The Possessed Doll UPDATE

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Hi.

Welcome, look am I doubt wow?

Welcome to Laura Kane after Dark.

I'm Laura Kane and these are her boobs. This shirt is a little bit more sheer than I thought it was gonna be.

Put it that way, Do not do what I do and just do a quick once over in front of my mirror.

You'd never do that. I always have VPL because you don't wear underwear anyway. That's Eric Rimmer, Hi, and you're right underneath your name.

Look at that.

Oh my god.

And we have producer Brian.

I love the new backdrop, by the way.

Do you really? Okay? So I needed to take down all the Halloween decorations and I did that furiously today and I'm like, what.

Am I going to stick up there?

So I just I have blackout curtains in my room, so I took two of them and I stuck them up here. And I just I found some stuff and I got these like little signs made. They were there's one of his producer Brian. But I don't know, Brian, I don't know where to put it, like like you.

Like on your head? Like should you just wear it like as a.

Like a big chain?

Put it? You want to want to go on, You want to be a big boy and be on the big the big, big backdrop.

Above your guys' names.

He can he can be underneath me, okay right there?

All right?

Well I'm the top okay too?

Oh yeah, as you will see Abigail is joining us.

God, that thing is still here.

We have an update on.

Are we She seems happy.

With Abigail and has anything happened. We'll let you know in just a minute. In fact, we have a special guest joining us to talk about it. Okay, and I have some Oh, and then I have I also have something to read about haunted dolls.

Oh.

Election day is Tuesday, and so everybody is freaking out or not freaking out or whatever. But we're going to play a game called the voting game. It has nothing to do with politics. That's what we are. We are your escape from all the insanity that's going on right now.

As far as the election, I told him to be what.

Let's know in the comments that you're voting for.

We are not a political show. We don't do that. That's why we purposely don't saving now. We also gained an hour of sleep.

Yes, okay, it's getting dark at fucking four.

I don't care.

I love this time of year.

We need to get rid of daylight saving No, so.

Daylight saving time ended yesterday, dumb. And if you're feeling it right now, you're not alone. The people who feel that the most of the generation Boomers.

Feel they're racing up at like three am now.

Then gen xers, that's us. Yeah, we're feeling it. Uh the no wait boomers, the most fifty four percent of gen Z feels it a lot. What are you?

I'm technically gen Z okay, kind of on the cuss between gen Z and millennial.

I feel it in a great way.

Not me.

Why not you didn't enjoy that extra hour, that luxurious time.

I love the extra hours. I don't like the fact that it gets dark so early.

I agree, it's not worth the extra out now, but why not?

I mean just because you're there's things you can't do anymore.

No, because I like to go home and work out and stuff. And when I when you get home and it's dark, all you want to do is just.

Like get in bed and watch movies.

Yeah. I hate leaving the house when it's dark. Yeah, I like, I don't mind being out in stark, but I hate having to leave my house when it's dark.

You'll get used to it, you always do, because we have like six before I just wait, Oh, so you become a bitch and fall during like right as the holidays are hitting out.

But I look great because I geld to wear all my sweat and jackets and stuff.

But but you're really a great looking bitch.

I'll be a really good looking, well dressed bitch.

Ironically, he's wearing summer clothes right now.

Yes, I am.

I know you're wearing a weird get up.

I am.

It's my Psycho Bunny.

These are not even they're not sweats, they're not shorts. They're not they're they're like.

Uh, they're designer.

They are technically they come right above his knee.

No, they come to my calfs when I stand. Guys, Winter ten on, this're weird.

What made you buy these pants? Are they called? Are they pants? Are these sweatpants?

Like sweats?

But they're like not because they're not very real. It'll go all the way down.

Yeah, I'll be honest. I don't really understand Psycho Bunny as a brand.

Oh okay, okay, it's the brand. Then it's the brand.

Okay. Before we get to our Abigail situation, I got to tell you what happened to me on Halloween. So I yus. I have various costumes. Usually every Halloween, I dress up for the podcast, I dress up for a party. I dress up for the actual day, and I do different things. So I had a great outfit that I thought could be a winner for our company Halloween cost costume contestsy So I got all dressed up and I

You went to a noon Halloween.

Party, well, because that's you know, everybody, it's lunchtime.

They were They were serving like boo eados and like, you know, fun things. It was like a fun.

During lunchtime.

I thought, I get there, no burritos left, everybody has straggled out. It was at eleven and my costume was I was the Queen of Walmart. I had a shirt that said Queen of Walmart out of Tiara. I was wearing a Leopar print skirt with nylons that were had runs in them, boots, a jacket, a crazy looking jacket, oh, a belt that had a clearance tag on it, A fuzzy, really ugly purse that didn't match I looked, I know. I wore the wig that had the the dark roof, and then I wore blue eyeshadow.

Did you happen to take a picture of yourself and.

That I did, I'll show it to you. No, I should have should have given it to.

Grind the body suit that you gave me.

Oh did you because we wear the same.

What he did?

Well, I had people over on Halloween.

Yes, thanks for the invite, and I was gonna wear it. Oh was it too revealing?

