THE PODCAST ON HAUNTED HILL EPISODE 169 - TALK TO ME AND OLD PEOPLE

The Podcast on Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing. I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work. I saw this when I come. And be one of us.

Hello, and welcome to the Podcast on Haunted Hill, episode 169, nothing sexual joke content going on with those numbers. Moving past them, my name is Gav. Who are you?

I'm Dan.

Intrepid hosts like Indiana Jones with a big ball rolling behind him. And as he runs along, that's like me and Dan, as our mouths roll along with words with a big ball coming out of our mouths.

I thought then you were trying to say that you were Indiana Jones and I was just a big ball rolling behind you.

Oh, no, no, we're both Indiana Jones with a big ball rolling behind us together. Everybody, we're all together in this listening right now, aren't we? I hope everyone's all right and Happy New Year to the world.

Happy New Year to all of our listeners and supporters. It's the year, it is the year 2025. Mankind has nothing's changed, guys.

No, not really.

Not a lot has gone on, really.

Well, some stuff has. There's been a few natural disasters and things and what not.

We'll talk about that in a minute. I've got a theory about that. So, yeah, it's episode 169. It's our first episode of the year. And I think as was the case last year, as we kick off our 11th year of podcasting, which is mental, it is a...

I've still got that little musical thing we did for that somewhere.

It doesn't matter. We do it live every time.

Yeah.

Don't worry about it. No one wants to record it and we want it live. Not that we're live, but you know what I mean. And it is our lovely friend Rachel's choices today. She selected a couple of beauties for us.

She said she wanted to do things which are accessible for people. Currently in the region of over here in Europe on Netflix, the films are on. That's a really weird way of saying all that.

They are. Yoda just said. Let me just translate what Yoda said. In the UK, both films we're reviewing this episode are currently on there on Netflix. You did that brilliantly there. Yes, that's very thoughtful of Rachel.

The movies are. Netflix movies you can watch. It's on UK, I think.

Kingdom of United. The two films she selected are both from the O20.

Yoda, George Pornhub. What selection do they have?

Selection they have.

Selection they have, yes.

Anal double.

Double anal.

Anal double. Always the two there are.

Swamp ladies.

There is another skyrocket.

Slippery slump.

So the two movies are both from 2022 that Rachel has selected. One of them is a German film called Old People.

Old People.

Brilliant.

Oh, thanks, Gav, as the Germans would say, Old People. And then the other movie. So I've not seen either of these. And I think, Gav, you've definitely seen one of them, which is the other movie, which is the one that everyone's talking about, which is Talk to Me. Talk to Me. Talk to Me. Talk to Me.

Computing. I was first.

Yeah. So they're both on Netflix now. Talk to Me very recently here. Old People is on there. I think it's a Netflix exclusive, but it's a German movie. Occasionally, Netflix do chuck on some European and other foreign international horror films and other movies, and they're pretty damn good, some of them. So it's cool. It was cool to check both of these out. We'll get into those in a moment when we get to that part of it.

Or look for our helmets.

We would. And we'd go back in time to a year, mainly to talk about the horror movies that were out that year, but also to have a quick look at what was going on in the world. And the news and nature and science. But mainly to take a look at what was going on in horror. We started that, I think we started that in probably like the 30s. So we went back to the 1930s and we eventually caught back up with the year 2023. However, the year 2024 is now finished.

It's good. Come always come back to us. And Bill always needs a break after the Christmas. He gets a bit on it.

You know what it's like on a New Year's party.

Yeah. Those pictures when you're sitting on the photocopier.

It was a white Christmas for him, but it was also a white New Year. That's all I'll say. I'm not talking cocaine. I'm talking semen.

It was all white.

Sorry, Bill. So yeah, Time Team is coming up as well. It's going to be a fun, fun packed episode. What is he doing?

Just constantly jacking off.

Just constantly jizzing everywhere. Just everywhere.

It's like a disease.

It's like the end. You know, the end of the first Ghostbusters movie. That wasn't that wasn't Marshmallow.

It's not real, is it? The dude that couldn't stop orgasming. And then he was at his dad's funeral. Orgasming.

What are you talking about?

There's something. My brain thinks something's there. Where there's a dude that couldn't stop orgasming. And then he had to go to his dad's funeral and his dad's going, Oh, my God, is that like some black mirror type shit? I don't know.

Well, or my head. If you know, guys, please send us a postcard to the usual address.

Or is it real? Is that if that's real fucking hell?

Interesting. Very interesting. Well, let's get into episode 169. It's not 69, it's 169.

It's really annoying because Elijah is 10 and he doesn't obviously know 69. What, you know, the connotations of numbers. But he was like, 69, dude, because of Bill and Ted.

Yeah. Well, I always did as a younger.

And then he adapts it whenever it's 69, 69, look, 69, 69. And it's like, oh, just no. He hasn't recently for a little while.

Yeah, don't tell him about that for a little bit longer.

I'm not going to tell him that. He's got to figure that shit out for himself.

Yeah, I used to do that, though, because of Bill and Ted. I think when, you know, until I was about 30, I understood what it actually meant. Somebody at school told me and said, oh, it's a rude joke in Bill and Ted. My parents won't understand that. Obviously they did. Jesus Christ.

Of course they did. Yeah. Anyway, it's hilarious in the 80s where our parents probably just didn't really care. And you'll be sitting in front of the TV and they'll just be watching it as well. And then saying just complete naked woman full on nudity will just come on the screen and go off again. And they won't even... Whatever.

I was watching a quiz show with my in-laws over Christmas. And one of the questions on there was about the Hawk Tour girl, which I'm sure everybody is familiar with. Oh, God. Have you not seen the GIF, the meme, the TikTok? It's literally everywhere. The girl that's like, Hawk Tour, you got a Hawk Tour on that thing?

No, I've never seen.

You're probably the only person in the known galaxy.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

But the girl now has her own podcast off the back of being interviewed in the street on TikTok. And somebody said, what's one thing you got to do to keep the relationship alive? And she goes, you got a Hawk Tour on that thing.

Yeah, I've got it.

And she's now got her own podcast. But anyway, just because of that. Yeah. So one of the questions in this thing I was watching with my in-laws was, what was this girl famous for doing? And everyone on the show was talking about it for about three minutes. And it was so uncomfortable Saturday with my 75 year old in-laws. Oh, my God. I can't laugh at any of this stuff. And I can't acknowledge that I know what they're talking about.

I've never heard of that though.

Any resolutions, Gav?

No, I've been gymming it quite a bit, but that's not a resolution because it's quite funny. In January, I was going to the gym. I joined it in December, so I was already going. And then come January, you notice more people and you're like, oh, you're the New Year's people. Like, I'm going to get fit. And like, I'll see how long you keep seeing you for until you don't see any more. But I've been going to the gym quite a bit, really enjoying that, actually. Getting buff.

And I will be there feeding dear ice creams with you.

Oh, I'll sit on your lap and I'll put an ice cream in your nose.

Look, Bambi wants some ice cream.

Oh, when he has that push in his face, it's fucking amazing. I love it.

Who doesn't?

No, no resolutions, really. I'm just going to... Well, I'm just pushing deadbolt. I'm fucking... I'm going for it with deadbolt. It's like, let's fucking do it. Let's fucking go. So I think we're pushing it pretty hard. That's... It's not resolution, really. It's just doing that. But no, I don't do resolutions so much. Have you got anything?

No, not really.

No, I don't really do it. I used to a little bit, but then it's like... It's nice to have a start and date.

I've done the things I want to do, really.

Trying to do something is good. Yeah, like if you were to do something, it's good. But the thing is, though, it's like the gym. I was thinking about gym. I had a gym membership when I was probably mid 20s and couldn't really be bothered to go. I was going along and sitting in the spa and having a swim. Do you know what I mean? A jacuzzi. But this time I'm really going for it. And it's quite nice. I think it's like everything, drugs or alcohol or cigarettes. You got to want it.

I wouldn't have the time at the moment to do that. I used to go to the gym every lunch break. It's quite hard.

I've realized more I've been doing it, more I've been wanting to go, more I've been realizing, where do I, when do I do it? Where do I, it's quite hard, actually. Yeah, and I've been going for longer and longer and going, oh, I need to be doing it all casually and not pushing it really hard, doing it properly and having rest between reps and stuff, it says. And yeah, so yeah, I need longer time. But yes, that's it, really.

Indeed. And we don't have anything special for, well, I mean, we do, but we don't like, like with our 10th year, we tried to do a lot of director's specials and a lot of franchises.

Oh, we did last year.

That's right. Just sort of regular programming this year. Just normal stuff.

We got some good, good stuff coming up.

Really good stuff coming up this year. So stick with us, you know, and in the outro, I'll mention our next three episodes as always. Just should probably mention America having a bit of a tough time at the moment, especially in LA, where there are some terrible wildfires tearing through a lot of people's homes and properties and businesses. And I do have a small theory, as dark as it sounds, that I think some celebrities are cashing in on this.

There hasn't really been anyone really on the Diddy list.

Harris Hilton?

Yeah, that's it.

There's been a few on there.

Okay, that's all I heard.

But they all own multiple properties, so celebs, so, you know, but...

I don't think that's valid. I like the theory and the idea, but I don't think so.

I just think the same with 9-11. You'll always get the people that cash in, like those people that pretended to die during 9-11.

I'll tell you what's worse. There's people dressing as a fire department and actually loot us.

I know, that's a bad one.

I can't mourn you, cunts.

Really?

Yeah, and in a month where Trump is... Not that we're going to get political, but in a month where Trump is about to become president again, probably not a great start of the year to our American listeners, so we love you all and are sending you all well wishes. Yeah. But enough of politics and terrible things. Let's talk about what we've been watching.

Well, let's throw back very quickly back to Christmas. I know we don't want to do that because this year...

I love a bit of Christmas. Get your jingle bells out.

Well, not really. I was just going to say, on Boxing Day, Olivia Hussie passed away. She did.

I did see that.

You know, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day night, as I do, religiously. I like to get in bed. Me and Sarah are in bed late at night and watch Black Christmas. I love her.

Hello, hello!

Going, you know. And yeah, unfortunately, passed away Boxing Day, so that's a shame.

Great movie. And I was thinking about that movie today, funnily enough. While I was on the toilet, don't know why, and I was thinking, you know what? I prefer, you're going to think, what the fuck? You might not actually. I prefer Black Christmas to the original Halloween.

No, no, not at all.

It's to me, a more chilling...

I love that film.

It's a more chilling, better...

Yeah, very, very raw. It's more, it's very more calculated and the music score is very more cinematic.

It doesn't end nicely either.

Just the sound design of the voices.

Yeah, it's great.

What he's saying at times, like you can't, all that sort of stuff.

Great acting. Wow.

Okay.

Felatio.

That's great. And John Saxon. It's just a really, really good film. I really, thoroughly enjoy watching that Christmas Day night. I don't know why. It's just... I will do that till I die.

Yeah. Well, good for you.

I had birthday weekend. It's my birthday just gone.

You did.

We have got my birthday episode coming up next time. And I did actually watch a movie. I watched a prequel to Rosemary's Baby called Apartment 7A.

No. We got a little connection to that. But first of all, was it good? How was it?

Yeah, it's not too bad. It's very much in the vein of the original, but a bit more going, superior, but not as in style, but just as like ballet dancing and that sort of thing. And it's about a ballet dancer getting in and then...

So it's set?

It's like before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's basically a house, the same sort of principle, and they take her in and she gets a room in this apartment, this apartment block, she gets an apartment very cheaply and she managed to get into the dance school and all this stuff. And the dance school who personally says yes or no, it's my friend actually, my friend Jim.

Yeah.

And he says yes or no and she's let in and it all goes a bit bad. He's pretty damn creepy in it. He'd make quite a good serial killer actually. And yeah, it's the exact same movie really, it's Rosemary's Baby. You know what's going to happen if you've seen it. It's not as done as well as Rosemary's Baby.

Well, that's hard. That's a hard task though, isn't it?

Yeah. Well, the build up into everything is a bit more, it's a bit more emotive, I think in Rosemary's Baby. This one is a bit more black and white. It's fine though. I'll probably recommend it. Not if you got something else you're thinking, maybe watch the other thing, but it's not a bad movie in any way. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah.

I do want to check it out.

It's worth a watch actually. And the lead person was the lead lady was, I've seen her from that TV show. Oh, fucking hell. Doesn't matter. I'm not going to remember.

Yeah.

Anyway.

Yeah. All right. So you recommend that one.

Watch that for me, eldest. Yeah, I'll recommend it. It was right.

All right. The first film I wanted to mention is back from 2017, but I missed it and kind of forgot about it. And then it came back up on my list. And that is an Ozploitation movie, a creature feature as well. Oh, boy.

It's fucking excellent film.

I fucking loved it.

Have you never seen it?

No, that was the first watch.

When it tears through the whole house.

It was so good.

And the guys there, ahhh.

Funnily enough, and spoiler alert, I'm going to mention it in a minute anyway, I also watched Cocaine Bear the other day. They would pair up quite nicely. But yeah, poor, you know, that Ozploitation, they do it so well. The Aussies, they have a good laugh.

Really good photography in that film. Really beautiful sets.

Really beautiful photography. Fantastic effects. And I heard when it hit Fright Fest, apparently people were getting crazy about the effects. Oh, most part of the effects are really good.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm thinking of the old.

You're thinking of Razorback?

Razorback.

Ah, yeah.

I'm talking about Razorback. Everything I've said is about Razorback.

Brilliant.

But I do have Bore. I have it on DVD in my collection and I didn't mind watching that myself. Hasn't that got Bill Moseley or someone in it?

It's got Bill Moseley in it and it's also got the guy who plays the main killer in Wolf Creek. I forget his name. Garrett. Yeah, Mick Garrett.

Oh, is that his character's name? It might be John or something, actually.

It's him anyway.

Yeah, that's true. And no, it was all right. That film is okay as well.

Really, really good. I'd like to do another Osploitation.

You threw me when you said Osploitation, because proper Osploitation is the 70s and 80s for us, and that would have been Razorback.

But imagine if we did Razorback and Boar, two Aussie Piggy movies.

Have we done... Yeah, I would say we could both definitely do that because we can compare both films. Have we done Osploitation at the genre? I thought we did.

Maybe we just do a part. We did Mad Max and...

Oh, great.

The movie with the... With, you know... I'm going to take you up the bum and then wipe it on the curtain.

Oh, Waking Fright.

Waking Fright.

Brilliant film. I've seen it since then.

I'm glad you knew it from that. You knew it from that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do kind of recommend this movie to people. I actually did recently. It was in a little deadbolt meeting, actually.

I'd never seen it until you recommended it, so...

Anyway, yeah, let's do the Osploitation part, too.

OK, love it. And that's boar for anyone who hasn't seen it.

I did go to the cinema twice.

Yes, you did.

Contrasted films that show out right now, like I saw in the cinema, I saw Sonic 3 and Osferatu. Couldn't get any further away from each other.

I love the first Sonic movie and I thought Sonic 2 was really good as well.

And I think, unfortunately, I think it Jim Carrey's last film, Sonic 3, but it was really good and he loves it. He's, he's, he's just cheering up. He loves doing it.

Yeah, I can tell.

