¶ Intro / Opening
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¶ Intro and Montauk Memories
There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. In prepping for today's episode, I was rethinking about the Montauk Project and how funny it was, the idea that Duncan Cameron had a focus. to keep the time tunnel open. Right? So anything, if he sneezed, if he farted in the middle of the thing, another Montag boy, gone. Yeah. Another Montag boy.
And I was just thinking about the idea of like, but it's also like in New York. So how do you avoid the den, den, den, den, den, den, den, den, den, den, den, from all of our neighbors? What are you talking about? You never dealt with that? Oh, with the reggaeton? He's just really bad. He's turning reggaeton into fucking Polish music. Yeah, you turn into Polish. No, reggaeton is... No, mine is the...
No, that's because you lived off a fresh pond. You turned into shitty polka. That's my family. That's my family lineage. And you can't come back to me today because today I'm in.
¶ Henry Takes the Lead
charge that he is welcome to last podcast on the left ladies and gentlemen my name is marcus parks and today i'm handing the reins over once again i've handed him over to ed larson in the past and he's knocked it out of the fucking park but today i'm handing the reins over to Mr. Henry Zebrowski. My goal is infield home run.
My goal is one of those bunts that confuses everyone. That people keep missing the first baseman, and then they miss the second baseman, and he just keeps going. That's the idea, and that the man somehow has been allowed by other teammates to score. I got a feeling you're going to be called out at home. I always am. Of course, we have the skeptical Ed Larson here. Hey, how you doing? I am ready to learn whatever Henry throws at me, but I am.
A little upset that you feel like you couldn't hold your concentration during a fart. Farts don't faze me. Oh, no. I'm talking about Duncan Cameron. I'm talking about turtlenecked Long Island psychic. I think that man doesn't even know he farts. No. Yeah. Another secret admission. All it is is just his fuel. That's his psychic fuel coming out the back end. So today I wanted to cover something short and sweet for my...
Very first lead episode. Just like you. No, man, I'm short and sour. He's sour tasting. It's like a pickle you left on the floor. Yeah, all covered in shit and cum and ass. And we. But that's just, again, that's my judgment on me. And I'm better than this. Yes. But today I wanted to do something, a micro topic that we could cover very easily because I don't want to go too far into the lore. I don't want to ruin people's weeks. Right. We just did that the last two weeks. That's great.
¶ Introducing the Black Knight Satellite
It's amazing how much you can learn and also not learn in a short period of time. Okay. Now, today's episode, we are covering the Black Knight satellite, which is, you know, it's huge. The Martin Lawrence vehicle? Yes. Yes. It is. The Black Knight sideline is actually, it's Black Knight 2. It's featuring Dave Matthews. From the Dave Matthews band. Playing a white woman. Yeah, the song Satellite. Satellite. Gina! Dude, Satellite's a great song to get finger banged to if you haven't done it yet.
Right? Like night swimming. Satellite, night swimming, both great songs to get finger banged to by some guy you'll never know again. See, I thought you were saying go night swimming, get finger banged to satellite. I don't know what night swimming is. Yeah, I don't either. Night swimming. It's quiet now. That's not a finger bang song. That's a finger massage song. No. It's like a slow insert. You've never done a slow dip?
That's what I call it. A slow dip. Oh, okay. Yeah, I was going to say, because when you say finger bang, you know, that's like... Yeah, I'm fucking digging tunnels. No matter what I'm doing, I'm doing it romantic. Oh, yeah. And that's the difference between us, isn't it? Well, the word bang, there's no romance in bang. Sometimes she gets squared up. For me, if it's finger banging, you're definitely listening to New Metal. You're disturbed. You're Papa Roach. Side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com.
what is your soundtrack when you're finger banging? But today's topic is very interesting. There's a lot of ins and outs, mostly ins. But tonight we're going to decide and we're going to, because it's up to the audience. Yeah. Right? It's not up to us what's real and what's not real.
Right? Because I refuse to do that for you. I won't do that for you because guess what? You're a fucking adult, even if you're a child. Because if you're listening to this, you should be an adult. But if you're a child listening to this, now you're an adult. Go out there, buy a pack of cigarettes.
Get into the workforce. Honestly, looking for the 10-year-old to start working. I mean, Enzo is definitely listening. He's an 11-year-old that came to my show in Panama City. He definitely listens. He drove himself. He drove himself. He lives by himself. Enzo, a dude. Honestly, come work for us. Today's is all about objects in the sky. You know I like my shapes. Some shapes are more distinct than others.
You have the jellyfish, which I love. Saucer shapes. Everybody likes to think about cookies and milk. Saucers wobbling on the ground. Named by Kenneth Arnold in the 1940s because of the way they moved on top of the water. He said it was like a saucer on the water.
Okay. Kenneth Arnold kind of kicked off the whole flying saucer phenomenon right before Roswell. He was a pilot that saw a bunch of shit in the sky, a lot of flying saucers in the sky. And that was back when things were still sort of taken seriously.
and they're like, oh, fuck, we don't know what the hell this is. And they wiggle like this. Sometimes they're S-shaped. Sometimes they're pogo-shaped. Sometimes they're shaped like orbs, and sometimes they're shaped like your mama's panties. Triangle. Exactly. Very large coverage. The Black Knight satellite is something distinctly different. It looks solid. Scary. Looks like a Batman vehicle.
¶ Theory: Ancient Alien Probe
Right in the sky. That's what's awesome about it. Now, what is the Black Knight satellite, you ask? Good thing you asked. 13,000 years ago. An advanced alien civilization left a probe in Earth's orbit to keep an eye on the social hairless apes that had recently evolved into an organized group capable of molding the environment to their will. So this is like pre-NOAA. Definitely.
That probe. Ed, in the terms that we're about to head into, we call it antediluvian. Thank you. Before the flood. Before I got wet. Now the probe, this probe could record events and communicate updates to the booties constellation. Are you sure that's how it's pronounced? Buttes! It's either booties or buttes. 103 million light years away. And that probe could very well be the Black Knight satellite. Or it's a blanket. Could be either one. 50-50.
that's what i think i think the odds are straight down the middle now what kind of blanket black No, this story is... Space blanket. Space blanket. But it's not made out of, like, linen. No, no, no, no. It's a blanket in the most broad of terms. It's a fire retardant blanket. Oh, you're just trying to say the word. It is a retardant based blanket made from retardant and used to be a retardant.
¶ Modern Discovery: The 1998 Photo
Now, there are some people that don't know what this, the reason why it's floating up in the sky, it's like, and it's, it's very sick. So this was seen at first by the modern audience in 1998. Now this is viewed as a piece of space junk. At first, when this came out, there was this picture. It's labeled STS 088-724-66 in the NASA archives.
If you look at it, it's cool looking. It's this picture of here. They kind of added like a blur to it to make it look more UFO-y. But if you actually look at the picture, it's pretty fucking dope because it looks like this weird, mysterious speck right above our. pale blue dot. And you could see why when people first saw it, when it was published in 1998, everyone was like, what the fuck? There's something in the sky.
Right? And in 1998, America was very much into X-Files. Oh, yeah. You saw the gray alien head. Independence Day is only three years old. Yeah. Aliens are everywhere. People are primed to believe in the late 90s, back when we still have.
What do you call it? Hope. Yeah, faith. And this is because it... seemed interesting this is one of those things why ufos were the gasoline behind the internet because people were like all the og boards most of them were you follow gports so when 1998 when this hit the internet
It was like deepened in the conspiracy realm. And there were several other pictures of it, if you believe people that have made the Black Knight satellite their entire lives. Now, the reason why it was so interesting was because it corroborated with these old... ideas of people seeing things in the sky and getting messages from things in the sky over a long time ago. Now, the first thing was seen...
¶ Early Satellite Discoveries (1950s)
In 1953, Dr. Lincoln LaPaz of the University of New Mexico discovered an unknown satellite orbiting Earth. La Paz reported discovery to the U.S. Department of Defense, who contacted Dr. Clyde Tombaugh. Now, it's important to know. Now, Dr. Clyde Tombaugh, big guy in space industry. He's Pluto's agent.
