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The Big Tattoo Reveal

May 09, 202443 min
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Episode description

Laura gets a tattoo as part of her birthday month celebration. She shows all of us for the first time. Do you like it?
Erik has a massively embarrassing fall in a crowded store. We’re talkin’ knocked down shelves, splayed out limbs, hovering people.
Producer Bryan sees something he’s been obsessed with since childhood,
Laura educates us on what words and terms Re OUT and which ones are IN.
Love your podcast!

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/laura-cain-after-dark--4162487/support.

Transcript

Hello, and welcome to Laura Kane after Dark. Thank you so much for tuning in on YouTube or anywhere else that you listen. We appreciate it. I'm Laura Kane. Oh my god, you look so fetching today. Thank you. You're welcome. This is my co host, Eric Grimmer, my bff, my bff. We're number two, number two. I'm your number two and now you're my number two. Do you how does it feel what to be number two? Does it feel great? I'm good? Are you okay with it? Sure, I've learned, I've accepted it, but it

didn't feel good at first. Well, it's really not going to feel good when you find out that you're number three. Oh god, Karen, I'm gonna I'm to get her. I'm going to cut her, you know. And after I had lunch with at Claya. Oh Claire, don't you steal clear from me? Already already taken. He's a friendstealer, he is he already he charms the pants off people and then they become his friends and not

my friends. Anyway. Hello, welcome to the show. And guess what, Brian, Oh my god, I was just about to mention, you know. Eric gave me such good news. I'm actually in a bad mood now, so that's wait, he gave you such good news that you're in a bad mood now, No, that makes no sense. You know exactly what I mean. I know what you mean. We'll get to this in a minute. This is a good segue. Yes, he's whatever. But I was gonna say, Brian producer, Brian will be with the show or

like in a matter of days, with us for two years. You've been with us for two years, putting up about antics for time. I have milk to this show. I have two years and he hasn't told you yet. Well, no, he's what does he He's received some pretty damn cool days. I have milked this show. He's gotten some courts out of gold mine. Yeah. Anyway, we are celebrating Brian's to your anniversary, and it just so happens to be on my actual birthday birthday, May twenty fourth,

v a house resort and casino at the George Michael We'reborn Concert. Wait, thank you, Happy birthday. It's gonna be an absolute blast. Now if you want to go, we have twenty five pair of free tickets for you. And this is what you need to do. It's super easy. We're not going to make you jump through too many hoops. You just have to follow us on Instagram, follow us on TikTok Laura Kan after Dark Everywhere,

Subscribe to us on YouTube Laura Kan after Dark. That's free. Tag a comment on one of our posts and tag a friend and then give us lap chances. And if you go to our website there will be buttons with links to all those places. Yes, so, oh, thank you, Brian. Yes so, Brian making it super easy for you. So the first twenty five people will get those tickets, and if you don't get tickets, come out anyway. We're gonna celebrate. We're gonna have things to give

away. Doors open at six for us US meeting us, our podcast family, meaning you guys too, and then the actual doors for the common people open at seven for the commoners, and then the show begins at eight, which is great. It's gonna be just a blaster to celebrate all around. Okay, real quick, can I just tell the story about what happened before we started quiet? So Eric has been teasing that he has both a gift for me and Laura big time. Yeah, Laura's is apparently going to make

her scream. God, I hope it's not your mind. He says, you may wait your pasts. He says he's never he's never spent this much money on me before. Ever. We got you a stripper. What I know, I can't imagine what there's really I can't imagine what it is. I don't know what. That's why my problem because Eric supposedly he has a

gift so good. People will literally steal it if it's taken out in public and it's a gift from Keanu Reed again, so I'm lost track, but he describes He's like, he's like, you will wet and ship in your pants. It's so good. Just wait to see it. People will steal it. He's like, we can't do it at the party, otherwise people might steal it. He says that about my gift too. So we'll do it. When are we going to do the next week? We're doing it next week. We're going to do it next week. We have to do

it next week. We'll do it next week. Anticipations too much, Now, Okay, we'll do it next Thursday. Because we have Michael Brown on on Michael Brown's coming on what if what if we don't reveal it until the party? No, never mind, I don't know how we make that work. That'd be kind of funny, though. No, I want I want it to happen next week. I can't wait now, I can't wait, and you can't wait. No, I want us to do it next week. I want us not tell anybody until the party. I know, but

