“The F*g Who Cried Shark” (w/ Matt & Bowen)

Look maher, oh, I see you. My own look over there is that the culture? Yes, Wow, lost culture, ding Dong Lost Culture. It's a very dropped in episode of lost culture. I might say for myself.

It's a pining episode because we're in the pine we are.

This is the sequel to an Honest Conversation, our episode from two years ago where we debuted Charra's art era. Wow, that was the debut. Would you say that we're in our Charis art this week?

I would say we were in our Typhlosian era.

What's that? Explained to all the readers, Katie's publicists and finalists and me.

So, Sinda Quill is the sort of fire starter Pokemon in generation two.

These are one of the new girls that I don't know about.

Yeah, well she's been around, Sinda Quill. Generation Generation two was you know, a while back, plus yours. You know, I know you're a pearist syndicual Quilava type flosion. By the way, my voice.

Is so sexual future, no putrid, it's putrid.

Well, I guess one man's putrid is another man's sexual. And that's the roctually rule of culture.

Which one is that rule of culture? Number seventy two.

One man's futud is another man's cultural sexual Yes, it is speaking of Putrid.

It's day five or six of the Fire Island Pines trip yright. That's right, which is really when you become aware of sharing a toilet with a bunch of people.

I've shared a toilet with Matt Rogers for an extended period of time, and I've never felt more connected to you.

You know, I really try to keep it cute for you in there, so.

Do I I really really, I'm like, let me wipe a little. I'm not wiped the bowl. Well, I'm wiping the I'm sorry readers. Katy's publicist s filist.

I'm having sensitive girls. That was of this.

If the seat is up and I see a little bit of you know, stuff on the rim, tw poop. It's not even poop necessarily, I'm saying. If the seat is up and I see like, tw piss, I'm seeing piss on the porcelain, I hate that. I take a little wat of TP, I wipe it, and I go I want my sister to have a nice experience in here.

Right. Well, you know that I'm not good for the environment and the water system because I always flush p that's not good. No, I know I always flush PE and I still use flushable wipes. Bowen looks so disappointed. He's like, I'm not although enjoy it.

I'm sad again.

Don't tell my boy friend it's not what he's made. What was I made? Of course?

Queens lock, the voice, the tiktoks and say that has really swept the world.

I'm having an incredible time belting new belting and all the new music. This week we got Queenie Lock, we have Selena Gomes Alvy Single.

Student is really good.

I have to say I'm bopping, popping, locking, dropping, Queeney locking.

Queensa locking.

You know, I went on the Selena Gomess Spotify and almost bought a Selena Gomes T shirt.

Now talk about this because I was with you right when you were about to add to car and then we had to like go and get up and get breakfast or something, and You're like, I'll do it later, and I was like, yes, please, and then for some reason you bailed.

Here's what happened. I really wanted to buy for the very first time in my life, Selena Gomez merch. I don't know what happened I just said I need the T shirt. I just wanted it. So I got on to the Spotify and you can they linked to the artist merch store, only.

Some of the merchant, not all of them merch. So it's best practice is to just go to the artist's web page directly. They keep going go right to.

The source, and that's what's best practice is. But I wasn't doing best practices yesterday when I went to go buy the Clena Go measure and then here's what happened. Usually, I have my debit card memorized so I can just put it in, but I had some debit card fraud. Should I sorry about this?

The person kept buying gift cards, which is such a clever way to really circumvent nine.

Two hundred and ten dollars like Nike gift cards, and I was like, oh God, and now I have to call and cancel the card and do the whole thing, which I heard is only a twenty second conversation with Chase. I heard they're great about this.

Thank you, Chase, Thank you Chase. Can we just say enough about oh hating on banks? They do a great service.

Banks are incredible, They do a great service. It's actually real culture. Number six banks are incredible. They do a great service.

Who else is going to hold your money, girl, And you know it's gonna be there. You know when there's a crash, they will have the money then because they because yesterday there was a crash. One of the members of my church, daughter had a crash when when I last night, she was ejected from the sun roof. She fell down into a neighborhood.

Did she live?

No, we're your seatbelt.

We're quoting Mary m Cosby, who's re entered the world stage. As it were.

First of all, I missed you deeply last week, as we I can't believe I wasn't here for like the best episode of last Coach.

I did feel some type of way about it.

It had nothing to do with you not being there. Let me guarantee you that.

I just like wanted to connect with Sarah and I said to her, I was like, you have to come back.

She's coming back, no question.

I actually think she might be the quickest return guest ever of all time. She's coming back, I think really soon.

Okay, next week she has a movie out, but she can't promote it, which we can promote this.

No, we can't. We can't. We can't because it's our friend. Did you hear what you just said? We can promote this, We can't promote at all. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm saying struck company. Struck.

It's the kind of the worst drug company of them all.

This is not of promotion. This is emotion for information.

It is you're so not invited to my bar mitzvah, my bot mitzvah.

Who's in that.

Sandler and his girls?

Holy shit?

And Sarah is playing the person who tutors them. They're you know, Tora passages or whatever not or whatever. I just I haven't seen the movie yet, but oh my goodness, the reviews are luminous. Everyone's saying that Sarah is the highlight.

We can't. We can't keep talking, we can't keep promoting it, we can't keep promoting. Well, this isn't promotion, it's just fact. It's just well. The strike is entering its forty fifth year, and you know, we're we're barely hanging on. In a way, I'm starting to get really anxious, anxious, trying to chatter. My teeth are chattering. Look at me as I By the way, we're in sort of a dark room dark room together. And Bowe and I have been sharing a bed, a toilet, and a memory.

