The Friday Nightmares Podcast: The Episode 105

Hello, and welcome to the 105th episode of The Friday Nightmares Podcast. Today on Friday Nightmares Podcast, Scottie and I try to find a new way to record now that Skype no longer is a service provider. So that's been its horror movie within itself. But my name is Heather Powell. I am one half of The Friday Nightmare Podcast, and I am coming to you today from Waterdown, Ontario, Canada.

And with me, as always, Mr. Smoke Show Crawford, coming to you from the town of Swartz Creek, in the county of Genesee, in the state of Michigan, in the United States of America, in the North American continent, in the Western Hemisphere, on the planet Earth, in the Milky Way Galaxy. Fully vaxxed, boosted and waxed, and ready to climax. And if you can, please get me wet and feed me after midnight.

That's so kind and just so descriptive. What more do you need to know?

Yeah, well, it's beautiful because since Jaden loves to call me bald, Erika bought me this shirt that says I'm not going bald. I'm just getting more head.

That's pretty funny. You see, that's wife material right there.

Exactly. But yeah, this whole freaking Microsoft Teams bullshit. Screw you, Microsoft. Skype was easy and you could do it for free, and now you got to do this premium bullshit, and this is dumb.

Yeah. So spoiler behind the scenes. We tried Teams, didn't work, because you have to have a premium account. And then we went into Google because I was like, okay, it says you can record on Google Meets, and of course you have to preview and count, but luckily it gives you a 31-day trial. So this may be the last episode ever of Friday Nightmares Podcast.

Yeah, because we love recording, but we didn't invest in money, come on now.

We made $15 a month.

So I'm still using the same freaking headset that I bought when we first started this podcast, we're crying out loud.

Yeah, we're not like big budgets like the Dummies of Horror Podcast, you know what I mean?

You know, they are the beef wellingtons of horror podcasting, so you know, obviously they are rich and have so much money because you got to be a rich person to be able to have people...

Well, we don't ask for handouts in Patreon. Let's just put it that way, Scott. We're hardworking, hand jobs. That's true. We're like, oh no, we don't want money, we just want sexual gratification. So we'll try to figure out Discord. That will be, I think, the hot thing that all the young kids are doing. And so these two elder millennials will somehow figure out how to use Discord in the next 30 days, which can't be that hard. AI this now, we can Google AI.

I mean, yeah, I'll say, like, I have Discord for my gaming laptop. And correct me if I'm wrong, Tim, but I think that's what you and Luffy are using now to record. I'm not sure, but yeah, I use Discord on very rare occasions when I played online with my buddies when I was playing Magic. And it's a mess trying to figure out things out for me. Like maybe it's because I'm old and technologically, just not with it, but yeah, I was confused trying to figure out my way around that damn site.

We're like, why can't things be simple like they were back in the day of Skype?

Yeah, back in my time, you know. I don't care that there was all these porn bots constantly trying to call me, God.

It gave us attention. It made Scotty and I feel like someone cared.

Exactly.

Well, we'll get right into the movies. I do have my nephew today who naps like a boss. So I just put him down for nappies because I didn't think he would care about the horror movie podcast. We're going to go watch Serbian film later, of course. Of course.

Of course, solo as well.

I figure we may as well. I don't know. What's some martyrs?

Yeah, dead girl.

Yeah, you know what I mean? Just get a little nice taster of Winnie the Pooh blood and honey just so he knows how fucked up his aunt is early on. Absolutely. So we'll jump right into it. It's been a while. It might be even longer before I figure out how to record stuff. So, yeah, I'm going to figure out, try to figure out Discord, too. And maybe together we can bring our powers together.

Yeah, with our powers combined, we might figure out Discord.

Right. Though I do think Facebook can record stuff, too. So I'm going to look into Messenger as well. Anyway, I don't know, this kind of just sums up the year. Maybe it's a sign because these movies haven't been great. There's been a handful of very good films I have seen, I will say. Or films that were just really good because they touched me in special places.

I like it when I'm touched in special places.

But it has been a year. It has been a year. Maybe it's a sign.

Right. Good God.

So we'll start off with, I'll start off with the first one on our list. The Woman in the Yard. This is a, I don't know, also known as the Babadook.

Oh, pretty much.

Anyway, don't let her in. It's a tagline for this one. In the aftermath of her husband's death, Widow Ramona struggles to raise her two kids, is hindered by the arrival of mysterious woman with supernatural abilities. This wasn't a horrible film by any stance of the imagination. It was very much a paint by numbers film. I see you gave it two and a half stars. I think that's a very fair rating.

Yeah. It's basically Blumhouse trying to be A24.

Yes.

A little too little too late. Like we've been there, done that. Like Erica and I both kind of called what was happening.

Oh, yeah, it was pretty easy. Like in the first ten minutes, you were like, and this is the movie. I will say the main character, Daniela's dead wilder performance is excellent. I think she is a great actress. I think she prepares the role well. Actually, I didn't have a beef with any of the acting in this.

No, neither did I.

It was just the story was dumb.

