"To The Shoulder" LIVE (w/ Big Dipper)

the last the last couples getting a drink? Are you, in fact a couple? No? No? What's the chief reason why you are not? Gentlemen? M What was your I want to hear from you what what was your diplomatic And you were gonna say he prefers you know what were you going to say? Yeah, just a dick? Dick on anybody? Can I say? I don't feel like the dick is what's what makes me gay? You know what I mean? Like, let's unpack it's the it's the well. I don't feel that the dick is the most attractive

part of the man. This is what's happening or the mail presenting? You're a homosexual, which means you're attracted to the same gender and you're just attracted to men and men don't have to have dicks, but mostly like ass Actually, there, we got we got it. We got that. Um listen, listen. That was just a cold open. Really, that was just a little teaser for what was to come. This is the very first time I've ever done something like this. Yeah, where we've had a crowd fun. It's super loose, super

kash were loose, grouper Kaz. You're wearing like a like a stripe. Yeah, I wore this. Oh, this is gonna be a theme for tonight. We're gonna we're going to talk about breakups in general. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wore this to a thing two drinks on Monday with this guy um, and I thought he was gonna want to get back together, and instead what he wanted to do was just have a postmortem on us. He wanted to

have a top back about the relationship. It was like, Okay, I want to dress for the the boyfriend I want to have and I put this on and it was like, I want to accent my shoulders literally, can I ask the question I asked you every time this happens, which one wasn't Because there's two boys. Yeah, this one was the one who was already a doctor. Okay, not the one who not there's there. So there's two of them, and one of them is already a doctor, and one of them is like a baby. Um, they're both truly

both listen. Yeah, So it didn't it didn't work. So it was, in essence it was another breakup. Existentially, it felt like it felt like a rejection. It was like, okay, well, I'm not a fan of the positions that you keep putting yourself in with him. This is an intervention. Um, we're all here because we love you. Um, but that's okay, it's fine. You're in Los Angeles, babe. There's so many gay men. This one right, there's one right there. He chose the sat on the floor close to you. He no,

he was ushered in in place. Okay, Um, how are you? This is truly our first conversational moment of catching We've been separated, we've been separated, and it's been he's he's been the Bethany Frankel. All of a sudden, he's like, I gotta go, and so offendive. He walks in he walks in. No point was I ever, not ever, not even when she was likable. Never, Because I also I'm not that creative. He walks in, He walks, and he goes, uh, hi, sorry, I'm the Hello, good to see you. We haven't seen

each other in a while. I gotta go, I gotta go. And then and then it's like, yeah, it's like I get it. Matt used to, you know, sell muffins in a grocery store, and now he makes skinny Girl. It's great. Um, you know I identify with Dorinda. Yeah, but all of us want to be Derenda and what and what you and I both are are Ramonas Ramonas and um Sonia Risings. Yeah, yeah, so we are, you guys, fans of Real Housewives of New York York. My takeaway from the whole thing is,

what the fuck is Sonya's new apartment? Oh, it's so sad. It's so sad. It is I and the fact that she still has her assistant like hut up chunks of banana or whatever the funk and like put them on a plate and bring them to her while she is supine in her bed talking to herself out loud, it's sad. It's not whatever she voted for Trump. I don't care. I don't feel sorry for her. Okay, no, but this is the thing about the housewives. Tell us the thing about that, at least for New York Sonya Ramona Lui

an all little trumpets. And this is even worse. Tinsley registered in I think Florida and didn't vote. Did not vote. Guys, Okay, you shook your head. You were like, we've chilled the room. It's fine, we don't. We can move on anyway. We can. This is not but this is not about the election tonight. This is not about the election tonight. Um. It's about Breakupsum. Our guest broke up with someone two hours ago. So that's why we that's why we bring this up. That's

what that was. That's that feeling of thickness in the air. It's that it's at and I broke up with someone recently to two years ago, and I talked about it. Not not a lot. Yeah, but that's okay. He's doing well. He's petting elephants in Thailand. Don't worry. He doesn't listen anymore. He told me that. Okay. Oh, then in that case, it's really nice to see a white person in Thailand.

Here we go just drag white. No, no, no, take us down, because honestly it it immediately puts me in it just it takes me to any pre love place and and then I feel better. I feel nice. The shocking thing about like gay people in Thailand is if they were even to say that they were gay, like whisper it, they'd be immediately like, no, not in Thailand. Not in Thailand. It's the gaze are running around running the muck. Really yeah, no, Thailand is Thailand is great.

I Thailand though, is this I've never been, but I you would love to have gone right now? You'd love to expound. Yeah, I'm just yeah. I actually will just stop it right there. And one of my what do I havepen is they about Tilia. I do want to go to the eastern part of this world. No, no, no, no, no, last thing you said I want to go to the East. I would like to go to the East. Keep calling it the East. I would like to go to the East because they have a large disneyland in Shanghai that

I would like to go to. Yes, queen, yes, why did you just go? You are Okay, what's your name? What you have a sweatshirt? Oh it's a it's a dad. I'm even better. What's your name? Hey girl? Um? I know about forty five Amanda's Um hi, you pointed, Really no, that's good if I I would love to have a Disneyland Instagram. In fact, I sort of do. It's my personal instagram. Um. So I just went for my birthday. It was really great. Yes, um we ate. I ate a turkey like somewhere they're so big he got he

got the trip to fan honey anyway? By no, no, no? How often do you go? Do you have a season pass? Yes? What's the cadence? How often are we going? Seriously? Okay, that's literally what I'm going to turn into if I move here. I have Sunday off And I was like hmm, and then can I ask what do you do? What do you do? Do you have to have to have a job? Do you work? See? That's cool for what it could become uncool so fast right now? Literally for what? Yeah? Wait, go back, go back? So does he get do so

we'll say your job into the mic. I'm a social media producer for Dr Philips. You asked you By the way, you asked how did this happen? Is because I said the word Disneyland and you went like this, that's how this is currently happening. Okay, So does he come up with like social media ideas and you make them a reality. It's it's more like strategy, like he help him with that, Like we kind of come up with stuff to post for. What does he struggle with? What does he have trouble

to do with me? He wants to post like a lot and we have to be like, no, like, don't post that much. You need to like less is more, you know, Yeah, yeah, I agree, Um cool, um, okay, So gotta say I gotta point out Dr Film, my second favorite TV doctor. I like Dr oz Oh. It's a hot button issue in this room. We'll post the post Trump interview. He's he's done. Oh I didn't know about this? What happened? What do you mean you didn't know about this? This was in the fucking lead up

to the fucking election. Don't scream. He gave Trump a platform to show off his fucking physical and be like, look, my prostate is sound like I'm so happy you said the words prostate because that reminds me of a story I have bad Doctor oz So. I once went to the Doctors Show and it was an all male audience. And then this was in college. I went with Billy Domino.

