We're saying, if you watch your coffee time, the baby you know the name Flame, my bro also known as my Roe Flame, come in with last and come in with Jim Love Loundes.
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Raised shot towns on speaking to the grown a second year. We're gonna last to come or and kicking and at the again. We leave it with just a list his firits you want to revisit, so your first second listen you folks.
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No this, do what you do? Can't do what I do? No this?
Hey, hey, hey, this is comedian Flame Monroe and welcome to this week's very special edition of Laugh Aliaring. This is a bonus for you guys. This will be a very intriguing show because what we do on this show is we learn and we teach to understand each other. I'm here with my beautiful call host Bobby Clifford, who happens to be in the room with we. We shard a hotel row and we sleep in the same being off right.
Oh my god.
But we have a very special guest and I'm telling you this story is so powerful and so King came into a coffee time live a couple of days and maybe about a week ago when I was on YouTube because I do coffee time in the mornings, and just hit us with a story that we think needs to be shared with the world. We think people need to hear this story because we want people to understand this, that and the other thing, so many things that people miss.
So King is here to share his story with us. King, we want you to introduce ourselves to our First of all, let's give a round boss with King. Thank you, Ki, thank you for coming on with us just to share your story because it's powerful and I want people to understand, especially the youth, of what you went through. So tell us about who you are, where you're from, everything, everything you aren't here for us.
O King. I'm from Apolois's, Louisiana, So I'm a country boy, but I SI in Forward, Texas.
Out of the MW.
I'm a hard record. I'm a mother. I'm not a mother, but I'm a son of a mother with two great kids. Mama raised two amazing children. Mother Breda is more successful because you know, he stayed more on track, and that's my that was my goal to make sure he stayed on track. So I did it that part. I'm just me. I'm a loving, fun person who've been through a lot.
I'm a trouna baby black sheep. I held a lot of things in because I had a supportive family, but I helped everything get out of fear and they I identify as a bisexual male starting at ten grade when I really came forward to knowing who I was as a million in this world. But I had a dysphobia issue when I was about six or seven because I was molested not only once, not twice, but three times, but three different people, my men and women. So it
kind of made me confused. So that's what everything started there.
So you you when you when you were molested, did you think you believe that it puts you to a place where you felt like you needed to transition into becoming a tras woman.
Yes, ma'am. It started making me feel very uncomfortable myself. You know, it made me felt confused. I ain't know what to do. Why would these people put their demons on me. I'm a child. It really destroyed me because what child deserved that. None of us deserved that as an adult, because it happened in olhood too, But as a child, that's really hard for you to deal with that and thinking that you're done with one devil, another
devil come, that they can do with that devil. Another devil com And that's hardened to what you want to tell your family. But then you sacrifice that putting them in trouble because they will kill somebody behind you.
You were a kid, you know.
So let me ask you.
Let me ask you this question. King, So you say you're molested about male and a female, do you feel like either having been molested by two different sexiests that you lean towards one more than the other because of the molestation.
At times. I did at times, you know, through my teenage children, I would lean more towards women because a lot of women. Of course, like you said, I'm attracting young men, so a lot of women always was attracted me. So I would love women. So that that just came. Like when you said the other that wine come out the apple, that's just hey, that's what it is. So for me, I love women. You know, I know what a woman's are about. So I knew from jump I would never stop liking women. But I knew when I
was finally came in to my truth. The community that liked bisex, they down bisexual boys but praise boys to say they're fully straight because they go all back home to their wife or you know, their girlfriend. That was weird to me. So I already had deal with some differences and knew it was gonna have some struggles. So it was always or I ain't gonna compete against that woman. But literally, you know, I like my men with for jiannas anyway, do.
You feel like you were pressure to become trends? Do you feel like other people of other forces pressured you or do you did you feel that internally?
No, because I knew deep inside I had an issue that there's something I had to deal with of me being me want to be trends. You know, I put it behind my head in the box. And when I became, I wasn't a club at fifteen, sixteen years old, I was in a gay club. I was a kid. Nobody knew. I had these ground adults around me and nobody knew as a job. My Mama trust me so much because I was working at fourteen my day. They told me that real men get jobs today age he was working
at fourteen. So I wired there and got me a job. And through the work and I met a lot of adults. I had started condulging them sex a lot. So I started lead, you know. Six became my outlook of my trauma. Yeah, and I was just sleeping with women, but I would tell women the truth that I was also sleeping with men, and what kind of men I was sleeping with. And as I got older, I started seeing more men, you know,
because then more I became my children. I would feel inside these spaces, you know, going to the gay club and you know, meeting different guys at store. You know how it go. So I started, you know, even when I didn't want to mess with me, and I started still messing with them still because I was still dealing with that trauma or what I was dealing with as a child.
So going do you think going to the gate clubs and seeing because what you going through the drag shows back then, and seeing the treasures.
Yes, ma'am. When I can tell you my very like So I was sixteen at club eving bowlegs. Like I told you one when I was outside to see so much was my gay mother. My mama knew bowle as. For my mama, thing was, I need you to find some kind of friends that can teach you about their lifestyle because my mother she was always afraid because my grandma's friend got killed in Louisiana by some men because he was gay. So Ronald was already scared already when
everything he had hit. So when I became a transforman made her ten times scared. So when I was in the club at sixteen, Roquel Lloyd was the very first trans woman I ever seen, so beautiful, and I was like, wow, this is really a thing. I thought Roquel was one hundred percent born woman, believe it or not. Because I'm a kid, so I already don't know. But that everybody
was like, man, she's a beautiful trans woman. So that she used to drop down and oh but her las, I like you do that, like you know some on my mind this started going like, okay, so this is the thing. I can really beat this type of person. So when I became a trans woman, I was imaging I wanted to be the transistor like miss Roquel Lloyd, because she had carry rested up with class and dignity and grace the respect that she got from everybody in the community. So I was like, Wow, I can really
be this person. But I didn't transition, and I still put it behind my mind. I'm like, Nah, it ain't gonna work. It ain't gonna work.
