THE PODCAST ON HAUNTED HILL EPISODE 153 – THE DEAD AND THE DEAD 2 INDIA

The podcast on Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing. The podcast on. Hello, and welcome to the podcast on Haunted Hill, episode 153.

We are AI.

Stop.

We are not real.

My name is Gav, this is Dan. We are your hosts, we are your sailors on the ship of horror movies and things. Your little passengers looking out the window, and we're gonna sail down the ocean of movies.

Yes. Seamen.

Seamen everywhere.

There we go, we've already done it as usual.

How are you?

Very well, my friend. How are you?

Jolly, jolly well, as our English might say. Jolly good there, jolly good, jolly good, old chap.

Yeah, I'm very good, thank you. I'm excited because, as is the case with every three episodes, it's a time for another. Series directed by some very British brothers. So our patron, the crown for this episode.

The queen.

The queen belongs to Jamie, Jamie Jenkins, Jamie J. Sammons. She goes by many names, Queen Jamie, we shall call her. Thank you very much, Jamie, for being a patron. And yes, your reward is this episode. Here it is on a tray for you.

Here you go. Yeah, it's quite funny. I was surprised when you told me these movies because I'd kind of forgot. Well, I didn't know it was a sequel and I'd kind of forgotten about the first movie, but we will go into them nearer the time.

Yes, but to reveal what she has selected for us to discuss, we are selecting the Ford Brothers, directed in cinematography, written, et cetera.

I think possibly fairly unknown and under the radar.

The Ford, what, the movies or the brothers?

The movies.

Yeah, yeah, some people, I mean, Sarah had never heard of. They are well known in like independent and guerrilla filmmaking.

And probably a real zombie genre fans.

And they did well at Fright Fest as well, which is where I believe they were both premiered as well.

I saw the premiere of the first one at Fright Fest.

Let's not tease our listeners any longer. I will reveal what we're watching.

They can know because they can look at their phones.

We're going to be reviewing and looking at The Dead in 2010 and The Dead 2 India.

The Dead 2 India, just throw that in there.

The Dead 2 India from 2013, directed by the Ford brothers.

Sounds like a really bad train you don't want to get on.

The Dead 2 India.

Yeah.

Yeah. Like that ghost train from the last episode.

Yeah, don't get on it because you're not going to get there. It's just going to go off into the ether.

But the interesting thing about these two, and we'll get into it, these two movies isn't so much the films themselves, which are well made for in many ways for the budget.

Jamie's at the bottom going, what the fuck you can talk about then?

But the good, the interesting thing about them is the stories behind them.

Which unfortunately, sorry to cut you off, go back onto the second. Unfortunately, when that is the case, and we still have to look at these movies and quite often audiences, 99% of the time, it's only us 1% film nerds, geeks, lovers, makers, look up stuff like this or watch the BTS on the DVDs, which this was originally on, of these things. Otherwise it gets overshadowed and you look at every film the same, which you should.

No, I was going to say, so I mean, we won't go into all the details now, but basically they had a tough time because they shot on location in West Africa for the first one and on location in India for the second one on a very tight budget, all guerrillas sort of independent filmmaking style and encountered a whole host of problems, disease, corruption, muggings and stuff. Stuff we'll get into.

Yes, we are.

Any thoughts on that before we talk about it?

No, because we're going to get on to it. We're getting into the films at the time, but I'll be putting, having my filmmakers hat on because I have a lot to say about stuff.

And I'll be having my zombie hat on because I'm a zombie.

What have you been up to? What have you been doing? Have you seen anything cool?

Well, very quickly, started potty training this weekend.

Have you never used a toilet before?

Never done it.

So how is your potty training going?

Finally, at Big Boy Nappy's and I'm into Big Boy Pants. Couple of accidents here and there.

Did Alice know when you first said, would you like to go out with me? That she'd be training you to use the toilet?

No, it's taken her 13 years.

I know, some women need to learn this about men, don't they?

Can you imagine that? Imagine that. I mean, it's probably out there.

Look, that could be a metaphor for some men and how useless they are, to be honest with you, and what women have to part with.

Yeah, yeah. But no, I joke. That's the main thing in my life at the moment is that the children have decided they want to go potty training, which is great that they decided it rather than us sort of trying to make them do it. Other than that, all fine and dandy. And I finally had a cinema trip for the first time in months and months and months and months. It's all the same film you did. So we can-

Has anyone ever called you dandy?

I don't think so.

All right, dandy?

Yeah, fine, thanks.

Pandy?

Gavaceous.

Gavatron.

The Gavatron.

I'm going with that.

But no, I got out to the cinema on a rare day off.

I know, and hang on, ladies and gentlemen, everybody join. If you're not, don't do it if you drive in, it's dangerous. But, little golf clap, because Dan obviously is a father with young children, and going to the cinema is quite a luxury, people without children, or who have children who have grown up, or not grown up, but mine, like, you know, I have opportunity to go. Dan doesn't, so a golf clap.

Trying to hold down a full-time job.

Yeah, and just that, yeah. And you're at a stage, you're so young though, if you do get a moment, it'd be nice to hang out with the other half, or actually get some sleep, you know. So that's why it's a little golf clap, but audience members, please don't clap if you're driving a car or operating machinery.

Or flying a helicopter.

That's, yeah, operating machinery.

Because some of our listeners probably do. But yeah, it's the same movie that you saw.

Listeners, if there is any pilots out there, please let us know.

Gav, what did we both see?

Separately, but we did see Ghostbusters, not Afterlife as it's called, Frozen Empire.

Empire Strikes Back. Yeah. Ghostbusters Frozen, let it go.

So, spoiler free.

Yes, we will, because it's still out at theatres.

And your thoughts on a Ghostbusters movie of the franchise, the fifth, I think. One, two, three, four, five, six, if you think 2017.

Yes, fifth. But it's kind of technically the fourth.

In the kind of continuation of the same actors, but there's one spin-off, so to speak, which is 2017.

Shall I go first?

Yeah, you do.

Yeah, I enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun with it. It wasn't for me, it wasn't as good as the last one. It wasn't as good as Afterlife. Afterlife had the emotional punch. And it hit all the nostalgia note strings, which I know some people are like, oh yeah, but it was supposed to. But I don't care. I went with it. I cried at the end. I loved Afterlife. This one wasn't that. I still had a lot of fun with it.

He's only six years younger than my dad. My dad does not look like him.

He's a hench, very hench-looking young-looking man for a 78 year old. But yeah, and the biggest critiques I've seen have been people saying, oh, there's too many characters in it. But for me, that's a problem for the TikTok generation who've got a very short attention span and want things to be A to B in 10 seconds flat.

I can't remember what that means and I've seen it.

All right. Yeah, and I loved the whole Winston's secret business thing that he's got going on as well. Really loved all of that.

I need to watch it again.

Oh dear.

I can't even remember that now. Yeah. The Easter eggs kind of went over my head because that's me. I did feel there's quite a lot going on really. I think they kind of pulled it back a bit and made it a little bit more simpler, I think. But I did enjoy, I kind of, it's a shame that I didn't get to watch it. You know, that you kind of had this big evil thing in The Frozen, it's in the trailer, so I'm not spoiling it. Eyes comes up and that sort of thing.

Yeah.

Something like that, right? It just kind of is here and there and there. It was fine though. I enjoyed it. It was fine as I did laugh a little bit here and there. I would watch it again if it was on Netflix. I don't know if I'll get it for my collection immediately. I might pick it up at some point. It's fine.

Yeah. It didn't have the after, it didn't have the whole actual thing.

I agree with everything you said.

Yeah. But there was definitely some good stuff in it and it's definitely worth a watch. And for me, as soon as you hear that meh, meh, meh on the big screen, you know.

That's the thing. I'm gonna, I enjoyed going to watch it because I went to watch Ghostbusters movie and a thing and it's just the name Ghostbusters. It's such a weird childish name, but it came from my childhood. So for me, it is actually a part of my DNA. Do you know what I mean? With some things they are. Rambo, Ghostbusters, there's a lot of this shit. It's just Arnold Schwarzenegger. So many things which are part of me and how I've grown up as a human.

Yeah, and if you like Ghostbusters, you're gonna like it. And what this one does do more than the first than the last one is, it's in New York for the whole movie rather than in a little town out of New York. So it feels a bit more Ghostbustery in that respect.

You've got the firehouse.

Yeah, I got the firehouse. And it really ties in one and two to this one. In fact, they mentioned the events of two. They're like, oh, remember the Statue of Liberty?

Yeah, some things didn't like, Walter Peck, I don't think she'd been in it. That was really forced. And I don't like the woman in it. The poor Rudd's, the mum, poor Rudd's, I don't like her at all. She says there's nothing about her, which makes me go, can't wait to see her. I literally don't like her. Do you know what I mean?

Normally the kids are annoying, but the kids are good at it.

Paul Rudd's great. She's really badly cast, I think.

And I loved all the gadgets, you know, and the drone traps, which this is all stuff that's in the trailers, you know, the drone trap and the little car traps.

It's fine, but I think we live in the world, obviously now streaming. So like Sarah, she didn't bother going to watch it in the cinema. Sarah fucking loves Ghostbusters. She will go, okay, cool, I'll watch it when it comes on Netflix. And I think some people will, because after life is bringing all that lot back from we've not seen since the 80s.

That was the first one.

Late 80s, early 90s, whatever Ghostbusters 2 was, at late 80s, 89 I think.

Yeah. Yeah, you know, in the second one, I think.

So I think that brought everyone to cinema, because if you want to see that and have that emotional pull, and we all had it, most of us. So, you know, yeah, this time around, and if they do a third one, which they probably will, it'd be the same amount going again. It won't be, and it'd be the same film again. It won't be anything, we won't be reinventing the wheel. And we're just getting that nostalgia, boosting our brains, which makes us go, yeah.

What's nice is it didn't feel like, and the same with Afterlife, it didn't feel like they were setting up another one. It just kind of ended, and that was that.

Yeah, you got to remember, like, I don't know, it could be like, we're starting a new trilogy or new whatever, but it was really only our first Ghostbusters, one and two, excuse me. So it would be ultimately the cinema box office takings if they do another one. But to be fair, Hollywood's in a bit of a fuck state right now anyway, so I don't know.

Brilliant.

Speaking of ghosts.

I was going to say, he's talking to me in a fuck state, but go on.

Well, speaking of ghosts and spooky things, I rewatched Truthseekers on Amazon Prime, which is Nick Frost and Simon Peggs Production Company's show, which was canceled after one season, much to dismay from Nick Frost. Have you seen it?

I watched that right at the beginning of the pandemic.

Check it out again.

Don't remember it, to be honest.

Watch it again. I think, yeah, because we're in that pandemic mode and we're just bingeing so much stuff.

I was drunk a lot.

I'm glad I hadn't been drinking, because I think that would have... I think that would have been the end of my mental state, if for real, if I'd have been drinking. So anyway, check that out again. Listen, if you're not seen it, do check it out. It's a British comedy and I really like the simplicity of it. I'm kind of gutted there's not a second one. Yeah, I kind of like it. I haven't really got much more to say about it.

Oh, you mean like the number towers?

Yeah, the Yorkshire, no, what's it called? Anyway, that's in there for quite a lot for the first episode, but please check it out, listeners, if you haven't.

Truth Seekers.

Yeah, Truth Seekers, it's free on Amazon Prime because it's original for theirs, but obviously it didn't get the viewership at the time, which is weird because it wasn't knocked down, it should have done. But do check it out, that's my recommendation, and you could binge it a night if you wanted, to be honest.

It's only about six episodes, if I remember rightly.

It's not long, and it's got a nice real horror edge, and it's got that real British comedy, so if you want that, it should have been like three seasons, do you know what I mean, series? The English way is actually two, isn't it? I think, is it two or three? Two's like the classic way for English episodes, seasons.

Yeah, the brickage of age.

Forty Towers, The Office, yeah. Anyway.

Two and done.

Yeah.

They like being in the bedroom.

Well, it's not bad though, it's not bad. Or you're talking about children, I'm not sure.

No, I'm talking about two pumps and a squirt.

Oh, that's not that good. I thought we meant twice. Twice in one night.

The pumps go on for a good 45 seconds each.

You're saying it kind of as an individual pump. So one, two, one, two, buckle my shoe is a different metaphor for you. When you say, Alice, let's go upstairs. I want to buckle my shoe. She knows what's up. She knows what time it is, Dandy, doesn't she?

Talking of pumps and a squirt.

I know you're in fucking Dandy, the fucking one's pump squirt.

Listen, I know you're itching to talk about it. So talking of two pumps and a squirt, get it off your chest. You want to talk about the bad boy.

What a segue.

He did he himself. I've been dropping jokes about this for the last four episodes. And then you messaged me frantically about a week ago saying, have you not heard? And I was like, dude, I've been following the story for about three months. You were like, I am really, you went down a big P Diddy rabbit hole, didn't you?

I went really fucking addicted to Sarah's days on the life of this. Cause I all of a sudden messaged to say, I'm going into Colombo. I fucking can't get over Colombo. And I'm just like, you know, I just went on like, I went and messaged to say, do you know about P Diddy? He's like, fucking Epstein. I was about to say Einstein, not Einstein, Epstein.

Is that Frankenstein?

I'm going to stop the recording and tell you. Anyway, we're back Dan. Well, that was a good joke, huh? That was quick thinking, quick thinking.

Just can't say that.

No, just can't say that. Anyway, I was DJing the other night, which I'm going to talk about in a little bit, but I was DJing and I was just queuing up songs. But what happens when I DJ is I, actually I'll talk about it very quickly now. Did two parties recently. First thing I did, a girl's 18th birthday party, which is James Bond themed. Two nights later, I did a lad's 24th in a pub. Yeah, in a pub. It was a bit of a pub and it could be a bit of a rough area, that sort of thing.

So it's true. I don't know what Cindy Dorper said then.

I even played, girls just want to have fun, because I was going for it.

I bet they lost their minds for that.

Oh yeah, I was doing Village People, everything. But what I do is I give people, this is going to segue back to where we're going. What I do is I give people a Spotify playlist, give me this whole playlist and I'll take all your songs and I'll play your songs for you and I'll mash it all up. And that's what I do, I do all shorts. So, sadly not, a lot of the times though, I'm playing songs I've never even heard and I'm mixing them in, not knowing what's going to happen to the song.

Dear me.

A girl, a lady you should say, called Ellie, Ellic, Ellie, Ellis, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know.

It's a pretty catchy little number.

And I was like, oh, she must be sitting at home, waking up every morning, going, well, I hope you don't feel like P Diddy, but she must be waking up every morning going, oh, can we do an edit? No, that song's out there. Start tough. Waking up in the morning, feeling like P Diddy. Now, we don't know, don't assume it's P Diddy. I know you're an avid listener of this. You're sitting there shitting yourself right now, listening to the podcast on Haunted Hill.

He is connected though, apparently he can have people taken out.

Of course. Everyone likes to say, this is what you get from being on the streets. I've never repeated his music, it's all right, it's nothing amazing, a couple of trucks are all right, it's a bit pop-friendly stuff, but he's a businessman and an entrepreneur from the streets.

He was never a gangster though.

No, he must have gained it, because he doesn't come across like that.

He's bought the muscle and the power.

He's just used money, but he must have, he is like a billionaire apparently. Because obviously he's like a businessman, so he's an entrepreneur. So he's, a lot of the rappers, it's the ones which are like 50 Cent, who's trying to take him down, it's bringing out a documentary. A lot of those guys, like 50 Cent, the ones that are straight away like, I'm getting a bottle of water named after me, and I'm getting a clothing brand, I'll start. They're the ones, a jewelry brand.

Well, I mean, allegedly, you know, we're talking R. Kelly levels of abuse of power and abuse of people.

Why can't you be happy with what you have? Why can't you take your money and be creative and help people do stuff? Why can't you be a nice person? Why do you have to be a cunt?

Again, all this is speculative. None of this is-

Diddy may not be a cunt.

But he's had his houses raided. And he has been, it's been rumored that he has been bribing people by making blokes, mainly perform sex acts or him perform sex acts on them and videoing it and then saying, if you ever tell anybody about this, these videos will go out. I've heard a sex tape of his, him with another guy.

Well, there's only, I heard that sort of thing as well, but you can't, it's sound, that's no proof at all.

Yeah, and if you look at some of his lyrics now and go back and look at them, it's almost like, if this is true, he was just like Jimmy Savile, he was hinting at it all, all the way through. But again, this is all still hot on the press. It's not even hot.

We're not saying he is, but.

Yeah, but yeah, he's gone into hiding on one of his islands, Yones, and his houses are being raided and lots of rappers are coming forward. Method Man, Usher said he was propositioned when he was younger.

Justin Bieber looks really sketchy, those videos, when he's just, the way he is so uncomfortable with these people. They look so uncomfortable.

His modus operandi was apparently to see an up and coming young artist have them move into his house for a few months. Why? To work on an album using equitation marks or work on music.

Dr. Dre didn't do this.

No, Dr. Dre did not do this at all.

Dr. Dre would, yeah, take someone on and go, right, I can fucking, we can work brilliant, but he didn't, do you know what I mean?

