"Yes, Mama" (w/ Rosebud Baker)

Look, may Oh, I see you and look over there is that culture. Yes, lost culture ding Dong, lost culturist. This is a brand new space and I really had to orient myself.

This is it. It's very sunset Bulevard, those people out there in the Vard. Yeah, it's very I love that for you too. And Vanessa's character is auditioning for to be a QVC tvc host. You know what I just realized about you. They'd be so lucky to have you go to QVC. No, don't even why do you why you would?

No?

I said you could sell products on television live. It is a hard job and it is kind of too. It's like in cased in amber, that kind of television. You know, it's like time, like seeing Stacy Rush do it from the real House of the Potomac. M be a QVC legend. I go, this is so comforting. These women are selling some of the ugliest jeggings you've ever seen.

Juwel tone jegging that comes with a bracelet and it's like a christ bracelet. It's like, what I love about these jewel tone jeggings is I can feel confident and sexy while also staying a Christian woman. Yeah, and I'm a Christian woman while I also you get you know, I'm fun.

And that's one thing at home that I think a lot of people are thinking. And I know there's a lot of good Christians out there, is can I still be fun? Wow? Now these are flying off the shelves. We've we've already sold twelve these are these are really sellings.

And we only have fifteen. And so that's why I'm saying this is And that's how I know there's a lot of great Christians out there.

And this isn't a gang, but this is. And can I just say we were just doing it? You know we were You were doing it? No, you I was. I'm sorry? Am I blind it doing it? You were doing it? I like threw a penny in the fountain, you know what I mean? I didn't, I didn't fully.

You threw a rhymestone.

Wow, a jewel tone, a jewel ton ran so speaking, I mean writer performers then up legend by the way, like we're sitting here, we're just thrilled because this has been a long time been a long time coming. This is someone who has seen us bomb and gravel and just be among not bomb. We've we've bombed. I've never seen you bomb. I don't know if I don't know if when have we never seen you? True?

No, I truly I would not say that. I would honestly say I'm sure.

I had Union Hall sweats in front of you at some point while you were in the back, being like Union Hall sweats. Is that something we'd call it? It's a union Oh? I felt many Union Hall sweats. I guess I crushed at Union Hall every time.

You've never never has only felt the Union Hall shoulder shake one off stage killed them people.

I was bombing so hard. I turned around to the lady who's hanging on the wall, and I said she was Mary Todd Lincoln. But that's not who that lady is. But you know what I mean, you might as well be married to Miss Hall, Miss Hall.

And but listen, this voice that you're hearing, if you're listening to this at home, is one of our pals.

It's been a long time coming. The mother Load is the special. Honestly, it is funny every single second, which dare I say. You can't say even about stand up specials, most of them. This is not any piece of comedy, any piece of comedy like come see us at Union Hall ten years ago. You get a few chuckles in, they're going to chuckles and that's it. She's self directed it which we need to talk about love. That's fucking so fun, so cool of you. I need we need

You know, you know my tour date.

I know your date.

I don't know the dates. Well, it's up from I mean the cities into the cities. I think Cleveland is in there.

Cleveland's in there. I think by the time this comes out. But yeah, Cleveland from the future. Go see Yeah.

And you just really really feel shame about this because the fact is this is one of the greats. Please welcome into your ears, Rosebud Baker. I'm so excited when I saw you at SNL the other night, at the overwhelming joy I felt. And it wasn't just because Lady Gaga was in the building. It was because Rose the fuck it.

Every time I see you at SNL, I get like I get excited. And it's not just because somebody from outside of the.

Building is in the building.

Yeah, you know, sweats where you're like, oh my god, somebody somebody humanity.

Does you feel Have we talked about this? It feels a little bit both violatory and exhilarating when like people from the outside world like yeah, me yes.

And it's it's odd because obviously love my husband, hate bringing him to the party, really hate. I feel like I'm a babysitting. He doesn't operate with this is the problem. He doesn't operate with the same level of paranoia that I have to operate at. So I walk around after him just being like, what do you say to them?

Right to them? It's like knowing where the land mines are in the battle.

Yes, and He'll be like they were fine, and I'm like, yeah, but what face did they?

Right? I now just pictured Andy just walking into a battlefield and it was It made me laugh. He's a funny guy. Funny guy he is.

He's he is a Redwood.

Honestly, bts for people that that that we're not here for the conversation. Prior to us recording, I saw Redwood last night. The Dina Menzel Tree Musical. We're calling it Tree Dina.

Here's what I'll say. I loved watching her in the tree, and I loved how much joy she was feeling doing the musical. And that is where I will end. That's what people say to me every week after an SNL show. You, I like you so much, so much fun in this guy. And that's that's what a comedy show should be.

Yeah, that's what's important.

You bring us joy.

Yeah, and and and you're happy.

Yeah, you have no idea what I've been through. Yeah, But anyway, this special is so good.

Thank you, thank you for watching it. I truly whenever when I start already doing it, when I was like, Okay, I'm going to do a special about like becoming a mom and what that feels like, I was like, this feels a little bit like walking into an open grave because everybody, no one cares. No one cares. Whenever I bring up motherhood, I feel like I just was like, are you guys into rollerblading? Everybody just looks at me

It just feels like you the entire time.

It doesn't feel like this is my special on motherhood or becoming a mother. It's feels like this is Rosebud's special, right, And I love that.

Thank you.

It's it's great. You really are one of the best joke writers out there. No, I'm it's it's for real. I mean like it's just great to say people like actually put jokes in.

And a comedy piece period.

What feels and what's important to is that you're happy and you had fun.

You were having fun up and you're having fun up.

There was the choice to shoot I guess you shot it twice, yes, once eight months.

So I shot two separate hours, right. It was like I shot the first hour when I was eight months pregnant. I waited a year. I took the jokes from that hour and I kind of like built on them based on my experience after having had the baby, right, and then shot a second half of it a year after having the baby and combined the two into one special.

I love it.

It was really fun to do, honestly, I mean it was terrifying.

And crazy.

When I look back at it, I'm like, that was insane of me. Only somebody who's like living with the fear of being kicked out of the industry it would do something like this. No, truly, I like that is what I look at it, and I'm like that was what was motivating me. I was like, I have to keep working, you know, like like this is going to feed her, you know.

So, oh I hear you.

Yeah, So I was like I was working my ass off, But it was really when I look back at it, I'm like, it's so I do feel like and I feel like a loser saying it. I'm like, it does feel like it's so me, And so when I look at it, I'm like, I'm proud of it. It doesn't feel like something where I was trying to like impress, you know, middle aged men, which when I watch my first special, I'm like, Okay, I see what you were

And like you shouldn't even like rate yourself retroactively on the first special because we went through that phase. We're probably still going through that phase of like, I guess it should appeal to a general audience, which means inevitably like people that aren't like me exactly.

Yes, yes, let me sort of traffic in this thing that I don't necessarily believe in and also am not so that I can get across this thing that may.

Do better as a result. Right, But then you find out it's a complicated thing. But it's like, no, just be yourself. That's what's gonnnect with people. And yes, that connects you with your fans, but it still doesn't really work in the industry. Yeah, there still will ask.

It's like you can build your own fan base, and it's like the industry is still like, well, what.

About the men in Ohio?

Right?

I forgot about them because I don't think.

I don't care. I don't want them, I don't even care. Like it surprised me that men did like the special like straight guys did. Like it was a little disappointing, but I was like, okay, I'll take the win. I was like, okay, but it did feel like I guess that's just what happens, like when you are you, it doesn't. Then that's all you want. You just want to get on stage and not have to just get over that hump of like explaining who you are in the context of the rest of the world for the joke to land.

Yeah, do you know what I mean? Well, because it's it's that thing. And I'm rolling my eyes as I say this out loud. It's like you're being so specific that it feels universal, right, like like the guy in Ohio can appreciate, like as a husband getting post part of anxiety like Andy did or something.

Ye know what I mean?

Yeah, which I didn't even know could happen either. I didn't know it could happen, but then obviously.

It made sense, like it is his child. And it's like if you if you're someone who can rum in it on the idea of like this is a thing that.

Wasn't alive a little bit ago, right, you know what I mean?

Yes, And You're like and the whole time, it's funny because I have like a traumatic reaction to like sickness. I'll be like, she's not sick, he's not sick, And then Andy you'll be like, but she is, but she is, And it actually turns out to really be perfect because Jill called the doctor on stuff where I'm like, I don't think we need to be concerned about that because that could be a nightmare for me emotionally and terrifying

It's a checks and balances. Yeah. Do you think that that?

Because also in especially you talk about how you guys were raised very differently like you like you'd make a joke about like your dad throwing you like a football into like a lake and being like that's how you swim and then jumping in and saving you and being like.