He discovered Pluto. Okay. So Pluto obviously had put on a, I believe it was a bringer show and did show like he kind of went there because that's big. You guys don't know in the space entertainment industry, what a planet has to do is. first of all, be willing to do nudity, and then you have to put on, obviously, dramatic monologue, comedic monologue, dance, song. Yeah. And she did all of it. Pluto's a woman. Oh, okay. Yep.
Pluto's a fucking woman. First of all, fuck you. Yep. Yeah. Pluto's a lady. And that's Dr. Clyde right there. Dr. Clyde had the wherewithal. When he saw Pluto's huge debts, he knew Pluto was going to make it real far in the solar system. But Pluto was a planet, and then they took its rights away as a planet and then gave them back. Exactly. It's re-a-planet again. No, it's not. Oh, it's not? It is not a planet. It's not a planet. Absolutely not. So it's my very energetic mother gave us nine.
Yep, exactly. What? Don't know. Don't know. All we know is that Pluto is not good enough anymore. It's been cut. Really? But Dr. Clyde, he knew, Dr. Clyde was the first person they called, right? Because again, who knows the space industry better than him? Ain't nobody. Right? Except for Dr. Jupiter. Tombaugh confirmed the existence of the unknown satellite. But his findings were never officially released to the public. Too intense for everyone.
¶ Government Cover-Up Begins
And it was like the late 50s. Yes, this was in the mid-50s. The Army Office of Ordnance Research investigated the claims of La Paz and Tambac but declared the unknown satellites, quote-unquote, did not exist. And that's the beginning of the government cover-up.
¶ Attempting Radio Contact
It's November of 1954 in Chicago. Radio DJ Jim Mills and his guest, ufologist John Otto, they attempted. to then contact these rumored, unidentified satellites orbiting the Earth, believing that they could get a response. Is your refrigerator running? Yes. No, no, no, you bastard. Mills and Otto, they...
He sent a message to space, and this is what they sent. This is Jim Mills. I invite you and those in flying discs listening to stand by for a message from the friendly people of Earth. We desire to communicate with you. We will hold a 15-second period of silence for you to cut in and speak to us through the transmitter. At 11.25 p.m., Mills shut off the microphones in the studio for 15 seconds. You want to hold for 15 seconds to see how long that is?
Extremely long time to have dead air. Right? Extremely long. Yeah, you would not know. You would not know. And when Mills and Otto came back on the air, the switchboard lit up with calls from listeners all saying that they had heard the aliens reply.
¶ The Mysterious Sleigh Bells Reply
In what way would you guess, Eddie? I guess telepathically. No, sleigh bells. Oh, jingling. They said it sounded somewhat like a version of Jingle Bells. The song or Bells Jingling? Bells Jingling. Well, I read both. I read that it was Sleigh Bells, but I also read...
It may have been erroneously reported that it was a version of Jingle Bells. I am getting corrected in my own episode. Jingle Bells. Jingle Bells. Jingle Bells. Jingle all the way. Jingle all the way. Jingle all the way. I'm definitely a fond... of the dog version. Oh, my God, there's corgis on the moon. It's a fascinating story behind that. It actually is a very fast. But the whole story behind the barking dogs, it's like early sampling. It's incredible stuff.
Fascinating. It's the real, what we're really going to get into today. This is turning into a no dogs in space. It's slowly but surely getting pulled to the side. So, you know, with people, one of the two of the people that called. To say, hey, we heard the jingle bells? The original Doubleman twins.
Oh, both of them called? Yeah, because they actually survived the experiments of Mengele, which I thought was amazing. I guess that's why they got chosen, is that he would put, you know, obviously, he'd slice them in half and then have one eat spirit. and have the other eat berry and see if the one could taste the other in their asshole. And also, they were just regular sisters, Marie and Mildred Meyer, who had recorded the alien message, apparently. The story brought the attention.
of the CIA's Office of Scientific Investigations, who interviewed the Meyer sisters and confiscated their recording. Later, the CIA claimed the recording was just Morse code from a nearby radio outpost. and destroy the evidence. What about the sleigh bells, though? Gone. What was in the Morse code message?
Something about how, oh, you better not be Jewish or Santa's not coming to your house. What is it? The CIA Office of Science Investigation? Yes, Scientific Investigations. I'd never heard of that. This is another one of those, like... if we were to open the top of any one of these intelligence offices, they always have like mini groups. Think about what all SAP was, what a tip was all of these things with inside. That's how they.
keep you from understanding what all the other different parts are doing. Yeah, because ATIP's a part of the NSA, right? No, technically it's Pentagon. So they're DOD. DOD, okay. So DOD's got its whole old realm of shit. The NSA's got its whole realm of shit. He's got a whole realm of shit. Each one, again, some of the best co-workers I've ever had. Truly some of the most bright, fair, and diverse group of people. I hear.
¶ Sputnik, Space Dogs, and Laika
Now, this next one is where you could see. So in 1957, the Soviet Union launched Earth's first official satellite. This is just three years later. Sputnik. And followed up with Sputnik 2, which was honestly great. A lot more nudity. I went the first, and then right behind it, trailing behind Spock Mc2, was Laker.
the dog the dog yeah so like yeah and they they swore they totally believed and they said that they thought that that laca they did a whole thing about how that's where the barking was coming from yes holy shit she can sing you know what that is though in dog that was please help me oh my god help me i'm burning up inside of this capsule no i i thought
Sputnik was Russian. It is. Oh, I thought you just said it was American. No, we're watching. So these went up in the sky. So this is like the first man-made satellite. to go into space. These are the first satellites that we put up into space. Yes, the humans. Not discounting the possible Black Knight satellite that might have been there for the last 13,000 years. Came from somebody else! It could just be like a fucked up rock. Hey! But maybe that fucked up rock used to have a life.
of its own so yeah they say though like they said they said laco lived up there for 10 days definitely didn't live more than five hours yeah we know that but but the fact that it lived at all showed that something could live in space so good work laca yeah And I think they send up, what, 70 some odd dogs in all. Oh, yeah. 71 more dogs. Yeah.
¶ Pets in Extreme Sports
But only 17 died, according to the Soviet Union. You know, people always complain when people put their dog on a hang glider or take it scuba diving. It's not worse than this. I don't think that's good either. I don't like it when people... Why do people take their pets to extreme sports? I mean, if they're chill, sure.
If they're not chill, don't do it. What do you mean if they're chill? Like that it's fine with being deployed into the sky? I saw this golden retriever paragliding the other day and I was like, that dog's happy as fuck. It's not happy. It's frightened. It doesn't know what to do. There's this bulldog that skateboards.
He loves it. That's different. That's cute as hell, and that's ground-based. But it's still extreme sports. But you don't... But you can't put... I can't put Georgie on a hang glider. Georgie couldn't handle it. Can you imagine throwing... Carmy into a hot air balloon basket. She couldn't handle it. Carmy's not made for it. No, no dog is. Golden Retrievers. Really cool, calm Golden Retrievers. The only one that ever could have done it was Air Bud and he's dead. It's in his name.
He died. But I'm saying he died in the sky. Yeah. Okay. I believe he died at the hands of his owners.
¶ Audible and Squarespace Ads
I think it was CTE from being a receiver. Yeah, he killed his mommy and daddy with his weight machine. I didn't think about it. They never did give that dog a helmet. No, no, no, no, no. of the hard drugs because that's the thing. Everyone wants to meet Air Bud, but no one wants to be Air Bud. God, the years of Air Bud and Lawrence Taylor together. My God. Give me some of that cortisone shit. Yeah, come on. Come on. You know I'm good for it.
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All right? You got to get in there. You got to get into your brain. You have to observe your brain yourself because if not, eventually they're going to be doing it with a lobotomous knife. Okay? That's what your family's going to make you do. So, you're going to want to get into therapy. Plus, switch therapists at any time.
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¶ More Sputnik Observations
I hate having the outline. When Sputnik and Sputnik 2 were in orbit, many scientists observed these artificial satellites. People were now looking at the sky for the first time en masse quite a bit. and with a paranoid view. Dr. Luis Corralos of the Communications Ministry in Venezuela spotted Sputnik 2 over Caracas, and Corralos saw a second unknown satellite. shadowing Sputnik 2. Now people are starting to see weird stuff in the sky.
¶ SETI and Project Ozma
In the late 1950s to early 1960s, more and more scientists started studying space to find intelligent life. The Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence, the SETI program, was founded. Project OSMA was started by Frank Drake of Cornell University.