I don't know. I don't think. So what I can do is let's talk this out. I will between shows give you your gifts, so not on the actual air, on the video podcast YouTube okay, and then we can talk about it on Thursday show and I will take a picture of you guys holding what I got you, and then we'll reveal it at ye hus Okay. One last question. Can both of the items, the item for me and Forlora both fit in your bag? No? Which item that was

either? One? Oh God? Will you be walking through the door with by yourself with something under your arts? Like? Is it is it heavy? I hate him? I hate him so much. It could be it could be heavy. I don't know. This is it's making me angry talk about it like it's like I'm so excited. I'm angry. Mister predicto. Are we gonna love the presence that Eric brings us? It's gonna be a one time it says, no, doubtful. So he's building it up. I'm not excited. I'm not excited anymore. Oh no, this don't know

the way he's talking about. Okay, let me let me okay, Okay. What you're probably not gonna like it is that sarcastic. You're just saying that just to now not be all yeah, open them and be like I've seen better. No. I signed by Keanu Reeves. I've got a couple of these. This is an impressive Yeah. I know right, You're like,

oh great, now I have to get another frame. Yeah. My favorite thing is that is that me and Laura are the usually the ones that odds that stuff, and this is the one thing where we are absolutely the same, are totally on the same side with this one. Yeah, it's big time. Okay, I have something to reveal to you real quick what you should and talk about some I was gonna say that I was. I have something big. I know, I know, I know. Oh okay, before we play, Okay, I have something for you to read.

Jay Wartzler sent this to me. Oh no, and Jay wants me to read it. I want you to read it. Okay, he sent it to me. He didn't say he wants you to read it, but I thought I'm going to have Eric read it. Oh great. He loves jokes like you like jokes. Okay. And so before we play Jay Wartzler's Capital Growth, Inc. Commercial and the La Joya Cosmetic Surgery Center Commercial, I would like you to read the first paragraph. Okay, just just right here.

Yeah. One sock cutter he cuts socks. Two sock cutters, they cut socks. Four soft cutters they cut socks. Say it faster. One sock cutter he cut socks. To suck cutter. Two sock cutters they cut socks. Four sock cutters they cut socks. Okay, okay, now, okay, then do this one one smart fellow he felt smart. Two smart fellows they felt smart, Three smart fellows they all felt smart. Okay, this doesn't work. Can you do that? One smart fella he felt smart

fellas they felt smart, Three smart fellas, they all felt smart. One smart pilla do smelt fort What about one sock cutter he cut socks, two cocksutters, one cocksucker he suck cocks. Any read that? Why have to be so good at this? He's yeah, he's never been tripped up by those. He never has a couple of times. Anyway, I have something major to reveal to you after Laoya Cosmetic Surgery Center j Wurstler's caval growth ink.

Laoya Cosmetic Surgery Center, can you please surgically No, this hasn't really remove. This very important to me. Oh and it's a big reveal and you're gonna see a part of me that, Brian, you might want to close. Oh no, it's not anything to do with your vagina as Oh go. La Joya Cosmetic Surgery Center is the place to go if you're looking to rejuvenate your appearance, tighten and shape your body, and just just something

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Free consultations too. The very best in the business is in our own backyard. How lucky are we? Make sure you tell them that Laura Kane after Dark sent you. We love everything about La joya cosmetic surgery center glamfam dot com. Are you ready to take control of your financial future? Look no

