THE PODCAST ON HAUNTED HILL EPISODE 157 - FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 4 AND PART 5

Podcast On Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing.

The Podcast On. Oh, man, I am bursting. Where is that toilet? These woods are so damn dark. Ah, here we go, right, okay. God, there's no light in here. Oh, God, these camping toilets. Oh, I can just about see it. Oh, these damn enchiladas are going right through me. Right, here we go. Oh my God, that is, oh, Christ. What? Oh, what was that outside? Hello?

Hello, is someone out there? Hello?

GAV, is that you?

Yeah, well, I really need to use this toilet too. I thought it'd hurry you up, it'd flow things through if I come on the other side of the loo and sing to you.

It's really helping, actually.

Is it? Is it going? Yep?

What's that on the other? Is that you on the other side as well?

Well, I can't be on two sides at once.

What?

Who is it? Hello, and welcome to The Podcast On Haunted Hill, Episode 157. Dan looks at me sometimes when I say the numbers, and I know what he's thinking. Is he gonna get it right? And I got it right.

You got it right.

I was just getting that confirmation from you there. You said I did.

I'm Dan.

And I'm GAV.

We are your bearded guides through the world of horror, and some other sort of related films and media.

Yeah, totally.

Pop culture. We're here. Thanks for seeing into me, GAV, during the little skit there.

Well, I was inside and he did the loo. You're in the outside dungy. And I was just like, how long's it gonna take? So I figured if I first scare you, that gets it going a bit, and then I soothe it out with a sing song.

Yeah, yeah.

And it worked, apart from the fact Jason then killed us.

Yeah, that's a shame.

So if you don't know what's going on, ladies, gentlemen, non-gendered guys, ghouls, aliens, insects, fish people, and anyone else in the whole world, welcome. And if you don't know what's going on, don't know what's going on, it's hot, it's sweaty. Me and Dan are naked, apart from our little leopard skin thongs. And we are all up ready for beach time or camping time or anything which involves lots of sunshine and not much clothes and drinks.

It is. To kick off the summer for the last couple of years, we have started with something set in the woods, usually involving teenagers getting hacked up out camping. And we've also, we try to come back to Jason every year. So we've worked our way over the last couple of years through the first few Jason movies.

I do enjoy it.

We love it. It's our favorite franchise.

A part from, I don't like part five I've discovered from reviewing.

Oh, I've actually changed my opinion on part five, but in the opposite of that.

Wow. Okay.

So, yeah, we will be covering Friday the 13th, part four, weirdly titled, The Final Chapter. And then we'll also be covering part five.

So it's not the final chapter.

Part five, A New Beginning. It's a new beginning. What I will say about these two is they have stuffed in some very funny and interesting characters. Often slasher movies like this will have little side characters, like someone just jogging through the woods. And they're not always very interesting, but... Four and five have got some really random characters.

The only reason to watch part five is literally the oobaby couple. That's literally it. And they're not even in it for that long. But for me, they're well memorable. I thought in my head that guy's on screen for the whole fucking movie. No, no, it's like five minutes.

Well, hang on. Don't forget Ethel and Junior as well. They're pretty special as well. All right. There are some very good characters. And the chubby hitchhiking woman who just sits there eating a banana grumpily whilst Jason starts to...

There's a lot going on. Let's wait for the review, wait for the review. Stay with us and you'll get all of that.

So that's what we're covering on this episode. Very excited. Like I said, hopefully this is kicking off some warm weather in the UK here. We've had a bit of warm, but also a little bit of cold.

I may have to take my top off because I am pretty warm and I've got to have the window shut because we can't record when it does happen.

So, GAV, it's episode 157. Last episode, weirdly, was episode 156. Just a quick one on that. It was a patron special, a patron pick, and Dante got his pick. We covered Court from 2017 and we covered Carnival of Souls from 1962. Just a quick message from Dante to say, I realize I'm a bit biased, but I think that was a particularly amazing episode, lads. Well done, GAV, DAN and Bill. Thanks Bill Murray as well. Thanks for a thrilling episode.

Oh, you're absolutely welcome.

You're very welcome.

Yeah, well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, we never know what's going to happen.

We never know. We never know.

Well, we just hope it's not going to be shit. That's the main goal. So, yeah.

And Bill Murray has, talking to Bill Murray, he's revived with a VHS tape that he wants us to watch for our World Of The Strange segment.

Why does he look so excited? He's sort of shaking a little bit of it.

I don't know. I don't know. I watched him in a film last night called The French Dispatch by Wes Anderson. Absolutely batshit film. Typical Wes Anderson film. But Bill Murray is always very enjoyable, isn't he, to watch? You were very good, Bill. But there we go. GAV, what have you been watching recently?

I've watched a few bits and bobs. I know that we're going to speak about Under Paris, because we've both watched that. I tell you what, I really enjoyed watching it, it came on only on Friday on Amazon Prime, because I got a tattoo Friday, and when you get a tattoo for a tattoo of any sort of size, you sit for quite a while. I watched the behind the scenes of Friday, part four, in fact.

Yes, I'm really excited to watch that soon.

It was really enjoyable.

Yeah, funny enough, I saw it a couple of days ago and it's on my list to get to. So I will probably bump it up in the next couple of weeks and watch it.

I really enjoyed it. It's not really properly following his story. It's almost like the person himself is kind of like a parody of those movies almost.

You know, only Weirdo Yankovitch.

So it's almost like things happen, you're like, that didn't happen. I won't say anything to spoil it because it's quite fun. Pablo Escobar is his biggest fan in it, apparently.

If he made the story of his life, it would clearly be like a really funny cover of it. That's what he's famous for.

Daniel Radcliffe is brilliant, isn't it?

You know, Daniel Radcliffe is really quite a great actor. You know, I'm not really into the Harry Potter films. And he's not snotty, is he? No, he's not.

He's like, no fucking way if I'll do it and stuff. I've not seen Guns of Kimbo with Jason Haldon's movie, but Jason Haldon did Deathgasm.

Oh, yes, of course. Daniel Radcliffe was also in Horns, which is a really cool concept about a guy that grows horns and witnesses lots of evil. And he was in a fantastic film called Swiss Army Man, where he plays a dead body for the whole movie.

Yeah, seriously, I've not seen it. Still, whenever I say Jason Haldon, I think of the time when I was chatting to Jason Haldon in a bar, and I'd seen Deathgasm, and it came out really wrong where I said, I just want to get down on my knees. It was actually to praise, like, we're not worthy.

He thought you were offering.

It came across as like, I want to suck your dick, because it's that good. And I was like, oh, and then I dug a hole from saying, oh, I don't mean I'd suck your dick. And it was like a whole thing. So I'm talking to the director of that. So anyway, so whenever his name comes up, I think of that moment.

You think of blowjobs?

Oh, I think it's just...

Death Chasm! Gulp. Right. Well, so yes, you watched you watched that. Anything else?

I have seen other stuff. I watched Hell House 4.

Oh, yes. How is that? Because the third one was a bit pants.

The third one was a bit pants. It's better than the third one. I can't remember the second one very well, but the first one I've seen probably three or four times, actually.

We're big fans, and we covered that a very, very long time ago. We're big fans of that.

Yeah. Part 4 I quite enjoyed, actually. It's a totally different thing, but they do some sort of... It's quite hard with found footage. There is obviously always going to be new ways you can do stuff, but a lot of ways have been done. And, you know, horror is in general, so you know the tropes of certain things lingering, so it's going to then happen, or music stops, and it all goes quiet, and something might happen.

Yeah, three isn't that great. Three goes a bit too far for me.

But I did enjoy that. I was watching earlier on, which I've seen before, and I'm going to go back and finish it some prime, which I really enjoyed. It's a Nicholas Cage film.

Oh, right, yeah.

Nicholas Cage. And it's Primal.

Primal. I don't think I might have seen that.

Oh, really? I really enjoyed this film, and it's a recommend for me. But it's the sort of film I like. It's kind of like, in some ways, it feels almost like first blood mixed with something like under siege, mixed with science of the lambs.

There's something on that note.

With Nicholas Cage, with big animals, just happened to be on a boat transporting it, and it's all on a boat.

Primal. No, not seen it. I looked at my watch list.

Oh, dude, it's actually quite...

It's got Flamke Jansen in it as well.

It's quite fun. I was watching it earlier, so I could go back to it, and I've seen it before anyway. Yeah, it's quite a fun film.

It says, Frank's caught wildlife in the Brazilian... It's called Frank in it, I like that.

Yeah. Hi, I'm Frank.

Hi, I'm Frank. He's caught wildlife in the Brazilian jungle, including a 400 pound white jaguar. He ships it on the same ship as an arrested assassin. But the assassin breaks free and frees the animals.

So...

Amazing, so it's like con-air, but with animals.

Yes, and they're trying to get this killer, and they're hunting him through the boat.

But there's animals here, isn't there?

It's like a GAV film, like just, yeah.

Love it, sounds great.

It's really worth watching if you've not seen it. And I think it was kind of probably an Under The Radar movie, but the concept and how it's actually, you know, a lot of stuff, it does actually some B, C, maybe D films at times. This one's actually up there with being quite a production. There's a lot of things going on. It's pretty good.

Amazing. Well, I've been watching very new stuff. I watched 2024's, which is this year, GAV, by the way, 2024's The First Omen, which hit Disney Plus or Hulu.

I'm going to watch it next time I see Sarah. One time in the future when I see Sarah.

In the future.

We're going to watch that. So, yeah, tell me about it without doing any spoilers, please.

Yeah, I won't. I enjoyed it for the most part. It felt very true to the first Omen, especially. Not the first Omen, because it is the first Omen, but the first film. And at times, it felt they did a very good job of making it feel like you were in that decade. And obviously, it's setting up...

Like 70s, 80s?

70s, yeah, because it's setting up the Omen movie, obviously. So you know things aren't going to go great.

That's cool, because I always loved that backstory when, like, it's father and the parents were jackals, and like, what the fuck? And all that whole thing.

Yeah. So what I like about it was, and you won't like, but there's some body horror in it, specifically around giving birth and pregnancy.

My eldest saw it in the cinema. They told me. As soon as they got the call, they were with their friends saying, we saw a had coming out of a joiner.

There's more, though. There's more towards the end as well. I won't obviously spoil it. So I really appreciated the body horror. I thought that was good. And I really, I always love it when there's like a seedy religious underbelly going on. You know, like the Vatican is covering this or that and the other up. So it's got all that in it. I just find it sagged a bit in the middle. It was a bit boring. The ending was all right. Overall, I gave it a six out of ten because I enjoyed it.

Xavier Gaines, director. Did Frontiers, by the time in the French New Wave horror scene of the early 2000s. That movie did not have CGI in practical. This movie does have CGI sharks, which was my only letdown. But obviously, you couldn't get strange sharks to do the stuff that they want to do, which I understand. But there's times when they could be like, you could not let that go out, there's some bad sharks. But I really enjoyed it, and I thought the cinematography was beautiful at times.

It was a really polished production.

In the series, it's really well-nosed colors.

Really well-acted as well. I actually started watching it, and then I realized for some reason it was dubbed, so I put it on French and watched it with French subtitles.

I did dub because it was actually Elijah and I watched it.

It was a really good idea.

So he said, can I have it dubbed?

Really good idea. It reminded me a little bit of Deep Blue Sea, which is a really big favorite of mine, and some great characters, some really good acting in it. Everyone in it was fucking good-looking. It was a bit annoying. I know they're all French, and French are supposed to be beautiful, but they were all very good-looking, all the men and all the women. But yeah, I really enjoyed it.

Once we finish the intro here, before we get into off air, we have to just literally talk about that ending very quickly. A bit unexpected.

Yeah.

I was really gutted. There's a couple of shots that are here and there, which are OK, the shark. But there was a lot of CGI, which was awful, like awful, like 20 years ago, computer graphics, like awful. I don't know why.

And then weirdly, there was also some really good practical effects.

At times, there was some OK finds, yeah.

But also there was a couple of up close scenes with the sharks, which was definitely like an animatronic. And that looks really good as well. But you're right. When there was a matter, there was a spoiler.

Really bad.

There is more than one shark, but you find that quite early in the film. When there's a lot of sharks attacking, that's where the CGI does throw its cracks a little bit.

But just going to pull out my ZX Spectrum 81, make some short graphics.

But we both enjoyed it. That's the main thing. And it's better than a lot of the shitty shark films that I watch, that I'm putting myself through all the time.

It's a fun shark movie because there's a thing going on. All of a sudden, there's a shark, and hang on, why has that got so big so quickly? So there's a slight mystery thing going on. Then all of a sudden, the shark does the normal, gets into areas it shouldn't be. It's the summertime, there's lots of people. So you've got that disaster thing going on, like in Prana, the remake, that sort of stuff. Same with Shaws.

And it's one of the better shark movies to come out in the last few years. Talking of CGI, my final movie that I wanted to talk about is a movie that makes its amazing use of CGI with a budget of only around 14 million. It came out at the very end of last year. It hit Netflix this week, and I was fucking blown away by it. Not only was it a very good story, but incredible effects. I'm talking about Godzilla minus one.

I also watched this with my son again.

Ah, fantastic. Yeah, my god, this was very, very good. And then again, this has got a huge Jaws segment in it, a very big homage almost to Jaws, where they're hanging out on a boat for quite a long time. You get to know these people who were kind of thrown into this situation hunting Godzilla, but they do it in a very good way.

Yeah, yeah, I really liked it. Yeah, I think he did. He got bored at a couple of bits of talking because he's got a YouTube attention span. No, I really enjoyed it. I really liked the fact it felt just like a 1960s Japanese original Godzilla film with the same sound effects and music, the original score, but with a monster just looking totally brilliant and angry and just really evil monster, really horrible looking monster. It's like, I want to fuck you all up, monster.

When he peeps out of the sea.

What Godzilla should be, rather than stop being friends and teaming up with others.

When he pops out of the sea, like sort of your platoon moment, where his eyes are just showing, you know, there's a couple of times where you just think that is terrifying, you know, and when he comes on land, I was really scrutinizing the effects because when he's stomping his way through villages, look, there's people running and getting crushed.

No, because I was watching as well how they did it. And I was like, OK, so you put the close up, real close up in the foreground of the foot going down of Godzilla, then people there, but then they wouldn't come back to that foot. They kind of moved on as us. That's how you're getting around doing it, because obviously they did it on a lower budget than a lot of Hollywood films. And that was what it appraised and showed Hollywood like what you're doing. You're fucking idiots.

Look, the only the only time I noticed a couple of cracks in the CGI was with some of the vehicles like the boats out at sea, although it all still looks much better than a lot of foot movies.

That was absolutely disgraceful compared to it. But yes, it's really good. And yeah, I think I think it's really good. Didn't another Godzilla TV show come out recently? Yeah, like an Apple or something.

Kurt Russell.

Did that just get completely forgotten about?

No, no, because that's related to the monster verse, you know, the King Kong Godzilla monster verse that's out at the moment, of which I've kind of...

The Hollywood one, yeah, I have as well. The one we saw in Minus One, I like that monster, the way that looks. The ones we see in these are just average, like maybe Pete Jackson's King Kong. It's just that sort of thing, you know, it's fake.

It feels right when a Godzilla movie is Japanese. Does that make sense? Although it feels like you're kind of stealing the Japanese big icon, really.

Yeah, well, I really appreciated the fact we couldn't watch it dubbed. Because I was with Elijah, so he actually sat, and that's probably his first Japanese film to read the subtitles while watching Japanese. At times he'd say like, oh, that's... So he'd look back at me and he'd say like the word they said, he'd say it to me in Japanese.

Amazing.

Not that he's going to remember, but he thought it was quite funny, like some of the words.

And much like Jules, what this film does is, well, it makes you care for the human characters quite a lot, particularly our sort of main heroes.

What an interesting concept, because I see where Steven Spielberg is going to like it. It's going to be that because he grew up with the wars and people throwing planes and things like the kamikazes. So what an interesting concept to have a failed kamikaze try to like rend back his honor.

Yeah, because, and it's no spoiler to say that because, you know, this is all in the synopsis on IMDb and in the trailers, but the guy, the main guy in it, yeah, he chickens out of being a kamikaze pilot. Quite rightly so. What, you know, Jesus, you're throwing yourself into death.

I actually, I think for a fairly reason I found out most of the kamikaze pilots were fucked up on pills.

All right. Well, when you, when he comes back, it's, you know, they're like, well, either your ejector seat, you know, something went wrong or you, you chickened out and they find out he chickened out. So it's all about him trying to redeem himself. Godzilla.

But he does. He does. And it's just great.

Yeah, no, of course. I highly recommend if anybody hasn't seen already. So if you've got Netflix UK, it's now on there.

I think having the kamikaze thing in there, it gave it such a brilliant other thing of bringing two like really full on things together in a way. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah.

I thought it was brilliantly done. Yeah. Hands down. Brilliant. Yeah.

Well, there we go. That's what I've been watching. Is there anything else that you want to mention before we get into some camping out in the woods with Mr. Voice?

I was at the dentist after they have the kids because Charlie being autistic, they have to have someone go with them. They just cannot do it. Excuse me. I've still got long COVID, by the way, people. It's brilliant. And so I waited for the other turn. There's a guy there in his T-shirt. And I looked at him. Great T-shirt. And I said to the kids, do you know what that is? And it said, I collect spores, mold and fungus.

Amazing. Amazing.

And I was brilliant. So I sat down and I said, I must love that movie. And he went, well, it's my job. I was like, straight away, I'm like, he's a Ghostbuster. He works at the Ghostbuster Films. What do you mean? Tell me, tell me. And he's like, oh, I work with fungus and stuff. Then I went off on one talking about Lion's Main Mushroom powder. Going off on one saying, and I didn't know. It took my anxiety, totally went off. I was going off on an offer. He's just like, oh, yeah, yeah.

That's really cool.

I was like, yeah, but I've just talked to him for ages about something he has no involvement with whatsoever, which is mushrooms.

Yeah, but he would have heard about that, you know.

I'm sure. And then I said to him, because I was like, oh, so we went just kind of looked forward. I went quite busy in here. And I went, strange that, because I thought it was only busy at 2.30. And he laughed. And then we didn't say more, and he's called in. And that's the end of my time in life on the world with that man.

And he'll take that away.

Go like, this dude. He's just had come with me all sorts of energy.

