The Top 10 Stores

Look Mayer, oh, I see you my own line and look over there is that culture. Yes, goodness, wow, lost cult ding Dong lost culturistas calling Well. Thank you again to all of our big money players Diamond subscribers for listening to the special bonus up of our lists, our top ten lists.

You guys are the definition of not like other girls, because you actually pay a little bit more to get this episode earlier, which makes you different from so many people out there in the public. And we thank you for putting your putting your dollar into you know, our great cause. I meant, we'll see I was a little bit more transparent. Yeah, well, let's be really transparent. When when you get money, what do.

You do with it? You go donate to charity. I was going to say, shopping girl, I think you're at You're lying. I was trying to align with you because you said you're putting your money towards a great cause, and I said, you're putting money in our coffers, and so I was trying to like make ay those two ideas.

I'm I'm I'm not even going to hide my checks from this podcast. Some of it goes to charity, A lot of it goes to shopping and that really sort of brings us to what what this episode is. What's on the table in front of us, this this bonus episode, as it were, this top ten. Yes, this is I guess it's really capitalist culture. Huh, it's capitalist culture. You know, money is one of the great collective hallucinations. WHOA, it's uh, it's a LARP, a live action role play. It's a

And would you say.

That the the ten stores we're about to talk about which will make up the top ten stores are this is some place where you'd like love to go LARP.

Well, the store is where you larp the most with in terms of money. Oh yeah, when you when you hand the cashier the cash the car, that's a transaction. When there's the transaction, that is the ultimate LARP. WAF you're scanning at the self checkout kiosk, that's LARP.

When I buy something, it can only be described as a transaction.

You know, Yeah, I think so, I think I know. Now talk about the experience of going to the store, because I don't want to we're not going to talk about any e commerce on this episode, we're not talking about add to cart, No, how about push the cart.

I'm talking about good old fashioned walking in. I'm talking about stepping into an environment where there's pieces and really thinking aboub a plenty, just like look at this troll. That's what I want to say. When I'm going into a store. Sometimes I know exactly what I want. A lot of the stores that we're going to be talking about, you really do go there with a purpose. Sometimes you do just want to go into a store and say at this, Yeah, what's gonna happen, what's gonna happen.

I can walk out of here penniless. I could walk out here penniless, but I could walk out here with something new, something new, something that really lifts my spirits. Retail therapy is a thing, y'all I learned during the pandemic. It works, And if it weren't for stores, you would never have a lyric like so I went to Nieman Mark's on a shopping spirit. Yeah, and my way, I'm Sully and me. If there were no store, then Blue Cantrell would have no way of coping with the way

It's actually a real culture number thirty because of the contral and her retail therapy.

And them you go, maybe stores are good. You might even work in a store if you listen to this podcast, you might even work at the store.

You might be listening to this podcast right now while you're working at the store and works face. I have to tell you you are breaking the law of your workplace. I know it's not above board that you listen to podcasts while you're at work, honey, especially if you're in Florida. I know DeSantis's past legislation saying people who work at stores cannot listen to these Bay guys. On last Culture rest one, he said that with his chest, with his chest.

Let's activate the economy, y'all. Let's let's let's give back, and like the ariostour is in your town and you're buying up all the beads for the friendship Bracelet pretend you're tailor. Pretend your tailor. It's so noble that Taylor Swift and Beyonce, you know that part of the virtue of their tours was that they, you know, added money to the economies of these cities.

Number ten, Hudson News. Listen to me right now. There is a communal experience at the airport. And it is either walking past the Hudson News and saying, Hm.

Is there anything in there I want?

And deciding against it, or there is the really just everyone knows what it's like to go in there and ultimately buy a water and that's it.

A seven dollars water, Yeah that you need. Picking one bag of Werther's originals from a wall of Werther's originals, picking up magazines a magazine, a drama, mean, a lifestyle, white, a fucking ben and drill.

You ever have those little sandwiches they sell at the Hudson News.

No way, Absolutely not too much self respect.

See I guess I don't because I've actually eaten one. I've had a tuna salad sandwich from the Hudson News.

There is any other place at the airport to get a sandwich.

All right, But I think what it happened was something. And tell me if you feel me. Sometimes you show up to the airport just a little too late. You gotta grab and go right. And that's really where the Hudson News thrive from. My grabbers and goers, My grabbers and goers. But I just think if you keep walking two gates down, there's gonna be a little there's gonna be something a little better and even maybe less crowded. All this to say is why Hudson News News is number ten on top ten stores.

Last coach number nine. Pizza.

Yeah, this also is known as pizza store. This is the store you go to buy pizza and other Italian garlic nots such as little calzones, such as different types of pizza. I'm talking about PEPPERONIU, I'm talking about square What?

Why did why did you? What's going on? You? Itchbald? God? What I thought I thought I thought she was I thought she wasbald. She she was just simply sneezing. She didn't burst out laughing. She sneezed out. SnO, can we say that was disgusting? Disgusting? That was awful to watch. You're listening to this, she's she's currently going to the restroom being so courteous. Anyway, Pizza, when you go to the pizza store also known as pizza Rhea, do you

I often think that, but you you can't really leave with everything. I mean, you just can't eat that much, though, I will say that the leftover value. There's a lot of compelling choice in a pizzeria. And I put to you, what's your favorite pizza supreme?

I want pepperoni? You want it all. I want a pepper I want a mushroom. I want maybe some sausage if I'm in a mood. If I want a little protein, extra protein. I want a red onion. I want it heavy on the tomato sauce. You like, shar Pei, Do you want it all? I'm like, I'm like Ashley Tisdale. Yeah.

And in her most iconic performance, I think to Sharpe, it's true, what about you? The truth about me that you don't know is that I really will just be eating a regular slice.

Regular slices. I mean, I think that that's here's the thing about pizza. Sometimes it okay, in the beginning of time, there was no pizza, right, and so then all of

It's like, what do you know what I mean open face hot sandwich. I guess because of the bread of it all.

It's bread, sauce, top like like things that you would maybe put in a sandwich.

Girl, you are going to be out here on your own if you're if you're if you're trying to say pizza is a sandwich, I'm.

Saying the beautiful innovation pizza. I will take whatever tone I want. The beautiful thing about pizza it is a large flat disc. Yeah, come back in. No, No, pizza is a large flat disc and that is the that is the innovation of it. He's trying to I just want to fill it.

So basically what's happening on the podcast at this moment is Bowen is trying to convince me that pizza is an open faced sandwich, a.

Hot, open faced sandwich. Excuse me, excuse me. If you were to put another slice of pizza face down on top of it, a face up slice of pizza, is that not a cal zone? Is that on a sane in an essence a sandwich? It's it's things encased in bread.

You know what you know what you sound right now, crazier than a soup sandwich. You sound crazier than a soup sandwich right now, And think about eating a soup sandwich. It would it would be a lot like pizza, which.

Is so crazy to me. And our engineer is literally doubled over right now because he thinks what you've said today here so far and we're at number nine is some of the craziest ship you've ever heard. You're to to talk about the store experience of pizza store. Talk about what it's like with the vibe, what the right vibe is when you walk into a pizza First of all, I want guys with doe, guys with dough.

First of all, with this if you're if you work at a pizza store and you are so fucking hot, and I want you to breed me.

Oh now listen.

But the second thing, when I think about the smell of a pizza store, I'm so happy inside.

Yeah, I I have to sing a song? What what song? The pizza song?

Pizza is My Boyfriend, Pizza is God, Pizza is on the weekend, pizzas a relaxing did she should go relaxing dog? If Taylor came out with a song called the Pizza Song.

It would be huge if you think that Taylor Swift if she released a song called the Pizza Song, and if you don't think that would be one of her Billboard Hot one hundred number one hits, he'd be deeply mistake that that will be the biggest song of all time.

She would tear eat Sleigh and Prosper, Prosper the Big Four.

That's why Pizzeria is number nine in our list of top ten stores Lost College.

I don't have to say, just like, discourse around pizza made me so happy?

Are you gonna have pizza? SAIDAI? Now I think so, me too, Oh my god. For eight Wegmans go on. Wegmans is elevated grocery shopping.

Say that Trader Joe's. You have to be in the right say something. It's not twenty eleven. Sorry to you Jays.

That one is so shook, disturbed, destroys. I'm trying to becomadic and say that Traders is not an all the time situation. No, Wegmans is an all the time situation. Here's here's what I got from Wegmans recently. Die coke, Yeah, you want to do that box of twenty frozen corn dogs. What and it's the perfect snack if I'm coming home from a long day at work, if it's like three

You should do a corn dog talk show, absolutely, because you know how there's chicken chop Date. You know how there's hot wings challenge.

What's it called hot ones? Hot ones? You should have a corn dog show. Yeah, And it's just vibes. It's it's it's not even chicken chop Date where it's like, oh, look at us in this chicken chop It's not even hot ones where it's like, oh they get to a challenge. We're sitting on a big couch eating corn dog. And what is a corn dog if not a sandwich on a stick. That's from WandaVision that's from wand Division. All.

This is why Wegmans is number eight on top ten stores.

Lost Coach seven, best Buy still kicking, kicking ass.

I have so many amazing memories in the best By, such as buying a charger. I feel like everyone needs a charger, everyone.

Needs You're making fun of best Buy and I actually really do know. I'm not what the fuck are you talking about? Started off the sense I have so many special little memories at best Buy, and I was gonna say yes, my sister, and then you took a hard left into I love buying chargers from best Buy. Fuck off. Here's my memory of best Buy, of walking over from when my mom was at the Costco next door. I would walk over to best Buy when she was busy

Do you think that when they saw you came in, their heart sank because they knew that they were in for defeat.

Pone's here. Did they know your name? No? They were just like that little Asian kid is here to fucking fucking sweat and stomp sweat stone. Would you get incredibly sweaty doing it? Yes? It was. It was my idea of exercise. I didn't quite know my day. We were right about that. I didn't really know my way around the gym, and part of me like selling it to my parents. They would never buy it for me, but

Want to ask you. So a lot of people they asked the question of what was the first CEED you ever bought? Speaking of best buy, Do you know or could you guess what the last CD you bought was?

Oh? My god, this is an interesting because the last CD I bought must have been with the purpose of burning, like not burning it, reverse burning or whatever you call it, like uploading it to your iTunes to put on your iPod? Right right? Can I tell you what I think it is? What? Blackout by Britney Spears, WHOA? What was yours?

I think that if I had to guess with the last Oh, I know, but the Goga Goga goa?

What I was? I had a car rental somewhere I forget where, but I didn't have I didn't bring like a Bluetooth thing or whatever. I didn't bring like a a an Ox cord adapter thing. So about twenty five by Adele on CD to put in my car? Wow, my rental car to like listen to.

I think that if I had to actually say what was the last physical CD I bought, it had to be one of Kelly's albums, because I probably said to myself, like I'm gonna stream up it's help for numbers, I have to go.

To the store and buy the CD. So I'm going to guess that it was like, so we both all I ever wanted, We both love our Vegas queens. Yeah, that's beautiful and all. This is why best buy. This is number seven on the top ten door Doors Lost Coach, number six record record store. So this sort of speaks to exactly what we were just talking would I would say that record store invest by were very much It's not a redundancy, it's that they're very closely tied. I think

Like the record the idea of the record store short of speaks to another type of store that's going to come in a little bit later and that you really go in for the experience. And I will say some some some of the coolest stores I see in New York.

And honey, if you don't, if you think there isn't a place to get a fucking barbershop cut at the record store, coffee shop, stand up venue, deeply mistaken, deeply sorely.

You know that we shot my video for Everything you Want featuring Moon at a record store that was also a bar that also had a stay.

Thank god, because that video turned out amazing. And also that is the perfect place to shoot a music video where you need different kinds of sets.

We got there and we were like and was that moment Bowen of like can you believe we.

Have this space? And that is true of so many record stores across the globe. Thank you to Amba, Thank you to Rough Trade, Rip Tower, Record r Ipe Tower. We do remember you, We remember you fondly, and all this as well.

Well, this is why record stores are number six on Top ten Stores last coach.

Got out to twist and shout in Denver. I think it's still around. Maybe it isn't, I hope. So number five Lord and Taylor, talk about this because I don't really have any real.

So this is sort of like my Wegmans. Yes, Lord and Taylor was a place where my mom would take me to go shop. It was often like so Lord and Taylor was like us, like a little department store where.

They just had it.

I wouldn't call it like a ton of fast fashion, except like kind of would like it was a lot of like I think you'd go there to buy a duster. You'd go there to buy like some cheaper t shirts, like you know what I mean, like Lord and Taylor, like if you know.

You know? Sure? But Lord and Taylor really Nordstrom, right? And I was gonna this is what I was gonna bring up, which is why did Lord and Taylor make the list and not Nordstrom? And I don't want to challenge it. I just want to I just want your perspective on what makes Lord and Taylor exceptional enough?

And can I say, why can I respond to aft to you? I think it's because we made this list very quickly seconds before we started recording this because Becka said we had to do a bonus episode to court. And that's just the truth. That's just the truth, is that we just recorded with Tina Fey and then we were actually asked very nicely to please do our bonus so late. Yeah, because epis this episode is very late. It's it's very late, she asked. Beca asked us so nicely.

Has anyone ever done that? Like Becca? Yonce all in his mouth? Like Becca, do you hate it? Or do you like it? You? And Yonce is in your mouth all the time. All right, there you go.

So all this is why Lord and Taylor is number five. You know who's loving this list? My mom counts slow and just tagged me in a story.

What's this going to be? You wanna look?

Let's just look, Oh the picture, it's it's me asking a question about whether or not she's coming back to Ronnie.

Well, then, because I was at her famously after crushing the rumors, I'm not not beating the allegation.

Beating those returning allegations number number four Cosco.

Now, a lot of you may be wondering why this didn't make four might be a low placement. I think that to say this is like, this is almost up. This is almost a stump. But also, I didn't you know what you know what my theory is and why it was snubbed. That the card of it all, the membership of it all, you're right, years of it all. It's like we don't want people gatekeeping. There there's gatekeeping.

Can I say something? I'm calling you in this has gone to a very negative place. No, this has gone to a very negative love Cosco. I know you do, sister, and I know that what you're trying to say is that they should make it easier to be more equitable.

It should be cardholders non cardholders. That's even that's gatekeeping. So let's just say to those in charge, we want to share in the joy of this store. Everyone wants to come to Costco. I wrote a this is actually my thing. I wrote a sketch about Costco with Kim Kardashian. By the way, where we sang up with the virtues of Costco. They didn't say a peep. They didn't send us one beef Wellington, they didn't send us one two dollars dollar fifty hot dog. Again, that's crazy to me.

This is crazy to me that you would say that you and Kim Kardashian put Costco on the map.

Chris Jenner didn't do shit. Well, I don't think it didn't do shit about Costco. All right, I don't care. No one gives a shit that they go to Costco. They're moms. Of course they're going to Costco. I'm here a young gay man say it with the most famous woman in the world. Okay, boosting your signal and nothing. I agree with you. It's a travesty.

I do want to say, though, just to say how much we love Costco, because I do think this, this will be closer to their heart, you know what I mean? Like, if you want to actually reach out to tell you somebody, you have to do it with kindness.

You have to do it with kindness. And can we say, Costco, you have given us so much such as samples of food. There is no other store that is doing samples like Costco. There's no other store that is doing all the produce is in the coldest room in the world where you have to walk through the plastic fucking pedals that hang down from the door. Parking lot more like parka is what I need to be wearing in that aisle. Pitch eight eight? What's four plus four eight? How many letters

I think the song's fine how it is, And that is why Costco is number four on Top ten Stores lostcal number three. Thrifting, thriftingrift, thrift, thrift stores stores.

Yes, you feel you're a part of the problem. You feel you're a part of the problem doing your fast fashion. I'm talking to you, the reader. You can change. Go to a thrift store today. Greta Thunberg implores you to Berg. Sorry, you know who'd be so thrilled with you? Chloe seventy, Chloe seven, She famously thrifts her a little behind off. If you want to be a fashion icon like Chloe, get it together, hun head to the thrift store. Toss a bunch of stuff together. You don't know if it's

I'm laughing you being like this is so ethical, age that I looked at number two.

Or we'll get to that don't. Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know. The only note I have for thrift stores. Okay, let's do something about the smells. Okay, I know this is all secondhand, and this is all We're going in great lengths to make sure that this is all presentable and that people want to buy and repurchase these things. I think the barrier of entry for a lot of people is the smell. Have you ever donated to a thrift store? Absolutely, if you don't think that.

So all, speaking of my video earlier, everything I wore for my music videos and my styling for the album that I released last year called Havyhard of Christmas was all thrifted by our friend Melissa label is a thrifting icon at Molesey Mouse m U l s y us incredible vibes, incredible thrift talent and dressed me down with all thrift stuff. And I will say, as a result of that experience working with her on it, I've been very into thrift stores as a concept, and I am

Like a sponge. That's what they do and that.

Is why thrift stores is number three on Top ten Stores.

Lost Coach number two. Apple. I'm gonna give you the floor here because I think that.

You you more than anyone I know know.

They're way around an Apple store. I know exactly where the things are hidden. Oh, check the tables, the displayed tables. There's a head and drawer there, treasures on sl Sorry I didn't match your key your pitch. You were maybe coming for me a little for saying the ethics of Apple store is a little questionable. For sure, They're they're going carbon neutral by twenty fifty or something. We love Apple and there might not even be a world by then,

One thing that frustrates me Apple is so I have the new iPhone here right the charger.

You see USBC.

Okay, So can I actually ask my sister this question? Because I feel like I said, you might have the answer. If anyone does in my life, it's gonna be you. So there's the USB C. Now, this is the new charger for the new iPhone. Then you go into your car.

And some cars now have USBC.

But is there an option for USB that plugs into USBC.

Are some cords that go USB A to USBC. I gotta find those cords. They sell them, all right, go to a best Bye, go to the Hudson News.

I'm trusting you, girl, I have them. I have multiple cords. You think I can go to number ten on this listen? Get something I can get at number two?

They sell it at number two or they also sell the adapter. All right.

I get very confused and turned around with the USB d D of it all.

Excuse me, I just.

Get very turned around when it comes to different USB variants. I don't know why life can't just be more simple.

And I say that that's the point of USB C is that everything is going to be usb C in the near future. But this whole journey started me. I'm gonna say, like even seven years ago, when people were like, let's let's all we're making the switch to USBC, it's gonna take a minute, okay, and we're in this transition phase.

Now I'm feeling that discomfort right now at my twenty I'm gonna check in with you in about three years. I'm gonna say, you're gonna be like, don't I can't live without USBC.

Do you trust me? Do I tell you we got a new car? No, got a new car? What color? Black? Amazing? Be careful. People might get in and thinking it's an uber. Well listen, better that than my red car. I know, you know.

I was having a red Hound Wanda the Scarlet, which you can understand why. And I was getting tickets a lot because I think the car was too ostentatious. And I remember that's what Joel Kim Booster said when I picked him up one day. He said, I don't like this car, and I thought that was very rude, and then he said, well, it's too it's not your personality.

It's too ostentatious.

And then I actually I had a really understand the fact that he doesn't think I'm ostentatious.

There's nothing wrong with being ostentatious.

I wish he thought I was more ostentatious because I felt the car was very my personality.

As I loved that car, I was very sad to see it go the Apple Store. What's your favorite memory memory of Apple Store? All the geniuses I've met. Yeah, some really good people there. Unique, unique loving. That's what you are, tech superstars. That is why Apple Stores is number two on the top ten. Stirs lost culture, this is number one. And here's the thing.

We just had our guest, Tina Fe she left the studio and we said, you know, we're doing the top ten stores.

What's the number one store? And she said on three, one, two three, Target. This is I mean, you must have all seen this coming, especially by the time we got to number five, and you were like, they haven't said Target yet. You know.

One of the great things about Target too, is they're so seasonally on top of it. If you walk in there, like when of the clock strikes midnight on like even like Halloween, Thanksgiving, like they somehow they magically waved the wand and it is all the holidays are there and everything is there, and like, if you want a.

Reef, what it is? Wreathreth Why did I think it was because I'm so addicted to marijuana. I love reef for so much. Up top, you you understand. Target is one of those places that helps you understand the passage of time. Thank you God. It is the sundial of our culture. Yeah, and never going anywhere. Good luck. They have made some missteps recently with their pride stuff and they've caved. Oh god, these these crazy things were going

It's like, so when a corporation, like let's say, like Target or something like does the pride thing and they're like, we are all gay like, and that becomes very much the vibe like we are all gay like theo's pride

What does pride mean to you? What pride means to me? Is that level beyond tolerance acceptance? Yeah, what gets me is that pride you can't like it's like the heel turned the renagging on. It is like, is sad? Yeah, and that's all. I never hated Target for having pride stuff. No, I absolutely love Target no matter what. And I understand anyway,

There's a target in Chicago that I go to that I think I've been to on four different occasions, four different years to buy lube and lube only amazing because Chicago is one of those cities you kind of have a guy, you know what I mean, Chicago.

Be fucking. It's one of the most fucking cities in Chicago, be fucking And that's actually real culture number ninety nine. Chicago be fucking.

And luckily there's targets all over Chicago, it being a major city, this being number one on the list, and they have lube.

And that's a huge part of why Chicago be fucking is is that it's a It's a plentiful, bountiful I would say New York is not super. The targets aren't thriving in New York City the way they are in Chicago, the way that they are in Los Angeles. Driving in LA for sure, I know that's been in Chicago. I think that's a sleeper target town. And I mean you and I have both been on our separate on separate and separate scenarios, of course, but like we've both been plowed in Chicago. Absolutely.

I mean I have some of my most iconic sexual tales yea. And my book is coming out called The Sexual Tales of Matt Rogers. It's not what you think. It's much darker. It's more of a psycho sexual thriller. It's actually fiction.

But uh no, yeah, we've we've we've gotten it in Chicago. Was Chicago meth for you? Chicago was not meth for me? Where was where did you accidentally do meth? Queens? It was at home.

So if you don't know when, you're sort of just joining the podcast now and not years ago, but one actually did meth ones and had what you described as acrobatic sex with a man for hour.

Sex moving furniture around. I took the gene Traine home. Wow. Yeah, But and that's not an euphemism. No oh no, no, no, no ghb absolutely never ever. But you could probably buy g at Target, to be honest, some day they got it all. Hey, Target, here's how you correct the pride stuff. Sell g I want to see poppers on the shelves too. If you're gonna sell lube, why not sell poppers to put the g next to the men of mucile. Yeah that the gays can shit. Stop pretending like it's not

Well, I'm super happy that we decided to put this definitive list together as quickly as we did because we questioned nothing.

And that is how you know you've done something right. It's when something just flows out of you and you just need that sort of prompt from someone like producer Backround.

What happened was, in many ways, producer Becca was the fleet enema.

She got right up.

Our butts, she had her eyes, she got right up our assholes and said, you need to do an episode. And then we flushed out this list and now we're ready to fuck.

I can't wait. I don't know when I'll do it, but hopefully soon. Two weeks off I'll go to Chicago get fucked. That would be wonderful, be wonderful, have everything you need well.

Thank you so much for joining us, and yet another amazing bonus episodes.

I can I just know there'll be more. Yes, stay tuned for the next month.

With the song oh say you See Bye.

I have such a crush on him for the Twilight, ask you may hear more of that. Listen to the National Anthem of America, as written by Francis Scott Key. You were calling them a scot as Scott's Gerald, No a scot Keyr Scott Key, Bye Bye the King.