Super you are watching or listening to Laura Kane after Dark the podcast, Thank you so much. We're going on our fifth year doing this thing, and uh, we're not going to even mention my co hosts attire just yet. Okay. If I didn't know better, i'd say you're gay or something. I feel like Liberaci. Okay, Oh my god, Now I just gotta look at myself in the Okay, let's do this first. Let's do Let's talk about Jay Wertzler for because he's one of our fine sponsors. Then we'll
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and their special treatment planner. That's glamfam dot com. Okay, as you can see, Eric has something sparkly and weird on. This is a one piece outfit. I don't know. Can you like? There? You go? Oh my god? Can you see your Wait? Wait? Wait, let me see fight. You can see your you know what kind of Okay, you better not like no, it's not see outline a VP. You're not wearing under that right? Oh my god, he doesn't wear Oh no no, I'll never well, I would never wear that anyway. Where I
want to? Where would you ever? Where? Now? Good question? Let me I have to start you guys explaining to do I do? This is my host chap, So go through that closet. Now, this is gonna this. I'm gonna start somewhere and they're gonna be like, what this? What does this have to do with this? But it's all comes back to this. So my when I went to see my mom and my sister in Temecula when Charlie was here in Evan. They have to see their grandmother.
We meet in Temecula because that's halfway between Rancho Cucamonga and San Diego. So my mom and sister were telling me. My mom casually mentioned to my sister, I've always wanted to see New Orleans. My mom's eighty two. She has her faculties. She's like smart as a whip. She looks great. She's a little wobbly, she can't walk too far, but my sister thought, you know what I'm gonna I'm just gonna see how much this would be to take her on her last trip really ever to New Orleans. So
long story short, dude, dude, she got the tickets. They're going. Yes, there, she's my sister is taking my mom to New I have goosebumps right now on the twenty second of September. Oh my school, I've always wanted to go to New Orleans. Oh see, I've been there many times because we used to have our radio morning show boot Camp. It was a morning show throughout the country would meet every year and have a big conference and would meet in New Orleans, and oh my god, would we
get drunk. We would get wasted because they have these things called hurricanes in a big glass. You can just drink it on the street, Bourbon Street. You walk up and down and you just get loaded, loaded, and it smells like piss and vomit. But it's also very cool at the same time, delightful. Doesn't matter. Do you just have a bad burp? Yeah? Oh no, Spicy one. Oh no, it's all right. It's still hitting yet they're still hit Spicy one. Okay. So anyway,
I'm thinking to myself, I asked my sister. I said, is this just a you and mom thing? Or if I managed to wing it or make it work, can I meet you guys? Ericause, what am I ever going to be able to go to another state with my mom again? Right? So? I thought, Okay, think think think Laura, think think think. So I said, I have a garage full of my old clothes. I have done nothing. There's I sell some of them on posh Mark, But like you know, like T shirts and sweatshirts, that's there's
such little things. It's kind of a pain in the ass to sell the small stuff. I have tons of stuff. Plus I have other stuff that people have given me to give away. Long story short, My kitchen right now is full of all the clothes that I'm going to sell at the Spring Valley Swap Meet on Saturday. Like hotcakes. Now this particular item, So mebe there Spring Valley Swat Meat. I'm selling a whole bunch of stuff.
Yeah. Antonio, who lives here, he's one of my roommates. Had a girlfriend who had a bag of clothes that she wanted to donate to the cause, and this piece was in one of the bags. This was actually worn out by someone. This is kind of like her style. So I when I saw this, I also put it on because you can't help but want to put it on. I see what it looks like. It's weird, right, I mean it's it's where would you wear it to a club or to dinner? You wouldn't wear this to dinner span showily. Oh,
I don't even know. But the funny thing is the fact that the knockers are covered right here with this big gaping Yeah, so you can see see it's not real. It's just skin colored. You can't really see, so you can't even see your wiener or anything. I'm you're good, So we're good. Yeah. But anyway, so this is one of the pieces I'm selling. Come on out Spring Valley Swamp. You know what time I have to get there with the truck loaded with all my crabs, set it all
up, put it. I've I've put everything in fifty cents, one dollar, three dollars, five dollars, and then I'm hanging some things that still have tags on them. What is this going for fifty cents? No, I think that I think that's five dollars. Oh, I think this could go for five dollars. I might even say ten. You might pay someone five dollars to take it. I know, right, So I mean to get there's a great it's such a great color on me. It is unique.
