Episode 619: Martin Bryant Part II - The Port Arthur Massacre

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Available online or in-store from pet specialist retailers. For more information, see uk.frontline.com. Contains a Fox Alana. There's no place to escape to. This is the last time. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. God. You know what I'm sad for? This whole series, what really makes me sad. Like, I'm kind of sad. I'm feeling sad about. I feel sad for the guns. The guns. Because they never...

You know, like they're just sitting around gathering dust. No purpose. Can't you just wish, don't you see that they just want to... Have a reason to be, Marcus. Oh, you're talking about all the Australian guns that were rounded up? Yes, Eddie. I think they melted them down. But then they become goo.

And then the ones that are there to watch. There's not like a warehouse in Australia somewhere with 675,000 guns. And how about the other guns that ratted out the other guns? The self-hating guns that called the authorities. On their fellow guns. Are you getting Alzheimer's? No. You might be because you're 41 today. I am dying. Yeah, you are technically dying. Is today the first? Happy birthday. I haven't told you yet. Happy birthday. And this is my favorite way to celebrate it.

talking about martin bryant's shooting spree welcome to last podcast on the left ladies and gentlemen my name's marcus parks i'm here with the birthday boy henry zebrowski don't you just want a gun to have its purpose everyone should have a purpose. There's no reason to blame the guns. They are made from the earth. They are. They're natural. Mama Gaia has all the ingredients for the gun. Yeah, that's true. Why are you making

Making my gun tree illegal. This is not fair. Oh, man. To go back to the bullet farm. Then, of course, the great horticulturalist Ed Larson. That's one of his tics. It's been getting us in a lot of trouble. Yes, what are you going to do? I still love going to the movie theater. Yep. As do we all. And we're here for Martin Bryant.

Part two. Yeah, get our laughter out now, folks. Yep. This is the conclusion to our series. So when we last left Martin Bryant, he was 25 years old. And within the previous 10 months, he'd lost the only two people in his life who had ever been able to maintain some semblance of control over his behavior. The first to go had been his older female companion, the eccentric gambling heir. See, it's a funny...

The second death was Martin's father, Maurice, who died by suicide at the age of 64 shortly after Martin had received millions of dollars in inheritance because he was the sole beneficiary in Helen Harvey's will. But because of this... inheritance martin could pretty much do and buy whatever he wanted with no one to watch over him hilarious start

Your comedy chops are really developing. Thank you. I owe it to you, really. I learned it from watching you. You know, I got looking into this. I started watching Near Time. Right? Neardom? Nitram. Nitram. The movie made by Snowtown, the Snowtown directors, that's all about Martin Bryant. But I guess they couldn't get proper...

like permission to use his life story. See, I thought it was more of they just didn't want to use his name because they didn't want to, you know, give him publicity or, you know, whatever. It's a movie about him. I know. Yes. Everyone else's name is real. Yes. Yeah. But the guy that plays Martin Bryant is awesome. Caleb Landry-Johnson. Yeah. Great actor. Great actor. He's got that.

He's got a naturally creepy face. Yeah. And he's really, really good at it. Like, he's very, very good at it. But it kind of brought a lot, like, full circle to me. Oh, yeah, that guy. He was in Twin Peaks The Return. Yes, he's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three billboards. He's a great actor. Yeah, yeah. He's great. But the Helen relationship with Martin Bryant actually kind of made even more sense because of that movie to me. Yeah. Like way more about like lost souls.

finding each other and they both serving a purpose of legitimately just almost like filling the time. Yeah. Yeah. Filling the loneliness. Yeah. It's about taking away the hours for these people.

As far as Martin went, the car accident with Helen had resulted in a head injury that had turned Martin's personality from sullen and slightly withdrawn to overly chatty. And that was in addition to the fact that he had become even more aggressive than he already was. As a result, Martin's mother had all but given up on him. She'd abandoned Martin to the farm where he'd lived with Helen prior to her death.

At the farm, Martin became more isolated and resentful towards the world at large, mostly because the world had rejected the extremely antagonistic way that he approached the rest of humanity. Oh, give it a do, fuck you. You don't like my berries, fuck you. You don't like my fucking pigeons, fuck you. It's my form, go fuck.

Oh, I'm sorry, being aggressive. A tad. Yeah, a tad. The fuck yous are always aggressive, Martin. I don't know how many times I got to tell you the fuck yous. You look like a pig. What you calling?

That's almost a compliment. Almost. It's getting there. Now, how many of these guys, like spree shooters, serial killers, like head injuries... Pretty common, probably. Very common. Yeah, it's mostly injuries to the frontal lobe. Like Ted Bondi, John Wayne Gacy. A lot of times it's in childhood. Sometimes it's in adulthood. But yeah, frontal lobe injuries.

It kind of turns off the connection that you feel to the rest of humanity. Your brain should really be a well-made souffle of emotions, experiences, thoughts, and desires. But when you...

smack the oven a couple of times, it makes a souffle turn into a runny pile of eggy custard. Especially when the souffle was already fucked up to begin with. When it's a shit-based souffle, and then all of a sudden, and now it's just... shit custard that's the problem here yeah you can't even say like well it tastes like the shit that it's made from but at least the presentation is nice you can't say that can't say that anymore

Now, because of Martin's off-putting demeanor, he became extremely lonely, especially after Helen died. And while he did go on dates here and there with women both older and younger than himself, the initial attraction that women felt because of Martin's good look... would dry up as soon as they spent any significant amount of time with him.

So Martin found a way to basically hold companions hostage when he began using his inheritance money to buy business class seats on international flights. This is amazing. He never stayed in his destinations long, but the destination... wasn't the point instead martin took the flights so he would have a captive audience for up to 12 hours at a time so that's what's going on that's what's happening to me yes i'm subject to terrorism

People want to talk to me. You know when it's the worst? Truly, the Midwest. business man oh god the midwest business man is the single worst domestic terrorist that you can meet with this is the crime yeah no it's the midwest businessman will sit and he'll talk and he'll talk and he'll always

That brings you into town. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Business or pleasure? Yeah. For me, I mix it. And he always refers to some cryptic shit that sounds illegal, impossible, and very strange. Just let you know, if you ever got a problem in Peoria, you just let me know. don't mean Stubby Pete will take care of it for you. There's a lot of things I've taken care of in priori. Remember that straight up murderer we met on the flight to Adelaide? Yeah. The man whose only luggage was a half...

dress doll for his daughter that he held in his hand. No, it was a flash action figure. That's what it was. It was a flash action figure. Nothing like my favorite action figure of my favorite canceled actor. That's what I can't wait for my...

strange father to bring me from america yeah no this man in adelaide he definitely like that's what i'm talking about with like cryptic shit he kept like referring to his connections in adelaide as adelaide as we all know is like the murder cap it's like the crime capital of all

Australia. Shady shit happens in Adelaide. Normally, I think it just means that I know a place where a woman will blow you. And normally, and you might not be super happy with the results of it, but it's done. Well, following.

the Port Arthur massacre, countless people who have been trapped in a seat next to Martin Bryant came forward. That's who that guy was. Yeah. No, I mean, that's the thing is that Martin Bryant was such an irritating person that people would remember him from like decades previous like oh yeah I remember that fucking guy yeah I'll never forget like he's a story people said that he would invade their personal space he would talk directly into their face

And you just simply would not shut up for the entirety of the flight. These so-called conversations would be rambling stream-of-consciousness diatribes, and if one person stopped listening, Martin would continually make the rounds bothering every person in his vicinity until the flight was over.

This is why you can't give Holden a raise. No, we cannot. You can't get the diamond status. Because if he gets the diamond status, it's going to get upgraded at any time. It's going to unleash this same series of hell on any other unsuspecting young ladies that are in.

But I'm also saying big old men as well. Yeah, Holden doesn't talk to young ladies. He's only going to talk to older men. He just talks to whoever he can get at. Yeah. But Martin Bryant, it's hard because I do understand there's a lot of fun stuff to talk about on the plane.

I can make wind come from the top of the sky. Whee! Yeah, whee! Whee! Whee! Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong. Hey, look, it's when I'm watching a movie. It's got dick in it. It's got help with dick in it. I can jerk off to it while watching it. Hey, what are you doing there? Oh, Dr. Pepper, more like...

Mr. Pepper, hi, doctors. Hey, there, how you doing? Hey, you're a big lady. You're very big from the bottom down, aren't you? You think I can pee in my mouth? Actually, son, yes, I do.