Uh?

Well, you kind of wore an underwear with it, right, you could have worn like a layer of like protection.

I told you it was then it was that you could see.

Or you should have just worn it and worn shorts over it or something, because it was it was a full body skeleton suit and you could have worn whatever.

So you didn't wear it.

What did you do instead?

Wore nothing?

Oh, you're so bad about Halloween. I cannot all right now, last episode was Halloween and last week was Halloween. And Brian so graciously got us a gift.

Like last year, I got got us board this year.

Abigail.

Yes, and.

Abigail has been quite active. Antonio, please come up to the hot seat. Antonio is one of my roommates. Marie is my other roommate. There's Antonio right there. I don't think we've told Marie about the situation because I don't want to scare her. Now, take that mic. Put it up next to your mouth, right there. It's not like you've never used a mic before. Here, pull it, put it up to your face.

Oh now, I got to turn it on.

There you go.

There we are okay. So this is what happened. Abigail joined us on Monday night. Last Monday night, I'm gonna put her in your lap.

He won't even look.

He won't look at her, he won't touch her. But he didn't know about her until the next morning, and I asked him. I said, Hey, just curious, did weird happened to you last night?

You know, by the way, this is the first time that I see the doll like face to face.

He won't he won't touch it or look at it. And I've I've been torturing him with it.

I didn't see it all the week.

I've had it down here in the main room.

When you moved it and then I saw just a dress. When I saw the dress, I stopped, like looking up.

He believes in this kind of stuff, like wholeheart, Oh I do.

I do have a lot of respect Oh, so.

He respects the doll. That's a good play.

That's goods exception good.

So tell me what you said to me when I said, Hey, did anything, by the way weird happened to you in the last twelve hours?

Well that was the next day.

Yeah, you didn't even know about the doll.

I didn't know about the doll, but so you asked and I said no. But well, yeah, I heard my name Antonio, like really soft I go and I woke up. I was I was deep sleep and he woke me up.

Oh how about you others? Ductress?

Okay, number one?

And then I didn't talk much about it, and then I just went back to sleep, and probably seconds later, Hey and woke me up again. All right. I didn't know what time it was, but then the smoke alarm goes off, and that was I look at the clock and it was two am. So I tried to, you know, to turn it off, and finally I did a few seconds later it went off again. I well, if you think, but I doubt it.

Okay, I'm going to read you something.

Oh boy, while she sits on your lap, love you.

Yeah, you already gave me the piece of death.

All right, now listen to this. I got this off the internet. It's about no no, no, no, no no. I mean it is from like a from like a thread from people who have haunted things, haunted dolls. Here are things that go on people, persons. Maybe everyone will be challenged with a new problem every day. For me, I've been like overly tired. In fact, the first night that she was with us, I slept until noon. I haven't done that since, like college, like slept. Like the debt. Okay,

Done.

My bank card was compromised. I lost three hundred dollars due to fraud it and my bank had to get a new card.

The whole thing during this.

Last tis do they reimburse you for the three hundred No, no, because they is. It's a whole thing. Don't even get me started.

Okay.

Most of the electrical appliances in the house will start to malfunction. The smoke alarm and our WiFi has been freaking out over the last week. Like it goes on, it goes off, like my phone will. It'll be on my phone and then it just drops out. And I have the highest, the biggest, the most powerful Wi Fi you can buy. I pay a lot for this WiFi because we live stream. Okay, if there is a new born or a child in the home, it's really dangerous.

Great.

Well, have you noticed, Antonio that the light on the stove that says the door is open has been on constantly since she arrived. It will not go off.

Yes, no matter what we do, No, Brian, that was a great investment made.

At least one member of the family will get encountered with a ghoster spirit in the house, Antonio. When she actually said his name, his real name, twice that night that she got here. Strange occurrences or events inside the house will become common without any reason the last week twice. For I haven't fed him anything different, I haven't left anything on the floor. But what Elvis has had and he never ever has diarrhea.

I'm talking wait, no, no, no, no.

Strange occurrences. This is a strange occurrence that happened twice.

I don't think that's what they mean.

Diarrhea everywhere.

I feel like this is reaching a bit.

Well, I'm just saying these. These are the things that have happened since this little girl who and Tonio won't look.

Directly in the face because he's too afraid.

Has joined our family. I've spent all day to day, uh using that little green machine carpet cleaner. It was in the carpet, it was on the floor, it was in the bathroom, it was in the kitchen. That's unrelated, but it happened two separate times during the week. Like why, I know what.

Else could cause a dog to have diarrhea?

I know, but like Elvis doesn't get diarrhea, this doesn't happen to this dog. And I haven't fed him anything strange, and I haven't left anything weird like on the ground. I don't know.

You think I'm just saying something.

No, I just think that her being here is upsetting him.

Well, what about your loud burping? Has that got nothing to do?

That is strange?

That's been quite often now, that is a strange occurrence. Okay, is it burping out of your mouth or burping out of your back?

She's like, cough the stream.

All right, get out of here right now, Antonio, your time has I appreciate you being gone.