And then I.
Became a transfoman at the age of like twenty one twenty two, back in two thousand and sevens when I started thinking about doing it in two thousand and eight is when I really say, Okay, this is what I'm gonna do. And that was kind of like one of the worst decisions in my life.
I love that you said that you saw somebody else and it made it made you want to do that because this is what I think they're doing to the youth, because you see it and you think that it is what you're supposed to do, and you have to internally feel it, and you did have a great news. Rock Hill Lord is a fantastic female impersonator. She is one of the baddest in the business, that the best they
are in the business. So I can understand even why that affected you that way because when I was being rock Heel pretty much of the same age, and we were doing the same time, and I was an admirer of Rockyl Lord, she wasn't the one that may be trans We were already doing what we did at the time, So I can understand how you were easily influenced by that. So at twenty one, when you decided to do it, was it your decision or were you That's why I want to know where you pressed it too.
It was by then it was mine because I seen ra Killer sixteen, I already was you know, Bo adopted me, so I was around all the other ladies in the pageants, like the Jason Bonds and you know, all the top not So yeah, by then I still in transition. So I waited until I was praying about it, and I prayed about it, and then one day I said, Okay, this is it. So I did it because I wanted to, because by then I thought it was an age and I thought in my mind I had some kind of experience, right,
But that wasn't the experience I thought. I really I thought I needed I needed more experience. I need education, is what I needed. You know by my purity who were really was into this and been living it way before me, to tell me the truth about the hard times, the good times and it maybe some real bad times you're not ready for, but this is realistically what may happen if you take this route and made shorts with
the rock you want to take. If I would have had peers telling me Dad that I would never have went in transition. Honestly, I would have had maybe you know, saying just sat down with my family and rediscussed the situation a little bit better. But like I told you, I transitioned out the blue my mama that though my dad didn't know, nobody knew.
So let me ask you, ken hold On by Man, I know you got a question. But when you transitioned, did you start taking female horn moms? Did you take?
I had a uh since one woman who I was confident on it. She was my uh my manager at the time at Low's. So I went to her and told was gone on. So she helped me research what I had needed. So she had told me what was it seemed like y'all take fornere on vitamins, soins I started taking a to stuss round blocker. She said, you need to sutch wround blocker. And then she started helping me look for a doctor. So because she was like, you need to go to a doctor to get blood record,
you know, and stuff to the list. Let us to this. So she was trying to help me the best way she could and be professional, you know, and do her job at the same time. So she had helped me get them them medicines. After that, I met a trans girl who I knew who transitioned honestly, but a little before me. At her younger ages. She was on black mircat homeowns. So I stayed on black micro homeawns for three years. And when I tell you, that messed with my inside so bad. When I used to pee, I
started peeing blood. I couldn't. When I had intercourse of people, when I was trying to, you know, come, I couldn't come no more. Yeah, stopped me from So I got scared and I stopped taking black market hormos. And my brother said, let's go to the doctor and let's get you adopted. And I found a doctor and for work
that took me off of everything. And she was an LGBT cute doctor and she said, you're not gonna like me if you want them trans girls who want to shop today, Because she told me that damaged your body, I'm gonna only give you natural her mown. So she made me do the cream, and that's how I started that journey and my home other.
I love the fact that you said a biological woman. You said sis, so to our listeners that are laughing if you don't understand what assists me. SIS is the term for biological women. Biological women have always been the allies for the LGBT community. And I love that you said a biological woman took you and helped you research to find to help you who you are, because they have always been in our corner. And I appreciate that. And I appreciate that woman for teaching you and taking
you to a female doctor. Bobby got a question to get in here, buddy, and so.
I thought it was great that it seems like you've got family support throughout this, which that was one of my big things. I was really nervous for you, thinking that maybe you were doing on your own the black market hormones. May my insides flipped because you don't know the dosage you're getting. Did you have any permanent damage from doing that or did everything sort of resolve itself.
On you with the with the doctor Gabriel, Well, I deal with stuff now. I've had two heart attacks in twenty twenty. I have an in large heart. I had a light struck from the brain last year, and my psychologist I still up to a psychiatrist therapist. I'm like, I'm still doing the work.
Yeah, I'm still like some journey honeys for everybody.
I recovery, you know, suicide recovery. I tried to cut my hands and you know I try to take pills when I was a transformer to kill myself. So I told I finally opened this to my mom and my mental health issues, and I stay committed in my therapy. I still commended to my psyched doctor, and she told me the last week she said, you know, I don't be honest with you them home all. They may ain't catch it with you then, but they can't catch it with you now. It's to say logically that people don't
understand that or nor accept that. I'll believe that. You know that harm your body In the long run. Hormo therapy is not good. You know, that's just what it is.
Especially when, like Barby said, when it's black market and hear me when I tell you, sweetheart, we all have taken black market privery. When I was young, we too used to take a novige that we got from a doctor and a hormone shot. It grew you breath in two weeks. It cleared your skied up, it shranked your penis, it did it just did just what you said. It stopped you for your ejaculation, so you would get like a drop if you got the drop, and you were if you were come in a second. So I understand
all of that. Let me ask you this question, when you finally transition, did you ever find any joy or any happiness? And that.
