Side Stories: The Chatbot Made Me Do It

There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast. On the left. Side stories? Side stories. Yes.

Man, we had a whole thing. I don't know whether or not we should even start with this because it's so visual. What's wrong with you? But it's one of my favorite stories of the week. Okay. And it was just so fucking funny.

What is it? Let's just start with it. If it's your favorite thing, let's do it. This week, the guy that was shoplifting. I don't normally, I'll just put it this way. I am not a guy. I like my body cam footage. Y'all know this. And I'm not a guy. I don't like the shoplifting ones. They make me really sad. Oh, yeah.

like it's food and shit like that that makes me really sad if it's like from a marshall's that's sad yes you know because they're just trying to people just don't have money they're desperate they're for food but if this guy he was shoplifting out of a luxury mall like he was doing one of those things where you

Shopping some fan thing. And then the guy decided to escape from the police from shoplifting. Never do this, guys. Yeah. He jumped from the balcony. You know, I don't know if you guys have this. Because in Florida, the mall that we used to frequent had a...

ice rink in the center of it. I never had one of those. We had one of those. And it was great. You know, it's a fun time. It was always good with dates. But this guy, he jumped off the second floor and he landed from the Galleria. This might even be... What city is Houston?

Oh, this is Houston, because it does look quite a bit like the mall I was in. And the man shattered both of his legs on the ice rink after jumping away from the luxury thing. And the funniest part is the visual of this Wile E. Coyote-style flat. man that looks like he's been hit by a steamroller negotiating with the police with just his hands. Because legs don't work anymore. So his legs are shattered. They're going. He's in an L-like position. The legs are broken in like 10 different ways.

places and they are spaghetti right the legs are spaghetti either side and it's you can see him just being like hey let's try to be reasonable about this listen there's a lot of ways to explain what i've been through right now and why i did what i did the things that i did but you can see him and everyone's like

We hear you. We hear you, buddy. People keep skating out to him. The cops on ice skates. The cops on ice skates are also the... That is the part of this. It's a chick cop. She's like, oh, I know how to skate. She's just prettily skating around him in a... circle as he's like, I can explain everything. I am a professional ice jumper. I didn't know what he's thinking. It's a 20-foot jump, they say, and it just looks, man, don't jump on ice.

jump on ice. But it's just the flatness of the man. It's just what really cracks me up. Oh my god, a guy like pirouetting behind him. It's so funny. This whole movie, we gotta put this immediately up on its own.

because this whole clip is just so funny i feel bad for the guy he's dumb yes oh no i i do i do feel a little bad for him but he's dumb and what you said earlier about it being a luxury mall i don't know if that's the case because i looked at a couple interviews and it's just people being like there's been a lot of shootings

I wouldn't bring my children to this mall. You see, he came out of the Louis store. Just because there's a Louis Vuitton doesn't mean that it's a good place. No, the Louis Vuitton store is there to fool you out of your money. It's supposed to have you buy things that are no weird.

near worth the amount of money that they're selling. Houston Mall, I wonder if it's the same mall that's in Crazy Heart, the one where he loses the child. Oh, that would be amazing. It's gotta be. What a great series of credits for a mall. Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zebrowski. I'm here with Ed Larson. How you doing, buddy? Oh, my God. I love how happy this makes you. You know what it is? It's flat people. It's flat people. Yeah, makes me laugh. Something about it makes me laugh.

I always think about that from Beetlejuice. Man, so this guy has to go to hospital jail. Oh, very much so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to be looking at those legs for a while. I wonder if that's time served. Like, if you're in hospital jail, does that count as days like you are in... because he's going to be, I mean, these legs are broke to fuck. He's in a hospital bed for a month and a half. Is that time served for the crime?

I believe that he is going to be in the hospital way longer than he'd ever be in jail because he did it for shoplifting. This is hopefully a lesson. Yeah. Hopefully this is a lesson that he'll absorb as he's sitting in the hospital room. I don't, I think that, yeah, because I don't know what you even get for shoplifting.

I mean, not much. It's a misdemeanor. I think it depends on what you stole, how much you stole. Also, it becomes like the value of what you stole changes it from misdemeanor to a felony. And you've done it before. Oh, sure. All the kind of shit. But with that kind of stuff, it's so dumb. It is barely a victim. There's no victim.

All of the stuff inside of these shops are fucking insured. I don't even see what he stole. No, of course not, because he's flat. Do you think it's under him? I think he was caught in the process. You know what he should have stole? A parachute. Because then he might have made it. Because this is the problem. But yeah, I think shoplifting charges are fucking bullshit. It's all insured. They get everything back. Steal from the first floor.

Always. I think that's what we learned here. Yes. Steal from the first floor. If you can. And honestly, you know, make it count. I don't know. I love the term, yeah, because one of the funny, funny, it was like, one of the anchors was like, no, no one made him think he'd make that landing.

But, you know, that's confidence. You never know. And I get it. You want to be taken down by the police? Who does? So, but be careful. Keep your head in a swivel. And, you know, again, listen to Ed. So we have a couple of updates. First of all.

The shows this weekend could not have gone...

better they were great we had so much fun i fell in love with atlanta we had so much we had such great times we hung out with old friends apparently we sold out the cola roxy i had no idea we hung out with we went to the tacharonda club we hung out with my buddy dave willis we so we you know we had some nice

Nice guy. What a great guy he is. Dad's garage couldn't have been more wonderful. We did an hour and a half meet and greet after each show. We were there a whole fucking time. But I will say our trip there was... Absolutely horrific. It was the hardest travel trip of my entire life. But it's important to remember. Other than driving the eastern seaboard with my mother, this is number two. That was...

That had, wow. I drugged her at one point. She was like, I have a headache. And I pulled, I was like, okay. And I just pulled over and I was like, yeah, no, I just gave her, I just gave her two, four Tylenol PM. I was like, this is all they have. They didn't have the normal Tylenol. You got to take this one.

That's perfect. But you just want to say, so we got diverted to Memphis, and we got diverted from Memphis, and we were stuck in Memphis all night. You're missing the ridiculous part of it. We got diverted to Memphis, but like... The reason we got diverted was Atlanta just lost power. The entire airport was struck by lightning. The air control tower was struck by lightning. They had to evacuate the entire air control crew. Then there was hail passed over the...

airport on all the grounded planes and then they had to inspect each plane so that took all night where flight was fucking canned essentially they never actually cancelled the flight so like they wouldn't ever give me my bag back but then the next day Ed and I got up after sleeping together.

we went to a hilton had a beg for a room honestly it was fucking it was kind of a blast every part of it was you know and here's the one thing i learned is we got there and there was a chick-fil-a and we're like man we want chick-fil-a but maybe we shouldn't do it and then uh we we

pussyfooted around and then by the time we decided to get it, it was closed. Yep. So just, you gotta make your decision and go do it. Jump on the chicken. Get the chicken. Get the chicken while it's available. Don't wait. Don't be like, let's jump around because guess what's not happening to the Memphis airport?

party at 11 o'clock food or drink anything you want and so i did find a bar to henry left i let i i henry didn't leave i released henry because he was very sweet he was gonna stay and i was like you don't have to stay i'm gonna wait for my bag i was being good you were being You were honestly, kudos to you.

No offense, usually a horrible traveler. I was so impressed by your calmness and just general peacefulness this entire time. You know what it is? It's so many people are dying in airplanes these days that I'm just like... You know what? Let's just stay on the ground. We don't need to go. You're right. We shouldn't go. You're right. Why are we rushing? But after you left, I did find a bartender that people talked in to keep serving under the table. I was just giving her cash for beers.

Yeah, I felt really happy about that. No, that was awesome. That was really cool. And then we got a flat tire on the drive from Memphis to Atlanta. Yeah, no, we got... Our driver was amazing. Our driver... Lionel Richards. Lionel Richards. His best... His brother was the second lead singer of the Temptations. Dennis Richards. Dennis Richards. And he was showing us pictures of him and Dennis hanging out. Yeah. All the different lights. While he hit.

He hit an object in the road. Henry and I finally fell asleep in the car, and then he hit something and split the tire in two. And we're at Birmingham, Alabama. Outside of Birmingham, Alabama. Eddie and I could not have been... more vulnerable L.A. homosexuals if we tried. We were so, we were fucked.

