Flame Flame.
If you watch your coffee time the baby you know the name Flame my bro also known as my Roe Flame. Come in with last and come in with Jim Love loundes. Baby, you better catch it when you can drop a knowledge from fatherhood to politics, shouting now comics, just paying homage.
What's up?
Tips?
Yeah you know she raised shot towns on speaking to the grown a second, we're gonna last cut him and kick it and at again. We leave her with just a lifted spirits. Think you want to revisit so your first like a listen, you'll folks are your slip oh folks that we dig it.
Hey, no this do what you do? Ca no this do what you do?
Can no do what I do?
And no.
Week.
Hey hey, hey, welcome to this week's episode of Laughing Learning. I am your host, Blaming Roe. I also have my beautiful co host you know her as icon or Toots, but her name is Bobby Clippers, who just celebrated her thirty ninth birthday. That was your birthday present, Bobby allows you to be thirty nine again. So that was the birthday. Yeah, that's what we need to do and we are so glad. You guys are here. I want to start out this week with just saying prayers to the people that are
all afflicted by the wars all over the world. I absolutely hate wars because at the end of a war, you never know what it was about, and so many unnecessary casualties happen. So that is our take on the war. I'm not taking side on this. I just hate that it's all going on. And I want to say prayer
to I beloved President and President Biden. I know everybody has their feelings about who they feel how they feel about whom, but I feel a great presidence of Biden, and I pray that he gets back to American soil safely and unharmed because he's over there repairing fences that another president broke. I ain't gonna get into that. We get into that another week. But this week, this week, we have a very special treat for you guys. Oh
my god. So you know, like I'm a parent in comedy, we have come across another parent in comedy who is phenomenal. She is from ALBERTI camp is it Alberta? Alberta? Let me say the word Burda, Calgary. That was a car. I had something in my car Okay, So we want to welcome to a very special guest this week, and I want you, guys, all my claimants and all the listeners out there left and learned to give her thumbs
around the clause. She is a fantastic comedian, phenomenal parent, and a person that you need to get to know. Makes a noise they jump for of Fira Eisenberg, Mazing Jones.
Oh, hello, Yes, I grew up in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, which sounds like a you're like, all right, that is a place. But just to be clear, I left.
Oh it's cold in Canada. I might have left too.
Yeah, I live. I've been living in New York for almost twenty years.
What bought you?
Yeah, exactly, I guess stand up, Really, I was, you know, I was toiling around in Canada, actually Toronto at the time, and everyone in Toronto kept talking about like a bigger scene in New York, and I thought, well, I should get there before I know what it's like to fail and have consequences.
You know.
I was just, I used to call it. I was just at the I was still at the like really happy to have Ikia furniture point in my life.
Been there.
Yeah, I'm not going to say it's changed. By the way, I'm not going to say it's changed.
I wasn't ture if it was a boy or school that brought you, what got you into comedy?
You know what. I was just talking to another comedian that I'm on a tour with right now about how the first time I saw stand up comedy was at a club in Calgary, Alberta. And I didn't like it at all, like live stand up comedy. I'd seen it on television, et cetera, but live stand up comedy, and I didn't like it. I thought it was very male. I thought it was very hateful. I thought it was nothing to do with me. And this comedian said back to me, he goes, but you still did it.
Huh, Well, isn't that. Isn't that what life is? When you see something that doesn't doesn't affect or doesn't work for you, if you get into it to make the change. So even if you get in common to make it more positive. But you said nothing affected to you, and you reached out to other people and you found your tribe. That is what it is. You have to find your tribe in comedy because comedy is subjective. You know. Some people may like the mean and the and the rout.
Some people may like the joy, Some people may like the fun facts, you know, the simple stuff. Animal. Animal jokes work with everybody. Animal jokes work with everybody, unless it's abusive. But I love that. I love that. I was gonna ask you, so, what was this scene like in Alberta, Canada, and albert and alert Calgary a bt different from New York because I love East Coast common, I love East Coast com Yeah.
So I actually the very first time I stepped on stage was in Vancouver, so as far west as you can go in the darn country, and it was you know, I think it was. I had no perspective, but I thought it was pretty good. I thought it was very open. I was with other amateur comedians, and let me tell you, there was a lot of women. There was people of
different ages, different backgrounds. It actually never occurred to me until much later that there was so much kind of like white male energy in stand up because a bunch of the amateurs that I was around, they were just all different, Like, it never didn't occur to me that it would be weird to start when you were fifty five, or that it'd be weird to start if you were in high school. Like, it was just so much variety.
So in that way it set me up pretty good, and then I learned the other lessons later.
Comedy is definitely a learning process. Every time you get on stage, that's young comedy, solid fame, you will find something new about you, not about the audience. What about you. Yeah, absolutely, I'm looking. We have questions that I want to ask you. So you're the youngest of six.
Yes, it feels like when I say that, I'm talking about being a child from a different generational era, because it's kind of rare that people have six kids rolling around.
Oh my biggest question is if you was the baby of six, did you ever get anything new or was everything a hand me down?
Oh my goodness, everything was a hand me down. All my clothes for sure. And on top of that, my mother very old fashioned. She was a very good seamstress. So even if things like were being handed down and there were the wrong size, or my brothers, she would change them. She would just change them. On the other side,
I had my barbies had the most amazing clothes. My mother would make clothes from my Barbies and they I had fur hats for them and really cool like green plastic see through raincoats from all just the different fabric. And so yeah, my barbiees had a high fashion that were a couture. They had bespoke couture outfits.
Oh that is that is so funny because your obsession was putting clothes on body, My was taking them all. Bobby, feel freez up in here whatever you want.
I know, I'm just listening to her talk about making clothes because my mom did it, like the butt tricks, remember the butt Tricks patterns and whatnot.
And my mother did the same thing. She would take for us.
She would take somebody else's outfit and or stuff they were getting rid of, and she would she never because she had herself. She was one of eleven, my mom, so they were pour so she would always be making people's clothes over and so she would do that for me, and that way nobody else knew that had handed them down, that that's exactly they'd look.
And go, that looks familiar. But she'd remake everything. I love it.
She was never so nice. I'm going to have to tell her. She was a miserable mother. She never made clothes for any of my dolls.
