The podcast on Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing.
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work. I saw this when I come. And be one of us.
Hello, and welcome to the Podcasts on Haunted Hill, episode 165. My name is Gav.
My name is Dan.
We welcome you. Lovely listeners.
If you're a regular listener, welcome back.
And if it's your first time, welcome front.
And if you're just popping down again, welcome sideways.
Or up and down, or inside out.
It's become our new catchphrase over the last three or four episodes, and we are embracing it.
Yeah, I'm getting Dan to start off those because I get confused. My brain can't...
We like to change things up a bit, don't we?
Are you all right?
I'm very well, thank you, my friend. It's spooky season. We're in October. Yeah, we're almost halfway through October.
Yeah, I'm watching horror all the time. I started watching the past couple of days, Ash vs. Evil Dead Season 1 again.
Yeah, good stuff.
because sometimes I like to include my 31 as a season. And it has been the Flanagan ones, like Midnight Mass and stuff like that. And obviously, there's not one out this year. So it's first time in two or three years. He hasn't done one. Yeah, three years, because it's a hell of a house or whatever they call it, or the other ones. Yeah, so doing that, which has been quite fun, actually, because it's quite enjoyable.
I remember that show being quite enjoyable until, I think, he goes to a mental asylum or a psychiatric ward or whatever it is, I think, or something in it. I just remember being bored of it. So anyway, first season is quite fun, though. Have you just been watching lots of horror and stuff?
I have indeed. Yeah, I've been getting in the mood. Got some pumpkins around the house for the kids. It's great having a couple of three year olds because they're really excited for it. And it also ties nicely in with my son, who's potty training at the moment. So his reward is every day when he gets back from nursery, if he's got some stars on his potty chart, then he gets a Halloween tattoo. And as you can see from my arm every day, he's had Halloween tattoos.
So me and him and Edith are covered in little tiny Halloween tattoos, which is fantastic. Not real ones, listeners. Don't worry, I'm not sat there with a needle tattooing my three year old son. They're really temporary. So that's exciting. And lots of Halloween sweets and junk food. And just getting really in the mood for it. And yes, I've been watching loads of horror, as I mentioned on our last episode.
And I'm going to be mainly watching Universal Films, starting in the 30s, finishing in the early 50s. But I'm also, for the first time, watching some Simpsons treehouse of Horror episodes. So we'll talk more about that at a moment. Before we do, just I know that everybody knows what we're doing. But Gav, it's a special episode. It's a special Patrons Pick episode. And Holly Matthews is our Patron, Queen Patron with the crown on her head for the episode.
She, being an Irish lady herself, has chosen a couple of Irish comedy horrors for us to have a little, have a crack at, as they say in Ireland. Yep. The wee crack. She has chosen Extra Ordinary.
In other words, the wee crack could be totally different, couldn't it?
Yeah, don't do the crack if you're in Bristol. Yes, we're going to be looking at Extra Ordinary, which originally came out on Netflix in the UK, 2019. I remember when it came out. I was like, oh, wow, check that out. It looks great. And I did enjoy it. And she's chosen it. So that was my second watch for this episode. And she also chose one neither of us had seen called The Boys From County Hell from 2020, which has led me down a dark, dark, vampiric rabbit hole of Irish fangs.
We'll get more into that later. But yeah, so a couple of Irish comedy horrors, very different to British comedy horrors in some ways. There's a lot of heart and very sort of down to earthness about them. Not like You're Shaun Of The Dead, which is a little bit more cartoony. You know what I mean? But these are a bit more sort of almost real. You could feel like it's a bit more down to earth. So I'm really excited to talk about these two films.
Yeah, and Holly and I have been chatting briefly, so I'll read out a few snippets of our conversation. She hasn't had time to send us, you know, an essay or a long email, but that's absolutely fine. She's got a lot going on, and I hope everything gets sorted out for you soon, Holly. But yes, so that's what we're doing on this episode. Bill Murray is here, excited. He's got some Irish vampire goodness for us to talk about in World Of The Strange. But back to October.
Gavin, yes, it's been an exciting start to the month. So I've watched 15 episodes now of The Simpsons treehouse of Horror. I've not seen a single one of them ever. I always assumed that the one where they become the Thomsons, which is Cape Verde, I always assumed that was the treehouse of Horror. It's not. That's the whole episode apparently.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think like there's a recently, there was a whole episode and that's not a treehouse of Horror. They're just doing the whole thing.
Yeah, well, I'm going to watch that as well. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to watch that too.
It's funny, you messaged me saying, Oh, the black placement is so funny. And it's just I'm just like, yeah, it's a part of my DNA. The stuff when you messaged me and say, Oh, so far, I'm sorry. Yeah, because it's been so ingrained in me, Simpsons, like most people who've watched it growing up, it's a part of them. So when you say stuff like that, I'm just like, yeah, because I'm just like, I still don't, my head doesn't understand that you don't know that world.
I mean, I do, I do know the world, but I've only ever dipped in and out of it very briefly.
So it's so funny when you messaged me and I'm just like, yeah, he's hilarious.
I was into The Simpsons when it very first came out in the late 80s. On the Tracit Bookman show. I sort of, by the mid 90s, I wasn't really paying much attention to it really. But what's funny as well is when I've been messaging Gav, obviously saying, oh, this bit was good, and I like that joke and stuff like that. But he's like, yeah, I'm glad you're finally catching up on 20 year old TV. I said, no, mate, I'm finally catching up on 35 year old TV.
I realize that because I was like, oh, no, that's a long time ago.
But yeah, no, I'm really, really enjoying them.
So when I was like 12, 13, I started watching them, and we had Sky TV, so they were on Sky 1 on a Sunday evening. You had a double bill at 6 o'clock.
We never had Sky at home.
So I was just on it, and I would record them as well. So yeah.
We had, it was on BBC 2 eventually, in the UK, like normally. And so I'd watch that and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air usually.
I remember it was really delayed, because I had Sky. Not being that, but because I had Sky, then you see the BBC 2 ones, you're like, they're really old. Well, you could tell because the animation goes better, you know, as it does, and it gets more advanced and stuff. But you inspired me. It's me and Charlie have been going through them as well, because at Disney, it's on the Halloween playlist.
Yeah, it's brilliant that they've done it. So for anyone who doesn't know-
They always do. They have done it.
Yeah. Well, I noticed it last year, which is what made me think I might do it. So for anyone who doesn't know, on Disney+, if you go to their Halloween section for this year, for this time of year, they do that, as do Netflix and a lot of streaming platforms. Within that, they have put- It's very clever, actually. They will suggest things for you. They will put all zombie films in one category, all vampire films in one category, vampire TV shows in one category.
Whatever you want to watch, you can find a way of watching it. They put all the Simpsons Tree house Of Horror episodes into one playlist, so you can watch them just individually plucked out of each season. And they've done it even, like, if you go to cartoons, it will just pluck the Halloween specials from, like, Scooby-Doo, justice League, whatever it is you're watching. It's really clever.
Not Scooby-Doo. That's not Disney.
Well, no, but that was an example, like Marvel stuff.
Yes and no, because the Family Guy one, I was like, OK, cool, put the Halloween specials up. But one episode is a scream something or other. It's not Halloween at all. It's about Craig Myer's sister being in an abusive relationship, being beaten up by a boyfriend.
I don't think they've done really many Halloween episodes on Family Guy.
But you don't put that up just because it's a scream in the title. That's their AI just doing it.
Is their AI?
Well, that's perfect. Can I start watching again? Well, yes, domestic abuse is horrific, but it's not a Halloween. It's not, I think, oh, trick or treating this year. I'm going to go as a domestic abuse person.
Hey, Gav, what subgenre of horror are you into? I'm into subgenre of domestic abuse.
Yeah, so I think I need to have at least someone curate it once it's been plucked by AI. But anyway. Indeed. But yeah, I've been watching stuff. I've been getting in bed watching Hammer movies. My list's all right. I'm kind of at the same date it is now with them. So I should make 31, I think. I've been watching a lot of the Dracula's that I've not seen for since I had them on VHS as a teenager. And at the time I was like, whatever, because I think I felt the Hammers as a teenager.
When you start discovering new horror coming in, the Scream and all sorts of hammer was a bit like, it's only in the past, I'd say 20 years or so or whatever. And especially nowadays, I'm more refined in my gentlemanly self. I find the Hammers just such a comfort blanket.
Yeah, they're great.
But going back and watching the Dracula ones, which I hadn't seen since then. And there's one that I was like, I just really enjoyed it. Taste of Blood Dracula, really enjoyed it. I'd actually have to taste the blood of Dracula, hence the name. I really enjoyed it. But then the next one on, Dracula's Wrist for the Grave of Heat, wasn't very good. Yeah, it's a bit like, oh, that's a shame, because it's weird that there's this up and down rollercoaster of the Hammer Dracula films.
Like The Pritzker Doctor, really good. Then you get another one that's not as good. Yeah, but I've been watching them.
That's what I love about the 31 Days of Halloween, 31 Days of Horror. For me, it's not about watching 31 films, because I always go way over that. It's more about the last few years, filling in the blanks of things I haven't seen. So I did the Hammers two years ago, and I did, there was quite a few I hadn't seen, especially towards the end.
Did you find that Dracula quality was a rollercoaster?
Yes, I did. Yeah, I did.
Was that the same with the Mummy films? I think last year, I actually did a lot of the Hammer Mummy movies. Did you find that of them at all?
Yeah, the Frankensteins are the ones that probably...
Sorry, Frankenstein, not Mummies.
Yeah, the Frankensteins are the ones that are probably a little bit stronger throughout.
Yeah.
It is as silly as they get towards the end, like Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell. It's still actually quite enjoyable. It's more actiony, whereas the Dracula ones are a bit more slow. I'm doing the same, obviously this year, I'm doing Universal, and there's quite a lot I've not seen, especially with the sequels. So I've already done a couple of the Dracula sequels. I've got to say, Son Of Dracula, sorry, Dracula's Daughter was incredible. Oh, I didn't really like it.
Son Of Frankenstein was incredible.
I think that's all right.
The Invisible Man Returns, that was Vincent Price's first film, and that was really good. I've only watched it so far, I've seen 17 Universal films, and there's only been about two or three that were a bit like meh.
I met Jack's daughter, I found it quite boring. It had lesbian tones too, didn't it? It was very early lesbian tones. It was very ahead of its time really.
I know that the quality is going to drop off though, because at the moment I've gone through all the 30s, and I'm almost into the mid 40s now, and I know once we hit the late 40s, early 50s, apart from the creature from the Black Lagoon, there aren't going to be many strong ones. But I'm still excited to watch all the sequels, all the Invisible Man sequels, I've just never seen most of these. So I've seen most of the Frankenstein ones and the Dracula ones, but yeah, there's quite a lot.
The mummy ones get a bit boring as well.
Yeah, I last year actually picked up the Wolfman Legacy DVD collection of Universal. So it's all the Wolfman films. Unfortunately, a couple of them are just not brilliant.
I watched Lon Chaney's first, Lon Chaney Jr.'s first film today with Universal, which was called Man-Made Monster. It's only an hour long. And he made it the same year as he made Wolfman. because it did so well. And it's about a man who gets electrically charged and he starts glowing, and he can like, electrocute you by touching you. But at the end, it becomes too much for him. He gets caught on some bonfire and he just goes... But it's just all right. But yeah, I'm really enjoying it.
And I've already done about 35, if you include the episodes of The Simpsons. So I'm not really worried about the numbers. It's more about just getting through my lists really. Yeah. Exciting though, and we do love Halloween. Thank you all to everybody for posting up what you're watching. It looks like you're having a lot of fun as we plough through the month. And like me and Gav, certainly me, but Gav, hopefully you, we always try and save our favorites or the best till the last day. So yeah.
I will mention, let me see, I've done 11, so I'll say some standouts very quickly.
Yeah, please do.
I quite enjoyed watching again the Blair Witch Project.
Yeah, it's great. The original.
Yeah, only 74 minutes that movie. If you take the credits, because I was watching because I'm just finishing up a Deadbox new found footage film. So I was just kind of watching that. I really enjoyed watching Kill List again.
Yeah, we covered that, didn't we?
Yeah, that was really good. And yeah, I quite enjoyed watching Identity last night.
I know you're a big fan of that one. It sounds like you've been having a fun month because you're not putting the pressure on yourself and you're just watching stuff that you know you like.
Yeah, because my second one is Hell house 4, Hell house LLC 4. And that wasn't really planned. I was just like, well, I want to watch some found footage movies because I'm in the throes of making found footage. So I'm towards the end of it. So I'm just checking out other films, the dynamics, how they work. Yeah, so I watched that one actually. Now, as I was watching, I realized I had actually already seen it when it first came out. It's better than the third one. It's that third one.
I remember that ending being ridiculous, but this one's totally different people going there. And it's not too bad.
Yeah, the ending of the third one really ruined it.
ridiculous, wasn't it?
Yeah.
The fourth one actually kind of pulls it back. It's kind of like the Paranormal Activity movies, you know, except I like most of those films. But yeah, that's it. I'm not going to go for all of them.
No, no. I mean, I'll do a couple of quick standouts from what I've seen so far, stuff that surprised me and stuff that everybody probably knows is really good. I mean, Pride Of Frankenstein is still my absolute favorite universal horror film. It's just so emotional and amazing and beautiful. And I'm a big fan of Frankenstein and Frankenstein itself. The first Frankenstein movie is probably my top three as well. So two Frankenstein movies in my top three.
But the other one that I know we covered it a while back, not that far ago, The Invisible Man is just so ahead of its time and the effects are still incredible now. And he's so deranged, The Invisible Man, that it's a joy to watch.
That first film was really good because we covered it. And I remember really enjoying covering it as a reviewer, because you really got to go, facking out this guy is loopy. He's a criminally insane person.
But other movies, there's two that I hadn't seen before. Island Of Lost Souls, which is the original Dr. Moreau story, that was really, really, I cannot believe, well, it did get banned and it was just, it's really dark, man, what they're doing to these people. And that was really, and that was 1932. But that blew my mind that that was so good.
That was, and the other first time watch that, I've already mentioned Son Of Dracula and Dracula's Daughter, but the other first time watch that I really, really enjoyed was The Raven. Yeah. Didn't expect that to be as good as it was. And there was, again, it was almost, well, it kind of was banned. It wasn't released for about 20 years in a lot of countries after it came out because it involves so much torture and just a deranged man is killing people for the sake of it.
Bela Lugosi is just brilliant in almost everything he's in, isn't he, really? Bela Lugosi is great. Like with Hammer, you know, you've got your Christopher Lee and Peter cushing and other people that you know you're going to get in your Hammer film. It's the same with Universal. You know you're going to get your Lon Chaney's juniors. You're going to get your Bela Lugosi's, your Boris Karloff's. You love seeing them playing these different monsters and characters. And it's just, yeah, it's fun.
I'm really enjoying it. And I recommend doing it one year if you can be bothered. It's fantastic. Although I know you've seen a lot of them, but it's just a lot of fun, mum.
I do like to just watch other Halloweeny things as well. So I actually came on Prime, which is not bad, which Mark Gatiss made for BBC Two a few years ago, three one hour shows.
Yeah, like a documentary.
One called Hammer and then one about Universal and then one with folk horror and going sort of into them and just stuff. They're on Amazon, actually. So I watched a couple of those, just keeping me in the horror thing. And also I found a YouTube channel. I would give it a shout out. I can't remember what it's called. Cobwebs channel. I think it's called. Pretty cool. It's just the guy's got a ridiculous, this American guy's got ridiculously huge, like film collection just behind him.
And he's got loads of like things like The Tempest, which movies and he's just pulling it all out. So as a nerd, as a collector, I'm quite happy like, oh yeah, I'll subscribe, you know. So that's quite good. So just been doing that stuff as well. cause I like to just absorb all the horror around me.
Yeah, those Mark Gatiss is a great.
Yeah, they're fun.
I did enjoy those. I wanted more of them, to be honest with you. But yeah, no, the same here. My kids are, I'm giving them pumpkins and Frankensteins and werewolf toys. I can't resist it really. Almost every two or three days on my way to pick them up from nursery school, I end up popping in the shop to get a loaf of bread, and I spot like a key ring, and I'm like, well, Jack would like that werewolf key ring, and Edith would like that zombie key ring, and they do, and they're really into it.
So whether that's weird or not, I don't know.
Not really. Buy stuff for your kids, and your kid's a bit free being into pretty much anything. Isn't weird either. It was nice to see your children.
Yes. So the other exciting thing that's happened recently is I had a visit from Gav in the flesh. That was so lovely. So Gav came to Bristol for the day and...
I had a rare moment of not working, not with the children, not spending time with Sarah. I was literally a Sunday with nothing to do. And I had movies and a Blu-ray player, excuse me, to give Dan and I'm moving. And I can't keep moving bloody stuff for Dan from house to house. It's like, right, what are you doing?
He also gave my children loads of books, which they loved as well. And yeah, we had great time. We went for lunch, then we went to the park, just had fun, chilled out, really. It was nice to not be with you. It was nice to be with you and not just have to record or talk about the show for once.
It was only a few hours, but we just chilled now and I popped home again. I popped, it was at 100 miles, but I popped over. But it was good to just pop down and say hello to you guys and have a cup of tea and just chill out.
Yeah, it was fantastic. And the only other thing really, the only other film I wanted to mention before we get into chatting about Holly and the Patreon Bix is, I watched, I don't know if you've seen it, Troll from 2022 on Netflix.
No, I didn't see it. Scandinavian?
Yeah, I believe Norwegian. It feels like a sequel to Trollhunter. And it's kind of exactly like that, but not fine footage. And it's about this, you know, a troll, but basically, and they're hunting it down, and the government of it, and it's great, fantastic effects. I really recommend it. It's really good. It's just called Troll, and it's got subtitles, because it's Norwegian, I believe. Yeah, Oslo. Yeah, check it out if you haven't seen it.
It's a great, great movie about a big, giant troll destroying parts of Norway. And it's very similar to Trollhunter. So you'll feel like you've seen it before, but it does still feel original. OK, that's cool. It's weird that there's another troll, because it's that whole kind of like, oh, we're not supposed to turn on anyone, but these trolls exist for real. The legends you've heard are real. So it's kind of doing that whole thing again. But I don't know, I just really enjoyed it.
So I just wanted to mention that one, that I'd watched this one.
I did also go to very quickly, I went to a comic convention locally, which was really weird. All of a sudden, like very badly advertised. All of a sudden, it's like, oh, it's a comic convention this weekend. I wonder if the kids want to go along. And went there and loads of actors, people you knew and stuff like that. But like no one, I'm just sitting there all alone, no one visiting them because it's really badly advertised. But I'll tell you what, I saw an incredible costume.