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Call J today at eight five eight five five two six' nine six to zero or email him at jaywt Capitolgrowthinc. Dot com. I always love you, Okay, Okay, So this birthday of mine, it's not like anything special. It's not like a it's not a huge number. It's not a small but it's not sixty sixty five is still a big number. It's nothing special. But I've decided that I'm just gonna celebrate my life and I'm just gonna do fun things and they don't have to be expensive. And so I

okay, I've been wanting to do this thing. I think I've been thinking about it for quite a while. And then I saw a post from a woman and I got in touch with her. We started talking. She has such an incredible story that she's coming on the podcast the twenty third of May, the Monday, the twenty third. She's gonna tell she's from Russia. She has like this really intense, cool, great story. But anyway,

that's what I'm about to show you. What I'm about to tell you, I feel is a no win situation because no matter what, when you do this thing, people are not gonna either like it or understand it. So I just have to be prepared for that, and that's fine. It's for me. My father when he before he passed, he always said he loved bald eagles. One time we saw a bald eagle on a telephone pole outside of our home. It was the most beautiful thing, and he took pictures

and videos of that thing. He loved bald eagles. He goes, when I die, I'm going to be soaring the Rocky mountains. I'm going to be a bald eagle. So I always thought. My dad died when he was sixty suddenly, and he was my best friend and I could tell him everything and anything. I loved my dad. He was the best dad ever anyway, So I always thought, Okay, I'm going to get maybe someday it's how two of an eagle, a bald eagle soaring in the sky.

Please tell me you have like the most patriotic American. So I'm about to show it to you. A girl named Anastasia from Nothing Sacred Tattoo On University did this for me. And then when when she was doing it, when we were talking, I'm like, you have to come on the podcast and she's going to offer like a really good deal like she has we have. It's a win win, So you guys are going to really enjoy her. She's a really thick accident. She was kind of nervous coming on. I'm

like, don't worry. I'll help you through it because she has a really cool story to tell. All right, are you ready? No? Okay, see here's here, Here we go, Here we go. He's gonna say, I know, I know what he wants. If he brings killing her killer gifts. He probably hated it, and that's fine. I don't care. You know what I am accepting now, I'm showing everybody with the high probability that people are going to not like it. I think you're hyping

up the bad part of it too much. I'm just I guess I'm just trying to prepare myself. Okay, I have questions. Okay, but this may where is this could this could potentially scar Brian a little bit? Oh god, so just he is. I'm going to try to be as uh as uh hm gentle with this is possible, Okay, if it's gonna scar Brian? Does this mean it looks like an eagle flying into a cave? Let me my underwear up? Here we go? Oh got taking her pants off? I'm not taking my pants off. Ready, Okay, here we

go. Let me make sure that something is covered. Wow, I am scarred. Well, it's just like bad. It's it's an eagle with the sun in the background. He's flying up onto the sky and to my daddy right there, and it's you know what. I love it And if you could see it, amra close there it is. I don't think we can do an I don't think we should know what. You know what in a great spot because when you're in your eighties and you're on your back, it'll

be completely covered. No, no, I'll be getting my third boob job by then I'll be eighty. There won't be enough jobs we'll be able to fix it. Oh my god. But anyway, she did an incredible job, just such a light hand. At first, I was like, okay, she goes this is the one of the most sensitive areas of all. I was like, oh no, And then it started and I was like and then it was fine. You really do have a light hand. So anyway, well, thank god it wasn't on your vagina. What now?

You really honestly thought you really really when I said I got a tattoo, you honestly had thought that I would get it on my vagina, you know, like eagle's nest. I could see, Oh my god, I could see you doing something crazy like maybe here. But yeah, okay, you know, like actually physically tattoos. You're she has been asked. Well, we'll ask her this on the podcast, the different things that people have asked her to tattoo. And you know how many dicks she's been asked to which

she will not? Yeah, I bet, I mean, whoa, that's like torture. Can you imagine? I cannot. I would never ask do I know? So anyway, there's that, and I love it and it was one of my you do I hate it? No, it's good. That's good, thank you, thank you, thank you. So I'm really happy. It was really fun. And we'll talk to her on this. Unfortunately no other man will ever see it. But I know we'll never get that fun, I know. And what do we have to say? Now?