I never had. You know what the irony of this whole conversation is that when we were big families, I didn't have a big family. My mama only had three, but my grandmother had like nine kids. I don't think that we knew that we were poor. They were just having kids and we were never hungry. You know, Thames were tight, you know, but I don't think we knew
we were poor. Now the Internet makes you remind you that you're poor, you're you're less, saying you're not as good as That's what they make you try to believe. I don't teach my child.
You know. The reason the one thing I knew that there was different is that when I grew up, it was it was a time of economic prosperity for my family comparatively, And so I was given ballet lessons. I wanted ballet lessons, and I was given ballet lessons, and no other of the kids had extracurricular activities paying for an extra curric Are you crazy? But I got ballet lessons. And I will tell you that somehow that ended up making me a stand up because I went through I went.
I went through all these ballet lessons from elementary school all the way through high school. And my school was pretty serious and I worked hard, but I was never great. And they would give out awards, and I remember at the end of I think I was, you know, fourteen, everyone got awards like best Pirouette or Amazing Jette or whatever it was, and I got Miss Personality.
Oh that's the that's what you just showed up with ward.
Nothing says you're not gonna be a dancer.
Yeah, oh my god.
That's but it probably did get you ready because you were comfortable be in front of a stage, you know, in front of people.
That that and it built you a character. Because now everybody is given an award, so there's no distinction of who's the best, who's the second best is because everybody now gets ah, you get honorable mention. It makes people weak. To me, that's just my opinion. I like, these keys need to work forward.
That's true.
We're glad you participated, but you have to work to get this trophy. But they don't have that anymore because everybody wants to be rewarded for nothing.
That is so true.
It's true.
I also I also think, like just the discipline of doing something all the time and maybe not being good at it. As you know, ballet and that dance did not come supernaturally to me. My body was not, you know, something like the physical like that. There are people with just advantages based on how their genetics are put together, and the rest of us have to work really really
hard to just get okay. And let me tell you something that is a good thing to learn for stand up comedy, because stand up comedy requires a huge commitment and a lot of discipline. I think some people go faster, some people start really naturally great, but at a certain point you're all going to due.
You gonna do that. Oh yeah, And any comedian, any comedian work there waiting salt will say I've had some lousy nights, And I said that because that's what you have to do. It was one show. If you come take that whole component on was like I wasn't. It was one show. You might have two shows bad back to back. Now if you have three or more, you might want to rethink your profession. But but don't.
Don't you learn something now, guys, I mean because I'm not I'm not a comedian when you have those bad shows, isn't there something like a pearl that you can pull away and say I didn't hit the timing right? Or maybe for this you have to change your set for a certain audience because you know, if you neither one of you are too raunchy. But if you are doing raunchy things, you're not going to do it in front of a seven year old audience. No, It's it's like a lesson, right.
I think you have to accept the process of it too, which is its own kind of interesting mind shift because I some times we'll have a string of not great shows at like a club, and I'll say to another comedian that I highly respect and look up to, like, oh my god, I gotta like get through this rut, and they go, oh, you know, every once in a while, I'll just do a bunch of shows and I'll even go I'll say to myself, am I even a comedian?
And just to know that everyone's always going through that, And I think that's better because, like you said, Bobby, it makes you reflect and go, what's different? What do I need to change? Something's not working? I need to grow with this instead of just going like, well, just keep doing it, it will work again.
Yeah, that is that is very true. I fear because a lot of comedians take on every show, got the h and I love. I love when I have a string of twelve straight great shows in a row. But then when at thirteen will come, I'm gonna allow that to have more more power of me having a bad show than the twelve that I'm twelve consistently good shows that hey, and you're right here, we do question like, oh, is this really what I'm supposed to be doing? Should
I be a comedian? Because it's like that, and you know, and for us so we've been in a game for twenty years, it's still like that. It is October and it is recipentis awareness month, and we've seen in your bio that your mom survived. For me answer so, oh thank god.
Oh Farah, oh Sarah me?
Are you s yes? Are you look? I hope to get mammograms. I hope they haven't. Fan it's a couple of months in here, but I think they like, don't know, for a VISCA or something. I'm not sure. How was how was that when you were diagnosed with that? How was that?
I mean, you know, the the non funny side of it is that it broke me apart into pieces. I think because you feel I felt a sense of intense betrayal, betrayal of my body, betrayal of the world. Like I was like, this is not my story, this is not how it's supposed to be. I don't want to deal with this being you know, I grew up in Canada, but I've obviously lived in the US for many years. But dealing with the medical system is very hard. You have to stand up for yourself lot and really wade
through that. I will say that, you know, when I was eight, I went on stage a lot, every time I could throughout all of it, and the stage became my refuge because you know, you're so active when you're on stage. You're so active. You know, people talk about live in the moment, be present. There's no living in the moment like you are when you're on stage. And I could kind of pretend I was what the old O Fera like, I wasn't ready yet to move on
to whoever I was going to be coming up. I didn't know who that was because I was in the middle of it. But I could be the old O Fera and I loved it. I loved living in this kind of suspended fantasy of everything's okay. You know, and you get the light. I'm sure many of your listeners know.
If I'm listening to all your episodes as a stand up, they often give you the light when it's time to get off stage at a club, and I would want I wouldn't want to get off because I'd be like, then I have to go back to reality.
As as a person who transy the woman who have breath, I want to tell you or something I want to tell you, thank you for choosing to fight to live because a lot of times it's mind of a manner to peep with me to people because you hear something horrible and oh, this is it for me, I'm done. It's not. You have to turn it around mentally because the man controls everything. And I love you. Thank you
for choosing to fight and winning. Thank you for that, because a lot of people just throw into towel and say it's over, I'm done, I'm going to die. This is it. It's never it, It's never it, and that you choose for it to be it. So thank you.
Yeah, Oh my goodness, that is so so nice here here, and it is it is scary, and you know, I feel like there is I become very aware of, you know, that kind of life force in you where you kind of get I don't know, I got a little angry, like I was like, I can't wait to get through this so I can make fun of it, and I want to write about it, and I want to I also so I just wanted I didn't relate to the
pink ribbon campaign. I didn't relate to a lot of the stuff that was like, all right, everybody, you have breast cancer, throwing a pink bow on hop on a bike. I was like, no, like, where are where are the people like me that want the I don't know, goth version, like, oh, let's all dress in black and have a bourbon shot to talk about how things are weird. You know. So I wanted to. I wanted to be so young, too
so soon and out of nowhere. You know, I think they apply us with genetics and I didn't have any of the markers. So it just felt like, you know, and that's the truth of all so many things in the medical industry. You want answers. You're like, well, how did it happen, where's it come from? And sometimes they just go, I don't know. Hard, that is so hard.