Well, traveling at a pace of a new flight once every two days or so, Martin used his inheritance to take more than a dozen trips between late 1993 and the end of 1995. Basically, Martin traveled to any location that took forever. to get to from Australia. Went to London, Bangkok, Frankfurt, Tokyo, Kuala Lumpur. Later, Martin would say that the goal of these trips was to meet quote-unquote normal people. I'm just trying to reach out the ahoy ploy.

But no part of his adventure would ever work out the way he wanted it to. For example, after exhausting the passengers on his flight, Martin would go to restaurants and cafes at his destination and talk to random people. mostly just get up and move away. These trips, however, were always top of the line. Martin would go to his travel agent's office, dump

$10,000 on their desk and say, send me somewhere. Wow. The agent would therefore set Martin up with business class seats, expensive hotels, and reservations at the finest restaurants. ever happened to travel agents? Expedia. Are they all dead? Yeah, they all die. You know, we put them in prison? There's always... You notice they're reserved for the extraordinarily rich. It's like, you know, the first season of White Lotus is like, I'm going to call my travel...

Is it really? Because I always kind of thought it was the opposite. I've only ever seen travel agents in little cities where no one would ever even think of leaving. There's always like a travel agent and there was like an Oscoda. Yeah. travel agent. You know where all the travel agents are? Queens. Queens is full of travel agents. Well, it's the most culturally diverse town in the world. Exactly. People gotta get back home. Oh, yeah.

But at the same time that Martin Bryant was taking these trips and forcing people into being his temporary companions, he was also building the arsenal. that would enable him to enact the Port Arthur massacre a couple years later. It's kind of like when I sit on the plane and I slowly go through pictures of Carmi and Wendy and it's just him just going, I'll miss that gun. Hey, I'll miss that when I miss this clip.

That's one of my favorite clips. It looks like my favorite fruit. You know, guess what? Guess what my favorite fruit is. Gun fruit? No. Passion fruit? No. Grapes? No. Apples? No. Pears. No. Tangerine. Keep guessing. It's a banana. Oh, you're just getting me to talk to you, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, take a look at this gun. Don't these grenades look like tits? Yes. They do. Thank you. Because you drew nipples on them. You're right. God, you're my best friend. Martin's first gun was an AR-10.

This model had just been imported to Australia for the first time in the 90s, where it was sold through gun shops and newspaper ads. These sellers hardly ever asked for gun licenses when selling these extremely deadly weapons, which is a good thing for Martin.

because he certainly did not have a gun license at any point. With stuff like assault rifles, do you think it's for fun? Like literally just because it's fun to have? Or do you think they use them for like, you know how they made the big thing about how we needed assault rifles for the feral hogs? It's like 90-10. Yeah. It's honestly 90-10. Knowing many people with these types of weapons.

It's for fun. Yeah, because most of the time you're not mowing down a bunch of civilians in Afghanistan. No, and that's the thing is that when I was in high school, people shot, like, teenagers hunted feral hogs. with just regular ass guns and killed a lot of them. They had no problem killing these feral hogs with just regular ass rifles. But maybe the feral hogs aren't as big of pussies anymore. Oh, yeah, the feral hogs, they've organized. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's 90-10 fun to, like, yeah, I might actually need this for something. People are just scared of their fellow man. It's true. It's also a fun way to get your mail quicker.

By 1995, Martin finally discovered that if he wanted some sort of romantic companionship, his best course of action was to go for teenage girls who didn't know any better. Girls who might be dazzled by his looks. And he therefore began a short relationship with...

a girl named janetta the dane cook method well that relationship ended when martin forced janetta to stay out at sea during choppy conditions after dark on a boat martin owned The motor on the boat died, and after they were rescued by a fishing boat a few hours later, Janetta broke up with Martin. I thought this would endear you to me. This is fun as hell. This is the magic. This is the magic of...

with nitrum chicks love boats and chicks love dark unmoving unpowered boats best there's one thing a woman loves it's being trapped in a boat they love it devastated martin sold his boat and used the money to buy an ar-15 the same gun that he would use to devastating effect at port arthur This gun, and all the others to come, were bought from a gun dealer named Terry Hill at a store called Guns and Ammo, where licenses were, again, optional.

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Join us for tips, tricks and all those magical, beautiful baby experiences on Parenting Heaven. It's just so wonderful. Oh, really? This is why I bank with Monzo. For every explosive nappy change, I stick a quid in my spa day pot. At this rate, I'll hit my goal by the weekend. UK residents, T's and C's apply. Now, by early 1996, the year of the massacre, Martin's mother, Carlene, had finally recognized their son needed help.

Of course! Yes! That's why I dress like that, by the way. I dress like an idiot to disarm people. It's so much better that way. I like being a character from a movie, but in real life. You just gotta know that... People are laughing at you, and I do it for them to do that. Yeah. Yeah, of course. You can't get upset about it. No, no, that's the thing. I remember when I was in...

I was in junior high, but I bought this felt top hat that had a bunch of aliens on it, and it was green and it was black, and I wore it around the mall and got really mad when people laughed at me. Of course, because you're like, you don't... fucking get the fact that I'm out of this town. Me and my hat are going to the big city and I'm going to learn to tap.

Everybody's going to pay tickets to see me run and dance and sing. But it is the reaction of a child. It's the reaction of a 13-year-old. And, you know, Martin Bryant's having this exact same reaction at 25.

And, of course, is having homicidal thoughts while he's having that reaction. That's the main difference. Yes. Remember those gutter punks we had living with us? Oh, I remember. And we had that one lady who would always, you know, the one who had the dirty tattoo gun and couldn't get hired as a tattoo artist? Well, she was the one.

that said that she didn't need to pay rent because she could just tattoo us. Yes. Yeah. And we never took her up on that. I still regret that. The only reason why is because it was the... You know, hepatitis C would have done wonders for your career. That is really what I needed is something that Pete Davidson...

extra zhuzh. But Eddie, remember, the problem with her is that she sort of looked like you but with little angel wings on her. I know, but that's the thing. I remember she was wearing those angel wings at Publix and she got mad when someone said something to her. It's like... You're wearing angel wings in public. Yeah. You're going to get comments. Maybe.

Well, Martin also started drinking heavily, grossly focusing on straight Bailey's Irish cream. Cool. Or Sambuca. Wow. All while he listened to the same albums over and over or watched the same TV shows or movies continuously. He's like James Gandalf. Yeah. What is it? What did James Gandolfini?

Did he just listen to the same thing over and over? Just the idea of all the Sambuca. Oh, yeah. Oh, the Sambuca. Yeah, how often do you hit the Sambuca? I'm sure lots of Steely Dan as well. Yeah, James Gandolfini only listen to the Bee Gees. Well, primarily, Martin loved the stylings of 1960s British pop icon Cliff Richard. Cliff Richard never broke through in the United States. He's kind of a bland combination of Neil Diamond and Tom Jones. Also had some very bland soft rock hits in the 80s.

But Martin Bryant's favorite album was the soundtrack to The Lion King, which either proves his subnormal intelligence or proves that music taste has absolutely nothing to do with violent behavior. I just bought it on vinyl. Yeah! And you're not playing at all. Oh, God. Between this and your boys, the boys you collect for the stream. That's fine. You know, he's just trying. They're not always boys. They're just, you know, they're usually, they're definitely.

Definitely children. Yes. What are you going to DJ with this shit? He's going to listen to it in his home for pleasure. Yes. I also bought Beauty and the Beast. Now that's a wonderful soundtrack. It's unbelievable. Yeah. You know it's underrated. Little Mermaid. Oh, it's next on my list. I don't know, guys. I don't know. No, imagine getting super stoned and dropping the needle on under the sea. I just do it in my own head. I like a look at this stuff.

Isn't it neat? I've seen you do the song. You did it in karaoke for Julie's birthday. Yeah, that's my wife. Well, as far as movies went, Martin had a massive VHS collection of over 1,300 tapes. But while he did love action movies like Steven Seagal's Under Siege, Jackie Chan's The Protector, his favorite movie of all was... the pig-centric talking animal vehicle, Babe. Okay, so, like, what am I supposed to do here? Like, you are this guy.

you and him if you just met him and like if you were to speed dating like event and you both just had to list the things that you guys both love your favorite things this is your best friend do you like talking pigs You better believe I do. You better believe I love James Cromwell's Alfred Hens. I literally wore out the tape on my under siege.