Remember what I told you? You're not getting any more tattoos. No, I don't need anymore. I don't want anymore. Okay, wait, let me ask you something unless yes, let's see. Okay, let's let's see. Let me think about something. If by some horrific chance Eric were no longer with us and I wanted to memorialize Eric on my body. What would I get? I'm not going to get a chucky doll, don't tune actually my lower bag. No, a little chucky doll will be awesome.

She memorializes her dad with a beautiful creature like an eagle, and I, I think the f b FF number two. Get a chucky doll. I think that's great. A murderous toddler great, I think perfect. God, I get that one in color. There we go, so people would know it's me. I think that's I think that's cool idea. I don't think wow, Yeah, I don't think you as as before I die. I'm saying that I don't think I should do it. Don't do anything to memorialize

myself on your body. Please, you should get a Wien your like like a Wiener tattoo that looks like a like a crappy, like a drawing like the once he draws every single host you. This is how you can memorialize me. Do you want of my drawings to do it on your cheek? Oh my god, that'd be amazing. Drop you imagine like a small dick, like right right by your mouth, right here. Oh that'd be great. Wait, we got to talk about what happened to you. Oh Jesus,

this is another phone call I received. I get many phones. I get a lot of freaking phone calls from this one. He loves to talk on the phone. I do, and he knows that I don't like it, and he does this on purpose. But this was this He needed to tell me whenever I make a complete fool out of myself in public, you get the first phone that. I appreciate that because I need to hear about

that. So I went to lunch on Friday with our friend Claya and her sister clayat Dollhouse doll Face Club, doll Face Club, and she have the cutest doll face outfit on and a purse. It was she. I love her and her sister. I know they're the best. And oh, we had so much fun. So after lunch, I thought, I need to run over to Marshall's because we went to Questo and just get some hand soap.

So I go over there, get the hand soap and then I use a toothpaste called Luminis and online it's expensive, but they have it there at Marshalls. Yeah, for like I don't know, five ninety nine or something, okay, and it's like an all nath or natural teeth whitener and it works great. So I thought, oh, maybe they'll have it. Sometimes

they do, sometimes they don't. So I'm walking through like that Health and Beauty and the one mission Value, know how they have the like the shelving that go with all the product on it that go, you know, and then they have the end caps. So I'm wearing one of her sweatshirts, black pants, and my big huge Carl Lagerfeld combat boots okay, oh boy, because they play a part in this. So I turned the corner and

there's a cart in the aisle with a bunch of stuff in it. There's a woman looking at one of the chaosks, and there's an employee putting stuff, taking stuff out of boxes and putting them on the shelves. And there's a narrow path between the cart and the shelves where the products are, and

I mean I can maneuver through just fine, right right right. Well, I didn't think that my boots were so big, so as I tried to go around the rubber heel caught on the on the shelf, on the bottom part of it, and I start to go over, oh like I and I'm trying to regain my composure and my steps and I just like it looked like a newborn fawn, like I was tripping over myself. Is your life flashing before your eyes? And my thought bubble was just drop what you're holding

and put your arms out. Yeah, you're knock your teeth out right. So I did. And when I did it, I hit the end cap. When I fell face down, my phone went flying. The product went flying. I hit the end cap and it fell over what all ell the entire thing was on it, like eyelashes and lip bombs and whatever else. They were all over the floor on the front and the back. Oh, like a whole shelf, an entire like five foot tall kiosk with product on the little hangars. Did it make a big sound? It sounded like a

bomb went off, And so I screamed because it was so loud. So all of a sudden, I hear people going, oh my god, are you okay? And I'm so embarrassed and horrified, like and I'm I'm starting to get up, and you know, a lady's handing me my phone and the product and a pair of toenail clippers, and I'm like, well, i don't know where these came from, but I'm trying to hang them on a kiosk. And the employees like, sir, are you okay? Oh my gosh, and I'm like, yeah, I'm fine. I wish we

could have the store video camera, Oh my god, video survey. And so I stand up and because I'm all in black, I'm filthy dirty. Oh yeah, the floors in there are no Oh my god, I'm I'm just gray at this point. So I'm like, no, I'm fine, and I turn and looked at I've got my phone, I've got the product. I turn and look and there must have been about twenty people like running over the look because you could have heard that thing oh through the whole store.