See that Slimer hot dog costume?
I did see it, yeah.
There's a person in a wheelchair, puts on basically, they must open up the back, they slip in for their wheelchair, put their head in the alms into Slimer, and they go around with an ice cream cart at Slimer. It's like the wheelchair, it's so good, so good.
So it's like the scene where Slimer's on the food trolley then.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amazing.
So I got a selfie with it, I'm happy to say I don't think the person was in there when I did, otherwise I could totally ignore them. I just got a selfie because I thought it was just a prop thing. Also, just very quickly, yeah, Deadbolt films, just if you're into your found footage, we've just been finishing up a movie and I'm going to name check it because it's actually starting to turn out all right. So it's a movie called Amanda.
And that's going to be, I don't know when it's coming out, because we're not sure how we're going to dispute it yet. We've got plans possibly and choices. But yeah, I really enjoy it. Did you like that ending that I shot without spoiling it for the audience?
I did, yeah, I really did. because obviously I've been in on this from the beginning. So I've seen this grow from a differently named project.
Totally different films. It was actually originally, I thought this the other day, originally I came up with the idea for me and you to be in it. And it was about us as podcasters. And I'd go to Stonehenge and just a whole thing happens. And I wrote a whole script for it and it was quite good. And it's turned into this, which is so weird. Yeah, sorry, Karen.
No, no, that was it really. That was all I was going to say. So it started off as a different name in segments.
But we went out to the woods and we shot the ending. I kind of come up with the ending and it came out like 10 minutes. I edited it and put it together. It's like, fucking hell. That's really fucking good, you know. It's actually really strong ending, which is nice to have. Sometimes it's got hard making films to make sure you've got a good strong ending. And I was like, fucking hell, that's pretty good. It's quite intense.
Yeah, no, it's cool. I'm very excited for people to see it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It had night vision, night vision, goggles. All I'll say is night vision, goggles and blank firing guns in the woods with people attacking.
Someone who was firing blanks?
Anyway, I'm Black Slime and Black Slime and me retching because it was unfortunately I'm in it. I've been trying to put myself on the other side of the camera as much as I can. We've got two more scenes to go, then one more scene where I'm hoping a certain horror movie actor who's been in a very loved horror movie is going to play a demonologist for me, but I'm not going to say just in case it isn't. But yes, I'm looking forward to getting that finished and out.
But it's actually a little bit of a test for those night vision goggles for another film we're going to be making soon, which is kind of going to be like The Raid. It's another found footage film, just because we can for what we've got. Basically, I've thought about it. It's going to be like The Raid, but it's a horror movie.
I've always wanted to see a found footage, because I know it's been done with Hardcore Harry, but like a found footage sort of...
But horror, yeah, yeah, yeah. Without the martial arts, but The Raid is going to be a lot of tactical fucking... That stuff with point of views and things. The next movie we're doing, and that's going to be really good.
Someone needs to do a really good found footage werewolf movie.
I know, and I want to do one. The next film we're doing, I said, can it be a werewolf? And we're like, we don't think we've got time to make a good enough costume, so it's probably going to be zombies.
And I was like, oh.
Otherwise, it could work.
I'll grow my beard a bit longer.
because it could work, the setup, what's happening. But I think it's going to be zombies for this one. But I've never done a zombie picture. So yeah.
Cool beans. Well, that's the news. That's the October stuff. Let me just chat about Holly briefly then. So, as I've said, she didn't have time to send in anything, but we have had been chatting over the last couple of weeks. So one of these movies, The Boys From County Howe, is about a real life legend, Irish legend vampire, which are...
And it now is a real life one.
Yeah. So I'll go into the... That's going to be our World Of The Strange segment, is I'm actually going to go into that folklore a lot more. In fact, there's a couple of Irish vampires, which I knew nothing about. So thank you again to Holly for highlighting this. But it all revolves around a pile of stones, which is a grave.
And actually, Holly sent me some pictures, which I'll post up on the Facebook page after recording of the grave, because it's very close to where she's been there a couple of times.
So I see, I almost wanted to know that before I watched the movie, but you don't go into watch movies like it is. Sorry, I'll let you carry on talking. But I love the fact that when you're coming up with ideas of films, if you're local or whatever, you just come up with things around you. I love the fact that they were like, what's that, stones and that whole thing, and then just make a movie around it.
Yeah. It's all based on a real life legend. But again, I won't go into it now. She also says a couple of funny things like, just want to let you know that what everybody in these two films is really what we are all like over here, meaning Ireland. So she said, see them as a documentary if you want. So, I mean, brilliant. I love that. Absolutely love that. And she also said a really lovely thing. She said, let me just, I'm just scrolling down to it.
She said, you guys do good work, meaning the podcast and lots of people, including myself, do love the podcast. It's a real testament to you both, that as many people tune in as they do. I love your stuff so much. Thank you so much for, thank you, I sent her her DVD. And she also says, I'm hoping I've redeemed myself for these two films after Razor Blade Smile, which we covered last time. It was her patron pit. So Razor Blade Smile is a low budget British sort of matrix, want to be vampire.
At the same time, as we did it, I kind of know where Holly's coming from when she got into this, when she's younger. I said, you know, you can go back and listen to the episode, but I understood it, I understood it.
And Holly, thank you for sending me all the links to those documentaries on those vampires as well. I really enjoyed watching all those and in fact, they sent me down a rabbit hole and I watched loads more stuff.
And Holly, thank you for listening and I'm glad that you like it or, you know, other people like the show. Yeah, it's nice to know that. And thanks for your support of the Patreon and every other Patreon we have. Thank you for your support. And as a listener, general listener, thank you for your support for just putting us put being put into your head for three or four hours slipping in your oral holes.
Well, on that note, should we have a little trailer for Extra Space Ordinary?
I know I was trying to find out. I can't find this movie.
In fact, they kind of say that during the film, don't they? It's like you spelled it wrong. It's all one word. But anyway, Extra Space Ordinary from 2019. We'll be back after the trailer.
Why don't we see ghosts every day? Oh, leave me alone. Most hauntings are so small, they go unnoticed. Hi, this is Rosa's driving school. Maybe you could have a chat with my daughter, just to find out what's up with her. My name is Martin. Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Martin, she's floating. She's floating, Martin. To break the spell, we need ectoplasm. You just have to let the ghost inhabit your body. Like in Ghostbusters. Oh, I haven't read that. The plot's thicker.
Why does it have to be so unnecessarily gross? Your girl's got something, prick. Coming soon.
Extra Ordinary. Extra Ordinary. It's not twice, I said it twice. 2019, rate 15 and I won first. 34 Minutes. Rose, a mostly sweet and lovely Irish driving instructor, must use her supernatural talents to save the daughter of Martin. Also mostly sweet and lonely, from a washed up rock star who's using her in a satanic pact to reignite his fame. I thought I was going to say flame, because that would be, it's not reignite his flame, reignite his fame. That's the plot.
Two directors, Mike Ahern and Ender Lowman.
Oh, really?
A lot of people compare this to Garth Marenghi's Dark Place. And it does feel at times a bit like that. I get that, definitely. In just sort of normal people doing, thinking they're better than they are, or, you know, being, I think more of the rock star in this than anything. But this was my second time watching it. How about you? Have you seen this before?
Yeah, I saw it when it came out. I think Sarah and I liked it. because I've got an issue with this film, which I'm just going to say in a moment. What I like about this film is the production. Now, when I say production, and when I say produced, obviously a lot of you listeners are going to understand in this notice. But if not, I'm just going to explain. When I say a film I think is really well produced, you got every department is well made, well managed, well done.
It's been chosen well, and they've delivered and everyone signed off and gone. That's all fucking great. Bring it all together. Boom. And I think this is very well produced film. Everything in this film is great. The casting, the look, the plot, the idea, everything in it is good.
The songs used are great as well.
My only issue, I think I was trying to figure out, I was like, is it the editing? It's not the editing. It's the script. I don't feel that the the. And yes, you don't have to follow scripts completely in the structure. This is just this. This is the second act. And this is it. But I feel like this hasn't been telegraphed enough. Yes, we know who our protagonist is, as in Rose. Yes, the antagonist is, I guess, is going to be the Rockstar.
And her quest and her journey is going either finish her powers that she didn't want. She's at the end going to use those powers for good. I understand all that, but I feel it's really kind of done in a sort of fog like way. It just kind of keeps going again. This is only my opinion though. And I think it's probably because of my filmmaker. I always have these and I see these things just because. But I just, I found after I was still going, it kind of, and I thought, it must be edited.
It's not tight enough. It's not that. I feel that the story isn't tight enough, but it's not a story. It's just the way the beats are. There's something in it. I just felt it just after I was a bit like, come on, get to it. But I was loving it all. That's the problem. I had a real back and forth with it, you know.
I think this is one that will be a grower. And I think I got a lot more out of it this time around. And I think I probably would revisit this several more times in the future. Not like every year, but every few years I might come across this and watch it again. And I do think it's growing a bit of a cult status apparently. And obviously, it's only been out for five years. But it's definitely very clever, very different.
And it does, yes, it has like that sort of Shaun of the Dead, you know, non-American kind of way about it. Very normal people in a weird situation. But also, it's got some very clever nods to the horror genre in it as well. There's an exorcist moment, there's some ghostbusters references. It's made with love.
It's absolutely made with love. Everybody in there is made with love. But going to Shaun of the Dead, definitely not as tight as Shaun of the Dead. That's a tight, tight film. But I know you're not comparing, oh, you're saying other people sort of say like that. But I do like it. I don't know if I'm going to go back to it several times. I might watch it again. I don't know. And that's my issue.
just because of that, I just went, maybe next time I'll watch it, I'll go, actually, what was I talking about? It's fine. I might even do that.
This is a film that would benefit from being back on Netflix because it's gone now. But if it was on streaming, people would be like, you know, it would be like in the top 10 or something again. So there's two before we get into the deep, deep dive of this film, there's two plots, essentially, just to give everyone a heads up on this one, which kind of by weird coincidence, which that is the magic of film and plots, they come together, these two plots.
Maybe that's it as well, because that's it in there as well, which is fine to have. You definitely, most movies have a couple of plots running side by side. That's fairly common. But maybe that's it. And it just didn't feel like this should be, this should be, and it just kind of just meandered.
Yeah, so one of the plots is about Rose, our main actress.
I love her dad's videos.
Yeah, and we'll come to, we'll get into that. So Rose, Rose and her dad, her dad was a famous sort of documentary maker of like paranormal stuff. He was a bit like Arthur C. Clarke and all the people that used to be on the BBC back in the day.
Ghosts are real.
And his daughter Rose was his apprentice or partner, and they could speak to ghosts or tell people they could, you know, and we find out later on that this is all true. And she's now, she's given all that up, because her dad died, and we'll get into that in a minute.
So she's now just trying to be a driving instructor in a little village, but she keeps getting phone calls, you know, oh, my toaster's haunted and my bins are haunted and I think my husband's in my cat and all these kind of and she's just I just want to be a driving instructor and teach people how to drive. That's all I want to do. I will leave all that behind me. So she's there's that plot going on. Meanwhile, there's an American rock star or he was a rock star.
He was a one hit wonder, one hit winter.
He's he's now bought a castle in Ireland, which is very real thing that happens. He's bought a castle in Ireland where he is planning on releasing his new album, new material. However, much like the whole alleged P. Diddy cult and all that kind of stuff, these people, he's willing to literally sell his soul to Satan and sacrifice.
For another hit, because he's such a fucking uncreated failure, he managed to do one hit with a synth.
So he needs to sacrifice a virgin, and the virgin happens to be related to one of the cases that Rose is and isn't working on.
I've never seen the end of a film when a virgin is about to be killed.
Deflowered.
She's de-virginized while on route.
In front of all of her friends.
Yeah.
And the Chinese takeaway man. It's brilliant. Oh, I got a Chinese takeaway here.
Great. I really like the dry humor in this film.
Yeah.
It's very dry. Rose is really good at just like, OK, and just being normal. And coming across is very dry and innocent humor. She comes across as a really sweet person who's very like, Oh, oh, no, there's a there's a fish that's popped out of water. must put it back. She's just, you know, comes with a really nice person.
Spoiler alert. I mean, she is a virgin. We find out at the end.
And she's really like 40s or something.
Probably in her mid 30s, yeah. Like, and that's very apparent once you know that, because she's so sweet and literally innocent. But I'm glad you brought that up, the humor, because I think both of the films we're covering really reflect that Irish dry humor. There is something about the Irish sense of humor where it's like they take it on the chin. What's the worst that can happen? Oh, well, my house is exploded. Oh, well, there's a ghost. Oh, well, that's just that.
They've always got an expression or a saying in Irish, like, well, that's just the way it is, isn't it? You know, don't worry, guys, I'm not going to do any Irish accents. But they're just always like, oh, well, that's just the way it is, I guess. That's the crack for today. There's a vampire, there's a ghost. And I think that really translates very well in this film and the next one. But you're right, in this film, she, like I said to you...
It's really subtly dry humour, and it delivered well.
But it also translates well to the American characters.
Will Forte, yeah.
Yeah, because he's very sarcastic and dry. And again, I get little glimpses for me of what we do in The Shadows, the series, in this as well, in that... You know, it's all very off the cuff.
New Zealand, australia and British humour, very similar. Presumably, we took a few people who went to australia from England, originally, like, took that humour with them, you know. But with American characters and their human jokes, to get them to sort of be in with us, it has to be these sorts of characters, the real dry, sarcastic ones. That fits OK in English.
Yeah, like, people in real life, people like Will Ferrell, I don't know Will Fortes in this, but people like Will Ferrell in that, they translate well, because that kind of humour is very sort of, you know, very off the cuff, a bit zany.
It's quite funny, I watched, like, I watched the most recent Joe Rogan stand up act on Netflix, and I will listen to him talking about it on his show, and he's like, oh, I spent fucking so long going over it. Listen, I was like, didn't even really laugh once. It's like, it's because my humor isn't like what he, because I use examples, like I listen to him quite a bit. So I when he's laughing with his mates and stuff, the stuff that laughs, that's not really that funny.
But that's just because of the difference in humor. You know, well, random thing, 20, 25 years time, I bet there's a fucking ton of 40 year old virgins around the world because kids aren't doing shit like that now. They're just going to talk on the Internet and not interact at all.
Have you ever had sex? Well, virtually, yes, of course.
Yeah. But Daisy started chatting to a young lad in North London, going along really well for me, even speaking on the phone. He's 14, she's 14. They play roadblocks together. But I said to her, I said last night, actually, back in the day, we couldn't do that. Maybe we could text someone, but I didn't have a mobile phone when I was younger. So you had to just go, Oh, I'm doing it in person.
But this way, she's getting to know, or they're getting to know, kids are getting to know each other through texts and stuff. That's not too bad. You actually kind of, do you know what I mean? Going through, go, this guy's a dick, get rid of all this woman's dick or whatever. So I think in some ways it works. Anyway, that's not what we're here talking about.
No, we're here to talk about Extraordinary. So, but that's what we do. We do our tangents. There's one other thing I wanted to mention talking of tangents. just let me just get this off my chest. The main character in this other than Rose is Martin.
Martin Martin?
Martin Martin.
I applaud his mum and dad.
What should we call him?
Let's call him Martin. Wouldn't that be a good idea?
The reason I bring this up is, now I believe there was a character in Beverly Hill who was only 210 called Scott Scott, but I went to school with someone called Scott Scott.
Why did I do it? Martin Martin, Scott Scott, that's not too bad. Martin Martin is actually kind of funny.
Scott Scott was American. He came to my school for like, he came to school for like four to six weeks, maybe two or three months.
Did he get his shit ripped out of him?
No, because he was just this cool American kid. I never really spoke to him. But when I found out his name was Scott Scott, I was like, I don't understand. I do not understand why he's called Scott Scott. It's just weird. But in this, I love the fact that the guy is called Martin Martin. So I just wanted to get off my chest talking of tangent. So I went to school with Scott Scott. And it was really funny for me to see that this guy has to introduce himself in his Irish accent.
He's like, I'm Martin. And what's your surname? Martin. I'm Martin Martin. But, you know, Martin Martin said for the Irish, Martin Martin. Oh, yeah, it's just so perfect and so funny.
I wonder how this both of these films translate. Do American listeners, Canadian listeners and whatever, please let us know how these films actually translate if you happen to watch them as well to you guys. You know, this one's more of the funnier one, but they both have humor. So we start off with this retro TV show, which is because I really love this look and I love this guy. Hello.
This is like a ghost watch kind of.
Well, this is real sensible guys. because hello, ghosts are real. And just kind of doing this sort of thing to talk about.
He's so he's like the Garth Marenghi almost characters. Yeah, I mean, so if you can picture that for anyone that knows Garth Marenghi, guys. But yeah, this is Rose's dad.
And it's like ghosts can be in anything, even cheese. Yeah, you even eat in a ghost.
Well, he says in cheese. Yeah, he says you have nightmares when you eat cheese. You might eat in a ghost. Bacteria in cheese could actually be dead ghost. So you might be in a ghost. It's like, what is going on?
I quite like it if an opening. And I kind of was kind of a bit gutted, I think the first time, even this one a little bit, that character isn't actually in it. This movie isn't about that guy making a TV show. You could do like that devil one that just came out, you know, the TV show, but with this guy instead.
Well, he basically, in this clip that we're showing, which is, I guess, in the 70s or something, I guess the show was out or the 80s maybe, he basically says, go see it everywhere, we just don't see them. And then like he shows you footage of like a street, and you're like, well, there's nothing there, but then a little circle appears.
Chris Packett moves on it, he says, that's a ghost.
And he goes, that pen just moved. That pen lid just moved. That book just moved.
A ghost.
Most of it's just wind blowing things around, but he claims they're ghosts.
But we find out that he's passed away, and he's dead now.
Yeah, and yeah.
It's all quite bad about this. So at this point here, though, we see some gray flowers put on the grave. So we understand that this is it, and who's this person? Oh, it's possibly his daughter, which it is, and she puts some flowers on the grave, and walks along, and then the camera statically from a grove of the road doesn't move, as a bin lorry turns up, picks up the flowers, drives off, like, literally 10 seconds after she's put them down for the grave.
It's very funny.
And a bin lorry knows in it later on.
Well, what's very clever, and you know what you're getting, you know how sharp the writing is. So the woman at the grave was Rose and her sister, Sailor. So Rose and Sailor are sisters, Vincent's their dad, he's dead. What's very funny is, as they get in their learning vehicle, Rose's learning car to drive away, so she's got one of these great big L's on the top, and she's driving off.
