"Theater of The Face" (w/ Heidi Gardner)

and said, no sudden movement. She said, try to limit your movements. So Bowen, truly, I mean no, no, no, no, we okay, we're back. We're not We're not here. We are literally being I feel imprisoned. I feel I don't feel good. But it's okay because we're going to as

it's called rally um. And I just want to say, I do want to reveal I am the cause of this because the second you counted three to one down to say, I yanked my own cord completely ignoring the ground rules that were set before me, and that has resulted in us being here at this president moment with only one working headphone. You know, it's it's real and presenting the box, and she's going to try to fix it. Um. But in the meantime, this is where we are now,

says this is my impression of HPM earlier. No sudden movement, she yelled, And you should know that all the hot producers here are also abusive, because that's what happens when you're hot. You treat people very badly. I have no sense of boundaries. You never learn empathy. So um, while she toils away, I have something else to address. I have an important thing to address. You have bad lift etiquette. I'm sorry. What I will tell I will tell you

how you run into the middle of the road. For a while, I wasn't doing absolutely tracking to see where the car was. I was like, I couldn't see our lift driver had like pulled up to the side, and I couldn't see him on the street, and I just wanted I just ducked. I did a little side side step to see if he was on the road in the lane. When do you think I was born yesterday? Stop?

I truly was like, okay, great, and then and then I actually have this is so so so patently false, because I then ran to the left, opened the door, said Hi, Bowen, I have a friend coming in, so please don't drive. I'm actually not even done. Okay, so and maybe this is a little bit of it. I don't think so, honey, right off the fucking top. Okay. You run into the road, and you've been doing it even when we were in Los Angeles. You run into the road, and you can tell the Los Angeles drivers

are like, hey, you don't need to do that. Here, it's chill, it's l a and you will run into the road and you'll you'll endanger yourself and me. And then now let me get to my second part or the or the b portion of the argument. When you open the door to get in the car, you don't get in one leg at a time. You crawl over the seat. You Bowe and Yang are a seed crawling. I'm in shorts and my might I want my knees

to hit the upholstery. The last colt racist listeners have to chime in on this because we have to know what crawl and your knees are all over the sea. Damn. Why is that bad? It is so bad because it's like not how you get in the car. You get at a time and you never put anything, nothing except your butt should be on the seat. Damn no, bird, I can do. There's nothing on hygienic about my knees going on. It's not about on hygienic. It's it's that. I don't know, it's it's not it's not done. It's

not done that. Okay. I don't know what they taught you at the fucking Long Island Debutante ball that you we don't have those, yeah, they and they tell you, oh, don't put your don't put your butt on the seats. No, we don't go over that there. We only go over what kind of alcohol to drink in? What water bottles? That's what That's what I learned how to get in the car the old fashioned way watching my mother and father, Thank you who said in a really good example for namorative,

including all the older cousins I watched. I would watch my older cousin Jesse get in the car, and I would say, Okay, I've learned, and here you are. I don't know who the funk you've been following into vehicles, but I know you climbed all over the seat frequently. Your shoes do do Oh we're back, and it because of me because I I oh, I was turning the jack. Okay, sorry, all I'm saying is bone yang. You're running into the road afterlift. You are crawling all over the seats. It's

questionable behavior. You know, who isn't questionable without a questions, without question A hot person who is not abusive. No, this person has never struck me or threatened to strike me. So if they wanted to, I would allow they wanted to, I would allow. Yeah, this is a person that could hurt me truly physically. I think about her, My soul gets lighter. We can I say, yeah, it's a joyful presence. And you two have such a deep connection. We have

achieved connection spiritually spiritually. Well, we met do it at JFL. We were the same year at JFL. And you can tell this is the energy of this person. You have an interaction with this person and then you walk away and you turn around and you go, wait, there was something there, There is something there, And you have to understand the presence of a star. And so when you meet this person and exchange is so damn good, damn good,

and then you hear they go onto great success. You say, well, I'm not surprised and then when you watch their performance on a Saturday Night Live and you see them slay, you say, well, that's because there was something about that person thing And I wasn't the only person that thought it. Lauren Michael's also thought. You think, yes, damn you think, damn bird, damn bird. I really love her so much. What's it like to share a space with her? We don't share face, but but you mean, just like the

offense the colleagues that were such lovely colleagues. She and I have written some things that haven't seen the light of day for good reason. I guess, well, really don't know that we love our guests so much. A talented, talented comedian, and you should welcome into your an incredible actress, Heidie Gardner. That was you we were talking about. I'm blessing, No you are? You are so nice. Didn't you feel that we had a vibe at JFL. We did have like instant just like you. And then I met your

incredibly dear family. O God, my husband was there and our best friend Rob who also immediately were like, we like him. Well, have you met the mother Heidie's mom? Have I met your mom? I don't think why is your mom and icon, and I con if they're every fucking was one icon? Where's her sunglasses at night? My entire life? And she says also walking down the aisle at my wedding, I thought, I'm not going to have to have that discussion. She'll know you don't wear the

sunglasses down the aisle. And then as I'm going through wedding photos, I'm like she would didn't know she know because I was in the back. What happens at weddings as they come out last, I'm glaring at you needs to know better. But she I met her at an after and she it was so so such an energizing presence,

her brag to Bowen, so she was full sparkle. She had a sparkly dress on, sparkly tight, sparkly boots, and Bowen and everyone else who was so kind to her at the after party, like the immediate thing they said was like, oh my god, you look great, because she really did. She stunning and she let everyone know. Hold outfit five dollars like H and M dollar, dress dollar, general type dollar. Every piece was like a dollar. Yes, holy shit. It wasn't even a Warner, not a Warner.

It was where is she living now because where she shopping. She's in Kansas City. I actually just got a text from her that I feel like you guys would love it was. It was an iconic test. She was at America's Best um, which is like a lens crafter is getting new lens her glasses. The first text was she saw a glasses case that had a kitten on it that looked like my cat, cubbybar. So she's like, honey, it's cheap, I'll buy it for you. I was like,

I would love it, Thank you, mom. And then she said, also, honey, you know I'm a bragger. Percent of the people working at America's Best know who you are? And who were those super said that she didn't need to go back. She got to them. I just don't think I know who. So she was checking to see that they knew she wasn't informing that, and she ran the damn numbers. She rarely didn't number. She crunched the figures. She crunched the figures to get what is her name? Her first name, Ernie?

Come on, Heidie know Heidie's life. How do he has people with people in pets with incredible names. I want to say Tweaky. Tweaky is her cat, and then her husband Zap. My other cat Marshall. Marshall. Marshall is a good cat name. Now is tweaky name tweaky because it's a tweaky cat. Okay, a tweaker. It's kind of like how a white cat would be named vanilla. Yeah, but yours is better because it's a personality thing. Yeah, who wants to be named based on the color of their fur?

I want a tweaky cat, but tweakies probably speaking hard to deal with sometimes because I remember, remember when you moved her to New York, she did act like a baby. Like we were up at night with her. She was just so confused new place and up eleven floors rather than and so she cried all night like I don't have kids. This is going to sound very lame, but I felt like, oh, this is how it feels, because I would get up and I would take her into the living room and sit with her, which is exactly

like mother. Well, I have an announcement. I don't know the cat. The cat culture is difficult, I think because they don't listen like dogs, you know what I mean? Dogs, I feel are like the guy I'm dating now has a dog and it's like, um, really, she's the only one and a half and so she's sort of all over the place, but you will tell her what to

do and she'll eventually get it. Whereas a cat, I think is just kind of like I don't know what it is about their personality where they're a little bit bitchy, but like they just kind of do what they do. And the cat, the cat's personality, it's kind of like you buy the cat, it's cute, you get the personality that you get, you know what I mean. Speaking of pets, Speaking of pets, any pets on the horizon for you

in your new place. Oh, I don't think so. I think like, um, well, it's interesting because are are all our friends, all of our friends. Well, Stephen just got a cat. Oh, such a cute cat. I'm not a cat person, but that tweaky and this new cat that will got cute, cute, cute. But I feel like it's

so hard to it's so hard to have a pet. Yeah, when your schedule is demanding, when you're working that When I hear that anyone that can resist getting a pet, I'm like, wow, you have good boundaries and self control.

I'm thinking the grass is always greener because I'm like anyone who can have a pet, like you have such good responsibility and you have got to be such a good sense of like whatever task management and like I could never I'm so like I'm such a hedonistic like blob when I'm not work that I'm just like I wanted to sit here and not have to think about anything else. Yeah, I want to have a dog eventually. Yeah, but you do love to ask the question who is it for? Is it for the animal or is it

for you? And tweaky sounds Tweakie lives a great life and Marshall, they really do a full life, really a full life with adventures and lots of food and everything like that. Yeah, do you have anything in the Do you have lots of toys for the animals? Yes, we have, Like there's this classic actually I just told Will about this because he has his new kitten. The classic like

best cat toy is called dub bird Bird. So when you look for it, um and it's just one of those ones where you it's like a handle and then I'm the bird hangs down from it. But like that, like that sort of wire with the thing on the end, and you go like that like you like a fishing pole with with with the bird that's just like a big bird. It's just feathers. It doesn't really look like a bird, but you know, they think it does. They

love that. And then but also sometimes like the other day, I took just a ribbon that I had line around and I m took one of their just mice on the floor, fake stuffed ones, and I tied the nousi's tail to the ribbon and made my own toy. And they're super into it. Yes, I think maker, toy maker, there will be no more toymakers for the King from It's from Did you watch Christmas specials when you were a kid? Like I believe it's from God. It's from

one of those claimation things. Okay. Sometimes I'll like say, like even Rudolph, Yeah, you guys watch Rudolf when you're I think it's because I'm dating a Jewish man. I was like, you know this reference Rudolf and he's like, no, oh, and you think that's because he's Jewish that he doesn't know. Yeah, that's a Christmas special okay. And he was one of

those I don't know. See, the thing is like, I'm from a culture where it's like I'm from I'm from a culture of Long Island where it's like pretty much everyone is like even like Jewish people that I knew were like, yes, we do Christmas because it's Long Island culture. But then I talk to people and they're like, no, I don't know any Christmas things. It's not part of my guy's Flora Florida, which is Florida jew And yeah, I think I don't know exactly, like because I have

then I think about it. I have no foreign of reference for any like Nica stuff, you know what I mean? Do you have a Christmas? Are you a Christmas girl? Yes?

