Hour 2 | Dating Profiles & New Laws

K M.

I am six.

You're listening to Later with Mo Kelly on demand on the iHeartRadio app.

Times Foosh just plays music.

I just sing and then he says, oh, hey, dope, we're on the air, and I think I should have been paid for that.

Then yep, I'm trying to make it like Club maryl up in here.

Oh I like that. Yeah, Club Meryl? Yeah, club Oh very good.

Ron. Are you in club Merril? Of course? How can I be? She drinks?

We close early, gotta get to bed, club Merril close.

You don't want to bring a black light into Club Meryl. Oh god god, why would you ever do that?

Yeah, Foosh, you're just hanging me out to dry with these Thank you took me a minute.

I was running Club Meryl. Gotta get in on. It's okay, we'll regroup.

Yeah, it's going swimmingly so far from Yeah, it's a holiday. No. How about twenty twenty five is just like twenty twenty four. It's it's trying to take us all. It's it's already starting out about as stressful as possible, with at least one probable terror attack, maybe two to start. We were just a few hours in when the first terror attack of the year hits in No La. The latest fifteen people dead in that attack, dozens more injured. Somebody drove a car through a crowd of people in New Orleans

Bet he can do any travel, but are going to take in the sites, the sounds, anything of that sort.

My New Year's resolution was I'm gonna I'm gonna be better on the clock. I'm gonna go to the commercial breaks when I'm supposed to instead of Foosh having to tell me. He's only going to tell me one time so far, tonight break, idiot, go to the commercials idiot, which I appreciate him doing.

Ron or anything anything as far as travel, not really anything at all. I'll tell you what, I want to go to Fasquez Rocks and reenact the scene from Star Trek where Kirk throws the rock at the gorn.

That's what I want to do. That's a deep cut. Yeah you like that. That's very good, very good. It's concrete, it's specific. I even ask you.

No, no, it's just for real. I'm not making this up. No, I know you're not. But that's a what a what a weird.

Let's go to Imperial County and let's comb the sand like they did in Star Wars.

I'm immune to your mockery. This is gonna be cool. How about you, Chris. I'm gonna make some maple syrup this year. I'm gonna tap a tree. I'm gonna make syrup. What do you think about that noise? Yeah, done this in the past. Uh, that is it gonna be? Like? Uh? Are you gonna brand it it? Uh like Meryl can'f I syrup?

Uh? Yeah, I mean if they pay me. Yeah, oh okay, you five absolutely more tapping it in twenty twenty five.

Hey, now, very good. Now it's working. We've got a well oiled machine. He got the drum kit out.

That's nice. Yeah, he had put it away for a while. Carl Christison like that. It's not gonna need that.

Meryl. We just oh, tapping it. Very good, very timely, my friend, very timely, all over it. Guys are killing me. All right? How about bucket list? Twenty twenty five.

Freshman philosopher Professor signed this exercise and called it a bucket list.

We're supposed to make a list of all the things we wanted to do in our lives before we can kick the bucket cute scene. It's pointless. Now, we can do this, We should do this, we should do this all right.

Ever since the bucket list came out, we all know what bucket list means. It's just but all bucket list is almost taken on a new term. It's not things that we feel like we need to do before we die. Now, it's just stuff you should try this year.

Yeah, it's it's definitely taking a turn.

It's no longer a bucket list now it's a to do list or a give it a shot list. And so that's what the La Times put together. They're California bucket list, okay, for each month of the year. So I guess if a bucket list has things to do before you die, if you plan on dying in January, you should go witness the magistic elephant sealed breeding season at Onyon Nuevo State Park, which is isn't on your.

Nuevo isn't that New Year State Park. I don't speak Spanish. They want you to go and watch elephant seals get it on. Yeah, I don't want to do that.

Mark you already said more tapping it in twenty twenty five.

I don't want to watch wild animals tap it with each other. But you're tapping it, tap of it? Whose sider you want?