And it was really good fun because I'm a big fan of the Sonic movies. I think they're really good.

Me too. And I've heard that the ending opens up for the fourth one as well.

It's funny because I say to someone like Sarah, oh, you know, you should check out the Sonic movies. Yeah. OK. Yeah. And it's one of those things you don't really think of watching animation so much. So I say like that because I got kids. I'm kind of like, I go and watch these and every once in a while you watch a movie and you're like, that's fucking well good. I tell you what, I enjoyed the new Wallace and Gromit film.

That was pretty good.

That was really good. Yeah. Check it out.

I mean, when I watched the first Sonic movie, I remember as the credits rolled, I just felt really happy. And it was just a good film. Yeah. It just made you feel good. Do you know what I mean?

It's just a nice little story. Go into something and ignore the world. Yeah, it's very much. It's good. It's funny. I didn't really know. I've never seen any other not for autos. I got to me.

I was.

Yeah, I still haven't. And I was having a bad day. I couldn't get into the gym that day. I was literally there for my gear and I couldn't get in. I had a problem. And I was annoyed me, which is really weird. I never thought I'd be annoyed and not get into a gym, which is strange. And I kind of went into watching the bad way and I kind of put down on the Facebook page. It was boring. It's not boring.

But so yeah, so the story is kind of the same story. Is that they wanted to do a Dracula film, but the Stoker family wouldn't allow it. So they basically slightly changed some of it and basically told the same story, but with different names.

So go and watch it again. I was just a bit like, oh, OK, it's the same story, but it's a bit more romantic. It's a bit more focused more on the lady who not so far has his romance eyes on. And I don't know. It was OK. It's a bit too long. Period wise, incredible. If you look at the costumes. But but Eggers comes from doing costumes and stuff. So that is just amazing. The set design, the rats and stuff. It made me wish so.

Cinematic.

Just it is, hands down. I think after when we reviewed it, I was just like, fuck me, it's incredible.

Yeah, to be honest with you, you know, I did all my Universal movies over October and the couple of years before that, I did all the Hammer. It is hard, you know, those Hammer movies are great. The Universal movies are great. And especially the first Dracula from each of those studios are very, very good. But it feels weird to say because it's a newer film, but then it's not because it's from the early nineties, which is actually a long time ago now.

Absolutely. Yeah. Gary Oldman is just incredible.

Hard to think of another version of Dracula.

It's really well cast and actually, I was watching it not long ago and Keanu Reeves isn't as bad as it could be. And if that is the bad thing about that film, then I don't know what I mean.

Over the years, because it's been sat with us for so many years, I've kind of grown to love some of those little flaws with it.

Yeah, it's fine.

Winona Ryder is perhaps slightly miscast and perhaps a little bit. Even the werewolf wanking in the woods and all that kind of stuff. But, you know, you like that, do you?

But yeah, I think Aaron Taylor Johnson, I think that's his name. He's just, he's acting that's pretty much the peak of his acting ability there. That is it. He's not going any higher than that. And it's a bit like, yes, it's a shame because someone else could have really fucking gotten there. Like, Winona Day foes in it.

Or Robert Pattinson did amazing in The Lighthouse.

Robert Pattinson could have done that and it would have been really good. You could really go into it. And he was just literally like, let's go to him. OK, well, let's smoke it over.

And it's like, there is another Dracula movie that I really enjoyed recently. And that's The Voyage of the Demeter.

Yeah, it's a good film. Yeah, it's fine.

Really enjoyed that as well.

So I think Nosferatu, I thought it was a little dull. Sorry, I thought it looked really good. It's a shame because I love Eggers, but I don't know what I was wanting.

I recommend checking it out again when you're feeding.

I said to Sarah, actually, I'm going to dirt when it's like an afternoon. I'm going to get known what I'm getting into. And I'll just put it on because the period of it was gorgeous. It looked really beautiful. It's like the eye to attention to detail is incredible. Yeah, I'd say for classes, for filmmakers who are doing art design and stuff, or that's art department stuff and set design and characters and costumes, you know, watch that. But I think the story should be... Why is it so long?

Well, talking of which, I might as well get mine out...

It costs more money to make him so long. Why?

Calm down. I might as well get mine out the way now. I've got a rant to have. Yeah. So there's a brand new movie. That's just... Everyone's raving about it. I'm talking about Wicked. Me and Alice watched it.

Okay. Yeah.

You've heard of it?

Yeah. I'm giving my opinion of it whatsoever. I'm not gonna...

So, big fan of the stage production, been to see it a couple of times. Oh, really?

I don't know. Is it Wizard of Oz?

It's the prequel to... It's the backstory of the Green Witch, the Wicked Witch of the West. And it's done... It's really amazing. The musical is amazing. And I've been to see it a couple of times, I can say. It's just... Yeah. It's great. Probably one of the best musicals I've seen on the stage.

It's all Stola Express, or as a kid.

Amazing. That's so 80s. So Alice and I said, let's have a date night. Let's have a date night. Let's not go to the cinema. And I've got a side tangent about that in a moment as well. Let's rent it at home, stream it at home, just try and get the kids down to bed early. It's 15 pounds to stream. So we did that. Got some snacks, sat down and watched it. And we laughed all the way through how terrible it was. Because let me explain my reasoning before anybody sort of furiously sends me a postcard.

I'm going to send an angry pigeon.

Now, the musical is about three hours long. So you got like an hour and a half, maybe two hours, then you go for a break, then you come back for the last hour and it's brilliant. That's fine. This movie is two hours and 45 minutes long and it's part one. Part two is coming out next year or this year. So you're talking about almost six hours of film from a three hour ish musical.

Why don't you just get a British accent?

Why don't they just get a goat? There's a British guy in it. I can't remember the character's name, he plays the prince. And he is, when he starts singing, he turns into an American. And then in the middle of the song, his accent's flitting between British and American. It's just appalling. The effects feel like they're 90% finished. It feels like they couldn't quite bring themselves to finish some of the special effects.

Is it Disney?

No, no. I can't remember the studio. And it's just, I ended up giving it 4 out of 10.

Good date night, then?

Well, we actually really enjoyed...

You had a laugh, though, because you're taking the piss out of it.

Yeah, we spent the time together laughing, and we sort of passing the popcorn backwards and forwards, and you know, it was just really lovely. And I wouldn't recommend it to anybody. I would recommend it to people, if you're a big fan of it, from the stage production, I'm going to it expecting it to not be what you see in the theatre. And I would also say to people, don't spend the 15 pounds on it, wait for it to be maximum of five pounds, ideally free.

I'm not sure if any of our listeners would be watching Wicked.

I think a lot of people would.

I'm pretty sure Sarah's not going to say to me, Gav, do you want to watch Wicked?

And my tangent, I'll just wheel back around to what I mentioned just now, is I said to somebody that we were doing that, and they said, why would you watch it at home? I think you should really watch it on the big screen. I said, well, I can't get to the cinema to watch it. They were like, yeah, you can go watch it. You know, 15 quid, it's cheaper at the cinema.

Did you say you got kids?

Well, yeah, they know me. He's one of my best friends. And they were sort of saying, you know, but it's cheaper to go to the cinema. And I said, for you it is, because you can walk to the cinema, you spend five pounds.

It depends. If you're going to pay for parking, pay for the petrol.

I worked out it would cost about 120 quid for me and Alice to go and watch this, because we would have to spend about 15 quid each on a ticket, maybe 10 if you're lucky, for an evening showing, then petrol parking snacks. And then we need a babysitter for a minimum of four hours that will babysit two kids. So it's going to cost between 100 and 120 pounds for us to watch that film.

Showcase Sunday nights do 4.99, Monday nights.

Yeah, but I've still got to pay a babysitter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm saying.

So I go to the cinema, I still go to the cinema about once a month on my own. It's impossible for us to go together. But this is what I was saying to one of my friends.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's all very well for you to say.

When the kid's young, you can't do shit.

That's just the way it is.

It's the way it is. And it will be for a little bit and then it will can change.

But if you think about it this way, it's 15 quid, but that was 7.50 each. And we had a good old laugh watching it.

What is the age you can leave kids by themselves? 13?

My kids turned 4 this year, so 4.

Just leave them. See you there. I'm off to work for the day. So you've got about 9 years until you both can go out and just leave.

And I don't care because Alice doesn't normally want to go to the cinema anyway. Not that often.

How disappointed would you be if you got off your arse though, actually go out to watch that movie and you're disappointed by that movie?

Especially if I spent 120 quid with babysitter's fees and petrol.

You'd have looked at Alice and said, Alice, I don't care what you say, I'm popping my cock in this popcorn and you're fucking going for a rummage because this movie sucks.

It took about 20 minutes before Alice looked at me and said, she laughed and said, what the fuck is going on? I said, this is not like the musical. But anyway, enough about that. I also watched a great film the other day, which I mentioned called Cocaine Bear.

Yeah, I saw it at the cinema. I had to see that at the cinema. The problem is, Gav, I think I slated very quickly, I think I slated, not slated, stated on the podcast Facebook page when it came out, I said, this is going to go in my collection. I don't even know what it's like. And lo and behold, I've got the Blu-ray in my collection. So I was like, yes, absolutely.

Well, I went into it expecting it to be a comedy, maybe a slightly low budget comedy. And the effects, some of the effects are slightly quirky.

It's a bit of a budget to it.

Jesus Christ, the gore. Yeah, I did not expect that. There's a scene, not to spoil it, but there's a scene where a man is up a tree being eaten by the bear, also up the tree, who's high on cocaine. Both of them are. And the screams of pain as he's been devoured by this bear. I was like, this is bad.

We should, I think, did I say put on a list before?

It's on the list. I mean, to be honest, we were going to do Orca and Grizzly.

We should do World Life of Mutt again.

I just think we need to do Grizzly and Cocaine Bear. Let's just have a bear episode.

Let's just do a bear episode, because there's a great sub genre of bear horror films. And I love the Wilderness movies. I love those, especially the 70s, Day of the Animals, Lesley Nielsen, Rest in the Burrow in a Nighttime Thunderstorm, Bear Back himself. Wow.

But for anyone who hasn't seen Cocaine Bear, the title says it all. Yeah. You know, if you want to go watch Ice Cube Sun. It literally does, yeah. It's so funny. It's got a great soundtrack, great acting performances, really funny. And I knew it was going to be a very, they're both adult film when the two small, very young children at the beginning do Cocaine.

It's quite fun, isn't it? That's why, because I was watching my kids and I haven't yet. And at the time, I remember thinking, I don't know, because it does really glorify Coke for a little bit for kids. I have a great name, Cocaine and Bear, both two things which could be fun, but dangerous. Yeah, so that movie, and that pretty much says that movie is a fun movie, but slightly dangerous.

It's just fun. And there was even an homage to the great outdoors in there.

That was great. But we'll definitely do a bear episode. Absolutely. Sorry, this is, we could get on to the films. We will. It's the first of the day. I'll tell you another thing I watched. I watched a Superman documentary about Christopher Reeve.

Super slash man.

Yeah. I was trying to explain to Elijah, like saying, when I was a little kid growing up, there was no superhero movies. There was some sketchy Spider-Man climbing up a wall sideways movies, which you'd catch. No, not for me. Not for me growing up.

That was Batman. Adam West.

Oh, yeah, but not movies.

Yeah, but you still live action.

But not a proper big thing. The Batman films, Superman films were a big thing, and that was really the only superhero movie going. And and it was Superman. And so I was trying to explain to Elijah, growing up as a kid, when you're real small, watching Superman, Crystal Reeve, when you're, you know, four or whatever, four or five. It's crazy. He was in your head. The most super, all super, all men.

The best man of all men.

And I said to Elijah, then he had this accident and explained about him and why what happened and just saying it's crazy as a kid growing up and going, Oh, OK, this is not this is a Superman in a film, but it's a real person. And and he's had this accident. Yeah. And it really is a really strange thing. And I feel Crystal Reeve was a really amazing person. He was a really amazing human being, actually. A fairly decent human being. Yeah. It's an unfortunate situation.

It's amazing. And it made me cry.

Give you a tear. Oh, you seen it?

Yeah.

Yeah. Give you give you a little tear.

Yeah. You know, there's another documentary I want to see about Michael J. Fox called STILL STILL. I haven't had the balls to watch it yet because I know I'll be crying all the way through. He was another one of my heroes and still is in some ways as a kid. Christopher Reeve, you know, after it's Fox, these were people we looked up to when we were young and to see them get ill and get old. And Christopher Reeve case pass away, you know, it's sad. But what an amazing life.

Yeah. And it just, I don't know, it hit me harder when I was a kid that the whole thing, when it happened, it's just not hit. It's just like, just like, oh my, what? And, you know, you know. Anyway, on another thing, last thing I'll say, as it's my birthday, I actually got a present from the kids. I got a scream game.

Oh yeah. So our buddy, our listener, our friend Dean Martin also said he got this, I think, for Christmas as well. So tell me, how does this work? Is it like Cluedo, but someone gets stabbed up?

You download the Scream app, which you start at the same time playing it, once you've put all your names into it and how many players and you've got these cards and there's a board of four different places, think Cluedo. So there's four different areas Ghostface might end up being. He will ring up on the app. All of a sudden, Ghostface will ring up and he will say where he is. You know, that's cool.

Can it be a final girl or a final boy?

No, it's just everyone wins.

Oh, that's good.

Well, unless I was playing it totally wrong, but that's the way we played it. And it was really good because it stopped any arguments with the kids.

That's good. There's no arguments.

It's so good.

And so he rings up on the app and you answer it and you all listen to what he says, is that right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So we could play again tomorrow night. That's decent. It's really good. It's really simple play. We went a whole round, so 20 minutes. It's so much easier. And I've got the Jaws game and I've got some other games and they're quite hard. It takes you about 45 minutes to figure out what you're doing or remember what you're doing before you start playing because it's such a lot. You know, this was really easy.

Nice.

I'm sure Dean's listening and going, that's not how you play the game.

He's like, I put a mask on, I've got a knife and went out and no, he didn't, Dean wouldn't do that. Last film I watched, I watched it last night and it got under my skin. I know that you and Sarah have your opinions on it, but I had it very uncomfortable. I watched Long Legs.

No, I could understand where you're coming from. It has that, it has that to it. It just kind of just lingers.

I've got to watch it again now because now I know the last act. I've got to go back and watch it again because I've read lots of bits and bobs on it. And there's lots of clues and things. Once you know it's one of those films, if you go back and watch it again, once you've seen it, you'll pick up on bits again. But what I find most disturbing was just some of the images hiding in corners and backgrounds.

Yeah, it's definitely taken those influences.

Yeah, if you like any of those, but you want a bit more of an occult, supernatural twist to it. It also at times felt a bit like that movie Prisoners with Hugh Chapman.

It just got, it started amping up at first. You're like, you're on a ramp up going great. Then it just stalled and just kept going at flat. And it was like, okay.

There is a pause in the middle, but then there's a scene to bring you out of that.

Yeah, I don't know.

That involves a table.

I'll probably watch it again unless I have to.

Ah, well, I really recommend Long Legs. If you want something that will get under your skin, watch it with the lights out, settle under a blanket.

Yeah, yeah, I totally.

I won't say anymore, really.