You saved your life a guy. Yeah, and whereas like you know, split.

Into loving your father yeah right yeah, and he's from Seattle, from a more like I guess, liberal progressive yeah situation.

Yeah. Do you think that that has informed you as parents, even if you're like growing up being like that, there's no way, there's no way I'm not going to throw my kid in the water.

Right, Yeah, one hundred percent, because I'll be like I remember him coming home with minno and and he was like, I think she has a dairy allergy. And I remember my reaction going, no, she doesn't.

That's not those don't exist, even fully aware they do. But your parent jumps out.

I literally was like, no, right, not an option. And I didn't. I didn't look into it. I didn't ask him why he thought that.

Even I just.

Went neath, it's not now brand new gut, yeah, brand new gut.

You can't ergy this way, yes, And we found out.

Yes, we did not find out. I think I actually on that one, he was like, you might be right about this.

You want yeah, complacency want, yes, but.

We will hopefully we we should just get it checked out. Honestly, looking at it now, I'm like, you probably should just take a look.

The gunkles say check it out. That it reminds me of this other joke you have about your mom, like talking about like getting you getting blood transfusion when you were an infant at a time when kids were getting aids from Yes, the transfusion, yes, and you being like, well did I have it? And then she's like, well, we never got a check because it would have ruined your social.

Life right in first grade. I'm like, literally first grade I think she was like, you could have.

You could have.

We just never found out. And the doctor said it would be bad for your social life. I was like, no, he didn't the wasp doctor. Yeah, it was like absolutely not. And it's funny too because my mom, like the Pokemon evolution of my mother is like going from like Republican wife to like real divorcee who like paints in Maine. Yes, and she she is now very liberal in a way that you're kind of like, Okay, you're overshooting.

She's overshooting.

Yes, you know, she's painting a Ukrainian flag in her in her garage, and she's like, look at this, look at what I did with a big sunflower in the middle of it. You're like, cool, you are dis rediscovery good. Yeah, no, that's good for you, you know.

But then, does do you feel her brain in your head and in this moment of parenthood, I do? I you know, that's a really good question.

I feel like my dad's parenting had more of an effect even though I was with my mom. So I mean, I think the artistic side of me is all my mother, Like she's a painter. Her whole side of the family is like all like writers, painters, you know, photographers, and and my sister is in the art gallery world. She works and art and so I and my other sister's a musician. So it's all like we're all very much that. Yeah.

Do you think maybe like the absence of him made you fixate on him more and therefore like his parenting, like was it's the searching for that or the wanting that that makes it Like I don't know.

I'm just like I look at it and I go he was. He was like a fucked up guy. And when I think about it, I'm like, he's kind of the reason I'm funny, you know. I Like when I think about my dad making fun of people jogging, I'm like that, like that's my sense of human.

Was your comedic influence? Yes, yeah, yeah, they do tend to be that. Yeah, my dad. I don't know my dad.

I feel like we probably had similar dads my dad Long Island.

Yeah.

Yeah, but it's kind of like I was listening to the episode with Sarah when you were talking about how he drew him asking for a bah.

Yeah yeah, peanut, get me, I mean yeah. And all my mom could say was I love you. It's not funny.

Did he make him?

Did he make you walk on his back when his back hurt? You know what?

You know what's crazy. I used to make people do that. I used to make study do that. Study was walking on.

My back all of college. And now I'm like, did I get that from my dad? I don't think so. My dad was just the thing of on my biceps, I can lift you to heaven. Oh yeah, like I did that. So it was it was a lot of other physical stuff. And he used to we used to play a game called Crocodile where he was a crocodile in the bed and I was like trying. I was like a muskrat and he would take me and throw me off the bed. Oh yeah, that's the best. That's

Ye get thrown Yeah, it's really fun.

She really loves it.

She doesn't do herself now where we'll like grab her, we'll throw her into the bed and then we'll say boom while she does it. So then she'll climb up on the bed and she'll just fall into the pillows and.

Go boom boom.

It's very lonely to see to see her do it to herself, you.

Know what though, And the humor form, it's a humor she's pratfall. Oh yeah, pratfall queen, big time, big time. You've been asked a million times. But with two comedian parents, what is what are you likelihood? Do you expect her? How? How is she going to spit that out when she grows up?

You know, I have no idea. I genuinely hope for her sake that she's not a comic, But I also am like, I understand it's my job as a parent to nurture whatever, to nurture whatever she wants to do, and that is like what I intend to do. And if she wants to do comedy, I'm gonna be like great.

You know then also, you guys are going to be there as comics one day watching her sets, and that's gonna be really tough, Yeah, because you're gonna have to go through a developmental period. Yeah.

You know what I think is I just just based off of her personalities so far, I do think that when she if she doesn't like it right away, she's gonna be like.

And I don't want to.

So it's like, great, let's Gemini Moon, you know, try whatever, Try a lot of different things and then see what you like.

By the way, I remember one of the one of the times that we hung out at Usnel and Bowen's dressing room, you came in and you were crowdsourcing names. Yes, there was an era where you were like really looking to people to because like narrowed it down.

Yes, yeah, and I love Minno. It's like my aunt's nickname. I feel like it's just like a cute little homage to her.

And yeah, it's fun to say.

When I heard we landed there, I was like, I don't know if that was even in the ether at that time.

I think I said it to you and Greta.

You may have, and I think we we did have a very positive yeah.

Because we were. But we were going back and forth about the middle name. If you have Minno, then what's the middle name, because I was like, what about like Penelope? And then we were like that's a little Wes Anderson, Yes, now like Penelope, Yeah, yes, wait, what is the middle name? It's Baker.

Yeah.

Oh my god, so I just made it Baker.

Oh that rocks. Yeah, hands right.

It feels it kind of feels like Darling. It feels a little bit like it could be that or it's like a Welterweight from like the nineteen fifties.

Not heavy, not like we Meno be Hanes. Yeah, is the Welterweight? Incredible author? I feel right, that's important feminist work. Yes, producer, music producer. One word minnow like Willow Minno, welcome back to c Jones. Yes, yes, Meno be Haynes, Meno be Haynes. I love it. It's fun. You have my favorite. I think my favorite. There's a lot of hard to pick a favorite. I think my favorite currently. Joking, the special is being a mother in New York is like being

Yeah.

Yeah, you can't go to restaurants.

You can't go to restaurants, and people talk to you differently, like people that you've known your whole life. They talk to you differently.

I was dying at MoMA.

And it's not even that you are like a gay guy too, because we're all calling each other mom mouse.

Yeah, and the whole time you're judging each other, you're totally judging each other.

And how do you do it?

How you like mom friends explicitly that you actually like, Yeah, Like what are the challenges, Keavin?

I have not made a single mom friend. Yeah, I mean I have. I have friends who are moms that do comedy, so like comic moms I do get along with really well because I'm like, they get it, they understand. But it's weird to be a stand up who's a mom because you don't really fit in with the other moms, right, and you don't fit in with the stand ups and you're just kind of like, so stand up comics who are moms or parents you kind of understand because you really are living like a severed life.

It's weird to do, yes, you know what I mean. Yeah, And you've got a crazy job and it's like, I know.

Andy went to a party last night for the first time. He like went to paintball with like a bunch of his friends and he came and it felt like something like awoke in him. He was like, he goes, I don't. I don't think I realized how isolating this is. And I was like, yeah, he goes, that was the most fun I've had in years.

And I was like, paintball.

Okay, whatever, whatever floats your boat, babe, should we.

Should we go bowling or something? We should go to paint paint and said now I'm literally now I'm gonna actually fixate on paintballing. I went paintballing one and it was for a straight guy's bachelor party. And you had a blast and I had the best time ever. That was a straight guy's bachelorette. Yeah, literally, and it was it was like a lot of gay guys. Who was one of those New York theater straight guys who has

But it was like, I've dated so many of those like theater straight guys. It's actually embarrassing the personality of like a New York cop.

You're like, what that?

Well, me and Andy were talking about it like every like New York actor who's like a straight man.

Okay, you know what I mean.

They all have like a bandana as a bracelet, and they'll be like, yeah, I'm an actor and they've got like a fucking leather jacket on, and they have this energy like they throw a cigarette and they fucking spin on it.

You know what it is. I completely know what it is. Like three people. Yeah, damn, you're.

Like that, and you just want to be like, you know you're not act a cop?

Yeah you yet. Yes, I know you're.

Living like a blue collar life as an actor kind of, but like your hands are soft, right.

I also think like those guys go through phases too, because in college that's when they're the worst because they get so much action. Like these girls are so starved because it's mostly gay guys and like other other girls. And also they're in these programs where they're competing with each other anyway. Yeah, so it's already they're in the mindset of like only so many of us can get

They they do grow up and all everyone we've talked about has grown up, Yes, but they do in college have to send out those signals among their classmates to be like, I'm not gay by the way.

