"The Beyoncé Narrative" (w/ Ruby Karp)

I don't know what to do with you. A good point. My grandma and your grandma was sitting by the fire. My grandma to your grandma, I'm gonna say fire you're talking about Hinda. I like go on date jagamo ja don Lost Culture Rista's calling. Okay, we've been little readers. Okay, we've been little readers. Matt and I are in a little book callub. But we've sort of fell into this very organically. Absolutely, I mean well to be you influenced me. Okay, So I woke up this morning morning at seven am, um,

and I can't stayed up until midnight? Why seven am? Just because oh I just want to I had an early night. Um, but I even stayed up till midnight to refresh my kindle to see if Hillary Rodham Mclinton's rod Ham rod Ham Clinton's new book what happened or what happened was that likes to call it what had happened? Was everyone's posting this Fred Willard thing like what happened from a mighty wind Um? So uhum are mighty wind

fans out there, all our Christopher guest fans. I just read that first thing in the morning and really like spent all my extrame. I was like supposed to get some writing down, but all I spent all my time just reading it, and I was like, God, this is

a really fucking good book. Yeah. I went to the Barnes and Noble, and honestly, there wasn't the frenzy that I thought there would be, right, Like, I really thought there was going to be like a whole table of like only what Happened books, Like I thought this was this huge moment, but I had to look for the book. Yikes, right, this is like a big moment. Anyway, I'm enjoying. I'm enjoying.

It's it's real juicy, and she's getting real. She has a whole fucking paragraph sentence that says I would have been a damn good president, and I was like yeah, and um she drops and LaMotte Mary Oliver Layman Is references within the first like forty of the book and what do you want? I want to say something as a segway, I was reading two books today actually okay and books okay, dual reading, okay reading. Yes, I was

reading two books and both of these books. Both of these books, Honey referenced Kelly Clarkson's hit What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Strong? Okay, because you know I was guide when I was reading Earth Hates Me Today by our guest Ruby carp And this book is in stores on October three. You can pre order now, Honey, and also want to say Ruby is the host of We Hope You Have Fun. It's a stand up storytelling show

at the Beast every month. It's the second Monday of every month, and the next one is in October nine. We just had Drink Drining Gruffalo on the show. That's amazing. Oh, Pioneer, Pioneer and she's seventeen years old. She's a she's a junior, senior, junior, senior, rising senior at LaGuardia High School. Yes, come on, come through, and she pointedly references Stronger What Doesn't Kill You by

Kelly Clark, and so does Hillary Clinton. So you have this in common, your two nasty women, and we're very excited to have Ruby. Hell, oh my god, it's so thank you so much for coming here and being here. Thank you so much for having me. Okay, Ruby, I want to kick things off, just just to get this out of the way. Is it annoying at this point when people keep like referencing your age, I mean, like

you're only this old? Yes, great, okay, thank god. Okay, so we will not We'll talk about your life obviously, and like where you are at this juncture. But like I'm Matt, let's promise, okay, sure, but like, also marvel enjoy people marveling at your young age while that happens, because also, like you will get to like you'll get to this sick place where you'll hit and be like, oh my god, I'm in my mid to late twenties. What's happening? And then you'll be truly and then I'll

miss my youth. Yeah. Absolutely, so enjoy it while while but of course I understand, like it's going when people sort of coddle you into being like, oh, you're here baby, and just like write off. Yeah. Well it's also like, yeah, I'm young and I wrote a book. But it's also like, no, I wrote a book, Like it's not about my age. It's about writing and being funny and all of those

great things strolling. A lot of wisdom in the book, and a lot of really very cool people have read this book and given amazing like quotes it Amy polar On on the cover of the book, Queen Amy got to shear, she got missed, Natasha, you got the other and she's got a glazer in the four and the four glazer. Come on. So did you get to hang out with her? Was it just like I've known Alana since I was pretty young? Actually, I did broad City Live before broad City was this big thing that it

is now, which is insane. They're so awesome. Yeah, So can you explain, like how did you get involved in the comedy community so young? Like how did this come about? Well, my mom started a magazine called Bust in the nineties. Okay, yeah, that's so cool. That's so cool. Yeah, thank you, She'll be My mom's coming to watch this. Soon she forgot. She made me a cream cheese bagel and she forgot

at home, so she wanted to get it. But yeah, my mom started bust and so she in like the nineties, was partying with like Amy and Matt and all of them before they were famous and like Tina, like all of them before they were big deals. So because they're all like relatively the same age, so my mom and

them would we're all just like genuine friends. And then she was around when they first started UCB, and that was also right at the same time she got pregnant with me and she had me, and we would always be at the theater just because we were like supporting our friends and stuff. But then when my dad left and moved back to Australia when I was three, my mom had nowhere to go with me because like she

was a working woman alone single. I don't have any siblings, so it was just like my mom and I. So my mom would always bring me to UCB and like throw me on stage with all of them while she would go cry in the green room. Oh yeah, so I was like three, and they would like pull me on stage and just like swing me around and We're like, look a child, and they would like do improv with me. I wasn't like conscious of anything, but that was happening.