I was a bit rude to somebody at a kid's party a few weeks ago. Not on purpose. For my birthday this year, I got a really cool alien t-shirt with a really arty piece of, just a piece of good piece of art, which is got Sigourney Weaver's outline with her hair. And then if you look carefully, you'll sort of see like a xenomorph. And it's just a bit of art. It doesn't say alien on there, but you can tell what it is if you know the movie. And my sister got that, and I really love it.

You can't help it. Sometimes, I know exactly that. I have that now, not with kids running around me. I just like, I don't want to talk right now.

But then I felt guilt trip. So later on, I went up to him and said, So, it's pretty good part of this, isn't it, for the kids? Yeah, yeah.

I thought he was going to fucking face part, as they talk to the hand and just walk off on you.

No, we did have a little chat. And then as we left, he said, Oh, I really feel like we've met before. I said, Oh, I know what you mean. We get on really well. And I sort of looked like, Oh, well done, well done. You've made a friend. I thought, well, I haven't, but.

An acquaintance.

I said it later.

You may see around Bristol.

Probably not. I don't need those when I can help it. Yeah. Well, there we go. Well, that's what we've been watching.

I was working at the other day in Western Superman, and I did a little bit of Bristol just the other day. I didn't say hello because I couldn't, because it was just not possible because I was working. Anyway, I spoke to my mum and said, just go by Bristol. She went, Oh, say hello to Bristol for me. She loved coming to Bristol.

Oh, bless. Yeah. Well, Bristol loved having her as well. If that makes sense.

I guess.

Well, I think then it's time for us to get on our backpacks, get a camp in. Maybe we could get a very young Corey Feldman involved in our adventure. We'll talk more about that. Well, yeah, if we have a trailer now, then Friday the 13th, the final chapter, clearly the last in the franchise.

No more after this. I don't know why if it says part five review, there's no such movie.

Here we go.

Here we go. But this is the one you've been screaming for. Friday, the 13th, the final chapter. Jason is back. He moves like a shadow, dark and silent. He never utters a word. He doesn't even seem to breathe. He simply, mindlessly, mercilessly, kills. But now, Jason's reign of terror is over.

After being announced dead and taken to a morgue, Jason Voorhees spontaneously revives, escapes from the hospital, stalks a group of friends, rents a house in the Cunshyde near Crystal Lake, not even at Crystal Lake near it. He's just like, balls to the walls with your fucking rules basically when it comes to it. I don't care. You say this is the last chapter. I'm back. I'm already dead. I'm back again. No worries. And not even going to Camp Crystal Lake.

Yeah, it's basically a bit like early Airbnb, isn't it, this movie?

Yeah.

Directed by Joseph Zito. This is 1984.

I don't know. It's up there. My top three of Friday 30th Part IVs is not my best. It could be number two. I do really like the original. I know it's very like it doesn't really have Jason, but I do like the original, like the whole feel of the original feeling is great. This is up there though for me.

Oh, me too. This is probably my second or third favorite. As much as I still even like some of the later ones, which people don't like Manhattan, etc. I still got a soft spot for them all. But what I really like about the Jason's is where we get to the Tommy Jarvis story, which takes place over four, five, and six. I really like that character. It's a final boy. And I like the fact that it's Corey Feldman, obviously, what a career. He's had Gremlins, Goonies, Lost Boys, a Friday the 13th movie.

At this point, we had Gremlins coming out in the summer at the same time. I don't know why Gremlins came out in the summer. That's a weird choice.

Same day as Ghostbusters.

Oh, really? Crazy.

Imagine that day in 1984.

And this movie coming out at the same time. He was like his face of around that era of just before it was The Two Koreas, before that sort of teenage year. Do you know what I mean? When he was a kid still, he was just all over the shop. Let's talk about Corey Feldman now then. I'm kind of surprised he's not more fucked up. I'm not saying I think he's fucked up.

And so far, we mentioned him, so far someone like Daniel Radcliffe is doing okay, you know?

Indeed, and obviously a lot of people can handle it and stuff, but it must be really hard. And Corey at this time, like the cast, when they were going out to the bar afterwards, he really wanted to join them. He was gutted, he'd have to go back to sort of normality because he's younger and stuff, and it must be really hard. So like, I don't think he's fucked up now, but I think he's quite eccentric. I think that's the word for Corey. And bless him, I feel like I've read his book, Choreography.

Indeed. He didn't get on very well with the director, Joseph Zito. Well, they hated each other.

Well, funny enough, the person that played Jason hated Corey.

He hated him too, which is why in the last, well, in one of his scares. He called him a little shit. But also in the scene where he grabs him through the window, when they yelled action, he didn't move for about two extra seconds. So the reaction you get, because Corey thought, oh, the scene's not going. So I thought it'd be being grabbed by now. And then he grabbed him. So the scene you get that they shot, that they used to his actually his actual scared face.

He got you something. Jesus. And he, Corey couldn't come back. He was offered roles for obviously all the other films. Tommy would have gone on to like, he would have, if nothing else had happened to Corey and he had no other films coming up, you know, invitations for films, he would have probably gone on to be a Tommy and he would have been like the connector, like your Donald Pleasance in your Halloween.

That would have been cool, wouldn't it?

Yeah, it was Tommy. But he was offered goonies, so.

Imagine like in the future in an alternative reality where they make Jason X and he gets thought out and it's like Demolition Man and they're like, we're going to throw out this guy called Tommy Jarvis and it's like a grizzled, older Corey Phelps. And he's like, I've waited a long time to take you on, Jason.

On a side note, have I said this before or have I dreamt it or not? I feel like me and you could be like Bill and Ted, you know, like in the future, they're like Bill and Ted and it's a whole thing. I feel like it's been GAV and Dan and it's The Podcast On Haunted Hill. And all the words we say with wisdom will be like the Bible in the future, I feel. Have I said this before?

You've never said that to me and I absolutely love what you're saying.

I felt like we'd had the whole conversation.

Jesus Christ.

So come Friday for part five, Corey had to say no, but he was already shooting Goonies. On a six day week shoot, he said he's the only person, I guess at the time, who had done like a 14 day on the trot shoot, even though he's SAG, which is Actors Guild. So he shouldn't do that. That's kind of illegal. And he's a kid. But on the sun, he said, I'll just do a bit of Friday for part five in the beginning of it.

Amazing.

And that's his role for the part five.

Well, the other person of note, and we should probably get this out of the way while we're talking about this before we get into this story, is Crispin Glover is in this movie. So I believe it was his first role.

The casting lady, bloody adored him. The way she said about it. It's like, easy, lady. That's probably what I found upon.

Another very eccentric man in real life. Apparently not very nice sometimes. He was obviously very famously played Martin McFly's dad in the Back to the Future movies.

Well, apparently quite again, and I'm sort of eccentric. Someone on the set of Friday the 30th Part IV kept himself to himself. Didn't really hang around, but he didn't talk to anybody. Like the cast person, I just noticed something about him. So, all right.

But there are, in cinema and in movies, there are probably five dances that are most well remembered. I'm talking Jean-Claude Van Damming in Kit Boxer.

John Travolta.

John Travolta. I'm talking maybe Fright Night. You might want to squeeze that one in.

There isn't a particular dance though. There's not a dance of.

Creep Show had a very good dance, if I remember rightly.

There's a few out there, but this is, in horror dancers go, this is up there.

This is Crispin Glover when he does his dance, and we'll talk more about it when we get into it, but there is a dance in this movie that is just phenomenal. And it's because they were playing, I believe, an ACDC song on set, and then they put over a more disco-y song.

Ah, because I've got notes on it saying, like, there's a way where you could do it as a director and be like, I'm going to do it for slapstick comedy. I'm going to put something on there, but Chuck supposed it with something else to make that the funny thing.

And can you get the rights to the song we used on set, so at the end of it, using a different song?

Yeah, but you could get, oh, I suppose it's not very metal, though. Get something closer to it than that, because he's dancing, it's out there. I'll tell you what, I think we should have a dance podcast on Haunted Hill, disco dance competition. And we just go there and we just fucking all do it in unison like it's Michael Jackson's Thriller, but we just do that dance.

Yeah, I think we'd all probably break our arms and necks to try to catch up with, keep up with Crispin Glover.

It's unusual timing. Anyway, this is not a choreography podcast.

Let's get into this. So as always, we start off with the Paramount logo and a little bit of a ch-ch-ch. Always gives me chills. Always pleased to see that.

I just love Friday Of Her Tooth movies.

There's something about it, you know.

Like I said before, the slasher films before, and some of the films that I feel like have failed is Friday Of Her Tooth, luckily with Mancini, the composer, luckily found this person, and it was a match made in heaven, because of his choices of just taking lines and so on. And just again, that's gonna be our motif for Jason. And having that, you have it with a down, down, down, down, with like Freddy Krueger and other, and Halloween.

But Jason's score has also got that sort of almost-

Yeah, and the score's great.

Brass. The score's really good. Brassy sound, like bum, as he's sort of chasing people as well.

I adore it.

Yeah, me too, absolutely love it. And sometimes around Halloween, when I'm listening to sort of my Halloween music, I will put on Jason, any of the movies, really, you know, the soundtrack, always fantastic. We start off with some Campfire Tales, GAV, group of people gathered round, and it's a very clever way to recap the first three films.

Oh, very quickly, Tom Savini is back, because the other person couldn't do effects. Creative differences. Tom Savini came back, good. We want Sex Machine.

Oh, yeah, baby. So Tom Savini on the effects.

So we've got the Camp Towers, and it happens to be like a mashup of all the first three films.

Yeah. Which is quite nice, actually.

It's basically, here's what happened last time, kids. And it goes through just little flashes here and there of the first three films. I quite like, sometimes I don't like that in films, because they seem, I'm sure they did that in the other ones as well. I'm sure they did that in two and three, maybe.

Sometimes you can tell they're doing it just to make it stretch out the runtime.

Yeah, but I think also, well, actually, what year was the last one that came out? It must have only been like a year before or something.

Probably 82, if not 83.

It's almost yearly, I think. So it's not like the audience is gonna forget, but at the same time, you've got to remember, VHS wouldn't have been completely in everybody's houses right at this point. So people do need what happened last time flashbacks. So yeah, you do kind of need the info dump.

And we get basically a sizzle reel of different kills and people screaming. We even get a crazy Ralph, it's got a death curse popping back. And then the guy that's telling the story says, and it's Jason wants revenge. And then it just exploding title card explodes onto the screen. The credits, the music, Tom Savini's name. We know we're in for an absolute brilliant Friday night with this movie and get the popcorn out.

You know, it's just like I can't wait.

And then we cut to a chopper, a helicopter.

Yeah, I quite like this because this is almost like beginning of funny enough that I think it's maybe the next one. I don't know. But this kind of reminds me a little bit of Halloween to the original at the beginning. It's very much a continuation. It's the same night time.

Yeah, it works well.

This is the same principle. We're going from what's just happened, haven't we?

Yeah.

Yeah. Straight from the last film. Yeah. So it's actual very, very you could actually do a complete one in one night, a double bill and put them both together as one film.

If you wanted to, you could even edit out the flashback and just cut straight to this because the end of the first movie, the last movie, sorry, which is part three, we're there. All the bodies are being wheeled out. Jason's body is lying down or face down on the floor of the barn. The cops are everywhere. You know, the helicopter's got his searchlight on. The cops are searching to find out what the hell's happened in this massacre they've come across.

And we cut back to the exact same scene, which is really quite nice.

Yeah. Bodies been loads of bodies on stretchers.

And I've got thought about it until we were speaking about it right now. Do you know what I mean? You'd be able to use both of our brains as one brain and come together with force.

I really like the shot where someone picks up the axe and puts it in a sort of looks at it and then puts it in an evidence bag. Jason's lying there. The ambulance arrives and you hear someone say, Well, so far, we've got seven kids, three bikers and whoever the hell this is. And they're pointing to Jason. So we know there's quite a large body count here.

And there's a sheet over and stuff. And the ambulance come along and they pick up. Ambulance come along and say like they said, Oh, they're all dead. And they say, Oh, I thought it was a right rush. So I like the fact it's this film is it's got more depth. I feel like Friday the 13th movies do have that. I don't know if it's a producer's thoughts or control or whatever. There's a bit more depth to it. The fact that the average job is like, Oh, I thought it was a right rush.

I like that. Because everyone's absolutely dead.

The Friday Faith movies do seem to do that. They do really let you go back into the lake, Camp Crystal Lake, you know.

There is a certain atmosphere to them. We get the usual shot of Jason's hand slips out from under the sheet, you know, just to give us a little whoop, but you know, as far as we know, he's dead. Obviously, he's not. And then we cut to him being wheeled into hospital. This is what you're funnily enough, and our episode a couple of episodes back, you were talking about the autopsy of Jane Doe and you said, there's always a guy eating sandwiches. And I said, oh, Peter Jackson in Braindead.

Yeah, I think this is probably my stereotypical mind go to for the mortician who is the sandwich eater while just putting the sandwich on the body and just chat to them and then start saying like, there's one over there, dead, pretty good, actually. And almost sort of saying that, yeah, I'd probably fuck her now.

Well, he says, why great tits. And he says, well, she's dead. He goes, right. What does that change? She's still cute. I mean, all I need to do is and he goes, all right, all right. That's enough. There's a lady present. It's like, what the hell was this going to going to say, you know?

I understand that, yes, you can still be beautiful when dead. I understand that. He takes it out a little bit further. You don't need to start saying what you might do with a corpse.

That's a good name for a song. You always like band names and songs. Beautiful When Dead. Or even a film. Beautiful When Dead. It's a good one. Vampire film, probably.

At the moment, though, the film does still feel very Halloween II of the hospital. Very much so.

And we've already established he's a dirty perv, but he then starts hitting on one of the nurses that he's bonking. He says to her, meet me in the cold room later on. And she's like, no.

Do you know what his name is?

What's his name?

Axel.

Oh, yeah, baby. Axel. She meets, she says no, but she does go to meet him in an office later on that's got some of the bodies in it.

She's giving him signals all over the shop here. Don't give the necrophile mortician sandwich eater pervert any, any, any mixed messages. Just be clear. No, don't go to the dark room. OK, I've just come to watch the news. No, you haven't.

Well, what is, what is on, when she walks in, GAV, what is on the TV? What is playing?

I've never seen such a thing on YouTube. You can get like a yoga, yoga workout or fitness workout and get different instructors and stuff. He is watching essentially one of these sorts of videos, but it's an aerobics type one, but the ones I've seen in generally one person giving you specific instructions. This seems to be like a synchronized swimmers assortment of different ladies in the same lingerie type.

I believe it's isn't a mirror, isn't she doing it up against the mirror?

I thought there was lots of them. Oh, right. That way, why it's so synced so well.

Yeah.

So we could get some different angles, I presume.

So she's shaking her butt in her Lycra gear, her 80s Lycra gear up against this mirror and another mirror. So there's three butts. And it's a bit like that ass to ass scene in Reckoning For A Dream, but without the dildo. And she's just shaking away.

And it's just close up of Axel and he's just like, oh, gals.

He's really loving it. But before we see Axel, he jump scares the nurse that's meeting him in there. And she's this is where she says, well, I wanted to watch the news.

She did want to watch the news because their hospital's on there. She gets excited because they're the hospitals taking the infamous, the serial killer. It's now been dead leads and gentlemen on the news, Michael Myers, because they're the famous hospital.

Jason Ford.

Jason Ford. They're the famous hospital that have Jason. So she wanted to check that out. She did. And then she says, no, no one then really easily she starts kissing him and taking out boobs.

Well, what gets her hot under the collar is because he says he's in here. And she says, what do you mean? He's in this very room. That's him over there.

And then they start getting on with Jason for he's his corpse behind you or any corpse.

I just love him. He loves it. The corpses are there. It's almost like they're watching.

Well, funny enough, it got him actually putting the sandwich on the body goes to show how much that it's just a it's just dead dead is.

And it would be if you do that as a profession or Jason's hand falls out again, you could still you can still have sex in a different room. Jason's hand falls out again. This scares them both so much that she only hurt. He says Jesus, Jesus, Joseph, Christ in Christmas, Christ and fucking Christ. He says about a really good line of like 10 different things. It's pretty funny. I felt like he was ad libbing. It was good. She leaves and he puts Jason on ice and then he just carries on what he says.

Yeah, so he's going to be raking with Jason's corpse behind him.

But before he can, he gets sliced with a surgical saw in the front of the throat and great kills in this always. And then he later on, he comes outside and he kills the nurse with a scalpel, picks her up sort of a bit Michael Myers. So we've already got two kills under a belt. Fantastic work, Jason. I love him. I always cheer. I don't know why I cheer. Same with Michael and Freddie. You cheer when these guys kill people, don't you? It's weird.

The audience were coming for the kills. It was the thing you talk about on the class playground. This is the problem I'm going to have in part five. You're going to hear me doing a lot of moaning. On a side note, very quickly, ten years ago today, Rick Mayall died.

He did.

And I noticed that earlier, and I put it on the Facebook page. How are you using America Wealth in London?

I can't remember how it was now. It's something to do with John Landis bumping into him and... Ed Edmondson, was it?

John Landis went to a comedy show, and Ed Edmondson and him were shouting at each other on stage, and he thought it was hilarious. So he went backstage off and just said, do you want to be in my film? And Ed didn't believe he was making a movie, so he never turned up. I thought Ed would have been in America Wealth in London, and them two sitting together would have been, like, bottom sitting there in America Wealth in London.

That would have been amazing, wouldn't it?

Yeah. And he said Rick Merrill was great because his face was really good at set the scene.

Yeah.

And then Rick's really good, and that's the only sort of straight thing I've ever seen Rick do.

He doesn't really have a line in it, does he? I don't think.

And he laughs. He says, Alabo just laughs. Spits his beer. No, but rest in peace, Rick, by the way. Anyway, sorry.

No, that's absolutely fine. So two kills on their belt. We cut to the morning and we have a mother and daughter jogging through the woods together, both very attractive. Someone's watching them.

Has Dan been watching YouTube mother and daughter videos?

YouTube? Bloody hell. Pornhub. It reminds me of that.

I don't get any of that stuff. It's like, why do you want to do your fan member? Do you not understand it? And it seems to be the most popular video.

I saw a really funny meme or gif, which was what Disney tells us about stepmothers. And it's like that they're all wicked evil. And then what Pornhub tells us is like something completely different. Yeah, I don't get that whole.

I don't get it. It's so weird.

Yeah, I don't know. Well, someone's watching them anyway. And then we cut to young Mr. Corey Feldman Tommy in this.