And a lot of guys, though, the problem is that we're working on our concepts of what an alien would use as technology. So we assume we use radio. They'll use radio. So they start... getting deep into using radio technology to kind of mine the space to see if they bounce something back.
¶ Long-Delayed Radio Echoes (LDEs)
Which is, again, it's one of those things that it does sort of happen. It does happen. There's these things called LDE's. In 1927, a Norwegian engineer by the name Vjørgen Hals. was doing some radio experiments and discovered signal echoes that appeared sometime between one and 40 seconds after an initial radio transmission was broadcast. So we're shooting shit out into space. Yeah, LDs, that's what long...
It's called long-delayed radio echoes. Long-delayed radio echoes, yeah. These are called long-delayed radio echoes. And when Hale first identified them, they have been happening on and off ever since. So we sent out a radio. signal and essentially like about a minute or even up to 40 seconds before like whatever it bounces back in this weird way we don't know what's bouncing off of a lot of they all were saying that it was bouncing off of hidden things in the sky could it bounce off the moon
¶ Connecting LDEs to Black Knight
Yes. It probably is bouncing off the moon. But we don't really know. But this is where some people believe the Black Knight satellite. comes in yeah we're still kind of unsure exactly what it is some people think it's like a like a geodesic thing or like it might be something we are bouncing off something on the earth there might be something about the magnetic field we don't understand but super thick part of the atmosphere you know
that is. Is it still there? Yes. And we've gotten up close to it. Have we ever tried to land on it? Well, now we're kind of... No. Oh, no. The Black Knight satellite... No, we can't find it. It's already basically it's already gone. If it was up there, it's gone. OK. And so now it's like or it's moved out of orbit. It's like, you know, that's kind of depending on what you believe about what it was. So it's probably more of a spaceship than a satellite. You're getting it.
He's starting to really start to understand it. But also, the key is that we're past a lot of this technology now. A lot of now, we're changing the way we're doing things. I think we're starting to understand that... Maybe super advanced race wouldn't necessarily work with radio signals. But until then...
At this point in the story, though, we're not there yet. Well, it's sort of the idea that nuts and bolts UFOs would take far too long to get here because the scientific principle is that nothing can travel faster than light. And traveling at light speed, it would still take years upon years upon years for anything to actually get here. So it's kind of stands to reason that if UFOs do exist, if it's nuts and bolts, UFOs coming from other aliens.
civilizations then they would have access to technology that we don't have access to they would have access to scientific knowledge that we uh haven't discovered just yet and maybe don't understand yeah so they probably wouldn't radio waves are probably far be like they're far be if they are nuts and bolts ufos they are far beyond radio waves yeah but at the time we don't know that we assume that radio waves is the far bleeding edge of technology that we're on so we're trying to kind of
talk to this thing back. We believe that we're talking to something and it might be sending something back. Yeah. Like signals have been around and the idea of signals being in the sky have actually been around for a very long time, technically before we even started doing these massive like space exploration projects. It starts technically.
¶ Nikola Tesla's Mysterious Signals
With Tesla. Nikola Tesla. Now, we're all the way back here. I keep dialing the story back. Yeah. Well, I mean, of course you have to. It's one layer after time because now it's like, okay, how does this connect to the Black Knight satellite? It's up there. Like, let's say at the very top of this, this is some object that is sitting in our lower orbit that's just been there.
hanging out. 13,000 years. 13,000 years. First time we've ever noticed it. It could have been there before that. And it's also weird because when it was first starting, when people were noticing things in the sky, they said where most things... When they float around the planet Earth, satellites, man-made satellites, they work on the equator line. It wasn't until many, many years later that we can do what's called a polar version of the circlings. Yeah, that goes around the prime meridian.
Yeah, it goes up and over and over instead of around and around. I'm so fucking bad at the science. So bad at the science. The idea is that it normally goes around. Ed didn't even go to college and he's better at this than you. It just doesn't understand.
¶ Black Knight Satellite Capabilities
It's hard to graduate high school with a 2.0. It's all about what's real and what's not real. What's real and what's not real. I don't know. So, like... Let's just say the Black Knight satellite, this is the full rollout of what it could be. So let's say it's been monitoring Earth for thousands of years. It's in low Earth orbit. It can shift from low to medium Earth orbit, but none of our artificial satellites are necessarily capable of.
Right. So it means that it's controlling itself. If you look at it from the side right now, just seeing the picture of the Black Knight satellite that we have from 1998, it looks like this solid floaty thing. It looks sort of like a rock. Yeah.
¶ Watchers and Ancient Civilizations
Right, so this is what we're saying, like... It looks sort of like the obelisk from 2001. That's what John Keel was all wigged out about. According to John Keel, ufologist and paranormal researcher who wrote the Mothman prophecies, my boy. Yeah. Right, he also wrote a... great book that I ended up then buying and reading called Disneyland of the gods that has like a whole chapter on this. This is so he believes that something left something behind to talk.
to us or say hello to us as evidence of we came and visited your planet a long time ago one day you might have the technology to see the rock that we left to say hello and maybe that's as far as it goes Or is it signaling back? to some other big group of bad, scary, slash, just aloof aliens that we don't understand and might not necessarily know what our agendas are or care. It is intimidating looking. It's cool looking. Yeah, it doesn't look like a friendly alien.
I'll tell you that much. No, it doesn't. But maybe that's their view. But black is also slimming. Yeah. And it's kind of dope. You know, I like a matte black car when they do that. I think it's cool. I like a Batman mobile-looking car. Now, I don't want to throw you off, and if this does, just shoot me down, and we can move on. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Earth. All right? Four billion years old. Sure. Okay. Dinosaurs, 65 million.
So we could have had full on civilizations, not necessarily human, but other kind of creatures that could have lived on Earth at some point. You're getting into Graham Hancock territory. So this, if everything on Earth from that is like, you know. sunk it into the earth and turned back in the magma because of time magma yes this is sitting in space this could be something from an ancient civilization dude yeah
Yeah, fucker. Yeah, you fucking idiot. Yeah, that's what I'm fucking fucking talking about. All right? Those species of aliens might be called the Watchers. Yeah. Right? And they exist primarily in another dimension beyond the bounds of the space-time continuum. Continuum. Like Galactus. Or The Watcher. But real.
The Watchers both seeded Earth with life and interfaced with humans to help steer them towards cultural advancement. This is where we get into those hazy things. I still think that humans...
¶ Alien Seeding Humanity Theory
on their own, could do quite a bit with their thought processes. But I don't really know why. I don't think they necessarily need alien help, but I don't think that necessarily doesn't mean that aliens didn't come and say hi. Yeah. So these guys came. They arrived on Earth. Let's say the Watchers arrived on Earth 40,000 years ago. They interbred with human women because of our fucking awesome, big, succulent butts.
Because you've seen aliens. Yeah. Horrible bodies. No butts. Can you imagine? Well, if you're talking about grays, yeah. If you're talking about tall whites, that's a different story. Still no butts. What if humans... I know we always say that humans could be aliens, but what if we're half alien, half Neanderthal? Eddie's got it right there. You're about to be on Joe Rogan's podcast. You're about to be in the cabinet for the U.S. government.
I'm just asking questions. Exactly. That's all we need you to do. That's all you got to do, man. I know some people say that asking questions can lead to misinformation, but I'm willing to give that a shot. All I know is I love meeting misinformation.
information, but you never want to meet her husband, Mr. Information, because he hates what you do with her. That's mansplaining. The Watchers, they have great knowledge of tool making, mathematics, agriculture, and laws. They gave it all to humanity.
¶ Evidence: Ancient Cave Paintings
You could tell because if you look on the Code of Hammurabi, Marcus, and if you go to the section that's in the Brinus Museum, you will see there's a UFO on it. And that's proof. Yes. The proof of the Watchers can be found as godly depictions of flying saucers on ancient cave paintings throughout the world. We've all been there. Oh, yeah. This is ancient aliens territory without a doubt. They're also known as the Cuckers. Okay. Because they watch from space.
¶ Star Trek and Godlike Aliens
In the original Star Trek episode, Who Mourns for Adonai? This is all from Joel, by the way. This little section here. This is a race of godlike aliens who claimed to visit Earth during ancient Greece and posed as gods so they could receive the power from being worshipped.