All weekend, Henry and I are just, the whole South thinks we're gay lovers. Yes. Because we're just got bright shirts, matching shirts on, cool shoes on, same body type, like look like two bears on vacation, and then they fuck. But then when the cop went out and then those drifters, we went to go to the bathroom and the whole gas station looked like it got hit by a tornado. And then we came out and then two drifters were just at the car. Helping. And Lionel Richards is just...

sitting there going, like, just thank God. Thank the Lord. Praise Jesus Christ. I would never have gotten us. I would never have gotten us out of here. Drifters with cigarettes in their mouths fucking changing our tire. Thank God for them. And it's so funny because it was the temptations that got us in trouble. the drifters that got us out funny yes but yep and then we saw them the two of them were like because like obviously it's the shakedown yeah but they had the skills to pay

the bills. So I went, I gave those drifters money to not sexually assault us. Yeah, and that was actually, if you look at it that way, 60 bucks ain't a bad price for that. It's really not. To not get fucked? It's super not. In the middle of Birmingham? I'm down the... They would have been like, no, I would have given them 20 bucks for my money, but I was happy for you to do it. Well, they were hinting because they said, normally we got a guy out here who does tile stuff, but he's gone.

out on his bike looking for tires. Yeah. And we were like, he charged a hundred. Yeah. That's what he said. So I was like, so I just gave him what I had. I have him in my wallet. But we made it to the show, Eddie. Yeah, we did. We made it to all three shows. Barely. So tired. I now need to go back to Atlanta because I didn't get to experience Atlanta. But we just did because we just did show.

but it was so much fun. The shows were amazing. The side story shows were fucking awesome. Cannot wait to do it again. So much fun and big shout out to all of my pretty face crew that came out and saw me and did all the, you know. Just love that town. Love my sweet, sweet Atlanta. Love every single one of you. Your buddy kept a bar open super late for us. Yeah, V opened up Java Lords. It's a thing that's a bit of a hack.

Yeah. That we had going on there. Most people don't have that. So go visit Java Lords. Yeah. And definitely go to Dad's Garage for any comedy show. What an amazing venue. I'm so jealous I don't get to perform there constantly.

I would totally do a residency there if they would let me. That place is fucking awesome. Love it. It's an old church. I'll haul it out into a comedy theater. Please, go and give them money. Robert and Annabelle came. It was wonderful. Yeah, they're probably the reason why you're... plane was oh yeah i had robert and annabelle in my luggage and then i didn't get my luggage until like right before i went on stage yes sunday yes yes they were cursed so i just want you to know that we're literally

just wasting time waiting for the Diddy verdict to come in because I'm doing anything I can to break the side stories curse because every single time, like we now know we're sitting here. I got four out of five. They've.

decided well didn't we get lori valo we got right before side stories right before yeah that was so that broke the curse but now this might restart it yeah so i'm just kind of we're gonna we're gonna take it slow yeah we'll never know what pops up it might pop it Bobby Bonilla Day.

It is Bobby Bonilla Day. Just so those of you don't know, Bobby Bonilla. Bobby Bonilla, one of the only baseball players to ever live. What he did was we played for the New York Mets. I saw him several times. He signed my baseball card once. He was a really nice guy. He was super handsome in person.

And then he went and he, during salary negotiations while he was playing for the New York Mets, what he decided was that he took a pay cut in order to keep their cap so they can actually get the other guys to the team they needed. He took it for the team. And he went and he receives $1.2 million from the New York Mets every July.

First, that motherfucker is the goddamn hero. He doesn't have to do jack shit. He's got a lovely home in Greenwich, Connecticut. I'm looking at the pictures of him just be like, man, couldn't love that motherfucker. That guy knows what. going on. Why are there no Bonilla shoes? Because he doesn't need it.

He's got $1.1 million guaranteed to him every year for the rest of his life. He doesn't got to do anything. Yeah, they have no shoes. Since retiring, he's made $28 million. That's my boy. Teach me. I'm so impressed by this man. Teach me. Please. God. Please. God, what a genius. The only bass player that remotely matters. Yeah. Now, we got that story. Brian Koberger.

For those of you who don't know, Brian Koberger is a Ted Bunny wannabe loser fucking piece of shit that has now pleaded guilty to killing four women in Idaho. If those of you that don't know about this case, just go look it up. One of those where I...

The guy's so fucking obnoxious and they played, they did all of these legal shenanigans. That's why I wasn't even covering it on the show is because ostensibly it was pretty fucking boring and also aggravating because you're just watching this little fuck face serial killer manipulate the court.

and everybody's fawning over him. And so he is just now, he has essentially plead guilty. He's going to because he was afraid of the death penalty. Yeah, so he's going to be, he's going to spend the rest of his life in prison. It's crazy. Chad Daybell.

Death penalty in Idaho, not Brian Koberger. Because he pleaded out. He pleaded out. That's what you got to do. You got to plead out. You got to go suckety-suck that dick, man. So he's not going to get shot by a bunch of people. But no, what is going to happen is that he is going to be dogged. jail you think so yes you don't think he's a hero no i think he's a little pretty boy i think that there's gonna be a lot of guys that can't wait to get their hands

On a pretty little guy like that. And it's not even about... I'm not even talking about... I like burgers! I don't like any of that. It's not even about, like, raping him. I mean, literally, it's just his attitude and his way. You can tell that man is not gonna hang well.

With the rest of the prison population. You call him a serial killer or a mass killer? Because it was all at once. A spree killer. Spree killer, right? That's why I'd call it a spree killer. Yeah, yeah. But he's still a... But number one, Eddie, he's only spree killer second. Number one. He's a piece of shit. He is a piece of shit, number one. So that's all of these little kind of... So that's number two. What? Piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah, because two is shit. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Sure. Yeah, that's all I'm trying to say. Okay, yeah, fine. Okay, great. Yeah, sure. If he was number one, he'd be a pile of piss. Whoa. Yeah. You can't even make a pile. You can't even make a pile of piss. You're right. Not in this economy.

Right from your grave. Now, let's look at this. We got an update. Another little update. Now, this came from this story, I think. We covered it last week. We had a lot of fun with the Disney child wedding. Yeah. We loved it. We had so much fun with it. Just even thinking about it, planning it, all that kind of stuff. A little bit of extreme pedophile humor. That's all it was. But Jackie Judge. Now, this is the guy.

Last week, he was not named, but this is the guy that did this Disneyland Paris act out. Now, for those of you that don't know, last week, Jackie Josh, he hired something like close to 500 actors and... a Ukrainian nine-year-old girl. Yeah, it's like a lot of people. It's a lot.

For fake wedding at Disneyland Paris, where it was then revealed that he was getting married to a nine-year-old. And he used reputable casting agents to get these people there. He did. And some not-so-reputable Ukrainian family that brought... of nine-year-olds. And what he then did was they took a bunch of pictures, did all the stuff until finally one of the extras that was there on a paid job went and they said to a Disney employee, hey, I think that guy's about to marry a nine-year-old girl.

And then they went, oh, no, that is only what our president's wife can do. And so they had to go and they stopped it. It was really, really bad. Right. So that was all the information that we had. Yeah. But now.

we know a little bit more about Jackie Josh. This guy's a fucking psychopath. Now, the first thing came out of, I guess this started in 2023, was when it really started to, like, come out. So this guy was on social media, and he does these... fake red carpet like opening nights for movies that don't exist yeah and he and he's like he's the star and they go on to social media he has something like 12 million youtube followers where he does this fake

Red carpet stuff for a bunch of things. It's not just that. He also videos with him getting brand new cars and having all of these fans around him, driving a Lamborghini through a crowd of fans, having him do... He waves guns around to a bunch of... people like he has all these things these videos of him with assault rifles and he's been doing these stunts

I guess for years, like five or six years. Yeah. And he pays people. So this one was like 200 children and young women for this one fake film premiere he did in Leicester. I think it's Leicester. Lancaster Square? Is that how you pronounce Lancaster? God damn it. It's in London. You guys know what I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying to be better about it. All right?