Yeah, it was dumb and it just, yeah, it's been been done before. Like it's almost like paint by numbers exactly like some of the other movies we've seen. Like it's yeah, and obviously like slashers are all paint by numbers, but they add something. This was just it just felt like it was a copy and paste.

Like this was like, oh, Boba Duk was too much for you. You didn't feel like watching it. Here you go. It's the same film only shorter and less metaphors. Exactly. But you know what? It was a simple, easy watch. It filled a void. I don't think it's going to get like a worst of the year. I don't think it deserves that. I think it understood its assignment and was less than 90 minutes long. So give you credit for that film. But yeah, definitely, it wasn't, I don't know. It's what you would expect.

Oh, 100%.

Right? But this next one you just saw.

Yes, I did. So Erica and I just sat down on Friday night and watched Until Dawn, which has 103 minute runtime every night, a different nightmare. One year after her sister Melanie mysteriously disappeared, Clover and her friends head into the remote valley where she vanished in search of answers. Exploring an abandoned visitor center, they find themselves stalked by a mass killer and horrifically murdered one by one, only to wake up and find themselves back at the beginning of the same evening.

And you know what? I'll take what I can get, Scotty.

They're right. Yeah, right. Especially this year. Jesus Christ.

Like I'm like a hungry, hungry dude at the bar. That's just like anyone will do. Anyone with a heartbeat. Anyone with a heartbeat. So we're, oh, I never even said where you could find Woman in the Art. It's available on like Google and Centiplex and YouTube if you decide that you want to rent it. Both Scotty and I didn't love it. So we obviously don't think it's worth the price. But what about this one? Where can we find this one?

This one actually just became available to buy and rent this week on Apple TV, Google Play, Amazon Video, Fandango at Home, and YouTube.

And you recommend it?

Yes, I highly recommend it. I had a lot of fun with this one. And I think when you watch it, you'll have fun with it, too.

I will like it. I already know I'll enjoy it. The next one, I'm so glad that you went next, because I watched this movie so long ago that I forgot until I really thought about it. I'm like, oh, yes. So this movie is live streamed. As a team, it's Scott's favorite, social media influencers. He loves them, actually. It's his favorite genre of films. I love that. My favorite. This is why Skype ended, because Scott doesn't like social media influencers. They targeted Scott specifically. They did.

Shocking. Influencers that are obnoxious. No.

And like, they're supposed to be obnoxious, right? But it was fine. You know, I will say it captured my attention for the 91 minutes. The plot moved pretty quickly. You know, basically, they go out to this house and it turns out, it's not supposed to be a haunted house. It's just supposed to be a place they're chilling in the woods kind of for the weekend. And then things do not go as planned. And I did enjoy it. For what it was worth, I thought that it was a quality film.

And see, I am torn, because I am a found footage aficionado completionist, but I hate social media. So it's like, I'm going to watch it, and I'm probably going to hate it.

And the thing is, we get screeners from our friends. So it's a little bit of a different situation. But for the other folks out there, I would say only watch this if found footage, and social media influencers are your thing.

Good to know.

Yeah, yeah. Did you watch this next one?

I did not.

Oh, okay. So as I was watching this, I'm like, oh, that looks like it was filmed in Hamilton. Oh, yes. Yes, the whole thing was filmed in Hamilton and the most shady rundown areas, which gives you an idea. This felt like a made-for-TV film. Anyway, it's called It Feeds. Well, Ashley Graham's in it. That gives it away, does it not? Who is she?

I recognize that name.

She was in a lot of TV movies and shit in the 90s and 2000s and shit. So anyway.

I recognize her, but I can't picture her.

It's okay. It's okay. It Feeds. A clairvoyant therapist confronts her own personal demons while trying to save a young girl who believes a malevolent entity is feeding on her. Sean Astin Moore is in this movie, and I'll be honest, he's the highlight of this movie. I really like Sean Astin Moore. He's a Canadian actor, and he definitely had the acting chop set of everyone in the movie. Any kind of place like an anti-protagonist, so you can kind of get behind him.

Right.

And I think he sums it up. This is literally the most generic horror film out there. Everything about it screams mediocracy. And I think that Matt has hit it right on the money there. It's not bad, but it's also not good. It's literally Mr. Midway. I don't know, Matt, you took the words right out of my mouth, baby. That is exactly what I would say. So unfortunately, this is not another movie that's available on Tubi. It's only available for rent.

Well, if you tell Rob, don't watch it, he will watch it and then blame you for making him watch it. That's how he rolls.

He's already pretty mad at me for other things. So I don't want to add to the fire.

I'll continue adding to the fire.

You can add to the fire. So that's It Feed. And I'm excited for the next one because I haven't had a chance to watch this yet. So I really want to hear your thoughts.

All right. So yeah, the next one is a Shudder exclusive. We got a chance to watch this one last weekend. But it is The Ugly Stepsister. Tagline is, If the shoe doesn't fit. In a fairy tale kingdom where beauty is a brutal business, Elvira battles to compete with her incredibly beautiful stepsister and she will go to any length to catch the prince's eye.

I feel like that's my life with Erica and you. Like I'm competing against you. And at the wedding, it's my last shot.