As she drives off, it says on the screen, based on a true story, then the bin lorry comes along and just takes that away, basically saying, nah, that's a load of rubbish. And I think that's very clever that they've done that. I don't know if you spotted that, but it just moves away the based on a true story site. It's not really. But I think that's very funny.
I really wish, though, this film was a bit tighter. And I know it's only nightmids, but like I was saying, that thing, I wish it was because it would be something, I don't know what it is. Maybe it seems a bit too repetitive after a while. But yeah, I wish it was a bit tighter, because this would be, I think, be in my collection.
I don't know. I really enjoy it.
Then again, could just be me.
We get some great shots of Irish countryside, letting us know we're in Ireland.
Let me find out. Rose is a driving instructor, as Dan said earlier. I love, though, right, this is really nice because we do figure out when they've got Nokia phones, that they've all got Nokia phones. Okay, we're setting an actual era because of that car as well. But then again, we think it could have been now because some places in the world still have older stuff. But her car was my first ever car when I learned to drive. And any key in the world would open the door.
You could stick in a stick probably and twist it and it would open it up. But I had the exact same car, exactly. And I was so happy to see that. It made me go, oh, that car!
That's brilliant.
Burn the clutch out, and you could change gear without moving the gear stick. I mean, putting the clutch down.
Well, the scene of her teaching a pupil who crashes, but she lets him off, just demonstrates, like you said earlier, that she's a really sweet person. She's very forgiving, and she just wants to do good in life really. So, yeah, she lets them off for crashing the car and he's very nervous. But that's fine. She keeps seeing magpies everywhere, a magpie. She always salutes the magpie, which is the tradition. And that comes back into it later on.
We are getting character development with her, and it's sort of following her what's going on. We follow her when she goes home, and she just pulls her trousers off and just puts on a... Basically, what we all do behind closed doors when we get in, we just pull her trousers off, put in a... Well, I don't eat microwave meals, but I'm sure a lot of people do.
Well, she eats a yogurt first, then eats a microwave lasagna after. She does it the wrong way around.
But yeah, and we know she's a bit lonely because when she comes home, she says, I'm home.
She says, no, she says, she says, she says, no one, I'm home.
I said, no one, I'm home. So yeah, and we understand that she possibly misses her dad, but she's a really upbeat person though. We don't know what happens to the mum. But yeah, so this lady, this is Rose, and she's quite pleasant. She's nice. We don't know what sort of film we're getting at this point.
But she's got a locked room in her house that she looks at with a big padlock on it.
She gets loads of people who keep leaving her answering messages saying, Oh, I've lost my keys or my phone charger. Could you please just use your powers to find it? Which is quite funny. But so we're now discovering that she has powers and she's decided to shut them down and not use them. So it's quite easily for us to know exactly what's going on with Rose, and who she is as a person.
And she gets a message from...
Martin Martin. Yes.
And he says, Look, is this a Rose's driving school? I really need you to call me. And then we see it from the other end.
I love later on, just because she's in that sort of situation, and I think it's her sister. Is the one pregnant?
Is that her sister? Yeah, sailor, yeah.
Says like, Oh yeah. And she just because she knows that her sister's probably always saying, Have you found a man? Have you? Do you know what I mean? I met someone and it's like this dude's like, you wouldn't standardly class that as meeting someone. It was just an older guy who wanted a driving lesson around her age. And she's just like, you know, because she's in that connection. Well, not really. He's there for one reason, not for that.
Well, I find it quite funny that she's met someone, but that's jumping ahead.
Well, we cut to Martin Martin leaving that message. We cut to the other side. Now, what leads to him leaving that message, which is cool, a nice little bit of editing. So it starts off with this guy and he's in his bathroom and he wipes the mirror and he looks up and in the mirror, it says, you must pay. He's like, oh, my God. And then he shuts the other side and it says the car tax. And he's like, oh, OK, thanks, Bonnie. And you start to realize Bonnie, his dead wife, is haunting him.
Yeah, in an abusive relationship. I never thought it would be someone being in an abusive relationship with a ghost.
Yeah, so she picks out his shirts for him.
That's definitely an abusive relationship.
And she won't let him eat donuts. He tries to pick a different shirt out of the cupboard and she opens the top cupboard and bangs him, gives him a black eye. We don't see her, do we?
This is shit. It's like going into Entity World or something.
But you literally, we aren't, because these characters are so fun, because this is all well written, in my opinion, that's why we just go with this, because his daughter comes and he comes and says, and his daughter says, what happened to your eye? Was it mum again? Yeah.
And when you have the realisation, understanding that the daughter knows as well, it doesn't make it any lesser thing. I still feel like it's a bit of a cunt thing for the ghost to be doing.
Oh, of course, of course. And then his dog does that classic thing of dragging its bum all over the carpet.
So the mum puts on the toast, the dog has worms, comes out like in toasted...
And he says to his daughter, Sarah, see, look, she is trying to help, look.
Then outside, his daughter's just out there smoking. He's obviously, Martin Martin, he obviously hasn't got a handle on his daughter. And she's fine, she's not going to go off the rails and stuff. As he says, which I fucking love, this did make me laugh, don't you not go... I won't do an Irish accent. Don't go out there and be a homeless sex maniac living on the street, snorting hash.
I know, it's brilliant.
And I love that, because that made me laugh.
She's like, jesus Christ, dad, like, where have you been? And then he says, well, he basically, they talk about it and he's like, maybe I will do something like, she's like, there is someone that, you know, and he's like, well, who are you going to call? There's your first little ghost plus just referencing, she says, the Dooley's and that's Rose Dooley. So he leaves the message. And then we see him from his side, leaving the message. So Rose and Martin meet up. So this is it.
This is the connection now. There is a connection, because when they do shake hands in the car, there is a static shot and the car radio turns on. Now, whether that's Rose's powers or Bonnie doing something, his dead wife's ghost, because he is haunted by his dead wife. There is some static there.
I like the fact that Marty Martin has bought... So I've bought toasted sandwiches, juice and some mince, just as a case of onions in the sandwiches.
And he puts it all out on the dashboard, bless him.
And she's like, oh, okay, because she's so sweet and innocent. But it's just like, what the fuck? Like, why would you want to go on a drive and bring toasted sandwiches?
She says, take your sunglasses off. He's like, no, I can't take them off.
He can't take them off because he's got a black eye from his abusive ghost relationship.
So the lesson begins now, obviously, he's driving fucking great. He's obviously been driving like 20 years.
She's sucking on a juice bottle. This is great.
She says, you know, some people are just good at teaching. She thinks she's such a good teacher.
Some people are just good at teaching.
I'm just gifted at teaching really. And then he says that, I got to tell you something, I can drive.
Yeah, I've not come for lesson, but I need help.
My wife, and he starts crying and she's like, what? And then she sees his black eye and then he reveals my wife's dead. I wonder if you could just come and chat to my dead wife.
See, she's definitely not made a connection. It's definitely like, you know, but bless her.
Well, she says no. She says, please, she says, you are an experienced and driver with a license, please remove yourself from my vehicle in a really professional way. And he sort of gets out of her car then. And yeah, and then we get another clip of her dad's show.
I really like when they're driving along and people just turn into ghosts. I think when they're floating along, just white sheet ghosts. I really like that.
She sees signs everywhere.
We're basically going into kind of what she sees.
She sees like the tree branch wave at her, the same tree branch every day. She sees that magpie. Now, spoiler, later on we find out her dad's soul is in the magpie, which is why it's always following her. She sees just like a plug coming off the ground. So it's waving at her like random things. At one point, she sees what she thinks is a dead old lady. She waves back and the old lady waves back. She goes, Oh, sorry, I thought you were dead. But yes, so she sees all these signs everywhere.
And she thinks maybe I should help Martin, Martin, Martin, Martin.
Cosmic Woman music video.
Oh, yeah. So we meet American singer Christian Winter. They call him the one hit Winter. He has moved to Ireland.
Last time we saw him, he was delivering food to Dave Graul in Studio 666.
That's true, actually, he was. So he's got his new album that he wants to work on and release. He's moved to a castle he's bought in Ireland with his australian wife, who is called, what's her name? I can't remember her name now, Claudia.
I should have said Dave Gould, because it's our Halloweeny month.
Also, we shall not speak his name anymore, because he's got a child out of wedlock.
The thing is, though, he's a rock and roll star, if he ain't shagging around.
Oh my God, you've said exactly, so my wife messaged me.
It's like, come on.
She worships Grape Dave Graul. She said, I'm really gutted.
That's the trouble, though. Dave has over the years put, he comes across, because he is a really generally nice human person that cares for people and shit. But at the same time, he's rock and roll star.
My wife messaged me, she said, I'm really gutted about this Dave Graul thing. And I said, oh, well, shit happens. And she went, what? What do you mean shit happens? I said, he's in a rock band.
Yeah, the women will be throwing themselves constantly. If he's just done it the once, well done. It's only the once.
What we don't know is how old this child is. This child might be like 20, 25.
Having a kid is not a good look, though.
Yeah, no, it's fine.
But come on.
But anyway, he's got this new album coming out and he is got, he just happens to have a virgin floating in his castle in one of the rooms. And he says, oh, yeah, I'm going to sacrifice this virgin. He sort of recounts to his wife, you know, don't forget the virgin's in there. Don't go in there.
And this dude reminded me, you know, where I got the crystal ball from. I've told that story about the secret room and a secret room. It reminds me, because this guy is a German pop star. I can imagine him doing this.
Maybe that's what the secret room is for.
I'm moving on Monday. I'm moving around the corner from where that house was. So my crystal ball is going almost home.
Well, hopefully no virgins are floating around there. So he's got this big castle full of very demonic objects, because obviously he's worshiped Satan. That's how he is planning. He's been spending all these years since his one hit, doing everything he can so that he can sacrifice a virgin. He studied all the texts, all the rituals, and he's going to sacrifice this virgin, and he's going to have huge success. He's not going to go to a P. Diddy party. He's going to do this instead.
Similar, similar things. So, but unfortunately, his annoying wife, Claudia, decides to pop in the room and wake up the virgin. Now, if you wake up a floating virgin, Gav, what happens?
Oh, it explodes, doesn't it?
It explodes. So he just hears this loud noise, and his wife comes up and goes, Oh my God, it's all over me. And he's like, what's happened? This poor girl is in half, there's blood and guts all over the room. He's like, I told you not to wake her up. For God's sake, I've only got 24 hours to find another virgin now before the moon.
It is quite amusing that she's quite annoying, but she, well, spoiler, he gets so annoyed that he fucking stabs her up. He slips her throat. Later on.
She says to him, why don't you just use your Willy stick to find another virgin?
So he's got this giant, massive star off, which at the top of it looks like a big cock.
It's a big cock and balls on the top of it.
Pretty much. And he basically picks up, drops it. Wherever it drops is the direction to follow. So she says, why don't you drop it a bit closer to town?
Yeah, because he was going to start in the room.
Let for a stick, walks that far, picks it up, does it again. That's ridiculous. So she is correct in that sense.
So he says, okay, he gets in his car with his big dick stick. There we go. So cut to Rose. Rose is getting her hair done by her sister. Her sister's hair is dressed up.
And this is where she says, no, I think I've better man, Martin Martin.
And she says, oh, have you? But what's really cool about her sister, though, is she goes, well, I'll tell you what the best thing you should do is, you should stalk him. Brilliant, brilliant advice. Thanks, sis. So she does.
Yeah.
So she follows him into the hardware store that his daughter works in. Sarah, his daughter, works in this hardware store. It's quite funny.
She sticks in. It is quite music. She's lovely nice, but doing the stalking thing is a bit weird. But she doesn't know it. She doesn't know any different though, because she's so innocent.
She doesn't know. And there's some funny comments during the hairdressing scene where the woman getting her hair done next to her says, you haven't got yourself knocked up like your sister, have you? And she's like doing her hair for her. It's like, jesus.
Yeah, because I can't remember. I wish you got, yeah, science going on with that, I can't remember. Yeah, I like, like after, it's quite comical in there. He's sort of saying stuff like, talking about, what about that girl? How was it? Well, she's all right. Bit weird sort of thing. So she'd be in the background smug. Oh, yeah. Oh, OK.
Yeah, because he sort of says she was a bit weird. Very sweet, though, really warm kind, but very lonely and a bit freaky. But also, I got a nice warm sense from her. But she was a bit strange. It's like up and down, up and down. And she's just hiding behind a mop the whole time, isn't she?
And then he leaves and she just quickly darts out of shop as well. Could I help? You know, it's OK. And just as she's coming out, though, Winters is walking in with his willy stick.
Yep, she bumps into it. She's like, question, Winters.
But what I really, really love, though, she just looks at the stick and just slowly touches it and just says, willy. She slowly touches the willy stick. She goes, willy. And it's just for no reason.
No, no, there is a reason. She says willy and he goes, well, yes. And she says, no, no, willy like me, I wonder.
Yeah, yeah, but no, but that first bit, okay, yeah. But when she does that, it's almost a bit like a hot fuzzle. It's like cock. It's that sort of gag to it. And she goes to touch it as well. And he's like, what the fuck? And she's just all of a sudden, because being a virgin and that, she probably doesn't even have a vibrator. You know, she's probably like, I'm willy? So it's quite, I thought it was funny.
She says, Christian Winter, I'm such a big fan of that one hit you had all those years ago.
She must have already seen him in town, though, but maybe not.
Yeah, she said, I heard you moved to Tyne. You know, we've heard that you moved to Tyne here. But yeah, you did that one song like 25 years ago. Wow. How did it go? Cosmic Woman, was it? Cosmic Woman. It's a really bad song, isn't it? It's a bit like, I'm on a one way highway. That song, he sings on Garth Marenghi. I always loved that song. So yeah, so she's now bumped into him, and he has determined that Sarah, Martin Martin's daughter is a virgin, and he is going to sacrifice her.
So that's the plot there.
He's got that wrong.
Well, yeah, we find that out later on, doesn't he? His willy stick wasn't doing very well there, was it? So just a quick snippet of Martin Martin trying to eat a doughnut, his dead wife, Bonnie, won't let him do that. She snaps out of his hand. He's like, I just want to eat a doughnut. Come on.
Surely, surely, though, if he if he passed over, he could eat doughnuts, eat loads of doughnuts, get clogged up, pass away from a heart attack, and then they'd be over.
I tell you what, if Alice died and she was haunting me, she'd be encouraging me to eat doughnuts. She'd be like, look, you're grieving. Eat some doughnuts, Dan.
I'd be there going, no, you should be slapping me up.
Don't.
Stop eating the doughnuts. You're going to turn into one, like in The Simpsons, so you've got one of Homer's heads of doughnut.
Honestly, I know about The Simpsons now. I loved it when he was trying to...
Stop picking at your head, Homer.
I was trying to... I loved it when he was trying to eat the doughnuts, but Bart and milhouse had the stopwatch, and every time he put a doughnut in, whenever his manny would vanish. The doughs work really well for certain gags.
Yeah. Like, don't, don't, don't, don't.
Like the clone one where they all jump off the cliff.
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. The clone one is so good. Don't.
Yeah, Peter Griffin was in that one, wasn't he?
Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, it was.
He's one of the clones. It was funny one, that one. Anyway, Christian begins an incantation, so he's gonna do something that's gonna make Sarah Martin come to him at some point. Martin calls Rose, I need you to come to my house immediately, because the incantation started. They don't know that, but they go into Sarah's room and she is floating.
Yeah, it looks really cool.
Really cool. And again, that's the production. You know, it's not they've not gone crazy with the effects. It's just looks nice.
Yeah, because that's just either a green block underneath her or green wires taken out. So it's nothing incredible, but it just looks good.
And Rose has brought an old Fatback TV with her and with a built-in VCR player.
Yeah, well, first of all, Rose, I know no way this is too much for me, which is a bit weird because she's actually brought a video with her about sheep, floating sheep, goats, gloating, a video on gloating.
The goating. He says, why is it called goating? She's like, because they're goats that float. Goating. And he's like, oh, okay, yeah, of course. And her dad's like, this absurd is called the goating. And he's got this case, he worked on where there's this farmer's goats were floating. And if you touch them, they explode. Yeah, she's like, so whatever we do, we can't touch her because she'll explode. And he's like, right. But she's floating in here.
So this poor guy, he's lost his wife, who was abusive. So that's probably a nice thing for him. He's lost his wife. She's haunting him now, picking out his shirts and doughnuts for him. Still been abusive. And now his poor daughter is floating above the bed. And he's been told if he touches her, she'll explode.
And he can't eat a doughnut.
Fucking hell. He can't even wear his fancy shirt until later on.
There's a wheelie being ghost.
There is a wheelie being ghost. Well, before we get to that then, so we get a little bit of a back story where she has a vision of her dad saying, why did you slaughter me, Rose? Why did she say I didn't kill your dad? So she's somehow is or feel at least feels responsible for her dad's death. So that's something that starts playing into a little bit now.
So she learns what she does is she watches a lot of her dad's old videotapes for the next rest of the movie, ready to pick up what she should do next and what she needs basically. She says, this is most likely a satanic ritual and it's prepping your daughter for a virgin sacrifice. So this is where she says, if you touch her, you'll explode her because while she's at this point now, she's protected by this satanic force and she'll explode.
So Christian and his wife are outside thinking, where is the body? Why isn't it floating out to us yet? And then they see Rose and Martin sort of just carrying his floating daughter out and putting her in the car. Like a carpet, like a couple of people moving a carpet around. Funny moment we didn't mention is when she turns up at Martin, Martin's house is the exact same lighting and shot as the exorcist poster. And also he asks her, she says, what we need is ectoplasm.
We can collect some ectoplasm, I can help you. And he's like, oh, like in ghostbusters. And she goes, I've never read it. It's just such a funny little off the cuff moment. But yeah, so they need ectoplasm. So what they need to do is they need to go to some other ghosts where there's like supernatural power. Then that will give Rose the ability to be able to summon Bonnie into Martin Martin or the ghost or whoever into Martin Martin's body. She can then exercise the ghost.
He will then spit out ectoplasm into a Yankee candle jar, which I love. And then they can collect enough ectoplasm. They can use it then to cancel the ritual. So there's your kind of plot really. So what they're going to do over the next 40 minutes or so.
She does get a message from Winters because he realizes that Rose, because he's over there. He's been observing them. What is he watching them?
because he wants the Virgin. Oh, okay.
He's just keeping an eye, yeah, okay. So he's like, who is this? What is this? Well, she has some sort of, you know, he has some sort of powers, she does. So that's, you know, so it's like right.
He thinks she's a witch. He thinks she's a witch.
So he's like, right, I'm going to see if I can get a drive in this. And so he leaves a message saying, can I have a drive and license? So she goes and picks him up.