Most rappers, 80, 90% of rappers are staying out of this or anybody in the music business is not just for hip hop, cause he didn't-

Again, no, but do you know what though? If he is gay, great, be gay. Everybody should, not everybody should be gay, but everybody should do whatever the fuck they want. It's just the fact that it's 80s, 90s hip hop, there's no, you're never getting anywhere if you're a gay rapper. And that's not me being some homophobic person, that's the fucking way that it was.

No, rap music is notoriously homophobic.

It is, in a certain sense. It's a lot more open, obviously, but it is, there's a lot of rap, you know, and listening to some of the 90s hip hop is very hard nowadays, it's a real shame actually.

It really is. I've been trawling back through my old CDs and some of them I'm like, whoa, I don't ever want the kids to hear this.

Oh God, no, I can't, there's a lot of time I can't do it. It's like, you know, there's a couple of songs this guy wanted a lot of hip hop, but it's a lot, some all right hip hop, not very much, but there's a lot of hip hop with an N word in it. And I was like, I can't play it. Do you know what I mean? Straight away it started going, da ba, and I was like, I can't play this.

Yeah.

You know. Anyway, and one other thing very quickly, they think all that heavy police in there, there's conspiracy is that they were going in there to take out all the tapes, the very rich, powerful people saying, go in there, take out those tapes and destroy them. Or bring them to me.

Cause he's linked, he has been linked in some ways to that kind of Epstein sort of thing. And sadly, other rappers are being attached to it now, like Jay-Z.

Harvey Weinstein, Epstein, Weinstein, Epstein. It's P Diddy's secret name, Sankstein by any chance, not Frankenstein or.

I don't know. Stein, Frankenstein.

Frankenstein. Frankenstein, anyway, let's get off that.

Let's get off P Diddy. Let's talk about a movie that isn't horror, but it's a remake. And then I found out it was a sequel while I was watching it. And it's got a couple of sexy guys throwing down in it. So there's a bit of a link there. And I'm talking about the 2024 remake slash sequel of Roadhouse with Jake Gyllenhaal.

You watched it. Yeah, I saw it, yeah.

Yeah, I had a lot of fun with this.

I didn't mind it.

Kahneman Burger was pretty much naked for most of his scenes.

Yes.

I didn't expect that, but there we go.

The best review I heard, a user review of that, is really not an actual critique, an official one. The best review is he looks like he's got hemorrhoids. He does. He walks like he has hemorrhoids.

Yeah, but that's just how he walks. He's got that swagger, hasn't he?

Now, I am not racist in any sense. And listeners, a lot of you are Irish, and a lot of you are my friends. And I'm in no way racist. I've got a lot of male Irish friends, right? I'm just some of my best friends. I'm just going to say this now, because I was watching it and I was like, Conor McGregor would make an incredible leprechaun. Look, just go there, just go there, a big buff leprechaun. Well, not buff, because you make him look small.

You would give him his pot of gold back immediately.

Because the way he walks is like, ha ha ha, like that. And that's not me being racist, isn't it?

The more you say it, the more you sound it. I know. But Roadhouse went straight to Prime. It's not something you'll, it's not a classic like the original Roadhouse, but then if you look at the original Roadhouse, that isn't exactly Shakespeare. It's only because it's 30 odd years old that we look at that fondly.

Yeah, because I was just like, whatever. I just watched it, I was like, I want to watch, it's Friday night. And I was like, fuck it, I'm getting on the bandwagon. I don't really care. Yeah, I love the first movie, it's fine, but I don't own it in my DVD collection. And like, I'm not gonna, oh no, there's a ream, I don't care. It's a kind of fun story. I like Jake Gyllenhaal. I want to see him as a bouncer kicking ass.

He was great in it. He was really, his character was fantastic. So fun and upbeat. For a man that could break everybody's face.

Yeah, yeah.

He was a really lovely guy in it, which sounds weird, but he had a very good physique. Yeah, he looked great.

Yeah, quite a great actor though. He's a terrible actor.

Yeah, but then again, I look at people like the Barley from Commando. Hang on. I was thinking that, and I was thinking the guy from Commando, I can't remember his name now. See at the party.

See at the party, Richter.

Richter. No, that's totally really cool. Who am I thinking of? Bennett?

Bennett. Yeah, let off some steam, Bennett.

Yeah, loads of people from the 80s. It was a real call back to like 80s action films and none of the parties. It was pretty damn violent.

When he, no spoilers, stabs someone up at the end, that was a bit too much. I was a bit like, ooh, didn't know the CGI blood was a bit whack.

I didn't see any CGI blood.

Oh, fucking, for the first hit, the first hit we went on, I was like, CGI blood, but I would notice that. Just gonna say, let's not have him as a leprechaun, but let's have him as the leprechaun's enemy. Imagine Warwick Davis versus Conor McGregor.

I think Warwick would have his ass handed to him, wouldn't he?

I think he'd peel Warwick open.

Oh, good Lord. Well, let's move on. There's another movie I watched. Another movie I watched. From 1984. 1984, Gav.

Yep.

Never seen it. I've always wanted to see it.

I love the fact you had to keep saying to me, stop saying I'm not racist. It makes you sound racist.

People that start that sentence with that are usually about to say something incredibly offensive.

If someone means everything to you.

Oh, listen, I'm not being racist, right?

Yeah, don't just straight away go, no, shut down. Shut them down and say no and walk off or get them to walk off.

But I watched Rat's Night Of Terror from 1984. Which is, you know, it was banned.

Italian, right?

It's directed by Bruna Matai. And it wasn't that good, but what was really good was the final scene. And it's a very old film, so I'm going to spoil it. But basically it's set like a hundred years in the future. We've nuked ourselves to, there's only about like a thousand people left on the planet.

There's a few of those films.

And it's a bunch of bikers driving around in leather and they find like an old lab that's infested with rats, but it's got food and medicine in it and that's great. But the rats are carrying diseases and the rats are attacking them and killing them. One rat climbs in a woman's vagina and pops out of her mouth. That's pretty good.

They've done a Planet Of The Apes.

They've done a Planet Of The Apes, but it's Rats, Planet Of The Rats.

Planet Of The Rats.

So it was trashy, it was shit Italian 80s nonsense, but I fucking had a good time with it, so.

Tell you what I had a good time with. On Netflix, Elijah and I watched Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio.

Yes, I wanna see this. I've heard it's very creepy.

It's not very creepy. It just has dark elements, because of the directors. I really enjoyed it. We watched it actually. We watched it in two scenes, Elijah's, you know, a generation of YouTube, so it's sometimes hard for him to do the movies. No, really enjoyed it, actually. It's Pinocchio, not very much more to say. I recommend it.

The thing is, Pinocchio is a very dark film. It's one of the ones, when you put it on Disney+, it says, this contains elements of abuse, smoking and drinking, underage smoking, underage drinking. When you watch it, you're like, yeah, he gets kidnapped, taken to an island, like an Epstein Island, where they take all these boys, make them smoke and drink until they turn into donkeys, and then they go and work hard labor somewhere.

Yeah, it's a 12. It's on Netflix, UK, I don't know, everywhere else, other regions, but if you got young lasses and lads, maybe not fucking under six, maybe, I guess, I don't know. Yeah, watch it out.

Well, let me talk about another sexy naked man, if I may.

I was just talking about a children's movie. I don't know where you should, this is-

Oh, because I was talking about-

Yeah, I know, I know, but your segue needs to have more clarification and context.

All right, let me leapfrog over Pinocchio's nose. So, I watched the newer Robert Eggers film, finally, which came out over a year ago now.

He's made a new one since then.

Has he?

Yeah, fucking-

No, Nosferatu's coming out soon, but has he made another since Northbrook?

No, he's made that, Nosferatu.

Oh yeah, but it's not out.

Yeah, but he's still made another movie since he fucking never watched it. I went to the cinema to see this, because not really, I'll let you talk a minute, sorry. Not really a massive Viking fan, to be honest with you. It's not really something called go for, but because it was him and I saw a trailer and I was like, yeah, I fucking love it. What do you think?

Absolutely fucking phenomenal. One of the best things I've seen in months and months.

Good cinema trip.

Yeah, I can imagine. I saw it, it's now available on Prime. If you've got Prime, it's just free to stream. And yeah, it starts, Alexander Skarsgård, who I'm a big fan of anyway. I liked him in True Blood and his easy and HD watch. Also got Nicole Kidman, Ethan Hawke and a few other good people in it. And yeah, it's just like a classic Viking tale, but it's also a bit of a John Wick story of a guy that's like, he's gonna take them all out one way or another.

It's like for me, going to cinema, I watch it, really, really, really enjoyed it. It's like watching a classic movie because it's like a classic story. It's epic, it's revenge, it's family driven, it's drama, it's violent, it's-

It was like watching Gladiator for me, which I absolutely love. I've never seen Gladiator. Gladiator is one of those ones that I think, it is a classic, but I think in three years time, it will be even more of a classic.

Again, not a fan of the genre, that's why I've not seen it. But it's because this was Eggers though.

I think if you watch Gladiator, because that's Ridley Scott, I think if you watch that, you can't but not love it because of the acting and the epic storytelling. But yeah, Alice was enthralled all the way through, the Northman, she absolutely loved it as well. Although I think she probably liked The Naked Men quite a lot. Whatever, whatever, the story she wrote. The score was fantastic, the cinematography, the story, just all good. And weird supernatural elements in it as well.

He's one of my favorite directors. Like I've got proudly centered on my chest, a tattoo from his first film. He didn't have a tattoo in it, but a picture from his first film. I really like his films.

So far, it's a three for three for me. All three of his movies that I've seen, that are out, are fucking phenomenal. The Lighthouse, The Northman and The Witch. And I really, really, really cannot wait to see what he does with Nosferatu.

I listen to The Lighthouse score quite often when I'm working.

What I didn't like, Gav, and I'll quickly talk about this one, was the Firestarter remake.

Prodigy.

Not by the Prodigy, the movie.

I didn't really.

I know you don't like the first one.

Did we cover it right?

No, no, you said you didn't want to. We made one day. I'm a massive fan of it because I love the book.

I think I was bored of it.

I love the old pyrotechnics that they used and Drew Barrymore and all that kind of stuff. So I was like, I'm not going to bother watching the remake. But then I heard John Carpenter's done the score for it, an original score by John Carpenter. And I thought, well, that's interesting because he was going to direct Firestarter, the original one.

This doesn't bode well, but John Carpenter liked Money.

He's got a link to it because he was going to direct the first one. And then at the end, they dropped him. I can't remember where they dropped him. And then he went and made Christine.

That's not much of a link though.

No, but in a way it's because he really wanted to do that. Cause he really wanted that. He would have made that film.

Yeah, but they came to him. I doubt he went to him and said, I really want to score your film.

Oh no, no, no, not at all. Of course. That's what I'm saying. I'm just saying there's a link there.

Yeah, I don't think it's like a passion project.

But the score is phenomenal. And that's definitely the best thing about it. Zac Efron was all right in it.

I watched a cracking movie called Ricky Stinecky on Amazon Prime. Fucking hilarious. It's so fucking funny, man. Watch that movie. It's like the old school kind of 2000s raunchy sort of comedy American pod type thing. But these guys, do you know anything about it?

I've heard of it, yeah.

Very, very good. Check it out. But Zach Efron's in it. His chin's gone weird. He says it's because he had a really bad accident and the muscles in his chin had passed a couple of years have just gone really big and accelerated. It's like, what?

Have you seen him in that wrestling movie?

No.

He's just like He-Man now, isn't he?

It just, cause I was like, I've only got someone that looks like Zach Efron and no one watched it. And I'm like, hang on, IMDB, and I was like, oh my God, it is Zach Efron. That's weird. Anyway, very, very good movie, Ricky's Done Nicky. Very funny. Do check it out.

Just to round up faster. Sorry, continue. All I'll say is my problem with it is it was like Stranger Things, that kind of thing. And if I want to watch Stranger Things, I watch Stranger Things. The original was so good because firstly, it was really good Stephen King adaptation. And back then in the early eighties, it was all real fire, you know, you had these guys on fire on, flying around the place and stuff. And the girl was, Drew Barrymore was really compelling in it.

Was it like CGI fire?

Yeah, fucking CGI fire. And I'm just like, I can see that this is CGI fire.

I don't know why I'm asking that because I know the answer.

Well, they're not going to set Zach F on fire, you know.

Yeah, they're just not going to do pyrotechnics and it's just a shame.

Like I said, the score was brilliant. And at times there were scenes, this is how bad it was. There were times where scenes would be happening and I'd just shut my eyes and listen to the score. And I'd be thinking, yeah, I can really feel the carpenter in this little, little synthy bit here. This is really good. And I just, it's such a shame that he's decided, I don't know, obviously money, but he made the score for this. And it's like, see, you still got it in you, dude.

Yeah, but that's, like I've said, making music to direction a film is fucking different. It's such a fucking bigger task. But does that mean, though, he's actually sat there with the... It's over, he's composed to it, or he's given them some songs and they've said...

No, it's an original score by John Carpenter.

So he sat there watching it and composing to it, but it must be them like, we're throwing all this money at you.

And they probably thought, well, look, we've got Zac Efron in this.

Jackie is laughing while he's doing it though.

Because the original isn't really a very well known film. Like if you're a horror fan, you'll know it, but it's not like it didn't do amazing. So the studios obviously thinking, okay, look, we've got this Stephen King book that was already made. We've got Zac Efron in there. If we get John Carpenter to score it, maybe we can.

Do you know what happened? When they went, what's trending at the moment today? Zac Efron, John Carpenter's got a new album, okay. And Stephen King. Right, what can we do? Do you know what I mean? That's how they look at shit. And this is why I'm going back to Hollywood and it's just failing.

But there we go. Not worth, not recommended. The only other one I wanted to talk about, I've only got one more. Do you have any more before I?

I do one more.

Please do.

I can't. Very quickly, because we don't want to bore all of you guys. If you're first time listeners.

Well, Jamie's itching to hear our thoughts on the-

I know. If you're first time listeners, you've probably turned off by now because you're like fucking get on with it, you fuckers. I paid for the eldest to go to the cinema and I didn't even go to watch the first Omen with their buddy. And they said that it was really good. And it should have been an 18 and it was a 15.

I'm starting to hear that it's actually quite good.

They said it was really good. I kind of trust them. They kind of know stuff. I've watched a lot of horror movies of Charlie, formerly known as Jay, formerly known as Jasmine.

Formerly known as Prince. Yeah. No, no, that's somebody else.

The other movie I'm going to do is going back away from Hollywood and going into independent cinema. And I was quite happy to watch it and go to cinema. If it's still in the cinema at the moment with our Agent R podcast, please go support this movie and watch it because it's really, really good fun. If you're a found foot fan, you'll fucking love it. If you're a ghost watch fan, you'll fucking love it. And that's Late Night With The Devil.

If you're a fan of possession movies.

It's filmed in the box rating ratio, sort of, you know, it's filmed like it's an actual TV. It has context at the beginning saying, 1972, there was Johnny Carson. It just talks about what he's American late night presenters and this guy who wasn't like number one, he's always trying to get there.

He's always like number three.

Whatever, he's trying to do it and he's at the end of his wife passes and stuff. There's no spoilers really. And it gets to a point where he tries to do something. It's Halloween night and he wants to get the ratings up and it brings on a real live exorcism to have on the show. Behind this, you get off air video, which is in black and white, which is behind the set, just following the story.

Yeah, I'm hearing lots of good things about it.

Great name, it's a great front cover. It's great, well acted. The host is super good.

It's a great name because it's a late night talk show and then they've called it Late Night With The Devil. It's almost like you're interviewing the devil.

It's fantastic. But it would make, I presume that we will probably cover it with Ghostwatch for an episode. I'm putting that down and we do a foul footage episode.

As soon as you message me, because they're similar, they're foul footage, but they're TV show foul footage.

They are, I think we could do it and then talk about foul footage again, because I still want to do a new foul footage thing. But we could definitely, I'd say them two's double bill is perfect.

Yeah, yeah, we'll do that. That's for sure.

You will find it fantastic, I guarantee you.

Yeah, I'm sure it will.

And listeners, I think pretty much 85% of you are going to think that's fucking well good. And then there'd be some that don't, obviously. And that's fine too.

Well, the last movie I checked out was the last, the only Dario Argento movie I've never seen.

What one was it?

Opera. Oh yeah.

Wow. Yeah, I've not seen it for many years. Is that the, where the camera's going round and round in a circle?

Yeah, and the ravens flying around. And yeah, the-

I never really liked it back in the day. I always liked my Tenor Braids and the other stuff, you know.

Yeah, I don't know why I never checked it out. I thought, I don't know why. But anyway, I watched it, 1987's opera, and really violent at times. And what's interesting, what's- He hates women, Argento.

I love being Argento.

He, what he does is, is this main lady in it, he tortures her, well, not Argento, but the killer, basically sellotapes needles under her eyes, and then kills her friends and family in front of her each time. And she cannot close her eyes because she'll stab herself in the eye because she's got these needles. And then when he's finished murdering whoever it is, he then cuts her free, she can take the sellotape off her eyes and then she's got like a dead body.

Yeah, I've not seen it. What's that like?

I don't really remember much about it, so that goes to show.

Did you ever see G.

Allo? With Adrian Brody?

Yeah.