Christmas girl? And also when I hear that, like in Jewish culture not doing Christmas obviously because it's not part of it, but I also see that as really good boundaries and self controls, because it's like if you because it feels like if you could, even though it's not like why not there were a I remember I did have some Jewish friends growing up who were like, we also do Christmas, and it's like yeah, interesting, and I thought that I honestly grew up thinking like, well, even

if it's not your thing. Everyone does Christmas, Christmas like you right, such Christmas is such a like a ror shock test for people because at least in terms of like upbringing, because I know I know someone who like was in such a religious family, such a religious Christian family,

that they didn't celebrate Christmas. Does that make sense? Because the image because because Christmas takes away from the religion of it all exactly, it's it's it's it loops back around and be it being so secular that like they can't touch it, yes, or you have like the Christians who love like or you have like the people who are so like into Christmas for all the holy reasons and the people who like are into Christmas for the secular reason. It's like it's like it's there are so

many different ways to come in on it. And they see Mariah carry stomp in and they say, I don't think so honey. For me. You know what, I think? Christmas changes year to year for me, either, like two years ago, I remember I was total Scrooge, hated it. Last year, I loved it. Three years ago I didn't care, Like it's Christmas is weird. I like it every year from no, not from a relige fam And so Christmas is about president, Yeah, it's about presence and Maria and Maria.

I mean I was so I was like that little kid that would um get up in the middle of the night and unwrap the ones that my like my mammal vampos and then tape it back up. So they knew that me and my older brother were doing that, So then they would do early Christmas presents like we were disgusting. So you were so badly behaved that they were like, we can't even enjoy this press early early Christmas presents on top of regular Christmas presents. Wow, I

guess that's presents. Were you a Santa hunter? A Santa hunter? Like, like, were you up being like tonight tonight? Oh? Yeah, yeah for sure. I remember one time I was gonna get Santa, Like I fully stayed up all night and I was like tonight stuff to night. And I remember my grandmother

was over and I heard her say something. And spoiler alert for anyone who's listening to this podcast who thinks that in a world where Santa is just a spoiler alert, we're going to spoil the fact that Santa's not real thank you. So I went down and was like peering around my balcony and my grandmother said to my dad, what a busy Santa you've been, And I was like, gotchat.

She so they knew you were gonna get up. It was four in the morning and she said it to my father because he was bringing in the gifts, and she said, oh, what a busy Santa you've been. And I literally remember being like, I got what I came for. I went back to bed. It sounds like your grandma was flirting with your dad. Yea she was. She was like, Santa, I saw Grandma kissing Dad out of the equation. Now

this is embarrassing. But I wish, full on if I had three wishes that Santa was real, and I thought, I think about this a lot, so he could. That would be what is going on the whole year? Is it genuinely like if Santa is really like, is he like literally like doing research on every kid in America, being like, Okay, this person is not getting gives, this person is in in the middle of my list, like what's

his life? Or it's one of those things where he just has to decompress three sixty or four days out of the year, which is just like it's so much work in one night. He would be busy if he was giving, and I don't think he would be. I think every kid gets present. I don't think he would be doing because even if you're bad, you deserve a present anything. But I think making seeing what every single kid in the whole entire world is doing, what you

would need you need. There's a lot of work that you would need the whole year, and also probably you would have a lot of people working for you too, Like the Elves, I think it would be less making toys and memorabilia and more just like assisting, like kind of like being like like a like an assistant role or like you know, like a managerial clerical clerical. Really

what they do is a lot of like spreadsheets. Yeah, yes, yes, yes, Honestly, you need some people that are like some meteorologist types to make sure that we're mapping out a travel plant. There's so much that goes into it. I will say just I mean, Heidi that that's such a nice idea if Santa were real. But I feel like if you were to bring stand into this world, you would be

creating a life. You'd be creating a man who is who suffers so much, and would you feel comfortable bringing into the world a man who's only purpose is to make other people happy? Like I don't. I don't. I wouldn't live I couldn't live with that. But if that made him happy, I mean honestly, yeah, But this will sound cheesy, but I mean like when you make a kid's smile or when you give a kid a get

For real, though I love to watch Bowen, doesn't. He's a kind of pitch who doesn't like when a kid smiles. He won't even get a pet. He won't even get a pet. You have to understand he's operating in a different wave line. My thing is like, I'm wondering what I would be comfortable with Santa making per year. Probably it's a seven figure situation. I mean, I'm gonna think maybe even like eight figures, like he might be making

ten millions. Santa has to be like a trillionaire in order for us to like, for him to be so untouchable and like like he like, there's no way that he will ever like Amazon, Jeff Bezos, Disney, Bob Iger and the North Pole, Santa, Okay and the North Pole is like the corporation. I think, honestly, if we're going to name the LLCI, probably be something called North Pole LLC ho ho ho llse. And what's Mrs Claus doing? Is she just like posted up or is she involved?

She's the first Lady? Yeah, she's running things too, I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean it's a lot of work. Like the first Lady, she probably need like a platform like the best Let's move, Let's move, yeah, I think. Um. I think this is probably like really in depth discussion about Santa more the more so than move than I've ever had in my whole life. And to bravely have this conversation without it even being the Christmas season, it's really brave and it's important.

Is that your favorite holiday? Christ I really like Thanksgiving to why you do enjoy the food? The food in the weather. Okay, the weather is pretty good, but I just can't be doing turkey. I mean not even the turkey. It's about you insides and just massive amounts. Yeah, see number one. I don't know. I think Christmas is my number one holiday because I don't like Halloween. M because I feel like we dress up enough. Oh yeah, don't you feel like Halloween doesn't excite you because you always

get to wear a different wig. That's true, and it's never it's just never that it's like the New Year's for me, it's like you've I have done so many costumes that I thought would be a hit, yeah, and just nothing nothing, and then then like you show up and like you're uncomfortable. That's the thing about Halloween too, is it's like it's never a comfortable customers. Sometimes I'll just like dress up as as something shitty because I wanted to wear good clothes, you know what I mean,

Like I wanted to be comfortable. I want to know one like, but then you have to look hot. When you were single, did you feel the pressure to look hot on Halloween or after you were single or after? I know, I think I was never like vulnerable enough to really like be like this is what I want, Like I'll just I was just like it would be funny, I know, even but you also do that thing where you're like funny, like like my friend and I were like sig Free and Roy and the Tiger, you know

and the Tiger. But I was like, so I'll be funny, but I'll like do really keep cat make up, like the blood will be cute. You know. It was just like, yeah, just go for it if that's what you want. I love that Halloween. Halloween is to me, honestly. New Year's Eve is a dress up holiday too, in terms of costume, I think, because you can just go out wearing like a little crown or wearing like some funky glasses and everyone's just like, oh, it's it's it's New Year's Eve.

Let them, but you are in dragon a costume. And also New Year's Eve there comes a point which is the most exciting and then everyone knows to leave, whereas Halloween is just sort of like dirt ended and it depends depending on what day of the week it falls on, like you don't know what knights to go on. That's the whole thing, too, Sure, that's the whole thing. That's the whole thing too. You know. I heard they do Halloween very well in l oh Like I heard like

like Cinta Monica Bulevard is pretty fun. Yeah. So that's though where I had So I had a year for that parade which is just huge where I was like I am going to kill it. Was like Lady Gaga was like two years into being famous, so like big and again rather than just being Lady Gaga because I was like that's like too cool and pretty. I was like, I'm going to do something funny. So I was Lady gal Ger, the comedian that would like hit. So it was like a myth Matt. It was like both things.

I had the mallet and like the mustache, but I had the hair and I was like, Oh, this parade is going to love me. What is this? I dared my husband zeb and our friend to as a joke because I was like, you guys are going to fall on your faces at this parade. Will you please be the Matrix Twins? Remember, because it was like nine years later and I'm like, you're gonna get aft off the blocks and a Monica. They were the hits, Like I'm not men women throwing themselves at the Twins, the twins.

It was your idea, it was my idea, but I wanted I thought they were going to get made fun of. They were the hit. I mean they were going into secret room like off barber shops like that. They were like they were for sure sex rooms and stuff and like no one, no one commented on my costume. No one got it, no one. Yeah. And then that my other friend Austin Head, I had helped him put together his costume, which was John trabol different Battlefield Earth, which

looked incredible too, and one person commented on it. It was all the twins. It was Zeven who Zeven our friend Brad Yeah give about Halloween or maybe likes it now. The year before this is so bad. I made zebby Dr Evil also to be made fun of. And and that one he um did his own makeup and did his own balled cap and it was he did not come close to Dr Evil. He just looked so sick

like and he almost didn't go out. Wow. Honestly, as Dr Evil is funny, it's like it's timeless time you have had some really hit or miss Halloween's Matthew had judged me the last year, absolutely dug. Last year you did Gay Jackson Maine. Yeah, it was so stupid. It was like I had no It literally was just like I wore this wig that looked like Bradley Cooper that I had I did not look That was the only part of the costume it was good. And then you

were like black a black lace top. You were eyelinder and a cowboy at that was Jacks and Maine looked

really really good from the from the head up. I thought the thing with me, like, it's like if everyone I'm going to do the gay anything to do my makeup ever, but what I do with eyeliner is so stupid, Like I just I like a raccoon every single time because I don't understand that you just do the top like I always give myself like a and I'm just like, because I really want to achieve my makeup goals, which is the smoky eye. I just want to be able

to apply my own smoky eye. And I wanted to be like really start like Kelly Clarkson in the Breakaway era. You know what I'm saying. The number one smoky eye of all time was Reese Witherspoon at the two thousand seven Oscars when she wore that like dusty purple dress and she had like this perfect smoky eye to match. I love a smoky eye anyway. I love it too, but it doesn't work on everyone. I know. That's what I think that it should, and that might be what's

going on. I think, you know what it is. My eyebrowser too. No no, no, but that doesn't thank you, but that they are so thick. So it's like the smoky eye is like not gonna well for you. It's different because your your eyebrowser arch, your brow bone is arched. Is such a deep cliff over your eyelids maybe like it's so it juts out so far in a good way. You're saying, I have a deep cliff. I'm saying like you have, you have a deep cliff into your eyelid,