Yeah.

Playing some video games.

By the way, when you say someone's looking at them, I did quite appreciate that. It's because it's the classic POV, the classic slasher POV, the camera there and the Angie and, and, and you had the, it was like, nice. That's just classic.

It is. It is. And he's got his monster mask on while he's playing this, cause he makes monster masks. We'll find out more about that in a minute. And his mum says, nice mask. She also says, get your haircut.

Yeah.

Which is funny because he does.

He's wearing a mask. Good, good call back.

But also a good mum to know that he needs his haircut, even though he's wearing a full mask over his head.

I really liked it though, as having a son that does clay stuff all the time, I really appreciate it when she's like, oh, that's really good mask. He says, oh, thanks, I just customized it. It reminded me of Elijah, just the sort of thing he would do. And I quite appreciated that actually. I was like, yeah, that's cool. I thought that kid's way ahead of his time. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. And it feels like we've seen this type of character who makes masks or loves sort of horror in other slasher films as well. But this is probably the first time we've ever really seen someone who's really into it as much as that they make masks and they're really, you know, they love the shit.

And obviously, these are Savini's masks. They look fucking fantastic.

Yeah. You know, if a 10 year old kid's making these masks, he needs the job in Hollywood now.

Absolutely. Let's use him for all of his stuff. They'll say, no, you're not having any money and stitch him up like we do with everybody in Hollywood.

Well, let's introduce our six main characters now who are in a car driving. And this is our six people driving to their Airbnb, which happens to be a cottage on the lake next door to Tommy's family.

I do like the fact that American cars, you could do this and frame it in such a way you've got two, two, two with people in seats.

Yeah.

And it looks really good from having a camera on the front bonnet going through the windscreen, because then you've got everybody in proportion. English cars, well, I suppose you get a lot of four by fours and shit now, but you definitely don't get more. Definitely don't get six people in the car.

They kind of skim over the first four, I mean, cut mainly to the two sat in the back seat.

Yeah, you're right. Because the others are kind of in it a bit more, but you're kind of, yeah. Yeah, one of them is a real nerdy guy. I guess he looks at these guys, and these are quite funny, because the ones we cut to obviously is Crispin and...

Teddy, his name is, Teddy Bear.

Teddy. They actually came up with this whole dialogue. They actually came up with this themselves. They worked on their characters.

Very memorable. And as kids, I must have seen this whilst I was at secondary school, because we used to say, let's see what the computer says, which is what Teddy does, you know. He basically says, I can't believe you broke up with BJ Betty. And Crispin Glover's like, oh, come on, leave me alone. And he says, well, let's see what the computer says.

It says, yeah, it says like basically, yeah, we fixed you.

You're a dead fuck.

Dead fuck. I remember thinking, this is why, glad I found out that they sort of came up this stuff themselves, thought, thank you, that's a strange choice for a script writer to write, dead fuck. I've never heard that in another movie.

No, no. And also, this-

It does conjure up, again, necrophilia, which is the second time we've had necrophilia in this episode, this thing.

What this also makes me realize is, I might be wrong in my memory of watching part six for the first, that was the first Friday movie I ever saw, because if I used to do the computer bit, I at least saw this scene when I was much younger than that.

Yeah, maybe.

So I don't know. But yeah, they have this funny conversation. He broke up with his ex. So essentially Crispin Glover's character, who is Jimmy, or Jimbo, or Jumbo, he's got a few nicknames, him and this Teddy guy, they've got a bit of a love-hate friendship, and Teddy's always winding him up about breaking up with BJ Betty. Crispin keeps saying, I'm so horny. He just basically wants to get laid. Teddy is a real, like, considers himself a real ladies man.

Yes, Crispin Glover is extremely horny in this.

He keeps saying it. It's like, imagine sitting in the back seat of a car with him, next to you going, I'm so horny.

Well, if you're a woman, though, you'd be like, fuck, you know.

I'm locking my door tonight. So they arrive quite late.

He does get to release the... Release the...

The beast. Wow, I went beast, you went jizz.

Beast jizz, that's my new band.

I like that. First song, beautiful when dead. So yeah, they get a bit lost and they see a sign. They see Pamela Voorhees' gravestone and that freaks them out a little bit, but they carry on driving. Then they see a hippie hitchhiker, a larger lady, comically dressed. She's a bit of a hippie. She's got a sign asking them to pull over and they just drive past. So she flips her sign around and it says, fuck you on the back.

She's not even really like that much of a large lady though. She's kind of been trying to put across. She has a little bit of extra weight, but they have kind of tried to put across as that.

Yeah, well it was the early 80s.

And she's eating, you know. It is a banana, it's not a sausage.

No, it's a weird thing to eat while you're sat hitchhiking. She just pulls up a banana. I've never seen someone eat a banana so angrily as this woman.

Yeah, but I was just so glad it wasn't a sausage because that would have been weird.

She's pulled out a big sausage.

It's a bit like blow jobs, isn't it?

As long as it wasn't her stepson's. So she pulls out a banana and just starts gnawing on this banana, and then she hears a footstep behind her.

I don't like it. It's really gross when she just gets knifed in the back. Because I was a bit annoyed with this kill, by the way. It was a bit like... Because I am now, as a reviewer, if we watch these movies, each time we do it, I am very judgmental over each kill. I'm checking each kill, going, okay, come on, what are you... Do you know what I mean? That's why the next movie, I'm angry.

He stabs her through the back of the neck, and it comes out of her throat.

And then she's got a banana mashed up in her mouth, and it makes me go, eww.

Because mashed bananas are not nice, is it?

No, it's not.

No. So yeah, that's another kill. Well done, Jason. Good lad.

Oh, that's free, isn't it?

Come back to Tommy, then. So Tommy and his mum and his sister are all having dinner in the evening together.

Why, tell you this, what is the point of pouring a load of liquid into a jug, then from that jug, pour them into the glasses? Why not cut out the middle jug?

I don't know, GAV.

What is the point?

It feels more civilized. It's bollocks.

Just pour it in the glass and sit down. Stop fucking around. Stop fannying about.

Well, they've got worse problems to worry about than their jugs, GAV. Because they've got these people moving in for a few days in the holiday home next door to them. Tommy says hello to them, of course, little child running like, hello. There's some very beautiful women there. So he's obviously like, oh wow, you know, I might get to know, I don't know.

Oh yeah, he's probably bald as fuck out in the middle of nowhere.

He's making these masks, but he's got a video game.

Oh, I would honestly love it. I'd be out in the woods all the time just doing wood stuff.

Well, we get the usual conversation between some girls discussing sex and reputations and I'm a virgin and I put out, but only to my boyfriend. So we're kind of establishing that there's already some sex that's happening and definitely gonna happen during this movie.

When they all turn up, the other kids over the road and I call his mum, looks over the road, she just looks so disapproving towards them. It's like, why? They're just people.

Well, don't forget, she's got a teenager daughter who's probably about 18 or 19, really hot, and there's some hunky men there. She knows what's going down.

Yeah, but if something happens later on, it's in my notes, which she does. And I was like, you should be more upset about this thing here as they're laughing about it. Oh, it's later on, when she looks up, I was like, oh, does it call back to this? She catches Corey, basically. He's watching a couple about a shag. That's the next scene. No, no, it's a bit later on.

Oh, that bit, oh yeah.

Yeah, yeah, and it's night time and they're about to shag, and he's like, oh, and he's getting like proper excited, like a kid would. It's actually quite good, unique acting. He did say quite a lot, having boobies on shot as a kid. He acted with boobies, he said it was quite good. And she catches him, and then she kind of looks up, shots curtains, then she smirks.

That is the next scene, actually.

But I don't like that. She gives disapproving looks, because they've just turned up here with these people, but she smirks at my young child's watching sex.

What I like, so that's the next bit we see, is Tommy in bed, and he sees, in the dark, he sees the window across the way, and he sees the girl undressing, and he starts making sounds like, oh, he's so excited, because he's like probably 12. The first time he's gonna really see a woman completely undress even though she doesn't know he's watching. And then your mum comes in, god damn it.

Just before this, the mum says to the daughter, let's be honest, they're just reading, because this is before the internet, and they're out in the middle of the country.

Poor phones.

Don't forget, 6 a.m., once around the lake, she says to her, the mum says to the daughter, like, fuck off, mum. Nowadays, I don't know, could you get a kid to do that nowadays?

Couldn't get a kid out of bed before 7, 8 a.m., I should imagine.

I can't get my daisy out of bed till like 12 o'clock. One of the girls in the car, by the way, cut back to the car, one of the girls is from Weird Science. She is one of the dates. She is one of the dates that they had at the end, the dark haired lady, the one that gets killed in the wrath later on. And she says, she's like, oh, I got my reputation in the sixth grade. And she's like really proud of-

I know that's weird, right?

Reputation, what's sixth grade?

Young.

It's really weird that she's really proud of getting a reputation. No, no, no, no, no, that's not, no. If you like sex and want everyone to know that you like having sex, fair enough. It just seems, I don't know, a bit of a strange thing to comment on, to say out loud.

Well, it's the morning now, the next scene, and-

Oh, very, very quickly, Wayne call his mum, Wayne. Just put up the blind again. It's fairly simple. That blind's not stopping a teenage, horny teenage kid.

I would be peeping through that blind.

A horny young kid. Well, he's not a horny, is he? Yeah, a young kid.

Just nosy.

Oh, I don't want to say horny young kid. That's really weird. Can we cross that off, the things GAV said in his life?

So the next day, our six guests are hiking through the woods, and we get lots of the director doing lots of closeups of women's asses here. So walking through the woods, great, all right. You know what's going through his mind. They meet some twins on bikes, very attractive twin ladies on bikes.

They're actually British, but they don't come across as British in this because they talk about, they said about how they really disliked the cloven they're wearing.

I think they're called Trina and Tina. And they say, oh, we're lost guys, you twins. Obviously the men are like, oh, hello.

Well, what's the dynamics of it? Basically, we've got a kind of nerdy guy and a nerdy girl, and we feel like they're two couple because it changes the dynamics. Then we got Crispin and his other mate, the horny ones at the back, computer guy and Crispin. And then we got, what was the other two?

They're a couple, but they're...

Yeah, and there's a couple. So there is actually two girls less from the equation if we're matching man, woman, man, woman, et cetera. So when these twins come along, these guys are going like, especially fucking horny Crispin, he's probably having a little jizz, or hands in pocket, he's probably having a little tug while he's talking to them. Won't be surprised. I think he should have a replay and just check it out.

Teddy starts saying, can you believe there's two of them, two of them, oh my lord. And he's really excited that there's two of these girls.

If I'd been there, I'd be like, if it's me and you and the twins come along, I'd be like, I don't think much of yours. Hey, they're the same.

So well, these girls, they ask these girls if they know where the camp, where Crystal Lake is. They said, we're on our way there now, actually. It's quite a walk. So one of the girls says, Sarah says, I'll go back and get the car, leaving everybody else with the twins. And they all head off to the lake without her. So that's fine. We cut them to having a rope swing into the lake, and let's get naked.

Let's get naked and do some swimming.

We've just met you two twins. You two twins, you want to join our little party? Let's all get naked and do some skinny dipping. Crispin Glover, take your clothes off. Oh, I'm a bit shy.

Well, him and his mate are up at the top talking. His mate's just like, fuck this shit, and just pulls his clothes off. Crispin's like, oh, oh, oh. It's really, I like it. It's so much more in-depth than other films. Do you know what I mean? It just feels a bit more like there's more going on there than the average, okay, just pretend this, just do that, do this. It's really like they've worked on it.

Sadly, this bunch of late teens all naked in the water are interrupted by a young Corey Feldman and his dog.

Who is just discovering so much stuff the past couple of days.

This is a hell of a weekend for him.

Literally last night, a couple of them are having sex, and now like this is happening. What the hell?

His dog Gordon runs off because it senses. Gordon! So he runs, chases it, sees all these naked people. His sister blocks his eyes, and then his sister looks around and sort of says, looks at them and they're like, you're welcome to join us later on if you want, Sarah. There's going to be, not Sarah, what's his sister called, Trish? You're welcome to join us later on. We're going to have a party. And she's like, she didn't say no. So yeah, lots going on. Lots going on.

Well, he knows car stuff. Again, though, no internet out in the middle of the woods. You can imagine, like, he's just doing like, I'm going to learn how to work the car. And it's like, fair play, a skill very worth having. I know nothing about cars, and I really should, but I just can't be bothered.

And this is going to set up a really interesting storyline, which we'll come back to in a minute in the story with another character coming in. So Tommy gets out and starts fixing the car, tinkering in the hood. We then get a little scene where one of the twins...

Is that another gangster movie I don't know of?

Which one?

Tinkering in the Hood.

Tinkering in the Hood, yeah. Boys in the Hood. Tinkering in the Hood.

Was that the follow up?

Yeah, didn't do very well.

I felt like Ricky last night taking the barbecue to his dad's after I finished my friend's barbecue. He made me a little doggie bag and it was all like tinfoiled up and that.

Amazing.

I felt like Ricky.

Tinkering in the Hood would be starring Warwick Davis. I should have muddled. Leprechaun 8. Tinkering in the Hood.

Tinkering in the Hood. Was he tinkering with? Was Warwick Davis tinkering with?

The little bells are tinkering away. I'll shoot you with the M16 if you don't run away, you'll not be seen.

What, he's a leprechaun.

He's still in the Hood.

I don't want to be a leprechaun, I just want to be Warwick Davis tinkering in the Hood.

Just hanging out, meeting Furious Styles.

I think, let's just drop off, you know like in Die Hard 3, they just drop Bruce Willis off in like a ghetto thing and put a very racist sort of sign on him, just to try and get him killed basically. Or to dare to see if he would do such a gnarly thing. Let's do Warwick Davis. Let's just drop him in Deep Compton.

I hate gangster rap. Put that on his t-shirt.

You know, on a flag.

Because it's got to be unquite high. They'd be like, yo Willow! Love you man. Anyway, we have a little scene now where one of the twins...

I never thought on a Friday the 13th summer episode we'd come up with dropping Mark... kidnapping Mark Davis, dropping him in Deep Compton.

I don't think we're kidnapping him, GAV. Let's just say this out loud now, just for the record. Not kidnapping Mark Davis, everybody out there.

Deadbolt Productions, etc. is not saying that we would kidnap Mark Davis. Straight up from the record. We're just saying we'd drop him in Deep Compton. He happened to be with us on a night out.

Englewood. Englewood! So one of the twins hides under the decking, pretends to be dead, very convincingly, because Sarah doesn't want to get in. She eventually pulls Sarah in in all her clothes. And we see some feet then approaching Tommy, who's fixing the car. But it's actually Rob, another hitchhiker.

Another person involved.

Now, a spoiler, but Rob actually is a very interesting character in that he is a vigilante who's out to get Jason because his sister was killed by Jason in one of the earlier movies. It's a very interesting little thing to spin into this story.

It was part two.

Yeah, it's really cool. He doesn't reveal this just yet.

It was quite a weird, because I was obviously doing it as a reviewer. It's so much interesting. You really look at films differently. I've said this before. But I watched it the other day when I watched it. It was quite interesting knowing this, because I was like, well, who's this? What's going on? Is this weird to just drop in another character? But it's actually quite good for interest sakes, because he kind of got this guy turned up, who's kind of hunting Jason Voorhees.

He tells them he's a bear hunter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, you can't be hunting a bear. And it's like, it's really interesting, because we know the audience, bear, oh, that's Jason Voorhees. He's hunting Jason Voorhees.

These movies do love throwing red herrings in, you know, and we think, you know, is this guy, is this, you know, so now we're wondering if this is kind of going to be a psycho, because one of the first things he says to them is, do you guys live near here? And they're like, yeah, we do. And he's like, OK, are there any children or vacationers around here? And you think, whoa, why is this guy asking that?

That's the thing. This is actually where they do this in part five as well.

They do. I hope so.

He turns up at the Hicks house.

Clean up all the chicken shit.

If we didn't already know, Jason thought he's a killer, both of these guys would be... This one in part four, he does look a bit more clean cut, but definitely part five, he's got killer written all over him.

But what this does is now, whenever we see a foot in a bush or someone sneaking out, it could be the other person. Which is cool.

But at the same time, we don't need it, because we know Jason is a fig, so it could just be Jason all the time, we'd all be happy with that.

Really cool that he asks, almost breaking the fourth wall by saying, are there any people vacationing, any campers or kids or teenagers playing? He might as well say, are there any virgins or weed smokers around here? He's kind of sort of talking about the rules almost. And then Tommy's sister says, why don't we give you a lift? So they do, and then she says, come to our house.

Of course she does, she's well into it, ain't she?

Yeah, but then it's even weirder because Tommy then says, come up to my bedroom. And his mum, so this is 1984, 83 probably, you know, if this was a real situation.

Actually, Corey's taking his date of birth off IMDB, was like, why have you done that? It's very easy to find, he's born in 71. He was 12, so he's playing at 12.

So picture this, you're a mum and you live out in the woods, there's no one around for miles and your son comes in with a full grown man with camping gear on and says, I'm just going to take Rob up to my room.

Just found a bear hunter in the woods. He's going to come up to my bedroom. Come on, come up to my room.

This is where it all went downhill. No, I'm joking, I was going to say something terrible, but I won't. So, yeah, he shows him his masks and his horror stuff. And he's like, well, I can't believe he made all this. It's really cool. And they get to kind of know each other a little bit. He hasn't got a big brother or a dad, so he kind of gravitates towards an older bloke, maybe. Maybe that's what this is. I don't know. It's just fun.

I think, yeah, you're looking almost like an uncle-y type figure.

Whereas Tommy, what Tommy's sister is thinking, hubba hubba.

She's speaking cock.

There she is. Well, let's get to the party, because next door now, the kids have started up the party.

I would be quite happy at this party. I like the fact that they find an old school porno reel to reel. I feel like I've been at this party. It's the sort of thing where you can just sit there cracking up with, being drunk and passing a joint or whatever.

Well, we'll get to that in a minute because I've got a few things to say about that, which I think are very good. So yeah, they start their party, they start dancing, and this is where we get Crispin Glover's incredible, weirdly out of time dance to the music that's playing. Basically, he gets dared to dance by Teddy Bear. Teddy says, go on, go and dance with her. And he says, oh, I don't really dance. And the girl's like, come and dance with me, Jimbo. So he does his crazy dance.

