¶ The Importance of Building Supportive Networks
at one point and it's because I know like how much it takes to write a fucking good post , like it's a lot of work , right , and a lot of times you're not seeing the engagement or whatever it is that you're looking for , whether somebody calls you or likes it or comments .
And gig kills me when I see people out there just putting out like fire stuff and it's just being seen .
Yes , that is him , the man , the myth , the legend , mr Lance Furiyama , coming back on part two of the conversation and shout out to Chris Guttkus and Mr Adam Foods , because I am deeply grateful for y'all supporting the idea , or actually recommending , that these conversations get split into two parts .
Y'all aren't the only ones that really love that , and so we're picking it up . If you haven't heard the first half , finish this one and then go back and listen to part one with Lance . But we're picking it back up . We're talking about how you let people into your inner circle .
We also talk about later on in the conversation about like exiting people from our circle , which you might find some healthy tactics to manage that . And also I'll just say it right now Don't practice mine . I share mine in there a little bit and it's not the nicest way to function .
And before you get into the second half of this conversation , I'm going to give the LNM family member shout out . This one goes out to Mr James Blutone . James says I sure appreciate you sharing with as much as you do for others in our construction community . I can only admire your commitment and determination .
My post this evening is actually inspired by so many of the things you talk about often . James , thank you so much for that man . It really is a meaningful and moving experience for me when people share these kinds of thoughts and so , yeah , part of it is me .
Making you know gives me all the warm and fuzzies about the effort that I'm putting out into the world . But , more importantly , it's like taking a just a blind leap off the edge because I don't know if it's going to resonate with people or if it's going to bring any value to people .
Your response , your comment , helps me know that I am contributing into the world and , more importantly , folks .
The reason I want to share these highlights and these shout outs is because I know you have a message , I know you have a thought within you , I know you have gifts and talents to share with the world and I want this to be evidence for you that there are people in the world waiting for your insight and your experience and your voice .
So , you know , step on up , take a leap and gift the community , the people , with your knowledge and your experience , because we need it . And here we go to Mr Land's FURIAMA what are your criteria or filter for the people that you take advice from or invest time into ?
Ooh , that's a good one . It's somebody that I would speak their name in the room if they weren't there , because to me that means that you passed every test that I have . I'm putting my name , I'm signing off on you , and if I have any hesitation in doing that , then you're probably not going to work out . That's the big thing for me .
And as far as who I'm helping , it's people that I see that are in the same position that I was in . Always look at it as stay close to people that are a couple of steps ahead of you and , same thing , a couple of steps behind you .
Because , like I'm going to be open with it , you're one of the people that's a couple of steps ahead and you've invested time . You've invested time and energy into working with me , and do the same thing with the people that I'm trying to pull up . If I have a date , I'm like you know , I suck this , this sucks . I mean , it hasn't been that way .
But if there were a day and now I'm thinking like not only am I accountable to myself , but I'm accountable to the people that invested in me and the people that are using me to help clear the path for themselves , it's a little easier to stay on track when it's not just yourself and those self-doubt voices . Ooh , self-doubt .
So a couple of things . One think it's an optical illusion that you think I'm a couple of steps ahead of you , because I'm like , no , no , no , no , you like I'm learning tons from you bro .
No , we learn a lot from each other because we have different strengths . Like you , are an idea chaser , you are not afraid to work across different mediums and verticals and , by nature , very like analytical , I stick to what I know and what I've mastered .
So by watching you and talking to you it makes me less afraid to pursue new ideas , like the video thing , which , by trade that makes no sense .
Yep .
That makes absolutely no sense , but I'm quick at learning , interested and I enjoy it .
So that's how I ramped up so quick and also with for me , the big fear of chasing your things was time , like I only have so much time , so you want I asked you about it you took an hour and a half to go over your , like , your Trello board , your white board and all of that stuff with me and I've been using it still .
And one of the windows it's right down here .
That's awesome .
So that's something like you helped me and then we've helped you with , but just different ideas , and that's the thing right , you're ahead of me in certain aspects of the race . I'm ahead in certain aspects , but we're pulling each other .
Yeah , bro , like , okay , I will agree 100% because it's like a relay race , right , like passing the baton at this point and , at that point , supporting each other . It really is . It really is when people ask me , I've been asked how , where do you get your energy from ?
And it's like I've designed my life to spend most of my time doing things that are fulfilling . And then what does that mean ? Serving others , sharing my what , the natural gifts and talents I have , and we all have them , and one of my natural gifts is to be blind and deaf , to risk , because I just do stuff , but it helps people .
