Let's talk about the Anti-Aging Movement and where it Needs to Go

I'm Melissa , your coach , cheerleader and maybe even a little bit like that mom who always has a warm hug and the best advice waiting for you . If you're a woman over 40 , feeling like life's left you a little lost , aimless or downright stuck , you're in the right place . This is where your joy , your freedom and your purpose come back into focus .

Together , we'll laugh , learn and rediscover what makes you come alive . Because it's not too late , this is your time , so grab a cup of something warm , settle in and let's start creating the next most beautiful chapter of your life together .

All right , so I know that in the intro to the podcast , it talks about this being that warm hug from your mom and that plate of cookies and all that awesome stuff the things that we're all looking for in a mom . But I think sometimes we need real talk as well , and that's what I want to do today .

I want to talk about this whole anti-aging movement and where I think it needs to go . Because , let's be honest , if you're listening to this podcast , it's because you're aging , and there is absolutely nothing wrong with aging . It is the absolute natural process of life . So let's just talk about that real quick .

When my kids were little , I remember the first time I said this to my oldest son he was preteen teen right around that time . Well , I guess I don't remember preteen teen right around that time . Well , I guess I don't remember he was preteen at the time and I told him . I don't remember what we were talking about , but it was like . I told him .

I said you know , the moment that we're born we actually start to die . And that's the truth , because the moment that we're born I mean really the moment that we're conceived cells start to generate , regenerate , generate , regenerate , die , regenerate , die , regenerate . Over and over and over again .

This process of regeneration happens and as we age , that process just slows down , and that's the aging process . It's not that we're getting old and our bodies are falling apart , it's that we don't regenerate as quickly as we once did . And I remember telling my the same son he was almost 30 .

And I said to him I said oh , 30 , 30 is an interesting time because all of a sudden your body stops regenerating as quickly as it once did . Now it's . That's been happening , it's been slowing down , but at 30 , you really start to notice it .

And we went camping as a family and I remember a few days after we were done camping he called and he goes I don't know what's going on , mom , I just I can't , I'm just feel so exhausted , I have no idea what's happening . And I said well , you're 30 . And he goes what does that have to do with it ?

I said when you turn 30 , you start to notice this process of slowing down . Your cells just don't regenerate as quickly .

But even beyond the biological part , this whole anti-aging movement , anti-aging skincare , anti-aging supplements , anti-aging , anti , anti , anti I mean really words matter right , and when we say anti , that means we're against it and that's a negative statement . Anti is negative , so we're saying we're against aging , yet our bodies are naturally aging .

So what does that do inside of you ? What does that do mind , body and spirit ? Well , it's actually creating a war inside your body . If I'm trying to do something wonderful and I'm over here saying no , no , no , anti , anti , anti , it's like there's this dichotomy , there's this pull , this push and pull that's that's not productive .

So , anti-aging , this whole , this whole idea that wrinkles are bad , I don't understand . So , growing up , our mom taught us how to care for our skin and I don't remember her ever saying it was because she didn't want to get old . It was just because this is the only skin she's ever going to have and she wanted to take care of it .

And I feel like if you're putting on makeup to care for your skin , that's one thing , but if you're putting on all this stuff all over your face in an effort to stop the aging process , it's counterproductive .

You're going to age and I think about , like , all the movie stars and stuff like that , the ones that still look like they're in their thirties even though they're in their sixties or seventies . You know that's not natural , right ? I mean , let's be honest , that's not natural .

That's airbrushing , that's makeup , that's facelifts , that's all of that stuff that the average person just doesn't have access to , right ? Let's be honest , I don't have access to that . I'm not going to go and get a facelift , but I look at my face and I think to myself I look like a 55-year-old woman .

I don't think there's anything wrong with looking like a 55-year-old woman , because I'm 55 . And I think that's an okay thing . And then I think about all of the people that don't actually ever get a chance to be 55 . But this whole anti-aging , I don't like it .

I was watching a commercial with my dad the other day and it was I don't even know what it was for . It was for men's skincare , men's skincare . We are so specific now , men's skincare and it was like men over 40 look in the mirror and see this and they pointed to a wrinkle when they could be seeing this .

And they pointed to a model when men over 40 look into a mirror and see this and they point into a wrinkle when they could be seeing this . And they point into a model when men over 40 look into a mirror and see this and they point into the forehead wrinkles when they could be looking in a mirror and seeing this . And it was some airbrushed model .

Again , I don't like it . I don't like it . I feel like , if you are on this anti-aging bandwagon , that it's shameful . It's based in shame . It's based in shame . It's like shame on you for getting old , shame on you for having wrinkles , shame on you for having eyes that don't work as well as they once did . Shame on you for having gray hair .

Shame on you for having stretch did . Shame on you for having gray hair . Shame on you for having stretch marks . Shame on you for having a little bit of flab . Shame on you for having a menopause belly .