Yes, I did. Yeah, I didn't think it was very good. I watched it with you. I watched it with you.

When I met him, it was a random, it's so funny, it was at a Friday fest, it's like a Saturday afternoon thing, where like screening, like not a full on thing, it's just a random sort of day in the year, November or something, I don't know, screening like five films in a day. So not like a long day. But Daryl Jenner was there with his, it's from the Mother of Tears trilogy. What was the third one he did of that? His third one came out probably like 10, 15 years ago.

Isn't it called the Mother of Tears?

It might be Mother of Tears, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Mother trilogy, or whatever it is. Yeah, Mother Superior trilogy, I think it is, I was saying. Anyway, watch that, it wasn't very good actually, but yeah, you're just outside. I was outside of Floyd Fest there and it's raining. And just this kind of oldish fella kind of just wanders along with a little coat on and stuff like that. And it's like, oh, it's Dario Shennow.

Amazing.

By himself, just wandering along from the train station to the subway. And I was like to Jon, it's Dario Shennow. That's so cool.

One of my top three horror directors of all time.

And gave him the CD of my music. He never emailed me, or went to junk. Dario at hotmail.com.

I've said this before, but my top three horror movie directors of all time, in order, based on the output, their style, their output, Me. Their, you know, their style that you can spot, even if you just see a scene from their films. And no, stop it, is number one, obviously is John Carpenter. Number two is Dario Argento. And number three, Sam Raimi.

Very good.

I love his style and it's been copied. And although he hasn't made a huge amount of great horror movies, other than Four or Five, I'd need a day to figure this out and come back to you. Hey, it's taken me 20 odd years to work.

Yeah, I did sit there and go, right. I like Tantino for this reason. I like Rodriguez for this reason.

Yeah, absolutely loved opera. That's it for me. That's it for you. Now, let's get into-

Come on, come on. If I reckon Jamie's wet in her pants in excitement with what is gonna come out of our mouths.

Well, let's just fill anybody in that doesn't know what a patrons pick is. Every three episodes, one of our patrons gets to pick the two films that we're going to review. Sometimes they're linked. Usually they're just based on something that this person loves or films from their childhood that they want us to discuss. So Jamie has selected, as we mentioned earlier, The Dead and The Dead 2. And what the patron will usually do is send an email or some kind of message, which she has done.

Should we have a break or do you wanna do that now?

I thought we could do that and then jump straight into the trailer, if that's all right. It's up to you.

Okay, does Jamie sort of say a little context for each film while she's picked them?

Not really, no. So it's more just the email and then, yeah, she does, but she doesn't sort of break down the movies individually.

I just wanted you to break up what she says. So you do a little bit now, then do a bit of each of her movie for each one. But no, do it as you wish. If you wanna go for it now, let's go for it now.

Yeah, I think so, because I think-

And then we go straight into the movie like normal.

You'll see what I mean when I read this out, she kind of sets it up for us to just then have an open discussion about both films. So, she says, hello boys.

Ooh, does she say it in that sexy, does she write it in that sexy voice?

I assume so, I can only assume so. She says, before I begin, I wanted to mention how much I cracked up during the Christine review when Dan said that Arnie was sat at the table with his parents after buying the car. And Gav just said, his mum's a cunt.

She is.

And she says, you're not wrong, lol. She agrees with you there. Thank you, thank you. Okay, she says, okay, onto my film choices. I'll just talk about them both since they are a pair. Firstly, I hope you don't get mad that I did a movie and its sequel, but I do have a reason. Never mad, never mad. She says, the main reason I chose The Dead is because I thought you guys would get a kick out of the filmmaking history surrounding it if you don't already know.

I didn't know it was a book.

Yeah, there's a book called Surviving The Dead. The book's called that. The story is just nuts, but the product is so stunning. So I feel it was worth it. But of course I didn't have malaria, lol. The cinematography of this film is breathtaking. It ties with Africa as the backdrop. And on top of that, there are some true moments of dread that get me every time I watch it. The second one takes place in India and it's pretty much the same idea, different location.

Thank you, Jamie, love you to bits. You're still the reason why I podcast. Ah, I get leg cramp.

She is, she is the reason.

Oh, fucking hell. Sorry, I get leg cramp.

He's the reason you got leg cramp, Jamie.

It was very, it's very weird. Not weird, very different choice from you. I did think werewolves, but I'm completely happy with it. And yeah, the, the gorilla filmmaking style is right on my street as you fully will know. Um, so yes.

And that's the beauty of the patron picks just before we go into the trailer for The Dead, is that you can pick, um, two movies that you've not even heard discussed, perhaps like for Jamie's last pick around a year or so ago, she chose two high exploitation movies, uh, Straight Jacket and Whatever Happened To Baby Jane. Movies that you don't really hear people talk about.

Yeah, that was really fun to review.

And it was a great, great to get into that little sub genre of horror and talk about all of that. So again, she's picked this for us.

I'm, I'm going to excite you now, Jamie, but it might take a few years. But I was chatting to Ben who's pursuing photographer, Deadbolt, and we plan on doing a, a werewolf film footage movie, but doing it properly. And Ben wants to make a very good werewolf costume, and he will probably make a fucking incredible werewolf costume. So we are going to make a werewolf movie in a few years time, but be well to go. And I promise you, I'll tell you what, you'll be the first to watch it like you were.

Ah.

Privileges, you get privileges with being a patron.

I'm being a friend, and a very long time friend as well, Jamie. So thank you. Thank you for your email. Well, I guess it's time to get into The Dead. So we'll go into a trailer. When we come back, we'll discuss a little bit about the directors, the brothers themselves, and we'll go into like the hardships that went down behind the scenes and the movie itself. So yeah, we'll start with The Dead. Here's a trailer, Gav. Can you take it away, DJ?

There's a new war, and we have to fight it together. The Dead from 2010. No, I'm not gonna do a trailer voice. 18 hour and 45 minutes. An American mercenary, the sole survivor of a plane crash has to run the gauntlet like old fucking Clint. He ran the gauntlet across Africa. He didn't do it across Africa though. Battling with the living dead. He also didn't do that either.

I would like to have seen that.

Man, once this AI is coming, there will be a sub-genre on Netflix, and it'll be like fan films because it'd be the best I'd draw on YouTube. And it'll be people just going, right, I want to see Clint Eastwood fighting zombies. And that movie will be there. And to be honest, because I want to see that, I'm happy for AI to do that. I know it's not real, but I'm happy to watch that film. That's it. Okay, very quickly. Chuck Still, Night Of The Trampires. Have you seen that film?

I have not.

Listeners, fuck me. I know it's Chuck Still and I'm Chuckie Still, go for Chuck Still, yeah, whatever. It's a movie called Chuck Still and it's claymation and it's like the best 80s, have a look at it quickly, Dan. It's like the best 80s film that you want to have, actually, as a film, but when you watch it, this is just an 80s movie. It's so good. You have to watch it. That's my recommendation.

2018, wow, it looks good.

It's fucking incredible. It's a full on movie, like a 1980s movie that you feel like you've seen the film. It's made by complete lovers of 80s. I watched it for Elijah and there's swearing, there's sex references, and then he watched the whole thing. And then a couple of nights later, he's like, can we watch Chuck Stilgen? We haven't, but we can do that again, because that's fucking banging. Anyway, The Dead.

The Dead. Well, you've given us a synopsis there. Let's talk very briefly about the brothers, the minds behind it, Howard and John Ford.

Randomly, I was working in their little village where they're from today. Just randomly, I saw them there at IMDB.

British filmmakers who did some commercials and some bits and bobs. Not a lot. And then all of a sudden, they were like, let's make a horror film. Let's make a zombie film. Based on having, one of them had, not a nightmare, but a sort of a fear of being trapped in a tree with a zombie underneath him. What would he do in that situation?

There's definitely something with making films where, because I do have it myself, because I've not really traveled much. I don't really like traveling. I like staying to myself, keeping to myself, staying in my town. It's more of a little village. Oh, excuse me. And I kind of, that's, I don't do that. When I make films, I know the films travel and I know they go where. And we're making films. You're kind of just doing this really random thing.

Okay, Gavatron.

Nice, I like it. And these guys, from watching the behind the scenes, they're just adventurers. They're just like, they at one point say, oh, it's like being on a ship and we're like the captains. Which is directing in a lot of sense, but they're doing it as in like, not just what I would be, they're directing it, they're doing it as in like, we don't know what the fuck we're doing. We're just going full steam ahead. We're jumping over the wall because we can't break through it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and that comes out in their movies.

They're well-spoken British guys. You've obviously managed to get a bit of money to make these movies. Not a lot, because they were like, well, if we go to Africa and film this, it's gonna be really cheap and easy.

Fucking, these guys got fucking balls on them.

Considering all the stuff that which we'll now we'll talk about that they went through.

It's hard enough making a, if you want to make a movie in your own house, it can be hard enough because it's so tiring. This is times adrenaline times fucking 500 to the max. This is just fucking out there guerrilla filmmaking. This is extreme shit. They could make a TV series off these guys if they'd followed, do you not mean if they'd done it now?

That's why they wrote a book because the trauma of making the first one, to get over that, he had to put it down on paper. So they wrote the book.

He said it's so trauma coming to try and do the second one. It was very hard to do the second one, but they felt like enough time had passed and he could actually do it because here the first one almost gave up filmmaking.

Yeah.

Which I get because that shit is, that's not executives and dickheads like that shutting you down for the stupidest reasons because you said something on fucking Twitter and they think you're incompetent to the movie world now, or whatever. That's not them and all the bullshit or you're not getting paid and no one's paying you even though your movie sold millions of copies. That's not that bullshit. This is the bullshit of real fucking proper guerrilla filmmaking. Life or death.

Well, let's talk about that now then. So let's talk about just a bit of background on it. So they wrote the script and it was going to be set across West Africa. They chose locations that were easy to get to, cheap. They were going to hire locals to be background actors and zombies.

See, we're producer cap Australia Way as well with this. On paper, we're going to make a movie for this amount. That's not too much money. We could do that. You've got your savings. We've got some credit cards. Arnie Vera is going to lend us 10 grand, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. We accumulate all this money. That's great. We can make a movie. That's the sort of thing we're doing, us guys, in deadbolt films. But they're doing it.

Thank you Auntie Vera, by the way.

Thanks, Aunt Vera. We're going to make a film, but we're going to just take it to, take this story and just up the production levels completely and make it more accessible worldwide. It's an English crew, brothers, directors, filmmakers, in Africa. There's a lot of, there's obviously a mixture of races, et cetera, and cultures, almost a little bit, with the main person kind of being a fish out of water in both of the films.

Well, well, well, well, so let's talk about the things that happen then. Let's talk about it.

It's crazy is what I'm saying, guys.

I'll try and list off the things that happened behind the scenes. So when they arrived in Africa, the first thing that happened, because they set to do a six week shoot and it took them 12 weeks. The reason for that is for the first three weeks, all of their equipment was confiscated by the government, the whichever part of Africa they were in. So they couldn't get any of their equipment back. They ended up having to pay bribes to get their equipment.

Yeah, they had a roll of film. It's also shooting on, well, they shoot on film. They couldn't be shooting on film.

But they said Real 13. Maybe it was.

You wouldn't think you'd do film because that seems to be a lot of, you know.

Maybe it was digital.

By the way, if I said to John Wiggard, do this, the producer of Deadbolt, he would shit a brick. He would fucking have kittens just because of the health and safety all the way along. But yeah, Real 13, they're sending a load of footage back and Real 13, for whatever reason, just wouldn't work. But all the other footage would. So they had to reshoot it again and they got it because apparently the first takes were very creative.

And there was a few scenes they were filming over a day or so where they were firing AK-47s, obviously with blanks in them. And then they were instantly surrounded after about 12 hours of shooting, they were instantly surrounded by armed African military police and they were all pointing their guns at them and questioning them and pushing them around. And then they realized where they were shooting was five minutes away from the president's house. So they'd been spotted firing all these guns.

It's a shame a local didn't say. Do you hear about the bits of the locals at one point said, it's, oh, by the way, it's been 24 hours and none of us have eaten.

Yes.

I've got to say that I wouldn't have allowed that to happen.

Well, they ran out of water to the point that people were drinking those blue freezer blocks because no one had any water. That's just, they all lost so much weight.

You definitely get.

One of the brothers couldn't hold up the steady camp because he becomes so weak from weight loss over the 12 weeks they were there. Conversely though, to all of that, all of the locals absolutely loved them, took them in, helped feed them. They caught some chickens at one point because they had no food. And the locals, they were paying the locals very little money to be the background of zombies and extras. But that was more money than these guys had seen in years.

It is still quite funny. They had to cut around a lot of the zombies, some of the zombies were laughing and stuff. But you do get tunnel vision making films, definitely. You're literally like, that is it. Even building up to making it, all you do is you sleep, eat, shit, have sex with it. It's all you do is you think about that. But none of it else matters. It is just that all the way through. And when you finish, you still go in the editing process. It is that.

They also had weird accidents happen. They felt it was cursed, like the car crashed into a cow and then the cow's gut sort of fell all over. And then one of the villages they arrived at, shoot, they had arrived so late with an actor that they'd flown in from Ghana. They only had an hour and a half to shoot with him before it went dark.

But they turned up and they said, to celebrate you being here, we've got a slot this way. Oh, okay, great. Then they said, yeah, you've got to pay for it.

Oh, the other thing that was interesting, and again, in some ways charitable because they've given these people money to be in this movie, you know, and it's probably in pittance, they paid them a lot more money for these guys, but they also hired a lot of amputees because in the area, there's a lot of amputees. They're near Sierra Leone, but the diamond mines and stuff. So they hired a lot of amputees to be zombies, which looked great because that's fucking awesome.

It's old school filmmaking, isn't it? It's creative filmmaking is what it is.

So, and there's more stuff to come when we talk about The Dead 2, but that is the gist of really what happened.

And you've got to think it's like, let's put down the basics. Couple of brothers want to make a movie from England. They've taken a crew of them of at least what? Five, five people? With them, I think so. And they've gone out Africa, a bunch of money and the cameras can be sent out to them. And then they're just getting their get their cameras and which didn't turn up for weeks after in one of the films like three weeks after they were already there.

Even the car, there people were trying to take their car because there weren't many cars around.

It's essentially them guys having an idea again, we could do this, a five person crew, and let's go, we could do it for 26 days. They thought we could, it obviously went over because of problems. And they ran out of money and stuff. But that's just, that is just some crazy shit. That is found footage style filmmaking as well, very much. So just going, let's go there, and we think because when they got into problems, and we can say this now because it applies for both films.

What this does, what this did do, though, for me. The film looks great because it's in Africa. So it's beautiful scenery, authentic villages and deserts. But I really feel like the two main actors in it, Rob Freeman that played Lieutenant Murphy and Prince David Orsel who played Sergeant Daniel, they were both fantastic in it, I think. And that's because there was a real threat looming on them at all times. You know, there was that scene where Lieutenant Brian is climbing a rock face.

Where we talk about part two, there's a certain point, there's a certain thing happened with a car of a couple of people in it. While that's happening, we know what else was happening behind the camera. We have a gang there going, give us your fucking money or we're gonna stone you to death. So, both of these films.

We'll get to that story when we get to the second one.

So listeners, I think you've come to the right podcast if you want to hear about these films, because we've been doing the behind the scenes as much as possible with these ones.

Yeah, and like I say, it's not often I say that, you should watch a film in its own merit, as you said earlier, Gav, but I think with these ones, it's good to know what's gone on behind the scenes.

But at the same time, it's one of those things, like you have to just watch it as a film and merit on its own. IMDB doesn't have like that, oh, this is the IMDB, we go easier because the film has problems.

Yeah, your average show is gonna watch a film and just rate it as the film.

So it's one of those things, but at the same time, they're both not bad movies. So to be honest, hands down, well, we're the fuck done. Funny enough though, the second one is better. I thought that. And then after watching all behind the scenes of both of them, I'd already seen the behind the scenes of first because they talked about it at Fright Fest. They were on stage talking about it. So I watched it and then talk about it. And then I got a DVD and it was on the behind the scenes then.

No idea.

Neither do I. Anyway. Oh yeah, second one's better. And oh yes, because now I know what's going on with behind the scenes, they themselves almost say, yeah, we learned from the first one. It was fucking crazy. It's like we didn't know what we were doing, but this one we did know. They had it in a name, metaphorically said it in a better way. Yeah, but I think the second one's better film.

Well, let's get into it. So we start off in the desert, as you would imagine them. They make the most of these incredible landscapes behind them.

One other thing very quickly, The Dead, great name. You'd think that was like very popular. It's about number 20 in my IMDB list. It takes ages for me to find it because it's not obviously in the algorithm a popular looked at film.

And there's a very famous John Huston film called The Dead.

Really? But it's such a good name. And you'd think it would be more well known or something.

It's very simple. It does the job.

And you think it would be like, Oh my God, is there a movie called The Dead? You've got to watch it. It's The Walking Dead. But anyway, it's a weird one because I thought it'd been higher up on this, but no, you had to look for it.

So there's a lone man walking along. He's very hot. He's very tired. He's wearing like an African robe and headpiece. It's a white man, though.

