S02E62 Authentic Communication with Mario Wissa

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. I'm excited to have you here , Mario Welcome .

So I was actually born and raised in Cairo , egypt , and I was born to a mother who did not even go to high school , but she was amazing with numbers and communication , interacting with people and cultivating customer service you know , interacting with customer service and a dad who was a monk before he got married , so he did not care so much for the world , he

lived at church and all , and he got married to my mom . What I'm trying to bring up here is I have had the experience of two polar opposite parents in such a way , and 25 years ago I had the chance to come to the US to study English and communication . And fast forward 25 years .

From 2000 to now , I have published three books about communication intrapersonal , intrapersonal and group communication and I actually literally traveled the world to speak about this .

In fact , coming up in March 21st , I'll be traveling to Middle East and North Africa for about four years to just talk about that intentional communication and understanding ourselves and our clients and customers .

fantastic , and so communication . And so what do you teach ? You said there's three factors that you build into healthy leadership .

Okay , this is crucial , at least for me and many of the workshops that I do . So when I do a workshop , let's say I have 50 attendees and I ask them tell me what is your definition of communication ? I give you 30 seconds , your definition of communication .

I give you 30 seconds and if I have 50 different attendees , I get 50 different definitions and ideas of what communication is Okay . The interesting part is none of them is wrong . They just see it how they see it .

So , based on my almost I've been saying 17 years of research I have been saying this for the last two years , so now it has been like 19 years as a researcher you get to a point in your life where where you actually find your own definition of specific terms and fields .

So from listening to thousands of people , interviews and workshops , I got to a point where I cultivate my own definition of what communication is with issues . It's really crucial . A lot of us see communication as like oh , I talk to you , you talk to me , oh , I don't communicate with you . That means we don't talk anymore .

The way I see communication is a non-stop voluntary and involuntary process of exchanging information , knowledge and vibration . And oftentimes , when I bring this up this definition of like it's nonstop , voluntary and involuntary process of exchanging information , knowledge and vibration people go like communication knowledge and vibration . People go like communication Vibration .

What's up with that no-transcript ? And just speak out your name or say something . You will feel vibrations in your hand . Communication is vibration , whether we are aware of it or not . Every single word , intention and sentence that we create it has a ripple effect .

And that's actually the core part of what I'm doing Traveling world to remind people that words do create .

In the meantime , words do create emotions , situations , feelings , connections .

Most people are not aware that when we exhale , that's when we speak . If I try and inhale and speak , it's not possible . It's not like trying to inhale and speak , it's just not really possible . So when we exhale and use words , we are actually creating . When we exhale and use words , we are actually creating .

So this is very important to realize that we are creating something that did not exist before .

Number two , to realize that our creation it will be much healthier to , as we are creating words , opinions and sentences , to be responsible for this creation , to be accountable , not just to say , oh , he made me say this , she made me say that , they made me react this way . I am responsible for what I am creating .

And number three is I actually learned this from my dad a long time ago and it became a lot more influential for me from my research is that every pingo person , that every single person , human being , is doing his or her best in how they communicate , and I think this is like perfect key point to plug in , especially for , like , a lawyer .

That's why , like some people need lawyers to like , whatever thoughts and ideas you have , you need someone to interpret them and express them in a like , a better way in court , and so forth .

So to realize that we are creating intentionally , to err subconsciously , and to realize that we are responsible for what we are creating , and realize that we are responsible for what we are creating , and also you be aware that our best can get better . Every person is doing his or her best , whether myself , my clients or even in a workshop .

That's why , when I ask 50 different people what is their definition of communication , none of them is wrong because they're doing their best and they see it as how they see it , based on their experiences .

The reason why I bring this up ? Because to realize that we are dealing and communicating with other human beings . It helps us to cultivate and compassion those two Empathy and compassion . As a leader I think most of us are familiar with this

phrase I think you might be familiar with it as well as like leading like a swan . So as a manager , as a boss , you're just like you know your feet are like pedaling down , but swan looks so beautiful . Like you know your feet are like pedaling down , but Swan looks so beautiful and you know content and I understand and I like the idea behind it .