Wow. I see. I did. Wow. I feel like you're the kind of guy that like had babe on VHS and upgraded to DVD and then now own it on Blu-ray. I wish. When you bury the VHS outside where you're like. That'll do, VHS. That'll do.

Well, that same year, 1996, Martin did find a companion, despite all his talk of loneliness. See, guys, that's all you got to do. And the way he found her, I think, tells you that he was far more in control of his faculties than one might expect. Now, I'm sure that the paper helped him out with this, but Martin still had the wherewithal to place a personal ad. It read, in a surprisingly sane tone, quote, Glidey companion for scuba diving, tennis, camping, and whining, and diving.

See, it sounds sane. Oh yeah, definitely. I'd fall for it. You see, I do see him typing it in a big cartoony, like, typewriter while he's talking to a bird that's like, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill. He's like, no, soon, very, very soon. Martin got exactly one reply. from a 20-year-old horticultural student named Petra Wilmot. That's all you need. Or Petra. Petra Wilmot.

Surprisingly, she had a way with Martin just like Helen had. But while she said Martin was gentle and kind with her, he became irritable and aggressive any time they were around other people. The weirdest incident in their relationship, though, considering what Martin was...

soon do was when he and Petra went to see Casino. According to Petra, Martin had to leave after he got queasy during the scene where De Niro, you know that scene where De Niro has the car counter's fingers crushed with the hammer? Really bothered Martin. He got queasy. He had to leave. That's his trigger finger.

Wow, he was traumatized. You know, it could also literally be that's why these guys use these guns, though. Yeah. Because they're very far from the action when you're using the guns. That's true. It's a distancing effect. Well. As we'll see. He didn't, but people normally do. Normally, yeah. But even with the ups and downs, Petra moved in with Martin in 1996, and she would still be living with him when Martin perpetrated the massacre a few months later.

Now, as far as why Martin did what he did, there doesn't seem to be a single event in his life that fully inspired the mass murder, a personal event. Rather, it seems like the massacre was an idea that slowly developed over time, because Martin did tell investigators... after his arrest, that he'd been planning on doing something like this for a couple of years.

For Martin's later testimony, though, while the idea was just sort of floating around the whole time he was buying his guns, the idea began to actually crystallize after Martin became obsessed with two true crime stories that occurred in Australia and the UK. respectively in 1996. The first occurred in the early part of the year when an eight-year-old boy was kidnapped in a scheme masterminded by a career criminal named Jeffrey Peter Radloff.

Directing a crew of three, including himself, Radloff told his guys to abduct the boy from his home in the middle of the night and take him to a hotel. The henchmen, however, panicked almost immediately because they believed the police were on to them. So they dumped their abductee in the middle of the street just 18 hours after the kidnapping before the ransom had a chance to go through.

this as some form of this is a plot to a film that none of us will ever see yeah this is literally problem troiled for where they they kidnapped the most able evil, strong-willed. and cunning child possible. It's problem child meets home alone meets Clifford. Somehow there was a worse boy than Martin Bryan and they found him and they had to bag him and release him. They literally

were like, this is actually too hot for my blood. He ruined the headquarters. He flooded my grandmother's house. Where did he get a crossbow from? Now, Martin was obsessed with this kidnapping case. Such was his fascination that when he was arrested for the massacre, he recognized one of the detectives who'd worked the crime, and Martin treated him like a celebrity. And what was, I'm sure, a chilling statement.

to the officer, Martin told him that the kidnapping had partially inspired Martin to commit his crimes, because the case had given him the idea to kidnap someone after the shooting to use as a hostage.

But the incident that inspired Martin far more than the kidnapping case was a mass shooting that occurred in March of 1996 at a primary school in the Scottish town of Dunblane. There, a disgruntled 43-year-old former scoutmaster named Thomas Watt Hamilton murdered 16 children and a teacher with two 9mm pistols and two .357 revolvers, while 12 others

their kids and three other teachers were wounded. Like Martin Bryant, Thomas Hamilton was a local misfit who was nicknamed Spock by the adults in Dunblane because of his otherworldly demeanor. But to the kids, Thomas Hamilton was simply known as Mr. Creepy. Dr. Creepy. I didn't go to 10 years of creepy medical school. Duke University to be called Mr. Dookie University, please.

Yeah, the caca college. I also see a lot of Scoutmasters killing a bunch of people, and I think partially, you know why? Little scarves. You think the little... The anger brought upon... Buy little scarves. Do you think that you're saying the little scarves cut off the air supply and it causes some sort of like hypoxia? I think we press on some kind of neck nerve or something. Like you ever see Dennis Rader in his full Scoutmaster uniform? Yeah. Sitting there when his high.

knee socks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little scarf and shit. Like, you could just tell that he wants to just choke a boy until he comes. He's just sitting on top of that. He's waiting to do it. It's interesting that so many scout leaders, because all those Cub Scouts, they're armed. They all got tiny little belly popper knives. Yeah, but I feel like they like the challenge.

Well, Hamilton had been obsessed with running youth clubs for boys throughout his life, ever since he'd been fired from the scouts for extreme incompetence as a young man. He just kind of showed up and was like, so where are the tents? I don't know. Well, you mean tense. Yeah. What are tense? Yeah.

What's a river? But Hamilton also displayed other extremely inappropriate behaviors, like his penchant for taking photos of little boys in swim trunks and plastering the walls of his home with... the prince see this is just me charting their experiences and mostly just seeing them grow from the littlest version of themselves to the tightest biggest version of a boy version of themselves And I like to kind of see how the years change their torsos. It's completely normal.

I like to see how their feet grow. I like to see the hair sprout on their preubescent legs. I wouldn't have to make it myself if they just sold it to me. They won't take it. Can't there be a store for me? Thank you. So after Hamilton was denied the privilege of running yet another boys club in 1995, which he blamed on rumors spread by the local police and the Boy Scouts, he was a pedo. Those are who should be spreading those rumors, by the way. Those who should be saying those words.

It's not like it's just from Mary down the street. No, the police are telling people he's a pedophile. Yeah, that's an investigation. After that, Hamilton snapped and killed 16 children just a month and a half before Martin Bryant carried out the Port Arthur Massacre. You see a pedophile killing kids like this at any other place? No, I don't think so.

I don't want to fuck kids so much. I want to shoot them from far away. And I certainly don't want to suck them. Oh, God, I don't want to suck them. I'd be doing it, right? I'd be doing it. unstable yeah sounds like an unstable man it's mr creepy to you

But like Australia, Great Britain passed legislation after the Dunblane massacre. They banned the private ownership of most handguns. And while there has been one mass shooting on what we'd call an American level in the UK since Dunblane, that would be the... Cumbria massacre of 2010, Dumblain remains the worst mass shooting on record in the UK. They don't get new records year after year like we do. Get those numbers up, guys. Now, Thomas Hamilton perpetrated his massacre on March 13th.

And it seems like the attention Hamilton received directly inspired Martin Bryant to finally carry out the massacre he'd been planning over the previous two years, pretty much ever since his father died. See just a week before Port Arthur, Martin ran into an old neighbor of his grandmother at the local supermarket.

Now, it's hard to say how the conversation got to this point, but this neighbor said that Martin told her that nobody ever wanted to listen to him or go with him, and he was getting fed up with it. So he was going to do something that would make everybody remember him, or at least that's what the neighbor claimed he said.

Now, one can make the argument that we're giving Martin exactly what he wants by doing this series, but that misses the whole point of why we cover these people. We don't talk about Martin Bryant solely because he killed 35 people. We talk about him because he's a fantastically weird loser. and hiding him in the shadows and treating him like a mythical monster only makes us more afraid of people like him. Meanwhile, Martin gets to be remembered

only as a gun-toting mass murderer instead of the pathetic fucking dud that he actually was. Now, as far as why Martin Bryant chose Port Arthur as his target, the reasons seem to be twofold. Firstly, Port Arthur was a popular tourist destination because it still had a massive British penal colony. It was one of just 11 left in Australia.

The penitentiary was called the Port Arthur Historic Site, and Martin knew that if he went there on a Sunday, there would be more than enough people around both the parking lot and inside the site's cafe to maximize the body count. The second reason why Martin chose Port Arthur was because this had been the site of what he considered to be his father's greatest humiliation.

