Hilarious Jeff and Jer Show Memories

Well, hello there, and welcome to Laura Kane after Dark.

We sure appreciate you tuning and really makes our day, our life, everything.

We do.

Love your shirt, Eric Rimmer, my co star, thank you, my porn star.

He's wearing a shirt that says porn star and then last episode shirt said daddy needs treats or something.

No, good boys get treats?

Oh good boys? Do you get these shirts at our favorite place?

No, not all of them.

No, this one doesn't look like it would came from Did it come from our favorite place?

No it did not.

Okay, yeah, I don't know why this looks a little more upscale?

Why upscale porn star shirt? I don't know. Whatever do you remember that brand? Porn Star?

Uh? Huh?

Who do you remember brand?

Okay?

I think so.

And in high school we were not allowed to wear shirts that said doctor Zog's sex Wax and.

That was sex wax is great though, but for your surfboard.

Yeah, if you showed up to school wearing a mister Zog sex Wax, I get it, get it, turn it inside out?

Why why why is it called that? It's such a weird name.

Well, hey, I remember doctor Zog? After all these years. Then they did something right.

Oh, he's still super big in San Diego.

Doctors.

Hu.

Yeah, they sell his stuff in every San Diego.

I love it because you have to wax your stick.

No, but also they made they made car fresheners too, they do. Yeah, they're really good.

See I I'm looking for a new good go to San Diego. I wouldn't think that they would sell register as they have. Okay, sex wax. I'm going there tomorrow maybe with my daughter who who knows. Anyway, Welcome to Laura Hanafter Dark, thank you, thank you. We have a special guest on tonight.

You that's so excited.

And uh, if you didn't hear last episode, we have some sad but opportunity and opportunity for you.

Possibly for some of us. Okay, I know I'm gonna ride that joke.

I know, I know.

Anyway, Brian, producer, Brian, who's been with us for three.

Years going to prison.

Time.

He is moving, so unfortunately we can't fly him back here every monthday.

I would do that.

I wouldn't. Sorry, I'm not going to along a flight, I know.

Oh my god, no, thank you, I hate that flight.

Oh my gosh. I know all the that's a far flight.

But anyway, as much as we wish you the best, of course you're not not till November.

Anyway.

Watch how she's gonna unravel. As it gets like countdown, I.

Feel like I need to have Eric get me one last signature. I don't know who though, let me see, Oh maybe a George Lucas one.

That'd be crazy.

I feel like that'd be so hard though, Well, let me see what I can do.

Yeah, I get him.

We need to get us something for being sticking with us for three years. Three years of his life.

He has success right so far, He's never been late.

He's come. He came one day when I did.

I told him that's happened two times. What the time? Was my fault though?

And I'm like, oh no, he's just he's always been well. He used to be really nice to me until he got to know me and then I don't know things.

It's actually pretty nice, Laura. Once the camera turned.

Low, he is so he our fresh as Brian is leaving us.

And but that's an opportunity for you because we need a new producer.

So if you know, now, what what's the rundown on the producing side? Like, what do you need to know most of all techno technology.

Wise, ideally someone would know how to use obs. Okay, it's not that hard. Also, just get it problem solving, yes, because Laura and Eric can't solve a problem.

So that is one hundred accurate.

Maybe some photoshop skills would be nice for the thumbnails.

Oh yes, basic stuff, basic stuff, and you know, figure out our website stuff and that's easy.

Our website doesn't get touched my team, I.

Know it doesn't want I need it. Well, I'm going to try to revamp that too.

But anyway, that's that's the story is Brian is leaving. But that's an opportunity for you to sit right here. In an upcoming episode, we are going to audition producers live on the show every Monday night that's when we record our podcast. And so if you're interested in being part of this show, it's important to me. Chemistry is important to me and to you, but you know, more importantly it's running the show. But it's also chemistry. You can't buy that. It just comes naturally or it doesn't.

Well, And to be attractive to minds here is that whoever comes in next it is gonna like Laura more than me.

Yeah, I doubt doubt it. Everybody likes you better than me.

I'll poison them a little bit. I don't worry. But like, let me walk you out. My watch out. She's the worst you'll he gonna hate her.

But you're all the ginger. He's a delight.