Somebody's got to be first. Yeah, yeah, somebody's got to be first.
And how many children do you have with I.
Just have one, but he feels like many.
Well, well you were older, right, so I had mine really young, so you have tons of energy, So having one that's a little. If I ever had one, my god, I have to take a nap and a snack just to get them out of bed.
I don't know how you thank you, thank you? Flame it? How many I have?
My pull out game? And my pull out game was not as tight as you learned. It's called trial by era, trial by era. I can't get caught up. But how much how much does your child did you take to use as a material on stage? Because my children have become my greatest material from experience.
Oh yes, oh yes, I mean for one, I think, I mean it's a gold mine out there. If you don't use it, you were missing out. And two I yeah, so I just so much. And I even host a podcast called Parenting as a Joke, which, by the way, you need to come on, where we talk about funny people comedians, because you know, this is a very non traditional job we have with weird hours and what it's
like to parent on top of that. So I use my kid in my act as much as possible, you know, bearing in mind that I think as he gets older, I'll have to maybe pull back a little bit because I don't want him to ever feel like I'm talking about him on stage, you know. But it's a gold mine. And I also like the fact that I, you know, I come from this perspective where I was I was child I thought I was going to be childless by choice forever. I change my mind and managed to get pregnant,
you know, by a miracle and have a child. And I like talking about it on stage because I want I want everyone to kind of look at me and just think that it's cool and it's relevant and it's real, you know, because I think some people go, oh, like parenting humor, it's i don't know, like not not cool, right, It's like, especially mom humor. They'll be like, oh, it's not cool, and I'm like, no, it's totally cool. It's it's totally relevant and you're gonna laugh at this because
it's part of the human experience. And I cannot tell you the amount of people that come up to me after a show and basically secretly just want to know all kinds of things. They're like, did you have fertility? Things like people are so curious if they are thinking of having a family, like a how are you doing it with the night? So many questions. So I feel like that's good. I must be hitting some conversation that people aren't having.
And that is what a great comedian is to me, my opinion, will Field someone who could talk about stuff that is relatable to everybody. Now no gender, no sex, no size, no color, but it's relatable. So you are helping and teaching somebody. But my key is I always tell them as much money as gonna cost me. Oh, I'm getting my money back. On page I tell my key is up on page I tell the answers up. I got to give them. They spend my money, I'm
getting my money back. So if you guys are the base of Mama material, if y'all are the basis of my material and it relates across the world, I'm getting my money back.
That's amazing.
It's identifiable. I mean, I love that.
That's the storytelling and the family storytelling, like that's what when I first saw Flame, it was the they ready special that Tiffany Hattyship have produced, and I immediately connected. As she was talking, I'm like, oh my god, yeah, you know, so I think people, you know, I think the bulk of the people actually identify that as relatable. As long as it's not too whiny, like you're not like poor me, as long as you're making fun of the situation or you know, doing that, I think it's terrific.
Yeah, because the hypocrisy is if we have children, especially like Adelestas are teenagers, they're pretty much the same people. They look different, but they do pretty much the same thing. So that's why it's so relatable. We may call it something different, but it's the same thing. And they say they're terrible too, that say, no, honey, wait to get fifty.
I can imagine I'm just dealing with an eight year old life. So I have no idea. But you know, on top of that, I really I think there is this sort of framework, especially for you know, a woman on stage just identifying as a woman that the audio, there's this idea that the audience needs to see you as a sexually viable product. And so sometimes when you talk about parenting, they're going to be like, oh, I don't see it as much. So I'm also trying to be like no, and I'm not. I'm not also a
like wine in the sippy cup, it's wine o'clock. Like I enjoy a drink, don't get me wrong, but it's not really my that's not my tone. And so and I'm like, there's gotta be other people like me who want something just a little like a little smarter, a little different way into this conversation.
It is. It is great. That is great to relate. So I feel when I'm on stage, when I do my hour, I do this thing at the end of like forty fist fifty minutes, this call. If you're not scared to ask it, I'm not scared to And maybe you should consider because you're a great conversationist. While you're on stage, after you finish your set, have them turn the house flight stuff and let people ask you real questions about the breast you know, about the breastcancer, about
being a parent. But it is what it does. It really brings your audience to you. Then they feel like, oh my god, not only did I go see your fear, but now I'm a part of the show. It is so and I do that all the time because people have a million questions as opposed to be standing in lane taking pictures, and they want to ask all the questions. Then ask it now. When then I'll give you the opportunity because when I don't want to take your pictures, they got COVID.
I don't want to take That's wonderful. No, that's wonderful.
I know right now it's scary.
Oh my goodness, every other person.
I think you would be great at that of fear. I think that, and I think that you would really help because that's what we ask comedian, And I love what you said about when you're going through something, when your son is giving you a hard time, or you're having a bad day. When you go on stage, that is when your power kick in because not only is it our therapy that we can talk to somebody openly about it, but we get a chance to just own the room and it just makes all of that bag
go away because I'm like, I got an audience. They're sitting this, I'm sitting my fat ass on a chair and they miss into everything. I say, that's a great place to be.
Yeah. You know when someone you talk about something that you're going through, or someone else is going through something traumatic, but then they make a joke, it communicates that they're okay in some way, right, because you have enough of this sort of hindsight. You know, Comedy and stand up and humor has always been part of that showing that
we're okay. And I feel like when you go on stage and you start, you know, this is just classic when you start going through those hard things and finding the little twist in it that tells your audience that you're okay, and you know what they want to be okay. They are so desperate to be okay with whatever their goal.
That's why they're there.
And that is so true, Fear, and I love that you know that. You know. I talk about this and tell people as young comics, I say, you have to read the room that you're working. I am not a huge Trump saying as far as his politics, but I love his antiqus. So when I go on stage, I don't talk about his politics political views. I talk about his antics. That he liked the grab woman by the couchie. I'm like, please, introduce him to me. Oh, I want him to grab me by man, Please introduce me to him.