We went and it was an all male audience. And the warm up, the stand the guy who like warms up the crowd clearly has only ever had crowds of all women because it's Dr oz So. He came out and like he busted through. Hey queen, uh yep, so I'm telling my doctor story. You're tested time we're talking about Dr So. The stand up that like warms up the crowd for Dr oz like busted through the door.

He just goes, where's my men? And everyone was like and he was like and he literally immediately caught himself and he's like, sorry, I'm just excited. He was like, I'm sorry, I'm just excited that there's men here. And we were just like like his job is to like make us comfortable, and we were just like we're we're not for you, and you're not for us. Did he say the words, sorry, I'm just excited that there's men. He said some variation of that. Yes, um, but anyway,

that was helpful. They passed out little pretend ball sacks and we felt it up for testically or cancer testically. Yeah what, um what are the signs? Uh? Rock hard? Little pebble in your ball sack? God? Um no, but how's life been? This is truly I do for me? Yes, like great, I'm very happy. Good good? Are you happy?

I'm I'm I'm I'm good. This this trip has just ended up being I thought I wanted a little mini vacation, a pseudo vacation for myself, and it just ended up being the boundaries are are down and it's work is work is life and I'm living for the way you're holding the mic like this, So yeah, it's it's just, um, it's hard, this is this is How did that happen? What's happening? I just I gave I gave her a little a little h J and then I worked up my way up the shaft and I landed at the rim.

Do you know what? We watched a video in the room I'm in the other day and it was a it was a woman who um she was like being a dj at, like a bar mitzvah, and she the mic was like this, and the mike lodged all the way down her throat somehow. And so now every time I go to a show and they say the mics are not that hot, so go like this, I'm very hesitant. And by now I mean the one time I've been

at a show since then, which is right now. Anyway, the moral of a story is be careful of Mike's over and under on one of us swallowing a mic tonight. I think one of us, well, one of us will swallow him. I think our guests may swallow Was that an intro to? Is that like a I want to say one more thing before we bring out our fucking stunning guests. Um bow and Yang has some ink? Oh yeah, did you see his tattoo? I got a tattoo, thanks, um marked your body, marked my body. Um we'll see.

I'm seeing my parents in two days and we'll see what they think. Will they be will be? But it doesn't matter. Um, I this is this is like but this is like a pocketive of like Chinese School's Sharon in the audience, Sharon, Sharon and I went to Chinese school together in Denver, And um this this, this brings back memories. But this is but I think, like I'm gonna lead with this is what I'm gonna tell my parents,

because you're gonna get this. I'm gonna be like, this is actually a tribute to Lawyah, to Grandpa, and because he loves calligraphy, because this is a calligraphy grid. And I was like, and I think that's that's gonna be my spin for it. Sharon, what no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, Sharon, Sharon an accusation her, you are the new Amanda. Okay, Queen Sharon, you and I weren't in the same classes. Tell me all about how bow and Yang cheated his way to this very stage in Chinese school.

In Chinese school, yeah, yes, oh that. There's so much dirt on your bow. And he was actually amazing student. I was the cheater. No, you never cheated. You were very good. I think we all cheated throughout Chinese school. I think it's just unrealistic to expect. It's basically every Sunday we were forced to suffer through this classroom full of Chinese kids who didn't really speak Chinese to each other.

We spoke English. Yeah, but it was Chinese school was actually a um, a battleground for the parents to work out their political bullshit. It was actually but China School, give me one good memory. Do you remember this kid sharing this kid one time? This was that this was at peak Yugio culture and this couldn't have been older than nine years old. This little boy in a bowl cut was walking around the halls of Chinese school holding up a holographic blue eyes white dragon wood, a card

that is in every starter deck. And he's holding this up and walking around the halls showing it to people, just not saying a word, just being like smugly, being like, look what I have. And the parents, the teachers, the students, we were all like, we don't give a ship and that is social media. So we got that kid. I just have to interview one more person, and it's this queen sucking on a lollipop. This young woman is sucking on a lollipop and you wanted me to see, so

I am gonna ask you about it. Hi, how are you great? How's the law? It's pretty good? What flav I think? It's chocolate ill that sucks? And that concludes the like I thought the most disgusting thing you could say was grape and you said chocolate. Anyway, I should is it time. I think it's time. I think we I think we bring out our very special gas. We truly have a very special guest. Um he is. He's someone who truly was like out there, like putting shit out for a while. Um uh, and he still does.

He's still so good. He has an album out called Late Bloomer. He's wonderful. He's he's done amazing something. He actually someone said this to me, they didn't start this this kid that this guy that I was talking to was like, I didn't start drinking the Kroise until his song Lacroix Boy. And this guy is permeating the culture constantly. Um and he's an amazing musician, amazing producer. He produces a podcast on this network called Race Chaser hosted by

Willem in Alaska. And um god, he's so talented, such a funny, great talented musician. We're so excited to have him. So please welcome here and in your ears, big Dipper. Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, we wanted. We wanted to come out to Icona, Pops, I love it, and then got we got scared and came out to Lizzo instead. But I came out to Hi. Hi. Oh we're kicking your feet up. We're we're we're doing ottomans if you if you like that you have Why

is this night different than all other nights? Um? So listen, we did break the news to the audience that you had went through a breakup. Are you feel uncomfortable to try? I heard you say that, yeah, mirror hours ago. How are you doing? I'm good? I Uh. One of the one of the issues was I was told I'm an avoidant personality, so here I am doing a show instead of dealing with it. You know what you've done. Dealt

with that, dealt with that? Yeah, I feel like that. Okay, So can can we can we tell the audience that you went into this sure with a script? I did. Yes. It was really intense because it was a brand new experience for me. I had never really been in that experience before. Uh, in that situation, and I knew that I wanted to say exactly what I wanted to say, So I wrote it on my phone like an asshole