That's right, just tap it you you said you want to just give it a little little tappy.

Tattle tap tap tap Taparu.

Well, if we have to rewind the tape, I want Chris Merrill to tap it more in twenty twenty five.

Wow, all right, I'll go watch the h I'll go watch the animals do it.

I got a problem that. Uh.

If you plan on dying in February, according to the La Times, you should celebrate the lunar New Year in San Francisco and Chinatown.

So you got that.

Uh. If you plan on kicking it before taxes are due, you could do it in March. You could admire the breathtaking wildflower blooms of the ends of Barrego Desert State Park. While you're there, you could comb the desert just like they did in Star Wars. Uh In April, attend the world renown Coachella Valley Music an arts festival in India.

Oh that's a good thing. Coachella. Have you been to Coachella? Have you done it? I don't mean like have you been to the valley? I mean have you been to the festival?

When while I was in college i went to. I was in Riverside, so I was like twenty minutes away from it.

Yeah.

But I don't know, man, it just seems so over hyped because I talked to people like ten years before it was like a thing, and they said it was like the greatest thing ever. But this was like when you paid twenty bucks to get in. Oh yeah, now it's like now a ton basically put in a car down payment for a car.

Yeah, no kidding. Oh, but you get a three day pass. We're just seven hundred dollars.

It's a little hyben was it was Coachella the one last year where they had all the mud and people were stuck and they couldn't get cars out, and they couldn't people were walking miles and miles and miles just to get out of the was that I think I think that was Burning Man. Oh, it's burning all same area. They're both like, they're both super hippie music press. So yeah, well I think Burning Man is still hippie. But now Coachella is like the cool place to be, but especially

Oh yeah, all.

Right, but I can still spend a buttload of money there, right, that's the whole thing with absolutely Okay, that's the I'm supposed to spend a buttload of money, Yes, all right. La Times California bucket list, which we can only assume, means if you plan on dying, you should do this, because that's what bucket lists are. If you plan on dying in May, you should go to the on Spining Waterfalls at yo Semite at their peak flow, that is,

Is this from the the Hippie Desk.

I think this may be another byproduct of their owner, Patrick Soon shan Oh.

Is that what it is? Yes?

I didn't get a bias rating on this because this feels very lefty to me?

Does it? Yes?

This is going way if although Coachella, like you said, is no longer, it's a music fest, but it's super commercialized, so I don't know, maybe not, Maybe this is all part of bringing balance. You go to the super commercial music festival and then you go to the the the Ohi Music Festival. If you're gonna die in July, you should go to the fireworks first.

Over Lake Tahoe, Okay.

August, savor the delectable offerings at the Gilroy Garlic Festival, a haven for garlic enthusiasts.

Unless you're a vampire. You don't want to go to that if if you're.

The undead, If September is the month you're deciding that you're gonna kick it, immerse yourself in the rich cultural heritage at the Los Angeles Olvera Street during the Mexican Independence Day festivities for October participate in the half Moon Bay Art and Pumpkin Festival celebrating the harvest season. And of November, you can observe the grace Full Monarch butterfly migration at Natural Bridges State Park and Santa Cruise. Aren't

It's hard to keep track because it seems like everything's head in that direction your regiment.

Yeah, you're right.

And then in December, as always, if you haven't been to Bubblebo Park in San Diego for their December nights, that's pretty cool. So La Times recommends you go to do that. So those But that's your twenty twenty five. I give you twelve things to do. Here's what here's what I recommend for your your new Year's resolution, be healthier, experience some some things around you. Pick four of the twelve and just do four. That's one every third of

I don't have any idea. Thank god, I don't have to date. Thank God I'm not dating.

Thank God I don't have to do the apps.

Are you on the apps. Yeah you are. Yeah, oh buddy, I'm so sorry.

It's I've been talking with producer Matt like he's yeah, he's kind of giving me a breast to what's going on, because it's just like everyone, everyone just seems like they have all of their s figured out. And I'm like, I don't know what I'm gonna do tomorrow, and everyone's like, oh, I'm gonna you know this, And I like hiking and I like.