Can I say we have I even really proud of the way that we have cohabitated. Incredible roommates, great roommates. We've shared a bed in a very peaceful, considerate way. I've been playing white noise.

Can you play a little bit of your white noise for the readers.

It's not even white noise.

It's it's like, it feels like it's like very.

Fluid soundscapes on an app called end del E N D E L and they have a sleep soundscape.

Just listen to this, you guys. And it's just every night he plays this.

Hold on not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet?

This isn't It sounds like Taylor Swift is about to hit the stage. Imagine this.

I'm already relying.

It feels like you're Asanda Aveda I aware something. Can we play it the whole time? Sure might?

We might be droopy eyed mama the whole.

Time during the pod. Okay, okay, so this is the episode of the podcast where we really drop in and this is also going to be a sleep podcast.

Yes, okay, so good I know it's nice. We've been really good roommates. Wouldn't you say, is.

That gonna get mad at us for this? I? Okay, should we turn it off? Turn it off? All right? As good as in theory it would have been. I just I don't want.

To give engineer Doug a headache. He doesn't deserve it.

No, I do want to say a couple things about the culture that I was experiencing while I was on my short sabbatical. Yes, I went to go see Kelly Clarkson. Do you want to explain to everyone what happened.

Yeah, there's a degree of shame or disappointment here for me personally. Matt had for months playing a big trip with a lot of friends to go see Kelly Clarkson in Las Vegas. We'd even mentioned it on the podcast that I was going to go. I was so excited. We told her to her face that we're going to go see her in Vegas. Yeah, you lied to Kelly.

Who lied to her several times?

Several times. Somebody lied to her, and that was me. I, as you all know.

Was.

Truly, truly, truly devastated by a bacterial infection.

Yeah.

I've never felt sicker in my life.

I mean, it reminded me of last year the Pines when I got and I'm just gonna come out and say this whole fever.

It's an illness.

I have been shy about saying exactly what happened, but I got a whole fever.

He got whole fever, which is a fever you get from consuming a hole in a way, yeah, is it fair to say that? Is that too much information?

I think that Basically what I'm saying is it has been. It has been that in the past I have performed a rim job on some hot guys. Hot guys you get sometimes, very rarely, you get sick from it. And this happened to me last year. And honestly, what you were describing like seemed to me like whole fever. It's not.

I have not gone anywhere near a hole in so long. And can we just say it's a miracle that we don't get whole fever more? As a community, we're down there and we come out on scathed.

Again and again and again.

Zack Alfish, that's God wants us down there, Yeah, because he would make us sick every damn time. And it doesn't happen.

It wouldn't feel so good if God didn't want it to period period, And that's actually real the coachure number ninety one. It wouldn't feel so good if God didn't want to stay. But anyway, I did go to see Kelly clark.

So yes, I was so sad to miss it. Tell us everything, you guys.

This Kelly Clarkson Vegas show was well. First of all, I went to the last one on purpose because I knew that that would be a special one. And yes, any Kelly clarkson'stan knows that this was the two ease set list. We had happier than ever, her cover of Billie Eilish, which she discussed on this podcast. We had Sobern Wow, which is one of the great Kelly Clarkson lost singles.

Talk about what makes you?

Why do you think she did it at the show because she knew that it was a special light. Yeah, she knew that it was the last night of the tour and that she had been fans have been clamoring to hear this one for a very long time. I included. I know she also did the song, didn't I she did? Didn't so good? So good?

Did she go.

Yep, she did, Dina.

I love that kind of a glitch to the matrix.

I mean, just she sang a moment like this, come on a song. She does not like to sing, but I think she said, you know what, I'm giving it to these Vegas people.

These fucking baggy people. M you included.

Oh yeah, I've never been bagging. You were baggy. I have to say I have. I'm on like this is August twenty ninth. Pretty much this entire month, I've been on vacation because i haven't had the time, so I've just swushed it all into August. I want you to know I'm ready to have a vacation from vacation.

Does that mean work?

I guess I am gonna have to get to work soon. Yeah.

And I don't want you to think about it that too much right now though you're on vacation.

I'm on vacation right now. But hey, readers, that you hit me. You never be on vacation, but you can't stop thinking about work, and then you think what's wrong with me? I just enjoy nothing's wrong. It's the world, sweetie.

It's the world, and I hate how it works out that way. If it's not work, it's kids. If it's not kids, then it's not kids. Then it's the marriage.

Then if it's not the marriage, it's the environment. Honey, talk about how little of the beaches. The beach is disappearing. Beach is disappearing in the pines. It's not a good sight.

And there was there was a shark sighting.

This was good. So yesterday we were on the beach sort of trying to enjoy the sun, the surf of the sand. There was a I'm gonna say one of the craziest gay guys in America.

One of the craziest and most tongue gay guys in age, huge penis, was flopping around with his genitalia, running around screaming to everyone, there are sharks in the water.

There are sharks in the water. Yeah, imagine just like a crazy guy that he sort of had like dyed blonde hair running around. He had such a big penis and wasn't uncut.

I was being polite and not looking because he came up to me and Patrick with an interest of our face.

And I heard what he said to you. He said, you better be careful the sharks in the water.

And I chose to believe him. So then we were all, as the kids say, sad, and we were sad for him, but we were studying the water and the waves, and half hour goes by and we were like, I don't think there's a shark.

We thought maybe he was just a crazy guy who was screaming shark.

And and people were gathering like there was There was a group of gays like gathering around him as he was pointing and screaming.

And then some people were like, I think I see it. I think I see it, and he kept remember, he kept like describing how big it was.

