"This Meeting Is Being Recorded" (w/ Patti Harrison)

it being the title of the song. And all um, thank you for saying that. I feel good. I feel pretty good today, definitely good. One of the better days. You were outside the absolute morning hour. We don't we don't have to talk about it. We don't. I don't know why we bring my private life into this space. People's examine and take a scalpel and look at the layers underneath. No, no, no, listen to your voice. It was a rough night, wasn't it. As it was so like a base. I was the base. I'm a base.

I'm not my my. This is too much. You're confronting me and you have a low voice. You have the low voice of a partier. You have a low party boy voice. How do we feel? Should I feel bad for partying? I feel like Lindsay Lohan being being asked

to feel bad about partying. No. I think that you and Lindsay Lohan should both not even think about any of the like sort of people that get in your ear, because I feel like the second you sort of like just get this out of your system, you can just focus on acting and then we can get back to what is really good, okay, which is the talent, because people forget about the talent of Bowen and Lindsay Lohan and it's really about to let them party and dance

on a table. But you know, rumors is like such a bob. I know I was gonna say a prophecy like I'm I'm tired of rumors starting. Should we do a close right on it? Yeah, Saturday, stepping into the club, people taking pictures. Don't you think they get enough? Don't you think it's funny that you're pilling up the lyrics and I know these by heart? Can I say something?

I never really like this song never connected with me because at this point, at this point, Lindsay like I was being very put off by Lindsay lohanon and and this time in her career, I was obsessed. I was obsessed. Went to go see Freaky Friday in the theater, went to go see Confessions of a Team and Teendays Drop Queen in the theater, Like was so so so team Lindsay. And then and then somehow I got pulled into the Hillary Duff were a bit and I was just like,

you were teaming Hillary Duff. Of course, the Great Aaron Carter War of let's call it two thousand four four two three, So there was a great war in two thousand four. A lot of people remember, a lot of people think that the Iraq War was the sort of the big war of the time, but the really big war was the Great Aaron Carter War of two thousand four, And that was sort of you were either team Hillary Duff and you are a Hillary Duff sort of navy or you were a sort of Lindsay Lohan air force

air force. Yeah. And that actually connected to the video for Rumors where she was on sort of like a helicopter on the roof. Yeah, and she did that amazing Coreo Saturday, stepping into the cloud people taking pictures don't get enough. Well, that's the that's the that's the second verse. You're you're combining the first verse in the second or see, this is why I pulled. I didn't want to miss quote what's the quote unquote first verse? Saturday stepping into

the club. Somebody, somebody want to tell the DJ to turn it up. Somebody want to tell you to turn it up. I feel the energy all around and my let it can't stop moving to the sound because I can sound that you're watching me, and you're probably gonna write what you didn't see. Go ahead, and then, well I just need a little space degree can you please step my praty? Why why you just let me do the thing I want to do? I just me? Why would you want to bring down if I'm only having

I'm gonna live my life. But and here's the big chorus, and this is where she sort of declares, and oftentimes in a chorus of a pop song, and our guest knows a lot about this, and this sort of sounds like a song that this sounds like and we we've known all about our our our guests pop star story past, and in terms of her concerts, even sort of you know, storied conflict she's gotten into on in her concerts before, which we have to follow up about that, and we have.

But this is the chorus, right, so this is this is where she says, well, she's meaning, I'm tired of rumors starting. I'm sick of being followed. I'm tired of people lying, saying what they want about me. Why can't they back up off me? Why can't they let me live? I'm gonna do it my way. Take this for just what it is. Robert Frost could never. Robert Frost could never. Emily Dickinson found Hayley Steinfeld sound Dead please, Queen of Pop,

Queen of Flop, Queen Flop. And oh and this this Rumors has a lyric that Rumors shares a lyric with um just in my Pants, the Lonely Island classic, which is um, which is here we are back up in the club, in the club and then and just in my Pants. It's that was weird, but now we're back. Yeah, just my Pants was. You couldn't have told me that there was any other song other than just my Pants came out. It was just my funniest thing in the world. And it's like, right, okay, and I love take this

for just what it is. That that is like meta layer, like talking about how the meaning is implicit, what the declaration is implicit, like this is what it is. Take it for what it is, and you already know what it is. And so I guess what you're saying is that you feel the same way as Lindsay does in the song when I ask you about why your voice is so fucking low garbage, why you come to the to the record record of the podcast with this like Peebo Bryce in tone. Oh my god, yeah, it's not

not Piebo Peebo. Um, I just relate. I think we all relate to I'm saying we all relate to Lindsay in some way, don't we. All Right, So I guess what we're saying is like you're saying, take it for just what it is. My voice, my vocal quality on the episode today, and I want you won't elaborate on your partying ways. Okay, it was poppy, it was poppy, juice, it was amazing. It was really fun, that's see. And

now that's all we wanted. That's all we wanted, which we know now we know we're good we can move on with our life. Let's move on with our life. Okay, how are you, queen? Before we bring the guests? Fine, I had three coffees today, too many to probably too too many. I probably suld have just had one. Probably all I needed was one ice coffee. Sometimes you just get a taste of the stuff and can't stop. I know that's right, I know that's right. I know that's right.

Not me having three coffees today. Me a f having three coffees today. Not this, not this jan Oh my god. Let's bring in our guests, one of the one of the best guests, one of the best guests. People really cream for the guest. They're like, when is she coming back, especially after a narrative has been sort of concluded, reached full circle with this feud that she's really kept going

for five years now. I couldn't believe we watched it come to a head on television and just to say that it's true that the guests, it's been a really long time since the guest was on, and it's just it's time. Certainly flies, doesn't it, Certainly it flies. But I sort of find myself on a show with the guests, dream so exciting to me dream. I can't wait tonight at midnight. As And here's the deal. We actually sort of play very close friends on the show and colleagues, okay,

and that's true in real life. You're close friends often often colleagues. Sometimes we are, right, I guess today we're sort of working together, you know what I mean. Today, we're sort of collaborating to build, hopefully, what is a comedic piece that people enjoy? You know? Absolutely? And I, oh my god, not to center myself in this, but recently I was a colleague of hers. Yes, and you're swimming a pull together in your off hours, were swimming

a pool together. It was really fun. I heard all about the swimming, and I would love to hear more about it. We'll talk more about it, I hope. So anyway, we just love her so much, so let's we don't even have to do We're not doing credits. This is take it, Take it for what it is, Take it for just but it is. I wonder what the guest vocal quality will be me too, So let's find not

so excited, let's find everyone. Welcome Patty Harrison. Girl this okay, son, peel back the layers let them so not everyone might know what it's like to be on a zoom when it starts being recorded. So what what was that? What was so that this is my this is in bowing.

I know you hate this, but this is my andl audition and uh and and you hate well, I know that you hate how often I am I try and get on this s and l through you three times a week in like personal interactions or you think that do you think that I'm asking out to lunch because I want to catch up? And really it's because I have a character, and and sometimes that character is that teacher you remember who just like had that big stack of papers on the desk. But what is this like? Like,

please don't put that out there? Yeah, please don't set don't turn it in any of yours because there's too much stuff it is. Wait and suddenly I'm back in school. Yeah, Lauren, this zoom. Wait, they don't say what did she say? This dooom is being recorded better than me not being recorded? Now that was kind of just Matt Rogers trying product, That was it? So yeah, when you record zoom if anybody doesn't use Zoom, the video chat app which we

are using right now. Um, if someone who is hosting records, it gives the audio message to everyone on the um in the zoom room, so they up they're being recorded. Yeah, can I do what? Can I do an impression? It's not it's not of that, but it's it's of a zoom thing. Yes, okay, bo oh my god. You know what? You know what that sort of character you know what that character reminded me of to the character of when the subway opens. Yeah, I know that that character. That character.

It's like that's my thing. It's like it's a lot of like wacky physical stuff and then like you know, like chimes, that's that's my style. Wait, okay, can I do an impression? And is okay? So this is an impression? It is um, it's the train voice. It's um, it's the train voice. But he went to my high school. How about that? Please stand clear of the closing doors. Fragg It did not just say fraggett. You know what happened this character that was the high school character of

the high school person. It's like he started to say friend and then remind remembered that he would have felt pressured in high school to be a bully. So he said, faggot. They couldn't see, but I did look over to I like looked that way at my friends that I remembered. And then I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, So tell us about well in high school, you're really popular. Well, yeah, I had a lot of friends in high school. Um,

and I think people know that. I don't think people know because of the way that I dress and the way that I dress, how like how tall I am, my way, my cup size, my curves in all the right places, people know that I was very was popular in high school. Probably never had any problem. No I had. I did have. Um, I didn't like really start having friends until my I always had friends, like a lot of popular right, this is definitely the way people talk when they had a lot of friends. Well, I just

think you need to stop right there. I think you need to stop right there. I'm trying to tell you something and I'm giving you a real answer, give a real Please drops Patty. I'm sorry, but this is Patty dropping into her a net betting and the kids are all right, good register No, I feel bow and I say you stop, you stop stop right there. Stop you can just stop right there. Wait, do you want to know something that happens in that movie that people don't

talk about enough. It's completely non verbal, but it's it's in a netbending moment. It's like the moment after like she and Julian Moore have this huge fight and then like a netbending like Julian Moore's in the kitchen the next morning and then a net bedding goes downstairs and she's in her scrubs and then she just takes a banana and says nothing and walks. It's such a powerful moment, like they're mad at each other and a net betting takes. All she does is she takes a banana and leaves,

like she goes to work. Wait, why did you say that's your takeaway? Yeah? That wait, but why did you say this is your net betting register? Is this something that Patty was doing sort of in the pool when you guys were together. No, not, it's not an inside joke. Not everything's an inside joke. How do he just has one of her huge impressions that almost got her on SNL was and that bending in the all right do it well? I? Yeah? Yeah? And that's true? Is that

um is is I? I can do an impression? That is just and and know that I'm like, I don't need to do celebrity impressions, you know that. But I do know that I think that stuff is shit. Shit, it's so fucking hack and I don't put energy into it and I don't try. It's the thing is when this stuff comes out of me and it like sounds like I've rehearsed it a lot over years, it's because it means nothing to me and I haven't even touched