I'm convinced she's gonna be out of this house tomorrow.

No, I have to tell you how we have to get rid of her. If we have to get rid of her, it's a whole thing. You have to like bury her with salts.

And I just gave her away and that seemed to work, are you.

Sage New palacelto whatever effect?

After I gave after I gave her to you, I drew a pentagram in my house just to, you know, try to encourage her to stay. But she left.

Well, we are a family of believers in his house.

Now.

I don't mind her being close to me, Like, I don't think she's gonna hurt me, but dang, weird stuff has happened. So thank you, Brian. That's an update on the doll.

Don't try and give her a don't try and regift her to me either.

I'll take her back of you if you can't handle it.

You say you don't you I thought you didn't believe.

I don't after the ship that's gone on in place? Literally, what what if I told you I just bought the doll on Amazon. It's not haunted, and I just gave it to you and told.

You it was.

That'd be pretty funny.

Something that's That's not what happened. I did on the eBay and I claimed to be haunted.

But I know, and I know what you've said, and I know your whole thing is there's so many of these dolls on eBay.

Anybody can say a doll is haunted.

But I've been reading through some like chat rooms and stuff, and this is this is like real, the real deal.

This is real stuff.

The doll.

No, oh my god, if I burn the doll, she'll start screaming. There's no probably that'd be amazing, horrific, it'll be horrifying.

But you know, Elvis doesn't seem to mind her though, which usually animals freak out about that.

Hence the diarrhea. Like he's upset somehow, he's not showing that he's upset, but he's upset.

Okay, Well, I'm going to bed, so I have about good night everybody, and good night.

Hopefully you don't hear it.

Abigail will be up shortly to tuck you in. Yeah, a great idea.

Oh boy, well, now that you've said.

It, I know, can I Antonio Atonio and Tonio No. But that was so weird like that. I didn't even know about the doll, and he's like, oh, get that doll. I don't want that doll.

I go.

I'm not putting her in a closet because that's too scary. I'm keeping her in a main room. She's been in the living room just sitting around, and shit's gone down for sure. Okay, So before we get we're going to play the voting game. It's just a fun game, and we're going to see who wins this election, our little podcast election. After Eric does the double tea news, Did you do anything exciting going on in the world of celebrities?

I got a whole lot this week.

Legendary producer Quincy Jones died at ninety one years old.

I bet Abigail did that.

Probably Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Teddy Mellencamp remember her. She's the daughter of John Mellencamp. Course, yes, she filed for divorce from her husband, Edwin Arroyer after thirteen years of marriage.

They have three kids.

She went through some health thing. Maybe he just wasn't there for her. You know what.

That's just with anyone in Hollywood. I think they can get it's for a zillion reasons. Yeah, you're right, typically careers.

Yeah, I think so too. James Van Derbeek was diagnosed with colorecto cancer.

Oh, no, bad name, always thought about that was a bad show. But his name Jim James Vanderbeek. But what was he on again?

Dawson's Creek.

Oh yeah, Dwson's Creek.

That's right, that's right, that's right.

Jason Kelsey smashed someone's phone for calling his brother a gay sler.

Oh so he somebody called Travis Kelsey a Yes.

Outside the Penn State Ohio State game on Saturday, Jason Kelsey grabbed a fan's phone and slammed it to the ground after he called Jason's brother Travis a goesler for dating Taylor Swift.

That's not cool, that is.

It was all caught on video too, Yeah it was.

And did you hear that Kim Richards has relapsed?

Yes?

Very Some like Brandy Glenville posted something like really mean about it?

She's awful. She is.

The definition of mean girl.

Yeah she is.

Okay, so we have a big election coming up tomorrow or twoesday or well whenever you're listening, it's this week. Okay. Oh you know what I'm doing with my fun new job that I am participating in. They're sending me out on the street man on the street interviews I'm doing with people who have just voted, and I have to get sound from people like who, not well, who'd you vote for? Why'd you vote? And like how are you feeling? Like that kind of thing, just me talking to people.

Of my freaking face.

Probably that's not going to happen.

Well, it seems like it's a very angry like.

Time.

Yeah, but people are just like I think when people are more likely to be passionate about who they're voting for.

Not mad that you're asking, right, well, yeah, I'm not going to make any judgments on anything of my horse question.

So you could ask, God, is this going to be?

Is this.

We're not getting political? I'll tell you off the air, okay, please, cause but that's what we do. We do not we are an escape from the politics, because that's.

Well, if you can escape it, if I know, right, So I love election Day. I stay up as late as I can. I pop on like three different infographics on my computer and I just watch the chaos. It's kind of fun. I don't know.

I need your pen. Okay, why did you grab it back from me?

Because I have to write something down?

Okay, see, I want to ask questions about who you guys think, but I'm not going to just do it.

It's not that big a deal.

All right, Okay, we know we're Eric's leaning.

He really wants to say a big Trump supporter.

No no, no, no, no, no no no.

What do you think? Okay? Did you know that they're boarding things up and they're there? It's getting scary, like there they are in DC because of like what what's going to happen when the results come out? Either way?

I guess the.