Eric's amazing, though. You be nice to him if.

You're interested in this one night a week job then and but so much fun it is, and we have a blast, and we would love for you.

And Riot, thank you.

You're welcome.

A bitch, right you're you're Riot? But right?

Who I am?

You called me a bossy bitch today when you walked in today, because I am. I'm bossing when you guys walk in, I barely like you talk. I'm like, don't talk it out before we get on the podcast. I'm very mean right before we start the Oh.

It actually annoys me so much.

Something, can't I know.

Which To the point, I'm surprised I'm not in tears.

Yeah, yeah, sometimes I am in tears. I just like hide it.

So is that why you do that?

Yeah, That's exactly why I do it, hide the tears. That's why I'm leaving. Actually, Oh no, no, I'm not even moving. I'm just quitting.

Anyway, he told his last week after the show, and I was.

Like, I'll probably run into Aim at a car washing le mesa or something.

I'll be like like an Laura, like, wait, I'm sorry, who are you? I had to get away from it.

Oh you're stealing down.

Oh she just got the joke.

I just got the joke. Oh that's so mean.

Anyway, funny though, very funny. And you know what, it doesn't necessarily have to be Oh man, it could.

Be a woman.

If you're interested in this job. Laura Kane after Dark is our Instagram. Send us a d M or you can email us at Laura Kane a D for after Dark, Laura Kane a d at Gmail and like and said, you know, give us your little bio maybe, like what's up?

Who are you and what do you know?

And we'll set you up on a Monday night and we're gonna do like a little live question and answer session, right, and then Brian will be here too, do weigh in on things. I don't know if he wants to, he might, you might let you unless you know, we'll see. But anyway, that's the sad news and it's it's sad to me even though you give me such grief every single podcast, no matter what I do, I'll drink this right now and he'll say something.

To bring up the sadness. I have a very quick little segment of make Laura laugh.

Okay, but can I tease something real quick?

Yes you can, of course you can.

And then we have to talk about Laoio Cosmetic.

Yes, and then after Loyo Cosmetic that's gonna launch us into two new products.

That I got.

And we have a very special guest who has some very We have a very stone.

I didn't know you came with so much content tonight.

Yeah, surprised.

I know there was so much opportunity in the first show.

Can we save some for like.

It's super quick?

Okay, Okay, So all right, la JOYA Cosmetic Surgery Center is the only place I would send you if you are wanting anything cosmetic, plastic surgery, any kind of anything done, even like nos job. Do you need a chin implant? Do you need do would you love a breast implant? How about three sixty lipol or a BBL a Brazilian butt lift. Unfortunately, you can't take somebody else's fat and

And it's she has a lot of other issues too.

That doctor Swiston who is on last week, who is doing her surgery, and that makes me so happy because he did mine and it was just the most awesome experience ever.

He's a great guy.

He just so I just love.

His background and I just love his attitude, and he spent so much time with us going over all the different details and the different options that she had. And so what she's going to get done is they're going he's going to take out the old implants and use the tissue that has grown around it and form her own her own breasts, so she won't even have an implant in and god, we didn't even know that that

Cosmetic Surgery center is here for you.

Plus they're up for the Torch Award Better Business Bureau gives out this thing called the Torch Award, which is just like the top of the top of the top, and they are up for it, which is really great.

Yes, and they just.

Gotten dominated best Cosmetic Surgery Center for San Diego magazine again again.

They have so many.

Awards, award winning five star reviews up.

I mean just five thousand five star reviews. That's what it is.

Just read through it if you if you want to see how happy people are from getting their procedures done.

I Llahoia Cosmetic Surgery Center. We love them.

We love them.

Okay, So go on, mister, what's up?

All right?

Laura?

I'm can I give you a little bit of make Laura Leaft turn that frown upside down?

Here we go.

Okay, Laura, Laura Kane. Did you hear about the guy with the small penis he broke up with his girlfriend? You want to know why he just couldn't get that into her.

Manny, don't just because you're our guest to I does not mean you have to laugh at jokes.

You're not required.

Okay, was that allow.

Cute?

Well across my face? Nothing didn't do it for me?

Not you.

There we go, that's the tip big tail. Is that it?

That's This was really quick.

I told you it was quick, all right.