And it's really slow seeing where he gets in the car.
I like the fact his wife is playing snake on the Nokia phone as well.
She was really slow seeing where he gets in the car and he takes off his gloves really slowly. And Rose is like, OK, we're ready to go. And then he stops, puts on his other gloves, his driving gloves, really slowly. She's like, OK.
It's a bit like he's autistic or something.
And then he steals the car instantly and bloodies his nose on the steering wheel.
Oh my god, are you OK? because it's just like, what the fuck? How could you do that? Who steals a car and headbutts a steering wheel that much from a stolen elf? Have you done that, Dan?
No, I've never done that. I've never done that. You mentioned the wheelie bins. They do. She goes out to another... because she's getting calls still daily from people around the town. So she does go to that person whose husband who died is haunting the recycling bin because his wife doesn't... Since he died, his wife doesn't bother recycling. And that's where they collect their first bit of ectoplasm.
And Martin Martin becomes possessed by this old Irishman who's like, why would you put the food waste in the green bin?
I don't know why you do that.
And sort of this whole like really mundane, haunting...
I do remember thinking when they go around the ectoplasm, it's felt like very... I know it had to go to different places, but it felt a bit same old, same old. They do have an investigation of a pot hole and a dog. And what was the dog's name?
Beans. So there's a flashback now. She tells him what happened to her dad. So what happened to her dad is, when she was a child, she was really learning the craft alongside her dad, and he was really trusting her with some of the incantations and rituals. And they got called out to a haunted pot hole, such a British thing. However, it turns out it was a portal to another dimension of some kind. And this woman's dog had been dragged into it.
So there's a woman holding a lead that's going into a puddle basically. And she's like, he's in there, beans is in there, which is Gav's dog's name, everybody. And I thought that.
No, I know.
So they tried to get him out. What they did was they summoned his spirit into her dad. Her dad then turned into like...
Start barking and that. But then he got so excited, he ran off and ran into traffic.
Well, she fucked up the spell. She fucked up the ritual. She got distracted and he ran in front of a lorry, which splattered him. That's why.
The bin lorry. She feels like she killed her dad.
Yep. And she feels like she killed her dad.
It's a bit of a piss take of the bin.
So, they get the ectoplasm. And they've been followed all this time by Will Forte, by Christian Winter. And he's like, this witch must be stopped. He's very dramatic in everything he does.
At this point here, like an hour in, it fell, it might be because it's so much going on, but generally one lot's going on, but maybe it's too much. At this point here, it felt like it was an hour and a half in. Do you know what I mean? And it's only an hour. That's my own opinion.
Well, they get back to Martin Martin's house early. There's a really funny comedy part here, like a really bit of good comedy, where they've got Sarah in the back of the car floating, and she drops Martin off at his house. And he's like, well bye. And she's like, okay bye. And she's thought, oh, I didn't get a kiss from him or anything. And then he turns around and he comes back, and she's like, oh wow, look, who decided to come on back?
And he's like, yeah, sorry, I forgot my dead floating daughter Virgin in the back of the car. And he's like, oh yeah, right. She thought he's coming back to give her a kiss, but no, he just forgot his daughter was in the back of the car.
Do you have a cleaning montage? Winters has a cleaning montage.
He does, yeah, cleaning his flat, his castle.
because he's getting it all ready for his big, big, big, you know.
And Martin Martin is also cleaning his daughter's room while his daughter is floating in there. He's vacuuming underneath her. He puts some deodorant under her armpits. Bless him. He's really still looking after his girl. And yeah, so we've already had the driving lesson. We did jump ahead early when we got to that, didn't we? But he uses the driving lesson to basically say to her, driving, maybe driving instruction isn't your best talent, Rose.
Do you have another more deeply hidden talent that you want to tell me about? And she's like, no, no, get out of my car. So he's like, well, there is, you are hiding another talent there. And he knows that she's got some kind of supernatural ability.
Yeah, yeah, because I thought you jumped ahead with ectoplasm because they kind of do that soon. But you were just explaining what they do.
Well, they do want to ectoplasm when the wheelie bins.
Yeah, see, this is why, because they did that then. And then they're both together. Then their friend turns up, or his sister, and she says, oh, because she thinks we shagged last night. Yeah, I'm always like, oh, gross. She's like, oh, yeah. But anyway, then they go start doing the looking for ectoplasm. So this is what I think it just feels like so much in there. It just makes it feel like it's so much more.
And what Christian also did with that driving lesson was he stole her scrunchie. So he had an object of hers that he can use in a nefarious demonic way. So yeah, he's also collected her scrunchie, her hair scrunchie, her hair bobble, whatever it is, whatever country you call it. And elastic, big elastic band thing that women put in their hair. Poor men, if you've got long hair.
But yeah, I think I think it's quite a slow paced movie, really, which is fine. But I think it does need to get to the point a little bit quicker.
But she. She decides, although she's fearful about having a partner help her in a supernatural case, because last time she did, she killed her dad, essentially. She decides, I will work with you and you can help me. So he gets loads of jars ready, so they can get ready to collect a load of ectoplasm.
They go to a graveyard later on in the red light. It looks so nice. Again, it's like being on the moors again. There's no natural light source or a big red light. But the graveyard looks super good.
It's a blood red moon.
Oh, is that what it is? Is that what's giving that red light?
Okay. Questions preparing for the incantation by whistling and singing. Satan, Satan, Satan, Satan, Satan, Satan. He's just having a great time.
He's a bit of a fucking moron. I love the fact that Martin Martin explains about how his wife died. And he made a lovely kissing cuckoo clock. And it turns out, it just basically just went brrrr, did its thing, then flipped around and hit her on the head. And it's just like, that's what killed her. My God.
Yeah. Bless him. So we get a funny montage now of them going round to various people who've got hauntings that they're going to get the ectoplasm from by something in their spirit.
This is where I was just like, I'm really, this is so dragon now.
Oh, I really like this. So they go to one person and she's like, oh, the mold on the wall is my grandma. And they're like, oh, I can't really see that. No, no, I swear it's my grandma. Okay. So they manage, oh, it is. They get the ectoplasm. Great. Then they go to a stag's head and he's like, this stag's head has been crying for about two weeks. And she's like, oh, strange. And she tastes the tear. She goes, it's 7up. He's like, that was my wife's favorite drink.
He's like, OK, so it's your wife's spirit in the stag's head. Great. So they get the ectoplasm from there. Then they go to one guy and they're like, well, so what's going on? He said, well, it was a werewolf in my garden, a big ginger werewolf. And they have this whole discussion about is a werewolf ginger? I suppose if you're someone with ginger and they turn into werewolf, they would be a ginger werewolf. And then she's like, so what did it look like? He's like, just a big ginger wolf.
She's like, was it a fox? And he's like, yeah, it probably was a fox.
I didn't like that at all. I thought it was really false humor because that's just when you have a joke, okay, cool. But then he says, oh, no, it was a fox. No one thinks a fox is a fucking six foot werewolf.
Well, this lunatic old man did.
I thought it was a really false joke and didn't like it.
Well, they take her to Bonnie's grave. She takes him to Bonnie's grave and says, you know, I think we can get the exoplasm from her as well. There is a connection between us. I think we should do it. And they get back to, because they've left her sister, Sailor, to babysit the virgin upstairs. But they get back and she's actually got a boyfriend over, the one who's got her pregnant. And they're like, oh, nice to meet you.
And he's like, hi, I'm Ian of the Durham County Council Government Section. And he's like, why are you telling me this, Brian, or whatever his name is? You don't need to tell me who you are. And they basically just cut straight to the chase. She's like, look, this is what's happened. All right, sister, there's a woman, the sister of the girl upstairs is a virgin. She's in a trance. She's going to be sacrificed. We need you guys on board with this.
So we're going to start a ritual right now where we're going to summon Bonnie into her husband. And it's brilliant when they do this, because that cigarette just pops out of his mouth, doesn't it? A little cigarette. And he just turns into this like crazy old Irish woman, the abusive dead wife of his. And it's great. And he's kind of this guy is really good at doing the physical because he's playing two characters really there. He's being himself. But then he keeps turning into his wife as well.
And I think it's really well done. I was trying to figure out if they dubbed the voice over, if it was him doing the voice.
No, it's him doing the voice. Yeah, it's all right.
And she says, get your filthy hands off my Martin. You know, I know what your game is. She's like, no, it's not like that. We're just trying to save your daughter. Your daughter's upstairs under a trance. And she's obviously a very abusive cigarette smoking, hardy old Irish woman. I don't know why he would have married her. She seems like a right old battle axe, didn't she? She probably bullied him into the marriage.
But Rose exercises Bonnie and tells Brian that the boyfriend took, go and rub this ectoplasm all over the girl upstairs face. And he's like, well, there's no one upstairs. And they realize she's already been taken by Christian. So she says, right, okay, let's follow him. And we get this really slow chase where there's a floating girl, just floating really slowly down the highway.
It's like a funeral procession, going along, driving slowly.
And then we get a really slow car following her. And then they're following Christian's car. And it's just, he even gets out at one point and says, get, let go of my daughter. Stop, leave her alone. And then they grab her ankle, the baddies, and just drive off with this floating girl dragging behind them in the car. And Martin, Martin loses his couple of fingers, doesn't he? In the car window. So that's not good. Brian picks one of them up. Poor Brian, he's been dragged into this.
The boyfriend, he's just been dragged into this whole crazy scenario. And the ritual starts at the castle. So they're like, maybe if we could just hide here, we might be able to sneak in the castle.
When does he kill his wife as well at some point?
Well, she orders Chinese food and says, if it's not here in 30 minutes, you know, I'm not paying for it. The Chinese food delivers, so they sneak in with the Chinese guy. But the woman, Claudia, Christian's wife, sends him away and says, no, this isn't the rice we ordered. Go back and get it, get the right order. Otherwise, I'm not paying for any of it. And she's just eating this Chinese food.
While he's trying to do this huge satanic ritual, she's there going, I've just put yours out on the plate for you, love, all right? There's some chicken chow mein. And he's like, oh, for God's sake. So yeah, he just goes over to her, cuts her throat. And then he eats a spoonful of Chinese and then carries on. So the others sneak into the castle. However, bad timing, because sailor's contractions start. That's not what you need. You don't need somebody having a baby.
Now, I thought it was going to be something to do with the baby being born that was going to block the ritual or something like that.
I actually thought it was going to get really dark. I said I want that baby as the virgin. Yeah, that baby is obviously a virgin.
The baby like in Monster Squad. Yeah. What's a virgin? Yeah. So Martin interrupts the ritual. And so you get away from my girl. And Christian Winsch is like, can't a man just sacrifice a virgin in peace around here? Some blood drips onto the pentagram on the floor and it creates a huge portal underneath Sarah. Now, this is where a lot of the money would have gone for these effects, because this huge portal, presumably to hell appears below Sarah, and she actually drops into it.
So Christian fights Martin. They have a good old scrap. But Bonnie takes over Martin's body because she's a badass. She gets a cigarette out.
Domestic abuser. Yeah, she knows how to fight someone.
Yeah. She knows how to beat her husband. She burns Christian on the face with a cigarette. Sarah gets spat back out of the portal and she's actually awake.
But the Dark Lord arrives.
This huge entity in a sheet, which looks great, I think. It's about reminding me of the frightness, but actually better effects than the frightness. And the Dark Lord says to Christian, You've broken our contract. Now I'm going to swallow your soul because the girl you gave me was no virgin. And Martin Martin's like, What? What do you mean my daughter's not a virgin? No, she's a virgin. And then he points to Rose and says, She is a virgin. And she says, No, I'm not. There was that guy.
And he says, just the tip went in. So the Dark Lord was like, just the tip went in. That doesn't count. She's like, Oh, okay. But Christian's happy. He's like, Great. I'm going to sacrifice Rose in that case. So Martin comes to the rescue. What do these do, Gav? What does Martin do to Rose? With her permission, of course.
He starts boning her while she's being slid along the floor.
Quick, come and do me quickly. Kiss me, fool. And then Bonnie gets really weird now, because then Bonnie sort of joins in possessing her husband.
It's like he frees him.
She says, He likes it like this.
Give it like that.
And then she turns back and it's all a bit weird and weird. Christian gets an eye poke out by the Magpie, who we later find out is Rose's dad, Soul, inside there. And then, yeah, the baby starts being born as well, so it's all happening all at once. Christian ends up falling into the portal. His wig comes off as a final, fuck you. And he just goes, ah, and falls down and dies. And then Rose and Martin have a post-coital cigarette, which is actually Bonnie's cigarette.
And Bonnie says, through Martin, look after him, Rose, you know, he's a good lad, really. I wasn't very nice to him, but you're a good girl. You look after him. And then she turns back into Martin. And then Rose says, well, wait till I tell people my first time is technically a threesome, which is just weird. The baby's born. And it turns out, as I've said, that her dad's spirit is in the magpie.
He speaks to her through Martin, and they show him his grandson, who they decide to call Vincent, after him. And then the special fried rice shows up. The guy's like, I've got your special fried rice here. Sorry, it's late. And then we cut to three months later. So that was a very crazy end to it. And we cut to three months later, and Rose and Martin have started a paranormal investigation business together called Extra Ordinary.
And then a strange ending with him proposing to her, and her just saying, no. He asks her to marry him, and she says, no. And that's the end.
It is.
But it's about the little moments and the interactions between the characters and the little off the cuff, dry humor jokes, I think, throughout this.
Yeah, I like it all. But even just doing that review just brought it back to me. Like the first 45, 50 minutes, I'm kind of rivet. Then the rest of it just goes on. It feels like so, and it just doesn't. That ending is not as it's OK. It's do you know what I mean? It's just it's all right. I get I'm let down by it, unfortunately. But Holly, I did enjoy it. I did enjoy it. I'm not being negative. I can't help it.
I wrote three words at the end.
Yeah.
hilarious. Weird.
It's funny. Yeah.
And heartfelt. I felt like there was a lot of heart in this. Yeah. And I feel that way about the next film as well. I feel like both of these films have got quite a lot of heart in them. because although it's crazy, silly, they're collecting ectoplasm, there's dead wives speaking through their husbands. There was a lot of heart in there. There was a lot of talk about grief, but also just normal things that people do. People get home and they eat their microbe lasagna and that kind of thing.
I don't know. I really enjoyed this and actually preferred it even more the second time around. And like I said, I will definitely come back to it. I'd say a thumbs up from me. Would you give it a thumbs up?
Yeah, because like I said, I like the production, everything in it. It just needs to be tight. Even though it's only an hour and a half, I can't be editing. Well, I suppose you can, but I don't know. A thumbs up?
At times, I guess...
My tension goes.
I guess a small criticism from me is, it does feel a bit like, I mentioned earlier, there's two plots, and it does feel like they...
I think maybe take one out.
But then, it would be interesting to see just the story of Rose meeting Martin. That would have been a funny film.
I suppose that would be a romantic comedy.
It feels like they've stapled in another plot about a rock star who wants to sacrifice a virgin.
And she's going to use her powers to save it, and it's...
It's all very well polished, but it does feel like, again, sometimes those two plots work like create a bit of friction against each other. That is my... I see what you mean. Sometimes it does feel that, but overall, it's an enjoyable ride.
But I am, though, hands up, I'm absolutely terrible with my tension span. It is awful. I'm really bad, as everybody fucking knows, who listens to the show. So when I watch movies sometimes, if I'm not got something else going on and it did feel the same, kind of, I just start to go, eh, and I start tapping out a little. And I did. But it's a wavy thumbs up for me. You know, it's good. It's got everything there. I really like it. I just start to go, ugh. So that's it.
But, you know, I'm not being negative. It is a pretty decent film in some senses.
Well, there we go. That was Extra Ordinary. Now, Bill Murray, talking of Extra Ordinary, Bill Murray has walked in the room and he is ready. He's dressed up as a vampire, a Gary Oldman vampire.
Bill, who do you call when something happens? So if there's a ghost, obviously you've been called before ghostbusters. What do you do if it's a plumbing incident at home? Do you call the ghostbusters just in case it's ghost? Or do you call the plumber?
You call Dan Atwood, right? Great.
Well, can Dan do everything? Apparently so. He's got a utility belt.
So is Batman. That doesn't mean he can do everything.
I won't get Batman doing my plumbing.
I would. It'd be brilliant. Imagine Batman turning up.
I heard you've got a turd in your toilet. Remember my friend doing KRS once turd?
I do. KRS one.
Fresh.
In my U-bend, you suckers. Is it upstairs? Thanks, KRS. I'll just go and sort that for you now. Imagine how embarrassing that was for him.
My name's Chris. You're okay as well? Yeah, it's Chris. So weird, isn't it? I've done a shit. It's fucking blocked.
I've done a really big shit. I went to a big party with Raqeem and Eric B and a bunch of other people.
Not P did he?
I ate a load of food. And unfortunately, I've done a terrible size of...
This is true listeners. My friend who lives in Los Angeles, he's from England as well. And it's just like, yeah, one time. And he's a plumber. He just went around. He's just a plumber. He's on spec. So people ring up and he go, his company or whatever tell him where to go. It just turns up at house one day and it's KRS One, who's very well known, respected, loved rapper. So it's just a funny joke. When he told me, I was like, that's so funny.
It is funny.
I don't know if his ship was blocked. I can't remember. It might have been, I don't know.
Who knows? But anyway, Bill, if you could take us into World Of The Strange. Hi, welcome back to World Of The Strange. World Of The Strange. It's Word Of The Irish Strange Vampires. Strange Worlds. Well, as inspired by Holly, our Queen Patron.
Can I quickly say, before we get into it, I watched another Irish film, I know it's a good thing.
Oh, you did?
I did, just because I thought it would. I'm gonna give it a shout out, but it's nothing amazing, but it's kind, I don't want to say the movie it's like, because it kind of spoils it, but it's a found footage movie called Crone Wood, which you can find on Amazon about a man and a woman that go on a date and they go out to the woods and they're camping in an island. But it's got a lot of island, like forests and sort of scenery, so it's quite nice. Is it worth watch?
Yeah, maybe, kind of, it's nothing incredible, but it's right.
Yeah, there's some good Irish horror out there.
And there's certainly, I meant to say that earlier and I forgot, so.
And that leads me nicely on to, there's certainly a lot of Irish legends and folklore.
But my 31 list is quite special each year, and that hasn't, even though it's a horror movie, I'm not counting it, Cronewood, because it's like, you're not worthy of my 31 though.
Oh, okay.
Do you know what I mean? We're Blair Witch, yeah, absolutely.