If you'll remember, Maurice Bryant had planned to buy a bed and breakfast called Seascape in Port Arthur, and had even sold Martin Bryant's childhood home to make the sale. But two people named Sally and David Martin had scooped the property up from under Maurice, and Martin Bryant had convinced himself in the intervening years that Sally and David had bought Seascape for the sole reason of spiting his father.

Bryant then extrapolated that imagined spite and used it as the reason behind the depression that led to his father's suicide. In other words, Martin Bryant blamed Sally and David for his father's death. So he therefore decided that their deaths would be the perfect starting point for the massacre. Again, this is an entire you really could make.

a horror movie about what about Bob, of the movie What About Bob, that is this entire plot. Yeah. There is a lot here that reminds me of Bob Wiley. I've been thinking about him a lot recently. Yeah. My favorite when he goes to the mental institution and everybody loves him. Yeah. You know, he's telling all the jokes where he goes to the guy, you know, I love all the jokes. Yeah. And he tells all the insane asylum.

I mean, this also like I have to say, like, I didn't realize that this was where this all took place. I was when we went to Australia last year, I literally was like, Julie and I were. trying to decide if we're going to go to Tasmania or Sydney afterwards. And I was like, oh, this fucking, this prison at Port Arthur looks fucking cool. Wow. Like I literally wanted to go there, not knowing it was the site of this fucking crazy thing. So I can see why.

People are drawn to it. You have all of Martin Bryan's favorite things. You were drawn to the Port Arthur. You didn't even know that the massacre was there. You had brought your home guns with you to Australia so you could sleep. Yes. You're real close. Real close. I mean, I used to own an assault rifle.

But you barely used it. I did barely use it. You're right. I only used it a handful of times at a shooting range. Yeah, you never killed a bunch of people with it. Thank you, Henry. It's important that we make that distinction.

And so, on the morning of April 28th, 1996, Martin left the farm for Port Arthur, telling his live-in girlfriend Petra that he had something to do and wouldn't be back till the next day. Now, even though Martin didn't have a driver's license, he had bought a yellow Volvo and he knew how to drive. So Martin loaded his Volvo first with handcuffs and rope for the eventual hostage or hostages, along with a hunting knife and several.

cans of gasoline for the eventual burning of the seascape bed and breakfast. Then Martin loaded in a duffel bag filled with his incredibly powerful collection of guns, including his AR-15, a .308 semi-automatic rifle, and a 12-gauge shotgun. He would have brought more.

But Martin was so excited about what he was about to do that he actually left his AR-10 behind. This is where this incident is very different than a lot of the other... mass shooters that you'd cover or things that we've heard about in the past like I'll always kind of remember you know uh Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold doing that pump up video they made a video where they were pumping each other up before doing it and it was like real dark and they're all like you know

Come for all you fucks. You have Anders Breivik, who was this militant who viewed this as his solemn way of changing society. Sung Cho, brooding. Brooding. Elliot Rodger, but making his videos, you know, like it's, it's very, yeah. It's always like a very broody. Yeah. Martin Bryant. It is. I mean it. is doing the whole thing. He's literally just singing Lion King's theme.

So excited, going, kissing his gun, being like, hey, don't sleep too hard. You can be waking up soon. All right, time to go. Having fun. It's extreme enthusiasm. So much that he was so excited he forgot. got part of his stuff. Yeah, he was just like, oh my God, I've got to go. I just, ow. You know, like when you're ready for vacation. Dude, the same thing happened to me when I asked Julie to marry me. I was so concerned that I was going to forget the ring that I forgot my wallet.

she had to pay for everything all night. Just like Martin Bryant. Listen, we can make comparisons all day long. I already got the cops watching me. You also have a really long hair. I did. I had beautiful hair. My hair was nicer than his. It was. Yeah. But once Martin had all his tools of death and destruction loaded up, he took a few swigs of Sambuca and headed towards Port Arthur.

located less than 50 kilometers south, with the full intent of killing as many people as possible. Now, Martin was full of contradictions on the day of the massacre. While he later said that he fully intended to die either by suicide or by cop that day, he still went to great lengths to establish a sort of bizarre alibi on his way to the historic site.

Once he arrived in the town of Port Arthur, Martin began a small tour of the gas stations that were on the road to the site. He arrived at the first station at 1030 a.m. and wandered around the grounds for about an hour before going inside to buy a lot. and commenting loudly about the big plans he had for surfing that afternoon. You know me, bringing my cigarettes to the ocean. That's my favorite, hanging down and smoking a butt. All right.

Can I have nine lighters, please? Ten minutes later, Martin stopped at another gas station where he talked about the same thing. My tomato can and me are going on to the surfboard having fun with the fish. And the flounder. Having fun. He did actually buy a can of tomato sauce. And that was it. That's the only thing he bought. This is all I need. This is all I need. I bring it out there. Pour it on the coral. They love it. Makes it Italian.

Then he finally stopped at a third station to buy coffee and $15 worth of gas, again going on and on about the surfing. There's a little part of me that also thinks that he was doing this because he kind of, he knows criminals make alibis. Yeah. He's not. Like, he's deeply mentally ill. But I will say, he also knows a lot more than he knows. But he knows the difference between right and wrong. Definitely. But it's like, he's so...

He's such a wackadoo cartoon character at this point that he literally is just like, if I'm going to be a big time criminal, I need to set up my alibi. And then just go and does it like it's a chapter in a video game. Wasn't he also obsessed with... pretending to know how to surf? Yes, he was. Wasn't that one of the things? He was a poser. He always had that yellow Volvo. He always had a surfboard on the rack up top, but didn't know how to surf at all. And he always dressed

One of his costumes was a very, I guess you would call it, a version of the surfer dude, but it would be very exaggerated. And he would talk in the surfer dude's voice. Well, that's like all the clothes in Australia. Yeah. Call me shop at Billabong. Billabong, yeah. Billabong, I believe it's the name of their prime minister.

It's speculated that, as you said, Martin was trying to create an alibi to get away with the shooting, even though he wasn't planning on covering his face that day, which is again a contradiction towards his previous alleged statements that he was committing this heinous act so people would remember. Why would you create an alibi if you want to be remembered? But as we know, Martin wasn't too bright.

So I suppose he believed that stopping at three gas stations instead of one would only strengthen his alibi that he was actually surfing that day instead of killing 35 people. It's also speculated that Martin Bryant may have been delaying the massacre, hoping that someone would give him a reason to not go through with it. But I don't think that was the case.

at all. Instead, I think that Bryant really was thinking that when he was captured, he was going to say that he was surfing all day. And if you didn't believe him, all you had to do was go ask the three gas station attendants that he loudly and aggressively talked. to that morning.

I wonder if there is a psychological term for that idea of sort of that empty movement. Because I do think it's obviously not good. It's not a good plan. It's magical thinking is part of it, and that's a narcissistic term. Keeping your options open, maybe? I don't know. I could kind of see that. Maybe I won't kill everybody today. Maybe this is just a fantasy I'm going to have. Maybe this is all a thing.

But as we've seen with many mass killers and serial killers, they set up all the circumstances where then now I'm doing it despite myself. Yeah. And also he could just be. an idiot and he's a mean sociopathic it's like that's what we always kind of talk about dumb mean brings a lot to the yard. If he really would have truly step-by-step planned this, he might not have done it.

You know, he might not have been successful. Yeah, if he was cogent enough to really think about how to do it, because he's not at the, because I view him as, again, he's in the chaotic evil category. Yes. Like, Anders Breivik, lawful evil category almost, and that way we're like,

Like, Anders Breivik planned to an nth in order to copy this massacre. Like, he took this as a plan that he took from a moron, which is kind of, now you think about it, it's kind of hilarious in a way, where it's like he took his perfect... terrorist plan from a babbling idiot.

Now, as I said, Martin's main reason for choosing Port Arthur was so he could begin the massacre by killing David and Sally Martin, the owners of the Seascape Bed and Breakfast. So after Martin made his gas station tour, he drove his yellow Volvo to the end.

parked behind the building and knocked on the back door. Sally Martin answered and actually recognized Martin from all those years before, because as I said, Martin Bryant was not a character you were likely to forget, even over a decade later. Sally listened to Martin ramble on and on about how he and his girlfriend needed a room for the night, so she said, fine, yes, you can have the room, whatever. She led him up the stairs while Martin followed carrying his duffel bag full of guns.