Don't worry. I was like, you already stole Erica's heart, Heather.

I was like, Erica, which dress do you like more that you want me to wear? She's like, Heather, just pick one. I'm like, no, Erica. What do you like?

Sorry. It's so true.

Anyway, continue. I didn't mean to interrupt.

Oh, you're right.

I didn't mean to interrupt.

Yes, I thought I was funny. I mean, plus this is our dynamic.

Yeah, this is.

But yeah, The Ugly Stepsister is obviously a telling of the Cinderella story, but from the perspective of the quote unquote ugly stepsister. And this is, you know, basically a movie about beauty standards and kind of being body shamed for how you look because you don't stand out as one of the gritty girls and blah, blah, blah. And you just, I say the, it's a Norwegian or Finnish film, I believe, so it is subtitled. But I'd say the actress that plays Elvira, Leah Mirren, does an amazing job.

So what, should I watch it?

Yes, I was just going to say, I do recommend this. I think this was good. It might be a little long in the tooth, but it is very good. I would say it's possibly a contender for my top 10. I really enjoyed it. I was actually hooked from the very beginning and the, like I said, the acting all around, amazing.

Nice. Hey, that's a good sign.

And yeah, this one is available on Shutter, and I definitely recommend it, and it kind of fits along with our new award that we got going on with the whole public domain character movies that we're going to have.

Excellent. You know what? I'm here for it.

I know you are.

I'm here for it. I'm going to watch it. And it's just on the Shuddy, right?

Yep, on Shutter.

Okay. You know, Shutter's at least bringing it. Thank you, Shutter. You're trying. You're bringing some different stuff.

Yeah, exactly.

There's this movie called Dead Mail.

Oh, boy.

Okay. An anonymous help note finds its way to a 1980s post office connecting a dead letter investigator to a kidnapped keyboard technician. Yes, that sounds as boring as it is. This movie is a 3.2 rating. Matt also talked about how boring this movie was. It's 106 minutes. It's available on Shutter. It's a Shutter original, I think, but it's also available on Apple TV. This movie was really, really smart.

Yes.

And you know, you got to be into that kind of thing to like that kind of film. And this kind of reminded me of that only not as good as something that Oz Perkins would do. And I don't know, if you like really slow burns and a lot of dialogue and 1980s aesthetic, this movie is for you. I don't suggest you watch it, Scott.

Yeah, it does not sound like anything I would be interested in.

No, it's just it's, you know, if this was 2020 and we had nothing else to do, I'd be like, sure.

Right.

Sure. But, you know, we have lives now. So, yeah. Oh, I feel like it just doesn't fall into the criteria.

Especially with me, when it takes me about three to four hours to finish an hour and a half long movie.

This is maybe that would it would take you out. But if anyone does want to see it and they're into what I talked about, it is available on the Shutter, Apple TV, and of course, AMC Plus. Did you watch Screamboat?

I sure did.

Nice. Let's hear your thoughts on Screamboat.

All right. So yeah, Screamboat has 102-minute runtime. A scream is a wish your heart makes. A late night boat ride turns into a desperate fight for survival in New York City when a mischievous mouse becomes a monstrous reality. So this has been one that I've been super excited to see because it's David Howard Thornton playing Steamboat Willie. And it's, you know, David Howard Thornton as Art the Clown, and the way he does his expressions in mime style. So I was looking forward to it.

I think you said everything I needed to say, literally, ditto. Like, what you said sums up exactly my thoughts going into it, how I felt watching it. Yeah, it was much longer than it needed to be.

Yeah, and like I was saying, when you don't have characters to be invested in and root for besides the killer himself, which can be fun for a short period, but like when it's drug out like that long, you just don't have like that much to connect to and you just lose interest.

A hundred percent, you know, but if you, I don't know, I have a hard time recommending renting this. I really do.

Yeah, I'd say like a $2.99 rental at most.

Yeah, like it's available Apple TV, Amazon, Fandango. Maybe wait till this is on 2B. Eventually, it's going to be on 2B. Just wait. You don't need to see it this year.

Yeah, don't rush out.

Yeah, like it was a disappointment. I agree with you. Yeah, did you see Freelance?

I did not.

OK. So Freelance. So this one came out last year, Film Festival. It's been picked up for wide release this year. It's not paranoia if it's real. When a down on her luck video editor takes on a mysterious well-paying job cutting snuff films, she is haunted by the visions of people in her videos. So the interesting thing about this is that you're not sure at first if the snuff films are real or not real.

What about the pool guy and pizza guy? That's not real?

That's apparently not how you play for pizzas, because I've tried and they consist on money. I know, they're like, look man, things are hard. Can you just give me the fucking money? So I really do think this is a unique concept. It's not a found footage film, which I appreciated. I thought that that was kind of a nice change. I wasn't sure if they were going to do more of like a found footage from this, but they didn't. I do think it's interesting. I do think it's worth a watch for you, Scott.

All right. Yeah, that's sound interesting.

Yeah, I would say watch it if you have the time.