Yes, at the beginning of flame. You know me and my big brother was here the other day. I'm from my daddy song was talking about that. He was looking at pictures and he would say, man, even so beautiful on that picture. The reason why I say, for me I started, I enjoyed my transition to the beginning was because I had to support. I had a great gay family on this end who supported me. I had a legend of community who talks about HIV bolets didn't play.
You know, hey, don't mess with him because hey, you do too much, you know.
You know.
So I was around well educated people and the lifestyle and my family. I have an amazing family, my even my stepdad family.
Man.
I always sometimes I can give the love and support that I have just by them accepting me as a person to somebody else in the community, because especially our skin content culture, because they don't really have that. That hurt my heart to see that. A lot of black people say, oh, my family don't love me. I never experienced that flame. I never had an experience. You're like, you know, so what made me had a bad experience? When I told you, I felt deep humanized as a person.
And that was when I was working at those And then we had a bathroom situation. And then the thing was, I was supposed to be able to go to the bathroom once I transitioned, so I was doing everything professionally, so I was a manager at the time. So I went and I said, well, what I have to do to go to the women's bathroom? Because I got a situation with a man. He told me I was a dis race to my community, my culture, which is black people,
and I should burn. I'm gonna burn in hell because of who I because I'm at a family store and they allow me to transition because I was ready at the store a year and a half. So I transitioned while working. I want to or it was a customer. So I went to the the supervisor. She said, well, you have to get breast and you have to have your name change. So I hurry up and got my name changed and I wait and boughy me some breasts. A year later so that I came to the big
old forty four WT. So now all like, okay, I go to the bathroom. That didn't happen. I used to have to go to the bathroom outside at another at another company called some Mad Rental. If they at that spot was busy, I had to walk across the street to on the border and go to the bathroom. So the people in the at the job who did supported me, they was getting heat from the people who was working because they didn't they didn't understand like how one day I was accepted and the next day I was not
accepted at all. Like that was weird for me and of some of the people, and it made me feel like I was just dehumanized, like what person like, especially though I already been through as a kid and all the stuff I've been through, Why do I have to like go outside to the bathroom. Why do I have to go to another building? Because I understand, trust me, my mamad woman. I know, I know that women are comfortable.
I get it.
But I still wanted to feel like a human and when that was taken away from me, it made me really mentally break down and I was like, what's next, God, what's next?
Yeah? No, I think that that was terrible. First of all, that the customers would come in and be allowed to even say stuff like that, But you have the control over customers. I do want to give accommendation to the Low's employees that did accept you, because not every job will let you start one way and then transition wilde. So that is a great thing that they did that.
So hats off to that company for that. It's sad that you had to go through that, but you know, there are ignorant people in the world and what comes with being the transfers sometimes, especially in the Deep South where you were in Mississippi or was it Louisiana.
All this happened in Texas. I'm not here in Texas.
Or in Texas. Yeah, when you and you're still in the South, which is still the Bible Bell.
Yeah.
A lot of people have their own philosophies and their ideologies and their religion, and religion is something that it's really need to be dealt with when it comes down to the LGBT community in a different way, it is coming around. I'm glad you survived that. Thank you for being a strong survivor to get through that, because a lot of people would have been broken by that.
Oh, I tell you, hours off broken. I didn't go to work, you know, I want they want up, I want up. Look my job which was a setup because of how everything couse. My store manager, he really got tired of dealing with it. So a SITI what I could have fought, I just let go because I just really wanted to just feel human again. And when you don't feel human, im or.
What do you do?
You go into a dark space where you're already as a kid, want to kill yourself because you've been bounced around, touch around, you don't know what to do. So then as an adult you're dealing with the disrespect and the disrights from other people that you thought, well should respect you because you respect everybody else. So when I left that job, I took out for a month and I'll when I was looking up jobs that was LGBTQ friendly, so I found why weren't. And I can't say when
I went there. I went there and I used to tell people this, You don't have to call me a he You don't gotta call me a sheep, but call me by my name that I paid for because I ironed it. That's what I paid for. And it made people really gravitate to me, and they started saying, you know what, you a different trans woman. The other ones I an't meaning for. I'm like, but I said, because I respect people, I just want us to respect each other.
You respect me. But I do know that not everybody going to a line or a sign with this lifestyle, not everybody going to understand it. And they have the rights to that. They don't even have to be in the same room with you or accept it. They have the rights to that law. They don't disrespect you. And that's where it comes to a problem when people start disrespecting each other. I was disrespected that Walmart so much that my mama used to have to come up there
and hold meet or her big child. And I'm crying because I was started getting harassed by associate up there, and they let it go on for three months, and the social kept going around disrespecting me, and the people who was respecting me, they would say, hey, don't disrespect her like that. Mind these people calling me her, don't disrespect her like that. You know, she a hard record, like you don't even know her. But the girl kept going and disrespecting me, and mind you already going through
my mind going through suicide. So I'm like, God, this is second job. I didn't be able to Why keep going through this?
It's like, what is it?
And then I saw her saying, you know what, I'm gonna have to either kill myself, sell myself a due porn and disrespecting my whole my family because this all the way that trans people you live. From what I was a KnowledgeR or seen her or heard.
That that, that just hurt me. And really, I promise you, as a trans woman myself and I know exactly what you mean. That just hurt me to my core because you feel invisible. I know exactly how you felt. Invisible, and people will walk over you and take advantage you. And I know the low points and I know the high points. What what at what point after going through all this, all the jobs you said you were transport for eleven.
Years, almost eleven yes, ma'am.
What what was the straw that broke the camels back to make you say, hey, I'm not happy. I want to transition.