Once in the room Martin asked how David was referring to Sally's husband. Sally replied that he was downstairs making breakfast which was the beginning of the celebration of his 72nd birthday. Sally then left. So Martin pulled his AR-15 from his duffel and followed her downstairs. Sally and David Martin were naturally stunned when they were faced with the sight of a large assault rifle, but Bryant told them that this was just a robbery.

and immediately put gags in Sally and David's mouths before taking them to their bedroom, where he ordered them to lie down on their bed. Once he had them where he wanted them, Martin put a pillow over David's head first and fired, killing him instantly. Then he did the same with Sally. She, however, survived the initial shot, so Martin rolled her over and fatally put a bullet in her chest. And with that, the Port Arthur massacre had begun. This is also where you see he could plan.

And he did know. Oh, absolutely. At every point. Yeah, yeah. No, he planned. He knew. He was nowhere near as incapacitated or disabled. As some people try to make him out to be. Or he was trying to make himself out to be even later on. Yes. Also like.

Tasmania is like a peaceful place. Oh, very much so. Australia is. Yeah. And so I think like a lot of times, like at first I'm like, why didn't these people do anything? Why did they just sit there and take it? They don't understand the concept of someone might. Murder them. It's not Bed-Stuy. Exactly. Heads not on a swivel. Like it is in most of America. Because they don't need to be. And they didn't know the sound of distant gunfire. They don't know what it sounds like.

Like the same thing happened with Anders Breivik. It does not make you a brave culture warrior to shoot a bunch of people that don't know it's fucking coming. Like it's just it's yeah. Yeah. You killed a bunch of people. It's because they were already in the park sitting there. Yeah. Try it against the military.

I mean, don't. You can give it a shot. You can give it a shot. Now, Martin had gotten quite bloody from the double murder, so he took a shower at the B&B and changed clothes. And for me, I don't know why that's a...

a chilling scene. It is. But it is. These two people are lying dead and he's taking a shower. Oh, because it's just... perfunctory yeah using their soap and shit yeah he went straight from just you know even though he was building it those moments but right before he shot them he was just a normal guy yeah and then once you fucking shoot two people dead it's over for you you're no longer

that old guy anymore. You're not just a Lion King fan anymore. Not anymore. Well, at this point, Martin said, he remembered the years he spent in Port Arthur as a kid where they all called him Silly Martin.

In his mind, it was their fault that he was alone, even though he had a fucking live-in girlfriend. So all the talk about him being alone or whatever, that's just fucking horseshit. Yeah, I mean, it's the same for all of these fucking pieces of shit. Yeah, I mean, Martin, like most mass shooters, was just...

mad that he wasn't able to act however he wanted, whenever he wanted. Angry that the world didn't bend to his will at every turn. And furious at the fact that living in the world and being accepted by people takes actual fucking effort. It's a two-way street.

what shitheads like Elliot Rodger never fucking understood. They all think the world fucking owes them something and they're so mad when they don't get the fucking payout. God, Elliot Rodger is such a fucking loser. Imagine like being so lame that you own a Ferrari. can't get laid. You know, like, it's so easy to do in Santa Barbara to get a Ferrari and get laid. Elliot Rodger was such a, we did a whole thing and it's like, ah, yes, the Supreme Gentleman. The Supreme Gentleman.

You know, they're all fucking losers because nobody's promised nothing in this fucking life. No. Except... Like Jack Quaid. He's doing very well. There's a lot of stuff that was. He's doing very well. He's a fan of the show. He's a friend of the show. But there are people that are more equal than others. Sure. But you still got to deal with it. I mean, look at Arnie Hammer. It didn't matter how many fucking clits he tried to bite.

Yeah. All right. It was hard for a while. Silly army. Yeah. Where are you going with this? I'm just saying he had the whole genetic lottery in there and he still thought I should be able to chew on clits and try to eat these bitches because I'm handsome and I'm rich. and unpowerful. And in the end, everyone's like, no. Now he's got an apartment. Yeah. I'm sure he's got more than an apartment. He's fine. He's still like a billionaire. Yeah. But no matter Martin Bryant's real motivations.

He left David and Sally's bodies where they had been killed and drove out to the Port Arthur historic site. Immediately, Bryant got into a confrontation with the toll booth attendant because Bryant didn't want to pay the $25 entry fee. But after causing... a small scene, Martin forked over the cash and entered. And he's cheap. Yeah. It's aggravating. One of the worst, one of his worst qualities. Besides, also a hypocrite. Yeah. Worst thing you can be. I'm your grave.

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Now, while it may seem like the massacre would be perpetrated by Martin stalking the grounds of the penitentiary, the majority of the mass shooting would take place at the historic site's restaurant, the Broad Arrow Cafe. Coincidentally, Martin's parents, Maurice and Carlene, had actually taken lunch at the Broad Arrow with Martin and Helen Harvey way back when, so Martin was quite familiar with the establishment.

So at 1.30 p.m., Martin Bryant carried his duffel bag full of guns into the cafe, bought a juice and a can of fruit, and then sat down at a table outside, where he ate and ruminated on what he was about to do. But Martin couldn't help but be an irritating person one last time. He began making strange comments to the people around him, saying to no one in particular how...

bad the parking situation was at the site, remarking on the fact that there was, boy, there sure are a lot of wasps around today. He met white Anglo-Saxon Protestants, not like the actual wasps, but no one around him knew that that's what he meant. They thought he meant actual wasps. They're like, I don't see any wasps around. Okay. The concept of wasps was around for like.

Three years to the 90s. It's like one of those things. I remember a lot more in the 90s hearing the term wasps. Now we're run by wasps. I don't know if it's that, but it's funny because you just don't hear it. America's been run by wasps since its founding. There used to be lots of dirty jokes. I remember my dirty joke books. There was always a wasp chapter. Yeah. But once Martin finished his juice and fruit cup...

He walked back into the small, busy cafe and dropped his duffel bag on a... I'm about to start talking about the mass shooting. You're like... My smoothie's gone. There's nothing in either one of your fucking cups and you're just sitting there. I just want to do it. Slurp it on it. I keep forgetting from the Pyromania episode.

Can I continue? Yes. Well, once Martin finished his juice and fruit cup, he walked back into the small, busy cafe and dropped his duffel bag on a table. Without a word. He pulled out his AR-15 and began firing, punctuating the shots with his own laughter. The cafe patrons scattered, hiding behind tables and counters, because while Martin had imagined that someone would have tried to stop him immediately, the people were too terrified and bewildered.

at the situation, to do anything, apart from one member of the cafe staff. He threw a serving tray at Martin to try to distract him. But in moments like this... Most people freeze, contrary to what we might tell ourselves when we think of what we would do if we were in the same situation. As such, Martin killed his first cluster of victims at close range, pressing the barrel against the heads and necks of each person before pulling the trigger, killing 12 in just the first...

15 seconds of the massacre. But to show you how incredibly deadly these weapons are, while Martin fired 17 times in those first 15 seconds, the bullet fragments managed to wound a further 10 people, meaning those 17 shots had injured 22 people. So that's a total of 36 people? No, no, no, no. 22 people are injured entirely with 17 bullets. And 12 people dead. Yeah. Well, it's 22 people were hit.

And 12 people are dead. Either way, it's fucking insane. Sorry that I'm concentrating on the wrong part of this. No, it's fine. At this point, 12 are dead, 10 are wounded with 17 bullets. If you're not up against drones and Navy SEALs... There's just no fucking reason for you to have this style of weapon. Yeah.

So after his initial assault on the cafe, Bryant moved on to the gift shop, where more people were hiding under tables and behind shop displays. After killing the two women who worked there, as well as a tourist, Bryant shot a woman as she tried running outside. He then returned to the cafe. There, Martin callously shot a man in the butt, probably because he thought it was funny.

then opened fire on a group of five crowded near a locked door, killing three of them. The body count was now at 20, with 22 injured. But Martin wasn't yet done. After reloading and exiting the cafe, Bryant moved on to the tourist buses that were parked in front of the Broad Arrow, where he shot a bus driver in the back.

Bryant then began taking pot shots at people from a distance, killing another tourist and wounding two more, including the cafe's kitchen manager, who'd been trying to direct people away from the gunfire. Tragically, most people who were there that day said... that they thought that because of the site's history as a penal colony, the gunfire must have been a part of some historical reenactment.