Teddy's getting a bit pissed. He's starting to look and he's starting to fill the room. And he's like, oh, this isn't good because I'm a ladies man. And he's like, you're not tonight. He's starting to develop these skills of going, oh.

He gets a little bit heavy handed with one of the girls. She sort of turns him down. Fair enough, because, you know, get your hands to yourself. Have a little side scene here where Rob and Tommy, sorry, Rob and Tommy's sister is talking outside and she kind of basically says, I really want to jump your bones. So she makes it very clear in that little scene. Cutting back to Crispin Glover, soaking in the kitchen. He's getting more and more drunk.

It's actually quite a natural actor when his mate comes out and he puts his finger through his pants. And he says he thinks that's funny. It's not funny and that stuff. It's really like just quite convincing, actually. I think Crispin Glover is actually quite a good actor. I don't know him from his other movies. I know he did a movie called Willard I watched once, but I don't remember it. He kind of fell off because I think his fee was too high for Back To The Future 2.

Yeah, and I think the chemistry between him and Teddy is really, really good.

Yeah, Teddy, off screen in the behind the scenes, Camp Crystal Lake. I didn't get to watch part five before the show though. He said that we worked, Crispin wasn't on it though, they didn't actually interview him. But he said that we worked really hard on our characters, and we'd come up to the director and say, this is what we're working on. And they'd be like, yeah, that's cool.

There's a really weird interview with Crispin Glover from the probably late 80s, early 90s on one of the, I think it might be a British TV chat show, and he just comes across this really, really bizarre, bizarre man.

Yeah, you know, he might be a bit autistic or a bit like, you know, he's definitely, he said on set, he's a complete loner. He would be by himself all the time, like fishing or whatever. Just didn't want to be with people, which is, you know, maybe he, I would say possibly he might have actually put the feet too high back to future 2 because he didn't actually want to do it.

Potentially.

And that would say to them, no, we can't go great. I don't want to do it because he's, I don't know. He might be happy in his choices.

Well, essentially, Teddy keeps calling him a dead fuck every, every opportunity. Like you said, he puts his finger through his flies to take the mickey out of him. But when it comes down to it, he gets laid.

And Teddy's just like, oh, and it just goes to show. Don't be a dick. We cut to weird science and she's getting naked. She has a little walk, doesn't she?

Well, just before that, there's a little element of jealousy from the other girls about these two hot twins. They've just like, why are these hot twins here?

It's funny, because we thought the playing nerds were going to get with the playing girl. They're really not playing them boring. They're going to go upstairs and have a vagina. Virginity taking missionary sex. Do you know what I mean? It seemed like really playing boring couple. It switches. The nerd gets with the twin.

Well, so what happens is Paul's girlfriend gets jealous of the twins because Paul's just flirting with them in front of his sort of girlfriend. So she's like, I'm going to go for a swim. You come in and he's like, I think I'm going to talk to this hot twin actually. So she gets butt naked, of course, at night to go in the lake.

They shot this film between it was just before Halloween because they went out on Halloween and saw loads of people dressed as Jason when they were walking around, which they thought was weird because like, oh, we're making a Friday 30th with you. And then they shot all the way through the winter till, finish wrapping up January, maybe something like that.

This lake would have been very cold.

Everything you see which involves water and most of the Friday 30th staple is night exterior rain night shoots for most of the films towards the end and stuff. So, yeah, generally freezing cold water. So she said she's super, super cold. And what they did though, they cut the raft. So we get to her kid anyway, she's lying in a raft and her feet are down through the raft. So she's pretty much standing up and then they made a fake butt and legs and that's what stabs through her.

Yeah, because she climbs into a dinghy that's in the middle of the lake. And that's where she meets her and Jason dives out the water. And he shish kebabs her, skewers her. And that's her done and dusted. Paul is dancing with this twin back in the party zone. And he suddenly realizes when she sort of leans in, he's like, oh, my God, I'm cheating. Are you serious that you've only just realized that you're close to cheating on your girlfriend? She's just run out of the party.

Yeah, he's a bit of a twat really.

He's like, I can't go through with this. I think I better go find my girlfriend. The twin's like, oh. So she moves on to the next guy. She moves straight on to the next guy.

Country life, man, country life.

I put in brackets slut. So he goes to his girlfriend, Crispin dances with a twin. Now she's like, come on, what about you, weirdo guy? Let's have a little dance together. So they go upstairs, and that leaves Teddy with the other twin downstairs. So he sort of says to her, do you want to give Teddy Bear a kiss? He happens to have an actual Teddy Bear, which he uses as a prop to try and get her to give him a kiss. But she seems kind of a bit into it.

She's like, she does a bit, but he still cocks up fairly quickly.

Paul gets in the lake because he assumes...

Well, he's not looking for her, isn't he?

Does he find her clothes? I can't remember. Maybe he just thinks he knows her so well. He thinks, what would she be doing at this time of night? Being naked in the lake. That's what she likes to do. I'll go in there.

Why did he want to cheat on her? If her regular nightly outing is naked in the lake, why would you cheat on her?

Crazy, crazy man.

She's a keeper!

Twins. Yeah, so he swims out. Oh, he finds her dead body. He swims back to shore, and just as he gets to shore, he gets killed by Jason.

So Jason must be soaking wet by now. He's just been in the lake.

Yeah, freezing cold as well. Fucking hell, this job's getting to me. I'm getting too old for this shit. But the scream...

By the way, the death scenes are still nothing amazing just yet.

Not yet, no.

No, we have got a really good one, the upside down one coming. That's a really good shot.

Yeah. Well, that scream of the boyfriend just getting out of the lake is what Rob, our vigilante, hears in his tent. And he's like, what was that?

But does he run to his tent and it's got a broken rifle?

Is that his tent? Yeah, he gets his machete and he goes to have a look at what was going on. And when he gets back, his tent is absolutely trashed.

So essentially, so this is what we're saying. Soaking wet Jason's just killed these two people. He's found his tent and gone. Well, obviously, this is a person hunting me, so I'm going to snap their gun. What's going on with this?

I think Jason just likes to set things up, doesn't he? He loves setting up.

Oh, God, when he puts bodies in doorways, you can know he's going like hee hee hee.

There's a brilliant scene in, I think, the next one where someone's been crucified with a nail through each hand. And when he leaves the house, it might be this one, actually, when he leaves the house, the body's in his way. So Jason just rips their hand off the nail. He's like, why did I put that one there? For fuck's sake. It's very funny.

I was chatting to Ben, Shadow of Death, Deadbolt DP, who's doing my tattoo there at the same time. He said, have you seen the second... I've not seen the first one. Is it called Hiking In The Woods or something? YouTube fan films?

Yeah, the first one is Hiking In The Woods, the second one is Don't Hike In The Woods Alone, the second one is Don't Hike In The Snow Alone. Have you seen them both? Yes, I have. I watched them... The last couple of Halloweens, I've watched them both every Halloween.

Are they any good?

The second one is good, because it's good to see Jason with blood on the snow. We've talked about that in contrast before. But I still think the first one is the best one, because they bring back Tommy. I think Tommy or somebody is in it from one of the movies. Yeah, they're only short, they're like 45 minutes or something if I remember rightly, but they're very good and they're worth your time. They're on YouTube. They're very short, they're free to watch. I highly recommend them.

Well, the other twin knocks the door and says, we've got to go home, come on.

Oh yeah, she leaves.

She says, you go, just take an umbrella, because it's pouring rain.

And when she leaves, she gets on the bike and as she cycles off, you just hear her with ADR under her breath say, slatt, to her sister. Which is funny. Yeah, so Teddy is watching this Victorian porn. He puts it on for the last few people that aren't upstairs having sex, and they're all watching it. And this scene is brilliant because they really do the stoned laughing so well.

Very, very quickly do apologize. Going back to her being on her bike outside, really incredible shot where they've timed it. So obviously where they've got their lightning machine goes off. The shadow of Jason is on the wall behind sort of thing as she rides off. It's a beautiful shot, and something you wouldn't see in a 513 if it's so quick and comes and goes. I don't think anyone would ever mention it. So I just want to give that props here very quickly.

No, no, no, definitely.

Do watch it. If you watch it again, that shot's really good.

Some good shadow work. I think that happens again later on, actually. They're all really stoned. They're laughing at this Victorian porn because it is really just bizarre. I don't know if this must be real because it feels like they wouldn't have had the time to go and shoot this and make it look so old fashioned and authentic. So I think this is probably real. And it's so funny. And the laughing just reminds me of parties I've been at back when I used to smoke.

What would you do? It's such old footage. If you went to the cinema and watched Friday the 13th, and you're an old lady, and you're like, Oh, God, that's my bottom and boobs. What you could do? Go, Oi, daughter, get on the phone with someone. That's me.

Someone out there is grandma.

Imagine if it was, and you watch it, and you start going, Are you all right, mum? Is it too scary? No, no, it's fine.

That's your granny up there. Shaking her boobs.

So Corey's mum comes home to find there's no power in the house.

Oh, by the way, that shadow also that we saw, also, he kills her. We all see it, but done by shadow, which is cheap to do an off screen kill, but effective in this case.

I've got the notes in there saying it is such an easy thing to do, but actually I think it works better than some of the kills we've actually seen.

It's almost a bit hitchcocky, isn't it?

It's just a little bit more stylish than you expect it to be. That's why I said this film is a bit more in depth than, not say The Other Friday Fatigues, but a movie of this, what you expect, you know.

More hooking up, leaving just Teddy on his own downstairs, and then you're right, Tommy's mum comes home, no one's home. The power's out, where the hell are my kids? I'm going to start looking around the house. Something startles her outside, and we get a little jump cut to Tommy and his sister driving in the rain. They arrive home, whereas mum, she's not here. I'll go fix the lights, says Tommy, because again, he's a boy genius, while his sister goes out to search for mum.

Tommy's character in part five is very much like you expect it to be.

Yeah, he's fucked, especially what he does at the end of this movie. She runs out, she finds Rob's tent trashed. She goes in the tent for a bit of shelter. Someone creeps up on her, but it's Rob with his machete.

He nearly gets fucking sliced.

Be careful. If you know there's a bear hunter out there with a big machete, don't hide in his tent in the middle of the night. Cut to a lovely scene of Crispin Glover and his twin, Trina or Tina, whichever she may be, and they're laughing in the afterglow of their sex. Was I a dead fuck? She says no. I think she says you were incredible or something like that. I think she's been so polite.

He goes downstairs and I'm sure Crispin Glover, Trina upstairs, the ladies' booze, at some point, have you seen my underwear? I want to get dressed. Have you seen it?

He wants to prove to Teddy.

He gives him his pants.

He goes, hey, Teddy, guess I'm not so much of a dead fuck after all. And he throws the pants on Teddy's head because Teddy's so drunk and stoned.

You know Teddy is going to be watching that porn himself and jerking himself, silly.

Dirty boy. Yeah, and the twin goes off to the bathroom while Crispin's throwing her underwear around. Teddy's still watching that porn, by the way, and Crispin says, I'm just going to go in the kitchen to get some wine to celebrate that I'm not a dead fuck. So they get, where's the corkscrew?

You can't find the corkscrew. But it's OK, because Jason passes it to him.

He does, he slams it into his hand. Double, this is a double whammy. Probably my favourite death, actually.

Yeah, and Crispin's way looks around like, to his hand and looks up, and he gets a machete in the face, which is pretty good.

He does, he gets a craven from Shadow of Death.

Yeah, he does. Oh yeah, of course you had that. I forgot, that was your death.

That was my death, I didn't have the corkscrew.

No, no, no, you had a machete in the face. I fucking forgot all about it, of course. That was brilliant, those effects there.

Yeah, so Tom Savini had to do the corkscrew through the hand very easy, but then the machete to the face, so all for the same person. So good kill for him there, really enjoyed that.

Oh, the kills now and Pup, I mean like, yeah, this is great, because we cut to the other twin, she's upstairs, she gets pulled out the window.

Out the fucking window.

And just thrown.

And she smashes onto a car.

I was just like, this is fucking decent. All of a sudden, we're up to 11 on spinal taps, amplifier.

Well, Jason's looked at his time on his watch, I thought, oh fuck, I better wrap this up.

I better start killing motherfuckers in a good way.

But also nobody hears the fact that a woman has just been pulled out of a window screaming as she falls through a death, smashing into a car. But then there's thunder and lightning.

And Teddy's in the froze of pant sniffing.

Yeah, he's wanking himself into oblivion, isn't he?

We do cut back to now the Busted Tent, which must be, and they seem to be sitting inside the Busted Tent. It doesn't look like Busted again. And they're sort of discussing, who are you, Bear Hunter? What are you doing? What's the, what's going on?

Well, I'll tell you what it is, actually, pretty lady. If you've seen Friday the 13th, part two, the lady that got killed in that was my sister. And I'm out to avenge her because I think Jason Voorhees is back and he's on the move and I'm here to hunt him down and kill him. It's not really bears after all. She's like, Oh, my God, you're so manly. And then we cut to, talking of manly, steamy shower sex.

Oh, boy, I'm shocked because she's a virgin, isn't she? This seems to be like her first. Yeah. Virgins don't lose it having shower sex.

I don't know. She seems to be very happy about what's going on in that shower.

I was like, that can't be the virgin. The virgin Connie Swales.

Apparently, it went on for a lot longer, but they cut it down. They were told to trim this sex scene down.

I'm going to go see the Connie Swales. Don't you mean the virgin Connie Swales?

Classic. Teddy, he's getting horny now by the projector. He's about to pull out the pepper pig and go nuts.

This dude needs to go to bed. Put an end to his day. Or Jason does.

Someone cuts off the projector, which he's very annoyed about.

When you go stand in front of the projector, you look around and lighten your eyes, it's fairly easy to put your hand up and just cover that light, or just move out the way a bit. He seems to be unable to do such a thing. He just stands and goes, who is it?

And then Jason's behind the projector screen.

It's Jason being a projectionist first and a mile.

And he stabs through the screen, bringing him popcorn straight into his head. That's Teddy. That's Teddy out of the equation now. He didn't even get a chance to beat the bishop, bash the bishop, flog the log, or any of those other phrases that you like to use. Not you, the royal you.

You miss him being killed though. So already we've sort of declined from the kills again. It's kind of not really sane. It's like, what? What are you doing? Stay with it. What's going on?

Well, cut back to the shower couple.

She thinks she's in love now.

Well, he says to her...

I'm in love. She says, you've taken my virginity. You've taken it up my vagina, and I am totally in love with you.

Well, let's do the dialogue. He says to her, oh man, I think I'm in heaven. And she is, I think I'm in love.

Nothing.

And she's sort of basically skipping around the corridor outside.

I've just been laid in a shower.

She heads back to the bedroom, puts the hair dryer on, which drowns out the noise of Doug in the shower, because Doug's in the shower, and somebody comes back in the bathroom, and he says, are you ready for round two? Yeah.

Let's get rummin on the go.

Let's give rummin a chance.

This movie's a spinal tap. Let's take it to 11.

Well, it gets him head in some ways in the shower, because Jason crushes his skull into the shower wall, which is all tiles and smashes really nicely. Another good kill, actually. I do appreciate it when Jason doesn't stab, and he just crushes. Sometimes he'll just crush a skull.

Now, I felt a bit cruel at this point. Your love's dead.

Oh, wow.

Your new love is you just fall in love with him five seconds of cled, dead, ha! I kind of did that. I felt bad in a way. I was trying to like, why should I be so negative towards someone's happiness? But I was just like, fuck off if you had to love. It's not real, is it? No, he's dead anyway.

We all think we're in love after the first time. Sarah goes back into the bathroom and finds Doug dead in there. She screams, an axe comes through the door, and she is dead as well.

Yeah, she's macheted in her chest.

Oh, is it a machete, is it?

Yeah, and when that happened, I don't know why I did this. I kind of did a fist punch in my hand, like an Adam West Batman character. I don't know why I did that when she died. Yeah, I think I didn't like that woman. I was really happy about her love's dead and how that's going to make her feel. I was like, yeah, brilliant. And then she dies, I'm like, yeah. I don't know why.

Well, cut back to poor little Tommy Jarvis, who's been left on his own. But thankfully, Rob and his sister get home. Is there any sign of mum? And he says, no, no, there isn't any. And then he says, right, let's call the cops. And we see Jason's hand outside.

I said, Jason doesn't know he's being hunted. What if all of a sudden they go in there and said to Jason, I'm hunting you. That's a bit of a twist. You're hunting? None of it. No point. Anyone in these things I've been doing has people been actually hunting me. Like, what the fuck? Do I hide? Do I run? Do I fight?

What do I do? If only I'd left somebody alive.

Do you make love? What do we do?

Oh, God. Well, Jason rips the phone lines out outside, so they can no longer call the cops. And then Rob's sister says, Tommy, I'll tell you what, Tommy, we're just going to leave you on your own again, and we're going to go next door to where the horny teenagers are. You stay on your own.

We know there's a serial killer out. Stay here. Don't come with us.

Just lock the door. I'm sure you'll be fine. Poor old Tommy Jarvis. So they go next door, and they search the house in the dark. She hears Gordon the dog who jumps out of a window.

They go down to the basement.

They go down to the basement. First of all, though, Tommy Jarvis finds some newspaper clippings all about Jason's killings over the years and a sketch of Jason's face potentially under the mask.

Why are they there?

Because that's what Rob's got on him, and this is how Tommy starts realizing, okay, this is what he's doing. And then in his head, he knows what Jason might look like under the mask, which is why he does his little prosthetics to himself at the end as well. Yeah, she runs back to the house. She goes in the basement.

And then they're fine. They were leaving the basement, but he forgets his flashlight or something, doesn't he?

Silly. It's really silly.

And then it's just basically stabbed up in the dark. But guess what? It's too dark for us to see. Yeah, because this is my problem in part five. We're going to get to it.

And this is where we find Jason's beautiful little bits of setting up that he's done now, because as she leaves the house, there's a body crucified in the doorway. She opens another door.

He was giggling like a child on Christmas Eve, putting in bodies up.

He loves it. This is why I really want to see that movie.

Did he put the nails in there? Did they actually get a hammer? Did they not hear bang, bang, bang, bang? What is that sound? There must be someone down the road. There's no one down the road, around the middle of nowhere. Who's hammering? Everyone's dead.

There's that movie called A Violent Nature, where it just follows a serial killer like Jason for a couple of days, and you see what he does in between his kills. And I really want to see that, because apparently it's very, very good.

Oh, it's all POV, isn't it?