So that might be part of it. Like the light there's a shadow that's being casted down onto the eyes that it blocks obscures the smoky and you think that you could pull off a better smoky I definitely can. You know. You know what I can't pull off is a cat I because I love a cat any eyeliner. I go like get sucked up into my eye liked because of my almond and it's just like, what's my albond diet. It's like the Asian instead, it's like a it's like a nice PC way of saying, like small

eyes for Asian people, almond die. I was gonna say, um, I do want to talk about makeup hold on, but I have to document. I think Matt, what you do is your Halloween costumes have been they character day off, but characters that you made up that day where you'll be like I'm like I was one time five years ago,

I was like who are you? And you were like, I'm the sexy secretariat where her name is Gina or yeah, one time I just like dressed up as a woman, put on a busted wig and like got drunk and I was like, I'm I'm the fuck up secretary at the party, Gina. And then everyone was like what's and that she had like a full character game, um, which was that um, she was daring people to throw drinks

on her. And then and then my friend Luke did throw a wax candle on me, and I actually, to be honest with you, do you want to know whose dress I was wearing that it was ruined sy Greens? Really it was Suddy Green's quote unquote good black dress that I used for costumes. And our friend what she did, she wore it. I remember she wore she played Joan from Mad Menino sketch one time that we were doing and she she used to wear that dress and I was like, can I wear this tonight? And she's like, yeah,

I just don't ruin it. And then my friend Luke through wax on it and the text that she sent him afterwards was historic. What did she say? She was like, I don't understand why you would do this, and I was like okay, and then I was like, she was like, you'll pay for the dress, And this is what I'm in to reveal right now. The dress was like fifteen dollars and I think he paid like seventy bucks. So

she scammed his ass. She scammed his ask down to his ask like dry cleaning bill, or she asked for many to I mean, I can tell you that the dress is still ruined and was never replaced. It's like probably at the bottom of a prop bag that I still have. But honestly that that costume was a fail, if only for its tragic ending. But I have had some good ones. I was also your husband who's having an affair at work, and I just like wore a white button down and loosened it and had like lipstick

on my collar. Easy easy. I gave it to you public domain easy. And then I was Jason Stackhouse one time in blood era did you watch True Blood? No? But I think I can see you in my head. Yeah yeah, maybe you can. I was like, white trash, you can, you can see. But what do you want to say about makeup? I'm starting to wear a little bit of it. I'm not wearing today, but I can't

put highlighter on. Sometimes I'll put it. I'll put a little highlight on, put a damn put some damn concealer on, maybe even put some setting powder, just to like let it all, let it all, let it all, likee makeup queen. And I'm just I'm thinking, like how does that get passed down to you? Like, like how do you like, how do you learn it? Except from the video? I guess like how did people just learn it before? How did you learn makeup? I think it was a little

bit watching my mom, a little bit playing around. I don't know, you just start see that's you know, It's like when you when people are able to pick up a guitar and just play, you know, those infuriating people are those people music I'm saying, but with makeup, like some people can just be like m I'm gonna just play around and they do something incredible to their face while like a raccoon. Every time I do it, I will say the cutest thing I've ever seen is a

few years ago. I was home my brother and sister in law is UM, just over the holidays, and they

have daughters who had friends over. So there were probably like six girls there that were like under the age of seven, and I like went into the other room to get ready for dinner and I sat in front of like I think I asked to use one of my niece's mirrors, So I sat in front of her mirror and I was like, I'm just going to do my makeup, and these little tiny's all gathered around me and just watched me do my makeup like they were watching TV. And I was right, like a little and

there's makeup involved. They were just like they just want to transfix. Yes, very cute. I remember being enamored with it too. Maybe it's like a thing because I remember watching my mom like that was actually a part of UM. I think it was other people, like just him sitting in the room while his mother did the makeup Like that really struck me, like just remembering what it was to be like like younger and like your mom doing

her makeup and are doing her hair. My mom had a salon in our house, like a little hair sung because she worked out of the house, so it's like truly a room for my hair, a little gay boy's dream. But I would watch her hair all the time, in her makeup all the time. It's it's a thing. It is like it's like theater. Did you ever reach in either of the face duter of the face? Did you ever reach into title that? Did you ever reach into your mom's makeup stuff? I would I never the makeup

stuffed out. I've blacked out moments where I and like it's slowly coming back to me now truly as we're talking about this is I would like reach under like the sink in my mom's bathroom and just like grab her makeup kit and like put it on. And I think, like, I don't know, I try not to take too much so that she would notice, but I would like put lipstick on and like put like eyeshadow on, and it was well, she probably knows how much. She definitely knows.

Like for her, it's like this. For her, I think it was like this chilling thing. But for me it was like but also like fun, I don't know, Yeah, cute, cute. I would do so on Sunday and you know my mom and we're talking about, you know, such a presence of a woman. Um, on Sundays, I would just ask, can I go into your room? And so she would let me have the entire day in her room. And she used to have like, you know, like those old

hat boxes, those beautiful ones. So she had like six of those stacked up that all had old beautiful hats with like the the lace like you know, in feathers. She had her whole top drawer was costume jewelry of my grandma's and then she used to wear like the mini velvet dresses with Ryan stones and billerro jackets and she had those like lingerie heels with the Ostrich feathers. So Sunday's just hours dress up with that stuff. I was going to ask if you were like a dress

up kid, yeah, but with adult mother clothing. Yeah, I mean, honestly, that's some of the best costumes you can ever find. Like, I've never experienced any garment like my mother had this, Like um, I wore in this web speri as that did it called Broadway Aunts where we played like these aunts from Long Island who loved Broadway, who didn't have kids, but they loved theater. So my mom had this like truly like head to tell pants suit that was leopard print,

and I'm like, where did you wear this? But it was truly like Florida ceiling, like leopard, leopard, leopard. And then she had a lot of cheetah and leopard stuff, which is like, that's huge, that's costume. Yes, I mean the thing is like, I just I wish there were more wigs around the house because I used to take the towels from I used to take a towel and put it in my back of my shirt and I

would pretend it was hair. Oh this is like we were literally talking on the way over here, like bone read a study about how being gay is not necessarily genetic, like there are environmental factors. So the fact there were a lot of towels around, of course I was going to think they could be my hair, so I put it.

I would put this the hair in my back. I would say my name was Tina, and I would run around the yard because I saw a contestant on Legends of the Hidden Temple named Tina and I thought she was my icon. So then I was Tina and I would run around and my mom would be like, he's pretended to be a superhero. He deended to be Superman to like everyone, They're like, what's he doing? And they were like, oh, he's a superhero. Run up and I'd

be like, I'm Tina, superhero and Tina. And then my mom said she asked like this is so early nineties, but like she asked the doctor, like what what this could be? And the doctor was like, it means he's very smart. It means he's willing to take on different i alter egos and identities. It means he's curious about the world. And she's like, okay, cool. They're like, yeah, wow, I'm Tina. Tina. I went the other way where I would put on a hat and this is this is

a little too hetero. Even I would put on a hat and be like I'm the dark Lord the Dark Sundays at Chinese people. No, no, no, But it was it was like me like making sure the other the younger kids were having fun, and I would like I was the dark Lord and these and these kids were like worries you had to kill me and I know, but it was so funny. I was still your own design.

This is of my owners. I would I would like large with these kids when I was like ten years old with these like five year olds for at the Chinese school. I was ten, and they would have to chase me and like kill me like their mystical swords. Did they kill you every time? Yes? And they were like and they loved it. You have to go see when you are the dark Lord telling them you have to kill me and allowing them to kill you every

time is very Meanwhile, I am Tina. You are Tina. Wow, Tina and the dark Lord Tina and the dark Lighty. If you could, if you can think of a childhood alter ego you had, who would that be? Oh my god, a childhood alter ego. You know. I had this gymnastics teacher and her name was Jennifer and so I was probably nine and she was twenty and then bleach blonde, natural blonde, I want to say bleach. She didn't have

to die and she came that way. The highest ponytail in the world was still wearing it to the side leotard's jean jackets, and she freaking Jennifer twenty year old gymnastic teacher, total dream girl babe came to my fourth grade birthday party. And now and now, imagine that you were a twenty year old girl going to a first grader's birthday party. It's like you think in your life, like, wow, that was so amazing. When Jennifer came, she was a twenty year o algod. She had a high pony and

she came to my birthday at fourth grade. And then you're like, what, I think there's enough eleven? Is enough of an age difference there? Or ten? Like is enough of an age difference where we're it's weird. It's weird if it's a twenty year old showing up to a fourteen year olds party. I disagree. I can see them being friends. Maybe they were friends, like maybe they were on the same like, Jennifer, where are you if you're listening?

