The Slippery Slope

Hey y'all! Well, I'm more back voluptuous than front voluptuous, so we'll just call me like voluptuous. Hey, guys. I'm Vanity. Or voluptuous, whatever you want to call me. It's fine. Keep it. I think that's a new word, guys. I like it. Go. Time to change all my handles.

hey guys welcome to the inaugural episode of lazy dirty talk the podcast for lazy dirty people That was such a weird way to say that. I'm Vanity. That's all I'm going to say about that one right now. I'm also here with... I'm Helen Renee, and the raunchiest thing I said today was turn my throat into a daycare. gross and i have to follow that and i'm katie and um i can't i can't anything else what do you say to that like

If somebody said that to you, like, hey, turn my throat into a daycare, I'd be like, uh... Well, first of all, I don't have that option. I don't have the pieces for that. But even then, I'd still be like, uh... Okay. Let me just say that who I said it to was very... So he responded like he didn't go just like dot dot dot or leave you on red or something? No, girl! You can't be fucking around with people like that! That's gonna leave you in a pinch!

Just like, message received. No response. Because when you say something like that, the dude that says nothing is the dude that doesn't get to turn your throat into a daycare. Is the dude that gets nothing. Boom, bam. Okay, so I guess we should tell you guys what this podcast is about. This is just a sex-positive podcast. We're going to kind of cover some different topics.

Things that you might not know. Things you know. Things you think you know. All from three women who know nothing. Ha! We're going to Jon Snow all this shit up. We know nothing. But you can trust us. Totally. Wait, can you or can't you? We wouldn't lead you astray. We're kind of like your mom when you're going on a date and you still live at home and she's like... Show them tits. Show that A. I don't know why I just entered my A for ass, but show your ass.

Let's not censor ourselves, guys. I didn't say dick. So I guess we should kind of let you know who we are. Kind of important, right? So, hi. Hey. I'm Vanity. Hi, Vanity. I feel like I should like it. I'm drinking soju. Hi, Vanity. Hi, class. Let's see. I was born on a Monday. many years ago I really was though but um I don't know I guess I guess you're just gonna find out more about me as we go along but I am in my 30s

And that's all. I don't know what else you want to know about me. My social security number? Your address? I have no kids. I have cats. Oh, well, hi, guys. Hold on one second for my address. No, don't find me. I'll kill you. it is what it is follow that bitch i'm hell kitty and i think the one thing we all have in common aside from being fucking adorable as shit is that we like having sex. And we're not afraid to fucking talk about it. The next day. At church. Who does the church here?

The Lord is in my life. I went to church. Once. You had sex at a church? No. I don't want people watching me. I.E. Jesus. I am not here to judge. Oh my god.

could you imagine jesus watching you judging you for your no there's this like sex cult that's all about jesus and it's like loving him and like you're supposed to fuck like you're fucking jesus but if you're a guy you have to imagine that you are a woman fucked by jesus because you can't be in a homosexual relationship with jesus do you understand me jesus is straight so you are the bitch in this scenario and it has like

words to say like oh fuck me jesus i love feeling your holy spirit in me i'm so glad we have this connection and i'm really skewed out by it a friend sent me the link and it was what It was a lot. They and us, for knowing about this, are all going to hell. All of us. We're just going to sit in there and we're going to go get our punch card and Devils will be like, hey, you're supposed to be here. And I'm like, I know, right?

I remember that cult that I learned about. Okay, so... Katie, who are you? I'm Katie. I'm Katie. I have like... five plus years of sex retail under my belt so i do know a thing or two about things or twos um i don't know i got distracted by the sex cult with jesus I need to get more information about that. Like, what's it called? Where's it located? Are you trying to join? No, I'm just curious. I need to know. Hey, look, look.