All right. Sweet. Yeah, I'll definitely do that. What is the next one? All right. The next one is me because you have not watched this show. I have not. So Netflix just dropped on Friday, which would have been May 22nd, I want to say. Fear Street Prom Queen. So the next Fear Street movie in the series and based off the Prom Queen book, Winning Just Might Be the Death of You. Who Will Be Voted Queen at Shadyside High's 1988 Prom?

Thank you, Millie. Thank you.

Yeah. This was a lot of fun. This went back to the like 80s style. It has the 80s music. Like, you know, remember how I was making fun of like Yeah. your screen about how it always like, hey, you remember this song? You remember this song? You remember this song? This has it, but it seems like they kind of toned it back a little bit and only had it like majority of it at like the prom, which made sense. And but yeah, it was based in the 80s.

Okay. So check it out on Netflix if you have it.

Yes, highly recommend. This was a very fun slasher.

I'm excited to hear this because Netflix doesn't always released a lot of good domestic stuff.

Yes.

So it's nice to hear that that's come out of Netflix. That's good news.

Yeah, this is if you like the other Fear Street movies, I think you'll dig this one.

Excellent. I may watch it tonight. Did you see this one, Hell of the Summer?

I started it. I have not finished it.

Okay. So I'll be careful with how much I talk about it then. Finn Wolfhard is the director behind this along with Billy Break. Take your body bags. When 24-year-old Jason Hochberg arrives for the counselor weekend and his beloved camp hideaway, his biggest problem is feeling out of touch with his teenage coworkers. Little does he knows, a mass killer has murdered the camp owners, John and Kathy, and is preparing to strike again. So this is very much like a throwback to Camp Slashers.

Oh, jeez, that's not good.

But generally speaking, I did find it entertaining. I did find it cool as a little slasher. I know Tim didn't like it. He thought that the story was bland and the kills were off screen and not creative. Yeah, I think that's a fair critique. I liked the beginning probably the most in some of the dialogue I did think was kind of funny, and it kind of picked up towards the end, but it was definitely kind of mediocre.

Okay, I kind of figured.

Yeah. The next one. Did you see this?

Yes, I did.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay. Do you want to talk about it?

Yeah, I'll bring this one in. Okay. So this one is a drop with a 95-minute runtime. Everyone's a suspect. Violet, a widowed mother on her first date in years, arrives at an upscale restaurant where she is relieved that her date, Henry, is more charming and handsome than she expected. But their chemistry begins to curdle as Violet begins being irritated and then terrorized by a series of anonymous drops to her phone. Um, yeah, this was very just okay.

Because he must really want to get laid. Jesus.

Yeah. But I found like the acting to be fine. There was it. The story was ridiculous. And a lot of the plot did not make sense with what's going on. And like, wasn't very feasible. But yeah, it just, it was, it was a way to pass the time that evening. That it didn't overstay its welcome. I will give it that, the 95-minute run time. It went by rather quickly. I was watching and wasn't completely bored. So, you know, like I say, it's in that mediocre middle of the line.

Yeah, I feel like you took the words right out of my mouth. This, I was annoyed with her.

Yeah.

Like, come on. And it was so, it was so Blumhouse. It was so Blumhouse.

I keep forgetting it was Blumhouse.

Like, it was so over-the-top sensational. And yes, was it entertaining and turn-off-your-brain fun? Sure.

100%.

You gotta be in turn-off-your-brain fun to watch this movie.

Yes.

Because it makes no sense. It, like, and then, like, the ending, how she all of a sudden is this badass. You know what I mean? Yeah. Stupid fucking diehard shit. That's not Bruce Willis, so it doesn't work. This is 2015. But hey, you know what? It filled a hole for 93 minutes, and it was entertaining enough.

And I love it when my hole gets filled.

Right. Right. So, yeah.

Like, I'm glad I didn't go to theatre to see this. I would have been pissed.

Me too. I would have been. But I kind of knew it. I'm like, this doesn't look good. I'm only going to theatres to see this if, like, I'm super bored and I need something to do. So anyway, if you like, that's very, I don't know, this would be a great horror film to show someone who's actually liked action movies. You would probably like this, and they're in, like, paint-by-number action movies. It's on Amazon, Apple TV, Google Play, Amazon, Cineplex here in Canada.

Yeah, it is mediocre at its finest.

Right. So yeah. I'm assuming you haven't seen Uncontained.

Nope. That's another one I've seen.

Oh, you have?

Yes. Speaking of mediocre.

Yes. That's a great way to describe this one too. Do you want to bling it in? Sure. So I think I've watched more than you, right?

You might have. I don't know. Uncontained. It's got a 99-minute runtime. In the wintry forests of North America, a mysterious drifter struggles to protect an abandoned boy and his little sister from an infection that turns people into a feral-like state. I'm trying to remember a lot of this. I remember the first, I'd say, 30 to 40 minutes, I was intrigued.

That is, again, I feel like you're taking the words out of my mouth today. I was so hopeful at the beginning.

Yeah, like, started off real strong.

Yeah, like, I thought it would be really, really interesting. And then it got weird.

Yeah.

Like, if they had just continued in the Choo Choo Train route that they were on, then it would have been much better.