She just knew it would mean a lot to me, and that is did and you remembered it to this day or hear and my dad at something I don't know now, that's the first time that ever hit me. But oh my god, she was Okay. We got Tina the Dark Lord and Jennifer Jennifer could be one of your characters. The twenty year old who was at the fourth fourth grade as birthday party one of your characters. One of your characters that could be. I feel like

I'm literally like like that old aunt. That's like that should be when you're act you should do that one. That's a sketch. Good, that's a sketch. I can't believe. Well, not the birth of but I saw it before everyone else. Your characters you have made iconic on the SNL Bailey, such as No the Boxer's girlfriends. Oh my god, I did I said that before everyone else. I said, this is a damn good character. Was that based on Amy Adams? It was based on all of them, Rachel McAdams and Southpaw,

Amy Adams, You forget about Rachel McAdams and South Paw. Yeah, which was almost better dialogue than Amy Adams And really, what what is what? She literally is like that? Mackenzie? Yeah, I think that Rachel McAdams is the one that like flat out says like I'm the fighter, like I find a family or something like. That was the thing that first game watching the Previo that gave me the like, wait a second, that sounds a lot like Adam. No,

it is such a it's a good observation. And but I will say, doesn't it Rachel McAdams get it in that movie? I believe she gets spoiler alert gunned down. Oh no, that's like a crazy part of the movie. In the beginning, it's like something like something like someone that doesn't like Jack Jelan Hall shows up and there's like a there's gunfire and Rachel McAdams like unfortunately passes away and it's brutal. You don't kill off Rachel McAdams.

You can't. Well that's exactly why you do, because people say you can't. And then when then that's the secret. It's kind of like remember in Dark Night when Maggie Jillan Hall blew up. I can't believe that. I would never believe, never would have guessed like that one I could see. Really, yeah, I don't think we loved her. Well, no, I don't think anyone loved Rachel Dawes which character the name, character, character's name. But it was just shocking to me that

I had never seen a movie like that. Like I remember I was watching with my best friend from high school, Loureen, and I turned to her in shock, and she said to me, I just gained so much respect for this movie. They allowed Maggie to blow up because I think, like, honestly, honestly, I think that watching No, I kind of get what she was saying. I agreed. I was like, yeah, because the thing is like, you would never kill off this character because it's too like a subversion. It's a subversion

that we hadn't seen before. And she was like, Wow, Now I truly believe that anything could happened because they did that, because no superhero movie is like, you know, spider Man wasn't gonna kill Curston dunst right, which is probably why they didn't go with Gwen Stacy. They had she played Mary Jane because Gwen Stacy famously dies in the comic books? Are you a comic book, Queen? I'm not, um my husband zeb he writes for Marvel, So he's a comic book. That is he's a Componqueen. That is

such a cool fucking job. It is a cool job. Yes, yeah, he wrote for them like ten years ago, then like took a break and now he's writing there again, and you can tell he's um, he's excited. I literally now I'm thinking about like with all the Marvels. It feels like Marvel is still everywhere, and I'm kind of like now I feel like we're at this point where it's like, are you gonna submit and actually like know what everything is or are you going to be like, I can't

do this. It's so much stuff. I mean, it's all it's very excessive. Like you literally could just like download the app on your phone and buy like old issues and volumes and like read through like Ultimate Avengers and be like I know everything about what are the Eternals. The Eternals are a race of being aliens, right for aliens who are like supposed to find I don't know, so you know this is like the new Avengers is the Eternals. And Angelian and Julie isn't it blonde? Oh?

Speaking of wigs, we've seen we've seen like a still and she is blonde. And I believe it's the first time that angel and Julie has been blonde since life or something like it. WHOA remember that movie was that after that was after Go Interrupted? It was like right around that time, but they were like she was it was like sort of like a romantic comedy, I guess.

And she had blonde hair, and I think she played like someone who who thought she was going to die in twenty four hours or something and then doesn't someone checked this fact like fact checked this and wrote it. And do you read that? What she blonde and gone in sixty seconds to she was blonde with dreads? Wow? But I don't know did that come? It had to be after John in sixty Seconds feels like a movie that you're like, yeah, I want an Oscar? What do

I say? I guess, Like you know that period of time after you win an Oscar, we all know where it's just like what you're gonna do now? Huh? And it's like halle Berry is kind of not really like popped off in the way like some people have an after Oscar's curse. This is what Hollywood says where it takes. It's a few year period of like weirdness before you figure out like where you fit in still like you win the Oscar and you think, oh wow, every opportunity

is mine. The thing about having every opportunity is you can choose the wrong one, or you can say too many times exactly because you're looking for the next thing. And then also you could just look at it like, oh wait, that was the opportunity, like that was it and you and you did it and quit. Quit. I wonder quit. I wonder what it feels like the day after you win an Oscar, because there's like those months of lead up where they do all the press and like you know you're gonna be up for it, and

then you win. That moment has to feel like euphoric, and then the next day is like what it's probably just like a come doown of like a drug or something, just like like I don't know, you're just kind of a white slate for like two days or something. I don't know. I think I'd be happy every day if I want an Oscar, I'd just be like, well I wanted that's the that's the thing. You think it's going to make you happy. But that's the whole secret of

Hollywood that nothing does. Nothing makes you happy, you know, they said in Wicked, because getting your dream it's strange, but it seems a little well complicated, and no true words have ever been so actually no, And you cut off too quick because the next lyrics are there's a kind of a sort of cost there's a couple of things get lost. They're are Bridge and you girls, you didn't know you Cross? Tell you Cross? Are you familiar

with Wicked? I am? I fully thought at the end of the first act the show was over, and when I was told there was going to be another act, thought, defying gravity is as it is as big as it cats. That is so coming from out of town to see a Broadway show like, oh that was great and they say, well, Act two is just going to begin in ten minutes, and You're like, what come on? We went we were in we were in Fire Island and um we we

went off on this riffle school. I was there and he was like, we were talking about how Countess Luanna is going to do Chicago on Broadway. So this is like happening and the thing is like we were like, like what who is she drawing in? Like are people from out of town coming into sea Countess Luanna? And

I thought maybe? But then I thought about like those dads that like come to see like, um, like you need like authentic New York things, and they like they would want to come to like New York, Like I don't want to see Countess Luanna. I want to see a New York character actress up there. I want to see a union woman up there acting her hard out.

I've come to New York for the good New York pizza, to see New York character actors just really stop the boards, get up there and work hard for it decade they're harder and equity cards. I want to see them raise them high. Suburban Dad saying, yeah, just like you got to go to New York for the for the unknown actors.

So I mean Countess land Like works. I think in that what I'm saying like like she's like a celebrity, She's not like she's the draw for some person, like some type of like you know, people from the from the bourbs who are coming in to see Countess and she stands for she stands for like some really like rarefied thing in New York where it's great. We get to breathe the same error as her, for like yes a night Yeah, And while we're breathing in the same

arras shiety. You have to ask the question, Heidi, what was the culture that made you say culture is for me? Is the formative culture that made you want to move into a cultural direction? I think I mean I was such a little pop culture little geek that um or a comedy little nerd thing that I think I would say it was like a miss smash of um waiting for Guffman and Jack Black Black hand in hand together. I think Jack Black is culture. It really is. And he,

I have to say, is being copied by someone. Do you know who? I'm gonna say, I love him, But Adam Divine is doing a little bit, a little bit, you know what I mean, more sanitized. And that's not

to say like no, it's worse or better. No, it's just saying he's obviously an admirer of Jack pleas I will say yes when when Adam Divine like the first Workaholics, I was like the way he was delivering lines was like it was killing me in the way that like same like the flare that they put on the end of wine, kind of like I don't even know how to do it, but it's like it is like it's like a specific pattern that's like and this is not a shade to Adam Divine, but like you can tell

he was like Jack Black was like a thing friend um. But like School of Rock is my I think one of my favorite movies of all pod Oh yeah, oh, I mean I was like a little I was Tenacious D like GROUPY. I used to like travel two shows to see Tenacious I loved them so much. O, my god, they were pretty amazing. They were I I liked they

even like broke through to me. I like try to put up every shield and be like, no, this is not for me when I was like a teenager and I was like, oh, but this is actually very good. They are very good. I'm hilarious and incredible songwriting singing. Yes, it really was great. And also just like Tribute is like a ride, there's nothing like Tribute and wonder if you listen to that again, it's like epic. It's like, so they had movies to write, like Take of Destiny

or whatever. Right, Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen any of me neither, But didn't they have like a moment like a few years ago where they were like they were back or they back now, they are back, now, they're touring now. They were just in my hometown, Kansas City on my birthday, but I couldn't go to it. I so just being a super fan back at that time. Of course I met him, um like like a concert, yeah, but you know and like could barely formed, Like so

everything you do is funny. He's amazing now And also that's like this is like sometimes I think we were just talking about oscars, Like I always think like you should nominate people for performances that no else could give. Is something that no one no one, like it's like on the same level. Is like um just like say like Jim Carrey, like a spe no one else could

be that like vulnerable like and also that funny. Like it's just like that should get the Ultimate Ultimate Awards, just for for the kind of iconography that is, like that scene where he is where they're like, well, what would your song be? Like they're learning their regular there's something they're going to do, and he's like saying, and he is that. There's that long segment where he's like pitching them his song and then this would come in,

then this would come in, and one shot. It's so good and to act with kids that whole time and like be on the same level and like he's the audience but also they are and he's the funny thing, but the kids are also funny. It's just such a good movie. Yeah, I think about that movie constantly. It was obsessed when it came out, and like saying Teacher's

Pet all the time. I still like Hummed, like it's still oh yeah, clams it in and he's just like hummed, and I'm just like, what a great song, Like yeah, great great movie. It's like it's I think it's even better than like sound of music in that way, like that, don't it tells, like in terms of the story it tells. It's like I mean, I do too, for sure. It's at rock is better than sound. It's like it's it's

the same like archetypes that are happening. It's like he's cast out of this group to go like work this thing that he doesn't he thinks he's going to be bad and not rewarding. He meets these kids, he like finds inspiration in them, like makes you think that La la la la is better than he. I just think now a sound of music is like all time classic, but like still so school raw school rock is Miranda Cosgrown. She played the bassist and she just did our show

in Chicago. It's the coolest the Chicago community. And also my friend Zac and Fante was like the manager. Okay, the little one that's like the harmonies and the lights and then and then he's like, you gotta relax. That kid I did shows with him in college and he was a friend of mine. There is I do think about the kid who played just gay voice all the time.