Crazy part is I don't know which side is more likely to riot.

I know, I know, it's just, uh, it's unlike anything I've ever witnessed in my od.

Oh, it's crazy lifetime.

So that'll be also something.

I'm going to be interested to hear what people's reactions like, especially like older people, like have you ever been part of an election?

Like this people are saying they haven't never expected to be probably the closest election, Well we might ever see because oh yeah, I think all seven swing states pulling on all of them is all within margin of error, so we actually have and some of them like even like the projective polls are within point one of each other. Like there is truly no way to predict how this is.

Going to turn out, Oh my gosh, or like can I have the pen back? Or what's going to happen? And who's going to riot or not riot? I hope, I hope Betty's peace. I know, please just pray for peace.

We'll close out. Let's close out the political talk with just by saying a reminder, no matter who wins, you'll wake up next morning, your life probably won't be that different.

You know, you're probably right.

We survived four years of Trump, four years of Biden. I'm sure we'd survive four more years of Trump or four more years of Kamala, regardless of how you've shared it. The country's not falling apart.

You're yeah, got something in that, You've got something there, You've got.

Something now, yeah, twenty years from that, who knows.

But now I'm gonna read some questions like who would be the blah blah blah blah, And you guys all have to vote which one of us would be the person that would be most likely to do this or be this thing? Okay, and we'll see who gets the most votes after this thing called the voting game.

Okay, cue some music. I don't care what kind of music, just to make it exciting.

Okay.

I know all we have is like spooky music because I haven't changed me.

Here we go.

That's fine.

Who out of the three of us would be the leader of a cult?

Brian? I know, I don't. Yeah, he dogmatic like that at all.

I'm not persuasive. I'm not like charismatic like that.

I don't think you need to be to be Why do you say why do you say it's Brian?

Because he's very subtle in his approach. Yes, and I think he'd just be like, just drink the kool aid and people would be like, yes, oh, he's believable too.

Yeah, I could see that persuasive through like a lack of charisma. Yes, okay, No, there's like there's yeah.

There is something too that could be all right, who hits this news on their alarm clock at least five times.

Before they get out of bed.

Oh me, how many times do you hit it?

Three?

I hit mine probably seven or eight times.

I haven't hit my snooze in years.

Oh my, there are those people. And there were the US.

Yeah.

I used to a lot. But then college I had like a bunch of eight am classes or eight thirty a ms and I was like working. Like if I did not jump out of bed the second that alarm went off, I was falling back asleep.

What okay? So you set you set seven alarms.

I set my own.

Lad you set one and you just persuoze snooze.

Yes, I set my alarm an hour early before I'm supposed to get up, and then I hit the snooze button at least ten.

And then he goes to work wearing this.

Yeah, right, who would keep their composure during a life threatening natural disaster? That would be me, It would be Prian.

No, for sure, I've kept my composure during life threatening I am.

So cool as a cucumber during I can see that.

I can too. Yeah, not me. I had a gun pulled on me once. Yeah, I was.

I was cool as cut me too, Like.

In your face. Yeah, yeah, you had a gun pulled to in your face. What was your circumstance.

I was at a nursery working and it was right before Christmas and somebody pulled a gun on me and said give me the money out of the cash rechister, and I.

Was allowed, fuck you go get a job. No you didn't, yep, and they ran.

Yeah.

I got in so much trouble too. Yeah, well that is not the.

Proper response that you're supposed to get that situation.

It's funny though, because you'll like, in the moment, like with the like it's an insane amount adrenaline.

I can't even imagine, But in the moment, you'll like everything's probably in slow motion.

Yeah, it literally is. But like you'll also have like your brain will instantly decide whether that like whether that person will actually pull the trigger, and if they won't, you get like really kind of cocky about it too.

So you make a judgment about the person that's holding the gun.

I just got pissed. I was like, are you kidding me?

Okay, I'll give you guys both a point, because that is pretty crazy that both of you have had a gun pulled on you.

Yeah, who would do the best job singing the national anthem?

It is Alaura?

Yeah you, I mean it would still be horrible. But who.

Is secretly from the future.

Brian, because he's young and very wise.

No, that would be more like I was reincarnated but kept all my past like memories or something. Or I'm like a I don't know your age, ageless immortal god or something. I'm trying to be humble here.

Who would be the most uncomfortable living in a nudist colony?

Brian? Yeah, for sure.

Whose funeral will be attended by the most people.

Laura or I know, See this is a toss up.

You have enough friends to constitute a small nations.

So but then I I was on a really big morning show for all anyway, have you heard of Jeff and jer No? Was that like, I'm thinking it'll be really really Oh I love that. I want that. Well enough, Yeah, remember we're gonna have my ashes of my bowl of ashes. Every could take a little scoop, and then you're supposed to have the little goodie bags and stuff.

Oh, thank you, I'm gonna have to well this is oh, this is great because I can just cross that out. Yeah, there you got done. Okay, great.

Who would be the most upset if all of their possessions were lost? Fire?

Oh I think we missed.

I'd be devastating. Okay.

There was a box that my dad made me when I was like eleven.