this stuff. It's my first time doing the impression. Every time. Well, then you're trying to take cover behind the fact that it's good. You're you're, you're, you're, You're trying to take cover behind like detachment and not caring even because it's at that's it's actually a good impression. And that's what's sucked up because it's a really good impression. And now you're like just like blue balling us with the can

you just do it? Do it? Well, yeah, I can do it, but I just want to say that also I have gravel voice right now too, and why well we don't have to talk about it. I went to I went to I went to a comedy show. I went to Sarah Squirms show last night, and then I talked it was just loud and there was like a band that played after and so and the so I just was talking really loud for the night. I didn't

even say out that late. But I'm just with you Bowen and so I just want to say that that, like I don't know, it's my voice isn't doesn't have the elastic city do it? Do it? Now? Stop? Okay, there's the only line that I remember from the movie and from what I looked. I looked at up recently and I don't even think I'm saying the line right, even though this is a way it's because there's also it's one of the things I can't find the clip online, like it's not a big enough scene to people, I

guess for like no one has put it on you. No, randomly everyone knows the line. But the thing is is that I looked it up. I looked at movie quotes, and they quote it differently than how I say it. They still use different words, which I'm like, oh, I

don't remember it being that. But any how so, if if you don't know the conceit of the movie, which I don't even really remember, there's a scene where it's like a net Benning and Juliet Moore are a gay couple, and then Juliet Juliet, Yes, but I don't fucking give a ship. Ugly cunt popular in high school. Yeah, she's ugly cunt. Um and I I think I think she's beautiful. Um uh, they're they're a gay couple, and right, Julian

Moore starts hooking up with Mark Ruffalo. She's like queer curious and she starts hooking up with Mark Ruffalo and then and then and that Benning finds out and then it but is it an open thing? Are they like cheating? Yeah? What's the line? So I'm going to get to that. But the first I want to talk about my first assault. Um so, my first assault was the worst, but definitely it's always the word first. But is the deepest baby behind no? Right? Yeah, I love Lord, I love I

love Lord. Oh my gosh. That okay, I don't think so Hony solar power. Um anyways, well, I guess so I'm wrapping it up. Um, I I have I have cox to suck. Um. No, I don't. I don't take that. I don't. I'm I'm not like trying to do that today.

But okay, so the impression is it's the scene where she's fighting with Mark Gruffalo and he says something about their kids, about them being all right, probably this meeting is okay, son, can you tell me the line and I'll do the Markufo line and it'll kill you, and then you'll do the line. I don't know because I don't know that Matt, you know, but you know the line it's and that's famous line. Yeah, okay, I'll do the line. Yeah. Is it? Is it? Um? Is it

something about him being like a cool guy or something? No? No, no, no, but okay, I'm just gonna do it. I'm not. I don't actually hate like long cells for like people getting around because I think it's going to make it less because what if it doesn't, if it's not as yeah, well it's it's just don't just be just prepared to be like, oh that's fine, okay, okay, ready m hm Well now I'm kind of giggly. Um, I need parenting

advice from you, like I need a dick in my ass. Yeah, I did parenting advice from you, like, and she does have that sort of you're so right. And first of all, that can I say that was so much better than I ever could have dreamed it was? Do you really think so that was so good? I need parenting advice from you, like I need to dick in my ass. It's the it's the it's the squeak on the coming with parenting advice in my needing advice from you, like

I needed dick in my ass. And isn't their scene earlier where they're sort of talking about um Joni Mitchell and she's like, Okay, I like the guy. I think, I like the Yeah, an amazing actor. And I wait, wait, so I did what you did. I don't want to let it leave. I don't want to leave let it leave the energy space that we're creating together right now while it's in my brain. But did you see what was the I almost said the Jared Fogel movie. That's

not it. He's the guy that this this is us? Oh, Dan Foegelman, Dan Fogelman, Jared Foegelman, Uh wait, let up white Pedophile, Dan Voegelman. That movie that he did, he did ask or Isaac's and and that Betting plays the therapist life. Yeah, it was life itself life itself. It looks like a movie that you would enjoy talking about. It is the funny, it's crazy. It is a crazy, crazy, crazy fucking movie. And I saw it in Getters and

it really really okay. There are so many you have to see the movie because it is so I don't watch this as us. I have a lot of friends who are really into it and like think it's an incredible show and that they talk about like the yo yo ing of like the emotional arcs and stuff. Is that it really does a good job of being funny in places but being really heavy in other places. And I appreciate that the movie is a is kind of

like that in a in a carnival mirror house. They have to squeeze all that emotional yo yoing into a movie, which can be really difficult. It's this tiny yo yo it's tiny. Well, it's too bow into what you're saying. Earlier in Nette Benning having this huge moment with like grabbing a banana and not saying anything, there is a scene that this is going to spoil it if you haven't seen it. I don't think anyone cares. Well. It came out in theaters like three years ago, right people have. Yeah. Um,

so there's the scene. The whole thing is that like Oscar Isaac's is like a struggling screenwriter who's like really depressed. I think he's like Olivia Wilde X and her. The whole story arc is it's pretty funny stuff. It's really dark, but it's just like they really make it so zonkey wonky tell a Tubby sort of style tone that um it kind of is. It's like I feel like it's on par with like Trainspotting. Um. But there's this scene.

There's a scene. It's like the tone of it is Oscar Isaac being like, yeah, I'm kind of no whiskey and I'm kinda fuck up. Yeah, not so awesome sauce kind of now that I'm thinking about kind of like Damn Locotta. Um and he's like it's sort of like Dan Locatta vibe of like I think Dan Locatto would probably really like this movie. Um, but he's Anne Benning Aette Benning is his Annett Benning therapist an um ann At Benning and Nette Benning is oh my god, she's

she's a therapist. And um there's a scene in therapy sect session where he's like screenplay or whatever. It's like the thing is like he's trying to write the screenplay, and um, they're coming for me because I said it. I didn't considered it's because you said that. And then I called her Anne at Benning and you know that Annette Benning literally runs Hollywood, so you know that she knows the police. So she and Warren are sending the police to your fucking house and you're going to be

arrested tonight. We don't. First you need to get to the end of the therapy thing. Okay, Well, I'm literally explaining a scene in a movie which is like this is already its own help, but taking up time and poorly explaining the scene in this movie. But um, there's a therapy scene. It's like maybe it's maybe, like and it's pretty it's like a quarter shut up parenting advice

for you. That's the same eye from the beginning of the course of Shai a Lady Gaga that I need parenting advice for you, like I need to tack avice. Um that was anyways, cut it together? Sorry into the line from all right, sorry, keep going. There's a scene where Oscar Isaac shoots himself in his therapy session, he pulled out a gun. He pulls out a gun in front of net Benning and he shoots himself in the head.

His brains go all over the wall. This is and they make and I know that this isn't recorded right, you are lying about there is it's so funny, and it's not funny. It's not funny that he shoots himself, but they make a Net Benning have a reaction to it, and he's just literally talking and he's like, well, I'll ever be a screenwriter. Pulls out a gun and she blows his brains out in her office. And I know that your audience won't be able to see it, but

I'll do it for you. This is her reaction I'm taking. I'm taking my head to head turns out for a moment. I know that's like anti recording quality. There's just going to be a moment in the podcast where the sound quality is bad. I'm sorry, it's but for us to see you. Actually, I should be seated. This is no. So she's watching them and he gets up and he shoots himself and then net Bend goes, no, no, how do you is that real? I'm making just for the movie. Now, No,

I'm not making it up. She literally does, oh my god, wait and he really does it? What this sounds like a pretty Harrison line. Distracted. Abby is struck by a bus. Okay, so Abby, I guess is a woman in the She gets hit by a bus. I guess she dies. Um, she dies, the baby survives. I guess she has a baby. Will, blaming himself for a wife's death, shoots himself in front of Kate. Kate is played by oh my god, you were not lying in her response is She's just like,

I mean, it's honestly, it's honestly. What see. The thing is, it's her reaction is so real. It feels so it's so like downplayed that it feels like maybe that's actually how someone would react if that. And it kind of felt like, you know how like in the Alien movie, they didn't tell them the chess, but they didn't tell the actors like that the chess to get a real reaction in the one actor actually she fell and like hit her head or something like she actually got hurt

in that scene because she was so surprised. I feel like maybe they didn't tell they like redacted or whatever. That part of the scene to like be like something's gonna happen that you need to react to. And then they just had Oscar Isaacs shoot himself in the head on set and that's do you like see it? They yeah,

they show his like brain like blood shut up. Yeah, he like it's one of those it's one of those like squib effects where the actor like puts the gun in their mouth and the cameras like facing their face so the blood splatters like on the wall behind them. This is or whatever. I'm trying to find a video. So when I when I lightly suggests when I'm like, ha ha, it is a very traumatic movie to watch, but it's like trying so hard to like tug on

your heartstrings. They literally they pull out cancer, they pull out suicide, they pull out pregnant woman getting killed. They get Yeah, it's like it's so it try. It tries to hurt you so badly. It's really funny, but it doesn't pay off. They literally have flashbacks where Olivia Wild God bless her, they have her and I don't even think it's a lace front wig. I think it's like us to like party city right on top of her

head and she's like supposed to be in college. It's a flashback to her in college and she runs she runs into the room and she's like, they're like doing beer there. I think they're like doing keg stands. It's like her in college and the guys are doing kig stands. And she runs into the room, uh her party city like, and she's like, my thesis, I come up with my

thesis statement for me. Thesis life itself is. And I don't even remember what she says, but she's the movie title and the thesis of her so she essentially says that thesis of the whole movie I want to say. And I'm shocked that this is real, because I of course saw the trailer for this movie and thought it

was hilarious but didn't pursue the movie. But Scott Chief film critic for The New York Times calls it inadvertently hilarious film filled with parental slaughter where mothers and fathers are hit by buses, parish and car accidents, commits to side and succumb to cancer. Though he praised the actors for their acting, That's the thing, That's what I was just about to say, is that the actors don't sell it out. The actors, Like every actor in that movie is a great actor and they have to for how

wacky the story is, they stay committed. It's kind of why I appreciate like Pretty Little Liars now is that, like the show is so absurd, but like the thing the lines that they have to say, but the commitment that the actors have, it's like, you know, what choice do they have and they do a good job, but like I really think that, Um, it's just like it's really it's a good It would be a good movie, like if you're hanging out with someone who doesn't have

what doesn't get triggered by like you know, you want to maybe like do it because there's like suicide and ship in it. But like it would be a good party watch for with friends if you're sure with friends, just to watch a movie that's like so wild. Literally.