Do you know that one? I'm not a big TOS guy, original series guy. Yeah. Well, I'm Next Generation and Deep Space Nine. You ever watch the original series? Yeah, I've watched it here and there. Are you afraid of the unbridled masculinity of James T. Kirk? No, it's just mostly dull. Yeah. But he kissed those ladies. He did kiss those ladies, but you know.
You can see ladies getting kissed anywhere. Yeah. You can do it in your house. You can put up a mirror and kiss your wife. Yeah, I can kiss my wife anytime. Paint her green. That's also a possibility. I can also look up ladies getting painted green and getting kissed on the internet. Very easily. And then it goes further than that. Are you searching for that now? I just looked up green-skinned women kissing. Yeah? Yep.
It's pretty prevalent. I'm a next generation Deep Space Nine guy, and I love Strange New Worlds. So John Keel obviously was a huge proponent of this. He very much believed that there was like a seeding race of aliens. I still believe that that is a...
¶ Psychic Communication Theory
It's a very simplified version of what could be a very complex. biological component to our universe. Sure. I think that it's a lot more mysterious than that. I do believe, which is what John Kiel said, which he's entirely correct, if they were communicating with us over any volume of...
space-time, it probably would need to be psychic because of quantum entanglement. Which is what? When quantums... become well they call it spooky action at a distance it's this idea that one of the weird things in quantum mechanics or whatever is that ostensibly two particles can possibly be in the same place at the same time because of the intransient way that matter exists.
Essentially, I can't wait for the letters on this. The idea is that you can maybe, it's kind of, to woo-wee-woo it, you can match a frequency in your brain to some other frequency somewhere else in the universe, and then you would instantly be able to speak to it. each other, that's really just the most goopy way to say psychic communication. It's the idea that radio waves travel at the speed of light, but thought.
has no upper limit. Yeah. So thought can travel instantaneously, or so the theory goes. It's like right now, Hillary Clinton naked. Done. Did it. I just thought about it. Yeah, I saw it too. Warwick Davis defending Casey Anthony in jail. Too late. I already saw him naked. Maybe that's the only ability I have. Defending Casey Anthony in jail. So you. You mean the case? Appeals. Yeah, she got convicted in this fake reality. And Warrick Willow is her lawyer.
The way my brain put it was that Casey Anthony, after going to prison, smuggled Warwick Davis in to act as her personal bodyguard. And her pussy. Yeah. But no, I just mean paid off a guard. Oh, I thought you meant she moved him. No, him with a large sword acted as her personal bodyguard in a women's prison. That's the power of imagination. Isn't it?
¶ Returning to Nikola Tesla
Back to the Black Knight satellite. Speaking of the power of the imagination. To get deeper into the mystery of the Black Knight satellite. However, we really have to talk about Nikola Tesla. We're back here now. I was going to ask. Thank you. But I didn't want to ask. If he's moving past it, I'm just going to leave him. No, we're back. We're back. Thank you, Joel, for helping me with this outline. Nikola Tesla was one of the more important figures in science. Definitely.
Develop many things. The electromagnetic wave technology, the loud wireless communication that we all use today. Indeed. He also got majorly flamed by Edison. And I think largely Tesla was just a weirdo. And they gave him a lot of judgment. Yeah. He was kind of goth. He was too beautiful for this world. He was too precious. Edison was probably just like a better hang.
No, Edison was a fucking bastard, but he was an American genius. Just because you're a bastard doesn't mean you're a bad hang. He was an evil... I bet you... Yeah, you're right. Because if you're just hanging with him every once in a while, a bastard's actually kind of a lot of fun. It's only when you get close to him.
Yeah, if we're talking like a night out, yeah, I'm going Edison dinner, maybe Tesla. Yes. Like Tesla might be better for a nice dinner. Tesla's breakfast. Edison's after dinner drinks. Yeah. That's great. I like that. That's a good way to look at it. And P.T. Barnum's at the hotel room after all of the hotel lobby. Yeah. Waiting for you. So Tesla, who also worked in Colorado Springs, which I did not know.
He was in his laboratory in 1899. Working in the lab. Late morning nights. I wish I could do a whole song. I was working in the lab. He happened upon a mysterious radio signal. Test the police. An eerie sight. Whoa! Whoa! It's the wolf man doing the twist! That wolf man's now having sex with my father.
So he was watching his signals because he's bored and he's fucking a weirdo. And Tesla believed that there was a greeting of one planet to another from highly intelligent beings. Tesla intercepted. Dozens of strange radio signals, which he initially believed were from Mars, became to understand that they were from much further away.
This made him, this inspired him to develop technology capable of sending radio signals to other planets. And it sort of also ruined his entire career. Because he came out saying, big deal, I'm talking to aliens. They gave, they sent this triple message.
where it was knock knock knock and then he sent a four knock response and got nothing but they're all now there's a lot of talk about whether or not like he did pick up something weird and there have been people who've tried to recreate this same experiment and have gotten this weird chatter back, but they believe that it might come from literally weird space signals bouncing off of Jupiter. Could have been from a pulsar fluctuating or something.
Or it could have been from other radio technology experiments that were happening at the time. Because that is what's super interesting about it, is the fact that there wasn't all of these signals flying through the sky at the time. So when this popped up, it really felt like really fucking weird. Or it could have been...
Aliens. Black Knight Satellite. Now, how does something bounce off of Jupiter? I thought Jupiter was just gas. Jupiter's gas, but it's solid enough to get bounced off of. Gas can actually be bounced off of in space. Okay, cool. Oh, yeah. Very much so. Has to be. Now, this is what Tesla, all of this then comes together when Black Knight is then seen later on. And this idea of the there's something talking to another planetary race outside of it's like kind of all gets souped up.
So now, like, this is, all of this to be said is, like, this is why the Black Knight satellite started to... sort of accrue conspiracy theories around it. And once 1998, like that kind of set it all off because then unearthed was even more weird, legit information about what was going on in the sky and in space at the same time.
¶ 1960 Unknown Satellite Discovery
By the 1960s, the USA and the Soviet Union were competing in the space race. In January 1960, both U.S. and Soviet scientists discovered what they believed to be an unknown satellite in what they called the polar orbit of the Earth. Neither nation had been capable of launching a satellite into polar orbit. In addition, the polar satellite was believed to be 15 tons, and the heaviest satellite launch at the time was only 1.4 tons. There were many...
¶ Naming the Black Knight
research establishments that confirmed this thing so that was the first time we saw something in the sky we didn't know what it was right new york times newsweek life magazine reported on this heavy polar satellite calling it the black knight which is where we get the name.
There were countless reports from professional and amateur astronomers, radio operators about the Black Knight, strange radio signals, and these long-delayed echoes. People are all getting these weird things, watches and things in the sky. Partially is just the amount of now...
eyeballs looking at the sky especially since like the lead up to this having the whole space race go on in the united states all over the world like everybody's got space on the brain yeah and everyone's also super paranoid because of the cold war
because the Russians got the Sputnik into space first, and we don't know what Sputnik can do. We don't know what anything is, what the Russians are capable of. So people are staring up at the sky looking for shit, and they're very paranoid about what's up there. And Alien Entertainment. is at an all-time high. It's huge. It's huge. People love sci-fi. It is a part of the whole mob movement. But then they get to... So now we show back up. So Clyde Tombaugh, Pluto's agent, he just beat all of...
these allegations at the time for sexually assaulting Mercury. And when he got past all of that noise. Too hot to handle. He's the space lawyer and he's in control. So he believed Earth He himself believed that Earth had an unknown satellite similar to the moon, but much closer to Earth in low Earth orbit. Tom Bach observed the Black Knight was apparently, and he was able to, he said that it could adjust its orbit and move into medium Earth orbit.
which is what i used to do but now i am moving into extra large orbit back where you belong where i feel comfortable the picture we were seeing of the black knight satellite is that the only picture that exists there's a couple of other quote unquote there are other pictures that exist according to some conspiracy theorists that you when you watch their videos there's some that say like yeah that one got debunked
That main picture got debunked, but there are other pictures from other sources that they say exist of it. And it just depends on whether or not you believe that those pictures are real or not. And the Hubble can't see this thing? Hubble's got other things on its mind, dog. Hubble's doing other shit. No, it's because it's not looking at us. Hubble's looking out. Yeah.