I've heard multiple times people are like man , like how do you do that ? Like why just do it ? And I think of it as an experiment . And you do so many things , how do you manage it ? Oh , I have a cycle . Let me show you Mural calendar Trello , like it's a . It looks like a serial killers plan , right , or there's ship does actually .
You're not the first one to tell me that , but it's doing that now . But , like , one of the key things in that little idea is it's the people man , like when I share my gifts and talents , the people that I get to connect with are amazing people like you , like the rest of the crew .
You know there's a big list of people that are like super amazing , that are like really doing putting themselves out there right , exposing themselves to the haters and the trolls and frustration from family , doing this extra LinkedIn , social media pot , like whatever it is all of those things there's .
There's this element of courage that they have One , to overcome the friction , to put yourself out there , because that's not easy . And then three , to trust a freak right . We're all creaky . So it's like that's the combination .
All of those things are what give me more energy to keep doing crazy stuff and exploring and testing and all the damn , whatever the hell it is I'm doing right now . Sometimes I forget because I got a lot of fear . Now you mentioned the self doubt and this type of thing . How much of that do you deal with ?
Surprisingly , it changes , right , it evolves with you . So that's kind of fucked up . But in the beginning it's you don't know what the hell you're doing , right ? This isn't a real thing . You're just making things up .
You're making a thing that suits you , and then people start paying for it and enjoying it and liking the outcomes , and then you start to get this other voice that's like well , you know , like you're a fraud , Like you just made this thing up because you're .
You know , you're not a videographer , you're not a professional interviewer , you don't do any of that stuff . And as a success happens , it's . It starts to take a different voice and starts to try a different approach . And I'm going to better at silencing . For the most part , okay , it doesn't contribute . So giving it any energy doesn't help .
Yeah , no , I like that . I heard it said worrying about a negative outcome is like praying for what you don't want . Oh , what do you think about that one ?
That's it . That's deep . Well , you know what it is too . I feel like a lot of times when I'm hearing those voices . It's something that somebody else said that's just sitting in a dark corner of your mind until you're alone , like usually at night . For me is when it happens You're alone and alone with you , think what are your thoughts ?
But it's somebody else's shit that they put on your shoulders . Yes , right , they're like oh , are you sure you can do that ? And then you start to go oh shit , am I sure ? I don't know .
Yeah , so you said alone , but you've got a family .
Yeah , I do , but I'm just up weird hours . I still get seven hours of sleep somehow . It's just very like choppy .
Oh , I see , yeah , Because I see you posting at five o'clock my time , which is like three o'clock your time . Sometimes I'm like damn it , Blanche . I hope you're taking care of yourself .
And yeah , it adds up to sevens . It'd be four , three , one or something weird situation , but it's seven hours a day . I'll tell you that that's awesome .
Yeah , no , that's absolutely necessary . For me , those negative thoughts , they come from the judgments I make of other people . Yeah , that makes sense . Does that make right , like when I'm worried about being one of those sellouts ? Right , because for me I will refer to people that way .
And then I get all caught up and wound up like man , I'm done and it's like , well , who's ever called me a sellout ? Nobody . Well , not for a while , since anybody's called me that , and it's like , oh , it's because the judgments I project on other people is what's getting me spun up and caught up on making a decision or doing something .
And then , like , you said , somebody said something , you picked it up . It's a thing , it's a thought . I don't have to let it conquer the moment .
I don't have to water it . Yeah , I can't die right where it is .
So how do you go about not letting it conquer the moment ?
That's a good question . I just get back to work and start creating . I've honestly just stopped caring what other people say . On one of the live streams actually , jonathan Kaur was the one that said he removes his personal value from the outcomes of whatever he's working on , because I think a lot of damaged ego really waters those voices .
that are in your head . So if your ego is in check and you're just like I might try to close a sale with somebody and they say , please just not for me Instead of me going see , I told you it's not worth anything Like I'll go start working on the projects of the people that did pay me and continue moving on .
I think the ego , the damage ego , is the most dangerous enemy that we have for ourselves .
Oh , dude , yeah , because then you like retaliate out of being like hurt . You're hurt , you can't ask , you couldn't afford it . So on that line of thinking again , I think how to feeling when this is good for other content creators out there ? I think these are some really like realities that everybody deals with . How much do you lose when you get a no Lance ?