Yeah, it looks really good.

And have you seen Vernon? Henry? No, not Henry.

Oh, well, behind the mask.

Behind the mask?

Yeah, yeah, I have, yeah.

That's good as well.

Yeah, it's very good. So another thing Jason likes doing is throwing bodies through windows to kind of anounce himself outside, doesn't he? He loves just picking somebody up who's dead and throwing them through a window.

I think he probably works out. It's probably like his workout session. I imagine dead bodies as his workout session, tossing dead bodies around.

Well, they get back to their house, and Tommy says, just says, board up the doors. So of course he uses nails. He does it all professionally, you know.

Does he not go, where's the hammer? Because Jason's had it outside. No, but Jason's been hammering, hasn't he?

Someone's been hammering away.

Who's got a hammer? Jason's like, oh, passes it to him. Thank you.

But Jason throws a body through the living room window.

No, this is what I love. Come on, let's protect the place and make it like fortune logs. And they start like windows and doors, and they start shouting. He doesn't throw a body, though. Doesn't he just drive through the fucking... Is it drive through the room?

No, he throws a whole body through the living room window.

Fucking hell, don't worry about it. There's no point boarding the place up. Jason's going to throw a body through, use that as his brick.

I think it's Rob's body as well, the vigilante. So they're like, oh shit. He then grabs Tommy through another window.

So many disappointed women now, isn't there? All of these blokes that they fancied.

He grabs Tommy, which, as we've said, was a real scare for Corey Feldman. And his sister throws a hammer, which hits Jason. They run up the stairs, they barricade the door, and Jason pulls a Jack Nicholson and starts chopping through the door. But he takes a TV, an old school, fat back TV, to the head. She picks up the TV.

That's nice. That looks really good as well.

She knocks him out because he collapses to the floor.

I'm not surprised.

And then we get a scream too, I think it was where they have to sneak out of the car, and it's a bit like that this now, because they have to sneak through the little opening of the door and over Jason's body. But of course, Jason's awake and he grabs at them, and they manage to run off again into another room. Jason finds them in next door. She dives out of the window, lands on the ground, and you think, is she dead? But no, she gets up, she's a little bit worse for wear.

It's very quick. I'm surprised Tommy is so quick in thinking with this whole scenario going on. He is really strong minded. Obviously, he's going to crack after this.

So he thinks, how can I distract Jason? Oh, I know. I've seen a sketch of what he might look like as a younger kid, so I'll shave my head and put some makeup under my eyes and make myself look a bit like what he probably looks like under the mask at some point, which he does. While his sister is managing to fend off Jason, she does a pretty good job of fending him off, really. She machetes him between his fingers, GAV. Now that is nice, isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

Jason gets that.

It is quite good, yeah.

Machete between the two fingers, and he's just about to kill her when Tommy comes down the stairs and says, Jason, Jason, do I remind you of someone? Jason, you've got to remember, remember me? And he distracts Jason enough that Trish hits him in the face with a machete, which knocks his mask off, and we get a full frontal from Jason. Not nude. Tom Savini must have loved this, because this is probably the first time we've really seen Jason as an adult in the movies without his mask.

Yeah.

It's pretty much what he looks like. Tommy grabs the machete, chops him in the head. Amazing effect of him sliding down the machete as it goes through his head now.

Yeah.

But Jason is still alive, you know. We see his fingers move to Tommy then, and I counted. Tommy dives on him, screaming, die, die, die, and he has 14 chops. I counted 14 chops from Corey.

That's quite a lot of chops.

All while his sister is like, Tommy, no, Tommy. Because you can see her brother losing his mind with every chop of this serial killer.

Oh, yeah.

And as I said, he pretended that was the director when he did that. Psycho.

Not really. In a moment in time, you use whatever's pissing you off, so that would work.

Cut to the hospital. Trish is in the bed. They explained to her why Tommy acted like that.

Don't you feel like the movie should have finished at this point?

Yeah, it should have done, but they say to her, you've had this before, actually. The reason your brother acted like that is because under times of great stress and duress, somebody can perform feats of superhuman strength, which is what he did. He'll be fine, they say. Don't worry.

Very quickly, I do love it when Jason is killed. I do love the fact his face slowly goes down the pole as well.

Yeah, I did say that.

I know, I know. I just checked my note there.

It's good. Yeah, so they explain why Tommy did that, but they say, look, he'll be fine. Your brother will be fine. There's definitely not going to be a part five where he comes back as a psycho. It's the end.

It's fine.

Tommy hugs her, and then he breaks the fourth wall, GAV, and he stares right at us, the audience, as if to say, I'll be back. And then the theme kicks in, and we get the credits roll, and that's part four.

But that doesn't then, obviously, part five. Do you think that they were going to have Tommy then go on to be a serial killer in him and his older?

Well, let's talk about that more when we get to part five, because I think I've got a theory as to where they were hoping to take the series after part five.

Okay, let's do that when we come back. Now, I like this one quite a lot. Do you like this one?

Yeah, I do think it's probably in my top three.

Thumbs up, then?

Big thumbs up. You know, me and you probably got the same top three. It's probably six, four, one.

I need to get into it with you, and I'll slowly get to it. I can't tell you right now.

But I think six, four, one for me. But I love every one of these movies.

I even like Freddy vs. Jason. I quite like that film.

I would never turn down watching a Jason movie. If somebody put on Jason Manhattan, Jason X, whatever it is, I'll watch it.

I've watched Jason X in a long time, so where we get to review that, that'd be quite interesting.

Yeah, yeah. Holds up well, I think. Big thumbs up from both of us. You know, if you love your Jasons, you know what you're getting with this one. Some good kills, some off camera, some on screen. It's Tom Savini pulling out all the stops, but he does. And Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover's incredible dancing. Some boobs. It's got it all. What more could you want from a Jason movie? It takes all the boxes.

Absolutely. The next one does not tick my box, but we will get to it. So is that Bill?

Oh, boy, here he is. Hello, Billy Boy.

What videotape?

I don't know. He's talking about a videotape. Oh, the one that I watched last night.

OK, I'll watch it. OK, I'll watch it. Well, I'll watch it in a bit. We're getting to the next section, and then maybe I could watch it then, Bill. All right.

Come on, Bill. Weird.

I hope it's not anything weird that he's filming himself. Anyway, let's come back in a moment.

Hi, welcome back to World Of The Strange. Thank you, Bill, as always. Well, this is a different one. We've not done something like this before. This is a video on YouTube, on the Tube Reviews, that I came across a couple of days ago. Not literally, I watched it a couple of days ago. And I thought this partly reminds me of an element of Jason, but also it's fucking weird. And I thought you might want to watch this in a moment. And then we'll have a little break in a moment. You will watch it.

And a DJ?

And a DJ. Does like Happy Hardcore House, I think, in this case. He's an American. And he uploaded a video, it's about 15 years ago now, shows how long YouTube's been around. But apparently the video itself is a couple of years older than that because he recorded it on an old video camera and then uploaded it a couple of years later again. And the video just gets more and more bizarre as you watch it for the four minutes.

Okay, I don't know what I'm going to get here. All right, we'll be back in a minute. Well, guys, we've actually decided we're going to watch the video and record what's happening. So this is what is going on. This is real time, guys. This is live, my reactions. It says, my dead great grandma's coughing in my own backyard. Are we doing a reaction video right now?

We are. Right. Don't give any more away than that night though, although you're going to commentate on it as we go. So this is DJ Def Joey, okay? And there isn't really any sound because he's deaf, so he signs it, so there's subtitles all the way through, which is going to make it even easier. But yeah, we're going to tell you what we're watching. So here we go. So I'm just hitting play. So we get a cool DJ Def Joey logo come up.

I don't class that as cool, but okay.

There he is. He says, hello everyone. I wanted to show you a story about my WhatsApp around here. So it's a little bit because he's signing. That's a real casket.

This guy's about 60-ish. Long hair, looks like he's a rock musician, all gray hair, gray sort of goatee beard, trying to keep a bit cool. He looks like he's in a Grateful Dead or something.

This is great because I can pause it. I feel like I'm doing these. I've never done a reaction video. So yeah, he's signing to you about something that's behind him. He says, my grandmother passed away in 1945. What's behind him, GAV? What can you see behind him? What's that blue thing?

There's a tarp over, or cloth, I put it. No, it's like a tarp over something, which I'm presuming is a coffin.

Right, well, let's continue.

So what happened to his grandmother?

He says, I never met my great grandmother in prison. I was born eight years after she died. So that means the old cemetery can't have her anymore because of corruption. I'm not sure what he means by that. So I've decided to move her to my backyard. I'll show you my old video, which I filmed two years ago, and you will see the reason why. But please keep this quiet, OK? What, so you're putting it on YouTube?

Bye, and enjoy the next video. So corruption, it's probably builders building on cemeteries, like in Poltergeist.

Or corruption of the ground, as in maybe he means like the ground was like corrupt and they couldn't build on it anymore.

Very true. I might be looking into it way more than it needs to be. But OK, it seems to be like a dude just is back garden though.

Yeah, well, he's now going to show you the video that he filmed two years earlier.

Right.

So here we go. So this is him two years earlier. And he says, like and subscribe. And he also says, be positive and considerate when you see what I'm showing you.

What a style of music, see DJ?

Sort of house music. Now, here we go. So look, here's the tarp over the coffin, as you said.

This is two years ago. It looks exactly the same as a minute ago.

We're cutting to it now. My great grandmother's coffin in my own backyard is the logo that's come up.

Yeah, and we're back to outside of the spoon.

This old video was made in 2008, it says. And here we are. This is the video from 2008.

His hair.

So he says, remember when I showed you the story about the real human skull in my previous video? Jesus Christ. For starting off with that, GAV.

What do you mean, what human skull in my previous video? What were you talking about?

Well, I'll unpause it and you'll see it. It will just remind you, remember this one? Here it is.

OK, it's just got a skull.

OK, now I wanted to show you what my grandmother's casket. OK, casket right here. This is with my video camera. That's where my grandma's casket is over there. She died on October 31st, 1945, GAV. Halloween.

OK, and this dude is just standing in front of a window and needs to sign in all this stuff. And the text is still there. So nothing really going on at the moment. OK.

So she died in 1945, a long time ago. Her burial place, he talks about that again. 20 years ago, her cemetery area was corrupted and closed due to poor maintenance. All right, so yeah, I was right. I had to have her coffin placed in my own backyard ever since.

Has that happened with all families?

I suppose so. Bear in mind, he never met his great grandmother. He was born eight years after she died.

But it's next of kin as such, isn't it?

I've been taking care of her casket and watching it and checking it to make sure everything is OK, he says.

What do you mean watching it and checking it for you?

What do you think is going to happen? Is she a vampire? So I wanted to see what she looked like today. So I'm going to show you, he says. OK, here we go. Don't be freaked out, be considerate and realistic. OK, I'm ready to show you now. Pardon me, the background noise is terrible. Don't worry, it's just like noise of traffic going by because he's in his backyard. OK, so describe to us, GAV, what we're looking at here.

We're just looking at the coffin we're going around. It's a blue kind of coffin with some sort of steel parts coming out or cast iron or whatever, with like metal handles, a coffin.

OK, so he's going to open it up now.

What's going to be in it?

Well, his great grandmother who died in 1945. I don't want to see dead people. Well, I think this is the World Of The Strange.

I don't like this. He's opening it up. Oh, I don't like it.

Hang on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, because it's going to get better in a minute. And don't worry, this isn't a silly jumpscape, so describe to us, GAV, what you're looking at right now.

Well, we're looking at a fucking corpse. I'm looking at a bloody... I don't want to describe it. It's a head and a very clean wedding dress. It looks like it's still in. Well, I'm not looking.

The skin is very grey and stretched, so it's still got the skin on it.

I'm not looking at it.

And the hair is all sort of weirdly brushed out around like a spider, I suppose.

Well, it looks like he's done that for the fucking video, doesn't it?

Yeah, yeah. So he then just shows us her quite a lot now.

I don't like it.

OK, well, hang on, GAV, because you're going to want to look in just a moment. GAV's not looking at the moment.

If she moves, I'm going to have nightmares.

No, she's not going to move. I swear to you, she's not going to move. But you're going to want to see this bit now.

If he kisses it or puts his dick in her mouth, I'm not going to be happy either.

OK, you might not be happy then.

I'm not watching.

He's still showing us the close up of her face, which is barely a face. And then look, GAV, GAV.

No, I'm not looking. I'm not looking. You're making me feel sick. I don't like it, Dan.

And then he wipes his own mouth off.

I'm not looking.

And there we go, it's finished. So you can look back now.

No, I don't want to see it.

Wow, the jaws have opened. And then he says, don't be mean. Look, he's back now. Think positive. Cost lots of money.

I don't even want to look at him.

I put her in the right place here in my yard, hidden from public views. Sometimes when the weather isn't permitted, I cover her with a blue plastic tarp to last a longer time.

You're a fucking weirdo, mate.

Wow, I'm getting goose pimples. Oh, my grandma. She died on October 31st on Halloween's Eve. That's the sad part. And that's the end. It says, starring DJ Def Joey as himself and Catherine Lew Hall as my great-grandmother. Like, they both played themselves. Directed by DJ Def Joey.

Oh, I don't like that.

So describe what happened at the end there, GAV.

I don't know. I haven't been watching. That's why no one's been able to hear me.

You saw him kiss.

I saw a bit of him kissing, and I just didn't like it. I didn't like her looking at her in the first place. I don't like real-life horror. And I know it's not horror, it's just Def, but it's a rotted corpse. And then he goes to kiss it. And I was, oh, you've made me feel all horrible. I feel like when we covered Jimmy Savile in Sarah and I's podcast, that's how I feel right now. I feel violated.

So yeah, it's a four-minute video. It's really bizarre that it's still on YouTube. And it's a guy showing you his great grandmother's corpse, which, you know, is from 1945. And at the end of the video, unexpectedly, he gives her, like, five or six kisses on the mouth and then quickly wipes his mouth away like he regretted it instantly. And then he goes over and sort of does something to her mouth and says, wow, the jaws are open now.

He's putting his dick in it later.

Do you think?

You really took me somewhere then. All that reaction was real, and I hated it. I hated every moment of that. I'm not happy with you right now.

Well, come on, it was worth it for the listeners. But yeah, the reason I saw this the other day, well, I saw somebody mention it.

I love the fact of reaction video. You expect it just to be like a normal reaction video. No, you put me through something I didn't want to see, and I didn't know that was going to happen. So that's all legit.

The reason it reminded me of Jason is because Jason's mum looked a bit like that.

I thought the guy looked weird. I didn't want to say anything. I thought he looked a bit weird, because I thought he's deaf. I won't say he's weird, because that feels like I'm being deafest or something, which I'm not. I'm not deafest in the slightest. And then when it cut to him with that a bit earlier, I was like, why is that with that hair? I did say the hair, but his hair looked like some sort of bell-shaped hair, and he just looks a bit odd, this character.

So if you guys want to check it out, it's DJDevJoey.

It's going to be an ancestry.com.

DJDevJoey, it's on YouTube. It's a four-minute video if you want. It's nothing. You can stomach it, but it is weird that he kisses her on the mouth five or six times at the end of the video.

Oh God, that was horrible.

And the fact that she died in 1945, and her skin is still kind of on a bit, I guess. I'm not sure really, but it is weird, man. Why is that guy uploaded that to YouTube? And why is he saying be positive and be kind?

Why would you share it with me?

Because it's World Of The Strange, and Bill Murray wanted us to see this together. That is one for the records. This will probably go down as my favorite World Of The Strange in ten years.

The funny thing was, though, I was thinking we should have been filming it because I thought, oh, it looks all right, actually. We did like a reaction video, and that would have been amazing because you'd just have me looking down with my hands over my face, which I still kind of are.

Honestly, listeners, he wouldn't look up.

No, because they won't be able to hear my voice properly.

But yeah, he barely looks out for the last minute of the video.

That's horrible. I don't like body horror.

It's not just horrible, though. Isn't it weird that he's... It's not so weird that he's got her in the back garden because I understand that it costs a lot of money to have somebody re-buried.

No, it was weird when he said... When you said straight away, I've been just keeping her on it.

What?

Why are you keeping her on it? Bury it. What are you doing?

Yeah, at least bury it in your back garden or something.

What's it supposed to be? It's not supposed to be up there when you feel horny.

It's probably illegal to have it in your garden anyway, really.

There's definitely many illegal things going on with him and his grandma. Great grandma. He's not correct.

Bill, where he is, rolling around on the floor in laughter at this. He loves your reaction to that.

I did not like it. I've put years of my life.

Well, that was World Of The Strange. Any final thoughts on that one?

World Of The Fucked?

That was it. It was just a deaf DJ, a deaf house DJ in America.

It's all weird, isn't it?

Kissing.

I thought it was just a deaf DJ, but it's all weird from the get go. All of it, everything. I should have known. It's even the look of him. It looks like he's in Grateful Dead, but he's a DJ. He does house music. Oh, but he's also deaf. What is going on here? This isn't normal. What do you do? How are you? This is me. This is what I do. That's not normal. That's a little bit out there.

It's fine to do whatever you want.

Also, my great grandma is in the garden, and I kiss her, and I'm horny.

Also, how small does he think YouTube is when he says, I'm just going to show you this video, but just keep this. Don't tell too many people about it. You're putting it on YouTube, dude. In fact, I'll tell you how many views it's had.

Oh, God. I don't want to ever get near something like that again.

Because it's quite...

I stay away for anything, any video footage of any corpses, or people seem to be corpses, or parts of corpses.

5.8 million views it's had.

Because people are fucking weird. Why would you want to watch it? I didn't want to watch it.

Because people talk about it, especially with TikTok now. Have you seen the video of this, that and the other?

It doesn't mean that you do it.

Yeah, but I thought, well, I've got to check this out. Because I watched the reaction video to that, and I thought, well, I've got to check it out. It's like the Two Girls, One Cup. You know, I didn't ever see the full thing. I only saw the trailer. That was enough for me. The trailer was enough. Jesus, it was awful. But there we go. That was World Of The Strange. GAV, you definitely got nothing you want to add to that before we let Bill.

I am going to get you... I'm getting you back.

Okay, please do.

Are you waiting to see? It will be like episode 548 of the Podcast On Haunted Hill. That's when I get you back.

Well, Bill's just started giving you a nice shoulder rub now to calm you down, hopefully. Why are you pulling that Vasovino? I don't know.

