Beating Speaking Anxiety: 8. I’m scared I can’t be myself

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You're listening to the Learning English Conversations podcast from BBC Learning English. We'll have another episode of the English We Speak soon, but today we're continuing with our special series Beating Speaking Anxiety, a podcast to help you fight your fears of speaking English.

This episode is called I'm Scared I Can't Be Myself. Do you think your personality is different when you speak English? I was like, whoa, in this language I appear to be really shy, I appear to be someone that doesn't know or that is insecure or doesn't have an opinion. I I and I actually have an opinion, I have a perspective. I am an introvert and I tend to be very self conscious about what I speak and how I speak. The whole situation is such an anxiety inducing experience.

It's like you want to tell everyone that I'm actually a cool person, right? It's not like you know uh I presented the way I presented it in in the second language. In today's episode, we're talking about ways you can express your personality in English. Hello and welcome to Beating Speaking Anxiety, our special series to help you fight your fears of speaking English. I'm Hanan. And I'm Georgie. You can find a transcript of this episode to help you learn on our website, bbclearningenglish.com.

So, we heard from some learners at the start of the program that they sometimes feel like they can't be themselves when they speak English. And I also know this feeling from my time learning Spanish. I have quite a friendly personality. I enjoy getting to know people, but in group conversations sometimes I'd just be really quiet because I was too scared to speak. And I found that so frustrating because I wanted people to know my personality, but it's hard when you don't say anything.

Well funny enough I find myself um comfortable uh and confident speaking uh English and especially at my job. It feels natural. Mm that's really interesting. So you feel yourself in English. Exactly, even though that it's not my uh native language. Oh fascinating. Well, in an earlier episode of this series, we met Peppa, who told us about her experience learning English and telling jokes in a new language.

But when she first moved to the UK, Pepper also felt like her English skills were stopping her from showing her personality. But she's a way more um I don't know, it's a it's a language that needs more words to express, whereas English is very direct, um, succinct, sort of like straight to the point kind of thing. In her native language, Spanish, Peppa was a confident person, but when she spoke English she found it difficult to be herself. I was like, whoa, in this language I appear to be

really shy, I appear to be someone that doesn't know or that is insecure or doesn't have an opinion and have a perspective. So yeah it was about bringing my real personality, who I I really was, into the space even when I didn't have all the tools, the language tools to do so.

Pepper wanted to show her personality, even if her English wasn't perfect. You can hear more of her story in episode six of this program, I'm Scared I Won't Get the Joke. But why do different languages sometimes make us feel like different people?

In terms of uh speaking, it's it's uh it's related to our self-concepts and identity. This is language anxiety expert Han Luo, who we've heard from before in the podcast. She believes that people often feel awkward and anxious speaking a new language because they don't think they can represent their real personality. It's like you want to tell everyone that I'm actually a cool person, right? It's not like, you know, uh I presented the way I presented it in uh in a second language.

Of course, feeling like you can't be yourself might make you feel more nervous, and if you're nervous, you're more likely to make mistakes. It can be hard to avoid these feelings. Speaking Coach Rihan has worked with a lot of people who spend all day worrying about whether they did well enough in a meeting or conversation.

A lot of uh clients I work with have what I often call post-match analysis. So like in the moment they manage to do the thing, you know, quite well, well enough. And then afterwards they're like, oh, I should have done this. I should have done that. To try and stop this anxious post match analysis where people worry all day about how things went, Rihanna encourages people to keep a diary and notice how they are feeling before moments when they have to use English.

Let's take the example of there's a Tuesday meeting and it's the heads of departments across Europe. This is the case of one of my clients. She was absolutely fine working with her team in Italy, but as soon as she was working internationally, she was like, this was terrifying. Rihannan's client found a particular Tuesday meeting where she had to speak in English really stressful, so Rihannin asked her to keep a diary about how she felt.

She's just making notes and she's observing. She's not trying to change anything. And then she's saying, okay, so I arrive at work and the meetings at ten o'clock in the morning say, What's my behaviour like in that nine to ten AM slot? How am I feeling in those moments? Is the anxiety already showing up in some of my other behaviours? What thoughts are going through my head?

Rihannin says that by writing things down, her clients start to find small things they can change to feel calmer when they speak English, and if people feel calmer, they are more likely to be themselves. Take five minutes before a meeting, go to the bathroom or go downstairs outside your office, and just take five minutes, have a couple of deep breaths.

Look at some trees, touch grass, and then come back in. Am I feeling better? And it's not necessarily that you get it right first time, maybe you try something and makes no difference, but it's about saying, okay, well, now that I really know what's happening. Where can I see opportunities to change it? Ryanan's approach is to look at what small practical things people can do to reduce anxiety, rather than focus directly on language.

But is there anything else people can do to help their personality shine when they speak English? Yeah, try to do things in English that you enjoy, so you could listen to podcasts if that's something you like doing, join a discussion group about something you're interested in. And you could also start a hobby and meet people who have similar interests and have conversations about the things that you're passionate about, all in English.

Basically what we're trying to say is to use English outside of stressful situations like work or study and try to use English for things that you enjoy and that are fun. Or in other words, immerse yourself in the language.

That's it for this episode and for the series. We hope you've heard some useful tips for feeling better when speaking English. Remember, the most important thing is to know that lots of people feel the same way, and with practice you can become more confident. We'd love to hear about your experience speaking English. Please send us an email and let us know what you thought of this series. Our email address is learningenglish at bbc.co.uk.

If you'd like more practical advice to improve your English speaking skills, Georgie's made some videos about all the topics we've covered in this series. Each one has ideas for how to practice your speaking that we've tried out with learners. You can find the videos at bbclearningenglish.com. Thanks so much for joining us for this special series. Bye for now.

Thanks for listening to this podcast from BBC Learning English. Do you use English at work? In our podcast series Office English, we talk you through what to say and what not to say at work. Need to run a meeting, not sure how to talk about rules at work, or want help disagreeing politely with colleagues? Office English is your podcast guide to the world of work. Search Learning English for Work in your podcast app or visit BBC Learning English dot com to listen. At love doppelcircular.

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