So many people were unfortunately slow to move. And also, gunfire has a decidedly undramatic sound. Yeah, it's just pop, pop, pop. When you hear it. Like, it's really, you expect a movie version, I think. No, you expect. It's like a huge bang, a pow, like you expect what you hear in Die Hard. But it's like, it's literally claps. Yeah.

But because people were confused about what was happening, Martin had plenty of time to walk over to his yellow Volvo to change guns. After switching to his .308 semi-automatic rifle, he returned to the tourist buses and visited each of them one day. by one killing people both on board and outside as he entered and exited each bus

Finally, Bryant made his way back to his Volvo and pulled out of the parking lot. And while some say he was firing his gun as he drove off, others, who I'm more inclined to believe, said that Martin honked and waved as he almost casually pulled away.

That is just, there's just something about that. No, that is extraordinary. I mean, again, it's like you're saying, it is a cart. It's this incongruous... image because it is very cartoonish yeah because i want a joke but it's also extraordinarily tragic and insane and disturbing at the same time

Yeah. Like as he leaves, like, you know, because, you know, we sing and be prepared this whole time. Yeah. And it's all wrong. And like, they're all like good. They must just be. I mean, obviously there's Ford by it. Yeah. But again, Martin was nowhere near done.

As he drove towards the exit toll booth, he pulled alongside another car as that car stopped. Switching back to the AR-15, Bryant ordered the people inside the other car to get out and lay on the ground. This car was being driven by a mother and her two children, ages six and three. After Bryant killed the mother, the kids tried running. Bryant, however, pitiless as ever, chased them into a grove of trees nearby and killed both kids by firing into their heads, point blank.

Continuing again towards the toll booth, Bryant pulled up behind a gold BMW driven by a local who was taking three visiting friends to see the sights. Bryant murdered... all of them, one by one, then transferred most of his guns and ammo from the Volvo to the BMW. But Martin had such an arsenal that he still had plenty of firepower left.

even after leaving behind the unused shotgun and 400 rounds of ammo. He spent something like 150 grand. Like, it was some wild amount of money. Especially back then. Oh, yeah. In Australia, buddy. Yeah. Incredibly, though, he didn't stop to murder the toll booth attendant that he got into a fight with earlier. The only person he actually argued with. You know why? It's because that guy won that fight. You know what? Actually, I messed up with you.

Now, Martin made his way towards the seascape bed and breakfast to make his final stand. But inspired by the kidnapping story we spoke of earlier, Martin still wanted to take a hostage. So before reaching seascape, Bryant swerved into a gas station. and jumped out of the stolen BMW with his AR-15 in hand. After approaching a Toyota Corolla, he ordered the passengers, a man named Glenn Pears and a woman named Zoe Hall, outside.

Glenn Pairs got out voluntarily, perhaps hoping to save his companion, but after Martin pushed Glenn into the trunk of the stolen BMW, he still shot and killed Zoe Hall.

And so, with the hostage in his trunk, Martin drove to Seascape, firing at other cars on the road along the way. Now, what happened next? tells you a lot about the friendliness of Australians. Because when Martin pulled up at Seascape with Glen Pears in the trunk, a car full of hopeful hunters pulled in behind him because they'd seen Martin with his gun and they were hoping...

to join him for some rabbit hunting. Jesus, he almost made friends. He literally could have had a whole group of friends. Martin, of course, opened fire on the car but thankfully only injured the driver. But thankfully only injured the driver.

And when another car filled with people stopped to see what the fuck was going on, Martin sprayed them with bullets as well. The second car drove off and stopped down the road, where they tried warning other drivers that there was a madman with a gun back that away. One stubborn couple, however, who seemed to have reservations at the Seascape B&B, ignored the warnings and drove past. We're on vacation. I'm sorry, but we're from Cleveland. We've come a long time.

way we're gonna go on vacation all right do you know where we're from it's spring i don't know maybe if they were if they were americans they might have been like a guy with a gun Fine. Let him see my gun. But when that couple pulled into the driveway, Martin shot at them as well and hit the driver. That driver finally heeded the warnings and sped away.

Now, after dragging his hostage inside the bed and breakfast, Martin handcuffed Glenn Pears to a stairwell that was in full view of the bedroom where Martin's first victims of the day, David and Sally Martin, were lying dead. Later, Martin told his lawyer that he thought that he'd be in less trouble if he had a hostage. I suppose because he thought he could use him as a bargaining chip. Again, it sounds like a movie idea. It sounds like he had an idea from watching movies about...

And he says criminals take hostages. That's what they do. But Martin also said in true Martin form that he mostly wanted a hostage so he'd have someone to. talked to while he waited for the police to come and get him, thereby forcing one more person into being his companion in the most aggressive way possible. People say I am a lot.

I have a lot of people call me an intense person. They say I come out with somebody with a lot of energy, but I'm going to let you all know. I let you go. Yeah. Eventually. Eventually. When I'm done. Now, Bryant set the stolen BMW on fire just for fun right before the cops showed up. But as soon as the authorities arrived, an extended 18-hour shootout began.

Glenn Pears, however, only lasted a few hours before Martin was done with him. For reasons unknown, Martin shot Pears in the head, making him the last victim of the Port Arthur Massacre. Cops, however, didn't know that Martin's hostage was dead, nor did they know how many hostages he had or even how many shooters there were at this point.

Bryant moved from room to room, firing at the cops from different windows, made it look like there was maybe three or four guys in there. So the police chose to hold their fire for fear they might accidentally kill an innocent person inside. Yeah, it's a bed and breakfast. There could be, who knows how many people are in there. Oh yeah, he could be a full house and he's got everybody at gunpoint.

But just after 7.30 a.m., after an all-night standoff, Martin fired 10 shots from an upstairs window just after smoke started pouring out. Perhaps finally growing bored with the situation, Martin had intentionally set the room on fire, which was the same room where he was storing all his ammunition. His bullets, therefore, began exploding, and within 20 minutes, the fire had spread throughout the upstairs region of the B&B. An hour later, Martin rushed out of the house unarmed and naked.

having stripped his clothes off after they'd caught fire. I mean, he's so used to that. Yeah. It's actually the third or fourth time he set himself on fire. So he knew what to do. Yeah. Yeah. He's just like, don't worry. I'll have this under control. He's like fully burning. Well, after falling to his knees, the police rushed Martin Bryant and handcuffed him, thus ending the deadliest mass shooting in Australian history.

And when police searched Martin's home, they found ammunition and guns hidden in every nook and cranny, stashed in cupboards, inside bags, above the stove, inside two pianos. He had two pianos filled with bullets. You see, that's what I can see. him having the coat with tails and the top hat just going like, it's time for my final performance. This one's called Bang Bang Goes the Trolley. Horrible song for the day.

He had thousands of rounds for each of his guns, in addition to scopes, cases, straps, and various bandoliers. To me, this shows that his girlfriend and his mother were either willfully ignorant of what was going on, or they were scared to...

death of Martin. Tellingly, Carlene later said that when she was watching the news of the Port Arthur massacre unfold, but before Martin was captured, she had a distinct feeling that her son was responsible. Carlene even called Martin's girlfriend Petra, who also said, yeah.

Sounds like Martin. Oh, there's a mass shooting? Yeah, that's my boyfriend. Yeah, it's his style. Yeah, it's one of those things about him. I always kind of figure, but you know, fixer uppers. I figured I could just put some time in.

But concerning Martin in custody, he refused to talk to anyone for a full two months after the massacre. In the meantime, though, police put together no less than 200 witnesses who were all ready to condemn Martin should he choose to plead not guilty. When Martin did finally talk, he was evasive and disrespectful, laughing his way through the interview. while sometimes talking in a sing-songy voice. Oh yeah, and he did stuff like they would say, you know...

you killed like this many people, like you should, you know, like this many. And he'd be like, that many? Wow. Oh, really? Did he not? And then like they were, they're just kind of baffled, like sitting there talking to him. But then his lawyer developed. what's this like? Well, before his lawyer even came, like the cops were asking him questions and he would say, it's like,

Or answer that, but I don't have my lawyer. I don't have me lawyer, me needs. Yeah, it just doesn't make, it's like not, it's a cartoon character. Again. It's so hard. I can't believe they didn't like beat the living fucking chair. That's like crazy, crazy restraint. Because they could have done it. You know what it is? Is that, yes, it's horrific. It's fucking nauseating. But...