I'm like, oh, yeah, what's his deal? But I just like I hope he's I think he's doing great, and I think he's like working, he's like in the biz. But it's like I hope he like is so I think he must be so well adjusted to have like been willing to play that role and played so we but to have like it was a time and like I remember like singing in the theater with my friends and like having like all the kids like you laugh at that, And I was like are we laughing for him?

And I think, like you have to be so well adjusted to have made it through that and and like understood that that's what was happening. Like he like whatever, he like took one for the team. I think that movie. That movie also has iconic Joan Cusack Yes, yeah wrote it right, Yeah, he wrote it. Who then he was like he's the most interesting person. Didn't know Gay gay and then fucking Survivor and then screenwriter enlightened. Enlightened. Yeah,

he's amazing. We were just Zeb and I were on a whale watching tour in in Provincetown, and um Zeb was like nudged me and was like, Hey, there's a guy over there that's a celebrity kind of checking out. And I was never done that celebrity wise, and I was like, oh my god, this big celebrity on this way we watch, you know, And I looked over and I was like, that's not a celebrity. That man looks kind of like Mike Wife. That's what you're thinking, isn't it.

And he was like, when you had been around celebrities already, yes, this almost two weeks ago a celebrity. They're like, he's like breathing the same are as robertson here all like six weeks of the year. It's like a big it's a big, big celebrity. Celebrities like I kind of looks like Mike White. I just have to say, because we're talking about Jack Black and um Mike White. Have you guys seen the movie The D Train? Is that also

James Marston? Yes? Yeah, okay, yeah, So funny, so funny and like under the radar, but just like and it's like classic Jack Black. It's like the Jack Black that like popped on the scene. So he did you like Tropic Thunder? Yeah, it's it's weird when you watch it now because the Robert down your stuff is like does this hold up? We don't know. I think they were making a comment on it, but I mean whatever, I haven't watched in a while, but Jack Black like underrated

good part of that movie. Yes, and I actually respect that movie. It was like pretty epic. I didn't see I haven't seen you Dumanji, and I hear he's great, and now he's so good. Oh my god, I forgot he was in that right right, and he's he's playing like like he's playing the main kid. Um one of like I forget exactly what goes down, but one of them turns into him and they're like, fuck, yeah, you

know what. It's the hot girl. Hot girl, the hot girl in the movie, like in the in real life, gets it sucked in the game machine becomes Jack so good. That's a really fun turn. Yes he is, and I feel like he that couples nicely with Waiting for Goffman or with Christopher guests stuff too, and like waiting for Goffman.

So good. You've seen it. You haven't seen it. I haven't see It's it's annoying, but like I haven't seen it, but I know Parker Posey, I get iconic Parker Posey, Iconic Katherine Yeah, iconic Kevin o'harrett, yeah, iconic EU gene

love like everyone's second, everyone, every line everything. One of my favorite lines from that movie is in the very beginning where it's the city councilwoman who's the descendant of Lane Fab and she's like, you know, it's hard being a descendant of Lane Fab and I certainly understand how the Kennedy's feel. And I'm like, that's such true. It's such funny and like, god, I I don't know I

missed that, Like that was a yeah. That was like that was the first piece of like whatever like Prestigi comment not prestigiy, but it was like someone like bought it for me, my friend Dylan, Um, my friend Dylan fucking bought it for me for Christmas one year and she was like, here, you'll love this, you should you should watch this movie. And I was like a freshman in high school. I never seen it and like, my

all I was watching. All I was consuming comedy wise was like the Simpsons and S n L and like Seinfeld and that was that. But this is like the first piece of like this is so specific and I think you would like it that I took it in and I was like wow, yes, and I was obsessed. What good? You know what My favorite line is when he needs more money for the show. So it goes to like the city council and he asked for a hundred thousand dollars and they're like, they're so taken aback androun.

I like, quirky. I mean budget for the entire town for the whole year is that includes the pool And he goes, well, there's no swimming in my show. And then what do you say? And then what do you see? Like I like, I feel so what does he says? He's so upset about to cry and then he said, I'm going to go home and bite my pillow. Space Space. I was just today, I was like thinking about Parker Posey's line reading of UM. I was reading about New York.

It's just an island. It's just an island. Um, I think I think it might still be my favorite Christopher Guest. Is it yours or is it the first one you saw? No, I saw a spinal tap like very young, loved it. Waiting for Guffman's my favorite. But I will say that recently, I I've watched Best in Show like just a few times. I've seen it back then and loved it. Um, Michael McKean and who's the other actor that plays his partner

got three names? Like yes, I know, they're amazing. So that is my favorite on screen couple of They love each other so much and are also so funny, and they love their dogs so much. I literally say that every time someone is not someone else is paying whatever we do, I've done and literally no one ever catches it.

But it's my favorite reference when he had he's packing seven kimonos the day and they're going to be gone, and he called him out like we're going to be gone just a day and a half, and then he goes and gets like another two kimonos. Oh, I love them just like yeah, truly like that movie I think is my favorite Christopher Guests without having seen God you Um, but it just for me, it's like the relationships are all so strong. Like that's what I love about that movie.

Like even like which is hard to be Jane Lynch like, it's hard because it's a lot of couples. It's just couples. And of course Catherine O'Hara and um, Eugene Levy are like iconic. And especially when she she's like when they're they're getting their credit card returning, like, I'm sorry, the card isn't and she goes, no, that's a good that's a good Card's that was that should be that's a good one. To two queer couples in that movie. Yeah,

well they get together. But it's like, also gotta love Jane Lynch in that movie where she's like, you know, um, it's it's not a typical to have a female you know, had a household. You know, that's the way it was from my family. Mom went out and made you know, got made the bread, and dad just stayed at home.

And it worked for my family. So my mom killed herself crazy also and just Jennifer Cool is sitting there the whole time like iconic is her first scene when she's talking about what she has in common with her husband was like bed written and old, and she goes, we both love soup, like you think that that like because I've heard that so many times in my life. You'd be over it and then seeing it again, I'm like you genius woman, super snow peas and talking and

not talking. We could talk or not talk forever and still find things to not talk about. It's like so good. She just put together the best lines ever. Also, park posing in that movie is they're monsters, those two, but their racist. When she goes, when when he's telling the story, I was at one Star Wars and she was at the other because to her and she just goes so good, so good, and they said there are things in common. We're like, well, we love cattle. Like sometimes I'll just say, honey,

what's new to flip through and see what's new. And then and he's I think this is just so like he does such a good job of being an asshole, like when his dog barked at someone else and told him I will sue your ass so quick, or like or I'll see you so fast on your head. Yeah god, oh man. Now there is so much in that that That movie is gold through and through many wind is very sweet Mighty Wind is like there's not as much like it's not as pot it doesn't pop as much.

I think Best in Show is like the most, like it's the most jokes per minute, and Mighty Wind was trying to do something different. I think it was like so sweet. Remember what they performed at the Oscars? Yeah? Um, and then have you seen for your consideration? Okay, for your consideration. It is kind of like it it's still worth watching. I'd say it's kind of known as like the misstep of all those because that actually was the one I wasn't comment that's like not it's not mockumentary.

Well I think it is mockumentary, but it's or maybe it's not. There's something different about it's like not fully improvised, like it's more scripted than the other ones. The I think that I think it might be still be kind of loose and improvised, but there's not there's no one talking to camera, there's no one being like, well we're

getting ready for you know, court season. It's it's truly just like the first scene is Katherine Han's character Marilyn Hack driving into the lot and like the there's like I'm sorry, sorry, I said, Katherine Han Sorry, Katherine Harra also another amazingly talented Yes, everyone is so talented these Katherine's um but yeah, that's like the only non mocumentary one. But then Jennifer Coolidge is Jennifer Coolidge invest in show No, in a Mighty Wind and in for your consideration, so

criminally under yours. She probably wasn't available for the whole shoots, but like she plays one of the producers, right, She's the producer. Looks like the family has been baked into the cookies and I want to see that. She just it's just and I want to and I want to see and I want to sit and she's the whole part where she's like, you know, the top of a producer is U you just think I forget what the line is. But it's just her delirious in all those scenes. Sandra, Sandra,

I'm very aware that Sandro isn't isn't that movie. It's just it's it's I think it's like I need to I need to revisit it because it's like it gets shipped on all the time or maybe not sure that it is regarded as like the misstep. Yeah, but you also mentioned before Jim Carrey was he also huge for you me too, you know, like aison and turn Damon Damer for sure. But then when he went when he joined forces with Ben still around the Cable Guy and it was just that extra level of weird. It was

just like, yeah, oh I loved it. And people didn't really like The Cable Guy because I think it challenged them, you know what I mean, because that movie is I think about something that that like is that we're not like didn't really talk about, but like that was that. I think it was meant to be like a like a sort of like deeper, weirder kind of deconstruction of that kind of like obsessive person. To me, one of the best performances ever is Liar, Liar, I'm gonna how

diff gold that is? No one, no one else in the world is capable of that. And still like I just can't. I still have such a like special place at my heart for Jim Carrey even right now. I'm like such a fan of his Instagram and all this like inspirational. Yeah, it's definitely taking a turn, but it's like, but how could you not take a turn after your life like that? It's a lot going on, but the

thing is like liar liar, like think that. Of course all the physical comedy like and the nailing of every joke. But then there's that moment where he's like, I'm a bad father and he was hears himself say it, and then he was able to say it, and he's like, I'm a bad father. And Maura Tierney who is Maura Maura. It's really culture number icon Maura. She's in a tune. She was like, you're not a bad father and he's like,