We all make twists and turns in our life journey. If you want to join the sex cult and get fucked by imaginary Jesus, girl. Actually, I just want to know if there are any people who weren't pale. I can't imagine. It's called... Just curious if it was like, any specks of Pepper made their way into this cult? is called loving jesus and it's children of god slash family international cults so like i i don't know i got sent the wikipedia page on it i can forward it later

Please do. I'm just out of curiosity's sake. So we all met many moons ago, working in a tiny, tiny store. Next to a spring creek. You never knew if you were going to smell like lube or meat, kissable powder, or smoke, or liquor, depending on the night. Oh, my God. When that bar opened up. Oh, my God. The fucking bar. Anyway, so we all worked at an adult store together. We all participated in many of things.

slinging the dicks, if you will. And it was good times had by us. Not like in a brothel capacity. Oh, no, we weren't like plastic. Although that is one of my life goals to open a brothel. Yeah, the dicks were plastic. We weren't just slinging like... personal dicks. I think Katie has most time on the books of selling fake dicks. Vanity is close behind for taking real dicks. Shut up! But a novice...

learning my way through a man's body. So pure. If y'all could see the old grandma look on my face right now, like, bitch, why you gotta lie? Jesus knows. He's in that cult. He knows you. Oh, God. And no one's going to subscribe because we're talking about Jesus. He's always watching, you know. He's always watching. I always feel like somebody's watching me. Jack off through the window. Creepy. Okay. But really, though, so one of the big things that when we first.

one of the things you have to first learn about when you walk when you work at an adult store is um first of all dicks but there's a wall of dicks and dicks are dicks are dicks but lube I mean, you have the shitty ones in the back, but you can figure that out really quick. But the different kinds of lube is very important. Because I was a lube novice before I started working at... Oh, yours is a forbidden word.

The story that shall not be named. I did. It's like, you know, Voldemort. Can we just call it Voldemort? Well, let's call it Hogwarts since we all like being there, but... It's never going to be my home. It's Courtney McGarble. But anywho, so... One of the things we wanted to talk about in our very first episode is what you should know about Lube. Don't get me wrong. Everybody walks in there like...

I don't need no lube. My vagina's fine on its own. It produces its own lube. My girl don't need no lube. I make her wet with my dick. Do you? I see you are so creative at role playing. Do you do that in the bedroom? Uh-huh. Oh, you're right. Oh, it's going to be so great. It's going to be so great, girl. And then... Really, she's like, I gotta get sandwiches tomorrow, and I gotta get some ham. He's like, oh yeah, my dick feels like corn. You're like, wow! It's a dame cook line.

It's a tame cook line. Speaking of dicks that feel like corn, if you're going to take a dick that feels like corn, don't fuck a dick that feels like corn. Hey, hey. What if he's wearing, like, a textured condom? I don't know what I thought you were going to say, but it was a textured condom. Or an inverted masturbator sleeve. A fat boy. Can he not, bro? What? Can he not? Why would he do that? I mean... Okay, anywho. So, when you walk into a store, or if you're online, look.

don't get your lube from online retailers unless they are like the major ones like you know major companies like adam and eve or wicked or whatever because if you get them from like um big box stores or something like that, or something big box online retailers, you could be getting old junk from like some guy's basement that he's now made a business and he's selling them to you. Wow. That was very, uh,

scary stories to fuck in the dark look well another thing that's very important about being a wise lube consumer is when i first started working in the industry lube was lube no matter what there was no sort of fda guidance lines or anything on it and then within the last five years or so That is a thing. So if you're buying lube, whether it's lube that you've been buying for 20 years or not, and it's suddenly no longer being called.

sloppy wet lube it's now sloppy wet moisturizer um it's because they refuse to get their fda certs so if it doesn't say lubricant it It's because it hasn't been certified by the FDA to be safe for sex. So why are you going to put it in your bits? I'm just saying. Because at the end of the day, look, girls, women, or people who have inside bits, you put shit in there?

shit can go wrong same thing with a dude like if you you have a hole you have an opening so shit can go in there and you can fuck some shit up and unfortunately for dudes you never know when things are wrong until they're really wrong so always use lube always use toy cleaner exactly

If you don't remember anything from this mess of a podcast, it is always use lube, always use toy cleaner. That is the most important thing when it comes to self-love. really self-love because if you're fucking somebody else's three use a condom or some kind of birth control toy cleaner and lose protect your bits man no one wants gossip or her blades like could protect your bits

No, but seriously, like, so if you're going to walk into the store, right, you're like, okay, those three fuckers told me to get some lube. And you turn your head at any store, you'll see a wall of lube.