Working out, and oh those are the worst people.

And I know, and I'm like, I told Matt, I'm like, can anyone just be like, hey, I like to watch reruns under the blankets and just be at home.

Can you imagine Mark Ronner's hinge profile?

Just leave your money on the dresser like a decent human being. But no, this is gonna be good material for twenty twenty five. Foosh your your experiments in the single dating app? Yeah, I'm looking forward to this. I've never done it and it sounds absolutely horrifying, so bad.

You know what it you know what it is.

I was I was again to you know, I keep bringing Mad up, but he's madeen my guy. But it's like, I I'm not scared to get out there. But it's like everyone just seems like they're so perfect, and I'm like, dude, can you just like have Cheetos and McDonald's and watch The Office reruns at home?

Right? No one says that.

Everyone's like I like to hike, I run, I do this, I explore.

Nuth Like, dude, just can can you take a break? Can we write your your profile? Like? Do you like cargo shorts? Yes? I want to see your profile picture. We can keep all of your stuff in my shorts. Let's go.

Need extra popcorn while we sit down and watch reruns of the Office.

Right here on the left fire You're gonna score so much this year. Foods bud Okay, I got you? That was that was okay, that was incredible? I got you?

God good, that's literally weird courage sure now, oh man?

Okay? Twenty twenty five the strong start apps.

There's the other social apps will tell you where people are migrating.

That is next.

You're listening to Later with Moe Kelly on Demand from KFI A M six forty.

Hey, shout out to Matt. He did a great job today, by the way, Oh dude, he kills it.

He did a great job on today's program, Pleasure being with you.

Thank you so much.

As we are working on Foush's dating profile, this is gonna be great. I did read something that says your your dating profile is supposed to I don't know what your photo is, Foush, so it's supposed to be you doing something you enjoy.

So yeah, I well, the first one is a selfie. The second one is it a selfie of you doing something you're also? No.

The first one's just like I just I just got my haircut, and it's my one of my favorite pictures of myself because I don't like myself, so that's like my favorite picture of my hair. I just got it done. It was cool. And then the second one is me in a suit at my best friend's wedding. Okay, so not still not doing anything, but you know, looking cool.

We got Now, we gotta get you some doing stuff. I think so too. You ought to be able to parlay you your job into something.

I got a buddy that's some radio and he's on the apps too, and I said, why aren't you He hosts a show, and I go, why aren't you telling everybody that you're a rock star somebody's because no, I don't want to do that. I listen, that's all's fair in love and war. You've got to lean into it.

That's exactly what producer Matt just said. He's like, He's like, dude, you should like boast about the fact that you're at iHeart.

I'm like, yeah, I know, but I don't want to be like that guy like, hey, have you heard of Tim Conway Junior? I know him. Yes, I should do that. Maybe pictures. Uh, next time Leto comes in, just go see if you can sit in his car and take a photo with him.

Oh my, oh yeah, if I know, if I gotta, if I got a picture with him, that would be Yeah, that would be the one to put on my profile.

Yes, there's a real panty dropper, isn't it. Come on?

I think the two of you are massively overestimating the appeal of the stable and lucrative career in radio.

Yeah.

Yeah, well I'm not gonna say, am, why don't you just post a photo of yourself on the toilet?

Foosh? Come on, doing something I love?

Yes, exactly, this is how I like to spend my leisure time. Very good, Bring an iPad in with you some some snacks.

Hey, speaking of apps, have you guys been on Twitter lately?

Yes?

Yes, it is turned into a real It is just like so, it's a war zone. I don't even like to go on there. It's a hive of disinformation and hate. Which did I miss something?