When I went to my close friend and she was like my play wife, and I told her I don't want I love past thirty. Oh god, that's the best thing. Yes, She said, why why you're all love past thirty? Frank, everybody love you ship. I said, Man, I don't love myself no more. I take you listen. I'm i gon mark a community because I understand this trouble. So I'm not gonna carry this legacy that I can't live no more.
I got all the greatest people bolets. I know, all the people make dresses could have made me be the trans woman I desire to be. I had that support. But if I don't love me no more than what I do, I had to be transitioned because I told her I can't into my mama except I'm gonna give my friends tough because I can't do this, How get a live home and be this person? And I go on, Mama, why you din abort me when I was juggling because I I don't want to link this life confusion. It's
not fair. I don't want to. I don't want to deal with that or I have to deal with that, because I was wanting to respect people when I was in that community. Bod and them, we respected each other when we see trans worm it was your hell hell ma'am, Yes, ma'am. We respect each other. We know what's supper. We respect each other. Outdated trans women. While you come around my family, gonna respect you as a woman like day of transmitting, Gonna respect you for what it is because they ride
with me. So when I come from respect and I get disrespected, that bothers me. And that was that was it. When I lost my job at Walmart and some stuff I can't speak on here, so I had to talk to them the phone about that. When I lost that job. Yes, I was out fighting because I was gonna either I promise you I was gonna either kill myself or or I was prostitution or escort. What else can a trans girl like me do I could just use what I got to get what I want.
Yeah, you know what, here's a great big club for me and Bobby, because I love that you're just open to us and listen, we hear you, and I tell you your story is not so different from so many other transhare because what we feel this unseen, and so many of us has questioned our mortality. Myself included, God, why don't you make me? Why were I born it?
But you knew I was going to be like this because there's so many hardships that we miss and this, this younger demographic of trans women right now just seem like they've created another wall and we all go through the same struggle. We questioned our own mortality of why was that born like this? I would rather have not been born. If you were born for a purpose. King
know that you have a purpose at a reason. Your story today is going to help somebody who is in the same situation or even worse than where you are. We want to thank you here just to say that we're not deal with this interview. I just want you to know that over here you are appreciated, and I thank you. Bobby. You absolutely the white woman is telling you that you appreciate Why don't I tell you appreciate you appreciate it?
Ain't I keep thinking of the interview from a from a mom's point of view, and that's sort of how I went into this because I'm thinking, if it was my son, how oh you know, but it sounds like your family did support you. How could I better support you? If if it's a new generation of trans kids that are coming, what advice would you have for them?
Well, if you a kid, don't transition, you know, I would think. I don't think no children should be a lot of transition at all. I've been advocate toys that when I transition, there's a lot of stuff I do not adjust to agree with. You know, I believe that it should be, you know, a trans athlete for just trans athletes, so they can compete against each other, have fun against each other. That's the excitement of being who God made you. You say this to God made you,
asking us, Okay, that's the difference of being you. I would tell a trans people to get somebody your coner. If that's how you feel, be open about it, but don't just go to your family. Don't go to a therapist, go to somebody who's experienced, Go get you a mentor. They don't have no I didn't see no supported mentor Big Brother, Big Sister, Big transits to Big Brother programs in the LGBT community. I didn't see that. I'm looking for it, I never found it. To the fact that I wanted.
To maybe came. Maybe maybe that's something that you should be doing, was.
To create these groups because who know who know you? Which people who's supposed to be around you and like mind they like you because y'all said similar to sleeping or being different, that's cool. That's okay, So you different, that's cool. But you have to go get you a mentor. The counselor gonna tell you, Yeah, this is right, a mentor gonna tell you the truth. Baby, This is why I went to Let me show you my pictures of the other times when I wasn't passable. Let me show
you the truth. Are the times that, hey, my my surgeon didn't go right, or my silicon ingestions leak out of my cheek. Let me take you the truth when I had to go to the doctor, tell them the truth. Bef for the dramatic changes and once again do not transition out of child wright till you're eighteen. I mean, that's the only thing I could tell him, because at the end of the day, I have also a lot
of these kids. Now I'm gonna do what they want to do because their parents allowing on them do so much. But their parents do not need to allow them to start cutting they stuff and taking hormones and wander well weed. I see the loved water to day was ten years old on Walmar he had a twelve inch we gone and nail zone. And now mom was like, I don't know what's going on no more.
And I always say that, King, I love that you say that, because I always say, who is the parent in your house? I want my children to be happy that if any of my children turned out to be trains, I'm gonna roll with it. But they will not get any kind of medical anything until after, like you said, at the age of eighteen, because and that to me, I personally think that's still too young because the money
hasn't truly developed. But at that point they considered pretty grown according to Society societ.
I did watch eighteen to Society, they've grown, but eighteen is too young still, Yeah, I was, hey, I was twenty twenty two, you know, but some trans girls been started that young and being fifteen years plus. That's how why you gonna still well and get experienced.
From I want to ask you what what entailed D transitioning? What kind of what process was that? What was the process of D transitioning?
You know what I thought once I once I took off that, I was like, Okay, it's gonna be better. Right mentally, sheet I went to in the now, I'm maybe thinking I made the wrong decision because all the money I spent, you know, I spent a lot of money being that girl. So I was like, name, I waste all my money. So then I look at my chest. When I took my infants out, I still had a whole sea cup. So every day I'm looking in the mirrors and me and I'm like, lord, I thought I
thought this was gone. I thought this was gone right, And I started dealing with depression deeper because I'm like, okay, so now I got don't have another surgeon, So now I gotta spend money on search. So I had two more surgeons prior to my impluts taking out, So now I got the trans men squards that were people call them, Yeah, it's ready people squars, uh, because I had them implants and that was so big and I had them in for so long that I had so much loose skin
that that made me more depressed that like name. That's why I started thinking that I made the right decisions because now I got to deal with this and I had the welcompression the shirts, and I was uncomfortable. I started being uncomfortable. Man, how about today?