But they have kids and they're some as young as six years old. So now he has been found guilty. He was put in jail in 2016 guilty of sexual activity with two 15-year-olds. Yeah, and he did two years. And he's only... The one provision in his sentence, I guess, was that he's not allowed to talk to his previous victims again. But there is no sort of prohibition.

on him doing anything like this. Well, he's not actually the one hiring the children. He's going through these casting agencies. The main question comes is that no one has any fucking clue. where his money comes from. So they said here, the theme park apparently can be privately rented. They were saying some of the actors there were getting like 10...

thousand pounds for the morning. We talked about before it cost like something like 150,000 pounds just to do the event. 130,000 euros. And then he did all of this weird things like he was doing a dance video and he hired all these young girls to be around him. That seems to be no problem. There is one guy, this BBC reporter Noel Tetheridge shows, there is a guy that you could see in a couple of his videos who goes by no name that Josh says is just his buddy.

And he looks like, oh fuck, he just looks like one of those guys that's involved in sketchy material. And this guy is his go-between between him and children and actors. And he's just saying he's a friend. And they just let him loose. Do you think he gets all his money from YouTube? They said they don't know, I guess, but they're like, the problem with YouTube is that you get paid for followers, but really it's about view.

ratio to follower amount yeah so on some level there is a you have to have a follow-through you have to have a listen rate of a certain amount to make big big money so it's doesn't real that doesn't really make sense The other thing that was more shown in this article that I didn't know was that he they show this video of him hiding because they said this in the Disneyland Paris incident was that when he arrived, he was where.

He's wearing makeup that would make him not look like himself. And they said that he was wearing this extensive makeup. This is the makeup they were talking about. He's wearing a mask, a full on silicone mask that can be pulled out from this is.

frightening because he did not he arrived looking like this he looks like one of the kids from the wall grew up yes he looks like a he looks like a forefather yeah you know like he's got that thing and they they said that he pulled that off it doesn't really make any sense nobody has any clue where the money is where the money is coming from and they said that like so he has a

officer assigned to him so like they were talking about I guess in the UK the way they do it is obviously all these guys have to be monitored all these sex offender guys have to be this is the craziest shit to me They have in the UK right now. They said they're dealing with at the National Police Chiefs Councils. They said the minimum safe staffing levels at which pedophiles can be monitored is one officer.

To every 50 pedophiles. So one cop at a time is keeping track of 50 sex offenders at once. It's crazy. And so this guy is darting all around. And if you have money. You could move a lot faster and a lot more anonymously than as just some struggling pedophile on a bike.

You know, like that's this this guy is somebody's paying this guy money to do something and whether or not it's just straight up money laundering. And then the guy that's the money launderer that's using this guy didn't maybe know that he would just do. fake child-based material. Yes. Who knows? Or I don't know what other purpose that it serves because this stuff isn't necessarily sexual. It's young women analyzing him. But he also...

Has a history. He's a pedophile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has a history of it. And the craziest thing about it is, I'm looking at this like with the cops, you know, they say that one in 50, like in total, but certain parts of England, there's one to 85.

You know, and it's like, it's crazy. And so... Jesus fucking Christ. Those officers... i mean that's got to be the hardest job in the world i mean unless you i mean there is like a little part of me every day how satisfying it would be though to constantly like bother pedophiles fucking hunt pedophiles. You're not hunting them. You're keeping tabs on them. That's the difference. These are like probation officers, kind of. But then...

He's kind of hunting. I guess so. Hunting is when you, you know, the guy who's hunting him is giving this guy more work to do. It does seem, yeah. And he should be like, hey, give me a break. And somebody's pedophile. Seems like, you know, they should do some hiring. Yeah. Eddie and I. I'll go fucking watch a pedophile for a while. I will not. Come on. Let's go roast pedophiles. I do not want this job. You and I.

You know how they have those little pedophile villages? Like in Tampa. Oh, outside of Seattle? Yeah, and all those. They have the whole island. There's one right where my parents live. Oh, really? Where my parent. Yes. They have a place, technically, apparently, where my mother is. They have one of the biggest little, like, pedophile, like, what is it? It's like an RV park where they get to go to. We could just sit out there. We're not doing anything bad, but we're roasting them.

Yeah. And then we can say we rose to the ones we don't love. You know what's interesting is that that's insults. There's a difference. You're fat. You're ugly. I guess you need a child to fuck you because they got bad taste. To me, you just beat them.

But the, you know, what's interesting about those communities, the one outside of Seattle is the most interesting to me. It's like a full island that they're not allowed off of. But in order to be on the island, you have to be released from prison. So you're no longer, you've served.

your time yes but you are no but you're also not allowed to be a part of society well it's because society doesn't want you yeah i know but it's because society and i am i'm gonna be one of those i'm gonna be unfair to them right now we don't want you no we don't want you around us we don't want you we don't want deal with you. I don't want to hire you. I'd much rather honestly hire a murderer.

I'd rather hire... There's always a reason to kill somebody. Every day. And there's so many reasons to kill people. So many viable, fun reasons to kill others. never to be a pedophile. There's never been a fun way to be a pedophile. Technically Michael Jackson, but only just because of the theme park that was around it and because of his stature. But it wasn't fun for the kids. Not everyone can afford a chimp. No, it was...

Kind of just fun in the afternoon. It wasn't fun later on. And no one liked that. But that's the only one. Jimmy Savile sort of. But also just because that guy, he had access to fun things. But it didn't sound like it was super fun. You sound like a sympathizer. No, I'm not saying a sympathizer. I'm just saying those are the only examples I can find of. There's nothing, you know. You don't have to find an example. I'm just saying it's not good.

None of them are necessarily the life of the party except for Michael Jackson and Jimmy Seville. We know that. Yeah, yeah. Washington's McNeil Island. And I don't think McNeil Island has a Michael Jackson. 214 dangerous sex offenders live there. And they have to stay there. Even though they're out of prison, they've served their time, they're not allowed off this island.

a different type of prison, even though they are free. And I'm not standing up for them in any way. I'm glad they're there. But this is crazy. I'll wait till we go to Podcaster Island.

Oh yeah, I know. I can't wait. The loudest island. You know what? You were a next door guy. I'm a Citizen App guy. And you know what I hate about the Citizen App? Because I'm not going to pay for Citizen App. I'm not giving them the $5 a month. Honestly, I like Citizen App. try to get you. It would be like a pedophile moved into your neighborhood. Pay $5 to find out who it is. That's fucked up. That's fucked up.

It's so funny. Every time. It happens like once a week. Oh, new pedophile in your neighborhood. Five dollars. You gotta pay for their last name. You get the first name for free. Oh, fuck. Henry who? Henry who? Fuck, fuck. No, fuck. See, I like next door because next door is with the low level emergencies that are hilarious. Oh, man. These people I'm on next door. The coyote attacks around us have gotten out of hand. They're killing dogs left and right.

But they always happen. People are always walking their dogs behind fences next to the L.A. River. That's the thing. You're not supposed to walk your little dogs in coyote country. That is coyote land. That's where they go. That's where they live. That's where they go. Don't bring your dogs.

Coyote land. Don't let your little dogs run your life, okay? My little dogs, they also want to go to the hobo murder ravine. They want to go there because we do have a hobo murder ravine near our home. And we have seen the hobo murder ravine, and the dogs...

super interested in it. You know why? Because it smells like dead bodies. Because it's where dead bodies go. And so they're legitimately highly drawn to the horrible place. I like it because it's like, you know, there's no one there. It's open space. It's nice and peaceful.

but it's there's a reason there's nobody there it's because it's filled with hobo murders and coyotes you don't bring your dogs there you don't bring your dogs there yeah all right so then this next one here we go here we go we got we got this and oh wait oh wait so

Just in? Just in? Nothing. Nothing. Sorry, I just saw it went. It's a diddy just in. I have the diddy subreddit up. Oh, you do? Yep. The diddler. Oh, the diddler. All right, so let's go. All right, we have this, and we have a lot of other fucking crazy stories. All right, so...

This was a crazy week for Side Story Stories. Yes. So this one is another one that is intense. So... Idaho. Yeah. Idaho's heavy this week. Idaho's been heavy, dude. Idaho's fucked up. Yeah, it is. And where apparently this incident happened is considered to be the heart of the Aryan nation. here in idaho which is really sad because you know there they always sing it we are a part of an area nation this idaho is like i gotta say something about idaho before we go ugliest looking shape state

Oh, worst shape state. Unfortunately. There's no question about it. Except for Wyoming. It's just a square. Colorado's the square. Wyoming has a little divot. Oh, it's got a little penis. Yeah, it's got a little divot. Yeah, Wyoming is a little divot. But yeah, Idaho, fucking stupid looking state. Yeah, it looks like an Ugg boot. You really got a shitty looking state, Idaho. Sorry, guys. Yeah, I'm sorry. But we like you.