Yeah, Hubble's looking out at the rest of the space trying to find shit out there. Oh, and the Hubble's in space. Yeah, Hubble's in space. You can't turn the Hubble around and have it look at Earth. No, dude, you can't fucking turn that shit around, dude, because honestly you just look like shit. You ever taken a selfie on the toilet? What about the...
observatory like the big fucking you know we have there's giant telescopes all over earth we haven't been able to spot this thing once it's quite like think about how big space is and how small this object might be We don't know. 15 tons. Yes. We could spot our own satellites. Because we know where they are. Yeah. It's very big. Very big. Things move very fast up there. February 1960, the U.S. government identified on radar a dark, tumbling object.
in Earth's orbit, and the Navy experienced what they said was another long-delayed radio echo. The Defense Department dismissed the object as space debris. Time magazine published an article about the unknown object speculating that it was the often rumored Black Knight satellite. So it got a lot of coverage. This whole story was pretty legit. It was speculated that the object was a Soviet spy satellite. Soviets are like, ain't it? us. Of course. Why would they say it was them?
¶ Debunking: Discoverer 5 Debris
But it was revealed. True. It was revealed in a follow-up Times article that the U.S. Navy program Dark Fence was on the lookout for all satellites, U.S., Soviet, or other, and the tumbling object was actually a piece broken off of a... US spy satellite, Discoverer 5. Nevertheless, the initial article had spawned a rabid curiosity.
for the Black Knight satellite. So it's like, this is true. There was stuff floating around out there. And we didn't know what it was. We didn't know what it was because we were trying to shoot stuff into space as much as we could, especially at the time, and some of it just didn't work. Some of it died as soon as we...
But it stays in orbit for a long time. Until it reenters the atmosphere and burns up. Oh, yes. Because this is very common. Space debris, which is being seen, misidentified by astronauts. Throughout the 1960s, many U.S. astronauts reported... seeing strange things in the Earth's orbit?
¶ Astronaut Sightings and Space Junk
Astronaut Gordon Cooper made several launches into the Earth's orbit from 1963 to 1966. And he saw multiple unknown objects. Faith 7, when he did that flight, Cooper saw an unknown object that was confirmed by a hundred other people. spotted it on radar. In 1966, Cooper was on another mission orbiting Earth when he saw a green glowing orb that was confirmed on radar by the Australian Muchea observation station. So people see shit out there all the time.
drives me crazy though you're out there you're an astronaut you're orbiting space you're looking for shit Take a fucking picture. I know like if we don't, we miss an alien because like, holy shit, that's an alien. You know, we don't take a picture. You're out, that's what you're doing. You're out there patrolling space. Take the fucking picture. But I think the problem is that the cameras are not as good as we wanted them to be.
And then when you went to go take the picture, it would look like how when, you know, you know, everybody is a professional photographer on July 4th, taking pictures of fireworks. And they're like, oh, that's awesome. Oh, good. And then later on, you have to go watch some guy's video.
of the fireworks because you're caught in an Uber pool with him and he's like, see these right here? This is the fireworks before I watched my daughter die. My daughter died of asthma in my arms. She died of fucking asthma. And then you're looking at the fireworks and it's just little fart blips on it. Yeah. An astronaut is telling me about his daughter died. Show me pictures. It's 1966. So, you know, he's not going to bring like a camera technology isn't.
quite there yet for sure but we're also like we're currently cruising out there all the fucking time you know katie perry and gail king got back this morning they should have stayed you should have left her up there except katie perry again she's still my choice. Yeah. Speaking of fireworks. there you go we're gonna get sued no also what cracks me up is i watch the morning show and like when when i was watching the morning show and i was like this show is fucking jump the shark is when they
sent Reese Witherspoon to space. And now it just happened. And now it just happened. I'm like, oh, so I'm actually a fucking idiot because I thought that was ridiculous. Nope. No, no, no. Again, I say just let him keep going. Send another blaster. Fly from your grave.
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¶ Astronaut Skepticism and Space Change
So all of this is very interesting. Eventually, Cooper would come out and he'd say that he didn't believe in the Black Knight satellite. He'd have to come and recant that he said he saw things. I think it's because guys got to him. He was fucking being a bitch about it. Yeah, that's what I said.
There's been plenty of astronauts over. Astronauts kind of go one of two ways. You know, they're like, yeah, I saw weird shit out there and I can't explain it. Or they say there's nothing out there that we can't explain. If I can't. That just means I didn't know what it was. It doesn't mean that it's necessarily an alien or anything like that. There's a lot more interesting things that could be in space and in the air that are not necessarily extraterrestrial life. Sure.
I think if an astronaut goes up there, sees some shit, and comes back and tells us, that makes him a bad astronaut. Yeah, keep it to yourself. All right? Because that's your one job. You're working for the government. You're up there finding secrets. I think it's because space changes you.
They always say it. Space changes you. Makes you taller. Makes you taller. But it also, it does. It gives you a, there's an aloofness. They say that there's a, I forgot one of the, I think it was Buzz Aldrin talked about the depression. Before he went up there, his name was Frank. Call me Buzz. Yeah, give me five beers. They call me Drunko. That's stupid. Dr. Ronald Bracewell of Stanford University eventually would publish...
¶ Communicating with Extraterrestrials
articles about the possibility of communicating between extraterrestrials and other star systems and the difficulty because of how big space is bracewell theorized that a satellite could send out radio signals to see if any were reflected back which could be the result of intelligent life intentionally reflecting the signal to indicate communication was possible. So imagine like it was just popped up there a long time ago as some observer thing. And whatever was attached to it's long dead.
But maybe that's one way to look at it, right? Maybe whatever purpose that thing served a long time ago, it is now over. And now we're hearing the echoes of it constantly bouncing around our ionosphere. Maybe that's something. Again, or is it a blanket? There's a lot of people that still think it's a blanket. There's a belief. Obviously, we don't know where these other alien races are and where they might be.
I still believe that it would be highly ignorant to say that there's not another physical alien race somewhere in the universe. I think ignorant, it's self-centered as well. Unless, of course, the universe is something that we don't know what it is either.
Or if reality is something that we barely understand. We don't even really understand what consciousness is and why we have consciousness and why we can't find other consciousness. Because we also don't know what is the prerogative, what is the evolutionary prerogative of consciousness. We don't know. There's also people that believe that maybe these radio signals and all this kind of way of talking about this is also super wrong. We're looking at it all wrong. Maybe it needs to be math.
¶ Math as Alien Communication
Dr. Hans Frudenthal in the Netherlands. He believed math was the most plausible form of communication between alien beings. And this is not a joke. He created a language of what you would just say beeps and bloops. So you go beep, beep, beep, beep, bloop, bleep, bloop. Close encounters. Yep. Yeah. But it's with beeps and bloops. And they can easily form simple mathematical formulas that would be understood by alien life and repeated back. Sounds like binary. Yeah. Yeah.
But it's beeps and bloops. It makes sense to me. Beep bloop, beep bloop, yeah. I think that typing out the words beep bloop... And typing that a lot into space. I feel like that's affecting some of the way we're taking this seriously or not. I think, yeah. Beep, bloop. If we could get a better, more scientific word than beep and bloop, we do. Goodbye. Just call it binary. That's what you'd say. Yeah. Binary audio cues. Thank you. Yeah. Beep bloops.
¶ Duncan Lunan's Theory
No, we call them BACs, B-A-C's. See, this was also, like, this was one way to deal with it, but the main thing that all the sunters around is a Scottish insane person by the name of Duncan Lunan. Yeah. Amateur astronomer. And anybody can be one. That's the best part. You just got to buy a telescope and get drunk. Not wear pants. Hey, if you're serious about it. Because there's Scotland, because they all wear skirts.
In the 1970s, Scottish amateur astronomer and science fiction writer Duncan Lunan collected all of the known strange radio signal events and long-delayed radio echo instances from history. So he said he put all of these things together. He did years and years of research. And he plotted out all the data onto a graph.
And he said a star map emerged. So this is what he believed was being pinged off of the Black Knight satellite. And he collected all of these things. And that's what the Black Knight satellite is doing.