Oh like, it was so loud. So I just paid for my product and left. I would have just left the product champed out. It was almost well that's crazy, the music, Yeah, it was. It was. I mean, I was just like, oh, well, the line's not long. You needed that Luminix toothpaste. Oh, it wasn't even there. It wasn't even there some other thing, and if it was, it was probably three asles over. After that whole Kiosk fell over, I was like, I'm not no, oh, Brian, what's up with you?

Okay. Over the weekend I went to hold On, I know, so I completely forgot about this. So, you know, she's like, are you okay? Are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. So I stopped by Trader Joe's, go you know, go home, get out of my car. Animal. I get in the house and I'm like, oh, I don't even want to look. I pull my pants down and look in the mirror and I have road rash from my right hip. So is that what that was a picture you sent me?

Yes, going all the way down to my right knee. It's like big gashes and all this red. Like thank god, grab it didn't break his hip, thank god. And then I've got like a big old thing there. I'm like, oh my god, thank god, Clay. She would have been like, who yeah, I or not know this version? Yeah after dark? What anyway? Okay. So over the weekend I went to the radio shell oh yeah, down because they were doing a performance of Rare's The Lost Arc with a live orchards. Oh yeah, that was really

cool. I saw that two years ago and it was amazing what they showed the movie with a live So they have the movie playing on like three big screens and then they have the orchestra playing the music accompaniment throughout the entire movie and they take an intermission. It is pretty, it's pretty cool. It's really cool. Like it's kind of hard to like. There are definitely parts of it that don't sound as good because they don't have any like live mixing

they do in post production. But there's something to be said about it, like it is, it's pretty, it's pretty cool. It is it's really cool. It's really neat. And I ended up buying I thought I just got this, you know, good seats. I end up buying actually a private table accident. Oh did you we got well, there was like two other people there, but we got a table where we could have ordered food, but we did because it was very expensive. What kind of levels are

I mean, what kind of level of seats can you get? I've never been to the Rady Shell. You have to do that's nice. So they have the lawn which can bring chairs for I don't remember how much liss you can bring chairs, like you have to bring chair they are like seventy five. I doubt they're that much because my ticket was only like our tickets are like one hundred and fifteen per seeds, so I don't think there's I bet

they're like fifty to sixty. So we have a lawn seat. It's lawn where you can bring your own chair, and so they have that ticket. And then there are rows they're like the rows like typical seating. I don't know much those are, and those are pretty those are fairly close, they're all right. And then we are in the like the first row of private tables, and those are pretty nice and they're pretty spacious and like you know, you could you can order food and stuff, and it's pretty close to

the actual shell too. And then they have like the expensive ones or like the like what they call the orchestra pit seating even though it's not by the orchestra, but that's like right up to the front, and that is private tables too, So I don't know how much those I think those were like two hundred pieces because I think ours were like one fifteen to one fifty a piece. Does the Rady Shell go all year Do they have a season? Uh? Oh? Actually it was pretty cold down there though. Yeah,

and it gets cold because it was red on the water. Yet it was only sixty three, but the windshill was pretty rough. So I don't think it's open all year round. I think it's just a certain season that they're open open. Yeah, it's really cool. I'm sure they're not open to December, but yeah, it was. It was really cool though. You know, obviously a huge Indiana Jones fan, so that was fun. If I you know, if I could choose next what signs, it would definitely

be a Harrison Ford It may be a Temple of Doom poster signed. So how old is Harrison Ford right now? Seventy? No, he's older than that, he's eighty. You about getwork, get on that. I already have myself a note. Did you really note about it? See? Well, so I have all the Indiana Jones posters obviously. My favorite one though is actually the he's eighty one. Wow, he looks great? He does. Yeah, you didn't really prefer that last movie that, I mean, the Last Destiny. I did not care for it. No, I do

not want its poster. The poster is all right, but I don't want it because I don't like the movie. Oh okay, no, but you might just have to take what you get. That's fair, that's totally fair. I'll take it. I don't want it. If it's not. If it's that poster, you can send it back to my I saw a very good movie the other night. Oh yeah, Civil War. Okay, I haven't seen it. I heard about it on Netflix or no, I rented it. It was good, okay, I think it was on Amazon Brain.