50 different kinds of lubes and shapes flavors textures names everything but there's what is there like generally speaking are we talking about like hybrids which is a silicone and water-based blend there's silicone which is just your straight up like man if you're trying to slide home and it's a rough go just put a little bit of that on there next thing you know you're slipping and sliding like a preschooler in the summer

You want to go hard in the paint and you go silicone. Yeah. And then there is your friendly neighborhood water base. That's like, you know, Mr. Miss Dependable. They're just like, hey, what's up, man? And you're like, hey, I don't know if I'm doing anal. if I'm doing bad, if I'm doing boobs, if I'm doing neck fucking. And water being like, I got you. Yeah, you just curl your neck. Neck fucking.

I feel like I have too much of a gap between my chin and my neck that I feel like this would be like a lot of this. Oh, that's when you hold your head forward and they get right underneath the chin. Yeah, girl, you can work situations. Alright.

I don't have time for all that. So this is the thing. When it comes to picking your lube, you got to kind of like keep your tears. So what are you going to do? Are you just hanging out with yourself and your toy? Be it a masturbator or, you know, a dildo or a vibrator, which are two separate things, which we'll cover later. Be it a prostate. Massage or whatever you're using Are you using that? Are you having sex? Are you having anal sex? Or are you doing oral? What are you doing?

And if you are like, well, I want to do oral and then also kind of want to have sex. That's a whole different category to make sure you do a certain type of. Because no one likes you guys. You want to pick the right candidate. for the position. That is not political. It's like a job interview. I love how I went job interview, you went political. It's like a job interview, but for Lou. Black vaggers matter. They do. Also, trans vaggers matter. All vaggers matter. Just vaggers matter.

But I think it is really important to kind of identify what is on the menu for that evening. So you can pick your condiments if you will. Okay, so... Okay, so if I walked in and I was like, hi guys, I really want to go to pound town in the brown. What should I do? You should look away because I'm going to laugh.

That's anal, by the way, guys. If you guys didn't catch my euphemism, pound, pound in the brown is anal. It's not pounding a black person. Although, never mind, never mind. It could be anal with a black person. Who knows? So. Yeah, you definitely want to figure out if you're going to do pound town in the brown, downtown in the brown, then you're going to need a silicone-based lube. I would suggest a silicone-based lube.

If it's your first time for anal. I'll disagree. It doesn't have to be. Silicone is definitely the best. You don't have to worry about reapplying it. But if there's any sort of like concerns about you care about anything in the room that you're fucking in, Silicon is not the loop for that. That's true. No.

You better fuck on a rubber mat. Like hotel room? Yeah, get yourself a lube. Hotel lube is a lot like frying chicken in a very small kitchen. It's gonna fucking get everywhere. It's going to stain your sheets.

You're not going to be able to get out of the room because you can't open the door. Because your fucking hand is just covered. You're going to need an oven mitt. Y'all remember when we broke that bottle of silicone-based lube at the cash wrap on the concrete? And so like... for a month as soon as you walked in there it was just like oh yeah man fucking uber lube okay so i personally say if you're gonna go because this happened a lot people will come in like

my man wants to try anal and um we'd be like well julie um and i don't want to feel a thing because i heard that that hurts and i don't want any got my poop shoot but my man wants it anyway Okay, Julie, that's fine. I want something that's going to numb it all up. No, you don't, Julie. Because if it's going to numb you, it's going to numb him. It means that shit's never going to end. Well, I mean, you could apply it.