Yes, yes, it's just just a subtle signal walk down the street yelling I'm not gay by the way.

Yeah.

I can't the number of guys that I've dated with, like Fedoras, and you know, it was really a rough time where I wanted. I wanted to be in a relationship with another artist because I feel like they get it, you know, they get the life that you're living. Yeah, but the actors, honey, I.

Just it's a little too Yeah. The only word is emo. How did you meet Andy meet?

We met at a matchless bar, matchless like years ago.

And were you ever thinking like it'll be another comedian, like straight up stand up comedian or were you kind of.

Like I did not know who it would be. I was just like I had gotten out of a relationship with a comic. Yeah, and when I met Andy, I was like still with this other comic by the way, And then like never really even saw Andy until like after that, And I remember like meeting Anne and seeing him and him being like a very awkward human being. And he told me like we had talked for the first time in the day to each other, and he

What I mean, I gotta get this guy who thinks about he's gonna absolutely give it every which split me in not know, but also you know, not like to of yes, Mama.

Yeah, so yes mama.

So he I guess I just thought like, no, it's not gonna be him, and I did. I called up Sydney Washington after I realized I had a crush on him no, to be like, do you think I'm okay? Do you think I'm doing all right? And because he was so outside of Yeah, he's so outside of like my type and my what I was like looking for that, I was like do you think.

I'm I'm everything? Okay up here?

How have I sounded to you? You know? And she was like, oh, this is really out of left field, but she goes but it makes sense in a weird way, and I was like, that's how I feel. And so we went on a few dates and then I knew I wanted to get married, so I said to him, you know, not necessarily to him. I just knew I wanted to be married too. So I was like, hey, sad news for you. I want to get married. So if you don't want to get married, we should just

To fuck other people.

And so he was like, I'll get married, you know, and I was like, you know, not to me necessarily. It was a weird conversation to have because you're not telling someone like you got to marry me.

Yeah, you just have to be like, this is.

What I want to see my cards on the table, here's what I see right, and not even see for my future.

This is what I'm like planning for. Yeah.

So, and at the time did not want kids, just really wanted to be like married and fun. I just love like a fun married couple travel, travel, and they're like they make each other laugh. I really wanted that life. I was like, that looks so fun. And so it was literally nine months later that he proposed. So you know we're both drug addicts.

Yeah, we remember when we got him in Montreal. Yes he was flight back.

He knew we were talking to you the entire time about geography.

No, but yes, he's a map guy.

Yeah, he's a real map guy. Wait, what he loves He loves to talk about. Tell him where you're from. He will bring up at least three landmarks in your home. Wow, he's like, he really is autist. I was going to say, is that is that we've never gotten him tested? But I'm I'm pretty positive, like based on everything that I've read and know about autism that my husband for sure hasn't on some you know he's on that spectrum.

Yeah, totally for sure.

Because it's crazy. I mean the way just watching Jeopardy next to him, I'm like, well, why aren't you on this?

Should go on it? He should? I know.

Let me tell you, like the I've been on the celebrity Jeopardy and did well once I figured out what how do you do it? Like the clicking of the buzzer that's the hardest part. Oh really, yes, as long as you get that down, he could win.

Okay, he could win. I played other idiots like me. I just think it's a cool thing.

Even if we watch even I swear to God, even if you put him on Celebrity Jeopardy. He knows every like side character, actor's name, yeah, and you know where. You're like, how do you even know this? And he's like, it's one of the most famous actors in Britain and you're like, no, he's not.

No, he's not. I wonder if who it is now, I wonder who it is. It could be he says it about everyone. Yeah. How much of it do you absorb? Do you do you find that you learn things from him?

Or are you like I absorber none of it? Like I wish I absorbed some of it. It would be amazing if I absorb some of it. But it all just goes.

Like like there are people just that are just like that.

I'm I can't. Yeah, I don't know about you. You work at a smell so you can't remember anything.

Right, My brain is fucking yeah, and.

You're in entertainment so and also a pisce, so I assume your memory is kind of shitty.

My memory is well good actually no, no, no, it's well okay.

My long term memory is excellent. My short term memory is getting worse all the time, and I think it's I actually started to freak myself out because I think it's about marijuana.

I also, like all my grandparents have you know, dementia, struggled and met their demise to some sort of like that type of thing. Oh so I'm now I just turned thirty five. I'm now in that phase of like, okay, so at what point is something coming for me?

Right?

Right?

We were saying it's like algorithmically death really decides at like thirty four to thirty five that you're seeing like panicky like.

The middle aged stuff. Yes, it's it's yes, it happens.

I was thinking about you the other day, like, no, because you're thirty four still, but just wait, things change on the day.

It gets way worse in your late thirties.

Just FYI, what's coming up.

In the arm I'm getting just pajamas, Yeah, just just pajamas. No, it's like well you don't work, right, They're like, you're retired. It's pajamas.

So then that's that makes me feel great because the algorithm is still stupid and it doesn't know who you are.

But that's also given the number of things I've filtered out because they were literally offensive. Yeah, you know, so it's like pajamas and.

Memory care facilities for you and all caps.

Yeah, yeah, they're like a place for mom. You're like, what place forty?

Yeah, you know, it's gonna get even worse even now, as we said here with our phones on the table, because they're currently listening. This is the most fucked up thing that ever Happenedlast night. I met dinner after the show and I literally said, what do you guys thinking about deviled eggs? Like getting them for the table to share? No, I flip up in my phone. It's like deviled eggs. It's like the algorithm was like, just wanted to talk

It's yeah, well.

You can hear ordered deviled eggs? Is I thought it was going to be for a senior home.

I thought it was going to be your interest, changing circumstances for the table, a place for Dad, a place for gun Cal, place for Gonk. Do we like to start this now and plan out like an assisted living facility for like Brooklyn Commedi.

I mean we should, there should be something, but I'm scared because I'm like, what could be worse than a nursing home. A nursing home for Canadians.

Oh god, yeah, just desperately trying out your like new stuff.

Yes, just or like doing bits like people are on when they're in their.

Eighties, Like doing a bit that you're choking, but you are you are, like doing a bit that you forget. It's like something but you do. You have Wait.

That is my biggest fear when I'm on stage. I've had panic attacks about that of work. I have panic attacks while I'm on stage about what if I had a seizure right now, They'd all think I was doing an acting.

She's amazing, She's so physical.

And I'm like, I've never been physical in my act in my whole life. I don't know why I think this, but for some reason, in my mind, they are all going to think I'm like Pablo Francisco and I'm just doing a full like like I've had full panic attacks where I don't remember the entire set. So I'm just like by wrote, memorizing saying it out loud. Yeah, but in my mind going if I had a seizure right now, they'd all laugh.

They'd all be laughing. That that's crossed my mind before. Everybody. If you see rosebud Baker live and she seizes on stage, it's not an act out. It's not the hospital. She's suddenly a physical comedian.

Something, a seizure something.

The police. Andy, you'll be there, He'll call the police. If it was up to you, you'd be like, I'm fine. Andy's calling the pediatricians to come down, Like this.

Is actually about my wife, but I don't have the doctor's number. Yeah, it's a terrifying thing to imagine.

Yeah, I mean, but the great thing though, is like I mean, as I was watching the special, I was thinking about it, I was like to have like that family unit in place that's kind of like, this is like weird to say, but it does, like you have people that are gonna look after you forever. And sometimes I think about that like it sounds weird to say, and like we all have it in some regard because like community has been so important in how we develop

Me into the facility? Yeah, me, me, me? Or just like end it girl, No, no, bring me out of my senment.

Same thing to myself. Literally yeah, by Billy, please y unplug it. I don't want to do it.

Once we get bad news. Let's commit to that. Yeah, I'm telling you of mice and men, that's interesting, Like.

You want to be hugged to death?

Yeah, kill me like he killed her, not like.

No, kill me like the little mouse.

Yeah. And I was thinking of me until you crush me.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I was thinking of his mama that he shakes, not me.

Remembering of mice and men. My long term I'm telling you it's crack. That is good. It's a crack crack memory. I think if you make it to the finish line, which is check me into an assisted living facility, I've made it to like seventy eight or whatever. God willing. Yeah, like, that's that's the prize. Yeah, I hope not you. That's that's suck. That's the last tile on the game of life, you know what I mean? Literally?

Yeah, but that being the prize does that has to bum you out?

It's such a bum But I'm saying it's nice, Like I I don't totally disagree with what you guys are saying, which is like just end it there. Yeah. You know what is like absolutely you could go crazy watching it is Gutfeld on Fox, which is like the Fox Late night Show. It is the absence of comedy. There is nothing funny happening on it, and yet the ratings are so through the roof that you almost have to wonder.