Are you happy today?
Honey?
Do you fight any happiness today?
I'm happy. I have my days when it none. Just want to come down to just not the transition, just overall. I'm just trying to find my place. That my place in this world were, to find my journey in this world and to find my courage in my life because I love them. I lost my life when I need transition because I had this flame to be a great trans woman and I feel like I felt at that I feel like I have failed the trans community. Right.
But then I had one trans girl tell me, she said, baby, I'm proud of you because many of them girls don't make it out.
Yes, and the courage, the courage that it takes to do that was. Let me let me tell you something that that was courage, baby. It's courage to step to think that you want to be one thing and then you change your magict. That is the courage because you are so easily influenced it. But like you said about a group around you, So I'm glad that God implanted common sense trans women around you to let you know that you were okay, whether you were transgender or not transgender.
That is what we have to surround ourselves with people who have a common sense knowledge of happiness, sees everything else, everything else, you just need to help you. I applaud you, and I applaud the women, the trans women in your life that saw your heart and not what they wanted you to be.
Oh yeah, they was great. You know. The one of the few that I had was great. It was when I de transition and when I got on Facebook and post my d transition. That's when I was attacked by other trans people online. I was confused.
Then.
That's why I told you I had to deact, just disappear because I'm like, wait a minute now, So I thought I was at least doing something to better meat. So I'm not if I don't say this person. You feel that I want this racing line to the community. You feel that I don't deserve to even say nothing
about trans rights and trans anything. Are you feel that, hey, I don't mind no more because at the end of the day, I did something that you don't approve because I didn't stay like you, and you feel that, hey, I'm the reason why people in this world don't like you. They ain't got nothing to do to me. But I got told my mother it was you flying. I'll be looking at you for a while.
And.
They all self recently, it took me a lot to write you. I've been writing people, you know. I tried to reach out to be transition trans me and they shut me down, don't want to talk about it. And I was okay with that. Anybody got their own journey. But we got a purpose in this world. And I you know, at first, I used to look at tears Messine a lot. I got a test with somebody here say that there'd be more transfoman like you're in tears
mess when I was on Facebook. But people say things that you look at them sideways and you stopped looking up or just look at them as inspiration. And I started following you more. And I remember twenty nineteen when that interview came out and I threw my phone and I say, God, this is the person who I needed. And I'm gonna be okay, because God, I'm gonna meet this person one day. We're gonna just sit down and have a decent guy mysation. But it's your time in God.
So I've been manifesting this to tween nineteen to even sit down with you, because I say, well, Lord, out of anybody in the community, who could I talk to to me? You like the Oprah of the transcommunity because you come in neutral and you're coming as you are. First of all, you a parent, so you always got your paring hat on first. And I told Mama, I'm minded in Flame because Flame is a parent first. Ain't anybody this lifestyle ain't about the transition. Flame as a
parent first. And when you're a parent first, you have a duty in this world and it's bigger than you, and it's bigger than your kids. So when I see that you love your childre your children love you, And I said, well, Lord, the community hate hr, I said, but you know what, they hated me too, So I knew I had somebody in this world that was like minded, like me and understand me as just a human being, not a by sexual man, because I really don't. I
don't seek around like the old men no more. I wanted to unless you're a trans man have kids, but I learned that day they'd like to lay their lays low and wor wide. So I'm thirty eight years old this year, I hang got no age, I be no age, and I have been a hope.
Okay, yes, first of all, let me tell you thank you for that. And you know, and I always feel like my duty goes in vain sometimes because maybe I'm not the most popular person, but my stace never changes because I am so comfortable being me and I'm hoping that just like you, because just like you watch me and admire me, I saw a character that made me or a person that made me feel comfortable with being me.
That is what we're put on earth to do, is to be kind, just what your shirt says, and to help other people along the way and hopefully they catch you on. I want to ask you a question when you de transition down, did you have to take any kind of male hormones anything to get your your balance back.
No, my doctor didn't want to you nothing.
Uh.
He wanted me just let it just go naturally. And that's what I did.
Yeah, because as me as as naturally born me, and that should transition to trans women as long as we stop taking female horn homes. Our body was as long as we say about testicles, our body was still to Creetest sasserone. So the doctor is verybody about that. I'm telling you, I'm sitting here and I gotta be funny. I gotta be funny as hell in two hours. But
I am. I'm I'm broken and happy and admiring your strengths and your courage because, let me tell you something, as much crap as I talk and you see me on coffee tap all the time, I don't even know if I would have the courage to de transition if I wasn't, you know, because flame has been my character. Flame, that's been my bread and butter flat. That's who I am. And I am happy with me. I am happy with me, and my children are happy with me. So thank of
recognizing that and seeing that. But wow, that was that was something wasn't about me.
But I think you, I think your story is big er, honey, I really flew I don't know if there's to be a counselor for for trans kids. See you transition twice, So I think those bitches ship shut the hell up. You got it all over them. Yeah, and I'm gonna know this is my mom had again. You're threatened by you, and that's why they don't like you. It's like the bully on the playground, right, the bully is front. Yeah, that's it. But I think I think you this is
only the beginning of your story. You got to go through everything that you've gone through to get to the pinnacle, to get to the peak where you start to make moves. Now, as you've heard on Flame show, like play the chess game, not checker. So start making so start making plans. You said that your brother was flew right, made the right choices. You're still very young. I didn't even go to school until you was your age. But think about counseling classes
and stuff. Yes, and support groups. Call some of these doctors and say, you know, you get hooked up with the support group or start a support group. I think that would be terrific.