and then read it. That's cool. Did you ever look up to but listen, you would have the same reaction right well to what you've like read a script before that like has emotional beats in it for sure, and I'm a good writer. So I wrote like something that was did you feel like I mean, that's the problem. I was trying not to. I was trying to just yeah, I was just trying to be and I felt like there were elements of it that were performative. Oh so

did the audience respond? Uh? Not? Well, it was very intense. I'm also trying to take a note because I listened to the podcast and on a recent episode there was a conversation about talking about experiences in your life but not speaking for the other person. Did you guys hear that on their podcast? Do you remember this conversation? No one here has ever listened. No one listens to Lucia. These are all my cousins. M yeah, um no, just the idea that, like, I can talk about what I

went through. But you know, it appeared like it wasn't received very well. No, No, well, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry too. It's sort of like a sad, weird, shitty situation. One aspect of this that we don't have to speak for him, sure, but one aspect of him that were them woman, No, my fucking asshole fell out. I was so scared. Also in the earlier when you were like, it's the thing for me about being gay, it's not the dick. I was like, it's the dick. It's the dick.

It's the It's not the dick for me, it's the dick for me. They all look the same. You've seen one, you've seen them all. I think I think it we need to hang out because that is not true. Is that because your dick is like a fork or something? Yes,

spork sport. Oh, it's got concavity. So um. One aspect of this is that you were like in in the period of you guys dating, we were traveling, yes, and but things were being hashed out as you were traveling, which I feel like in the nascent stages of a relationship, when one person goes somewhere far away, it's kind of like hitting pause. It's like, well, we're not going to see each other, so let's just effectively pretend that this is on a on a little bit of a break, right.

But he was whatever, we don't have to get in. Really it was. It was very intense. It was start to finish six weeks, that's it was. Yeah, it was just and I was in another hemisphere for twelve days of those six it was very without him or with him without Okay, so, but I think one of the worst things you can do is like take a vacation to save the relationship. Like we had a friend that did that and then they ended up breaking up in literal Paris. That's like and then fly back sitting next

another believe really that's what they did. Yes, yeah, I didn't, but I didn't change their No, but I didn't think about the flying back. You gotta think about that. You gotta think about logistics always, but also in the time not gonna well, I guess I am. And like the last few months of our relationship, we took a euro trip and I thought, wow, this is what relationship are you referring to you listen to the show No, but I just remember, like we took a European vacation and

I was like, is this helping? And then you think it is because it's like you're you put yourself in like a romantic setting and like you're seeing new things together and having a new experience and that kind of like prolongs dealing with what's real. It's like in that episode of Madmen when um when uh, Don Draper and January Jones go to um, yes, down they go to Italy and she's got like a perfect haircut, and then they're like they love each other. And then they get

back and it's like back to the fifties. Babe falls away, the haircut, the haircut falls away. It was all a piece. Yeah. Wait, and what was the outcome of your postmortem? Uh? Just that did you get critical feedback to change things in the future a little bit? Yeah? That's like an intense thing, right, And I when someone's like, I don't know you very well, but let me tell you all about yourself. Well, he he was framing it in terms of like and he's going to listen. He was framing it in terms of

like shout out hey. Um, we've had conversations where he's felt uncomfortable about any mere mention of him when I've talked. Well, that's because Bin used his first name on an episode once, but this we're not using his first name on this episode. So he it's Kevin. Yeah, I was gonna guess he would ne were dating Kevin who knows um? And he was okay, he was like, you know, I was I was really attracted to you until you did this, and then I was like, I'm well, sorry I did that.

Then what did you do? I well, because I was, I was in this place there was this big disparity between and this is this is all just insecurity, I was like, I what am I doing with a guy like this? I was like, oh, he's way out of my league. And then out of that insecurity, I was one one night just pillow talk. I was like I was testing the waters and I was basically being like, so I've and whatever. In many words, I was like, I'm I'm sort of seeing other people, but I don't know,

like maybe like maybe I don't have to whatever. It was more graceful than that. But um, apparently me talking about seeing other people while we were dating on exclusively was like the thing that like I just killed it. He wanted it to be. I'm sorry, they wanted it to be. He spoke, it's actually rutal culture. Number nine, bowen Yang is straight. We didn't together. Bowen Yang is straight. Remember when I said I had a note for you, what's your note? This is my note as a listener.

I know that you have there's a person out there who keeps track of all the rules, Kelly, Kelly, Joe, I would just like, I want to encourage you to just put a one in front of front of your numbers, because we're probably up in the one at this point. I hear you, and no, I'm like listening, and I'm like, I hate the fact that there's like a nine ABC. So Kelly keeps very good Matt's go to number for rules. So it's fourteen, either of those, and then those are

the only two numbers I know. I don't even know too, I don't know how I just did that. Uh. And and she'll she'll, she'll do like a like a point seventeen point at one sevent I mean I figured, Um, but um wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, the thing for him was that? Uh? That was that was the thing that I killed it for him. Wait, we were saying something. You were straight? I was straight straight anyway. Anyway. Um,

so here's the thing. I'm sorry you went through a breakup, y, but but we're not here to talk about him them. She right, We're here to talk about you. Yeah, So, which apparently was why the breakup up? Too much talk about. So let's just continue that. Um, we ask everyone a question here on Loss Cultures Us, and that question is what was the culture that made you say culture was for you? This is the formative pop culture in your life that turned you into this beautiful, gorgeous hunk of

man we see before us. So go on and tell us that. Um I thought about this a lot because I know that you asked this question. And something that really stuck out in my mind what was the v M A S. Which was that Chris Rock hosted Brittany performed with in Sync and introduced them by saying, I'd like to introduce you to some friends of mine, right, Oh my god, and it was like, oh, it was okay. And then TLC performed in the all red nose Scrubs moment where they gave them eight feet of stage, like

do you remember this? There was like a scream down and you were like, they don't get the whole stage? What the fun was that? That? Your Fiona Apple one or no, No, I'm just kidding. That was rude. I didn't mean to say that she gave my sister an eating disorder. I don't know, Fiona didn't she give every Dayder of the nine is absolutely Do you remember the video for what was it called smooth Criminal No more

like smooth Oh yeah, thank you? Okay, So Horrible has had so many good live performances and like just like there was a lot of like crossover that I didn't realize was probably like back end record companies being like, oh if these people work like this will make more money, you know, like and it was just this sort of like convergence of like art and capitalism and like pop culture and didn't they do it like the met or the Center or something. And that was when Diana Ross like, uh, jiggle, yeah,

that was iconic. Yes, that whole show, and I feel like it was really iconic. And after that show was so cool. I then and I grew up not having cable. I then made it my busin this to always like my friend taped it for me, so I watched that on VHS. So I then made up my business to always go watch the v m a's And and they sort of never really, I mean there were moments, but like in my mind, they never lived up to that.