I just ordered the two. You've probably seen it on TikTok. It's going everybody's going crazy over it.

Gosh, wait, wait, explain this to me.

So these are this is this doctor doctor malax and peel shot. So one is an exfoliant rice ampool and the other one is an exfoliant rice. But they both do different things. So you've seen people rub it on like black heads in the back, black head like pops right out?

What?

Yeah?

Which? Okay? So which one goes first?

This one, the red one, the gray one?

I mean the gray one, Yeah, because I've seen this online. One is red and one is white. Right, is this the red one or the white one?

This is the red one.

Red one goes first. Okay, I've been wondering about these.

So I tried it. Well, now my beard is growing in, but it came yesterday and I tried it.

Your skin looks good right here, I see like I could see it in the light more. Yeah, it's like so smooth and it doesn't look like it has no there's no malasma.

Or anything like that.

No, really, greatly cool.

Okay, So, so where did you order that from?

Just?

I got it online? Oh is it?

You know what?

On the the doctor webs I got. I think I ordered something similar to that. I was on an Instagram thing. You know what, I've never done that. My best my best friend, my best friends Stacy, Stacy, she told me that she all she orders off of is the TikTok shop.

Oh really, she orders everything up. I'm like, I've never even been on the TikTok shop.

I'm I'm very nervous to order anything off of tickbak.

Why why why?

She says she's loved everything she's gone. Remember I tried out for the TikTok Dunk Talk shop.

I didn't realize that was that one.

It's a hyper competitive marketplace where everyone's just trying to get a commission off of.

So they're like, this is the best thing that's ever been on the un on there.

I see, I see, Okay, I mean there are some legitimate stuff on there, but it's just there's no need to shop on TikTok.

So oh my gosh, I know we needed.

And also I know you and you would just I.

Mean i'd go and see you will you this house with look like a warehouse?

Yeah? Literally?

Okay, So I get.

A call recently from longtime listener, longtime friend, not only of the Laura Canaffor Dark podcast, but of the Jeff and Er showground.

Yes, and we've all loved him.

We love him ever since we met him, ever since we knew there was a Manny. Yes, and Manny, come on up, he's here tonight. Uh he what he has done?

This is, you, guys, unbelievable.

I know, I can't even I know, I can't wait to hear this out.

Manny has Did you record all the things? Or like you recorded him like old school, recorded him from like a recorder, like, uh, it's like from old there.

I have a file from for Cumino six. I had a file from when I recorded a I used to record it on the audio cassette.

Oh my gosh.

And then that's when back in Cumino six and nineteen ninety five, when Paul Abdolt came to your show. Oh yeah, that's right, and I recorded an audio cassette. And then many many many years later, I bought a converter that we placed the cassette into the converter device and then it made it into an MP three file.

So he has he has documented so many episodes of the Jeffers.

Show, from h Q and six Start seven Star ninety four to one Kicks ninety six point five. God, and that's when the showgram would upload their their show to the website, and that's I was able to pull it. Oh yeah. And then when they also, like for Kixie for example, that when the showgram would upload their four hour show.

Uh well, a.

Couple of years ago, I was able to with a program Audacity program, I was able to. I've been able to edit out the commercials and songs and keep the commercials in there that the Showgram personally advertised.

But keep it, keep the meat y, yeah, because.

There were some some mishaps that would happen during the commercials.

Oh yeah, No, Manny has presented us with just beyond a treasure, Beyond the t this is a jewel among jewels.

This is the original.

This is titled Laura's Friend Eric's Funny Story. This is the origin of the TJ Max God blow up the Bathroom story.

Okay, that's put your headphones on. Yes, he's.

He's in like a stage, all right, So I'm hooked up to the Okay, here.

We go, it's playing. I hear.

Good, there we go.

Here, I give you that.

I I think we're gonna have to put the dirt off for another break because I don't even know if it's going to get on at all. Here's why would you rather hear the dirt? Would you rather hear a story of somebody who plugged up a t J max bathroom and it overflowed last night?

TJ Max? Well wait, why did he plug it?

Well, because he dump he had made her blowout. He had a blowout in a t J Max bathroom.

T J Max, TJ TJ Max.

Right, Okay, who is my friend?

Eric?

Hi?

Eric?