I saw it at the cinema and as I find recently, well, not recently, it's always been the case, isn't it? When you go to the cinema, there's always someone or something to distract you. There's always just something that pops up and I'm easily distracted like that.

This is why these days I prefer to watch things at home, for the most part.

Quite often, yeah, totally. I could, if I fought back to pretty much every movie I've seen, the cinema recently, there was something going on. There's some group of people talking, like in Osrata, there was just a woman just constantly talking, but in a distance from me, so it was OK. But you could constantly hear them talking. It's like, why isn't there some person next to me saying, shut the fuck up? And it's like, you know, so I know what you're saying there.

Yeah, like if you go and watch Cocaine Bear at the cinema, you don't mind the odd person rustling their bags and laughing and talking.

Yeah, that's not too bad. But like watching Osrata, you know, I want to check Osrata out.

I was going to go to the cinema to watch it.

Lily Depp is not too bad in it. She is got, she's, you know, like when people get old and they have plastic surgery and their skin goes really tight. Shit, her fucking forehead is so tight. What is going on? You're a young lassie.

What are you doing?

And she shows some boobs. It's a bit weird because you feel like she must be like 15 or something. I know she's not. Yeah, I don't know. It's a bit weird. I don't know. I think people probably like it. I don't know. I think it's done very, very well.

Yeah, I love that about him.

Which is good. But yeah, it's good for everybody because that means more things will get green lit.

Well, and when we get to jump in the time machine later on, we will probably be able to find out. I personally feel that 2024 was a blinding year for horror.

It's a shame because when we're doing them a lot closer to the time each episode, I could keep a track of films and how they're doing them. It's really interesting, but obviously, it's been a bit of a while since the last one, last year.

Although not every film was a banger for 2024, there was a hell of a lot of horror content out there for people. So far this year, for 2025, there's a lot of stuff coming out like Wolfman.

Horror is actually doing pretty well, but always has done. Like how Universal saved, horror saved Universal and cinema at the time. You got to remember, then there wasn't that many studios, there's a few, not a huge amount. Like horror saved it then. It seems to be like now, obviously, the Marvel thing, they've stepped back a little bit. They're concentrating a little bit more with, hopefully more on what it is rather than a huge amount of things.

Yeah. Always has. It's good. And the final thing before we get into Rachel's email, the final thing related to all of that really is, congratulations to Demi Moore for winning a Golden Globe for her role in Substance.

And the comedy, though.

Well, they have to put it under that because they wouldn't put it. Because there is comedy elements in it.

Yeah, but I suppose there's no horror genre.

No, no. So it's under comedy.

Why not?

Because they still don't really recognize it. Even though they exist.

It's such a weird thing because horror is such an emotive thing.

Yeah, but it doesn't win enough. It's the last time horror has won an award, you know.

And one Oscar for the writing, for script writing, for Get Out.

But that was under a comedy as well. It's just the way it goes. It's dark because, you know, horror is classed as dark comedy.

Like a bunch of dickheads.

It means that she is in the running now for getting nominated for an Oscar of some kind.

All right.

We'll see how that goes.

A lot of it is all nonsense, though the awards ceremony is but at least recognition is OK, I suppose. But and I'm glad that Demi Moore won and for a new movie and I like new movies anyway, but substance blew me away.

It did.

So do you want to do Rachel's letter now? Because then it's so much better because if we did a trailer, then drop her letter. It doesn't seem right. We need to have the trailer and then it's straight into the film.

That's true. So what I'll do is I'll read out her message to me in full. So thank you, Rachel, for taking the time to get this over to me. And she's going to talk about the two movies, bits that she liked about them both, why she selected them. So I'll just read it. Here's Rachel's message. So OLD PEOPLE, she says, This is a German movie that caught my eye on Netflix. I watched it dubbed because I was very tired, but then I re-watched it a few days later, subtitled. I really enjoyed this movie.

Let's get into it, because it's been a 51 minute trailer, intro.

Trailer?

Trailer. Whoa.

The trailer's coming out.

It's 51 minutes. Everyone's tuned off. But if you haven't, stay with us.

It's the first one of the year. They're here to listen to us, Gav.

Let's get on it.

Here's a trailer for Old people.

Yeah, let's do it.

Hi, Aunt Sona. Hey, big guy. How are you? Good. Mom's driving. Oh, I can't wait to see the three of you. When will you be here? Is grandpa coming to the reception tonight? Where is dad anyway? At the Solheim Retirement Home. Noah, come. Let's go look for grandpa. What is this? A grave? A monument supposed to protect families so they stay together. Hello, dad. Whoever hurts them is cursed. Thou shalt honor the old, for they are great in number. And one day you will all be like them.

From 2022, rated 15, now on 41 minutes. A woman travels home with her two kids for their sister's wedding, but finds herself defending her family against blood-seeking pensioners. Pensioners are like, give me your blood.

Now, we've seen a movie like this in a way, with the, what was the zombie one?

Cockneys vs. Zombies.

Yeah, we've kind of seen that in a way, but there was not just pensioners in that one. That was like the other way around. That was pensioners against zombies. This one is pensioners against normal people.

I feel early on, only early on in the movie doesn't come back to it, but I thought it was set in a theme earlier on, and it sort of gave a sort of connection to X, you know, the Ty West film, where it's about being old and then being jealous and wishing to be young again. X has that, and it seems almost lay this out, but then doesn't go, it doesn't give a really, it's like a zombie movie. It's basically a zombie movie, but with old people.

Actually, funny enough, my last comments on it, I'll read out now are, what I get from this film is, it is firstly, the young people's fear of growing old and dying, their mortality. That's what I get from, as the end credits roll. But also, this movie is also telling you the story of old people's anger towards other people, towards the youth and to just be abandoned as they grow old. So I felt like that it did touch on that throughout. And then certainly that was the end point.

Yeah, we don't get a reason, spoiler. We don't get a reason why it happens like you do quite a lot of zombie movies. And this seems to be a zombie movie. I wonder if they did at some point just go, let's change this to old people.

Well, you do. It's linked to that statue and the spiritual.

You will have to explain to me then, because I must have missed it.

Yeah, it's to do with folklore. And I mean, Rachel mentioned it. Old folklore. And Rachel mentioned it as well in her message.

You know me.

So there is kind of a reason for it, but it's not it's not dwelled on too much, which is fine. And we've had some kind of movies before where we've had kids that just become murderous for no reason, like that film The Children. We've had mom and dad. And now we've got old people. So I think we've done all the generations.

And you know, in human, some of the best horror movies, really the ones that people can resonate with and feel like it's a part of real life. Do you know what I mean? A little bit more. And they're the ones which could be the scariest. And getting old, nobody, even the most money in the world, nobody gets away from being old. Every person is the same and we're all the same anyway, but status and wealth apparently changes who we are. But everyone is the same and we can't escape it. So it's good.

I mean, yeah, you're right. Age comes for us all. This, though, is just more about, I like the fact that although there is a reason for it, it's not, like I said, it's not dwelled on enough. It's just they don't understand why to them, why these old people are suddenly doing what they're doing.

Go for it, yeah.

Oh, take your teeth out, grandma.

We've got a family on their way to an old people's home. Yeah.

Well, there's a bit of text on screen, first of all, about an ancient, evil spirit affecting the old. And we find out a bit more about this later. But basically, if you don't look after your elderly, your elders, then the weakest in the family, the weakest in the clan will come back and get you being the old. As Rachel mentioned, the weakest in the clan, the old will be infected by some kind of demon or spirit or infection and come back and kick you in the balls.

I should have written this down when I possibly remembered it.

We start off, actually, with an old man in a hospital. It's a very rainy night and he's on oxygen. And we get a lady called Melissa, who's his carer. She pulls up outside and she goes in to, his name is Mr. Rainex. She goes into his apartment and the door was already open. Yeah. So we know something's up because we've seen a few shots of this guy. And this is the home alone looking guy that Rachel was talking about, the guy who shovels salt in Home Alone. And she walks in.

You think she is dropping a depository?

I want to know what Mr. Renke gets from her. Mr. Renke, it's me, Melissa, your nurse.

He's getting sexual. We can't get up anymore.

I don't know about that. But we can't see him anywhere. But we do see his empty wheelchair. And she's thinking, why? He's in a wheelchair normally. He's confined. What's going on?

He's body popping in the corner.

He's spinning on his head on a bit of lino.

Getting down to run DMC.

No, he creeps up on her and he says, he whispers, help me. And then he smashes her head in with the oxygen cylinder.

Interesting, interesting words before attacking.

Yeah, help me smash.

That's kind of to say that little bit there, though, does go to tell you that he is being his body's being made to do something that his mind doesn't want to happen.

He doesn't particularly want to be doing this, but he is.

So that's quite interesting, clever thing.

And then the goosebump part really here now is when he leans out the window and he howls like an animal. And in the background, you hear other old people howling back almost. And then there's fire all over the city.

Have you never been walking at night time for a park and heard the howl of the old person? No.

Oh, that's the lesser spotted grandma howling out there.

That's the blue-titted old lady over there.

Blue-titted, she must be cold.

It's a fairly common occurrence. They're not so much now. They've been dying out a bit. Dying out a bit.

But yeah, we get this shot, I don't think Rachel mentioned this in her message as well, where we see that the city is on fire all over. There's chaos and there's old people howling. And then the voice over says, basically, there was an incident. Nobody really knows truly what triggered it. And then we cut to the part you mentioned.

The family.

The family drive-in scene.

It's so bad.

Just that little chunk. But it's all good. So we got a mum driving along. She's separated from her partner now. He'll show up later on. And she's got her son and daughter with her. And they're called, I can't remember their names now. Doesn't matter. I'll come to that in a minute.

Boy and girl.

Boy and girl. And they're driving along. It's a beautiful sunny day. And they're talking about, you know, oh, we're going to this wedding. It's their auntie's wedding. So their mum's sister's wedding. And they start singing along to a song on the radio. The family song. They miss dad. You know, is he dead? We're not quite sure. No, he's not dead. He's got himself a new woman, which we'll also meet awkwardly at this wedding as well later on.

They didn't know. They weren't told. Apparently they weren't told. Yeah, that he's in the home. So she was a bit like, what the hell? What do you mean? And he's always been ill. So we have to put me there.

Oh, yeah, he's very, very ill. And what we find out later on is she hasn't actually been to visit him for a couple of years.

And unfortunately, again, as real life happens, people do that. They put their folks into the old people's home and go brilliant and just carry on doing their life and forgetting that they exist.

Awful.

Horrible, isn't it?

Well, the children obviously love their grandfather and they sort of both proclaim, well, we hope he can make it to the wedding, you know. So that's that really. Alex is a boy who arrives on a bike and he is a childhood friend and sometimes the mother of the daughter, Laura. And they kind of like wave through the window and we know that they're going to go out on their bikes. And even their speedboats later on, because he's so cool. He's got a speedboat, this kid. There's Noah is the son.

OK, I'm just going to look at my notes and see now if you're rushing ahead of me.

Oh, I do apologize.

At the old people's home very quickly, just going back, I said there's a dude that mistakes the lady and so save me thinking like she's someone else and sort of just drop sort of dementia into it as well. And it does pretty much go through everything, which is not the nicer side of being old. Yeah, all these bits.

Yeah, we're going to see a lot of this because Lucas, who we've just met now, who is the ex-partner of the mother, he, his new girlfriend, Kim, she works miraculously, works at the same old people's home that their grandfathers are.

Yeah, so the mum wanted a job in the city and the dad didn't, he wants to stay in the country. So the mum went with the kids. That's what I've established.

And Lucas went off and got himself a new woman.

Well, yeah, because she's left, so yeah.

Well, Noah, the boy, is obviously really happy to see his dad. Ella is a little bit awkward about this, the mum. And Sana is the sister, she picks up on it. And she's like, it's just this tension between the two women, the old girlfriend, the old wife and the new girlfriend, which later on comes to quite a big conclusion, which is brilliant when it happens. And I did not see it coming at all.

Well, this is the thing, it's like they didn't break up for, in fact, one was cheating on the other or the one did something else. They broke up because one wanted just to have a career in a city and didn't want to sit in the country. And it was just one of those reasons. So, very easier for them to sort of reek and solve their romance as such. Because she does say later on, how can you love two people? And I actually said this to Sarah, I said, can you love two people? I've never realized that.

I think you can love two people, but I think you'll always love one of them more.

Yeah, so really, yeah, I love you. I love loads of people, but, you know, actually your significant other, as the old boy would say, I think there could only be one.

There can be only one.

There can only be one romance in your life. That's what my life coach said to me when he was whipping me with a stick.

I was going more for the Highlander thing there, but that's fine.

Mine was some sort of barbarian sensei.

I love that. You come out with a sore ass every time, but you feel good about yourself. Well, Lucas, the dad says, look, let's go and pick up your grandpa to bring to the wedding. Let's get in the car and drive. So they head off in the car.

And as they're driving out of the village, Grandpa's got some more new breakdancing moves he wants to display for the audience.

This doesn't really happen, guys. As they're driving out through the village, all the old people are stood around like some kind of hammer film or something, really, where something's affected everybody and they're all just staring at them. And the boy actually says, why are the old people just stood there staring? And they just don't ever really see many people around these parts.

No, I'm not oldest or anything. And I'm not going to be like this in the old enough thing. But generally, you can make an old person fairly creepy, like you can babies, actually. So, you know, old people think a little bit easier, though.

Yeah, I've got no teeth, but actually babies haven't got any teeth either. What was your point, though?

Fuck this.

Just that old people are creepy.

Yeah.

Yeah, they are. So they arrive at the retirement home.

I'm going to fucking just be really creepy and just scare young children. Not in a weird P, though.

OK. Excellent.

Just no, isn't it?

So they arrive at the old people home where grandpa is, and it looks deserted. There's mess. There's food all over the floor. There's a creepy old lady lying in a bed as they're walking around. And then they get to this one room where all of the old people are gathered just in one room, like they're having a weird meeting where they're sort of like, you know, like in Black Sheep, where all the sheep get together.

It's because they go along. Yeah, totally. And there isn't really any staff. That's the thing. Like, you know, and you probably know it's a skeleton career anyway. This is unfortunate. Another unfortunate incident. It's like teachers. You can't always blame teachers sometimes because they've got so many kids and so little time to try and get through to everybody. And they only get paid a certain amount. Do not mean it's the same with these staff members. I guess paid a certain amount.

Yeah, and I think this is the bit you mentioned earlier. So actually, we hadn't quite jumped ahead. This is the bit now. So Noah goes off wandering around because he really wants to find his grandpa.

And he finds an old man in a bed who sort of says, So you know, he just look at this a bit, but he just turns in the corridor and he just looks and the old guy is just looking at him. And they're just staring at each other a long time. And you're like, get away from that old guy. Get away from that old guy. And he just kind of follows him, doesn't he?

And then he sees a nude old lady in the bath.

It's like shining all over again.

And the carer comes in, Oh, what are you doing in here? And then they basically ask, where's Kim? Which is Lucas' new girlfriend who works there. And she arrives. She takes, Oh, come to me. I'll take you to your grandfather. And they ask, you know, why the fuck have you got all the old people tied to the beds? She said, basically, we're understaffed. Some of them get out and go wandering around the grounds and could hurt themselves. They could even just fall out of their bed.