And I really really am like into pop music. I'm really into like like I love thinking about even when it's like a trash strategy. I love thinking about like, oh, they put those words in that song that helps sell this car because Ford kind of owns this record, you know, like that kind of stuff. I'm like, who's doing that? You know, like I always think, and I like figuring that out your love for pop music, and I guess I don't think I noticed that until much later, because

I'm extraordinarily dumb. But um um, do you remember this. I was really into X Factor when it came on, and so I was telling Study like, you have to watch X Factor with me. You will love X Factor and like she would hate X Factor. But we sat down to watch it and there was this scene. I remember the moment I became aware of capitalism because she was like, look how many pepsi cans are in every

single shot? And I was like, oh my god. And that's just like the moment I saw the pepsi cans and then I couldn't unsee them, Like now everywhere all I see is pepsi can. I literally was having this conversation the other day because I just watched an episode of High Maintenance where he like wakes up in a Casper mattress store and you're like, oh, that seems fun, and then you're like, wait, like it says she's wearing a hat. They're like in a store, and I was like, Oh,

they got paid by Casper Mattress. And I was like, is that a job I can do where someone goes you need to we like like fiddle a way to put these products into a script. And I'm sure that job. Is that your job? Oh? Okay, we'll email me because I'll be good at that job. Because rap music about anal sex does not pay well. It's frightening when you think about like how much we're being like sold at all times. Like you know the movie Josie and the Pussycats.

I think that ship is so ahead of its time and genius and I think Parker Posey should have won an Oscar for it, if only for the scene where she comes down the stairs at the parties and they play a musical theater version of why did you do what? You dude? To me? Baby? And she's like, truev any crazy? You know if I could I do anything for you? Yeah? That we're beautiful? Um, such a genius. What have you seen that movie? Never? Stupid bitch? Oh, I was just

smiling and not with you. You haven't seen is Rosario Dawson and yes, Rachel Cook in it, Yes, Rachel aware of it. I don't do, don't do Rachel Lee Cook. And who's the third? And who's the third? You know? Uh? Terror read stop terror reads someone who is dead? Who's gonna guess? Brittany Murphy. She would have been great, She would have been great. No, she was. She was busy at the time with riding in cars with boys, so she um no, no, no, terror read. She was dating

Carson Daley at the time. Sorry, I'm thinking of Tara Lepinsky every time you say Terry. Honestly, they look alike, do the Tara Lepinsky and Terry Ready twins? Um? Wait? Oh yeah, she was dating Carsondilli at the time. And there's the scene where like Carsonally tries to kill them. Yeah, oh, it's so good. Carson Daley is in the film, Carson Daily plays Carson Daily and he tries to kill them. Well, it's actually funny because like it's funny because the record

exacts are like, oh, those two know too much. We have to get rid of them. So we're gonna send the two of the Rosario, Dawson and Terry to t R L and they're gonna go, and then they get to the student it's all cardboard cutouts of all these celebrities. It's really funny. It's so stupid. And then Carson Daily comes out with Airy Spears from that TV fame and they then the two of them have to kill them. And then it was actually a vehicle for Arie Spears

to do his Mike Tyson impression. It was that so that that's what it was like. I'm very inspired by capitalism. The whole film was like agents being like and then Yes, so that movie is about like they become this like pop star supergroup like overnight, and in their music, deeply embedded in the tracks is like you want to buy Starbucks, you want to buy movie Phone? Then I should watch this film. Yeah, you would love it. That's why I bring it up. I didn't just bring it up. I

didn't just bring it up to sing that song. Yeah, I wouldn't put no probably, and they have it. They have it has an amazing performance by Missy Pyle and she's incredible. Is really Alan Cumming? Jesus? Yeah, it's good.

I can't believe you haven't seen it. Okay, So what I would say two thousand as sort of lived up to ninety nine where you had the Canadian, you had Justin and Brittany in that was the year right with I think in two thousand and it was like Eminem did the big like the number where he had all the people the music video where everyone was dressed like him. What was that song called just like meet the Real slim shading. I'm so mad that we're talking about. Okay,

and then Brittany did pops, I did it again. I got no satisfaction. Yeah, that was good. He didn't He probably did say poops, I did it again. He loves poop. He loves to talk about it. Yeah, that one probably lived up to it. Yeah, but you have to adjacent years of like awesome, awesome, and they have also been very bad ones. Was I with you when we know? I think it was Gretta when we watched them, the Britney Spears, Christina Agilira Madonna thing. Yeah, that actually was

a good performance. Like I know the kiss like gets most of the fanfare, but like the choreography was good, like Britney sounded okay. I'm gonna say such like a nowadays statement, which is I saw a tweet and I literally can't remember who tweeted it, but it was about that, and it was like something about um the editor who decided, yeah, was that your tweet? Did you see this? But I remember it someone saw this on gay Twitter, right, But it was the idea of like, oh, whoever decided to

cut to Justin? Timberlake's reaction made Bionic not a number one because that was the beginning of the end for Christine. Had we seen the kiss with Madonna her album? Yeah, I was like, that's an insane thought and true. True. I have a friend, We have a friend Colin who will text me regularly this this exact sentence, just just on like every a few months or so. He goes. Remember when Beyonce said in interviews that she was disgusted

by kissing Brittany and Christina. Just to remind me that that Beyonce was at one time like human tacitly homophobe. She's homophobic, kills animals to make clothes. I don't know. I think it's funny and it's like a great performer, world's best, world's best, Well that's thrially And now that we're talking about performance, I feel this is a good opportunity for us to see a performance. Queen of the Bitch. Um tell us a little bit about this tune we're