There's something coming up called Black Rabbit with Jason Bateman and somebody else cool, and it's on Netflix and I don't know when it comes out. I just saw a commercial for it, and I'm like, this be good. I didn't see like the actual teaser, but I just saw like a picture. I'm like, whatever Jason Bateman is in watching, I am watching. But I watched the Table Vision series. Yeah, oh it is what It's on a channel? No, it's a Netflix okay. Jason Babman and Jude

Law the star in new limited series Black Rabbit. Jude Law. Jude Law like him. I like him. And it doesn't give you really much of anything else, does it? I just know. Oh, Jason baby Nelson directs it too. Oh, this is gonna be good. I saw Baby Reindeer again, the whole entire thing with Evan and her friend. We binged it again and I got the fact that that is a true story. Is mine boggling. And now she's coming out the wantings. No what she saying.

She's saying that she was misrepresented. Oh yeah, well they say, you know, to cover his tracks. They say semi autobiographical. Right, three things okay, and it's all regarding my songstresses. Oh boy, Madonna, Yes, new record. She did two nights ago. Her final Celebration tour concert was in Rio de Janeiro one. It was free. Almost two million people attended it. Now that must have made her feel so good. It looked I watched it on YouTube. That is two million people must be

insane. But here's a thing what I would have never And I've been to every Madonna concert that she's ever done. I'm a huge Madonna fan. The price of those tic sis time we're so outrageous. You watch that thing on YouTube, it's like you have a front row seat. It's all filmed, it's professionally done. It's not on somebody's eye, and it was incredible. All right, how much is the cheapest ticket? When is it coming? When she comes down? Oh, she's done. Oh this was the last

I was going to go to LA to see her. Yeah, and the nosebleed seats were like five hundred bucks apiece. That's same with like insane. Yeah. So I was like, no, sorry, I mean justify that, and I mean I'm never that far away to see her. And I was like, no way, I would never pay that much and said that full. Let's once you get through with like the fees too, it's like

six hundred and fifty. Yeah, because I went, me and my my girlfriend got tickets to kg el Fant when they come to San Diego in July, and I think our tickets were like one hundred and ten each and end up costing like three hundred and fifty bucks. I'm like, dude, that's crazy, Yeah, it's nuts. I look to see if there were any justin Timberlake tickets left. He's he's here May fourteenth, and it sold out, but there were like spotty ones. There was one the very top,

tippy tippy top last nose, but three hundred and eighty five. That was ridiculous. What I mean it was one of the best shows I've ever seen. His first the first time I saw him, I was like blown away. I loved it. In two thousand and six, I loved it. Then I saw it again in twenty sixteen. Still great. I can't stand his face. Well, isn't that a mean thing to say? Okay, how dare you say about my justin? I won't. I won't go into just Timberlake. I hated his last album. It was awful. What was

his last movie? I actually don't know. It was last I'm thinking of in time? Was his last one? Was? No? The last one that he did was really good? No, it was really good. Which one? Well, there was one called Parker that was really good. I think it was called Parker. And then he just did one with what's her name? I'll look it up. Okay, But three of my songstresses have new music out. Oh god, I wit she's a songstress? Now, Yes, I did you hear it? Yes? I bought both of them.

Okay, what's thee A song called I Love It's we saw Sea together? We didn't. It was the worst concert I've ever seen. Wait, what I think is her only good song. Oh no, I love her. But remember she never came on stage. She just stood in the back. That was like fantastic. She sat in the she stood it. She stood in the corner and sang while she had all of her dancers, and like it was so weird. Wait, don't play I can't play it well. And my Kate Hudson, Oh Kate, she has a good voice.