Yeah, when the mother shows up.

Yeah, like, and then it went kind of fucking weird. And I agree with you. It's a shame because there was a lot of potential here. Especially with the route they were kind of taking with like a post-apocalyptic world.

Yeah.

Right. But it was, I don't know, it ended up just being odd and not making a lot of sense. I don't even know who would... Like, it's only available from rent from the usual suspects, Apple TV, Google Play, YouTube. Who would you recommend this to?

No one.

Yeah, I guess that's a fair statement. I really would agree with you.

I can't think of anyone that would care for this. Like, it might get Tim's attention kind of like us for the first half, because it involves kids.

Yeah.

But I think after that, he'd just be like, fuck it. So Tim, if you watch this, let us know. But it's called Uncontained.

Yeah. It definitely was.

Yeah. No bueno.

The next one, though, was, I don't know. I was also disappointed by this movie.

Really? Oh, man.

Like, why does Paul Rudd keep getting work? I'm sorry. Like, he was so miscast in this.

Yeah, I could see it.

Fuck. And him and Jenna Ortega. Oh, my God. Oh, thank God for who was it. I think that Will Poulter, all right. Like fucking thank God for Richard E. Glant and Tia Leone. Like to me, they made it bearable. We're talking about death of a unicorn. Payback is a beast. A father and a daughter accidentally hit and kill a unicorn while en route to a weekend retreat, whereas billionaire boss seeks to exploit the creatures. Miracle-ist creative properties. First of all, I love that it was unicorns.

Well, according to Tim, he thinks that she looks way too young.

Sure, and that's fine. I get that. But I don't know. It was fine. Sorry, go ahead.

I was like, it's funny. Your reaction to this is complete opposite of mine.

Well, I enjoyed the unicorn piece of it, and I enjoyed the story. I'll be honest, I enjoyed the story, and I enjoyed everyone but Paul Rudd and Jenna Ortega. I enjoyed everybody but them. I wish they had cast other people for this role, because otherwise, I really like this movie. And I will definitely say I recommend it to people, because I think it's a lot of fun. And I think Will Poulter is fucking awesome in it. I think he's funny. I think he's a great antagonist. I think he's fucking great.

Yeah, see, I didn't hate them in their roles, but also they didn't bring anything special to the table, Paul Rudd or Jenna Ortega. They were just kind of the, we're here characters. The names to sell the movie, basically. But yeah, I was laughing throughout most of this, because like you said, Will Poulter, fucking great, and this nailed his role. The Unicorns were badass looking. A little too CGI in some aspects, but this was one of those where I just had a lot of fun with it again.

That's the thing, right? And I just don't feel like Paul Wright was, I don't think he's a good actor. I'm sorry. I don't, I don't-

He plays the same character over and over again.

Yeah, like I just didn't get the point, but I did love the Unicorn story, and I loved watching Unicorns fuck people up.

Yeah, I love the aspect of them changing color, would be pissed and stuff like that.

Totally, like all that shit I loved. Like, just to be clear, a big part of this movie I loved, but I felt like the two leads really took me out of it at times.

And that can have a big effect if the two main leads are taking it out for you.

Yeah, yeah. And I think that's why I was so disappointed a little bit, because I was really excited, because I love Unicorns, I love the myth of them. Like, I had Unicorn posters all over my bedroom as a kid, still do as an adult, just kidding.

I got a Unicorn tattoo on my ass.

Oh, nice. See, there you go. And Erica's like, that's the man I'm going to marry. So, but yeah, I think it's worth watching, definitely. Like, I think it's worth the rental. It's on all, like, Amazon, Apple TV, Plex, Cineplex, like, in Canada, Cineplex. Definitely check it out. I don't think people will be disappointed. Like, I'm sure no one will hate Paul Wright as much as I did, or Jenna Ortega. I just found them so flat. Just so flat. No chemistry.

Yes, the butler was my favorite character.

Like, Jesus, everyone but them made the movie good. I'll be honest.

Yeah, that's fair. That is a fair critique.

So the next one is... Have you seen this next one?

For fuck's sake, yes, I have.

Did you really? Well, I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Okay. Well, this movie is called Don't Peek.

Don't Watch.

Don't Watch. We won't be long with this one. A professional YouTubeing couple whose career is starting to fray their marriage, which they record everything as their marriage is falling apart, which doesn't make a lot of sense.

Yeah.

Could you be that obsessed with YouTube anyway? Because I've seen YouTube couples or Facebook couples that make their money off of being a couple. You usually don't see the bad shit. They're usually pretty filtered with that. But anyway, they grapple how to leverage discovery that the previous owner of their new home was not only a serial killer, but taped his crimes, but also believed his victims were haunting him.

Without knowing how to fucking-

Yes. Write a movie.

Well, write a movie and without knowing how to edit your sound design to not crackle and blare out your speakers when the antagonist is there. Like when the antagonist has his video, oh my god, that was grating to my ears, because it's like ten times louder than the couples. And then it had like that staticky, I don't know if it was just our copy that we had or what, but god, sound design was awful and made it just horrible to listen to.

I could not agree more.