gonna hear, or would you rather not just do it? No, I'll tell you. This tune is about erasure of um skinny people people. Okay, a celebration of chubbs. Great. That great? Can we play the first song? Yeah? Can you turn it? Okay? So this song goes out to all the chunktas in the house, whether you're like a chunketa or a chunk eta. Okay. So it's about eating ass as well. That's what I should have got it. You know who I am, Chunky

fun a skinny man. Let me feat you. You know who I am, chunky chuck kee da who you're shaking in your boots jaw capin, don't know what to do? Bitch? Yes I'm fine, and yes I know it, and yes I grabed your tick where you think you're going? I see you falling in us after all of me shaping my gut feet wide thirteen, my weight a plus plus size of must try something you bust with my robust, thrusting eight fifty thicker thick thickets. I'm big. You can't

miss me. Every inch beautiful my flute fully to the bull plug like a pastry. Oh boy, tasty, really want to date me? Let's do it? Asked to face see falling line, lots of attraction, boy, buy if you ain't about that booty action you know chunky, du fucking skinny man, let me feature you know who I all chunkey da

excuse me, dude. I don't mean to be rude, but sell you just my type So I'm gonna need you to move you it and then the wrong spot boy that you forgot that bump alongs on my face dinner time? Say great? Oh you know I'm nasty inquisitive. Ask you where that ass bead? I'm a chunky. Don't you thinking the but you know what? I want to meet you? Then eat your skeet when I beat your meat, don't cheat the fleet? What's your flavor? Sweet? Are you triggered?

Tweet about it? So faking? Did you ever doubt it? Sugar around my tits, chrise my sweat. I'm what you dream about and we haven't yet met. Are you listening to the song that I sung? I need one thing? You're hold on my time? Okay, wow, thank you? Okay, we can cut them. Wow. Wow, So you love eating asks? Talk about that? Um, talk about that. It's fun. Do you not like eating us? You're like getting your ass eaten? Yeah, and you're all about the butt. So I'm sorry you

guys like a crazy smile the booty hole. I love eating us. Okay, So is that something did you like? We have you always loved? This was a journey for you? Sure it was a journey. I think like as a young person when you realize what gay sex between two men is, there's like a little part of you that you're like, I couldn't I couldn't believe it. And then I realized what what I had to do. I was like, I was like, well that's crazy. And then someone is like,

well do you know about douching? And you're like why, which now you're not supposed to do well, you're not supposed to do it too much, but just you can't do a fleet at before every No. We have a friend who is currently getting rerailed on the regular and hat me, I don't know who you're talking about anyway, he is like but chugging enemas, Like he's just like constantly using enemas. And I said blank. You can't keep doing that. You're gonna hurt yourself, Like, call me by

my name. What is it? Um? Yeah, I've heard mixed reviews on that. I've heard people say like, oh, you shouldn't do that at them all, and then I've heard other people be like, it's just water, it's fine. Everything in moderation, everything in moderation. But I do, I do have a friend who likes to get fisted, and um, he is. He is someone that I have known for a while since I was young, like always of age, but like in my early twenties, and I had a

crush on him for a while. And then now he's moved out here and he messaged me recently, was like hey. I was like hey, and he was like do you like fisting? And I was like like out of the blue, and now I know two, No, I'm out. I can't. That's too much for me. And we're not shaming king, No, but that's stay that's bad. So what's insane is that there is literally nothing romantic about it. I've I've never kissed him, Like, I will walk, I don't take off

my club, I'll just roll up my sleep. It's truly, I'm out. I'm yeah, you guys, go ahead and be like sisters about this. The fuck Amanda, No not us, bitch, Sharon, I don't know. You're a freak. Sharon, will fucking go there and lollipop bitch is up to her elbow. She's a crazy she's it's through the culture number in ninety

one your elbow. I just also really interested in like this like delicate double tap becoming like like a visual sign for someone like hey, no on and off night, you know, no, no, but yeah, he just he's just like, your arms are so big, they are big. He likes that. I was. I was literally doing I don't know if

people saw I was doing this earlier. I was like doing like to who like no to just someone told me that this so they're releasing an emoji that's the hand, but it's doing this like a like an Italian like that's what they're calling like a chef's kiss or something. And then but someone someone tweeted that this is actually proper technique for fisting. Is that you cone and then you bawl. Not the way you're doing How do you

do it? Well? It has to be more straightforward, guy, because no, no, no show us your hands, Matt, You've got big hands. So what my hands are for? Like my hands are for like reading and writing? Like someone who does not read, I do so read. I have read upwards of eleven books. Let's let's the books now. We needn't updated less the seven, Harry Potter's Robolos autobiography, my favorite book, Bossy Pants, Lena Donald's book in Cold Blood? Did I already say that in Cold Blood seven Harry Potters,

you listen, of course parts of the Bible. Yeah, um, okay, cool, So we're going to float away from that conversation. Wait, okay, do you want to talk about this? So, I mean, clearly, how did we I brought that up just fully on my own, Well, I asked about eating assid all of a sudden we were literally shoulder deep in butt hole. So, um,

that right, that's what that's called. I do want to talk about this clearly, A season performer live, Um, you're you're like you're like a staple on the pride circuit. So you're going town to town for all of their respective prides. We I mean, like whatever, we just started to like quote unquote tour and it's it truly is exhausting and like I don't know how and like we but we do them in little legs and like they're

they're like weeks apart. So it feels manageable. But for something for like I imagine you have to like chunk out months of your life in order to do this. Well, no, it's it's more of just like like people are like, oh, are you at on tour? And I'm like, my life is a perma tour because I don't like I don't have a record label, I don't have an agent, I don't have management, I don't have a book, like, I do it all myself. And so often what happens is

someone's like, oh, can you come to New Orleans? And I'm like, great, who do I know in Atlanta? You know? And I start to like build a thing. So it's this like constant rollodex where I'm like, you know, like hey, Dave, like you have a club in you know, Charlotte, North Carolina. Like so I have this like I'm constantly sort of

just juggling it around. And so to me, what the most exhausting part is every time I'm in a new city, I'm like, hey, yeah, I remember you from a year ago, let's go out to you know, and I like all these people. But there's a difference between just like doing your calendar and being like, oh, these are my travel details and this is what I do. So the more exhausting part is like the logistics of it, but performing is like it's so sick. The the the the amount

of places and scenarios that I've performed in. It's like, truly, I flew to Stockholm for thirty six hours and they like flew me out and paid me and got me a visa and did everything. I performed on a bench in a basement with a cell phone light on me for twenty people. I love that. And I was like, this is the gig and he was like yeah, we're so excited to have you. Like, thank you. Did you get to see the city Stockholm? Okay, so this is like such a shameful Yeah we did. We did more

shameful than what we've done. You don't need a shame. Maybe we're not here that I'm kid. I'll show you a while the amount of power you feel when you're that far inside of a human body. You feel, yes, yeah, but that doesn't help him. No, I'm just encouraging you to do it if you find a willing participant. Um, I'm just saying I have something, just something to look scares of course to think about that. That's fine because it's we don't need to talk about you, right, we don't.