But now she's a pop star. What's a song called it's don't play? Don't play it. I'm gonna find out. Okay, I gonna find out. And it's good, it's great. Which of the three is your favorite? Probably do a lipa? Okay, yea lipa is really hot? All right, I'm going to finally end with this. Now, apparently where jen X your gen z uh Yeah? I think I missed a call for Millennial by like six issues. Okay, here are things that we're not supposed to say anymore, that you guys now say, and so we have to now

these are outdated terms, and these are the new terms. You can't say them. No, we are supposed to now say these because you guys say these. Okay, here instead of yolo, you only live once, Yolo is that what that means? We don't say that anymore. You never knew that, No, you only live one. I just recently found out what goat meant. I did not know what greatest of all time? Yeah, no, one really uses it as the all times Since you see on that like the roast of Tom Brady, no, I need to see that.

You better be ready for your ears to fall off. Why, well, all the roasts are amazing filthy it is. Didn't get mad at someone I would wouldn't be surprised so mean, I wouldn't. Who would he be the maddest at? Oh my, I couldn't even tell. You couldn't who was the meanest everybody? Yeah, the roast I will say, like the roast of Rob Lowe, and I think they did Eli Manning or some of the funniest things I've ever seen. The one are so funny. But they were

mean. I mean, they are mean like I would. Did you guys remember Comedy Central and that was that was where edited those were good. I remember that they had a man culture on one. I don't know why. That was the roast of Pamela Anderson or something, but they had culture and they were so like I mean and culture is a little controversial. They were so mean to her. I was like, it was hilarious. So is this something that you would say watch it? Yes, okay, I mean

I didn't even really know what sports he played. Roasts are funny, for real. Here was one of the things. So I think it was Elizas Schlicinger. Do you know who she is? Her name? She's hilarious. And she said, what's his name? Tom Brady? Oh, Tom Brady? She said, you have h five rings or six rings? And she goes seven, including the one that was given back to you by your ex wife. That's not that's great. That was probably one of the only things

I could say that that I could repeat. They had one because the last one they had, the last Comedy Central one they had. They had Pete Davison up there, and dude, he was a monster. He was so he was he was roasting, he was help roasting. He wasn't the roasted one. Well, even the roasted one makes roast for everyone else. So, I mean, they're all in good fun, but sometimes they are like I would be like, I don't know how that could be in good fun. It's so mean. Oh my god, it was okay, I gotta

watch that. I gotta watch that. I mean, okay, so don't no more, yolo. You only live once. Now it's d I f t P. Do it for the plot? No, do it for the what plot? Like, you're the main character of your life, so sometimes don't avoid things. Do it for the plot? Right, But you don't say dift tip f TP you know, how do you? How do you say dift tip? No? You don't. You just say do it for

the plot? You I've never will never it's never never else. That's not that common though, that that's kind of I will never be able to even remember that. Now. I respond with this a lot. You're not supposed to say, hey, Laura, meet me at the park at eight o'clock KK, like I instead of okay, I put KK? What is K? It's like, okay, you'll still use that. Why don't you just say okay, just like it's cute? Kk KK is fucking stupid. People still use KK. It's fine anyway, You're not supposed to use that.

Anything that's ridiculous sucks. People still say K. It's instead you're supposed to say bet, no, that's old. Now what it is? It's like like you bet, like you bet? Kind of is everybody that lazy that they can't put you in front? I would not know what somebody was talking for you. You're like you responding what word? You guys? You guys are the worst. No, bet is not like a okay, you bet like it's kind of more like you bet. You are like respond I say

okay, not KK, that's fine. KK is stupid, but it's still acceptable. That is kind of old. Now, oh my god, this is annoying. I'm sure I've responded to you with a case instead of rolling on the floor laughing for a while. Instead, just send a skull emoji like it's so funny. You just die, or you can say I'm dead. Yeah, and you do you spell it d E ED? No, I say a D. I mean I don't okay, I don't use all. I don't even know you find the skull emoji? I know because you're