You also are like, he's definitely mentally handicapped. So there's like a feeling when you're watching him do this and you're like, you know, obviously something's got to be done with this guy. Yeah. Like this guy is not. going anywhere else but a concrete square but he is not of sound mind and so it is it's kind of all over the place what do you do with him he's like an innocent looking old yeller is ass i mean you know that's just i said how they do it

over there. And we barely do it like that here. It's just crazy because I hate capital punishment, but it's like... The world is better without this man. Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Just the problem is that you just can't trust the state to make the right decision. No, I hate the state. So the state's wrong. The state is always like wrong sometimes. So you have to be careful. Now, Martin's first lawyer quit pretty quickly on moral grounds.

But it also seems like Martin Bryant was predictably an absolutely infuriating client on many levels. Despite a bevy of witnesses and hard evidence, Martin steadfastly denied that he was the perpetrator here, claiming that he had... even been to Port Arthur in years. Initially, when the inspector interrogating Martin described the people who were murdered, Martin faked shock, like, can't believe that happened. Me? But he then asked how many people died altogether.

obviously wanting more details about his crimes. Martin and the inspector went around in circles for... hours with martin admitting to some crimes but not others and sometimes the crimes that he would admit to were in the middle of the other crimes that he would say that he had nothing to do with for example he would cop to stealing the bmw and

kidnapping Glenn Pears, but then he would deny that he held Glenn hostage or that he burned down the Seascape B&B. He was just having fun with these people. Possibly, yeah. I think that he liked having people to talk to. He's extending this chaotic moment for as long as humanly possible. Absolutely. That is absolutely correct. Because again, they're all paying attention. This is all he's ever wanted.

have everybody look at him and ask him questions and want to know what he thinks and want to know what he does. He doesn't want it to be over. Yeah. The crimes in this town are probably like at worst shoplifting. Yeah. The inspector repeated to Martin over and over again that he was going to be charged with 35 murders and 23 attempted murders. But Martin, either facetiously or ignorantly, kept asking the inspector how many months.

not how many years these crimes would get him. But once Martin believed that the interviews were over, I suppose thinking it was safe to say whatever he wanted, Martin finally stated, quote, I'm sure you'll find the person who caused all of this. Me. Direct quote. That's exactly what he said. I'll be able to turn around there, right? That's pretty good, right? I'll do it. I'll do it again.

He then said that it was a pleasure talking with the inspector and he hoped that he would have many more people to talk to. They could have... like easily given him way more attempted murders you could give him attempted murder for every person who was just in the park that day yeah but then it's like they do things different they every because in america we don't do that in america sometimes we do depending on what

It's just everyone who was shot, usually. But if you're shooting a gun in a mall, anyone who's in the mall, as far as I'm concerned, that's attempted murder. I agree. I think you're right. Thank you.

Now, Martin's second lawyer, John Avery, said that he had some sympathy for Bryant upon meeting him because Martin was still bandaged from his burns and manacled to a wheelchair. That sympathy, however, soon evaporated because Martin was just as evaded. See, Martin, even after making his earlier admission, you'll find who did it, me.

he was still maintaining his innocence, floating one easily disproved alibi after another just to see if anything would stick. At one point, Bryant even tried claiming that he was out of the country altogether on the day of the massacre, all while his lawyer patiently explained that there were hundreds of witnesses ready to testify to the contrary.

But finally, lawyer John Avery told Martin that he wouldn't represent him if Martin continued to plead innocence. And eventually, Martin agreed. It still, however, took three extremely long and tedious meetings with... bryant totaling 20 hours before he finally admitted the truth to his lawyer his extraordinarily patient lawyer he just knew because they were trying to save the

200 people they were going to need to bring in as witnesses to the trial. And at first, Martin Bryant wanted the trial because he was so excited. He said this to his lawyer, I want them to pick me up. I want them to sit on the stand. I want them to point at me and tell them it's me. I want everyone to do it. Like, he wanted the bat.

pain he wanted to feel the pain of all of it yeah and watch them all cry and scream yeah and he wanted to have the entire thing recounted to him yes like over and over again over and over again yeah now he knew what he was doing okay at every point But even when John Avery thought he'd made a breakthrough with Martin,

Bryant began asking if he could plead guilty to the 35 murders, but not guilty to the 23 attempted murders because it seemed like he believed that he was in more trouble for injuring people than murdering them. But I think this is also another...

ploy. This is him trying to meet the witnesses. It's just him being a piece of shit. It's just annoying as fuck. He wanted to meet the witnesses. Yes, he wanted to meet the people that he shot. He wanted people to come in and say, that's the guy who shot me. Because that's the thing. He was mostly focused on how much

evidence was against him, and Avery soon came to the conclusion that Bryant was angling for a trial just so he could relive the massacre in gory detail in public. In the end, though, Bryant finally pled guilty but only after he giggled in open court while all the charges against him were read.

As far as where Martin Bryan is now, he was sentenced to 35 life sentences at Risden Prison Complex, nicknamed the Pink Palace, due to its unconventional pink cement walls and open plan cage design. I love an open plan. Very feng shui. Oh, wow. Like the, oh my God, again, fixer uppers. Yeah. Waco. Just like it. Well, most of Martin's life is kept a secret.

But we do know that he's made at least six suicide attempts in the last 29 years, including hanging himself, overdosing on tranquilizers, slashing his wrists, and swallowing a whole tube of toothpaste. Are you okay? No. It'll make you sick. It'll make you really, like, my tummy. Like, my tummy's going to hurt. Yeah. But I don't think it'll kill you. Why not let him do it? Because it's not. I guess it's better torture to leave him in. Dude, he gets out easy. Yeah.

Martin also no longer has his natural athletic physique, as he apparently has a ravenous appetite for ice cream, he refuses to exercise, and regularly barters sex with other inmates for cans of Coca-Cola. Oh, that's like what happened with the clock and beauty of the beast. Oh, that's so nice. He gets to have sex in jail for. He loves it. This is a good spot for an ad break for Coca-Cola. Speaking of, you could get last spot 90. You don't need to suck dick for a can of Coke anymore.

You can just buy it at the store. The real thing. Hey, guess what? I don't suck dick. I'll take it. I'll take it in me bum. Yum, yum, yum. In me bum. Now do it, please. Coca-Cola. According to other inmates. Bryant is obsessed with reliving his crimes, and he desperately hoped that no one would break his quote-unquote world record for most people killed in a mass shooting spree. As I said last episode, that wish was unfortunately unfulfilled.

record has been broken 10 times over since 1996. At least we got that on him. Well, it's not all America. I think Bataclan's in there. And obviously Fuckface. Yeah, Fuckface, yeah.

Now, again, the Tasmanian government has tried to keep very little, if any, information about Martin Bryant from getting out. But all this has done is fuel. conspiracy theories because as we all know nothing fuels conspiracy theorists like a lack of information you know who's the one of the biggest ones too is his mother

Yeah. His mother is a part of the people that is leading the charge of he never did this. This is a smokescreen event that that the in order for them to take our guns away because the mother did that thing. Of course. Yeah. Go and hide. I guess you're already in Tasmania. She's all fucked up. Obviously, she's all fucked up. She was never great. No, she's a fucking bitch. Just like, you know, whatever. Yeah. I mean, multiple conspiracy theories have popped up over the years about Martin Bryant.

allegedly being innocent. Mostly these theories say that Bryant was just a patsy used to pass gun regulation because Bryant wasn't bright enough to pull off the murder of 35 people. But that... is exactly the fucking point. You don't need to be Hans Gruber when you've got a weapon that can fire 60 rounds a minute with the simple tug of a trigger.

Nevermind the fact that half of them have bump stocks where they're not getting any recoil. They're getting all this shit where it's like, it's easy. That's when that, when we have the 14 year old who almost shot the president, if he fucking good, like literally like it was easy for him to use it. Yeah.

A gun like an AR-15 is specifically made for its ease of use. That's exactly how shooters in Buffalo, Dayton, Pittsburgh, Parkland, and Uvalde were able to kill a combined 57 people using the same type of gun as Martin Bryant.