I am, I am and she doesn't get it. Like that scene is so good, and then just like the whole thing, like oh man, that like he is and then his dramatic work to like you've seen the Truman Show. That movie is really crazy. It's crazy. I actually I only saw it recently for the first time, and it's

like it's it's it's really ahead of its time. I don't think he would make that now, or maybe they would, but it just would be like it would be very different, like it was the perfect sort of premise for a movie that for a movie that came out at that time, and then it turned like an eternal time time. We were just talking about in the car they you know, I was just watching the movie Elma and Louise on the plane. Have you seen Thelma and Louise? One of

my havent movies of all time? But like the way that movies used to like take their time setting up character and like really kind of seep in worlds, like you don't see that anymore, Like even my best friend's wedding, Dave. Dave had never seen my best friend's wedding, like and we I was like, we have to watch it now, Like we dropped everything and watched it that night. But like the amount of time, like it takes to get

to know Julia Robertson. It takes her like a little while to get to the actual wedding and then you meet Cameron Diaz or whatever. Romantic but is now if they ever make them, it's like first scene like over a city's gape. Hey, my name is Miranda and I work in a magazine and we're already in it. It's like crazy rich Asians. That first scene when it's like

the text goes around the world. It's like it's just thrust into the world so quickly, and it's like you miss when movies didn't feel like they had to be like eighty five minutes, you know, like, isn't it romantic? I loved, but like it's so fast, literally minutes, and they cut so much out of it you could tell,

and we've had confirmed that. It's like, I don't know, I just missed when movies like We're Feature felt it felt like when you get thrown into it, you don't know what to care about just instantly, it's just like just spewed, and it's so nice to sit in and decide, Oh, I like this for I'm starting to fall in love with this. Yes, I think that's why. Oftentimes now you see like a lot of lead characters that feel the

most nondescript. Yeah, I would say that about crazy rich Asians. Actually, I would say that Constance Wu is like the we are we are Constant Wood, and like all the supporting characters are the ones that topic obviously Aquafina and like you know, Michelle and like all these supporting characters. But it's like when you watch something like My Best Friend's Wedding or any of these Jim Carrey movies, it's like

you really know who the lead character is. Best's Wedding it's like a fully unlikable who you still root for in some way. Yeah, And I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that Julia Roberts is playing her, and you root for Julia, you just do. But it's interesting, like to watch these movies from the nineties and then see like, like what romantic comedy like Netflix is making now or whatever, and it's just like the formulas seems to be just different. Things need to

be shorter, as like people's attention spans get shorter. I guess um to go back to Jim Carrey, I would there was a period of time and I would watch like ET, like I would watch these like Hollywood. I would just watch like TV just to see if he was like on like my mom, like my sister will

be like Jim carries on ET. You mean Entertainment tonight, yea extraterrestrial And and then like I would like sit with an interes of the TV just to watch him be interviewed, and he would just make these crazy faces. Just his whole purpose in the interviews was to make the person laugh, And I was just like, how does he do it? I need to understand how this man's brain works because I want to be that someday. It was like truly like this crazy, crazy, crazy obsession, like

my first full celebrity obsession as a kid. And it's still like yeah, still like following him on Instagram'm like wow, Jim Yeah. Or like when he would show up on the MTV Movie Awards, like you knew he would win Comedy Performance of the Year, and then sometimes he was like in character, you just knew he was going to do funny. Yeah. That's the thing too, is it's like that used to be that they have the presenters at the Oscars and you'd come out and be like okay,

and I don't time. It would be like Jack black or Ye saying that song about delt Taco. That one talking about it was like Jack Black well Ferrell, yeah yeah. But now it's like I feel like they've relied a little, like you kind of get the same people out there every single time now. But it did used to feel like Jim Carrey would show up, what novel on else

would matter? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they've ever seen like he presented like Meryl Streep with like an a f I Award one time and it was literally him like not on like just screaming across the auditorium like no, and she was like, oh, it's a delight and it's such a delight to have this, and like he was just like running around the auditorium and that was just the presentation, but then there was also but then it was at the same awards where fucking Tracy Ellman came

out and this is iconic, So do you have to watch this? So it's like Meryl Streep receiving like an a f I Lifetime Achievement Award, and Tracy Ellman tells this hilarious story about how they wish I had no idea.

They did a movie together called Plenty in the eighties, which was like a drama with Tracy Ullman and Meryl Street, but they literally filmed it in like Tunisia, and so they were flying from Tunisia back to the like United States or whatever, and Tracy Allman tells a story about how they were positive the plane was gonna crash because it started crashing, like I started to go down and Tracy Ellman is like, doesn't Meryl impre She's like she's like, well,

the papers are gonna have something to say about this. And then she goes and I could see the headline now screen got a streep parishes in Tunisian air disaster. Meanwhile, Limi comedian Stacy Pullman also on board. Really good. I don't do it as good as Tracy Aellman. None of us could. None of us could. That's what makes Tracy though like and I think that we're do for a renaissance or something at the Showtime show. That's right, I

haven't seen it. Have you watched any of Speaking of Showtime shows, you know what I feel like you should watch is Kirsten Dunst in the on Becoming a God. Have you you must have watched everything? I mean I just wrote this on a piece of paper that was like anything she does I wish I did, like every single movie, also every single look like her and The

Virgin Suicide. We didn't even mention that. We literally on our last episode of the pod that we recorded, we talked about her so much, and then today in the news she was she feels that Hollywood doesn't appreciate her. Read the read the quote, read the quote. I've got it.

I've got it, I get it. But literally we were just talking about how she's like never won a major award, rarely gets nominated for ship, but always has the best taste in things, like always seems to know like what projects to pick, and they all have like staying power, you know what I mean, And just this under even though she was so big, Like also she's understated and because she's never obviously and she thinks so too, never gotten, Like do you think she floats a theory that she says,

I think maybe people think of me as the girl from Bringing On. I think that people people because she was so kind of big when she was younger. I think people in their like dumb minds are like, oh, she's like you can't take her seriously, she's like a teenager, mean, while she's fully thirty seven years old. It's like, and your your theory is that Hollywood thinks that she thinks

she's younger than she is. I think that just there's like a there's like a perception of her as being like not like a leading lady type when she's so obviously and it's like really makes everything look so easy that she does because she I feel like this might be a weird thing to like connect, but I feel like she and like what like her career was like I feel like on the same level as like, let's say, in Natalie Portman both in these big blockbuster franchises Wimbledon,

like Wimbledon, and then like, uh, like they're like Natalie was in Star Wars, Kirsten was in Spider Man Closer and Virgin Suicides or like yeah, I mean she's got some resume. Like they had like very similar trajectory, and they both work with prest these directors too. It's like, you know, like there's like a lot of what does she said, what's the quote? The quote is, I don't know.

I've also had a lot of disappointment that things that people like, Remember when Marie Antoinette came out, y'all panned it, all panned it, and now you all love it. Remember drop dead gorgeous, panned, now you all love it. It's interesting for me, I feel like a lot of things I do people like later she's so right, and it's it's kind of it's kind of confounding. It's like she is do like such such a such a more like

widely celebrated career. Then there's like so many smaller performances of hers that are just overlooked like my favorite example of like someone like really slang and like no one noticing is like her and eternal Sunshine of the Spolacey. Yeah, another jump toward a force. Speaking of Jim, I think so good in that. Um, did you guys watch Fargo season two? Yeah, but what she does is so hard like and also like the thing about her is like

she's a real character actress. She embodies characters and she's good at accents, like she's like this unbecoming a god intentraal Farda. We were talking about it today. I was talking about it today UM with someone and they were saying, like, you know, you see her and she's like really playing this woman. Like her transformation is like she gets her braces off, but her body is still like a normal

woman's body, you know what I mean. Like it's like she just like really commits to authenticity in a way that I feel is like rare. I think. And then part of this part for someone that came up in the nineties when it was like a lot of like there wasn't so much awareness on the fact that we do this to women in Hollywood, where it's like, you know, I bet a lot of her contemporaries are like, you know, like are like a victim of that kind of culture,

which was the late nineties early two thousands. I remember like Perez Hilton was calling Kirston Dunce like a ship stain on this website, like seriously, like she's been through a media age that was like very cruel to women. Sure she in the same interview I think, was like, I don't know, I guess I'm just chill, like like in a way that was just like I don't know people like people like, don't people like look like overlooking

because I guess I'm just like chilling. I don't like make to play the game is don't play the game, which I think I truly think she does because she was on Cold Bear like recently to promote the show, and I was like, oh yeah, like I forgot that. This was like Kirston Dunes like the person. She's not like larger than she's just like a chill person. Yeah, she's an actress, who that's what she does. Like she's not a celebrity. But don't you I have don't you

have like such respect for that. I'm just like, yeah, that's so refreshing, and I am obsessed and like that's what I want. Here's a question, here's a question for you, Like do you get like a lot of like press, like opportunity to are they asking you to do a lot of press now that you're like, I'm like not a veteran of the show, out of it ago not like not not too much, you know, you know, more than a year ago. But when you put you on seth was truly a beautiful, beautiful moment. I loved it.

Like this is so I was like, oh my god, do you feel comfortable with it? Or is it weird? I'm trying to get more comfortable. I think that being like people pleaser my whole life. I can um air more on the like polite and the closer I can get to just being myself is like a challenge I have every time I do something like, you know, just to make sure I'm being myself. Yeah. And also it's like that thing of like be yourself but also be like entertaining. For us, well, it's like a lot to

appear effortless. It's effort to effortless because being effortless truly is the hardest thing in the world. Ironically, well, some people real it's probably not real. Yeah, I think some people are just really good at like and having a lot of energy when they go out there. But you know, I was recently watching UM, like a clip of Aubrey

Plaza on UM. It was like a super cud of Aubrey Plaza on Conan, And I guess her bit on Conan is that she goes out there and it's like whatever, like Okay, I don't know, I really don't want to do this, and that's like a bit that she does. But like I really respect like sticking that bit because to go out there and be like anti energy but it's so funny, like that is hard and yeah, I mean he and he's laughing and he's like he's like, um,

so what have you been doing? And she's like, I don't know, I've been busy and he's like, okay, the kind of stuff, and she's like, um, I don't know. I did a movie that I'm here to talk about, what you know, and he's like okay. But now she's so lucky that she has that, and then it is effortless I see at this point, But like how do you get those? Because you know, the first few times

weren't like that probably nervous. How do you get to that point where now it's also Christen Wig whenever she goes on, like whenever she's on the Tonight Show, it's always she'll go on. It's like, yeah, I know in a bald cap. I'm like, you want to get figured out that place where people automatically or just excited like me with Jim Carrey on the MTP movie, or like just knowing you're in for it, they're going to do

something funny. I think, like, I think, I think I think it's I think it's like it's already there for everybody to just like show up and like not expect people to be excited, but just to like, I don't know, like carry that as if you like walk into walk into a situation. Carrying this image of people already being excited that you're there kind of just helps well. Being a guest on. Like Joel recently told me that he's going to start doing press for like Sunnyside, joking Booster

is on that show Son. He saw it NBC and he said that he mentioned he was doing a show, and I'm like I looked at him and I'm like, but you're my friend. You're not allow I'm gonna watch you on a show get interviewed. No, it was weird. I was like, he was like, I'm gonna be on set Meyers and I was like, no, no, you can't, can't do that. Yeah, you're not famous, you're my friend. Friend. I have a friend, my friend Michelle, who the second I got on SNL was like, what about the trolls?