It's a lovely contrast. You've got this, like you say, white person all in black, then behind them all yellow. It's a great contrasting of colors.

And we've got, it's a very Lawrence of Arabia sort of look to it. And he sees a zombie, African fella with a bone sticking out of his leg. And what I love about the way these zombies look, because everybody in this is black, you know, all the zombies are black guys. They're all locals. The white eyes that they've given them really contrasts against their skin tone. And it's just get this really unusual look. Do you know what I mean? There's something.

Just to let listeners know that we're going with classic, old school Romero zombie style.

Yes, yes. These are shuffling, you know, arms missing, white eyes.

I love this first one when it comes across it. You know, what's he going to do? And I love it. It's what makes sense. It's what walking dead do. And I'm going to tell you something else about this in a minute, another movie, which this it should be. I love the fact that he just walks past the zombie. I mean, that's a really good thing.

Sakes his bullets, walks around it.

But this is right Hollywood again, failing, Resident Evil movies, failing. Get these two brothers to make a Resident Evil movie.

Oh, yes. Yes. That's a good joke.

These movies are like a game. The way it's shot, because it's off the hip running gun, we're gonna make up as we go. You're gonna go around this corner. Go up there, run down there. We make up as we go. And then edited. That's the power of editing. If you've got the shots, you can make it work, even if you ain't got the shots, you can't make it work. But yeah, this is this is Resident Evil 2T. If they did Hollywood just went, let's give these guys not a huge amount of money.

Yeah, both of these movies actually are both a survival horror game.

If I was a producer for the for the who owns Resident Evil in that studio, I would that's what I'd say. But mate, get these guys and you what you watch, it'd be a fucking fucking everyone would think it was amazing.

For sure. Well, like you say, it's interesting to see that he doesn't shoot this zombie. He walks around it. He's obviously he's low on ammo and but he does end up shooting another one in the head that he sees. He loots the body for ammunition, finds some money, throws it aside. No need for money. Apparently, apparently that money that he threw aside was actually the crew's last amount of budget for food. They had to use it in the shot as well.

Yeah, because we might just put the money we guys. Yeah, I don't think they have prop money. Do you know what I mean?

And then we got a flashback as to how this was started. Really well done considering it's all on a plane. You know, it's supposed to be a plane crash.

You don't need to have prop money because the prop will always be there.

That's true. So yeah, flashback on a plane, injured people, baby crying. This plane's going down.

Apparently it's the last evacuation plane. A little bit of a subtext on the old screen.

They're trying to get all of the foreigners, aka the white people, out of Africa, all the military and their family, because there is this epidemic, this pandemic of zombie mania going on. But the plane itself is going down.

Is that like WrestleMania?

It's like WrestleMania, but it's zombie mania. Rob Zombie is the MC. He gets all the zombies to fight each other.

Alice Cooper and stuff like that. Musicians find each other.

Is it like Woodstock? Zombie mania?

I don't know, I guess. You get like the Misfits as one wrestling team.

Great.

Versus like Marilyn Manson and fucking Alice Cooper. And Ozzy Osbourne.

Fucking hell. R Kelly and P Diddy are a tag team.

It's like old MTV. It was an amazing show, MTV Celebrity Deathmatch.

Yeah, that was good.

That was so good.

It was good. Yeah, so essentially the plane ends up going down. One of the guys kills himself before he turns. We're going to come back to this flashback on and off to flesh out what exactly happened.

And the plane has had an assortment of different types of people. Different sexes, different ages, different classification. Obviously some soldiers, some civilian. So yeah, it's a real hectic. They all are obviously in distress in their different ways. It's a pretty decent shoot. They shot this in England. It's a pretty decent little plane. It's one of those things with a plane scene, especially in a movie with no budget, it could go very bad. It could look awful.

It could look like someone's living room.

It could look really shit. And this looks pretty decent. There's nothing wrong with it at all.

Doesn't take you out of the movie at all. We then cut back to a village. Now one thing I want to mention as well is because they didn't have the budget or they didn't have much lighting. In fact, they only had one generator that was so noisy they had to keep it far, far away from set because it was draining out some of the audio. But because of that, all the lighting, most of the lighting in this is quite natural and always looks great.

It's just using what you got.

Yeah, and it's the beauty of not having anything. So it just ends up looking great.

And you got to remember this, I don't know where they're sleeping and stuff, I guess hotels here and there. But you got to remember, it's literally like, all we do is make films. And when we get up in the morning, it's not like we're going sightseeing, we're just making films continually. So yeah, it's daytime, nighttime, and then working with what you've got, like you said, nighttime, what we do. We got a fire. Okay, let's keep filming. Just keep shooting. Shoot, shoot, shoot.

They will work until four or five in the morning as well, most nights, getting a few hours sleep and then getting up the next day and doing again.

Probably better doing that, could have cooled down.

That's very true. What are your thoughts on the gore?

For a zombie film, if this was set in England, for example, and it's the same thing with Shufflers and that stuff, using the exact same methods of effects, it all looks decent because it has contact lenses and simple mouth effects or simple bites of rip of flesh. It looks great.

They haven't gone to a right top, have they?

Less is more.

We always say less is more. So it looks good. Yeah, so playing wreckage washes up on the beach and we meet our hero from the plane, Lieutenant Brian Murphy, played by Rob Freeman. Well done, sir, for getting through your malaria while you took two weeks off of shooting. Jesus, what a hell of a shoot for him this was. He's washed up on the beach. Body parts have been washed up on the beach. He finds a crate that's locked and sees some other soldiers.

We did see also a cut in the scene of a village on fire. There's loads of crazy stuff going on there, cut back.

Yeah, that's what I mentioned. So all the stuff lit by torchlight and flames and stuff. It looks very good. But yeah, so he grabs a, he breaks open the crate. He takes a new uniform out of it.

This is where straightaway I was watching it. I was just like Resident Evil. He goes to this crate, pulls it. It's a video game.

He's got ammunition.

I don't know if they realize that they've made a video game. Made a great Resident Evil.

I can imagine these two were as their brothers. I can imagine they played this shit out of Resident Evil 1 and 2 when it first came out.

Yeah, I reckon.

Absolutely. Because we all did, let's be honest.

And like I said, the way they shot this film is, it's literally found footage exactly the way the same camera techniques, but this time you're doing it as the way it should be. But do you know what I mean? It's not first person. It's brilliant.

We get a few shots now of one of the guys gets his face blown off. It looks pretty good. One of the zombies all looks very good. Brian, as I say, he's broken that crate open. He runs off into a forest.

One thing with both of these films is very, very each time that the main character is so reliant on luck. So often is this car going to work? The zombies are really close. Oh, it does. I had no idea. Is this motorbike going to work? Is this crate going to have a gun in it and not a bunch of bananas? Because you can't just go and shove bananas in zombies' mouths.

I mean, you could do.

Do zombies eat fruit? No, listeners, please let us know. Zombies do they eat fruit? Yes. No, thank you.

Vampire fruit bats do.

Oh, don't care. Yeah.

Vampire fruit bats do. But I don't know about it. Because apparently in Fright Night, the reason he's eating an apple is because he's descended from a vampire fruit bat.

Oh, is that a reason?

That's one of the theories. Anyway, back to this one. So yeah, we also then start seeing this other guy, a soldier, an African soldier called Sergeant Daniel. And he's looking around a village, there's body parts everywhere. There's really good use of body parts. They've got some great prosthetic limbs and arms lying around, haven't they, in this? Whenever you see one. And again, it's just a few seconds. They don't linger on it.

And these all fully work in live AK-47s.

Yes, just got blanks in them, which they got in trouble with because they were near the President's House, as we mentioned. Whoopsie, probably should have checked that, guys.

And I bet they didn't really have an armorer either.

There is some cheesy vibes in this.

Do you think they had insurance?

No. There is some cheesy stuff in this one. There's certainly in the second one. In this one, you know, I suppose we need it, but there's a... When he gets changed in the forest, Brian, and he gets his ammunition, he then pulls out a photo of his wife and looks at it, and you're like, oh, okay, yeah. But I get we need to know that he's got, you know, a wife and possibly children, I think, that he wants to get back to.

Who wants to find his son?

He's trying to find his son. So he finds an old lady in his village, probably the only lady left alive, and she's been bitten. And she says, look, your son's escaped. He was picked up, probably picked up by a military convoy to take him to this other village miles, miles away. That's where they're taking the survivors we've heard. And he's like, right, I'll go and find him. So he's got his mission, and Brian's got his mission.

Yeah, they're both fairly decent, yeah.

What, where are we at now? Oh yeah, so Brian then finds another empty village. Now you're gonna notice this, guys, there's a lot of finding an empty village, driving for a little bit, walking for a little bit.

That's the only thing which, obviously, it comes down to, you know, the budget and how hard it was to do stuff. And they had problems trying to shoot in some villages and things. Is the geography in here, makes it feel very samey.

Because exactly like you said.

But I think it's because you want to climb mountains.

They're those guys, they're those guys. That's exactly what it is. They're just a filmmaking version of those guys.

Yeah, I wouldn't do it. I'm 47, so you haven't seen me do that, because I'm not doing that. I'm not gonna do that either.

Oh, I better cancel that.

I'll go to some local woods here. We might be going up to Scotland eventually to make the next film, but that's about it.

These two brothers clearly have a love of horror though, and know what works, because it's really hard to get tension right. And this next scene now, Brian finds this village, he finds a car, and he's got to basically take the wheel, put the wheel back on, remove the jack, check it works, all the while, there's like four or five zombies very slowly shuffling towards him.

Yeah, this is, they just must, like I said, shoot this, just completely shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, have that much stuff, so when you go back to edit, you have enough to be able to do that. But it still does take a skill, I presume these are the editors as well, or maybe not, have a quick look. It still does take a skill to get the timing and everything right, because obviously we all know there's good movies and shit films in all of our own opinions.

It's their baby, isn't it?

We have to do it, well, we've got no money. We have to do it ourselves. And yeah, it's their baby, absolutely. They know what they've got. It could be so much fucking hours. That's another thing, editing, if you've got, if Stanley Kubrick's editor must be like, fuck off, you twat. Stop doing so many takes.

What about Zack Snyder's editor, Christ.

But that's what I'm, then he's like, now I need a director's cut. Oh man.

Here's my eight hours director's cut.

But yeah, that's the one thing for editing. Only it's the worst thing, editing, if you've got hours and hours and hours and hours of footage to watch. But with this though, that's what they did themselves. And yeah, they must have been horror fans, lovers who knew how to make a fairly tight film with creepiness. It works really well. Because you've got to remember, they also had a massive translation problem with both films and have a translator.

So many obstacles for them.

But you'd cut around it. Zombies, as soon as, okay, you got a scene and he comes out, shoots some zombies. Then one zombie just smiles. Just the frame before he smiles, obviously, you cut there. Take the other way. Then you put all these little bits together. It's exactly how you would do found footage. You put all those bits you like, and then you go, okay, that goes there. Okay, it's a jigsaw. And eventually, it starts to make itself. It's quite easy, actually. You just have to have patience.

Well, Brian gets the truck started just in time. He does shoot one zombie, but then that noise of the gunshot attracts all the other zombies to look around. So it's classic zombie. They're attracted to noise. So he drives off. He sees a soldier in the middle of the road, but it's a zombie soldier. We get a really good hit. You know, a car hits it and then it splats.

It crushes his head and it's such good effects. It's like old school PH. Jackson.

Really good. And then he gets out and he takes the water.

And obviously it's all practical. There's no CGI blood in this, do you know what I mean?

So he takes the water from this guy. So again, a survival game, you know, you collect your food, your water as you're going. So he's collected the water off this dead guy that he just splattered the head off. Then we see the car stop when it gets to some rocky terrain. There's too many rocks in the road. So I'm getting sorcerer vibes now, Gav. It's all a bit tense. And he gets out and the zombies start swarming him. But here comes Daniel, Sergeant Daniel Dembele.

Yeah, hang on. So if he says, no, I'm not American. Like, I don't know, is he going to shoot him because you're not American? Pfft, like John Wayne movies. You're dead then.

Well, they end up sort of making a bit of a truce, and not a truce, truce, but Daniel says, I'll push the car because it won't go over these rocks and you drive it. And they get it over the really difficult bit. And then Brian just drives off and Daniel waits there. And then Brian stops the car and you think, yeah, he's realized this soldier's probably got a good heart. And Daniel knew that Brian would do this. So they then get in the car and they become, they have to become friends.

I was listening to, cause it's that whole sort of thing like, zombie movies and virus films, you have that quite a lot, where you have like these things happen. Walking Dead, Walking Dead because obviously it's so long, they managed to be able to have these relationships come in, all these different things, so it's just random characters.

Yeah, well, Daniel says to him, look, I know these roads and I wanna find my son, so let's form this uneasy alliance. And Lieutenant Bryan says, is there an air base near? He says, well, there is, but there's no planes that work there. And he says, well, I'm an engineer, that's what I do in the army, I'm an engineer and I can fix anything.

Because it originally was gonna be our main actor, but he was in hospital for malaria. So they're like, right, improvise, it's a whole gang of military army coming down the stead.

And then they found out there were probably the guys that were gonna come and tell them off for shooting guns near the president's house. Whoopsie. They arrive at a deserted building.

Again, so Resident Evil.

It is, there's a building here, and who's locked inside? A ton of zombies.

And they wanna go in there to get some morphine and some other stuff.

So they shoot them, they break in, they find morphine.

Honestly, if you didn't watch this, or you're gonna watch it again or whatever, or you're not seeing it, you wanna check it out, but look at it, it's like a Resident Evil movie.

They kill a chicken because they're both so hungry. But behind the scenes, one of the days, they hadn't eaten for 24 hours, they actually got, found two chickens and killed them and ate them. I wouldn't be surprised if this was one of the chickens and they just shot Daniel picking it up briefly and then said, right, okay, now cut. Okay, can I actually go and cut that chicken up? We're gonna have some chicken tonight. They hit the road again and the car breaks down.

Yeah, he's no fucking BA.

No, he's not, BA would literally, or MacGyver would literally get there.

Get out of the way fool.

He'd just make a plane out of, he would have made by now, the car would be a plane if it was BA.

Which BA is my uncle?

I love BA.

Uncle BA, Uncle Mr. T.

Uncle Barakas.

Uncle Barakas?

Uncle Barakas is coming over, he's going to build me a treehouse mum, oh god. It's going to be seven stories.

But the thing is mum, I get a headache. Every time he bends over to play with me, I just get these gold chains in my face. Bang, bang, bang.

Just give him his glass of milk and he'll pass out. We put drugs in it. Uncle Hannibal has given you the drugs to put in his milk. Poor old BA. Have a glass of milk BA. Every episode that happened.

Is this a new sitcom? Or is the A-Team now a little sitcom in a house?

There was actually one episode of- Living with BA. There was one episode of the A-Team where they had to go to Africa. It clearly wasn't shot in Africa. It was shot in a forest in America. But BA was like, I'm not getting on any plane for, as he would always say.

Of course.

So they gave him some orange juice or some milk. And he was on the plane and they were all really worried he was gonna wake up. They get to Africa and he wakes up and they're like, oh, quit, wind his watch. So he doesn't know what type, so he doesn't think, you know, anything different. And then they're wandering around and he's like, starts thinking, hang on a minute, I think I might be in Africa. Are we in Africa? And they're like, no, no, BA, of course we're not. We haven't been on a plane.

And it's been Africa as well. You think he might want to know that he's popping back to Africa or something.

Back to the motherland. Plus it's fucking hot there as well. There's going to be different animals and he would know, come on.

Yeah, Jamie, I don't bet you didn't think we could talk about the A-Team while we're viewing The Dead.

She was hoping we would, Gav, let's be honest.

It was a side note of hers. PS.

Try and talk about the A-Team.

He's bringing a sitcom of PA to conversation.

It's called Drink Your Milk, Fool.

Drink Your Milk, Fool.

That's the end of each episode. Drink Your Milk, Fool.

But it's Drink Your Oat Milk. It's 2024.

So what happened? So they searched the building. They start walking around. They say, look, we're going to have to help each other here. What can we do? The radio doesn't work. He starts radio, but he thinks, there's no point. No one can hear me. I'm not getting any signal or anything on the radio. There's probably no one around. They've raided this office. You know, it's just what it is, really.

All of it's really good in effects.

Daniel gets the fuel in a barrel and he says, look, let's help each other. So they then decide to walk all the way back to the car, fill it up and then drive forward again. So that's what they do. Nighttime, they hide very quietly in the trees. The zombies are walking past. And again, it's a zombie survival game. You're high, rather than shooting them all and taking them all out, you're saving your ammunition, you're saving your energy. You're hiding in the trees. They don't know you're there.

The other guy's just hacking her up.

He's like, let me just grab my machete, hack, hack, hack. He looks fucking great. He's got his little beret on.

This is not like the normal petrol station.

He's like, you just take care of them while I'm doing this. And all you can hear is, and they don't show it, which is good. All you hear is wakshing, wakshing, wakshing. And you see the look on Brian's face as he's like, clearly is looking over at his buddy, just hacking these guys to bits.

Yeah, that wouldn't be good if it was a normal petrol station. That'd be bad. Get a Scottish pasta at the kiosk. I bet that'd just be awful.