forty five, like you're in a twenty four year speak the language. But ed is stupid. You just say okay, don't shorten great the word great by saying g R and then the and then the number. Say that slaps? Why is there everything getting longer? Like I would just say great, no, just say it slaps, say it slaps. I'm not and say, oh my god. The only thing I want to slap is you for

reading this. You're gonna angry. God, this is stupid. If you have like if if you have an amazing talk, I might say this ship slaps, this is fire, like that's that is that is your fire's out? No, it's not heard. This is fire according to this list. Now lit is back in. Uh what fires not out? Let's not I thought list somebody was getting high. No lit, that is so lit like that is so cool. ITT's old. I wouldn't say, no, Lit's coming back. It's not my god, it not. I am part of

this generation. Your a little piece of paper means nothing to be compiled by people your age. Oh okay. Instead of saying like you just dissed me right now, clap back. Yeah, I guess a little bit. It's kind of old. Don't diss me, you don't clap back. You just that was a bad clap back. I don't even know how to use it. I would say, like, let's saying like I'm talking about celebrity beef.

You say, oh, Madonna talked crap about you know, uh Taylor Swift, but she clapped back and was, Okay, I see, don't think call things gross gross gross? Fine, no, you call them ick. No, it is no, it is for behavior because if someone does something that you don't like, that kind of like you ever seen someone do something, especially like some of the the sex you're attracted to, and you're like, ooh, I don't like that and you lose all like attraction for

them. That's ick. That's the ick. That's the ick. Okay, like, oh, that person gave me the ick when they did, you know, X, Y or Z. Never say give me the four one one. No one under forty knows what that number even is what it was for. Blah blah blah blah. I don't even hear people over forty say that. I know. Instead you say what's the tea or spill the tea? That's that's for gossip though, yeah, that is for cossip. But that was also give me the four one one because that was for information.

You dial that for actual information back in the day and when we were young, when we were so so long ago. It's so many moves. And finally, do not call people crazy people cray, Yeah, I agree's gray Cray. They are now de Lulu. No, yes, no, my god, no for delusional. Yeah, both those things are out. We don't say I will never say that. US kids don't say de Lulu. That's stupid. That is just in twenty twenty four. No, you're Delulu. No, you're not termed. De Lulu makes me want to I think

psycho is still probably more. I do not want those No, I want you to rip it up. You can rip it up. Oh thank god, yeah, I rip it up. I would just say they're crazy, they're insane, their psycho. No, I like that one. You don't. I shouldn't stop. I need to go home and take a silk wood

shower. Oh that was just a simple, so annoying, Liz. Now you know how I feel that I'm trying to figure out this can someone like three months, if someone came up to me and use one of those terms, I would probably resort to my old self and punch them in the face. Oh, Bessie, now see then they clap back, Yeah, oh good one. And I and you would say this ship don't slap and I'd be like, that's so lit. Oh god, oh he's about to fund Oh God, he's gonnaunch me for real right now, I'm gonna return her

present. If you want tickets to our big party celebration on May twenty fourth, Friday via Huse Casino Resorting Casino, a concert George Michael Reborn and a party, go to Lourcane after Dark dot com get all the details how you can win your tickets and we have fun things do too, And please don't touch my book. You're like touching bear. They're actually bear boobs covered by like a sticker. Oh, these are bare boobs you're touching right now,

not even my bra. You're like groping. Sorry, guess who's straight? Now? Hey, baby, want to get it? Actually felt good? That hasn't happened in a while. Thing, okay, Jesus. Laura's like, wow, I love getting fueled by gay man. I just realized it's great. I love it. I love it all right? Please all right? Love your podcast? Just say it, Eric, just you, Oh my god, Brian, top of your podcast? What do you want me to hear the man? I love you, my sweet babies. I'm sorry,

Mama does this for a living well? No, you're not you're not. No, you're lit

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