¶ The Star Map Message
So this is the message. Luna found that the data points, they led to the star Epsilon Butis. And within the data, there was also a message. Start here! Our home is Upsilon Boots, which is a double star. We live on the sixth planet of seven, coming from the sun, which is the larger of the two. Our sixth planet is one moon. Our fourth planet? There's three. Our first and third planets each have one. Our probe is in the position of Arcturus.
None in our mops. Right? So in his world, the aliens are Scottish as well. Yes. Shockingly. Duncan Lunan believed the aliens had been on Earth thousands of years ago. and had left the Black Knight satellite behind with a message that could be translated once humankind had developed significant technology to do so. So the idea is that it's just there until we can say hi. And then when we say hi, guess what it said? Nothing. Well, we didn't say hi correctly. I guess.
Or not quick enough. So it might be dead. I mean, who knows? Lunan shared his findings with several of his peers at the British Interplanetary Society and the Vice President, Kenneth Gatlin, replicated Lunan's work.
¶ Lunan's Findings Replicated
and found the conclusions to be credible.
¶ Epsilon Boötis Distance and Speed
Sounds like a pier. Yep. Now, absolute beautis is 103 million light years from Earth. That's far. Yeah. Duncan Loon and star charts display the position of Epsilon Butis from 13,000 years ago, which places the arrival of the Black Knight satellite at exactly... 13,000 years ago and suggests the aliens of Epsilon Buttes are capable of traveling several times faster than the speed of light. And it's real fast!
¶ Black Knight and Atlantis
Coincidentally, between 11,000 and 13,000 years ago was also when the lost civilization... Of Atlantis fell. Oh. Antediluvian. It's got to be real. You know how it is. You get down there. People trying to dig it out. They made a nuclear bomb. They blew themselves up. Had crystals for hats. Where do they think Atlantis is? South.
¶ Reasons for Orbit Placement
Of? Us. Which is down. See, to Duncan Lunan and his friends, the placing of the Black Knight satellite in orbit made several kinds of sense. Several kinds of many different types of sense. For one, it would ensure the satellite would last for thousands, if not millions of years. Because in orbit, it would not be affected by weather and geological disturbances. There's nothing in space. You can just hang out there.
Except for all of our satellites. A lot of stuff. And two, by being in orbit, the only way it could be accessed was when humankind had advanced technologically and culturally enough to handle the possibility of alien life.
¶ Ancient Alien Contradiction
Because it knew we couldn't protect ourselves from ourselves. This seems to be a bit of a contradiction, though. What? Fuck you. How fucking dare you? Well, just come with me on this. I'm asking a question. How do the ancient alien theorists, I guess... How do they balance that idea of aliens have been visiting us for millennia and giving us all this technology and so on and so forth with we have to wait until we're culturally advanced enough to accept the possibility?
of alien life. It's a very good question. I still feel that these are people, as soon as I hear two words, pyramids of Giza and gablaki tepi, I shut it off.
¶ Gobekli Tepe Discussion
What's Ka-Blecky Techie? Ka-Blecky Techie is a... Well, it is interesting. It is a... much farther along advanced city than we thought humans would have developed. when we found it so we found this city underground it was very like well built out which is like you know it's one it's considered now like it might set the benchmark for when we started building organized cities earlier but that doesn't mean that it's
When you look at Gableki Tepe, it's still made out of the same stuff as everything else. Is it in Egypt also? No. It's in a place like that. Okay. But it's where other old stuff is. It's in Turkey. Okay. Yeah. Right next to mashed potatoes. My favorite town in Turkey. Yeah. Because it reminds you of your breasts. I don't want to be reminded of my breasts. I don't want to think about my tips. It's not about this. I like other tips. I like outsourced tips. My wife's. So it was possible. Maybe.
¶ Galactic Federation Bookmark Theory
The Epsilon Biotis aliens, they scour galaxies looking for life. And when they see something that's got life in it, they leave a Black Knight satellite behind as a way of collecting various species onto, into the Galactic Federation as like a bookmark, as a marker. I still think...
again all of this is there are still like maybe more interesting ways to explain this but just like they came and they made them they you know because I do believe it is a double standard Marcus yeah I don't believe in the ancient aliens concept no but i also don't think that that doesn't that doesn't necessarily mean that we have not been maybe visited by something oh yeah i mean i think we've been visited for you know
decades and centuries and millennia. Just what it even means. But I also believe that humans are perfectly capable of building anything that is on this earth. Oh, yes. Of course. Because I think that that's what happened. Yeah. Because you'd be surprised if you throw... If you have time, what it can do for you. Yeah. And no laws. No laws. But also, more of those we now know had artisans.
working on them and a lot of it was more that if you're an artisan your son can be an artisan whether he likes it or not and he's going to show up he's going to be trained in it and he's going to work on it whether he wants to or not because that's his job
¶ Lunan Recants, Audience Blame
So, after a few years, after Duncan Lunan proposed this Black Knight satellite theory, right, that this is a pinion point, like, all of this stuff is all coming together for him. He took it all back, believing the community had taken it too far. Because he couldn't get... It's the audience that ruined it. That's what he's saying. As it often happens. That's what happens, man. Like Tool.
It's the audience that ruined it. They are awful fans. Yeah, no offense. I know there's lots of listeners. No, like, this is, but it was too late. Now we're all ready. The public had been prepared for the possibility of alien life since the UFO sightings started in the 1940s.
Maybe now this is where the cover-up is really beginning. In 1973, science fiction author and ufologist John McVeigh analyzed the long-delayed echoes and concluded that they also thought, he thought they were from an alien probe orbiting the moon.
¶ John McVeigh and LDEs
which helped to explain why LDE's seem to appear and disappear at random when the probe was behind the moon. No LDE's. And when it was in front of the moon, LDE's come back because it was hiding behind the moon. That makes sense. Sound fragments.
So John McVeigh and Dr. Ronald Bracewell, they worked together to catalog LDEs and separately confirmed they held coordinates for a star map that led to Epsilon Butis. McVeigh wrote a book called Man and the Stars about their work, which allowed amateur ufologists to make more...
¶ LDEs, Stonehenge, and Giza
connections, including possibility that the LDE data lined up with Stonehenge and the Great Pyramid of Giza. And that's where I check out. As soon as they're all together hanging out, like Stonehenge and Great Pyramid of Giza, like, I do wish they could hang out. I think they'd like
¶ Building Stonehenge Explained
each other yeah yeah there's multiple stonehenges right there's henges there's henges yes but stonehenge is the capital that's the big one that's the best one that's the bane one that's the that's the ariana grande of that and we still have no idea how Yeah we do. How? Dragon.
They dragged them. Dragged them, not dragons. Not a dragon. What they would do is literally they would dig them up from the sacred area. They had a special rock that they wanted, and they legitimately would take these giant slats of wood. and they would lay them out in front of it, and they'd drag it along the slats, move the slats in front of the rock, drag it along the slats, move the slats in front of the rock.
It just took a very long time. It had to have taken like 100 years. Well, that's the one thing that I think modern humans can't wrap their heads around is that like when you don't have like... anything to do, you've got a lot of time to kill. And that's your purpose in life. Those are some smooth-ass rocks, too. They would have had to really smooth them out. And they were probably a lot smoother.
Then we see them now. They're not smoother now with the rain? I'd say they are probably more craggy now than they were. Cool. Have you ever been? No, I've always wanted to. It's like an hour and a half outside of London. I keep meaning to go, but now it's sad because I believe it's literally because of Ozzy Osbourne. You're not allowed to go near it. Did he piss on that too? I think he did something. Something like that happened. I forget what kept people from going. You can't go to Stonehenge.
You have to look at it from a hill. You can't walk around or anything like that. You have to look at it from a distance. So now, finally, this whole story brings me back to something that makes me extremely difficult, which is the story behind Philip K. Dick.
¶ Philip K. Dick and VALIS Revisited
and his visitations from an ancient alien source. Now, this is not going to be the entire Philip K. Dick Vallas series, because I have been reading the exegesis, and it is... Hard. Yes. It is very hard. He gets very scientific and he has gone insane.
So it's a lot of it. He's the world's smartest man. For those of you who don't know, Philip K. Dick, he wrote some of your- Blade Runner, right? He wrote the movie, yes, the book that- The robot book. Yeah. Flow My Tears, a policeman said. He also wrote- Man in the High Castle. Philip K. Dick, probably one of the top auteurs of the American century. Yeah. I love him. In 1974...