It's like, are people watching it because it's like they feels like their political homework, or just because they don't trust anything on anyone else?

To be the thinnest premises you have ever seen, Like it's hard to here's the problem. To write a good joke, a premise has to be true. You have to write a true premise. To write a true punchline, not that the punchline is supposed to be like true actual, but like what we would consider a punchline. Yea, I you cannot. It's that job is going to be harder and harder to do because you're trying to write jokes about premises

It must work because his ratings are so big. There's so much bigger than any of right, And I was, but I was telling you that the ratings is more of a function of like it being embedded in other news programming onpot I hear you where like Daily Show could never get those numbers because it's on Comedy Central and no one's like keeping Comedy Central on all day and leaving it on at night. And I completely get that.

Yeah, there's nothing you can do if you do care about like what is true. There are still journalists. They do exist, you know, Like I have found that even just at update right, we have we get a setup. I have to turn around so often and be like, hey, is this something I should be freaked out about? Or is this a headline that is sounds a lot scarier than it actually is. And most most often the answer is like, you don't need to worry about this until this and this and this happen.

And who's telling you that? Like who.

Imagine the beacon of truth? Just Josh Patten who studied political science gets you know.

Yes, yeah, we love Josh.

He's so smart. And oftentimes whenever I'm about to like freak out and it's hard for me to write a.

Joke when I'm like emotionally of course, like this is crazy.

He'll be like, ah, it's not crazy for another three months, you know what I mean? And I'm like, okay, all right, so I can budget the amount of like fear that I have. But more often than not, you can like look this stuff up. You can find out like if it's true and if it's not right.

But I love that patents telling you, oh, worry about bird flu in June?

Yes, yes, yeah, He'll be like, it's not a problem until this happens.

Million birds are dead, Okay, we're here. When I said June, yes, a.

Like I was so freaked out about the flu the flu meeting getting canceled and I was like, oh no, no no, and he was like, if it gets canceled in six months, then we're really in trouble.

How do you know this because because of the major?

Because of the major, I guess I literally just realized that I just went because of his major.

Yeah, but that's that's that's an answer. Yeah. He is a very smart guy. I mean he's he's in aged in it constantly to do.

I'm actually fascinated by how weekend Update works, Like is it do you guys work the same Like.

Yeah, the same We work the same week, Like we go in Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Yeah, we go in and we do like three to five pages of jokes a day. So we just get like all these setups and that goes out to everyone.

I don't know really why. I don't know if anybody I know, it's on the setups. There's a setups file in the server m and like I'm like, we shouldn't. I'm like, cast doesn't need access to this necessarily, not really, but everyone does.

Sometimes people use it, so I guess I truly speculation. But we just write three to five pages of jokes a day by ourselves and then turn them in and then on Friday and Saturday we go through all of them once, like Jost and Chay have made their picks, we go through all of them. We tag each other's jokes up, we listen to them, We listen to the jokes that were picked back and based off of like the reaction or the way that they feel saying them, it's like they kind of narrow it down from that

Yeah, I always think about his job. Peach Schultz, also one of the Kings of Update, Yes, has to like really keep his ear to the ground. Yeah, that like it's.

Hard, Yeah, and keep both hosts happy making sure that they're getting the jokes that they want off, you.

Know, and then what's the interaction between I feel like I'm like asking questions because Bowen is such a star on Update, Like what is the interaction between people writing their updates?

And like the Weekend Update writing team is there.

So well, Like when Bowen comes in, he'll pitch something that's like, hey, I'm thinking about doing the hippo but like kind of making it off of like mapping it off of Chapel roone, and we're like, great, sounds done, Like that's just such a finished piece.

Did did you check it on Tuesday or Monday? Or Tuesday with the premise?

Yeah, with the update TA and you come in and you're like, this is the thing and then you go write it right. Other times someone will come in and they're like I want to do something that's kind of about this, and then we'll pitch on it and will help them and like right, And this is something that I actually didn't understand as a sketch writer. On the sketch writing side is if you go into Update and you're like, I have this idea for a feature, it's

We're just sitting here chucking it. We were just checking it.

And I feel like when I say things about SNL, I forget, I lose my grasp one.

I'm the same. I have no idea what words are.

Yeah, and I also don't know what's safe to say. Like I'll say things and then I'll immediately be like, well that's it. You want to walk into the ash and cook. Yeah, it's over. But so we're chucking it. I'm back to chucking it, and and you just think, oh, that's not really they're not really pitching right, but we're totally yeah you are.

So there's that. I honestly need to take advantage of that more.

Whenever you want to chuck it, come chucking chuck it.

Just so everyone's clear.

Boone is wearing a jewel tone legging and a beautiful Christian bracelet. I know he's a Christians. And when he talks about his Lent piece that he was going to yes.

Wear ron stones on your vagina.

Jesus so too. So these are flying off. There's only three, only three on Angel's wings. Wait a minute, that's a tattoo. I thought you.

I thought you were going to go on update as like like a QVC person.

Oh that's fun. Oh yeah, because anyone ever done that? Probably, I mean yeah, probably thinking no one's ever done that, will go and sell like his fake his fake problem always a yes no. Basically, the character was a Lent mascot named Lenny. He was in a Friar's outfit and he was like there to like whisper sweet nothings about giving up swearing and alcohol, and then he got up

But anyway, did anyone pitched that you stand up and there is no robe under the road?

Yes? Wait, someone did top Okay, see, I gotta check it with y'all.

We gotta come chuck it.

We got chuck it. Okay, I'm going to chuck it in a different way. Now we're gonna ask you the central question of our podcast. Okay, this is the question, what was the culture that made you say culture was for you? Rosebud Baker. This is that thing that hint that culturally it hinged you.

Okay.

So I did think about this before I got here.

Thank you for that.

Yeah, I did. I thought about it. And because a lot of culture I don't remember because I have blocked out most of my life. However, I believe that dance movies center stage being the on the oscar because because Zoe Seldania putting a cigarette out with her point show sent shivers down my spine in a way where I was like, I can be cool.

And a girl.

Yeah, and like I don't know she's the one that got on the motorcycle, but she was in my mind, yeah, yea, yeah, yeah, she was the one that got on the motorcycle with the with the ballerina that that drove the motorcycle. Yes, and they had sex in his apartment with like floor to ceiling windows. They had the same windows as the friends apartment.

Yeah, they did that like a completely unattainable thing that some people in New York were living in film and television at that time.

Yeah.

Yeah, And I think that just made me. That sort of turned me on in a way that in a theater kid kind of a way, yes, which I have been I would say closeted about for most of my life that I was a theater kid.

Now is that this is why you and like Greta get along because you can both meet each other.

Theater kids from DC.

Yeah. Yeah, damn, that's the common thread. Yes, two of our greats. Mm hmm, two of our greats.

So it was like anything that was like based in New York City, like Rent. Obviously the musical the Zoe Saldonna out the cigarette with her point.

Shot image is very it's formative.

It's so but I'm like, that was it. Yeah, that was the moment where I was.

Like, I'm cool, Yeah, I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go to New York and I'm gonna be an artist in New York.

Yeah that's fun. And I was like, have edge but also like be driven.

Yes, I'm gonna have edge, but I'm gonna.

Like eat cotton balls. Yeah yeah, just off myself or whatever soup would be two fillings. Yes, oh I can't. I know genre I have really fallen off. I just like we need more of them. Like the last big ones were like step up, do you want to know what? I think they sequalized them all too much. I can step up two, three, four, five, ten, twenty eight. Once you it just feels like a story exactly.

I mean, like unless unless you're actually gonna like really make them different and change them. I feel like, honestly, they got overfranch So I think.

That if you follow the arc of any dancer and their their career is gonna end way before five movies. You gotta you can't. Nobody wants to see a dancer after retirement.

Not only just because I guess your body changes and gives not gives up, but like is not able.

To wash your body's washed after two years in Vegas hoofing it for Jade to the Low.

Also, like the lifestyle, the lifestyle. I guess also was like we can't keep doing this. Yeah, I can't keep wearing a flat rim hat and doing get right.

No you can't. You don't kill yourself? Yeah, I mean, like where is our generation? This generation's like flash dance, show girls, dirty dancing like dance. Is that what you're talking about when I'm talking about.

Those dance where people were having like they were in high school and they were dancing up against each other. They were like they were on teams, they were fighting each other with dance. It was like it was our west Side Story, Like.

They literally did West Side Story. But I don't know what it was that it just didn't hit the culture because it was good. But the thing is, like, you know where those dance moments popped out, which they haven't really done in a few years. Are those live musicals that they did, like the Grease live musical that they did one that was exactly what like Julian Huff was like made to And I'm like, why isn't she the huge like like old Hollywood star of these types of movies.