Just like you said that you watched me and I was the person. Somebody is going to see you, somebody is going to hear your story, and this is your purpose. This is your purpose, your brother. It's not because your brother. You said, your brother's more successful. Don't let it look like that God has a purpose for you. That is why you went through the changes that you went through. I didn't get popular until fifty You understand me.
I didn't.
I did not get known until fifty years old, but stayed in the game because it was who I was. I stay true to me, You stay true to you. You are going to help so many people in your life in your hear me when I tell you, in your life, you are gonna save a lot of kids and a lot of people who think that they have to be somebody else because somebody else told them they have to be somebody else. You got a purpose, baby,
and it's huge. It is enormous. I see it. Just your story is the truth and the way you deliver it with the compassion and the empathy and the honesty. Baby, I'm telling I'm ready to cray right now.
Nobody make me crack, Nobody makes me a BIRTHDA July fourteen, right it is my closest auntiem I told Mama that too, and she started crying because my mama was like this, my mom my brother are cancers.
Sorry.
I know that counsel energy from y'all. And I said, Mamma, you know what, miss Flaming, My aunt Janas got the same birthday she in heaven and she say what essay? So I know that was in Jana's that sin flame my way, and.
That's the truth. That's how we get the A'm telling you've got a beautiful ease about you too. You're gonna make some other trans kids. You know how you didn't feel accepted and you did you did? You felt unseen. You're gonna make somebody feel seen. And the other thing that I want you to do, I don't know anything about Texas, so I'm gonna be honest about that. Other
than I can't stand Abbot. Rather than that I hope, I hope selling over greases his wheels, is that it learned a lot because you still have been able to go to the bathroom wherever the hell you wanted the bathroom. Don't let them dictate to you. And you're gonna educate the younger generation so they know what to to demand, not what to sit back and accept.
Oh, yes, see my second When I went to the second job, I already knew the laula way. I told a flam my guy, I talked to you on off the line, a situation, you know, certain stuff. But the second job, I learned the laws. And guess what, that's when I knew that LGBTQ people need to pay more tention to the laws. A lot of trans people want to run and say, oh, I'm a head and station woman, babe, that law stays different. Don't let the law fool you out of who you are and real life because they
play a double advocate with that. When I was a transforman, I started learning. I just looked at the paper that say post op feed trans woman, uh pre out trans woman. So they are ready to start and letting you know that, hey, you are a difference. Then this is who you are. This is who you are. And when I was gonna get an SR artist, my I'm gonna drop to her Nieces, I was gonna come. I was gonna have a sex change.
The twenty three I had a three year plane. My three year plan was to give my boot, was give my man chained and buy me a cat. Well, I caught up banana split. That's why I used to call them back there.
I want to.
Well, even though I knew I couldn't use the muscles, I just want to want because that's what I thought it was. You see, but I'm playing. I didn't spend them fifteen thousand dollars. I didn't findance that money. I was gonna findance to listen. List I want you.
To go back. I want you to remember this. It was never about the money. It was never about the money, because money can be replaced. But if you make a decision that is you cannot go back on. You would have had to live with there. And if you think that you're unhappy. I know some sisters now, some of our trans sisters that have made have had the SRS, and they are absolutely unhappy. They cannot financial and you can't go back. You know what that is? They want
here to quit her. Oh you just may not redo that. So God saved you from that. And I'm telling you it's never about the money. It is about the experience. And thank you for not making that decision, because if that would have made you unhappy, you can't you can see how you could remove the boobs can't put the pedis back. You can't put the peas.
Round about that.
That is right, That is that's.
Why I ain't getting no silicone injection because I want to see old flame I had. Let me tell you something, I think when I seen r I kill, I said, oh I want it. Oh give me that right. Yeah, But you know, like I told him, at least I was embraced by a trance woman, which was the right direction, not miss Bobby. You know, like I wouldn't Nobodo jenn Fall female because I knew at the beginning. At first I thought that's what it was. But I knew I can never be no woman now, even through bones and
the inside our bodies is different. But they're not ready for that real conversation. But like you said, we here to say the children, and that's my main focus. And the chat that hurted me the most was, like I told you, I amm jazz because I watched jazz thoughts. Yeah, and because I watched every bit of how that young lady life just got ruining. And Dwayne Wade, Baby, I've been watching that baby so closely. I just want to hug that baby. Let that baby know. Free yourself, baby
from that beat the love. Pretty nice looking boy, you can do yo, Dada is one of the richest man in the world. Don't It's bigger than what you think it is out here and you look good and you close and you may a little good the way you want to be, But it's bigger than what you think it is, because this life gonna hit you on your ass, and y'all the money your daddy got ain't gonna replace you.
Yeah, No, that's a whole other who's whole other conversation. So one of the things that hit me when you first started talking was how unhappy you were, which has nothing to do with being trans right. You were trying to feel something, thinking it was gonna make you happy. You got to You gotta be happy with the inside of you first, yes, Jak as a parent, then then make these decisions you read.
You're right about that.
So it may maybe that's it. Maybe I'm telling you you got a purpose. I don't know if it's advocacy. I don't know what it is, but you got something to know you You need to sit back and make a plan, maybe another three year plan.
I just be worldwide, you know, I mean, I'm inspired by the right people, and I watch these people right from the bottom to the top, and I tell people, uh, don't feel a sorry for me, be proud of me.