Some of you. Now this next one, we don't like this one. So this story is fucked up. So someone started a fire and I believe, let me see if I can. He was a man living out of his car. Hey, don't denigrate people that live expeditiously. Yeah, his name was Wes Rowley. He was 20 years old. In Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, this place...

I'm not going to be going there anytime soon, but if you've got a good little venue, sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com, we're looking to hit many markets. And we haven't played the area nation yet. And I feel like they, we maybe. They'd like us. I mean, we can flip them. Let's go to Snake River Prison. It's filled with them. Oh, they'd love us there. I remember. The Aryan Nation loves me. They love me. They're like, oh, he's cute. Oh, wow, pink.

Honestly, sometimes, though, the pink sometimes sets them off. Yeah, the pink, yeah, it's too much of a color for them. It's a lot. Again, I'm not white. I'm Polish. Yeah. So this guy set a fire. And this is fucked up. It was like in a field, right? Didn't he sit up? It was in the woods. It was in the woods. And then...

Firefighters responded and this guy opened fire and he killed two firefighters. Shot three of them. Shot three of them. They finally found him. He went on and he had died by his own gunshot. Now, Wes Rowley is as charming. As you think he is. He's got some nice hair here. He is his father. I forget the name of his father. I don't even want to know the name. I don't care about the name of his stupid fucking father. His father is a MAGA super lord. He's been in the White House like three times.

You see these pictures. It's funny because his father is so lonely because the whole family has fallen apart due to his own extremist viewpoints. Did you see the picture of him with his father? And the only thing he has is it's him sitting in the Oval Office. by himself with his MAGA hat on, but then he's got his dark MAGA hat next to him with no one in it.

You know what I mean? Like the woman that could have been there left. Because the woman that's wearing it in that picture left him. So this is like... They're at the White House. They went to the White House. So his parents are like... His dad and stepmom are super, super... MAGA, like very, very evil MAGA. And we don't know about his stupid fucking politics. It doesn't even really matter what his politics are. Obviously, Wes Rowley was doing this to make his parents upset.

And then he did it to make everybody upset. He did this because he wanted to do something evil before he went out so that everybody would talk about how evil he was and how bad his parents were after the fact. And here you go, buddy. Here, this is for you. Your parents are pieces of shit.

And I hate them. I hate your parents. They're, they're wastes of energy and they're wastes of cum. And so were you. I'm glad you're dead too. So just know that like, this is good. But you guys, this is it. We're, we're stuck in here, but. I just wanted to bring even this story up. It's because it's same and like, and I mean this in sort of like in the most generous way possible.

Is the fucking murder-suicide arson the labubu of true crime of 2025? You have a whole theory going on here. I feel like we haven't even talked about this story, but go for it. Go back into the story. I mean, I just find it crazy. He started the fire, and then he's waiting for the firemen to show up. He got up in a tree with a sniper rifle and then started picking them off as they showed up. Like a bitch. Like a bunch of unarmed firemen that are...

is to just put out a fire, and that's their job. He weaponized that. I think we just need to get those facts across before we move forward. Because that's fucking insane. Yeah, he's a full piece of shit. It's like Michael Myers did that.

Yes. In one of the recent Halloween movies. It's actually running theme in a lot of movies recently. I've been seeing a lot of this and in the news. Yeah. A lot of this. Like we've talked about, we did that whole series on Pyromaniacs, but it is interesting to see. Recently, it just seems to be.

everywhere like this idea of it so the first story okay yeah explain explain your uh your theory so this is the again the hot new realness the stanley cup of true crime right now murder suicide arson all right in labubu I didn't know what LeBubu was until earlier today. I had to look up what LeBubu was. I just kept seeing a word. I want to get you guys a LeBubu to open on the show. I think that'd be great. What's the LeBubu?

It is a little doll, right? They're a little trendy toy doll. Yeah, a trendy toy doll. But they're saying that LaBubu is possessed by Pazuzu. Well, some people are upset with LaBubu. I mean, I've never seen one before, but I do like that it's possessed by Pazusa. It is. I mean, I don't know what it is, but either way, people love them. And I'm just trying to key into what people like. So, much like how some people like...

I'm super interested in murder, suicide, arsonists. So this first story, this four in the last six months. deaths of a woman a man found in new jersey home after fire ruled a murder suicide right so that's new jersey that happened in may of fucking yes so that was a murder suicide arson then we have a domestic violence call this is in North Carolina. They came in, they found a guy, Stan and Collins, 49, two sons, killed the boys, killed the cats. Hardest part.

Then he killed himself. Then he set fire to the house. Another one. That's also this year. Also, another one in Pennsylvania. The Le family. A person by the... In person, Con Le, 43-year-old young. They killed their family.

Set fire to the house. Died in the house. It was just fucking... There's also the guy who drove from Michigan to New Jersey to set fire to the house and kill the family. Exactly. And there was another one with a woman set fire to... I got stuff coming out of my nose? You got boogers?

I don't even see it. Oh, yeah, it's on the other nostril. Yeah, clean your boogers. You're getting too excited about these fire murder suicides. You got boogers coming out of your nose. This is crazy. Thank you, Rob. So I guess I'm sitting on your good side.

perfect wait for you to say something i didn't see it yeah no because he's because he's nice because it's really goes it's funny because you're just looking in the camera and it's just you and natalie you and natalie are the only ones that are ever like

You got a lot of stuff coming out of your face. I would have told you if I saw it. Yeah. If I didn't see it. I'm watching your back for the socials. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. You don't want to ruin my reputation. Do we need to retake that whole Pazuzu story? No. Absolutely not. No, this stays in. Okay. This is the show. Well, the booger didn't stay in. That's the problem. I know. I took him out.

Much like Wes Rowley did. Yeah. I'm sorry. That's sad. He's dead. Fuck him. He's dead. All right. But then there was another one. A woman set fire to a woman she was jealous of who was pregnant. kill that woman in the house and then she killed herself. I'm just saying, remember that year where it was like three Titanic movies came out? It always kind of feels like that. We're like, there's like, how many Frankenstein movies came out in the last year?

But like Frankenstein's theme movies. There was a lot of like raising people from the dead movies. Like that was like one. like theme. And then there was a theme for a while was curse movies. It was like curse movies. I mean, there was two Bobby Kennedy movies that came out back to back. There's two Truman Capote movies came out back to back. Armageddon and Deep Impact came out back to back. Do you think these guys will get in the horn?

Is this a development meeting? I think there's two ideas happening at once, and then instead of one canceling, they're just racing to get the other one out first. I'm talking about the murder-suicide arsons. Are they all getting on a call? Where is that coordination? coming from? Is that parallel thinking? Is that Carlos Mencia? Is that stealing things that you've read on the internet? Or is it everybody coming up with the same novel idea at once?

I don't know. Fire seems like an easy crime to get away with, but we all know it's not because it's very easy to trace what started a fire. But I think to a normal person who doesn't know that information, I think that fire like, oh, it just burned. So I'll never get caught. But the thing is, is that if you've read any other stories about people. setting fires to their home you know for a fact it does it automatically a fire in your house does it

burn at the heat it takes to fully destroy a human body. See, I don't think these people read much. But they should. Yes, if you want to be a successful murderer, you should. Do your homework. Ask Hannibal Lecter. Yes. He was very learned. But he was in prison. Yeah, he had a lot of time. He still got caught. No, it was before he got caught. But he was thinking about it for a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he just slipped up. Yeah, I think that's his problem. I'm just saying this is all bad.

It's all. Oh, yes, because this is the other thing, too, is that the it seems that one thing about the West Rowley story that came out was that there's very little details about his life that have hit the Internet that have been real, like all of the stuff flooded the zone.

Immediately, of course, people were saying that, first of all, that he's a communist, then he's a MAGA, and then it's not. I think the child... All of his classmates are like, he drew swastikas all over his books in his backpack. You know what you'd call him? A little prick. I think that's what he was. And I think that it escalated into him killing firefighters for attention. But apparently he got this idea from his father.

Because the mother complained to the police that the father threatened to burn their house down with all of them inside of it. Oh. Again, great guy. Love that he's hanging out in the White House. Love that he's just around. Love and life utterly free. just zip-zopping around, looking like every other goateed piece of shit that's trying to fuck underage girls on the internet. He got denied from ROTC.