I'll ever tell you about the story about my grandpa with the neighbor who cut his wife's head off. I think I might have done on this show.

I think you should remind me.

My grandpa was my parent. My mum is from Zimbabwe near South Africa, as you know, and some of our listeners might remember. And my grandpa was a policeman over there, obviously white policeman. One of the only white policemen really in that area at that time. And he was well known in the village they lived in. And one day there was a knock at the door. The family were having my mum and her brothers and sisters were having dinner around the family table.

Your granddad?

Yeah, my granddad. So they were like five. My mum was probably like five or six. And it was the neighbor from the next farm. And he walked the sort of 10 minutes over to my mum's, my granddad's house, knocked on the door and said, I've done something really bad. So I need you to take me to to the police station. And he was holding his wife's head behind his back.

Surprise!

I had an argument with my wife and he cut his wife's head off and taking it to show my granddad.

You don't need proof. It's not like I'm not going to believe you. It's not like you come around every night telling me you've done something with your wife. I had an argument with my wife tonight. It's not like every night. You don't have to bring me the surprise head. Why did you bring the head?

My mum remembered of that was that there was a knock at the door and then her dad had to sort of go to work. But it wasn't until she was a lot older, obviously, you're not going to tell your kids to their adults about that. I was like, fucking hell, mum, you were close to a severed head when you were having your dinner that night.

Fucking hell. That's gnarly. That's actually someone with a severed head. I'm getting that house party vibes. Follow the drip. Follow the drip. Follow the drip.

Oh, God, there would have been a drip, would there? Jesus. Why did he do it? Anyway, that's enough of that.

Public enemy or public enema.

Sorry, Jamie, we're going on tangents, but that's what we do. Anyway, they get back in the car, they start driving and they discuss that we need more food, more water. Brian starts nodding off. So Daniel says, look, I'll drive you sleep. It's like in The Mouth Of Madness, there is no car horn hidden in this one.

I love Sam Neill with his little fucking horn.

Sam Neill, you little bastard.

With his little clown horn.

I would have loved it if there was that reference in this. Only a few people would have got it, but it is what it is. But yeah.

Dude, if I can, I will slip that into a movie, but it is obviously ridiculous almost.

No wonder she loses it. So they then get stopped at gunpoint by some soldiers. They're questioned and they say to the African guy, Daniel, what are you doing with him? What's going on? And he said, Oh, we're friends. We're helping each other. Do you guys have anything to eat?

Sorry. Imagine if Malfoy Madness was Sam Neill and the whole time it was just him with a whoopie cushion. Just all the way through the movie, it's just little gags. She looks, she says, have a look with Banochka's balls and his little black rings around her eyes.

So let's smell this flower on my jacket and some water squirts out of it.

Do you want some chewing gum? It's a snapping chewing gum packet. It's just old school gags. I miss Gavis Madness, which is him just doing jokes the whole time.

She takes her jacket off and goes off to the bathroom and he pours loads of itching powder in the back of her jacket.

Classic. Is it a spider in her cup of tea?

Sam Neill, you naughty boy.

Sorry.

So anyway, they hang out at this village and it's a mixture of, well, they say we're no longer soldiers, we were, but we don't see ourselves as that. Now we see ourselves as more survivalists and we're basically, there's a war against the undead. We're fighting them and we're trying to help any survivors we can. There is a place quite near here. That's where Daniel's son is. Daniel sort of talks to them and he says, look, this is where your son will be.

He was four days from dying.

Yeah, that's pretty bad. He starts having terrible hallucinations and dreams about his wife and his kid and flashbacks to the plane and other stuff. And he wakes up and he feels a bit better and that's fine. And Daniel says, OK, you're good now. It's time to leave. So they get back in the car and they head off again. They do need some water for the engine though, because again, the car breaks down. It's about the fourth time now it's broken down.

Which is essentially the story of the filmmakers.

But then, and again, we've seen this scene three or four times now. They've got zombies slowly approaching them while they're filling up the water in the car and they manage to get away just in time.

These two, these two, their journeys to get through whatever it takes with whatever obstacles come on their way and just keep going is exactly is the filmmakers making this film is these two guys, isn't it?

It really is.

It is that.

Totally.

That's fucking, that's some crazy shit out there, man.

Life imitates art, imitates life, imitates art, my friend.

Fart imitates, oh, art imitates life.

Fart imitates strife. They end up crashing the car because they swerve to avoid a zombie and they have to run because they get swarmed by some zombies. We got more machete action from Daniel the Machete. He just swinging that thing all over the place and his machete as well. Then they set a tripwire with some old empty cans so they can try and catch some sleep near a campfire. And this is where they sort of bond a little bit.

It did help breaking up the story having him come in to go out there, but I think maybe a bit more of him.

Yeah, he's a good character, compelling, but Brian then carries his body, well, as he's dying, he carries him and then he finally he dies. Brian carries on on his own, then he's thinking of his family. He finds a dying woman who gives him a baby. So he shoots her in the head because, you know, she's been, I think she's been bitten.

She says, I can't run anymore, the zombies are coming, just take my baby. He's like, I don't want a baby lady. But it's a bit like, I could even look after the last guy and he had a machete. But this is this is what it's like a game again. It's just like, you know, you imagine this sort of thing happening. And she says, can you shoot me? So he just shoots her.

Yeah, he gives the baby to a passing car of survivors who take it. You know, obviously. And then he wanders alone. And at this point, I've I've noted it is going on a little bit now. We want it kind of wraps up a little bit now. As beautiful as these, you know, and then they're making the most of these backgrounds and, you know, scenery.

I tell you what, sorry to interrupt again. Have you ever seen Shogun's Assassin? I know it's a combination of two other films. It's Baby Khan's River Six or whatever. Have you seen Shogun's Assassin?

Yeah, yeah.

I kind of wanted this to be the same film, but zombies. Him get the baby early on.

The reason I've seen it is because of the Wu-Tang Clan, because of one of the Jesus album samples it heavily, doesn't it? Yeah. So yeah, my father was...

Greatest samurai in all of Japan. So I'd have loved this to have been him with a baby most of the time, just fighting off zombies.

Like, what's the Chow Yun-Fat movie? Is it Hard Boiled?

It's Hard Boiled. Yeah, same.

Fucking great.

I'd have loved to have seen this in zombies. I think it could have been done.

Hard Boiled is such a great movie. There's a scene in it that I don't even question.

I've only seen it once. I can't remember, but I know it's so good.

He lets the baby piss on a fire to put it out while he's shooting guys. That is how bad ass Chow Yun-Fat is.

Yeah, it's a really fun film.

John Woo, man. He was... Yeah, so he finds a zombie and it's a zombie wearing all the black robes that he was wearing in the opening scene. So we know we're going to come back to that scene now because he kills that zombie, puts on those robes.

Yeah, it's a nice callback for us to go, ah!

We're back to the start now. And he arrives looking all cool. He's got a gun and a machete in slow motion.

Sorry, did you say about the fact that he gave the baby away?

Yes, yes.

Okay, yeah, yeah. Which was kind of weird to bring the baby and then the baby goes straight away. It's a bit like, okay, that's what I was like. We could have pulled that thing for, look, you don't actually have to have a baby. You can have something immaterial with the sound of baby crying. It's very easy to do. But we could have kept that going for a bit longer, I felt.

And there's a similar scene in the next one, but they go more extreme.

And it's very, very good.

And my wife was, my wife watched this, by the way, what both of these was absolutely, and it's not, I don't, she's really, in the last couple of years, really got into horror because she just watches it with me. Well, she's-

She's had children.

She's honestly, she'll sit there either working, you know, she works quite late with her job.

She needs to relieve that tension.

Or she's crocheting or something, you know, and she'll just be like, and I don't even realize she's really into it. And then she'll go, fucking hell, the credits were all like on this. She went, that was so good. And particularly the scene in the next one, which we'll talk about that when we come to it. We're coming to the end now. So he gets to a radio and radio someone who then replies and he's somebody that he knows. And he said like, the world's pretty fucked, Brian. Let's be honest.

Did you say about him climbing in a tree for rest?

Oh yeah, he climbs up in a tree. This was one of the directors.

I'd be so worried that I was just gonna fall out. And he drops his gun at one point and it's kind of wait till the morning. It's kind of like, well, zombie can't get me. So it's fair enough, wait till the morning and get down when no one's coming. Cause you got, the best thing about trees, the advantage point of looking around you at 360, that's really good. A snakes and share or anything like that might be a problem. But yeah, possibly.

That one's already got loads of blood coming out of it.

Yeah, and they seem to be trying to eat each other. Do we eat them or we could get like mad cow's disease, mad human's disease.

And then they go, Oi, Jeff.

Cause there's always Jeff.

Go and eat one of them. And then Jeff turns into a zombie lion and they're like, nah, we're not gonna eat one.

Everyone always picks on Jeff and make him do the stupid things. So Jeff, you go eat one. Unless we watch Jeff for the next 12 hours, if he has an issue, we won't do it.

And then Jeff turns into a zombie lion and they're like, yeah, fuck that.

Cause that, does that happen? Listeners, do zombies, lions turn into zombies if they eat zombies?

Well, we had a tiger zombie in the Army of the Dead.

True. You got to think though, I guess, I do remember that now. You got to think though, all the wildlife, the gnarly wildlife would eat humans, must have a field day with zombies. Just thought of that. Never thought of that, the whole zombie genre ever. Never thought how great the wildlife would have it with eating humans.

As long as they're dead, sir. And if it's passed only from human to human, they're okay.

But they're not gonna know, they're animals. They're still gonna eat, or would they sniff it out and be like, that's not right? They might sniff it out.

So he's on the radio to his buddy, and his buddy's saying, look, don't come here. There's no point, you know, we're trapped in this base, but they're surrounding us outside. And you can hear the noise of these zombies breaking through. And they're like, they're breaking through the walls, Brian. They're breaking down the walls. And then Brian realizes they're breaking down the walls of the base. He's in as well with all the survivors. Everyone gets killed. Brian seems to give up.

Daniel's son, I keep thinking of Cry Kid.

Oh, right, okay, yeah. And it ends with Brian standing shoulder to shoulder with Daniel's son. And that's it. You pretty much presume they're gonna be eaten by zombies. Not a happy ending.

Yeah.

What can I say? Really? But I don't really want a happy ending. I'm quite happy. It's just a story of a guy that made it a couple of hundred miles across Africa, only to still be pretty fucked.

Yeah, totally. It's the thing with zombie films. There's some films you could do it and we've seen it a million times, where we don't get a reason why. We don't know why there's zombies, especially the zombie genre. No, no, and it concludes with us not knowing and if anything actually happened, it's really the actual adventure itself. And there's loads of films to do that.

Not the destination, it's the journey.

And that is also these fucking crazy, masochistic fucking film directors. For them, it's the journey.

Just a few bits of trivia, then we'll sort of wrap it up, and all the special effects.

But all in all, sorry, all in all, I do give it a thumbs up, but it is a little same-all, it kind of stays the same. If anything, if you're like, oh, I don't know if I watch both, I only watch one, I'm going to say just watch part two, because they're not related. It's the same story in different countries.

It's pretty much a remake almost, but a little bit better, a little bit punchier.

Yeah.

In a different country. Just very quickly, just to fill in some blanks, they didn't use any safety gear when he climbed that rock quarry, as I mentioned, because he was still under the influence of the malaria.

Does it say that we didn't have insurance either?

The budget or anything like that, they shot all the opening scenes and the opening scenes in the desert and the closing scenes on the last day of shooting. They must have been so happy. And that's why he looked so shattered in those scenes. They cast multiple amputees as zombies. All special effects were done in camera. So that head crush with the fire extinguisher, the head squash with the car. Don't know how they did it all, but they did it all in camera and it looks great.

Can we hire this effects artist? If he could do that under that conditions, you know.

The only bits that were shot not in Africa were anything in the plane. That was all shot in England. They had an inside holoed out plane that they used in England, where they shot all the plane scenes. But yes, so going back to what you said, I also give this a thumbs up. It's not a must watch. It's not like one that you should go out of your way to go watch. But if you do catch it, or you now are inspired to watch it, you won't regret it. Prepare yourself for a slow burn.

I'd forgotten about the film.

Yeah, I'd seen it once before and it comes up occasionally on lists of zombie films or podcasts that are sort of talking about low budget zombie films. It's definitely one of the better low budget zombie films.

The effects artist has gone on to do The Martian and he's just done effects on the recent Venom movie.

Wowee, pretty interesting. The sound mix was completed by Bafta nominated Adam and Graham Daniel. And the book, once again guys, it's called Surviving The Dead. It came out in 2012 and it's basically the diary of everything that went on for the 12 days that they were there, 12 weeks they were there. They were supposed to be there for six weeks and they ended up staying twice as long with less money than they thought. So check that book out as well. But yeah, thumbs up from both of us.

Yeah, thumbs up. Like I said though, it is a wee bit of a slow one because it feels a little bit like that. Sarah wasn't blown away by the film. She thought it was all right, you know, so. But like I said, second one's pretty decent actually. So we should, should we, oh, who's that? Is that Bill?

Where, what? Hello mate, you all right?

Yeah, yeah, we thought Ghostbusters were right. You missed us talking about it. I feel like that's quite rude because we told you to come early so you could listen to us talking about Ghostbusters. Well, you didn't come, so.

You look great in it, Bill.

Yeah, you look like you cared as well. So well done.

I like my favorite scene was the little whiskey bottle shot. That was good. Good fun. Very Peter Boehmann.

I apologize. I need to watch it again. I kind of forgot a lot of it.

There we go. All right. Well, Bill, now you're finally here. Do you want to lead us in to our next segment, please?

Come on, Bill. Hi, welcome back to World Of The Strange.

World Of The Strange.

World Of The Strange. World Of The Strange.

World Of The Strange. Thank you, Bill.

Thanks, Bill.

Very good voice. Thank you, Bill. Well, unrelated completely to zombies or anything like that, I have something that I came across the other day. I'm a big superhero fan, as you know, Gav.

Yep.

You know, love, love wearing light cramp.

I've seen the pictures.

And I thought it'd be interesting to, I'm already laughing, to take a look at some real life superheroes. Now, these are people that you can Google. There's the pictures of them, people that actually actively go out there in costumes.

Not people actively and actually have powers and they can fly.

Not powers, but some of the lot of them have weapons. OK, so I'm going to go through this. There's a list here.

How many have you got here?

There's a few. There's a few. It's going to be like 10 to 15. I might skip some of them. I'll start with Zeta Man, Z-E-T-A Man. Zeta Man with a big Z on his chest or a Z on his chest. There's a man that takes his role very seriously and he patrols the streets of Portland armed with a steel basin. It's like 2 meters long and a 30,000 volt taser. And he roams the streets looking for citizens that need help.

Single?

I should imagine.

I listened to very quickly, I listened to a podcast, I can't remember which podcast it was. And a listener sent in a story, whatever, and they said that they were almost getting mugged one night, and this quite a big person, and they were a bit like, what the fuck?

Well, I think you're going to like the next superhero, just by the name alone. This is an Australian superhero. He's called Wheel Clamp Man.

Is it like Parking Meter Man? I know where we're going with this. Is he helping the people who have had clamps put in their cars?

Well, let's have a look at his.

He's my hero.

He operates in the city of Perth in Australia, and he travels the city, removing clamps from drivers wheels, wearing a disguise, which is a fake mustache, a green bowler hat, a red mask like the Riddler.

I was about to say yourself like an old school Batman, isn't it?

A green like Rassou and a green helmet, bowler hat type thing. And he just basically, if he sees a car that's been clamped by the government, just pops it off, runs off into the night.

My commentary on this one is a bit of like, this particular individual, how many cars are clamped per mile? Not many, probably not many. What's he doing in between?

Living in his mum's basement.

Just up and down the road all day long, waiting.

And he comes out at night though.

And he comes out at night? Okay, so I guess it's the cars that have been there. So it might be easy to get around. Okay.

But you imagine in the morning, you're like, oh, the clamp's gone. And there's a note saying, you're welcome.

But what if you don't even appreciate it because you don't even know your car got clamped because he's taken off? You might not know. Yeah, you have no idea and you just drive off. And he's like, you could have thanked me for what? I could just tell people that. Your car was clamped and I took off.

I should imagine he leaves the clamp lying there, you know, snapped in two.

Yeah, but I could just take a snap clamp, put it next to a car, charge people.

Where are you getting snapped clamps?

I've got a fucking garage of snap clamps. I would then charge against a tenner. I did that. Tenner, tenner. It cost you 100, otherwise. Tenner.

Well, the next person on the list is called, and this is a good name, the Crimson Fist.

The choice of name is interesting. What does the Crimson Fist do?

He's a very special man who discovered his superhero persona.

He is to some.

He discovered that he had a superhero persona after years of drug and alcohol abuse.

Is he like the Brown Bottle in the Fizz comic?

By day, he's an IT programmer, and by night, he spends his time helping the homeless, handing out supplies like bottled water, socks and food, using his own money.

Oh, that's cool.

But why is he the Crimson Fist?

Maybe it's a party conversation.

The image on his chest is like a red symbol with blood coming off of it.