Yet I have experienced for my own self from the managers and bosses that I've had in the past , when they show me their true side , the true human side of them , it brings me closer to them . So the idea of leading like a swan , like your feet , like pedaling down , but on top you look so calm , that's misperception .

Most people want to see boss or leader struggle once in a while .

They don't know how to fix something and they don't know how to face it and they need some help on the outside , when we are like managers which I have been in a position like this before when we behave like manager or boss and just like pretend , in a way that's actually doing disservice to our team as a manager , that I can show up to work and maybe on

my face you can tell that I'm not having a good morning , or less . No , I don't know . I did not start my day on the right foot , as some people say , and I'm trying to get out of this for the next couple of hours . When I get to work , my team can ask me like hey , mario , you look a little different today , you look different this morning .

What's going on ? I can just like put a smile on and go like , oh , nothing is wrong . I can just like put a smile on and go like , oh , nothing is wrong , everything is all right , which is , I'm denying them the opportunity to connect with me as a human . For me , I say well , thank you for asking , thank you for noticing .

I just I did not sleep enough last night . Or , I don't know , my car like , I don't know , I had a flat tire this morning , or whatever my issue that might be . Or , oh , my boss , I'm a boss , but my boss get angry at me . I did not meet the expectation or something .

I think showing the humanity part of who we are and how we connect with other people is like super glue . And how we connect with other people is like super glue and I am not speaking this just from hypotheticals and my research . I actually I've had managers in the past who showed me what that means and that it didn't really lift . Mark me .

It's a little bit different for me , communications by field right , the interview word really matters honestly , from my heart , as a service provider or even a customer or client or even a team member , to connect in a way that really , truly shows our humanity . Yes , let's be crystal clear . Some people might take advantage of that . It's very true .

If you go to a car dealership , some people might take advantage of you being vulnerable and honest . We need to have a true , concrete and clear connection and communication as we are working on . Can I share with you something really quick ? So I traveled India for like a year and a half ago . Sure , north Freaking 2000s .

It's like eight years ago and it's a really simple story . Ago and it's a really simple story , the story was there were a few people that were working on building a really amazing palace

, okay , so someone walked by the workers and he asked the first worker who's working like chiseling the stones to build the palace , and they were asked what are you doing ? And the first person said I'm just chiseling rocks , stones , that's all I'm doing . They said okay , and the person went to the next worker and asked like what are you doing ?

And they said oh , I'm doing what I'm doing to do . I was told to do this to just chisel stones and rocks . And the person who was asking the other two people as a third person , like what are you doing ? And the same person , different person , doing the same job , chiseling stones and rocks .

And the third person said I am helping to create the best castle that ever existed in this country for my owner . So the point of this is yeah , so the point of this is like the same job , the same task , different perception . We need to be aware of that .

Whatever we are creating for ourselves or connection with other people , how we label it which I'm very certain , you know of this how we label it , how we frame it , how we brime , it creates energy around it .

That really makes sense , because when people come into law firms , they're having one of their most likely lower moments of their life , and so that comes into the communication Absolutely Well . Very interesting , mario . I really appreciate you being with us and having this conversation today .

If anyone wants to reach out and connect with you , where would be the best place for them to reach you ?

On Google , all my networking social websites will come up and also my direct website , mariovisacom , where people can book like 30-minute session with me , free session 101 , and other awesome stuff to do on my website . So I'll keep it simple for now .

. I'll make sure that that website is in the show notes and , again , this has been very enjoyable . Thank you so much for taking the time to be with us today .

Second , you can connect with me on LinkedIn to keep up with what I'm currently learning and thinking about . And if you're ready to take the next step with a digital strategist to help you grow your law firm , I'd be honored to help you . Just go to lawmarketingzonecom to book a call with me . Stay tuned for our next episode next week .

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