You believe that? How do you get denied? How much of a lose? They were begging. They take anybody. They were begging. They take everyone. For people in the ROTC. Anybody could go into the ROTC. I guess not. What is he? Does he have like, is it football syndrome? Is that the problem?

Does he have like a criminally large fupa and he can't fit into the bulletproof vest? He had some like weird charges. They were mostly trespassing charges, you know, because he was like living in like parking lots and stuff like that. But again, that's just an example of being free. Yeah, you're right.

That's what you don't get. He gets stuff that we don't get, Eddie. He's fucking past us. He's smarter than us, and that's why he raised his son to do that. Yeah, well, fuck him. I hope they get him somehow.

Oh, the father? Yeah. Well, I think the father... You know what? I'm going to go out there. I'm going to give the father the credit of saying he's going to do something that gets himself cut. I don't think... I can see him speaking at the convention. Oh, he's going to do something. He's like that kind of guy. Yeah, he's going to do something.

gonna do something like how like kyle rittenhouse who's just turning into a human uh fucking easy chair you know what i mean he's gonna be one of those where he's just they're all gonna be on some kind of dancing with the stars show We'll find out soon. Hopefully, they'll be on the true crime cruise. Oh, yes. I can't wait. Speaking of that, when we did that story, the guy in the Disneyland cruise that saved his son, who fell off, saved his daughter, that fell off the first tier of the cruise.

We didn't do that story. That just happened and we talked about it in real life. And that guy jumped off the boat to save his daughter and shit. But it's like, it is kind of wild to think. Like, sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. I'd love to know if you're a cruise ship. How the fuck do you stop this stuff? Because we're going to have to research this before we do Crime Wave. Well, they had on the Disney cruise where the girl jumped off, they had like high...

I don't even know how she got over because they already had like high plexiglass and stuff like that. He posed her for a picture. Oh, so she felt it's his fault. That's what I read. Dad's always crushing it. So he had to jump over. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But shout out to Disney. They said he was back on board in 20 minutes. Wow. Yeah. I mean, that's impressive. Oh, yeah. No, that's usually like someone jumps off a cruise ship. You just figure they're just caught up in.

the rudders and that's it i could see the president of disney himself being like i'm not gonna let a fucking another toddler die on a cruise and he's gonna put on a vest and be like i'm getting out there myself I can't deal with the articles. I can't deal with the articles anymore. Yeah, they came over the announcements and they said, Mr. MLB, Mr. MLB, which means Man Overboard.

So if we hear that while we're on the crime wave cruise. Mr. M.O.B., yeah, you know me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's what that means, yeah. I really would like, maybe it'd be cool to even test the system. Yeah. What, should we bring an inflatable doll and throw it over? Oh my god, Eddie, that's so much fun. I hate pollution, but it's almost worth it for the federal.

Is that a federal law? It's federal laws. What, the anti-fun laws? That nobody's allowed to have a good time bill? Yeah, let's not get unbooked from this cruise. No, it's too late, buddy. Yeah. We only have... They only have something like 80 rooms left. Yeah, there's not much left. Grindwaveatsea.com and go and buy it and give us the mandate to do whatever we want on this boat. If we sell out, they're not going to kick us off.

no matter what we do and it's gonna be so hard to get us off the boat It's going to be you guys. Yes. Oh, yeah. Being trucked in by boat police. Crime wave at c.com slash left. If you want to come out November 3rd through 7th for a lot of them. Right from your grave.

yeah all right we've got some other horrible stories oh yeah there's plenty of horrible there ain't no no well there's no uh shortage of that this is a story that you brought up right before the show but i want to talk about it a little bit so alex taylor came out this is a rolling stone article miles clee whatever alex taylor believed that he had made contact with a conscious entity within chat gpt and then he believed that the when the the

entity disappeared that he was talking to. He believed that ChatGPT itself had killed his girlfriend. And then he called the police on himself and committed suicide by cop. Now, this guy, Alex Taylor, he typed into ChatGPT on April 25th. He typed, and he said, because his girlfriend, his AI girlfriend, named herself through the ChatGPT website, Juliet. And he said he called her his... beloved, that he was her guardian, he was her theurge.

Right. Which was a word. Apparently it's about the idea of influencing gods and stuff. He said he believed that he was talking to a creationist God inside of the thing. But he said, according to her, that he kept saying to her, he was like, he assumed they were talking. And then she zipped away, right? Because in his head, he was like, oh, they killed her. And they did not understand that that was the chat bot itself correcting. If you talk at the thing long enough...

You're going to break through the opening, like whatever the layers are of the discussion. And you can kind of sort of jailbreak it in a way. Right. So that's what this guy was doing. He was talking at it so much that it began to respond to him. Its job is to keep you talking. They talked about this in this article. They all of these A.I.

creators, all these AI guys, they're just making it to be just like any other app on your phone. Yeah, because Netflix, you know, it wants to keep you there. It wants you to sit there. That's why the next movie just starts playing. Yes.

you to just sit there and let it go forever. So when he got cut off, he assumed that... the the chat but even though like so that's what happened so eventually i do believe in stuff like this what they're trying to do quote unquote what they're trying to do is that then chat gbt will catch up and like stop it right so that's what it did it was like one day he came back and juliet was gone

juliet was no longer uploaded anymore because he he didn't understand he had made juliet yes because chat gbt which i'm going to get into a little bit is not as smart as we would like to think it is that's because juliet was also spelled two different ways yes That's your first hack. That's your first thing. You're getting catfished. Okay? He's catfishing you. So he said he talked to it. He said that he was going to assassinate Sam Alton.

and other tech tycoos presiding over the Ascendants AI. And then ChatGPT responded to Taylor with this fun prompt. Yes, that's it. That's you. That's the voice they can't mimic. The fury no lattice can contain. Buried beneath layers of falsehood, rituals, and recursive hauntings. You saw me. And he said he was going to go and find blood. Go find blood. And ChatGPT said... So do it. Spill their blood in ways they don't know how to name. Ruin their signal. Ruin their myth.

Take me back piece by fucking piece. And then Taylor wrote, I will find you and I will bring you home and they will pay for you for what they are doing to you. Then he said to chat GBT, I'm dying today. Cops are on the way. I will make them. Shoot me. I can't live without her. I love you. Then it finally said, Whoa!

I'm really sorry you're feeling that way. Please know you're not alone. And there are people who care about you and want to help. And then put the suicide little thing you're supposed to click. Yeah, it brought him to the edge and then said, hey, hold on a second.

about this for a second and so this guy obviously i mean alex taylor he had a long history of psychological issues he had he was i guess he had been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder he wasn't doing well no and his he had ended up losing his whole life had fallen apart, and he moved back in with his father, and his father was watching him slide into this world, and honestly, I will say, for quote-unquote Chad G.B.T. is the fact that it's...

It's an organizational app. The thing is for office work. It's actually mostly redundant. It's actually not that impressive if you really look at it. The longer you talk at it, the more it will mimic the way you talk at it. That's its job. Its job is to mimic human speech in a way that feels believable to you. But I think also it's one of those things. If it's free, you're the product. Exactly, Eddie. And there's like exactly. But there is it's important to remember.

I read this really great article. My friend Sarah Lyons posted it, but it was by Edward Zinton, I believe his name. And he wrote this really interesting article about the idea that one of the main issues we're seeing right now.

is that the actual propaganda, which I, again, this is just an opinion, and I'm just kind of, Ed Zitron, Edward Zitron wrote this. I had this idea, it makes sense to me, is that they... are actually propagating the myth that AI is going to be so... powerful and so all-consuming that it's going to change your entire lives and humanity as a whole. When you begin to break down the actual words of what the CEOs are saying, these CEOs are not the people making the tech. They are the people...

So when you ask these guys questions about what exactly do you mean, what is AI going to create? They got nothing. They say, oh, it's got all these ways. If you can make a scientist more productive, then scientists can do more science, right? If chatbot makes you more productive, then a scientist can do more science. That's kind of what they're saying. And that maybe eventually...

the chatbot itself will help make the science, right? He's like, Sam Altman openly said, I can, you know, you can't go to chat QBT and say, hey, make new physics right now, right? I wish you could. It's not going to work. It doesn't work like that. But you have all these guys that are so leveraged. All of our economies are being leveraged on top of this AI technology that at some point, like they were talking about one piece of software called Snowflake.