I don't know if he's doing that, if he's got two hands on me. How's he doing that?

I don't think he's doing it with his hand. Bill, you better take a sat up here.

Let's go to Jason. Please, Jason, make me feel better again. Take me to Camp Crystal Lake, where it's all much better. It's almost like a Lennon Skinner song. Goodbye.

That's all the time we've got for this week on World Of The Strange.

Next week, though, give me iron.

Careless pets.

If the memory of Jason still haunts you, you're not alone. Friday, the 13th, part 5, A New Beginning. You hear of trauma at age 12. Brutal self-defense, murder of a psychopathic killer. Boy, they've given him every therapy they can think of. It's wonder his mind isn't fried will the drugs have given him. The mindless, murderous fury that was buried with Jason has been reborn. And suddenly, terror has become child's play. Friday, the 13th, part 5, on New Beginning.

Friday the 13th, a new beginning, part five. 1985. Still haunted by his past, Tommy Jarvis, who was a child-

Sounds like me after that video.

Still haunted by his past, GAV- No, Tommy Jarvis, who was a child, killed Jason Voorhees, is sent to a secluded halfway house in the countryside, where the killing of a young man triggers a Brussels series of murders in the area. Directed by Danny Steinman, briefly starring Corey Feldman, and then there's a bunch of other people in it. So this is infamously the Jason movie that doesn't have Jason in it.

I unfortunately didn't get to see, I have seen it before, I didn't get to see the Camp Crystal Lake memories part on part five. Did you just see any behind the scenes?

A long time ago.

Otherwise, we could have said more about it. So at the end of the day, I'm going with what the fucking film is that I have on disk and what I can see. And what I can see is a film where people have come to watch the... Okay, I want to make kills, Jason. Should we go to the cinema this weekend? Yeah, let's all go. Yeah, brilliant. And go there to check out the kills and then see most of the kills off screen. Like literally off screen. Like the cheapest, quickest and easiest way to do a kill.

So I agree with you about the kills and the effects. Of course, you can't not agree. But what I think this makes up, where I think this film makes up for that is it manages to fill the movie with lots of very fun and interesting side characters and a character called Joey, who dies early on in the movie, who is one of my most hated characters in horror. He's up there with the guy from Texas Chainsaw.

We get to it, we get to it.

And there's also some fantastic sort of physical fighting, you know, and Toby is really fucking hench. He's been working out.

Is he a wrestler?

He is, isn't he? Because he puts that guy from the table at one point. It's amazing. We'll come to that then. So yeah, it's an odd one, this one, because, you know, it's not Jason we find out, you know, and there's somebody doing it as Jason for another reason.

I come back at this review in this film, knowing that, I fully well know that maybe I've seen this film multiple times, like I have all of the Jasons. But still, even with that, that didn't actually bother me whatsoever that I knew that ending. I was like, oh, I know it's not. I know it's the Ambulance Man. So while watching it this way, spoiler, it's the ambulance driver. I'm sure most people have seen him. So knowing that, it was interesting.

Many, many colorful fish.

And so this way, one time, this way round, I don't mind knowing that because I knew it was someone else, not Jason. So I was watching it and going, okay, what's going on here? So I had questions. The chief who's completely fucking inept does kind of explain what's going on later on with who it is and what was going on right at the end, but it doesn't really make up for the actions he does or doesn't do in it.

What I would also say is part six is definitely where the Friday franchise adds comedy.

Is that the one where the lightning strike and the pole at the beginning?

It is, yeah.

That's a good one, yeah.

But this movie does start introducing some elements of comedy as well. There are some very funny, dark comedy elements, and then there's a very funny mother and son duo that turn up a couple of times. You've got Demon in this singing with his girlfriend while he takes a shit. So there's some really funny stuff happening in this, but it's not a full on, it's not a full on action comedy horror like number six is, because number six is a slapstick fest.

I just don't understand why the kills are so bypassing us. It's why, what the guy's about, he's a killer. Why are we not seeing the kills? It's really weird. It's like making a cooking program and I'll go, okay, and here we go, and not showing you the cooking.

And here's the finished product.

And yeah.

All right, well, let's get into it, shall we?

A new beginning, is this the reborn of Jason? Is this what we're doing? Rebirth, are we?

Well, he is reborn at sort of at the beginning, but then he's in the next one as well. I think what they're trying to do with this one, to cut to the end, I think they were trying to set it up so that Tommy Jarvis would pick up the mantle, pick up the mask and the machete and carry on as the new Jason. I think I felt like that's what they were trying to set this up. And I think that's why this was the new beginning.

I suppose that's an interesting take of what you're saying there, because they essentially said that it's going to finish. So you probably thought, well, it's to see how much money it makes. Oh, it's still making money. Let's do another one. But at some point, they decided that title and the last one was an ending. So you must have had someone saying, we need to kill this awful save. Maybe, I don't know why, because it's a cash cow.

And maybe because it isn't Jason, we won't show the kills.

And it's not showing the Jason as well. This is a bit, it's kind of like, it's the problem everyone had with Halloween 3 season of The Witch. It didn't have Michael. So people were pissed with that. And maybe this is the same thing, but it must have done, it would have done enough money though, because people would have been great. We could go back and see Jason. It's only right at the end when that happens. They go, oh, it's not Jason. And if it makes you sad about that, then okay, fair enough.

Don't forget as well, before the internet, if you put the final chapter as a subheading on a movie of a franchise, people are going to be like, oh my God, we've got to go and see this. So that's going to put bums in seats. And then if you put a new beginning, that's going to sell it as well, you know, people are like, oh my God, he's back. So yeah, we love Jason.

I'm glad he's back again. And probably there might have been a thing where, what's the year, how long year from this to the other? That's going to give us 85. So the other one was 84, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was.

But then they must have, the thing is though, if it's fucking, if they're released a year later, they would have gone pretty much straight into production. So they must have known they're coming back.

Well, Corey looks relatively the same age for the brief scene he's in.

Yeah, because kids of that age, as we see with Stranger Things, I think the new last season is coming out soon, they've got to do some de-aging of the kids. Like, fucking hell.

I mean, it shouldn't be going that long.

They're all old people, you know.

I'm 13 years old. No, you're not. OK, well, let's get things off. So we start off with the opening, as we know, from what you mentioned earlier, this was filmed in someone's back garden, but we've got the rain, and we see Tommy wearing a yellow IT raincoat.

Absolutely. I do. I do love one thing about Friday, 13th before a staple of it. There's a lot of rain and thunderstorms in these movies, and I'm a big fan and the woods. I'm a big fan of those as well. And this is probably where all my love from all the shit comes from. It's a Friday, 13th, maybe, you know.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, Tommy is creeping through the bushes in the rain at night, and he comes across Jason's grave. But some other people are there as well.

It kind of doesn't make sense. What's up with him? Why has he decided tonight I'm just going to go out in the pouring rain just to check on Michael... Jason's...

Freddy Krueger.

Freddy Mercury.

Jesus Christ.

Jason's grave. And oh, there's other people coming out as well. Oh, they're going over to Jason's grave as well. What's a coinkydink?

Freddy Mercury would have been a really amazing person to play Freddy Krueger, because imagine him delivering theatrically some of those lines. That would have been brilliant. He would have been really camp and theatrical with everything, and it would have just been a very different set of films.

Born with extra teeth, wasn't he?

He was, yeah.

That's what gave me that singing voice.

Wow, that was a brilliant impression of Freddy Mercury.

It was incredible, wasn't it?

Greatest frontman that ever lived, in my opinion. Yeah. Amazing band. But we're not talking about Queen.

I enjoyed the movie, Freddie Mercury.

Yeah, it was all right. They butchered his life story, as they do.

Did they? Oh, okay, I didn't know.

I know it well, because my dad is a big Queen fan.

The doors did, Oliver Stone. I fucking can't stand the doors, maybe, because the portrayal of Jim Morrison is terrible. It's just like, what? It's like the stories portrayal. That's not the real man.

The Amy Winehouse one is the same that came out recently. I haven't seen the Bob Marley one, but I've heard that they've cut out some bits and bobs of that as well. But it's theatrical, isn't it? It's the bits that you want to see. You don't want to see the bits where they're doing crack and raping people and whatever else some of these celebrities have got up to.

I like the fact that Amy Winehouse is tattoo artist in that movie. He's my tattoo artist.

There we go, look.

Because it's Ben.

Benny Boy.

He was doing some work the other day on a movie, and he was a prisoner, and it was like a load of other prisoners. It was going to be a big fight, something to do with heroin or something in the prison, and he had to storm in. And the camera, the director liked him so much. The person that was going to be doing some lines and stuff is out, and they've got Ben in as well, because he's screen test really well.

Amazing.

Yeah.

Well done, Ben.

Yeah, so beating someone up in a prison, I think.

Sounds great.

Yeah, and he's got to get inside a washing machine or something. He doesn't know what's going on.

Oh, wow.

I wonder if you're hiding or someone's put you in it. And I said, hopefully, it's not a sort of a pornhub scenario.

Or are you stuck? Step son. Step son.

Never know.

I was trying to reach.

It is prison.

Anyway, Tommy Jarvis sees these two guys who are like, yeah, man, Jason Voorhees is buried around. It's kind of like, you know, Jim Morrison's grave or Jimi Hendrix. People want to go and do a line of coke off the grave. These guys want to go and find Jason's grave. So Corey Felburn hides and watches them digging up Jason's grave. They dig it up. The mask is still on the body. There's worms coming out of the eyes. It all looks very good.

Yeah, it's kind of fun here. This is great.

One of the guys grabs a machete. Why would you bring a machete to Jason Voorhees' grave?

What will you do when you're both sitting at home? What should we do now when it's pouring rain on a Friday night?

The internet hasn't been invented yet. What should we do?

Well, should we go to Jason Voorhees' grave?

What, you want to dig him up, GAV?

Should I take this machete? Why not?

It's kind of like going to, I don't know, I'm trying to think of like a...

I don't know what you could match that with.

A superhero or a villain that uses a particular... It's like Thor. It's like going there and digging him up and then having a big hammer with you. Like, you wouldn't take a machete. Why would you do that?

Oh, I see what you're saying. Actually taking his choice of weapon. They're idiots anyway. They deserve to be killed.

Well, they both get killed because he kills them both and then sits up in his grave. Great shot of him sitting up in his grave.

I was like, what? They buried him in a mask? Really? Should that be in evidence?

They probably said, we won't bury him with his machete just in case, but we will bury him with his mask. Surely no one's ever going to dig him up and bring a machete to the grave.

On a dark and stormy night.

With lightning. But he kills them both, and lightning strikes. He sits up in his grave. It looks great. He looks directly at Tommy.

It's cool.

You're fucked. He raises the machete, and then Tommy wakes up.

And it's a big Tommy.

Yeah, he's older. He's probably about 18, 19. He's big as well, though, in that he is really buff. Like, it's ridiculous. Like, this kid must just work out all the time. Because, like you said, later on, he body slams someone through a table. I wouldn't want to mess with him, you know. He killed someone when he was 11 years old. Well, sort of. He's older. He's traveling in the back of a wagon.

It's an Institute of Mental Health wagon with two professionals driving it with a barrier, stopping him to get out and probably lock doors.

You're saying professionals. One of them is looking at a porno mag in the front seat, isn't he?

It's professional in the 80s. That is as professional in the 80s.

It's like, right, you do the driving, you take this crazy lunatic in the back seats to the camp, and I'm just going to quickly look at these boobs. Brilliant. Tommy's just sat in the back trying to appear, thinking, I remember when I was a kid trying to see boobs through my blinds before my mum interrupted me.

Yeah.

And yeah, they arrive, and we get the credits and the score.

Mm-hmm.

Same score. Same types of credits. Explosive on screen. I don't know why the Jason's credits are always so sort of... I don't know. They feel like canon movie credits.

Yeah, but they keep... You know, one thing you've got to say with Jason in the Friday Photo Series is that they really do keep a lot of the same stuff. All the movies do feel very the same, which is probably one of the reasons I kind of like it, maybe. I don't know.

Maybe. Yeah, it's comfortable. You know what you're getting. You know, even though it's like a blueprint, you're comfortable with that.

This mental health institution is run kind of badly, I'm going to say. I think it gets shut down. There's some issues going on. There's some problems, I feel. We see Tommy turn up at the house, and there's a load of general people around, and Tommy goes to his room, and he's like, he gets sorted. He's got a big knife. Why has this kid got a knife? Who's like killed someone as a kid? He's got a big knife. Why is he not searched? This is not very good.

So let's paint the picture for our listeners. Not that you wouldn't know, but this is the Youth Development Center, obviously very near Camp Crystal Lake.

In the middle of the woods, and presumably quite a good place to try and do this sort of thing.

So what they're doing is they're bringing kids here that are troubled or have committed crimes or been through trauma, and they're trying to rehabilitate them back into the real world by giving them jobs to do like chopping wood. So here, Mr. Psycho, have an axe, chop some wood, you know, that kind of thing. That obviously isn't going to go well.

I didn't know how to PC, he put it in my notes of what I thought of him.

Do you want to say what you actually wrote or?

Actually, I don't know what I put. But it just does come across as a little bit slower, I guess.

Well, Pam introduces herself. She's one of the directors. She says, hi Tommy, nice to meet you. Let's take you to go meet the doctor Matthew. He's the guy that runs the place. I'm the co-director. Let's go, let's take you in the office. And he goes in and he sits there silently, doesn't say anything. He's got a lot on his mind, you know. I used to be Corey Feldman, he's thinking. What happened? They explain the rules. You know, you're here to re-enter society.

So he's made his mask like, but Corey used to make masks. Corey, Tommy used to make masks.

But he is Tommy, isn't he?

Oh, yes. Tommy's got a mask. Oh, right. Sorry.

So, yeah, he's like really impressed. But that reminds the audience that this is Tommy Jarvis from the last movie. He's just not Corey Feldman anymore. Even though he was in the opening scene, he was way too coked up at the age of 13 to get on board. No, he was filming other movies. I do apologize. A cop shows up.

This feels like quite unusual and different cop firm, well, sheriff firm, the average movies of these. Generally, someone is a bit of an asshole. He might be all right and say, you know, kid, I like what you're doing here, but you got to keep it in check, that sort of thing. But most of the time, he's probably an asshole. Don't be smoking weed, don't be having sex, and just laying down in the law. They're all like, for fuck's sake. This guy is completely different.

Yeah, he says, Dr. Matthew, he says to him, Dr. Matthew, I found two of your kids on Ethel's property screwing their brains out in the woods. And everyone starts smirking. And he says, no, I get it. We're all kids once. But if Ethel catches them on their property again, she is going to go crazy. She's going to blow their brains out.

I guess the scene works better with the cop not being like that, because then Ethel does turn up with her special son. Junior. And she jumps out, and the sheriff actually says to her, oh, Ethel, boy, don't you look lovely today? And she says, shut your mouth!

She says, oh, horse shit. She says, sheriff, you need to close this damn loony bin down. Yeah, you tell them, mom. Tell her. You tell them, mom. Shut the fuck up, you dickwad.

She says names my mom's never said to me before.

Yeah, she is going crazy. She says, shut the fuck up, Junior. And then she says, I'll tell you what, sheriff, if I catch these kids on my property once more, I'll blow your fucking brains out.

Later on, she calls me a big dildo. My mom's never called me a big dildo. Did your mom ever call you a big dildo?

No, she never did.

Never did? It's not something you might hear mom say.

She says, I'll blow your fucking brains out if I catch on my property again. And the sheriff's like, no, Ethel. And he puts his arms on it. She goes, don't you fucking touch me. I got a bomb on me. She is full on crazy lunatic.

So she lives out in the middle of nowhere on a farm, really hyped up. She's got some ADHD through the roof and with her son is pretty much the same. The fact that he has to release his tension later by going around on his motorbike really fast. And it's funny now knowing a lot of mental conditions and just be like, whoa, dude, you need to find a different way to it and let that out, you know? That's not good.

So the sheriff says to Dr. Mathula, you've seen what they're like, because they ride off then, and he says, I'll do my best, but she probably will blow someone's brains out.

But to be fair, she's in her own right. It seems to be one of the reasons a lot of people do like, say, the guns in America. So we could protect ourselves and our property, etc. If you go on there, I will shoot you. So they should be like, let's probably not do that.

And then the scene closes with the sheriff saying, Dr. Matthew, am I right in thinking that the Tommy Jarvis kid showed up today? He's like, yeah, he arrived about an hour ago. Why? And he's like, no, just checking on it. That's all. Just want to make sure everything's all right. So Tommy Jarvis is a bit of a name. You know, people know that he was very young when he apparently killed Jason Voorhees, so everyone's interested in this story. And then we cut to... Let me cut to Vic.

Here we go again. Failings of your Institute. Why are we shut down? Number two. Here we go. Failings of this. You're giving this guy, who's definitely got anger issues, you're giving him an axe, chopping wood.

He's a very big, strong, muscular man as well. You can swing an axe, as we can see. Chopping this wood up.

It's why we're shutting you down. That's only number two. Violations.

Okay, GAV's keeping a record.

Number three is he actually killed someone. Did you know yet? He actually chopped someone up with it. That's number three.

Well, let's get to that. So he's chopping the wood, and Joey, the slower, larger gentleman, comes out. He's got chocolate all around his mouth.

And he's holding a chocolate barn. It's all over his hands.

He goes up to two of the girls who are hanging laundry.

New sheets, put them out. Very almost original Halloween again. I do get Halloween vibes in this movie a lot, by the way.

One of the sort of girls that we always get is only, she's always got a walkman on. She can't ever hear anything.

She's like a Madonna or a like, but break dancing Madonna or a like.

And he's like, hey girls, what are you doing? And they're like, we're hanging the laundry. Leave us alone. And he's like, oh, I hang laundry real good. Let me help you. And they're like, no, go bother someone else. He's like, do you want a candy bar? I'll share it with you, but only half. And he's covered. He's like a toddler covered in chocolate. And then he says, let me help. And he grabs the white sheets, GAV, didn't they?

With chocolate hands. So they're like, oh my god, girl Wayne. She's like, right, that's it then. It's like a fucking hell.

He basically says like, that's it. If you're not careful, I won't be your friend. It's like, well, they probably don't really want you to be their friend, to be honest.

They don't, of course they don't. But I imagine you're right. He does probably have a medical age of like, someone under 10 easily.

Well, he makes the mistake of going over to Vic, the woodchopper.