beforehand with enough time for it not to numb him but if you're having sex where you can't feel anything then why the fuck are you having sex preach and just take a shot julie and fucking get my personal favorite because i feel like if gay men use it and they have a lot of a lot of a pound town in the brown or whatever i called it um i like pure was it pure

whatever it's some it's pure but i like to put the j in it um i prefer i like that one because it is you can do they have a couple different they have a hybrid they have a water base and a silicone base but it has like little beads in it to help you kind of Make your butt feel better when you want to have anal. Oh, isn't that what's in it? Yeah. Yes. I know my boobs. Yes, it is. It is. But I recommend that one. But that's just.

my personal opinion but I do think that I would say if anything if you want to go silicone because you don't want to reapply maybe do a hybrid My personal opinion, I would use a gel-based water-based. It's going to be thicker. And usually when I was talking to people who were wanting to experiment with anal sex, I would suggest a toy because upsell them dollars, y'all. Also, it does help having that little, this is just a little tiny butt plug before a dick.

We're going to have a whole episode on how to go downtown and brown town or whatever the hell I called it earlier. So don't worry about that. So next scenario, if you're playing with toys... I'm so sorry. Go. Go, go, go, go.

If you don't fucking pick your fucking anal lube, pick your butt lube. Here's the thing, though. I think that we are speaking about it in the context of anal, but... That's what I asked for. You didn't ask for just anal. Poundtown and Browntown. I said Poundtown to the brown. I'm going to have to go with pink silicone.

Okay. Pink is good. Pink reminds me of the pink lotion I put in my hair so I can never use it for my charge. Don't go with the wet platinum. It's a rookie mistake. Wet in general is a rookie mistake. To be clear. I hate that brand. Katie suggests, what would you suggest, Katie? Wicked's gel toy lube. Toy joy? Yeah.

Actually, I recommend gel because it's the same thing as Toy Joy. The Wicked Jelly? Yeah. It's the male masturbation stuff or whatever. It's over there. In the male section. It's the same shit. It's just in a different... A jelly is good because if you're going to be going between both doorways, then you don't have to worry about getting silicone in your badge, which I feel is always just like, man.

You're cleaning that shit out forever. But on the other end, you do have the silkiest vagina this side of the Mississippi. But as far as like... It's really smooth. They do make a water base and they do make a pretty good hybrid. But I really have like the water base and the silicone for anal. I mean, this is coming from my personal, like, boudoir experience, so y'all got the little nuggets of knowledge right there. I actually put it in my butt, and it worked great.

Nuggets of knowledge while talking about anal sounds really disgusting. Hey, hey. We've all done it. And so, and I recommend Pure. personally for that okay so scenario two um i really wanted to um maybe There's a reason for this. No, there's a reason for this. That come in and they've been married for how long they're like, you know, coming in. This is my. Yeah. Hi.

No, fine. Hi. I usually save... bjs for special occasions and my anniversary is coming up and i get really bored with them like what can i do i feel like i'm watching a video to apply for a job It's like, a customer comes in and then he asks, I haven't given a BJ in months. My mouth is drier than a Sierra. But my boyfriend wants to turn my throat into a daycare.

Yeah, I really, I feel like for the oral lube, you should have done the like, hey, man, I just like, I'm sorry. I'm just having, you know, it's April 20th. i just got a really bad mouth and i'm just like looking for something like you know my man's like all about oral but it's just like oh licking sandpaper He said he would pay my rent if I could give some If I could unhinge my jaw just a little bit. Oh, I didn't figure that out. Same girl. And Katie and Goh.

Dish it, girl. Give me that oral info. I feel like I'm just going to be a walking advertisement for this brand, but Wicked is fucking phenomenal. Their flavors, whoo, yes. Hallelujah. Preach. They only had one paper that I was like, I don't like it. And then within...

two months of launching it. They took it off. They revamped the formula. And I was like, this is fucking amazing. Okay. So you haven't done anything wrong. But for the sake of steering clear of like just one brand for me, I I'll give system Joe up.

pass because they were before wicked started releasing their flavors a really good brand um they also have the little bottles that aren't the pillow packs that you have to rip open and they're only good for one use it's a little one ounce bottle so you can get multiple

tries with the flavor to see if you like it um and it's also safe to use for vaginal sex i wouldn't do it but if you're one of those people that needs an all-encompassing I told somebody, so a lot of my, especially when we talk about like male things, I was that person who I would.

talk up something that from what I've been told and I would tell a guy like hey would you mind if like if you don't want if you don't want to do it that's totally cool but would you come back and tell me like how that worked out for you so that I can know So I can, A, not tell people I do anymore or tell them, hey, I've got people because I don't have some parts that's going to work out. But a girl came in and I told her that she can use, I think it was.