The cast is oscar Isaac, Olivia Wild, Mandy Patinkin Jeans Smart, Olivia Cook, Bow from a Net, Benning, Antonio Bin Derris, and Samuel L. Jackson as himself, the woman who gets cancer, the young woman who play ends up playing like it's like it goes through their lifetimes, so it's like the guy looks like a young woman. No, she's a I think she's a Spanish actor. She's like, she's like a

she's like a forward model. Like she's just like like yes, and Antonia ben banderis um, she's just like the hottest conventionally hottest girl woman on earth. And then she gets cancer and also becomes old, and they put age makeup on her and they literally just wrap like a towel around her head to make her look sick and like truly just like put like they darken. It's like middle school stage theater makeup to make her like she has cancer.

And she's like she's speaking in Spanish, but she's like, my life was beautiful and yet there's more I wanted out of it. And then she's like still you can tell it's like fully a twenty six year old like Ford model, what my son live on? Mandy Moored her right, Yeah, but I feel like Mandy Moore, they at least like the effects from what I've seen, looked a lot better than what they did. I think they tried to do it with this girl and she she was so hot

it didn't work. Drag Mandy Moore for not being hot enough to defeat her old age makeup and have no regrets about what I said. Yeah, I didn't think I know exactly what I was implying, and I'm sorry that

I took this whole thing into that. I think, like people don't talk about Dan Fogelman enough, Like there's something very like I don't know this much about This Is Us, but like the fact that like people die because like an instant pod explodes or croc pod explodes, like that happens pretty much everything that happens in his shows or films are I can't believe happening. Like everything that you

guys have even crazy. It's even crazier than Gray's Anatomy or Desperate House, Like it harkens back to that era of television where it's like primetime soap, and I guess This Is Us is like the closest thing we have to that, Like it's even crazier than that. To me. Yeah, I see, I love that thought. We need soap operas to be soap operas. You have to remember, like it used to be like every episode someone fell down the stairs. So if there's a lion loose on with Steria Lane,

we're doing the right thing. I feel like, you know, when you like you think there's graz anatomy, do they still do every year? There's a huge tragedy. I have no idea. Well, and now they're doing the COVID stuff, where like God, they do COVID ony anomy. No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's it's it's it's rough. That is such a choice because now for the rest of time it has to be about For as long as it's on now it has to be about COVID. They they got to

hang it up. I mean, make your bed, like literally, get they I hope they have to keep writing about COVID that they like, they have to deal with the choice that they mean. Sandra Oh has done like five series since that ended. It's it's yeah, it's crazy, it's crazy. Yeah, she just with the Chair. Have you watched the Chair? I watched some of it. Yeah I did too, Yeah, yeah, I thought Sandra was great. I just you don't even

have to go into it. No, but look, if here's what I'm gonna say, the readers of the pod they want to hear what we think about stuff, and we've gone so far into life itself and this is us. So they really know what we've deal about it, and they also know that we fucking stand. The kids are all right. So I'm not going to bring up the Chair and say I watched some of it but not all of that without qualifying it. Here's my review. Sandra's fucking great. I just don't know if I care that

much about the faculty at a liberal arts school. I just don't know if I care that much. It's a very dry show, and I think it like knows that about itself, and it's like it's an entertaining watch. It's not. It's not asking too much of the audience. It's it's six episodes their thirty minutes, which it's like it goes down easy. And I always I never complain about a show that is like that. I think, And I think there's great performances and then her and j D pots

of really good chemistry. They're great. I think there could be a lion in that show that like, I would like it if they threw a lion. There are like a disease. So see the Chair is like so on the opposite end of that of a Dan Filgiman type of show. Now that we're just like, oh see, we

want we want someone to shoot themselves. I can't believe that happened way because it's sound real, It's sound you were describing in the way that you've been describing the Ellen feud, and I'm like, this is oh, this is just potty like and I'm not I'm not in a riff. I'm not How much do you do you wanna? Okay? I think this is an important time for you to like close the chapter on Ellen. If you think it's closed,

what was it? Like You've told me a little bit about how whatever we want to share about going on Ellen in her last season when you came to face to face with your arrival, um well, and what I have to say about the experiences that I was pretty

nervous going into it. I when I was asked to do it, I was like, I think they're probably going to find out all the stuff that I've said about Ellen in the past, and and to be honest, like a lot of the stuff that I've said on record about Ellen is off from like like that, like it's been a while, like since I guess the last time I had lost caltrisas was yes, since you described the bloody battle you had at your concert with her right, which was like it was like yeah, but that was all.

It was very it was absurd and I was making it up and it was a joke and like I said stuff about her and like other interviews to um about like the George Bush stuff, and I just didn't like for you again. Know they're they're coming again. They're just now coming for Juliet more. They just they passed the house once before. Yeah, and they went and they they arrested Um Taboo from Black Eyed Peace. They're like, there he is, that's Patty Harrison Um and they arrested.

He keeps getting mistaken for me. And the thing that sex is that he loves the attention to Asian icons. Two long haired Asian icons. Taboo wouldn't Patty sitting in a tree f I n g E r I n g e A c h O t h E r I n t h E t r E yes fingering asshole in the tree, fingering each other, fingering each other. I can't even spell, and I spelled it so slow. Wait, I'm sorry, I need to take it back. Taboo was

not Asian. Taboo was Mexican. We're going to keep that in but okay, so you did some silent research though I didn't even hear the typing, and I just loved. I love that The Google search was is taboo from Black Eyed Peas Asian boo, Asian woman, taboo woman, taboo taboo. We need to know. I was on Wikipedia. I was already on with the pen and I looked up taboo black Eyed Peas. I did not add any like identifiers

or anything, and nothing came up. So I just went to the black Eyed Peace page and then clicked taboo and then looked up h Early Life. So is the Black Eyed Pea website just all the members and next to them it says their race. I mean it could be yeah, I think that looks like Fergie White. No, Fregy's race would be listed and this is there and this is their wording, not mine. It would be the R word because they used it. They every time that song gets played, that's them using the R word. Listening

to that song. Now, listen the clarity in which they say it in the studio record. How much they enunciate the word every like every what? What? What? What are the linguistics behind it? Like t like like is it fricative? Closive fricative to to I think is closive right because it's yeah, you're pushing the air right, tend to are really aggressive on that. But Fergie can, she can. They can still sing that because Fergie that's her race. She

identifies that the race. Yeah, and that's why people people need to like get off their fucking little PCs j W culpits and say that and they need to learn that like that. She actually has agency to say it because she identifies as that. Um and she even said she they say it in the song. They all identify as that, but um pc W culture bring back the uncensored version of that song of when You Get It started. Igzela said it too. And my flow the word she describes her flow as she is like she I think

is needs she needs some like aloe on her soul. Um. But I love that. But I do want to say, because you uh, someone I saw the other day and I just like looked at on a random Instagram post, I got a notification and I like I really skimmed them. That's something that I trained myself to do. It's like I'm like, don't go through my notifications like with intent or attention, Just like skim if you see something catch

your eye. Great. It's the same with my message request because I get like insane messages and it's just not worth it. But I saw this person just commented Tronny really big on one of my sixtures. But and I was like like yeah, like when we were talking like rahnny um, and I was like, oh, us nice. And then I looked at their profoule and it's just like a white Sisters woman. And that was the thing where I was like, you know, I think she listens to

Lost culturest does I think she is meaning well? And and so I was like, is this a moment where I a teachable moment where I can send her like anx DM. And I was like I just don't. I'm just gonna let her live in that and she can just like have her joy around getting to comment TRONI something. But I think she's like doing it like in fellowship with me, like feeling like ha ha Trani, We're we can all see. And I was just like, you know what,

I actually don't want to. I don't I don't care if like at this point, I'm not even gonna like put energy into into I guess trying to dissect like agency around gate keeping language it to that degree. So I'm just like, you know what, I just don't give a ship because this is just like a person I

don't know and it won't meet whatever. But um um, I mean, I mean there's a world where maybe she's she's they she or something like a fab they she, But even then it's like that is like an interesting thing. That is why I have opted out of the conversation is with like the they she of it all is like in people who are like gender fluid, and which

I do like I think is valid. I think non binary identities are completely valid, but I think it's it is still gives me a jolt when like like cis presenting a fab they she's that are hyper fem they she's will like start throwing the word training around in front of me, and I'm like, oh, I don't think you've lived with that word or had it used at you in a way that it's like, I know that

you feel you're integrated into this like culture. Now. I think the Internet expedites that that feeling of like, oh this is my I have access to this now, but it is still jarring for me in a way that I'm like, you know what, I'm just gonna anytime I see this happening, I'm just not investigating it. I'm gonna be trying my inner gen tip ordering food from California Chicken Cafe. Go for Chicken Cafe. In my ass, well, this is like I don't have that much insightful things

I do. You always say stuff like that, but then you always say something like no no no no no no no no. But he's getting your defenses down, so you assume you're going to hear some dumb ship and then when he hits you with something wise, that's part of it. I'm about to say the dumbest thing I've

ever said in my life. But I feel like this is a thing that I think is part of this cultural conflict in the trans community between like it's not quite I feel like the conflict is not quite like trucecum versus transgender thing like where it's like there are like there there is like a gate keeping segment of the trans population that are like you have not had a lived in trans experience, and therefore you are not you you you don't you should not like throw around

certain words or concepts and the and the way that you capitally we are and then but it's like who but them, like how much how much gatekeeping like is actually like beneficial or helpful, Like it's it's it is things where it's like, well if if we're trying to destroy like gender like ideas that are like very like deeply programmed into things, and like where do you I think, like like where do you like rebuild from It's it's

it's tough. Yeah, I mean I get I understand like the the frustration and the anger around like you know when when people do use that language that other people are like, you know, you don't have you haven't done the ground the footwork or the ground where to like

have that word and your your vocabulary. But I'm like, I think in terms of like caring for like trans people, it's like I'm like divesting in my energy into that because it just seems like people put us so much energy into this discourse around I don't even call it discourse I have. I'm like, I think just like being obsessively online for like most of my twenties, I'm like I learned a lot, but I also am I'm like I feel like as long as I'm online, I'm not.