I'm very Let me tell you that I'm very proud of I told you that you have the courage that you have. I don't even and I'm like, you know, I'm a bold queen, but I don't even know if I have the courage in my in my dna that you have to do what you have done. I'm telling you you are. You are for the Nomena Done, King. I need you to I need you to remember that always out. You are for nomen Done and you are going to touch millions of people to help so many
broken spirits, broken hearts to find their happiness. The question is are you happy now? Are you actually happy now?
I'm I'm happy every day that way. My family is seeing my Auntie say, boy, you just you always happen. I'm always smiling. I said, Manny, I made it, and I can as a people, I said, man, I can do so much as now, I said, but I got to find my light again. And I am happy, you know, saying I'm happy I made the right decision to go back. I'm happy that even through my bad times, I'm happy
that I experienced it. So I can be on a panel one day and sit with people, all of us just sit together and just you know, spin it all out and spend the truth the differences, and so it can help people make the right decisions because we all need somebody. And yeah, I'm so happy with who I am now.
And I think, listen, we think I'm telling you, Bobby said, And Bobby has never had a loss for words. Bobby is not said. Bobby is so enamored with your story. So like I am, because I'm telling you, I never wanted to be transition because I loved to be in flame my rope. I love you and I still love me on the inflat and it just outly I help people without even trying, and yourself included, which is what you're going to be able to do. What was your what was your girl name? Mate?
Now you're trying the night you're trying to get out on all them.
Old was out the closet now, Nibbia?
My name was Nibia?
Okay, yeah it was? And I got the pictures and you were a lovely girl. You are a lovely trades girl. I'll tell you very passable. The wall that you climbed over to come from being Nivia to King. Do you ever look in the mirror sometimes where you just for no reason and Nibbia pops in the mirror sometimes yeah, she never.
She come up, you know. I tell my mama all the time. It's just in my head. And I tell people, you know, I got three personalities. I don't know which one of the holes gonna knock you out, So you better be prepared, you know, you know, But I do know. I always someone I say, one day I'm gonna make a movie. I'm being a movie you know with it. Don't be up. Group what's come together and make a amazing movie. Just to support this different aspects of the
lifestyle and everybody how we are different, group together. I've got this pitch if forgot to see you. This is my first time I had did I did this at seventeen years old. Who you were little as seventeen?
Yeuse, I wish I could squat like that. My knees hit fifty and I.
It was crazy. That's when the time I knew too. I look in them mirror, I say, oh I can do this. I even had a transgimitter too. I had phenomenal black trans woman. That's how big in my mind that I was like, this is it for me? You know what I'm saying. So I was really dedicated to I want I don't want trans all the trans people to look at this and say something different. I want
them to know that I was dedicated to this. But I lost my fighting this, But I want to fight at another day in another way.
Were you won for you? See, it's never about a group. You have to win only for you because you are the one that looks back in the mirror. It matters. Yes, it's okay to be a part of an organization or a group, especially when it's accepting. But you know how our community can be. They can shunt up. They can love you today and dislike you tomorrow and cancel you the next day. That's why you always find your joy.
You're like your peace because the only thing that matters is the person that's looking back in the mirror at you. That person needs to smile back at you. That person you can see you can smile in the mirror, and the mirror will give you a reflection whether it's not smiling back at you. Because your joy is not inside of you. My joy is inside of me. So when I look in the mirror, see this pretty red bitch,
that pretty red bitch is smiling back at me. When you look in the mirror and you see your handsome self, King, you make me sure that handsome self is always smiling back at you.
Yes, that's important, hey, And that's why I've been staying grounding that and just being important in that and making sure I know that I am important. Now I know that I'm not a failure and know that for important.
It's always important. You have to remember you were never a sailure. It just work for you.
You went through this storm, You went through the storm of the life that you went through, both transitions for God to get you to your purpose. Because it's never our will, it is always his will. Yes, ma'am, you your life was already architect. God is an architect. Your grouppet was done and you just had to go through the motions. But now you know the strength and courage that you have, King is going to save so many people. And I applaud you, We appreciate you.
Here it laft I, thank you, I thank God, thank you. Thanks Bobby, and I know y'all got a show and I want you to do good. Knock him out one day when you come to the FW. I'll come to your show, you know, and this is.
Gonna put your stage if you come.
And this why not be this name might not be in us because you never know what a part. There's so much other stuff that's in me, like a learn from you still to this day, no matter what I've been through, because it's still like you keep that y'all, kep reminding me. I'm not a failure to me. I had that been chopping my head for so long and you know I'm dealing with that, you know what I'm saying. So I thank y'all for at least a knowledge in
that part of me. That's all My mama said, the sad and you're not a failure, baby, and I'm like, Mom, I'm just but she said, I know mentally you're dealing with and you're dealing with it. You all get better and I'm a getting I'm getting better. I'm getting better luck and just finally.
And you will. And the only way to get better is to stay in the game. Don't mind controls everything, So don't let chose to oneself tell your other self that you're not good enough, and you're not gonna you tell yourself, Yes the hell I am. I am going to be a phenomenon because I'm telling you, Kay, your story is powerful and truthful, and that is what we are living in so many lives. We need to hear the God to honest truth to make us know that we are okay. We are just find the way we are.