I think it was Joe, that she could use the Joe for both. And then she came back, and I remember her, and I was like, hey, you good down there? She said it was fine. So I'm assuming, I mean, that's just one vagina. But it says there's no sugar in them, so that's the big problem with a lot of the flavored lube. Yeah, if it tastes like candy, it's not good for your badge, girl.

It's got sugar in it. And you're going to get a UTI. You're going to get a yeast infection. You're going to have not a good time. Because there's no earthly way you got all of that fucking gloob off his dick. There's no way. No fucking way. Or if you wanted to put it on somebody's vagina, don't do that to her. Don't be a dick. Like sex tarts. Sex tarts doesn't have sugar in it. Sex tarts has demons in it.

Why does it taste like that? I think a lot of other flavored lubes with their sweeteners... It's what makes them taste kind of like coffee flavorings as opposed to like lube. Wicked is like notorious. They're so hit or miss with their flavoring. But I know me and Katie, when we recently went to Anonymous. anonymous store. Diagonally? Diagonally! Diagonally. That we were tasting some of the new Wicked lubes and it seems like they kind of got their shit together on flavors, but...

Their sweet ones were pretty sweet. Even though we know Wicked doesn't have any sugar. Well, I bring up the sex tarts. I thought that sex tarts, at least... Maybe when I first started it had sugars in it. Because I know specifically they had a second formula that was like, you know, sugar free or whatever. And I was like, bitch, say what? Do you know who has straight up sugar in it? What?

Yeah, I was going to say wet did. I think it still does. I don't know. I've never touched wet. It's sticky. It's gross. It's not good. No. No. And their silicone is gritty. Which FYI, silicone is made from sand. Like that's how you create silicone lube is something something process or sand involved. Why is your silicone lube gritty still? They're, they make probably, you know, some of, like, yeah, and I have some, like, I really love Uberlube.

but I keep ID Millennium by the bed. I feel like that's for silicone lube it's like the Rolls Royce of getting pounded round town. So final thoughts on if you just want to do oral

Possibly having penetration afterwards. Okay, I'm going to make a preference that I don't think we are all familiar with. It's Intimate Urge. And in my time when we were at a... when i was at a different store um it's an organic it's an organic line of lubes and they you know it's all natural but their flavored lube is really good

And it's naturally derived. I mean, you can't get away from the cherry cough syrup flavor in any lube. But their flavors are really good. And they made, like, their water bases were really silky. But I'm going to whip one out here because, you know. bitches. Oh yeah, I've never seen it. Is it flavored? So it is flavored. There we go. Nope. Bring it down. There we go. Oh, what flavor is that? Oh.

Side note, while you're pulling different flavors out, can we talk about if you just want to have regular old P in the V or regular old VV or regular whatever you want to do? Like, you want to just do regular lube or just do regular sex. Understand. Fresh. Fresh strawberry. Did I say bush? Oh. Okay. Some people like warming.

Some people don't. To me, it feels like my vagina's on fire. But, I mean, if that's what you want, that's what you want. A lot of guys like warming, like, for handies. But most women, most, not all, like... Of the three of us. I enjoy working every now and then. Hell no. But the problem is. That when you're thrusting. It kind of like.

your vagina kind of pushes all the lube to the base of the penis and then just around the opening of the cooch. So that's why you get that burning sensation. I'm just saying from like... personal experience. So it's better to use like, like I prefer more tingling, like Sinsuva. Yeah. Sinsuva. Yeah. In a lube now. And if you guys don't know.