Yeah, I think that people have gotten to this is just a theory. But I think we've gotten too invested in the villain running the story. We all love the anti hero, you know, and I think we all sort of leaned into the anti hero with Tony Soprano and breaking bad, and all of a sudden we were like a dancer who wants to make something of herself, like, you know, it just didn't. I think we all have just leaned too far into that, so much so that

I think that it actually speaks to like my I don't think so, honey from from the other week, which was I need to see animated movies Disney whatever for kids where the villains die really bad deaths. Yes, because they used to do it all the time, and they got afraid because it's not just anti heroes that were obsessed with, also protagonists who are complicated and the actual

That's the villain of the story.

It's like, no, give me a fucking one eyed, total bitch.

Yes, coming in here.

Who wants to kill tk TK It was puppies for Correl Deville. They would never do that, would never do that.

There would never be a woman dressed in the animals she killed anymore, not for kids. We've had too much like these are if these are the three stories, man versus Nature, man versus man, man verse himself, we've had too much man versus himselves, man versus himself.

No, we need to fear the villains of the world because they're out there.

Man versus the algorithm. That is the fourth one gap. This is the this is the new dance movie that we're all gonna write. It's it's the TikTok dance movie. It's people at a high school. They're all competing for TikTok dances or something some bullshit like that, and then they find out the real villain is the algorithm or something.

I love that or the guy running the TikTok cult that they're in.

Yeah, but here's the thing we need to reveal in the movie that the algorithm actually.

Is a person with one eye dressed in all dogs. He's a killer, like and we have to watch him push pushed into lava.

But it's not enough.

He's like coming out of the lava and like crocodiles who can swim in lava? Rip him apart and we watch it.

He but first he comes out of the lava with the dog. With the dog cos he's wearing a crocodile. He's he's in the mouth and he's like.

Guess what I'm wearing this too.

It needs to be a four minute death scene like what we did to Mikey Madison and Once upon a Time in Hollywood, Like she didn't deserve that. Some of these villains deserve. Not well, actually she was in the Manson family. She did deserve, yes, and she was. She was also a ghost face.

She got stabbed in the eye and Mikey Madison has burnt to death in two out of I guess her three films, Face and spent a time. Yeah, can I be.

Honest, I did not watch all of Once upon a Time. I do like certain scenes from it, but mainly I just remember Brad Pitt on a roof because I take a photo of the.

Screen in the movie. The man looks good in a lot of positions.

But I was alone in the movie theater. It's not okay to I was literally.

Like in the movie theater, my phone is out, I'm not watching.

I shouldn't have come, Like I'm telling you, like it's for sure, like it's really bad.

Sometimes I'll pick the movie that I know no one is going to be there for just so I can go to text in a dark room.

That's I don't know what that you know.

I used to do that when I was having a really bad day. I would get a carry karaoke room by myself.

Oh, by myself. That's amazing. What chucking it on?

Just chucking it to like the hardest ones, you know, just like trying to melt out a Whitney Houston.

Just give it a shot, so vocally push yourself. It wasn't a place where you could like, you know, rap hard. It wasn't like whatever it was about pushing yourself vocally.

Yes, it was like I just want to I don't feel my uh my sponsor, my therapist, like there's a lot of there's a team. Yeah, there's the care team. My my therapist sponsor. He was like, you need to like yell in a pillow every once in a while. That's good because I was telling him how much I related to Walton Goggins in this notice and he was like, yeah, you should probably like yell into a pillow about that, and but like, I don't feel comfortable yelling into a

And also so much of why it exists. Yeah, have you ever booked one of those rooms? I think they still have them in New York where it's just like old printers and TVs and then you have you take a job camera and you just like it's like you office space. Yeah.

I've seen a lot of people do that, and I wanted to do it so badly, but I was pregnant at the time, and I was like, this is when I actually need this and it's not safe.

And it's not safe. Now if you would like, let's all go, let's do it, I think all of us and I should go yes.

Yes, oh my god, yes, you.

Know what I mean, maybe like while they go to the host dinner or something like you guys just go skip out on a Tuesday, just take an hour and a half to go like.

Yes, like truly hammered down on these things. It helps it really does.

It would almost like I'll watch that story about Larry David like yelling at Dick Eversol.

I'll just watch that when I'm in just the story, just.

The story, and I'll just you know, of him just yelling and saying this and everybody watching and then him storming out and then I just like stop it. I don't even watch the how he showed back up on Monday. I'll just be like, yeah, good for you, you know, when I'm in a mood.

Oh yeah. But it actually is a thing. I've never really thought about channeling my anger in that way. I know those rooms exist. It was like a couple weeks ago, I was I was working out and the guy who trains me, when we were doing this thing where like he would throw a ball to me and I would twist and throw the ball back and I had to throw it as hard as I could. Yeah, And all of a sudden, I was like, Wow, this is like the best and most alive. I felt so literally yesterday

A what happened with your voice when you said really.

No, really no, no, I'm telling you. Yeah. He even said something about it. The trainer.

He was like, oh, wow, like you have some aggression and I was like, yeah, I think it's really becoming apparent right now. But I thought to myself, like, what if I go sco punched something in a productive way?

But I do think it's a slippery slope boxing by MMA to Rogan.

You don't you don't see me going mm a Rogan though.

No, But I sometimes I wonder if they if the two literally are if it's unavoidable, like no matter who you are starting out, I worry.

Yeah, if one day we'll all end up at just different different eras at MMA.

It would be so funny if you started boxing and within a year you were like straight living.

As a slur. It went from Hay in the park to Ura faggot in a real way living in Austin. What's then anything possible? Spinning? Why is that the way that I think that's the most masculine thing, which it is. We're not disagreeing with you, What is wrong with me?

Oh?

Spin on it? Yeah?

I really ato like I think it's Zoe Saldana.

But did Yeah, so then when you moved to New York, did that feeling washed over you of like I'm Zoe? It definitely washed.

Obviously at some point I was like I am Zoe, but more so than I was like an amalgamation of these characters where it's like which is hilarious because I was just like twenty with a drinking problem. But I did feel like I was like, I'm a little bit rent, I'm a little bit center stage, I'm a little bit sex in the city, I'm a little bit of friends. I thought it was all of those things. Yeah, and

Oh boy, so they were actually living there.

They were living there, they were rehearsing that they were Yeah, it was It was tough because I do hate. I hated their music, but I do hate metal in general.

But their music, and uh, are you honest about that?

I wasn't because I truth be told it was that or rehab. So I was like, I have to I'm like he he like promised my family he would take care of me because I was supposed to go to rehab. And I sort of like, did I bamboozled?

Wow? And it's worth it? Yeah.

No, I definitely took my parents' money and I was I told them I would buy a ticket to DC to go to rehabit instead, I stopped off in New York and I got off the plane and I moved. I moved in with X and his medal.

I had to know this about you. That is that is the rosebud Baker story. So insane.

Very ZOEA very very Zoe, literally the energy of ballerina slipwear.

Yeah, very Zoe, but bloated an alcoholic U huh and had not moved a muscle in terms of dance.

Yeah, everybody who moved to New York. It doesn't matter who you are. There's some piece of media and whatever. I'm not saying anything new but that like you just are fantasizing about or you think you're living. Yeah, for guys, it's like, I don't know, taxi driver or something. Maybe I don't know. I will say that is that.

Is a theater guy. That is a theater straight guys version of a New York City Right.

And then for like women and gay guys, it's sex and the sexy. Yes. But then so girls hit when we were like at the end of college, like Slash getting out of college, and we were like, oh wow, this is like the literal version of what it is. Yes, the green Point metal band is very girl, very Yes.

I was actually Hannah, you were yeah, Yeah, Wow, I was Hannah having terrible sex in an apartment with a boyfriend that was building things.

Yeah, for no reason.

I'm like, there's nothing to be built. It's a rental.

I can't get over that.

Adam Driver went from playing the weirdest fuck boy in Brooklyn to Kylo.

Ren And you know what's even weirder is that he was hotter to me as the weirdest one a thousand Right.

I think that that was the That was honestly one of the top three things that made that show successful. Yeah, was the Yes, just how reasonable it was that this was the hottest guy all around to end up weird.

Do I have like lipstick like caking?

Nope? Okay, good, perfect?

But what is it lately about? I feel the same way my lips have been, Like I'm so conscious of my lips lately.

No, I know, because if gross slip is really something that you live with, like there's nothing breath.

No, gross slip is worse than bad breath. It's rule culture number nineteen. Gross slip is worse than a bad breath.

Yeah, I guess. So mine just chraps the same spot and I peel from the same spot, cons mine gets merely in the corners. I'm really really sorry that was discussing. I feel the need to like turn to everyone here and say I'm so sorry.

No, I'm because that's what I'm worried about right now.

