Attachment

Those are different things. Um, we will talk about that at a later time, but right now we're just talking about run-of-the-mill, everyday healthy attachment. So babies learn not too long after they're born, if they can trust their parents and the way we teach them. That they can trust us is through warmly responding to their needs, warmly responding to their cries, and, and not making them wait very long for that, especially early on.

So it's different when we're talking about things like sleep training after six months and, and the older they get and further into childhood they go. But in the very beginning, especially those first six months of life, We wanna teach them or train them, that they can trust us, that they're safe with us. And we do that by responding warmly with warm tone, warm sound of voice, with warm, uh, embraces. And when I say warm, I mean comforting. I mean, Um, encouraging.

We talk to our babies in a positive way. We're using that lilting tone, which is parent ease, which is different than baby talk. That helps develop the language. It's developing their auditory processing. All of those things are important in a. Attachment.

Your baby knows mama's voice as soon as they're born because they, they've been listening to that voice in utero, and they learn daddy's voice pretty quickly afterwards if they've been living in the same home together because they've been listening to daddy's voice all along. So those voices come quickly. Those bring familiar familiarity. Words are hard. Um, that brings comfort. It brings peace, and it's essential to them learning to be trusted because we're responding quickly and warmly.

So being touched and loved is essential to healthy development. You cannot spoil your baby by holding them. By loving on them. That's an old wive's tale. That was old information 30 years ago. I don't know why that, um, old wive's tale won't just die. You cannot spoil a baby. By holding them. There's no such thing as loving or holding too much at this age. Um, daily interaction between parents and babies lay the foundation in the brain for emotional regulation and connection to other people.

Uh, it helps develop secure. Developing secure attachments in the early years is the foundation for all of our social de emotional development. Later in, Um, it also encourages curiosity in exploring if your baby feels safe and knows that they can trust you to feed them, change them, help them feel better when they're crying or when they feel sad. If you are. Responsive quickly.

If you're responsive to your child, you're teaching them that they can trust you, which then encourages them to be curious and explore. And as they're learning to pull up and cruise as they're learning to walk tho, curiosity is in foundational. To learning new skills and learning activities. You want your child to be curious because that propels them further to want to learn. So again, this is all attached to attach, attached to attachment. It also encourages secure attachment.

Also, enco encourages your child to be more self-sufficient as life goes along. Um, they're more tolerant of frustration. They're better at controlling their anger and their ingression. They're more successful in peer groups. They handle conflicts better, they're more cooperative. I'm just going off my whole list of, of, um, things here. They seek companionship and develop relationships with others.

Because they're securely attached, so secure attachment, very important for the rest of their life. So secure attachment versus insecure attachment around seven to eight months of age mobility increases and they become interested in the way their actions affect parents and the people who love them. Their brains are programmed to test the environment, which can be scary for adults, and it can be frustrating for adults. Excuse me.

So testing that environment, again, that's curiosity, which is a foundational skill for learning. We want to, um, this is when you're gonna have to start doing lots of redirecting, maybe picking them up and moving. Especially if you have an early walker. Early walkers will feel like they're testing you a lot. And that's because they're exploring, because they're able to explore on their own. Uh, they learn to get their parents attention, um, and engage in social interactions and.

It's important that you are encouraging that need to explore. I know that it can be frustrating, that's why baby um, proofing is so important at this stage. Some people prefer not to baby proof, but if your kiddo is mobile extra early, that's not really a great option. Okay, so some of the other things, the best predictor of secure attachment is a parent's sensitive response to baby's cues. Excuse me.

Secure attachments typically occur during those first two years of life, and, um, we want to enforce that as much as possible when secure attachment develops. We have all of those things that we talked about responding wise a few minutes ago, and secure attach attachment develops when parents have not learned their baby's cues. They don't comfort their baby. Um, so their baby learned, um, in a timely manner that is not comforting their baby in a timely manner.

Um, the baby's not learned to trust his parents to meet their needs, meet his needs, her needs, and the baby needs. Um, the baby's needs are ignored. Or not met or only met inconsistently. That's what causes insecure attachment. Um, an insecurely attached child will often show a lack of interest or fear. They may not interact with other babies. They may not want to explore at seven to eight months of age. They may turn away from their parents when they need reassurance.

It's kind of an avoidant attachment situation. They become fussy. When they're upset, they seek and resist solace all at the same time. From a, from a, a care provider who provides it inconsistently, they may asce, they may seem to be frightened of their caregiver or their appearance. These are, um, all things to consider about attachment.

The important thing to take from this video and the important thing to focus on is responding to your child's needs for changing their diaper, responding to their cries, warmly, lovingly, affectionately, picking them up, cradling them, rocking them, cuddling them. The whole goal in responding to all of their needs in those first three to six months.

Quickly and warmly is cuz you're building that foundation for later in life and you're focusing on warm responses and loving because you want them to learn. They can trust you. All throughout the lifespan beginning now, you want them to learn, to be curious and to explore because those facets are important for learning. So there's kind of a really quick, brief overview of attachment and what you can do to cause your baby or child to be securely attached.

Remember, if you have any questions, be sure to post them in what's up Wednesday so we can talk about your, um, interests or concerns. I hope you enjoyed this. Have a great day.