The characters were dumb, the villain was dumb, this was just dumb all the way. I just did not have fun. There is our friend Esme Gray, which is our friend Jason Gray, who has came out and said that he prefers to be called Esme.

Oh, very nice.

They prefer or she. I'm not sure the pronouns of me, I'm sorry if it's she or they, but let me know. I want to be respectful. I appreciate that. But I noticed they had a good time with it. But yeah, this was not something that...

Esme would go into this movie and would get it better than we would and would look at it as a great entry-level found footage. And Scott and I are just tired and we can't use Skype.

Yes.

Okay.

We're too old fogey.

We're elder millennials and we're tired, so tired.

So tired.

So tired. So Esme, thank you for keeping found footage live alive. Scott and I didn't like this.

Yeah, it was not my jam.

But it is available on Tubi. So here's the thing. Here's the thing. This is available on Tubi. So if you are a found footage completist and you would like to see a found footage and you want to all found footage, then watch it. It is on Tubi. If you are not, skip this one.

Yes. I was going to say, Tubi is a good place for it. Like it belongs there. And I'm not saying that in a bad way, it just belongs there, because it's like something that you can just kind of turn on. And you may like it, you may not. I was not a fan. Yeah.

Yeah. Now, the next one, this is where Scott and I are going to be snobby dicks.

Maybe.

Well, because there's a lot of people out there that think, Oh, yes, it's the first time this has been done.

Yeah. So you want me to bring this one in?

Yeah, you bring this in.

All right. So the movie is locked. It's got a 95-minute runtime, no escape, no mercy, just survival. When Eddie breaks into a luxury SUV, he steps into a deadly trap set by William, a self-proclaimed vigilante delivering his own brand of twisted justice. With no means of escape, Eddie must fight to survive in a ride where escape is an illusion. Survival is a nightmare and justice shifts into high gear.

Or for serious podcasters.

But it was, this is a remake of an Argentinian film called 4x4. I had to call out Fangoria because they had made a post saying, you know, new original horror films and theaters locked. And I'm going, well, to be fair, it's not original. It's a remake. I mean, and, you know, I understand, you know, most people would not know that. But come on, Fangoria, you're a horror magazine. You should know this by now. But I digress. That's just me and my little snotty ways there at the moment.

But well, and I'm looking at our friends' reviews because I'm looking to see if anyone else caught on and no one else is sharing. And I'm disappointed in every single podcaster. We know if you did not know this was a remake.

Well, I mean, they may not have even seen the original.

Don't care. They should. They're podcasters. But Scott and I want and Scott and I knew. We talked about it on this show.

Yes, we did.

If you were a fan of our show, you would know.

And I was a big fan of the show. In fact, actually, I think I gave this the Survival Movie of the Year Award.

And it was almost a scene by scene remake, just to be clear, too.

Yeah, till the third act.

Yeah, but it was pretty close.

Yeah, thankfully, though, for being an American remake, they casted some very good actors. Dahl-Starsgaard and Anthony Hopkins. They did amazing in their roles. I thought they were great. And yeah, but yeah, it was basically the exact same movie. Just the third act was changed up with Anthony Hopkins doing what he did in the third act instead of what happened in the Argentinian film.

And I will say, both did the same thing for me. By the time I got to the third act, I was tired of it. I feel like eventually, I'm like, can you get the fuck out of this car? But I did enjoy the acting of this. I do think it's a great film. And I'm not going to take away people's love of this movie. But I want to just make it clear that it's a remake, because it bothers me when I see things like, this is so original. It's not original, just because it's North American.

And the horror news site.

Yes, and the horror news site is a fucking remake. But I would say it's one of the better American remakes. So I will give it that. And I definitely think it's worth a watch. I think you should watch both, to be honest with you. They are very similar. But I think you should watch 4x4 first, to be honest, and then watch the remake.

Yeah, I agree, because then you can see the differences. And even the differences, I think I gave them both a 7.5. They were both very good. Not very good, but very entertaining for me. I wasn't bored over it like you did, because I know you were like that with the original, too. But yeah, I was invested the entire time. Erika was kind of like you. She was invested for a bit, and then just lost interest towards the end. But me, I think for both films, I was invested all the way through.

Great. So basically rent it on any of the providers, Amazon, YouTube, Cineplex here in Canada. Yes. We recommend it. Just watch Farby 4 first. Yeah. Cryptic. Yep. Anyway. Yep.

Moving on.

This won't be long. Did you watch this movie?

No, I did not.

No, thank God. Okay. So a woman's search for a missing cryptosuologist leads to her own riveting cosmic quest for identity. So this is a 95-minute runtime. Let me say this. It sets it up really cool. It has a big big foot thing, and this person's gone missing, how are we going to find them? But Jesus Christ, did this movie drag. Jesus Christ.

Seems to be the theme this year.

Oh, on and on. And I will be honest, this is something that should have been coming out from A24 or IFC Midnight. This is their jam. If you like following a character as they examine cryptic zoologists' stuff like Bigfoot, aliens, species, whether they existed or not, then you will like this film. This will be a film for you. If you are an average horror fan, I don't think you need to watch this film. I think it will drag out a lot because it is very dialogue heavy.