You guys Eric. I'm not even going to say which one it.

Was you got because I want to picture it that I know where they all are. Let me guess, I am sports reader. Was Yes, I pictured it there right away.

So anybody the works at TJ Max down there that's listening to this, I want to apologize because.

It was me.

Wait wait, wait, wait, I have so many questions already. Obviously this means you didn't tell a manager in the way out. You just had no so you just rode the wave of the brown tsunami and left.

I left so fast.

Tell somebody in the way, I hate you got a problem in the bathroom, somebody.

Well, I mean it looked like a murder took place.

Like, let's back up. Why what are you a TJ MAX for? And when does it hit?

You know what?

Tell us the whole Okay, Well, I went to dinner and I had fish and chips, which was probably part of the problem. So then I needed some shower gel, so I ran in to get it. And while I was standing there looking for it, I all of a sudden my stomach started rumbling, and all of a sudden, I was like, oh no, all, and I threw everything down on the shelf, literally ran down the all going

Get in there, and I could, thank god, there was.

No one in there was at like eight thirty or nine o'clock. Nobody was in there, and I could barely get in there fast enough.

And all of a sudden, I go to flesh and I hear the toilet as I'm walking. I'll go Google goog.

I turned back and was literally at the top, and I said, oh my god, oh no, maybe if I just maybe I didn't flush it hard enough.

Yeah, that's why.

That's why you. I always take that chance that it won't overflow, that it will just give up on that last little bit of pressure. Right.

Well, dummy here pushes the button again, and it just was like a mount.

Vesuvius and I I.

Literally was standing in there like holding my knees, going, oh my god, no, no, no, no no, and.

I just ran out.

Where was Adrian.

At home? I was by myself, which I.

Mean some worker at some poor worker.

Yeah, somebody, somebody at TJ Max probably is in hip boot and swearing at whoever. I mean, it was terrible, Oh my god. But I think I may have to go back because I think I left like an internal organ.

I'm not. But I did manage to text Laura as.

I was running out, like, oh my god, I just blew up the TJ Max bathroom, so I was able to be somewhat, you know, multitasking while I.

Oh, did you get your shower?

Jel, No, I didn't know. I'm gonna I think I'm gonna have to start shopping at a new TJ Max.

From now, and no he hasn't.

That's your gd TJ Max though, that's your one, that's your go to store.

I know they're gonna miss me, but you where else are you gonna go for?

Deal? Pickle popcorn peons?

God?

No, don't don't play this, don't play. Don't play, don't play, play, don't play, don't play. Not even me to deal with that. Wait, not even me.

I don't have craz.

Seriously, I don't have to be Tommy right now.

Please, Randy found it, he said, my headphones. Hey, I've got this scene from Dumb and Dumber. Now I don't know what the scene is. Whatever, turn it over, turn over the beginning.

Let me just begin.

This is not good.

Let me in the beginning it.

Could we do this? Could he start at the beginning again? And then when it's time to turn it off, you can signal.

Me okay, all gone the top? Oh my god?

Oh no, ready, here's what you do.

Here's what you do. No, Mark, I know I'm good.

To recreate Eric's night last night, you need to need to just that much of it and then the sounds of footsteps running away okay, and no, here's that much title wave and then the footsteps running away. I'll give you time to work on it, like a crashing wave after the in a wave. And then.

Now here's Emily Griffith with your morning drive Western Union dot COM's mobile app.

You might be stuck in trafficing.

Oh my god, that is so funny. Here we Go?

Are you playing another one?

I paused, Oh no, I'm we're gonna. We're waiting on the north still heavy traffic. That's here goes. Here we Go is brought to ol. Here we go, fires and wheels with their labor. I don't know if it's on here. Get up to three. It's not on there.

Okay, but that was pretty okay.

So this next one is, uh, shouldn't do Okay, here's the one. This is so embarrassing.

Okay, this is oh gosh, how old were the kids? Charlie was eleven? Yeah, Charlie was eleven.

Now, who's the nominee for Mother of the Year.

I would like to nominate Yes, Tommy Laura Kane.

Congratulations Laura, and Mother of the Week.

Yesterday, about seven thirty I was driving home from Temecula and I get a phone call and it's Laura. Laura went out to eat with her children at a restaurant in Mission Valley and she didn't have any money to pay.