I know it comes up on those things, though. I don't know what they do. If they were to go, okay, so let them all out. If they then have someone who does get injured, obviously this is a very cruel film, not saying you should do that, but if you do have someone gets injured, then you've got to nurse that person more and more. So, you know, it's a whole thing. Are you rusting for Christmas, Chocolate Christmas?

Sorry about that. Christmas Chocolate.

Um, there's a wedding outside and the old folk look out the windows and they're all just...

Hang on, hang on, we haven't quite got there yet. Sorry. Do apologize. Now, the boy gets separated now, and then this is where he comes across...

This is where he stares at that.

Yeah, yeah. Creepy, nude, half nude OAPs. But they do find grandpa. So just probably get to the wedding. They do find grandpa, but he doesn't recognize Noah. The adults all catch up with Noah. Oh, here he is. But he's completely catatonic, that grandfather. And Kim says, you know, they're staring at you.

But you broke up, the mum and dad.

Yeah, because they carved their names on the stone.

That's a fucking shit reason.

Well, I said that's what I think, maybe.

I'm not disagreeing with you. I was saying I think it's a shit reason.

OK, fair enough, fair enough.

There should have been some crazy thing going on, some fucking dodgy water drinking sort of situation or something, I don't know.

But they kiss so that she's happy, happy young lady with her boyfriend. And then we cut to, so it's not quite the wedding. It's like the pre-wedding. So in some countries, they have like a pre-wedding thing. So this is like a pre-wedding day. So I think the wedding is supposed to be the next day.

Fucking hell, pre-wedding, Jesus, just get on with it, for fuck's sake.

But they're all there, you know, having a great time, having a party. And all the old people are silently staring silently out of the window, listening, aren't they? They can hear the music blowing in the window.

The windows are open and they're just listening to the music and stuff. And the orderly comes in and says, what are you doing? Oh, you like the music, do you? And I thought, oh, he's going to be an all right lad. And he's going to go, you know, what we could do is get, I thought he was going to go, tell you what, I'll get a record player and he could bring a record player and then he could listen to music. I thought it would sound like that.

He's basically like Ben Stiller from Happy Gilmore.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, you go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. Yeah. Yeah, well, he's going to get his come up in a minute. While that's happening at the dance, we should mention that Lucas and his his ex-wife, Sana, they're kind of dancing together. And they might be rekindling their romance. We're not quite sure.

Yeah, totally. We do have like other stuff going on. So we've got we've kind of established in this old people's home as a lot of members of the the old folk there and not much staff. You're looking at, I guess, like three. Yeah, and and there seems to be an old lady buying an electric cable in one of the one of a hallway somewhere. Yeah.

I mean, this is where basically they decide to launch their attack on the young. So whilst all that's going on upstairs and the man's going, shut the windows, you won't bugger this other this other orderly finds this lady. Yeah, and she's like, who's down here?

It's quite creepy, isn't it? And you're like, oh, don't buy the electric cable.

She sees her. She reminded me a little bit of the grandma from the visit. Yeah, like really creepy. Yeah, she bites the electricity cable so that the power goes out in the whole people's home.

Yeah. And then she bites the orderly. No, no, no, no, she doesn't because she's the electric current.

Or does she? Is it her? I don't think she does. No.

Someone bites the orderly. Oh, it's the other orderly.

Yeah.

Well, the other orderly shut the window upstairs.

He gets bitten.

Yeah. Then they have a mass stabbing.

Well, yeah. Then they all grab loads of broken glass when they smash the window. And he gets absolutely shredded by shards of broken glass.

A mass shank off.

Yeah. And as this is all sort of happening, the girl gets stabbed up as well, by the way, because she comes in, she's like, what's going on? Oh, my God, I'm being stabbed as well.

She gets hit and she's trying to call the police and she gets hit.

And this is how understaffed they are. There's only two people running the whole Old People's Home that night, and they're both completely shanked.

Yeah.

And then a lovely thunderstorm comes in. And we know that means something bad is coming on.

But no, it's also sexy times.

Well, just before the sexy times, I can't wait to talk about this scene. Just before that, Grandpa sees the invitation that he dropped off to him earlier for the wedding, because they took the invitation to him, but they never took him there. I know, sorry. It was Ranky, the leader of the Old People. He sees the invitation to the wedding, so he thinks there'll be lots of young people at this wedding. We can all go and kill. So he leads his army of the old elderly dead.

And if you're getting jiggy, you're not going to notice.

No, you're not. You're going to think, ah.

And if you do, what you could do is you could be like, fuck it. And just carry on.

Also, like the waft of wind as your butt is going up and down is going to potentially cause one of the flames to flick out. No, no, a bottom is curved. How is that?

If your butt, if your ass is really flat, like a big fan, yeah, maybe you're going to get the traction enough to release air, which might actually knock over candles and set a fire, maybe. But most bottoms are curved.

There's a lot of sheets is what I'm saying. Friction.

How fast do you go? You're like a robot.

They start making love, Gav. They start making sweet, sweet pre-wedding love. But while they're doing that, somebody enters downstairs. Oh, hello.

So it's a Frism.

So it's Rinky, the old Rinkly. Rinky the Rinkly. And he hears the sexy music. He pulls a bit of a Bruce Willis name. He looks like he thinks, what can I go and kill him with? He picks up an axe. No, that's not good enough. I know what I'll use. A bed knob.

No, he, yeah. Sarah said he walked past the axe and he actually picked the axe up.

He sort of looked at it. I think he touched it.

Then he's like, no, I remember watching a Jackie Chan movie last night and I'm going to improvise with stuff around me.

Steven Seagal puts on gloves.

He goes out of his way to unscrew a bed post.

And then take his shoes and socks off.

And then, what are you doing, man? Get on with it. And then he takes the post and puts it inside the sock and goes all scr-

Well, it's not a post, Gav, it's a bed knob, isn't it?

A bed knob. And then he goes all scum on them, doesn't he?

Hang on, he puts his knob in a sock.

He does.

Let's do this right.

Knob's in his sock.

I've made notes on this bit. So he takes off his horrible socks and shoes and puts his knob in a sock.

Well, I thought he was going to possibly knock one out when he first turned up.

I did wonder what he was doing.

Yeah, it's just like, is he going to knock one out?

I thought, why is he taking his shoes and socks off? Does he want to be quiet? Has he tipped toes up the stairs? I don't know.

But he wants to show them who's the who's the daddy, doesn't he, from Scum?

Yeah. Well, before we see what he does with his knob in a sock, we have a quick side scene of Kim and Lucas getting home.

Check out Scum for a fun Saturday night movie.

Kim and Lucas get home, they see an old man in the distance watching, and slowly they hear explosions, and they see the village in the distance is on fire. So it's a bit 28 days later in that respect. But anyway, mid-shag, Malik and Sanne are really going for it. Malik, I think Sanne looks up, and she's like, oh, there's an old man with his knob and a sock, bedding. And he brings it down, he beats his knob around Malik's head.

He brings to thunder.

And then he basically beats them both to death with his knob and a sock, while they're in the middle of it. She manages to run a little bit, but he gets them both. And then the rain comes in, the heavy rain, and Ella wakes up in the middle of the night, and she's worried, the power's out. Laura, her daughter, isn't in her bed. And she finds her, she says, Mom, there's lots of people outside. What? She looks out the window. There's no one there.

He's not known for speaking at all, right?

He doesn't really speak. No, not anymore. Not since they abandoned him in the old people's home years ago. But he tries to tell them you're in danger, but only through the piano, basically.

Do you know, when we get old, we'll have little AI robots, anyways, buddies. Absolutely.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. Dan, you have forgotten to take in your tablets today.

Yeah, we will be.

Please remember to urinate. And then give us health checks. Oh, absolutely.

It would be really good. I'd give health checks. That's why our lifespan will be so much more.

Happy 131 birthday, Dan. You have no friends and have outlived all of your family. Great.

I don't think reaching 100 is like a far stretch, you know?

No. The oldest woman in the world is about 130, I think.

Yeah, and technology and AI is just literally just opening up now to like what it can do.

So I'm just going to download my brain into an Alexa or something.

Do it.

And they'll be like, the kids will be like, Daddy, hi, what time is it? Is that what you fucking want from me? I've been dead 10 years. You want to know what time it is? It's 11 o'clock.

Dad, are you downstairs? Can you bring up my jumper?

No, because I'm an Alexa.

I'm an Alexa, I told you. Notification, you've got an Amazon package coming.

Yeah, your jumper will be arriving tomorrow. So back to Lucas and Kim out on the road, and they come across some burning cars. This is quite cool. A bit of production here. Some dead bodies. So he pulls his phone out to try to call the emergency services, but all the lines are busy, which is never a good sign during one of these sort of scenarios. He suddenly sees an old age pensioner running at them. That's scary. Get in your car and drive away, which is what they do.

I tell you one thing we didn't mention. The new wife has her mouth puked into.

Does she? I don't know if I remember that bit.

It's a bit of a new, yeah, she's got a mouth. I can't remember much more about that. Then falls down the stairs.

I mean, that's two episodes in a row now, because the last episode we talked about throwing up into the mouth of that little barn elf, didn't we?

Yeah. Oh, it's when he, sorry, it's when he, the old guy, is attacking them.

Oh, yes.

He pukes into her mouth. And then he chucks the husband down the stairs, or the woman down the stairs. Then he pulls back up, and I was like, is he going to take up to bed and finish her off? Do you know what I mean? Like, finish her off.

By the way, I told Alice your harrowing story about that girl at school that weed on you and then blamed you.

Jane Moore.

She couldn't believe it.

Bitch.

I think she said something like, girls are horrible.

Yeah. I was never really into girls for a very long time. I was a sad little boy. No, I wasn't. I was fine. But I just didn't bother. I was just like, I don't know. Seems like a lot of hard work here.

They're going to be pissing on me all the time. I'm not into this.

Well, some people are into that thing. So it's fine for them, not my sort of thing.

Well, look, there's a lot of creepy old people here. So they send Laura, the daughter, inside, go inside, lock the doors, lock the windows. We'll deal with this. Ella goes over to the love nest to find her sister. She's like, Sana, are you in here?

Sana, Sana.

Dead.

She finds them both dead and naked in bed. And she's got a sock in her mouth. He stuffed one of his socks right down her throat.

And then there's some humming, isn't there?

Oh, Jesus. It's really good visual.

It's an old lady wearing a wedding dress with a knife.

She's just going... And she's really horrible.

Yeah, she's not injured that much more. It's a shame that she's not one of the killers more.

She pops up a couple of times, but it's only a visual.

Yeah, but more than a sidekick.

Yeah, sidekick. The sidekick to Winkley the Winkley. So Winkley attacks. The mum jumps out the window. She's a bit of a badass. She runs back to the main house. Just as Lucas and Kim arrive, they all run inside and they're basically looking for Noah or grandpa. They can't find them anywhere. Ella grabs a gun. You've got a gun. Yeah, I got a fucking gun. So mum's a badass.

Plow plow motherfuckers is what she says in German, though.

Does she? Why?

The plow plow is translated better in German.

Great.

Plow plow. That's more tallying.

For some reason, her and Lucas decide to go outside with the gun. And this is where they see dozens of old people. And she says to them, where's my boy? They see the grandpas there as well. And then someone breaks a window upstairs. Laura runs around to have a look for who it is. And this is where it's attack of the pensioners. They just start crawling in through the windows.

And a big old fella is there, isn't he?

Big old fella?

Yeah, the old, the main old guy.

Rinkly the Winkly.

Rinkly the Winkly, yeah, the dirty pervert, big old fella.

Yeah, he's there. I think Kim says to them, I'm your carer, god damn it. Don't hurt me.

She says, OK, I've never hurt you, and gestures her over to where the older sister is to go and hurt her.

Well, that's the first sign that's something is a foot. That's the first sign, indeed.

A bit cheap.

Well, Lucas and Ella get back in the house.

Mum shoots one of them.

Yeah. Kim is OK, but Laura is being pretty nasty here. And Ella shoots a creepy crawl over it. And she's a creepy crawler, this old lady. Lucas beats another one of them with a poker. And they find Laura being attacked. Ella gets knocked out briefly. Lucas fights an old guy. Ella is awake now, and she brains the old guy. So there's a lot of old people getting smashed, getting their heads caved in here. If that's your bag, then you're in for lots of treaks throughout this film.

Don't worry about it.

Grandpa showed me a good place to hide.

Yeah, but it's good. We know grandpa still has a bit of sanity still in him. Or not of the evilness, that's for sure.

Yeah, and while the family are bonding, so, you know, they're all getting back together with dad.

The excitement's got the asthma going now, isn't it?

It has. So they help him breathe as a family together, and they do that sort of helping. I think they might sing a little bit of a family song together. Like in signs. Yeah, that's what I mentioned earlier. There's little elements of that. But while that's all going on, Kim is very jealous because, you know, she's got her man and he might be hooking back up with his ex here and their kids. And she's watching this really, really jealously. Not impressed at all about it.

Dinner time, bitches.

So, wow, this is a bit like the end of the act now, 28 days later, where it's not so much the infection that you need to worry about, it's the other people who will do anything they can to protect themselves. But Ella wakes up outside, she tries to get back in, Luke sees the key, he runs out, Lucas runs out, this is another harsh bit, and he's like, what's she doing outside? Why is the door locked?

Have you had the bit where all the old people put their arms in? Just like a zombie movie, basically.

Yeah, it's brilliant coming in the door.

Very zombie, yeah.

Yeah, this could have been... Well, it's obviously homage in Romero in some ways, you know, definitely. And Romero did definitely have thoughts on the way the elderly are treated. You know, you can feel that in some of his movies and stuff. But yeah, then we get the old OAPs batter the door down, the bride unties Renki, who, by the way, they've tied him to the oven earlier. Yeah. They didn't kill him, though. And then they set the house on fire. They set the door on fire.

We like a dark, wet, muddy tunnel, don't we?

Ella, though, gets dragged away, screaming. That's bubby mummy. So the kids managed to escape by climbing out of a trap, up a ladder and out of a trap door. And it's daylight.

Yeah, they're really in shock, barely breathing.

You know, and the phone rings. So well, it doesn't ring. Like the signal comes back on and she's got like a thousand notifications, loads of news, state, emergency, state of emergency, as new flash state of emergency.

Yeah, the old phone came.

And we realize it's nationwide. It's taken over the whole of Germany, possibly the whole of Europe. She manages to phone Alex, her boyfriend, and he says, well, let's meet near the monument. I showed you earlier. And then just when we think it's all over, there's grandpa there outside. And Rinke is there as well. He punches Laura, punches a little girl in the face. And he's just about to slit her throat. It's a really heartbreaking moment. She says to her little brother, don't watch this bit.

But because the memory is like, there's going to be certain things, especially songs, music stuff you like or something, that really can get into people. I'm sure it must be people in comas that have music played so much or something their favorite songs must trigger something.

If you watch loads of, I mean, I've seen loads of YouTube videos about dementia where people will not speak for weeks and weeks and weeks, and then you'll play a song from their youth and they'll sing all the words to it. They'll remember all the words to that song and they'll be singing along. So yeah, you're definitely right. And if this old grandpa has got some kind of dementia along with this demonic curse.