I don't know. I just feel like, what what do I do in my lived life? In person? I'm not going to scream this person's head off because I'm like there, it's just like really hard. It would be really hard to objectively clock some the level of someone's experience and agency and their trans experience before they can like start

saying a word whatever. I'm just like, you know what, Like I would rather just order food from California And this is how you learn that I have like a four hundred thousand dollar deal with California ship in cafe trends if there was less in fighting in the trans community.

Now I get it too. It's like I have frustrations around that stuff too, but I just like have opted to to divest and not because I'm like at the end of the day, at the end of the day, the only person who knows the authenticity of like a person and their experience is that person. Like it's just like there's no I think it just goes across the board in every situation, in every relationship that you have. But like I don't have the tools and I will

just simply never know. I can't be a detective to like, you know, if I am doing detective work, to just like figure out if this person is like as trans as they say they are. Something. It's like why do I care? Like why I'm there are other people who are much more toxic to me than like this well meaning commenting in all caps, forty exclamation boards points try, well, this is this is the thing. This is how It's not the same. It's not like the same like analog.

But like I heard someone I heard, I heard this professor say this about like racism as it pertains to Like this was like right around like March, when like I was like just I don't know, like taking a lot of stuff in and you know, there was a professor who was just like you know, my husband and I were like waiting at some like bus stop in Germany and this like old woman was like glaring at us and like being awful and like like muttering all

these like racist German things under her breath. And then my husband was like, should we say something? And then she was like no, Like what am I gonna do? Like yell at this old woman to stop. Like it's like they're like the thing to think about is there are racists who can hurt you and there are racists

who can't. It's like it's like it's the frame of it should be around like power, and so it's like does this white person like who like presents super fem but it's like using the she pronouns like ken they

hurt you, probably not. And so as it relates to like our white feministenership of this show, like I think Matt and I remember Matt remember We're not going to name names, but there was one time where we were at a show where there was this like I'm not gonna say which city, but there was a performer, a white, a fab person who performed in her I don't think so, honey, was I don't think so, honey. Minions you look like the kids who make you in factories or whatever, like

you look like Asian people. And I always like literally five feet away from her, and I was like, and I think people were like there was there was tension in the room because they're like, oh, like this is like blatantly racist Asian people. And in the moment, I was just like I don't fucking care, like she's this like she's this person I'm never I'm probably never going to see again, and like I don't have to waste any energy on like her like misguided attempt at humor,

like because so humiliating for her that I'm not embarrassed. Yeah, it's more cringe than it is like offensive, because you're just like, yeah, God, like this so not right and so like and and that's not like that that is also not like the proper and allot to like this person Patty that's in your comments, but like who thinks that, like they have this familiarity with you and to like type in all caps this word that you made up, um the flur that you made up, you know, I

don't know. Yeah, well, I just I know I appreciate what you said about that too. I think, like I think it's just a moment of discernment if you have the stamina and like engaging kind of the the little details of each each occurrence case by case basis of when of when it's like okay, like you know, is this is this worth my time and energy? Is this going to be good for me personally? Like? My is that how you felt with Ellen when you were face

to face with her? You were like, oh right, Well to get back to that I will say that I was really you know, going into that interview, I was like, I'm going to be a good sport. I am excited to get to do it. It is crazy like my I literally my fourth grade teacher, Eileen, who was like

my best friends in high school's parents mom. She was the mom, and she I would like get off the bus and go watch Ellen with them, or like a get or like after school when when my friends started driving, like that's like the first thing we would do when we'd get back and like, um, so there is this like internalized magic about that that I'm like, I'm not above that. I'm not above like wanting the school experience. And the things that I said were like either jokes

or from years ago. And then our teams talked to kind of clarify that I wasn't gonna like do anything to ambush her, like that she wasn't gonna do anything to like ambush me. It was like very like felt out in advance. And then but I really went in with like blank slate, I'm just gonna like I'm here to kind of promote the movie and that's all it has to be. I think she's kind of been through

the ringer. I don't again that energy preserved thing. It's like I don't want to when you're like with somebody in person, it's like, oh yeah, I remember that this person as a person. Whatever. So when the day we were it was really quick. I just went into the studio. I got there. My makeup artist Kirston came with me. Kirston Coleman, she's fucking amazing. She's like, she's so sick. She went with me, and then Ellen came to my dressing room beforehand and said high and it was very

like very nice, very brief um. And then that we did like a pre interview, so we knew what we

were going to talk about. In the pre interview, they asked, do you like a couple of questions, so it's like the phone call the day before and they just kind of they're like, okay, so here are some things we talked about, and then you feel it out to see if there are any interesting stories so that you optimize the interview time, like I think every interview talk show is like that, so that you're not like wildcarding saying something random um and you know, or giving a boring

interview on TV UM. So we had the pre interview. It was nice, and then I went on and it's in COVID, so there's no screens. Yeah, it was literally like people watching on zoom but there's no audience. Yeah, it was. It was exactly that. It was very like like sci fi or whatever. But there was like some producers standing in the wings and Ellen, you know, she's sitting there and she's greeting you. The stage is like bigger. You don't you don't hug her. I can't remember if

we hugged or not. I think I we like elbow bumped or something, or we sat down or maybe we Yeah, I don't remember if we hugged, but um, yeah it was. I literally was. So I was nervous that I was like, is any of this past stuff gonna come up? And it was. It was nice, Like you can watch the

interview online. So she leaned in like I don't know if you saw it, it was okay, yeah, like they cuts the commercial and like there's a little moment where she leans in and like we like giggle and then I like walk off stage or whatever, and that's like you don't hear what was being said. But like right after the interview, I was because I was like saying that I was nervous, and she was like, can you

tell that your tits are so fucking deformed? Your stupid ugly Your breast implants are like literally hanging lower than they need to be. And I was like, han, She's like, hey, hey, you he she tranny, I'm talking to you. And I said, excuse me, excuse me? Do you hear yourself? Are you serious? Do you know you're being recorded? She said no, no, no, no she It was so funked up. She says, no, no, she the mics are off. Now the eneviews over look

at the little ticker and I looked over. I looked and there was a little ticker and that had the time on it. And I said, oh my god, it froze. Does that mean? And she's like, yeah, the recording stop. No one knows what the hell I'm saying to you. And I said, this is fucked up. When I guess what, I don't have breast implants. I don't have breast implants. I just started hormone therapy and the tissues not growing in evenly. She didn't even know. You know what she did?

She stood up, She stood up, and she turned and she slid down. She slid down her slacks just a little bit, and she revealed, right right above her butt crack, there's a little tattoo. I guess that it said, what did it say? No, No, don't do it. Oh my don't don't say it. No, I had to can't even say I can't. I shouldn't, you know, I really shouldn't say what the tattoos are? So wait, my gosh, it said. It said, said Jared fogel Free. He said he didn't

do anything. And the people and it said, the people who said he did something wrong are wrong because I know them and I know that their liars. She is so fucking evil. And then she pulled her pants on a little further and she farted fucking and it fucking reeked.

And you know why why, you know why because she's Keto And it was just like yeah, and it was enough and the heart was enough that it gave her a little boost forward and she kind of like and her pants were low around her knee, so she was like, well and she like had to catch herself on her chair. Did she successfully? Did she wants successfully catch herself? Yeah? She made it in the chair. She didn't fall. But I stood up. I told you, I stood up. Well

what did you do? Did you defend yourself or what or not? This was your last chance to Yeah, I stood up and I said and I was like, this is so in approach. And before I could even get it out, she's points out. She's like, both of your both of your deformed breasts have fallen out of your shirt. And I looked down. She was right and they were out.

And I looked and for the first they're not even they are they are And it's because I sleep on my stomach and so what they've been growing in my sleep when I had the hormones and they're growing on their growing kind of oh my god, you don't even let me say it. You didn't even let me say it. Let let me go, let me own my journey. Fucking oh my god. I want to call you a fagot,

and I'm call me a frogge. You can call me a fragg I'm talking to my therapist now and she's saying that I use faggot in an attempt to claim an adjacent c to being siss, because that's where I feel power is. And I agreed, and we had sex and it was really bad. You should not have had sex with your therapist. That's one of the top rules. Oh my god, my therapist. He fucking fucking highest, biggest tits. Oh my god. Chin to her chin like literally literally

when when we're pile driving, she's like she's upside down. Yeah, and it's into when cheese spreads or her boobs. Both her eyes are bruised. Oh my god, smacking, smacking like big. It's like this. Did you did your elementary school have that phase where you had milk in a bag like chocolate, you have to stab the bag with the straw. Yeah, exactly, it's like that slapping. What color is her hair? It

is fire red. Got so hot, hot hot red head with huge fucking tits and bruised face from the tips hitting her from getting Yeah, imagine she kind of looks like Detavantissa glasses. Oh my god. Wait, harder than sucking a chess game on the queen's gambit. Yeah, I saw the camera shake. I saw your camera shake on your laptop because you hit the bottom little bit. Yeah. I have a really big penis that gets very hard when

I talk when I think about sex. Yeah, does your therapist your therapist Glasses shot her when the tips head. Uh No, it's it's like a really thick reinforced plastic that they've used on the popmobile. Smart lady vibes, Yeah she's smart, but yeah, anyways, um as I set up Ellen turning on, she shot me on fucking head and then but you survived, yea, Ellen, she was an audience and then she went if there was another Ellen in the audience up and was like, she is so messed up.