It was beautiful, it was it was handmade, big box with a lock on it, and inside.

It was all lined in velvet, and it had all my.

Most precious possessions, like feathers from my very first bird, little toys given to me from relatives when I was really young, love letters, everything. Somebody broke into a house when we lived in Spring Valley when I was married, first married, we lived in Spring Valley. Somebody broke into our garage took it. I'm still devastated.

My people used to take boxes a lot. My mom had the same story.

I think we should all get but we would all be over correct, all right.

I only collect cool stuff though, so all my stuff was cool.

Oh gosh, it's sentimental, though, You've got to have some sentimental.

Who makes you? Is that versamof Oh my god, Margaret stopped, who makes a point to always take the stairs?

Not me?

Oh?

I thought it was gonna be you.

Yeah, me too.

For some reason, because you're mister workout.

Yeah.

Yeah, but.

If you are going to the second floor, you will take the elevator and not two flights on what kind.

Of shoes I'm wearing.

Oh, I don't even think to take the stairs. I just get in the elevator.

Well, I'm giving myself a point, then, No, I'm not, because I don't I take the elevator like one floor.

I feel like I drive to bonds and it's like two. It's like one pluck that I know.

Oh my god, yeah that's grocery shopping.

No, I hate it.

I hated yourself the point. I feel like you're the person like, guys, let's take this stairs, all right?

Who has gotten pulled over for going too slow on the freeway?

Not me?

It's not me.

It's me.

I don't even drive that fast anymore.

I drive like a bad eye.

Sometimes sometimes I look down and I'm going like forty eight fifty months on the way. What am I doing? Because I'm like deep in thought or.

Something barely on the gas.

I get that like on my.

Ax right now. I'm like, oh, maybe because I'm not going the speed limit.

Once I turned twenty three, I was like driving fast as such, it's so much effort, like I'm just gonna cruise cruise control.

Who dances like no one is watching? What everyone is watching?

For sure?

Yeah?

Yeah, I know who spends.

Most time crafting their image on social media?

Laura.

I want to contest that, no, Eric Rimmer, what filter? King two nose holes with a completely white feet?

Oh yes, you?

Your image on Instagram or on Facebook is like you're freaking ghost with two nose holes.

Yeah. But he'll post anything though. He's got no filter on his like posting though, so me, yes, hairdresser, he'll post anything.

Oh my god, I posted getting my teeth cleaned.

Whose favorite day of the week is Monday?

Not mine?

Laura, it's not mine either. It's not my it's not my least favorite day. I like Monday because it's a fresh start.

Here we go.

I guess I guess who would have the most fun going to a night club alone?

Laura?

Yeah, not me, he'd probably I would.

I would.

Who is currently reading a self help book?

Thank you?

Eric's the reader over here?

It was a self help YouTube video.

We already know that I'm reading my freaking history, So Eric, who who wears the pants?

Me?

Not the underpants.

Who wears the pants in this relationship.

In this setting you.

I was hoping it's that. Who would be an amazing local news anchor?

Me? Eric?

Wait what?

Yeah? Because you got the personality. What experience do you have?

What are you talking about?

It would be such a good news anchor.

You have experience in broadcasts?

Oh my god, I want to kick your butt right now.

You just do a podcast.

Oh, I'd be so good. I'd be great at that.

You would see the light would turn on on the teleprompter and you'd pull a Cindy Brady and you'd be like, No, I wouldn't.

Now, you'd do great.

I would be amazing.

I would be on Yeah, like I think Laura would be awkward.

I think that he would mispronounced names more frequently.

You know that's endearing. If you just had a little more like a little bit of a resume for it, I would say, you are ye.

Sack, all right?

I put down Eric.

Who would die first if they woke up naked in the middle of the Amazon Eric?

Thank you?

What?

Eric?

Yeah you don't, Yes, you would, Yes, you would.

You would get one bug bite and you would wait to die. If it was a spider yes, Amazon, the Amazon Forest. There's spiders like this.

Big all right? Yeah.

Probably if you saw it too, if you had like an on you, you would just lay down and like just wait to pass naturally, for sure. Yeah, you'd surrender yourself.

Who will climb Mount Everest?

Thought about it?

I think, Brian, you know what, we're too old.

Probably never do it, but.

Hey, take the elevator up one floor.

I climbed Mount Whitney, which is the highest point in the contiguous United States, and I almost passed out. It was not fun.

It was not a fun None of us are likely to alight, all right.

Who would survive the longest in a zombie Apocalypsey?

For sure?

Over here? Why do you see you?

Because I'm smart? What weapons would you use?

Oh?

I'd stay hidden.

He's pretty scrappy.

Yeah yeah, but then he would like he would he could dodge this second month. He would make a risky play to go raid Lahoya Cosmetic because you went out of out.

Have you seen cabinet?

No?

I would have that. I would have that shit stored up. All right.

I'll put down Eric who has the least amount of respect for authority? Eric and and businesses and customer service.

Workers.

Well, this is kind of convenient at this point. Who has received the most human resource violations at work?

Laura?

