“Why Did You Do That... TO ME?!” (w/ Joel Kim Booster)

Larry Owen's called a Skull of Josh Sharp, Aaron Jackson as Peter Smith, Peter Smith, and more to be announced. More Queer to be announced. Musical directed by the one and only Henry Koperski Son Monday, novembery at Joe's Pub, The one and only. It's our very first, ever last culture is to show at Joe's Pub. We love the folks over there. We're gonna be, you know, recording a

little video promo for it in the coming weeks. You might see it and you can get tickets at the Joe's Pub website, so please head over and do that, and then we have the gag. Of course, it's I don't think so honey Live at the Bellhouse on No. Yes, this is gonna be a pretty new batch of folks. We are really gonna show you some new faces, Darling. Our last one was like a Legends ball type gig. But this is gonna be such a fun, fresh experience.

It's gonna be so great. I can't wait for it. Yeah, you gotta get your tickets to our I Don't Think So Honey Live at the Bellhouse on no And if you're on the West Coast, Honey, I'm coming to you and I'm gonna be doing I Don't Think So Honey Live at the Region in downtown l A on December five. The lineup will be announced shortly as well the Bellhouse lineup. But this is gonna be so much fun. I loved our show that we did fun. I can't believe I'm missing this one. But you know what, it's for a

good reason, which is your wedding to yourself? Yes, just kidding his work, um, so listen, I cannot wait. And then selfishly, I want to just plug a little show that I do here in New York City at the Duplex. It's called have you heard of Christmas? Oh? I love this show. Thank you baby. I'm really excited it's gonna be on December eleven, December twenty two, so I'm gonna do that show three times and I really want you guys to come. You can get tickets, um, which are

on sale right now. Those are the shows, and that's the Gauntless Special Best Special Guests and that's musical directed by Henrykoperski as well. Yes, oh, I can't wait for all of these shows. Um. I will be three out of four of them for sure, So please get those tickets and check them out. Yes, look man, oh I see you? Why why look over there? How is that culture? Yes? Goodness? And we relate to the studio today. And our guest was furious because Boe had to make his rice. This

is a pr disaster. I've never been slandered this way on social media. No one ever came for me because I didn't tell the whole truth. What and that's a rule of culture number No one ever came for me because I didn't tell the whole truth. Lots of reasons to read me. But you know what, you can't say I'm not a truth telling bitch capital b wait, okay, we can't pass this that right now. I would expose you.

I don't know what that means. I don't know. I was making short rib kimchi fried rice for all of us, complimenting himself all the way. No, I was gonna make it for all of us to eat after this, after this recording. But you're you're going to go off to caveat um and for game show on my Game show, and Joel is invited to come over. Our guest is invited to come over afterwards and played Slapparazzi on Mario Party. Oh my god, wait now I have to come but yeah, okay, wait,

you guys, here's this is a last couturism endorsements. Yes, so Super Mario Party on the Super Mario Party on Tendo Switch. It's the best mini game in Mario Party history.

It's called Slaparazzi. You basically go explain it. So there's a circular platform that all all four characters are on, competitors around, and there's five different stands where a kupa with the camera will appear at random, and your job is to the goal is to go as close as possible to the camera and slap away your competitors to see who can get most centered slap them out of the way for the intention of this Kopa photographer. And

what's the name of the girl, Rosalina. Okay, so there's this new character, Rosalina, who's like in the same world as Peach and Daisy, Like she's obviously some sort of princess, but she's got an asymmetrical bang and she's nine feet tall, and it's impossible for her to not win this game. And Dave Mazzoni was playing us Rose Salina and he kept winning. It was so funny. Rose Helena was just looking stunning in front of the camera every action, even

when she was being slapped away, she looked looked fierce. Um, oh my goodness. We're making history again with this episode. Can you believe it's a three pet? It's a three pet. This is the first entry into the three timers club. We're making history again, making history again, as we were, well behaved women barely make history, are we well behaved? It's actually a little culture number one behavor history. That's how Marilyn said it too, with that little Coquetta's Coatta's affect.

Honestly from runner for title of have well behaved women. Okay, let's just see what the guests we're literally three minutes, and I'm just saying it's a farmer at this time. We've been doing them for three minutes, and at this time it's a farmer, just like Lady Govt in the best actual Race. And I knew that would get we get our guest a little steam. This is our deep dive into a stars burn. We'll talk about a clam in a hot bucket, but this is our first three

time guest. He's one of our dearest friends. He is one of the most pre eminent minds in comedy right now. I would say when it comes to minds, pre eminent, pre eminent, honestly mind body face, hair, body mind face missed the fourth one. A man loves a quadruple threat. He h has his wonderful show Joy Club as part of your Comedy Festival number November nine Friday. I might be in ned. Who knows it's gonna be all Asian comedian.

If you're not on the bill, I would gag. I would say that's a revolutionary for Joel to not book bow one for the Joy Club. But he's I mean, we're he's He's booked mostly the lineup from San Francisco. When he when we did this at Clouster for when he did this at Clouster Fest, one of my one of my favorite was my favorite shoes, so fun, so great.

And I say that, and we had a show in the festival, and I would say Joel was robbed uh in Gatland to gag, I would say, I mean, look, if we're looking back and we're gonna like relitigate the whole thing, it was pretty much a robbery that he didn't move on to at least the next round. I agree. I agree, we'll back and listen to it. We'll get it. We'll get into this with him. You can sound off in the comments and Joe will also um maybe be co hosting the l a version of I Don't Think

So Honey with you. We hope. So it's again, it's in litigation right now. It's in litigation. It's in the courts um, which have been changed irrevocably under this administration. Absolutely, I haven't seen you since the Cave hearings. Oh it's been a while. We haven't. We haven't done a live episode in studio and we haven't recorded in in a bit because you have your new um gig. And yes, since since then, the world's turned upside down, found out

the world's ending. But let's bring in our guests. Let's bring in our guests. This is one of my favorite people in the world. We got that off the top. We're my favorite people in the world. Welcome Joel him poster. Yeah, here on your second favorite podcast, Joe. Joel has a new favorite podcast. It is It's still in the Forever Dog cinematic universe. Is you used to call it the law schools racist cinematic. It's incredible. And now it's been demo. We've been demoted, truly be demo. I got we got

dinner the other night. He was I think I was the first person he saw in this great city. And he looked me in the eyes and said, I'm recording my my favorite podcast tomorrow. And I knew that we weren't recording with him until Friday today, and I said, oh, okay, that's hurtful. The timeline is completely wrong. Here, by the way, not the first person that I saw then tomorrow. I don't know. You're just such a sensation list um. I I love this podcast. You know, this podcast will always

be my favorite. But I have to say I moved to l a a year ago, and I rely on these podcasts to spend time with my friends while I'm driving around my car. And your podcast has simply gotten too big. You're getting big names like Scott Thompson and Angela and aren't they your friends? They are not my friends. Okay, I am their friend, they are not my friend. Okay. But and it's just right now, Cat and Pat they're

having on all my friends and comforting to me. I guess Joel is saying to Cat and Pat, you know, stay small, don't go to bid don't if you if you listen to my episode of their podcast. I did say that to their faces, and they did find it to be very offensive. So I can't wait to listen to that. But by the time this comes out, that'll have come out. Yea, yeah, you'll be all over the Forever Dog airwaves. Did you do you? Did you do? On offecial? And I did unofficial experts. I did so.

The woman who books all the Forever Dog podcast guests, she said, hey, when are you in town? And I said, actually, I'll pull up the email if you guys are fucking but her about me having a new favorite podcast, but she said, we'd love to get you on some of the other podcasts, and I said, I don't want to be on any some I was like, I don't want to be on some other podcasts. I was like, if I have to, I was like lost Culturist priority number

one and I have time, I'll do seek treatment. And then I was like, and then you can choose a third and go and I think it's a great choice. It's a great choice. It was like, this was the right choice. I think good of everything on the network. I was like, that's what I want to hear as you Listendy and Murray. I was it was so fun. They are the funniest people. And um, I was being a little bit, but thank I knew what I wanted and I asked for it. Thank you, thank you. It's

exemplary exactly. So Joel, how is this why I were literally catching up because I was very late and I'm sorry and I apologize. How is this ais? Events? The Asis event was fine? Um, it was they The thing is they asked for r s vps, They knew how many people were coming to the event, and they still chose to have it in the smallest space imaginable. That was truly. It was like it was like a Z shaped room, so it was mostly hallway, um, and a Z shaped room was so sarry. Yeah, it really did

feel like a like a Stephen King novel. You just couldn't move. There was literally like tables in the middle of every room. Um. But it was great. Everyone who was cool and hip and dress as well was there. I'm sorry, but we were not invited and I'm a weird frequent Hello. I owned several garments from a stop. No, here's the thing. Patty Harrison famously did a branded SPA con with ASAS, and she told me that they corrected her and said it's actually pronounced a sauce, which I said, no,

it's you. You were saying. It's like a gift shift there. It's a gift shift situation. I don't give a ship. They're supposed to be jif. No, there's there's not a soul that says a sauce and they need to know that. But they are British, they're British company. Yeah. I know they're sucking British because they always fault me to the UK and and they show fucking pounds even after I tell them. After the million times American American, American American

just like you, and so thank you. Wait, I just want to say that there's been a lot of slander about a sauce this thus far on the episode, and I just want to say, because I had like a new coat, I love sce and I would go to any other events truly wearing head Toto asis right now. I like that shirt a lot. Actually, thank you. It is just a plane tea that got sucked up in the wash and now people think it's better. Really, yeah,

is that a plane? Was it a white tea? What a great segment for as Also I'm looking at you wearing it and I'm like, oh, it's just that I wish I had like a good body. Okay, okay, well what are we gonna do? Not talk about it? You're walking around with it. You're walking around with this body, all this body. I feel like this is so this is like always the time of year almost that I've

recorded this podcast with you guys. In every single year when I record this podcast, I am like coming either out of a depressive phase into a manic phase, or have just been yelled at um by a good friend's boyfriends. So where are you? I think I'm I'm I'm as I was the same time last this time last year, exiting a dark phase I think, and the year before that, I was yelled at by our good friend's birth boyfriend.

Uh do you remember? Wait? Wait? Oh? It was just like flow like flow into this podcast recording and I'm always just like I'm always so stressed, I'm sweating, and I'm just like, Okay, let's talk through this. You know what, I you know what? You know what happened in therapy today that I'm obsessed with. I was venting. I was like, I don't know, like I just got dumbed this week and work is kind of crazy and all this stuff, and then like I'm always calling those things into question.

I'm always second guessing myself in those areas. And then she goes, Okay, tell me one area in your life that you are certain about that you never question ever. And I was like, oh God, do I have anything? And then I said, my friends, my friendships I never question. And then she asked why and I said, because she was who was why do you think that is? And I said because I just I'm I'm very lucky to have them, and they've just I've invested a lot of time into them and it's just been a matter of

time and volume. And she was like, well, great, then that might apply to other areas as well. I was like, oh great, So Joel, this is just just for you to say, maybe have the same exercise where you're just you just examine the things that you are certain about. And then I don't know, I'm not. I I was when I before I moved out way and then, um, you know, we had like many relationships I had to say goodbye, and now I'm trying to find one in

l A. But it's tough. I'm I'm on the road like three weekends out of three weeks out of the month usually, and so it's hard to like keep that relationship alive. It's hard to keep any relationship alive. It is it is, you know, and um, you know that's but that's that's an investment in a relationship that you would make. I know, but I honestly like, I found it so hard. It took me years in New York to find a therapist that I vibed with because it's

always it's it is like dating. It's like dating. And I would always get these people who were I and this is this is awful to say, but I just kept meeting therapists that were dumber than me, and it was just really frustrating to theist. Yeah, and it was just like like and they were it was just like making the most basic observations and like and I was like,

let me do a shortcut from you. I'm going to say this, which is covering for this, and it a total fabrication because this is how I'm really feeling, and You're going to tell me this and then I'm going to reach this point. Can I go, now, who is that? Like that's like a character that's like a famous character, someone that's the way ahead of everyone else. Yeah, like like a like a and the social network like sort of like happen. It's like a doctor house thing. It's

like seven. Can I say, speaking of characters? Can I say? Because I don't know who what you're talking about, but I do know what I'm thinking. And I'm thinking right now about my favorite type of character in any movie. And me Patty and Study just wanted to go see Venom and you are full. You were both famously invited to the showing of Venom, and you both pulled out that night, Um, and I got blindsided by both the location and the time change. It was Williamsburg Cinemas at

ten pm. And also we would have gone earlier. Well you guys said I, we would have gone at nine. This is a so electric for the listeners to hear. I'm just saying, like we could have been there, and a lot about to say. This has really gone from like you interviewing ch Angela and big names to just three friends, like talking nonsense. One thing, because now I'm going to talk about culture. Has my favorite kind of character you could ever put in any movie, which is

dumb fucking scientists Jenny Slate. The only person who understood what movie she was in was Jenny Slate, who knew it was fucking stupid. And she was like, okay, yeah, so I'm a scientist and clearly what you can see as we have here is a mutation and you know, like all these things, and she's saying these big words, huge words, and she's Jenny Slate, but but she's a scientist, so we're buying into that. Great, So she is like

to doing her things. And then the character and this is such a trope in these movies, which is scientists who can literally in ours create like magic science, like we're going to make what's the symbiotic mutation whatever occur and like on a whim, like it's ready in days and then but they can't see even half a step in front of their own actions until they are dead fifteen minutes later, Like they just are so stupid. Spoiler alert, she dies, yes, dies, and the way, and this time

I know that she would. She knew exactly what movie she was in because the character spoiler alert realizes that she's going to die and she goes no, no, And it's just so funny. And I'm not saying that, I'm not saying that Jenny Slate is not fantastical. I think she is phenomenal in it because she said no, and also there was truly a some of her line rtings. I was like, you get this movie, baby, at least she tried something that she Williams didn't make any effort.

If you like, if you like a dumb scientist in movies, then I recommend The Predator, which is toe to toe with Jurassic World following Kingdom as the worst movie I've seen all year. You didn't even have fun watch watching Kingdom. I did not have a single ound of joy in my body when I left that theater, I was so mad. I think you're right time when that man turned around in another pretty dumb scientist and he was like, nasty woman. I turned to my friend Sam and I we screamed.

We screamed in each other's faces, and we could not believe that in the year of our world they were making a nasty woman reference in this fucking dinosaur movie. Here's how you know that, Like it's all just like truly a waste. Because there's that great moment in Jurassic World with lap Gus and um J Jake Johnson, which there's obviously I can't believe it in a way the

best part of the movie. And kiss wasn't in the drastic they should have been the stars because the moment when he's going up to kiss her and she's like, oh, I have a boyfriend, that's like truly so smart and I had never seen that before and I was like, there was someone who was capable of writing that joke in that scene, and like the rest of the movie is this. And I didn't hate Drassic World. I hate a dress girl Fallen King that wasn't even fine. It

was so rough. It was just oh and but like, honestly, I think the Predator might have been worse. If you can imagine, if you can imagine, did you see Venom yet? No? No, I haven't seen Venom yet because famously you changed the time and the location. Wait, who's the dumb scientist and the predator Olivia? I stand I actually do. I think she's I love. I think I stand behind her with what she you know, did during the press tour for the movie, which you know, with the pedophile, the sex

vendor on on the set. I do. But I find her just a wet noodle, just as a performer. I mean. The thing is is, so a lot of people think Aaron Rodgers is closeted. They do, and oh, yeah, I guess this is like a real midwet like this is a Chicago gay Twitter Like, um, this was like if you were if you were gay in Chicago in twenty like thirteen, you were very aware. No, but he's he plays for the Packers and so Midwest you know, we're

all aware. But I've always said that, like if you are going to have a beard, like make it someone that is completely invisible to gay men, and so in that way, Oliviamon is the idea, Wow, you are a quints so but it's just like, why all these k a w nt fucking like historical beards like Liza Manelli. It's like, what are you thinking? Yes, of course you want to hang out with Liza, But I mean the

best beard of all time? Are not not the best, but I think the most prolific beard of all time may actually be our sweet sister Democrat Party and his Democrat Party, Democrat Party. I think our community really made a mistake when we started calling the women that game end date to cover for themselves beards instead of wigs. We can, we can, actually that's actually a little culture number sixty one. We should have been following them way.

But we can change it. We'll change it. Yeah, I don't know if we can know, because now all these little gays are saying wig, Yeah, we're old. Now old, isn't that? It's tough. It's really hard to go to these colleges now and perform in front of college because they're all like Charlie Peu and I'm like, what it's booth? I couldn't care less if it's pew with pooth or puff. I would love puff. Now I don't. I don't love that.

But the thing about, like as Pat says, these young girls, is that, um, you know we were we were then,

but but but a decade ago. Yeah, And I guess I have to like I always have to think when I go to these colleges and before I step out onto those stages, I think to myself, remember what you were like at twenty and I was like I was still like a real human being, and um, I it is this weird mental block in my head where I'm like every time I go to a college and like they're not real, they don't know, like they don't care

about me. I'm too old. Like half the time, when like one of the students is like, what do you want me to say about you before I bring you up, I'm just like, can you just tell them that I know jabuky young wife. I feel like I feel like that will do more to endear me than anything else, because, um, you don't know this though, but your peers are there, like I remember like when during our were you there that night when we went to the n y U

Welcome Week the stand up and the headliner was Michelle Bueau. Yeah, like it's it was. It's weird now to show with her, you know what I mean, and like know her, like I've worked with her a bunch, but it's like it's just funny because like, well there is a difference though, and this is I mean, maybe this is problematic, but

I will say there's like a difference. But when I go to a school in like Colby, Maine, you know, to going to Northwestern or like I was, I just did, like a school in San Diego, Lahoya, you know, like it's different. Like there, I do think the energy is different and like the lives that they're leading her a little bit. It's incredibly problematic of you to say, but

I guess we have to agree. But um, I think who knows, Like there's a freshman at Haverford who's going to share the build with all of us and four years what do you think their name is? Um? Truman? I just got asked out on it. Well, I so

what happened is is I worked on the show. I was working on the show and the show runners assistant and I vibed like the whole time I was showing I love that and then he's in l A too, and like I I said, I said gorgeous, I come into gorge on one of his Instagram puzzs and he do you mean? He was like, hey, I think we really got along really well, and like on set, he was like, I would love to hang out with you and drink with you. Uh, do you want to go

get a drink sometime with me? And I was like sure, and so we exchanged numbers and we've been texting and then it was his birthday last night and I was like, oh cute, and so I was like following along on his story and then the last one just said thank you to everyone who got me to twenty three, and I was like, oh, no, I don't think it matters if you couldn't tell he was twenty look not that he doesn't look to he looks about twenty five. There's like lines on my face, weren't there? The cost free

Like that's the that's tough. No, I think I do think that's tough. I Um, I guess it's like different. I don't know, We'll see. Listen. When I was twenty seven dating a twenty three year old, it was tough. And now I'm thirty and the thought of going for drinks with a I mean, the thing is, he's like, we'll probably just have sex. It's not It is just like every time I find out someone's young, now, I

just want to like suck. I mean whatever, that's the youngest person who uh, I want to say, not that young, I want to say, like I rarely date people in my own age. There's like, there's this guy, there's this guy that was like, yeah, older do do yeah? Which I prefer me and study are on the same boat, you like a crip keeper. Like I think I have always I have always wanted to date someone thirty. Yeah, So like when I was twenty three, I was dating thirty year olds, and now that I'm thirty, I will

date thirty year olds. And I think when I'm forty, I'll still want to date thirty year olds. That's the gay men's curse what I've been running the spectrum lately. I recently went on a date with a couple of dates with someone who was twenty two and also someone

who was forty. So I'm just all over Its great, But you know what's the international You know when it fucks you up, when it really scrambles your brain is when you go on a date with like someone who's in their thirties who is less emotionally mature than you, and that happens a lot. You're very emotionally, but emotionally you are in sixty eight. You wanted to date with this guy like in his thirties who would not stop talking about his acts, And I was like, you were

too old to be doing this. You must understand that this is a big, big no, no, no no. Anyway, Um, I guess that is something. What same night? Oh really, that's the same night, Yeah, that you got dumped and then you went on a date on a different Um. We were there and Bone came back from a tell phone call where a relationship or a budding situation was was nipped in the buck and he was debating whether or not to go out on a date that very night.

And I said, At first, I was like, well, are you thinking that you're going to represent yourself and have a good time. You're gonna have a good date tonight, And it was like no, But then I also thought to myself, yeah, but then you're also canceling on someone an hour before, two hours before, which I think at that point, you do have to think about their feelings. And we had another friend last night. I just won't say their name, um, but they were extremely nervous and

anxious to go on a date. And I was literally just like, you gotta go because it's so shitty to cancel right before. That would really bother me. Yeah, that would shatter me. Shatter, that would shatter me, would emotionally shatter, to be canceled, to be canceled, um on. Okay, speaking of shallow, I know that's not old. Wow, you're ready to move on, are you? No? I watched to keep

this at We're you feel this way? I feel this way. Oh, this is Matt's new catchphrase, you feel this way, which is you feel this way, which we were trying to think like maybe stylized as you the letter you capital F E E L this capital T H I S way capital W A y question mark. Okay, so there was no need to you know, there was there any that we needed to know. You feel this way all

capitals feel that the audience is with me. Okay. Um, you feel this way, which is like, oh, like, oh, that's how you feel when you get caught up guard by someone's opinion. You say you feel this way, feel this way. Um, everyone start using it might be on the merch, It might be on the merche. Speaking of the merch, by the merch, this is our promised last cultures to steep dive. And he's refused to have a discussion with me about it until this moment. Joel, Yeah,

and she was Star is Born. He's tried to bait me. He is trying to bait me. He is trying to bait I think I think that we already know what Joel stands on it. Well, yeah, because we knew even before the movie came out, because he said he was going to be contrarian no matter what. And that was a joke that this stupid bit, you are a contrarian on joke. I don't don't like this take a joke nonsense. When you said that to me in the group text, Matt,

have you ever heard of a joke? I was like, I was truly said that said that to you, you feel this way? And I literally was like, Joel, you were gonna hate the movie no matter what, And you said, nod, do you know what a joke? No? I wanted to like that movie more than I did. No one wanted to go into that movie and love it. Absolutely, no one, not a single person on this fucking planet wanted to

like that movie more than I did. But I think I think Joel was in a very like understandable place of just being like, there's no way it's going to live up to all this crazy height. Let's go around the table and talk about our feelings and opinions about Stars Born, starting with our esteemed guests. Now, I think

you guys should go first. Okay, you go first. UM went in with very high expectations that I deep down there was a kernel of no way, no way is it going to live up to this When in I had just come from a weird day at work, and I was like, just absolutely, we want to We want textures, texture. The first movie ever saw was we want Texture. So we go to this theater, time Square, ten thirty Thursday. Um, it's all of our friends, a lot of a lot of fun pals, a lot of randos, and I will

just say so the energy was very frenetic. Was just a lot happening, a lot of activity, and you know, I'm just getting really hyped up. And then we watched the movie. The first minutes or perfect, perfectly paced, perfectly performed, wonderful direction, decent writing, and then it just and then it just SAgs in the second half. And then I feel like a lot of things towards the end were unearned. Uh And I don't know what the we we don't know, uh what the point of view of the movie is,

if it's supposed to be told through Jackson. And then at the end, I feel like we're not. No one's on the same page about what the takeaway is. And the thing that ruined the experience for me was the fucking person behind me who shushed me during no it was it was a white um uh like woman presenting person and like I was like, and she shushed me, and but not only but she shushed me during the alley billboard shot. Well that's ridiculous. We just I just

couldn't stop laughing. Aaron Jackson was next to me. We both lost it. We were like giggling like schoolgirls. And then this fucking idiot goes and I gave the dirtiest look I've ever given. Our space, our space during our movie. I don't think. I don't think so, honey, Like, stop it he's that fucking sound ridiculous. Just literally used our words ridiculous. Anyway, are you good? I'm good. That's me. That That's all I have. Here's my review of the film,

and I understand that was my experience. All the audience members can understand that, Yes, I had changel on and it was I was in the afterglow of the film, and also Chandel was there, so I had to be, you know, hyperbolic with my love of the movie. Here is the t This is a complix of interest. Already, I loved it. I think that it's better than most movies. Really, I do, and I do think it will be looked back on as a good movie. However, Gaga, I think

she's amazing, amazing. I think Radley Cooper was fantastic. I thought the directing for the most part was excellent, and I think for his first movie, it's like a huge victory. I thought it looks great. I think the most of the music is phenomenal. Where it loses me and this is like me as like someone who studied screenwriting, who fucking I can't stand this ship is She's the only

female character in the whole movie, and that sucks. There's Gail, and there's there's Gail Haalsy, Dave Chappelle's wife, nameless, nameless, and then one of the little girls, one of the little girls whatever, and then Gaga and I just feel like, here's how you fix the movie. Make that ridiculous British cartoon of a manager a woman, fucking Casscarrie Coon in that part, watch her get I'm telling you just making a female character, because hey, the character has no female

influence in her life. When she's motherless, she has no female friend. She at with people who perform as women. She's the kind of check who punches dudes at bars, cops at bars. And then you're going to tell me that this sucking literal cartoon of a British manager is going to come in and say, hey, change everything about you that's working musically, which was working. She's becoming like a Sarah Barella's figure. And then she turns into fucking

Katy Perry in a second. Change your whole look, which no one's ever brought up a problem with her look. Her hair looked great when it was brown. And also, I hate your husband and I'm gonna pit you against him. It's like, why the fund do we accept this character

soul wholeheartedly in her life. I understand he's a powerful person in the music industry, but I think the movie could have helped itself by deepening that are like exploring that thing there where there's no female influence in her life or but but where you're saying is it's ridiculous that the most influential agent of change in that movie is that fucking manage, right, because it's totally unearned. It

it comes out of nowhere. And I think that kind of crazy scene where he sits with him at with Jackson at the house and says, you know that it's a matter of time and so drink again, and also you're gonna bear a danger to her and all these things. It's like, if this is a female character, at least we can understand this is coming from a place of like real knowledge about maybe what she's going through or whatever. But it's not. It's this ridiculous character. And I think

that was weird. The fact that they made her into this pop star was weird because we see all the time, uh, singers like Sarah Burrellis, singers like you know, like any sort of like a dolt a don't contemporary scooting artists like that's what she could have been. Also, like, if you're gonna set the set the movie in country music, there's tons of pop country artists like Marion Morris for example, that are successful doing what she's doing. Make her into

that kind of artist. This felt cartoonish to me. And also my last thing with it is, yes, I understand we have a temple to follow with the other stars born, but that this movie does glamorize suicide. It does, and it's it says like he died and now she can fully be the star that she's always been, and it was actually better for her that he passed away in a way, that is what that's what's happening. Her true

artistry only came out after he killed him. But and also like I just want to say, there's no way he writes that song. It's not in his musical language. And I felt that movie trying to be other iconic movies where a pop star things at the end a little bit. But I thought God was fantastic. I think it's a melodrama, and therefore I'm willing to let a lot of these things go. I cried three times watching the film, and I really enjoyed it and did see it three more times after I saw it the first time.

I loved the movie. I think that it will be nominated for a lot of Oscars. I think it will win a few Oscars. Not convinced on Gaga. Pretty convinced Bradley Cooper will win Best Actor. What I think they're not gonna be about. It's not a credit. It's actually really light unless they Sam Sam feels like a lock. Sam Elliott. Yeah, I liked his performance very much. That was one of the times I cried. I thought Proudley Cooper was excellent. I think the acting in the movie

is fantastic, fantastic, and I think that she was great. Wow. Um. I hope gay Icon gay ally andrewdyce Clay gets nominated to him sharing scenes with fucking Lady Gaga. Fucking if it's good enough for her, it's not good enough for you. Oh bo, And you need a brush your teeth, Yes you do. I wasn't saying that to you. I was just saying like you, as in like the the universally, the Royal, you have a beautiful, gorgeous teeth. Thank you.

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is Michelle Branch's other group, the Other Project. Um. Anyway, I was gonna say, why did you do that to me? As a bob, why did you do that to me? Okay, it's at the it's a Diane Warren added to the list of Diane Warren classics. I said, here's her triumvirate because you love me. I don't want to miss a thing that I can't stop talking about why you don't know me? And also, I will say Shallow is a great moment in movies. Yes, yes, yes, now Joel, Joel, Oh, he's am I allowed to speak and I allowed to

say what I want to say. I haven't been able to express these opinions. Here's the thing, here's what I'll say. I will I agree with Bowen. I think the first forty five minutes is incredible. I think it's so textured. I love the scene in the gay bar when they're in the parking lots incredible. I think one moment it's like writing one on one. It made me so fucking hard. Was this fucking cheese puffs in the back? Do you like cheese? No? And then we just see the driver

eating it in the background. Love it. Chef's kiss, great singing, Shallows together, a great movie moment. Love. I think the performances are fine. Um. I think it is one of the worst scripts I have ever sat through in a long time, this prestige level movie. There's a line when Lady Gaga literally sits across from Bradley Cooper and says the phrase, I normally write my songs on the type

of writer, and it goes unaddressed. It does unaddressed. I do not under I almost like I wanted to set myself aflame when I heard her say that, And I was like, and there was no like p O v as like, oh if it was if they made it like if Bradley, if they just like shot a shot of Bradley Cooper like looking horrified, I would have been satisfied.

And the and then and the other thing is is that the timeline is insane, and I Bradley Cooper has said in interviews that he specifically did not want to have a montage or anything that like an Ali getting famous montage. But there are so many scenes where you literally I was like, oh, this is being shot, and that people are reacting and speaking as though this is four months later, and then you find that it's like two days later. And then it's like, what exactly is

the timeline of her rise? And even more confusing, his fall makes no sense. How do you go from selling out his stadium to then shoot doing a pharmaceutical like conference. It did, and then he goes back to being a performer at the Grammys. It makes no sense. And then when he disappears and then she shows up and finds him. Has she been searching for him for a night? A week? How many days has been he wakes up? He wakes up?

Um terrible. I think one of the greatest mistakes that this movie made is that it sets up a very compelling conflict for Bradley Cooper that none of the other movies touched on, which is the hearing loss tonight. It's great, it's great, it's a great thing. It's a great thing to layer in. And then they completely drop it, and then he ends up killing himself because the manager was mean to him. It makes no well. I bought that he was very sick. I bought him committing suicide because

I bought him as very mentally ill. I just don't like the way that it was handled, especially Sam Elliott saying, you know, this wasn't your fault, it was his fault. That message is really problematic. I also think there are so many weird emotional jumps that happened in the movie. I don't think the punch makes sense. I sense the punch is comes from nowhere. It is not does not seem motivated by any human emotion that we have ever written.

She doesn't seem drunk enough. She doesn't seem drunk. He didn't. The guy didn't seem aggressive we're supposed to buy. I guess that she is just triggered by the the idea of someone taking a picture with him. It makes no sense, um you for Also, you left out a female character, m No, the his wife from Bora. By the way that she's at she's a comedian. I'm sorry I had to.

You know, she was great in that scene. Listen, if Tony Colette, if Tony Collette can win a Boston Critics Association Award for her turn in the Hours for like left fifteen minutes of stage time, then I believe that that woman can can win about some break that you really have just got. But that is such, that is the most eligate thing you said since you, Jalda, know that Tony Colette one a sucking Boston Boston Critics Associate Association award for her work in the Hours. I think

Dave Chappelle seen is awful. I really bro really think that you can tell. Here's here's a little thing that I noticed as well, is that The thing is is the bros Are so clearly written, but in Chappelle's actual like vocal like pattern, he says man because there is a line where he literally says man and Row in the same sentence. And it's so distracting because it's clear that those bros Are not natural for him, but the

man's are. So it's it was so distracting. And that song, that last song could be a song in any movie. It feels like a different from It's from a different movie I when I knew Diane Warren. And and also we haven't talked about this yet the entire movie, and I know that like there's some argument about like what the p o v of the movie is, but I'm sorry. It does feel very clearly like it has an antipop agenda that is like weird and insidious in a way

that I don't understand. And also I do think that why did you do that to me? While I did hear it, hearing it in the gay bar, in the gay club, it's a great experience and I do love to jam to it. It is very fun. But that performance on SNL is Jenna Moroni on thirty Rock. It is such a parody of was a good pop performances

and you're supposed to laugh at it. Yeah, it's it is Muffin top A Jason and and that made me matt because it's like, well, and then I took out the dancers because I'm an artist, and it's like, oh, so you don't do that. These dancers are gonna be like no, we actually have to work. This is there's a union bit. Yeah, I feel yeah. Also, I mean, look, I think it's I think it's a problem with the fact that they made her into that kind of artist. She did it. There was nothing about what she was

doing and why he even liked her. The manager to begin with that said let's turn this person into Lady Gaga because we didn't even know she could extrac with four albums before she went that full. And here's the thing, I actually think it very much mirrors what literally happened with Katy Perry, because Katy Perry was a warped tour artist. She was a musician first and then she became the sort of you know, cartoon that she is now. But

I agree with you about the timeline. I would buy that happening because it literally really happened to Katy Perry and we see it like happen over time with many artists who have to who feel like they have to sexualize themselves or do that. But because the timeline was unclear, it felt jarring and there was really no moment where it was like, you're actually really capable as a pop

star like this. And another thing that bothered me is when she was telling Bradley Cooper about her meeting with the guy and she was like, he really likes that song from the diner. It's like, when did he hear that song? Yeah? That made no sense. And here's the here's the other biggest here's the other biggest problem with the second half is that it loses track of Lady Gaga completely. I do not understand what Ali wants in that second half of the movie. I didn't understand what,

like is her conflicts other than Bradley Cooper's alcoholism. It

just like I don't. It's like her journey stops as soon as the star is born, you know, and then like and then it turns into a full his vehicle and it doesn't I don't know, because like we're so locked into her the wish fulfillment of her turn me in the first half of the movie, and that is compelling to me in a way that like, because listen, this movie is a can't melodrama in general, it's like redoing a myth, like where I did not go into this.

Once I realized that this movie is a melodrama and judging it on that, grading it on that curve, it's like, fine, it doesn't need to reinvent the wheel. It does not need to surprise me with its storytelling. But there is an interesting that you can do a well trod story well. And I think the first half of the movie does that. I think the first half of the movie reinvents that myth in a way that's really compelling and interesting to watch.

And I think the second half of the movie does nothing but pile cliche on top of cliche on top of its well established world. It completely leaves a well established and where do they live? Where do Ali and her father live? That is a mystery and the other yeah, they'll have Jersey accents. It's crazy. Oh and here's uh, listen, I could go on. I actually think anything. Uh, Andrew Day's Clay is better than Sam. He's really got that too.

I was like, I think he's it's really good. I think Sam uh Elliot Elliott has some real, like hard scenes to pull off. The scene work switch that was such a switch as soon as they got into what we called in theater school, the kisser hit range. I started speaking about three centimeters away from each other's faces, like it was a switch that like again did not feel motivated and like you could tell like Sam Elliott was as an actor, was like, I guess I have

to fill in the blanks here and get there. Myself self motivated to get there, but there's nothing in the script that like I did not understand the switch from the like anger to like true tears. Him backing out of the driveway was great. I think Andrew dice Clay, if he had one more scene, would have a better chance of being nominated for Best Supporting than Sam Neil Well.

That that last scene where he's like um saying, you know the twelve notes thing that was supposed to be a scene between Andrew dice Clay and Lady Gaga and Radley Cooper at the last second called Sam Elliott and said had to be him because he wanted that connection between and here's what I'll say about Bradley Cooper's performance,

and I'm torn. It's so funny because I have, I have, I've changed my position depending on who I've spoken to a number of times, because there is like a literal whisper network of gay men in l A who like, do not like this movie, and are too afraid to speak out about it. I know that I'm about to shed about a thousand followers on Twitter because if my my views, you know, I think everyone, I think everyone. This movie isn't perfect. Know, I've seen people. There are

people going so hard. I saw someone who very lightly was like, you know, the movie sort of goes downhill after they sing the Shallows together, And a critic jumped in the thread and was like, that's the point. The point is that you know they're the rest of their relationship is chasing after that. And listen, I understand that that could be an interesting avenue to take for this movie, but you can also make it interesting to watch as well.

It doesn't have to like the audience doesn't have to feel the malaise about what the characters are feeling for that to work. And the other and the last thing I'll say is there are so much Kike on faces, so much frosting on faces, and does acne not exist in this world? Does that is everyone just getting chemical peels every single fucking day, because oh my god, I couldn't.

I couldn't watch the cream cheese, like when she announces that she like is signed, or when she says the manager thing and he's obviously drunk and he takes the kike and puts it in her face. I thought that was like a really good example of their I think, really good chemistry. But then give them that. But then the next one was where it was like you you were nervous, as the audiences, as the audience just being like wait a minute. And that was a moment for me where I was like maybe I was just not

responding in the right way. But I was like, oh, I don't think this movie knows is pulling off. I think it was supposed to be supposed to be a little bit. I think that is the microcrossm of the whole movie. Like that is the movie where small it's like, oh, does this movie know what it's trying to do? After I always remember us this way the the Bread and

Magic comes in. It's it's interesting because I do feel like people either every single person almost that I've spoken to who's left that movie has been like, Lady Gaga is great, but I actually think Bradley Cooper is is overrated or actually don't didn't really like Gaga and I think Bradley Cooper is a revelation. And I've spoken to many people on both sides, and every time I've been like, yes, I agree, Um, you could win an Oscar for that

scene alone. I apologize. Do the thing is is I just I ultimately don't think that you you I walked away from this movie I think feeling any strong feelings differently about them. I love them both, and but I guess for me with Bradley Cooper is I did not find it a transformative enfix of a performance to not be distracted by the fact that I was watching Bradley

Cooper do this character. Okay, I disagree with that, and I think, well, and I think it's it's it's sort of like that is that is a me issue because I was not able to like turn off that part of my brain and I think, like, yeah, that is

that that's the cure, that's the remedy. I will say, Can I say something, Um, It's very funny because Matt was over at my apartment before we were very late to this recording, and Matt was just looking up gags for a game show at his show with Dave, and he was playing clips of Titanic of Rose, of the Course It's seen, and just we were just quoting that dialogue back and forth because it's just in our bones, and we were just laughing at how stupid the writing is.

And I'm realizing, you know, the money's gone. Of course it's gone. You remind me every day. It's like terrible writing choice is ever okay? And I think you distress. Why are you being so selfish? If it's truly so silly? Script is so bad? I think this, And whoever that critic was that you quoted as saying, like it feels

like Titanic. It's like the buzzes, It's like Sasha Stone is being so extra okay, But I feel like it's it's it's it does feel in some way comparable type to Titanic, where this cultural conversation is maddening and we're talking around in circles. It's La La Land again. And I will say this, it's the same complaints I had with La La Land, where the script is horrid and there's a first half of the movie that is brilliant,

and then you get that fucking stupid I'm sorry. La La Land has one of the worst scenes we've seen in modern cinema history. Is the argument between them when I decided to break up, when when he's made her dinner or whatever, and the literally it's literally they have an argument because the movie needs them to break up. It's not earned, it's not motivated. They're great, but they can't even I do. I agree that that scene is bad,

but I also find it laughable. Some of the people who stand so hard for a star is born, who went so hard in on La La Land, and I do not think that the quality wise these movies have a gulf between them. I really like. And the thing is is I liked La La La La La La, and I like fine. I think there's better acting in La La Land than there is I think deserve. I can't remember who else was up for it that year.

I can't imagine she did because but but I do love her, and I think she was gray but and I think she's probably better than Gaga is in this movie. But and the music is better in the Stars Born that I would definitely like Passagin Paul. I could say some things, but oh, I just think they're they're bad musical theater writers. I think they they're good individual songs. Here's the thing. Here's the thing, and it is it

is the most emblematic in the Greatest Showman. Is that because they these boys came up in in the song cycle generation of musical theater writers. They're good at writing an individual song like Waving through a Window is one of the most gorgeous like musical theaters. Uh, songs for that Boy and for Forever as great as well. But like some a lot of these, like especially in The Greatest Showman this is Me. I love it, you know,

I love the Greatest. But the problem is is none of those songs moved the plot forward in a classically like musical theater way. It's this is who is she singing to? Who is the who is the who is she singing to? What does she want at the end of the song? Does she win? Does she lose? Like as a dramatic writer questions, you should be asking yourself

about the songs of your musical. The only song that does that, and the Greatest Showman is I think a Million Dreams like the very first song, but there's a man. There are three songs and Greatest Showman are fucking You could watch peint dry and it will be more exciting. I love a Million Dreams. There are three bops in a row. It's rewrite the Stars, Bob City Bitch, this is this is me, Bob Deep Bop. And then Michelle Williams and her ass walking a tight rope. Mama, Oh,

rewrite the Stars. It's very good. Um. Also, I do love and never never Enough. Shout out to my friend Dance Later, who remixed never Enough. It is the e d It is the definitive e d M remix of never Enough. That was the backdrop for Wow. That's culture. But also you know that the actress that played that parts the only person that Rebecca Ferguson couldn't couldn't voice Season four or five estant that is that is about as best as you can hope for its contestant. One Yeah,

uncredited appearance. And this is Lauren already is literally touring right now with Symphonies where she walks out, sings that song and then leaves and she and she's getting paid a million a million. Oh, you have not lived until you are fucking like on the come up of Molly. Sucking song comes on in a circuit party at they am and you're scripting because it is it is such a good it's so good, that's so good. But again, what how does it move the story forward in anything?

I think because it's the moment when he falls in love with her and Michelle is like, I'm losing. Also, um, the song the duet between Hugh and Zach is pretty good too. Not a good song, but in terms of like moving moving the Platford. But even the song at the end when like he decides to like go and reopen, it is like a stirring song where it's like do do We're all and it's like it starts at zero and then there's a song and then the story is starts again in a completely same place. Zach is good.

You can miss it, you can tell you that isn't there during fucking Dirty Grandpa, I'm sorry. And he's so much hotter when he's doing musical, he really is. He's good at it, he's gonna But when he's doing these broad fraddy comedies, I'm like, I'm sorry, but you seem like everyone else right now. And he loves talents that are not what musical will we cast Zack and Zack and like Boch and Wicked. No, he could he would

be a good fierro. No, that's what I meant. Oh my god, sorry, not would you would be a good I always that this is a sad thing about being a little gay person of Keller, is that like the roles that you dream of, we couldn't have thought better for ourselves. We were like, God, I hope I get to be boxed someday because that's what I thought, That's what I thought was available to at the time. That's true. I mean, he's so good in hair spray too. He's

he's really talented. I mean, and also he plays those kinds of parts well and it's just like you don't know, I mean, I think he's too roided out now. That's this is the sucked up thing about l A that I've really and this has actually helped my body is

more feel a lot. Moving to l A wildly moving to l A has helped my body image issues because I am now so privy to how prevalent steroid usages and especially in our community, and like everybody that I thought was attainable like just through hard work and diet alone is not. And it's just like and now I've I've become a real expert in spotting and being like and just being okay with like the progress that I'm making because and the thing is is I have nothing

morally against steroids. I if I had the backnee real estate to give up to do if you wanted the knob nipples, if I if I listen, I love my genitals, but I truly do not have a centimeter to give up with my balls, you know, like like there, it's just like I'm walking a fine line as it is, and I just need all of the space down there that I can get, and so I cannot do the steroids.

But the it, like my thing is is like all these Instagram models who are like, you can get here too, if you just like follow my program and give me forty dollars and I'll give it to you. It's so disons actually, speaking of venom, Tom Hardy Bisexual Icon is one of the only people who's done one of those movies in recent history. When he was baying in the dark Night. There's like press junket interviews with him where they're like, how did you gain all this way for

the role? Did you eat a lot of fish? And he's like, no steroids. It's just like, yeah, he was Like I think he was a little bit cheecker about than that, but like he's like one of the only people who like fully to be like because it's like all the Chris is there's no way they all got there. I'm sorry. S Worth's body is freakish. Chris Hemsworth's body is it's like carved out of stone. It's Evans. Yeah,

and yeah, Pine is pretty natural. That looks just like he goes to the gym, you know whose body I always see on Instagram And I'm like, I would kill the out of this body, which I probably I probably would have to sell my soul to the devil is cold Haynes. He looks like he doesn't eat though. Coulton, No,

he has to eat his ship and he's huge. He's so skinny, that's and what do you mean like he's so his body fat percentage is very low, which means he probably does use steroids because it's really difficult to be that large without having I'm sure his body fat is like at six or seven percent, and he's large and lean, and that is Colton Haynes. Yes, he's large. Yeah. Have you ever seen him? And I never seen him in person. He's a big boy. He's a big boy. O. God,

you know I didn't. I didn't think of him as being big. Yeah. Well, I mean, did you see him rough Night where he plays the stripper? Yeah? I didn't. Oh yeah, I don't remember it. Well, I don't on screen. I'm always just like I never really understand like what depth perception. I guess sure by the way rough Knight just I think I saw it on a plane on a plane. That might like be like influencing my review of it, but I think it's like truly the funniest movie.

Do you feel do you feel like movies are better on planes? I do? Oh, okay. Always a guy who dumped me like had this whole thing where he was like, you have to drink a glass of white wine before you get on this plane and watch Greatest Showman because you will fucking lose it. And well, the altitude really does suck you up in a big way too, Because I have sobbed so many times on planes watching movies where I'm like, why am I crying watching this movie? Again? Um?

But is the what not? Is that the internship or the intern the and Hathaway Robert wept. I love them, I will say. I sobbed watching the live action Beauty and the Beast recently on the plane. And here's another hot take. Live action Beauty and the Beast, don't do this. It's better than you have said that, and you're it's

not better. It's not better. I will say if I were to if I were watching the cartoon, if I were watching the cartoon, I were watching the cartoon, I would say, I have some notes, And then if I watch the live action I would be like, Okay, they took some of my notes because here's the things, here's we need to recast the dishwasher who's playing Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing live action solves story wise for me? Is that A I do like that they

made Bell the inventor in the live action agency. I think it's it's a better play. I think too. They solve a huge problem with the cartoon, which is why does no one remember this castle exists? Until all of the events of this movie. Yes, but they only that's only from the live action. The whole town forgets. And then they add this actually truly dark layer, is that all the servants who are now fucking items in the in the castle have fan families in the town that

have forgotten all about them, and that they're reunited. And then the other thing is there's this urgency in the live action because there's not only will they stay clocks and dusters and stuff like that, but they lose their their agency, they lose like their humanity, basically like they're slowly turning more and more into and out of objects,

which is terrific. And then also Audre McDonald and the piano are married in the live action, and there is a very sad sort of undercurrent of this subplot where they haven't seen each other in years because she's a fucking chest of drawers up in her room and he's the grand piano and so they're trapped and they can't see each other. Wow, it's really sad and it's dark, and it's dark. As a screenwriter, you must appreciate. I appreciate these changes. But the fact of the matter is

they add songs which slow the movie down? Do they just They also add that weird subplot, which doesn't exactly work. It doesn't add anything. And also, Emma Watson does sound. Emma Watson sounds like a dishwash. She sounds like a Cassio keyboard. She sounds like it sounds like you're doing scales on a She's like she's practicing. Is good. I don't know, I actually I and this might be just shout out to Sudie Green, who once texted me, Emma Stone is amazing. I love her. She is hermione and

carries that legacy. And I said Emma Watson, babe, and she goes fuck, but it was too late and had already been posted to Instagram. That's something no one knows about. Commonly commonly masses up celebrities names. She once called Christine Baranski Christie Brinkley when she was one of my favorites. She's a child of immigrants. Stop o g who faced Christine Bransky. Chris Colford was Chris Koffner. That's I mean,

that's fair. Though he's a secret hottie too, would bang okay, I feel like he was he was he doing stuff. He's not really doing anything. And he actually wrote a movie. He wrote a movie good for him, but I don't know if it was received. But I remember towards the end of Glee, like I would check back in with Glee because in the beginning he was like, you know, dorky looking Chris Kolfor and then at the end they like did his hair, he got a little body on

and I was like, oh, Shore, that's that game. It's such a baby faced money you know, don't get money money. What were you about to say, Jolie, it's not important. No, you guys have you're having fun. It's cool. What well you know you're having what's going on? I still don't understand how to use that catch face, Like okay, so so let's say I'll be like, um, Jennifer Hudson does not have a good voice. Do you feel this way? Yes? Exactly, that's it. That's it. Imagine saying those words. But that's

just like an extreme example. We should shout out at this point the group text that Mujoel and Nicole Silverberger on, which has no name, but it's basically the voice it is. It is the three people in our lives that talk about the boss and watch the voice regularly. It's very difficult. It's a great season right now. It's great. It's good. It's good. I mean the judges are are good. Yeah, I'm good. Comb The show is not about the contestants. The show will never create a star. Never say something

the trees. It's mission. It does it does not, it does not because I don't think the mission was ever to be like American Idol, We're going to create a superstar. I think the mission from the beginning was this is a show where four judges compete. No, I really do think it started up because the thing is to look at the careers of the people that's the four that started. They were not a listers at the time. They the voice was not getting a listers from the start. They're

only getting a listers now. You wouldn't consider at the time. First of all, I think Christina was not five was a huge band. It was a huge band, but he But the thing is is we're a huge deal, not in terms of current records, in terms of being a celebrity. But she she was a has been celebrity at that point. I don't think what was her hit? Let that be love here here. This is the first time the first time. That's you need to see treatment. That's a great song.

And then Celo at the time was like Celo was big before he was like doing whatever he was doing, selling math, two Kids or whatever the fuck you got caught doing. Blake Shelton was a huge country artist. There you go. So but I think I think that Kelly, Jennifer, Blake and Adam now it's a different. This is the problem is that the show doesn't know what its mission is. I think that's my theory, even though I I don't watch the show. It is a place to come on

and rehab your career if you're a pop star. That's the thing. I mean, that's what went Stefani did. It's a place to launch your next project. As do you hear that the sounds of people honking out there is there is like Christina Aguilera and her fans and her fourteen fans out there, like how dare you? I'm an a listener. Christina's out there, and I mean she's fine. I just I don't know. I do love I love the other iterations of the voice too. I love Voice Australia.

When I was in Australia, I watched so much Voice Australia and they did some fucked up shipped to people there. They did some fucked up like they had these brothers on and they did this whole package and it was like we're very competitive and we're both hot and we're both going to get on the Voice. And then they auditioned one after the other and then one on one gets on and the other does not, and it is They do that ship a lot, though it's heartbreaking not expected.

I'm the new American Idol, which I fully hope doesn't come back. There was like this one girl who was like, I want to be a pop star and I'm my name is like mackensas or something, and mckensas, I'm from whatever town and girl, I'm a pop star. Okay, look at my short short dress and my my fucking amazing hair. And the sister was like, Ali, Hi, my name is um Rebecca and I am her sister, and um, you know, I played the guitar. Definitely, it's one of my interests.

But I'm here to watch her. Like Katie Perry listens to mckensas thing and she's like, let me take me down, Like I'm a damn I know, and they're like, wow, that was kind of good. Wow. She's like, I have a sister, and they're like wow, let's see her. And she just comes in with her guitar like what am I doing here? It's so staged, and she does this like transcendent performance of like fu Can and they're all crying and they're like, you're a star. You can both

go to Hollywood, but you're a star. Mckensas is like, um, hello, what's about me? Mackensas, you never heard them again? I love this play. This one play off Broadway, bitch, take it off. It's show Rebecca. I will do it, do it? I mean, man, I are trying to write the show that. I just had this idea where we should write. I want. I want to see our next our next live show, to be our next play, to be like Charlie's Angels.

Ish you say, our next play, because before you all knew who we even were, we were doing ours nova show called night Soap, which is truly my proudest work. It's our greatest effort and there's no record of it, no record of it. We might do it again. Um to play right here, play right? I haven't written a play in years. Don't you've written for the screen. Yeah, plays for the screen, the screen, and they're I'm working on new scripts. Oh maybe trying to get staffed soon, Okay, okay,

getting make an effort, I hope. So it's going to be a little Lost Angeles baby with me. I think I'm gonna go in January, don't see, I'm going I'm gonna be We're gonna start our own podcast called I'm Gonna Become one of the l A Gays, and we're going to play that game with our phones on our forehead with the only best supporting actress winners. Wow, that

was the most stressful moment in my entire life watching you. No, I wasn't shady, but like I was just like, oh, I'm out of my It's a very different edge I will say out there and I can talk about it because I know none of them support me and are listening right now. I don't think any of them. I love my friends. I do. I do. I love my friends out there so much. They're so important to me. They keep me afloat, they keep me grounded. The thing is, like, I know that if I were to move out there,

that's who I would hang out. There's there's no doubt about that. UM. But I will say like, one of the things that um, if you're moving across the country and leaving your closest friends behind. One of the things that I think was really hard for me when I was in it was that I tried to replace you guys with them and they're different, trying to make it like I tried to experience the same things that I

did with you guys with them. And as soon as I dropped that in my brain and I was like, oh no, they're like different friends, and like it's a different kind of friendship and still good like and still very deep and loving and whatever, I was so much happier and healthier because I wasn't trying to be like I need my bowen, you know, and you will be my new bowen. Like because there's there's only one is

there only one me? There's a couple of mats, there's a couple of maximum, several maths, basically beach several mats. It's hard, Elie is hard this years listen. I'll say it like I always feel like this is the other thing I feel when I do this podcast, is I am coming off the heels of like a huge professional failure in some aspect. And it's been a tough year. It's been a tough year, and it's been talking about failure is like is important as as talking about successes.

And I said this to you guys to via text the other day because people and I get that, like my version of failure quote unquote over the past year is graded on a curve over the course of my career.

And like if if if you told me six years ago that this is what failure, it would be insane, but like, and but you have to understand because like people are watching from social media, and I do think that this year for me, it's been about half as good as I've made it seen on social media, but twice as good as it is in my own mind, you know. And it's just hard, you know, like I've had Uh it just doesn't feel like I'm going into twenty nineteen with any like anything new, exact same way.

And I also know that, like if I were actually get over myself for a second and look at myself from the outside in, I'd be like, well, you're just being like a fatalist. And I know you have those sentencies as well, I've never really been like that until this year, and now it's like I think I'm experiencing things that I'm like perceiving as failures for the first time consecutively, personally, professionally, sort of emotionally, like in terms

of self confidence. And that's just, like, I think, actually a good experience because it's keys you into the reality of this industry that we're trying to do and also the reality of being an adult and the reality of life, which is that not everything just happens and either it's not as clean, it's not upward trectories like sometimes you know, and that seems like so basic to say, but we all know that about the industry, but it's just like

it's hard to expect. You have to be reminded. This is my thing, is that no matter where you're positioned, and like if you do feel like that, if you do feel like in any given moment you are being successful or failing, like there's really nothing to do with that. You don't there's nothing to do with that information. There's

not actionable thing that you do with that. So like, right, I think was something that bothers me sometimes and like this is something that actively bothers me is like, but I wish I didn't let it is just the money aspect of things, like when I feel like friends leave my tax bracket, I'm always like, oh now I And that's like something that's and maybe people that listen to this can relate to that, just like constantly trying to, especially in a creative career, like earn enough money to

keep up with the Jones is in a way because because I think with social media. I was talking to study about this today. I was talking about how I have issues with myself confidence lately, like in every area of my life, and she's like, it's social media, and

I think. I think it's like actually really true. Well, and you know, and I spoke about this earlier on a different Forever Dog podcast, But this is in the year two where I realized for myself that the apps and I still use the apps, especially when I am

on the road, traveling or whatever. But so I worked at Gay Careers famously this year and I had sex with some of the hottest people I've ever had sex with people outside of my tax bracket looks wise, you know, outside and what I realized and I have I have been connected to the my self worth to the apps and my how I test on the apps and like and in a way that like I realized, like on the boat where none of us were on apps because

that we were at sea. Um, this is that my person It is like I do so much better when I'm face to face with someone and they better in the room. I test better in the room. I test better in the room. And it is because, like I think people, my pictures are like fine, but my personality is what carries me over through you know, people want to it's weird And I've always been like personality who does not matter. Gay men do not care about personality.

But I think that's so. But there is an energy no, because I agree, Like there are certain people in my life whole you will get crushes on where I'm like, this person is physically repulsive to me. This person is disgusting. Want to I want them to ruin mesute. Honestly, I thought I had a crush on someone for such a long time, and I think it's because my brain convinced

me that I had a crush on them. Also, that person is very much a player in this social media game where like they are putting forward a very specific image.

I think every single person does that. But what I'm saying is that there is so much to do with like your brain convincing you I like this person because I feel like I should like them, and then you get to know especially in the gay community, I think it's like, oh, that attractive single person, I like them, and then you're like you get to know them, and you're like, no, that person is like a friend to me, and nothing about this energy is like sexual or romantic.

But your brain has tricked you into thinking school to do well. I found that I have to I have to.

I came to this a couple of years ago, and I think we've talked about this before, but there is as like an Asian person in the gay community, there is a weird undercurrent of like entitlement with guys that are attracted to me, Like I do feel like there is like sometimes running underneath the surface of my uh interactions with people who are attracting me, where they're like, you should be so glad you are indebted to me.

Crazy And I get it from strangers on apps, and I get it from people in my real life where I think they because they are aware of the power dynamics within our community. They think, well, like, what a catch for him? I think, yeah, and I think it's that, and I think it's like sometimes I get this weird sense that like, guys are like, what a hero I am for being attracted to? And I don't think it's

me projecting. I don't think it's no, I really And it's something I struggle with probably definitely right that those guys think that, well, yeah, yeah, they're like, wow, I'm day an Asian. Cool, it's soup, but whatever, it's tough. It's tough. I I can't even tell you, guys where I'm out in terms of the self esteem stuff. I'm like, I don't even I feel like it's I feel like it's showing in a way I think your confidence has been so far up, up, up, up, since even just

the summer. Really, I think it's emanating from you in a different way, Like I'm getting confidence from you in a way that I haven't seen at all. Post trip. It helped trip, and someone at this table might be experiencing it for the first time. Later, there's three people. We're doing a little Upstate Garrison trip, up state venture into the woods, and I am and I am. I'm

like I was talking about this in therapy. It's like it's not going to be the same as that first time on Fire Island, but it will be different and beautiful in its own way. I'm interested in having the experience. What do you hope to get out of the trip? Um tans my life, Ickensis. I want to become mckenzas. I kind of am mckensas. Yeah, here's what I want. Here's what I want. I want to clear my mind

so that I'm like I want. I would like to clear my mind on this trip and so that I can just access what I like about myself again, because I'm telling you, like every time this is really I felt not attractive, I felt not funny. I've just felt

like I'm forcing everything. I also think it's because you know, this is whatever, But like this was the year that like my ex boyfriend from my only relationship I've ever ever had, like truly moved on someone sort of broke my heart that I had feelings for um I open. I felt like I was trying to open myself up and things didn't really happen, Like professionally, I had a big disappointment, you know, what I mean, like I I someone I'm directly in like I've always you know, it's

just not easy, you know what I mean. But also like they're all growing experiences. And I will say this, I feel an intense seasonal depression at the end of the summer, like the humidity here and the constant weighing down of like just the weather makes me really sad. And now that the weather is a little bit colder and I feel like a little bit of a crisp in the air. I literally just my body is like responding in a way insane. I'd rather I hear you.

I hear you. But also to be honest with you, like I don't necessarily always feel great in like a tank top, like I I really know, like I I just don't. I don't have a great self image. And I think that I'm super self conscious and aware of myself because of social media sometimes and especially as our social media platform has grown. I I really do think

this for me. But like this has been a good personally year with the body positivity stuff, because it has been something clicked in my brain about really trying to come to where I am and liking what I see, and it just is not an everyday thing. I'm constantly frustrated sal but like it's just so much about like not find it's like not finding the validation outside. I mean, it's just so basic. Again, but like I don't know.

I went to fulsome in San Francisco this year and I found that, like again, it was a sense of like people just walking around all body types, all shapes and sizes, and it just didn't get the sense that anyone was there being like I want everyone to look at me. Everyone was there being like this is I am. I am loving myself right now in a way that I just felt really positive. And I think, you, well, the thing is I mean like obviously here and here's

the thing. It's like, well, thank you for saying that. But it's like I just you are the person that's in your body. And so like the other day, I tweeted out like and I ended up deleting it because somebody didn't like it, and I kind of like, he says, I don't need to have tweeted this. I said, I actually kind of liked that my body is turning into pudding. And somebody, somebody tweeted at me and said it's annoying when skinny people say this, And I tweeted back, I

understand where you're coming from. I also think it's annoying when people publicly police people's thoughts on their own body. But like, I think we can agree that it's tough to be happy no matter what. Right. Well, and I said, we'll see if you want follow me. He didn't. He said, L O L sure. I just think that you shouldn't understand that there are people out there who work really hard and for a long time for something that you have like happily stumbled into, he said. And I think

it's this thing. Well, but I understand where he's coming from. And this is what I mean to say, is it's like I am obviously aware of the fact that I'm privileged physically. I have always had a good metabolism. It's just like I I like I'm thin, like I just am, but like when your body starts to change, you notice it, and so it's just And also like in the gay community, when there's a lot of people that are ripped and there's a lot of people like I want to when

I went to l A, I felt invisible. Guys sometimes will will like reach out to me, and I'm obsessed with the fact that, like, if they have a better body than me, I absolutely cannot go on a day with them. I'm it's just people better bodies invisibility is all, is the Asian narrative. And I'm also aware of that, you know what I mean. Like, I'm aware of the fact that, like, I don't know, it's crazy for for someone like me to complain, But I don't know. I

don't know. That's the thing is, like everybody's on their own fucking journey and like is allowed to fee be in their feelings and ever in whatever way they want. I don't think I don't quite understand what that person saying that to you, like what they thought they were accomplishing, because it's not like you have this huge platform that you are like trying to uh set your journey on the same level as their's, or saying that, like you're

allowed to feel how you are. Like I feel bad about my body sometimes too, and I look insanely good. So it is just like I'm and I'm allowed that I'm allowed to feel the way I feel about it. You know what I feel about it? I I totally agree,

and I feel like you know. The reason I took it down is because I was like, you know, I don't need to have tweeted this, you know, And I constantly that I'm a big proponent of separate your thoughts into what you need to say and what you what you want to say, you know what I mean, And I didn't need to say that, and so whatever, I think, it's always just a good thing as long as it's as long as you're emotionally sort of bouncing back from

a moment like this where you're talking about failures openly, you're talking about in securities openly, long as you're not keeping it in suspension where you're like, I shouldn't be reacting this way, or it should be reacting this way more extremely, where you're literally just like like pulling a tense line on it and you're not letting it. You're not giving it any slack to just have its own

weight whatever. Time speaking very abstractually, but like I don't know, just like talk about it, but also like, um, feel your own feel your own sort of feet in that moment. You know, it's like just be present with like how you're feeling. That's the thing. It's not like you're one

of these people who like relishes. And I think there was a real there was a long moment and I hate to be a fucking nana about it, but there was a long time in my comedy where I leveraged my lack of steam about myself, um as a comedic sort of like wedge for and it did not make me feel good and like it was also dishonest, and it was because it's like, I, oh, I always looked fine, you know, and like to leverage like my negativity about my own body, and the audience never at never a worthwhile.

It's like the audience never is loving it. Yeah, you did one tweet, you know, you didn't make it your brand. And I think for a long time, especially my early years in New York, I really did make my the way I felt about myself negatively, feeling ugly like a big part of my brand, you know. And that and now I've flipped, and I will say, though, this is this is a different side of the frustration for me, is that, um, I appreciate when people are like, oh, you're hot, like I and I get it, and I

post the thirst traps. I like, I want that validation because I do work very hard on this part. It's the my body is really the only fucking thing I can control in my life right now, and that is like, so I focus a lot on it. I do put chicken breasts in a blender and drink it with two quarts of water. Yes, um, it's disgusting, but it works.

And the thing is is like, but then I do feel this sense of responsibility because like I have made it my mission to be like Asian men are hot, and like I am hot, and like owning that and being at the forefront and changing the narrative around the way we view Asian men engage and men specifically. But now I do feel like I'm moving into territory where

I'm like, well, funk. Now I can't talk about um feeling ugly or feeling insecure about that, because I feel like I have to be I've always done the other way. I have to like you know, can't bring a whole other group of people into into that space with you because and this is my thing, like half of the like like most of those people don't even know what you're going through, Like they don't even know, they don't even give a ship. I don't know right, like, I whatever, Okay,

I would just openly say this. I was thinking very deeply what I was screen testing for SNL. I was like, I have to, like do Asian people proud. I have to I'm doing this for this whole group of people. And my therapist was like, that is crazy, because there's no way that you're going to get through this if you're going to saddle yourself with that responsibility, that responsibility that it's all in vented. Do not bring those people into the room with you as you're writing, as you're preparing,

as you're auditioning. Do not do that. That will crush you and it's not real and so it is. But it's such a fine line, though, isn't it because of representation manners like instantly saying that, And so I do feel like this pressure to be, you know, uh, to be I have to be careful about like the way I present myself now if I want to continue to

be you know, but I don't want to. I agree, like I don't want to bring those people into the room, you know, because I want to feel bad, and I like sometimes want to be in my feelings about and I want to tweet ship like um, I literally have been to my dermatologist in New York twice this week and I've been diagnosed with rosatia. And that is a hard pill for me to swallow, and someone who's always struggled with my skin, and that is like, that's something

I can't control. And it's like I want to talk about that, I want to be like I feel like shit. And then I have this like little voice now in the back of my brain where it's like, no, you've created this character for yourself online through social media that it is like an unwavering source of confidence within this the toxic the toxicity of the gay community, and so you have to be tweet about yours. You have to

bitch tweet about your rozation. Um. So it is, it's just like weird, and we are in this weird place with representation where I feel like we're getting to the point where like there's you and there's me, and there's a lot of other gay Asian men that are like coming up and other gay people. I think gay men in general are like sort of like stepping forward and being there and and so like there's plenty of us.

It's no longer We're no longer in a place where there's just some one and we're like pulling up the ladder after us after someone's else's success. But it does feel like there we're still in a place where like people are going to like look at every little move we make and try and extrapolate and pathologize our community

for that. Like every time I say something, I hate it when people are like, oh, gay gay guys be like this, you know, in response to something, and it's like, no, that's just me, Like I I want to be seen

as an individual, and it's just it's frustrating. I mean, I feel like it's only gonna get worse for us, by the way, I know what I'm thinking, right, Like we like I don't know, maybe I'm thinking the three of us will listen back to this episode like two years from now and be like, oh my goodness, l O l at us being like at this snapshot in time where it's like who knows, like what word will be at in like two years, you know, Like I just that's the nice thing and the terrible thing about

our little racket is that, like we don't know what things will look like short term, long term is what I meant. But like I don't know. It's like, don't

saddle yourself with that, though. You ask the question, like what are you trying to get out of like this trip up state or whatever, or like whatever it is that they're trying to be happy, Like I guess I'm just trying to do any little thing to open myself up to just like really being excited about myself again, you know what I mean, Because there was there was so much time in my twenties where I was like so excited about myself and I was a big fan myself,

you know what I mean, And I think that now it's just like it's just another phase and I really think, you know, say what you want about like astrology thing like the return to Saturn, like people would talk about it and they'd warned me about it, like oh is gonna come, and like you're gonna it was crazy because the moment like that, the corner turned on my twenty eight year it was like, oh there they go, there go the good times, and it was just like there's

just been this like nine or ten months block where I opened my eyes and I'm like, fuck, Like I don't know if i'd call myself depressed, but I would call myself like baseline unhappier than I have been in a long time, and it's just like so yeah, I mean I I'm not trying to buy into the whole like, oh, do this hallucinogenic and it changes your life, but it seems to have a positive effect on a lot of people I care about, So I wanted to try it.

I will say it was I loved it. I loved it because it was like going it was like an amusing park in my brain. I said that doing acid was like it was the same experience of watching Mother. Um, but yeah, I love Mother PS. But I but like the like the latter half of Mother where she's like walking through the house and it's like all chaotic, and that seems like very negative, but like in a very positive where every corner you turn there was like another

adventure to have. But I didn't mentally have anything. I will I will say this, and Henry kurpers, if you're listening, I fucking love you. Um. But there would be moments where Henry where I'd be like, I just feel like I'm outside of time right now, and then Henry would whisper He'd be like, that's because time is there and I'd be like, no, no, I will not fall for I was like, um, yeah, I think I'm too far gone, Henry,

there you go. Um I. But the one thing I'll say about acid is when I would go into the house alone and when it did feel like like crazy and it was it did feel like mother, I haven't seen it, but I would go. But the nice thing was going to the bathroom and looking at myself in the mirror and thinking, oh, cool, like I'm happy with this. That was like the big takeaway was that I was like,

I felt good about myself. And walking walking down the boardwalks and the pines is always a herring experience for your self confidence because you're seeing like chilldled guy after chilled guy didn't even didn't even go this year because I couldn't handle it, and it's and I understand that. But while I was tripping, did not give a shit

about anyone else. It was just about our unit walking down to the dock to watch the sunset, walking back together, and that was enough tuning out everyone else because they didn't matter because because who cares, I don't know these people and so, and that was sort of a nice that was my little nice mental um relief. So anyway, Wow, I love that we had this combo spiritual hunting. It's important to talk. God. I'm sitting here and I'm just like, I can't imagine. It was very funny, but you always,

you know, yeah, suck you other full episodes. We're very funny. We're very funny talking about Madam. There you go. But we are three dimensional sometimes even before dimensional people even fourth dimension is time, and if you like us, you have to like all of us. Kansas is bad Kansas. God, I think it's time. I think it's time. I actually forgotten to literally what. They hit the record button. Then I had to do this, and so I have to give myself a little time to think. Matt and I

will go first. I just want to say one thing though, um I don't think so. Honey Live is coming on November thirty to the Bellhouse and also December five to the Regents in Los Angeles. I'm very excited about that. I may or may not have Joost. We're gonna find out it's about. I think it's pretty much kind. Well, I'm very much happy. I'm going to send an email after this podcast. I ever, we're done here and I wanted to be you because literally who else would it be?

And I mean there's you know what, there's plenty time some people can reach out to actually actually would have I would I'm thinking now and there's like okay, okay, um. But also um November, we're doing a Queers Live at Joe's Pub, which is the last culture Resta's hosts, an event which is not a direct recreation of, but inspired by Diva's Live. So those are some live shows that are coming up you guys. I hope to see you there. Love that. Um. Okay that Rogers do you have? I

don't think so. Many think I do have, and I don't think so, honey. Okay, this is Matt Roger, don't I don't think so, honey. His time starts and now I don't think so, honey. People who ask me to help you with your Halloween costume, fuck you? Why are you putting emotional labor on me? And also it's just like, oh my god, now you're gonna make me try to come up with a clever thing for you. It's like it's like pop quiz. It's it's like emotional and like

intellectual work. Because Halloween costumes in this day is day and age, you have to be so many things hot, funny, like subversive or else your basic like halloween costume is a lot and bitch, I haven't figured out my own seconds, So why do I have to like now invest energy and time and to your costume? And it's everyone does this? What should I be from Halloween? And you don't even give me a direction that you want to go in. It's like you, guys, it's like, how are you feeling? Like?

Do you want to becomfortable? Do you want to be a hot? Like? How are you feeling right now about the way to present yourself? Like and honestly, this is really about me not knowing what I want to be for Halloween. It's like I haven't even thought about it. It's like, give me time to think about me, then let me think about you a bit. I don't think so on that's one minute. I wow, what a gorgeously felt. I'm sorry, Nico. You've asked me several times what I

think you should be for Halloween? And he asked me about this girl. That's the most nic thing I've ever heard. No, he's the best. It's just like I I don't know what. I'm a any for Halloween. And he sent me a picture of what I thought was a good costumer and then he said that you said he absolutely could not be thought it was funny. That's what I'm saying. It's like, And I was like, a house is like a creepy house. I don't fucking know. It was like some sort of house.

He's like sometimes too smart for me. I'm like the references that he pulls out. I'm just like, he's extremely a sellegial person. And it's just like and he's like, but also I'll be shirtless. And I was like, I don't get this. I can't see this. And I was just like, and here's the thing which you just did, which is then I give my idea and people say no, that's horrible, and it's like, well, bitch, I thought it was good. And also you asked me, I'm not the

right person. I hate Halloween. I famous Halloween. I barely ever come up with a costume. I was like a slutty minion for like five years running. I love. See. The thing is I always think of something great like the day of but I'm not ready to think about it. We had I'm going as leather jughead this year. Oh that's that's you. Last year, me and Bowen were um uh Celeste and I Patronada from that good. That was good And I had like long sleeve shirt and I

was just like, really, I had a secret all night. Yeah. But my thing is, yeah, once everyone, it's only once every three or four years that I come up with something solid and the rest. And like, I have nothing this year, and I don't even know what I'm doing. I might be a slut this year. Cool a sailor. That's that's a direction. That's a start, I know. But also then I'm just like, now my basic but yeah, it is who cares? Fucking who cares? I'm gonna come

up with a good costume. I just like you guys. I And also I think this will come out on November seven, so it'll Halloween will already have come and gone. So I guess you can go to my Instagram or whatever. I'll have trotted myself around and tell me if it was a good costume or not. Great love that anyway, okay, And I had a lot of I don't think so honey, that I could have done tonight, one of which is the picture that Bone posted of himself smoking a cigarette

shot by Alex Shaefer um directly inspired. It was directly inspired from this anime screenshot of this guy post Coitas pink bed sheets smoking a cigarette. Was like, I'm going to recreate that, so um blame that. Okay, my turn. Yeah, this is when he's not I don't think so, honey, And as time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Scorpio shaming. Scorpio shaming is hack Scorpio seasons coming up. Guess who's a scorpio? Yeah me, Guess who doesn't believe

in fucking astrology? Me, bitch? Okay, read to Carl Sagan book. Because the alignment of stars hundreds of light years away and their relative positioning to the Sun and Moon has no bearing on your personality traits or that your twenty eight year is a hard one. Okay, Sometimes it so

happens that we have hard years. And and Matt, I'm sorry that that it coincided with this pseudoscience that is being pushed on my poor unsuspecting friends, who who didn't have a science education, who only succeeded in writing and humanities on I am here to tell all of you to free everyone of the shackles of arology. It's bull ship, it's pseudoscience, it's harmful. It's comes from the same place as people touting you know, it's it's it's it's astrology,

as Donald Trump saying fake news at CNN. It's the same thing. It's false information being peddled for personal games. And that's one minute. I said that it's a bizarre thing to say, but it was just a coincidence, and that a return to Saturn quote unquote happened. I didn't

even get I mostly just shot on astrology. But people who scorpio shame who are like when I when I tell everyone I'm a Scorpio, when they asked me what my sign is, because I will never voluntarily offer that information, they go, oh, And I'm just like, please spare me of this fucking shock that you that you have misplaced. You should you should. I found myself asking someone what their sign was recently, and I wanted to run into the walls hard. I was like, I'm so sorry. I

have to have something right now. I'm a double Pisces and the best sex had has been with Scorpios. There you go, I mean, But also SCIOs and Pisces is a good thing. That's why I mean also, that's believe break. We'd break the internet if we released not only fans oh my god, the Lost culture stas porn are slash. Yes, it would be a It would be a recreation of the scene from Members of a Geisha where she sticks her fingers in the trainees but Vagina to see if

she's wet. And I would be that character and I would stick it, thank you, and he would be and he'd be the wettest and you know, and I'd be like, oh, and and we will not pick later trying to tell you will not PIXI late. No, I'm going to fucking Tokyo this year, and I am so excited for New Year's and I am so excited to be in a place I've never been, Asia, and so I've never I've never experienced what it's like to be white. Um, and I cannot wait. I cannot wait to sit in like

in the middle of an intersection. And yeah, and you will be their king. You just go to the eagle, they will flock to you. Okay, We'll have to talk off Kim about this, because I'm we are we are of course on camera as we're film see us on Twitch. I've never I've ever done gainit like p in in Asia anywhere because with my family and they would be like, what the fuck? Um, but I'm sure you would, Okay,

I do very well. So I thought of I thought of the one that's going to be the front runners though, just so everyone is a where was one was going to be I don't think so, honey, people who are late to their own podcast, um, And then the other one was going to be I don't think so, honey. An actual comedian who told us that or told me that. Um, I the that real comedians don't post shirtless picks of themselves on there and who then is an outrageous thing to say? Of course it was a straight comic and

it's like, so, I'm not conpain names. Well, the trager was here, she named names. That's fair. He will never hear is the same moral comment And it was actually said. He didn't say it to me, but it was a general comment about gay men and our Instagram presences and comedians and it's like, listen, here's the thing. I love Sam. He's one of the best joke writers in the industry. Right now. And but the fact is is, I'm sorry, but gay men and straight women do not get laid

for our fucking talent in the comedy industry. So I'm sorry. I have to work for the fucking dick that I pull. Okay, um so, but now I'm going to do the real I don't think so. Okay, because I don't think so, honey, time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Blue Planet to featuring all these fucking birds on the episode that I watched in my hotel room the other night. I am tuning into Blue Planets to see creatures from the sea, Honey. I want to see creatures that are living in the

depths of the ocean. I want to see a fish that can scream. Okay, I want to see all these creatures that science is just not discovering, because susan the most unexplored part of our planet. And you're telling me that I'm tuning in and I'm seeing Blue Planet all these fucking birds that are flying around it because they live on an island that is adjacent to the sea and are sometimes eaten by fish. That is not an interesting storyline for me. I can go outside in New

York City and look out the window. If I want to sucking bird like a pigeon, that is clearly the product of incests. No, sweet, I do not want to see birds on blue plane. That is like I can't do watching a movie about the Great Wall of China starring Matt Damon. Okay, minute, very good. I will make a definitive statement right now. Oh my god, Joel can booster the single best. I don't think your hands down best best track record, best best based, best staff. You

feel this way, I do Joel is the best. Think about think about what he's brought. I think he's excellent. I think he's he's been the most consistent. He will give you the full spect, the full range of stuff. It's it can be personal, it can be professional, or whatever can be about some random ass thing like blue planets. Here. He also does do it at the desired cadence. Yes, with setups, with punchlines, everything you could ever want. Animal and that's the speed at which we mode. I will

say my my new biggest pet people. But I don't think so, honey is previously, of course, it was not doing culture, not doing culture. My new one is is I do think that there is something intrinsic, like there's something so important about the repetition of honey, honey, The honeys and the are the equivalent of sweet, sweetie, darling, darlings.

It is, it is contessa. Sometimes when people don't even say the honey in the first when I say, I don't think so this, I'm just like, you don't really get it misunderstood these I will say this, Max Sylvesti marched his straight as here a couple of weeks ago, and fucking nail it was a really great one. But I'll say this, and Max, I'm going to see you on Sunday, and I'll tell this to your fucking face. Cute face. It's a cute face. I don't think they

should be written down. I don't think they should be pre written. I don't think you should be reading from a script, sweet tea. You know that's that's interesting because we've never done that. Never once you're you're sometimes at the expense of the I don't think so honey. I will say that you can't have written it, you can't have written it, or yeah, just it removes well, actually, no reading it off a phone or off a piece of paper, removes polished. I almost don't think it should

even be rehearsed. I think it should come from the gut and the heart and the mind and the body and the soul and the spirit and the whimsy, hair, body face and the hair and the body and the face. I want everyone to read my interview with Alissa Edwards. Yes, it's a very good Matt calls calls her out on other queens, saying that she's a diva and hold on one second, but sut the gig and deliverwards every single time.

But yes I do. And as to someone who will call me on profession, on a dark side deepa, I am not a dark side of diva? Am I a diva? Yes? I'm not a dark side of diva? And I don't I don't have a writer like the rest of these girls. I don't need fruits, grapes, grapes, she says, She says candies. I don't need or grapes or fruits in my dressing room. Honey, I don't have these demands. Wait, did I say really quickly, I didn't know that I my reps had created a

rider for me. I did not did not ask me before my input and I went I did this college recently, and I walked into this like classroom that they had made into a makeshift green room for me, and there were two just free standing mirrors in there and I was like, oh, that's cool um and like a fruit plate and I was like, okay, I'll eat this. And then after the show, I saw these two boys pick up the mirrors and they had to walk them across campus and I was like, wait, what's going on. I

was like, why did you bring these in here? And they were like, well, it saysn't your writer that you need two mirrors? And I was like, what what a monster, Spazza. They have created a monster, like I need two mirrors. I need to see myself from both angles. Oh my god, we have to tell Joe that we need four mirrors. Four mirrors until you might have to just own it. And this is a moment where you have to become Ali red with red hair, with red hair? What today? Wow?

I think this episode transformative and complete and full honey and had everything and we had like we had some real ship. We got real I love that. I hope people liked it. I demanded and we got one of the best time things and yes, uh, come for me. Don't fuck you? Actually, no, don't at me for declaratively saying that Joel Kimbostra is the I'm including, I'm including

myself in this. I mean, I don't think we're We're not the best, clearly, but Joel is a pre eminent mind, a pre eminent I don't think at my full capability. I think when you take everyone into account, I think I could score three. I don't think so, honey, tests. I did not do well at the EVAs though I'm not a music person, and that was a famously begged, famously begged. But because it was so bad, you were not the only We're not the only one. And I

think that's I think that was the right call. That one's for us. Give you everything that works for us. You should have come to Montreal. Did I fully jump into the splits? Yes? Did I injure my knee? Does it still pain me to this day? Is it recorded? Yes? Doctor, I have Well, I'm seeing a physical therapist right now. Okay, you're physical therapist. I'm seeing a physical therapist named Amanda, who is a bisexual woman from Ohio. I love her.

She's powerful, um dynamic and powerful. I just wanted to say my other I don't think so honey was going to be I don't think so honey dumping me. I'll say that for another time. I actually have a serioues of I don't think honey. I'm really excited about including I don't think so honey. Whe people sound the phone, Hey, it's me, stay your name, honey. We don't need to do that any more. We hey, and then you just and you're off to the races. Well, this is about

to coggins the longest. I don't think I'm as ever, so every time I come, it's gotten a little bit longer than love that. I always planned for it too. I say, next time, we're going two hours. We did blog out two hours for us. Really, why please check out Club November nine at the Bell House. Is it ten p m Um, Patty Harrison, Karen she Ronnie Chang, maybe Bow and Yang if the show goes well that week, Um oh that's why you're not. Yeah, he's he's booked. But like you might just see a video of it

might have to be me. It might have to be lots of fun, lots of fun games too, where you've got a longer slot than we did in San Francisco, So if you saw it in San Francisco, it's a different show. It's November seven, because I have a Showmber seven, Straight pageants, straight pageant Um watches multiple stratement and compete for each for the title of Queen of the Strange. Um. Well, Joel, we love you, one of the one of the best,

the best made. Um. Okay, let's end in a song I cast to me, you keep keeping me from what I was boss to me? What did you do? Bye it. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Bohum, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team,

and liking our page on Facebook. M