So good to know. I will make sure to avoid.

It is fine. Now, now this one.

Oh boy.

Movie of the year. I'm going to lead it in. Fuck you, Scotty. It's the best movie ever. A Breed Apart. This is a movie that I thought was going to be a remake of The Breed, but it kind of is, but not. It kind of is like, have you seen The Breed? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. We're going to kind of talk about it, but it's not The Breed. Like, subscribe, survive. Also social media influencers.

Legendary?

Legendary. Fucking legoceri. Man-eating dogs before they become victims of the monstrous canines that are definitely not CGI. Wink, wink, wink.

And Jesus Christ, that synopsis could not be any more wrong about the main character. She didn't want any viral opportunities, and also they were not pitted against each other at all.

Nope. But that's fine. You know what? We're here for it. Because you know what was in this movie? Puppies. And I don't really fucking care because there was dogs. I like that there was dogs. There was a really cute puppy at one point, and then they CGI-ed it because it attacked a lady, and then she had to throw it against a tree, which I thought was hilarious because it was clearly CGI. Like they all, I don't know. This movie is fucking dumb.

Yeah, I have not finished it. I got about halfway through it. I'm going, do I even want to go back? But I messaged you and went, you need to watch this. This is like your type of dumb comedy. This is like, it's got puppies. This is totally a Heather movie. You need to watch it because I know you'll like it. I'm not enjoying myself with it right now, but I'll probably at least finish it off just so I can add it to my list. But Jesus Christ, I hated every character.

That is exactly. And she was also in the movie that we... Oh, no, she wasn't. Was she in the movie where the weed farm? Was that her? The weed farm?

Yeah, I'm trying to remember if that was her. Now, I can't remember.

Ah, it doesn't matter. It gives a shit. Anyway, a breed apart, if you like German shepherds and you like German shepherds being ravenous and then turning into CGI dogs that are ravenous and fucking up people, this movie's for you. If you watched The Breed and you were like, I want more, this movie's for you.

I want more, but with even more annoying characters.

Yes, I made the people, the young, the sack and the ladies from the Summer Party Massacre watch The Breed. And they hated it. And all I said was this movie was the best because it had dogs in it. And the fact that you guys don't like it means you don't like animals and that you're murderers. I mean, first of all, there's dogs. Yeah, there's dogs.

Third of all, there's dogs.

There's dogs. So like, I don't know.

And even I will say River was really invested. He was watching because of all the puppers.

Right.

And he's only got one eye. And he was like, yeah, he was like, he's like my people.

He's like, yeah, they're fucking shit up as they should. So this is 100 minutes. I loved it. OK. Real rating. This is a solid three and a half out of 10. Heather rating. This is a 10 out of 10.

I knew it.

Real movie. Three and a half. You side on my side of things and you're simple like me. 10 out of 10.

I love it. And Scotty rating. It's a five out of 10. Like the only redeeming quality is the puppies.

Right. And that's fair.

That's fair. So and I think I enjoyed watching River watch the movie more than I watching the movie.

I'm going to I'm going to flip it and reverse it because I want I think the last two movies affected us because we're bringing back a movie that you went and watched. So we don't need to go over it too much because we didn't watch it. I really want to hear your reaction to it.

That's why I put it dead last because I was like, it'll be quick and easy just like me in general.

But anyways, I want to hear it now. I mean, yeah.

Yeah. So I ended up watching The Rule of Jenny Penn. And the reason I kind of held off for a while is just because my stepdad had gone through a lot of shit recently, like medical-wise, and I was not going to be in the right head space for something this heavy that kind of dealt with getting older. And he's doing better now, thankfully, and he didn't have to go to a home like we were kind of worried about at first. But yeah, so I watched this and god damn, this was a fucking good movie.

I'm very glad to hear that. I'm looking forward to it. I will bring it up again this year. It will definitely be brought up.

This is definitely one I will be rewatching a lot just because of how heavy it is. But goddamn, is it good.

But excellent film. Another good film, The Ending, got a little sidetracked, which I don't know, was my fucking life played out on screen. Yeah. So as I have discussed, actually, before we were supposed to report this podcast back on August 11th, my dad tragically died of a heart attack. I was actually on the call with Scotty when my mom called me to let me know the paramedics were there and my dad was on responsive. And my life changed. After that, my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer again.

That's great.

Yes. So it's been a year.

Yes. Yes, it has.

So this movie, when it came out, it came out, you know, I do believe that, I do believe in God and I believe in spirits and I believe in a lot of different things. And I do believe that my dad has been with me through a lot of this, especially because my mom is a strong-willed person, much like me. So it's been fun. But this movie is called The Surrenderer, and it's about a mother daughter relationship when their husband slash father dies.

Which is crazy.

Which was crazy and yet so crazily therapeutic.

Yeah.

There was a part where the daughter leaves the house and just screams outside. And I remember feeling that way. After leaving my mom's place after my dad had died. And just dealing with my mom's incredible amount of guilt and sadness. And a sadness that you can't fix, you know, like there's no fixing it. So this movie for me, it was very therapeutic.