Do you think when he's at parties, just saying I'm a superhero enough, is not enough to start this conversation. I'm going to say that I'm the Crimson Fist. Yeah, he's got a big fist, probably yes. Big fist on his chest.

Well, Gav, you know Wheel Clamp Man?

Yeah.

There's an English version. He's called Angle Grinder Man.

I was going to say something else about Crimson Fist. I can't remember now. Angle Grinder Man.

Well, he could be the Brain Fist, and that's something completely different.

It wasn't anything to do a fist in.

Angle Grinder Man. Superhero operating in England. He patrols at night, again looking for unhappy drivers that have been clamped, and he sets their car free.

What town is this in?

It doesn't actually say. It looks like it's up north. But basically, he takes off clamps, he cuts down speed cameras, and he's now trying to take on the congestion charge.

Oh, so he's London.

So that is Angle Grinder Man.

Well, you do have, if you don't know... Oh, I was going to say about Viz. That's what I was going to say, about the brown bot. Or if you don't know, Viz is a British comic, which is a rude comic, which when you were a kid and you had one, you thought you were very naughty and you'd have to hide them with your porn collection, funnily enough. But the brown bot was this guy who just, when he gets drunk, he turns into a superhero. It's fucking amazing. Angle Grinder Guy.

This is the next one, is a guy from Florida.

Hang on, Angle Grinder Guy.

That's it, he just cuts down speed cameras and takes off wheel clumps.

That's what I was going to say. In London, recently, we've passed a year or so, we've had the congestion charge. No, it's the, not congestion charge, it is a congestion charge.

No, it is a congestion charge, yeah.

I thought it was the other one. There's another charge. Oh, fucking hell, I can't remember. It was extended loads. So loads of people pissed off with it. So they started cutting the cameras down, left, right and centre.

And I think I'll grind a man.

Yeah, could well be.

Well, here's the next one. He's from Florida. So already we're on to a winner here. He's called Super Hero. That's his name. What are your thoughts on the name?

Oh, he's confusing. So you're Super Hero. What's your name? I know that. What's your name? Super Hero. My name is Super Hero, but you're Super Hero called Super Hero. Yeah. Super Hero. I quite like it. Do you then say, Yo, Super.

What he does is he drives around in wearing Lycra. He's a really big buff guy.

What is it with a Lycra? Is it aerodynamic?

Perhaps. You can stretch them.

It's just sexiness. They just want to show their buttocks.

All of it. All of it. Well, he drives around in a red 1975 Corvette, helping stranded motorists and teaching young people about road safety.

Pedo.

Fucking hell. He kind of looks a bit like one. I'm looking at the picture of now. What you guys, you know, you can Google these guys as I'm saying them, but the picture of him, he does have a bit of a weird grin on his face. OK, well, let's move on to Cincinnati. Cincinnati, shadow hair.

H-A-R-E.

I thought it was going to be like shadow head or something.

Shadow hair.

Shadow hair. Started life as a crime fighter in 2005 in Cincinnati. He's become widely known throughout the news and various videos, up to and including 2009, all the way up to 2012. There's no thoughts on what he does, but he goes around on a scooter looking for trouble. But I don't mean he's never done anything. He's just been spotted in his weird costume.

This is just some autistic kid. Like, shadow hair.

Yeah, the shadow hair.

Yeah, bless him, bless him. Let him do their little thing.

Let's come back to the UK. This is the coolest name. The flashing blade.

The flashing blade. That sounds better than shadow hair.

Back in 2007, a mysterious crusader appeared out of nowhere and helped the police catch some criminals on a street in South Shields, which is near Newcastle in the UK. Apparently, this man, known as the flashing blade, ran up to an armed gang who were about to attack two unarmed detectives. He slashed frantically with a three-foot sword, cutting one of the gang members on the arm, and then vanished off into the night. The gang were panicked by this, and they gave themselves up.

A bunch of crackheads went back and started to just get the sweats and panic and fucking hell, come six o'clock, come on, let's get down to the cop shop.

What I want to know is why a man is walking around South Shields with a three-foot sword, just looking like, actually, are there any cops I can help right now? Why has he got a sword that big? Vanny is described as five foot ten, white, in his forties with a moustache.

OK, it's always the white guys. Serial killer is always white.

What else have we got? We got Mr. Extreme.

It sounds like a fucking lap dancer.

Or a wrestler.

Or a wrestler in daytime, lap dancer at night.

Hang on, what lap dancing clubs are you going to, Reli? Next on stage is Mr. Extreme.

I don't say that I go to them. Whenever I spring something up, a profession in the world of sex or something like that, it doesn't mean I participate in such a profession with the changing of hand of money.

The changing of hand of money. Mr. Extreme is an American real life superhero who fights crime in San Diego, California. He's also the leader and the founder of the Extreme Justice League, which gained attention through the Real Life Superhero Project and its website. He says, the inspiration for my suit is from the Power Rangers.

Is it now?

Yeah, he's wearing like a green, bright, luminous green. You know, like Mountain Dew green. He's got that color green suit on with a helmet and goggles. He looks like someone out of Kick Ass, you know, the movie Kick Ass. He looks like someone out of that.

Yeah, first time I ever tried Mountain Dew, I was actually up in Maryland.

Fantastic. Don't remember the first time I tried it.

Yeah, I was up, not like one particular mountain, I wasn't manning climbing. It's like a very big bit. I was staying somewhere, but it was high up in the mountain sort of thing.

Well, here's another good name for you for the next one on the list. Master Legend.

Not Master Beta.

No, Master Legend. His enemy is Master Beta.

Master Legend sounds like an 80s DJ, hip hop DJ.

Sounds like a Wu-Tang Clan DJ that occasionally does one of their songs.

Master Legend. Yeah, he comes in and does the... Basically, when they say Wu-Tang's playing tonight, you go, oh, my goodness, we'll go down there. It's one member you've never ever heard of rapping and this DJ we're talking of.

He does a lot of charity work and says, I will help anyone who needs my aid. But again, I have no other information on him other than he looks like Robocop. He looks like Robocop and he's got a massive metal baseball bat.

What do you mean he looks like Robocop?

Has he got no eyebrows? No, he's got like a Robocop suit on, it looks like. Oh. Master legend.

He's just a fucking rapper, guaranteed.

Well, we just talked about Africa, so let's talk about an African superhero.

What's he called?

Lionheart.

I love it. That's a good name. It's authentic. That means that he's like, he's passionate, he's awesome.

Jesus Christ. I am Lionheart.

Hear me roar.

You can imagine him sort of. Well, apparently he roams his many villages where he lives, helping people, saving people's lives.

Kind of vigilante.

Teaching people the importance of appreciating the simple things in life. And he apparently can fend off a lion, and he teaches people how to prevent lion attacks. It's never been seen him fight a lion, of course.

Yeah.

I can't imagine he'd come off very well against a lion, let's be honest.

I don't think so.

But yeah, Lionheart from Africa. He sounds great.

It does sound pretty impressive. It is a good name choice.

So is that your winning name at the moment, Lionheart? Oh, no. Is Wheel Clump Man your favorite?

It could be.

Okay. What about the Knight Warrior?

The Knight Warrior sounds like a fucking serial killer. Sounds like a Night Stalker.

He's from Manchester in England.

Oh, God.

His mission statement on his website is, My mission is to kick ass and chew bubble gum on a mule out of gum. Dude, get a life.

Is that honestly?

That's what's on his website. There's a guy who you're not going to like this one. He's called The Geist, as in Poltergeist, but just The Geist. And he lives in Rochester, New York. And his goal is to prevent crime and to stop all graffiti artists.

What's wrong with graffiti artists?

The Geist doesn't like them. Now, he wears a duster, a really long duster coat, big boots and a cowboy hat with a mask over it. He looks badass.

He sounds like a bit of a tool.

Well, here's a really good one from Helsinki, Finland. His name is Dex Laserskater.

Dex Laserskater?

I knew you'd like that one.

Oi, are you going to go see Dex later? Dex Laserskater. Oh yeah, definitely going to see Dex later. Er, Skater.

He wears giant pants basically.

Under or over?

Just pants and like a training bra, it looks like. And then has like a bandolier full of badges or down it.

He's in a synthwave band, isn't he?

He's also a model. Of course he is. But he models in character.

As Dex Laserskater.

And he's been known to help tourists when they're lost. He also makes sure people tip their waiters.

Alright, I'm going to look up Dex Laserskater.

Please look him up. Dex, D-E-X.

Oh, that's alright, I've got it. What is the laser S or Z?

An S. I want you to see this man. He looks like... I don't know what he looks like, but I really can't wait to hear you. The image I'm looking at, he's holding on to like a metal pole looking over to the right. Tell us what you see.

Oh, I've just seen Dex the Laserskater, and it's... Oh my god, isn't that... There's a video of it. Oh my god. Okay, he looks like a pedo. No offence. He rolled a boots. We were showing his little bum cheeks and little white pants. He looks like he's kind of from the future in a really bad movie, but that puts some trousers on.

Why has he got so many cups around his waist? Why is he...

Oh, and look at his bum as he skates along. I don't see that.

That's Dex Laserskater.

What the fuck?

Happy with that?

He has 2,116 followers on Instagram. At Dex Laserskater. Shout out, Dex.

Well, here's another good one.

You do look a little bit nonce though, so just to say.

Here's a great name. The next one. Back to Oz now. Captain Australia.

Yeah.

That's getting great.

There's Captain America.

There's Captain Britain and there's Captain America. We need a Captain Australia as well. What's Captain Britain? Captain Britain. Brian Braddock. He's one of the X-Men. Did you know Captain Britain? In X-Men, there's a British version called the Executioners. No, Excalibur. And Nightcrawler and Captain Britain and a few other people are in it. He's Brian Braddock.

I love the fact that you say that. I guarantee there's a lot of our listeners that are like, no, I've never heard of Captain Britain.

A lot of people have heard of Captain Britain, particularly because at the moment, Henry Cavill is heavily rumored to be playing him for the MCU.

Right, I had that idea.

But I've always been a big Captain Britain fan. Anyway, Captain Australia, he spent two years, he's retired now, but he spent two years fighting crime in Brisbane. But for some reason, he's vanished and his website has been taken down and his YouTube account has been disabled.

What's he done?

Fucking hell, Captain Australia, what have you been up to?

What have you been up to? What have they found?

There's a brilliant one in Hong Kong here. She's called the Bahweenia Heroine. She basically has watched way too many anime and Jackie Chan movies. She's wearing a cloak, black. She looks like Trinity from The Matrix, but she's got like a cloak as well. She's a masked woman in Hong Kong, making headlines all over the country, distributing food and money to the homeless and the poor at night. She's also been known to stop the old crime here and there.

Or for the Avengers.

Yeah. The last one is a Greek, a Greek guy. Well, he's actually in Canada, but he's based on a Greek legend. He's called Thanatos. So the personification of death itself. And he's a 65 year old fellow from Vancouver, Canada. And he roams the streets in a long black, sort of grim reaper, you know, like the Undertaker would wear in wrestling. He's got a suit, basically wearing that outfit, but with a green skull mask and a tie with skull and crossbones all down it.

Well, you've got some fantastic ones, Ed. I think Slayers has got his name. I don't like it what I saw.

The Flashing Blade is good.

The Flashing Blade is good. Shadow hair is a bit weird.

The Crimson Fist. Good name.

Crimson Fist? Well, it's a good name in some circles.

Will Clampman. Angle Grinder Man. Super Hero. That's your least favorite then, is it?

And Captain Australia, what have you done, you naughty boy?

What have we been up to?

What have we been cancelled?

And then obviously we had Mr. Extreme as well.

You're going to make a really shit Avengers movie.

Master Legend. Oh, don't forget Lionheart. We can't forget Lionheart, the African one. He might be my favorite.

I guess so.

But there we go. So Gav, that leads me to my final point and question here is, if you were going to be a superhero, what would your powers be? What would your name be?

If I was to be a superhero, what would my name and powers be? Do you have an answer for this already?

I don't really.

Yeah, but I'm going to go with Gavatron.

I love it. That's a bit close to your real name though. So if they were like, who is this Gavatron?

Yeah, but that's like Clark Kent with a fucking pair of glasses and they can't tell it's Superman.

He's not called Clark Superman, is he?

Yeah, but he's only wearing a pair of glasses. It's not exactly that fucking different. So I would do that. My Gavatron would be take my glasses off. My eyes are lasers.

That means you'd be fucked.

So basically, I'm sure, when my glasses come off, it's just lasers until I put back on.

Say you're Cyclops. Cyclops is power for the X-Men.

Essentially, I'm dangerous as fuck because I'm short-sighted. So basically, I'm wandering around burning fucking anything.

You know that is Cyclops from the X-Men. He's got, he cannot stop these red optic blasts coming out of his eyes, which is why he wears that weird visor.

Mine's the other way around though. When I take the glasses off, it's just literally constant.

But that's the same as him. That's why he wears the visor because if he doesn't have that on, he's constantly just blowing shit up around him.

That's me.

So you're Cyclops's powers and you're called Gavatron.

Yeah.

Love it. Cyclops is one of my favorite X-Men, so that's pretty decent.

Also though, I've got a real bad drinking problem. It's not for drama, it's more for comedy. Because when I take it off, I'm short sighted and drunk, wandering around, burning shit for a laugh. It's dark. It gets dark. It's the 18 type, like that dude that's bringing the movie out this year, Deadpool. It's like him.

Christ. That is a dark one. So you're just frying animals.

Not necessarily animals, people too. I'm going to literally go. It's getting worse. No, it gets so dark that I'm burning babies. It's that dark.

I wish I don't understand how we've got here.

It is dark.

Is Ryan Reynolds with you in this then, is he?

He's an enemy. Really? We were friends once. But what's yours?

I don't even know what to say after all that. Dynamite Dan. Oh, because when I was a kid, I wanted to be a wrestler. And that was my name that I always used to say. So, Dynamite Dan, I think my powers would probably have to be, I'd be really good at like every type of martial art there is. But also a bit like Deadpool, I guess, or Wolverine. I get hurt, but I heal really quickly. So, I'm pretty much indestructible.

Can it be, that's what I'm going with, can it be that you've actually got a level on your forehead. You've got a level. It's actual level on your head, and it goes white, yellow to red. And when it gets to red, you actually explode. You actually explode and take everybody out of a 10 mile radius. But then...

T1000 back together.

Back together again. But it's a really painful problem. Every time it happens, your penis goes a centimeter smaller, a millimeter smaller.

So I'm basically a suicide bomber, is what you're saying.

Yeah, which gets a smaller penis each time it happens.

I've got a shit.

So really... So really, you're trying not to let your head explode because it does make your other head smaller each time.

So I'm like the Hulk, but instead of getting too angry and...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just explode, kill everyone around me.

Basically, you're the Hulk, but your dick gets smaller each time it happens. So you're really trying...

How have I got this under the deal? You're fucking laser eyes over there.

Otherwise, you're like, I'm the manic to every fucking martial art. It means you can just shoot and kill everybody, no problem. And it gets boring for the audience. If they notice a situation, and your girlfriend, who you love, is in a situation where she's like, please don't let your head explode, because your willy is getting smaller. Even unless it's small, it's getting really small.

I think she'd be more worried about the fact that I'm going to kill her and take out the whole building we're in.

It's only if she gets angry.

So that is the downside. So I'm really badass, and I can heal from a lot of things. But if there's like 20 guys fighting me, I might get pushed too much.

You might be going like, right, guys, my dick's getting small for this. What?

I'm willing to take a millimetre off for you lot. Get ready. What is he on about? What is his head doing?

That means his dick's getting small.

That means he's going to explode. Cinematically, then it just cuts from me going, and then it just cuts to the outside of a building. No music, all silent. And then the whole building just goes, and then slowly all this goop gets back together, and it's me.

Yeah. So I'm sorry about that. I am an alcoholic, and it does become a problem eventually.

And you are killing babies.

After a while, it becomes a problem, and I do go to AA, and I get off it. But I do get a serious crack habit later on down the line.

Maybe we team up, and I help you with your substance abuse issues.

Yeah, I'm just selling my fire for crack.

And you help me keep my cool head. And we're a bit like seen new evil, here new evil. Because you've got the shades on.

I know, I'm a pitted. I'm slightly blind.

Oh, God.

And I just can't get you angry. You're making me angry.

Stop being so rubbish.

I can't help it. I'm blind and I'm drunk.

Gavatron and Dynamite Dan.

Love it. Let's do it. Anyway, that's that. World Of The Strange.

Bill, what would your superpower be? No, being invisible. No, that's not a good reason to use going invisible.

Come on, Dandy. Let's get out of here.

That's all the time we've got for this week on World Of The Strange. Next week, though, give me iron. Hairless pets. Mr. Nicholas, why did you come to India? I'm an engineer. I was offered a contract. We build wind farms. Purest source of energy, you know? Opportunity of a lifetime. Maybe I was looking for a fresh start. Nicholas, I'm pregnant. I don't know what's happening, there's fighting outside. Yashani, where are you right now? Stay where you are. I'm coming for you.

Yeah, the first one was a tester, it feels like. Like the first one, I think the conditions are actually shitter. A lot shitter, a lot more like illness, their money being taken from them. But I think this one is still not good, still had to sell their way to get out of situations at times. But I think, yeah, definitely did that. Obviously had some time from making it and then going, okay, we've edited, okay, make a right film.