As the supervisor of the Institute, like, just be sitting there watching it. I'm just going to keep an eye on the angry guy with the axe. I know I said he could have an axe. June, I know I said he could have an axe, the angry guy, and you are probably right, but I'm just going to keep an eye on them. Oh, that other one is that really annoying kid. He's got a chocolate bar, and he seems to be going over to the guy with the axe. He's really angry, and his temper blows.

So I need to mention quickly that this Vic guy is definitely channeling Clint Eastwood. You know, his face is quite Eastwood-y, and the way he delivers his lines, and he's sort of growling, and he's chopping away with this axe. You know, wood doesn't stand a chance, and Joey goes up to him. He says, Hey, Vic! Wow, that sure looks like fun, chopping that wood. I've never done it before. Leave me alone, kid. Oh, OK, I suppose you could say that, but I just want to be friends.

No, no, what the line that gets him, it's not even that bad. It says to him, you're out of line. That's what he says to him and makes him flip. Do not give this man an axe.

You're out of line, Vic. And then that's what he says. But I think I tell you something, and you think he's going to say, go fuck yourself. He says, I tell you something, Vic, I think you're really out of line.

And that's it. And that makes him go and kill someone.

He turns his back on him, and Vic just takes to him with an axe, and he chops him up real good.

Did the cop shoot him?

No, he's in the back of the car. He's in the back of the cop car.

So later on, just after that, they go, oh, you've set two places.

Oh, that's because he's in the cop shop.

Yeah, but they said, oh, yeah, because one's dead and he's not there. OK, of course.

Yeah, so he chops Joey in the back and continues chopping at him.

Before that, though, all the kids witnessed this. Spoiler, yeah, of course. The ambulance turned up, didn't they? So we need to get into this. Being it as a spoiler, maybe.

Well, this is the next step. So he's just chopped him up. Ambulance shows up.

And this is obviously, we're spoiling it. We know the ambulance driver is the colourful fish in this film. He is, in fact, the red herring. So we know this. So I was like, right, I'm going to watch the reaction of this guy. I want to see the clues. I want to see what's going on. It's quite obvious. But if you're watching this first time, it must be like, why is this ambulance driver really shocked by this guy's death? And the other guy's going, Ha ha ha! His mate's going, Oh, look at this!

He's really meeting the other guy because he shows the chopped up body to all the kids. They've already witnessed him die, and then he pulls the sheet back and says, not knowing that this is the dad of Joey as well that he works with, he says, Oh, look at that! He's really chopped up! And they're like, Oh my God, put this sheet back! And, you know, the kids are already distraught, as you would, you know, I've never seen someone chopped up in real life. It probably wouldn't be very nice.

You saw my reaction, you heard my reaction, saw a dead body earlier.

And they start talking about, what does he have? Anybody? No, Joey had nobody. I mean, his mother died during labour. And apparently his dad, no one knows anything about his dad, but his dad's right in front of them, obviously, loading up his dead son into the back of the ambulance. So that's the spoiler, guys. Jason is going to be actually not Jason, it's going to be this paramedic all the way through the movie.

Oh, he thinks he's done a world of favor.

He really does.

We cut now to two guys who are on their way to the Blue Oyster Bar.

Oh, yeah.

One of the police academy, they're all up in their sort of grease clothing, aren't they?

They are. This is Pete and Ray or Roy.

I think these guys are hyper and they've been drinking too much Red Bull.

Fix the car, fix the car, fix the fucking car. Instead of singing to each other.

What is up with these two?

Coking.

Ah, I would say one hell of a drug.

So, yeah, these two guys again, GAV, cars broken down in the woods. Something about these words happens a lot. And it's Vinny, Vinny and Pete, sorry. And one of them says, I'm going to I'm going to go take a shit.

But one of them says these cunts aren't going to wait. Did you catch that?

I did. Wow. Naughty foul mouth. Get some soap in that mouth.

I can't believe that word was used in a movie in 85 in America.

I heard it in earlier films than this.

Probably. It's just not very often, you know.

No, you don't hear it in these sort of teeny.

Feels like a new cool word, cunt.

All right, don't say it so horribly aggressively. Cunt. That's enough. So yeah, one of them goes to take a shit. Yeah, that's like there's a lot of shit in the woods in this movie as well. So, yeah, while he's taking a shit, Jason kills the guy who's trying to fix the car with a flare in the mouth, which is quite good.

Actually, I'll give them for this first kill. That guy is obviously a fake head of that. But that looks actually OK. I'll go with that.

It reminds me of brain dead light bulb mouth head woman.

It made me feel promising for this film and its kills.

Jason's never used a flare either. So well done, Jason, for thinking of that one. He thinks on his feet, Jason, doesn't he? He's like Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan will use any object in the room to take out the opponents. Jason's like, what have I got around me? A flare, a screwdriver? I'll just crush your head with a belt around a tree, whatever it takes.

Well, his aim is to kill, so yeah.

He loves it. He absolutely loves it. The other guy comes back and says, if you fix the car yet, come on, you idiot, fix the fucking car. And then he starts singing a song about, fix the fucking car, because I want to get laid. Someone's in the back seat.

He thinks his mate's still alive because his head's in the bonnet. And he just gets in the car, and he's trying the car. It's not working, man. It's not working, man. It's not working, man. Oh, it's working! It starts up just at that point. But they lost a trick on this. They missed a trick. They could have had him look out, just look up, and look at where his mate is through the gap in the bonnet, or something, and see him dead. They would go, oh my god! Then he gets killed. They missed that.

Or maybe see the body on the ground.

Or just know his mate's dead. It would give him that shock factor to make the tension more, but they missed out on that.

Well, either way, Jason does the old backseat trick and slices his throat from behind.

Which is like, it was done in Halloween 1.

It's been done a lot, hasn't it?

It's not, at this point it went, oh, that's been done in Halloween 1.

It's a bit of a giallo kill as well, isn't it?

It's just not, it's okay, but it's been done, yeah.

Yeah. Tommy wakes up, PTSD, he is a sweaty boy.

He's a sweaty boy.

And in his head, he can hear Cory Feldman, I mean, if I woke up hearing Cory Feldman going, die, die, die, I'd probably be...

Was that Cory Feldman?

Why is he in my head? Yeah, he's very sweaty. He takes his pills, he sees Jason in the mirror, and then he's not there. I'm looking at the Jason in the mirror. Michael Jackson for you there. Yeah, so we're getting the impression that he's got PTSD. He hears voices, his own voice. He also sees Jason here and there as well. Breakfast time. It's breakfast for the camp. Now Reggie, little reckless Reggie, says to his granddad, Gramps, can I go and see my big brother Demon later on? What the fuck?

But we don't know it's his uncle, but then we do find out because we give him a kiss or whatever. Now don't do that, uncle.

No, it's his Gramps. He says, don't be afraid. Don't ever kiss me like that in front of anyone. Because he's a cool dude. He doesn't want people to know.

By the way, I'd kind of forgotten at this point here. I went, it's the ooo baby couple. And I was like, yes, I almost missed you. I just realized.

They'll be coming up in a minute. So they sit down to breakfast, and this is where the girl with the...

Place is two plates, but one's dead. So they have a go at her. She's like, well, I forgot. Well, to be fair, she's just very careless.

Well, then Reckless... Well, Gramp says, don't think Vic or Joey will be joining us for breakfast. And then Reckless Reggie says, or any other time. And they're like, oh, too soon. And yes, it's all a bit awkward, because they're trying to have breakfast the day after one of their guys was killed. And they all say, we miss Joey, he was annoying, but we do miss him. He didn't deserve to be chopped up with an axe like that. I mean, I say he did, GAV.

I want you to get stuck in an elevator with him and think me to you from Texas, Texas, Nebraska.

Jesus fucking Christ.

What's he called?

I can't remember his name now, but...

It's because we put it out of our minds.

There's another character that annoys me a little bit. Evil Dead. Evil Dead 2. Barbie Jo!

Yeah, yeah.

That guy. Just the way he says it.

Tommy comes into the kitchen area, and this shows him almost like an autistic-ness to him. He asks him to go upstairs, go and ask someone to come down for breakfast. And he stands there for a long time. It really gets to show kind of where he is in his mental state.

He says, Tommy, go tell Eddie to come downstairs. He's not here.

And he has to say it a couple of times. They've all been very patient with him, and he's like, OK. But then fucking Nick just goes out the window, because this mate he comes in just scares him.

Eddie's nicked one of Tommy's masks, and he jumps out and scares him. Tommy wastes no time here. He power bombs him through a table.

He really speedily just wrestles him, doesn't he?

And then not only does he power bomb him through a table, just like you'd see in WWF, he then sits on top of him and begins pounding at his face for ages, and they have to pull him off of him. This guy is unhinged and strong.

And he's got a knife in his room.

Fucking hell, and loads of masks.

Yeah. He's got a serial killer written all over him.

Yeah, so let's cut away to Ethel. Chopping up a chicken.

Stranger turns up.

Yeah, well, first of all, she's chopping up the chicken and she says, I'm going to chop you up just like they chopped up that crazy pig in that loony bin. So she's just... The news has already filtered to her and her son, and her son's eating the stew outside. He says, you tell him, Mom. He keeps copying everything she says. This is where she says, shut your face, you big doodle. Just made me laugh so much. Yeah, and then the hobo shows up.

Which is like, I said earlier, it's kind of like a red herring. It's weird though, if we just had the kills going on and this character just turned up, and it wasn't a Friday the 13th movie, it was a horror movie or whatever it was, we'd be like, this guy's going to be the killer. And then we find out it's not, it's this person like a murder mystery or a jello. But it's really weird though, because obviously we know who the killer is, it's Jason. So it's such a strange choice, I find.

It reminds me a little bit of Fred Ward from Tremors.

Yeah, that sort of rough edge.

And he says, I'll do anything for a meal, ma'am. And she's like, go clean up the chicken shit then.

He just kind of comes and goes, doesn't have any more lines. And that's it. Next time we see him, he dies. It's a really weird choice. I don't know, is it just filling in the numbers for the kills? But if you only get all the kills off screen, what's the fucking point?

Well, cut to the police searching after the last couple of murders. And Roy, the paramedic, is acting weird. We know why now. He's acting kind of strange because he's worried they might find out it was him. And we then meet Lana's boyfriend. Now, Lana works in a diner. And her boyfriend is sporting in a fantastic 80s moustache.

I'm calling him Moe Slaphead.

And he has got a moustache that only you could wear in the 80s. And he's got more cocaine than Columbia itself in his car. He is having a great 80s night out, this guy.

He's waiting for his blonde lady with big boobs to come out in his sports car with his cocaine, his big moustache, and his big slaphead. And he is going to party like it's 1985.

He's been... He does about five doughnuts in the parking lot, and he says, Hey Lana, what do you want? Take away? And he's like, yeah. And she's like, okay, I'll be right out. And he goes in...

He's listening to rock music.

He does a bit more cocaine. He says, he does like the usual, like a weather report says snow in the valleys.

Ha ha.

And then she...

I love the fact though, as I listen, a viewer, audience member, you're just like, yep, he's going to die probably quite soon.

He's doing cocaine in a Jason Voorhees movie. So he's waiting outside. She goes in, starts sprucing herself up for their date. She pulls her boobs out and shouts to herself in the mirror, Showtime!

Women, ladies, do you do this?

Do you showtime?

Even though you've seen your own breasts probably many, many times because they're your own, do you still get surprised to do a little showtime?

Showtime!

Do you do a little showtime, Dan?

Only when I'm doing an impression of Beetlejuice. Showtime! So Billy's outside getting the coke right up his nose. Lana hears a little crash, but then we get a cat scare. I'm not a fan of cat scares, GAV. Why is there a cat in the diner? Doesn't matter.

Yeah, a cat is blatantly thrown at this woman.

Sort of skids across the floor in front of her. Billy gets an axe in the head, outside. Lana gets in the empty car.

It's rubbish though. When it happens, it's just a quick zoom, real fast zoom into his eyes. It's a bit like, oh, come on, is that it?

Gav, you wanted to see the skull split, didn't you?

It's literally just bringing these people in to kill them. That's what we're finding now, we know.

She gets in the car, it's empty. She's like, Billy, where are you? Oh, I don't know where you are, but I found all this cocaine.

There's cocaine on the footwell of the car.

So she starts doing the coke, and then...

She's been over, she's low to the floor, door opens up, she looks out. It's Jason's feet.

And she gets out the car, gets an axe to the stomach.

Off camera.

But we do get a nice shot of her lying there with the axe.

You get a shot of that. That's trying to make up for it, but fuck off. I am not... I'm going to get angrier as we go over these kills. They get worse with laziness or whatever the problem.

If you get too angry, you need to chill out and watch that video from World Of The Strange. Let me know.

No.

Tommy, again, sees a glimpse of Jason out the window. A bit of a Michael Myers this moment there. It's like when people think they see Michael when they're hanging up laundry, that kind of thing. But obviously, it's not him. He's just seeing it in his head.

The mayor, we cut to just a random scene. It's a really random scene just thrown in there where the mayor, who we've not seen at all in the movie, and we won't see him again, and there's no point of him being there, is just discussing, like, you've got to sort out all these killings. What's going on? Who's doing this stuff? What's happening? How do you know about these things? Have they all been done? We only know about this one killer.

It makes it, he says, I'm holding you personally responsible for charity.

They only know about one killing, and they know who did that because they've arrested him.

No, no, there's been another two killings as well.

And they're aware of, right, okay. And he says, smoke his cigar, I know who did it.

And by this point, they might know about...

Jason Voorhees.

They might know about Koki Boy and his girlfriend at this point as well. So it might about be about five or six deaths by now.

And he thinks it's Jason Voorhees. So the other guy thinks he's full of shit.

He stands up and announces it. I know who it is. It's Jason Voorhees.

One thing here is interesting. I'm looking into this more than I need to, but let's pretend it's real life. When he says, I think it's Jason Voorhees, completely straight edge, is a guy behind him, who's obviously a deputy or whatever, just looks at the guy he's talking to, and he doesn't go, what the fuck? So it's like, have they already established, had this conversation? He probably says, hey, Binnie Bob, I reckon it's Jason Voorhees.

Yeah, they might have said, like, this is crazy, because apparently he died.

Obviously, the man's just like, what the fuck are you talking about? So he just says, just sort it out.

Yeah, he doesn't believe them.

It's kind of a weird scene, because the sheriff is so fucking inept, he has this knowledge where he thinks it's Jason Voorhees. Okay, so what's your plan? Just going to sit here, smoke cigars and get fat. Because he doesn't do anything like go out to Camp Crystal Lake and actually scope out what's going on. He would have made another person for Jason to kill. It's such a weird choice that they just have this, and him going, I think I know who did it. They don't do nothing about it.

He might as well have said as he walked out the door, and while you're at it, make sure you don't close the beaches.

Yeah, it's so weird. Well, he does not one thing about it, the sheriff.

Well, look, let's cut to the girl hanging laundry. This is the sex-crazed girl that was arrested earlier. Eddie grabs her, he does a little jump scare, and these two are so horny, they can barely keep their hands off each other. He says, let's go off to the woods and fuck.

Yep, and we've got some point of view again, and some, as they start to get in dress, the lady with the large bustle area.

Well, they put a blanket on the ground, don't they? Because they don't want to get any twigs up their arses while they're getting up to it. But yeah, it's not Jason watching them, it's the dirty hobo.

He licks his lips when he's watching. And then he's turned and he's stabbed, but we don't see any of it.

Yeah, you don't really see it, you just know he's stabbed.

It's like, what are you doing? So at this point, I'm getting angry about his kills.

Well, they start getting it on.

They have sex for less than a minute, and then he says, I need to clean up.

He does, he says, I guess I better go clean up. Now, does that mean he was doing her up the...

Yeah, in like a minute. That's some quickness.

And she seems very satisfied by it all.

That's weird.

Very satisfied by it all. So he goes off to clean up in the lake, whatever it is he's doing, and she's left alone, naked in the woods. Now, how much more vulnerable could you be than a woman lying completely naked on a blanket in the woods on your own?

Well, her fella's not far by, but all of a sudden, there is Jason there with hedge cutters.

He gives her the old burning.

Well, actually, it's not the ambulance driver with Jason mask on, but yeah, the burning, and we don't see it.

No, we don't see it, but I think this kill...

We'll show later on her eyes.

Yeah, I think it works well in this kill, because we see the after effects are quite good.

My note says weak source.

Fair enough, fair enough. Well, Eddie gets back and finds her lying on her side, and he's like, hey, because we didn't start up again before rolling her over.

See, this is a great kill. I love when Jason gets in there with the trees, and he really uses the nature to help his kills. This is a great one, straps him up, a leather strap around his eyes like a belt, and with a stick, starts twisting it behind the tree to make it tied to tied. It's brilliant, but guess what?

We don't see it. I want to see his brains come out of his eye sockets.

It wouldn't have been that hard to do. You could have already just cut to a shot with a load of blood bags underneath his eyes, and it just a load of blood come out, would have worked. It's so simple.

Well, don't worry, GAV, because we're coming up to the classic scene now. It's nighttime. Reckless Reggie wants to go meet his brother, Demon. Pam says, well, I'll take you. I'll take you there. Don't worry, because you're only a kid. And Dr. Matthew says, hey, I got an idea. Why don't you take Tommy, the psycho, with you? You could do with some air. Tommy, come with us. All right, then.

Weird mix. Tommy, you want to come to town with us, this young kid? OK.

So we get there.

Michael Jackson looking motherfucker.

I love this guy so much. He was also in Street Fighter, the movie, as DJ.

I love it, though. He's got this big American fan. It just doors open up. He's like Tommy. No, not Tommy. Was he Reggie? To his brother. And it's his big brother. He's kind of in like a Michael Jackson or Leather sort of clothing.

He's got like a soul glow wet perm going on.

And he says, here's my girlfriend. And it's just some girl in the back of a stone going, hey.

First of all, he says, where do you get that? To his jewelry. And then he says, when you've been around the world as long as I have, you get things. Then he goes, whoa, where do you get that? And looks at the girl and she's like, hey, how you doing?

And he says, hey, baby. And then he says, meet my girl. Yeah, Pam, babe, come over here.

Pam's like, I'm 25 years older than you, but okay. I'll play along with this, I guess.

But then he says to him, now. All right, okay, here we go. This is, we can get into the, we can start getting the shit conversations going.

Well, before you do that, though, they leave Tommy on his own in the parking lot to just hear voices. And Junior shows up on his bike.