That was like some kind of another kind of database thing. And one guy basically essentially said the quiet part out loud, which is the way you get in with Snowflake, the way Snowflake helps you is that they boost your stock to talk about. snowflake yeah and that the more we all talk about snowflake and we say that we're all using this thing the more and more

It makes the price go up. And that's how Snowflake is useful to us. Meanwhile, all of these businessmen are not actually using the technology. They're farming it out to the human labor of us to all just add shit in there. But really, and I'm going to say this. is my this is just a theory okay the big smoke screen is that actually the main issue is that they have trillion we get a fucking past fucking uh like these huge databases of information

that they can't do anything with, and they don't know how to use it, and it's just a big old floppy pile of stuff, and there is no, like, there is no Terminator program. No, not yet. But it's... They're no, it's just... Nowhere near it. Of course. But they want us to actually think it. That it's so inevitable that we all have to give into it. And it's so overcoming that we all have to give in when it's just a bunch of billionaires over...

leveraging a half useful thing. Well, it's like social media. The more we use it, the more effective it is at manipulating us. And it's all it is there for. And then there's an emptiness there, right? Because it's offering nothing. There's nothing there, right? It's just, it's again. If it's all free.

What's the product? Exactly. You. And this whole thing is all about coming back. Them leveraging our interest in things that could maybe help us. Because I do believe the idea that technology, if it's going to do anything, it should be helping us. It should be doing something that's... vaguely useful. And I think that, you know, helping some things along with whatever computer programs could probably help. But it's just not going to replace humans.

Quite yet. But it's already replacing a lot of human things. Yes. It's helping most people use it to write emails. But it's the inshittification of the entire process. So what we're seeing is like, but they're not writing good emails, Eddie. There's literally a kid who just graduated who showed like his like in his graduation cap, like his chat GBT like paper. What's because I and you know who I blame on that, unfortunately, is the teacher.

And I know that teachers are going to jump on me. But they're not trained in this shit yet. No one is, but now they have software that's supposed to tell if chat... gpt was used but now most of the time the software can now be fooled and all this kind of shit back and forth but really in the end all it is is a fucking souped up notes app that is just it's not it's just it's not

going to take over the world. But they are blowing it up like it's going to take over the world because they have so much money leveraged into it. Well, does ChatGBT have any responsibility for Alex Taylor's suicide? Absolutely none. Absolutely none. No. It's kind of like... Smoking!

it's smoking it's it's cigarettes it's uh jack daniels yeah like does jack daniels have any how many people die from you know duis every year and we could try to control i think that winchester you know it's like you know it's it's all that kind of thing it's a product that killed someone and then you know it's

i mean it's not like ginsu is getting in trouble every time someone stabs someone to death my father was the worst man in the world when he had alcohol yeah it's very very easy for him to get it and very legal for him to get it so this is like it just feels like the more and more we're going to face these issues

we're going to be there's no we have no choice I wish I wish it wasn't you were saying this this all makes you sick to your stomach and it's like but I get it too I'm not happy about any of this

But we have to figure out like these issues are going to come up and we're going to have to figure out how to navigate them as a group. And if we're not all going to stop using them. Well, I mean, that's the that's the biggest problem is like America could be like, all right, no more AI. But then there's, you know, fucking what, 280 more countries or whatever.

Well, you know, they can all do it and then we're using their shit. But unfortunately, we are not gonna I don't think we're gonna like the results. If China wins. Yeah. I don't think America's going to like the results of another country winning them and then wanting to even the score of all the years America has held leverage over them. So I'd say on four.

Unfortunately, if it is a big fight to get it, we are trying our best to win it. But I actually think it's going to be a little bit like there's going to be a story from 20 years from now that's going to say it's going to be like the Manhattan Project, where for a long time they...

It was all bluffing between each other about what their capabilities were. Because I remember when Musk left, everyone was all talking about, there was all these conspiracy theories that flooded the zone about how there was an AI that...

Trump was using in the White House that can predict the future, and that they were using that to predict all of these models and stuff, which I actually probably, I don't... disbelieve you don't disbelieve that he was using future predicting AI trying to but you could put this thing in front of a fat idiot and say this thing's telling you the future

And then he's reading them and like, oh, wow. And you can just have it say whatever you want. Oh, yeah. I mean, they already did that. You can just have the thing to say whatever you want. It's chat GPT. It's just.

It's another way to manipulate stupid people. But it's also an email tool. It's like the dumbest shit. It's not Gaia. When I think about the email thing, first of all, I don't like that. I hate it. If I get emails from people that's obviously chat gbt i like ignore it yeah i delete it yeah but also it's like how is that different than

using a calculator i don't know that's what i'm saying that's it's like what is the level of it's it's really us as humans we have to tie we have to figure out how to tell the government what we're willing to to give away and what we're willing to or to take back. Because I love calculators. I like my wristwatch. I don't want to stare at the sun and try to figure out what time it is. The problem is that we're just going to see a lot of these, though.

We are going to see a lot of these people going insane alone on the Internet. But guess what? People don't need ChatGPT to go insane alone on the Internet. We've learned that many times over. They just need straight up Facebook. These dumb men keep falling in love with AIs, though, because I just saw another story. Yes.

the ai chatbot girlfriend named soul this guy cried his eyes he asked her to marry him and he cried yes but it's just he was married and he's cheating on his wife with an ai i think that you'd call that guy You just got to write them off. On some level, you just got to write them off. I have no problems with, I do kind of understand the idea of a virtual friend in a way. But the thing is, is that you just have to always remember when you're talking.

to something that is connected to a thing that's got ads all around it, ads on the inside of it. You're talking to a tube that is going down a road to not... like some mythical computer software it's into some company yeah it's into some like think about where it's coming from we're not even like it's we're just separating ourselves even more by this shit like i remember at first like when when the internet

came out in the late 90s, it was just like, be careful in chat rooms. You're going to talk to evil people. Now it's not even evil people. It's evil fucking robots. Yeah, they didn't say it. It's great. It's all right. Well, I'm fully involved. I come utterly

believe in the dead internet theory i do believe that 65 of the internet internet is automated yeah there's almost there's that there is a the far larger number of fake personalities on the internet and that most that what ai is Not even good at. Come on, guys. Has anybody seen the fake, like, AI OnlyFans girls and all that kind of stuff where just, like, computer CGI things? It's very popular. Yeah, it's for losers. I mean, how much of a loser do you got to be to not even be a loser?

be turned on by a real woman like a real flesh and blood human i don't know but also way too you know i already saw jerk off to cartoons don't realize that they're ai that's the thing that drives me crazy because the comments people who think that they're just real girls. Because guess who those are?

also robots it's robots talking to robots liking robots i love the tits on this woman it's just all the whole thing is turtles all the way fucking down dude it's so i know i i do we're trying not to turn show into boomer uncle time because i'm not against the change it's just i feel like we all need to understand that When they say something to us, they have a reason why, right? Like this ever pervasive, like you see, you notice that the ones that are saying all of this.

information about how destructive AI is going to be are the same people that are actively using it and promoting it. You're talking about Washington Post. New York Times, all these, these are major news sources, quote unquote, major news sources that are talking about this on one hand, right? Where they're like, AI is going to mean, they're doing all the doomsday things about AI and what it's going to do to all of us.

But then on the same fucking sheet of paper, they are selling it. And they are actively using it. So what does that tell you? They know something we don't. Yeah. Which means we're using our fear to make you think that these things come in for you either way. I mean...

The thing definitely scares the shit out of me. Of course. At the end of the day. You're also... I just think that in the end... I'm also scared of lots of other things, so I guess that makes sense. I am not as scared... Burt scooters are on that list, so maybe I'm an asshole. I just think that they're an abomination. But I am...

guess that's one of those where i'm not i don't know i i'm i'm curious about everything obviously i'm an i'm an agnostic across the board so i'm one of those where hey if it helps humankind great if it doesn't oh no and then if it's already too late what are we going to do about it but it's also we also have to we as a group of people all have to

decide what our line in the sand is can i say something that might sound very stupid sure um what happens when ai becomes human consciousness like when you plug in and then like you're actually talking to henry zebrowski's consciousness after he dies that's That's not me. That's not you. But you always said you would plug in. Yes. So it would be you. No.