Philip K. Dick received a series of mystical and prophetic visions, downloaded into his brain, maybe, via the Black Knight satellite, which he called VALIS, the vast active living intelligence system. PK Day wrote them this download as it's an 800-page novel, this exegesis. PKD, by the way, that's Philip K. Dick. Yes. Yeah. PKD. Just so everyone knows. Not everyone knows your shorthand. I just said, I said Philip K. Dick. They can't follow along.
I don't want to tell you. Yeah. All right. Life comes at you fast. In Dallas, that's in Texas.
¶ VALIS Download and Visions
P.K.D. interpreted much of his visions downloaded by Ballas. So he saw a pink laser shoot into the center of his brain and it blew up his whole fucking it blew him up. Right. Like he started understanding time isn't real. He saw himself in Roman times under like there's an ancient Christian and it literally devastated him and destroyed his life. The.
He saw this thing. It was a whole Christian iconography he applied to it. The Black Knight satellite revealed to PKD that it had been placed in orbit by these three-eyed, crab-clawed beings from Formelhaut, a star in the... Pisces constellation. And that's where the Jesus connection comes from. It's this idea that the Pisces constellation, the fish, is what was the... spirit god inside of Jesus Christ came from. The alien that inhabited Jesus Christ came from the Pisces constellation. Okay.
That's why he gave away all the fish. Oh, he couldn't sell it. The fish is a big part of it. Yeah, big thing. The Jesus fish, all that stuff, yeah. So P.K.D. believed Soviet scientists were, they were going to try to reveal Vallis' secrets. He was obviously very, very paranoid. P.K.D. said... his download from Ballas began as visions of St. Elmo's fire, which is like a pink, he said it's like a plasma ray. He described it to an abstract of Vasily Kandinsky. You know what those are? No.
Kandinsky's, yeah. Yeah, look him up. Show him, Eddie. Show Eddie. What is it? Kandinsky. Kandinsky. Kandinsky. He's an artist. Oh, okay. I thought it was a thing. No. Nope. It's his stuff. Looks like this. That's what shot into his brain. Oh, okay, cool. All these blobs shot in his brain. I love that. We all do. That's all very cool. I wish it was real. I mean, it's art.
That's cool. So Peaky Day, he came to all, well, you call these aliens, watch how John Kill called them the Watchers, and many people have talked about the Watchers. He called them the Builders. He thought Valis was a benign entity and the protector that helped him in his remaining years. And one day after the download, Peaky...
¶ PKD, The Builders, and Valis's Help
Mickey D was singing along to the Beatles Strawberry Fields Forever, and Valis changed the lyrics in his brain into a warning. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Your son hasn't. Undiagnosed right inguinal hernia. The hydrocell has burst and it has descended into the squirrel sack. He requires immediate attention or will soon die.
¶ The Hernia Warning Analysis
That's the key. Or we'll soon die. And was that true? Yes. PKD rushes son to the hospital. And it was true. Furthermore, this is one of those weird things that was true. You don't know whether or not. Do we know more things in our unconscious than in our conscience? Like, are there things that we can know without woo-wee-woo stuff? But can you maybe be noticing things about your son that you are not?
consciously processing but somewhere back here you're processing and then all of a sudden it's like a eureka moment when the unconscious touches the conscious who knows yeah or is it a robot from space or simply following your gut exactly yeah yeah that's the idea like what is the gut what is the gut yeah well that's kind of what we're saying is like survival instincts but there are some people that really do believe and it was an ancient psychology and now now like this concept of like
¶ Internal Monologue and Consciousness
People, you'll still talk about this. I did not know there are people that are walking around, they don't have a voice in their head. Yeah. They just got nothing. Yeah, no internal monologue. No internal monologue. There are some people that still believe, like, and kind of idea of, like, where does the internal monologue come from? Who is that? Who do we talk to? Who is the observer? It's just thinking. But what is thinking? If you're talking, what is thinking, Eddie?
I mean, just rationalizing shit in your head, trying to figure out the problem. He needs to get more. I need him to have more generalized anxiety. So this is like, you really should read all of his books. So PKD. What if I just read one? Read what androids dream of electric sheep. You already know the story. It's very short. You would like it. You'd be surprised how strange PKD is if you actually read it. It's like not straight up and down.
sci-fi at all. It's very, very weird. Or The Man in the High Castle. It's got Nazis. Man in the High Castle is wonderful. It's an alternative history about if the Nazis won. I know. And let me guess. Let me tell you. Yeah, let me tell you. Guess what? What?
¶ PKD's Valis Series and Legacy
It's not good. Not good. Now, the most recent evidence of the Black Knight satellite... So for those of you that want to know, go read Radio Free Albemouth, The Divine Invasion, The Transmigration of Timothy Archer, and Valis. That is the Valis series. It all talks about, Valis is a very touching, scary book. about a man you're watching because essentially it's a hidden autobiography and you're watching Philip K. Dick wrestle with this thing of like, am I crazy?
Or is this real? And he's the smartest man in the world, and he is tortured by this. He's too creative for his own good. And he died of a brain aneurysm not too shortly after this. Yeah, I mean, there was, you know, he would sometimes...
Correct me if I'm wrong here, but I like he claimed that like Man in the High Castle was he actually traveled to like he could jump dimensions and he actually traveled to another dimension in which he saw the Nazis one and then came back and wrote the book. Yeah, he. did a whole like he believed in this emotional truth he started to really believe that every one of his books were from a real alternative
future. Sounds like he's the only guy who can remember his dreams. He really had lost his mind. He's just also great. Philip K. Dick is an amazing character. He was a big dude, too. He's a fucking huge man. Now... The most recent evidence of the Black Knight satellite is a photo. We now know it's from the ISS 1998. The NASA STS-88 mission had the space shuttle Endeavour transporting modules for construction of the ISS, and one of the astronauts snapped a photo.
Of the Black Knight satellite. So this is what I'm asking for. This is what it was. Yeah. That's what that picture was that you see. That's what that one, that exact picture is? Yes. Okay, cool. However, now we're getting to the bummer section. There are a number of skeptics who claim that the Black Knight satellite photo is actually just a photo of a blanket. Space trash. Officially, NASA says the object is space junk. Space junk number 025570.
And that actually burned up in the atmosphere a few days after the picture was taken. The thermal blankets were used to cover the trunnion pins on the modules and one happened to float into space. Allegedly. During spacewalk. astronaut commander Robert Cabana, who even reported saying, Jenny, one of them double-comers got away from you, my friend. So did a blanket go missing? Yeah. Oh, okay. So it's probably the blanket. Or...
NASA engineer James Oberg and cosmonaut Sergei Krikalov also claimed the Black Knight satellite photo is just a photo of a lost thermal blanket, which looks like an alien object because there's no gravity in space and something like a blanket will maintain its shape. If you look at, also, there's a bunch of AI breakdowns.
where they try to say, look, it's solid. Oh, you can see it, but it could maybe very well be a blanket. I don't know. I can see why people would think it's a blanket because of the ruffles and stuff. Oh, yes, because there's a lot of stuff. Most people believe the testimony from the astronauts saying that.
It's part of a cover-up, maybe. NASA removed the photo of the thermal blanket from their official website, leading to even more cover-up speculation. They dumped it in the trash. I mean, just keep it up there. No, but that's the thing. They have to go and make it extra mysterious by deleting it.
And it turns out there's, you know what? It's what's fucked up, though, which is true. There's a lot of trash in space. Tons of trash in space. There's a lot of trash. A lot of satellites don't even work anymore. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And some of it's left up there. Most of it burns up in the atmosphere. Some of it crashes into the ocean. In 2006, a spatula was lost during the space shuttle Discovery's mission to the International Space Station. In 2008, astronaut Heidi Steffenschninpiper...
Like a single spatula? A single spatula, yeah. Was lost? Oh, yeah. Sounds like someone did something they should have done and fucking hid that shit. That's my thing. I just throw that spatula. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's evidence. That's fun to do. This astronaut lost her grip on a tool bag during a spacewalk and was repairing jammed gear for a solar panel. The bag weighed 30 pounds and had $100,000 worth of space-ready tools. It could still be seen on radar.