about on will have to be like a whole little episode about simulators but girl you get you some on since super on get your life and they make like and the ice one the ice one get your life okay so as you can tell we have a lot of opinions about things and we'll have future episodes about them if you're interested if you are drop us a line um anywho so we have covered regular old sex we've covered backdoor lovin we've covered um fellatio and cunnilingus um also lube is great for

Loving yourself. Girl, don't even get me started. I thought you were going to say not sexual purposes. And I was like, oh, hell yeah. You can fix a bike chain. You can fix a door. It's good for you. It's also good for your thighs in Texas summer. Yes, Uber Lube was invented originally for people who ran marathons to stop the chafing.

bleeding there but as with anything people are like oh it's slippery i wonder if i can fuck with this and you can and so they repackaged themselves no longer be like a chafing serum and now they're

It's amazing. The lube is great, but really great for chub rub, guys. Like, if you have any kind of chub rub wherever you rub your chub, put it on there. But I think it's safe to say that I think you should have... you should have a silicone just in case you should have a water base if gel's your situation that's cool if you just want a regular degular water base as long as it's not fucking KY

I think we can all agree, as long as it's not KY or Astro Glide. Hey, hey! Gun oil's not bad! Or what's that one? The gun oil? Gun oil? But can I interject for one second? Isn't gun oil the sister of pink, isn't it? Maybe I'm just turned off by the actual container more than anything else. It's the container because gun oil is the exact same product as paint. It's just a masculine version of it. I can't do it. I'm just kidding. I would not.

Stop. Let me tell you guys a story. Way back, way back in the day. I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom and I had I was very like not knowing about anything about the sex really yes I called it the sex and so I didn't know anything much about it so I wasn't very well versed like I had like one piece of like lingerie and that was it and I had I bought a dildo but it had a smaller face on the tip and it weirded me out and then I never used it

My friend and I bought the same one. We were living in Maryland and we both called each other at the exact same time. Like, did you do the smiley face on the tip of it? I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. Yeah, it was right under the head, right?

Anyway, so I wanted to try to try something different. So I went to the store, the big box one that starts with a W, and I bought a cock ring. And some lube. Because apparently that's where it sold cock rings. Who knew? So I bought some lube. Because I saw the commercial for it. I bought the KY. The intimate one. The his and her. Whatever it was.

so that's when i realized i wasn't warming anything so we put that on he puts it on him the his on him but the her on me and we bang and i'm like this just feels really uncomfortable oh and then it's a gradual feeling of death in your own bits like it's It's like when you eat a spicy chip and you think, yeah, it wasn't too bad. So you eat another spicy chip and then you realize the burning starts to come from inside the house. It starts to graze up and now your whole mouth is on fire.

That's how my chotch felt. Legit. And then I was like, I don't like this. And then it was sticky. God, KY is the fucking worst. If all the lube, if you want to go, all the lube you can get in your whole entire life, that, that is the worst. I'm going to say, like, devil's advocate. It's the sticking with the grossest shit in the entire life.

And I don't know if it's, like, the person, and he's probably listening to this right now, but he fucked the shit out of me with that lube, and that shit was bomb as fuck. I remember, like...

No, it was like both. It was a combination. I mean, he was really good in bed, but it was like the lube enhanced that because it was tiggly. But I... was like rolling over looking in the fucking bag like wait a minute what fucking did you just pull out Mad Hatter and girl he fucked the shit out of me with that and like subsequently a few times afterwards I like

it was so good to me i went back for more but overall i feel that ky as a brand um is very like god man that's like in a pinch like in a fucking like Okay. This is what I'll equate it to. The sandwich I just ate before we started this podcast, it wasn't gross. It just was missing some things. It could have been better.

Maybe that's what KY is. KY is, it's not granted, okay, we tracked my statement. Maybe I got a bad batch, or maybe it was just bad sex. We're not together anymore. Pick your poison. But it's just missing something. Like, my sandwich was great. It was good. It needed pickles. It needed lettuce. It needed something else. And I didn't have it because my refrigerator doesn't have it. It was with KY. KY just needs something else.

else so if you have if you're having mediocre sex it's not going to help you have any better sex if you're already having bomb sex then it's going to probably make you have bomber sex But I don't know. I don't know. I have also used like on or Joe's cooling. And it made okay sex just a bit better. Because that tingling, let me tell you.