How much what ?
do I lose Exactly ? Oh question , no , nothing much . I was single for a long time , so no , they just bounce off for a week . It honestly doesn't hit land as hard as it should . Yeah , a lot of times .
If you're reading between the lines , it shouldn't be a surprise when you get a no yeah , like if they had asked for price , and all of a sudden the communication slows down to a halt they really shouldn't be that surprising when they say no after they ghosted you for three weeks .
Yeah , yeah , totally , I think so . If I think of it and I was listening to oh my God , I think it was Alex Hermosi . Have you consumed any of his content ?
Not much , I've . His name is color , probably five times a week . I'm just don't live with it , but he roll , keep rolling yeah .
For me it's like he simplifies some things that are can be very complex and I'm like , yep , that lands with me . Style and all that . It's a different thing . But there was two things that I took out of the thing I was listening to day . One was that like is a no cost you nothing , and actually no is all upside .
I mean , I got a rep in of marketing my product . I'd learned what kind of objections or things to look for in the future to filter . Right back to the filter that you mentioned earlier , and now I can move on to the next one , so it didn't cost me anything . I like I'm still as broke as I was when I started talking to you .
Nothing changed , nothing changed . I got a little bit more experience and let's move on .
Okay , if I move on to that , though , jesse , that's an important thing . What's that ? I think that's a really important thing that you just touched on , because I never really asked people about what were your impressions of me .
Or , again , one of the downsides of not caring rights , right , you know , when John , like they posted this warning , is basically saying hidden luck , and then how can I serve you or whatever ? I want to put you on my page , and it's almost like a sneaking suspicion of all . Right , but what's next ? Yep , and the what's next with me never comes , but it's .
It says a lot to the document and the mindset that we're all looking at as the person on the other end . Right , it's too fucking weird . This guy's not asking me for anything , he's not trying to sell me anything Like what's fucking weird , though . What's your ? What are you after ? What are you trying to do ?
I never thought of it , right , I just I read it and I was kind of like , oh damn , I never didn't occur to me .
But that's because you weren't going in to make the sale , you were looking to connect . If you go back and read the thing , maybe there's probably a way I could put it up here somehow . And then this was the post . This is what I was thinking . This is the post . This is what I was thinking .
Yeah , I was like , totally , I want to connect with you right now . It's different . Now you didn't say that hey , jonathan , let's connect . Come on , bro , let's connect Right ,
¶ Managing Relationships and Connection Importance
cause that elicits a no or a yes or no . Instead , I want to help you . What is it that you do ? Because I think I understand it and I think somebody else needs that service . What is that ? So I can connect you .
And so it was all about connection and connectivity , which is , like , largely absent in our industry , and I think that's an important maybe a side note , but I think that's one thing that I'm feeling , or maybe witnessing , discovering , seeing it develop is the type of connectivity that we all have right now .
Specifically , the group that's the construction creator group that is on LinkedIn is the type of connectivity that we need throughout the industry . But back to the point , you didn't say , hey , jonathan , let's connect .
Yeah .
Let's network , let's network . Do you want to network ? No , you , you were networking , so maybe that's the secret sauce , right as to why that's not a no . I remember you reached out to me and you're like hey , I've got a newsletter . Do you have any links that you want ? I'm like , oh , hell , yeah , like , yeah , bro , like amazing , what can I do for you ?
It wasn't a yes or no , like a yes or no question , even though there was a decision to be made . I didn't realize that yeah , no , I hadn't thought about it until now , and so I guess that's just like a natural skill that you've done Doesn't sound like you developed it on purpose , or did you ?
Well , I was like I was playing when it was a mastermind move , but it was just oh dude , you totally got to leverage it .
You gotta see . Yeah , you want to get the inside of that . You got to sign up for X and drop . I'll drop the link in the top and thumbs up in the chat and I'll send you a deal . You didn't have a show notes . Yeah , we'll put that in the show notes . I think that's one of the things that's super amazing .
Man is a lot of what I get to witness , and the way you interact and the way you post and the way you treat people to me seems very as is going to sound ugly , but it seems calculated and well thought out . But when I talk to you you're just being lens .
Yeah , a lot of it too . Like I started shouting people out at one point and it's because I know , like how much it takes to write a fucking good post . Like it's a lot of work .
Right .
And a lot of times you're not seeing the engagement or whatever it is that you're looking for , whether it's somebody calls you or likes it or comments . And it kills me when I see people out there just putting out like fire stuff and it's just not being seen . Or people see it . I'm trying to read that , lex , I'm trying to learn . It entertained me .