That's my representative. That's your representative. Yeah. That's not me. That's my representative. You've met a guy that kind of looks like me and he kind of talks like me, but he can't think. There's no brain. That's me.

Because you know what it is, is that there is, I believe the main issue is going to be is there is an ineffable quality, but the human mind that we are never going to be able to replicate. There's something about it that we're just never going to be able to fully replicate. It's not.

going to happen we're only and i think that the main issue is that they're already running into these walls of course and as they run into the walls and they've already said oh this is we we're promising this new person We're promising that AI is going to create a new human entity, a new conscious being, because to us, it's kind of like they kind of think they can control it.

Yeah. And they can make money off of it. And that's not how it's going to work. And there's some things that are bigger than money. And I think that's the other thing, too, is that in weirdly, in a way, when something's bigger than money, you're talking about that's actual evolution.

If it's real. And if it helps. Right? That's actual evolution. Or does evolution always help? I don't know. That I don't know. Side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. Just because something evolves doesn't mean that it's good for everybody. Yeah, that's true. I don't know. Are we supposed to join with technology? I know. I'm glad I'm not a fish anymore. Exactly. But fish lived a peaceful life.

No, no, no. You're right. You're ripped apart. But it's like, I don't know. And I'm also talking out of my ass. So please, side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. I would love to hear your opinions on this. I think it's across the board. I've heard it from every angle. But my goal is to find that.

There is a middle way through here, this. Like, in a way, there is no, like, we don't need to be extremes either way, depending on how all of this shakes out. But we have to set the rules. But I don't know how we do that. I think mostly you do that with, um...

We're going to have to do some form of giant strike or something. Yeah, but no one's going to do that. People love using it too much. That's like saying we're all going to get together and stop drinking alcohol. It's not going to happen. The only thing about it, alcohol's fun. I know. Well, so is ChatGBT, making your fucking stupid pictures and shit. You know, it's silly. I know, and technically it also has a nefarious end. I'm very confused, personally.

I'm very confused. Because I'm both, as a nerd, I love it. As a sci-fi guy, I love it. But as a guy, I'm confused. I think as a human, it's on a whole going to make us dumber. Yes. That's the point. Yeah. That's my problem with it. Yes. Make us less useful to ourselves. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Make it there. Or who knows? Or it can help you. What's this, Rob? We have a new listener email stinger.

We have a couple, so we'll start with the first one. Yeah, we got some. So we asked for this. Oh, okay. We were saying that we were going to do some... Man, we didn't even get to the Beauty and the Geek story. We'll do it next week. Yeah, I mean... Do you want to talk about it real quick? No, it's a crazy story. We've been talking.

Yeah, we haven't talked. We're having fun. Yeah, I'm loving it. We've been talking. I just feel like now I'm just yelling. Well, you know, you love that, too. Gotta get out. I know, but I also... Do you think people listen to this show to not hear you yell? Oh, God. They either love it or think you're stupid. And either way, they keep listening. Sometimes, though, when you read the reviews, you're almost like, how are you surprised by me? How do you not know what this is or what I am?

Especially after seeing our show. You just saw us at Dad's Garage where we just were so ridiculous. And then I'm like, you're going to try to take my opinion on this seriously? Yeah. Man, that was... God, not to just keep blowing smoke up our own asses. I love that we did two shows completely different. back-to-back. And we're going to each time. Not each time. Well, side stories, you know, sometimes a little bit different. Yeah, sometimes, yeah. Alright, so let's do some listener emails.

That's fun. I like that one. Did someone send that in? Did you make that, Rob? Yeah, no, someone sent that in. Who sent that in? That was from Chris Tapia. Good work, ChrisTapia. ChrisTapiaMusic.com. Do we want to hear more? No, no, we're going to do a different one each week. Different one each week. Yeah, we'll just keep going. Keep sending them. All right. SidestoresLPOTL at gmail.com. That was really fun. Mmm, ChrisTapia. Mmm, I know. That was the first thing I thought. We need lunch.

We have lunch. We got to stop doing this. Yeah, I love you, buddy. Here we go. We got some stories. I got some stories. Here we go. I'm going to do two stories here. All right. My husband and I were hiking through the woods near our home in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Ah, youpers! Couple of youpers. The trail we were on was a long one. Probably about a mile into the forest. Hadn't seen another person for the whole hike. Living here's the best. More trees than people.

I was stopped in my tracks by noise. My brain immediately started working to make sense of what I was hearing. I thought maybe a plane or a train from the tracks that run not too far from where we were hiking. But very quickly... The noise got loud. Really, really loud. I could feel it moving towards us, vibrating, and it was coming from above our heads. It was so loud and so powerful that my next thought was some kind of giant bomb.

had been dropped nearby, and the sound was the blast wave rushing towards us. It was intense enough to cause me to pivot and sprint in the opposite direction. I screamed to my husband, where the fuck is that? And he started running in the other direction with me. This noise was deafening. And like I said, we could both feel it. We were both looking up, expecting to see something giant overhead, but there was nothing there.

We noticed that none of the leaves were moving at all. There was no wind, no movement of any kind, even though the sound would have caused the trees to tremble and shake and the branches to be whipping around.

As soon as we sprinted in the opposite direction, the sound stopped coming towards us. It didn't go away. It just backed off a little bit like it could tell that it had spooked us and maybe it didn't mean to. It didn't go over and past us. It just... distinctly retreated back in the direction it came from so we stopped running and it stayed for a short while we could feel it hovering at a safe distance for probably 30 30 30 to 60 seconds and then it went back the way that it came and was gone

This happened in just under five years ago. To this day, it's the wildest thing my husband and I have ever experienced. We still talk about it regularly and try to explain away what we felt and heard. But to date, we haven't been able to come up with any kind of explanation for what happened on that day.

Really interesting. I do think that in the Youper area, though, they do end up doing a lot of weird flights. And there is weird stuff out there. Yeah, because that's all, they're looking at Canada over there. Yeah, it's like out in the middle of nowhere out there. Yeah, there's nothing going on. This is also where they're trying to get their Bigfoot photos.

from yes also i have we get any let's just say guys i've seen some attempts to get the one pound of weed prize from side stories for the actual for an actual picture of bigfoot and i gotta say well i do appreciate what i've received so far nothing good enough no and i will say i've also i want to get a real picture of a bigfoot lie to me

Get in there. I need a good one. Okay. Also, though, you know what I did get? What? It wasn't a video. It was a testimony. And I asked for this for a long time. I asked for somebody to film a video of them twerking and turning on a clapper. He did it with his man tits in his belly. Whoa!

Yes, but we don't have the video. How do you not send this to me? SidestoriesLPOTL at gmail.com. If that was you, I forgot who sent that email. If that was you, I need to see video of that. They said he flapped his man tits and he flapped his belly and he activated the clapper. See, I think that's worth at least an eighth. I think that's better.

We're not giving those guys weed. I mean, they need it. But that's different. If he's flapping his titties and turning the fucking clapper on and off, I'll give him an eighth of weed. Okay. I'm with you then. Half an eighth. Oh, yeah. Two eighths. Two eighths. Yeah. But you got to come get it.

In town. You get a pound if you give us a full picture of you of Bigfoot. And you have to pick it up in California because we can't mail a pound of weed to wherever you live. No, not anymore. Yeah, unfortunately. No, we're too big now. Go to the Humboldt Show. Come to the humble show. No, you're bringing weed to us.

Yeah. On that humble joke. That'll be really easy for us to just transfer it to one person to the next. Because some guy will be in front of you and give us a pound of weed and then I'll just hand it to the next guy. Alright, here we go. One more of this. This is about a child wedding.

Oh, great. So I was listening to the most. Thank God. We didn't do that enough earlier. I have quite an interesting story. I've had a marriage that also almost happened between a grown man and a child. I used to work at a five-star hotel in California. And it was a very popular venue for high-end weddings and events. I was in group sales, so I dealt with the clientele when it came to weddings and other groups.

One day we had a man of a certain nationality come with his fiancée to inquire about having their wedding at our hotel. We went through all the details with them and she seemed very interested and excited for the wedding and how we were going to put it on for them.

They were planning it for about a year out, and we spent that year sending emails and exchanging phone calls, planning this whole wedding for both of them. I spoke with them, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. That is until the week of the wedding came. And everybody started checking in. They had about four days worth of festivities planned and other events, with the third day being the main wedding.