But this is pulling him back to reality again.

Yeah. And he kills Rinky with the gun and he seems okay. He says, I love you both so much. We pan across to just the whole country on fire basically. And then we cut to the epilogue really of the voiceover, which is this is happening all over the world. Alex arrives with his speedboat and she says, what we need to do is to learn to love and trust each other again. And Alex sort of decides he doesn't want grandpa to get on his boat. He's an old person. But then he thinks, do you know what?

Well, it's obviously the trust factor is like, you know, like he could still go as, you know, as that sort of thing going on. Did you just look for chocolate and then what one there?

No, not at all.

I thought you were having chocolate disappointment live.

No, I've got lots of chocolate.

I just want to let you could do a commentary on what you're visually doing. Right now, he's making that.

Look at that. But they sail off into the storm, basically implying that although they've escaped this, the whole world is going through this right now, and they're about to they're just getting into the storm, really. And that's the end.

Yeah, I guess it's quite funny. My dad's getting on a bit now. He must be in my mid-eighties. And I should know, sorry. I forget numbers. I'm really crap like that.

How old is he?

I don't know. Maybe 86, actually. And, you know, but he's strong as an ox. And it's just not what I remember as a kid. Eight-year-olds, like, that's for sure.

Yeah, I know, I know. But the other thing this movie is also saying, I think, Dan, is this is like the extreme, much like the substance was like taking it to the extreme with what people will do for cosmetic surgery and body for modifications. This is also like, imagine if old people could do the things that, well, if we could just take back the youth and show them how angry we are about being abandoned.

Yeah, I do like the films that have this sort of let you think about it a little bit, I think, and especially Versatile is this any age, you could be any age and think about old age, you know, you know, it's all, you know. So it's an interesting one. I don't have it as a fear myself, but I enjoyed the film. I thought it was well made, it's a well produced film. There's nothing wrong with it at all, really.

It's got that Romero Home Invasion type thing going on in that they're trapped on a farm and there's a lot of old people coming to get them instead of zombies or aliens or whatever it might be. I've never heard of it. It was very original. Like I said, the winning thing for me is it just looks beautiful throughout really. If anything, you've got to watch it to see Wrinkly Wrinkly put his knob in a sock and beat someone to death with it.

Yeah, thumbs up from me.

Yeah, I really enjoyed it. But now, Gav.

Oh, is that my old helmet?

Yep. I've got it all out the shed, the time machine. So like I say, to any of our listeners that don't know, it's time for us to get the time machine in just a moment. Well, I've cleaned it up as much as I can. There was, unfortunately, there was a family of, well, I don't really know what type of animal it was because they were dead. Well, they were living in it, but they must have died a few months ago because there was just a big pile of mush in the corner.

Yeah. Do you want to touch my helmet?

Yeah. Let me just. Seems to be on. All right. Hang on a minute. Let's just adjust this little bit.

Oh, that's a strange sound. Your strap for the helmet makes an attachment itself.

Right. So there are two seats in this one, so we can sit next to each other unless you want to sit on my lap.

But I don't need to, because it's a bit weird, though, if there's actually two seats.

That's fine, then. I just like to give the option.

What if someone looks in the window?

Well, that may be hard to, because we're about to go into the time tunnel. So if you're ready, Gav, if you're strapped in, if you just want to press that button there for me. Yep. Now that one over there. Yep. You ready?

Go for it. What's this machine?

This is my time machine.

Your time machine?

Yeah.

For the next five minutes, we are going to be the Time Team.

The Time Team.

Look at that.

Look at that.

Look at that.

Look at that. Oh, my God. Look at that. It's something else.

Wow. Here we are. One year ago.

That was... I never, you know, it never gets easier.

It gets harder.

Going through the portals of time has always given me an upset dicky tummy.

Gives you an upset dicky?

Upset dicky tummy.

Yeah, so wow, what a year 2024 was.

Rubbed my tummy.

Not now, when we get back to 2025. Now, what we'll do is then, guys, listeners, what we usually do is we just have a quick round up of the year. What was going on in the news, things to note. Then we talk more about what films were out, and then we end with the horror films that came out for that year. So this is 2024, last year. So we've traveled all the way back here to tell this. We could have just Googled it, I guess, Gav, actually thinking about it.

You could have done.

I will. So this year, well, I'll start with January. Jeffrey Epstein's Associates were revealed in court documents.

But the public didn't know, no?

We don't know, no, we don't know.

It's ridiculous.

Ridiculous. Speculation of people like Stephen Hawking, Michael Jackson, Prince Andrew.

It's just such a ridiculous... Do you know what I hate about everything? All the elite people and all this stuff and all these things, all these people doing stuff. Don't bother. Just have a nice day. Wake up in the morning, have some eggs on toast or something like that, egg or bacon or something. Have a nice day. Go, what am I going to do today? I'm going to go for a swim. So I like going for a swim. Then I'm going to drive that nice car I've got.

Why?

Why?

I forgot how passionate you get. Let me go back in time and talk about things that we can't control anymore.

No, just the elite.

Yeah. Well, there were some cool things that happened. We discovered an ancient lost city in Ecuador that was about 2,500 years old. Suggest the presence of a very, very large society, maybe even larger than the Aztecs. So that was quite cool. So they're starting to dig through that name.

Yeah, it's great. We are like recently, and we had those longest dinosaur path of tracks dinosaurs. And there's literally some other dinosaur gone over the other way. There's like an X, like a footprints, because it's crossed over after this one's crossed over. It's footprints has crossed over. And then those footprints have been kept for millions of years. It's like, what the fuck?

I know. It's so cool to see a dinosaur footprint.

We're discovering like new shit all the time now. And with AI, sorry, I know I bring up AI, but with that advent and just the way technology can discover and identify stuff, identify things, it's going to be amazing. Yeah, we're going to discover some crazy shit.

It is.

I, sorry, very quickly, tangent, the other night I was kind of paid and I was getting some deep shit with AI. I was asking ChatGPT, will AI be able to give us real evidence of Jesus' existence? And that's not on anything. I was just doing this as a weird question. And I'd only just kind of got on it and I was going back and forwards and I was getting kind of deep with it. Then it just said, you know, that you've run out of free ChatGPT, because I don't have them in the main one.

Well, our King Charles was diagnosed with cancer in February. He's recovering as we speak, as we record this in the year 2025. But obviously currently we're back in time. Believe it or not, Greece only just legalized same-sex marriage in 2024. Isn't that crazy? Well done, Greece.

We now have tape cassette.

The Ordisus became the first private spacecraft to land on the moon. Private. You know, next it will be like, where do you want to go on holiday? The moon? Yeah, why not?

What a waste of money and time.

I was thinking that the other day with all these fires going on in LA, and then you've got the rocket that's been taken, is it Bezos' rocket? It's like, dude, pull the plug on that and pump all your money into helping put these fires out. But instead, you just want to go up into space with your friends. Yeah. Come on.

It is absolutely a simulation because it's too ridiculous to not be.

Yeah, must be a simulation, you're right. Absolutely. Taylor Swift became the world's first musician to become a billionaire, just from songs and concerts.

Yeah, she's a rich lady. She has a very business sense crew behind her, that's for sure. She has a whole tour bus which is just filled with merchandise.

She has a fleet of tour busses, just t-shirts and bracelets with her, isn't it?

I don't know nothing. OK, I probably know a song of hers, maybe.

You'd know a song or two of hers.

Sing me a song.

Uh, I don't know. Shake it off, shake it off, shake it off. I might be wrong.

That's all I know. That's it. That's all I could tell of her back discography.

But New York and New Jersey were struck by the strongest earthquake in over 100 years. 4.8 magnitude earthquake was felt across New Jersey and the New York metropolitan area. Nature fights back. Do we leap her? Have you heard of her, Gav?

Yeah, some reason, yeah.

She's a singer. She's up there. She's not quite a Taylor Swift or a Beyonce, but she's up there.

I love being in this sort of old man territory now, where I'm just kind of like blocked off from anything. And I just ignore the world apart from watching old reruns of 90s British sitcoms.

Well, she was voted one of the top 100 most influential people by Time magazine.

Cool. Good for her.

That's good, isn't it?

Brilliant. I'm glad she's having a great day.

Great day for her. Excellent. OpenR AI's newest version of Chat GPT, which is called GPT-4 Omni, went live in May last year or 2024, boasts unprecedented capabilities, including enhanced contextual understanding, multilingual proficiency, making it a significant milestone in AI development. Apparently, 2025 is the year that AI gets more intelligent than us.

Yeah, I think it's already there.

Lovely. That's lovely to know, isn't it?

Keir Starmer, which if you don't know, is the Prime Minister of England currently, he did a thing on News just yesterday, saying a speech about AI, how it's implemented into everything and how families, everybody should use AI constantly all the time.

Yeah. I mean, I've been using quite a while.

I don't use it daily, but it's going to help in a lot of ways.

You know, my wife uses it daily at work. I use it now and again at work. It's not is integral to my job right now. No, but my new job might be. There is some news that happened in May, which is going to really contrast to something that happens at the end of the year. In May, Donald Trump was found guilty of 34 felony counts of falsified business documents. However, jumping to the end of 2024, he would have been acquitted of all of those and also be elected new president starting in 2025.

Yeah.

See, that's weird.

I think that's weird. Weird.

Julian Assange, the WikiLeaks founder, finally free after a 14-year legal battle. So he spent the last five years in a high-profile London prison. So Julian Assange walked free after all of that, after leaking all of that information. Trump was back in the news in July.

Oh, yeah.

Someone tried to assassinate him.

And this is what Elon turned Elon Musk on to him. He thought if he could just do that, he is the person you need to as a leader.

And there is conspiracy that this wasn't a real assassination attempt. Someone was paid.

There's a conspiracy for everything that happens now.

There's a conspiracy that you were going to say that.

There's a conspiracy that there's a conspiracy that there's a conspiracy.

I've heard there's a conspiracy about that.

No, that's not. That's a conspiracy.

Now, only a week after Trump was shot in the ear, Joe Biden fucked up a lot. He called...

Oh, is that Vladimir? No, when he said Putin, didn't he?

Yeah, he did. He's got a few bits and bobs wrong. And eventually decided, you know what? I'm just going to pass everything over to Kamal Harris.

Yeah, we're not a political podcast, but...

Now, that whole Putin thing was awful.

Just the fact that...

It'd be like, hang on.

Surely you want people in their 40s probably leading the country. Like, would you not want something like that? In the 50s, I suppose, you've got enough time, you've had enough experience to work your way up and know stuff.

I think 50s.

But still young enough and vibrant and energetic enough to go, right, this is what we need to fucking do. Let's look around at where we are, rather than, old Pete, so weird.

At least don't call Zelinsky by his enemy's name in front of the whole world.

Just so weird.

Whole world.

I don't understand why they have younger people.

So old Kamala, she got past the torch and she had a few months to do what she could.

Surely that's some sort of form of corruption. The fact that they won't change it or it's not changed.

Yeah. But don't worry, Gav, because in July, Snoop Dogg was happy.

Obama wasn't too old, was he? What was he like?

He was one of the two youngest. He was in his 50s, I believe, to start with. He was one of the two youngest.

I suppose, yeah. But that should be sort of what, I don't know where it gets us. It must be like we're driving. Like, no, you can't drive now. You're just hitting all them car's mirrors as you go along, because you have no idea the size of your car anymore.

I know. And him and Trump are both ancient. But don't worry, Gav.

Trump does mentally seem to be, well, I don't know, depending on his choices, but he does seem to be at least competent. He's not like getting people's names wrong.

He's not competent. Well, yeah, I'm saying, Gav, he said live on air, could we inject...

I'm not saying his choices, I'm saying just that he can speak.

He made fun of a disabled man. Oh yeah, he did, didn't he? He's done a lot of bad things. He told everybody to beat somebody up at one of his rallies.

He's done a lot of stand up comedians, really, isn't he?

Listen though, in July, Snoop was happy. The whole world was happy because Snoop was so happy in Paris.

The Olympics, yeah.

He was at the Olympics, he was at all the events and all the gear. He went to the volleyball, he went to the equestrian. He was just having a great time in Paris. I never thought I'd see so much footage of Snoop Dogg at an Olympics event, but it was there. Yeah, and he absolutely loved it. He even got to carry the torch for a little bit. Not saying what he used the flame for, but...

Smoke weed every day.

I can imagine he did that. So there we go. What else happened? We also got a Storm Boris hitting Central Europe. Look at old Storm Boris. Caused lots of flooding and terrible destruction across Europe. Norway became the first country in the world where electric cars outnumbered petrol cars. Norway. No way, dude. Sad, sad times in September of 2024 as the brand Tupperware went out of business. Oh, they've been running for 80 years. Fuck me.

That anyone can make it.

You don't. No, no, no. You don't need to buy it again. Once you've got some Tupperware, you don't need to buy more from Tupperware.

That's why after some point in the 80s, the high fare of high manufacturers went, shit, we're making too good. Start making stuff. It breaks in a year.

Mexico got the first female president. The world's longest treasure hunt ended after 31 years. In this year, 31 year treasure hunt for Francis famed Golden Owl finally ended with the discovery of the owl. The hunt began in 1993 when, this sounds like a movie, when Max Valentin Hi, I'm Valentin.

Max Valentin.

published the book containing 11 clues leading to the location of the Golden Owl, which he buried somewhere in France.

Did he?

The finder of the owl won a sculpture of Golden Owl over.

That is a movie. There's a dude who's just like, right.

Max Valentin.

It's like, it's really fucking just eclectic and eccentric fucking guy. He's just like, right. I've got this golden. I fuck it. I'm going to write a book, published a book and in that book is going to be the clues to where it's buried. That is so good.

That's like a damn brain.

That's a movie. No, it's more fun than that.

More national treasure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think you could do it more fun actually. More like Mouse Hunt, is it?

No, you mean Mouse Trap? No, the one where they run around the world.

Yeah, that sort of thing. That's a comedy type one.

Yeah, another one you mean. Another one you mean. Donald Trump was re-elected as President of the United States.

Also Trump going on.

Beyonce received her 99th Grammy nomination.

There's so many things about Beyonce where they say like, obviously conspiracies, where they say like, there's a thing where everyone has to, because of the power of the couple, of Jay-Z, she has to have a song. Everybody has to go, oh yes, oh yes. I don't know why, but like, there's some really weird shit going on with Beyonce.

Yeah, well, no, it's strange.

It's not really about her. It's about her as an object for others, and she has to, it's weird.

It's, without getting into it too much, it's to do with her, Jay-Z, P Diddy, and a few of the others that run this strange devil-worshipping contingent. Network thing going on.

Yeah, it sounds weird, and I always thought the devil-worshipper stuff is obviously a load of bullshit, and then you're like, oh, there is an island where Peter Foles go.

Yeah, sadly, there is actually some sacrifice.

It's really weird. Yeah, and it's why they're trying to keep it out of the public eye for now, as long as they can, because it's quite disturbing some of the stuff that I've read, some of the things I've heard. But yeah, talking of Corruption Gav, in December, President Biden said to his son Hunter, Don't worry, you're pardoned for any crimes that you've committed over the last 10 years.

Yeah, he just pardoned people who have probably given him a hand out.