For me . That's not because I hate writing , so to see somebody do it and I get the response that they're looking for , it just hits something for me . Yeah , I think that's where that comes from . Right , it's like I can put myself in your shoes .
Try to figure out how much effort went into it , and if you're not seeing the results , I feel like somebody needs to say something .
Man , there you go again , just serving others . Right , you're using your gifts and talents and service to others .
So it's also selfish . I don't want them to stop writing because it's helping me learn . It's not completely selfless . There is some selfishness .
Yeah , yeah , I feel you man . To me that translates into reciprocal propulsion . You're contributing , you like that . I like that . According to me , helping me grow , helping me get my momentum , that's propelling me forward .
So I'm going to reciprocate , and then it's just a flywheel and keep spinning and spinning , but that flywheel does not work with the wrong people , and so how do you go about managing , maybe , a bad selection ?
When you make a bad selection of letting people that are not in alignment with your mission , how do you go about exiting them out of your space or your inner circle ?
Well , if they made it that far , they're pretty much good to go . To get on board is pretty lengthy . It doesn't seem that way , I'm sure , like the outside looking in , but there are more levels to it , right , and everything goes back to depth .
I have a lot of surface level connections , but there are people , with each talk or each when it gets real , we really start talking about what we're trying to do , things we're going through in our life , that you're working your way closer and closer . So you're not just getting a free pass to the inner circle , but it's over time and over shared experiences .
So if you made it that far and you fuck up , I look at that as a one off . Maybe that was a lot of character , a little weird . I don't just throw the baby out with the bathwater for that . So , as I care about you , I play like hey man , that was a weird fucked up thing that you just let's go like we need to , yeah , and that's the thing .
Right , it's a dressing thing and asking , because if you go home and let it fester , I can't have fucked that guy . He was such an asshole , yep . You forget about the 99% of the time that you really helped each other in or enjoy your time together .
Yeah , man , when they say conflict avoided is conflict multiplied . Oof , that's a good one . Never heard that . I stole that one . None of these are my original . No , I've said anything original yet . Yeah , that , like the resentment just festers and bubbles and grows , and it's bad . It's now .
You're far more compassionate than I am , because I do put people on the dead to me list and it could be people that were all the way up in that inner circle . I've gotten better about like , not slamming the door shut forever .
And there were a lot of it as compassion though . So you're seeing that people all the way in Yep . They got themselves all the way out . Yes , like it had to be like a violation , though . That's like really fucked up , right . No , you can't just be .
After me , really . Yeah , it's as simple . Then I'll say the most frequent violation , I'll put it that way the most frequent violation is when their say do ratio gets way out of whack . They stopped following through doing the things they said they were going to do . When that happened , I just sever connection , which is probably not probably .
I know that's connected to like childhood trauma . There's more of a defense mechanism than anything . Now , when I say historically , I'll say before the past , we'll say five years , once you were out , you were out out Like there was no way you're coming back in Now .
It's more of like okay , like I'm gonna watch and I'm gonna study and be very apprehensive about it . But I do cut people off . And when I say cut people off , I mean from like the feeling right , I don't have that care anymore . I just turned it off , which is kind of weird . But anyhow , we're supposed to be talking about you , lance , come on bro .
I know Well the reason I ask . That is so this like you got your serial killer board right here yeah , it's your white board and Trello and I have this weird thought that I have the hardest time shaking . I don't even know if I want to say it , but I'm gonna keep going .
Always think , no matter how deep your relationship is with somebody or how good it is , Like you could fuck that up in five seconds if you wanted to Like . I'm not saying that this is something that would happen , but just if you know somebody for 30 years inner circle as deep as it gets and you kiss the dude's life , Yep , that's shitting .
There's no coming back . It's like a decision that can be made in a second to break down everything that was built . I just it's such a weird thing because when I'm driving , I drive full on this weird road one lane each , and it's really curvy . I'm like man if somebody fucks up , I'm dead , and it's a decision that they made .
That set for lack of decision making and everything's so fragile , I guess , is what I'm getting at . So for you to say that it's not , yeah , shocking .
Things are fragile and for me maybe this is the truth I am ultra fragile , so that's why I have the click dead to me . You're on the list . Peace out done with you . Next , I've gotten better at it , but again , like your cut , the compassion you have gives me something to aspire to .
So another thought we're talking about how you're supporting the folks that you see posting fire like really great stuff and they're not getting the interaction you feel it deserves . So , along that line of thinking , how ? What are your thoughts on likes and comments and views on the content that you post ?