That shows our sourcefulness.

Oh yeah, what happened?

He is kids?

You said right here, I'm gonna call until Tommy. What happened?

Oh my gosh, you.

Said right there.

I'm embarrassed.

So wholesome too, m.

As you know, yesterday it was really hot. Yeah, it's going to be hot again today.

And in our new place, we don't have any air conditioning and it's a really hot house.

So I'm like, you know.

What, I'm not going to try to cook, not like I do every day anyway. But I'm like, you know what, no, definitely not today. I'm not going to start cooking. So I said, you know, where should we go? I'm thinking to myself, where should we go? That sounds like it be good, Like we have a lot of things to choose from. The kids will get something wholesome. And then I thought of that new restaurant that it's called San Diego Home Cooking.

Oh yeah, and a real hot looking chick that advertises on TV.

The waitresses are also Eastern European, Like yeah, so yike, So how.

About that.

We go to the White Mission Valley and we all get a really wholesome meal.

In fact, we even had some for leftover. So I'm like, score, I have some for the kids for lunch tomorrow. We're all good. The check comes, I reached my purse, my wallet is not there. I go, Charlie, I'm.

Going to tell you we're gonna have to start calling some of my mama's friend.

Well, then it pops into my mind.

I'm like, oh, well, Tommy knows this woman because he had.

This big one of.

His big TV specials was held at that restaurant.

Up there in Ranch Panasuita.

So maybe they'll let me come back tomorrow to bring the money.

It was like nineteen dollars. I as interest. I'm the server.

Sorry, I said, well she lives at me like really, you don't.

Have any money?

And I said, well, is it okay? If just at I know your boss? Is she here the one on the TV commercials? Yes, she's here. Oh ask her if she she knows Tommy. Some want tell her Jeff and Gershorogram, Tommy Sablant.

And that I'm good for it. I'm good for it, and I can come back. So I really don't want to come back tonight.

Get rid of it.

Nineteen bucks for three people.

What you do?

Split up peanut butter.

And we had soup and stuff like that.

My kids didn't really we weren't really that hungry. We had soup and.

No no fruit. Soup and fruit happened. It's a soup and fruit.

So the woman goes, who Jerry and Jet What?

I said, Oh, it's a show on the radio called the Jeff Trust me, she'll know who it is. Thomas. Just say Thomas, a blonde. She goes, all right, So she goes back. She comes back, she goes, well, she said that if you leave your your license, that maybe we can you can come back tonight or something. I'm like, I can, please have her come over here. I know she knows our shoes sh Please let's just come back tonight. Let's just go come back tonight and we'll pay.

I go no, I don't want to.

It's too late, so uncomfortable, it's so bad at Please come over.

I know she knows our.

Goes okay, So there's the meantime. I'm like, Tommy, I call it you, Tommy, thank god.

He answer.

You're never going to believe what's happening. I don't have any money. I left the wallet at home.

She said, You're never gonna believe it, but you did believe it. I believe it. I just said, Tommy, you're believe what's happening.

He's like, look, let me just give you my credit card number.

See if she's good with.

That, and then you can pay that way, and then you know, maybe I'll text Mel.

The woman's name is Mouth.

Did you give you your credit card number?

I gave Jerry's credit card number.

Reject you.

Well, so anyway, they took that and that we were good to go, but I never did.

Tommy's like, go say hi to the woman, know, and so I'm like, well no. By that time, I'm like horrified. So I just left and that was so anyway.

Wow, is a lovely night out with the family. We like to congrat late Don Katie only held the title for one day the Mother of the Year for this week, Laura Kane, thank you begging over a nineteen dollars restaurant tab and pulling me.

Do you know who I am?

Weird?

Know I have to call one of MoMA's special friends.

Kids.

You just sit right here, We'll call Tommy.

Laura.

That is you know something Bell hasn't come over the house. Oh god, Hi, I'm Laura Kane for dining dash dot com.

Fuck the hard all need dinan dash dot com.

It's so great.

Oh my gosh.

Wait what year was this?

This twenty eleven?

Even in twenty eleven you were trying to throw it around your name. Oh yeah, over nineteen dollars too.