Well, you will think of Ireland when you think of folklore, and you normally will go straight for leprechauns. Yes, okay. You will also think, perhaps, of the Banshee. There's obviously fairies and pixies and giants. So Ireland has its fair share of...
The Giant's causeway.
Yeah, there's a fair share of folklore. But one thing I never knew of until Holly put me on to it, and that will lead us on to our next review later on, which is based on this legend, is the legend of the Irish vampire. Now, there's one main one I'm going to be talking of, but there is a second one I discovered as well. So I'll talk about both of these. And these are apparently based on real people from 2000-odd years ago in Ireland.
Now, the one on the main one I'm going to be talking about is the legend of Abbotac, which is the main vampire from the next film. Spoiler alert, it's a vampire film. But you'll know that if you're going to watch it. Abbotac. So let's talk about him and where he came from. So as I've said, he is 5th century. Apparently, he was a dwarf.
It's a little person vampire.
Yes, an Irish dwarf vampire.
It'd be like Eddie Munster, Tagger Eddie Munster, Lost Boys.
Now, what's interesting is on a side note, before we get into the details of his story, of Abbotac's story, Bram Stoker was Irish. And it's come to light recently, that actually Bram Stoker may well have been influenced by this legend.
Yeah.
Rather than Vlad the Impaler.
Well, if, like, growing up, you might have heard of the local folklore, definitely. Yeah.
Yes, because he was inspired by... So, he was born in 1847, Bram Stoker. And at that time, there was no internet, funny enough, Gav, in 1847. Was it then? It wasn't even there. But he would have been inspired by the legend, some other Irish legends, like I mentioned, fairies and changelings are another one. Now, vampires are like malevolent sort of fairies in a way. They're also supposed to be changelings. They can change from thing to thing.
Good changeling film, The Hollow.
The Hollow, that's a good one as well, yeah. But also, this legend will probably have inspired Bram Stoker as well. So rather than Vlad The Impaler and all the other things, it's most likely Abbotac, the Irish dwarf vampire, that would have inspired him.
Easy sport though, like what we're going to have here, like a vampire just biting groins. We need one that's full size. We're not having a party pack.
We need a Gary Oldman one.
We're not having a party size. Fun size.
Well, they've already got leprechauns. They don't need to, like, they need a bigger one, don't they?
They need a big one.
Well, you know, there's only so much that, um, Warwick Davies can do, although I'd love to see him play Abbotac. Wouldn't you? Yeah. Oh, hello there. I've come to bite your blood, suck your blood. He's done it in the leprechaun. He can do it in. Anyway, so Abbotac. Now, Abbotac is actually apparently Irish for dwarf. And he was first written about in 1870. A guy called Patrick Weston Joyce wrote The Origin and History of Irish Names and Places. And that's where he first spoke of the legends.
So the legend of this Abbotac guy and who he was, she's got a very interesting story. And again, this is said to be famous, real, like to, but it's over 2000 years ago. So we don't know. But I thought it might be fun just to listen to his story. And then as I said, I got another vampire legend from Ireland to talk about as well. So as I say, fifth century, he was very evil chieftain. So back then, they had all these clans. And he was the very bad, abusive, horrible chieftain.
Apparently, even though he was small, everyone was really, really scared of him. People also said that he apparently practiced the dark arts. He loved torturing people and doing lots of nasty things. He suspected his wife was having an affair, and he decided to try and catch her in the act. So he climbed out of a bedroom window of his castle to try to spy on his wife. However, he slipped.
Already, when he started, he was like, what are you doing climbing out a window? I'm going to see if she's... Is there not another way?
Did they have bedrooms 2000 years ago? I guess they did. Well, they had castles.
But come on.
Well, he slipped and fell to his death.
He was a fucking dickhead.
But so they found his body the next day, and everyone in the village, all the clan were relieved. Thank God he's dead, because we can just be normal now, not have him like torturing, murdering us. So they buried him standing upright. Why? because they because to bury somebody upright is really disrespectful, and they didn't like him. So they rather than bury him led down, they wanted to bury him upright.
But I should have fucking buried him bent over, with his pants down.
Hello, not a P. Diddy party.
Yeah, but that would be disrespectful, wouldn't it?
Well, unfortunately, in the morning, when everyone woke up, Abbotak was back.
I don't want to see dead ass though.
Abbotak had risen and he was there the next day, and he said, I'm really angry that you all did this to me, and I need someone. He had a bowl in his hands and he said, somebody needs to cut their wrists for me.
So he came back?
He came back and he said, somebody needs to cut their wrists open and fill this bowl with the blood. And they picked someone out of the crowd, pushed them forward, they cut their wrists.
Why me?
And he drank the bowl full of that person's blood. So they went to their enemy clan.
Did they? At the first point, they were like, oh, fuck, he's back in the worse.
Yeah, and he was even angrier.
He's back in the black.
because he'd been buried up, standing up, which was probably only three foot, based on his height.
So he'd done the bent over, put a banana in the towel pot.
So they went to the nearest clan, which was one of their enemies, and they said, look, look, peace, peace, listen, Apatuck's back, we thought he was dead. Please, can one of you kill him? because we're really scared of him.
Please. Is this like unforgiven or Clint Eastwood?
And the leader said, all right, I'll do it.
Clint Eastwood.
So he killed, he killed Apatuck for the second time.
How did he do it?
With a sword.
Right. Head chop.
They buried him up right again. They haven't learnt the lesson yet.
He came back, yeah?
In the morning. He's back.
So what did you, but the guy who killed him, he must be like, right, I'm fucking going back and do it again.
He was holding a bowl in his hand, and he said, I need more blood from you. How dare you do this to me? So somebody else had to fill that bowl with their blood, and he drank that. They killed him, he was killed again, and he came back again the next day.
Oh, come on people.
After three days of him coming back, they went to a local saint.
Free is a magic number. If you haven't sorted it by free, if you go into full, game over.
So they went to a local saint for help. What can we do? He's come back three times, keeps asking for blood, keeps drinking blood. What should we do? And the saint said, bear in mind, just on a quick tangent, real life, there are no... So Bram Stoker basically invented the legend of the vampire. But this is a 2000 year old folklore before all of that.
And every, as we've discussed, probably many, multiple times, if you go back in all the ancient civilizations, they've all got their own version of a blood sucking undead vampire. So it's very interesting.
You just got to watch Mario Bava's Black Sabbath to see the Wandaweike, or whatever it's called.
Yeah, it's really, it's really interesting. But the saint said, OK, here's what we do. Here's what you've got to do. He's already dead. That's the trouble, mate. He's undead. That's why he keeps coming back. So the only thing you can do here is stab him through the heart with a piece of wood from a yew tree. It's got to be from a yew tree, OK? Then you've got to bury him upside down.
Well, it's close to bent over.
It's similar to bent over. And then you've got to cover the grave with ash branches and thorns and then put heavy stone slabs on top of the grave. It's the only way you can keep them down there. You've got to do all that. So, the guy that had killed them the first two or three times said, oh, I'll do it. So, he fought him. He stabbed him through the heart with a branch from a yew tree.
They buried him upside down, put all the branches and everything on top of him, put some rocks on him and he never came back. Now, over the years, I think on the eve of his, the anniversary of his death or something, they would put more rocks on him to the point it's now this grave, this big pile of rocks, which we will talk about when we come to discuss the Boys from County Hell, because there's very significant scenery in that, which is the big grave, the big rocks.
And as I've said, Holly has been to this place before. It doesn't look like it does in the film, but it is a big couple of big rocks next to a tree. I'm just looking at pictures of it now. It's a very beautiful setting. So that is the legend of Abbotac, who, as I've said, is supposed to have inspired Bram Stoker, not Vlad the Impaler or any of that. That's coincidence because he'd never been to Transylvania. Bram Stoker probably never left Ireland really. You know, so it's really interesting.
Well, he did, because he came to England, wrote, he went to Whitby on holiday.
Well, okay, other than that, but he certainly never went to Transylvania.
No, so I reckon, yeah, if he's on a holiday in Whitby and he's in a hotel, because Sarah and I went and saw the hotel and the plaque on it and all this sort of stuff, and he thought, oh, I'll use this destination, and wrote the story there. Yeah, you're more likely, you're right, over where he was, taking all that idea, had it all done, it's like, oh, I'm going on a holiday, I've done it before, gone on a holiday to go and write stuff, because it's a really good time to do it.
Yeah, it makes sense, go over there and write it from that sort of basis, and just come up with other stuff, maybe looking over at the sea, is like, well, actually, I'll have someone come up with a story from where his location was. But yeah, cool.
And it's, you know, this is a story, a piece of folklore that was written about a long time ago, and it's, you know, it's not real, potentially, but then who's to say, there was probably a dwarf called Abbotac, who was not a very nice person, then he had to be killed. It's unlikely he probably came back from the dead and drank blood, but at the same time...
Chinese whispers.
Yeah. So that led me on to another Irish vampire called the, and I'll try and pronounce this correctly, because it's a Celtic word, two Celtic words, it's Darragh Duar, Darragh Duar, which she's also, it's a female vampire, she's also called the Red Blood Drinker, or the Red Blood Sucker, or the Red Thirst. And this is another one that's about 2000 years old as well. Beautiful, red-headed Irish woman.
Sexily there.
She was in love with a guy, but forced to marry another man, an arranged marriage her dad pushed her into, with a very abusive, rich sort of lord, who forced her into such depression that she just stopped eating and drinking, and sort of withered away and died. And basically she killed herself for not eating and drinking. But she did come back a year later. She came back because he remarried and was abusing a second wife.
So she came back a year later, and men were being lured to the woods that she haunted because of her beauty, this beautiful red-headed Irish lady. Come in to the woods. She was sort of, come on.
You're luring me, Dan.
And she would suck their blood. The first person she killed, she actually just sucked their life force, but she went on to then drink blood and really liked it. And there's not an awful lot on her other than the things I've already just discussed, other than the fact that when they finally staked her through the heart, they also buried her in somewhere called Waterford in Ireland. And every year after that, people put rocks on her grave to hold her down underground as well.
And you can go and visit that place as well. So it's really cool that there's a couple of really old, 2000 year old tales of Irish vampires, who I would never have guessed, never have guessed, never even heard of the Irish vampire until today, well, until this episode. It's fantastic, Holly.
It is. We're about to see the location of the Rocks. The first one?
The first one.
I was just wondering, is it north, east, south, west, you know?
Yeah, I got it here. I should have it.
The island is a very beautiful place. I've been there a couple of times, enjoyed it.
I've only ever been to Dublin, which is like a bit touristy, isn't it? obviously.
Yes, because I hang around Ballymoney.
I have to stop there because my internet is not working.
Oh, don't worry.
Right now it's working.
I was just intrigued. Yeah, really cool though. Old Irish vampires.
Yeah, I can't find the area now, but it's near Holly.
I'll have a look myself.
So Holly will probably that are. Yeah, it's really cool. Abbotac, A-B-H-A-R-T-A-C-H. So yes, that was World Of The Strange. That's going to lead us nicely into our next film, which is got elements of Abbotac in it. And a very different type of vampire who doesn't do the usual vampire things. Really cool. Can't wait to discuss it. So Bill, if you want to take us out of here, we'll... Oh my god, what's he got all over him? What's he got all over him?
Is that Diddy's oil? What? Oh, no, come on. Let's get into the trailer. We're not going there. No, it's not appropriate. All right. Here's a trailer for the film.
That's all the time we've got for this week on World Of The Strange.
Next week, though.
Hairless pets. That's weird. And if you get close enough, you'll hear it.
Can't we, you guys, go to anything better to do?
Nope, no we don't. This land belonged to Avertac. He drained people's blood and drank it like water. Like Dracula. Fuck Dracula. I'd love to know if there's actually anything under there. We'll find out soon enough. I saw something weird. Who's foot's that? Fuck this, I'm out! There's a vampire, oh my sake!
That wee fucker tried to bite me!
This isn't Dracula. People don't get turned from a fucking bite, they get turned by the stones from Abbotac's grave. Fucking move, will ya? We need better weapons. Are there any ideas in there?
What about Sun Knight?
I mean, that is the number one vampire killer.
Oh, come on, what are we supposed to do about this?
I have a few days' work for you if you're interested. Doing what? Babysitting. My brother died last year. He had a daughter, Olga. She keeps going out to the house where he dies. The place is in the middle of nowhere, and I don't like the idea of her being out there on her own. So 200 a day. She has to go to the house and keep her company. That's it. There's got to be more to it than that.
You didn't say anything about the house being on an island.
Anyone know you're here?
Byron said he killed himself. In the basement.
Is there someone down there? Are you gonna tell anyone what I asked you to do? She was mad.
I wouldn't do something like this.
Do you think he's gonna let you leave here?
Boys From County Hell, 2020. Sounds like a Western, doesn't it?
Yeah. Cowboys.
Yeah, and in some ways, it does remind me a little bit of Near Dark.
Pantera, Cowboys From Hell.
Well, it reminds me a bit of Near Dark at times. But anyway, Boys From County Hell, 2020. A crew of hardy road workers led by a bickering father and son must survive the night when they accidentally awaken an ancient Irish vampire. Whoopsie. Whoopsie. Directed by Chris Ball. Never seen this before.
No, I'd seen the picture because it's not a bad poster. But no.
Cards on the Table. I absolutely love this. I was pleasantly, very pleasantly surprised by it. It was highly original because I don't know the legend, which I talked about in World Of The Strange. But everything about this was original. The type of, the way the vampire kills people, which we'll get into. I also loved the whole father son dynamic. They've lost their mom, all that kind of stuff that was going on with it. And the funny little characters.
And again, there perhaps were some big little Shaun of the Dead-y type characters and stuff threaded into it. because unfortunately, that is like the staple of British type humor, isn't it? But this was just very good. And yeah, I'm very excited to talk about this, I think. Do you want to just give a quick overview or do you want to save it?
No, it's all right. I've not seen it before. Yes, it's all right.
It was all right. Okay. All right. Well, let's get into it.
To be honest, though, I saw this a little while ago and I've seen a lot of movies since. So as we go through it, I'm going to have my memory jogged a lot more.
Good.
I've been watching a lot of horror and making a horror movie.
Let's jog it, then. So Ireland is a very beautiful countryside. We start off with some very nice dark landscapes. just it's a lot darker in tone than Extra Ordinary and a lot more serious, in fact, even though it's got some comedy in it. But it's heartfelt, but a lot darker and a lot more serious. And we start off with an old couple watching TV.
Yeah, yeah.
Should we go for a drink at the Stoker? Oh, I like what they did there.
I really, really, really like one thing in this film, is this new law bringing in whenever a vampire is close, that you just bleed from somewhere.
Yeah, that's what I really loved about this.
because this first bit, when this old, old fellow's fucking bleeding from his eyes.
And his wife's bleeding from her nose.
Yeah, nose is like, I've seen that before, but the eyes like that much as well, and it looked, it was really, yeah, it was very well done.
So before we get into it then, so yeah, so with this vampire, he doesn't really bite you. He just, he's so powerful that your blood leaves your body, and you see these shots of blood trickling down streets or through rooms heading towards him, and he just sucks it into him that way. Like almost like ghostbusters 2, when the slime is sort of channeling towards the ego because it's taken all the negativity out of the city or the positivity out of New York. It's similar to that. It's just so cool.
I've never seen anything like it really. Yeah, so this whole couple of sat there, they start bleeding from their eyes and their noses, and the blood trickles out the room. Something comes in the room, they scream, and then it says two months earlier.
Yeah, I've just been watching while we were chatting on the train, obviously muted. It's getting me, remembering back on it. Yeah, it's quite fun. I think with this, I think where the other film, I thought was really well cast, I think this was okay cast. But what I remember, think of this movie is that I know like Jaws, you don't see Jaws to the end, but the creature vampire in this is so good. It's so good.
And they don't keep him, they keep him to the end.
But I'm gutted, because I, because it's so good, I would have been like an 80s horror flick, 80s monster, think mid 80s monster flick, you know what you get, you're going to see the monster all the way through doing killing. And I know it's, you know, like a sort of formula formulaic Friday 13th, kill, kill, kill, story, story, kill, yeah. But I would have loved to have seen this monster early. I think I was really gutted that I didn't see more of it, because it looks so good.
And sometimes there's no point. I know, like, they must have looked at it and designed it. At no point did they go, that's a shit monster, vampire creature. Look, everybody must have. That's incredible. In a way, they light it and they film it. So I'm gutted we didn't see more of the monster.
Well, it's a double-ended sword, isn't it? because you really appreciate the fact they don't.
If you were to go watch it again, you'd be like, I can't wait to get to the monster.
But also, it's so good when it is revealed that you do want to see them all the way through.
I wish we had had.
It's very incredible creature design. It is.
I'm gutted. Honestly, it's very much worth it for the monster.
And I don't know, man. I just fucking... Anyway, let's talk about it. I love this film. So yeah, we get a beautiful cello score over the fields with the credits coming up, and it's, welcome to Six Mile Hill. So that's the name of this fictional little place, Six Mile Hill. And the Stoker is indeed a pub. Now, this town is built on the legend of Abertac. Basically, their tourism comes from the fact that Bram Stoker may well have used Abertac, as we said, to write Dracula.
So the pub there is called the Stoker. It's got Dracula on the picture. And so there's a little bit of an American werewolf in London vibe at times to this as well.
Yeah, I agree. One thing of that kill last time, but it happens in other kills as well, you have overhead shots where the blood trickles out almost like tree trees, you know, like roots growing. Yeah, around if you're just overhead look down on a tree. And it's just new stuff with the vampire, which is nice because frankly, vampires like zombies are kind of boring.
Yeah, we've seen it so many times.
Those two, definitely.
But this is a different type of vampire. Like I've said, he doesn't suck your blood like that. He sucks your blood, but not like that. He takes it out of you. You've got no choice. If he's outside my house, my body will empty of all its blood and go out the door to him. Which is so cool. That's fucking terrifying. That's horrible. Yeah. because he doesn't have to step the threshold. Like the traditional vampire has to be invited in. You know, it's great. It's so good.
That is a really strong opening, by the way. Yeah. Really strong.
So we're in this pub, the Soaker, and there's a load of lads having a drink in there. These are going to be the people that we find out are our main guys. And a couple of tourists walk in.
It's very American welfare in London, isn't it?
And they're sort of talking about...
They're even playing darts.
Yeah, they're playing darts.
But that is generally the pubs, you know.
And they say to them all, what you're going to say to us, stay off the Moors. They're Canadian. And they say, no, there aren't any Moors here. This is Ireland. But don't go out there alone because there's some dangerous things. They're like, oh, would you give us a tour? And he's like, yeah, if you give us some money, because they haven't got any money to buy any more beers. So they get these Canadians to give them some money and buy them some beers.