Oh, yeah.

Remember that movie? It's kind of like that. There's a lot of that kind of talk pulled into it, which was interesting. So it does, it does kind of play on the paranormal a lot too. But really, really solid, well-made film. It's a 95-minute runtime. And if you have experienced a loss and it's been enough time, you know, for me, this was refreshing and very, very nice to see what I experienced on screen and to not feel like I'm crazy.

And then, well, like I said, this is your After Midnight, how After Midnight was very therapeutic for me.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So I do think it's worth a watch on Shudder. I would recommend it, Scotty. I don't think you're in a situation right now like Wayne is doing well. And I think that this wouldn't trigger you for anything, but I think it does give a very clear what happens when family dynamics change. And I give Shudder credit. Like other years, Shudder has sucked, I will say, they dropped interesting things. And whether they're your number one film or not, doesn't matter.

Exactly. They always bring something unique and might be more real lifestyle horror. Yeah. And not like the typical spooky jump scare horror, which is what I appreciate. You know, they have that as well, but they also they have a variety.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's worth the purchase. If for some reason you're not subscribed to Shudder, depending where you live, because I know definitely different places, Shudder, you get different things. Like when I'm in the UK, my Shudder is different than it is when I'm here.

Especially in Australia, it seems.

Yeah. So I understand that it's different, but I think if you live in North America, Canada, or United States, I think Shudder is definitely worth your investment.

100 percent.

I took off our older watch simply because I was worried about Edmond waking up before we finished. So all right.

And I got to run to the bathroom real quick before you get to your next thing, because I want to hear this.

Okay. Well, then I'll talk about my older watch real quickly then.

Okay. I will be right back.

You don't care about that.

Yeah, that's fine. I mean, I do care about it, but yeah.

But you don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll be right back.

All right. Sounds good. So the older watch that I was going to talk about, which is fitting that I'm talking about my nephew being here, is called The Baby 1973. So I saw this movie a little bit ago, and I had to watch it for another podcast. And let me tell you, it is weird as fuck. I don't know if you folks out there have seen this film, but Jesus Christ, is it weird? It's based upon a concept that this older man, I think he's in his 30s, believes that he is still a baby.

Yeah, that is awesome. I look because I remember you telling me about it. I remember you sending me pictures of the flyer when it first got created and you guys were talking about it like months ago. So I'm glad that it went as well as it did. And I look forward to checking out that video at some point. Because I also need to pick up some of Mark's books at some point. Because he writes about some of the actors that I really enjoyed growing up.

You would really like his Cursed Horror Stars. I'll be honest, that is my favorite one because he talks a little bit about several. And it's kind of like an anthology. And I kind of like that. Like I really do like anthology flows, which reminds me, we haven't had a good anthology yet this year. I hope that happens at some point. Yeah, but I would recommend Cursed Horror Stars, his first book. I think his other two books are great as well. But I really think you would enjoy that one.

Okay, awesome. Yeah, I will have to look into that because I'm sure it can be ordered on Amazon.

Oh yeah, I order all his books on Amazon. So yes, absolutely. So yeah, we'll see how this Google Meets record went. Yay, us. Yeah, let's hope it actually worked. Scott and I will be back hopefully next month as well as we work our way towards Scottie's wedding in October. And I don't know, figuring out how we're going to record this podcast. You'll continue to hear from us monthly as we continue to navigate, you know, our elder millennial technology worlds and as well as recording this podcast.

What are you waiting for? Patreon.com/LegionPodcasts Jennifer Love, you had better be saying this in the remake. What are you waiting for? patreon.com/LegionPodcasts

I hope there's some kind of tie-in. Whether she says it or someone else says it, I hope someone says it because it's got to be said.

Yeah, and I hope it's just in a very nonchalant way. What are you waiting for?

Yeah, I hope it's super like, like, what are you waiting for? Something like that.

Yeah, just something ridiculous.

So we will be back again. Who knows? Final Destination. Hopefully, both of us have seen the sixth one by that time.

I've been hearing so many good things and I cannot wait. And it sounds like I may have an emotional moment in that with Tony Todd from, because apparently he did an ad lib line that kind of hits home. Oh, suck. Yeah. But I'm very excited because I've heard nothing but amazing things. Like, even the hater Rob Humphrey said it was okay, and he hates the Final Destination movies.

You know, you know you made it as a Final Destination film when Rob doesn't hate it.

Yeah.

Right?

When he said that, I was going, oh my god, hell is frozen over.

Well, thank you everyone for listening, including Rob. Yeah. Who listens to our bullshit all the time. And we look forward to seeing you next month when we talk about the exciting never-ending world of horror movies in 2025, and see what platform we've decided to record on. Should be interesting.

Yeah. And see if we can navigate our way through all this crap. Thanks, Microsoft. Fuck you for taking away Skype.

Fuck you, Skype. Fuck you. So do you have anything to say to the good people, Scotty?

Thank you, as always. Thank you again for listening to us and putting up with our crazy asses and our bullshit. And until next time, kiddies, unpleasant dreams.

What? See ya.