I wasn't thinking about it until you said it, and now I'm self conscious about it. But let's just live in this together.

And if you have Matt, like mac lipstick is like it's great for stage or whatever, but it does it just cake? You're like, oh damn, I don't want to have a cake on my lip. Anyway, we were talking about Adam Driver being hot.

Well, I mean, and also it's funny that you say they were having bad sex, because I remember this must have just been my my acceptual experience at the time. But I was like, is what they're doing really hot? Because remember when he because he dated it started dating Schery Apple be in the show and then he like made her crawl around on the floor and he like came on her tits and she was like I don't like this, yes, And I was like, oh, he has

Like I was never worried for her, right, It just seemed like she was in a position where they were figuring it out sexually. But I was never worried for Hannah right.

No. Ever, I felt like it was.

It was odd to me because I was like, oh, this is a guy who genuinely loves her, wants to care for her once, like just loves her. Yeah, and for some reason it's like sexually he's like into this shit, you know. And she kind of always seemed a little bit.

Like I guess yeah, you know, and that.

Yeah, because I always felt like Hannah was going like that sure, you know. It was always she literally would like shrug her shoulders as consent and then they'd be like yeah, cool.

But it was that.

I mean, that's why I got to say, like when I was watching girls and then I think it was like me too. A few years after that, yeah, and I was like rewatching it and I was like, well, this is half of my sexual experience right as like as just a person that grew up.

When I did.

Yeah, so I'm like so just everything. I literally called my therapist. I was like, I actually just don't have the bandwidth for this.

Yeah, like I said, no, I said that.

I was like, I don't have the bandwidth to break all this down. I'm just gonna kind of push this down.

Yeah, And he was like okay, Wow, it's like what were we okay with and what were we just like, oh, I guess this is what sex is, Like, I'll submit to whatever this is, despite the fact that like because I guess what it was for me is I was like, well, this person that I'm having sex with can't have like like a real relationship with sex and away I don't like a proclivity towards this thing he wants to do.

I guess we're just both figuring out and it must be fine. Yeah, And then yeah, Wow, I'm.

Like, sometimes you meet somebody and you're like, well, I was never into this before, but I guess I kind of am with you, like you know, you never know. And then you're like, it's just it's sort of a mystery that I'm going to leave unsolved.

Yeah, yeah, you know. But like that show kind of portrayed it in a way that I think we probably hadn't seen before. Absolutely what I mean absolutely in a serialized way, like, oh, you can track like the sex that Adam was having with this character is not the same the sex he was happing with Hannah, and therefore that is, yes, this weird sort of questionable. Yeah whatever, they definitely need didn't do that in Sex and the City. It was always like fun.

I know, the sex scenes in Sex and City. When you rewatch them back, you're.

Like, no, it's like that's he that's not even that. It doesn't even look right. No, it wasn't even stage. But like all this Samantha stuff is just like, yeah, I don't know. What I loved about girls was like it never made an attempt almost ever make it to make sex look hot. Yes, it was always weird.

It was ridiculous, absurd yeah, and clanky.

Yeah.

And like that was the whole thing with Adam and Jess too, right, Like the first time they fucked it was terrible, and they were so positive it would be good, and then it eventually does get good and they get on the same page. But like those two characters having bad sex was so it was such a mulk moment in that choke.

Yeah, they were, they were. They were chucking it about that. That's what it is. It's not hey, mama, it with mama choking it with mama chucking it with mama, My, that's the winner. Like what's this going to be?

They're chucking it, They're chucking a little out, We're chucking it, We're clanking it. I think I said clanking a second ago. Yeah, I was talking about the sex in girls. I said clank, yeah, which it does actually work.

It's clinking. It's very Judy Garland meet me in Saint Louis.

Yeah, clank clan clan clan Clanka. Scarecrow meets tin Man.

Yeah, imagine if they fun to be terrible. Watch watch the Scarecrow and the tin Man. Yeah, I want to click the link. Yeah, I'd click the link whenever. Whenever he sees two hot guys and a picture together goes, I'd click the legs. Actually, that's that is so this? Oh god, I click click the link. He said, it's about a picture of me and someone else other day clicking my.

Not me responding to a picture of the baby with that later today, cick the link.

Oh my god, Like, no, that's not how you do it.

I was watching Denise Richards has a new reality show on Bravo. It's like Denise Richard's like, yeah, not on Housewives. But and she was talking about like her daughter joined only fans. Yes, she kind of couldn't really say anything because like she had Hollywood and was doing like wild things, et cetera. And they have an brought it up right, and so, yes and so. But now on the show

Empowered about Denise Denise.

And then and then the daughter was like, do you know how embarrassing it is for me to have to explain to my friends, like why you're not only fans? And it's just so funny that coachly that's where we're at, Like, Mom, I do porn.

Porn is my thing. You do porn by myself. Mom, why do you always have to do porn after me? I know I was doing porn for years before you, But I understand why you're upset. Honey. Okay, I do need to watch this show. It's I actually I tell you that all them.

I was like, I just want to say, I just want to knock on the door and say Denise Richards is giving something on the.

On peacock.

I clicked the link.

Yeah, any housewife thoughts you want to get off your chest? Yeah, what's up? So many?

I have so many I feel like I'm really I've never loved Sutton.

We're having a hard time. You're loving her.

I've no, no, no, I never loved her. But now I am like, you are an evil, evil person.

She's the villain very least, she's just broken, you know what I mean. But I'm generous. But yes, I've said evil too in the past.

Yes, I just watching her sit across from Dery and do this.

Oh the wallet thing really bothered me.

Like with the eyes, I was like, calm down, you look like Ramona.

Yeah, it was.

It was giving Romona a bit as Also if the insult was about like wealth in a way that was like a trackable or actually funny, that would be one thing.

But it's like you need to fight with someone who's wallet fits. It's like, well, while it doesn't fit, the promise has to be true.

Yeah, the premise has to be true.

And I'm just like and then like it was so easy to dunk on her because the rest of the women were just like, like Kyle said in the after show, she was like, well, then we have to talk about where you actually got your money, which is from a divorce, right period.

Thank you, Like, so that's just it. And I was like, do you feel this backed into a corner or are you just that mean? Because I think she is that mean.

Yeah, I think she is that mean because she's never been backed into a corner once. I bet I've seen. I'm like, except somebody maybe said something about her drinking, but it's like, hello, that's the job.

Yeah. But also there were things to say about her drinking.

Yeah.

I remember the show one time they saw they showed her pouring like a huge cocktail in the middle of the day and on the bottom hand of the corner bottom thing, it's set eleven forty am. It was like the show was pointed to show.

You're like, Okay, well, maybe don't do that on camera or if.

You're gonna yeah, exactly, if you're gonna do it on camera, expect that one of your castmates whose job it is to say something like this, may say something.

And the whole show, the whole premise of the show and the lot. And this is why the logic of it gets so depressing if you really like start to think about it, Yeah, is like you are putting your life out there, yes, and you're gonna get torn apart.

And that's kind of what we do with housewives. It's fun to do.

We feel better about ourselves doing.

And it's fucked up, but it's it's sort.

Of the last like dark disgusting habit I think of like this part of culture. Yeah, it's like it's listen, let's enjoy it.

Well at last, it's WWF for women and gays. Yes, absolutely, And I will say when I did, because I have publicly spoken against Bronwyn on Salt Lake and then I met her from only at the SAG Awards, and then we had this lovely moment and I explained myself and I apologized for all these terrible things that I had said. I said, you are ultimately a fantastic mother. She like shows up to all these rallies where she's supporting her trans kit. Yeah, and then and then she goes bow in.

That's what I love about bron Wins. That is what I love about her. I kind of that was the vibe.

At least.

I was like, I feel like it's the same vibe off camera, yeah, you know, whereas sudden it's I'm getting it's doctor Jack.

You know, I feel like.

I'm really loving to read this season. I'm loving her kind of like snapping back and getting mad and just I'm just enjoying that.

Yeah, it's because it's real. It's real. That's ultimately what it is. Is like the authenticity is kind of it's like she does she has no more fucks to give because it's kind of like, you know, this this job now the Housewives is now like you know, she doesn't have to like think about like what her husband's gonna think or like pretend at all. She's like, oh, this is the place where I can be in my mouse authentic. Now it's not, but I don't have to wait to

She'll be like, hey, little peanut, anyway, she's a cunt. Yeah. Like I love that she's like she's like a good mom. She's sweet to her kids. I love the way she talks to her children. I was never talked to like that. I mean my mom was like very sweet and loving and kind, but she didn't call us like little peanuts and like the little nicknames that Yes, Jackie, Yes, she just has like the cutest little nicknames for them. But

It's not that, it's definitely the show at large. Right, Oh you Oh, I was a television star at what age?