It is so messed up that she did that. I know. But the thing in her house is that in lockdown, everyone in Lockdown is going through an immense amount of psychological trauma that we don't even We have so easily and quickly normalized the fact that like we all just carry on with our day to day lives because we have to, and we don't think about how lockdown is

affecting us. I don't think if I don't think there's any world where, like hypothetical world where like if the pandemic didn't exist, that she would have gotten that Jared Vogel was innocent tattoo like setting free. The first time she had to do was pre pandemic. This is who she is, and don't don't let her convince you that she's changed at all. She's the same person. She's the same ugly person on the inside and out. She is

picking me up today today. Remember when we thought the podcast was at when I was got worried because the emails had the time wrong and it said it was recording it almost completely. Okay, it's really okay because sometimes people wreak a little havoc, and that havoc is paid for in hell chaos theory. What are you guys doing today? That's taking you up for? Where are you going? We're gonna go to Greta v am Fleet concert. No, you know what's going to happen? Hi me run again? Isn't

a Living of eight? That's rush? Okay? But Patty, I feel like this is actually a beautiful sort of like I think this is like very like um, you know, like first like the Harry Potter books, like the Seven Books are over. But now there's a new sort of like territory in the I P that we get to explore, which is the post Ellen talk show era. And now like the fight is like kind of like really like entering this new territory. And I think This is really exciting.

This is like to big continued, Well, it's like, what is the other movie with Eddie redmain Um, fantastic The Danish Girl? Oh yeah, fantastic beasts. Fantastic. Hey, you want to talk about a fantastic beast, try seeing the Danish girl. She was ugly dog. She's a dog. That Danish dog should be called fantastic beast. Ugly bit. Damn wow. This character that you're playing telling no lies, girl, She's telling no lies, damn Danish girl. More like, get yourself some

fucking highlighter, your damn dog. I learn where your t zone is, your fucking damn dog. God, there should be there. There's anything like a Jeff Foxworthy type of stand up and not that that was like a Duff box Worthy type of just like just Heartland stand up but like comedy touring, blue cog comedy. Yeah, that's what I was

going for it. But like but like talks specifically and like specific niche clear references, not that Danish girls specific in niche, but like it's just like that nearest contrapoint was real? Was a real was a real head scratcher, wasn't it? That was the worst color they'd never heard of yellow or Ran. I hated that lesbian film pussies are fake as meal. They were not even real pussies. Not even one came on a damn screen prosthetic pussy. More like more like and see you later, wait me up.

When Rachel McAdams spit and Rachel Vox's mouth again, that's female sociality. I'm gonna be real honest with y'all. I've never even saw Moonline. Okay, I'm just gonna be the woman comic on the door. I'm gonna get some ship for that, but I men't see it, okay, And I just want to stay. I just want to say before this gets sound bit, did that? I'm from Orient, Ohio and everybody fucking talks like that, So yeah, I have

the fucking agency to do a voice like this. Have you have you gone home to Have you gone home to currn? Hey? Have you gone home to see your fucking hick family recently? Yeah? I did? Yeah? Well, how was that? It was really emotional on lame. My mom's moving out of my childhood home. What's gonna go? Yeah, she's gonna go to another house that is like far a little bit smaller downside. It is actually a little bit smaller, but I think it's a little nicer. It's

not falling apart as much. And it's it's not like in an area that I would really like her living in, just because it's like very trumpy. Um. And well she can start a movement there. Well, she's also very trumpy. I mean she could start she should started uprising of trumpers there. Yeah, that's true that you know what, that's true. She and she just needs a little plush and I'll

be the person that gives her the little zoon she needs. Um. But then does this mean that will the animals have a place to roam because she has a lot of animals, doesn't she Well she no, not a lot, but she had some cats and a dog. But my sister is taking them, so they're still in the family. They're just they're going to be with her with my sister and said and my mom. So I got to see my sisters, which is really nice. Um, because normally I'm only home for Christmas. Do you guys go home a lot? I

haven't gone. I used to go home, I would say too much. And I think this is a moment that we are readjusting because I see my family a good amount. I don't live I don't live in New York anymore, and so I don't see them all the time like I used to do. But I see them a good amount. But the pandemic it's different. But you know, I see them and correspond with them a good amount. I wanted to ask you guys a question though, Yeah, it has to do with what I said earlier. Um, about how

you guys swam together. What happened in the pool that day? Well, there were multiple days. Well the first day, what happened? Well, well, first off bone when so we we worked on a movie together, a lot of Hollywood A listers. Juliette, Julianne Julianne, Juliette more Ptato, julian Posatoes, Um, Julianne Potatoes. What if someone just what if we had you know, we have these moments where it's like, oh, like someone bursts onto

the scene like likes or whatever. Yeah, like like yeah, if there was just like someone who bursts onto the scene in her fifties and her name was Julianne Potatoes, why do you laugh like that? She just happened and she just showed up in everything. She happened like Clairefoy. Yeah, she had Clairefoy girl. Mom. No, I felt like Clarifoy just like kind of was everywhere for a moment. Maybe that she was. She was in the Crown and then she know she was in the First Man movie, Neil

Armstrong movie. She said, You're a bunch of boys. And she was the girl in the Dragon girl girl in the Yeah, she was. She played list Salderned, one of the great names. I hope I hope that a Julian and a Julian they're coming back. Um No, but Bowen and I, yeah, we were working has this big part in the movie. And it's not a big part. It's not. I'm like, it's a fun part, but it's pretty small, I think. But I was there for a while. You were there for the whole thing. No, I wasn't. Oh

they shot for they shot. They just got downe shoot, I know they did. They did, just get You're right, So you and I wrapped around the same tip. But I was just there. But I was there for a month and a half. Yeah, you were there for a week, and um I love that week. That was really fun.

It was so fun. It really made me want to, Like, I think I've been fantasizing about going on like some sort of weird tropical vacation with friends literally for like years and years and years and years, and I've never done that. And that still doesn't I don't think that's

still I don't think that still counts. Like I think that is just a preview, because it was we were still there for work, so we still had to like go do stuff, and but it was so cool because the first place we stayed they moved us around, it was in the Dominican Republic and Bowen got there and we got a place that had golf carts like ours. They go real fast. No, they went top what's faster than five ten? So I'll be lucky and gradeful what else?

Thank you? It was it was fun. And then Patty and I, yeah, Patty moved around a bunch of resorts and I was there for two of them, and you. The second one was Punticana, which was kind of like a weird, nasty resort. But our rooms, the rooms they put us in were cool because they were they had a swim up They had a swim up pool to the patio, so like the back pool was there was a big, like a really long, thin, rectangular pool that

ran along the back of the building. And our rooms are like patios, had steps down into the pool, so I could go swim over to Bones room. He was two rooms down, and one of the other actors was like right beside us, so we could like all like hang out. And it was really it was really starting to like be like like text bone and be like, hey, I am swimming over and literally at like because we would wrap at like midnight or so it was like night swimming. That's so fun. So who did you guys

ever have a race in the water? No? Oh, but you don't want to know something there was. There was a There was a duck. There are multiple ducks that came into the pool and they were so beautiful. Did you name her Chlorine? Because what she was all around? No, Chlarine. We didn't name her, but we did. We did sing Born this Way, like we felt the need to sing Born this Way too, like a very specific it was a queer duck. Yeah, well we were. We just saw the duck and I was like, I need to sing

the song Born this Way by Lady Gaga. It was it was this, Are you ready? It was your orient That was you Lebanese, your Lebanese, your orientban don't be, don't be, don't be. Do a remix of it where I cut it together and just I cut together that don't be from don't be a bat drag queen or she goes, don't be so, don't be your Lebanese, don't be don't be gay, straight up, don't be don't be transgender? Yeah, Ori, and don't be baby baby? I was Orients. They yeah,

what's your baby? I was orient Baby? I was Orient Orient. I'm beautiful in my way because I'm as anyway. That's the pool. It was really fun and but what I was going to say, it made me want to like actually plan a vacation like somewhere, because I've traveled for work a little bit and I'm always like take it as a vacation, but it's not an actual vacation because I'm stressing about working all the time. So it would

be nice to do replicate that again. But I think that's kind of when do you want to do it, Let's plan it. No, But the fire Island trips, like there's still like this like social pressure to like do certain things um and I would love a vacation that was just like fully like like people like brought food

to you, you know, like I need That's what I need. Yeah, just like completely glazing over and not having any I don't want to be like, hey, guys, were actually going to go to this museum and one pm and then we're going to get in we have reservations at this place that blah blah blah. It's like those plans every like maybe like one day on the trip, but like I like the spontaneity of just being like, oh, I have this free time to just kind of like mosy around. Yeah,

you want to do like a proper relaxing beach vacation. Yeah, I've never done that. I don't have a trip plans. I realized I don't have it. I don't have travel plans at all, Like I have nothing planned. The funny thing is I keep saying let's plan it. I've said it two times in the past. Literally, it's two times in the last five let's planet. No one heard it. Well, I've been saying it, and I have a very my

voice is very resonant. Okay, I would let's planet. The week of Halloween a spooky really yeah, oh my god, that's your birthday, and that's your birthday, my birthday. But the thing is is I won't make it about my birthday. We can, we will know, but my birthday is the next week, and so we can make it about if you want to take the pressure off, we can make you make it about multiple birthdays. I would literally do that. I have, I have, I don't have anything going on

at that time. Well, Bowen, let's you and me keep let's keep talking, just you and me, Bowen, and then Matt, Matt, if you want it, I will go on a trip with you to get butter beer at whatever. Harry sutter that now I know that you can't get enough of that dumb gay shit butter beer. Look at your life. Harry Potter fan Daniel Radcliffe says it's okay to go to Harry Potter world still, because if you look at

something from Harry Potter, her, that's you, good life. Tools You should not let that turf ruin it for you. I think that's the thing is is that is that that's hard is that I was a big, very hairy Potter fan. So talk about your love for Harry Potter, now so that we can sort of get you on record doing that. I at a young age, I really started loving Harry Potter. I think Harry Potter. I really did.