I'm about to stop being president next month. So what I'll do is...

Pay me for pardon.

And Google unveiled, you're like this.

Should you? Why? Hang on. Why should a president pardon people?

Well, it's normally...

Presumably, that was set up for people who are... Where you look at it and go, hang on, the system has fucked up here and failed, which is a quarter of something. And it's a show where, like, hang on, you're giving it to people who can start being corruptive with it and just do it for bad reasons. It's just... It's the whole system is fucking rigged, isn't it? The whole human system is rigged by cunts.

It's because he's about to stop being the bit boss of America.

So he's like, bollocks, everything or anything to do with money is bollocks. When people realize that...

That is the quote, guys.

When people understand...

No.

Even if you got a Lamborghini or a fucking piece of shit car, they both get you to the place you need to go to.

Yeah, but you look cool in a Lamborghini.

I know. And it's like, but it's nice to drive them. Yeah, I'm sure it is. But at the same time, at the end of the day, come on. It's bollocks.

I was watching something with Kevin Hart earlier, and there was a conversation in it about a watch called a Rolex Submariner. And they're very expensive. And I thought, I wonder how much they are. And I looked at them up.

It's a watch.

$140,000 watch.

It doesn't slow time.

Well, talking of slowing time, Gav, in December, Google unveiled the quantum chip.

How much was that watch? Or it didn't pay attention to you?

$140,000.

Yeah.

So Google unveiled a quantum chip in December that completes 33.3 trillion years of calculations in half a second.

It's very clever, isn't it?

Yes. It's called Willow, the new chip, and it's one of the largest- One of the largest technological breakthroughs of 2024. People are actually saying that it breaks the dimensional barrier because it can basically do- Now, you wouldn't probably remember this, but in one of the Marvel films, Doctor Strange looks at every single level of the multiverse at once to find out what's the best outcome for Iron Man.

Oh, cool.

This is what this does. This will basically cycle through, as I've said, 33.3 trillion years worth of calculations in less than a nanosecond, and tell you the best outcome or the best answer. This is scary stuff.

Combined with AI.

Scary stuff. Absolutely scary stuff.

Yeah. I hope the world's ready for it.

Well, let's hope so. That's stuff that happened other than car weather has passed away. Rest in peace, car weather has passed away. But now, let's move away from just the general pop stuff and let's talk about films and what was out. Films that were the biggest films of the year. We'll talk about general films initially. So the film of the year was Inside Out 2.

Yeah, I watched it.

Is it good?

Yeah. Have you seen the first one?

I like the first one. I haven't seen the second one yet.

Second one is when she's a teenager.

Yeah. I understand it's very good for people that watch the first one and grow a bit older and relate to anxiety.

Yeah. It probably would work with the people who watched the first one like that and went to that.

So that was the number one highest grossing film of 2024. Number two was Deadpool and Wolverine.

Which I saw recently and enjoyed.

Yeah, it's really good. Number three was Wicked.

Which you watched recently and enjoyed. You did. You did.

Number four was Moana 2, which I went to watch with my kids at Christmas in the cinema.

I've not seen that one.

Then Despicable Me 4, weirdly.

I rented that out for Elijah recently. We both enjoyed it.

Then Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. No, I don't have anything to say on that.

No.

Okay. I really enjoyed it. Then Dune Part 2, then Twisters, the sequel to Twister. Then number nine was Godzilla X Kong, The New Empire.

Yeah, I saw that one. It was all right.

And then another animated film in it, number 10, Kung Fu Panda 4.

Oh, I watched it literally two days ago.

You've seen a lot of the top ten, though.

I was like to Charlie, I was like, that's my eldest, who's 18 in a few months. I was like, do you want to watch Kung Fu Panda 4? Because I looked up the first one and they happened to be one. And I was like, we used to go to the cinema when you were little. And so we watched it. And it's funny, is my other kids weren't really bothered. And I just came in a little right halfway through. It's nice that Kung Fu Panda's dad is still voiced by Big Trouble Little China.

Oh, I thought it was Jackie Chan. He does one of the voices, doesn't it?

Guy, which is kind of cool. Low pan.

So the interesting thing about the top ten is only one film, Wicked, is the only film that's not a sequel.

Yeah.

And most of them are animated. And then just a few other ones off the top. Bad Boys Ride or Die, Son of the Hedgehog 3, Kingdom of the Plant and the Apes, Gladiator 2, Venom 3, Ghostbusters, The Frozen Empire. Completely forgot that was out. Alien Romulus, which we both really enjoyed. Red One, the Christmas movie, which I really enjoyed or watched over Christmas. The Fall Guy, Wanka, Nass Buratu, some of these, you know, The Beekeeper, which I know you're a big fan of.

I think they're doing a second Beekeeper too.

They are indeed. I've read about that today actually. Because there's a trailer, guys, for a new film with Jason called Working Man, where, get this, this is an original plot. He plays an ex-Marine.

Who, who, who, who, someone who he's connected to, who he likes and he's nice with and he's not horrible with, he has a good old laugh with, is picked on for whatever reason. And he's like, right, I'm not having that.

Well, his boss's daughter is kidnapped.

Okay.

And he's like, well, it's alright.

But it's like, if I will watch that 100% and sit there going, yes, because it's the movie, like, I like those movies. You know what you're getting. I look forward to when we do Taken at some point.

I love Statham so much.

Yeah. You know, I love those films.

So here's just before we get into like the top, real top ones of the year.

Very quickly though, the Beekeeper, if you haven't seen it, it's just really, it's really these movies, like revenge films in a way. But it's like when you get a guy and he's getting back at the bad people, you're like, yeah, Beekeeper is the best though. It's a internet scam place. And it's not really spotted too much. It's a catalyst for what happens. He pretty much just turns up with a load of fucking tanks of fuel. And you're just like, yeah, get those scammers.

And I don't mean this in a derogatory way at all, but Jason Statham has really filled that void that Chuck Norris Van Damme's a girl left.

He's doing that thing still, absolutely.

Because you used to get a Van Damme movie, where every movie was just Van Damme doing what Van Damme does, but in a slightly different plot. And that's the same with Statham. The girl used to do it, Chuck Norris used to do it.

That's why I think he's welcomed into the Expendables crew, because he was like, you know, he's like new blood sort of thing. Even though he's not now, but he's not really old, but he's still kicking ass and doing those movies. And I love those films.

And he makes the bold man look fantastic.

It's the Bruce Willis thing, isn't it?

When my hair gives up the ghost eventually, and I reckon I've got another five years, so maybe when I'm in my early fifties, I'll go full Statham.

I know I'm growing my hair again now because I finished filming Amanda. So yeah.

Me and you will be full Statham one day. Well, look, here's some of the movies that you should have watched, horror movies you should have watched in 2024. You've got Abigail.

Yeah, not bad.

I loved it. I loved it. Long Legs. I'm not sure what I think of it. It just creeped me out.

Yeah.

Yeah. Quiet Place, Day One. Did you see that?

It was on telly. My eldest was watching it. Jodie was watching it the other day. And I kind of watched a bit. Not really. I don't really care for them. Not interested.

Salem's Lot, a remake.

I didn't see it.

I've heard it's quite good. Heretic, which you did see.

Yeah, which is starts off pretty good, but I felt, yeah.

Immaculate, which I've heard great things about.

I don't know.

Sting. I really enjoyed Sting, the spider movie set at Christmas. Well, set during the snow. I don't think I saw it. The Pope's Exorcist.

Not seen it.

Which hits Netflix next week. Oh, I can't wait to watch it.

Finally, Buzz, rest in peace. His recommendation I can watch. It's the last movie you've read. Last one.

I remember him talking to you about that, actually.

Yeah, he recommended that to me, and I was like, oh, watch that. So, Buzz, I'm gonna watch it.

He would have watched that at Fright Fest, I should imagine them.

I don't know.

Smile, too. I wasn't a big fan of the first one, so I probably will check out the second one. In a Violent Nature. I did like it. I did like it. I just wanted more from it. Have you not seen it?

Yeah, I know what you mean. The POV movie. Yeah.

Yeah. Lisa Frankenstein.

Oh, God. I had to watch that shit.

Oh, really? Was it any good?

No. OK, no, no, don't do not watch.

Do not watch the first Omen.

Not bad.

It was all right, actually, wasn't it?

Hands out vaginas.

Yeah, I was pleasantly surprised. Maxine, the third and final film in the Pearl Trilogy. I haven't seen that one. I really liked the other two. I haven't seen Maxine yet. What have you seen, Maxine? Alien Romulus. Brilliant stuff.

Yeah, I didn't mind it.

The Strangers, Chapter One.

I didn't watch it.

And I probably won't. Although I've heard it's all right. Apartment 7A. There we go. Under Paris. We both enjoyed that, didn't we? Sharks.

It's silly, but yeah, you know, what do you expect?

Sharks under Paris. Good stuff. Imaginary. I've heard it's absolutely terrible about the teddy bear that's got a mind of its own. And talking of absolutely terrible, The Crow was probably the biggest bomb of the year, horror-wise. Everybody hated that film before it even came out.

Well, that was just going to happen. It was a bit weird that it still kept going ahead eventually. It was always trying to be pushed through. It went through so many people and it's like, weird. Just don't bother.

Winnie the Pooh 2 Blood and Honey.

At least not Winnie the Pooh 2 Blood in Your Pooh.

If you were experiencing...

Go to the doctor...

blood in your stools, then contact Winnie the Pooh. . The movie that everyone is absolutely raving about, and I'm not a big fan. I've only seen the first one, Terrifier 3. The first one, I didn't think much of. Maybe I should go back and revisit it, and maybe watch then 2 and then 3. But 3 was like, everyone's been going crazy about it. Did you see it? Do you like the Terrifier movies?

I don't really like clowns movies, do I? So I haven't seen any of them. Stop clowning around. I did say Sarah, I hope she don't mind me saying this. I did say that, if you're doing like a role play, so I could laugh.

Oh, God.

Not as sexual as a laugh thing.

What?

She went, I kind of like the look of the clown, sorry. Okay.

Wow, Sarah.

She's now messaging me. Why did you say that?

We also got VHS Beyond. We got Howl Hole, the opposite of a Glory Hole, Howl Hole.

Depending what your kink is.

I guess, I guess. And...

Howl Hole, so what were you saying? Could be like sandpaper, could be... Barbed wire, could be... Yeah, cheese grater. Metal cheese grater, cook shaped cheese grater.

We got Trap. Shyamalan was back with Trap.

I heard very, very, very bad things.

I've heard good things about it, which is strange. Oh, I don't know. I guess we'll just have to check it out.

Very bad things. Very, very, pretty much across the board. So I don't know where you're getting the news.

Night Swim. There's another one that people were talking about.

Haunted Swimming Pool.

But what we'll do now is we'll just go to good old Rotten Tomatoes, just to sum up what the sort of top 15, what they say are the top 15 horror movies of the year were. Okay. So number one, I haven't mentioned it yet actually. The number one rated horror movie of 2024, according to Rotten Tomatoes, is Late Night with the Devil, which I have seen and I did really enjoy. We'll be covering that at some point, I should imagine. Yeah, good film.

No.

Okay.

Don't think so.

Heretic is really high up on their list as well, as is Stop Motion.

Picked it up on Blu-ray and a charity shop the other day for a quid.

What?

Oh, £1.50. Wow. Well, I've not seen it yet.

Very highly rated by The Rotten Tomatoes, and I just want to talk about it.

The director actually was in Farnham recently doing a talk. I didn't get a chance to see it.

Well, we weren't going to do a review of 2024 without me talking about this. The Substance was his number 12 highest rated horror movie by Rotten Tomatoes. Substance for anyone that hasn't seen it is, in my opinion, and I'm still going to stick to this, the best horror film of the century, in other words, of the last 25 years, honestly cannot think of a horror film that I've enjoyed more than The Substance since the 90s.

That'd be my film of the year.

But it's also my best horror film of the last 25 years. Speak No Evil was another one that people talked a lot about with James McAvoy. Yeah. I know there's an original, which I don't think I've seen.

It's quite nice. When you reel off lists of movies, it's quite nice because at least over 50 percent of them are seen in the cinema.

Yeah.

It's pretty good actually. I'm quite proud of myself.

You're doing well.

Not for sponsoring the cinema, just for the fact I'm getting out to watch them in the cinema.

I think it might be the last film I saw in the cinema, was The Substance, actually. And I now own it. But there we go. That was horror in a nutshell, I think. If you were going to grab a handful of horror films from the year, then I'd probably say, weirdly, I'd say obviously The Substance, but I'd also say grab a hold of maybe Long Legs as well. That came out in like early 2024. So it could even be Glasses of 2023, but it was sort of early 2024. If you just want something different to watch.

I'll just borrow your copy of The Substance then.

All right, I'll let you have that then.

All right.

Let's do it. All right. So there you go, guys. 2024, Gav, get back in here.

Oh, my seat is still warm. Strange.

That's not your seat.

Whose is it?

That's the- don't worry about it. I'll explain it to you in the time tunnel. Right. Are you ready? Yeah.

Okay.

Steady.

Strapped in. Have you seen the group chat? They're doing it again tonight. Light the candle to open the door. Blow it out to close it. Put your hand on it. Now say, talk to me. Talk to me.

What did the hand feel like?

It felt amazing. I could see and feel everything the other side. So my mom, she was trying to reach out. Mom. I'm here. Still been saying stuff. You mean saying stuff. What if we open the door but we didn't shut it? Oh my god, they followed us.

I like you.

They're not gonna stop.

They're never gonna stop. TALK TO ME.

What do you want to hear?

TALK TO ME.

Oh.

THE NAME OF THE FILM. From 2022, rated R. An hour and 35 minutes. R for Pirates.

Whoa!

Wow. When a group of friends discover how to conjure spirits using an embalmed hand, they become hooked on the new thrill until one of them goes too far and unleashes terrifying supernatural forces.

Would you hold the hand?

No fucking way. Would you?

No, not really.

I wouldn't trust people to get me off of it after 90 seconds.

It just doesn't seem good for the body anyway, really.

No, and I think this is an allegory for...

Drugs?

Drugs. Yeah.

Absolutely.

At a party.

And I don't know the guys who do it, the directors, the brothers, they're like, ADHD. But I've seen them on an interview, and they are ADHD to the max.

Danny and Michael.

Fucking bouncing off the walls, both of them.

They got famous because YouTube videos, where they just made it look great with good practical, good CGI effects.

Oh, that's what they do. I didn't know what they did.

Yeah, they can do some great stuff on YouTube. And yeah, that's how they got big. And then they got to make a film.

Well, that's good. I guess they learned how to make films in a certain way. Obviously, they had a proper crew department underneath them doing the jobs at hand at this. But this is a pretty well-handed, director-wise film. It's handled well.

It's directed really well, in my opinion.

For a first-time movie, it's pretty good, actually. I think the performance is getting exactly what you want from people. It's pretty good.

I think, in my opinion, this is up there as close to a sort of a Sam Raimi type movie that we've had a long time.

Yeah. I'm glad that these kids through YouTube are basically a cable TV, the Wayne's World, et cetera. Do you know what I mean? In a sort of sense, it's classing YouTube as cable. But the fact that you can just put your own content on it, and then you go ahead and get movies from it. And they're not the only people, other amazing things happen to YouTubers. But it's such a crazy world we live in now, where that is us, it's general people being out there.