I swear to god, Brian, I'm not that kind is I'm not a Do you know who I am? Kind? I to go, Yes, I.

May do it once a week, but it's not who I am.

Stick up for me.

I'm not that.

No, you're not like that.

Okay, he's not. You're not very convinced.

Best friends and eat avouch for you like that?

Manny?

Did you record the one where she feeding the diaper in Starbucks?

It's oh my god, it's not this one.

This one just says Eric Rummer naked. Should we play that one?

Oh?

Oh god?

And then and then we'll say the rest for another time.

I'm sorry, it's sweat already. There we go?

Yeo, your friend Eric's online for Eddie?

Eric?

Eric?

Eric?

What you do?

I went to a birthday party for about fifteen people. At cafe in downtown and poor, that's all I have

Yeah, it's a shame. That's such a good placed. We really liked you.

Well, I won't know that anymore.

Yeah, hey, Eric, that's they say tapas, not topless.

I was topless, bottomless, I was everything.

So wow. Then what happened once she got out.

Well they just they I was, I guess outside. She came running out and I was outside trying to get the cab.

And she put your clothes back on you.

Well, she came out with my clothes.

I'll come back, So thank you, Eric, Eric Eric Eric Eric banned from Cafe Sevilla. If you're just listening here, remember if you advertise on Kixie, these are the kind of people we can attract.

The your story.

Yeah, okay, Now the funniest thing, Eric, what you've told You've told me this is why he doesn't drink, because a lot of these things happen. But I don't know what being a drinker for a former drinker and drinking a lot.

I never once was like.

Oh my god, I've hammered all this.

Take off all my clothes in public.

Well let me just say it's not the first time it happened, and it wasn't the last.

Well why the clothes?

Yeah, I don't know.

Also the story, well, actually this doesn't shock me because he's already prone to being naked, so the lack of inhibition would encourage that. But what that story makes no sense when he tells it on the radio, because all he all he says is like, yeah, there was singery on the table and I was eating some fruit and I was hammered.

I was starving eaten probably all I know.

But there's no connection between like the cingria and the fruit being loaded.

You know, the fruit has the most alcohol apparently.

Yeah, I guess that's what I found out later.

Oh yeah, you have never had that classy of Singuria. Oh man, that's funny.

That was rough.

Did you did you ever go back?

No, I was banned, Yeah he was. I recently went back after a concert, I think, but it's moved locations now, so I was all right.

He took one step in. They're like, no, I know, that's why. Yeah, that was always get out of here, dick swinger.

That's probably why. You just want to show off your number. Remember, not little he was like.

He was like kind of walking with his swing and his hips with a swagger. It was helicopter like.

Oh yeah, the helicopter for sure.

Oh man, I'm so hot.

Oh so embarrassing. Well, I don't think I've ever told you this story. Oh god. I was at a birthday party. This was years and years and years ago, and it was up off of Sassafras Street and it was a Halloween party. I was initially supposed to be the designated driver and at one point one of my friends was like, what are you drinking? And I said, oh, just that punch in there and it was like peach. You know, it was just flavored punch. I thought it was non

Wait, I said, do you just not know what alcohol tastes like?

No, because I'm not a big drinker, so you would think.

You would instantly go, oh, wow, that's alcohol.

T No. Was.

It was super super sweet. It tasted like peaches. And I wound up taking off all my clothes, running out the front door, taking off my costume, running out the front door, down the steps onto Sassa Press Street, and I turned the corner and there was a cop sitting in his car, and my friends came with my clothes and he was he got out of his car and shining the flashlight on me. And they came up and said, oh, he's not driving.

So I you he did not give you a ticket for exposure.

No, it was a different time. It was a different time. Yeah, I just I'm so confused. It's like someone hands you a long island and you're just like, oh, this delicious glass of iced tea doesn't say it's like booze at all. Yeah, I mean he's drinking jungle juice and never realizes that it's boozed. Like what, it's not like jungle juice is known for being tame or any like.

You know, yeah, I know.

It's called jungle juice.

Right.

They give him a like a like a handle of vodka. He's like, oh, water, he's like a little spicy, but otherwise good like refreshing.

We see. I call it being accidental only drunk.

Yeah, I'm I'm confused about that part.

Yeah, because I didn't I didn't set out to