I mean, it really washes me out in the best way. I feel like you should post a picture, like you should print out a picture of like set like someone wearing it. Oh, do you want to take a picture of meat in it? And then this is what you could look like in it? Absolutely and print it out women, yeah, oh, and put it up on my okay, because you have to you rent.
This is what I've I've never done this before, a swap meat. But apparently you have to get there at like four o'clock in the morning, and you wait in a line, and then there's like a long line of people waiting to get in to sell their crap, right, and you buy a space for I think it's like twenty five bucks or something. So I might need two spaces or one space. I don't know if there's like some furniture I have to sell too. Oh is that horrible leopard chair going? No?
But but oh is that going? Oh? I don't know. I have kind of grown fond of it. My god, the egg chair that I recovered, Oh my god, get that. It's kind of become a piece in my in my house that I that I look out every day. So I might sell the egg chair too. I don't know, it just depends. But anyway, that's why all that stuff in my kitchen because I've been sorting and I hope to make enough money to get to New Orleans. That's my goal so I can be with my mom and my sister on the
twenty second of September. Do you think I can do it? Anybody? Do you believe in me? Yeah? I do? Thank you. Okay, that's my host chat and that's why Eric is wearing that, because of course, of course he put that on. Who are you texting my maintenance supervisor? Can you tell it? Well, there's an emergency here? You're wearing that? Will you fill us in on what's going on? Or is
it? Probably? I guess there's like a really big party that but you're not at work right now, I know, so you are you like a twenty four seven type of worker where they contact you? But I guess it's really out of so do we need to call the police? Are you telling him to call the police. I love this. Yeah, sorry, diving into Eric's professional affairs. Well, no, he's doing this on the another job. Hello, this job that pays the bills. Look at looking Look
at how talented I am. You are so multa crazy. All right, Wow, you're gonna well that thing? You know what? No, I can't sell that. Imagine if he needs to take a ship from that pep that chip and he has to find a way to either get out of that or just rip a hole. Why can't you sell door? Why couldn't you sell the bull sweats all over it? There? You can't throw that in the washing machine. It has like little sparkles all over it. Then I guess I just need to your your What would you do? What would you
do if I wore this home? I would If you send us a video if you're shutting down that party wearing that, I would, oh, one thousand percent. Let you What are the chances of you wearing that home and walking through your Oh, where are you going to walk through your apartment complex wearing that? Just dick bulging at the semi transparent. Probably not no, because if you try to break up the party wearing that They're gonna be like, hey, boys, you need to shut that down now, and they'll
be like, come on in, look at you. You're ready at a party. I'm like, yeah, all right, oh my god, now, yes, I'm gonna be bossy right now. Huh. I like you haven't been before? And I know I'm very I've been very bossy today. I'm sorry, But can we please, as your host chat I don't know what you were going to talk about, but can we get an update on this fella? Yes? Right here? I would be happy too. Okay, So how long ago? Was this? A month? Month, six
weeks ago? I don't even know? Now? Is something is something still coming in the mail for me? Is something happening with Keanu Reeves? Yes? Is it losing steam? Is it gaining steam? Steam? Woo? Gaining steam? As in that third mic might be occupied gaining steam, possibly with this gentleman, possibly a larger version of him, perhaps one next foot four version. Oh my god, I want to date him. He's taken, though I know he is. He looks really happy if when he comes
on the show. He seems like the coolest, most chill guy ever. But anyway, six one, wow, perfect, perfect, I can wear heels and stuff when we go out. Now I'm into It's like, you are this photograph. You received a photograph from him, his camp, his people, or the person that you know who knows him his camp Okay is agent? Oh okay, that's so generic. Okay, it's a you can't really let me see it up close, right, I'm coming over there.