I really did. I only read the first four books, and it was like when I was a kid, and then the movie started to come out, and I really loved the first four movies, and then I liked the other movies after I liked that it. I think it's because I like, like around the holiday time, Like I like around Christmas and Thanksgiving, Like I really like that time of year, and that's when like ABC Family would start playing the marathons of Harry Potter, like it kind

of all signified the same. I think there's just like a lot a mental tie in with like that season and feeling like fall and I do you know, I think there's a lot of really funny, nice moments in those movies that are you know, ingrained in my brain, but also, you know, there's all the stuff surrounding it

that's just like a big bummer. And I really hope that j. K. Rowling finds healing um in her life and that she can come around and that we can have the first Harry Potter book Room movie Fry Potter becomes a maybe Harry Potter decides one day that she's tired, she is tired of living, of living a secret, magical life, and so she's as a polyjuice potion to turn herself for one day into a woman, just to see what it feels like. And she goes to hide in the bathroom.

And she goes into the bathroom. Yeah, she takes us a to the woman's bathroom, and as a woman, she just assaults a bunch of kids in the bathroom. But she it's like, it's kind of like, I think j K would really like to write a book like that, because that's kind of what she she loves to write about. So it's like, Harry Potter, you could take a pologuice potion,

get all the ingredients. Make sure you get all the ingredients you need the hair of the person you want to transform into, don't forget and don't forget, and then you wear you a little invisibility click into the bathrooms because oh, the transformation is a little painful, but it's well, oh, I'm very I'm turning into a beautiful girl in the

bathroom who loves kid. Did she ever write in the books like they took the apologies potion and then they looked at their own dicks or their new genitals and they're like, WHOA nice? Like that is like, I don't the first thing you would do. I actually don't think that there was, but I think it might be a thing where I don't think a male character turns into a female character. I don't think. I don't things. I'm

from into the cat. I think if I think if I think if if like the male characters turned into another male character, the first thing you would do, you know, like you know, like be like, oh, whoa, I would And I'm saying male male characters specifically in the Harry Potter world, because trans people don't exist, and so the male the men have penises. Well, the magic Matt they there's a magic spell. There's a magic spell that makes everyone not dysphoric. No one feels any dysphoria in the

Harry Potter world. It's like when you pass through the platform nine and three quarters into the Magical Realm, you're like, oh, like, sucks all your agenda just for you out of you? Read is trans The way she acts, the way she fucking acts, snooping around a little bit. She's nothing going on in her life. She's trans. She's at home on the internet all the time, so afraid to leave her fucking how she can't even take the trash can out because she's has anxiety. She's afraid of getting bashed, and

she's like, what can I do? What else can I do? I can put on this little gay gass coat ugly like like ugly old Vinciae, Ralph Laura, not even good stuff, kind of like stuff Anna Wintour would like, and she just kind of goes out and just like trying to pay homage to like ugly starlets of whoever gives a fun time period. She's going around interviewing people. Are a little dumbass notepad that writes for itself. Yeah, you're a training queen. We all see it, and it's time for

you to go home. You call your end of chronologist, to the end of Chronologists, and also like fine support, finally get out of the magical realm. It's not safe for you there. She doesn't write are the real world, It would be the villains, like if there were if they were in Harry Potter, if there were trans characters, they would be the villains. Um I wanted to before

we go into UM, I don't think so, honey. I feel I would be remiss if we didn't say that you really were fabulous and together together and I was very proud of you in a real way, to drop all pretense orifice, all these things. You were so good and like, I was very proud of you. And I went to see you at the Universal CityWalk and and and it was my second movie back. I saw King Kong, Godzilla and then you, and you were the biggest monster on screen. J K. You fucking sucked and you're a monster.

Oh my god. Well, mad, thank you for seeing the movie. I loved it, I really did. You were great. You were so good, so good, and well that means a lot to me. I really feel like there is this thing that, um there is. We watched What If We Flushed Evan. We pulled up the clipping and Patty was like, hey, yeah, it definitely was a really fun set improvised wise, um,

we definitely. I was working with Ed Helms, who was amazing clap yeah, you know, I'm from the office, and he was really fun in our trailer, especially nice to each other. So we would have lunch together and it was crazy. He would do practical jokes. Here. He put a spider, a fake spider in my soup, and it was really fun out And anyway, thanks for having me. That's what you should that's what you were. That is but a spider of my hair and my soup from

California Chicken Cafine. What were you going to say about the film? I was just gonna say that it's it's nice of you. It's really nice of you to say that, And it means a lot to me that you saw it. An interesting phenomenon after or having the movie come out is that I think I had I just like promoted it a lot and so so I think people were aware that it was happening. But a lot of my friends not seeing it. And every time I see them, they they will tell me they haven't seen it yet,

and I'm just like, you don't have to. You don't actually ever have to see it. It is not in my I told you that because and the reason I said it was because I genuinely did want to go see it. The way, do you see I have the sock on my hand. I don't really have twos. I have two stocks on my hand and I don't know how it happened, but it sort of looks like your color scheme. You look like a doctor SEUs. But I remember,

you know what it's when we did the reading. We did a reading for a movie Patty, and I saw you and I knew. I was like, oh, I haven't seen it yet, and I saw you make a little bit of a face like I didn't know what it was.

I thought maybe you were irritated that I hadn't seen it or and now and now I know, now I know that you felt like I don't know, Yeah, it's it's my That look is like me about to be like, you know, you don't have to like, you don't have to see it doesn't hurt my feelings if like my friend I don't like, I don't see a lot of

stuff that like my friends do not like. It's like if I know something is like really important to somebody and they've expressed that to me and it's like one of my best friends, then like, yeah, I want to see my friends work, but I don't get to catch everything. I feel like that's the thing too, is just like having a lot of friends that are like being doing like making stuff. It's like, you don't see everything, so I don't ever expect anybody to see it. But people

see me. If people run into me, and especially like in like at a lockdown, like they see me somewhere, the first thing they'll be like, oh, I haven't watched a movie yet, but I want to see it really badly. And I'm like, you actually don't have to watch it. I don't feelings if you don't want to. But so all of that is to say, no, it's not stupid. I get it, though. I get because I think people like I think people get that it's like this. I think social media. I think social media, um really fun.

It's really fun, an amazing time with it. Hell n set showed me the rock son up. Oh my gosh, there was one time on set the jock even the spider in myself, you should have done the out inter you like that for real? She'd been like when I was when I asked four years off my brother was killed in a car accident half a mile down the street from their house. It's informed my entire scope of the world. I interrupt and see empathy and others and in myself. But anyways, yeah, sorry, I don't know. Thank

you for seeing it. I um, and first of all, I'm not I. The only reason I bring it up now because I know how much it fucking bothers you, is because I want people out there that are listeners of the Pot and readers of the Pots to see it too, because I think it would enrich their life. Okay, So that's the only reason I tell you, whether or not I saw what you've done, is because I actually liked it a lot and I think it would enrich their life. Okay, Well, thank you. That's really kind of

you to promote the movie on the podcast. I do appreciate it. I was about to burn the readers. Don't have you. You don't have to lif you see Patty. Don't tell her old. Don't tell her that I don't have to be the first thing you tell her. Don't tell me you haven't seen the movie. If you have that, it makes sense. It's like an indie movie. No one sees that ship. It's it's not god Zilla versus King Kong. Yeah, which, by the way, I definitely saw first. That was top

of my list. I was like, oh, I can see a movie. Well, I'm definitely not seeing no indie. I'm going I watched the until I think literally maybe twenty minutes into the movie when they're fighting on the boats. They're standing on the big like carrier ship fighting, and I was like, I've suspended my disbelief for this whole time, and I just can't suspend it this much, you know. I was like, this, just those boats, this is just not how the physics would work. Yeah, I was like,

Ed Helms and Patty haven't fucked yet. I was like, I've suspended my disbelief for this long. I'm like, this is platonic. Like I was like that they have railed each other yet. No, we are characters do what everyone says that it's a movie about platonic friendships. But there is a scene. There's a scene, there's literally a scene, well, we go for, we go for, Like it's in the

beginning of the movie. Sorry, remember when I said let me be the one who Earlier earlier in the podcast, I said, hey, can you let me steer my own journey? You often interrupt me. Well, I am saying it now, Okay, okay, Sorry, there's a scene earlier in the movie. There's a scene early in the movie where he felt just me and then but wait and then are you and a Julio's character platonic in the movie too? Or do you guys

do is there something sexual there? Uh? We are platonic, but Julio does um, he fus Gavin McGinnis, Gavin McGinnis the guy, the former vice guy who became the leader. Oh yeah, okay, but he's dressed as a woman and that's the thing. And then um, and then Gavin McGinnis like panic beats him up and then it has it's been off in the works where that's the court case about like gay panics. Is Nicole doing that one too? Um? Nicole back with is signed on to do that movie.

It is being made by Anna Parna and Radio Shack and Radio Shacks having a big comeback and they put a lot of money into this and it's just really cool and great that they're invested in arts. And I think that's really that's really commendable, amazing, that's amazing. I'm so excited for you. I'm so excited. I'm so excited, so excited. You're like a movie star. That's so amazing. Movies, it feels and I feel it too, is the thing.

The thing is I walk when I go out and I walked to get my groceries and I'm wearing my sun dressed and my sneakers that are white, but they got a little dirt relable what I Um, Yeah, I guess, I don't know. I don't try not to look at it that way. They're just shoes, after all. Um people do stop and they look at me, and I'm knowing in that moment that they're not just looking at me because if my height or my curve in all the right places are my rests that are just the right height,

not too big, but a good handful. They're recognizing me from something that they watched and something that they falled over in a character that they fell in love with. And there's something incredible about that. And I don't know. In the COVID nineteen of it all, I feel that there's so little magic left in ourselves. We're optimistic, We're not optimistic. We're pessimistic if anything. And I would just like more people to be able to feel what it feels like to be a movie star. And I think

everyone should give it a try. I hope, I hope that I hope that thank you it is time for I don't think so honey, it's a segment podcast that we do, and it's I'm not telling you, it's sixties seconds of ranting of about something in pop culture or life that we feel it's it's time for it to hear it, you know. M hmm. I want to go first. Okay, this is Matt Rodgers. I don't think so honey, time starts new. I don't think so honey, that I ever

said a bad word about Christin Stewart. And I'm gonna come on here and say that I apologize because I have said many sort of as many people would call shady comments about Christmas Stewart. I have come on this podcast and said I don't think she does much of anything at all, and she just sort of shows up on camera and looks gorgeous and she gets a pass for it. And I thought her lip biting in Twilight

sort of like was really all she did. And then sort of, you know, she moves on in Time, she does Clouds of Seals Maria, and she sort of like impresses me there and then all of a sudden, the Spencer trailer happens, and I have to say, I don't think so honey myself because looks like she embodies Diana Spencer aprint this Diana Diana Partuss of Wales aka the basis for one of the most famous beanie babies of all time. And it looks like she is doing it beautifully.