Yeah. And they're very passionate about keeping everything Australian because they're Australian. This film is set in Australia.

If they do a different film next or they will do a universe of this.

They are making a sequel to TALK TO ME.

Okay.

But they have said that they will try to predominantly keep any films that they make set in Australia and remakes of their films have to be set, at least have the practical effects done in Australia. So, they are trying to keep it there as much as they can. And what I will say is, because of that, all of the actors and actresses in this are people I don't think I've ever seen in anything, which I really liked.

Yeah, she's not bad.

She kept my eyes on her every scene she was in. Just good performances all round, really.

Yeah, totally. I'm a big fan of Australian cinema. I love what they do. Yeah, it's a pretty decent film. This is my second time viewing it. I've got to admit, though, this time viewing it, because I knew what was happening, it felt like a lot of talking between things happening this time round, which I noticed because I knew what was happening. I was waiting for those. Oh, that's the cool bit, because when you take away this movie, it's the whole hand thing is the cool thing.

So you're waiting because you've already seen it.

You're waiting for the deaths and the things. Yeah, which is kind of like, I guess, waiting for Jason to kill.

Because this was my first time, I didn't obviously notice that because I was getting all the backstory, exposition, the build up of the characters.

It felt like, it was like, ah shit, they've been talking for a while. And I kind of just kind of drifted off a bit of what they're talking about. You know.

Now, what this film does really well for me is it does throw some shocking sort of things in, because although, yeah, okay, there is some talking, some backstory and exposition, then suddenly you get something pretty horrific happen. And again, it's a really interesting look at a take on what the new generation, younger than us, are doing with social media at a party.

Isn't this New Zealand? Sure, it's Australia.

Yes, Australia. Oh, okay. What's really interesting is we never had social media or camera phones as kids. Thank God, because we all did silly things. You know, we're almost 50 now, but kids these days, if they're at a party and they do something stupid.

Dude, I was thinking about this the other day, and it's just sorry to cut you off, but I'm just going for where you're going to know what you talk about, the shit that we would have done if we had cameras.

I know.

I'm so happy. It's like, yes, A, you might learn from that, but God damn, like everything you do is there, everything.

Yeah. And that's it. And these, but what that also does is, and it's really demonstrated when the kids are sort of filming each other while they're having these demonic possessions. They're all laughing because that's what sadly some kids are like. When they see a kid getting beaten up, everyone just pulls up their camera phone. Yeah. And that's a real interesting look at that. And hopefully the younger generation will at least get that.

No, no, no. They're not going to think that at all. You're hoping that they're going to think that, but they're not going to even contemplate anything.

Because at 16, I didn't really give a shit.

Well, they'd be just putting it in front, going, ah, look at you, you twat, and filming it and kicking them as well or whatever.

Yeah. And I'm surprised, Rachel, she mentioned the foot sucking scene, but I'm surprised she didn't mention the dog kissing scene because, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

Gets in there.

He gets right in there with that tongue. But again, that was all special effects. We'll talk about that scene when we come to it. So it's an A24 film as well.

In Sonic 3, Jim Carrey really likes another universe Jim Carrey, Dr. Robotnik comes along with us, really cute. Oh, no, it's not. It's... Deadpool. When he's kissing the dog, what he really likes, and just lets the dog carry on kissing, you can see that he was probably improvising a lot of stuff, and it was like, Oh, man, that's disgusting. That really ugly dog.

Yeah, he's the ugliest dog in the UK. He won the ugliest dog category.

It's amazing. So ugly, so ugly.

Yeah, Ryan Reynolds really gets that tug in his mouth.

Yeah, really does.

Oh, Ryan. Anyway, this is an 8.24 film as well, I should mention. And it's one film that I heard loads of people talk about, talk about, talk about. So it was on my list. So I was really excited when Rachel said, I want you to cover it. So here we are covering it. So let's get into it. We open up with a party, one of many parties we're going to go to. And this party looks like it's been going on for a bit of a bit of a while now.

There is a weird party because you got you got like the mum there just in the kitchen cooking stuff. All is this crazy party. It must be her house. I don't understand. It must be her house. Is she going to tie it up and she's just like, yeah, I'm just going to do a bit of catering for these people over there. It seems very unrealistic.

Everyone's there. There's kids.

I think, I think take the mum out of it, can tie it totally and just not have the mum there and just walk past. It didn't need to have the mum there.

It's not just like the parents were there.

Yeah, it's weird. Really weird.

But we've got Cole, who is the brother, and he's walking around trying to find his brother, Dunkel.

He's looking for someone. Dunkel?

Duck it. Sorry. Duck it. No, is it Duck it? Duck it.

I've never heard of a Dunkel.

Yeah, sorry. I don't know why I said that.

But if I can, I'm going to change my name now to Dunkel. Directly by Dunkel.

But Duck it is missing his brother, and he can't find him anywhere. And he's going around everybody frantically. And I think it's a Warner that they did this as well. It took them quite a long time to do. There's three secret little edits in it. But...

Oh, I didn't know it was there.

Yeah. So they... He's wandering around. He can't find his brother. He's upstairs. I think he's upstairs. And his brother is upstairs, locked in a room. And his brother's obviously having some kind of episode or something. We're not quite sure. But obviously, they filmed this three times because they had to break that door down three times. So, Kyle breaks the door down. Everybody pulls their camera phones out, of course. And he finds his brother with loads of cuts all over him.

Well, they haven't pulled the phone out yet until he starts walking through with his brother. Yeah.

And he starts walking through the party and he's just like, put your phones away, what's wrong with you all?

He just stops in the kitchen, just like saying, what are you all fucking doing? And then all of a sudden, his brother out of nowhere, just fucking stabs him in the stomach.

He just grabs a knife, stabs him in the stomach, and then stabs himself through his own eye.

And it's like, whoa, okay.

That's about three minutes in. And you're like, okay, wow, this is what we're gonna get.

But interesting, but yeah.

Yeah, and then we meet Maya or Mia. She is a very sad, introverted girl. We find out that she's got a strained relationship with her dad. We find out it's because her mom passed away. We don't know much about it at this point, but we will come back to that and learn more about that. She picks up Riley, who is the younger brother of her best friend. And they drive along singing that song, Chandelier, together.

It's a bit of a staple of horror movies, though, isn't it? It's always like some roadkill. I think at the beginning of that, there's tons of movies where we have to stop, there's roadkill, and it sometimes means something, sometimes means fuck all. And then later on, they're dreaming it and they can hear the deer, woo, whatever, dying.

Even in Texas Chainsaw, the little armadillo at the beginning.

Yeah, it was like a roadkill.

Well, they stop the car and they get out and they're like, well, we better kill it and put it out of its misery. She can't bring herself to do it. She tries to run it over.

Is this, her mum got run over, yeah?

No.

No? What does this symbolize in? Fuck all.

It's symbolizing that she can't bring herself to follow through or accept the truth.

It's quite often it means fuck all.

And later on, spoiler alert, symbolizing the fact that she is going to become roadkill as well.

Okay. Her mum.

There is more to it than just fuck all, I promise.

Yeah. Her mum was in Lord of the Rings. I was like, what shit, Gav? How do I know that face? I seem to know it like really well a part of me. In those Lord of the Rings movies.

That's not her mum, but yeah, the mum of her best friend.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. So Mia tells her friend Jade, Jade, the mum is the one that you mentioned, about the room, and she was like, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. And we find out that, you know, Jade and Mia have been best friends for years, but her mum, Jade's mum for some reason, doesn't really like Mia very much. She asks after her dad and asks how she's doing, and she feels sorry for her because she lost her mum, but she doesn't really trust her.

He knew when he turned up that his name was Dan. So he was be able to get in to the party.

What do you mean?

If your name is not Dan, you're not coming in.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Brilliant. And we find out that the reason that these parties are so popular, these little parties that have been happening is because there is a hand. And the hand is brought out and put on to the table.

So apparently it is an actual hand. And it's been coated, isn't it?

Yeah, coated in ceramic. It's a cursed hand that was cut off of a possessed person. This is what they say. And it's linked to, like, ancient Aboriginal spiritual things, because one of the boys is like an Aboriginal boy. So he's kind of, like, tells... He's sort of got a bit of a hazy backstory about where it comes from. All he knows is, basically, you have to be tied to a chair for your own safety and the safety of everyone in the room. Then you have to say, talk to me whilst holding the hand.

Because someone must have, it must have gone past them. So then someone must be out there with a demon. Or they've been told that by someone else. We do need to say, possibly, we do need to say when they turn up, the main lady in this, is it Mia? Is that what you said?

Yeah, Mia, yeah.

She's not completely liked by the lady who's quite man, lady?

Well, that's the they.

A they person.

That's why this film is banned in some countries because the actor is non-binary. So this film is banned in some countries that won't allow that, weirdly.

Okay. Yeah, they're a bit hostile towards them.

Yeah.

They turn up like fucking hell.

Yeah.

Fucking babysitting you every day and all that sort of sniping stuff. It makes her feel a little bit isolated. But anyway, this game comes out and it does bring them all together because they're all there for the same purpose as entertainment. Everybody get your phones out. Who wants to have a go? Roll up, scream if you want to go faster.

And Mia basically followed them all from exactly what you just said. She thinks, well, if I go first, people will like me. I'll be accepted into the group.

It's one of those things, I'm going to make a really bad joke right now, but I know people will like it, even though I don't really want to say it or something, you know, which I've done in school. I did that to try to make friends and I said, I'm not going to repeat it to my music teacher. It was rude.

Oh dear.

It's about music and fingering because she's teaching piano and playing, but I'm not going to say.

Go on, say it.

I say, can I think of a name? Could I finger you? And she was probably like 70.

Wow.

Put my hand up in class and said it. And I said it, I said, no, no, I don't want to say it, but I know everyone's going to laugh and it makes me more liked.

And what did she say?

Oh, I don't remember any of that. I just remember everybody laughing. So she didn't say yes, then job done. Oh, Mrs. Wilson, as it was, she's quite old. She didn't let you tinkle on her ivory, then proper old old lady Peter Fowl and that be, you know, fantastic. Yeah. Anyway, weird conversation right now.

Well, anyway, she says the talk to me. I let you in, Amaya, and an old man appears in front of her. It's really good creature effects here. And she starts laughing possessed obviously, manically. It's quite a creepy scene here. She points at a corner of the room and says, there he is. And there's no one there. And then a door shuts and they're all filming it like, whoa, because they're all used to it. They've seen this before these kids.

She looks at her brother and says, they like you.

Yeah, they like you. And later on, like that's going to be very evident when Riley, sadly, Riley will end up in hell later on. So that's why she says that to him. And then they can't get the hand off of her as they get into the 90 second mark. So they sort of have to pin her down on the floor. And she's going, run, run, run, run, run.

Is this then we're saying basically, this is the catalyst of what sets off her being possessed and seeing stuff more to real? What point does she die at all?

When she gets run over by the truck.

I know, a silly question. But I mean, at this point, this must mean something, though. Having it for longer. They said, don't do it. She's going to have done it. So this must mean something. What happens? Well, what happens is that she's not shutting it down. She's opening it up more.

Yeah. And also later on, she'll become possessed, not possessed, sorry, obsessed with the fact that she might be able to talk to her, her dead mum through this and her dead mum is kind of tricking her because it's not really her mum, it's demons.

Which demons? Which we've seen demons do before. They like to trick you.

Yeah.

Just a demon, ladies and gentlemen.

Basically, they want Riley. For whatever reason, the demons through this hand want Riley, the young brother, and they're going through Maya because she's just very susceptible to it, I guess. I don't know. Anyway, they managed to get the hand off of her and it's all kind of over and they all have a good laugh about it. And later on, that was good when you got possessed at that party, wasn't it? Normally, it's like, remember when you threw up all over the bath, Dan?

I did like, here, this is the Lord of Rings mum, and I did like the fact she's going around trying to trick the kids into saying who, if there's a party. I saw, right, she told me it was a party. What, what times are you going ahead? There's no party, mum, what are you on about? Don't worry about it. She told me it's fine. And I love, keeps going back and forth. I love it.

That's very good. Well, that's the next day. So just before that, the end of the day, where they've just had the hand, we see the aftermath, which is that Riley, the brother, is quite scared. What he says to his sister, can I come into your room? And she's like, no, you can't come into my room. And he goes downstairs when Maya is sleeping on the sofa, and he's like, can I lie next to you for a little bit? And she's like, yeah, yeah, that's fine. And he says to her, how did it feel?

Demon party.

Hey, guys, we're having a demon party. Daniel comes over to Jay's house and this is the party bit now. Really cleverly done, like you said. She's going around everyone. What time is that party that's happening tonight? And they're all like, what party? Don't know about a party. It's really cleverly done. I understand why you like that. And then she says, during this bit, she says, by the way, Daniel, you better not be having a party tonight. And if you are, I need to tell you something.

And he's like, I was watching this with Sarah and I was like, I'm fully going to say that.

My daughter's vagina is prohibited.

Just to really just make make your children cringe.

And then they've got a two hour window where mum's got to go out. And the second she steps in the car and drives off, it's party time.

Yeah, but it's not really the same sort of party though, is it?

No, but everyone's drinking and she's like, you shouldn't be smoking here. My mum's going to smell it. I've actually written here, it's hand time.

That could be a different type of party.

Do you want to come to my hand party?

Go sit in the middle and his hand's coming out. And what happens? You wait and see.

Have you seen Sigourney Weaver's chair in Ghostbusters? It's like that, but they're all wanking you.

Sir Horny Beaver.

You know, they talk a bit more about the hand at this point, and they say, we think it was the hand of a medium, and it was severed. We don't know where the rest of him is, but inside the ceramic is a real hand, and it's got loads of carvings all over it. And Daniel, Jake's boyfriend, says, I'll take a turn. So this is where it gets quite gross now. They tie him up. He holds the hand, and he says, they'll all talk to me, let me in, and they're filming him.

Yeah. And then he really is choking, isn't he? They're like, leave it. It's all right. Leave it. Leave it. Jesus.

Well, while he's choking, one of the characters says, this spirit is a cunt. It's like, wow, you just let him. That's all you've got to say. But anyway, he gets all horny towards Mia, his ex, we should say, because he's with Jade now, and apparently him and Mia flirted with each other once in the past. And he starts humping the floor, basically, probably to completion.

I reckon he's got wet pants.

And then, just when you think humping the floor to completion can't get any worse.

Yeah, and the worst thing is, though, this is the terrible advent of technology and everyone's filming it. This is the shit, this could be the example of what someone's like when they're really, really drunk and they're going to do something really bad and everyone's like, oh my god, they film it. Then, like, once they realize the next morning, it's all over their social media and it's them doing something really bad. Oh god.

Recently, in the UK, there was those boys that were sniffing or breathing laughing gas and driving the car well over the speed limit and they killed loads of people.

Oh my god.

They were on TikTok as they were doing it.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, it's awful, really. Sort of thing does happen, sadly.

Yeah.

Well, anyway, Gav, what is the worst thing than humping the floor that can happen? The dog walks in the room.

Yeah.