I guess it just depends on what you're trying to accomplish . If you're trying to share ideas and it gets likes , that's good , and if it gets engaged , I think they're all tied to each other . If you're getting likes and comments , then you're getting more viewers and greater reach . So I think that's the only value of it all .
I do think like all of the magic is in the comments on LinkedIn , and that's why I purposely don't do like thought dumps on there too much . I try not to , because all I'm trying to do is get . I want to leave enough room for people to have a voice at the table , and if I say everything and like it's three squirrels long , you're all the way down .
And well , fuck , he said everything already . What the hell do I have to say ? So I try to keep it short and leave it there . There's room for a conversation , because that's true engagement . Otherwise I'm just talking at you .
Correct 100% . So what pointers would you give one of the lurkers , people that have been out there like on social media and they watch and read and but they don't really comment and they don't post , but they want to . They're post curious , right . They want to , but they don't because of all the human things that happen .
Right , they're all caught in their head . They don't know . What kind of thinking would you recommend to help them , like , get over the hump and start commenting or start posting ?
Do you think there's a couple of things people are worried because of what their employer might think , so that's something that you should be aware of , but if that's not an issue for you . I would just comment , comment on other people's stuff . I joke that I like commenting because I don't have to think that much . Like you already got the conversation started .
I just have to bring I'm bringing chips to the party , like it's not a huge deal , but sometimes you want chips . Like you barbecued all day , you did everything and I just came . But like , first of all , it shows appreciation for all the person put in and second , it's the cool thing is you can respectfully disagree on this platform .
Yes , and that's kind of a major thing , right , as long as you're not coming in sideways , have whatever you believe saying if it so moves you , but also don't back off at the first sign of resistance . You can still respectfully disagree , I mean yeah , yeah , 100% .
All right , brother . So we're going to slide in home . And here's the closing question Are you ready ? It's a big one . I'm ready and you do a lot of amazing things . I imagine this might be a tough question , but what is the promise you are intended to be ?
To continue serving . I mean serving my family , serving the people that I care about . I'm not here to serve everybody , but it's the people that are on the path with me . This is as important as it is , because I thought that my own financial success would be like hi , maybe look at me , but it really I get the most doing that .
But also helping other people become free of whatever they're trying to get away from . Well , you know that's not an accuracy but it's free to go get where they want to get to . You should have been running for some . You should be running to something .
Oh , gold , yes , Awesome .
Any shout out , the running thing is fear motivated right ? Yes , sir .
Yes , sir , any shout outs you want to give Everybody man too many .
I can't believe if you pull out trying to get me canceled , like you on LinkedIn , I feel you man .
I'm like , oh , that's a long list . Well , I'm just going to have to get those project managers after you .
And then now the who was the other one that you're trying to get the public , public speakers , Public speakers . I think I can square up with muscle , but they'll start going after other people .
You know , I've only known Lance for a short period of time and when I say short , I mean like less than a year and the very first time I connected with that man I was like , wow , this guy really wants to serve .
And if that didn't come through , like through this second half of the interview , of how committed he is to serving other people and I've met him in person and saying thing I see all the content he posts and it's always about serving others . So check him out , follow him on the LinkedIn , follow his business page , the trade partner HQ .
He's doing a whole lot of great things out there to help other people elevate and spread their wings . He's also been helping me get the word out on some of the products that I've been producing , and the latest concoction , the latest experiment , actually is the sponsor of this episode and that is the Field Leaders Planning Toolbox . It is in development .
So over the next six weeks , what are we in January ? Right now , january 2024 , there's an early adopter rate .
So if you sign up right now , you'll get the early adopter rate , which is like super discounted , because all the other modules aren't in there yet , and I will be adding a module every couple of weeks here going forward and as I add modules , the rate is going to go up , but if you take advantage of the early adopter rate right now , you'll get in like at
the bottom at the cheapest rate available . If you're wondering who is going to get the most value out of the Field Leaders Planning Toolbox , it is going to be trade foreman , trade superintendents , people that are out there busy doing the work . Maybe you're not a trade foreman , but you know somebody who is . Maybe you're a project manager or a superintendent
¶ Field Leaders Planning Toolbox for Foremen
for a GC and you got a whole bunch of trades out on your project that may benefit from some tools , but you don't have the time to like teach the thing because you got to go build the damn building . That's the whole point of the Field Leaders Planning Toolbox , so check it out . The link's going to be down there .
Be cool , and we'll talk to you next time .
Peace .