They essentially wanted to recreate, to try again and succeed this time. Although they succeeded last time, they wanted to have a smoother ride and they picked another country. This time they said they wanted to choose a really beautiful spiritual part of the world. So they chose in India, obviously. It's got some incredibly vibrant colors. You know, the way the sun falls, the clothing, all the bright colors and dyes that are used and everything.

At least getting a permit, officials know you're there doing that if there is a problem. They can sort of intervene or step in possibly and bring in some sort of reinforcements or some description because it is so guerrilla. It's literally them going, we're gonna fucking just get through this and do this. Like I said, total balls out both times.

They're in the slums of India, where anything goes, shooting some of these scenes. And again, not a single real person really spoke English. So they had to have translators with them all the times, which was another obstacle when it came to directing. Oh, fuck you. There's a few of the cast that spoke English. Some of the Indian cast spoke English, but not many of the extras did. So there was that as well.

The scene is really full on scene. It's in movies and sometimes scenes. I won't forget the scene, actually.

This is a scene where it's the same as...

It's accepted and you kind of understand that that is the right thing to do. It's the humane thing to do, even though it's fucking... It's kind of the ending of The Mist.

The Mist, yes. Thank you. Because Alice watched the movie with me as well.

We will get to that scene.

She was shocked at that scene. And then I then described the ending of The Mist to her.

Yeah, we'll talk about it when we get to it.

Yeah, yeah. So yeah, they had a lot of tension again. Not as much as being in Africa, but this time there was still a lot of problems. And you're in Mumbai, you're in parts of India that are a little bit unsanitary. So you're going to catch a few bits and bobs.

Ishani's mother, there's someone who's called Ishani. I say it's the girl, the one who's pregnant. Her mother's real name is Poonam.

Poonam. That's right. Poonam. The adverts over here for nappies are Poonami, they say, don't they? Yeah, so they still had a lot of problems, but Jamie wanted to know what we thought of the style and the change up in the way that they shot.

Jamie's question is very particular technical there. It's frames per second, she said, and I didn't know this, I'm sorry.

Oh, did you not?

No.

I mean, the whole movie is in slow motion this summer, ain't it?

Not the whole film.

No, but a lot of the scenes are very slow-mo.

Oh yeah, no, yes, obviously I did notice that because I was actually gonna say it's a very good way to make things look more epic and higher production is things like slow motion. It really just is.

I don't think there was a single use of slow-mo in the first one that I can recall.

This is where, okay, who has edited this one? I'm guessing it's gonna be them. Yes, he's edited it again, Howard did. So they've got better in their game. What have they done in between? You carry on talking, I wanna see what they've done in between.

Nothing really. They haven't really done an awful lot.

They must be doing some filmmaking or some description though, do you know what I mean? No, they did do stuff. They made some films. They made a movie called Adventure Boys. Oh no, this is before. Oh no, it didn't, Dead One, Dead Two. Straight away, 2010, 2013.

Straight to this.

Adventure Boys though, that's funny because that played at Friday First, I remember. And they're still making movies.

The other thing about this movie is not only does it look better than the first one, and that's saying something, it's a better story as Gav's just said, but also the lead actor in it, played by Joseph Milson, he is phenomenal. He carries this film.

He's a bit fucking Frank Grillo, isn't he?

He is Frank Grillo, isn't he? He does look like him. I think he's British, isn't he? And he's really charismatic.

He's a good actor.

He doesn't seem to be a soldier, but he's not. He's an engineer, but then he gets pushed into being almost a soldier.

He's very adaptive as an actor, I think. Or his character, the fact that he could go, it is the turbine engineer to soldier.

And he looks fucking badass. When he's on a motorbike, flying through the desert.

He is very well cast. He's better cast than the first one. Now, do you think, we can't find anything to do with the budgets, unfortunately. Do you think the second one had a higher budget? Yes, I do. I would say, the first one was popular, but it made some money, potentially, independently. Selling DVDs, possibly, I don't know. I don't know if it's seen in a more theatrical release. But yes, probably did have a higher budget and they knew what they were doing more.

I would say they took longer.

Just more prepared, just the whole thing.

Well, we say more prepared. They still didn't get any permits to film, but.

No, they probably didn't have any shorts.

But that's just cheaper, I guess. And they got away with it and they did it and.

I almost wanted to try and find one and send them a message. Can I chat to you? I just want not having ways to not feed your cast or crew and not get permits and not get insurance. Just intrigued. Did you have insurance? I'm so intrigued of your style because it's just like, it's crazy.

The actors in this are OK, but the main guy in it, Joseph Milson, the actor's name is, he's incredible. The rest of the cast are OK, but I've got a big issue, though, with this film and I'll get to it at the ending. There's one plot point I do not like, which we'll come to at the end. You might guess what it is, but we'll come to that, we'll come to that. I get it, but I'm just saying I don't like it.

Opening shot is a lovely, very small, just this man on one of those wind turbines, you know, ladies and gentlemen, a big fucking electrical fan, a fan making electrical from wind, obviously, a farm, loads of them. We pan out, we pan out, we pan out, we pan out to this little dot, essentially, it is the same engineer with this massive turbine farm in the background.

And then we're in a rural Indian village, there's local music playing, we get all these slow motion shots of people hanging up their clothes on lines.

Just does up the production value a bit, doesn't it, haven't it?

The vivid colors, the bustling sort of atmosphere, the vivid colors, you know, slow motion shots of people hanging up their laundry, just, it just looks beautiful. It just looks very Indian, you know, as Indian as you, when you think of India, this is what you see. We see a queue of people getting their wages. So these men have obviously been at work. They're in a line and someone's handing them their wages.

Very quickly, I don't know if you said it, cause I might have been thinking about my cough at the time. Did you speak about the gentleman, the wind turbine engineer? He has, he's up there and he can see all around it. It's got, this is quite music. He rings his girlfriend.

Well, you're jumping a little bit ahead. That's all. Cause none of that happens yet, yeah. Oh, okay, sorry. The opening scene is in a village and we see this family and all these people and then we cut to these workers getting their wages. And this is like the beginning of the outbreak cause one of them is very ill.

Yeah, and he must've been doing this, like for real.

Tom Cruise in it. It was Tom Cruise in it.

Yeah, he must obviously have done this before, I tell you.

He might be a climber, I guess.

It's quite a long way up. How long did it take to get out of there? He'd be exhausted. But I love the fact he makes a phone call to his girlfriend to chat to her. But it's that sort of thing. If it was me, I'd be like, guess where I am? What? Guess where I am? You're at work, you're up a wind turbine. I know, but I want to tell you, I'm up a wind turbine talking to you. Do you know how crazy that is? But I have to say it every time.

Well, he gets down from that wind turbine, jumps in his jeep and drives to a local gas station. He knows the gentleman that runs it. This is out in the middle of nowhere. So we're in rural India and he says hello to his buddy. He knows him and he says, look, we haven't had our delivery of gas gasoline today.

So he does see though, when he's up the wind turbine, he does see someone slowly walking on, attacking another person.

Yeah.

And he doesn't understand that though. No, no, cause you just said that. Oh, I thought you'd said, oh, he got down. Do apologize.

Yeah, he got, he gets down, he goes, and they set up the fact that he hasn't got much fuel in his truck.

But when he saw someone, he didn't go back up a turbine afterwards, does he?

Yeah, he goes back to another turbine. He then calls his girlfriend and says, she's like, oh, I'm pregnant. And he's like, what? Oh my God, this is amazing. But then she said, I've got to go. There's like something happening here in the background, some sort of riot. And he's like, what? That's weird. And then he goes up to the other turbine and he tries to bring in her again. And she gives him a bit more information. But again, there's loads of noise and he can't hear anything.

And he doesn't even know that she's obviously pregnant.

Oh, he does not know.

I really apologize about my throat. I'm really trying my best not to cough, guys. I do apologize. It's really croaky for some reason.

Yeah, croaky blokey. He calls her back, so Nick calls her back, and this time her father snatches the phone off her and he says, you will never see my daughter again.

It's a classic old school story, isn't it?

And then he says to her, like I said, forget this American dream that you've got. He doesn't want you. He just wants a fling. He wants a foreign girl, and then he wants to move on. You need to marry a local man, and that's kind of it, really. So there's a little bit of racism here. And while he's talking to her, there's a zombie attack outside. They don't know it's a zombie attack at the time.

It's like, you know, oh, saved by the bell. Oh, saved by zombies.

If it does, you don't understand. I'm, oh, what's that out there?

If there's any time a zombie attack happens, that's the perfect time.

He locks the door. He shuts the door, because he says, like, these people are, he doesn't know it's a zombie attack. He just sees violence. So he locks the door for them and their family. Nick radios his friend and his buddy says, there's reports of violence in the streets, Nicholas. What are you up to? Where are you? And he's like, well, I'm doing my wind turbine thing. You know where I am. I'm out all day, up these huge towers, fixing these turbines.

It is kind of asking, I don't think you sort of understand the situation. The guy's like, there's fucking loads of shit going on, basically, there's an aeroplane can get us out. Just so you know, now he said that later on.

He says that a little bit later on. Yeah, yeah.

But he does start to explain, there's a lot of shit going on. And he's trying to say, go visit my friend, go visit my girlfriend, see if you can. No, I've got loads of shit to do. I'm not going to just go do that.

He doesn't even know where she lives. He tells his friend, like, she lives on the edge of the slums. Oh, that's helpful. Do you know how big the slums are?

How long is this going to take me?

I don't even know her name, I haven't told her her name yet. So he's driving along, panicking, and he runs someone over. So there are a lot of parallels to the first one of this. He runs someone over. Oh my god, what have I done? He gets out. This person's still alive. I say alive, they're undead. They're under the car, reaching for him. He thinks, oh my god, what have I got?

At least that's another time when zombie, this is a great movie where human existence is appreciative of a zombie attack. Not often we have this, but what great timeings for zombie movies is great. Oh god, if I'm ever going to run someone over and kill them, that's really bad. Ah, luckily, it was a zombie.

Like in Shaun Of The Dead where they run the guy over and then they're like, are you all right? Are you okay? Oh god, it's just a zombie. It's all right. And then they just carry on driving. Now, his buddy, the gas station man, is sadly killed, attacked and killed by zombies.

Yes.

A little cut scene here. Nick is driving along, he sees more and more of the undead feasting. He kills one of them with a mallet, pulls a mallet out that he uses on the turbines.

The effects are the same as the other movie, if not probably a little bit better.

Hammer time.

AB, that would be the best song that they could have been playing in the car.

Yeah, it does. His car has run out of gas now, as we knew it was going to, so he sets off on foot to go and get a tank of petrol from the gas station. He gets there, it's deserted, there's blood everywhere, all over the walls. He sees his dead friend, a zombie lady attacks him. He hammers her.

Hammer time again.

Hammer time. He makes a phone call to Ashani and he says to her, look, I'll come to you. Stay home, stay safe, barricade yourself in. And her father turns around, this time he slaps Ashani. Is that the American? Slap across the face. That is not good, not good. So we got a lot more dynamics working in this one.

It's a real plot, a direct line we've got to get to and there's problems along the way. It's very, very, you know, it's good.

This is where he calls his buddy on the phone and his buddy says, hey, Nick, look, I can't do what you're asking, but I have got your seat on the last plane out of here.

Yeah, and you need to go crazy.

You've got to get here. Where's the plane? And it's so far away. He's like, I don't know if I'm going to get there. More and more zombies outside. He says to his friend, fuck it. I'm going to go rescue Ishani. He finds a gun, his buddy comes back from the dead. He has to shoot the guy that he buys petrol off of every other day. He gets surrounded. So he goes up to the roof, get a really cool overhead shot, not a drone shot, because this is 2013 or 2012, this probably would have been a shot.

Yeah, you can get, again, if they, I think I saw the same sort of camera. It's quite a handheld, not proper handheld, it's still a cinema camera, but more lighter than like a huge camera. So one person, the camera operator himself, which is the director again, could potentially just have a long sort of crane type tripod extended type job and do it like that. Do you know what I mean?

Well, Nick does a title Jackie Chan here now, cause he's up on the roof. And earlier his buddy was talking to him about this glider that he's got. And in one of the Jackie Chan movies, Jackie Chan escaped from a bunch of guys who are after him by jumping off a cliff, like a big hill with this thing on. Now essentially guys, what I'm describing to you is a huge propeller that you get on the back of one of those gliders on the Everglades, and a parachute.

It's got like a circumference of five feet, I'd say.

Yeah. And he jumps off the roof and you think he's gonna take off now and get away from these zombies. He crashes and he has to get, so it's like a kite. He has to get enough momentum to take off. So he's got to run past all these zombies who were clawing at him. It's quite a tense scene. And eventually he gets off the ground and then he starts flying through the air in this glider.

Again, though, they've got their main character. Just fucking just like, I've got nothing else to go for. I'm just gonna have to try. Straps on his back, not knowing it works. Goes to run off a building, not knowing it works. If it doesn't work, you've slowed yourself down, getting away from them zombies, that's for sure.

And again, this is survival horror game. You know, the first mission you would have to do is get this propeller thing and fly for a little bit.

Yeah, I thought game again, Resident Evil again, with this movie, exactly.

The sun starts setting, beautiful, absolutely beautiful shots here. And he crashes into a tree and he's left unconscious hanging from a tree. Parachute. Not the best indeed. Cut back to the city and we just get a very brief, you know, riot, screaming, blood, zombie attacks, death, fire, it's all kicking off in the cities. Not good. He's hanging from the tree bleeding and there's blood dripping on the floor. I guess it's attracting the zombies, would you say? I don't know.

I don't know. Maybe they can tell. Well, obviously, so how does a zombie work then? So it-

How does a zombie work then?

Well, I've never really broken it down with you, I don't think. So they-

Depends, you know, what type of zombie it is, isn't it?

Well, let's go to slow ones, which we're dealing with here. So they are, excuse me, they are fairly brain dead. They're very, very stupid. Are they just, because they go, obviously, if you can pretend to be a zombie, you can get away with it because they're that stupid. So it's not smell, it's not movement, it's if they think you're acting normal. But if they're just, he's just lying unconscious, he's not inactive at all. I don't know what is attracting the zombies to him.

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's the noise of the creaking in the tree or the blood dripping on the ground, I'm not sure.

Yeah, maybe because it is quite quiet. Maybe they can hear that dripping.

But a little boy escapes from some commotion and runs into the bush.

Yeah.

And Nick wakes up to the sound of this little boy shouting. So he cuts himself down from the tree. He gets one of the guns off one of the zombies. He runs off to save the boy. He's got a mission now, a little boy. Yeah, Ishani, back to Ishani's dad. He says, don't worry, the military are coming. Oh, look, there they are. I can see them at the window. The military get out of their van and they just start blasting everybody, whether they're dead or undead.

They don't care, just take them out.

They're just taking everybody out.

Essentially, that is what the military do though, aren't they? They get the orders, isn't it?

So he's like, oh shit, let's keep the windows and doors shut, Ishani. It looks like it might be going sideways out there. Now, Nick speaks to Javed. Javed reveals his name is Javed, this little boy, and they take a little walk. And this little boy is a bit like Short Ryan from Indiana Jones. He is determined to be Nicholas' sidekick. He's like, oh, listen, you're trying to get to Mumbai.

, listen, my friend, I can take you there. I know the whole of India, like the back of my hand. Obviously, I can get you anywhere to anywhere really quickly. Come on, come on, let's do it. He's an orphan, it turns out. Nick's like, I don't need you, just fuck off. He basically wants to leave this kid on his own in the middle of the forest. But the kid basically persuades him. He's like, okay, come with me then. And they do a bit of a walking montage now, everyone.

He pulled out his little horn. And that's not his penis.

That isn't a euphemism, no. They reach the military blockade. I love this scene. I love this scene. And we've seen this before where people are in a queue of cars and there's military up ahead. And at the last minute, they decide, nah, I'm not gonna do this. And they speed off in the other direction. But they watch these guys, these military, Indian military get on a bus, which is full of normal Indian civilians. And there's one woman on there or a man who's got like a bite. Get off the bus.

Yeah, got to be safe.

You just don't fuck about.

Yeah, we can't risk it, you know.

Nick thinks, fuck this, I'm not staying here. So he speeds off in the car. They shoot at them, but they do get away. But then the car ends up going off a cliff.

It's trying to get past the bus, doesn't it? Nick can't. It's a really tight road and the bus is like, I don't give a shit, I'm going. And just pushes his car off, which is, I guess because the panic of a zombie, the bus driver is like, I don't give a fuck. So the car gets no way and gets pushed off the cliff, but they get out.

I wish the buses in Bristol were better, like they are there, because they don't give a fuck here. They didn't care how long they take getting anywhere. But over there, they'll knock you off the road to get to where they've got to be. Yeah, so they've got no car. So they come across an old sort of ruined temple and a tomb that's just full of monkeys, basically. And they decide that they're going to have a little, have a look around in there, in this compound. There's bodies everywhere.

Yeah, it's like the first one when he sort of just walks past a zombie effect. It's kind of like, don't need to waste bullets, just keep going.