And I loved her. Two words that we heard in the trailer they don't. I thought that was really beautiful. And I think anyone that can hold their own opposite Sally Hawkins, one of the best British actresses, there's my respect. So I don't think so, honey meat for the things I've said, I eat crow, I eat crow path and that's one minute. You're in crowth. I mean crow actually said crow pie, but you say it with a Southern accent like Sutton Strack. I don't think you know who

that is. But it's okay, Um, she's a real housewife of Beverly Hills. Okay, okay, Well, thank you for explaining

it to me. Yeah, why did you feel the need to apologize about comments you made on about Curse's stewarts, Because I think I've been I think, honestly something and this is a this is a real thing, I think, and I'll just I'll just say this sometimes like I get very sensitive and for straighted when someone has something to say about me on the social media and I heard what you said before about like you know, like people like you couldn't feel like they can say whatever

they want about you on social and then like you actually are a person and you're rather sensitive. And I've discovered about myself that I am sensitive. And it's actually been kind of interesting to have projects come out and then have them be up for consumption and have them be you know, discussed, and it's almost like people talk about you like as if you are not a person.

And it's been interesting to know that we've had this podcast for now going on like six years where we've sort of like discussed celebrities and like both like serious and non serious ways, like sometimes we have a lot of fun with them and other times we're like actually dissecting the work and stuff. And I think it can kind of get gray area E. But I think, UM, I've just been sort of examining the ways in which, um,

I've like dragged certain people. And Kristen Stewart is someone that I dragged quite a bit, and I don't think she doesn't necessarily had did anything to deserve and and probably her experience with fame was very painful, and especially knowing that she's a member of the queer community and that she probably had a lot of things going on and was forced to sort of appear oh way that

she was uncomfortable with. And I just think that I did not need to say things I've said about her, such as you know that she does nothing on screen. It's not her fault that she doesn't need to do much on screen to be effective. And I looked at this trailer and I thought, Wow, here she is like taking a really big swing, and it looks like it's

really paying off. And I think that I really respect her because I think that she knows that she's someone that the media and you know, young people, especially as social media kind of grew to prominence as she became famous, had a lot of fun with um in ways that

probably were not fun for her. And I examined my behavior and the way I've contributed to that conversation in the past, and I would like to say that I'm excited to see the movie, and I am apologetic about the ways in which I have dragged her in the past. I feel that it was not fair, and I feel I was being childish and immature, and now that I have a little bit more of an experience with it,

I've retracted. Well, this is a very developed, very well thought out response to this big trailer that was a lot of fun to watch, very interesting, and that was that. Yeah,

that thank you for articulating that. I think that's it's really wonderful that you show a lot of growth in your in your perspective shift and kind of the empathy that you found only through kind of your own success, which is really it's you know, at least applaud yourself for that, where now you're in a place where like, oh yeah, now I see that, you know it is. It is interesting how dehumanizing it is when people just

don't think that, you know. It's like it's like the way you talk if you're venting and you're talking shit about someone that you know in your life, but they're not in the room. You take you take big swings.

You're also trying to make your friends laugh. You're like, you know, you're maybe saying things that are more like venomous to get a reaction to be hyper You're being hyperbolic, and you're saying things you don't necessarily fully believe to like, you know, get a reaction and get a point across, make your friends left. But if that person was an earshot,

you wouldn't be talking about them that way. And I feel like that's kind of what the Internet is is people just think that you're out of the room, but really you can go that people can go and then like read the things that you say. But people are

so bold as to like comment on your stuff. That's interesting when people respond to you and like d M s and say ship or like comment on your stuff, and then when you're like, hey, that's like a really weird, mean thing to say, and the backpedal and they're like, oh my gosh, I just never thought you'd read it. It's like commented on. So it's like negative attention seeking behavior.

And that's like I think it's own like illness of social media that people need to be like doing some work on themselves to make sure they're not doing because a lot of people do it and I used to do it. I used to and that's the growth of it all. Is like the growth of it all is that when I first got Twitter in like two thousand nine or two thousand ten maybe when, but it was

it would have been when I discovered Grimes. I used to tweet at her that I was doing this running joke where I would tweet at her every day and be like, reply to me, I need your reply, Please reply to me, and like say be really random, say really random, like fucked up stuff to her, like sexual stuff.

And the implicit thing is that you're like, she would never see this, but the fact, but that's not necessarily and you're doing it as a big And now people do ship like that to me, where they'll reply to everything that I'm doing and I'm like, I see it, and it's just like, oh, this feels like you know this person, I don't they want me to see it, but it's like, what reaction do they think they're going to have. I mean, now I think Grimes is like pure trash. Um. I say all that, and then I'm like,

she's liquid trash. Um. No, I don't like her. I don't like what she's choosing, the life that she's choosing now. And I hope, you know, I hope everything. I hope she comes out of whatever this this phase of her life and thinks about what she's done. Um. But um. Also, I'm just not going to put energy into that. You know, I'm going to keep my amazing tomato soup from California

Chicken Cafe, which does look good. I would feel stupid if I was one of those people that was like like, now as I become more successful, it's like, how fucking dare they drag me? When it's like, you know, like you've done it, Like the real the thing that will make you straight, the thing that will make you fucking straight, is when you have to start applying that level of empathy to every person in the world and in your life.

And only then I'll be when you think about who when you decide, when you decide to have, when you decide to turn that little valve on, and who you don't give that empathy to just because you're being like no, It's like, you know, I bet there's other people who deserve that same empathy that you need to take that skeleton of your logic and then like kind of put it on their situation too. And you know, I don't think a lot of people want to do that, And

I think that's okay. You know, I think people are in a in a tough mental spot right now I'm that way too. I think the place that I'm in right now really hard mentally, is that I loved a big part of joy that I got a big place of joy in my life was making fun of bad stuff, making fun of movies and TV shows that I thought were bad. Um, because that stuff gets crammed down your throat,

especially like really high budget stuff that's bad. It's like, now we're in this like culture vacuum where it's like you can't. It's like everything has to be positive, like you can't. It's like let people enjoy the things they want to enjoy or whatever. And I'm like, well, this is like a corporate like advertising machine and I'm not allowed to have like a criticism of it. It's just like and again, you are allowed to have a criticism of it. It's just like if you're willing to deal

with the pushback or not. But I will say that I felt, you know, unable to talk shit about stuff in the way that I, like I thought was fun too before because yeah, because of like my career and like now I've met some of the people that are in movies that I used to make fun of and and worked on that you never know who produced you're working with, like a producer who has been working in TV for years and like also produced this thing that you think sucks, and so you have to be it's like, oh,

now that I know that person, I don't want to hurt their feeling. Like I now that it's like it's not just being about like, oh I want to save my ass. It's like, oh, this person like put a lot of work into this thing that people really hate. I think they've kind of like you know, endured the

brunt of it. Yeah, but I don't know. I just like, also, I'm not gonna put energy into dictating how other people react to that ship because other people have a lot more anger detachment that they can gleefully, you know, slice someone up about um. But it does change. I think that your level of empathy changes, and I'm like, oh man, I think I kind of have to be nice about everything.

Because the other night I was like drunk with my friend Hillary and we were watching He's All That, and I was making fun of it on Instagram stories, and I got a couple replies of people being like, why are you being so mean to Addison Ray? Like people who didn't follow me too which was like, oh God, and I'm like, I'm not being mean to her. This movie just really sucks. Like this movie is really funny,

and like that's what I'm think. I'm being very clear that I'm like, this is just a stupid array of decisions people have made that all culminate in this piece of like work that it's like so fucking funny, how

stupid and awful it is. And that's like, it doesn't mean that the actors in it are bad or that they're bad people, but I think it does point out that there are a lot of people in the film industry who are pure corporate like business people who get to call creative shots on stuff, and unfortunately they have

notes on stuff. And I wish those people's names were like on the front of the movie and there's kind of tact information so you could fucking let them feel like the ire of people when you don't like serve the community right or something like it's like, yeah, talk to the fucking like finance department or whatever, the business affairs department, who's like being like this character actually is

like their sense of humor is not landing with us. Um, so we're actually going to make this character, Caitlyn Jenner, if that's okay, it's like yeah, and then the and then the people people online see that and they're like, oh my god, Caitlyn Jenner. This is like but it's like the people who are like protecting or concerned about and at someone like Addison Ray, Let's say, like there's a weird like poisoning of the mind to be like what she doesn't need like your protector, Like she doesn't

need you to protect her necessarily either, you know. It's like,

I don't know, it's it's weird. Well I think meanwhile, like people like people like people like us, like we like did not have We were not like now things are different, but we were not always supported by some like infrastructure in terms of like knowing like like we like I don't know, like we like I mean like between the three of us at least, like we really like had to like kind of like you know, like earn our way, earn our keep into like these places

where at And that is that's a different emotional background versus like and this is not to like discount like what these people go, but like someone like I'm gonna say someone like Addison, right, and I don't know what her struggle is necessarily, and she has some of course, but it's like this is a completely different like echelon of like fame or of like being like put forward as someone who like people will like that, Like there's a there's a I don't know, I think there's a

there's a subtle there's there's a more nuanced way to be like not everything has to be like not everything gets to be important. Some things get to be stupid. Yeah, And I think that there is room for humor, you know what I mean. The reason the reason I take, the reason I stop and want to do the thing about Christin Stewart is because I'm thinking about the things I've said her about her, and I think they might

have been just like lazy and like whatever. Like if I went back throughout this entire podcast or my entire life online or whatever and like combed through everything I've said about celebrities, there's no use in doing that because like it's just silly, like because there should be you like that is like there is something to like combing through what we get fed in the entertainment industry and like like calling it out and like making jokes about it.