And I was like Michelle, I was like, well, yeah, you know, that will be hard, you know. And she's like, do you want me to start it? And I was like, what do you mean? She was like like start you know, so like the first negative thing comes from a friend and I'm like, oh my god. And every time, like she's always just kind of being like asking the questions, like what if this doesn't work out? And I was like, I'll be a teacher. I don't know, like Michelle teacher Michelle,

but it's and she's been my friends second grade. Like, yeah, I feel like you have been embraced and beloved, like in a way that like not that we haven't seen in a few years, but like I really feel like the response to you has been so good. Do you feel that not? According to Michelle. Michelle. Michelle is the one who's like orchestrating, like the camp like truly Michelle. But I do feel like you've you've like it's you've hit hard. Oh that's right, and it is very fun

to watch. She was saying, s l a Y it's it's the coolest thing in the world. You really kill those weekend update characters. Do you have like someone that you write with a lot at the show, like like,

what's what's the machine? That is Heide Gardner the machine? Well, you know, from being a shy person at first, I think like the first few weeks that s n L. You know, it's first year writing by myself, you know, which was just because it's scared to knock on doors and you're like, hi, I'm me and also if you want to write with me, so um, that was like

a character to defect. But also I think, let me get my point of view out even just the writers and producers and then you know, Sudi I write with all the time, and fran Bowen, James Anderson, yeah, me and Mikey. Oh yeah, you and Mikey are like the thing. Yeah, I mean that was a goal this year. I was like, I want to have like chemistry with the cast member something, so that is fun. Andrew dismukex is is so I love.

And also I loved that um Flora Bama Shore sketch that you guys did as a couple of years ago where you were like, um, I was born in born in Epcot Centers, and then Sudi told me about the line that was cut and I was born in the China section of Epcot Centers, which means I'm half Chinese, half Disney, which I can't believe I cut that Chinese half Disney. It's so funny. Also the fact that it's Epcot Centers, centers of centers, she can just tap into

like Southern nons, like like fucking Southern nonsense like Bayou Panhandle. Yes, that's why I like working with him. Well, it was like it was me, him and Lukenol and I think we all come from different parts of trash, so we could all and then to let that trash to swop together was like, oh, this feels so good. Perfect, It really is so vivid. Love that boy. Cute boy. Let me tell you something. We run into each other a couple of times in Los Angeles and handsome so handsome,

so funny, can play the guitar. Yeah, we just played zeb and I played with Luke and his girlfriend Caitlin. Am like one of those card games role like I would say, it's like a geekery type like one that I'm not like. I played Settlers of Can with them. I'm not used of those. This one was called love Letters and it was all like you earned cubes to have sex with a princess and it was really fast, a fast play game. It was very funny. Because I'm

always intimidated. I'm like, my mind ain't gonna work, like I'm not gonna get this. But he's really into those. So any Luke No Thing plane you got to send the board game pieces. But he's got a girlfriend, Caitlin is awesome. So so listen girls, you men, if you're a boy out there, as you're a Luke No fan, you can send them game pieces. The only game pieces that he Luke No and I will say he was referring to these game pieces as fuck cubes. That's the

only time I'll cuss on this. Wow, that's the only time I'll cuss on this. Another front runner for That's the only time I'll cuss on this. Have you ever met Rachel Drowski, don't you feel like they have very similar energy? Yes. I knew her for like a week, and I thought she was awesome and so funny. Yes, you guys just remind me so much of each other. She was like, she was like between she loves basketball too.

She lovesball like a basketball queen. Yeah, okay, yes, because I think because Heidi and other people I think have all had separate conversations with me where they're like, you, basketball is the best sport to follow because there are narratives that play out. It feels it's like it's like explain, I will, I will compare some It's like drag race. It's like there there are these people that you're just

like invested in. You want to see where they go and you want to see so talk us through like the the the perennial appeal of basketball, well, the narratives, well just from the start. I grew up in the time of like Jordan, which was just which is like superhero, you know, like the air Jordan's dunking. It's just super fun.

And also they were so many It's so many personalities, like on every team and so there's usually like the star, like the Michael Jordan's, the Charles Barkley, the Shack, and then there's always like a number two, you know, it's like Jordan and Pippen. And so lately in basketball, um there have been these like kind of super teams where

there's almost like three players that are like amazing. And then so it's like on the Golden State Warriors, it's like Clay Thompson stuff create and then they got Kevin Durant and then that makes a super team and then you're just like they're never gonna lose and they won like five years in a row. Well, what's happened with the NBA, like over the summer is that now it's back to those two man squads, Like there's no super team. So now none of us know what's going to happen.

And it's like this motley crew of like people partnering up, like James Harden and Russell Westbrook who used to play like seven years together and now they're back together, and everyone's trying so hard to win a championship, and Kawhi Leonard and Paul Georgia together. There's all these combos we don't know what's going to happen, And it's just like so exciting to see how will these personalities work together

play together. And I'm a massive Lebron tan who's been a part of super teams as well, because all if anybody cares about the NBA lifting, who will be Like she didn't mention Lebron having a super team too, but he didn't. But I'm just a Lebron lover because, um, he to me is like a real life superhero. Yeah, yeah, who is the when the draft picks were happening, I remember we were at work, you were watching and who's like the kid that everyone went zon? He's like who

also would seem like the next Lebron? Like he looks like like when like Lebron's I'm not saying this in a creepy way, like Lebron's Phizzy is out of this world, Like it's a robot, it's a superhero, it's a man, it's a everything. As Zion has the next the next top, because we're his next top. Did Lebron have the similar similar physice to Michael to Michael Michael Jordan's And then he had to bulk up because people were coming after him,

so then he did get more muscular. But then but Lebron is just his own Lebron was like six nine, but Lebron is like lean muscle, put buff, huge muscle, could do anything, crazy proportions. Yes, he spends a million dollars a year on his body alone, just working out vitamins and like um diet, so diet workouts, cry. Oh, he's got his own cry chamber. Those are the only three things I can think of. And so I'm sure more money gets dispersed to other places, but I'm sure

like seven hundred k goes to food like alone. Yeah, he's got to have like the best of the best putting in his body. Well, I will say so, there was this one time where he posted his meal on Insta story and I clocked it because you know, usually it was like a steak and broccoli and he loves wine, but this one night it was like um, wine as steak. And then what I refer to as Jojo fries, which are like the potato wedge fries pl at the college dorm um in the cafeteria that I went to, they

were advertised as Jojo fries. So my friend and I know him as Jojo Fries. So I screenshot at that that he was eating Jojo Fries and I sent it to my friends from college, Jenny in Austin, and I was like, oh my god, lebron eats Jojo Fries. To like this because anything where I can have like the same footing as Lebron Um. And then that night he didn't play. He was sick. Did they make you sick in college? Probably because I ate so many? Do you

think that it was that he was sick? And then he was like, well, I want to I want to eat what I want to eat. It's not a normal game day. I'm gonna eat Jojo Fries. Personally, I think they interrupted a system and you can't play on that. I honor that theory. I also think he could have just known that he was sick and he was like, I'm gonna see what I want to eat. I'm not playing. Yes, I could go either way. When really, I mean, basketball

players can play on anything. This is another thing I love about the NBA is that a lot of basketball players coming in because you know, they're like seventeen year old kids. You know, they haven't learned from the nutritionists yet, so they're just addicted to candy. Like there's a stat that Derrick Rose when he was still he missed out in college on an n C double A tournament because of a gummy bear overdose. What and I eat a lot of gum to us gummy bears? Do you know

how many? So many? And there's lots of guys like this in the NBA. Like there's a shot from the Phoenix suns uh like two years ago. I love It's one of my favorite pictures. I should frame it. Where they are on the bench, there's a game going on on the bench. The players are passing around a tupper were full of what appears to be Halloween candy. Like there's a lot of different little tiny packages and they

are eating it on the bench and then playing. And you think it's because they just went straight from being seventeen to being like professional athletes. They still love the kids. That's that's that's probably right. And I don't know if that's that's what. I don't know if that explains that. I mean, I don't know why I love gummies so much. I don't either, I love them. I have a question about maybe this is going to be a little bit um incisive, but what say you about all the cheating

that goes on in the NBA. These men our cheaters. Every NBA player seems to be a cheater, and um, we need a comment from you on that. I can't. I mean, gosh, I'm such an NBA loyalist, A cheaters and a lot of cheaters. Well, I mean, I don't know what the rules are when you get in a relationship with an NBA player. I feel like there might be a conversation up toptast No, I don't. It just seems like there's so much a lot of stuff we don't know, a lot of conversations that we're not But

there are, you know, I don't know. There are couples that I just think are up Yeah that don't you know, Like Dwayne Ray Wade and Gabrielle Union. Tight, I know, I just saw that Gabrielle Union is an icon forever. Yes, and for her to be now married to Dwayne Wade that must be huge. You must have liked her much more. Yeah, I mean they just yeah, And they're so. I mean I follow both on Instagram. They're so. They have a

good relationship. They take I think they take shots at each other in a way that I like, yeah, yeah, and even like sometimes I can't remember who it was, but you know, she posted a picture in a swim suit and another player I can't remember who it was, just wrote like damn. And then Dwyane Wade was like, dude, yeah, like he's checking up on day, you know, and it is their friends. Yeah. That totally disapproves and dismantles your whole f right. I think that every relationship in the

NBA is healthy. I think that it's all healthy. And I've obviously had discussions that we're not privy too, and I'm happy to have brought it up on the podcast because not everyone knows being a wag is its own job and there are so and girlfriends. Okay, wag great, so you know that's all. It is my god episode of Atlanta you should watch. Okay, very good, it's very good. Wait, it's called Wags. I think the episode is called Wags,

and it's it's um, what's her face? That that amazing actress the female lead in Atlanta, Like it's a bottle episode where she just goes out to dinner with this friend who's a wag. Yeah, it's he beats And then I think it's a bottle episode of it's just her character going hanging out with her old friend who's now a wagon is like rich and fucking like doesn't give a ship and like he's just like, oh, I'm still poor. It's a really good episode of television. I'll have to

check that. And now it is time for us to check out. I don't think so, honey. It's our segment with that we always do on the pot. It's one minute to runt against something in the culture that we don't like. Our tours are completed for the year. Y'all thank you for coming out to our shows. If you did come out, that was very kind. They were so fun.