You know, just because if I'm working in a room full of trumpetkins and I have what I'm being on tour with day right now, his audience is probably sixty Trump supported. If I go on stage and attack Trump, they will hate me if I attack his political views. But if I attack his character that we all laugh at. I make it easy. And what you said about having
a funny impact. You can give out information to people and you can go deep into the dark hole, but if you come out of it with a funny they still hear it, but the impact is so much different. That's what shit will feel. That's great. I love that.
Yeah, well you're clearly the living.
Because the people forget it. We got to get him past these tens up here. When I get know you can get past lisonalities. You're good once you get past that.
Did awesome. Speaking about being a parent, Oh fear, I'm actually going to ask you flaining the same question. What would you say is the biggest I want to hear on the big kids side the little kid's side, having a little one and trying to do this type of job. What do you find are the biggest challenges I find.
I mean the hours are pretty intense because my child does not sleep in ha ha. So it's like you know, in every parenting book you'll read, especially when they're really little, will be like, you need time for yourself, just get up an hour before everybody in the family gets up. You're like, oh, so I should go to bed at two am when I get home from my sets, and then I should get up at what is that five So just three hours asleep for me? Of course, why not?
I need nothing? Ha. So the hours, the hours suck. But there's other things that you know, are great about it because we I have, I have a very flexible schedule. Also, we can we can do things and I you know, he he can come with me to shows probably in a few years, not exactly watch the Comedians. But I think that's an interesting insight into the world which I
never had. And you know, there's a lot of fact flexibility and travel and but yeah, I feel like that is the main thing is just the hours, the hours.
Yeah, system life. I so.
Other than my partner, my husband is I would pay for it. That would be the end of it. Everything everyone else. Yeah, my parents aren't around anymore, and my husband's parents are not in a situation to do any real childcare. And I moved away from my extended family. My husband didn't really have like we are. We are just like it's us or we pay for us.
So, yeah, that's right, listen, I understand that totally. But what you said about taking your kid to the comy club, I had a three year old, a three month old and a three and a half year old. I would take them to the comedy clubs and me and sit them in the green room. Yeah, while I went on stage because I had to get on stage, they would sit in the green room and you know, I had to change my clothes. What have you. My children have been a part of my my career, life, their whole lives.
So and I'm with you. I have no support system here. I moved from Chicago to Long Beach and I didn't know anybody and my mom. I was leaving with them. I was leaving with their grandmother on the mother's side. The mother was out the picture, so it was just us and I love you. Just had to make it work because when you're stand up comedian and it's in you.
There is an itch that has to be scratching. The only way to scratch it is on the stage with a microphone sometimes and more often than not, when that it hits you, it's like a cracky as you get well, I've never got a crassy not to it anyway. I've tried a lot of other things, but not of that. When it hits you, you got to get out there and you get to scratch that. It's because it makes you. You'll go insane if you don't. And that's the truth. You will go insane if you can't get an audience.
And the internet doesn't help. For me, are a rider from except on the same call. I need a room. It could be smoke field. I need, I need assids in a seat, and I need to feel the energy I do. I need to feel the energy.
Yeah, And you know the one thing that I think of. I have no hindsight on this yet, but another comedian, great comedian, Lorie Cilmartin, said to me that she was like, our kids get this unique perspective where they're going to see their parent who is in entertainment actually making a living from it, which I didn't have. I had no idea that you could make any like there was, I had no anyone to look up to and go like, oh,
that's a viable choice. But our kids, for better or worse, they're going to be like, oh, maybe I'll do that because you can make a career and support people off of that, and then we will tell the no, no, no, you pick something secure.
Yeah, And I love what you said about comedy being a white male dominated field, which is still really it really is a white male dominated field. The difference is I'm not a white male, but I am a black male female and I play no games. Maybe yeah, I'm a combination of everything. So yeah, you got to come with it all because I don't let you slack. But I do stand for when I am. I'm a very strong advocate for biological women and that is in all
aspects of my career and in life. And I do get a lot of backlad because of that, Opira, And how do you feel has it changed you've been doing comedy work almost has it changed as a female comedian from what you see now from what you saw back?
I just feel it has changed, and I feel like where we're at now, I think there is a lot of it that is better, but it's not across the board. I feel like it's just there's more sort of pockets. Like I think my best audience is as diverse in every manner as possible. That is like, I don't want to play to me. I don't want to play to parents. I don't want to play to white people or just moms. I want I want every I don't want to play to a specific ag rate. I want every age in there.
I want people from every economic situation like that to me, I love it when I always fight for tickets to be pretty inexpensive or have a sliding scale, because I'm like, people should be allowed to come to shows for five bucks. They should be allowed to be in that room if they don't have the money, how do we how do we get these people in the room because that is a good audience. And I perform in New York, I feel like it's pretty good. But there's still lineups that
I'm on where I'm the only woman. It's crazy, and I feel like nobody in some ways. You go there must be a lot of backlash that there's just not more diversity on the stage in every manner, and then you just go or does nobody care? And then I'll go to other rooms where the lineup, you know, everyone is just coming from a completely different perspective, and you know what, that's a good show. That is a good show. Yeah, so it's like better in side places women.
I really, I really don't care for comedy shows with no women. I pushed that all the time on Fear, because you have to have everybody's perspective. I want to hear. Of course, I want to hear the men talk about the woman and this in and that, but I want to hear the woman's version of it. I want to hear the opposite side of it because they which is which is what I do on stage because I am the man and sometimes the girl at the same time
on stage. But I like to have a woman on the show because a woman's perspective is value, is valuable, and I think it has changed for women because there's like it's what you said, though the pay I be the same, but the the what is the word I'm looking for about it? When you more representation is better? Yeah, you see so many women now. And thank you John Rivers for that. John Rivers was thank you Ruth Buzzy for that thank you what was her name? Who was
funny looking at Philip Diller. They were in the they were in the trenches when they were treated badly and and underpaid and overworked, or they had to sleep with somebody to get a position, and that it's not like that don't still happen. But they paid the way for so many women to Elaine Boozers and say, hey, where he to see us? Will be Goldberg. They were out there and they're still here. They made a way for
so many female comics to now dumb it. My only issue was some female comics is when the when the set isn't going well, they immediately go to therapy. Don't go to therapy because that shows fear. It does. Don't run to therapy. They'll go so they set the first two or three jokes, don't lay and they go to well, you know having a hard time. You know, I'm here going through a divorce. Don't go to therapy. The audience does not care about that. Stay on that set and
make them bad. What you're selling. It's gonna be rough sometimes, but make them by I make them bad. Yeah, I ain't going to therapy. My my favorite line is y'all didn't get that.
You know, supposedly, and I don't know if this is true, but Judy Garland, of all people, before she would go on stage, supposedly would hold on either side of the velvet curtain and to psych herself up before she opened up and dinner show, she would just go fuck them, fuck them, fuck them, and then hello. And I think about that very often. I'm like, that's the mentality I think that.
I think that builds such a strong resistance to you that I am here. Y'all pay come and see me. Y'all paid to come and laugh with me. So don't let me get in my head to block what I'm about to bring into the joy I'm about to bring into this audience. And a lot of comedians do that. They worry about what if they don't like me? I don't I love that. I don't hear a damn if I love me.
I mean, that's a huge, huge part of it. I feel like I'm still learning that because I was raised and whatever just so approval based people pleaser, Oh is this good enough? How about this? Maybe if I did it this way, you would like me. Maybe if I was this way, you would like me, and so that's a constant hurdle for me to jump over, which is kind of like interesting because I still do that in real life even though I combat it. But on stage, I you know, I live for authority, for being like
I'm in control. I tell you when to breathe, I tell you when to clap. Let's do this, and you know that's that's where I like, that's my that's the ideal.
I had the backup of fear. When you say that, I'm like, maybe she has a penis, because that is the attitude that I need some of these female comedians to have when they go off stage because sometimes they feel weaker thand it next to to me and absolutely not, you are doing the exact same.
Yeah. Plus there's people in that audience that want to hear you don't take that away from them. They're actually they're like why why why would you already tell them that they don't that they made a mistake there there's there's always gonna be I'm a we all are I think as stand ups like experts in finding someone in the audience, we can see maybe before the lighting provides us only a couple of rows who is not having
a good time, and you don't know. You don't know if they had a terrible day, if they're if their idea of laughing is just a big, thin smile, like I don't know. But you make that person all of your fears and all of your self hate and all of your failure and rejection. You put it all on that person instead of looking at all the other people that might be having a good time. And that's another exercise you got to work yourself through.
Yeah, you say you've been here twenty years old. Here are you a United States citizens?
I just became one a couple of years ago.
April twenty one.
Right, How difficult was that?
Okay, so I have almost failed every test I've ever taken in my entire life.
I want to get in. If I had to take a test to get it, and I want to get in.
So it was I studied so hard, and you have to study from one hundred questions and then they asked you ten in the room. And let me tell you, the questions I got asked were very simple. It was like, who you know who serves for the president, if the president cannot serve, what is the name of the ocean on the west side of the country. I mean, they weren't very tricky, but I was in the waiting room I remember, with a bunch of other people that were there to take the test, and I was like, why
does no one but me have flash carts? Like everybody else just seems so calm, And I was going through my handmade flash cards and I was so nervous.
I would too.
Yeah, I always wondered what until become what kind of test they gave you to become an American cities. I'm like, well, what would you ask me? Who is the president?
What year?
I would have say, Roosevelt in nineteen forty seven.
I like the question that that she just said, like if the president's out, who would be in? I don't think half of the people today realized the peril that we're in without a speaker.
They don't get that they're next next in line, even if the party is different. So I think I love that. I think I think we'd all.
Should have to have some sort of test like that, whether it's to graduate high school, whether it's people just don't understand politics now, not that I don't have great understanding for the for the intricacies, but for the basics, to just know the basics and how your government works, because it's really tricky. I don't know how it is in Canada. Is there a huge difference between the way the politics in Canada are or the.
Yeah, a little bit. I mean because this is the parliamentary system, so it's more based on there's many parties and based on majorities. But you know, the Speaker of the House, as it were, the Speaker of Parliament in Canada was recently ousted. Yeah, so I mean there is. There's the same amount I would say of.
His name would be McCarthy to his brother, his brother.
Uh so there's like you know, and and here I would say, there is, and it's more in America now, but there is such a focus in a good way, I hope, continually good way on Indigenous rights and recognizing, uh the peril that the Indigenous people have had to have been subjected to since you know settlers came here right around this time of year.
Yeah.
Yeah, we just changed our Columbus Day in Massachusetts anyway, to which is where I'm from, to Indigenous Day.
So they got a day, they.
Got they got a day. Yeah, So I mean there is.
I'm seriously consider moving to Canada if I it don't change, I just don't want to deal with the cold weather. Good guy gets cold.
It is cult. By the way, I'm in Canada right now, and I looked out the window this morning and I was like, how did I used to live like this?
It's so pretty though, It's so pretty up there.
Everything is so lush and gorgeous, and yeah, that's how you did it, and you didn't know any better. Like when we're kids, we don't know. And then as your your bones get a little older, you're going, Oh, when you get out of bed, I make a noise. My dog doesn't even raise his head unless I make the noise. When I make the noise because oh we're up.
Oh that's the sound of breakfast. Breakfast. As soon.
As a comedian, we all have goals and we all have things that we're pushing for. Who would be your ideal team to be on a tour week?
Oh wow, that's a great question, you know, I again, just because I was just watching I was reading her book and watching her special and I have been on tour with her and it was really fun. But she's just so different than me. Do you know, Maria Bamford.
Yeah, yeah, I know the name. I don't know if from a serial.
Very very different, yes, storytelling she does some characters just wildly different. I just think, like so unique. I have never had the chance to meet Wanda Sykes, but I have been obsessed with her for years and years. That would be incredible.
Yeah, Wanda's a great punch up of joker too. She's a great writer. She's a better to me, she's a better writer than she is a comedian, honestly. But because she punched up one of my jokes on they ready and it was just instantaneous. And I love to be in a room with other comics and they watched us said and they actually listen to you without judging, and then they say, hey, can I tell you this how to punch that joker? Because a lot of comedians get,
you know, get get upset about that. If you can hear it and you can make it funnier, give it to me, because I'm going to do it immediately. I love that.
You know. What I've even found every once in a while flame is that a stand up will pay me a compliment. They'll be like, oh, I really like your joke where you say blah blah blah blah, and they'll say it in different wording than the way I said it, and I'll be like, Oh, that's the better word. You just said in the way that I should be saying.
Yeah, And to me, that speaks volumes of to who you are, your character as a comedian, because if you shut down and you're not willing to learn because you think you've already arrived, you'll never get to the destination that you should get to because you already there in your mind. I'm already the greatest. So if I'm already the greatest, there's no room for improvement. There's always rooms.
Oh I have so much yet to do, so much. The list is long.
Yeah, you know.
One.
That's one of my regrets that I never had a chance to meet and work with John Rivers. I think that Joan Rivers and I would have gotten along famously and we would have been cut up like you wouldn't believe it. No, true, you couldn't have been on the thirty five to be in a room with us, because our language would have been quite colorful, like a custom great you.
Know, I feel the same way, and I was close. I was pretty close to interviewing her a bunch of years ago now, and it didn't ever quite happen. And I'm always like, it was so so close and it didn't happen, and yeah, it just makes me very sad. And I will say that, you know, my parents much older as I am the youngster six, but they were just also older because my mom had me older. And when I told my mom, you know, when I was I don't know, I guess twenty two that I wanted
to try to do stand up comedy. I hadn't really done it yet. She her only touch point was seeing Joan Rivers in Las Vegas, and she was like, like Joan Rivers in a bar, That's what she said to me. And I was like, yeah, that's the goal.
So you said you had a baby, Go ahead, Bobby, I'm sorry.
No, no, I said she must have had she must have had the vapors. It was always going to go.
I flame, I feel you had your baby. Your mom had you order too. Now you had your baby at forty five, forty two?
Yeah, my mom was forty two and I was forty two. Oh so yeah, oh so you stayed right there, I know, I mean everything, Yeah, who knew that's like sometimes it's like weird coincidence like that where you're like, who knew that would be the case?
Or now now, now, now I'm going to really get it. I want to get into the met to something. No case because you you were diagnosed with breast cancer at forty, right, did that make because I remember you said that you didn't have any two of you weren't any cars. But did that make you really want to have a baby once you realize that.
You Okay, So my initial response to this would be no. But I thought about this a lot, and I've really, you know, taken apart my emotions on it, and I have some hindsight, and I do think the answer to that flame is yes, because I think there was something in me and I've always felt this way. I've always My husband brings it up all the time he goes. I remember you always said to me, let's try to do every aspect of life that's positive and interesting that we can, like, let's just try to do it all.
Anything that's of interest and propelling us to a fun, new, interesting experience. Let's try to do it. And I think at in my recovery, I thought I don't want to miss out on this experience in my life. If I can do it, great, If I can't do it, you know, I was like, I'll figure out if I want to go down any further avenues, but to begin with, we'll
just try. And it was a little bit of a long road because honestly, I did get pregnant and I miscarried much like I don't know, I'm going to say something statistic, not based in facts, ninety nine percent of women even irregardless of your age and had I had a stream miscarriage in the sense that it was pretty rare, not dangerous, but it was called a partial molar pregnancy, so there were cells in me that could turn into cancer.
So then I had to give blood to make sure that there wasn't a cancer, a new cancer, hooray, growing in me for every week for six months. And at that point I thought, I'm never doing any of this again, any of this. I never want to see a doctor. It was so dark and I thought I can't do it. And then, as a good storyteller, I thought, what would be the happiest ending to this story? If I could write this story? However, I wanted what would be the
happiest ending to this story. And I thought the happiest ending to my story in this moment would be for me to bring a child into my life and have a loving family, and so I was just dead set on trying to make that happen.
I love that, and I love that you have a healthy, happy Listen, you're not by yourself. I had a baby at forty one half so different. I didn't carry it.
Lucky, but.
Oh, that is like really pushing it on for a woman to have a baby at that age, isn't it.
It's amazing, you know, I think the I had. You know, obviously they have these lovely terms geriatric pregnancy. I always enjoyed that. But you you know where every time they're like do you want to do any testing, they just pull out these binders. Everybody else gets a pamphlet, you
get a binder. And I do remember though, seeing a genetic counselor to just go through whatever possibilities of testing, and she said something really compelling to me, which is that the data that they use, you know, because so much in our world has changed, that the data that they use is still basically twenty years old. Because they have to go through this data, and it was taken at a time where they didn't know a lot about
the humans that they were getting data from. They didn't know anything about their lifestyle, anything about you know, were they smokers, were the driggers, did they whatever? So the data is not great. So she was like, we put all this stuff on people of a certain age or a certain background. She goes, it's based on not great data. She goes, you are providing genetic data that is going to help women in the future.
Heads off to you because we're going through with it and not finding a dire place. Then you got a baby that you're so happy with. And I love what you said that you told your husband that you guys are going to do everything positive because the world is so hard right now on negative negativity, wins and sales like you wouldn't believe right now, if this negative almost the best thing. If it's somebody a kid eighth grater who got accepted to a medical college.
Nobody, that is terrible to me. It's horrible to cancel culture that we're in. I know, can we It seems I am so glad that we weren't brought up in social media. The three of us were lucky that that didn't exist.
Can we go back to sex cells? Can we just go back to that? Forget hatred? Like who knew I would say this.
Go back to.
I'm about to start my own fans. Stay, I'm gonna tell jokes, well naked, I'm gonna tell jokes who are naked? Any writ look naked? Any writ Let me see how much money I make.
Oh that's brilliant. That is true. Stand up. Everything's standing up on this special everything you're standing up.
That's what we're gonna call it a stand up show. Oh my god, keeping keeping it standing up for longer than twenty minutes might be the hard part, but I'm just saying, see all of that is, man, the hard part standing here, Oh my god. Okay, next time. Oh for you you, Oh my god. I think you're so delightful and I'm sorry that I haven't had a chance to get to know you know you, but I'm looking forward to working with you somewhere. And I'm on tour
right now with day. If we come anywhere close to New York, I am going to reach out to you to make sure that you are Oh my.
Goodness, please definitely are you? Are you coming to New York. Not yet. You don't have a date yet. I know you will.
Where they keep adding, they keep adding, they keep adding dates to the tour. So if we come close to New York and I'm on, yeah, so I'll definitely make sure I invite you. But I did New York. I did Carolines. I was just they were day for when he take the four days towards birthday and we did the Seller. Now have you ever done this? Yeah?
I do the Cellar. I'm part of that little world.
So like that was my first time going to the cell I ripped it too. How did you liked it? The cell had never seen nothing like me. The seller had never seen anohing. I picked the Seller from the Cellar to the basement. Good god, I know.
It's such a that's a fun stage. I mean they have four stages, but they there's a real good energy there and that is it's always high quality. I love performing there because it does make you better because you are going up with all the greats all the time, and that.
Is a very pertinent place to be because if I'm working with and I don't want to call anybody a substandard comic, well just not a very known comic or kind of newish, you only have to be better than them. But when you work with monsters, you have to catapult yourself to be on the level of those monsters or you will be completely inadequate. So I love the challenge of that. I love the challenge of.
That, and also it makes you know, I think sometimes we you know, especially if you're headlining along that's all your people in the crowd, is that you can kind of like walk down the garden path for the first couple of minutes while you're sort of like it's a little survey and an appetizer and an amuse boosh. But when you're on those showcase sets and you just followed someone that's slayed, you got to get up there and like throw it out there in the first thirty seconds.
There is no time for a little garden party.
Yeah, And that's a great challenging point. And I know a lot of comics, big name Day Chappelle, like my Da Chapelle, Cab Williams, so many, Kevin Hard so many, hell Chelsea Handler, they won't where they will put really really funny comments on their line. But there are some comedians out here that the openers cannot be that funny. They have to be only okay or mediocre to make them look like the super giants. To me, I think that's no challenge, there is no there's nothing fun. I
need the meat. You be my meat, so I can be the pot for the meat. But they don't look that's all.
Ego, that's all yeah. You know, like as a as an audience member, don't you want your audience member to go? That show was amazing from the second it started to the second it ended, rather than like twenty minutes in, it got better.
Yeah, yeah, I love that. I love when I say that, my dad, I fear. I think we are. I told you the same person. I'm just I'm just without.
Hang.
I love and I'll say that all the time. I'll say that all the time because if it's a fear As show and all the comments were good and fear was maybe one, it was one of fear is all nice. She was just okay, but they paid to come feel fear. It's still a Fearers show, right, A fear As show is great. Now the other comments that might have been better at night, but it's still fears show. A lot of people miss that yep.
Appetizer, main course, dessert, it all should be the best, the best. That's what I want.
It's the true, especially with as you had said earlier, the prices of tickets, especially for the big ones.
The tickets are outrageously expensive.
So I want I'm going to be the first person in my seat. I want to see all of the people that open, and I want all of them to be good. Yeah, I want the most bang from that. Absolutely, I agree with the.
Both of you. So Fear, I want to ask you two other questions. I want to know about Canada's healthcare system as opposed to America's hair because you were diagnosed to you right.
Yeah in America. Yep, that's right. So yeah, I mean you know I oh, well, yeah, it's hard, I will say.
So.
I remember the moment I went to see a doctor just for nothing, a cold, when I first moved to America, and I walked in and I checked in with for my appointment, and then they handed me a clipboard and the woman asked me about payment, and I think I literally said to her, that is so rude that you were asking me about money before I've even seen a doctor to talk about my care, not understanding that's the way it works, like the idea of someone. It just was so foreign and bizarre to me and cold. I
was just like, what are you talking about? And that's the whole America treats it like you're a customer, not a patient.
Right because you are a kettle call.
You are a customer. And so you know, there's a lot of things about the Canadian healthcare system that are problematic and broken, just like any healthcare system. But I will say this. I you know, this is going to be a very meaty two line sentence or too long paragraph, but I survived a very bad car accident when I was a child and almost died, and that for most American families would have bankrupted their family for the rest of their life. And it did not cost my family a dollar.
Wow, America, are you listening?
So like it was not Bernie.
Yeah, it was not an issue of like how are we going to pay to keep our daughter alive? It was just never an issue. And I'm here, guess what made it okay? It's not like they were putting me together with.
Let me tell you something in this, in this in this hour that we have done. You had a baby at an early age. This kid stages girl. That's gonna be the name of your one hour special to everything that is. That is testimony alone.
Yeah, So why should I be wried about if you don't like my joke?
The case you live in America, you have no other choice. Good.
Yeah, healthcare is super complicated. It's yeah.
It's so you've got the single payer or the the government system up there and we just can't get it done. I mean Obamacare was that was huge. The fact that we even slid that of here. Yes, and it's still payment for it.
Yeah.
Now I will just be totally transparent that. What the Canadians complain about is that there can be long waits for certain tests because you are basically ranked on the severity of your case and that these and that the testing. So you you know, if you feel you can now just pay for it. If you want it faster, you can pay for it. You can decide to make that choice, or you can be a squeaky wheel and get yourself pushed forward. I always say that it's like this because
America is based on an insurance model and capitalism. America needs the American healthcare system needs you to be sick then in the health system needs you to be healthy, and that's how things are run. Like I can go.
Into a doctor in America's.
And be like, I have a scratch in my elbow and they'll be like, do you want an MRI?
Right, Well, that's because we demand it too as Americans, you know, Like that's theff. If you tell my mother she had to do physical therapy for two weeks for the pain in her back before she gets the MRI, she'd lose their bananas.
No I insurance and I want you know.
So it's it's a super complicated, very complicated stated system, especially with our pharmaceuticals and the insurance companies. Those are the people really make it op. Oh yeah, so yeah, the system is flawed. You know, eighteen percent of our gdp is is healthcare.
It's a flawed system.
Yeah.
So I don't work health care. That's what she's That's why fascinating.
Yeah. I mean, I could talk about this for hours, and I've even I talked I I know some I know some excellent people that work in the American health system as doctors and surge, and I have at times asked them different questions and they have told me that on certain boards of hospitals. They've been asked why they're not you know, hey, we gotta we really have to pay for these new crazy you know equipment we have. Why aren't you telling people to get more of this?
Why aren't you know mistectomies costs a lot more money than lumpectomies. You should be recommending mistectomies more often.
That sounds like a not for profit facilities versus not right profit facility.
Correct.
Yeah, it's a business. It's a bit.
I mean, it really has become a business. So as you started the show by saying, you really had to advocate for yourself, so you do as a consumer. You need to go in, ask what you want and keep pushing until you get what you need, especially because your bodies tell.
Us stuff we know first.
Yeah, but it's a super complicated system here.
Very complicated. I mean everywhere I think you have to always advocate.
For you and I like and I like my boods exactly what am I going to do? Second question is what is your what is your goal and desire for you as a comedian? What do you what do you want to do that's hues that will make you feel like I mad, it's that one gig that you'll be liked. I am that comeding.
Well, I will say upcoming. So I'm going to say two things. One is upcoming my my pal and comic Anthony Jesselnick. You may know that guy. Uh, he is out touring and he asked me to come join him on his show in a couple of weeks at Carnegie Hall. So I guess I will check mark that coming up.
I can't wait. But you know, with the storytelling, practice, practice, practice practice, with the storytelling stuff that I love doing and the stand up I have, I have a whole show that I've been working on that's more of a solo show, one person show kind of feeling about you know, we're just talking about I always survived so many things. I have scars all over my body and just how they have shaped my identity and how I've accepted them and
not accepted them, and the stories behind them. Some our poignant, some are very funny, especially when I was sleeping around and deciding if I should explain some of the scars to people or if they cared, uh, and I you know, I want to and just you know, how much of your flesh is your identity, and I would I want to I want that on Broadway, my friends, I want it on Broadway.
I was going to ask you, did you want that Broadway or do you want that Netflix? I was just about to ask you that.
Well, listen, claim if I have to go Netflix, I will, Okay, if I.
Have to, Well, let me tell you something. If you gotta go Netflix, Netflix pay, it's instant gratification. Let me let you know that.
That's a good point.
Yes, it's instant gratification with Netflix. With Broadway, you still get paid, but it's you know, every night definitely is a one hit or quiver.
You know what. I'm revising my goal.
I think I think it's going to be great. I think it's gonna be great. No, you can do both now. But if you get the Netflix first, you reached one hundred and ninety countries and then those people were flying to see you on braw.
Can you be my business man, Jerry like the creative consultant.
Please as long as you suld be mad because I seemed to be bad in the thousands. So this was such a delightful conversation. Thank you so so much for doing this with us. I am so pleased with the conversation and it was so informative and lights it was. But but somebody is going to walk away from this that's going to learn something more about themselves because of you, and I appreciate that. I really appreciate it.
Thank you, Flame, Thank you Bobby. That's so nice. It was an honor. I was thrilled. Thank you.
And I will definitely get over to your podcast. Now where can we find you? Wes naming your podcast? Give us all of the yes.
So my podcast on I heard is called parenting is a joke. Obviously you can get it where you ever. You get podcasts where I talk to different people who are stand ups and working in entertainment about how they do creative work and raise children. So we will be talking about getting you on that immediately. Flame. Also, you can follow me everywhere at O Fira E and or on Venmo at Ophira if you feel like I don't know following me in Venmo.
Listen, when is that Currentagie holiday coming.
That is on November tenth?
Oh it's soon.
Yeah, And they can get their tickets where.
It turns out Carnegie Hall. This is how the ticketing practice works. But they they posted their tickets for sale two weeks in advance. So I guess early November, right at the end Halloween.
Halloween hop online, that's Halloween. I was born on Halloween. No, Marcus Parker, who is me, was born in July. I supposed to do. I was supposed to be flavoring Road one time for Halloween. I ain't gonna tell y'all what year, but here we are, almost forty years later. Good God, Titti, Jesus, Oh my God, I feel you in such a delight. Thank you so much. I love when we have light, pleasant conversations that are informative and stay in the game. I want to see your name in the big lights.
I'm coming to your one woman show on Broadway because guess what, I'm a survivor too. I survive. Look, I survived Chicago.
That was the Yeah, yeah I will. I look forward to seeing you on stage wherever I can. Maybe we'll see each other at the Cellar one.
Of these days, Yes, and whenever all come close to New York City. If I'm a dable with Timney on my own, I'm gonna reach out to you at the show, and if I can get you on the show, guess what go out there and give us fifteen let's do it. I love it. I love the parents' story because there's so many parents that are having a hard time with their children. So I love it.
Yes, it's tell me and I'll take the training.
Yes, you're close.
We don't fly you on private jet, but god, oh, fire Eisenberg. Thank you so much. Lady. Gentlemen, please give around the class for our very wonderful professional guests. Sofire Eisenbergh and follow her on her podcast right Heart or anything that she's doing. Because this lady, this lady gonna teach you something. See, that's what comedy is a lot of y'all miss it. Not only is comedy funny stories, but comedy is meant to teach you something about you
that you're afraid to say publicly. But then you you're thinking it. So you learned something about yourself. That is great ship right there, I see it. I see the bad word. I always say the bad words. That's all right.
We love you for I.
Know right, Thank you. We appreciate you. Ladies. You're hearing laugh and learn what is our message? Bobby. We're not trying to get you to in your mind. We are only trying to get you to use your mind, because why Bobby.
Because a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
And some of y'all are wasting y'all minds and my time and I'm not here for We appreciate you. Follow Bobby Clifford at Bobby Clifford on Instagram and where at Clifford Bobby on Instagram, at Bobby Clifford on Facebook. Follow me on the all social media platforms at flame my row, and follow my girl, miss Ophil Eisenberg on all her social media platforms. Hear me and hear me. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we are in a crisis. The world is in a crisis with wars and sad stories and rules.
Find some joy in your life that will keep you sane through all of this crazy. You have to find whatever makes you happy. I don't know what it could be. Everybody has different goals, different possibilities of making what makes them happy.
I'm me.
I'm happy with a black and white and a cheese burger. I'm telling you, whatever makes you happy in your life, you have to find that joy or you will go crazy in a crazy world. Yeah, it's ten minutes out to day to find that joy, find that joy for them ten minutes, because the rest of the day might be screwed up. But if I found my joy for ten minutes, guess what I got ten minutes of joy that day. Let me see if I get fifteen tomorrow. Because the gold is to get to the next day,
to get happier and happier and happier. The news and the world will make you sad. I ain't gonna say a bitch. I'm the happiest fag you ever seen in your life. I said, I said, I feel it.
Don't miss an episode of Laugh and Learn. Listen and subscribe on the Black Effect Podcast Network, Alright Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Laugh and Learn Podcast is a production of the Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. Our ejective producer is Tiffany Hattish. Our theme music is by the one and only Chrissy Payne. Thank you, guys, this is slamming row. Don't forget to laugh. Listen and learn