Well, and something that I've said a lot working at the store was that KY and Trojan, Trojan's another one, they make lube. They shouldn't, but they do. And they focus on the quantity rather than the quality because they have the commercials because they are sold in big box stores. Like people are going to buy them.

And for anyone who's looking for lube or looking to try something new, always, always, always go to your local little, like... friendly neighborhood sex store and try things like the sales associates there if it's a good store are there to help you will happily be like no like let's put some on your finger and like see this one's starting to get sticky and this one's you're never going to get it off your hand but

That's what you get with silicone. Don't be afraid to ask the questions. Really don't. And sometimes I think people stick with stuff at big box stores because they're afraid to go. They didn't get the toilet paper. They get their Cheetos. They get... their huggies and then they hide their lube underneath all of that and then they go to the self-checkout and they discreetly go away but no one has to know their secret chain but they have fucking sex

Because a lot of people, you're kind of set up to fail in the lube department from the time you learn about lube. Because KY and Trojan are the main brands that are showcased to you. But there's such a variety of brands.

brands and it's kind of like you know shoes like everybody wears shoes everybody has feet but you may not be a heels maybe into like fucking blitz boots you may be into some docs and you might need something that can fucking get you through a doc martin situation like i don't know gun oil

No, but I definitely think it is important because you're fucking. And I think one of the things that we want to convey is like fucking above all else should be enjoyable for all parties. And lube is definitely. a way to kind of get, get, get the slip, like get it going and get the slip.

and like we've got to stop this lube shaming to where people are like oh i don't need lube i'm 19 i'm like yeah but like it doesn't matter if the fans on maybe some things just aren't going right lube helps or like oh no like i'm not that old yet i don't need lube yet well bitch she's 19 and she's using it so what what does it matter like you're ready to go

but your body is not ready to go and you just got to get something to help get the start get it started you know what i mean like you just want to can we just go ahead and get this done let me just you know what i mean some sometimes you just need sometimes you are ready to go but your body said not today satan medication could be it happening or life could be happening or maybe you're just real turned on but your vagina is just not and that's fine you know what i mean like but as long as you

I want people to get from this podcast that sex is something you should be ashamed about. It shouldn't be something that you need to be hiding under your huggies and your gosh darn. No. Like, if you want to have...

If you want to have sex, everybody does it. And everybody's doing some form of sex. Man, ain't that what I'm saying? So why don't you do it well? Do it right and do it educated. Because I think we all had points where we kind of... have had bad sex and when you don't understand like we're older now like I'm definitely in my mid-30s uh vanity you're in your do you want me to say okay and Katie is but a young girl in her

late twenties. So, I mean, we've all had bad sex. And until honestly, until I started working in the industry, I was really like, I had bought beef. That was probably the most.

Vance I had went was to buy a lube at a sex store but actually working in one kind of opened my eyes to like oh it's okay to like have more than one lube that doesn't make me a freak that just makes me like educated and fucking understanding of my body and like one lube ain't a swiss army knife sis like it's not gonna work out every like if i want

a dick between my titties like a water-based lube is gonna dry out in at least fucking 10 minutes and then you're slobbing all along your titties which may be aesthetically pleasing to some men but you end up looking like i don't know a rabbit fucking dog I never have enough spit for that. Oh. I feel like I'm always having a permanent dry mouth. That's why you gotta suck the dick first. Get your salivation juices going.

You got to hit the back of the throat to get the thick spit. We all know what I'm talking about. You got to get the thick spit. You know what I'm talking about. But no, but honestly, though, like, it's very, like, I think before I started working out. at a Diagon Alley, I definitely didn't know anything, and I was very, like, kind of shut off from, I knew one way to get to the road, and that was it. And I was like, okay, well...