Yeah, he said, I saw the whole body, the whole body, and he like did his whole wingspan, kind of stretched his arms out. Why yeah, And we were like, there's no way.

So then he runs down the beach, I guess to alert Cherry Grove and all of your terry grow He went for really far down the beach and nude, nude, nude, and the dick was swinging in the air, and so all the gaze us included where sat a bunch of them are standing. We're sort of looking at it the ocean like I don't think we see a thing. And it was very much a situation of we've heard of the boy who cried wolf, but you haven't heard of the fasts who cried shark. The title of app for

And we dedicate this to that legend because guess what happened.

We saw it with our own eyes.

We saw the fin pop out and the scream. We scroam who?

I said? And I turned to some gaze that were seated probably about fifteen yards away. I said, did you see that? Before I even could finish the sentence, they said, oh, we saw it.

Oh, we saw we saw it. And this shark was It was in shallow waters. It was in shallow waters. It was I guess technically a sand shark like not Jaws size, but big, big enough to like bite your ankle off.

I think it could take your ankle.

It could take your ankle.

It would be an uncomfortable rest of the trip if you had added an encounter with this baby shark I think, which is a bop. By the way, thank you for.

Saying that it's time that it crossed over.

Well should we say what we saw on TikTok tell? Can I ask you a question? You are a TikTok early, Not really.

I look at it like once a month truly. Okay, but you're becoming more of a TikTok early because this morning we woke up and all we did was just swipe through z ways. Well, I love to watch the zey on TikTok. She gets it.

I mean I'm coming out as like a z way stand for sure, we've been staying. I mean, it's not even like I have to come out, but I'm just saying, Okay, I'm gonna type into TikTok right now, something a little bit special, which is Nicki minaj baby shark. All right, you're not gonna believe a capability of a and I know we're fighting them in the Great War right now. So this is yoo, your money, yoo.

I'm gonna get these kids how much, beat the Mike Trump and peach these kids how to be a boss.

Bitch.

Im na teach these kids. I'm by a Gucci bol just beat these kids. These girls almostings and maybe you must don too. Your man sawmma picks some me want a new booth nanky on a baby shark tracks? Who do I'm trying to find myself a jetty?

Start do do do when you can spit?

When backslaw, I got my nails going, No, I got a sharp claws that he hit the cookie and I now we got a shark. Joe. I tell Basis, I looked and send me the aaddy. Think you got buns and you're making me the petty.

You're professive to.

These girls that teach them how to be a patty? Who needs a baby sharp? And you got a baby daddy?

I mean, I mean, how does it do that? Can you explain to me? I can't.

I can't.

Possibly I'm not smart enough. There are articles that can do a much better job than me.

One thing Bowen has been saying to me lately is like look it up, and you've said the same to me. No, I always try to explain it, even if I don't know what I'm talking about. I always at least.

Want That's the reason why we're in this mess.

What's this mess?

This mess is this people who don't know what they say, trying to explain things.

People who don't know what they say trying to explain things.

That is why we're in this mess.

That's true. Oh my god, Now what do you get pulled up.

What I have pulled up. For some reason, Baby Shark reminded me of well you playing that beat that like sort of remixed today remixed AI thing. By now it will have been announced that we have our London date in September September twenty seven.

We're going on a euro tour, a small euro This is exciting stuff.

September twenty second will be in London, followed by September twenty fourth will be in Berlin, and then the next day September twenty fifth will be in Amsterdam at BAM Chicago. We're so excited.

Should we call this our Lundy Lundy Lundee Tour? Yes, last culture is thus Lundy Lunde life the tour, even though it's three different cities in Europe tour.

I think that's a great idea. I think that could be very very good. People remember it, and I'll remember it. We haven't been on tour in a while now, we haven't been on touring years.

It's because and the only reason why we're able to go is because we're on strike, so and Bowen Yang has off from Saturday Night Live, or so we think. Unless the AMPTP comes out of nowhere, unless Carol Lombardini comes swinging her big old dick and she uses it for good, not evil. Carol Lombardini used your big dick for good, not evil. Please.

Part of me feels sorry for the woman, because who wants that fucking job to like be like the rep for like all these fucking crazy people. I googled her and it wasn't what I expected. I haven't seen it just her face, you mean ya.

I'm just saying, I'm not saying it either way. I googled Carol Lombardini.

Actually, no, actually this is exactly what I pictured her to look like.

Can you tilt the camera towards me so I can see, Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

This is a Carol and this is a Lombardini down. Yeah, she's both first and last name, like God created. I closed my eyes and this is what I picture. A woman named Carol Lombardini who is the negotiator for every major studio in Hollywood.

She looks like Patti Lapone's sister that wasn't talented, so she became the negotiator for the.

AMPTP say that one more time.

She looks like Patti Lapone's sister, who wasn't she became the negotiator for the AMPTP.

The way, you were so right about that, that's why I needed you to repeat. Yeah, that's by the way. Let's talk about Patty Lapone.

She tore up the ice Palace the other night. Everyone, I mean, we.

Got all the hits, we got Metal Lark, we got everything, Roses we got. Don't cry for me, Argentina, but some people.

Don't cry for me. Argentina was such a moment.

I mean, all these fags new to hum with her by the end, and I could have cried when.

She goes, have I said too much? There is nothing more I can think of to say to you. You're giving Patty. All you need to do is look at me to know.

And she goes, this one's just because just because she did songs from a hat, she pulled out little numbers. Of course, did that cold school assm did it perfectly. She did that thing where she pulls out the number, looks at it. Yeah, I was in the show on Broadway and stuff said, and then just leads it, launched into it. I would say, and I'm saying this, this is not a pejorative and I swear to god this is not a pejorative, but we discussed it last night

Perfect is so boring. You want the little imperfections, you really do. I'm not just saying that perfect is overrated. Also, it's gotta be hard to like hear yourself in there. And the fact that she was so fucking good, Oh god, oh my god, oh my god, god.

She you know what she does so well what perform perform one And I can't be the first person to say it, to point this out, but she's so good at like holding the space and the silence and like, you know, when the person is not singing in the song. She's so good at being present and grounded that she's like comfortable, so at ease just staring out into the audience.

Yep.

While like there's an instrumental solo or something, it's.

Hard to remain connected and not look like corny.

She did that on Colbert when she'd sing Ladies Who Lunch and she I think she must have asked Stephen to sit across from at the table, and during like the instrumental parts, the two of them are just staring at each other and it's so intense and beautiful, and I'm like, that's fucking Patty.

Yeah, she was unbelievable. It is that like when someone is doing musical theater and they have to stand and sort of like just look at the audience. That can be a very tough moment of the audience. That is a challenge. But she was just in it. She was ugh. I said, this woman doesn't even need an equity card, and it's their loss. Really, equities lost, Equities lost, Hey, actors, equity, you lost this one.

You just walked down on the best mind pussy you ever had. I'm just quoting Sarah Sherman.

And now we're attacking a union. We're Carol Lombardini. Call me Carrol, Call me Carrol, because I think the actor's equity is a loser. Here, stop it. I think you're all losers what you did to Patty.

Now you've seen all the divas this summer, Patty.

Beyonce, Taylor, Kelly, who else I saw earlier in the year. I saw Adele, I did see Mariah at World Pride. I saw Kylie minogat World Pride. I can't believe that was this year, im Pride right at La Pride? Yeah? Sorry? What else? I saw? Chapel Roan Upstart, Oh my god, I've seen oh my god, I mean just numerous countless and I'll be seeing it Adele again in November. Yeah. I want you all to know that it won't be like this every year. I'm having my year of big concerts.

Why do you say this?

Because I feel like it was like this every year? Then what well, because I don't think we're gonna have a every year where all the girls are out on the road at all times. You know what I was thinking next year is like, who's gonna be on tour next year?

Like?

Nobody? They all went on tour.

This year, literally Taylor and Beyonce.

Oh, I guess you're right, they will be.

They are extending their tours, right, But like.

Who are the new girls that are going to go out on the road?

Nikki, we got Pink Fredy to Nicky she wants to tour again. You can tell she said as much.

You know who said they don't want to tour? Who? Miley?

That's right, that's right. Well, Miley has an interest. I relate to Miley in this way for once. By the way, I love Miley, it's just like I've you don't relate to her. I've never had a way in interesting. I've always loved the music, but I've never been like, oh, we have this in common, which is not what I want to look for in all my popstares obviously, But with Miley fine, she said something so true.

What does she say that was so true?

She said, if you are out on stage, if you're like really flexing your ego on that kind of schedule, you need to balance that with the same amount of rest. She's like, you need to like actually like close shut out the world for as like the equal amount of time and intensity.

Mmmm.

Anyway, I'm sorry, I'm getting serious on the pod.

You're getting so serious. It's supposed to be fun, you know.

But I think the best entertainment I've seen this summer. I'm not Fireland cough that's okay, hopefully not a whole favor cough.

No, no, no, no.

The best entertainment I've seen this summer, and it's recency bias, but I'm ready to say it. We saw a double header last night, a double headed double header Head of Lettuce at Cherry's on the Bay, then promptly at eleven pm Busted Queen Queen. Those were two of the best shows I've seen all year. I'm not joking. Their command of the audience is unmatched. I'm telling you, absolutely the

Heada let Us and Busted. That's my drag race top two. And I would want to see it.

I want to see it. I mean, these two, these two are so important. We just ran into some gaze this morning. We were like, oh, we wanted it. We were supposed to see her, but our house.

You know what.

We try to convince our house. But they were like they didn't want to, They didn't get it. Whatever you do, if you are on Fire Island next year or into the fall, if the Queens are still here and they are performing.

Till October, Busted said, Bust.

It's here till October, till Pumpkin spic season, she said, And you owe it to yourself. I mean, you really do. I cannot be more emphatic.

No, he cannot be more emphatic he is standing up.

I'm standing I was in Have you ever seen me happier?

No, you were having a one.

I was so happy last night.

When's the happiest I've ever seen you? Bow and yang? Oh? I know when you got the call about Saturday Night Live.

And you weren't there with me, girl, Yeah.

When you got I was there when you got the call and you were beaming. No, you said, this is my dream, this is this was not You looked at me and you said, I can't believe my dream came true. This didn't happen.

I I mean no, no, no, oh yeah, I'm telling you. One of the happiest moments I've ever had that you were there for was last night, not last well, last night was up there. But I think we did. I think we did a similar doublehead like three years ago.

Uh huh.

That was when like it was raining outside, so like Bust didn't feel comfortable ending the show, and so she kept us there in the ice palace. God bless her and her shell her for like three and a half hours. She just performed and she must have done Zadaran's the Zaturian's jingle. If you tipper the right price, she will do the Zadarian's jingle. The right price is twenty dollars, by the way, Sometimes it's more. Sometimes she's not in

Yes, can I ask you a question about the Fire Island movie? Can we get a little critical about it? And we're not voting and we're actually being very critical critical. I feel like they didn't they the people that made that movie. They didn't tackle who are those people? I believe the director was and on Searchlight the writer, star Wars Joel Kimbooster. Yes, Bow and Yang was in the movie.