And they take them on a little walk into the fields, don't they? Yeah. And they tell them the Abbotac legend, that Bram Stoker was inspired and all that kind of stuff that I mentioned in World Of The Strange. And they take them out to this grave, which is essentially a big part of rocks, which is supposed to be Abbotac's sort of grave. And he gives this very good speech, that the main guy in it, Eugene, he says, and it is said that if you get too close to the rocks, you will hear a noise.
And just as you hear that noise, your blood will leave your body. Go on, go and listen. So the Canadian guy goes over and he listens. And as he puts his ear next to it, their buddy, SP, grabs them with a scary hand and scares these tourists, and they run off scared. They all think it's very funny. Clearly, that's something they've probably done before. Very funny, very silly.
And they have a little chat about the main plot really, which is they're building a bypass, a big highway through this village soon, which probably means they're going to have to demolish this grave, and this piece of field, which is owned by one of the guys in the one of the main guys. So, you know, that's going to happen. It's gentrification is what happens. Roads get, you know, go through things, and yeah, it's shit.
But obviously, the whole village is gutted about this, because that's their tourism. That's what they're known for, this little village. It's this little gravestone, and people come here from all over the world.
We turn up in the morning, it's basically one of the lads from the pub, his dad turns up with a load of cement, I think, it's a cement mixer.
Yeah, Eugene. So Eugene and Francie.
Have they bought a place to do up? Is that what they're doing?
No, that's so, Francie is the dad, and Eugene is the son, and the mum died.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's taking them cement, but was he taking them cement? What's that for?
So because they work together, but because basically Eugene is doing up the house that his mum died in.
Oh, okay.
Francie hasn't set foot in there since the day his wife died, and he won't. So there's a huge divide between father and son, because the son still wants to keep doing up the house, and the father doesn't want anything to do with it, and they've never talked about mum dying. There's loads of unspoken grief and stuff between them. So yeah, the son carries on living at this house.
The dad says like, you know, how's it going here, blah, blah, blah. But he says, if you want a job, I've got your job. He doesn't say what the job is, but we do. Spoiler, we do find out that his dad is basically working on the road, which is going to be on the bypass. Which nobody likes, but at the same time, when you got to do a job sometimes, you got to do a job.
He says, this will be good money for you, Eugene, if you want to help me with it, just bear it in mind.
I'm saying though, but be PDD's bodyguard or security, that's not a job if you got to do a job. Sometimes, some jobs you shouldn't do. But this one, unfortunately, might be a situation where there's not much work around, you got to do some work, there's work here, let's get six months of work. I'm self-employed, I know where it goes.
Eugene is working on the house and the surrounding buildings. It's like an abandoned farm that his mum had. And he's in the barn, and in the barn, there's a hole in the ground. And he's down in the hole in the ground, and in the wall, he finds a skull. So he takes it out, and he thinks, I wonder what this is? And he keeps it for later to show somebody else that he knows, who's the doctor, who's like the mortician.
But then he goes off to a football match, because he plays football, just like amateur football match. Off they go. And him and his buddies see the bodies of that couple being put out of an ambulance into George, who is the local Italian mortician's, place where he will do all the autopsies, et cetera. So they've already seen, oh, that's weird, that the old couple have died. That's weird. And he says, oh, while I'm here, George, I've got this skull. Could you tell me how old this is?
And he's like, no, I can't. I can't tell you that. I'm not that kind of, I'm a mortician. I can tell if somebody died, if they died in the last week. But I can't look at a skull that's a couple of hundred years old. Don't know anything about it.
Well, worth a try. I wouldn't know who to ask.
Who else is he going to ask in the village? Do you know what I mean? That local policeman isn't going to know anything, is he? He's an idiot. I love that policeman though. Eugene goes and has a shower. And his dad scares him in the shower. He opens up, what are you doing having a shower in my house? He's like, well, I've got no hot water in the house. I'm doing up.
Well, he walks up to him with a skull on his face. He opens up the skulls there.
Scares the shit out of him, as you would.
At this point, it's really weird. The dad stays there for a way long time.
I know.
It's like really like it's past all could to the point of what is going on here. Not saying that he wants to look at his winky, but it's all a bit weird.
Well his dad ends the scene by saying, well, I'll pick you up in the morning to do that job with you. And what are you doing tonight? He says, I'm just going for one drink in the Stoker with my friends. It would just be one. Cut to the Stoker. And they're on the absolute razz, aren't they? Having a right old party.
Every person says just one. That's more than one.
One is always about six. I'm just going for a quick one after work. It's always about six. So while they're in there, one of their friends, William, reveals, he's leaving, he's leaving the village. I'm going to go to australia traveling. And they're like, oh, all right then, Ponce, you're a bit of a Ponce. You know, you think you're better than all of us, don't you? And he's like, well, I just want to get out of this village and go and see the world, I want to go to australia.
And he's hammered at the end of the night, and he can barely stand up, and Eugene says to him, you're going to be right walking home. How are you getting home? And he says, I'm just going to walk, take a shortcut through that field, you know, where the big vampire grave is. And he says, oh, I better walk you home because I've got a torch. So he walks him home, and they're walking through the dark fields.
And they get into a bit of an argument because they're like best friends and they're going to miss each other. And they have a bit of a punch up almost. And then they say, you know, oh, sorry, you know, we didn't really mean that. But out of nowhere, Gav, we hear, look out, it's escaped.
Yeah, it's pretty out of nowhere, really, isn't it? This was again, actually, this is very much reminded me of American Wealth in London. You got these two people walking through the field at night time. And then an incident of a large animal happens.
Yeah, a fucking bull.
just gouges, gouges.
Well, first of all, he falls back against the rocks and he cuts himself on the rock.
Yeah.
And then the bull gouges him and kills him. This is just a freak accident that the bull.
And so the other kid's going to blame, isn't he, for bringing him through the field?
Yeah, because George the Mortician, that was his son, William, who was about to leave for australia. And he's like, Oh my God, my boy, my boy. And he looks, but what he doesn't know is that Eugene is looking down at the ground and he sees the blood doing that thing.
But before that, they have a little punch up and that's where he gets his hand cut on the rocks. He falls backwards.
That's right.
Yeah, that's right. And that's really what is the catalyst.
And Eugene sees the blood trickle away as he's lying there dead after the bulls gouged him. Cut to funeral.
Well, cut to police and ambulance. So obviously, the incident happens at the funeral.
Yeah. And the blood, as I've said, you've got to remember that blood's been trickling away and sort of sucked into the ground. And Eugene's witnessed it. So yeah, the police, the ambulance, et cetera, and then the funeral. Everyone's very sad. And they have a wake in the Stoker. And the barman says to Eugene and his best friend, SP, he says, you guys are banned from the Stoker because it's all your fault that he died. I heard you two were pissed and had a bit of a punch up.
You know, and he's like, well, it wasn't me, it was the ball. And he's like, no, it's your trouble. Get out, get out of my pub, go and drink somewhere else. But there's nowhere else, obviously, it's the only pub in the village. So they go and have a drink in the back of a van with some tinnies. That's where SP sees the skull. And he's like, what is it? I just find it in the barn underneath. And he says, I think I'm going to have to go and work with my dad because, you know, now William's dead.
It's all a bit shit. My dad's offered me money to work on this bypass. And SP says, if you work on the bypass, everyone in the village is going to hate you even more than they already do, because you're going to be responsible for tearing through that field, taking out that grave that brings us toro-sism. Tough, because the next day, the construction begins on the field. And they're starting to excavate that field. Yeah. What are we going to do with the stones?
I don't care what you do with them, but I want them knocked down and tossed as soon as possible. Throw them away. So George and Eugene talk a little bit at the rock pile, and he says, are you all right? And he's like, no, I'm not all right, actually. My son died because of you. Yeah. And now I've heard that you're going to take down this rock pile, the only thing that brings tourism into this village. So there's huge tension between them.
As you can imagine, there would be in a tiny village where there's only a few people and everyone knows each other, like where you live, Gav, or used to live.
Well, I haven't moved. I'll move in a few days.
You will be in a few days. Gav's moving, everyone. It's exciting times.
It's my last time recording in this place. Oh, I'm not that bothered to listen to fucking co-op radio on loop, playing the same songs over and it gets about two minutes in, it fades out and the next song comes in. It's like, oh my god. Carry on.
So all these sort of construction workers, including Eugene, his dad, a drunk old guy called Charlie, they're all looking at this big pile of rocks and they're all sort of saying, well, who's gonna do it? I don't wanna do it. because even though it's a legend, one of them actually says, I don't wanna accidentally raise a cheeky old vampire, so I'm not gonna do it. So in the end, Eugene says, all right, I'll do it. So he gets behind the wheel of a JCB and he knocks the stones over.
There's a bit of a hole under the ground. So it's begun, Gav. We've opened up the grave and it's nighttime. And Eugene and Claire, his female friend, there's nothing between them, they're just friends, which is quite refreshing. They're having a chat about potentially Eugene says, well, I might do what William was gonna do and I might go to australia. We'll see, we'll see, okay. It turns out his mum died of a freak chainsaw accident.
Okay, now that links into the real Abbotac legend, which apparently was that there was a tree near the rocks in real life and somebody went to cut the tree down and the chainsaw banks back off the tree, cut their hand off like it's protected by an evil force. That's a real part of the legend I've got to mention. Now, they say to Charlie, we're going now and there's probably going to be, there's going to be protestors coming.
Yeah, basically, they've got his old foe is a bit of a pisshead.
Well, he gives him a bottle of whiskey as payment.
Yeah, so he's going to get a drink now and fall asleep or wake up in a puddle outside the site. So anyway, leave this fellow here to look after the place. You know, potentially, there might be some protesters. That's it. It's not like he's like mad security.
He's a man in his early 60s. He looks like he couldn't fight a fly.
I worked in a bank a couple of days ago, and the security guard, there's signs to be there with me. Like a company's page has turned up, and I did a bit of work. He had a walking stick, I'd say, I'd say 79. It's like I'm all up for giving elderly people jobs. But what the fuck is this guy going to do if I decided to fucking do something? I guess he's just opening a door for me, because it's like, I was like, what the hell? And he walks so slowly, bent over for a walking stick. Weird.
Anyway, so this guy, they've got him basically doing the same thing, but instead of a walking stick, he has a bottle of booze.
Paying him in whiskey.
Yeah, and he's gonna sit there.
And he sat there, and so he sat there, and obviously, they've opened up this grave, so somebody may or may not have come out of the grave.
Yeah, and he hears noise. This is a little bit like I really enjoyed that story in a ghost, ghost story? No, ghost, you know, the British one. It was a stage show. I've seen the stage show.
Yeah, a ghost story, I think it's called.
Yeah, it's not the black and white, or the ghost story.
I know the one you mean with Martin Freeman in it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That bit where they got the security guard. That's a good one. Yeah.
So here's a noise, and he thinks it's protestors. He starts shouting, if you are here to protest, then I've got to tell you, you're not going to get anything. You need to leave. And we, as the audience, see somebody just behind him in the shadows. You don't know who it is. And again, this is the vampire that they don't show us until the very end, which is great. But you want to see more of it after you've seen this.
And then he goes back in the cabin, and then we just see blood splat all over the window inside the cabin.
Yeah.
So morning comes, the rest of the guys arrive back to carry on working on the field. Oh, the gates are locked. Where's Charlie? Oh, he's probably pissed, pissed somewhere in a ditch, knowing Charlie. God's sake. And then they realize that the rock pile is back up. The grave has been re-built.
They must be assuming either protesters have come along or Charlie's done it, pissed.
Pissed. I'll just put this back together.
Ah, fuck him. I'm going to do it. Or I'm just going to put one. I'll do another. Yeah.
So his dad says, look, knock it down again.
They still can't find Charlie.
Let's carry on. We'll try and find Charlie. Nighttime comes and they still can't find Charlie. And his dad says, right, Charlie's pissed. Let's take him home and he goes, no one can find him. And he goes, he's right behind you. There he is.
And he's all weird. He's all sort of... Dad's obviously assuming that he's pissed.
So he gets him in the van, Eugene, and he's driving the van. And Charlie goes to bite him.
Well, we're set up and the lad's like, oh, I'll fucking take him home, whatever. Put him in the car. And the dad's like, all right, thinking he's just pissed, whatever. You fucked up hiring him. That's your fuck up. So just drives off and just drives straight into one of the like, forklift trucks, like straight in. And they're like, what the fuck are we doing? His dad's like, what the hell are you doing?
He says, you fucked up the van, Eugene.
He's like, are you trying to bite me? He's like, what? And then he gets out. And then it all, at this point now, we're in a horror movie.
And then the floodlights all go out, because they've got these big floodlights on the field. Gabriel is snatched. So one of the characters, Gabriel.
That classic...
Now, the girl, Claire, she instantly suspects something here. She's like, what do you mean he tried to bite you? Where did he try and bite you? On the neck? So she's already thinking... She's like George Clooney, dust of Dawn. She's like, no, I might not believe in them, but it sounds like we've got a fucking vampire situation here. You know what I mean? Her brain's already going there. plus all the floodlights have gone out.
My note says, try to bite you then. Dad interrupts like a cunt. It's my note, but I don't know why. Is his dad a bit cunty in it?
A little bit. A little bit grumpy. They find Gabriel's body and he's got a wound on his neck. Of course he has. Claire finds Charlie, and so she uses the measuring pole with a big spike on the end, that Francie, the dad, has just bought, and she stabs it through him. And he sees Charlie with the poles sticking out of him, still walking at them, rather than sort of say, oh my god, he's undead or anything. He says, is that my new pole? He's really angry that his pole has been used.
So yes, perhaps he is a bit cunty. But Charlie continues to come at them.
I find him as they're talking.
And he says, the dad, France, he says, for fuck's sake, he must be on that crack or something. And he's like, dad, I don't think this is drugs.
I remember, okay, now I remember this film. A lot of it, I was, the gore and stuff and those sequences are really good, but the action and tension sequences are not very good, like the way these have been shot. I felt there's a lot of wide shots of seeing them all. And I wanted more sort of close up for the action and real tension, do you know what I mean? Real tighter shots. And I remember going, it's kind of really good to hear the gore, but yeah, it's just not as intense as it could be.
But you probably enjoying it, you're probably going to be, I'm sure.
Well, Claire eventually used the JCB to bury him under loads of dirt.
Were you just going with it?
Was I?
Yeah, did you not? cause the action sequences?
No, it didn't take me out a bit.
Okay.
cause I was just so excited because it was a fresh take on the vampire legend, but done in a...
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, just these sequences here, just this here. I didn't feel the action was done well enough. I mean, this was not.
I thought it was good. So, you know, okay, in hindsight, now you're saying that. Yeah, okay, I can see what you mean.
There's a lot of wide shots. It should have been a lot tighter. And I don't know why they weren't.
It's not an Abigail type. Vampire or 30 Days of Night type action scenes, but I felt for the small town setting, it worked.
Oh, yeah, it was really just this sequence here.
And I will name check 30 Days of Night, because this does feel a lot like an Irish 30 Days of Night in some ways, although it takes place at one night. This film feels like a bit of a mix of near dark and 30 Days of Night in some ways. And if you when you've seen this, guys, you'll perhaps understand what I mean by that. But yes, Clare buries Charlie under dirt and he's still coming at them. So they put the stones on top of him like they did to Abbotac in The Legend.
And Eugene says, Look, I got to tell you what I saw. I saw the blood the night that William died. I saw the blood being drained into the ground, like something was sucking it in. And the dad's like, Are you telling me you think there's a vampire? You tell me you think Abbotac is real? And then Charlie's foot sticks out the ground and he's still coming at them. And he says, A fucking vampire on my work site. His dad's just angry. He's like a typical foreman.
just angry that he doesn't care what the thing is. It's just, it's on my work site.
Yeah, another thing I don't want to comment on, but another thing, like I bet on paper, the dialogue, some of the gags are pretty good, but they didn't really make me laugh. I was like, oh, I bet on paper it came across a lot funnier. Do you know what I mean? And some of the delivery of the actors, I think the comedy could have been a bit better.
I do think it's worth a watch when you're not reviewing it, this one.
Yeah, I was actually going to say, with the other one, I've seen it, with this one, I was thinking, as we start to talk about, I was thinking, wouldn't mind watching it again, not looking at my iPad, taking notes down, being critical of the film, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, the nearest house is George's house, the mortician who lost his son, William. So they go there and they knock on the door and they're just all barging into his house. And the wife, who's lost her son, obviously, sat in the chair, pulling, she's just staring into space. She's not talking, she's not saying anything. And they basically say to him, look, something crazy is going on in the field, maybe a vampire, we don't know, but we're going to take your Land Rover now, George.
And he's like, oh, no, I'm not really going to be able to stop you, am I? And when they get in the Land Rover, they find an empty bottle. And they think, well, this is Charlie's bottle. What's going on then? Has someone been here? Who's been in this house? And Eugene goes back into the house and he goes in and checks the morgue drawers. He finds a dead dog that's been nibbled on. And then George pulls a rifle on him. Yeah. And he says, great line here. He says, I need you to leave my house.
Otherwise, you'll find out the terrible truth. So he's hiding something. And he says, you know, the good room, which is like a room for like, that they have in a morgue, where you can go and pray and have some faith. He says, you know, the good room. And I always told you to stay out of it. It's time for you to go and have a look at what's in there. So Eugene goes, and the door has been barred up, and William is in there, undead.
The man that was killed in the field at the beginning has been kept by his dad behind bars as a vampire. And it's horrible, not nice, but he doesn't know what to do. He's kind of like brain dead, but serious. He's like, I don't know what to do.
He won't die. We do sort of, he explains what happened, and you have a sort of flashback to when he was, his son died.
Yeah.
And him being like, I want to do it. Basically saying he wants to do the autopsy with his wife. They're going, oh no, no, but the acting on the wife here is really fucking good. This woman just saying, she's basically pleading him not to do it. It's such good acting. It really stuck out. I was like, that person is a really good actor.
because considering they just showed that his son is a vampire, just before he goes into this backstory, they're all looking like, and you can hear screaming, and as everyone discovers Williams is a vampire. And then George just goes, cup of tea, which basically means, I'll tell you what happened. So, yeah, he brought the body home to do the prep for the funeral and realized he wasn't dead, he was undead. And it's because of the stones. The stones are what turns you. It's not teeth.
All the legends are wrong. It's actually the stones of this vampire's grave that will turn you. They're sharp. And if they cut you, that's what happens. We get a little cutaway scene of two kids smoking weed. And they see someone in the distance and he's like, whatever you're looking for, pervert, we're just friends. We're not. Nothing's going to happen. And then his stitches in his neck burst. She's like, what's happening?