The choices of these people that run this place.

Junior shows up, he goes, you're one of them loonies that my mama hates. And he says, I'm going to, he says, I'm going to punch you or something. And Tommy is a full on fucking ninja at this point.

I actually wrote Chuck Norris. His style of fighting is Chuck Norris'.

He's badass.

He's actually pretty good.

He takes Junior out, beats him up, and he goes, my mama's going to blow your fucking head off. She's going to chop you into itty bitty pieces, my friend. And then he drives off crying on his motorbike, screaming, leaving Tommy.

Well, just before that does happen, but it's going to conclude to where we're going to get to. He offers his younger brother food and Pam, first of all, taco, no. Egg roll. Different continents cuisine. All right, cool. Sausage pizza. So we were saying we're going Mexico, sort of China, Italy. All these foods.

He's got all this food in the back of his van.

In the van. Now, if he's eating that combo of food, taco, I'm going to have taco, and I'm going to have an egg roll, then I'm going to have some sausage pizza. If he's eating all that food, and enchiladas, he's eating enchiladas as well, because we know that.

And let's be honest, GAV, there isn't many places around to buy these. These are probably a couple of days old, some of these.

I don't know if they've just gone out and bought a load of food, but even if it is fresh, and he's making that mixture, that is going to be a problem. Now, my next thing is, because we're getting to the shitting, because it's got something we've discussed. I don't know how many podcasts have discussed the shitting scene in Friday the 13th, part 5, but it is something we need to discuss in a little bit of detail right now. Right, I hope you're not eating, listeners.

Well, Pam breaks that fight up.

Yeah.

Which means that she takes Reggie the Reckless away. Indeed. And we get left with Demon and his girlfriend.

Now, he's just sitting there. He says, Oh, the damn Angelanas! Basically, he's all of a sudden, he's got bowel movements. Now, my thing to you is this. This must be fairly regular for them, and they're shitting. And when they each do it, and their habits are probably known by each other. Shitting is probably something which is a bit more open with them than the regular couple.

Not yet, not yet.

I don't know if it's something that comes... No, I was married once part time, never happened in that one either. I don't know where it comes from. No one sang to me before while I took a shit, especially someone I'm having a sexual relationship with.

Well, I didn't have to take any notes for this scene. I've just put, what a scene. And I just thought we could just talk about it then. So yeah, so let's describe it. So he gets the bubble guts, he runs to the sort of the outhouse, sits down. It's a really horrible looking sort of toilet in a shack. And you see, you don't, luckily you don't hear it, but you see the look of relief on his face. Empties himself.

We've all been there.

Turns inside out, poor bloke. And he's like, oh, thank God. And then he hears a noise outside, and you think, oh, is he going to get killed by Jason?

The whole place is shaking, the outhouse.

Then he goes, you're going to get it, you bitch, if that's you. It's like quite harsh, what he says to his girlfriend. And then she says, it's me. Ooh, baby, ooh, baby. And then he sings back, hey, baby, hey, baby. And then she sings a bit again. And it's like, what is going on?

OK, let's turn this around. Leave her, leave him alone, woman. Let him have a bit of peace and time. A man likes a good poop.

She even says to him, you'll be scared when that snake crawls up the toilet and bites you on the ass.

Then she's trying to give him the fear. Don't give the man the fear.

I'm trying to take a shit. I don't want to think about snakes.

That's going to make his butthole go tighter. That's definitely not getting it out.

But the thing that relaxes his butthole, obviously, is singing a duet with her. So they sing the OO Baby song together.

Is there any other movie ever put out there which we can all watch, listeners, everybody in the world? We could go together, watch it in unison. Let's have a world clock day. We all synchronize ourselves, and we watch the movie at the same time. Is there another movie out there where a couple have a duet while one's shitting? If you know of one, let us know, because I've never seen it before. This is the only one.

You know, the crazy thing is, as you were saying that, I can feel my laugh coming, but also, you're right, you're fucking right. It's never really ever, ever happened. Probably in a weird porno, maybe, but not in just your standard horror film, or any film.

And the thing is, the actors in it are kind of doing a duet, like they're not one of them, it's not shitting. They're both in the same room doing a duet or karaoke.

What did these guys think when they got the scripts and they were like, oh, I've got a movie, playing just a small part.

Mom, dad, I've got a role, it's only for a day.

Like a bit of singing in there as well, you know, get to show off my falsetto. I will be taking a shit.

My boyfriend's had the shits and I go along and I pretend I'm Jason Voorhees and then we start singing together and then I'm killed.

Well, she dies outside the toilet.

So we'll finish that now. We'll put an end on that. The only podcast ever to have a conversation in depth about this scene.

This isn't the first time we've quoted this scene so many times throughout the 10 years of podcasting.

I actually thought when it came up, I was like, fuck, am I watching the right Friday the 13th? Am I supposed to? Have we already reviewed this? Because I remember discussing, oh baby, before.

This is great. It's what elevates this film.

I think I'm all right now. We can probably carry on.

This film.

It does. This is the best thing in the movie for me.

So the last film, the bit that people remember from the last film is Crispin Glover's dance. Yeah, this is it. In this film, people remember the shitting, singing scene.

Yeah, this is the best part of this movie. Sorry, I think it is. I legitimately think it is because it's so off kilter.

It's brilliant. He tries to get out the door, his girlfriend's dead body's on the floor, and then he's speared through the toilet. Probably hasn't had time to wipe.

When he says, you're gonna get a bitch, he sounds a bit like Rick James. Dave Chappelle's Rick James, should I say.

Well, the poor guy probably still got his trousers around his ankles. He hasn't wiped, and Jason spears him through the wall, and he is doomed dead.

They're both fucking killed off camera. We do get the spear coming through from the back, back going through the front, but we don't. We see just a shot of a spear stick out. It's like, come on. That's so cheap.

Back at the camp, everyone seems to be missing. There's only three people left. Pam says, okay.

Why didn't he stick the spear up the toilet?

That's what I was thinking. If Jason was a talker.

If they did a cannibal Holocaust.

If Jason was a talker.

Spear coming out of his mouth.

He would have said, forget enchiladas. Here's a shish kebab. If that's what Freddie would have said if he was doing that. You know what I mean?

Jason don't talk there, does he?

No, he doesn't. But yeah, they get back to the camp, and everyone's missing apart from three people. And Pam says, well, where's Dr. Matthew? He went out. Oh my God. Right, you guys all stay here. I'm gonna go and find him.

We do have, by the way, we have had a shot of the hit kid riding his motorbike in anger after being beaten up.

That's right. Then he gets to the, he then, we then see Junior driving around saying, mama, he hurt me, mama. And he's squeezing around in the front.

Is it just her and him living out there?

She's like-

What's he gonna do when she passes away or is too old? He looks useless, doesn't he?

She says, I'm trying to make your stew. For God's sake, Junior, will you shut the fuck up? I'm making your stew here. And he says, mama, mama. And then an ax pops out from me on the tree. Don't see anything.

No, it's off camera.

It's off camera, but he dies.

We do get a fake head roll along. So I give him a couple of points for that.

And then when he goes quiet, she goes, about fucking time, you fuckwad. Fuckwad, brilliant. Fuckwad. But then she gets an ax through the window and she dies with her face down in the stew that she's making. And that's Ethel and Junior gone now.

Now we cut to a couple. I didn't even know who, I was like, who are these guys? I don't even know who they were. And I was so bored, listen to them. I didn't listen to them. I don't know what they said this whole conversation, because it was like, this doesn't mean anything whatsoever. I don't know. So what did they talk about?

Well, the next bit is Pam driving to try and find everyone in the woods and her truck breaks down, because this is a Friday the 13th movie. And then we cut to Jake trying to make a move on Robin. They're watching a scary film.

Yeah, this, what was all the, so what they talk about?

He says to her, you know what? We've known each other for many weeks now. And you know, I really like being around you. And she's like, yeah, I like being around you too. And he says, no, I really want to be with you. And she laughs at him. She really laughs at him. And then he says, well, I wasn't trying to kiss you. No, it was a joke. Oh, and he gets all sort of-

We've all been there.

So he goes upstairs and there's a thunderstorm kicking in. She goes upstairs and is like, oh, why did I say that? I'm such an idiot. I was mean to him. I didn't need to do that. And then we got Violet dancing to her music in her room. She's doing some bad ass break dancing moves. It's cool, man. Really cool moves she's got in her room. I've been there when I was little, doing that in my room. You know, Jake gets killed with a cleaver.

He says, I want to talk to you. And I thought, is he horny? Is he going to? Is horny? Or is Jake wants to talk? She's like, talk to me later. She turns the door, leaves her room, and then gets killed with a machete to the face. Now, I know it's machete to the face, because there's a machete going towards his face, but guess what? It's all fucking camera. Fuck this effects person up the ass.

It wasn't Tom Savini, was it?

No, it was a massive effects crew, about 30-odd people, don't I? I have no idea. Bollocks.

Well, the scary movie downstairs ends, and Robin sends Reggie to bed. Well, she says, wake up, Reggie, but he's asleep. So she leaves him on the sofa to nap. He should have been in bed ages ago, but it is what it is. She goes up to her room. She strips, of course, GAV, strips down. She climbs on to the top bunk.

And she gets killed like Kevin Bacon in the first movie, but in the first movie, we actually saw it.

Well, she rolls over first and sees a dead boy in her bed.

Yeah.

And then there she gets a machete from under the bottom bunk.

Which we don't see. 34 people worked on this in the special effects team.

One of them could have put in a bit of brain.

One of them just said, can we just put some blood in? There must be a reason. I don't want to go too hard on them because it's probably a reason. I'll tell you what, listeners, I will watch the cap crystal like memories and I'll report next time.

Okay, good. Well, back to Violet. Still body popping and robot moving in her bedroom. Jason walks in. Of course, she doesn't hear him. She's just got her music on. She looks ranked. There's no one there. That's fine. This is a nice easy kill for Jason. Turns around and she just gets killed. I can't even remember how she dies, to be honest.

We just see a very close up of a knife in some material. No blood, no nothing. It's like, fuck this lazy effects fuckers.

Reggie then wakes up on the sofa, thunder and lightning. He goes upstairs and he finds all the bodies everywhere.

Whoa, lightning strikes. That's kind of cool.

It goes into Tommy's room and that's where all the bodies are, of course. So he screams, Pam says, what's going on, Reckless Reggie? He says, I won't believe what I've seen in Tommy Jarvis' room. She goes in, screams, oh my God, Tommy Jarvis has killed all these people. They're all piled up in his room. Come on, let's go outside. And they go into the woods. They see the paramedics car.

I bet Jason burst in, though. As thunder erupted, Jason burst in and they run off.

Oh, he does. He smashes through the door.

He bursts in and thunder goes, it's quite cool.

Like the, oh, yeah, guy, smashes in.

See, this is all quite cool, if they just put some effects in, that's all I want.

Another set up, though. He's still taking after, you know, even though it's not Jason, he's still doing what Jason would do. When they open the paramedic car, a body falls out. Yeah. You know, it's all stuff Jason would do.

Poor and refrain, this lady does not wear a bra and just has like a wet shirt competition with herself and she's winning the whole time. For this rest of this, she must be like, can I not wear a bra? Just something, you know, a vest underneath.

Well, Jason or whoever he is, paramedic Roy, it's not got the same ring to it as Jason for, he's paramedic Roy. He chases them into the woods. They get, they fall, they get separated. Pam sees Dr. Matthew's dead body. So we know he's dead now. She goes into an office. Jason throws grumps through a window, poor old Reckless Reggie's grumper.

I quite like the fact that Jason's still though, throwing bodies through windows.

He's like, he's read up on him, this guy. He's like, what else does he do? Oh, he throws bodies through windows. I'll make sure I do that as well.

And that's fine. I'm happy with all that.

She runs back outside. She falls over again. Jason's gaining on her.

This young kid's just learnt to drive a bulldozer.

Yeah, cause Jason's about to kill her with a machete when Reckless Reggie smashes out of the barn.

Did he just go, I know what I'm going to do. Oh, it was a bulldozer. Oh, here's the keys. Right. How did he know that Pam was going to jump out of the way?

His nickname is Reckless Reggie. He is reckless. Come on.

Wild card!

He's crazy. He drives straight through the barn, knocks Jason down.

At this point, I was going to say, are we going to say for a second movie in a row, Jason's defeated by a child?

Well, Pam and Reggie hug, but Jason grabs Pam by the leg. They manage to run off. Jason's now bleeding. So this is like, oh, that's something Jason doesn't normally do. He doesn't normally look at his wounds, but this Jason looks down at the wound on his stomach, and he seems to have been slowed down a little bit by that bulldozer. He then walks into the barn where he knows Pam and Reggie are. Pam attacks him with a chainsaw.

Very quickly, we do see Jason, close-ups of Jason, he's got really weird ear and stuff like that. Did they go put on a mask, then a mask?

Yeah, because you see that in a minute. Because Jason falls down onto this huge spiked machinery, the mask is off, the hockey mask, and underneath that is like a rubber mask, but the front of it is ripped open. So it's like he may have even, like, I don't know, Tommy might be something to do with the mask, I don't know. And it's Roy, the paramedic, which the first time I saw this film, I was like, who the fuck is that guy?

Now, Tommy was a 12 year old, killed Jason Rohes with a machete, and it fucked him up. Tommy's now older, and he's again killed Jason Rohes. Again.

You badass.

I know it's not Jason, and he's gonna find out he's now killed two people, which I don't think is gonna make him any better. I don't think it's like getting hit in the head once, getting hit in the head twice, it may make you better again.

He's back to normal now. Sorry I killed all those people.

Yeah, I feel alright now.

Bit of a weird, confusing ending now, and this is what leads me to believe they weren't quite sure where the franchise was gonna go, because there's a nurse in the hospital, and they go to Pam. Well, the sheriff explains everything to Pam about what happened, and oh, it was Joey's dad.

And again, what the fuck happened? Did you say, okay, what happened to you, Chief? Where have you been? What have you been doing? There's a load of murders, which I should have been super busy with, but I thought it was Jason, so we kind of hanged out here, waiting for things to play out, and then we just come in, clean up.

To be honest, Sheriff, it's all great that you know that it was Roy the paramedic that killed everyone, but he still killed everyone, for fuck's sake.

You could have been there, you know.

But essentially Roy lost his temper after finding his dead body, his son's dead body chopped up, killed all these people in a fit of rage over the last few days, pretended to be Jason Vorhees while doing it to cover up his killings. So he's a copycat. So Pam goes into Tommy's room, who's recovering.

Apparently, excuse me, apparently he's a bit of a loner, and didn't speak to anybody, kept himself to himself. And I don't know why he kept it quiet for so long. That was his son, which in some ways could be like maybe if he was just like, maybe he was a bit weird himself, but he was enough to be not weird, but it might be like mentally whatever, but enough to keep it with social society. But his kid couldn't or whatever, do you know what I mean?

If Jack starts wandering around in his late teens, early 20s with chocolate around his mouth, offering candy bars to everyone, I'm going to disown him.

You wouldn't know.

I would. I'd send him off to a looney bin. No, I wouldn't. And I don't condone these things. That's what they call it in this film. I don't really call them looney bins. Cuckoo's Nest. No, I'm joking. I don't call them that either. Yes. So we get like a fake fake out now where Pam goes into Tommy's room who's recovering. He pulls a knife on her and kills her, but he wakes up and it was a nightmare he had.

This book is like, is this movie not finished? What is going on? Why is it still playing?

He wakes up again in hospital, and he envisions Jason at the foot of his bed, and then his expression changes, and you start to wonder, is he going to be the next Jason then? That's kind of what they're doing. He pulls the red mask out of his cupboard.

And my note says, why is this film not finished yet?

And also, why is the hospital allowed to have a hockey mask and knife in the drawer of his hospital room?

Nicely placed as well.

He looks at it, he hears Pam's footsteps. She comes in the room. Oh, he's jumped out the window because the glass is smashed, but no, he's hiding behind the door with a hockey mask on.

And then we see it, and that's the end. Shh, shh, shh.

A new beginning.

That's awful.

What are you doing? Now, look, I actually rate this film slightly higher than I did the last few times I've watched it, but that's mainly because of the side characters like Ethel and Junior, obviously Demon and his girlfriend with the shitting scene. I love the fact that Tobi body slams that man through a table, and the unhinged element of all the people on this farm for children that need to be rehabilitated. I just love all of that stuff.

They didn't know what they were going with, did they?

They didn't. They didn't know where it was going, did they?

Trying something slightly different. And people don't like change, but really when it comes down to it, people come in there for the serial killers, and that's what they want.

If you haven't seen this, or you're a completist, I would give this a thumbs up. I probably would give this a thumbs up anyway, because it's got a lot of elements.

It's got some stuff. I'd give it a 5 out of 10, and otherwise it would be a lot less, but it has got those fun bits you speak of.

You've got to watch it just for the shitting scene. Of course, it just for that absolute craziness of that. I want to be there while they were directing that scene overnight, shooting at night. Action! No, I need to see more sort of grunting, like you're really...

I need to see strain on your face.

Yeah, crazy.

I should have put in some sound effects.

What's interesting is they went from this film to the next one, which I feel is still the strongest. A lot of people say it's their favorite. Jason Lives, which is very funny. We've got Kane Hodder playing Jason.

And it all gets... They kind of like back on board, or someone else came on board who knew what they were doing. We'll definitely get the Camp Crystal Lake memories done before we review those ones next time as well.

Well, we've already done six. We won't be doing six because we've already done it.

Oh!

But we will be doing... It does mean we will be doing seven, The New Blood.

I knew we'd done one of them.

So next summer, we'll be doing number seven, The New Blood, which is Carrie versus Jason, essentially.

And Jason goes to Manhattan.

Hell yeah, baby! So we're going to be getting some telekinesis and some crazy fan hatchet.

It's almost a shame, though, we're not doing six again, because after doing five and now reviewing all of them, we're getting to know of the films in a bit more depth.

I am still going to watch six, though, at some point soon, or probably next summer as well.

Yeah, straight up.

Just to recap. And I will link, when we get close to that episode next year, I will link to that early, very early on episode we did for my birthday where I chose Jason Six. But there we go. So small thumbs up from us both on that one. Big thumbs up for part four, though. That's Jason for this year. I think we're done. So should we have a little outro?

Yeah, let's do it.

And we're back.

It sounded like a kids show.

To say goodbye.