And according to a congressional report, when you include all mass shootings in America that involved any sort of assault rifle, that death toll raises to 298. I'll admit, big guns are fun. Yes. There are... There's pictures of me out there shooting an AR-15. No need to dig up to show hypocrisy here. I fully admit I've shot these guns. Yeah, I shot his AK-47. We had fun with it. It was fun to do. Yes. But I also don't believe that the jolt you get from firing a high-powered rifle...

is worth even the small bruise you get from the kickback, much less worth almost 300 deaths. No, it's so much better in video games where I actually get to kill. You know, like in games, I get to kill and kill and kill and kill and no one does anything. And then you have your life. I get it out of my system. And you get it out. And anyways, and for me, when I play video games, I usually don't play shooters. I like to beat people to death with me.

You like swords. I love swords. I prefer a sword. Slice. Give me a slice. That's what I like. I'm using a hammer right now. I usually play solitaire. I like being alone. My character, my Dwarf Fighter, Lord Narf, he is having a, he has a Warhammer. That's what I use. That's nice. I like the Warhammers in BG3. That's what I was thinking about Gallagher earlier with the kids' brains. Cause of the war hammer Cause you got hammer on the brain Yeah hammer brain I love hammers Yeah No

Guns in America are, of course, on a massively different scale than what they were in Australia in 1996. So don't think that I'm pretending like all this is simple. Oh, yeah. When Australia did their buyback program after Port Arthur, they confiscated 600... 43 000 automatic and semi-automatic weapons at a cost of 350 million by contrast 70 million of those same types of weapons exist in america today

643,070 million. That we know about. That we know about. Isn't it like bigger than like New York and... Los Angeles population put together. You put New York and Los Angeles population together, multiply it by three, and then I think you overtake the number of automatic and semi-automatic weapons. And that's the thing.

That is only automatic and semi-automatic weapons. That doesn't include handguns, rifles, doesn't include shotguns. That's only semi-automatic and automatic weapons. Why can't the Democrats, they need to harness the vote. They need the hardest to gun vote. The gun vote, yeah. Again, guns aren't sentient, nor are they people. What's the point of all of this then? Yeah, it's not Beauty and the Beast with guns.

I remember 10 years ago when I was working on some project where I had to learn about this stuff, I remember the fact 10 years ago, which I imagine is not this anymore, there were 80 guns per 100 people in America, man, woman, and child. I think today actually guns outnumber people.

in the United States. I wouldn't be surprised at all. Yeah, I think I heard that recently. I may be wrong on that, but the fact that it wouldn't surprise us and that it's believable. The fact that if it was still 88, that's still a lot. It's still a lot. Yeah. And if my math is correct, you know, if we were to do the same buyback program in America that we that Australia did back in 1996 conversion rate inflation, it would cost somewhere around 50.

billion dollars to get rid of all of them and that's even if people are willing to do it which they aren't so i don't know what the solution is here if there even is one But one thing I do know is that when we go to Australia, that feeling that I carry around as an American every time I go out in public, that I can be shot at any second by a stranger.

That feeling goes away. Yep. And that's all because the people of Australia had the courage to do what needed to be done almost 30 years ago. Not just Australia. New Zealand. britain we've talked about it today it's very it was simple back then now

It's fucking impossible. It's very, very difficult to pull it back. It is deeply embedded in the American character. We are a group of people that view our individuality as the most important tenet of our society. We are part of that, they believe, is that it should be...

just think it's funny because I think it's the same people that are angry about the people who exist as like trans people or they're just as angry about those people existing and this idea that the government would come and tell them what to do with their guns is this ultimate sin, even though they're very, very excited for the same people are very excited for the government to tell large chunks of our society what to do. Anyway, they really love this.

thought process fascism that we're in right now, like total thought control. But as soon as it's something they don't like, they're willing to murder anybody. Of course. I mean, it all comes back to fear. It's really not talked about enough how skittish the American people are. And how very fearful the American public is. If you buy a gun like that, you're obviously a scaredy pants. You're very scared that you can't fight.

and you can't protect yourself on a basic level? Well, it's not just that. It's also an extreme paranoia. It's the idea that they're stuck in some sort of action movie where, you know, there's... It's all going to come to them. It's all going to come to them. and they're going to defend their home from some sort of invader or attacker, or they think it's going to be like fucking Red Dawn one day, where an army of trans people are going to come to take their kids away and force them.

them to go to drag shows and they can use a fucking ar-15 to fight them all off when in reality most of these people just end up shooting their wives in the fucking head by accident and the same group of people voted for the same evangelical branch of the government that is currently opening up

the doors. They are part of the evangelical rundown of the world involves China and Russia invading American soil. So that is a part of what, and they have been opening back doors to get them to come here because that's going to bring their precious Jesus Christ.

back and that's the whole thing is that they all of this is death and destruction and then also guess what guys your guns are not going to do anything when you're fucking sniped by a 19 year old from Quantico shooting you from the fucking at the lower base of the atmosphere you're fucked it doesn't matter if they want to do it we're fucked i i that i i that argument actually i don't go i can fight against because uh america couldn't take down vietnam

Yeah, what are we going to do? But that's what I mean, is that like guerrilla warfare and asymmetrical warfare is extraordinarily difficult to defend against. So if there was some sort of like second civil war in America and. We had guerrilla fighting. It would be extraordinarily ugly. It would go on forever and it would be incredibly deadly. But that's what they want because it gives them purpose because most of them are living around addicted to various opioids with no way of getting out of...

wherever they're at. Also, as someone who doesn't want these guns in society, myself, I'm talking about, no one's coming to take your fucking guns. They're not coming, guys! It's not happening! It didn't happen with Obama! It's not even an option!

No. Yeah, it's not an option. We're not going to sit there and tell cops that they got to go door to door and take guns because that would be a fucking disaster. Yeah. And also the cops don't want to give up their guns either. Yeah. I think that, again, the most important lesson here is that.

every gun is precious and we have to remember it's the circle of life and it moves us all I was talking to Marcus about this the other day I think like the only like rational loose plan to get rid of guns in america that i can come up with over years it's not a bad plan is no new assault rifles starting whenever. No new assault rifles. And then when you die, you can't will your gun to someone else. So when you die, that gun has to be turned in and taken down. And then that...

which will never happen, would take over 100 years. But no one again has asked the gun. What it wants. And I think that's also the biggest problem here is, again, we're forgetting one marginalized group. So you believe that gun rights means rights for the gun. Yes. What else would they be for? Because I'm an animist. Yeah. I see. That's what the soul series is about. You believe that everything has, every object has a soul. Yeah.

How's my metal water bottle sold? It's struggling with transitioning. Ah. Yeah. I wonder, what if guns went to war with corporations? What? actually they're both if they're both people well We can think about it. Thanks so much, everybody, for being here for our Martin Bryant series. If you want to see video editions of our podcast, go to patreon.com slash last podcast on the left. And while you're there, stick around every Tuesday at 6 p.m.

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October 11th, Oakland, California, October 25th, Cleveland, Ohio, November 29th, and Portland, Oregon, December 12th and 13th. I forgot we were going to Milwaukee. We are. I love Milwaukee. That would be fun. Yeah. And we can get some spotted cow. Yes. That's all I want. And check the Foreign Report. They have their own YouTube channel. Now go over and check out the Foreign Report. A reasonable take.

on unreasonable politics. Yeah, and actually I was on an episode of Foreign Report a few weeks ago and had a ton of fun. That was like during Signal Gate. You know, a million things have happened since then. But I'm going to be a guest on Foreign Report here in about...

two weeks, a week or two, so keep an eye on the Foreign Report YouTube page for when I reappear. I'm going to be on that show as a fair regular in the future. I just did an episode of Page 7. Had a fucking great time with MJ and Jackie.

Yeah, it's great to do. Yeah, I was over on page seven as well. Yeah, I was also on page seven. Check out all of our stuff. Go to lastpodcastonleft.com, get all that. Go to the LP on the left for all the socials. Henry, for your birthday, did you see what happened? Somebody mentioned our podcast to Jillian Anderson. I saw. Really? Yes. Like, is it on camera? Yes. On camera? Oh, yeah. I shared it. I had to share it. Someone mentioned last podcast on the left to Jillian Anderson. Congratulations.

Congratulations Slowly but surely We're getting I'm getting in there Oh yeah I'm getting to her Wow That's amazing All the thing I have to do now Is approach her First Second Second thing is to arrive As an illiterate Nazi youth. So that she can sexually educate me to read. Like that movie. The reader. That was Kate Winslet. Thank God you stopped me. Hail Satan. Hail Gillian Anderson. Yeah.