The dog comes over to him. Starts licking his face. And what does he do back to the dog?

Gets in there with it.

He's really giving it a kiss.

He's just like, oh, gives a kiss.

Now, apparently how they did this was he had to lick like a, he had to kiss a prop or something. And then they got the dog and then they composited in a shot of the dog licking a tree.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

They didn't actually go for it then.

No, no, no, no, no. And then they managed to get the hand off of him. And the first thing he says, as you would say, is delete it now, delete it.

Exactly. It's what I'm saying. It's just, it's not good.

And then Mia says, well, I want another go now, but this time no cameras.

Why would you think that's the time to go, well, if he had that experience, I want to see what I'm going to kiss.

What am I going to get?

Let me know. No, let afterwards, ladies and gents, let's just get me going.

Well, they decide this is now a bit of a montage now of them all taking turns with the hand. And it's a bit like Flatliners, that movie that everybody loved from the late 80s with Julia Roberts and all those guys, which I actually think is very overrated. I rewatched it again recently and wasn't really into it.

I saw it once and I wasn't really into it. And I'm pretty proud of the fact that in my youth, I've watched some movies at once. Recently, I watched High Spirits again with Steve Guttenberg.

Oh yeah.

Watched that, went, yeah, bland and boring movie, really, which I thought when I first watched it as a teenager. So, yeah.

Fair enough.

Yeah.

Well, during this montage of them all taking turns with the hand, which sounds worse than it is, guys.

But very surprised by the cast members in that movie.

High Spirits.

Yeah. Loads of people in it. It's like, what? That's so weird.

I quite enjoyed that film.

Yeah.

But during this montage, it becomes apparent that they're all getting really addicted to this sensation. And it's almost like a drug. It's like they're getting high. Mia makes things in songs. There's a whole montage of all the different possessions from all the characters at the party. Riley pipes up, hey, can I have a go? No, you're the little brother. Absolutely not. Please, I just want to be like all the big kids.

And it's definitely drugs, isn't it?

Yeah, well, it really is. It's like, let me just do one line.

Yeah.

Let me do half a pill. Let me have one little drink of vodka.

The worst for this, though, is entertainment for the others.

Yeah.

As well.

So he says, I'll do it just for 60 seconds rather than the 90. No, everybody says no. And then for some reason, Mia pipes up with, go on, let him have one go just for 50 seconds. Yeah. All right, then. So they tie him up. And it begins. And he instantly is, what we think is possessed by Mia's mum. He turns to her and he says, Mia, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I miss you so much, Mia. And she's like, oh my God, it's my mum. Goes a bit wrong, though, there, Gav, doesn't it?

What is he doing with his head there?

He's smashing it on the table, mini on time.

Oh, he just goes off on one, doesn't he?

Yeah.

He starts seeing it so hard, yeah.

He's smashing his head on the table. And then he stands up and pulls his eyeball, tries to pull his eyeball out with his own fingers. And they can't seem to get his hand off of the hand. Mia is catatonic in the corner while this is all going on. She sees a woman in the mirror with no face, potentially her mum.

He tries to put his eye out, doesn't he?

Yeah, with his own fingers. And then we cut to the police arriving.

Yeah, that's like the midpoint of the movie where it's just all gone bad.

Yeah. And the kids all give statements. They phone Jade's mum. What do you mean he's in hospital? Yeah, he kind of had a bit of an accident at this party.

How do you do that? And what was he on? I can't tell you. But all we've got to do even a cop just got to go and look on social media and go, this is the new exciting thing. This is really popular. This hand thing. Let's look into this. Even though I don't believe it and do some slight bit of research and detective work.

Also, the mum said to them all, you better not have a party here. We won't. We promise. All right. Next thing she's getting a phone call saying your son, your baby boy is on his deathbed in hospital.

He's mentally like had issues now.

You know, well, it's worse even just how he looks. I mean, when we see him later on, he's fucked up. Absolutely fucked. Yeah. So Mia goes to home and her dad's waiting there. And he gets what happened. So I don't want to talk to you about it.

Yeah, this is where I got a note saying this is where it felt like it now started to get a bit dull and dialogue heavy.

OK. I liked this bit now because we see that Riley is on life support and his mum and his sister are there. And the sister's boyfriend, Daniel, arrives. And this is where Mia starts to suspect that maybe her mum killed herself and it wasn't just an accidental overdose. And when you see Riley's face in the hospital, bearing in mind he smashed his face repeatedly onto a table and then tried to put out his own eye, he looks absolutely... The effects, the makeup effects are so good.

Well, it's great if you say these guys are into their effects. Having those guys go into it is great to have them start directing the film because they're going to use effects.

And Jade's mum says to me, you gave him drugs, didn't you?

Yeah.

And she's like, no, I didn't give him drugs. She's like, well, I know you smoked weed once.

I still think it'd be too hard to cover this up. You know, if this is real, someone else is going to get wind of it as soon as soon, even in the press. Do you know what I mean? It's just not too hard to cover something like this up.

Well, they all blame Mia because she's the one who kind of egged him on a bit. I said, go on, let him just have 50 seconds. And obviously it went well over that. I went to like two minutes while he was smashing his face in.

Yeah, a really long time. He's fucked.

So Daniel says, look, I'll drive you home. I'll drive you home. And she says, do you want to stay at mine tonight, Daniel? And he's like, I shouldn't really because, you know, I'm with Jade now and she's like, I just don't want to be alone. And he's like, yeah, all right. So they get back to her house and they talk about whether it was her mom or not that was in the hands speaking to her. And they seem a little too close.

This is what Rachel likes.

She likes, like, This is apparently what she likes.

Toe sucking films.

I don't know if that's true, Gav.

I don't know, I don't know.

She may block us both and become...

Send us a postcard, Rach.

Of what?

Yes or no? Just that. With a little toe drawing.

Well, it turns out that this is all a dream, because Mia is actually sucking Daniel's toes. Imagine waking up to this random... Well, she's not random, she's your friend, but she's sucking your toes.

Yeah, I don't know. It depends what your relationship is like, I guess.

The first thing he says is, what the fuck? And she goes, they followed us. And he's like, what? And she goes, oh, sorry, I don't know why I'm doing this. They followed us. Somebody was sucking your toes. There's a woman in here. And he's like, it was you. What the fuck are you doing? He gets his clothes on and he leaves. She stands in the mirror and slaps her face a few times. Like, what am I doing? What am I doing? She decides it's time to go.

Oh, fuck, drum roll.

She decides I'm going to go. Hand solo.

It's very good.

Because she wants to do the hand on her own. So she grabs it because she's got the hand in her bag. They're like, somebody look after it because the police find it fucked. So she goes, all right, I'll do it on my own then. Talk to me. I let you in. And she sees her mum.

Silly doesn't it itself though.

Yeah, because how are you going to pull out of it after 90 seconds? Oh, hello.

Scent of priest.

How are you going to pull out after 90 seconds, Gav? Nine seconds.

I don't know. Just pull.

So, she sees her mom when she's under, and she says, did you kill yourself? And she says, no, I didn't. Riley needs your help. Riley's in trouble, he's in a bad place. And she's like, what the fuck? And Riley's mom, we cut to Riley's mom, washing him in the hospital. He's completely fucked up. He's not speaking.

He's sort of comatose, yeah, yeah.

And when he comes around a little bit, becomes a bit conscious, and immediately, the first thing he does is just start smashing his head into the tiles until there's just blood pouring out everywhere. And then he starts licking the blood off the floor. And the nurses come in and they have to restrain him and knock him out again. And it turns out whenever he comes around, becomes conscious, he starts taking chunks out of his own arms with his teeth or smashing his own face in.

Well, someone like that is going to be sedated and put into a hospital, aren't they?

Yep.

And that's their life.

Awful. Outside of all of this, the kids all catch up with each other. And this is where they explain about Riley keep trying to commit suicide. Maya tells everybody, look, I keep seeing ghosts. Has anybody else seen ghosts? Because I think I've seen my mum. Um, and it's revealed that Duckett, the guy from the very beginning who stabbed himself through the eye after stabbing his brother, he was the original owner of the hand. And his brother Cole is still alive. Let's go talk to Cole.

We all know that. Why didn't they know that?

We all know about the candle.

You know, you got to say goodbye.

Bye bye, demon.

Yeah.

Door shut. So therefore, technically, they think they've left the door open. So they tell me, all right, OK, what you can do. And Jade agrees to this is go to the hospital, use the hand on Riley while he's in a fucking coma and then destroy the hand. Once you've sorted him out, destroy the hand. So hospital, Maya, Jade, Daniel. My mum's gone out for an hour. Get the hand out on the table, put it in Riley's hand, light the candle. A little girl appears on the bed.

Yeah.

And she says to the little girl, I let you in. And she says, is there a boy here? And she says, he's in limbo. He's in a bad place.

With loads of naked old men, it looks like.

Well, it's hell, isn't it?

Yeah, it is hell. A lot of old naked men. It does look like he's been used around.

Oh, God. Well, apparently, this scene was about three minutes long in total, and they said it was too much and they trimmed it back to like 15 seconds. 20 seconds.

Yeah, you only need a flash of it. Oh, Christ.

I don't need three minutes of hell. It's like, oh, thank you. I feel like I was there already. So she realizes he's basically trapped in hell, which is why he keeps trying to kill himself every time he wakes up. So she tells Jade what she saw and she gets home and for some goddamn reason, this is a bad time. He doesn't know it. But Mia's dad says, sit down, Mia. I need to tell you the truth about your mum.

But she doesn't really believe it. She already thinks it's bullshit and he's not turned to because his her mum's come to her from the other side. And so it's corrupting her.

The demon is corrupting her. Yeah, it's not actually her mum. I don't think I think they're pretending to be her.

Yeah, it makes sense.

And he says, I hope you forgive me. And she says, well, it's not true. And she goes to her room and the ghost mum appears to her. Not really her mum, I don't think, and tells her, that man out there is not your dad. He's an imposter. And he's going to hurt you. He needs to die. So she's now starting to have some, because she did it on her own and no one was there to take the hand off her after the right amount of time and the candle and all that stuff.

So where's demon dad just come from?

It's just a figment of her imagination, because it's the demon in her head, telling her that she's being attacked. And then when her real dad breaks the door down, because she's lying on the floor, seemingly choking, she then stabs him in the net, her real dad in the net with scissors.

That comes too, yeah.

That's bad, man.

They've kind of groomed her into being a killer.

Yeah, they have. They've demon groomed her. Demon grooming.

Demon grooming all night. And a Saturday night.

Hey, baby, you want to go demon grooming with me on Sunday? Groomy demons.

That's where we persuade people to kill their family members.

Hey, just hold this ceramic can.

Do it, son.

In the morning, considering she's stabbed her dad in the neck, Mia calls Jade.

Hello.

Good morning.

Bonjour.

I know what to do to save your brother. Just come right into my house. But it's a trick to get her out of the hospital.

Indeed.

Because mum finds Mia in the hospital room and they have a quick chat. She says, look, I'm so sorry for blaming you, Mia. It's been a lot going on, as you can appreciate. And she says, that's OK. Don't worry about it. Could I just have a few minutes alone with Riley? And her mum's like, yes, of course you can. Not a problem. Leaves her off. And she sees Riley as a weird demon woman, and she says, right, I'm ending this. And the demon woman says, no, he's ours.

But then we do cut to expect him to kill. It's not. She's taking the boy out of the hospital in a wheelchair.

Yes. Because mum comes back in and says, where the fuck is my son? And where's the girl that was in here? He's in a coma. Where is he? I don't know. The hospital is terrible. I don't know. He was here somewhere. I don't know where he's gone, mate.

I don't know, mate.

And Mia is pushing Riley in a wheelchair towards a very busy highway full of oncoming traffic. And I was watching this thinking, well, they've already killed loads of people in this that I didn't expect. Is this going to be like a hereditary sort of head smash type thing that I wasn't... Are they going to drive him into the traffic? What's happening?

To be fair, it's putting him out of his misery.

And as she's about to... Yeah, fucking hell. Jesus Christ.

Well, he's not having a good time, is he?

I mean, he's not, but...

If I... Dan, look, I'll give you permission right now. Everybody, give me permission now. If I get like this, get rid of me. I'm a waste of space and time.

If every time you wake up, you just start smashing your head into the floor.

What is the point of living? Just get rid of me.

Podcasts would be shit.

Get rid of me. Take some of my hip hop records I've still got. You'll like them. You're getting something out of it.

The podcast would be awful. It would be me going, right, he's awake, guys. This is episode 100. Stop, stop, stop. We'll start again next month.

No, it's going to be bad. You're going to have to do all the editing.

That's going to be shit then, isn't it? So basically Mia steps to the edge of the highway with this little boy in a wheelchair. And as she's about to step into the traffic, her ghost mum appears behind her, puts her hand on her shoulder and says, Well done, Mia, I'm proud of you. And then we get the point of view of just a couple in a car driving along. And then suddenly they smash into somebody, swerve, swerve, swerve. And we see him in his wheelchair on the floor and Mia.

Yeah.

She holds the hand and she's the demon at a party that she's the POV. She's the demon. It's her POV. I didn't see this coming. What a great twist.

Yeah, I saw it coming.

Really?

Yeah.

No, the first time around, you didn't see that coming.

Not like early on, but when we got to that point, it was like, oh no, she's...

Even if you figured out 10 seconds before, it's still a great twist though. Come on.

I don't think it's a great twist. Her then being the person that they're calling isn't a great twist. It's like, yeah, that's kind of...

Why not?

Because that's kind of like, that's not a far stretch thing to do. It's kind of like, yeah, if she's died, she would be then called.

Yeah, but it's her punishment.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. That's got, I suppose in that sense, yeah, it's quite cool. I just think it's not that inventive, but it's all fine. It's, it's, it does the job.

I think it's great twist. Cool. I wonder what they're going to do with the sequel, whether they'll follow on from her, you know, trying to get out of this demon realm.

I don't think it'd be totally different.

Yeah, which would be weird. But I really enjoyed TALK TO ME. I thought it was really well acted, really well shot. And considering it's aimed at the YouTube tweet, Twitter slash TikTok generation, I really enjoyed it and liked it. And actually as an old school horror fan, I enjoyed it. And I can see the influence of the two brothers that directed this. Obviously heavily influenced by Remy and some of those movies like Evil Dead.

Yeah.

Thought this was really good.

I thought it was solid. Definitely very solid first time film.

Out of the two, I highly recommend TALK TO ME. I give TALK TO ME an 8 out of 10 actually. It's one of the better films I saw seen in the last year or two. And I give old people like a 6.5 to a 7. But I highly recommend TALK TO ME. It's a ceramic thumbs up.

Well done. I would say it's a thumbs up if you've not seen it. If you've already seen it, watch something else.

And like Rachel said, they're both on Netflix UK now. So if you want to check them out again or watch them for the first time, and you've got Netflix, easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Indeed, indeed. Let's come back for the outro.

Enjoyed that. Thank you, Rach. Bye.

Cheers, Rach.

Bye. And we're back again.

We're back again to say goodbye, I'll be the same, sayonara all along.

I do apologize, Rach, I forgot to give you the crown.

Oh, good dammit. There's a shiny crown for you. Now we're taking it off again.