And all his blood starts pouring out of a recent injury on his neck and heads towards this person in the shadows. Again, it's so cool that we... Yeah. Why haven't we ever seen this before in a vampire film? It's really cool. excuse me. So, yeah, we found out what happened. So he kept William in the room. He didn't want to kill him. We didn't know how to kill him. So he went off and he got Charlie. He actually brought Charlie to William and kind of fed him to his son.
And so Charlie wasn't killed by Abbotac. He was killed actually by George. It was George that was lurking in the background. He's doing that for a sudden. He says he starts crying. And again, the act and he says, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. And starts crying. It's like, my God, where's all this drama coming from? It's amazing. What happens now? Oh, Francie just leans over because his son's going, Dad, give him some sympathy. He just gives him a little pat on the shoulder.
Like, you'll be all right. You'll be all right. Yeah. It's like, well, he won't. His son's an undead vampire locked in the room in the house. But there we go. So we get that George Clooney scene again now. Right. How do we kill vampires? What do we know about them? Sunlight, stakes. So SP is like the big beardy guy. He's like, well, we could get some stakes. I could make some stakes out of loads of wood. So they just start like going straight in, like that dust Till Dawn.
We might not believe in them, but it's real. So we better deal with it. And I love that. I just love it in films where they just embrace the bat shit, like whether it's a werewolf, a vampire zombie. And I'm like, this is the situation.
Yeah, this is what we've got to deal with. Here's the plan.
Yeah. So they say, right, we've tried everything. We've tried burying them under stones. What about decapitation or how do we know that will work? Let's try on William. So Francie says to Georgie, what kind of tools have you got in your shed? And they set up this like basically the corridor. They put loads of metal frames and fences down it. And the plan is to let William out of the room, let him run down the corridor.
And for his dad to behead him with an ax, to see if that works and kills him as a vampire. But also he's going to have to behead his own undead son.
Yeah.
Pretty full on. So he's got the ax and Eugene is the bait. He lets him out and he starts coming down the corridor towards him. And he goes, come on, get me, come on. I'm the reason you died, come on. But mum stands up.
I know.
And says, come to you, dear old mummy.
And just gets bitten.
She gets bitten. It's really sad. So they all run and get in the Land Rover. George manages to shoot his undead son and says goodbye, son. And then his son kills him. And the policeman wakes up. And he goes, oh, yeah, we forgot to mention, there's a really inept policeman in this village. And when they first get into George's house, and they've seen the vampire, they ring him up.
They did. And he says, oh, really? You should ring 999.
He said, if you've got an emergency, it's 999. But what is it? He's like, look, there might be someone in the village acting shady, keeping to the shadows, up to no good basically. He says, what does he look like? He says, tall and dark skinned. And he's like, that's not a crime in this village. We're very welcoming in this village. He says, no, just promise me you'll look out for them.
Are you about to say when a policeman pisses blood?
Yeah. So the next shot is of the policeman pissing blood.
Reminds me of Bloody Shadow of Death. Yeah. The other Dan.
And I knew it was coming because he gets up in the middle of the night and we know that this vampire can pull blood out of your body without even having to be near you. And he starts weeing, but the stream of urine goes bright red. And he looks down, as any man would, if he saw that and goes.
I've only once had this. And I was actually in the doctors doing a urine sample. So I was like, I'm in the right place.
jesus Christ. So William starts hunting for them around the house. because they're back, they're still in George's house. And they've got a really good plan here, because he goes into the room full of bodies, this vampire, and he starts looking like, where are they, where are they? And he opens the morgue drawers. And in there is SP with a nail gun, who nails him a couple of times. And then they chuck him in a coffin, and they manage to nail it shut.
However, sadly, SP has been very badly injured in the rib section, he's got like a great big gash with his guts hanging out. And he sat there with it, like a hero, Gav, he sat there with a can of beer, drinking his last drink, about to die. He says, my dad always said I die on the sofa with a beer in my hand. Looks like he's right. And he dies. Eugene takes a sip of his beer, and he says, this is all my fault, so I'm gonna fix it. His dad snaps him out of it.
He says, well, let's do this together, then. So they carry the wriggling coffin outside and put it in a hole.
Yep.
And this is where you get the shot you mentioned earlier, Galf, of the town. The town now has been decimated. Something is working its way through this town. And you can see the tre- literally the trail of where it's been, because all the blood has been drained out. There's people lying in the gutters, there's blood coming out of people's doors and letter boxes, and it's all leading somewhere.
The barman gets it, doesn't he?
Yeah, the barman's there, he gets a nosebleed, he collapses, everyone in the pub does. And we then see the old couple from the start.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So basically a nice way of just showing us what happened.
Yeah, it catches back up. So we're down to Claire, Francis and Eugene now, driving a big sort of JCB truck thing through the town. They're on a mission. They go and see Claire's mum, who's bleeding. She's collapsed and everyone, everywhere they go, they're like, there's people everywhere, blood's everywhere. Where is this blood flowing to? It's flowing to the barn where you find the skull. That's kind of the nest, really, isn't it? Well, maybe the nest, like where it keeps its food basically.
And they see someone collecting the blood. Well, we, as the audience, see somebody in the blood collecting in the darkness, probably our first glimpse of Abbotak, would you say? just about see him, don't you, in the darkness? So, Francie enters his dead wife's house that he hasn't been in since she died. And they have this kind of chat, they both miss her.
There's a bit I didn't get where Eugene looks at a picture on the wall, and it's got like a certificate, and he said, Oh, mum's surname is, and I don't know if that was supposed to say that she's somehow related to the Abbotac legend. I didn't really get that bit, I must say that was a bit confusing for me. And I even tried to look into it like in the trivia and stuff. I couldn't find anything out about that.
And then there's a really funny moment where the dad leans forward, and Eugene thinks, oh, he's first hugged with my dad in years. And the dad goes, whoa, what are you doing? I was just going to shut the window. jesus Christ. What do you think this is? His dad's such a horrible old kid, isn't he? But then he's not, because he punches his son to knock him out, to hide him under a sheet. So although he's punched him, he's doing it to help him.
And Abbotac comes into the house and quite quickly is beheaded by Framsey.
Which is just like, oh, okay, but obviously the vampires could come back.
Let's discuss Abbotac, because how is he looking, Gav? What's he sort of describing to us? He's quite... He's a bit like the crow, in a way. He's got that kind of gothic sort of slender... Like the crow meets Nosferatu, almost. He's kind of... But also a bit zombie-ish.
I don't think they got... Oh, yeah, there's a picture.
Describe him to us.
It's like a walking dead zombie.
Yeah, I suppose he is. He looks like...
It looks... Okay, you know back in the day when you did History, and then they show you the classic body found, and it was all spinning tar or swamp. It's got that really skinny brown, levery look to the skin. That's what it looks like, but kind of real walking dead. See, the picture I'm looking at is obviously a publicity picture, and it's got light above it, so it's really showing it. Totally definitely, really.
That looks really good, but when they've done it, they haven't put it in the light, maybe a bit of moonlight bouncing off it, but they've lit it really well in the movie and makes it look really good. So maybe I'm wrong, maybe just having it at the end is the best thing to have because otherwise you'd have to show a bit more, but I don't know, it does look so good. But it looks really good here, but it looks like a zombie here.
It's a great vampire, and there's an amazing scene now, one of my favorite scenes actually, which again, I've probably never seen this before, that I can think of this specifically. After Francis beheaded Abbotac, he goes over to wake up his son, and he says, I got him son, don't worry, it's all right. And behind in the background, you see the head sliding along the floor.
Yeah.
The hand of the body grabs it and slips it back on the neck. I've never seen it, and it looks so good as well. And it's just in the background as well. So, you know, they can get away with wires or however they did it, you know.
And they shot it quite low to granite times. It made it feel very much like dog soldiers looking in hide.
And again, that's another film that this feels a little bit like dog soldiers. It's got that gritty, earthy, you know, rough roughness to it. Now, sadly, dad gets chopped in the leg by Abbotac now, because not only is he a vampire that can pull your blood out of your body, he's also got a fucking axe now. He picks up an axe and he chops dad, Francie, in the leg. So they sort of run off as best they can, although his dad's got like half his leg has been almost severed off.
They run, how do they get out the window, Gav?
I don't know.
Well, something we've all wanted to do as kids, when you walk past a building site, there's a rubble chute.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, they jump down it, don't they?
And they go down it and it's exactly as you'd imagine.
Ow, ow, ow!
Bang! On the floor at the bottom. My kids, there's a house near me that was being worked on for about three months. Every morning we go on the path all the way to nursery school, and they'd always go, daddy, daddy, when can we go on that slide?
Yeah, of course.
I'm like, oh, there's rocks at the bottom of it and a big skip.
There you go, Jack, whee!
And he's broken all his bones.
So the sun's coming up as well. Yes, so obviously for us traditionists, we're like, oh, that's good, they're safe.
Yes, so they go to hide in the barn, hoping that they will lure the vampire into the sunlight.
I wonder if he fucking falls into the hole in the shit. For fuck's sake, guys.
Yeah, but his leg's almost been cut off. He's not very good on his...
Oh, all right, all right, he's hobbling in the...
So France, he falls into the hole.
The sun doesn't kill the vampire at all, so that's great. They've changed it. It's like, oh shit.
Well, when he walks into the sunlight...
He's a demon or something.
Eugene just goes in typical Irish fashion. You just can't kill this cunt, can you?
It looks decent as well.
He looks great. So Eugene jumps into the hole with his dad.
I do think, though, they should have made this movie, this dude, I am thinking again now, the threat all along. Do you know what I mean? He should, the vampire thing, should have been Jason Voorhees, I think.
He does a fucking cool thing here, Gav. He's still got an axe, this vampire. Did you realize what he was doing with the axe when he jumped down in the hole with them? So he's underneath the barn and he's banging this axe against the metal girders holding up the floor underneath this barn. What he's doing is he's using it as echolocation. So I realized he was banging it and he was tilting his head and he's listening for the sounds to bang his back.
It's almost like a descent creature.
A little bit.
With a walking dead creature.
But don't forget, vampires can turn into bats that have echolocation. So it's taking very small elements of vampire lore.
Yeah. So the vampire is going towards him, jumps in the hole where they are. But this is a really weird choice. Pulls his dad's leg off to stab him. Didn't need to do that. That's a bit much. I'm sure there's another thing, because it's only a bit of bone stabs in it. I'm sure there must have been something else could have stabbed him. It's just at what point, though, do you go, Jackie Chan never looks around the room and thinks a limb. There's a body. I'll take the limb off.
I'm trying to think if he's ever used a limb.
He's never used a limb. Jackie Chan hasn't. Jackie Chan's more resourceful than using body parts for weapons.
He might have used a prosthetic leg, I think.
But that's all right. I'm happy with that.
Well, basically, his dad says, look, it's hanging off anyway. Pull it off.
He doesn't. He just does it and his dad's like, whoa.
No, his dad says, God, do it. Yeah, do it, do it.
Well, and how does he how does he know what his dad's thinking? Is he like, what weapon can we use, son? obviously, the bone in my leg. My leg is the only way. It's not the only way. Silly.
So he pulls it off and he uses his really sharp thigh bone, that really thick bone, to impale the vampire.
Such a weird choice.
So this vampire's got a leg sticking out of his chest. And then they pull loads of earth down on top of him.
I have a massive issue coming up soon, later on. But yes, about what happened just then with the leg. But we're getting to that in a bit.
Loads of stones and earth buried on top of him. And then all the times people wake up and they're all OK.
Everybody's waking up, so it's just a village of the damned or some shit.
So the father and son bond again.
OK, here we go. This is my problem. So we cut to the morning and the dad comes out.
Before that, Claire finds him in the hole. She drops the ladder down and helps them get out. And then, yes, three months later.
So from the waist up, dad's talking to the kid, and the dad comes out and just kind of hobbles off, like he has a walking stick or something.
What?
Hang on. You pulled his leg off.
Yeah, he's got a prosthetic leg.
No, you don't see any of it. It's from a waist up.
Yeah, but they wouldn't have been able to afford. What?
But what? You don't see the prosthetic leg when you walk on. People still with prosthetic legs wear a pair of trousers and just walk along. It's such a weird choice. Or have him in the car talking to his dad and someone drives him away. Why all of a sudden waist up, he's just walking along. He had his leg ripped off and put into a vampire to kill it. So I had issues there. But sorry, that's very petty of me. But it's just like, what are you doing?
It didn't really ruin it for me. I guess it would have been cool to start with a shot of a foot and then a prosthetic, like a peg leg.
And then go up or something and go, oh, he's all right now. Yeah, it was just really weird.
just to sell it a bit, I guess in hindsight.
But again, I think it's the bloody filmmaker in me. I reckon over 10 years we've been podcasting, because I've been doing filmmaking more and more and more, I've probably got more and more fucking, oh, they should do this. But do you know what I mean? Gav, you're not directing the film, you're reviewing it.
Well back in the pub is, well, Claire and Eugene are discussing Dracula and the history, and he's like, he's never read Dracula, now he's read it all since this incident, and he knows all the history of Bram Stoker. And she's the one leaving for australia. So she's going to do what William and then Eugene thought he might do.
And he says, I'm going to carry on doing the house up, and when you come back from australia, you can stay over, I'll cook you dinner, there'll be hot running water and everything. She's like, I'll hold you to that. You'll still be doing it up, I guarantee. He's like, nah, it'll be done in a year when you get back. Did you hear what was on the jukebox when they said goodbye?
Was it the same track from earlier?
Nope.
What was it?
It was Dockens, song by Docken.
I've never done it.
You know the song. It's from Nightmare on Elstreet 3. Dream warriors. That was playing on the jukebox. That was so cool.
I don't know if I would have known the song.
You would know Dream Warriors from the Freddie... I was going to say from Freddie Mercury. Freddie Kruger. jesus.
Don't do that again. Basically, I'm making a music video in the next week or so, where Mark's dressed as Freddie Kruger. It's so weird. It keeps happening to me. This is the third time now. Mark's dressed as Freddie Kruger doing housework, and I'm doing it in the I Want To Break Free, where Freddie Mercury is dressed as a woman doing housework. And I'm copying that. I went to the comic convention. There was two models right next to each other for no reason.
Freddie Mercury and Freddie Kruger, models just next to each other. And then Monday night, I'm at the premiere of a music video we made for someone. Ben sends me a picture right between me and him. It's just Freddie Mercury, just a picture behind us, big pictures. I was like, what is going on? And you've just said that, got Freddie Mercury and Freddie Kruger mixed up. Weird, but that's the music video I'm making in the next couple of weeks.
Well, the film ends with Eugene and his dad, Francie, working together to do the house up. However, Eugene also, his new job is to keep an eye on Abbotak's grave, which is now under the barn. So whenever he can, he adds a few more rocks and a few more bits of stone to the pile. But what you don't see is as he gets out the barn and shuts the doors, they've also, for precaution, I don't know if you noticed this, did you see what was on the walls?
There's loads of stakes and swords and knives and guns all on the side of the barn. So just in case something goes wrong, they've got all the weapons. And that's the end.
Yeah. I think I like this is weird one. It must be really underrated movie. I think the issue with this is I don't think that name does it any justice. I think that name should have been something different and I think more people would have picked up on this.
I agree. I said at the beginning, jokingly, it sounds like a Western, but it does.
It sounds like it could be a comedy drama. It doesn't.
It could be anything.
You don't think it's a vampire, homage to vampire movies.
I don't know what a better title would be. Abertac, no one would know what that is really, unless you really knew the Irish legend. You know, it would do well in Ireland. And I think this world does do very well in Ireland.
They could just call it an Irish vampire story.
Yeah, I don't know. There'll be definitely something that you could call it. But I agree the title is a bit weird, but and it's only got a 5.9 on IMDB, but I just don't think it's I don't think anyone knows it.
I didn't know.
I've told so many people about it since watching it.
I'm sure after a few, some people check it out. I'm going to recommend this one higher than the other one.
Me too, this gets an 8 out of 10 from me. I give it an 8 out of 10.
You have your bloody own ratings.
Why is 8 high? I give films 9 and 10s. This isn't 8.
I think 8 and up is high.
This is a 3.5 out of 5.
I'll give this a 7.
Why are you laughing at me for saying 8 though? I don't laugh at you for saying 7.
You can laugh at me if I say 7.
I don't laugh at you when you give a film 3 out of 10.
I think it's because I'm so used to you saying 8 for most things.
No, no, no, no. I give Extra Ordinary, get 7 out of 10. Okay. Maybe a 6.5 to 7 out of 10. This is an 8 because on a re-watch of this, I should imagine it might drop down to a 7. But right now, I've seen it once. Absolutely loved it. It felt really original. It had some great humor in there. I might prefer this to Extra Ordinary, which was too, in my opinion, a little bit too quirky. This is a little bit more grounded.
And although it's about vampires, and that sounds weird to say, it just feels a little bit more grounded. The other one was a bit too quirky for me. The comedy was a bit... But I still really enjoyed it. But this is just like one of the better vampire films I've seen, a new vampire film. And I genuinely feel like it's got elements of Dog Soldiers, 30 Days Of Night and near dark in it. But with an original twist on vampires.
It's a decent vampire film.
Yeah, I think it's fantastic.
I think I know what it is. You and I obviously are different people. Isn't it weird? Everybody's different.
How many times do you give a 10 out of 10?
That's what I'm about to say to you.
You never do. What's the point of having a 10 out of 10? I always say people. No, don't trust me. I've got my right to say my thing. What's the point in having a score out of 10 if you never give a 10?
Yeah, I very rarely do, but I do. But for me, like, you know, I don't know. So 8 for me is probably like Apocalypse Now. Do you know what I mean? Something like that. So for me, 8 is really high.
What would you give ghostbusters 1?
Probably 9.
I don't know what I'd give them 10.
See, 10 for me, I don't know. It's got to be my favourite movies.
If you go on IMDb and go to your ratings and filter by top to top, you can find out. But ghostbusters, for example, is a 10 for me. Yeah, because it's a perfect film, in my opinion.
So that's why. So for 8 for me, it's really high. That's why we're different. That's why.
But a 7, if you're giving this a 7.
But I'd give it a 7. I think it's pretty decent.
That's really strong for you.
Yeah, there's a really good bit. There's a couple bits I feel like could have been a bit tighter.
For a film that only came out a couple of years ago that you've never seen before, that is high praise for you to give this a 7. And I'm being genuine when I say that, because, yeah, I do generally score up more than you. But a 7 out of 10 for the first time watch. And considering it's got 5.9 on IMDB, we both say it's a lot higher than that. I definitely recommend it to people. And I think more people should see this. What did you give the substance?