I'm just sorry about what holes getting like ruined beyond repair? Do they snap back to what they were after? That's up to the owner of the butthole? How is it up to them exercise maintenance? So Stockholm gorgeous city. Did you go to the Museum of Pop Music? Um? No, but I saw it. That's such a dumb thing to say. What the shameful thing was that it was clear? So this is this is also a thing that happens a lot of my music and my videos and like my

Instagram content is like really sexual. And so there are sometimes and why I mean, like I've performed in every scenario. Sometimes I'm booked by a person who sees that and goes, I want to bring you here. And I own a club, so I have a budget in which I can say, oh, I have a stage and I can bring you here, and blah blah blah. So it gets sometimes it gets complicated, especially because when they reach out, they're not going through a management company that it's like me on the phone.

So the guy in Stockholm, I think, and then was uh later confirmed by a friend of his he had a crush on me, and so he was just like debilitating lee nervous the whole time, and then took me around on like a ten hour tourism day and never did he ever get more comfortable or wasn't like no, and he was so uncomfortable. It made me so uncomfortable that like at a certain point I just stopped talking.

And so there was like a six hour period where we like took a ferry across a bay to another town, eight lunch, walked around, took the ferry back, truly didn't talk the whole time, and I was like, I'm alone in Stockholm. My cell phone doesn't work like like now, I like turned my phone on and like find friend and I go like I'm good, like I'll just handle myself. But I agree. He was like let me take you around.

I was like sure, and I tried for a while, but he just got he was like so nervous, and I was like, well, I guess I won't say anything. What are you like in those situations like when someone is being when when someone's go to is like to be quiet and nervous. Do you do more? I do the most? You? Um, yeah, I tend to do the most. But I'm like, I'm I'm dripping sweat already, so like I'll give you like five minutes of the most and then I'm like, you gotta exactly. So that's why I like,

I gave up. But it feels shameful. Why why is that shameful though? To be like he brought me to Europe and I was just quiet? Are you ashamed in that scenario or no? But it's like an like, oh, what if I had an awesome time in Stockholm? There's a lot to do there, like the Museum of I saw it. Yeah it's mostly which is like okay, but it but there, you know, it's like four songs like they're obsessed with Abba. The whole nation is obsessed with Abba and the fighting words. There are people in the

audience who are mad. Two movies made, one in which it wasn't entirely a retreat of the first movie. They used the same songs retreat, What what the fund is your name? That's My boss? That's my future boss. What did you say, I didn't hear. Wait, did we mean outside? Yeah, she said Demie Levado And that's that's our joking game show. We say that the gay Aloha Lovado the way to say hello and goodbye. That's incredible. Um well I disagree, um, but but I did like Mamma Mia too, I have.

So we saw Mama MEA two and okay, so he didn't know that Meryl spoiler alert, Meryl's dead and not in the movie. So we sat down and we were so high she's in the movie, and she's in the movie at the end, but it becomes very clear, like fully so like it becomes clear like five minutes in that she's fully dead and will not begin the like like talking about the specter of Meryl being gone. And then I turned to Matt and I go, wait, Meryl is not in this movie. I was like, no, she's dead.

And then he's like, so, then what the funk are we here for? And then I was like share in like an hour and a half, and so we sat there and like sat to the whole movie, But who's the queen that's like, yeah, I like her? Share sort of like a teen angel moment in Mama mea Too. No, it's not like it doesn't happen in a dreams. It happens in really happens in on the same level of reality. But it's truly I mean, the Share thing is all

once Share shows up, it's all worse. She nails it, she nails, and Christine Baranski is fail fully nailing it the whole time. She's she's like acting with her whole body and every scene she's in the background, and God and the casting of young Christine Baranski best casting every Yeah, so good about a film in Christine Baranski's um, what is it? What is it? Marcy X, do you know this? Oh my god a Lisa Coudrow, Lisa Coudro and Damon Wayne's yeah, yeah, she she runs like a rap label.

Well no, she's like a conservative senator. Christine Baranski is railing against the rap label. I got a bootleg copy of that film in New York when I was like, I don't know, seventeen, on my first trip to New York. That is also an answer to your question for you, where where did you grow up with chic Well in Evanston. Technically people who grew up in Chicago would hate if I said yea and from the Illinois called Evanston, Illinois. Yeah, when you hear Evanston, Illinois, what do you think being

girls know? What where else is Evanston ever mentioned? Bowen and I are Story Pirates, a children's theater company, and we take stories written by kids and act them out. And what the most famous story is called the Day my Head got stuck in a bar stool um and the kid that wrote it was from Evanston, Illinois. At Northwestern is a thing called Griffinston that started that. See, I have this weird relationship with Northwestern because I applied

did not get in. I think it was because of this question on the essay that was like who do you want your who would you your famous? Like if you had famous parents, who would they be because you would want their characteristics? And I said Beyonce. And I think it was too soon for that to be an appropriate answer, because exactly it was like early two thousand's and I was like Beyonce and they were like your trash. Now if you want to Beyonce, they were like your humanitarian.