And we cut back to Ashani and her dad, and he's sort of saying to her, look, this is something we've heard about, and it's been taught in all religions and teachings. It's the end of the world, whether it's evil or not, it's some kind of judgment day. And the things that are going on out there are clearly some kind of evil in its purest form. We need to get through this as a family, we'll stick together and we'll get through this. But it's judgment day for mankind, essentially, he's telling her.

Earlier on, it was such a contrast when they did go back to the place where they fought the guns and stuff, that kid, and it's just birds singing and stuff. It was so nice just to have that peacefulness of the birds singing, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, and the monkeys just sort of sat there.

There's a moment in the film which the first one didn't have, and I wonder if when they wrote the script, it was like, you know, we have a moment here, a bit more peaceful, the birds are singing, they probably did. Well, no, they wouldn't, they're not getting fucking back to birdsing, are they?

Or acting monkeys.

Just be those shotters. But it just comes out with real, a moment of chill out, a bit more of like normality, like birds are swinging.

These are clever guys that use whatever falls in front of them, these four brothers.

I don't think, obviously it's just a happenstance that the birds are singing and doing like that. Good, you know what I mean? But I think it is, yeah, in the editing, they can look at it and go, boom, and it works perfectly as a peaceful away from zombies. Safety, you know, when the police turn up, and I'm always happy.

And that continues into this scene now, because they then stop in a forest and they pick some fruit from the trees and Jabad says, this was always my favorite fruit. You should taste it. And Nick tastes it. He's like, yeah, that's actually really good. And then they talk up, they learn more about each other's stories and they talk more. And then some bastard steals their motorcycle.

He doesn't go off very fast. You can definitely run after him.

Do you reckon?

Yeah.

Just grabbed him off the back.

If that's the only form of transport zombies, I'm behind you and I've pulled you off that back of that and I've given you a kick in.

Pulling me off.

I'm pulling you off.

Jesus. A really lovely moment here when they're walking on foot is there's all these fresh graves. And as they walk past one of them, one of them just starts slowly moving. So I guess that, you know, I'd love to have seen some undead coming back up out of the ground. Because you don't see that very often.

Should we make a zombie movie, make it old school?

Yeah, bury me in the ground and I will pop out the ground really slowly.

Do you know, in the past 10 years of making films, wherever, how many times I've had people say to me, if you make a zombie movie, I'll be a zombie. It's like, okay, it's like a lot.

Every time I tell anybody that a dead boy is making another film, I'll be a zombie. I'm like, who says we're making a zombie film?

We've never made a zombie.

We've written a zombie script.

Yeah, we never actually made one of those.

We never made it. So they get some sleep in this weird building. And this is a really creepy scene there where Javad is asleep and Nick's trying to get to sleep. And he's in and out of these horrible nightmares. And there's a zombie peeking through this slat of wood, isn't there? And his eyes are just pure white eyes, obviously. And it's just staring at Nick, obviously, like food. And every time he looks around, he's trying to get to sleep.

Because there is a resolve to this later on. Oh, I fucking hate it. And then that resolve is completely taken away two minutes later.

I agree. I despise that this one aspect of it.

Yeah, absolutely. That's pretty shoddy and should have been taken out in the second draft.

They get attacked on a railway track because Shabed says, there's two ways we can go. We can follow the railway track. It'll be really quick or we can go the really long way where it's gonna be safe. And obviously they want to take the shortcut.

Classic chestnut.

Yeah. So they do a stand by me and they follow the railway tracks. But he drops his comb. Oh no, sorry, that is stand by me. No, he, they get attacked and a helicopter out of nowhere. There's a fucking helicopter full of survivors. And Nick says, get to the chopper.

To the kid. And the kid gets to the chopper.

And he says, the Javed gets put on board and he's trying to get there, but it takes off. And he says, I'll find you, I'll find you. And that's quite a cool moment. Again, Joseph Milson, great acting in this. Cut back to Ashani and her father. And their mother is dying. And she's been bitten, it turns out. And she's talking to her mum. Mum, I know you're not going to be with us much longer. And her mum says, her mother always knows her daughter. And I know that you're pregnant.

Kind of wants to have some new life with zombies all around, don't you? So stop being a dick still. There's really bigger things to handle here.

And the last thing her mum says as she dies is, follow your heart. Cut back to Nick. He's following the railway tracks. As Jabba said, just follow these. He finds a crashed car. This is the best scene of all the British news.

If you haven't seen this movie, obviously we're spoiling it. And this scene's pretty powerful. This is up there with...

It is up there with the end of the mist.

And just for the power, actually, it's up there, I can't give you an example, up there with big, big movies, where it's just a certain saying happens in a movie, like, fucking hell, like, maybe like Full Metal Jacket when the dude commits suicide. You know, things like that. It's just a point in a movie, like, whoa, shit.

It's an incredibly powerful scene in a low-budget sequel.

Very well acted.

Yeah, very well acted. By everybody involved, not just the main guy, but the people in the car as well.

And this is what we talked about earlier. While they were trying to shoot this, which is a very full-on scene, a gang basically turned up and said, like, give us money or we're going to stone you to death. And they really pushed it. And they were saying to the directors, like, you fucking, like, they will not, you won't get out of here. They're going to stone you to death. You need to get the money and stuff like that.

They threatened to rape the men. They said, we'll find you, we'll rape you all. They threw a dog at one of the directors.

A live dog?

A dog.

That's at a different point where he's just walking through town. But you've got to remember this scene that we're about to talk about. The main actor has got all of these feelings. He must be exhausted as well. And all this shit going on, like we might get killed in it. He's got to go and shoot the film. Shoot this scene, so to speak. Excuse the pun. Dan, go on. Give us the scene.

So he comes across this car which has crashed and there's a family in the car. The dad is clearly dead. He's at the wheel of the car. It looks like he's dead. The mother and her daughter, probably about 8, 9, 10 years old, they're stuck in the car. They can't get out. The way the car is bent up, they cannot get out.

And zombies are approaching.

Yeah. Nick tries, you know, he sees them and he thinks, fucking out, okay, I'll try and help them.

You know, they're saying, please get us out of here, please.

He's trying his best. He thinks, by the time I've even got close to getting them out of here, the zombies will be on both me and them.

And you've got to remember, he might be a little bit more inclined to carry on what he's doing, but he knows if he does die, he can't save his girlfriend who's pregnant with his child.

So he says to the mum, I think I can get you out. The seat catch is jammed. I think I'm going to shoot the seat catch. It's going to be really loud noise. So I want you to both cover your ears and look down, and I'm going to shoot the seat catch and try and get you out. So they do that. They look down. He shoots the mum in the head.

Oh, is it the daughter first? He shoots the little girl first.

The mum looks right. The look on her face is incredible.

It's like a mother's in that situation.

I can see her eyes now in my head.

The look she gives, if that was a photograph, you would think it was actually happening. And it's the thing like, I thought you're going to... All of a sudden, there's so many emotions and feelings in one shot. It's like, I thought you're going to help us. You've shot my child. What the fuck?

Oh, you're going to shoot me? And then he shoots her as well.

It's like, my god.

And then he screams, he screams, fuck you! And he's screaming, screaming and screaming.

And you've got to remember, just off camera, there's a gang watching them, going to stone them.

A gang of like 12 guys who are going to stone them.

It's just like, what the shit? You know, like, and it's just, knowing that comes off so well.

I mean, that's how he pulled off some of the emotion and how they pulled off some of the emotion, I guess. I mean, I was pulling it off. But also, this scene, honestly, is up there with one of the most emotionally charged scenes of all time. I'm saying that.

Yeah, it upped this film more, from the first one.

Like I said, Alice watched this with me, and she was absolutely soul destroyed by it. She was like, I can't believe it. Why did he do it? And I was like, I paused it, and I was like, because, you know, if he didn't do it, they would have all died.

And I said to her, He's got his baby, he's got his mission.

I said, have you not seen The Mist? And she said, no.

And I said, Did you spoil it?

I told her the end. She wouldn't ever watch it. I told her the end of that. And she's like, oh my God.

I was like, yeah. See what's like in the first time you watch it.

I said to her, if you ever Google the most downbeat ending of all time, usually The Mist is usually number one. People will talk about horror movies or not.

I showed that to Charlie when we watched The Mist. And they were just like, what do you mean?

I haven't watched it since I've become a dad.

Yeah, I think it's because I'm a parent.

Sit with me now.

But I wasn't a parent when I watched it for the first time, I think. Maybe.

But yeah, this scene is absolutely incredible, guys. And the best scene out of both of these movies comes out of nowhere. It's real visceral emotion.

It's gnarly.

And he's notably upset.

And then the thing is, though, a normal film, he might commit suicide himself. Shoot himself from something like that. But he's got a mission.

He's got his baby. It's a shiny and his baby. So he's hot. He's thirsty and he's tired. And he's stumbling along.

How many zombies were coming out? Can you just shot the zombies?

It's quite a few of them. Good sort of dozen of them, perhaps.

I suppose shooting those is going to attract more, isn't it? Yeah.

And also, like, exactly. They're all going to get eaten. At the very least, people in the car would have had a horrible death and then become zombies themselves. So he's like, well, I'll just save them. Get into here, really. So he's stumbling along. He starts hallucinating about this chair in a room, which is a bit weird because that's the chair he ends up in in the room.

It's the bicycle thief.

You bastard. So he goes to take the keys out of the pocket. Obviously, the guy is still alive. Well, undead.

But he realizes what's happened, doesn't he? His kids have eaten him. This dude's got nixed his bike to get back to his family and his kids are just fucking eating him.

Yeah, he's gone back to his family. I've got a motorbike. This has been to... Oh, you're all zombies.

Yeah.

Because I think his guts are hanging out or something, aren't they? Yeah. So yeah, he grabs his motorbike.

I suppose as parents, you provide the food.

I put the food on this table. My own intestines.

Dark.

You're the one that was talking about laser beaming babies with your eyeballs earlier.

I was thinking I should have said it as in like an old lady walking a dog pushing a baby in a pram. And I was just fucking lasing them out.

You are getting us cancelled. This is the last podcast episode ever because we're getting cancelled.

The last podcast.

He gets on the motorbike. We get a montage of him riding along and he gets to the slums. Really great shot here of him riding his motorcycle through the really narrow slums. Don't know they did this without permits. Probably some of these people were thinking, who the fuck is this British guy on a motorcycle riding at me? They did this in a Will Smith movie called Gemini Man. I don't know if you've seen that where he's riding a motorcycle through really narrow streets being pursued.

It's not saxophone.

It's not saxophone. Her dad realizes, okay, wow, this guy is genuine. He's fought his way here. So he shakes his hand. Nice moment.

There's a zombie attack outside. Thank you. Great. You joined family. Excellent. Help us.

So they leave in slow motion.

They leave in normal speed, but it's been edited since slow motion. They don't go, whoa.

Goodbye.

See you later. You'll be a good dad.

I'm sorry I've been bitten.

Zombies would be really, really slow.

Really slow. You could just walk around them.

Run round them. How many steps have you done today? It's not steps anymore. It's 10 times round a zombie.

If we were in a zombie epidemic and it was like Romero zombies like this, I'd be tripping them over. I'd be like having little gags on them.

You know what I mean? Let's just play loads of fucking tricks on them. It's like they kind of do as Sean did the first zombies in the garden. They're throwing stones at them and stuff like that. It's kind of like that. But I would definitely be like, if they're zombies, let's do some trip wires.

I'd like to get behind all the man and these and push them over me, you know?

It'd be so bad, but we'd have so much fun with zombies.

Oh, we're nasty, aren't we?

Not really. They're the living dead. Maybe they have some entertainment album.

Yeah, I'd definitely be doing pranks on them.

I'll tell you what I'd do zombies. I would do like the wind turbines. I would do them like hamsters in a wheel and I'd get them to provide energy.

I'd do them like hamsters in a wheel, he says.

Like Richard's Gear. I'd have a load of zombies just go around in a circle, just providing energy. I know it's slow, but you'd work out the technology. Elon Musk come along, make out technology using zombies to energize the world. I think it's good. I think bring on zombies. I think bring on zombies. We are ready for it to help us get away from all this nuclear fusion.

Gab's speech, everyone. Jamie, I hope you're proud of what you've done here. Yep.

Oh, we should carry on.

So, they get to Mumbai and they find this huge building and part of the city really cordoned off that's got loads and loads and loads of survivors in it. He gets there, he says to Ashani, I've got some seats on a plane, but there's something I need to do. I've got a promise to keep. So he walks in and he's shouting, Javed, Javed, Javed. And eventually Javed is there. He gets up, he drops his teddy. He runs over to Nick.

He says, lucky he finds him. It's quite a nice poignant moment.

This is great. All this. This is great. He says, this is Ashani and he says, wow, I can see why you fought your way to find her. Are you hitting on my girlfriend, you little shit? But then the bit happens that I hate, which is he's dropped the teddy bear and some random woman in the crowd looks at the teddy bear and thinks that was a teddy bear I made 12 years ago from my kid that I didn't want.

Oh, the teddy bear must be my child.

What a fucking coincidence. I don't need to have that in this film. Oh, it's just ridiculous.

This is funny enough is like a Hollywood exact going. This is do you know what you need?

You need a teddy bear kid. Because what happened in this movie?

It doesn't matter though, because what happens in me, they're all fucking dead.

Well, then, thankfully, the next scene is incredible, which is all these fighter jets fly over.

And they've been told what to do.

And Jabba says, Oh, the Americans are here, the rescue jets. And he says, those don't like rescue jets to me. And then they realize, oh shit, they're going to bomb everybody. And the building starts getting bombed while they're inside it. Again, great effects with the jets. And the way the building is shaking, falling apart. So everyone starts running to take cover. So Nick, Ashani and Javed head downstairs to like an underground room.

That's the end.

I've written the end. Pretty bleak.

Yeah, pretty bleak.

Pretty fucking bleak. He didn't have a good day, did he? He shot a mum and her daughter in a car.

No, it's a really bleak movie.

Gave a little kid a lift and a motorbike for a bit. And then...

It does achieve getting to his girlfriend. He does achieve his goal.

Whether or not they survive is another question.

But yeah, it's a lot better and tighter film. And if it kind of flows a bit better, and like I said, geography just gets different. It just works a lot better.

How long is it? It's...

The other one is like hour 45.

Yeah, this is an hour 38. So it's not much shorter, but it feels a lot shorter because it's quite punchier. And we have moments to catch our breath. It doesn't feel samey. Great characters. I love Javed as well.

Tighter and more organized.

Yeah. Great movie. And that scene, guys.

That scene is very like, whoa.

If you've not seen either of these, you can skip the first one even like Gav said earlier. And you can just watch this movie and prepare for that scene. It's a gut punch.

It's a better film, the second one.

I'm looking now as we're talking.

So Frank Grillo, isn't he?

And the trailer. And he just looks like an action hero. You know, he's not. He's not muscly, but he's he does.

The the it's the guy next door.

Yeah, yeah, badass. I love this movie. And because of that, this gets a higher rating for me. And it's more recommended out of the two.

Yeah, I agree. And thanks, Jamie, because I wouldn't have seen this because I didn't know this existed.

There we go.

And yeah, and hopefully some other listeners will now listen to and check it out as well, which presumably you guys will.

And as Jamie wanted, you know, we've talked in great detail about all the problems that went on behind it and just, you know, I think our big takeaway from both of these is you cannot say these guys didn't pour their hearts and souls into making these two films.

They literally just got their testicles out and slapped on the table and said, we're making a movie.

Hammer these as hard as you can with baseball bats.

It doesn't matter because we're making a movie.

We're going to camera making the film.

We've hammered testicles. Anyway.

Is that the name of a band?

Hammer testicles.

And who are you going to see tonight? I've got tickets for hammer testicles. It's the Vincent Price Tribute Band.

Vincent Price? It's got to be punk though. Hammer testicles.

Jamie, we love you lots, but I'm afraid it's time to remove the crown.

It is time.

Place it back into the vault.

The cupboard.

I hope you do provide us with some werewolf movies the next round. Next time it's your go, but you don't have to. There's no pressure. You are the werewolf lady, of course. Not literally.

But what ones? What ones? You don't know though if she isn't a werewolf lady, because she likes werewolf movies a lot. There's a chance that she is actually werewolf, but we don't know because why would we know? It's not like she podcasts when she's changed.

What if her and Brian, her husband, are actually werewolves?

Like a howling thing going on.

Yeah, and they just podcast to cover up.

I don't mean not the sexy scenes.

And it's all a cover up.

That's weird, that movie in it.

The old sex scene. Which bit?

Werewolf sex.

I think the weirdest bit is that little gremlin she turns into at the end and goes, the camera.

But yeah, maybe they're, Jamie and Brian are werewolves.

If you are, please don't tell us. I'd want it to remain a mystery.

It's better, it's more of a conversation piece with Dan and I.

We like to believe that you are.

Werewolf, their wolf.

Their castle. That was The Dead 1 and The Dead 2 India. Bit of a crap title, but a fucking amazing film in some ways. And both great films in a lot of ways. So thank you, Jamie. It's time for us to say goodbye. So we're going to have a little break. Come back to the outro. We're back to say goodbye. And again, thank you, Jamie, for those two picks. It's great. These Patreon picks, you know, always come up with stuff that we wouldn't normally discuss.