And I didn't know?

Uh? Did you guys watch Potomac? Yeszy Rush is so funny.

And I want to say I believe her. I believe her too, really, yeah, thank you for saying this. I believe her because TJ has clearly showed himself to be like a bad person.

Yeah, why would I believe this man?

Why would you believe him? What?

What about him even read as even a teensy bit believable? Right?

And I believe that she's like heartbroke over the fact that like this guy who whatever it means to her or to us her best friend, would then betray her and go on and like and like tell the man like, oh, she was paying me to be her boyfriend the whole time, Like that would be a heartbreaking thing and she would not know how to she She was probably in shock in that moment and did not know how to explain that because it's such a hurtful thing.

No, I feel like the way that she handled it, I was like, you guys are just making her look more innocent.

Yeah, still I rise and still.

Was.

But I will also say I think it's somewhere in the middle. I think she did not offer to pay him, but it was fake. I think the whole thing was fake and stage whether or not, like they made it an agreement that money would change hands. I can understand why you guys think that's definitely didn't happen. But I do think that they either did not know each other. I don't even believe that they were best friends. I believe that he was flown in because he was like

He did it in a very may I say please homosexual.

Well yes, by calling into the reunion.

By calling into the reunion and being run me my money, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, now you're just stirring.

The pod like a flavor. I recognized.

Yeah, he was dropping tea, he's running more tea.

He was chucking it. Yeah, he was chucking it. He actually chucked it into the reunion. And then when Eddie got first chair, I was like, thank god, thank god, I love Eddie. He's hot. Reunion.

Yes, yeah, oh yes, yes she did. What do you guys think of I don't know why her name is. Yeah, thank you, I gotta go, it's gotta go it.

I think she probably is because the thing is like you can't really just I mean, she literally just left, and I know Andy hates.

That, yeah, right, like in a punitive way, like I think.

So.

I also think if if it wasn't so clear that that storyline is like circulatory, now one has run its course. And also I do think we've seen all of her tricks in terms of like funny things she can say, do, et cetera.

Yeah, I think we can lose mia. And and also I think I.

Think she's just like a straight up villain. Yeah, Like I think it's you see the good sides of every housewife and you love the good sides of them as well. With Mia, it's just getting harder and harder to understand, like where's the yea, where's the side of you that's really I mean walking off for her kids. If if I were to believe that that was I think it

She Yeah, her walking off is a redeemable thing, but she still walks off like she's like at the end of the day, she's still is pulling away from the whole thing in a way that you're like, well, then you don't, then you can't, then you shouldn't be here. Yeah, And you're in that position because you did this to your children, Like it's like, yeah, sure you're walking off because not my kids.

But it's like, we wouldn't have it not my kids situation had you not broken the divorce to the kids on the on camera. Yeah, it just doesn't really math for that to be the thing. That's like like as if Gizelle had crossed the line. And trust me, Like, I don't have love for Gizelle Bryant, but my thing is like she's she's expressing her views on it, which were a lot of the viewers, you know, positions which was we can't really believe you when I kind.

Of do like Gizelle, that's okay, and that's a that's kind of an opinion.

She's such and that and that, and that's an opinion, and we're just chucking it.

We're just chucking it around. I'll chuck it with Gizelle. I would.

Here's the thing I think she is. She's a Debbie Downer for sure, huh. But I do relate, yes, as a Debbie downer, I do relate. My problem with Gazelle is when she stirs the pot. Yeah, no reason that.

No, That's the thing is I don't think she's not a compelling person, Like I actually think she sores when she's like dealing with something personal or with her family, et cetera like that, or when she.

Like, like I thought, that's so psychotic to throw them out of that Oh so crazy.

Yeah, I mean they got there.

I feel like when she seemed genuinely concerned for Karen, I was like, this is the kind of thing that, like, you know, not everyone can do on television, right, Like I do think like, and she wouldn't be on television for this song if there wasn't a lot there. It's the very transparent producing that I don't like, and I don't like it when anywhere.

Yeah, she does do that. She does do that a lot, and the Karen stuff.

I do feel like Gizelle probably produces a lot in her own life though, I'm like, you're a producer in general.

Yeah, because her life is kind of like a reality show anyway, Like, yeah, what's his face with Jamalrow?

Yeah? Yeah, the guy, the guy. So yeah, I don't know. I'm I've gotten really into Beverly Hills this year and I and I did enjoy Potomac. I kind of dipped off at the end, but I did tune in.

For the reunion. Atlanta had a really good premiere episode. I heard and I will say this. You know what I'll do? I think, so honey, Hey, yeah, yes, yeah, it's time for I don't think so money. This is our one minute segment where we rarely get something in culture. Yes, m h I mind. Wait, mine is going to be controversial. Okay, is mine?

Because mine is housewives related and it's going to be controversial because and it might get me a little bit in trouble, but I'm going to do it anything.

Okay, Okay, this is Matt Rodgers. I don't think so many as time starts now, I.

Don't think so honey. Hating on Porscha Williams for the for the stealing the man thing, I feel like we don't know what happened. And I feel like the thing with Porsche is I believe that she is a bleeding heart, and I believe that she is really susceptible to men and their manipulation, and that is not It's sure, it's a character flaw, but it's not an evil thing about her.

She's also paying for it now, I don't think, so honey, this is added and that's one minute. That's how I feel like. I feel like, of.

Course, when I heard that Porsia had gotten with Simon Golbadia, whose Foulon Gbadia's ex husband, like that, soon after I was like, Wow, that sounds like a really weird situation. But I just don't like it when people are like, fuck her home record, etcetera, there must have been cheating, et cetera. It's like, you don't know a lot could have happened in that two and a half weeks after my God and matters of the Harder.

I got engaged in three days during the pandemic.

There you go, that's what I'm saying.

But some of us cannot sit home alone.

Yes, yes, love that. It was really that that short. It was three days. The engagement was three days.

No, no, no, we got engaged within three days, like pandemic lockdown started three days later.

She's what I'm saying. That's like, you you know how we'll know she's a villain if she shows up on the show with one eye and she wears a cape made of dogs and yeah, yeah.

In this world where villains look like villains. From now on, please, bitches, My thing is like this, real villains out there, one of them is president. Let's not let's not waste energy on Portia Williams her ruin her own life.

She's going to do it.

It's episode one too.

I am saying it had an amazing premiere and Shamiah Morton is not like the center character, and I didn't know that she really could carry that center. But I said, kudos to them for making that swing because it paid off. It's she's I didn't realize that she had all of that going on. Yeah, but she's gonna be really fun to watch. I wait, I need to watch it too. You're doing a house that's one two?

Yes? No, no, no, no no, I'm not doing housewives.

Okay, so you'll go next, I'll do I'll do one anyway because I actually I have an idea. Now, okay, good, this is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so, Honey's time starts now. I don't think so, Honey, Ashley Darby, because you know who might have also paid for her significant other? Ashley Darby? Who is that guy? Who is that guy? And she can't even take a joke about how he does look like Jack Harlow And even if he does it, Wendy still made a fun joke. The premise has to

And that's one minute. Also, the one thing you missed the kissing with Jacqueline kill me. It was so dumb and fake and I was desperate people in the world without telling you.

Yes, the way she walked is she's like so talk absence of attraction to each other.

Yeah, truly, you know what what that was giving was Ashley knowing she had no storyline and that the Jack Carlo thing is like not real.

Yeah. And also Japlin being like something that's not me. Yes, I'll do it. Yeah, yeah, actually be like no, we don't need a fuck like yeah, totally, totally, totally, yeah, totally.

I was Anyway, I'm busy getting ready.

Yeah, think about being a human and like walking into that thing with the camera on you and having that stupid interaction.

I was like, oh, they called the care guys into the too that bathroom.

I've done student films that were actually less sad.

And we're going to show them right after this tune in. Okay, this is Rosebbaker. I don't think so many of her time starts now.

Okay, I don't think so, honey. Seven season two's pacing. Do you guys have the audacity to keep us waiting two years only to drop one episode like this is network television nineteen ninety seven. I don't think so, honey. We are not on the severed floor. Okay, we remember what you did to us last time. I don't think so, honey. We are five episodes in, and what do we have to show for it? A little espionage, a little cryptic workplace dread that is a Tuesday for us?

Yeah, okay, where is the momentum? What happened?

Where's the what the hell just happened? Energy that we just signed up for? Because right now, honey, it feels like I'm sitting through a corporate training video and the pacing I've had actual miscarriages.

Move faster.

Okay, the whole show is just walking, staring, whispering cryptic nonsense like the baby goats, bitch, what about the goats? Okay, and I swear for one more character just stares.

At something for a full.

Fifteen second instead of saying something, I'm gonna throw my Apple TV remote into the ocean.