And I just assumed that it was just me. Like that was just something that's supposed to happen. And then I realized once I started working there that there are so many different ways, so many different roads to get to that one place that you don't have to just take that one you know. And you can find different ones. And sometimes the reason why things aren't working out for you is because you're not...

Oh, go ahead. I was going to say, I was kind of spoiled in the fact that I started working in this industry when I was 20. i took a class in college that was uh human sexuality and i was like i want to work at this or a store and i just applied i got hired and i spent the vast all my early 20s into my mid 20s working for Diagon Alley. And so like the sex that I was having, that was bad. Luckily, I was too inexperienced to really know any better. And like being there really like.

because you're working around it all day you know what's out there you know to expect better like don't settle there is better There's better sex, there's better lube, there's better toys. Unless you are enthusiastically consenting to all of your experiences, you're not really having good sex. then change your experience. And if you're not happy with whatever your situation is, and your partner is not willing to help you become happy, i.e. they're like, oh, you ain't no lube, you got me.

dump him listen to some lizzo and get you some good lube you need to you need to and or even if you want to bring something into the room and it's your female partner and she's like man you don't need nothing Okay, that's fine. Well, ma'am, I don't need you. Because at the end of the day, if you want to try something, they're not willing to do it. As long as it's not like, you know, puppies or kitties. Oh, no. Why would you take it there?

Just took it to a real dark place. Those are my... I'm just saying, as long as you're not doing something that is just straight off the wall, nuts at crazy, then...

They shouldn't be looking at you like you're afraid. You definitely want to maintain consistent open-mindedness throughout your sexual romps. I think um now if you're not down for something if you're not down for pound town the brown that's just not your jam then you have every you know right to say no shut up you three crazy bitches what do you know nothing's going in my butt but

It's definitely important to be open-minded and not deny yourself of something you may enjoy in a very consenting arena. But yeah, and I think that's one of the things that... when you know we were talking about having a podcast it's one of the things that's really important to me because I'm from originally California and it it is very sex is everywhere and so coming to where I am now um

Even being in the sex shop, even like fucking for as long as I have, and then being in the sex shop and having women that are double my age in their 40s and their 50s coming in and not understanding that like within sex, you have a choice. And that choice should always be for it to be enjoyable. It's not a chore. And if it feels like a chore, hashtag you're doing it wrong. And to have women who not.

not know that their clitor is still on the outside of their body or not know that like there is different kinds of lube and lube is an actual option especially when you're older and maybe you suffer from vaginal dryness that it's not your fault like You have options. You have things that you can do to make your sex life more pleasurable. So why not do them and why not just be comfortable in your skin, comfortable in your vagina?

Put a finger down there. Explore yourself. Since you're going to be with that vagina for the rest of your life. And guys. Hey, you're going to be with that dick and that booty hole for the rest of your life. And a lot of guys don't want to be talking about that. But lube is very much just, it's a guy thing as much as it's a girl thing, whether you're hetero, sexual, them, they, their.

Can you guys hear me? No, you can't. Why does Katie look suspicious? Well, that's a thing. And on that note, guys... Love yourself. Love everybody else. Always use lube. Don't love everybody else. Be selective about who you love. Oh. Be selective about who you love. Be selective about your lube as you are about your sexual partners. You have to live with those memories. All right, guys. Thanks for stopping by. Don't forget, always grab that lube, toy cleaner, and batteries.

And as always, you can slide into our DMs at lazy DT pod at gmail.com or find us on Instagram at lazy dirty talk. For any inquiries, questions, anything else you might want to let us know, comments and concerns, all that. If you hated it, let us know. If you loved it, let us know. If you have something you really want us to talk about, let us know. We will talk about it because we don't give a shit.

Oh dick pics are about to be illegal so don't send those. What? Yeah. And if you do I will share them. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. If you think I'm joking. fucking send me one i will fucking draw a face on it tag you and your mom in it because i will find you and i will out you on that note guys uh i'm gonna Slide into bed. It's nighttime. I'm going to sleep, you dirties. Can I slither in? Oh, God, Katie. Oh, God.