Torrian Miller was in the movie.

Trian most for this.

Yes, yes, that's Torrian's Well.

They didn't talk about planters Punch culture enough.

I think it's one of those things that it would take another twenty minutes for a character to explain what it was.

So do you know what's in the Planter's Punch? I can't claim to all I should ask today when we go to tea.

All I know is that these girls behind the bar are fitting three different little fucking nozzle things. Yeah in their hand. Yeah, they're juggle laying back there. Yeah, it's surc to celest it's gotta be rum vodka and something.

Rum vodka and kill no but likendin Yeah, grenadine for sure, maybe a little oj in there. It's a soup.

And then what did me in last night was that we the whole table got rocket fuels.

Oh yeah, I kept ordering everyone rocket fuels, which is, by the way, a pinicolotta with a Ricardi one fifty one floater devastating. Yeah, and I was devo. You shouldn't have three, and so I did have three. Sody points it out the other day. I have a kind of a famous line. Do you want to know what it is? I think when I like a cocktail and I sip it, I said, oh my god, I love that. I'm going to have three of those.

I've heard you say that many times, many times. When are we getting your famous bloodies?

Oh? I guess I forgot to make them. That's okay, that's okay, you're well I have to say something. So it's something that's been passed on in generations in my family is like our ability to make bloodies. And then I feel like, and this is not something that I brought up on the episode where we had Patrick Rodgers on a couple weeks ago. But he sipped it one of my bloodies, and he said he looked at me and said, hmm bright.

Now do you think he meant that in a pejorative way.

I think he was saying there was too much brine in there, maybe too much pickle juice, too too much lime juice, maybe, et cetera. I don't mind a bright bloody. I want mine to be a little bit bright. Yeah, definitely, But I've been scared to make it for everyone, Nor do I think everyone deserves it. If I'm just going to be criticized.

Matt, you cannot let one person's opinion, yeah, get in the way of your.

Because otherwise, if I let one person's opinion get in the way of my talent, I would wake up every day paralyzed, suffering. Hey, let me look at me right now. And I want you to hear this. There's people out there that just don't like you, and they never will and you can't stop for them. Neither can I there are people out there bone they just don't they like, they don't get us.

I think they might be right, though. What if they're right?

That's what I ask myself. What if these people are right? No, see, you're letting them get to you. I think there's a possibility it was.

No, I've never had a bad bloody of yours. You cannot believe these men I find. Do you have me to confront you right now?

Then? Please? When you book a house that's really far away from the pantry, it makes it impossible for me to make my bloody.

I'm not in control of this, Matt.

How are you serious when you book one house, When you book a house that's really for away from the cry, I will I refuse to carry groceries that far.

Mah, you can't they deliver you, fool?

No, they don't. Yes, do they deliver you?

Pay five dollars, they'll deliver it.

Seriously, Oh, I'm getting on the website right after it.

Says if you weren't even in the damn movie.

Well, they didn't go into the pines adult enough in that movie. This is just me being critical of the movie. I'm not promoting the movie. I didn't think there was enough in the pantry. No, and there wasn't enough Planter's punch culture, and there wasn't.

Enough busted culture.

Yeah. I would have loved to see some uhst, some real working girl queens because they got the one from drag Race Peppermint, and I said, you know, this feels like a money grab. You know, this feels like they wanted to get a big star, and I would have loved to see more authenticity. It's my biggest criticism. Well, there's always the sequel. Do you think that that will happen? What do you think is that, Hey, this is just me,

I can't talk about that at this time. I am on strike. Oh okay, now what There's a lot in the county love this picture. Oh yeah, we're in a house where there's a lot of lovely, tasteful Tom of Finland and Stevie Nicks mixed with some Stevie Nick's print.

Yeah, there's a lot of really good art in this house. Yeah. The gase like really really really really did a great job. If we're gonna see erotic art. I would say I love butt centric and nut penis centric. That's personally how I feel. I love like an artful ass like this guy right here. I aspire to be like him. I think you're very close. You think so got the mustache. I might be back in my mustache bag. Huh you think I got that ass? I think you have something

No, hey, I think you've brought back fingering into the culture.

I love it. Can I say I open invitation to anyone? Get No, Matt, you don't mean that you know bowen Yang. One thing that you don't know about bowen Yang everyone is he is. Uh.

I'm in a prude era.

You're not in your prudo, You're in your imask era.

Honey, game change.

Have you ever worn the Meredith marks? I feel I have.

I have, and then I got a little. This is not a knock on Meredith or the manufacturing. I'm just like, I'm used to what I'm used to.

Right right right, and these industrial grade.

No, it's not it's this iemask has perfect cushioning on.

Like my orbital bone.

And there's a nice sort of concave thing for your eyeball so that they're not pressed down.

They're really taking over, Like I was just on vacation with my sister and she wears them, and then she had an extra pair.

So you can't trust the way the sunlight comes in. You're really right, and so I need I need to really eliminate variables here.

Yeah, you know what I mean.

Please don't criticize and expose me this way.

No, it wasn't a criticism. I just want the readers to get to know you as well as I do. I'm an open book. Imagine this. I get to share a bed with Bowen Yang, and I will way to tell all I some booty sounds in the night.

Come on.

He just rolled his eyes and said, come on. He said, don't tell them about my body.

I'm gonna have to release an album booty sounds. Oh my god, an.

Album called That's really good double on Tiger.

I can't believe I get to share a bed with the Matt Rogers, sort of the big heart throb gay America.