So I didn't go there, but I actually taught at a theater program there for like six years called the National High School UM Theater Institute. You're an educator, I was, yeah for a while, and then I got fired when I started rapping. I guess they heard your lyrics about fisting to the shoulders. Yeah, exactly, and they said, this gentleman can't be forming young minds. They were like, your high risk for two new parental calls. Fuck. Yeah, So I got fired from all my teaching jobs. Yeah, that's

you know. They say that like like a lot of like like people in the entertainment industry, if they don't if they don't succeed, like they go be teachers. I feel like I couldn't be a teacher now, I'm a high risk for pres I just feel like you would make up new names for everyone in the class. Would be like, yeah, I like girl, so quean, I'd be I'd be a bad teacher. No, I think you'd be a wonderful teacher. You would be so like encouraging. I

would be I'd get petty. I'd like, I'd get fucking petty and aggressive yeah yeah, with the kids, or just be like, God, you guys are dumb, Like yeah, I would just like not put up with any of Like, if they're not at my level, then I don't want to talk to about You're not tolerant to people that aren't on your levels. It's true. But when Yang famously says about dating, if I'm spending time with you, that's a big fucking it is. It is though. I I

am fully behind him saying that whatever. I think every I think everyone should be that confident when they're dating someone truly like And this is the lesson that I learned to this guy like go Off. I had to I had to just be like, oh no, like, we're all on each other's level here. It's fine. Like everyone's like in the same everyone has the same ship, and everyone should just like every everything it's already been flattened anyway.

Desire has been flattened. Attraction has been flattened. Can you explain that? Okay, Unpack, you'd be a terrible teacher. None of the students can can understand what you're saying. I want to know about. Desire has been flat. Desire has been flattened. Like we'll be a best in two minutes. Everyone everyone has this is here's what's going on right now in the world. Okay, everyone has Amanda Lolli, alexis um queen, so we um here's we're walking around. All of us are for you. I got it, I got

I got it. We're all walking around And this is irrespective of whether or not you have a fallast. We're all walking around with giant boners all the time. Why because we open up our phones and we see people we want to fuck on it, and and desires flattened. And so now it's like now when I have Now, when I have sex with people, I'm like, the this is truly a wash. This is like I could be sitting at home and this I would get this, I would derive at the same pleasure. Why because desire has

been flattened. So you're saying you're saying that we sexually as a culture have been dumbed down by social media and mainstream media. Truly, it's not even a gender thing in where it's like, oh, men think about sex every second seven seconds. It's everyone thinks about sex, and it's just like it's just what it is, and like I

don't know, like whatever, whatever sad really the world. We just need to throw our phones away and I'll walk around with UGO cards with the ugo cards, and if I were to be fisted to the shoulder like I wouldn't care. I'd be like, yeah, this feels normal. At least I'm feeling something, something desire has been flattened. Now there you Okay, So on that note, I think we go into another song. I think for another tune. So

tell us about this. This next song, this song I wrote years ago, is one of the first songs I wrote. But it holds up. Um. It's a celebratory song about just things that I like, or in general, things that anyone likes. It's a celebratory song about things that you like. Great, Yeah, I wonder if he's back there. Can you play Isaac? Can you turn it up? Yes? Okay. This song goes out to all the things that are cute. That's cute to me, that's cute to me, that's cute, that's cute,

that's cute to me. That's cute to me, that's cute to me, that's cute, that's cute. That's cute to me. When you hold my hands, that's cute to me. The hot dog stands so cute to me. Look me in the eye, when you touch the stars, Dick ride all night. That's cute to me because you'rege the best when it comes to sex, love, the gentle touch, love to carress, fun funck me good. Yeah, it's playing the seat. The way you make me feel, it's so cute to me. It's shute, so cute. See you t eat me. That's

cute to me. That's cute to me. That's cute to me. That's cute. That's cute. That's cute to me. That's cute to me. That's cute to me. That's cute. That's cute. That's cute to me. When you're buying me things, that's cute to me. Side the onion ring so cute to me. It's fine. The face supposed me in the place that makes me want to date yourself cute to me. Our chemistry zone bete debu dis cute syndromes untreatable because I'm obsessed with your packs and chests. You wanna titty funk

that's cute to Me's goute so cute. See you t me. That's cute to me. That's cute to me. That's cute to me. That's cute. That's cute. That's cute to me. That's cute to me. That's cute to me. That's cute. That's cute. That's cute to me. Oh my god, this is like the cutest intimate audience of a live podcast recording ever. Thank you all right? That was cute to me. I think I was checking to see if you were done with a lollipop or if you were like fully

savoring it. We're done? Was it like a fudge cycle? That was a chocolate lollipops? Disgusting? I just I just don't understand. Want to Chalcoli. So here's the deal. Um, it is time to do our segment cold. I don't think so, honey. So this is our one minute segment that we take to rail against culture. We are for. This is for the people listening. Currently on tour, we will be in Texas, Austin, Dallas, and Houston, birthplace of Beyonce Knows, problematic cultural figure and a right performer. Um

in April. So, um, I what do you I think? Should I go first? Yeah? Whatever you want, I'll go first because I'm fired off about something. Oh he is the decision that we're going to stand galvanized Queen is Matt Rodgers. I don't think so. Many as time starts now, I don't think so, honey that when I rolled up to the gig tonight, Bowen Yang was smoking a cigarette outside because he told me as recently as yesterday that he was done with cigarettes, that he had slipped back

into them, but now was done. And I pull up in a fucking lift and the lift was not chatty. So I was in a good mood. Immediately, my mood was deflated because I see my best friend fucking killing himself. I don't think so, honey. Here's the thing about cigarettes. They're full of carcinogens. Honey, they're not good for you. Do you smoke cigarettes, sir? That's good. You're gonna live longer than this stupid bitch bow and Yang. And what happens when bo and Yang dies? My career fucking destroyed.

Nobody's gonna fucking funk with this. After he goes outside of professional aspirations. I'd like him to stay in my life. Personally, I enjoy him very much. He's the love of my life. I need him around, and so when he smokes cigarettes and fills his lungs with bad black smoke, I am very personally offended. And then when I come to him. He tried to be cute with me and make a joke and I was like, no, I don't like it.

And I'm telling you right now that I don't like it, and I don't think so, honey, and you deserve to be publicly humiliated. You shouldn't smoke cigarettes. And if and he smokes cigarettes, fucking that's one man. At it's not just you you're hurting. It's not just you you're hurting. I'm serious. This is not a comedy show. This is for real. I think no, I think this is good. This is a charting point. You should fucking stop. And then I said put that out right now and he

said no, let me have it. And I was like, that's so fucking dumb. Yeah, I don't smoke cigrette. How long have you? For years? He's gonna lie? No, I was, I was gonna be very honest about it. Um for a couple of years. I started this job at this office, and it was culturally it was the thing to do, and you just would go out and have a smoke break. And I was like, I'll do it. And then you were an adult when you started. I's been doing so good too. And now he's got a stressful new job.

I used to smoke a lot and then I when I quit, it was a wild It was a wild. Yeah. I used to smoke like a pack of day, like crazy. Wow. Is anyone here's struggling with cigarette addiction? Anyone? We've all we've all gotten them. But who vapes really high smoke? So there's this that's neither here nor there. There's this book that there's this book like to how to quit like it's called how to Quit Smoking or something where apparently it's some amazing it's this amazing, but that everyone's

reading right now. For smokers are reading right now, and you can only quit on your first read through of the book. Otherwise than it won't work anymore, because if you fall off the wagon and start smoking again, then it will not work. Okay, so you're reading the book right now? Yeah, No, I gotta wait for the right time. Now is the right time? This is? Um? Can I just say when I quit smoking, I used I used to smoke in my car all the time. I used to fake smoke in my car. What does that mean?

I would just hold up two fingers and inhale and hould out the window and drive around. It lives my fucking life like a lunatic. Yeah, and it was so helpful yetation it's like people do toothpicks because it's the open station and they just want to simulate that doing this doesn't look as dumb as actually smoking cigarettes, right of course, So that's like ad campaign and what is

fake smoking? Yeah? Yeah, I'm really serious about it anyway, So go perform now, Um, this is I don't think so honey at his time starts now, I don't think so honey. Hotel many fridges to hear me out. You're a goddamn teasy hearing me. There's a game show I play every time I go to a hotel. It's is this water bottle free? Um? And it's really hit or miss. I feel like I should veer off into something personal about Matt right now because he distragged me. No, I

haven't done anything to deserve it. Yes you have, Matt. You have not checked in with me like I have, Like like I feel like I really feel so distant from you, and I really tried to resist this for a long time. Matt just got this new job and I'm so happy for him. But there's the symmetry happening, where like like we we were out of sync in our lives and I got something and I felt like he was like ten seconds folks in the road, and

now I feel a little left behind. Are you talking about you have eight thousand times more money than they really want? I really just want You're done. I'm sorry it hurts your feelings that I just did that, but you can't. We haven't. We haven't checked in. We have checked in before the show, but so briefly, we're gonna spend the evening together. We're gonna go do karaoke with Olivia, who's gone by the way anyway, Well, you know what,

you know what, you know, what's happening? What is I'm watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy, and I watched the episode where Christina leaves. Why don't you do that to yours? Because because because I miss you too, I miss you. It's fine. This is so fucking gay. It's actually not it's actually not gay to be two gay men who are platonic. That's actually very anti queer. That's that's that's what that is. Okay, Okay, So mine could be you

ignoring me. Yeah, I'm just kidding, no, okay, which comes to shove dip, it's me and him if the zombie, If the zombies come in, it's us. We leave you behind. For sure, we die first. Absolutely anyway by Lima. It's an amazing post apocalypse tick a book about millennial culture. It's sorry that I thought that that I was that that was a bit and then so this is a I do and his time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Emotional manipulation. Um, this is a new experience for me.

But I feel like when you say something like I feel this way and a person looks at you and says, no, you don't that there's something fucked up about that. I don't think so. Uh, not listening and not hearing you when you talk the words out of your mouth that are the things that you actually mean. I also don't think so when you've taken the time to write them down and I'll proof read them so that you know what you mean, and the person is still going, yeah,

I'm not sure that you really think that way. Five seconds. I'm just really raw right now. Seconds I literally up. I don't think so, honey. Breakups And that's one minute. That's one minute, I agree with you. I don't think so, honey, breakups either, they are so hard. And can I say as a real thing, I'm so sorry. I've been thinking about mine a lot recently and it's like, what the fuck? Which one? That was gorgeous? So we have approximately seven minutes left and I would like to um open the floor?

Does anyone um does this? Before we do that? Can I just say I love your show and thank you for having me on. And I it's like, I you know people people always post that beame of like the girl eating next to a poster that's like me, when it's like fully that, So this is like a very meta dream come true for me to be. So I'm just love you. I love you guys, and I'm happy that you're going to be around more and we can actually hang out, right, Yeah, something to look forward to.

What no, no, no, no no? So um sorry you want to do this? And I just want to know if anyone wants to ask a question to bow and Younger a big tapper, but I am moderating this question. You could walk yeah, um, so what's your name? Jen? Hi? Jen? What's up? What does it feel like in there? Oh? Yeah? Oh God, I'll keep it. I'll keep it brief, warm, tight, or lose, depending and and it depends on the prep work that prep, but mostly it feels like an empty cavity.

There you go, satisfied, Jen, Yeah, feeling good. Hi? Who are you? I'm nick? No, you can't feel you have a great shirt. You're going in a colon? What's on the shirt? I'll paca also giraffes, various long necked ma. Wow, I wish I was a How you doing and what's up? I'm doing very well? Will you outline for us verbally the dynamic movements of the Matt Rogers walk. Yes, yes, yes, yes. For people who don't know, there's a Matt Rodgers Walk challenge.

So you just have to like envision yourself like like Beyonce and like now like more like Ali Larder and obsessed honestly, and you just kind of take a few steps that like don't go any where and make sure that you like you trip over your feet a little bit, and then you just kind of like beck in and then you kind of like spin and like notice your surroundings and like sort of play with them, and then like sort of just sort of stop and then go

like this again in another direction and you are going nowhere. It's important to have no directions. Then you do a little bit of that and have someone film you because you crave attention. Great, So that's that's that. Anyone else, anyone else? The floor is open. We're done. We're done. Wow Um. First of all, everyone give it up for Big Dipper one more time. Thank you. We love the dep We loved to death. This was really fun. We've

never we've never done like a live pod episode. We've done I don't think so, honey, but we've never done a live episode like this, and it was really fun, so so so great, So thank you for joining us. Thanks to the lyric hyperion Um stay hid to us after the show. Well, the end we do. We do end with the song. We do end with the song. Here we go? How do I get through not without you? If I had to live it? To laugh? Would that be ho? I'm need you in my off Ho if

you have fa babywe really my lave. We'll do one chorus to me. Now, how do I live? It's a bed clap out you. I want to know? How do I breathe without you? If you ever go? How do I ever, ever, how do I how do I how do make some fucking noise for bag? Bye? Thank you. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by

Brett Ballum, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking Outage on Facebook m