Like make jokes. I just think I was watching the trailer for Spencer and I was like, oh, I've been like nasty about her, and I think it was like a lazy thing. And it's sort of a thing of like I think we all do it like, you know, like years ago, when we get on this podcast and like make comments about Ellen, it's probably because we thought, well, none of us will ever be actually on her show. We're never gonna actually have to meet her, so what

then who cares if we drag Ellen? Then all of a sudden, it's like you're in the green room and Ellen and she comes and knocks on the door and says, hey, just wanted to say hey before our big interview with no audience, and our teams have talked beforehand to make sure that there's a tease fire because of still like this is some silliness I've said on the podcast Lost

Culture Resta, does you know what I mean. It's just like it's also surreal and funny that we're all even successful at all, because I I think about that all the time. I'm just like wow, like it's really like I'm not I'm not looking at like you know, how my life has changed in the past five six years in the way you're the way both of your lives have changed in the past five six years, and like not not a little bit in awe of it, because

I'm like, wow, like I never thought anything. I just thought I would be like on the Brooklyn podcast forever, you know. And maybe that's why I felt the safety to be like, yeah, Ellen's dicky, I mean, but also ultimately it was funny, So I don't know, it's like an interesting thing to all of a sudden have to deal with that kind of thing, you know what I mean. Well, with all that said, it's gonna be time for boonen Yanks.

I don't think so, honey, Bona you're ready figure out and think so honey, I'm ready, Okay, this is bones. I don't think so honest, time starts now. I don't think so honey, sucking dick. Let's normalize licking balls. Licking balls to be the top of the list. It's easier on the mouth. It's you don't have to do all this crazy stuff. You don't have to like think of it. It's just easier mentally logistically to just like go for

the balls first and then not even touch the damn shaft. Okay, I just want to I just want to work on the balls. I don't want to cartilage. I don't want to touch any cartilage in the penis at all. I just want to work with the scrotum. That's it, and that's all I have to say no, because you know what, balls actually feel more sanitary to me. There's not literal piss coming out of it. Why the hell would you put something with pete coming out of it in your mouth?

You're gonna love it. No, I don't care. I think it's less funky. If it's the balls that p is sterile, you're gonna love it. Clean freaksn't love it. That is fun vile. What you said balls are the worst. I don't want to talk about. I don't want them in They smell. The only reason you go down on somebody like that is to make them come. And if you're not gonna be able to make them come with the balls, why are you gonna put them in your You don't know that. You don't know that you're not gonna be

able to make them come with the balls? Ah? Yeah I do, Yeah, I do. I go up and down on the side like I'm eating corn and then that makes them but then that's a dick still in your mouth, stupid ass. I'm saying I would be open to that, but I just there's something about like I feel like, Damn Kirby, I don't like either. I like, I just feel like I'm sorry that makes me. I feel like I have nothing to offer if I don't like sucking dick that I'm like, wow, no, because I absolutely love

eating ass. Period me too. I love eating ass. But then it sends a mixed signal because they're like, oh, I thought, Oh, I guess is he like, is he like getting me ready? Like I'm like, oh no, no, no, I just like doing this, you know, as I feel like it's sucking I and I like, I like sucking dick. Pick me. I'm a pick me girl. I like dick um, but I think it's more work. And it depends like I don't like sucking a big dick. I don't like that, Like I don't I have a his, I have like

a really small amount. And literally I remember when I was, when I was like thirteen, a dentist, which I wasn't sucking dick then, but this dentist problem was like, oh my gosh, your mouth is so small, and put her fingers in line now and tried to spread my mouth open wider so she could get like this like four step thing in and she split both my lips like because they were also really chapped, because I was always licking my lips trying to get people let me suck

their dicks um, and they never did, and and that's good. They shouldn't. I wasn't in a mentally good place and I wasn't old enough. It sounds like it sounds like she was like a Jennifer Coolidge character, like oh my god, your mouth is so small. She was like, oh my god, it makes me a hot dog round classic. I wait, hirthday,

Happy birthday, Happy birthday. Um No, I just think it's a lot of it's like my jaw hurts if it's like big, and then it's just like it's like if it's if you're trying to It's like there are guys that like like deeps, like going in deep, and I'm like, I don't think that feels good. I don't think it's like not like it's not like nice and soft back there.

It's all like weird and like it's like I think it's just for those the action of like you choking, right, they want to see you tear up a bit, which I'm like, well, honey, I can't really break down the psychology of like two gay men, like the man who's getting head, the gay man who is getting head from another man, what psychologically is happening there versus a like a straight or like queer guy who is getting head

from a trans woman. Like I think there might be a different psychology of like, but I don't know it's all porn. I think it's probably all Any mistreatment you get sexually is probably stemmed in something they saw in a video. Had a guy. I had a guy um a couple of years ago who had a giant dick

who I like literally pulled it. I was like going down on him, and I pulled out for a second to like get hair out of my mouth because my I was like sucking my own hair into my throat, and so I like stopped for a second and turned to like get my hair out of my face. And when I turned back, he had like bent his dick like back, and he like like slingshot and like he like held it back and then he like smacked me in the face with it. Oh yeah, like he like bent it back like like and smacked me in the

fit like on my face with his dick. And I was like, why did you do that? And he was like I wanted to be rough and I thought that you would. I don't know if he thought I don't like that. But it wasn't like, it wasn't sexual trauma. I wasn't afraid he was. It was just any But I was like, you just like doi oiling. Yeah, Looney tuned me fucking to Marvin the Martian like that was

actually like Yoda, but how is truck? But if I did another man Maran, I wrote to the Caitlyn Jenners for Governor of California, and I think that we need a big Traine in this big state. My Caitlyn general is Lauren Michaels. And that's just why I am going to have to accept and I leave it. Lauren general impression is a Lord Michaels impression. Come back here with my show. What is the let's Lauren from TV fund from the TV fun House. Yeah, We're back my show.

It's time, It's wine, money or nine. You didn't know the West corn Rance rates online. Go to the general Stafjong time it's time for the best car insurance rates in town. To the general. Wait, what is it for the West corridorans rates in town? Patty call one night hundred general. No, it's time for I don't think so honey, now Patty Harrison's I don't think so honey. Hard times starts now. Are you get okay? Stop? Are you ready? Okay? Yeah, this is Patty Harrisons. I don't think so on ether

time starts now. I don't think so honey. M hmm. And when people are when people are mad that you didn't get back to them in time, um, and yeah, it's fucking that ship piss me off, you know why, bitch. I'm sorry I cussed so much. I lean on it too much. I lean on custing so much. I won't cust time starting over now, I don't think so, honey. People who get mad at you when you don't get back to them in time? Now, I'm that want one second? No, No,

I don't think so, honey. How much time I have left? Um? Yeah, we're back at one starting out. I don't think so, honey. People who get mad at you when you don't get back to them sometimes I know. No, No, I don't think so, honey. People who get mad at you when you don't get back to them in time. It's like sometimes I want to get back. No, I don't think. I don't think, honey. And that's that was really good giving a chance. I wasn't even giving a chance. Sometimes

people don't even know. You're just getting busy during the day, you know, and you have time to get back to them. Yet well, you didn't even know we're adding to here. I don't think it's nod, she's she's frowning, she's she's what if that's how you find out I have botox? Is that you accept me? I have boats? I gets the secret? So wow, this has been incredible in it was Yeah, I feel like I rambled a lot. No, No,

that's what people were hanging and hang on every word. Okay, I had fun talking to you, but I hope I didn't over I feel like, no, don't do since you've been don't do this. I think I did the Innett bending thing. I drew out the impression to know that was the bit was that we were waiting for it. It was incredible. It was perfect, And then I talked about Alan. I didn't even get into what she really did to me. Well, we'll say that for another episode.

I didn't even get to do what I don't think so, honey, no that Patty, I didn't even get to do. I think this was I think this was a really one of the best episodes. Did imagine? I tell you that one Bowen when we were in Dominican Republic and we went swimming really late one night. It was like one am after we wrapped and Bowen like we're literally sitting there, We're talking about, like what shows we were watching. I

don't know where. Bowen just turns me and he goes, you know, even if I were straight, I would never hook up with you because you're you're you lost too much weight too fast, and it made your skin on your body. You're kind of that skinny fat situation. He said that he has a thing, he has a thing with people that are skinney fat. He's he thinks that he thinks it's a compliment. He says it like a backhand and compliment. Meanwhile, it sounds like he was just

aggressive to you. He said, I don't want to suck you because you're skinny fat. It was. It wasn't. Unprompted, she posed a question to me. She said, Bowen, if you were straight, what would be the first thing you did? And I was like, I don't know what the first thing I would do would be, but I know what I wouldn't do, which is with you, because I have a thing with skinny fat. What is the in seed?

I really hate that because people will be able to like corroborate or whatever the stories because I do ask that question to a lot of guys. I'm trying to turn, asked me, asked me. I'm one of the I'm one of the gayest guys. Try to turn me right now before we go, Matt, if if you had if you had me for two hours alone, and I couldn't say no, she can't say no, that's getting weird. The first thing I would do is I would order chicken palm to

the house. I would watch you eat it, and you would get so I'm not eating, I ate before all of it. I want you to eat every bite and the penney that comes on the side. When you're really full. Listen, when you're really full, I'm gonna have you run around the house out of high speed, and I'm we're gonna wait forty five minutes to the point where probably have to use the bathroom. At that point, yes, I'm gonna

take you in the bedroom. I make you put on chains, chain you to the four post bed, and then I have sex with every one of your full holes. I only have four your mouth first, I'm going to be so full, really tired. You know I can't run for more than about a half hour. Yeah, well you're going to be so tired and full and I'm not gonna let your ship either. I want you to be chock full of palm when I fuck you. We always end

every episode with the song happy Harmonize. We had to harmonize Wait, yeah, I just assume that would take the ha be to Hi me but you Hi. Here we go, horse not in and the whole you can ever sing de jen a books Hi you all right? Bye bye guys. M