Okay.

I know there's so much more. I just I don't think so.

And that's why, literally we have I have so much more.

I literally am like, I have a lot of feelings about this because I've stuck with it until last episode, where there was like four bottle episodes in a row.

Are you kidding?

It feels like people, I'm getting upset and I listen, if they can land the plane, God bless them, I will be blown away.

I trust them to land the plane just because it feels like it's moments of greatness are so great. But I would agree I had a really hard time with the first season because sometimes and.

Like that that was also.

Yeah, Patricia Arquatt literally went to an old friend turned enemy he did not want anything to do with her. Was like, please, I need to borrow your truck. He's like no, why would I give.

You my truck.

She gets in the truck for He's like, okay, yeah, I'll drive you somewhere. Then she gets out. She's like looking for something that she literally contacted a past friend turned enemy for walks into the house to go look for it, and fucking takes a six hour nap, looks for it for two minutes to take six hour nap.

I was like, what, so, what is what? What are you looking for?

We'll have to hope it pays off for me. The second season just needs a lot more Patricia Arcat Yeah, like that was one of the great things about the first season.

I agree they needed a lot more Patricia. I mean what they gave us of Patricia is I'm not happy because she's amazing. Yeah, and she was so good when she was like just female rage behind the wheel of a car.

I love that.

I love a woman on the verge, yes, you know, and then this whole episode, this whole thing where she's they're trying to explain what her whole deal is with Luman and also why the why does everybody talk so fucking stupid one sentence like a human being. I mean, that's part of why I love that the character on Cherry's character, Yes, where she's just like, what's up, guys? Yeah, Instead they're like, we're going to tend the garden?

What garden?

What even?

Where even is that?

Yeah?

And what about the baby goats? And what about the fucking trap door or whatever?

I don't care.

Feeling losty for some well, I think I think, well, it's interesting, like I've actually heard that a lot of people that are watching Severance and absolutely loving it are really not liking White Lotus. And I think that you've heard a lot of the same things about them both being slow. So and then my friend said, a whitaker said this the other day he went to go watch White Lotus with a bunch of our friends who love Severance, and he said, they were watching White Lotus like that's a clue.

That's a clue. That's a clue. And I'm like, oh, so I get it.

It's like some people want to watch this like it's like a puzzle, and other people want to watch it like it's like a shatirical comedy, like it's gossip exactly, and so I am, give me gossip, give me my month, like delicious.

So funny because I literally thought when Helena came in, I was like, good on her because the way that I would have been fired for sexual misconduct on day two at that office, just trying to make something happen, and I'm like, God, bless, he's the only person that's made anything happen.

But I just think it's like, it's funny that these two shows are on at the same time and like the water cooler shows of the moment, and they obviously come out week to week, which you know, forbids people from binging them, and I think it has something to do with our attention spans that we're saying. But also the fact is, like I guess when there's a lack of prestige elsewhere, we'll just sit and have to wait. It's I just think two of them are offering two

Well, Severance needs to release all three of the last episodes together because I honestly, I need to be able to spit like speed it up myself because if it's appointment television, yeah, and I'm falling asleep in the middle of every.

Episode, right, that's a problem.

I mean, I will say I'll take fifty percent of the that's my life.

Yeah, but like, come on, come on, come on, yeah, whiz bang something. Yeah, it's a lot of stuff. Lately. We just watched a movie that was it promised more action than delivered, and I'm like, well, then, I don't know. I think people would sign up for something that was like a slow burn thing. But yeah, it is nice to.

Say I am a white Lotus girl though. I love you said that because I didn't realize it.

It was like, I don't even think it's moving slow. It's just it's funny. The people that are saying it's moving too slow are the puzzle.

People are watching it, who love a show that is moving that is in fact moving too slow. Yes, I'm gonna say something, and this is just the next extrapolation of what I've been saying for years. Chuck it and net chuck it. Netflix has been doing this. I would encourage other streaming platforms to do this. One point five speed, one point five, one point seven five speed even one point two five? Wait, no, no, you're anti this? No, of course I understand. I understand. If you're anti I

I know, I know, because we are watching television, we are not reading.

Fine, fine, you're right. Actually that's a great, great art.

You know what it reminds me of. Okay, it reminds me of like when I was drinking, right, I would if a friend was like concerned with my drinking, I would adjust. I would adjust my life to make way for my drinking. If we start that with TV, if we start adjusting our lives to make up for our short detention spam.

Yeah, that is a very slipper. Okay, you're right, I take it back. You know what, though, I will say, it's scary. What about for the mind? So so yes, for something like prestige like these shows were talking about.

Yes, that's art. It is paced, it's edited, it's like specifically made for whatever the.

Pace is relatives, and that's why, like I think one point five is fine anyway initially, but now I take it back okay, but I used to really get upset when people said they listen to this podcast at like one point five one point sometimes one point seven five A, how are you doing that with us?

Oh?

That must sound truly like I'm in my brain all the time, and I don't want to be in your brain all the time. Like mice, I am running that fast all the time. If you can listen to us at one point seven five clinical.

I've been sitting here for an hour looking at you guys, going wow, they're so good at just getting it out. Nine years in the game talking just getting it out quickly and quick witted.

I have been asked by people i'm on dates with, like, so, how how much dead air do you have to cut out? And I'm like, we don't know that and they're like what, and I'm like, yeah, we just we took it up. Yeah, we'll pick it up.

And it's amazing, it's amazing. I was literally talking to sarahbout it this morning. I was like, I don't know, they're so quick, they're so good. I was like, I don't have it takes me so long to form.

A thought that has proven to be true here today. Well, because I honestly even checking it.

But that's because I drink so I was checking back.

COFFEESD was that something to do?

No?

But I did do it. I did it.

When I talked to Sydney, she was like, because I talked to Sydney last night and she was she had just come from an espresso and I was like, you're like a different person right now.

I love what this is doing for you.

And she was like, I just I feel like I really got a good set or whatever. And I was like, doing that tomorrow.

He's a Celsius king. I'm a Celsius king. I mean, the whole office is. I love Celsius. It's so good.

It's so good, and it's so much better than coffee because I do just feel like I am on a steady stream of crack cocaine.

Yes, yeah, it's just an x R extended release.

Yes yeah, no real like who like it just sort of slow up and then and then you're not and you're landing upside down.

But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter on Celsius. Yeah, and I find that even the upside down landing is not as bad as like a full on crash. No, it's just you're upside down, but you're you're kind of still alive to the ground. Yeah.

Did you hear Dakota Johnson say she thought it was like a healthy fruit drink. She had like six or seven of them, and when she was like actually like having a conniption on the set, and she was just like because it's like no, it's like it's a lot of even one is like you're gonna be zoom.

Oh my god, that's my nightmare. The first time I had five hour energy, I had like a full on breakdown in the street.

I was like five hour was like that was an overhead.

Yes, it was crazy.

That was too much.

It was way too much. It should not have been legal. I think it still is.

You definitely can still get it. I remember like.

It's a seven eleven purchase for reasons it is.

And they look like poppers too.

They do?

They do? Put him right next? Can I get that little bottle? And that little bottle I want to get absolutely ampt and dilated.

You hold them both up and you're like.

This has been so fun. This has been so fun fun. The mother Load It's on Netflix now. Most Lady Tour, Baltimore, Edmonton Sacramento, Cleveland, somewhere in there. You do have a better memory than you think. No, he's great, that's short term.

I literally was like, is there a teleprompter?

Oh Andrew going on head mcmaon's cruise. Absolutely not cruise. Yes, yes, that's.

Going to be so many women like Adele vacation braids.

It's gonna be a problem. You should should be like, hey, ladies, know, is everyone feeling like Adele tonight? It's just like my imagine.

I go in there with like full extensions, like actual wefts of extensions, trying to braid those I.

Want them to be real, visible visible. My favorite thing is like like this, someone who someone who either doesn't care or doesn't know that their extensions are wildly out. Yes, that was me on my wedding, And it's a look I thought you looked amazing. They show up in the pictures. I look like fucking Heather on the beach. I need I need to tell you, I need to go. Yeah, it made it even better better.

I love it. Thank you so much for having me.

This is a joy. Well. We end every episode with a song that's right by It's Donnie's Last day with Us by John It's Donnie who operates our cameras. It's our last day of us.

He's literally the cutest person in the world, so we just want to say he's moving on to another job. And actually the song that we want to sing is what's a goodbye song?

Hope You, Hope You Day, Tani, we Hope you Day, We Hope you.

Duell and Finance, Dull and Last Cultures. This is the production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players in iHeart Radio Podcasts.

Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, Executive produced by Anna Hasnier and.

Produced by Becker Ramos, Edited mixed by Doug Baby Anisela Board and our music is by Henry Komirski