It's based in shame , and shame is the lowest vibrational emotion on the chart on the spectrum , and when we operate from this place of shame , we're bringing our energetic vibration down . Yeah , every single one of us has a specific energetic vibration , a perfect vibration in this life .

And when we have emotions like shame running through our body , when we have shameful thoughts , thoughts like shame on you for whatever and you can't tell me you haven't done that to yourself we beat ourselves up ridiculous amounts of time .

We beat ourselves up over the tiniest little things like oh my gosh , a chin hair , or oh , look at the double chin , or whatever . When we beat ourselves up , we are at war with ourselves . We are creating war in our mind , body and spirit . And when we have that division , when we have that bifurcation within us , we're not operating at our true designed state .

And when we are not operating at our true designed state . We're not giving to the world our very best . We're not showing up as our best . We're not showing up as who we were meant to be . That breaks my heart to think of all the years I've wasted , all of the years you have wasted beating yourself up over things you have zero control over .

In Steel Magnolias , when Dolly Parton's character says time marches on and eventually you realize it's marching right across your face , she's not wrong . Time marches on and the effects of time show up in our bodies . The effects of time show up on our skin and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a 55-year-old woman who has smile lines .

Think about all of the times you smiled to get those lines . Think about all of the amazing experiences you've had in your life to give you the wrinkles that you have . Because what are the wrinkles I mean ? Really , they're the lines in your face caused over time , just like crevices in the earth . Think about all of the times that you smiled .

That's why you have those lines . Think about all of the times that you loved your kids so much that the worry lines were there . Think about all of that . That's aging . There is nothing wrong with having lines on your face . There is nothing wrong with experiencing life to the fullest and having the skin to show for it .

Experiencing life to the fullest and having the skin to show for it . Now , like I said earlier , if you're putting on stuff on your skin to care for your skin , that's one thing I mean . I put moisturizer on today because my skin was feeling dry , but we don't have to cover up who we are . We don't have to hide who we are anymore .

You never had to hide who you were , but there was a part of you that believed you did to survive this life and that's okay . But we can let that go now . We can show up . We don't have to hide who we are . We don't have to cover up the lines on our faces anymore . On our faces anymore . Show up , be you , be 100% authentic you in every situation .

Allow those lines to come through . Think about where you'll be 10 years from now , 20 years from now and , if the Lord allows , 30 years from now . Think about the lines of life . This whole anti-aging movement , this whole idea that we have to chase after youth , is antiquated . It's outdated , it is no longer needed . You don't need it .

I don't need it , and you know what All these people trying to get you to buy all their crap that's supposed to keep you young looking . They need to get over themselves and they need to just realize that we just want to be . We just want to be . We don't want to be shamed anymore for experiencing life and for growing older . Because you know what ?

Not everybody gets to grow old . My brother passed away at 55 . Gets to grow old . My brother passed away at 55 . 55 . I turned 55 last year . He didn't get to live past 55 . Not everyone gets to get old . Not everyone has the privilege of getting smile lines on their faces .

So wear your smile lines as a badge of honor , your stretch marks a badge of honor , your menopause belly . Just embrace it . Because you know what ? The more we worry about that shit , the worse it gets . There's no reason for us to feel shame for existing as long as we have . So I'm sick and tired of the anti-aging movement .

I'm done with it , and I just wanted you guys to know that , and I wanted you guys to hear it from me first and , since we're here at the beginning of the podcast , I wanted you to know that sometimes I can get passionate , sometimes I can get salty .

Sometimes I can get a little spicy , but when I get that way it's because I feel passionate about what it is that I'm talking about and I want you to hear it , and I want you to know it's coming from a place of love and I hope that you heard it .

I hope that what I had to say today encouraged you and lifted you up and helped you realize that girl , girl , just be yourself , honey . Nobody needs you to pretend to be anything that you're not anymore . That is exhausting . Ain't nobody got time for that anymore . So show up , be yourself , embrace those smile lines and tell the anti-aging movement where to go

. Thanks so much for spending a little time with me today on the lemon balm coaching podcast . I hope you're walking away with something that sparks joy , hope or a fresh perspective for your journey . If you loved today's episode , let's keep the conversation going . You can find more inspiration , coaching tips and resources over at my website , lemonbalmcoachingcom .

Don't forget to follow me on social media for encouragement and updates , and you'll find me on Instagram and Facebook at Lemon Balm Coaching . And hey , if you're looking for a supportive , uplifting community of amazing women just like you , come join us in the Reignite your Flame Facebook group .

It's a safe welcoming space where we share , grow and cheer each other on , and you can find the link on my website or just search for Reignite your Flame on Facebook . Remember , honey , just be yourself . The world needs what only you have to offer . Take care and I'll see you in the next episode .