You think I'm the big heart throb of Gay America. I think it feels like too much to take on. I think you are. I think you're wearing that mantle. Oh my god, I know what's gonna happen. Now. I'm gonna get into drugs. No, no, I can see it. Now. My head's gonna get big. I'm gonna get a little bit of success and I'm gonna get into drugs. Oh no, first wed then cocaine. Before you know it, I'll be on the beach with naked hung fags sharks. One thing I'll say, And I do want you to direct this.

I I told you?

Oh my god.

And then the credits roll as you still scream yeah.

And all you hear as the credits are rolling and there's no music, it's just the sounds of me whimpering, sobbing.

I told you, now, what's going on in the Is it just a tight shot on you? We're not seeing like the victims of the attack?

No, I think we see it in graphic detail. What I would like you to think about as the director of this movie, and I do think it's gonna win awards because I think it's actually important. I think it's about how sometimes.

Like belief in truth is so affected by who it's coming from.

Right exactly, And that is the classic Boy who Cried Wolf. And really this is an adaptation of The Boy who Cried Wolf, just like Fire Island. And this is not promotional, this is just on Facebook. It was an adaptation of Salesman. Yeah. Well yes, And we can talk about the ways that succeeded and it failed. For example, I thought there should have been a lot more planners, should be a lot

Belief, belief, faith and who.

We listen to. And you know what they say, look.

To the Hung, mister Rogers said, in times of disaster, look for the Hung.

Look for the Hung. Where it is they who speak the truth. Only the Hung, only the Hunghu, Only the Hung will inherit the earth can run, can run the Hu. We're mixing a lot of culture here, run down the beach.

This is the thing we do best on those cultures. Just we take our threads of culture and we really braid them into gorgeous little pleats.

Do you want to talk about how you have become a great fan of the show The Morning Show? And I would like to know what you think of the trailer for season three. Have you gotten to through the second season?

I'm midway through the second season.

Tell them what you told me about the first season of The Morning Show.

I was in my pure illness delirium, feeling like there was no hope left in the world.

Which is the perfect place to be in to receive.

Truly and for me to press play on the Morning Show and be like, all right, let me give you this show a try to be taken back to like twenty eighteen. Maybe I guess that's like the time in which this this is a period piece and this is the year it takes place.

It was the year of me Too.

It was the year of me Too. And the way it hooked me I have not experienced since Damon Lindelof's Watchman.

Oh My.

I was like, I'm in I don't know what it was, but I think, oh, I have a feeling that the moment that it hooked me was the build up to Reese Wetherspoon is Bradley Jackson talking in her drawl and her red hair, very like as southern women have, walking walking up to walking up to Jennifer Aniston, Alex.

What's your last name?

Levy, Levy walking up to Jennifer Aniston, the moment when they first meet, so loaded, so well performed, the writing, you know.

Touch and go, but in the most beautiful way.

Absolutely, you never know what you're gonna get, and it's I prefer that too, and in just like that, which we'll get too later, where I'm like.

Congrats on their third season. By the way, they're coming back.

We need to talk about this.

I mean, there's so much more story to tell. What I really what I think every episode of and just like that is wow, more there really was so much more story to tell.

Yeah, yeah, really I needed more. I needed more.

I need a five year plan for these two characters that I at this point don't care about. I have to say, I am so excited to see how episode to episod so they turned Nya into a different character.

And she's so beautiful to see a character have her mind completely wiped clean and rebooted every episode so that she's a new human being.

I think the third graders are doing something really smart with her.

I blame the third graders and not Miss Karen Pittman. No, back to the Morning Show is brilliant.

Karen Pittman is blameless. It's a Rula culture number ninety one, Karen. Karen Pittman is blameless. Honey, she's not in the writer's room. If she were, then would change nothing, Karen. If they give you the opportunity to go into the writer's room, change nothing, Karen.

It's not you.

You know, she's a poem yanks dam.

She's very lovely on social media. Yeah, I love the girl.

Hey, I just want to reach out to Karen and say I want to talk to you too. Karen, you and Matt would get along swimmingly. She should come on, Karen, You're invited. And here's the thing, we're tossed out. Everything we've said about both shows you're on. We just want to have a conversation. Girl.

It's just but I actually I really do feel differently about the Morning Show than I do about and just say the Morning Show. No, the Morning Show has The Morning Show saved saved me in that moment and that deep dark moment, that dark knight of the soul. I was saved by the Morning Show. I was like, thank God, this show excess.

It was. You don't even understand. Actually, I think the readers do understand more than anyone. How excited I was when you texted me and said that you were finally watching it.

That was you were pacing. You were pacing.

I literally I was responding to bones text and I realized I was up out of my chair pacing around. I was like, this is so exciting. You know, I've watched the first season like through four times. I will just watch it.

That's so interesting to me because I don't encounter a lot of shows anymore that have a lot of rewatchability. To me, I still revert to my Grey's Anatomy episodes, like stuff from like fifteen years. I don't nothing in the last ten years has been like, let me rewatch.

You want to know what though? The Morning Show is kind of giving earlier anatomy.

Absolutely in many ways, in many ways, in many ways.

In the pulp of it, yeah, the workplace of it all. No one can stop fucking each other. Did I ever tell you what my mom used to say about Grey's Anatomy early seasons when we watched together. She'd say, and this is my Katrina impression. She go, you know what, this show is crazy. This one's having sex with that one. Now, this one's having sex with that one. It's like enough enough, this one's sleeping with that one. Now they're all sleeping with each other.

Katrina doesn't know about gay culture.

I said, my mom would hate the gay community, and she would hate the gay community. You know what my mom said about Gray's Anatomy, She said, I hate faggots.

No, that doesn't seem like meng She wouldn't say that, but my mom, she.

Told me that well, I never told you this, but the first time I ever met Meng, she looked me in the eyes and in a perfect English accent, because she's been lying to you, she said, I.

Hate that she's been lying to me about what he.

She doesn't speak like that.

Oh my god.

She looked at me up and down. She said, I faggots. I'm really sorry. I'm sus I'm so sorry. So I had to say to your mom, seous.

And then she said, I'm just well.

Just flying with you, fucking faggot. Oh, she's she doubled down on the word yeah, and I went and she said, get used to it. Clown. She called you a clown. That was the worst thing. She said, Oh my god, perfect English, perfect English. My god. I gotta call her, confront her, confront her. I heard you are a liar. Mom.

Do you wanna know what she said about great anatomy? Yes, she was so hung up about Sandra. Oh, to be honest, oh, really, like she doesn't look like a doctor. I was like, mom, what do you mean? She goes, she's too confident, She's like she's too like comfortable, like she doesn't look like a doctor. And then she like widen out the school. She was like, none of these people look like doctors, like a little mom.

They're actors, actors who played doctors.

Really good looking people and sometimes doctors are and sometimes they aren't. But that's okay. Either way, it's okay, and it's this is a TV show. And she said, I don't believe them. That one looks forty. She's an intern.

She was right.

Who was she talking about the tr night, I don't know.

So she didn't like the show. She stopped watching it.

She liked the show. I think we tried to get her back on, especially during Code Black.

Oh no, so that was you and Yang watching television with your mother. Well, and that was the show you would all watch together, because that's very much how it wasn't well.

I think Yang went off to college. Like season two was her senior year of high school. So like we got like season two and then she went to college. And then I would probably watch it season three and four at home with my mom, and I try to hook my mom into it by being like, look, mom, like the main character's mom has Alzheimer's Like yeah, no, La, La has grand my hes alzheimer is, Like, we should watch the show and.

It's just like, this is not real. And I was like, yeah, well, it's a television the television show that's so fascinating. I'm actually just sitting here thinking to myself, how the fuck did my mother not know I was gay? I referred to Desperate Housewives as quote my show back then, like a fifty eight year old woman. It's always in hindsight that you realize what the gay culture is, especially in

But here's the thing. It was on Network TV on Sundays, Like you could easily sort of take cover behind that because it was like, well, everyone's watching it, right truly, I.

Mean everyone did watch it. You gotta look at the numbers. Look at the numbers, you see they were over twenty mil. We could take cover behind American Idol because everyone was watching it. We could take cover behind how Desperate Housewives? Yeah?

What else?

Lost?

Lost? Absolutely? I wasn't a lot girl, as you know.

Yeah, that's all I know is I think you would have loved Lost all I.

Know is we have to go back. I saw the first season and you weren't hooked. I was hooked. But back then, kids, you had to get the DVDs and those were expensive.

Well, then they would do reruns. They would do summer reruns. I told you about the moment of culture that made me psychic. Culture was for me summer reruns. It was season one, episode six of Lost called House of the Rising Sun. It was it was Daniel Dakim and Young ginkm It was Young Jin Kim's episode.

It was What's she doing?

She was on a show called Mistresses for a while on ABC, so she did work, but she didn't go on to a big career like DDK, not like d DK. D DK the stud one of the nicest men in the world.

By yeah, oh, I'm sure he's reached out, loved Fire Island. Really we can't.

This is well, that's not promotional, that's just facts.

He had nice things to say about he did.

Well, what kind of the things did he say? Sure, it's weird. He reaches first phone and then looks at me and goes, this is weird. Oh wait, I wanted to ask one more thing. Oh, one thing that's going on in the pop culture that we haven't really talked about with each other because I was on a break and it's really heated up in the last couple of weeks.

We briefly talked about this with Sarah. With Sarah, Yeah, I haven't done too much reading up on it. Part of me feels like it's Bethany paying up the ass and pr just to like get this movement going. But I think it's really hard for people to see this and not go like this cell feels kind of self serving for one person, yeah, for two people or however many people, it's if it's Bethany and Nini, it's like.

I have no idea who it is actually. But she's certainly like come out and been out from but she claims to have over one hundred people that are like in the industry that she's going to come out with and like take these people down. And now she started to say things like I am a woman with nothing to lose. She like once you're on TikTok, like in a close up saying, I am a woman with nothing to lose and there's.

Nothing and you're frightening than that with you and you're it's untrue.

You're a wealthy person. Yeah, but power. Here's my problem with it. It's like if you just watch her videos, her rants and everything, and she's like talking about the state of things, it's like one thing that she is not doing is owning up to like her responsibility in any of it. Right, She's like, you sign these contracts and then it's unbelievable what they're able to do. It's like, yeah, based on a contract that you signed, Okay, so you were able to read it beforehand. Yeah, you were able

What's the reckoning that she's saying is that she's like people are finding out how exploitative it is, because it's we've known that.

I feel, I mean, anyone that's not an idiot has understood that this is a game of exploitation from the very beginning.

I don't want to go into like what about isn't, but it's like every contract is exploitative in almost any situation, right as far as entertainment goes correct.

And also it's just like, I mean, here's the thing. You make a deal, right, and even if that deal is with the devil, it's still a deal. You still got something out of it. And I just don't understand, Like, so she's essentially used these platforms to get her own platform. So now she's got this huge mouthpiece and everything, and she's just making all these vague claims that when you actually boil it down, I can't believe lawyers are actually telling her like you have a case, and you're right,

Contract you signed them.

And so if you want to say, like these contracts need to change, like people need to be aware of what's in them, a I bet a lot more people are aware than you think.

Yeah, and be what even is changing?

I just don't understand what the endgame is or what the case is. Yeah.

My big question is I can vaguely understand the case. I don't know all the ins and outs, but I don't know what the endgame is at all.

I think it just she wants to end reality television.

Yeah that's interesting.

Yeah, I mean has anyone actually asked her like is your endgame here? I wonder?

Yeah, I don't know about her.

I don't know about her.

You either know about her.

Also, it's like if you actually watch the Old Housewives, it's like watching her talk to Kelly ben Simone, like watching what she did to the way, and it's like, you're gonna be the one to be like we need to stop like the terrorism of reality television. You were the biggest reality You've ruined. You were a villain on these shows.

Yeah, yeah, so I just think it's rich. Yeah, you've runed many of these women's lives.

Anyway, I guess. Listen to Bethany's podcast, the biggest podcast in the world. Love that for her. It's time for I don't think Sohney.

You think so, yeah, don't you. You kind of went off on a big one with her. Yeah, I applaud you.

Hey, listen, I'm gonna do it. I don't think so Honey. And this one might get a little gnarly. Okay, okay, okay. This is I don't think Sonny. This is our one minute second where we take something a minute that something in culture.

This is not rogers. Don't think Sonny. And as time starts now, I.

Don't think so Honey. Feet and what can happen to them? I look down at my feet and I'm just gonna bravely come out here and say it. I am recovering from athletes's foot and being on vacation has done something absolutely horrible and disgusting to my feet. If you are interested in feet, you're gonna want to stay away from mine. If you are a padietary sort of foot doctor, I really need you to tell me what's a good I guess foot cream because I cannot get rid of my

Baby, ooh baby, that's one minute.

I don't think you tried.

I'm glad you tried it, though on him.

Have you done foot?

I've not done foot. But every now and then I look at someone's foot and go, that's a good foot.

Who do you think it is? The best foot in the house.

You're gonna think I'm crazy. What I think you've got really good feet? I'm not like this is insane. You want you to look at it?

You and Patrick Rotters have good feet, can you hear? Look in between my toes. I'm not going to do that. Come and I am doing all that. I want you to come here. Just get up and look at them. He's getting over and you can touch them. Look in between. Look see now, I'm really I take it. Now. Look at the other one. Yeah, that's a good one, is it? Aren't they horrible? They're literally so bad.

Matt, Matt has some rush for you. I think I think they're rotted and gutted. I think mine are quite nice.

I always thought you had good feet. You have a thick foot.

You know who is a gorgeous foot with gorgeous arch, A gorgeous arch. Aaron Jackson, Aaron who has a funny story. He had a dance teacher in college who walked around the room, looked at Aaron's feet, looked at his arch and went, what a waist?

Where is he? Can we get him in here?

Let's get him in here, Aaron? Aaron, Maybe he's by the pool. Maybe maybe he went on an.

Around and see if he's by the pool.

Whereas he is not by the pool.

Oh, Jesus. All right, hold on, all right, So Bowen is gonna go grab Aaron. Is Aaron here? Aaron? Did they leave? Eric? Okay, so he's just gonna go grab Aaron Jackson because Aaron left?

Left?

Is no one here? People here? Oh, but none of them have good I don't want to bother them. Who was up there? Who? I think Patrick? Patrick was up there? Patrick was up there? Was Dave up there?

I think Dave.

Oh, Dave has to catch the faery. Oh no, oh, we have to we better wrap up.

We better wrap up.

So boone's gonna do is I don't think so, honey. And then we have to take a bye of our friend. Okay, So, Bowen, this is your I don't think so money. This is your chance to really against something in culture that's just not for you. You ready, bon Yang? Time starts now, I.

Don't think so, honey. Towels in the laundry. This is how just to relate this to Matt's I don't think so, honey. This is how mold starts. This is where mold begins, and it doesn't end there, because it doesn't end anywhere. Only God getting molled out is one of the hardest things that humanity has ever attempted to do, because towels in the laundry are undriable. No dryer in the world can get towels just right. I don't care how state of the art it is. I don't care what kind

These towels.

I think we got to figure out solutions and towels because these towels, these terry towels, are impossible.

They are scourge on domestic life. We need a new solution, mean absorbent towels that can dry easily.

We have the technology. The government's haiding it from us.

And that's one minute. You came for the government.

It's always about them.

Ooh.

Someone last night was that head of lettuce and had asked what they did, and then this person you know, answered, in an appropriately vague way, said she said infrastructure. He said government, and the whole room went ooh, the government's not having a good moment right now, mm hmm.

And then he said infrastructure specifically, and had said there is no infrastructure.

This whole country's falling apart.

Yeah, And when she said that she ate how many letters are and devoured ate plus four bo eight And with that thought, we're going to wrap up this episode, which is called Fags. He's a shark, the fact who cried shark, the fact who cried shark. Yeah, I'm proud of this episode.

Very proud of this episode. I think it was honest, honest, real. It was an honest conversation, but honest in a different way than you know, Charles art Era honest conversation was this was we're on vacation. We're a little bit fried from our month. We've had big months, both of us.

And we've seen and done so much. Did I talk about Kelly enough?

I think you talked about Kelly.

It was. It was one of the best concerts I've ever seen in my life, and I was so emotional throughout. You can go to my Instagram and see how emotional I was. I was weeping. The only thing that would have made it better was my sister's presence. We'll have more, but the bacteria got them, the bacteria got me. But we will have more opportunities to go to concerts. I love you so much. I'm so glad you're with me. I love you, dear do you have been my dearest roommate.