It's a photo of him playing the guitar with his band Dog Star last night. Well, why isn't he in here this today if he was here last night? Oh oh oh oh? You know how long his band has been around a long time since Okay, when the Republican National Convention was down town. This was nineteen ninety six. I think his band was playing at Planet Hollywood, which used to be downtown. That's how that's how long he has been in that band. I just want to say, that picture is not
convincing at all, Crisis averted, it's not I that's not impressive. He's not impressed. So what that picture could have come from? Anything? It could have come from anywhere about like, why are you showing us that picture? Because I got it last night from his camp. I mean, look, okay, look at the picture. So is this. Wait, which camp is this? Is this the actor camp or is this his music camp? I would say, let's see somebody involved in his public relations? So
it is pr person. Okay, this is good. We're getting more nuggets of information. Does Keano Reeves know the name Laura Kane after Dark? Yes? Wow, that's a's cool. That's okay, that's that's really great because you when you saw him and you spoke directly to his face, you mentioned it. Yeah, well, of course I'm so glad you did that. And what on the twentieth of September. Yes, what Oh, this isn't about Keanu Reeves. But yes, I'm saying, all right, we're going
to be hanging with our Jason Stewart. He's trying to uh veer away from I'm trying to I'm trying to whale tale. He's not. He's trying to veer away because obviously there's something that's secretive that he can't say. Right, So, I don't think there is anything secret. I think he just doesn't have anything else to say. I he's looking pretty smug, Brian. He always looks smug. Sometimes he looks fake smug. This is real smug,
all right, This is real smug. Well I'm waiting. So. Jason Stewart and Mitch Harra we've had on the podcast several times throughout the years. They're hysterical, hysterical. Jason Stewart is a comedian who also has a show on Amazon called Smothered with Mitch Harra. He's going to be performing at the La Joya comedy club on the twentieth and we're going do you want to go on Tuesday? Yeah, it's like a it's a school night, family outing, Oh my god, this is eight, and then we can like it's
September. That's a Wednesday, Oh Wednesday? Okay, well anyway, still still night. I'll see what time is. It's at eight? Yeah, I can make them come on. Yeah, I can do. You're twenty three, you can do anything, ready to you can you can stay up all night? No, I have worked the next day. Some of us have a consistent job for us. Hey, no, I meant that you're young enough where you can stay up late and go to work. Ear okay, all right? Fun fun, fun, fun, all right, I
like it. I like it. What's so, what's going on with the party? What happened? What you're on the phone. Yes, it's been crisis has been reverted. How so h it has been broken up? Oh bomber for somebody. Yea, they wanted to have a pre Labor Day party and now it's gone. Yeah, note to yourself, you can't have fun at Eric's apartment. Coma so only let's not even eight o'clock. Ye broke up a part seven. Yeah, he's like they were getting real control.
We heard talking, I know right, we had we heard footsteps above Hawaiian anyway, all right, before we get to we're playing the game. Would you rather the filthy version? Oh? Great? Okay, and I'm going to give you guys the rules to the game. But we need to talk about first our sweet and wonderful Megan Route from Milestone Properties, who I have a lunch date with this week because we're going to talk about putting together some kind of community event. We don't know what it is yet, but this
is how cool she is. This is her idea. She wants the podcast and her to come together to get like, you know, vendors out there, like something really cool like that. So we're going to talk about that. But Megan Route from Milestone Properties is a real estate agent she's a broker two. She got her start in nineteen ninety six, but she has had Milestone Properties her own company since two thousand and four. It's not impossible to own a home in San Diego right now. For sure. She's been through
markets. She's been doing this long enough where she's seen she's seen the down. She knows what's kind of gonna happen, and she knows how to fund you. If that's something that you're having difficulty with. There are different ways to do it, and she knows how to do that. And she is the nicest person and she will. She gives like a concierge type service. She does it all basically, and she's so easy to talk to you, super down to earth. I love her. What is her phone number?
Her phone number is six one nine six five four six nine eight zero. And if you'd like to email Megan, it's M. E. G. A. N at Milestone PROPERTIESCA dot com. All of that on Laura Kane after Dark dot com if you missed it, and Milestone Properties helping California plant roots for almost thirty years. I love it. He too. Now on Saturday, I'm going to be doing a walk. Oh no, wait, I can't do the swap meets. Wait wait oh man, well m I know, I know. No. I am seeing a walk on the ninth
This walk and it's going to be really fun. It's at Crown Point and it's for women's heart health. And here's more about it. I want you to register and walk with me. We want you to mark September ninth, Saturday on your calendar because we are going to be walking for a great cause. The seventh Annual Scheddaddle for Research happens at Crown Point at nine pm. I will be the MC. Opening ceremonies are at eight thirty eight m.
Register by August eighteenth to guarantee that you get this year's T shirt. SCAD, or spontaneous coronary artery dissection, is a little known cause of a heart attack. Most patients are young, healthy and active women who do not have a typical risk factor of heart disease. SCAD is the number one cause of heart attacks and women under the age of fifty. This is very important, so go to our website Loricane after dark dot com to register. Everybody gets
a metal. It's gonna be so much fun. Lurcane after dark dot com look for the link. Stop it so if you want to register seriously, it'd be really it's gonna be really fun. You get a T shirt A metal It's awesome. Laurcane after dark dot com. There's the link and put Laura five to get five dollars off real quick, Eric, because your stomach starting to bother you at all a little bit. I'm starting to get wet. It's rumbling a little bit. Yeah, it's getting a little like rumbling
like you're hungry, or rumbling like just like stuff's going on. Yeah, yeah, a little churning. I don't feel bad, but I can tell that my stomach is dealing with something. It's a little sour. Either one of us rushed to the restroom. You know why? Yeah, which end? Well, probably not both the front Yeah, we're oh no, the bathrooms right there, and you need to use that one. I'm using yours. My roommate's not the hair right now, I'm gonna use you don't know.
You're not going upstairs. You are not going upstairs. Absolutely, I'm good. It could it could hit anytime you have. You've never done this before, so you have no idea. And you guys did pound some food we did. There's stuff in there to be released. It's good. I know you didn't you had almond milk, which you liked, and it's gonna be good. It's gonna be released in your upstairs bathroom. That's Trader Joe's Almond milk by the way. So just so you know, I'm just so
you know. Okay, we're gonna play a quick game would you rather? I know I'm feeling like, oh no, oh no, we need someone to run the show. Okay, I'm gonna give you you know what, there's like this whole game, but what I'm gonna do is I'm just gonna give you would you rather? Or There's also another section where I ask you guys for something like a Walking Dead character or a strange animal, and you have to give it to me. I put it in and I'll explain.
Okay, okay, so here we go. I'm gonna shuffle these and you guys have to answer, and you have to you have to answer also what you think we would answer. Do you understand We're gonna go around the room. We're gonna say I think Brian is gonna say he would rather do this, And then I'm gonna say I think Eric would say he'd rather do that. Okay, and then we'll guess and see how this goes. I don't know. This is like a game I got, but it's like you have
to play with four people. We only have three, all right? Would you rather have sex with a homeless person or be homeless for a year. Let's sit with that. Hold on, is suicide an option? No, A have sex with a homeless person or be homeless for a year? I guess the first one. I'm supposed to guess which one. Oh, you're gonna say. I don't understand this game. I don't either, but we're gonna trick. So you're supposed to guess which everyone what everyone else would answer?
Yeah, I think you will pick the first one. I would I would have sex with a homeless person. Being homeless for a year that's a long time. That's a long, long long time. So you would rather have sex with a homeless person? If I and by sex would a handy j count? No, I don't know. Okay, mmmmm, he'll pick the first one. Now I'm gonna do this other there's like a different way you can do it. Give me a bodily feature. Oh uh, pooping, all right, that's good. That's not a bodily feature. Would be
like your eyes or yours or something, I mean a body part. It says features. It says feature. Pooping is a feature of the human body. It doesn't make sense with the sense. Okay, ner weener okay, and then any bodily sense. Would you rather be born with an extra wiener or be born without any weener? Smell? Oh? The second one? That's amazing, This makes no sad, this is stupid. I'm not playing the second kind. Would you rather tell a bad joke in a room full
of strangers or tell the dentist? Oh, tell the dirtiest joke you know to your grandmother? First one, I'm supposed to guess, and you know what, Sorry, you'd pick the first one. I would think that you would never do that to your grandmother correct or your mother? Correct meeting from my mom, but you would prefer not to. It makes your uncomfortable, And I like that. That's funny to me. I think that you would pick a because you like you like telling jokes, and and I wouldn't care.
Somebody you would not care, would you? They're a go down on Queen Elizabeth The second, or go down on the Titanic. Well, I'm is that like a subliminal for like a male stripper or something. You're dying? I think we're not necessarily there were survivors. If you go down on the Titanic. I don't think that means you survive, means you go down, You went down and then you floated on a Not necessarily, but I think I'm pick the first. Yes, and she's alive at this point,
she's alive. Okay, I'll pick the second. You'll go down Titanic you would rather suffer tremendously in freezing cold water, possibly die, possibly die, probably die hanging on for your deer life, and eat a ninety year old vagina. Yes, done, going down on the Titanic. Wow. I respect the dedication to his hatred of that, not just I don't hatreds distaste. There you go. I have to move all the cobwebs and the tumble. I mean you are a gold star a, aren't you, which means
never with a woman? Okay A or b A. Would you rather have one dollar more than you'll ever need or every dollar in the world, every dollar in the world? Is that the same thing? Wait? What's the first one? Would you rather have one dollar more than you'll ever need or have every dollar in the world that depends I know that I need is interesting, but like want like with like want to buy a Lamborghini? Im I canna get everything plus one dollar? Or is it just you know what I
need plus a dollar for a basic food? In other words, I think we'd all choose B. Yeah, I think so, Yeah, Okay. Would you rather only be allowed to dine at a restaurant by yourself or only be allowed to eat without the use of your hands at a restaurant? I'm guessing you guys would say A yeah, yeah, I can eat. You know what I can do. I can go to dinner by myself. I don't have a problem with going to the movies by myself. Gets me depressed.
Well, here's the thing I can't if you if the alternative is you have to eat at a restaurant without your hands, you're gonna be eating by yourself anyway, because no one's gonna eat with you. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. Would you rather a always say the word asshole as you are sneezing or always say the word mommy as you're passing gass. Oh, well god, I say both. Yeah, not mommy, that's for sure. You guys pick a n V. No, I'm
not picking am or No, I'm picking a asshole. Asshole. Nice sneeze. Yeah, I can hide that. You can hide, Yes, you can can't hide mommy when mommy, oh mommy. I know he calls me mommy anyway. He calls me mama. The other night he called me and only repeated the word mama, mama. I hung up on him three times. You are so annoying sometimes would you rather a toggle on and off all the lights in your house when you sneeze or cause a citywide electrical blackout when
you orgasm? Oh? The second one? I know what was the first one? Toggle on and off the lights in your house when you sneeze, So they just they automatically shut off first one second one's way more destructive. It is destructive. You're right. It would be kind of cool in a way. I don't know, it's just that, but we need a report about how it feels. Well. Yeah, if it'll probably come out like red, I think that'll be a different issue than the pepper. Let's see
what happens. Okay, all right, this is our first bathroom trip since the chip. I know, but we don't know. We don't know if it hurts the pea hole too. It might hurt the p hole. It might hurt the hole. Have you even gone yet? I'm afraid. Okay, I'll ask you this while he peas. Would you rather have your friends hate your soulmate or have your soulmate hate your parents? Just pretend your parents were alive. Oh, I'd rather have my significant other not like my parents
than your friends. Yes, yes, because that's your chosen family. Yes, that's how you work, and that's who you would probably spend more time doing things with your friends are, rather than your parents if your parents live in another state or something. Okay, would you rather have your Would you rather have sexual skill be part of your essats or have your sexual history affect your credit score? Geez? Wow my okay, my credit score is already low, like, and my track record right now is dry. So I'm
telling you I think that I would rather have a me too. Okay. Would you rather only eat gruel? Whatever that is? It sounds horrible, and I think it probably is. Do you know what's in gruel. Spell it g r u e l g r r. It's probably like porridge. You know what porridges. It's got to be something gross if it's a cream of wheat kind of thing, or have some have the same horrifying nightmare every time you sleep, eat gruel for the rest of your life, or have
the same horrifying nightmare every time you sleep. Oh, gruel, it's just it's literally porridge, and porridge is just like it's just like oats, and well then gruel. Yeah, it's probably what I eat anyway, it's beige, Okay, choosing that one for sure? For sure. Okay, let's just make note that Brian has not come out of back now. Peeing doesn't take that long. No, would you rather wear Lady Gaga's meat dress? Remember that? Or where Katy Perry's whipped cream shooting bravery shooting? Yeah?