No, it's I mean, I'll be kind of doom scrolling a little bit, and and then I and I've I've found myself using the Instagram reels, which I hate doing because it's kind of like TikTok, which just drives me nuts. And I you know, I want to see something that has a little more depth than somebody doing a goofy dance or whatever. But so I'll go on to I'll go on to Twitter thinking I can just oh, I'll

I was saying, oh, yeah, because Trump did this. Yeah, oh my gosh, you can't even have fun on there anymore.

Well, it's been especially useful today when we have this massive casualty incident in New Orleans and the amount of disinformation and just fill on there is overwhelming. And thank you Elon for that. Appreciate the yeah, yeah, money well spent. I mean, I understand what he's saying about. We should have an open forum and people should say what they want.

But the trouble is is that you have an opportunity to raise your clout. In the past, if somebody said something that was ludicrous, we they would they wouldn't see the light of day, right, we would filter it out. If somebody had something to say, that person would start to sort of rise to the top. They might become

Television or something of that sort.

But now it's just everyone has the same voice unless they pay their whatever it is, eight dollars a month or whatever, and then their voice is amplified and it's distributed in the same manner as everyone who actually has depth of thought, which is why somebody. Some people are going to the other outlets, the Threads and the Blue Sky and the two texas from n gadget, the two text based platform sharing some of the same goals, none

Your voice down.

Blue Sky is more of a user based, user centric, decentralized I suppose a platform if you're unfamiliar. Blue Sky came out of the scene after Elon musk So bought Twitter, So Blue Sky is very decentralized, which also can lead to the whole free.

For all type scenario. Uh and.

What are they calling it? The it's a less less of a top down approach. The company employs some of its own moderators to enforce baseline moderation. Users have a lot of control over how much questionable or harmful content they want to see. Blue Sky also allows people to create their own moderation services for an even more custom experience. They say moderation is in many ways like governance. According to the CEO Ja Graber Grabbert Graber Grabber, g R A B E R and setting the norms of a

Important to the state of the world.

So basically it's like the free for all that Elon Musk says Twitter should be, although they allow you to tailor it so you don't have to see everybody's garbage constantly. Ultimately, doesn't this all come down to what algorithms are being employed? And that's the kicker. It's all about whatever the app is. I don't care if it's a dating app. I don't care if it's a social media app. I don't care if it's your news curation app. It's all about figuring

Cash hole on their end.

Anyway, Hopefully twenty twenty five turns in a less of assesspool online, but I I do not believe it will, which is why I have taken You know how I figured out how to manipulate the the algorithms a lot of puppy videos. Every time I see something. You know who does a good job on this one is uh Tim Conway Junior. You post a lot of you know, the puppies, the cats and goofy stuff like that. I

But it's so true because I'll see stuff like that, and my thing is cars, so I'll okay, yeah, certain models and makes, and once i start harding him commenting that, and I'm like, that's much better. That's careering about politics.

Far more interesting too, frankly, Yeah, especially if it's something you're you're actually invested in, you know.

I agree, I agree. How much are you investing in your cars? Oh? You mean your time? Yeah? Yeah, time, I don't know money guards.

Yet again, you gotta start hanging out with Jay and it's gonna change your whole life.

I'm telling you.

You're listening to Later with Moe Kelly on demand from KFI AM six forty.

The law makers, the law breakers in the times that there ought to.

Be a law.

I like that we're able to touch on the Slow jama Stan because Slow Jamastan is in the news. Are you familiar with Slow Jamastan. It's a micro nation in California. They declared their sovereignty I think like about a year ago, and according to a release from the Republic of Slow Jamastan, which is not officially recognized by the United States or any other nation of people's but it's actually just a small community.

Near Aktiel Wells in San Diego County.

According to the Republic of Slow Jamastan, they're offering a thought that was an ellar rewarded anyone who can help bring justice to a group of fathers and their children who apparently burglarized and vandalized the property. KTLA reporting on this, they put out the video as well. Video of the surveillance footage. Slow jama Stan released it, posted it to YouTube. Timestamp says it was December fourteenth, about an hour two men three children seen and heard moving about the property's

So somebody got on one of those cameras. I don't know, it's like a ring.