Every show is so good. There was not a bad show, truly, not for that and think because there could have been because they're always would have said, you know, we had a bad show and we didn't to but we didn't go to which I don't think we have a fan base there. But if you're living, which time you want us to come, we can hang out. We'll go to We'll go to local go to a local bar, all right. I have one Okay, this is Matt Rodgers. I don't think so many And it's time starts now. I don't

think so honey gators. Gators. You guys are crazy. You're you're reptiles. You are crazy. You eat kids. The other day, I was in Walt Disney World, and by the other day, I mean several months ago, and I was thinking to myself about that gator that ate that toddler. That was inappropriate. You took that life. Hello there, you can't be having gators, um. And also, if you're Walt Disney World, then you're not doing enough gator maintenance. You need to be getting in

there and finding them and pushing them out. Yard dinosaurs you should actually be here. I don't think so honey dinosaurs a works thing for many years. I don't think so honey gators, Um that you can They can also kill you with their tail. That is really fucked up. Do you know that if a Gaylor swings its tale could break your leg and snap it in half? Mrs in books. I don't think so honey gators because, um, you ruin my favorite state, which is Florida. I don't

think so honey gators. Um you you kill someone and I'm becoming a god intential Florida spoiler alert. I don't think so a gator and that's one minute. You know, you haven't watched it yet, but you know, gator kills a character. I know that a gator eats a character. That's amazing. And I heard from my friend he said, quote, you will gasp when it happens. Is your favorite state? Um, my favorite state is California. A Okay, there you go.

If that's true about the gator, then I would quote your friend from The Dark Knight and say, I have so much more respect for that. Yeah. Yeah, well they did it. They did it. Also, I really was in Disney World, and I kept thinking, like we were like leaving the hotel, and I kept thinking about, like that that horrific story about how that gator eat that toddler.

Like I read about it, and it was a mistake to read about it because it's really even more upset, and it was an ongoing story over the course of like two weeks, when they were like like new developments kept coming out where like the parents, well the parents were like gonna sue yeah, and then it was like, no, it's not a thing because like the kid wasn't necessarily supposed to be there. But now when you go to

Walt the Walt Disney Old Resort. Everywhere there are signs that say like that are like in front of the water that are like, don't come here, don't come here, don't come here. You can tell they really went extra mile to make sure that it never happens again, because how horrifying is that? Yeah, very horrifying, very horrifying. Let's sit with that, all right, this is gonna be Um, so my I don't think it's honey, was very successful on gators. Um, this is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so, honey.

His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Europe, you need to be closer to America. Because I was. I would have gone to vacation in you for my five days, the only five days I have out this whole summer. I was gonna go vacation in you, but you're too far away, and it was it would have been too much time for me to spend flying and

trying to like adjust to the time. Your friends, Europe, it would be perfect if you were just a little bit closer, about an hour and a half closer to America, then it would be so good to be in you, darling. But I can't vacation in Nice. I can't go to you know, Lisbon or wherever the hell I would have gone. I had to cancel. I had, I had to cancel a whole continent in my head. And I was like, I guess I'll settle for Turks and Caikos. So that's

where I'm going. I'm going to Turks and Kikos. But part of me wishes I was at um you know, the Almend resort in uh Switzerland. You know, part of me wishes I was in New Europe. Listen, it's not that I don't like you, it' said I wish I could. I wish you allowed me to like four seconds and that, and that's all. That's my beef with Europe, the entire continent of Europe. Also, you're going through some some some

moments right now with the white nationalism. That's one minute of course that when I famously ended in the words the white nationalism, I would say, I guess it would be better for you if you're up for Canada. Huh. If I was what if you're up war Canada? If I was more if Canada, I'm sorry I misheard you, but yes I understand and famously in Canada. Montreal is sort of like the European city of Canada. So why don't you just go there? I don't understand it. Stupid Montreal.

I don't want to like vacation there because it's like it you can go to Lauron. Oh my god, Oh my god. We haven't talked about Lauron. You know who I saw, lar Kevin Hart is this island in It's this island in Montreal along the St. Lawrence River and it's a theme park. It turned into a six Flags park when I was a kid. When I was a kid, all I wanted to do is go to Lauron. They wouldn't take you. My my parents said, no, that is

for that is for rich kids. And they were totally bullstrating with it, but they really they just didn't want to take me to the theme park. It doesn't sound like it's hurt. Well, I think. I think my sister and I used my sister one all the time. But for me, it was like I used that as leverage to be like, well then when we moved to the US,

you're taking us to disney World. And it worked. But my whole childhood because all the all the cool kids went to Laurondo over the summer every single weekend, and I was like, I want to go so badly. Oh, I'm so sad for you that you didn't get to go. I can see a little you like begging you got to go. I got to go to and I desired you because I was actually was taken to anywhere I wanted to go. My parents never restricted me, and I

never heard no all. I could say the name of a theme park and we would be on our way park yeahend any times, many times. And guess what I've done every roller coaster in there. And if I said to my parents, I didn't make it happen. How about that horrible? Because I was at a theme park once, Worlds of Fun, where I'm proud but you haven't know. Okay.

So I was at World of Fun and with two of my friends, well a friend and then his little brother who wasn't so little at the time, he was eight, and the mom was there and she still pushed the eight year old in a stroll. And that is thinking of that you got pushed literally would be the one. I would be the one who would have on my own two damn feet to every goddamn track. You got pushed and roll to the roller because no, I literally it worked really hard. And who was in that park?

No one, because I wasn't there. I was to go boo, who stupid listen And now we turned the Heide Gardener. Oh my god, and it's going to be your I don't think so, honey, Heide Gardeners. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now, okay, warning, Europe's going to take it again. I don't think so, honey. Christants are good in France. I don't think so, honey. America got better at it, I don't think. And the proof is in the pudding. Go to Dominique on salt creator the cronut.

He forgot about the crow part of it. Okay, because the Croissans and France are low to the ground and no flake. America practiced and got better. It's the same as like with the with the NBA where the dream team basketball in the Olympics. But like sometimes you know, you get lazy because you think you're the best, and then Portugal or Spain comes in and wins. France has done that with croissants. Go to proof in l A, go to the Village Bakery. You'll get a high flying croissants,

lots of butter. That place Maison keys there um, which I just butchered the name. I've just a joke of a croissant and honey. I grew up eating grocery store croissans and I've gotten better. I don't think so that was really good. You're talking about Costco croissans because those things are high flying. I'm talking about sun Fresh. But I bet we see that we're thinking the same in our head, big plump, yes, low to the ground croissans.

I don't know flake. We are Portugal and we're Lisbon. Yes, yeah, oh my god. I will be going to Duncan Donuts and enjoying the croissans. They're very good, cris Hi flake, but I like them Hi Flake. Like no. I'm saying, if if the barometer is no flake, you'd rather have no flake? Wait, what do you want? Fake? And I want big? I liked you so much, and then in the last two minutes with the theme park snobbery that you're shown and brattery by, and then that's just how

cockily this Duncan Donuts. I just want to say that I don't think so honey had nothing to do with the duncan do I know, I will try it, but he's putting that onto me. You gotta go, I'm saying. Is they know how to parrot with an egg and a cheese and a sausage. Oh my god, No, I just want to I don't. I don't like sandwiches, or no, you don't, you don't need it? Shut up? I do they get so greasy and become their own things. Yeah, they definitely do. But I enjoy what they become Croissan

because I am not a pastry queen. I am you know I love a Croissan. It's it's truly my bread, am butter. Oh, oh my god. You start really strong and charming. At the beginning. I was delighted, and towards the end she had no respect for us, and it attracts. Wow. This is a fantastic episode of Lost Cultures. This fabulous episode. We've been fantasizing, yeah about this very moment, very much time. Where can people find you? Every week on television Saturday Night.

It's going to be on right now. I guess we're in the season. By the time it comes out will be that's gray. I knew it wasn't that fun? That is fun. It feels like it feels like I've been here the whole time. You're truly the best person, the best one, the best person. And I heard you give good gifts to Christmas, gave everybody a plate of cookies and like I said, like numerous people told me that you know who's cookie was on that that was the

best cookie. Michelle one, my troll, my best She came over and helped make cookies and her cookie got all the attention. And no, I didn't make and no comment about no cookie, I said. They were all good about no cookie. Um, we love you and thank you for being here, and now we do. We've finished every episode with a song. However you want, I'll be tea tell us pair. You just gotta forget it. Rock got no reason, Rock got no right. You gotta get me to school.

Long time. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook m