"War" (w/ Lauren Lapkus)

that it's created. Um, it's not what roadblock, It's not the large thing in the culture is not what people think. It's not like the top of mind thing, although it's it's top of mind, just in terms of culture in Core. I feel that this thing I'm going to talk about, I'm just gonna you know what, this is ridiculous. I'm just gonna say no, no, save it for later, SA no, I refuse. Okay. This thing that I have found is that I tried to listen to Fiona Fetch the bull Cutters,

and I don't get it. I don't get it. You didn't listen to her old stuff, did you. I know? Criminal, Like I know, I know what I need to know. But and here's the thing that bothers me so much as I know I'm wrong, it's like one of those things. It's not that, it's just that I think you haven't had and this sounds so annoying, but I don't think you've had the supplemental materials to like close the gap in the understanding of the appreciation of this. See and

this is the other thing. I knew this would bring this to light, which is along comes to me on with this album and everyone's saying they love it, and then I'm like, I don't know. And then everyone's like, well, it's because you don't have the tools to really enjoy if you're not with you know, we don't have the culturally, of course, you would say the same thing about someone who like was hitting on Kelly. You should like read the lyrics, you should read the you should look up

the lyrics to all these songs on the lyrics. I've trust me, I have done everything I can do to try and understand not just liking it because I get liking it. I don't think it's bad. It's just that ten on Pitchfork and then like everyone universally being like, this is album of the year that the Pitchwork thing, I mean part of it was like to drive clicks or whatever, you know what it was they I know it.

They did that to start this conversation. And then then you know what, They're trying to start a civil war in this country. But people have taste between people with taste and people with no taste, and they're gonna get it. They're gonna get it. They're gonna get a war. You're saying that Pitchwork give their first perfect ten score to an album in as many years, specifically to start a riff between you and I to compromise. No, I'm saying, we are but a microcosm, and we are always but

a microcosm. Is actually rule Culture Number twelve were always a microcosm. And here's the thing is, I have to say that I actually have already death threats. I have death threats from our from our gay group chat. I have death threats from Jolkim Booster and Josh Sharp that if I didn't I don't think so honey today on Fiona, that I would be I would be dead and they would kill me. So just know that during this entire

podcast episode, it's gonna be racing, absolutely racing. To the back of my mind is do I want to be so brave as to face death in order to give a truthful I don't think so, honey. So that's gonna be my internal narrative the whole time. Yeah. Wow, Well, let's see if there's an arc to that in this episode. If you end up somewhere different, I hope I do. I mean, maybe maybe our guests will be able to convince me, although I don't know our guests could convince

could sell ice to Eskimos? Is that okay to say? I think that's actually gonna be okay to say, because I've bought whole blocks of ice from our guest and it's just like any other ice, but just the way she sells it by by ice e bean cocaine blocks of cocaine. Yea co girl, Laura Mapkis is my coke girl. Oh my god, am I here? Yeah? Hold on, hold on, hold on our guests, but first we have to fluff the guest. Let let me, let us fluff you. Let us fluff you fluff you trust us. No one wants

to go in hard without a fluffer. Your please, So listen the podcast with Nicole Buyer that is now out it. You know. It goes through all the different Star Wars flicks, first timers, first timers, did newcomers and newcomers, and I'm happy you did for that. When I had no yeah, the titles newcomers, I was just saying their first timers to the Franchan, Yes we were getting there. Damn, I got it. Back out of this fluff, man, I gotta you, gotta back out of this sluff. Let us fluff you,

let us, let us. It's so hard to me to let myself be fluffed, but I will, I will, you let yourself be fluffed. And we also have to say, I mean podcast, Queen podcast, Queen, true podcast, Queen and Queen of um, I'm sorry, but film and television, sorry, film and television, and get this new media, new media, my god, new media empress damn. And I have to say it's very brave of someone who was in the Jurassic World franchise to come out and say I don't

know Star Wars. She could care less about nerd culture. She wants to start a civil war between the franchises, and that's I think what's happening. And I am actually if we're going to cause a war and she's going to cause a war. This podcast already has a title of EPP and the title of this has the title of up front Runner, and it's war. It's just war with our very special guests. Please welcome into your ears. Laura.

Oh my god, Oh my god. I can't believe I'm here, first of all, here being your own home as we do this here either, I can't believe that, but I can't believe I'm on this podcast because I wanted to be on this podcast for um. I would say many many months that would equal years. I would agree that it has been an anticipated event on our end as well. And we had such a fun time with you and Gabriel on Raised By TV. That was so fun, such

a fun time. I really cherish it. And this is I'm sorry to bring it back to tie this to current events, but here's here's some perspective for all y'all. Okay, if you're like, oh god, I'm so anxious, like when is this gonna be over, it's it's gonna be as long of a time. If here, here's what I'll say. This is how going to frame it. If we could all wait for this episode to happen, for Lauren Latus to come on Last Culturalists for about the same amount of time as this thing is going to keep going

on in the world. We can we can all do it, Okay, we can all wait. Hold on, yeah, you can hold on of like our resilience as people. It is it is. I'm sorry, my words are kind of garbage. I'm a little stoned. It's we're recording this unfortuntly. Okay, I see, I was going to get stoned, but then I was like, I gotta talk on less culture stas. But I should have just done it. My thing is like I was thinking about getting say, now I actually have to start

another fight, which is with my boyfriend. So my friend, oh my god, it happened. Um lucky me. I have to say, but he's in the doghouse right now because I just want to go. Look if I had any weed and he took it all, he took it back to his apartment. That is not okay. Essectially not okay, and I'm not that's actually illegal. It's actually a real crime here in California. And I have to say I have to put him on blast. There is no weed in the apartment. But that's probably for the better because

I have smoked of all the minutes I've been in quarantine. Yeah, yeah, it's a necessity. I mean, you know, you've got to get through the day. For me, a lot of it is like just straight up television or podcast like noise at all times. And when he stops, I get scared. Yea, truly, when it's silent and dark, that's what it's sad. Yeah, what are you indulging in? What are what are your things that you've been watching and um consuming in? People

want to know, I've been consuming basically everything. I love television. It is my favorite thing to do all the time. But so this has been like a real deep dive for me. But um, there's been a lot of great things coming out. Did you watch Too Hot to Handle? Okay?

This is the Yeah, this is the new one. And the whole thing is they basically bring like uh ten like essential sex addicts to live in a house together and then tell them they can't have sex and if they touch or kiss each other, the money from the one pot is decreased with every action, and let me tell you, they still hook up like they don't care that the money is going away. It's crazy that that is insane. You think that it would be the easiest thing ever, but like, is there like an amount of

time they're gonna be there? Do they know how long they're gonna be there? But like it wasn't a day. There there's a couple that's like cocaine, like like they had taken that they just met and they're like we have to find and they just do it. Like it's just crazy. Are they releasing it week to week? Um no, it's it just was eight episodes. They just dropped all at once. You can just watch it and call it

a day. Yeah, that is a really good That is a really good idea of for television for right now, where people are in char and it's top of mind that they're not able to touch, kiss or fuck, and then you just see these people just go like who cares? I mean I feel people doing that in real life anyway, So which is also disturbing. Um, I watched all of that.

I've been watching god. You know. You know what's kind of been interesting about this time is like I have no memory of any day that's happened, and like I've been in quarantine for like five week services or more, and I like remember two days of it, Like I don't know like what's happening or what I'm doing with my time. It's the days fly in the weirdest way.

Now they've said like it could be like for a really long time that we're doing this, and I'm like, Oh, that's just gonna be a real lost year, isn't it. Like that's crazy to think about, Like I thought recently, like I just was reminded about something that happened a little bit over a year ago, and I was like, wow, that feels like a lifetime ago. And then hearing that we might be in quarantine for that long is like

truly crazy. It's truly crazy. But then I saw today that they were opening up Georgia Friday for like hair salons. I was like, that is literally insane, and I don't have that might be because the governor is an idiot. I was kind of picking up on that on Twitter a lot of my opinions. Oh, Brian the Walking Dead quote retweeted that and just had their hands on their heads like does that emoji of like oh doti emoji?

So even the Walking Dead is like, Wow, this is so crazy, Like I feel like Twitter has changed that way where it's like shows have opinions about current events right now. Yeah, Like Nestly is like this is us as fuck. Well, this is one of the things when this all started. One of the things my husband said, like right off the bat was like, I can't wait

to see which brand jumps on this the fastest. And then it was like we were watching TVN Suddenly within days the commercials were like you want to stay at home with your family and you're missing everyone out there? How do you connect? And I was like, yeah, that was the quickest have it I've ever seen, truly, Like the toilet paper commercials, did you? I mean like there, They've always been around, but now it's just like we are this, We're gonna get We're gonna get there together.

It's like, oh, it's ennobling to be a toilet paper company, Like it's so respectable. I use you to wipe my poop literally in the toilet. Yeah, and you're telling me it's going to be okay, but no, but it's going to talk to you. It's the way that they're positioning selves to be like this amazing like charitable company, not charitable but it's like they're like doing good in the world. Yes, yes,

it's very funny. It is interesting. Well, corporations are people were really finding out and they are sent to it and they have emotions and they're actually okay, they're actually neutral. Good are true neutral? Neutral corporations aren't true neutral? I

like that. Yeah, um well, Lauren, I feel like you because I feel like I'm in a different You're in a different camp than I am right now in terms of the way that I'm like unwinding or killing time where I can't sit through shows or movies, like I'm having a really hard time. So okay, So what have you been Do you like flip around or you just

not watch things. I just watch things and I lose I lose interest within like ten minutes, and then I go to something and then I know, because I've been doing video games, I'm thinking all my time and play Animal Crossing. I just started paying animal Crossing, so oh my god. Yeah, I saw yeah, I joined that and that's been very fun. That's been my whole quarantine. Oh. I have to say I have signed on kind of mentally to watch a few shows that come on every

week as like sort of Markers of Time. So I now watched the Masks Singer and I really love it. But it's now they've been playing like reruns for some reason. I don't know, do they not get to finish their season? Because I might be really devastated if we don't get the ending of that. Oh shoot, well, I don't think they did not finish. I don't think because isn't it isn't it live? Isn't it? Sort of like, yeah, maybe it is. Maybe I've been watching reruns and I don't

know what's going on. Who has been on? Who has been on that? You've been like, oh my god? Sometimes multiple people in the thing and been right Joe I called it like right away, and I was like, why do I know this? Yeah, well she's like that so and she's really tall, I can tell. And she was like kind of dressed like her like an insane tall toddler. She is a fascinating creature. I'm like so intrigued. I watched like a few well now, probably a year ago.

I watched a bunch of YouTube videos of her like giving a tour of her room, and then her room she like redid it again and like gave a tour of that, and she has pictures of herself plastered everywhere, Like on her sheets there's pictures of herself, and her car is all pictures of herself on the outside, and

I don't really understand that well. She feels like a weird, like throwback kind of famous kid star type thing, like where it's like, hey, guys, come on, and it's just like, wait, this feels like it was something from like the mid nineties, like some sort of Rugrats adjacent Yeah, that shouldn't be viable now, but very much is. It is like she's like a Rugrats character that came to life. That feels really accurate. Definitely that there's an element of Gypsy there though,

like Gypsy the show. Like I think I think she has a stage the musical. She's a roma. I feel doesn't she have a stage? Mom? Isn't like, isn't she from she is? She is? She is right right? Yeah? I feel like I shouldn't know this. I feel honestly. I'll tell you. She had to recently be explained to me. I felt like I was like way out of touch with it. But She's one where I really did not

know her deal and then I saw her. I had heard the name a bunch jo and then I saw what she was and I was like no, and people were like no, this is something people like. And I was like, because she's like the part that stops me is it that she's an adult? Right? The that I find confusing. I'm like, wait, she's like grown up? Like what it would be hard to keep the keep going with the act. But you know, when the money rolls in, I guess yeah. I wonder if we'll see her like

ex Tina Miley phase of her JO like raw. Well that makes me want to ask you how you feel about Amanda Bindes is Instagram's lately when she's back on what's the deal? Tell us, well, I might be a few weeks behind in terms of the content, but she she is pregnant. She announced that she was pregnant. She posted a picture from the ultrasound. She got a tattoo of a heart on her face. I'm looking at for

the first time. Oh my god, Oh it's really interesting, and she put she deletes a lot of videos, but she'll post them and they're when you catch them, they're really good. Like she'll be like, thank you all for your appreciation of my time here. After my situation with my probate, I am doing everything I can with my conservation ship to figure out what I need to do next. And like she just says that kind of stuff to her fans. Very interesting. Wait, whoa, I'm looking at it

not too so. She is not verified on Instagram, but it does say Amanda Binds real and she has four hundred seventy one thousand followers. I'm guessing this is her, and she looks she looks completely different. Well, it looks like it's a relatively new Instagram, like her first post from September ten to nineteen, and it's her with pink care accept and piercing and like what looks like to be a whole new head and she's going to fit them the Fashion Institute whatever it stands. Right, Wow, that's

crazy because it correct me if I'm wrong. Wasn't she like um in some way coming back like it wasn't she trying to make a comeback of a few years ago. Yeah, there was some interview where she Um just like had her wits about her. It seemed I'm not that Like,

I mean, we can't really tell. I don't know, I don't want but no, I agree I'm saying, like, I've just been kind of fascinating popping into her Instagram and seeing this whole new look and a whole new deal she has grand and then she did announce her pregnancy and then deleted it, so I know about that. Wow, the hardest hard tattoo is like a little drawing. Getting a face tattoo is such a move. I don't know, Like I couldn't. I mean I could never. I feel

like I would never. I can't even get a tattoo. I couldn't decide on anything for my body. No, I mean Bowen has a couple. This is but this is how stone I got last night was I just was like looking staring at my tattoos and being like, oh, I can't get this off. Not that I even want to, but it's like if I wanted to, I can't get this weird. No, that's actually something I told you would happened. No, no, but no, I'm not saying that I want them off.

I'm not saying that I want them, but like the stoner realization of like, yes, oh it's forever, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, I know that you have beautiful, tasteful tattoos about but you get. I feel like I've heard you talk about them. You had one that's like a red square up here, and then I've got a little I've got like my parents last names in the specific seal script Chinese. Well that's meaningful, it's it's it's it's nice.

But I but I did just but Matt just pounced on my ass real quick right there, and you were like yeah, And I told you to get no. Because whenever anyone, whenever anyone in my life is like I'm getting a tattoo, my instinct is to always, I don't know what this is about. My instinct is always to be like, yeah, right, Like I never really believe they're

going to get it. It's like when I see it's like one of my seeing my friends like Yang smoking cigarettes, I'm like, but we're kids, right, I have this thing in my head it's like, we're too young to do that. And it's like, so when people are out there having fretty will and inking their body up and smoking like a damn chim, I'm like, well, we're what do you mean, Like, I feel like it's not a possibility for me. There was a time when my sister and I I think

I've told this on the pod. My sister and I were at Universal Studios, Florida, and we were like away from our parents. They let us like go to the parks by ourselves, and we were like, let's get tattoos, and we couldn't decide what to get. And we went all the way to the tattoo place and we we were like, we don't know what to get. And we're in Orland, Indo. So maybe not this was there's a tattoo place in Universal Studios in City Walk. There at least was a

tattoo crazy move to have that there. Yeah, do you think people go in and just get like Daffy Duck or whatever, Like they're just like impulsive. I'm sure Ms Daffy is in the book whatever? Yeah, or actually, wait, Daffy Duck. She's Disney, right, Okay, so that whatever the Universal Daffy Damn. Of course, Daisy Duck, miss Duck, the other Miss Duck Duck. I was recently asked who my favorite Disney character was, and I did say Donald Duck. Donald.

That's like literally no one's ever said that, no one ever but I, But I like I like that he's like Donald Duck to me. Is like the queer one because Mickey, I feel like it represents like the majority heterosexuality. And then then there's Donald's always like always kind of just like being the comedic relief and always getting pushed decide, and I feel that he is like, this is very emotional. Where do you put goofy? Goofy is like stoner, which

is a sexuality? Yeah, which which is it's actually it's actually real culture number thirty three. Goofy is at which is a sexuality. I do have to say really quick, um, I have I stopped smoking the day before quarantine, before I started quarantining myself, and that's been a perfect way of like keeping count of the days for me. It's actually also a very convenient way to commit smoking because no one can see you. Well, it's also like I don't want no damn co morbidit ease, honey. So are

you claiming Matt that he didn't really quit? He's just saying he didn't. Yes, that is my claim at this time. That is my claim sustained, thank and honestly I would testify against him on the on the charge of smoking. Yes, you are guilty, and you know one time. But what Bowen Young said to me, He's like, I'll stop smoking when you start therapy, and I said that is not the same thing. WHOA and I to go, well, no, no, no, this is not this is not about me. I said

to him. I was like, you quitting smoking and me, um not going to therapy isn't a life or death situation. And then he said to me, well it is. Wow, I did not therapy. Therapy is very um rejuvenating and life giving in many ways, like if you if you have any I mean, I think even if you don't have a solid issue that you're working through, you'll find plenty of stuff to talk about in there. I mean I started going like a year ago. I haven't been

since quarantine. I need to, like skyper or something, but I really want to. But it was so amazing, like the things that come out, Like you go in for one reason and you end up talking about something else. For the days you think you have nothing to say, you go on and start crying about something and it's crazy. Yeah, I would actually be really interested to see what, like

what what made me emotional? I guess there's an interesting thing that's happening now, at least among my friends where were like, is there really a point to going to like even doing these like like skype sessions, um, And I think there are, but like a lot of therapists are saying that, like yeah, it's just that we talk about the same things with every single patient client, and so I feel like, so my therapist did a nice thing, I think, which is she was like, um, we can

just reduce them to every other week and we can just do them half hour sessions and that would reflect in the in the right And I was like, great, that's nice. Yeah, but it's it's it's this thing now where it's like I am at the same emotional place as I was for the most part, like ten days ago. Yeah, I feel that too, Like I think the first week or so I was like a complete wreck and then

I've kind of leveled out in this weird way. But I have a friend who's a therapist and she said her clients is the same thing where everyone's talking about this, of course, but she has some teenage clients who are like still just talking about like their drama with their boyfriend or whatever. And I'm like I kind of love that. Yeah, Yeah,

that's great, that's great, and it's good Matt. Yeah, it's just good for like, um, the pedestrian stuff, which sounds like which is an all relative Now it's like, I don't know, I don't know. The thing is like, yeah, I feel like I I can't start now because also my mood is so violently different every single day. I don't know how you guys feel with the way that, like,

my my emotions are responding to the situation. Is like I'll wake up one day and I'll be like just another day, and you know, it's fine, I mean, like whatever, and then the next day I'll literally be catatonic. Well, I have those moments where I'm like I'll just be like playing animal crossing and I'll be like I'm actually doing really well, and then like I'll like look above myself and see how sad it is, and then I'll want to cry. I'm like, wait, this is actually so dark,

Like it'll just turn weirdly on a dime. But here's the thing about you, Lauren. You actually get to have a hashtag hot husband with you. That is true. That that's actually that's actually the tea, my castle, my castle. He's very cute, spending so much of time. Yeah, it's a mixed bag. Yeah. Yeah, we mainly are doing well and not getting on each other's nerves, but we have moments but then you know, go in the other room a little bit or something. But yeah, it's been Do

you know how I met Mike Castle. I don't think so. I met him when we both auditioned for the lead of the other two, which drew But that's that's where I met him, and I loved him instantly because he's I'm gonna put him on blast, I'm gonna throw him under the damn bus. He somehow had the list of everyone that was auditioning for that part, like, and I was like, how did you get that? And he's like

I can't say what? Do you want it? And I was like yes, and so we we fully like I was like, I was like, I love her and we left and I was like, oh of course, like he's of course one of the most gorgeous straight oh yeah, oh yeah, but we we were auditioning for a gay part and I was like, I never know s Yeah, it gets to just throw you a little bit. Yeah, especially that he was like do you want the list

of everything? And I was like, okay, girl, hious, I love that, and then I loved looking at the list and being like, oh, her, her again, her, see all that, we see all the same girls that I love it. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure that was great. That Drew got that. That was so cool. Yeah, I mean he's he's so good in it. Yeah, he's one of the damn best. He's so funny. Do you improvise with him a lot um from time to time? We do. I We've done a lot of podcasts together, more than live shows. But

he just kills me. He's so funny. I feel like he's so surprising with the things his characters say. I love teachers lounge. Ah, yes, I mind a group of minds. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break, and then when we're back we will be talking more with Lauren LAPKZ. Okay, we're back. Yeah, and we're actually back. And here's the

thing that we're gonna do. One is that we're going to say we forgot to mention up top that you're actually part of the iconic improv group Wild Horses, and we want to exalt the horses, and we have to say the Horses are actually improv culture because one of the one of the renowned improv groups. Thank you, thank you, and you know who. I actually um loving a door very much as well all the girls, but Mary Holland.

I've run into Mary, and that is an icon. Mary is one of the sweetest people in the world, and she's so funny. But she's just the best, isn't she? So I can never imagine someone disliking Mary. I feel I I don't know who does, but I feel confused at the idea that someone could. She isn't that like Darcy Cardon, Betty Gilpin Pantheon of like people where it's like, oh, so I found out someone doesn't like her. Just kidding, No, never, right, totally.

I loved her absolute Betty by the way, that was a while ago now, but that was such a good episode. She was so awesome. I don't even know described, but I was like, she was so open and like vulnerable, and I loved all the stuff she said about acting and she was great. It was like a life coach vibe, like, yeah, it was schooling. Did you watch The Hunt? The Hunt? No, I haven't seen that yet. I remember it kind of

got that big. There was kind of news around it because it was going to come on at a weird time and then they now they so they put it out now, Yes, they canceled the release in what November December, like it was like even earlier in the year, like I think it was September October. It was supposed to come out and then She's controversial. Um, so you know, they put the kai bosh on that, and then they were going to release it again in theaters and then

Quarantine happened. So it just had a lot of bad luck coming out. But it's now demands. I will say, yes, it's good because, like The Hunt was one of the few films, the few exceptions in my Quarantine viewing that, like I was able to sit through the whole thing and I just like had a glass of one. It's like having fun. Yeah, it's not too long either, It's truly like it's like two minutes. It feels like, Yeah, I really love a short movie. I've had because of

Star Wars. I've had to watch every fucking Star Wars movie, which are aged two at the best. Yes, these are the longest films in reported history. They're the longest films of all time. I just can't believe it. Every single one. I like wait, every single one is too over two hours, two and a half hours, even even this last one. I think they came out and they were like, it's actually not going to be two and a half hours, and everyone was like, great, I have to watch that

one this week. So that's good news for me. So you have wait, you have not yet watched that last one. No, that's the one I have to watch. I respect that one the most, okay, because I feel like it's the most camp and the most drag. Oh, We've liked things that have that element. I mean, like, have you seen The Holidays? A show on YouTube? So Nicole was talking about this too, like she like her favorite piece of

Star Wars film has been the Holiday Special. Yes, I mean, and and it's really bad, but it's really good, Like it's just funny and weird. It's too long. If it was like forty five minutes would be amazing. But they drag. But I mean, what I love about it is like it's Chewbacca's family story and they don't speak English and they don't have subtitles. They just it's just talk to

your interpretation. So very interesting. I have a question for you because I actually am a big star Wars person, I, I it's stocking to me that you like hadn't watched them before because you you like love movies, television. I feel like you're such like an absorber of culture. It's very true, but I feel like I just decided I didn't want to see that, and I, um, I just I was thinking of Valerie Cherish, which is why I got distracted this but I don't want to see that.

But I just didn't want to watch him. And I think also being the Empire of Community, where like a lot of annoying boys like love that stuff and want to referenced all the time. It was almost like an act of defiance to like just not know what they were talking about. It just like I don't care and I don't know, and I'm not going to know. But

you know you mentioned that. It's like and you're joking a little bit, but like that it's like risky to say you don't like Star Wars or whatever, but it kind of is like it is like it feels like you can't say you don't like anything, Like I don't want to say I don't want to have a negative opinion of like a show because I would like to be on most shows and like, I don't want to.

You know, it's kind of a tough spot when you're in the entertainment industry, but I felt like it's it's been kind of liberating, I think for me Nicole to say we don't like it, because then we've been finding things to like and we've been wanting I've seen it all, you know. It's like and the fans of Star Wars often hate Star Wars and they like are mad so many things about it, so it kind of kind of

fit in. Yeah, well that's kind of like where I think that the conversation is with Star Wars right now is just kind of damned if you do when damned if you don't. If you do like it, the taste police will attack you and be like even people even within the Star Wars fan community, it's like, oh, this one sucked. What are you talking about? They end up

ruining these movies, legacy is ruined, etcetera. And then if you don't like them, you feel crazy because these movies are i'll say, four kids, and they're also fun and passionately made, and like if you actually compare them to the old ones, they are like acted better and they are so much blood, sweat, and tears goes into them, and it's just to entertain you. So it's like to shoot on them feels cuckoo, and they are fun to watch.

So I feel like it's almost become that thing of like I'm equally scared to say my opinion about Star Wars as I am about like the Democratic politicians, because it's like, truly, even if your hard is in the right place, like or if it's not, you're fucked either way. It's it's actually very it's a really good analogy. It does feel like that because I feel like Star Wars as a franchise is this like smooth surface that everyone

is project their shot onto. But then it's also like, yeah, it's funny that you're comparing it to like Democrats, because it feels like it's also this committee to it's like not even like it's not even like like a a joyful thing. I don't know. I mean, like the original trilogy is like a beautiful like piece of storytelling. I don't know about the the Last Jedi. I love the Last Jedi. Everyone was shooting on it. Everyone was like,

the Last Jedi sucks, it sucks. And then I was like, I'm sorry, but I prefer this one over The Force Awakens because it doesn't just regurgitate the plot trilogy. And not only that, but also it took really bold stances and choices like spoiler alert for anyone that hasn't seen The Last Jedi, but like, the big reveal in The Last Jedi is that Ray is not special, that she's not actually related to anyone, that her identity is she's

just some girl. And then I won't say because you haven't seen it yet, but um, the Rise of Skywalker sort of makes an addendum or a choice on that, and it's like I didn't like it. I thought, oh, you really tried to do fans service here and it doesn't work for me. But that being said, I did like so much else about the movie, and ultimately I understand why that choice is the right one to make, because essentially what we have here is a soap opera in space. So why wouldn't you go can't be and

big and stupid like that? That makes sense to me because they're supposed to be that, that's the fabric of their identity, is Luke, I am your father, you know what I mean? Like they we're not talking about like grounded ship. Even even the line Anakin, You're breaking my heart is so camp iconic, stupid my heart. It's so funny, on the same level as Luke I Am your Father. It's like, oh my god, this is so melodramatic, so dumb.

You don't need to know. It's like you don't need to watched the last two movies to like understand how dumb that is. I don't know. I love Yeah, Well, I'm finding that even watching them doesn't help me understand what I'm now seeing. You. It's like I'm like, I wait, I've seen that, and yet I still don't know who these people are, what's happening. But I've been and I've been talking about it at length. But anyway, well, there's also a million characters and also, not for nothing, a

lot of them look alike. So their names are all like blue blah, blu blah blah, blue black, and I can't remember it. Yeahs ms. Miss Gluna Bay comes in and she I'm supposed to know she's different from Miss Tina Sun. I don't know, girl. I think I saw both these girls on the Jedi Council, both these girls. So I'm gonna say it. There's not enough women on the Jedi Council and it's a rural culture. Yes, there's no the Jedi Council. Um, Lauren, it's time for us

to ask you the question we ask all of our guests. Yes, um, and that question is, Lauren lapkis, what is the culture that made you say cold t is for me? Matt explain it, well, you know, this is the culture that made you say, okay that it really does clear it up, you know, Um, I was thinking about this question and we actually touched on it briefly. The thing that made me say culture was for me is the early nineties

Nickelodeon line Rugrats, dug Double edare Guts. Clarissa explains it all. Yes, yes, all of it, all of it. I feel like that was like my brain and like ren and stimpy, like all of that stuff. Like I feel like that was where like I feel like I started to form my personality and like neon colors and and and slime and ghack and like all that fun stuff like that was

like it in its own visual language. Is it's it's it's its own aesthetic, and it's it's its own sensibility and like it really did like shape it for a lot of us. Yeah, that green splatter is like so iconic with It's like you can remember I never what do they call it? Ghak or Google? What was that time like that? I never knew what it smelled like, but I always knew what it smelled like, you know what I mean? Have any I don't think so, Oh my god it I had it and I had floam.

Did you ever have floam? No? Oh my god. Floam was like the beady probably is like killing whales like permanently right now. It was like micro beads that you could like move into shapes and stuff. It was so fun. Where did you grow up? I grew up in Evanston, Illinois, right outside of Chicago. Okay, this is of course famous story parts culture. It is I don't know, will to we'll we'll touch on that a little bit later. But this is that's so funny because I feel like any

suburban kid that grew up with Nickelodeon. I just picture myself when I was that age, like drinking so much soda because because like that was so I just remember drinking so much soda in my basement, like running around in circles and like waiting for the next show to come on. Like it was so nineties culture to be like, oh yeah, there's a lot of soda in the house with the kids watch Nickelodeon. We don't even care the

kids running around? Why was it okay? Like I drink coke more than I drink water for sure, Like I don't remember drinking water. It was like there was always coke and sprite on the table when I was going he had cokes, right, you might have minute made in a can concentrate. Yeah, yeah, dr Pepper you off no Mountain Dew. I mean, you know, I had phases like Dr Pepper was like a summer, like Mountain Dew was

a summer. Like there were just like moments where you like, I'm gonna try this new one and then it was everything. But like it was fully like that all the time, watching TV all summer long. I don't know. It's just the best spinning ever. It feels so good, like I mean, and now we have to do it and it feels bad. I don't know. I know. It's so funny because if you went back in time and told like little kid me, like hey, like when you grow up, you're gonna write

for TV and sometimes it's even gonna be animated. Isn't that cool? Like he'd be like fuck it, And now I'm like I have work. But see on the other side of that, it's like every people are like mentioning this, are like commenting on this thing where it's like it does feel like we're all like adolescents in a way, or like we're like right now, yeah, we're like latch key kids were like home alone before our parents are

or whatever. It's like we just gotta like kill time the same way as we did, like when we were like twelve year olds in summer. No, it's so true, and I think I actually have gone through like waves with this. We're like at first, I was like, Okay, I watched TV all day, I smoke weed, I do whatever I want at all hours, and I stay up all night on my phone like I can do whatever I want. And then like a couple of weeks and

I was like this is probably not good. And then like a couple of weeks later, I was like, Okay, now I'm gonna have a schedule like I just like I was. I think it's what my kids self would do to like you guys, just because mom and Danna and hear thee we have to be bad all the time, like actually get done. Wait, you know what I think is a good idea for you? Did you see and and also like and this is on idea for us as well. Did you see that they are rebooting Legends

of the Hidden Temple on Quimby? I did see that. Wait, what is the story with that girl? I think it's just that they are literally kids and it's not kids, it's for adults, and it's gonna be like more adult challenges. I think that they're specifically catering to the kids that grew up with that, which is I think so smart. And it's gonna be like essentially, it's gonna be like Survivor esque, like real physical challenges, like not like you have to spit its head. It's like, you know, you

have to do like crazy stuff. And so I think you and your husband should go on it. Literally love that. I would love that so much. Wait, did you say that they have a rebootive? Say by the Bell Coming and Tracy Wigfield wrote it and it like looks good, it looks like edgy and cool. I'm sure it's going

to be good. It looks like funny. I'm so excited of course that I was like trying to figure out who wrote it because it was so funny, and I was like I had to Google after I saw the trailer because I was like, this is hilarious and all the like original people are coming back and being like cool now, like as actors, like they had to do like a kind of funny version of their old character.

But see No, but this is a specific thing that not enough people are doing, which is to reboot kids game shows from the nineties or the odds, but have the contestants aged to have aged up like you do, like a bad example, bad Pitch, but like adult We're in the world is Karmen san Diego, But it's like edgy and sexy or whatever. I don't know that they're reboot they are rebooting Carmen san Diego, and you know it, who miss Gina Gina David Gina Davis. Honestly, I would

gag Karmen san Diego. No, that's amazing. Way is it a show or what is it? Like I think it's a Netflix thing. I don't know if it's a movie or that's finger on the pulse. No, but you need you need game shows. I agree with you. It's it's not like oh Edgy Sebreed to chet and Twitch. It's not that. It's like you need game shows where the content. It's like this legend of the Legend of the Hidden Temple thing is brilliant because it's a kid's game show

from the nineties with adult contestants. Now, like that's what you need more of. And do you think if, like was Carmen san diegoga geography show, like it's questions where you have so it's not super sexy, but like like something where like you can repurpose the container. Well, I think it'd be really funny to watch adults like get geography wrong, Like I would be horrible in it. Yeah, you know what is that show? Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Still on? That's a funny show. That

is a funny show. It was hard. Well, I'm on this upcoming season, this current season of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Wait? Talk? I was on a Millionaire too? You are you? Are you on like a celebrity verst it is? Yeah? Yeah, I don't know how I got into this situation. I was I was on a normal person version and it was like it was like two years ago, and I was Chris Harrison, Okay, I'm freaking out, Wait is it online? Yeah? I watch. I always loved

to spill tea about this. So I went to go do it, and I literally I was I was able to pick a friend to come with me, to come be my plus one. So Sudie and I went to go do it in Las Vegas. They fly you out and yeah, it was insane. We stayed at the Mandalais bay Um and it was like it was this whole thing and so we go in and Chris Harrison is the host and you can just tell he's like, check the funk out. He has been hosting for twenty five years,

like straight up NonStop, truly The Bachelor. I was saying, if anyone out there you might have fans who would be willing to do this. I really want like somebody to do a supercut of Chris Harrison saying every name of every person has been on The Bachelor Bachelor, like like every just every single name. Yes, that's what someone needs to do that. Also, you watching The Bachelor is

very funny on and staff. It's my favorite thing. I started watching Listen to Your Heart and now I'm doing um watch along on my Patreon where you can sink it up and hear my commentary on the show. Because I was doing like a trillion Instagram Live stories and I was like, this is killing me. Okay, wait tell me the about Millionaire. Here's the t is, like you can watch it. It is it is online like you can find it. I ended up winning five thousand dollars.

I was on two episodes because like Sudie and I like answered a question and like it was at the end and it was a whole like TV moment. We were like, are they gonna get it? And then they they ended it after we got it. So I came on the next episode. So what they make you do is it's not actually the next day obviously, you just change your outfit and then you go offset and you walk on. And they didn't really go through with me, like what the cues were going to be for me

to walk on. So I ended up coming on like a little earlier whatever, and I guess, I guess I turned to the audience and made like a face and they laughed, and Chris Harrison didn't like that. And so I did my entrance and he did that thing when he shook my hand of like shaking your hand and pulling you in like sort of like not not for nothing, but like how Trump does like like is he like was he trying to like assert dominance and like I

think that's what was happening. And so I kind of got like knocked off my feet a little bit, and you can even see in the video I'm like a little thrown off by it. And then I wheel around to my podium and I can see on my face I was like not happy, and I remember like he really pulled my hand like to try to make me feel like a little boy, you know what I mean.

Like he was definitely I think it was maybe like the end of a long day for him, and he was just not hiding it well, like you could tell that he was really not happy that I had even for a second slowed things down and it was Yeah, but he doesn't he doesn't exude a joyful presence, let's just say that. But he has to present his like a blank slate like all the time. Funniest way to put it, he does slate. He has to be invisible in some way he's letting the action happen around him. Yeah,

but you compare him to someone like Jeff Probes. He's not even in the league now, like Survivor is Jeff Probes. The Bachelor is not what's his face? I don't even know, you know, but they're in some ways. It is like I feel like the people on the show make it as though he is the point of the show, like when they leave, like he is their center, Like he's kind of like the nucleus, and like everyone returns to him after the show, after they're off the show, and

it's the way to stay attached to the show. Yeah, they're always like, well, you know, if Chris shows up, you know it's bad news and it's like oh God. And then on Survived where they're like, oh, here comes Jeff, and you as the viewer are like, Jeff's here, Jeff's Here's something's going down. But for me, when Chris Harrison comes, I'm like, I don't care about this. You're a mouthpiece for the producers. For me, I always believe it's Jeff. That makes sense. I see. I don't watch Survivor, but

I've been told I need to. I'm gonna Stait Lauren, you you and I should start like on similar timelines, because I've been getting all sorts of information, like you should start with this season, this season, this season, and yeah, we should find out what the best one is. I can tell you it's it's my favorite thing that I have done for myself is getting to Survivor during quarantine.

It is so good. It's such a good show. And you forget because I'm sure it was this like thing yea, truly, it's wasn't like this thing in your culture that you always knew was there. It's been on for forty seasons, so it's like it's been on there our whole like childhood and adult life, and you forget. But it is so good, like even the weaker seasons, like it's always so compelling. That's so awesome. Yeah, Mary loves Survivor. She's obsessed.

I'm going to contact her about it. Well, you really find out people come out of the woodwork, Like when I when I said I was watching Survivor and I'm actually I can announce right now I'm doing us an online Survivor, Like it's going to start soon. What do you mean it's this thing called Survivor Quarantine. I don't know what it is, but I'm I'm on that quote unquote second season of it, and I will keep everyone informed just like what that means, Like I am doing

I don't want to watch that. I was essentially cast. They were like, hey, would you want to do this? We see that you love Survivor and I was like, wow, I love that. I'm really excited. But um, it's true. Like I said, I was into it, and all of a sudden, these people I had no idea were like, I'm obsessed with that. I've watched it for twenty years, Like like like I didn't know you were into it, and I was like, I'm really not. But this whole community like is hiding in the shadows but come out

into the light. That's like all I'm seeing on like the socials now, it's like people, this is the thing I do feel like from this quarantine, like everyone is sharing a lot more of their personal life, like not even necessary on a super deep level, but stuff like that where it's like they normally wouldn't tweet about that show, but now they're like looking to engage with people about it because they want connection, which is nice. It is nice. I do think it's a nice side of fact of

our social media addiction. At least we have this right now. So like, I do think it's helping me feel more connected to people, but where normally it might feel bummed about it. But totally there's there's a couple of friends in l A that I think I see more now than beforehand because we're like playing games on Zoom every now and then. Like you know, it's like you you feel like you're compelled to keep up with people, um, whereas before you kind of took it for granted. And

I do think there was something. You know, my boyfriend reposted something that I thought was really an interesting way to um say this. I'm going to read it out loud because I thought it was really interesting. It was. It was the tweet that he posted today in his story. He said, it's it's a tweet from Ashley Seaford, who you can follow at ice. I smash fizzle um and she said, you are watching people go through withdrawal from the emotional addiction to the myth of certainty. Yeah, I

have to think about that. I actually had to walk it back for a second too, But it's pretty interesting. Like we all really take for granted that there's gonna be more time. It's so true. I mean I think, like, you know, when you're living your life, it's so easy to forget about that, and then you'll see something like I always think about Chris Kelly's movie other people because I just think that title is the movie is amazing, but the title is so relatable that you think these

things happen to other people. And this is the first thing we've had in our lifetime where it's happening to everyone at the same time, and we're like, oh, ship, yeah, I'm I'm interested to see down the road what it has done to the consciousness for sure. Totally. Chris Kelly another survivor, watch him too. I want to say something really quick about Jeff Probes, and this is just my

general theory about like what makes a good reality show host. Okay, Jeff probst Pad Malakshmi, like Rupaulic, these are people who like embody what the what the show is about, and like like the goal is to try to impress and please the host. Like these people as the host, whether or not their judges or whatever is like kind of not relevant. But like Chris Harrison. You're like, no, like the women aren't there to like impress or please Chris Harrison, and so that he does not feel like a vital

part of these like athos is. It's just like, oh, like these hosts that are like like even like Heidi Klum and Tim Gun It's like, oh, these are like people that you respect that You're like, like, we have to they they they embody what the show is about. And you either have you either you either have gravitas or you don't sure, but above that and that's the rule of culture, you either have thief. Now, I feel like Chris Harrison. People can make the argument that he

does have gravitas. I feel like he is a blank slate. He presents a blank slate. Well, those people shouldn't become lawyers. And that's what I'd say. It's a royal culture number twenty. Honey, if you think lawyer, I just threw my socks. Now, before we take another break, I do want to just get from you the true intel on television shows of that time. So could you maybe rank two shows from that time, Like I'm talking the animated shows that everyone

was watching from Nickelodeon. What are your favorites. What what ones do you think never really found it? Like, what are the shows that that you feel are the most culturally imperative from that time period? I would say I always feel Running Stimpy is one of them because it's disgusting, it's beautifully drawn, it's funny, and the characters are very clear.

I love that show. Um, that one, and it's it's also like the art is you can kind of stand alone as like beautiful pieces of art, which is very well done and very interesting. Um. I would say Doug comes in with the storytelling, has heart. Doug is like Doug is like Arthur before there was Arthur. Like Doug is like a meaningful, relatable but he's very sappy and he's very like emotional romantic. Um, well drawn emotionally and physically. Yes, um, rug rats. That's one that I actually I think is

like very um pleasing in its chaotic energy. It's kind of has a frenetic sort of style to the drawing. Um. It's it has perspective of the so when you're watching it as a child, it's funny because it's like your perspective and like how babies like you know, It's like that's what the babies are thinking, which is basically what I am when I'm five or six or seven, right, and then as you get older you can watch it from the parents perspective and it's funny in that way. Yes, yes,

I love that. No, sir, I was just pointing just to emphatically agree, keep going. Um, I would say, though Arthur.

I did mention Arthur, and it's not from Nickelodeon. That is one that I would rush home to watch after school, and I said, pss, that's just a sweet show, and like I could still quote it, and I love how they would also do that kind of thing where they would go to like kids schools in real life and show like a clip from the kids school and then they would like have a moment on Arthur, and that was very sweet. Those are my tops, I think, actually, I think those are my faves. But do you have

anything you would add? See? Honestly? For me, like, I feel like the one that really exists in my mind still is um Rugrats and I. But but every now and then I will get flashes back to Rocco's modern life and I remember, like just the broad comedic choices I thought were so funny at the time. And it's interesting because me as a child would not have said

that was one of my favorite shows. But I think me as an adult, what what stuck with me that must in something is the fact that I still remember like he would like this is insane, but Rockle got like flung from one house to another one time and landed and like his neighbors like huge tits and the woman, the woman just goes, oh damn. And I was just like, that is so funny. Today, just so many things like

I feel like I don't I don't. I don't watch children's shows now really, so I can't really say, but it feels like we were in a time where like they were doing edgy or stuff like that. Like peace was another thing I was going to say as my culture because it was like it's kind of got a whole like undertone to it that you just don't get as a kid, And it's so funny for the adults, like there's something weird happening at all times for everyone

in the room. Like I love that there was there there was like a sense of danger to those shows that like you don't really get, like stuff now might be a little too sanitized. Again, I don't know. I'm not watching this, but it feels like that, like I think we'll run and stimpy, like they would like zooming on someone's ass and they on their butt and it's like no one's doing that. There was so much there was butt crack in every show. This is my This

is my theory. No, this is my theory on why we were able to get away with a lot and see a lot as kids because our parents were the

Baby Boomer generation and the baby Boomer generation. The way they like played and the way that they did things is they just went out on their bike and rode around like like my dad when he was young in the early sixties, like he would ride his bike from his house on Long Island to say stadium and like seriously like and ride ride like bike back or I don't know exactly where they lived, he moved around a lot.

But they were so much more free as children that I don't think it was top of mind for them to be like monitoring and watching what we as children were consuming as much as gen X parents and millennial parents, especially millennial parents are now and maybe parents are a little bit more lenient. I don't know. I think it's just I think it's just the way you learn two parents, the way you were parented, and you're you're gonna like

either be overcorrective or do the same thing. I remember my my parents, like I was down in the basement watching whatever the fuck, and then every now and then they would come down and it would be like MTV and they'd be like, turn it off, and you're forbidden to watch this. So of course they're going to think, I'm fine with like Nickelodeon. But I don't think they knew and or cared about the rampant butt crack. They didn't.

They didn't have the media literacy to like draw the lines in any like defined way, so like it was just a very arbitrary and rainow. They'd be like, Matt, stop watching Real World or whatever. Well, I guess it was have been weird too, because the TV was like suddenly more and more things were available as we were growing up, Like we didn't have cable for a bit, then we had cable, and then that spends the whole another thing. No no, no, no no, But that's that's

that's my point. It's like now you have you have jen X and millennial parents who are like who understand what's out there, and like how of a pretty like um macroscopic view of like all the crazy garbage that's out there that could potentially like that they kind of clutching your pearls at like if I was a kid, and like god, there were so many butt cracks and running stimpy, like I better, I better make sure that

my kids aren't watching butt crap. Well, I mean it's true when you think about us all getting the Internet at a certain point and then like the things you saw and did on there that were unsavory, and then we were children doing these things, and so as you as you have kids of your own, it's like, Okay, I know what's on the Internet, so I definitely don't want you to go look at the insane porn or whatever. Yeah, I remember, I remember the day like parental controls were invented.

Like it was like I was like I was like eight or nine years old, and it was like this thing now on a o L where it was called parental controls and you're remember really trying to keep it from you read the press release like it was like one day there wasn't and then one day there was.

And I was like oh, I have to keep this from my parents so they don't stopped me from going in like any old chat room, which I now know looking back, had oh thousands of petals in it, probably, but I know, did you ever watch to Catch a Predator? That show is so disturbing dark I kind of loved it,

but it's so disturbing, and you know that. I was thinking about how, uh like that that sort of programming that was for quote unquote four kids when we were younger, Like I didn't talk down to the kids, and like, um, that's I think why we enjoyed it, and also parents could enjoy it. It sort of does remind me of Story Pirates, which you are also a story pirate. We all have Story Pirates legacy, yes, And I was just thinking about how that was something I don't know about you.

You probably knew everyone from from way back, but I didn't. Actually I moved to New York and joined Story Pirates. Um, I guess someone must have recommended it to me. I can't remember who the initial connection was, but then Duke Doyle was a part of it, and we went to high school, but I didn't know that he was a part of it, so it's kind of this like, and then I didn't go Northwestern, so I didn't know any of those people, so it was all, you didn't go

to Northwest. No, No, I'm just I just grew up down the street from it, but I like joined and then everyone had lived in Evanston. So it's kind of a nice connection to have with people where you feel like you're sort of from the same place. Yeah, when did you meet Laura Ashley Smith? Well, for everyone that doesn't know, Story Pirates is a group. It's in New York in l A. And what they do is bowen.

Myself and Lauren are all in it, and um, it's like hundreds of actors and comedians and singers and dancers, etcetera. Who take stories that are written by kids, and then we pick some of them and stage them as like little sketch comedy shows, and we go to the schools and perform those stories for the kids. And it's a surprise they don't know that there are some of their stories are going to be performed in front of their eyes, and it's just like encouraging them to write and be

creative and it's really really fun. And so that's what we're talking about I just wanted to come out of school shows, where some of my favorite shows to do, because because we would do some at like theaters and other places as well, but like the school shows were so touching because the kids have such a heartwarming reaction to and they and just even being excited for each other, like if it wasn't their story but it was their friend.

Like they're so excited. They are all supportive, they're they're like there's no like maybe there is and we just don't see it, but like there's no like air of jealousy or like contempt when whenever you were like we would announced the kid's story was being staged, right, No one's going like, oh man, it's not mine, Like yeah, I mean it's it's I think what helps is it's like there's like four kids watching and we do like five and it's not like okay and yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah exactly. My story with how I met Lauren Ashley Smith is kind of interesting because I had joined story Parrots and then at the time I was really into using Tumblr, so I searched story parrots on Tumbler and I found her blog and her name was Lauren and she was in story parrots, and I was like, my name is anything, but I hadn't started, so I hadn't

met you one. So I followed her and we started following each other and we would message a little bit, and then we finally got to meet, like at a story parts rehearsal thing, and really lifelong friends ever since it was I met some very good friends from that,

and that's why I'll remember. I always remember a couple of things from it, which is how good it felt to do those stories for the kids, and you know that that feeling of empowering them, and you know the teachers that would come up after with tears in their eyes and being like you guys picked you, guys picked

exactly the right kid. It felt like it always happened, um that, So I always remember that, and I always remember the great people that I met doing it, and everyone you know, always on the same page because it didn't pay much money, but it was just some really good community and always I always knew when someone was the story parts that I already liked them. Yeah, I

feel the same way. It was my first like little comedy community outside after college, like before you see be even because I was I was just saying from and I was just like, oh, you know, I'm just meeting people here and there through classes, but like Story Pirates just felt like there was like this purpose in direction and like around getting better at performance, because they really do drill into you, like in the training is like

basically committia del arte principles and like really like fundamental things about performance that like no one ever really tells you out right. Yeah, it was really helpful with like being super clear and like yes, having a point of view and and just like sticking to one thing. Like it's really helpful with all stuff. Yeah, I always forget about how like fundamental it was in my education as

a performer. You're right about the clarity because it's kids watching it, and so even though some of the content is just goofy and sometimes like they don't even know it, but the kids have written an edgy thing, and we as adults performing for kids, are like we're going to do this and say, well the kid wrote it, um, But it really was because kids are watching it, you essentially have to perform as like a two dimensional character on stage, which I'm sure for the three of us

is kind of a thrill. As people who have the ability to be super perhaps even too big. Um. But yeah, while we're saying this, I do want to say like, in this time of quarantine, you know, they're not doing shows, so you could definitely donate to worse places than story pirates dot com if you have Oh my God to get cast if you're home with your kids, they have a podcast that's obviously safe for kids to listen to.

Two albums on Spotify to Spotify They're wonderful, Lauren, what was your favorite story to perform to your do you do you have one? Oh? Wow, oh oh, I'm trying to remember. I did one. I remember doing one. Um that I was very exciting for me because I was like the lead of the story and it was like Ballerina and Angelica Houston was in the audience, Like yeah, so that was cool. Um. I always like, there was this one song that was cars crashing into robots. Do

you know that one? Yeah? Yeah, it's It's a song I had a dance and I always liked. I always loved because you know, the in story parts, Like, some people are really good singers and I wouldn't put myself in that category, but I love performing with really good singers and they just like crush it. And like there's something about like singing this like simple children's song but like really well and like doing a dance, it's like thrilling,

Like it's like it's like showmanship. It's like you're you're all like working towards some common goal together. Um so I feel like you wait what I was gonna say. There was one where that I was directing and you were in the cast, and we went to Austin, Texas. And I used to go to Austin, Texas every year with story parts. In fact, one time I got chased out of a bar because someone. It was after the show.

We all went out in Austin and someone we went to a taco truck and I felt the guy took my money from me, and of course I was like two drunk, so that I got like I had to be like kicked out of this bar in Austin on story fin strip. Well, we might have to cut that out.

Maybe not um, but anyway, UM, I remember the story that we did was I wrote it or adapted it based on what the kid had written, and it was called when You See Me Dance, But it was about this like, um, little girl who the mother was very mean, and the mother was like, you can't dance, like that's not what we do. Now do your homework. And she's like, when you haven't even seen me dance, and when you see me dance, I know you'll change your mind. And like I made it into this song and Bowen played

the mother. At the end, I had to run through the aisle. I had him come through. There was like the stadium seating in this elementary school for some reason, and I had him come all the way down the stairs watching Chrissy Shappeleford like dance. And he was like, I'm watching her dance and I'm changing my mind. And do you remember the song Bowen, It's it's like tucked way like as soon as you see in the first two notes, like it was when you see me dance,

it will change. When you see me dance, You're gonna change you up. Waity wow. I mean, it was a beautiful story and I'll just never forget Bowen singing it. That sounds beautiful when you see me dance sounds like a movie that wins Sundance or something like. It just is like a cool, interesting title for something I remember, like I was reading it like the kid wrote it, and it was so like purposefully written. She was like,

my mother wouldn't let me dance. And I thought to myself, when you see me dance, you will change your mind. And I was just like, this is it? Like this is jumping off the page. It's so good. Bow and what's yours? My favorite stock story is apple Land, which, um, you are so good at apple Lands? Lauren? Did you ever? Did you ever see apple Land? Laura? Actually? Yes, did did it a couple of times? I don't know if

I know that one? How did it go? Okay? So basically it's it's so crazy, it's um this whoever introduces is like this next story is written by someone named Sianni and it's called apple Land. And then I come out, let's just say, I'm I'm driving it, and I go, hey, what's up you guys? My name is Sianni, and I am going to tell you guys about the most amazing apple field place. It's called apple Land. Okay, do you guys want to know how to get there? Oh? No no?

And then I bring up my three best friends to tell them how to get there, and I'm getting them hyped up about apple Land, and then I'm like, okay, it's basically this like this like Beckett play, where like I'm screaming, amazing, it's amazing, and I'm screaming at my friends for not getting it right, for not following my directions, and then like you never get to apple Land, and I fully have a nervous breakdown in the story. It's it's truly, it's so good in it. I remember like

it was like a legend. I thought I knew like I thought I knew what Bone could do, and then I saw performed apple Land. I was always that kid that the kid. I was always that one that was doing wanted to do the musical stories. And even though apple Land was not a musical story, I love that one. It was a funny that one. I mean that sounds so funny. It sounds it's like the way you describe it is the perfect story. Pirates sort of set up

like it's just one person's got a whole thing. They bring in their friends, they tell each friend, and then they do the next thing. It's like very fun, it's very satisfying, so good. I I missed Story Parents a lot. It's so sweet. Yeah, it's a great little, great little cump. And that's a company. Um, it's a great little cump, the little cump that could. Um. So listen, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna take a little break and we're gonna be back with Laura Leptis And we're back

with Laura Lebkuz And here's the deal. We're rolling around on that time where it becomes time for I don't think so, honey, Before we do, I want to tell you something. I thought that there were many failings of the second Jurassic World. Number the number one failing was that you were not in it. I can't believe that. I have questions myself, but you know, you were the stand out part of Jurassic World. And I was like you, honestly, the joke can you tell us? Was that joke in

the script? That thing of Jacob and I have a boyfriend? No, So it was like we kind of there. We we shot two versions, so we shot one where we kissed, and it was kind of like the underdogs getting their moment of you know, the nerd moment of like because initially I believe what it was was that initially, um, Bryce Dallas Howard and Chris Pratt did not kiss in the script, but then they had a passionate kiss within that was improvised. But great, this is my understanding. I

could be incorrect, but I think that's true. And so we shot both ways because they weren't sure if they were going to use that because that was intended, or if we would have because initially it was supposed to be funny that we were the ones who have the kiss because that's unexpected. And then then we shot a version where we improvised the boyfriend thing of like let's just go back and forth with like what you would say if you know I don't want to kiss you

and you know. So that was very fun. The standout moment of the whole film number one, best part of the movie, Well, I that's a lie. The best part of the movie is Dallas Howard outrunning a t Rex in in heels, and of course Bryce SaaS Howard's hair, but yes, but she's she is like perfect in the whole thing. But I mean, I love Bryce Dallas. I'm a Bryce Hollis Doward stand and I stand Bryce Hallis Doward. It's actually rolal culture number thirty one. It's dowar Um,

what is she like? She was so nice, She was really cool, and she showed me that she can cry out of whichever I you tell her to. She did. She she was like, she was like, yeah, tell me what John and I was like that one and she was like and then a tear just popped out. I was like, so jealous to me. That's also an iconic part of Dressic World is when the Dominus rex is like has its face coming around the thing and she just turns to one she turns to one side and

a single tear rolls down her eyes. Come on, she's giving it everything to this film. I want to do that. Yeah. It was literally Boone and I said to each other like that, we couldn't believe we respected that movie so much that they did that joke of oh I have a boyfriend, Like it was well. The director, Colin Trevor,

he like he has like a comedic background. He did like a that Indian movie Safety Not Guaranteed with right right right, That was like his bigger Like that was like the movie he had done right before he to Drastic World. So um. He has a sense of humor and that was great to be able to do something funny in that movie. Yeah, that rocked, And I thought, I think that Jurassic World sometimes gets gets an unfair

shake because I think it's really fun. And my my number one problem with Jurassic Park is I felt like you didn't see enough of the theme park, like when you say, like Donna's dinosaur theme park, like, I want to see that. Well, so I think that that movie Jurassic World has a lot of great like the mastodon eating the thing eating the thing or whatever. You know, It's like I don't, but it's so shocking. It was drag. It was drag, which is what I want from those

movies like Jurassic World, Fall in Kingdom. It wasn't drag. It wasn't like camp. Like that's why I like Rise of Skywalker is because it was drag and camp and for the young gay girls. I'm actually excited now that you said that, Oh it's for the young gay girls. Let me tell you we got we got Carrie Russell in a fucking skin tight uh, the bounty hunter outfit.

We got a little little guy named Babu Frick. Oh girl, it's it's for the it's and and then honestly it goes down with Kylo Wren and Misrae and so really, on my god, Nicole and I are going to cringing out. We wrote we wrote fan fiction that's like literally porn about that. Oh my god. Literally when it goes down between when it goes down between Misrae and Kylo Wren, I screamed. I was with Matt Wittaker. We saw it in for the X. Our chairs were spinning. It was honey.

It was basically it was basically at theme park ride the chair is moving. Anytime this water you get fully sprayed in the face. It's iconic. And when they and the big the best special effect is what has the chemistry between Miss Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver And when it went down between them, I literally screamed in the theater. Yes, I was like, sot it okay, good, that's well, and we're like, this is the horniest movie. The Last Jedi is so horny. They're like so bad and then nothing

really happens. It's really disappointing. But I haven't seen it either. I I got now I'm like, I'm going to decide between Survivor and Start and Last Jedi or tell both great epic pieces of content. Maybe maybe, well maybe you should start Survival with Lauren and then also virtually watch rides at the same time as you need to say, like what what Survivor we need to watch? Because I don't want to just waste my time with some season

that's not that good. So here's the deal. I would say. Ordinarily, I would say you should start with an early season um to sort of get acclimated to what the rules are. But you know what the rules are as sixteen people on an island or wherever, they split up into two tribes. The tribes compete and like one wins and they have to vote and the other team must have vote someone out.

It whittles down to so you get that. So what with that being said, and this is for all the readers as well, I would start with season seven, which is Pearl Islands. This is what I would do, Season seven Pearl, then season which is Cook Islands, and then person only for me, I would follow the Journey of Poverty, the character of Poverty or the contestant Parverty She is

Real um, which is season seventeen Micronesia, and then we'll talk. Okay, that feels like enough homework yeah, that's she did write it down. We can we can improve she wrote it down, and um, that's what I'll say about that. But listen, it's actually in fact time for I don't think so honey, it's time. It is time in Matt's coming in hot with an already controversial one that he's given away, but I can't wait to to hear the points around it. So do you wanted to start? I'll start, okay, all right,

Satt Rogers, I don't think so honey. As time starts now, I don't think, so honey, fetch the bolt cutters. I just I try so hard. And I also really don't think so honey that I know I'm wrong, and the attitude around it, but I'm sorry. This is the same reason why I don't like Wes Anderson, because I don't so honey, west Anderson. I don't want to listen to a song that was obviously inspired by the way a cracker dissolved in my hot Hot soup. It's like this

tweet stuff that I really don't like. Honestly, I don't think, so honey that people are so obsessed with this album because I saw girls in Brooklyn do this same kind of music the same type of way. I don't understand what's so new and special about it, beside the fact

that it's you, obviously, miss Fiona Apple. Honey. I saw Two Yards do this eight years ago in Bolan, and I guess what I did take it then, and it almost led to the breakup of my then relationship because I was like, I can't even pretend to like this, and he got mad at me. And he is one of you, the people out there who act superior because I don't get this feeling Apple thing. But it's a bunch of nickels in a jar getting shaken around and

someone singing like a rabbit over it. I don't think so, honey, Okay, and that's one minute. I just don't get it. I haven't listened to it yet. I think I can't weigh in. I don't know yet. I feel like, Matt, the only thing that I will agree with you on is that it is very similar to early two Yards, where it's like, okay,

it's like it's not fully novel. Mean, the thing that people are like freaking out about it is like the novelty around like what she's doing with like instruments and how like she like basically like produced it from home, and like you know, like there's there's there's, there's all this like fun lord to it. That's very like on the nose Fiona Apple likes topping on it. She's topping on the box with with her dog bones in it.

Like it's like stuff like that. It's like the mythos of Fiona is like suffused to the whole thing, and so people are like loving it, which like me, if you, if you like have followed her album to album, it's very satisfying. But I get like for someone who hasn't really like lots John do it ever at any point, Like I get how that feels. I get how that

feels like inaccessible, but but I don't. I think it's a little reductive for you to call it twee though I mean maybe maybe maybe it's a misuse of the word. But for me, it's just like I understand that there's like powerful lyricism happening, Like I read the lyrics and

I understand, I get it. But for me, it's like, um, I just I knew that when you when you rub two nickels together, it makes a sound, you know what I mean, Like that's not like a revolutionary tent on Pitchfork for me, and so for me, I guess what I'm really I don't think so honeying at the core is this sort of like embellishment and hyperbolic, like insane praise the album is getting because I think it's you know, exactly what Joanna Newsom has done her entire career. It's

it's not quite okay whatever, this is my now. But now I sound like a jerk, and I'm like, see, but this is what I and this is the war that they're trying to start. The war is they're trying to start a war between high and low class, and and they've been trying to do that with me and Bowen because I'm famously low class and Bowen is famously high class. Bowen is the Atlantic where I am us weekly,

and that's actually Pacific. I was like, how does the Pacific, well, you know, the Pacific has all the big sharks anyway, you know they don't. Um, I did a shark claw. Um. Anyway, that's what I think, and I'll give it another shot. But I really tried, guys, I really tried hard to

like this one. This is this is the thing, okay, And I also want to respond just um to to this, to this whole thing, like I've seen girls in Brooklyn do this, but like like the thing is like Fiona like basically invented like having like like being on keyboards and like truly like having a full on meltdown in front of the piano. Did she invent it? I didn't realize. I feel like I feel like she kind of did.

And just in terms of like culturally, how we like assigned meaning to um an artist like performing that, Like I think that's like that trope is I think like something that I respect her, I really respect her, and I would welcome her looking at me in my eyes and saying fuck you. I like, I would love it. I'm a fan. It's just that it's the hyperbolic response to it, which I'm god, you would think you were a fucking idiot for not liking this, and it's just

it's cuckoo. Sure, sure, okay, but it's honestly, maybe that's what I should go to therapy about. Maybe it's my own problem, but I just like the difference of opinion. I think it's fair. I'm sure there are people who agree with you, but it's just where it's that thing where you're like, I don't want to say it, yeah scared, Yeah, Okay, I get it, I get it. I get it well. And here's the thing. Now is the time since my

I don't think so Honey has ended. Now is the time that we pass it on to Bowen Yang and he does one and I don't think, so Honey, that is um And I'm actually just stalling because I might get my stop watch. Okay, here we go. This is Bowen Yang's I don't think so honey, and his time starts now. I don't think so Honey plans. Yes, I'm coming after plants on for twenty but I have a beautiful monster sitting in the corner. I don't know if I'm watering it too much or not watering it enough.

I look it up on the internet. It says water it once a week, but it seems like that's not enough because the plants are the leaves are yellowing, and I'm leaving it in like a decently lit corner. I don't know what. I don't know what to do here. I don't know what. I don't know what it means to have a damn green thumb in this world anymore? How do you intuit any of this ship No plants, it's it's a scam for people like me to feel bad about themselves for not being able to stay in

life this way. And plants, you're busted, You're done. I'm done with you. And you know what, So what if the earth rots? And if it means that you guys are gone and out of this world, then five good reddance, good reddance plants. While we're talking about I'm going to talk about weed. Indica, You're not working for me any anymore. No Indica is helping me fall asleep. I still feel a little too Five seconds on Indica and plants in general,

including marijuana, your trash. And that's one minute wowow. And he thinks he could just live without plants. It's so funny. It's so funny. But I really relate to that because I've never kept a plan alive and I have a fake plant behind me. It's gorgeous. It doesn't matter perfect. I can tell you just aren't getting the right plants. You know who bought me a plant from my housewarming, Jilkin Booster, And he got me a very good plant. And the reason why it's very good is because it's

I don't know what it really is. The deal with it is maybe it's a firm because you barely have to water it. That's what I need. I need something where like I need something where it never needs water and then when it does, it goes, hey can you water me? Yeah? Like, I can't guess I have a succulent. I've killed succulents before. We're gonna have joking. Booster reach out to you with the plant that he got me, because I think that you would enjoy this particular type

of girl. Okay, I think it's nice when people have plants in the house. I feel like it looks like, oh, I think it's it's the difference between nice decor and not. Hold on, I don't know some minimal damn throat over that the minimalists. The minimalists can come for me. Okay, But here's the thing. This is this is the thing

about watering plants. You don't water a plant and the plants like, hey, come water me, and the leaves start to go a little bit and you're like, okay, I'll water it, and I keep water and the leaves don't get better. It's it's they're not like wolverine where they start to regenerate. It's you never you can never win. You never can wait with the plant. So there you go.

You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. It's like having an opinion, truly, and in this country, in this country, Okay, Lauren laps I think it's time to I don't think so, honey. Are you ready? I am okay, this is Lauren Lapty is. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I don't think, so, honey. Me not dusting under my bed for many months at the time. I don't know what I think I'm doing by not dusting under my bed. I think in my mind it's kind of a if I don't see it. It's not

their sort of situations. But I will dust everything else around my men. But then time comes, when quarantine is time, and that's who I am inside now, and I am realizing I will do a deep clean and I go under the bed and I realized there is a full animal made out of dust that lives under the bed. And let me tell you, I had my allergies a couple of years ago, and I don't think so, honey. The only allergy I really have being dust my So why did I not does? What is wrong with me?

Why don't I respect myself? I think it's a real It shows a real low self esteem that I don't feel like to under the bed once a week and get all that stuff out from two pets. And I don't know what dust is, but it does make me feel really really gross when I pull a huge pile of gray out of my bag. I am a gross human being. I am an adult, and I do not clean every enough, and I don't think so honey, And

that's very good. Can I say, You've got to give yourself a break, because let me tell you what's hard to get to that's based under your bed. It really is. You have to get down in your stomach with a swift or on a thing and start pulling. It's not easy, no way. And and like I gotta ask, what's the what's the distance, what's the height? We're talking about less than a foot's still not enough? Yeah, still not enough?

Still still tight. It's tight. It's tight. They also form so quickly, Like I just moved to a new apartment and so I'm trying to at least in my beginning months being here, like making a habit of vacuum ming, and I'll be shocked sometimes like I'll have just vacuum already. They'll be like and he's like, I don't know. Maybe it's like where the way the light comes into my room or what. I don't know, but it really like you gotta be on it to have a totally dust

free apartment. Do you sometimes think that vacuums like create their own dust within them, because sometimes like I'll see the thing and then I'll that again it's full, and like, how is it full? There wasn't that much on the ground. I don't I don't know. I don't believe. It's also shocked. It's shocking when you vacuum and you see how much dust is in there from just like a couple of minutes. I was living with this all around, Like this is

like in the air. It's kind of like when you drive in l A and like like that during the fire season in l A. When you see what happens to the outside of your car, Yes, all the ashes and everything. Yeah, sick, You're like, this is what we breathe. I know it's bad, it's bad. Truly not good. I'm happy that everyone heard that so that now they can know it's time to fucking va ume. You gotta get under there. It's not easy, but it's you gotta do it.

I can't believe that, like things that we can't even see are like fucking up the world right now, including dust, including dust. I know, I know, Well it's that's what it's. It's so crazy this time. I'm not saying anything new, but like the idea of going outside and just being like, is it gonna be here? It's just so crazy. It makes everyone feel unsettled. It's wild. And I say dust, I say, you can't see dust, But you can't see it. But in terms of like a single speck of dust

it's got to collect, No, you can't. You can't see it. I don't keep it on my rug. And then I vacuum and it's the biggest pile of gray that anyone's ever seen inside there, And I'm like, excuse me, Yeah, it's like it's like a damn crypt. It's a damn crypt. You could tell me that I wasn't living in a damn crypt. It was remember Legends of the Crypt or what was that show? Called Tales from the Crypt. From

the Crypt, where is the crypt keeper bringing him? That good good movie recommendation is Tells from the Crypt Demon Night. This has Billy's aim, This has Jada Pinkett, and this has cc cc H Pounder and this is a movie that people should seek out. It is absurd. It is Tales from Their Crypt Brandon Horror, and it is ku coo Lulu. That sounds good. Check that out. I love Jada. I love Red Table Talk. I know we're like wrapping

it up, but I just want to know. I've watched some Red Table Talk too, and I'm going to say, those ladies go there. I love it. I love it. They really go there. It's like my favor. Yeah, yeah they do, they do. Yeah any time. Any time the kids are on what can we talk about? Quimby and how I just got it the other day and I started watching Games Show and it's so funny. Congratulation you have to be on the second Susan as a woman who I would love to Oh my god, I love it.

And Gabraels was so funny. It's so good. He is a Game Show winner of the live version. It didn't go his way on Game show on Quimby. But he is a very game partner. He's a veteran. Yeah. Yeah, he's so great. He's awesome and he's the best. And it was it was fun. And by the way, it's out now forever. All those readers who haven't yet watched it, and Quimby has a ninety day free trail and I

don't work for Quimby. I'm just telling you this. And also there's a show in there that I got into that was called, um it's called Murder House Flip or something, and it's like it's like houses where there was a horrible murder that people bought and then they have to flip it so they don't think about the murder all the time. And it's really good. Yeah, that's a really good show. And I couldn't believe what it was about.

It kind of felt like like a lot of the criticisms that the reviews of Quimby shows have been getting. It's like it feels like a dirty rock joke. And I'm like, yeah, but those dirty rock jokes, it's fun.

They are you would watch all of them. Yeah. Like, and there's another show called Dishmantled, which is Titus burgess host where it's like they literally rock it out of a cannon like a dish at these two chefs, and then the chefs have to like taste what's just been shot at them and they have they have like thirty minutes to make that dish and whoever is closer wins five thousand dollars and it's so and it's it's literally five and a half minutes long. They have they have

like Erica Jane guest judging it. It's like fun. It's sod. I like how short that things are for this weird time that we're because I know it's kind of meant for being on the go, but I wanted to try it out and I've been using it while I do like a chore. I'll be like, Okay, I'll watch one Quimby while I do my stup and I'll watch one Quimby while I did this, I think, And so it kind of breaks things up. Wait, you know it would be fun. Which I'm just realizing is we should have

you and you should be paired with my castle. Oh my god, I love that. I love a good marital moment. On the Live show, we had Naomi Kerrigan and Andy Beckerman and that couple, and I think they're so funny together. And Naomi is also like one of the she needs to like skyrocket. I'm like waiting for this moment. She's one of the funniest people to the Naomi. Naomi is my boyfriend's favorite comedian from from way before we met. He was like, oh my god, oh my god, do

you know Naomi Pergan. She's not a comedian, and like, she's so funny. I love her her just her perspective. She's just so unique. And my boyfriend doesn't does impressions of Naomi. And I said, hold on now, hold on now. And then I told Naomi that I have a Jubu. You do have a Jubo. I do I have a jew Bo. But it's you can do an impression Naomi. She goes quite women. Yeah, well that was good. That's that's my tracy is my Amanda's don't go jogging after tusk.

It's such a beautiful, timeless like like whatever, like Cadence or something like. Yeah, it's majestic, majestic and real. Yeah. She is the best, Yeah, the funniest of off you know who else is the funniest and best ever is Thank you guys are the best. I'm so happy I got to do this. This was so fun. And the thing is like we had Ego WoT him on the show last week, and I was like, we keep having these great remote episodes, but you've got to come back

so we can be in the flesh. I'd love to do that to ye Oh my god, I love Ego, Oh my god, and I want to last Weekend with some from Home. I thought it was so funny. There's a lot of really good stuff. Yeah, there's good stuff. We might do it again. We'll see. I was thinking like last week and I was like, wait, where is it? But it's a lot. It's a lot to produce in one week from home. I'm sure it was crazy with like getting people all the props and cameras and things.

I think I think that Saturday Night Live will be back. I really do. I really did. I think they're going to figure out a way to come back with that SNL. It's a dumb bit, oh, I see it's I was like, what do you mean, of course, seek out all of Lauren Lefcus, not that you really need to because the woman is everywhere and watch me on good Girls, and I have a movie coming out called The Wrongs Plugged,

the Netflix movie. We're doing it now. It's on May thirteen, wrong thirteen, Yes, and watch You're on Good Girls, which I love. I love. It's really fun. It's on NBC. I love. What did you get to work with Christina Hendrix? I did? I did. She's so nice. She had her cute dog on set and the dog was so sweet. She's great. Love call. We called her a gay icon to her face, Matt remember it was. And she was so great and she was like, well that's nice and

I was like, no, it's it's important. Um. All right, well this has been an absolutely stunning episode and it's called War. And you know, you know the way we end every episode is of a song. All right, what because I was and I need to be redeem again. Go off a