I currently have. I'm currently under probation.

Wait what h did something else happen.

Other than the dog?

You on probation for the dog? No?

Oh, what happened that around probation?

Now? Let's talk about later.

Yeah, I don't know if I should talk about it now.

I want that be a part of it.

It's just it wasn't anything that I did or said on the ear.

How about that?

Thank god?

I want to ear.

I'll tell you later.

To go back and poop again.

No, I did not.

Who can fix almost anything with a roll of duct tape?

Brian stuff? I don't know. I don't know. If it's it would be you, you know what, I.

Think it would be me.

You did that whole chair pretty much a duct tape.

I made a bikini, had a duct tape. I made an outfit out of duct tape.

I wouldn't brag about it.

That's when I remember all the those colorful duct tapes that came out and those patterns.

I spent a lot of time.

I knew kids my age that were like selling duct tape wallets and they were awful, but I know.

And duct tape flowers and stuff like that. Who makes the best lemonade when all they have is lemon me?

No?

You you would just buy it? Yeah, yeah, I would just buy it.

Well, here we go.

Who has a tattoo they regret?

Laura, Laura, why why do you say that? Because actually I have one?

You do.

It's really tiny though, it's just like it's a cross on my right arm. I don't regret for like because of the religion or anything. It's just it didn't heal well. And it's like a spot that takes up a lot of space, and it's really small.

Is it not a nice looking cross?

It's super basic. It's the first time I got it cost me twenty bucks on Friday the thirteenth. It just it didn't heal well. Was that a crappy tattoo shop?

Oh?

No, you should get that redone or something I could.

I could get removed in like two minutes, two lines. Like, it's super basic.

Well, I like this tattoo that I have of these bracelets, but what I shouldn't have done is added these long lines here.

I have like the heart and I have c and e for Evan and Charlie because I wanted them to be on my wrist.

But sometimes I kind of feel like that looks a little weird, And you know what, I ain't going anywhere ever.

You're not getting any more tattoos.

I am, I am, I'm getting one more.

No, you're not.

I am because two of my friends want to get like a little friendship ten to tattoo on just one I know another one.

Don't get friendship tattoos like matching. God, you are really starting to honk me off, honk you off. They're so corny. It's like it's like getting relationship tattoos. It's a kiss of death.

No, it's not.

That's the only like like real light witchcraft.

They just like my little rosary ones, just keep going.

Okay.

Who would be the best greeter at Walmart? Of course, Queen queen, and you would be the worst.

I'd be the war like, tell people.

Get the hell out of here Walmart, please get out of your.

Pajamas, get back home and put some pants on.

People will walk in. I'd be all no, uh uh, nope, nope, not comming in.

Who can't walk more than a block without saying hi to someone they though, Oh, yes, most definitely. Who gets at Ben and Jerry's or thirty one flavors vanilla?

Not me?

No, out of the three of us, I think it would be you.

No, I don't think so. He seems like the EXE. He seems like the type of guy that doesn't get ice cream, he gets gelato.

No, well he would take we're taking gelata out of it. What would you get at an ice cream chocolate chip cookie dough?

Oh?

Okay, so you're you're you're in pretty deep.

Yeah, what about you?

Coffee anything? Coffee flavors?

Oh?

I love coffee really, yeah, it's so good.

It's I I like coffee.

But coffee, ice cream?

Heck no, and pumpkin spice anything?

Bye bye bye?

What? Wait?

Who's moral humpass is beyond broken? It's broken beyond repair. Whose moral compass is broken beyond repair?

I wouldn't accuse anyone of that.

I'm accusing myself.

Oh, you have no moral compass.

No. I do have.

Morals, but I don't know. Maybe it's the addict and me and the alcoholic that sometimes I make impulsive decisions that are not No.

I have a moral Yeah, okay, I'm gonna take that away.

Are you saying you'll make impulsive decisions that you actively disagree with morally?

I don't know what I'm saying anymore.

I don't know what I'm not going to do.

You don't accuse yourself, Okay.

Who would be the creepiest clown?

Me?

Yeah? For sure, because he would. You'd be so scared. He'd be naked and not on his nose.

Yeah, Oh my god?

Who always sees the glass half full? You?

Eric, not me?

Who would be the best partner for trivia night?

Me?

Mister wise man, young wise Man? Don't you think Brian would be?

I'm pretty good at trivia.

I feel like we should have a trivia off.

We should be fine.

On all, like like trivial pursuits.

I'm the oldest, so I know.

But you know a lot about pop pop culture, like I don't know if you know a lot about history or see. So I mean this is all encompassing. Yeah, Brian, who was the oldest when they stopped believing in Santa Claus?

Oh god, I was so sad when I found out it wasn't real.

I was like six, I was older than that.

I was too, I think I was like I was probably eight or I think I was probably eight. Yeah, or nine as well, So I'll put us both down. Okay, okay, so okay. Who will have the most positive impact on the human species in their lifetime?

You?

Yeah? Probably really?

Yeah?

Why because of your what you do?

My journey?

Yeah, my journey.

Yeah, it's definitely not me. I'd tell people to get a grip you. You're much more gentle than I am.

Who will win the lottery but lose the ticket?

You probably already won the lottery.

I'm it's probably at the bottom of my freedom recycling.

I have never bought a lottery ticket never will.

You know what, It doesn't make any sense when people when it's like up to like one billion dollars, like the most biggest jackpot ever, everybody goes out and buys it. It's like I buy it when it's like the lowest because you have more of a chance, right, Yeah, I mean statistically, it's Oh my god, this is a good one who regularly orders delivery from less than five blocks away.

She would order it if it was literally up the street.

She would order if it was in her kitchen. Yeah.

Probably.

She paid thirty bucks plus two.

Get out absolutely, Oh whose last name would you take as your own if you had to pick one?

Not, No, nobody would want my last name.

I do Kine Cain, I'll keep mine.

Yeah, you're just pretty basic.

Yeah, it's safe.

It's a well what about my maiden name, which is Heater? That sounds like hedonism backseater, Heater they used to call me, even though I wasn't that way in high school. I wasn't.

It was a joke. Meet rim Job, Peter Eater, Heater, Hi, rim job, Hi?

How are you?

That was another one, Peter Eater, Heater, Peter Eater?

Was there a kidnamed Peter?

Wow?

No, Peter is another name for a penis you know?

How did you get that name?

I did? When I was in high school, I had three things I would not do what you had. Three no no's, no sex, no oral on me, no oral on somebody else.

Does all kind of fit into the first one?

So I those all went away when I went to college.

Wait, so you're like, no sex, no penetration.

No no anything. I mean I did everything else in high school, but they didn't do those three things, which, okay, just heavy petting, I guess. Okay, who would end up practicing a religion. They didn't grow up in believing in LA.

You're spiritual?

I am, I am, I'm I'm a sensitive.

You're basically a wick in or something.

No, I'm not a no, not really, No, I'm not that.

Whose life would you like to live?

Mine? I'm cool with mine.

No, you have to choose somebody else's and you cannot choose your own.

Okay, now, the three of us.

Death.

Obviously I would choose Brian because he has so much life left in him.

Yeah, I would choose me too.

I would choose right, Okay.

It's not gonna be Brian Boyant because he has all those years, who is ruthless about correcting spelling and grammar, like really yes, yes, like when like there and there and were and we're yes, like.

Even when people have come after you, I'm like, learn how to spell.

We'll show him.

Oh yeah, who could.

Give the best toast right now on the fly?

Probably maybe Laura if she had two minutes to type it up and chat Cheptini.

Hey, I have only used that for the show. I don't use that on the.

Regularly for the show.

Oh no, I use that for some enough thing. I did, probably, but I wouldn't even that wouldn't occur to me.

Probably want to think, oh my god, all right, disqualify all right.

I want you to give a toast to everybody who is watching and listening to this podcast right now.

So thank you everybody for watching and listening and supporting us.

We greatly greatly appreciate you, and we love you so much.

Cheers.

Okay, that's just an outro.

But I know whatever. Who is the passenger who won't stop talking on an airplane?

Well, Laura, my god, to her on a plane I would literally allerge for and swan Do.

You know your career, your family, your interests, your hobbies?

Like, excuse me, can I switch seats? Like this woman won't stop talking to me?

The cry?

Who is late so often that you no longer show up at on time?

Laura?

No, I was gonna say.

I won't say, Eric me, Yes, you're five minutes of the two of us were you're it's you just know.

Although wait a second now, if the podcast was held elsewhere, who that Laura actually to drive.

To it would be Laura. Yeah, here's the thing. I get off at six o'clock.

Get here. Wait, what do you mean like go home and change that's just walking two hundred.

Feet, I know, but no, I get it.

Here's a full day. And then he comes and does this. I understand some of us have jobs, la.

Sort of Okay.

Who gives the most awkward hugs?

Oh?

Brian Bryan.

Yeah, probably not a big hugger.

No, try to go in on a hug with him. Not it's weird. We guess.

I can give good hugs.

Who intimidates the opposite sex?

Mmmm?

You or you?

No?

All women love you?

Yeah, no, it's Laura.

Do you intimidate me?

You intimidate? You might know because she tells way too much stuff and then they're.

Like, oh god, yeah that's right, like my first date night.

Oh god, we need to talk about that again. I mean, oh that your spot.

I was a fifty one fifty one time, and then I went to rehab and.

They're like, wow, look at the time I got it.

Marry me yead.

I've blown it so many times?

Oh my god?

Who rarely tips over ten percent? We're almost done me?

Really?

What? Here's the thing in restaurants that so believe me when I say tipping stupid?

So you because I always do twenty Okay.

Well here's the thing. Who I actually probably always tip twenty or higher because that's the only option. Like, where do you have you ever seen like a thing that even any more that you can even tip only.

Ten percent custom? Oh you could do custom.

I will pay the extra ten percent and not have to go type in a number manually. Well, I think I think tippic I was at a place and my minimum was twenty four percent.

Okay, that is stupid.

Oh on the little screen thing on the day that it.