So whether you are trans whether you de transition, whether you're gay, whether you're fat, you're skinny, you're black, you're white, you're you are good enough for you. But you have to tell you that because you need to understand I am good enough for me. I may not be good enough for you, but you might not good enough for me. That's how they feel. So you have to tell yourself I'm good enough for me. I want to tell you, King that we appreciate you. Oh my god, Bobby the story. Listen,
We're hugging you back. We're hugging you back, We're hugging you powerful. Yeah. The hour, this was an hour and it was it was so great. King, Thank you for sitting with me and Bobby sharing your flory with people who I have already told all the flames. Maybe y'all got a story that's coming that's gonna knock your socks, salt. But because it is so artist and it's so real, and it's so and it's happening every day. It's happening
every day, right, and every day child's transitioning. Yeah, and they may not be happy with the transition somebody makes. They may have been easily influenced, so, just like you, they may have been molested or touch to make them think that this is what they're supposed to be. You, my darling, You, my darling, are the powerful one who holds the key. And I'm ready to see you on the national platform to help so many people. I will be sitting at the audience learning because I'm still learning.
I'm still learning it. At thirty five. There used to be thirty that now thirty five, I'll get the visiting back.
Wow, I was, I was really giving you twenty one.
You know we're not gonna push it down there that I was five.
At least twenty two. I thought y'all was a gold than girls. Keep coming.
I'm older than this, Sophia, Good God, listen.
I told my you know what's crazy, so Film McIntosh. I was at so Phil McIntosh a club and in Peril where so Field McIntosh left Dallas. That's how I just to let you know. How long are him?
That?
People who don't think I know them? I gotta picture a silkie. I know y'all. I didn't been about y'all. But now y'all finna see me and thanks.
Guess what? Guess what you knew them? But guess what you know? Now?
Miss you?
You know? You know? Crean you know. And I'm tell yourself that. Listen, I'm just an entity. You are. You are the weeds.
Oh yeah, you are the week I think. Look I tell him. You say it's learning.
Laugh.
I think I should be learning, laugh and cry because we do allot your channel.
Baby, you about to make me up here like this? Oh Betty good biggest, it'sy on the plane. I was about to break down for your story. Good guy, don't break down case. We need you to knock them out on that space tonight.
That's what you know. You can break We can. We got many days to break down. I've been la soon, you know.
Please hit me up. You got my nether, Please hit me up from here at laugh Alarry, I just want to tell you thank you for sharing your story with us now and teaching and educating and helping and reaching and touching and all of those things.
And you got to remember again in front of my mom had on anytime you have something that you feel as a failure or it didn't go the way you wanted, it's not. That's not it. It's the lessons that you learn when you brush yourself off and you keep moving. And that's where I think your story is. I don't I don't think any of this was a failure. I think it was on purpose. And so now I'm looking I'm going to be disp point if you don't do anything with that.
Oh no, this this is my.
I'm going to give you that Catholic guilt.
Yeah.
This is a big, big lead for me. And I'm proud of myself because this took courage for me to eat it even reach out.
And I want you to do me a favorite. Please thank Bolets and all of your family for your mom for the because as trans people, we need that base of support and we needed to start at home. I need, I need my mother to love me for who I am as her kid, not what I decided to be coming up. I need her to love me as her kids. So I love your mother. I love your family for being that base and groundediness because that helped you make the crucial decision to go forward and to change something else.
Like Bobby said, you transition twice. Do you know what that entails? Mentally? You know the strict that you have in your DNA. You are a warrior, baby, you are a fucking warrior. Know that and all that shit.
It's true.
And those stars that you have on your chest, you were talking about those on your one.
As African American people, as black people, we would put warriors, scars and markings on us to let us know that we were the greatest. Those cards made you the greatest king. I'm telling you this, Slain Moreau is telling you your scars, your history, your what you would have made you the greatest. That you teach that to somebody else.
Yes, and I will. And you know I do think everybody because I said if it want for my musings having a support, even though they han't known how deeply I felt inside mentally I didn't expressed it, but just know I had the love. And you're right, Baldy. The greatest thing my mama could have told me was go find somebody a part of that community, even your bisexial land. Go find somebody that community to can help you. And
ballet was a gift man. That ballet is a gift from God because Boley is grouded us was a what they called a game.
Mother.
That was true.
That was true.
You know.
It was the first generation I had children. I was afraid trans woman of her child.
She helped me.
And I think all of them. I think everybody. I think y'all, and I think my future fans because people don't this is just the beginning of King Baby.
Yes it is, Yes, it is. I know that and own that and believe that always that. We appreciate you here, thank you King, y'all. What can we what can our listen as Follyway cakes so they can get to know you.
I only have Twitter's King. I only got Twitter because everybody, everybody else they shut me down.
That goes with the territory.
But I know, and that's what had to me.
So on.
So I did build up to the top that King testimony in twenty six so I actually started you know, doing uh my videos I showed like my surgery, a bandages and stuff, saying I was going to tell my detrus it's your story and I build a great fan base now to where I can get nothing and go live and top. Now this right here, don't give me the courage because I was really scared. Honestly, you can't. I'm never gonna hear fear in you. You don't even own fear. You have not faith that you have transitioned
and de transit. There is no.
Fear in your spirit. You are a fucking warrior. And I told you that your warrior, remember that.
Big warrior.
Yes, thank you, my darling for joining us. We cannot leave. We cannot leave this space where giving our message because you're a laughing alone. We are not trying to get you to change your mind. We are only trying to use your mind.
Because why Bobby, Because the mind is a terrible thing to life.
And if you mind and your heart and your spirit is aligned like Kings, joy will come in your spirit and you will never lose it. King. Thank you, thank you so so much, have last night baby, Yes, thank you all darling. Why wow, Bobby, I'm touched. Don't miss an episode of laugh and Learn. Listen and subscribe on the Black Effect Podcast Network, a heart radio app or where where you get your podcasts. Laugh and Learn Podcasts is a production of the Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio.
Our ejective producer is Tiffany Hattish. Our theme music is by the one and only Chrissy Payne. Thank you guys, this is Flaming Row. Don't forget to laugh, Listen and learn,