For sure that that meat dress was and I don't like meat, so that probably offended a lot of people, but it was also artistic, it was and very Lady Gaga. Would you rather? I think I think you're going to choose a on this one, give a Ted talk naked? Oh done? Do I even need to read the other one? No, or have all your clothes ripped off? During an interview on The Tonight Show. Oh gosh, you like you like both of these? Yeah, I did ted
talk. You would do an entire ted talk that would be on YouTube and live forever. Completely nude, sure, almost nude. Now, this man has no problem down in the South area. He's got something he wants to show. He got something he wants to show everything. I'm not gonna be holding it in my hands, I know. But if you had a little weener, you wouldn't want to do that. You know what. I'm probably not exactly. Hey, would you rather go to heaven but the food sucks?
Or would you rather go to Hell but the food is amazing? Uh? Well, I think I'd rather go to heaven. Yeah, I know, I don't really want to eat it that much anyway. No, I wouldn't want to. I want to look super good. Brian, you took a little bit more time than the normal person takes to take a whiz. So what happened? What happened? So now? I but I wanted to make you guys think it was going bad. Also, my stomach was a little rum but I was like, I'm just gonna stick here for a second.
You sat down on the Okay, nothing came out and the pe hole didn't sting. No, Okay, I don't know. I don't know what I don't think. I don't know if it could be true. Okay, no good. How's your stomach feeling and are are you feeling poopid? I fish? I feel like I do have like a like not not my stomach. Yeah, and you guys ate you ate a piece of more? Yeah, I'm feeling a little like I feel like I have acid reflux like a keep. Oh do you want the peptobismal? No? And why not like
that? I think I brought tombs. Oh, I'll read a couple more of these and then we'll end. Okay, so you guys can relax because dang, this is the filthy version. Yeah. Would you rather have a spetun in your kitchen or a diaper pail full of diapers in your dining room? Oh? God, a spetun in my kitchen? Yeah? I know both are super gross gross. Would you rather die the coolest death possible without anybody seeing it, or die the dumbest death possible with the world watching.
I would rather die the coolest death possible, because then everybody would talk about because they and it would be legendary. Well, even if nobody knows. I'd rather die in complete isolation than with everyone watching me die stupid. I agree with you. Yeah, Okay, one more and then we'll end. Because I like these I'm burning these cards. Would you rather be famous for nothing or infamous for the right reasons? Oh? Like? What? Like?
Famous for nothing like Kim Kardashian like infamous? This is the right reason because infamous is not a good thing. Exactly infamous is you? You are what's that guy's name who killed a punch of people, had cult up? Okay manson, So either you are Kim Kardashian or Hitler. Oh right, I'm gonna go with Kim Kari. I'm going Kim Kardashian. I'm gonna go Kim Kardashi Okay, yeah, I'm gonna I had another segment, but you know what, I'm gonna not do this because I'm gonna give you guys a
break this week just because of what your bodies have been through. I want you to properly eliminate. I want you guys to be able to do that in your own individual hall what's happening? Are you getting what's happening? I'm like, are you getting up to do it right now? Don't do it in my house. I kind of want you guys to go home to do your puffing. I will be shortly, Okay, I may have to just
wear this out now. Oh my god, Eric, can I please take a picture of you running up and down the street in this out shirt? Oh? I love it. Okay, We're gonna do that next. I'll post that. I'll post up for you guys. All right, thank you so much for watching, Thank you so much for listening. Thank you to our sponsors. Please subscribe to our channel. We sure would love it, and we really appreciate your support. And with that, love your podcast,
Love your podcast, I love you, My sweet babies. Back next week with Brian's wild Card. Oh yeah, baby, see love you