Oh, really? Oh, yeah, which is pretty funny. Yeah, you snag that thing. Oh, yeah. Cool hundred grand. That's some good ass money, dude. Like I always think about that meteorite. That's I can't believe that movie wasn't made. That's going to crash somewhere. That's got like 12. It's like a meteorite made out of like 12 billion dollars worth of gold. Yeah.
We don't know where that is. In 2007, a 1,400-pound tank of ammonia was thrown overboard from the ISS because NASA said they needed to free up room on the shuttle's return trip to Earth. It was in orbit for a year. Before it burned up in the atmosphere. NASA developed urine recycling systems. They used to just dump their pee. Why not? I actually think I missed that. We're just shooting pee.
Did they shoot the feces as well? Yeah, of course. Why would you not shoot it into space? Because they think it's just gross. You can now recycle it. They now recycle the urine to drinkable water. pee pee water shoot in the space come on let's shoot in the space there's crystals out there little twinkly stars this is actually twinkle twinkle little star but this is actually truly interesting
2012. Classified documents were unsealed regarding U.S. spy satellite program Corona. Interesting name. Which operated from 1959 to 1972. The spy satellites would take photos over the Soviet Union. then dump the film back to Earth by parachute. There were at least 23 corona spy satellites in medium Earth orbit between 600 and 1,000 miles above Earth. So it is quite possible. that a lot of these unknown objects that were spotted during that time period were our own secret US spy satellites. Okay.
Yeah. I mean, that's one of the things about where we are today and like just as far as information disclosure goes and as far as belief goes is that there was so much shit in the cold during the Cold War. So much. secret shit going on oh yeah we didn't want the Russians to know about and the Russians doing so much secret shit that they didn't want us to know about that all of us were lying all the time about what everything was yeah so it really did just
erode the trust of the public. And then China started launching shit. Yeah, and they're not telling the truth either. And now we got like... fucking billionaires launching shit. So Lord knows what they got up there. Yeah. But I guess the point is that, you know, this stuff is where conspiracy
breeds because people do notice it. They do see it. Of course. And the government can't come out and say like, oh yeah, that's a spy satellite because we need to check out Rostov on Don, you know, every six weeks. So they lie about it and conspiracy breeds and that's where we are in the 21st century now.
Think about what we just dealt with, with the balloons. Yeah. The Chinese spy balloons. We had to deal with all of this where we had to make a big deal, but like, oh, I can't believe they're spying on us when we've been doing, we're watching them from space. Of course they're spying on us. We're all spying on each other all the time. Yes. Think about that. I mean, the drone flap was what?
Five months ago, no one's fucking talking about it anymore. It's already gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's over. It's because it probably was an AI piloted a drone program. Yeah, quite. Could be. But that's the thing. We didn't. No one told us what it was. No one told us. And it was just there.
It's gone, and now it's in the ether. That was five fucking months ago. That feels like a lifetime ago. I'm still thinking about it. I can't get a straight answer out of Henry anytime. I'm just used to being ignored, because mystery is important, Eddie. And sometimes it's all about answering the questions because not every question has an answer. Some questions are just there to...
Why was the airport shut down? That's a good question. It's very scary, Eddie. None of us will know. But the Black Knight satellite mystery remains. In March of 2017, the Daily Mail published an article that claimed, as reported by Secure Team 10 YouTube's channel, that the Black Knight satellite was shot down by the elite Illuminati. ufo hunters so good night black knight satellite and thank you for your service
So I think anything that makes people look to the sky is fun. And I think that, yes, obviously this can be very easily debunked and torn apart, but there's still something about the mystery of... it's why we do this it is as mysterious as the you know like the bottom of the ocean we don't know what's going on that's why we got all the Cthulhu stuff and Kraken and all that kind of stuff it's the same thing as up there and until one day we master space which we will never no
The mysteries will continue. I think that's great. I mean, I love knowing about it, but it does seem like a blanket now that we're really talking about it. It's probably a blanket. Look at it real hard. It's got a blanket. aspect to it yeah like when you zoom out it looks like a rock but yeah when you get in there but i do want to do i do want to one day have proper i want to do something where we make tesla look cool again
It's difficult. Well, that's impossible now. Yeah. Actually, it is impossible now. Yeah. That poor, poor... Like, it's just... Poor, sad man. That poor, sad... Still, his reputation and his name is just... shit on and shit on and shit on forever like it's not like forever run he's just like what he sees like what's happening now he's just like oh what the living fucking hell no what i thought we were gonna be talking to angels I thought he was talking to angels. So, you know, but.
I am right now. I'm talking to two angels. Eddie and Marcus, thank you for letting me lead this episode. Thank you for doing it. I want to thank Joel McKean, our head researcher. He helped me write this whole fucking thing. I needed it, obviously. And, you know, again, just helping.
people ask questions honestly i hope i get to a point where i learn about every single fucking alien thing that's coming and it's good that it's it feels good i'm glad we're doing this right before contact in the desert yes uh because we're going there and it's always good to know a little bit more so i can ask questions
whenever I'm talking to these people. Absolutely. It's very helpful. For those of you that are single out there, it helps you flirt. This is the kind of stuff you've got to flirt with at contact. I think that's advice for the ladies, not for the men. The men need... Can women arrive? Women should go to contact in the desert.
No, there was plenty of women in contact in the desert. They're all selling crystals, though. Staff. Yeah, staff. You need to get some more ladies in there. Come check it out. Patreon.com slash classpod. Guess what? And we're back from contact. We have so much extra footage there. You can pay to watch us yell and scream.
And pay to watch us live on Patreon Tuesdays at 6 p.m. It is our for last stream on the left. We have a lot of fucking fun. Yep. And you can watch us live on Patreon if you want the un... edited version of last stream on the left. What goes over to YouTube is not the entire show. So if you want to watch that thing live and get the entire thing and interact with us on the chat, go to patreon.com slash last podcast on the left. And if you want to enter.
with all the other clips and shit that we post. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at LP on the left. And if you want to interact with us using your... Go to lastpodcastontheleft.com to see which cities we're coming to. That's right. We are, next to what we're doing is going to be Toronto, but that's already sold out on May 3rd. It's already sold out. So make sure you, if you can't go to that, we got Atlanta.
june salt lake city what i my first time doing a big outdoor show i'm very excited for that it's gonna be in july we basically do one a month except for in august we're doing two we're doing durham and charlotte um and then we're gonna keep coming We got cities booked once a month for the whole rest of the year, twice a month. We got Oakland and we got Portland coming up in December. So go to lastpodcastontheleft.com to see which city near you that we're coming to. Also, invasive species.
is going to be real soon right i'm going straight from toronto right down to florida i'm going to do my second leg of this tour it's going to be amazing i got naples on the sixth with henry i'm going to be in fort lauderdale on the seventh and then on the eighth henry and i are
to be in orlando at the funny bone and then i'm doing that full weekend in key west which is going to be a fucking blast i don't know if people go to key west anymore i fucking love that place it could wash away at any moment yep so this might be your last time to go it's the only way
yes and then make sure you come see us in may at contact in the desert which is the last day of may and then the first two days of june that's gonna be a fucking blast um you love it's like a goddamn cruise ship i can't wait Oh, we're all talking about animals. Oh, yeah. Then come to Crime Wave at Sea slash last. We got a lot going on, don't we? This whole fucking year is booked. Solid. Thank you, Henry. This was so nice. Yes, thank you. I appreciate you taking time and doing it.
Because I feel like the alien stuff has been slept on lately. And it's such a major part of the show. And thank you for that. We're bringing it back. Yeah. I don't care what anybody says. With your goon shirt. How is your gooning going? Poor. I just go, man. I just go. It's more of an aspirational shirt than it is. It's to inspire others. Goon. Because I cannot. Goodbye. Hail Gooning. Hail Heen. And hail Philip K. Dick. Yeah, it's my boy. BKD. Fuck at it.
When it comes to preventing pregnancy, it's your choice how you take control of your body. And when it comes to a backup plan, there's Plan B One Step. Plan B is safe, effective emergency contraception you take within 72 hours after unprotected sex. Visit planb1step.com. to learn more. If you went on a road trip and you didn't stop for a Big Mac, or drop a crispy fry between the car seats, or use your McDonald's bag as a placemat, then that wasn't a road trip. It was just a really long drive.
McDonald's.