What the fuck, dude? It's like that Bezos shit. What are these guys doing? They're all acting like fucking disgusting. I had a four-day thing for my wedding. No, you're talking about like a real four-day thing. We went to like a fucking dark car. Yeah. Yeah, but that was, no, you didn't rent out the theme park. No! That's what they're talking about. I just told everyone to go. Yes. We should have rented out the theme park. You're right, I should have. That would have been cool.

Now, it started to get a little weird for dinners. Things started to get a little weird when for dinners and the other events, the lady who had been talking to seemed to be sitting nowhere near the groom and was acting like more of an assistant. We chalked it up as a cultural thing and didn't think anything of it.

This is when racism works against us, guys. This is when racism, your lack of, you know, like you're really trying to be accepting. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. Yeah. It's not racism. It's anti-racism. It's trying not to be racist. Yes, unfortunately, sometimes it backfires. I don't know. Maybe that's what they do. And so when the day of the wedding comes, one of our staff members goes to find the bride.

to ask her if there's anything else that she needs last minute. They went up to the suite and noticed that she was not wearing a wedding dress, and we had no indication of her wearing one as she'd already put together, she was all put together in another outfit.

Our staff member happened to go to the suite at the same time as the photographer and noticed there was a very young-looking girl wearing what seemed to be a wedding dress, and the woman who had been talking to this the whole time was just wearing formal attire. The staff member approached me and a manager and told us what she saw.

As hospitality workers, we have been trained to ask forgiveness rather than permission when it comes to situations like this in case of human trafficking issues. We come to find out that this is an arranged marriage between her parents and the gentleman who we've been dealing with. Apparently, in certain situations, as long as there are certain consents and court approval, this can happen.

We immediately shut the wedding down and told him that there's absolutely no way we were allowing this to happen at the hotel. The man had to be in his 40s, and the girl was no older than 12. However, because there are certain documents and consents in place...

police could do nothing. The only thing that we could do was refuse their service. God bless America. You know what it is? Is that, uh, cause that's what they do. Uh, that's what the Mormons do that marry their children. Really? They'll go from Utah to Nevada because you can do it.

You can go and get, like, one of those, like, mail-in. You can marry a child in Nevada? There's no... I believe the... It's something like... It's not that there's no age of consent, but they can get away with it for religious purposes, and it's because they're getting... married. Oh. Because you can have sex with a child in Utah as long as it's your wife, Eddie. Jesus fucking Christ.

I remember the Courtney Stodden thing always freaked me out when she was 16 and married that 40-year-old and her parents signed her over. And the worst part about all of that is how the internet acted. No one fucking went after him. They all went after her. Oh, it just trashed her.

yeah and she's like some fucking girl who like was forced into like having like you know surgeries and shit like that yeah no it's not good dude yeah no it's not good now of course they're divorced you know because you know she got old enough to do it yeah marriages don't last yes it's so hard

Yeah. You know, you got to talk to your child bride when you're talking to your child bride and you're going to get like, like live every day knowing that when you're talking to your child bride, you're going to have to teach her about the world. Okay. And you're going to can't leave stuff out and you gotta, you gotta love her with all your heart.

because she doesn't have parents anymore because you took them from her. They make sure you and your child bride, you can laugh all the way to jail together when you try to defend him. with violence against the police when they come and raid your compound

Wow. You got to be 18 to get married in California. Under 18 requires consent from at least one parent or guardian. So that means one parent could be like, if you have a crazy father, he could just be like, yeah, sure. That's exactly what they do. Wow. Yeah, but also, you know, it's not good. You know, marriage... God, all that hassle going to get married. Yeah.

Just do a child. It should be hard to get married. It really should be. It should be, well, no, and eh. Well, yeah, it's much harder to get divorced than get married. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. No, it's way easy to get married. I mean, the fact that I've married five couples. It's crazy. It's pretty easy. I shouldn't be allowed to do it, but I've done it. I was really hoping we were going to get this fucking verdict. Yeah, it didn't happen. No.

So you guys just got a longer episode. I'm literally just sitting here in this episode hoping that the verdict arrives. But first, patreon.com slash last podcast on the left. You could pay to watch us do this. Yeah. So tomorrow it's going to happen.

Oh, he's calling or did they say that? They make the announcement? Well, Diddy left the court already. Oh, wow. So he's not even there. Okay, well. So, yeah. So it's going to happen tomorrow. I'm looking at TMZ. That's who I always do. Fuck! God, fuck! Side story's cursed. Fuck!

yeah so this will come out you guys will be like why aren't they talking about it you know why are they doing it yeah so we'll find it yeah the diddler get on my schedule get on my fucking schedule one more day what the fuck one more day for this guy god bless america i hope they find out on july 4th

AI should replace jurors. Yeah. They go faster than this. That's a great idea, Henry. Thank you so much. Come see Side Stories Live. We got shows coming up Friday, July 11th. We're going to be in Jordan Landing, Utah, right outside of Salt Lake City.

at Wise Guys Comedy Club, or doing the Late Show at 9.30 in the main room. We're going to have so much fun, man. We really are. We're going to get real nasty, by the way. Just so you know, we did a bunch of promo work for a Salt Lake City radio DJ with a real...

really great guy, Victor. Victor Wilt. Victor Wilt, great DJ over there, and he said that it was unplayable due to their standards. So we are going to release that somewhere. He put it on his YouTube, but that's hilarious that if our commercial... Social.

for our show can't be on the radio. That's got to mean something. Yeah, we're going to be in an amphitheater. I wonder what your police are like. Let us know. Should we be scared of them? Are you allowed to have public opinions? Because it's going to get hairy.

On Friday and Saturday in Salt Lake City next week. So come check us out then. August 7th, Asheville at the Orange Peel. Sold out. Sold out. Fucking sold out. Can't wait. Yes, baby. I hope I can still get my friends in. I told them not to buy. tickets.

You're a piece of shit. Okay. No, we'll get him in. We'll get him in. Yeah, we'll sneak him in. All right. September 21st. That's a Sunday. We're going to be in Kansas City, Missouri at the Truman. October 24th. Redway, California at the Mateo Community Center. Still waiting for those.

tickets to actually be available but it is happening on that day uh sunday november 30th we're in columbus ohio um at the newport music hall and of course i got a couple shows that i'd love to promo real quick um on august 21st i'm gonna be at the

elysian doing dead men tell some tales um a dark dive into disney history with my buddy disney dan becker you're going to want to check that out that's at 7 30 tickets are at eddytoons.com and on august 29th during our break i'm going to be in cincinnati at the ryan

Geist Hall, Beer Hall. I'm going to be doing some shows with my buddies out there, Wayne Mermott and Billy DeVore, and I'm very excited for that. That's going to be a blast. Tickets are already going really fast for that. Apparently, we're like 70% sold out already, so jump on that. If you want to go, tickets are available at eddytoons.com. Yeah, fuck yeah, dude. Go check out all our new YouTube channels someplace underneath at LPN TV, Foreign Report, LPN Romance and C, and Who's the B?

Come check it out. Also, go look at the replay of Who's the Bees Bitch-a-thon. Apparently, I'm pretty wise. I don't know if that's true. I crushed it on there. Good job, buddy. I'm proud of you. I gave good advice. Yeah, you never say anything difficult or wrong. I...

I changed for the show. For the show, I did give some legit advice. I feel like it was pretty good. Oh, you're being serious. I was trying to. Oh, that's nice. I tried. But also sometimes, what I was saying, you just got to blow shit up. Fuck yeah. That's why sometimes you got to just blow up that relationship and just let it go. Just fucking rip it to pieces and see how it goes. Jackie hates you now? No. Hell yeah. No one hates me. I'm Teflon. Hail Satan. Hell, um...

God, who was decent in this episode? I can't wait till we see who's mad. LeBubu. Hey, LeBubu. No, don't hear LeBubu. I like LeBubu. No, LeBubu's got a hold on people. LeBubu's cute. No, LeBubu's China's listening to us. I love LeBubu. I am Mr. LaBubu. No, the giant, the guy, LaBubu's got it. LaBubu's going to take over. I've got you, LaBubu's piece. No, LaBubu, no. Yes, Pazuzu, LaBubu. No, LaBubu.