I don't know, probably a 9.
Yeah, me too. I gave that a 9.
I'm trying to see how I do this.
You go to your ratings.
I am. I might then, but I don't.
And then you just filter by...
By your rating?
Yeah.
Okay.
And then it'll tell you...
Oh yeah, okay.
So tell me a couple of films you've given a ten to.
For fuck's sake.
No, I can't. You can, you definitely can. because I do it often to look at what I've given like a one.
Yeah, I can't, I don't know how to choose that. So this is a boring conversation for the listeners.
Oh, there we go. But anyway, we both really like this. Between us, we give it a 7.5.
Jaws.
You know what, that's what we should do.
I've given it a 10.
Jaws is a 10, of course it is, yeah.
Oh, ghostbusters is a 10. Halloween first one's a 10.
I'd give that.
That's probably in. Actually, I'd probably change it now though, I don't know.
I wouldn't give that a 10. I'd give it like an 8.5 to 9.
Oh, I've got to change that. I put Gabe Garlagy into the Galaxy a 10. Why? I must have been, I think I was really excited when I first saw that movie.
Yeah, when you come out of the cinema.
That's why I always say- Each of these first movies we watched in the cinema.
That's why I always say, the first time I rate something, I always gonna rate it higher and I like to revisit stuff. because I know I'm gonna- Yeah, that's a 10 for me as well.
Got Big Lebowski.
No, I don't. I'd give that like a 7, 6.
And then I'm down to 9. It's like one cut of a dead. See, the thing should be a 10 and that's a 9. So I need to change that.
There we go. Well, there we go. You can do it. So there we go. So what we can say then is, let's put our votes together and it's 7.5 out of 10, which is really high, Holly. And both of these films are great. And if you've never seen either of them, I recommend them both. Hopefully we both do. They are very different. One of them is a quirky, light hearted, supernatural romp with a little bit of satanic stuff towards the end.
The other one is a very gory vampire, original vampire tale with a great vampire design. Yeah. And a really original way of sucking blood. And you've got to see it. You've got to see it to believe it. It's just that it sounds whack really with blood trickling on the ground. But they've done a great job. They've spent the money well on bad boys from County Hell.
But I think a better name would give it a better service.
Yeah. We'll have to have a scratch of a head so that would think like.
No, no, no. I have an Irish vampire tale.
No, that sounds whack. That sounds whack. It'll be something like, the trouble is, the place they... It's weird that it's called County Hell. Yeah. But then the place they live is Six Mile Hill. So what's that about? Like, it's got nothing to do. They don't live in County Hell.
No.
What they should have called it is It Came From The Barn. Well, that's already a film, you know. I don't know. Something. I don't know what, but blood, blood, blood lands. You know what I mean?
Let's stop. It doesn't matter. Anyway, listeners, check it out if you haven't seen it.
Go watch it.
Let's come back to the outro. And we're back again.
And we're back again. So, Holly, thank you so much for your movies, your picks, your support.
Different ones.
Yeah, really good. And especially to get some Irish stuff thrown in there as well, which I know would mean a lot to you. And some of our Irish listeners, Rachel and Big Dino and some of you other guys out there across the pond in the north and the south. Yeah, so hopefully we did those justice. We like them both. I know you were worried that we would like them both, and we did. They're very different films, but they're both great.
But especially Boys From Crazy Hell, that's a really good original vampire film for me. We just don't like the name as much for some reason. We were discussing that affair then. We still haven't come up with a good title, but let's move away from that. Holly, it's time for you to return the crane. Thank you. Pop that back in the box till next time. Sound effects, huh? And yeah, I hope that was great for you, Holly. Thanks again for all your messages and your support. I'm glad you got your DVD.
I sent Holly the two-disc special edition of Razor Blade Smile because I had to buy it. It was the only way to watch it when we reviewed it for a year or so ago. So there we go. So that was episode 165. Couple of Irish comedy horrors there. Gav, you're never going to guess what's next.
Um, no, I can't remember.
It's our Halloween special!
What are we doing?
Episode 166 is the franchise face-off.
Oh, okay, I remember.
Nightmare On El Street 5, The Dream Child.
Okay, I'm not the biggest fan of these Nightmare movies. Sorry, Nightmare fans.
And Halloween 5, The Revenge Of Michael Myers.
Oh, this is where we start going into silly territory with the Halloween movies.
1989, both of them. So these franchises weirdly mirrored each other's release years for a lot. But yeah, that will be the fifth time we've revisited that franchise. So yeah, I enjoy going through those.
Yeah, Nightmare movies, it's worth for myself going back through them. And hopefully, me and Robert England next year, you might be there as well. Well, hopefully, you never know, ladies and gentlemen, I might be doing a live podcast. I need to find out about that. I'm going to get him to say, Where do you keep the bourbon, bitch? Um, yes. So, you know, it's worth checking them out, I think, really. And the Halloween movies. Yeah, I guess it's worth reviewing them because we start going.
This is going to be going into The Man In Black.
I mean, I've got to say the fourth one.
He's The Man In Black, isn't it? In this?
I think that's in the next one, isn't it?
Oh, is it the next one?
Yeah, this has still got Daniel Harris in it.
Yeah, but I still think, no, I think this is The Man In Black.
Oh, OK.
And I think it's where all of a sudden they're just like, we're just going to do this. And it's like, who is this character? I don't know. And we never find out ever again.
He's like the bounty hunter from that Jason movie, just shows up with a cable hat and you're like, who the fuck is this guy? But I've got to say, number four, when we reviewed it last year, was actually alright. The fourth Halloween movie.
The fourth Halloween movie was alright though, yeah. But now we're all going into city territory.
Whereas with the Freddys, I fucking love them. I don't care. Like three, four, five. obviously, two, three is probably three and one of my favorites and I really like two for various reasons. It's such a strange and unique film. But I love them because they remind me of my childhood, the Freddys with the special effects and the dream sequences. So I just love seeing where we go with Freddie each time. There's always pop cultural references of that time within them. So that'll be fun to look at.
The costumes being my friend who the music video has been made for is in Africa and Ghana. And so the costume has been sent to my parents. So my parents keep ringing me up saying, Oh, there's another parcel here for you. And my mom's like, it's a jumper and something. It's like Freddy Krueger's jumper because he's getting a really good costume and stuff. I was like, yeah, it's going to turn up in parts.
That's gonna be good.
Ah, he's in Ghana too.
So that's our next episode, our Halloween episode 166. After that, just to keep the Halloween spirit alive, just as we enter November 167, we're going to be looking at the Exorcist 2, The Heretic from 77 and the Exorcist 3 from 1990. So we'll be rounding up the original Exorcist films. We won't probably really be covering any of those weird prequels.
And I'm, I'm glad at that point I will be, cause I'm moving on Monday. And at that point I should be able to get my movie collection out. I've got the Exorcist box set, never seen the second film.
It's crazy.
I'm not a big Exorcist fan to be honest, but the third one I do like. Yeah.
I like that over the first one. Two is great, but it's got...
I've never seen it. So I could be really... Honestly, I don't know. I have no idea what to expect.
It'll be fun to take it off for you though. And it'll be fun to take it off. I'll probably give it an eight out of 10, no me. Yeah. Shall I tell you what I've given the Exorcist to? Let me have a look.
And I'll probably be really negative.
I'll tell you now, hang on. I give it.
Oh, the tension listeners.
I know, I'm going to have to move it.
Drum roll.
Four out of ten, I've given it.
Oh, shiit.
Okay. But yes.
I don't know nothing about it.
That'd be episode 167.
Okay.
And then.
Oh, shit.
Episode 168 is Rachel's Patron Pig. And Rachel and me are discussing at the moment what she'll be deciding for us to cover.
Give us your favorite films, Rach.
just pick.
just your favorite films.
What do you like watching?
We'll just talk about them for you.
Comfort blanket films. Science fiction, horror, dark, something. But anyway, I'll keep pressing the buttons and she'll give me some pics soon. So that's the next three. We've got Halloween special, then the Exorcist franchise round up, and then Rachel's Patron Pig. So stick with us, guys. It's going to be fun. Halloween, October continues. Fun times, ahoy.
Ahoy!
Really enjoyed Boys From County Hill.
Boys From County Hill. Yeah.
Boys From County Hill.
Need a better name.
It's really stuck with me. And I'll definitely be watching it again, I think. But there we go. Let's do some housekeeping and then we can say our goodbyes to everybody. Are you ready for that, Gav?
Yes.
Good. I'm glad you are. So as always, we are the Podcast on Haunted Hill, and have been for 10 years a proud member of the Legion Podcast Network. We're also under the Deadbolt Media umbrella. More about that in just a moment. We are on Facebook. If you go to Facebook and type in the Podcast on Haunted Hill, you will find our Facebook page, which is super active this month. It always is every October, where everybody posts up what they're watching daily, weekly, whatever it is you want to do.
But it's always active anyway. So do come and join us over there. Legion also has its own Facebook page as well. Again, it's just Legion Podcasts. And that's where you can find all the other shows that are on the network. If you want to know more about Legion, go to legionpodcasts.com That's where you can find all our episodes historically, and all the other shows.
And you can email me in camp directly, our email address is the podcast on hauntedhillwoodoutlook.com to email us with any questions or queries, or any questions, medical questions we can help you with. We're trained doctors.
Probably put a hand at some of them.
Wherever you listen to us now is where you can continue to listen to us. We're on all the usual podcast platforms like Spotify, YouTube, Podknife, Podbean, Apple, Podcast Addicts, Etc, Etc. And we're on Instagram if you want to follow us. It's the podcast on Haunted Hill Insta, all one word. We use it mainly just to promote the shows, but we always check a link into the episodes. So that's another way you can find us as well.
Talking about Deadbolt Media, Deadbolt Films is our production company. We have a website, deadboltfilms.com. We have a YouTube channel, just search Deadbolt Films or you can ask us if you're unsure. You can always instant message me, by the way, on Facebook. I'm usually quite quick at replying to people. And we're on Instagram with Deadbolt. It's just Deadbolt Films or one word. And you can find out more about the comics that we've done and produced and published.
You can find out more about the short films, the feature films that we've done and are working on, the music videos.
Yeah, we're really busy. I'll say, if anything, the best way to follow is actually Instagram. If you're on Instagram, go on there. Deadbolt is the most up-to-date thing. because I'm actually in charge of it. And when we're out and about doing stuff, I snap pictures and I get people sending pictures. And I try to post when we do stuff. We're really active at the moment in a lot of things. So we're kind of interested. We're trying to get the name out there.
Like we're going to set up a mailing list and stuff. And we're doing a lot of comics, we're doing music videos, we're making a new film. We've got a couple of films in the pipeline, which are going to come out soon. So we're super busy doing shit. So we need people following us now actually. cause yeah, we're like a collective doing those stuff and obviously podcasts and yeah.
Yeah, because I also do a podcast with my lovely Sarah called The High Strangers. So hang on a minute. Whoa, that's not me, that's you.
I didn't even, I wasn't taking that in. Yeah, I do a podcast called The High Strangers with my lovely Sarah. We talk about weird and strange things. But yeah, recently I got a Deadbolt tattoo.
You did? Yeah.
Love the logo. First one I am to do it, but the others are coming.
And your last episode of The High Strangers had to, I had to have Google on standby to Google all the images as I was listening to it. It was about body modifications and I wanted to see, I'd seen a lot of the people that was discussed, but there was a few of them on there I hadn't seen. I was like, what the fuck are these people doing to their bodies? It's pretty mental. But yeah, that was Gav's last episode was about body, extreme body modification and surgery.
And finally, we are our patron as well. So if you'd like to support the show financially and help us continue to move forward and buy equipment and rent films and buy films that we need to keep things ticking over, then we'd really appreciate it. just go over to Patreon and search for the podcast, Haunted Hill. If you can't find it, just message me on either Facebook or that email address, which again, is thepodcastonhauntedhill @ outlook.com.
If you become a patron to the show, not only will you get your shout out at the end of each show, but you'll also get a free t-shirt sent out to wherever you are in the world. You'll get perks like your patron pick every three episodes. One of our patrons in order rotation gets to pick the two films that we review and tell us why, and send a message or whatever. Basically, where they're crying for the episode.
You'll also get access to an exclusive content by a patron, as well as our entire butt catalogue.
We release one of our old shows every Freaky Friday, although we're almost up to date now. But it's a hub to where you can get every episode. Yeah, everything is on there. You can go back and listen to them. Yeah, you can always access them. So thank you as always to our patrons who support us in that manner. We love you guys. We love all of you for listening. Yeah, thank you so much patrons. But to be fair, I think some of our early episodes are just the audio quality is not the best.
It is what it is. It's a shame. It was almost like some we should check out the ones which are really bad and say, shall we just do these films again? Shall we George Lucas them? Yeah, digitalize them. Yeah, just insert Jabba the Hutt into a scene for no reason. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. As a co-host. Yeah, before Bill Murray, it was World Of The Strange with Jabba the Hutt. So thank you to our patrons.
Thank you to Dante, to Don Collier, Matthew Godley, Jamie Jenkins, Kevin S. Fife, Sarah Kay, Rachel, R. Jamie Creedy, and Lex Buu, aka Holly. Thank you, Holly, again. And thank you, everybody. And just wanted to mention, actually, while we're mentioning our patrons, Jamie, sad to hear that you've decided to retire from podcasting, but... I didn't know this. Yeah, Jamie announced a few days ago. Life gets in the way, and that's that, really.
But she said she may pop up on the odd show here and there, but essentially she's retired for it. And if it wasn't for her, we wouldn't be doing this. Well, we wouldn't be podcasting. It would be actually... I'm not going to get into it again, the whole story. Actually, there would be a lot of people who aren't connected together now who are doing podcasts because I was making music for someone and they said, talk to this person. It had to be Jamie. So I did want to mention Jamie.
Jamie, do though, if you ever... because, you know, it's like filmmakers. I'm not going to do one more movie like Quentin Tantino. I don't understand how you can do that. I'm not going to do another movie. Then it's like, I've got to do a movie. If you ever feel like you've really got to do another podcast, or just like not podcast, but just get your voice on there and talk about film, give us a shout.
For your patron, if you want to, if you want to talk about a film you really like or you want to talk about, we could do that. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's very true. Well, we, because that's why I wanted to mention it, because Jamie is very special and she's, she's always been a huge supporter of us as well. Yeah, yeah. She messages us, you know, and says nice, encouraging things, you know. I love Jamie to bits. We do, we do. And we both appeared on her show, Liking It a while back as well.
That was good fun. I'm still a big fan of Devour the Podcast. Yeah, yeah. It's a great show. So yeah, that's it. That's all our patrons. I'll do another episode of Devour the Podcast. You can't entice her back. I'd love to. I just really enjoy that. She's made her statement. It's funny because that was back in the day when I first got into podcasting. I was only a couple of podcasts. I was still kind of deary, but I listened to it and it was a lot more like collective.
It wasn't such a everybody. It was a huge thing as it is now. So it was really nice having that. And I had a podcast with David saying, fuck this movie. Yeah. Fuck this movie. Fuck this movie hard. I think that was the quote, isn't it? I used to love that show. I don't even have David listen to us. Also wanted to mention, I know he did. Yeah, I don't know. Not sure. He's not as active social media as he used to be, which is fine. I don't see things like, I didn't see Jamie saying this.
So I do apologize, Jamie, otherwise I would have commented, but I don't see, you know, I don't see stuff. And I also wanted to mention, because we don't often, if you do get a chance to rate us or leave a review. Like a Winner's at a Pea Dirty Party. just don't see stuff. Don't see stuff. just look away. Pass me the baby oil. You won't see anything. Yeah, if you do get a chance to rate the show or leave a review anywhere you listen to it and you can, we'd appreciate that too.
But that's enough for me yabbering on. And enough from you laboring on. It's time for us to go back under the stones. I've got now three days, which is plenty of time to get this flat cleaned, Tody. The flat is now clean, is what I'm going to say once it's done. This flat is clean. And move into my new place. But every time I move into a new place, I'm like, is it going to be haunted? Come on, come on, just once, please give it to me. So let's see.
So next time listeners, I'll be in a new audio location, but I'm on the middle floor, so I've got below me and above me. So you're sandwich. You're the meat in a sandwich. Hopefully when I'm DJing, I'm not too loud down below. And hopefully people above me are not going to be too loud when I'm podcasting. So, um, and next to a road as well, obviously with a window, but that's where it's got to be. I've discovered.
Talking of haunted, I've already mentioned that Jack's been seeing something, peeper in the corner. Oh, yeah. The other night, Alice saw it. Why is it? I was sat where I am. Alice was sat over to my right. This thing just keeps looking around. And she literally went, Oh, God. And I went, What's wrong? What's wrong? She went, I've just seen the peeper peep around the door at me. And I said, Are you fucking kidding? because I haven't seen it yet. I've only seen the shadow man in the hallway.
So you need to keep that door open with a camera. No way. Get a camera though. No way. I've got to go up the stairs later with the lights out. This is the best bit. Whenever you're doing that, it's when you're just getting to the end, when you're running along and you don't look. Everybody does it. I know all of you do this. You're going up the stairs or you're shutting the door. It's just at the last point you're about to shut your bedroom door where you're safe. It's that last three seconds.
You think that the hand's going to get you from the back. No, no, from behind you. It's just going to grab you at that last moment. So you go, oh, and you roll up the steps. Well, there you go. I gave that to you. So it's a good night from Abbotac under the stones coming out to pull the blood out of your asshole. I was hoping that that didn't happen in the movie, but that didn't. Yeah, it's a good night from the vampire. And it's a good night from what's the other thing?
It's a good night from lots of sheets floating down the road waving at you. Ghosties, aren't it? Ghosties. What ghosties? We ghosties. And it's a good night from all you one-hit wonders out there who are summoning demons and sacrificing virgins so that you can have P Diddy feature on your next song. Excellent. What a shit rapper as well. Right, everybody. Careful, he might put a hit out on us. Like, if you do, get him.
The last thing he's concerned about right now is two horror podcasts are saying he's a shit rapper. Yeah, well, everyone's saying shit about him, aren't they? But he's a shit rapper, so yeah. Anyway, he always has been. There's no difference. Yeah, he's always been really shit, especially because his best mate is considered one of the top three rappers of all time. Bum, bum, bum, bum. Yeah. Wow, don't even bother. Anyway, just chuck Nas in there. Nas will kick everyone's arse.
Kairos Wand, block your toilet. Let's get out of here. just like Kairos Wand says, remember guys, flush it twice. Word to your mother. Word to your mother. Thank you for listening to the Podcast on Haunted Hill. We will be back again real soon.