Was twenty or twenty two, twenty six and twenty eight were the only options.

I was like, so I pressed no tip right, and you feel like an asshole?

I don't, okay, I have they're trying to scam me out of money like that?

Who will yell at you for not sorting your recycling?

Me?

Really?

Yeah? For sure?

Yeah, you're you're pretty. I was gonna say an oald.

Film I am, among other things.

Who is most recently lied to get ahead?

Laura?

What are you probably true?

What do you okay?

Not me?

What do you okay?

Paint me a scenario please in your little mind. Why does your your wheels turning? And think of me immediately that I would lie to get ahead biz.

Yeah, all right, it's not me, And I'm sure it's not Eric.

Who would fail in eighth grade math exam all of us boom? And who seems like they were homeschooled this one, yeah a little bit. And who doesn't believe who put a man on the moon? Do you believe that Jack conspiracy? That it was not that we didn't actually do that? There's a Stanley Kubrick documentary.

It's a joke, Okay.

I just won't put anybody down. And who believes money can buy happiness?

Mm here's the thing. I don't think money can buy happiness, but you can definitely leave a lot of the causes of unhappiness.

I believe if you're already happy, money would just enhance that greatly.

Sure, yeah, I think.

There's okay, Well we'll end with this one.

A couple more these are good who will be the.

Most hardest to recognize in ten years.

Laura, I know, would be like a couple more trips.

No, I need to go to Law's cosmetically.

Oh wait a minute, Yeah, it could be you.

Because if if for sudden, for some reason, you couldn't go, everything would go back to the way.

It'd be like a crumpled paper bag. Oh my god.

Yes, it's like when they opened the Lost Arc on their faces melted.

Whose stories always seem to drag on and on and on, Eric, Okay.

There we go.

They always start with I was driving naked?

Uh huh.

Who would be the best double agent me? It's a tie.

I think between the two of you, you because you both have you've you have resting bitch face, but also poker face.

You definitely have a poker face.

He would he would blend in better, but I wouldn't crack under pressure.

I wouldn't either.

I think you would better.

Yeah.

I mean if somebody came at me and tried to waterboard me or put something under my fingernails, I give it every secret I knew, or try and pull my teeth out, I think, oh god, oh I could. I'd sing like a fucking canary.

I put your.

Definitely take a signie Bill lodged in my false tooth. Though.

Who would show up to their high school reunion in a Lamborghini rental?

No, that would just mean that you have a small penis.

It's dumb, Laura, I know probably who has started a rumor knowing it was false.

I don't think I have no, I don't know.

Maybe, but I don't. I don't remember. Whose last photo on their phone is a selfie?

Oh definitely probably you, one of you two, not me.

What is your last photo, Naomi Campbell?

Why?

Why?

Because I was sending it to a friend.

Why what's the last photo you've taken?

Let's see, I can't because of my being used right now? Oh, the last video I took was was promoting the podcast for photo.

Oh, it was for the show.

For me.

I think it was me and my last photo that.

Little Dicky lube cakes, little Diddy loop cake.

Yeah boy, yeah, sorry? All right, more, all right, more?

Who has watched a whole season of a TV show without leaving the house?

All of us, all of us?

Okay, boom, boom and boom. And who picks truth over dare?

Think I would? There is too much power to give someone.

I love the dare truth?

Really? All right, I'll give it to you and Debrian. All right, So the voting game has ended. We're doing this because it's election week and oh what oh who is the most disrespectful to customer service?

I think Abigail picked that one. She made sure it was the last one.

Eric, All right, So.

Eric, I won. I'm I won. I am the candidate who's now taking over whatever like you are.

You are. You are the president of the Republic of chadnggulations.

Congratulations one, two, three, four, five, twenty twenty seven and you have twenty.

Oh wow, addressed enough electoral votes and you.

Have I'll be the first man oh to your Oh my god, I would crack under pressure so hard. Yeah, so you'd have to hold you. You have a big job, I do. God, are you ready for this?

Yes?

I am, because I'm gonna fall A Lot's gonna fall.

On your shoulders.

That's fine, Okay, God, I'm going to having to dress you for all your pres events is going to be the worst because all she has are like thigh high go go boots and hideous animal print.

I can't wear animal print president. All right. Well, anyway, you guys, thanks for listening and watching, and have happy election week. And we have a new show coming up on Thursday, which includes random news, including a creepy ring cam story This is why I Don't get a ring cam, the word of the Year for twenty twenty four, and a new game called Agree or Disagree, and we have to talk and we're going to talk.

About Oh yes, and have you heard about the Little Squirrel Peanut?

No, but stop right there, stop right there, stop right there. Is it a good story?

No, no, it's terrible.

Oh no, okay, that's great.

That's coming up on Thursday.

Okay, oh no, anyway, bye guys, Thank you love your podcast.

Oh yes, I actually love this nude lip on you. Thank you, just say it.

Thank you because it's an hour we're doing. We're an hour in.

Wow, I'm just gonna end it. I'm so tired of plank you.

God you were buzzkills.

I love you, my sweet babies. Bye, everybody, Bye,