Oh, it's a real link, real link cameras, so similar to the ring cameras. Real Link is a different company, and so they said, hey, you're on camera, dopes, and when they when the camera started talking to them, they went oh oh. The group appeared to get nervous, except for one of the children who remarked, if I'm being recorded that I'm saying suck bro in another young voice saying we need to break in. Okay, we need to break in.

Okay, all right. So then they were trying to figure out what was going.

On, and so they stepped out a frame and then one of the guys said, hey, man, it's fake.

It's just fake.

So if you don't it is even it's probably motion detected. So if you don't move, it'll just shut off.

Okay, dopes.

So anyway, I guess these guys, I guess these guys got worried that they're gonna get caught, and they were like, hey, man, you're gonna You're freaking out my kids and all this other stuff. So then they started spray painting things. They started spray painting, uh, we declare war. And then they encourage people to visit surfing ruined mylife dot com. Surfing ruined my life dot com. Uh so if you search

I don't think anybody could have guessed.

In fact, I'm gonna go ahead and say you did not have this on your bingo card. That's the new cool phrase people keep saying on TikTok, not on your bingo card.

Here we go from ABC seven.

What started with a traffic stop ended with a CHP officer holding a baby spider monkey. The officer pulled over a Rolls Royce for speeding the Maderrek County north of Fresno. Inside the car, the officer found bags of marijuana and a monkey.

That's pretty great, believe to be just one month old.

The driver was booked on suspicion of dui possession of cannabis and for sale, and the illegal possession of an exotic animal. The monkey and innocent victim in all this has been turned over to animal control.

What's gonna happen to the spider monkey?

Does the baby spider monkey go to a spider monkey zoo or do they try to set it free? What do they do with the spider monkey? Does it go to one of those sheriff's auctions.

That'd be pretty cool. I get a license so I could have a pet spider monkey. Man, I'm down.

Also, when was the last time you heard the phrase spider monkey. Didn't they say that in a Will Ferrell movie. Wasn't that the like Talladega Knights or something where they mentioned spider monkeys. I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey. Otherwise, nobody talks about spider monkeys anymore, which is a real tragedy, probably the most underappreciated of the fun animals.

That are out there.

Sometimes you fight the law and then the law wins. Tell you what the law makers are doing with that as the law one.

Next, you're listening to Later with Moe Kelly on demand from KFI AM sixty.

Good News, The Long National Nightmary's Aubern mo Kelly returns tomorrow night.

Guys, ever, do any little home projects? Mark? You a handy guy?

You?

Uh, the kind of guy that just my I believe that I should change this outlet, not the least bit if somebody held a gun to my head. I couldn't do any of that. I don't do that, Huh, none of it. What do you do if you have if you've got something like, let's say that your sink is.

Leaking, what do you do? I call a sink leak specialist?

Oh? Okay, and I pay that person to fix the leak.

All right, that makes sense. Do you ever use a handyman or do you just call it? You call a plumber. If it's a sink, I'm calling a plumber.

If it's whoever yelp recommends, that's uh oh okay. I'm very good with the yelp, very handy with yelp.

That's good. Yes, that's good.

So I make the mistake of trying to do it myself first, and then once up about three hundred dollars in and it's worse, then I call somebody else.

A true story.

A friend of mine says, I got a small link leak in my sink and I said, oh, I can take care of that. And he says, yeah, it's coming from down below. And I said, that's easy. We can take care of that. We just have to replace this and that, And I knew what I was talking about. The problem is I got there and I started working on it, and when I got done, he had a big leak, and then he had to call somebody else

And we got done.

We put it all back together and he drove off and there was this big clacking sound you drive it down the runway, clack clack clack, and he said, man, he says, we worked too hard on this. I don't know what it is, but I'm going to take it to a mechanic six hundred dollars more. Later we found out we put we put a bushing on backwards.

Oops. Yeah.

So the point is is that I love to take on projects. I'm just bad at them, and which is why probably if you have any doubt at all, you should call somebody else first. Good news. In California. You can now hire a handyman without a contractor license for anything that's under one thousand dollars. It used to be only five hundred dollars. I didn't realize that handyman weren't allowed to do anything that was more than five hundred dollars. A thousand dollars seems low to me. You can cook

Did have to. There was ceiling cutting and a little bit of rewiring.

I don't think it's an exaggerations that say it probably would have been twelve to fifteen.

Hundred dollars to have somebody else come in and do it.

By the time you're into the parts, the labor, the painting, the taping, the texturing, everything else, you had.

To do about fifteen hundred dollars.

You can cruise through one thousand dollars with a handyman really really fast. If a handyman is doing a job that's worth more than one thousand dollars, if they provide a bid greater than one thousand dollars screed to the new law performing work requiring a permit, or employing any workers, that person is subject to legal action. Penalties for unlicensed contracting include administrative finds up to fifteen thousand dollars jail sentenceive up to six months, and fines who up to

That in no time. I love the idea of threatening handymen with prison, because if you have, if you have, the neighborhood app about fifty percent of the content. For first of all, one half of the content is complaints about homeless people. The other few, Okay, Yeah.

The other fifty percent is complaints about handyman who screw people over and who don't finish the job. Oh, do a terrible job. So yeah, throw them in the Gray Bar hotel. Yeah, throw them in. Yeah, just put them in it. Send them to the big house if they screw up.

But those are the people that are I mean, those are the shady contractors that need to be busted down anyway. If you're just a regular, you know, if you're a handyman in Fontana and you're just trying to scrape by doing what you do, well, you work with your hands.

Well, I'm telling you one thousand dollars jobs. There is a way around this.

I believe, and I genuinely believe what you do if you're a handyman you're trying to get around this law is that you break a project into multiple small projects. So let's suppose that I told you I replaced the lights in my kitchen.

I believe there were five or six lights.

There was a like a four inch can that was in there, and I was putting a six inch can in.

Okay, do you know what I'm talking about when I say it can? Is that clear enough? For I'm resisting every impulse. I have to make it into some some thing filthy. Yes, I understand what you're saying. Okay, just having to do one can a month.

All he has to do is say, yeah, uh uh, light fix your replacement, uh said, three hundred dollars, you know, and then light repliction, Light fix your replacement. Number two, three hundred dollars, number three, three hundred dollars.

You know what I mean.

It feels like there's an easy way around this thing by just simply filling out.

Multiple work orders. Yeah.

And I don't think it could be like banks where they monitor if you have a deposit that's too big or or a suspicious series of deposits. I don't think anybody is doing any kind of oversight on this, so you could you could probably skirt the rules on this if you, if you had a will to.

It would have to be because somebody is complaining about you, wouldn't it like this? This feels like an enhancement law, so that if somebody's complaining, uh, not just on next door, but on whatever else, if they actually file a complaint, then it feels like, Okay, you're a shady contractor and here's the law that you broke. We wrote this law

Especially if you a job areddit page about the job you did, then maybe you're in trouble. Yeah, that would be it. Yeah, yeah, all right.

Well that's one of the new laws going into effect here in the coming year, so look for that. I I just think it's one of those laws again that that is going to affect.

So few people.

It doesn't seem like I don't know, I just feel like that number should be closer to twenty or twenty five hundred. But I suppose that the way around it is so incredibly simple that the only way you're gonna get busted is if you if you really upset the homeowner.

There's no business like show business.

We'll tell you who's in trouble for their New Year's Eve celebrations.

On on the TV. That is next.

I'm Chris Merrill. In form O Kelly k IF. I am six forty We live everywhere the iHeartRadio app.

You've been listening so later with Mo Kelly.

You can always hear us live on k i AM six forty seven pm to ten pm every Monday through Friday, and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app