And then slowly I just got really accustomed to constantly being surrounded by adults. My god, what an origin story. Yeah, so you were just really thrust into that atmosphere. Yeah. So I literally like grew up just being comfortable on stage and doing improv and literally just constantly being surrounded by comedy. Oh my god, and your partners were these legends. Legends, yeah, which I so did not know at the time. The first time I did ask Cat, well, I did Amy's

Sparkles to the party when I was seven. And then right after that, because I guess I was like finally formed human being, she was like, you're ready to do as Cat. Wow. So when I was yeah, no, not improv um. But when I was eight, I did monologues that ask Cat for the first time. And you know, at the time, I was like, oh, yeah, this is

just me telling stories like with my friends. But now I'll meet people like in my improv classes or at different job kind of things, and they'll be like, you know, I think I saw you do mogues when you were like ten, and I was like, oh my god, I'm so sad. No I need I mean that is like the most precocious of precocious things is to be on display, is to like like open yourself up like that and

to all these strangers. I mean no, I mean like, yeah, of course it feels embarrassing, but that's like, I mean, that's so cool. They're really like that's that's awesome. Yeah, I mean. And the thing is like it was never like a big deal to me because I was just like, these are this is just what I've grown up doing. Then I got my own show when I shared doing

that when I was like eleven. But then it got to a point when I was like fourteen fifteen where I was like, oh, this is like a profession that people do, Like people pursue comedy because for someone, I was like, I'm going to be a rock star, I'm going to be an actress, And like then I slowly started realizing like, oh I don't want to do those things.

I actually just want to do writing and comedy. So then I actually started like really developing comedy and really actually trying to like work towards building a set, building an essay of book things and then here we are, here we are, So did you go out and Mike, like, and how does that work? As like a fourteen fifteen year old? Yeah, I can't get into any class, I'm saying, yeah,

yeah exactly. So to this day yeah no, no, to this day, yeah, I've only I honestly have not performed at that many clubs in the city, mostly just us be the Pit, I did the Slipper Room, and I did like one other place, and really that's it because I can't get in anywhere else. That's wild. That's gotta

be crazy, that's gotta be crazy. But you're all, you're also like, that's like the Beyonce narrative, like she's you know, she's walking on stage and heels at fourteen And let this episode be called any comparison to Beyonce, I will take.

Can I tell you my favorite story about Destiny's Child and like them getting whipped into shape by Matthew Knowles, which maybe this is like a crazy story, but I don't know if you guys knew this, But he would take them out on like five mile runs and he would have them sing in harmony the whole time, and he would drive in the car next to them if they is true, and he'd be listening to the harmonies

to make sure that they were tight. But so that so that when they were dancing and performing on stage, it was like nothing. That it was like nothing to me, right because they that's I guess how they truly learned how to control their breath, which, to be honest with you, is not so to do it, because that's really what it is. Is just and now you see and you see Beyonce perform at the Super Bowl and you're like, how the hell would she be the machine that she is?

She was literally getting run either to it either your dad makes you run five miles and harmonize with your with your friends, or your mother thrust you wanted the stage at UCB with all of you and there we go. Narrative. So so like is in your comedy, in the comedy that you do, that's gotta be Do you talk about stuff in school? Do you talk about like stuff that you're you're going through? It do feel like a pressure to talk about like bigger things that maybe other comics

are talking about, Like talk to me about that? Yeah, Well, my thing is from a very a young age, it was very clear that on stage there were lines that I, as a young person, couldn't cross. Like when I was like fourteen night and I started like being interested in like boys and stuff like that. I and I would like tell a story or two it would make the

audience so uncomfortable. I wouldn't even I was a fourteen I wasn't like doing anything like weird, but I would just like talk about like, oh, yeah, I have a crush on a boy and this is what happened to mamma. And the audience would feel really weird because they'd be like, I don't want to see a young girl talk about boys and like getting bras and stuff like, because it because for a bunch of adults to watch a child

on stage, they feel weird. They're exactly so, especially when I got like older, like sixteen seventeen, it was very clear, like, oh, I can't really talk about hookups or some things that happened that you know, all teenagers and everyone went through when they were my age. But for some reason, I've found that it makes people uncomfortable to like have me explicitly say all those things. So I discovered that pretty young.

So my mom and I came up with this thing that we call ellen degenerous humor, which is we can't curse, we don't talk about sex or any I'm not that, but like, we don't talk about sexual things, and we keep it clean, no potty jokes or anything like that. Because for me, it's like, I want my comedy to rely purely on the fact that I'm funny, not based on me cursing or me talking about something inappropriate. I

want my comedy to purely be me being funny about things. Yeah, and that's going to pay huge dividends as you get older and as you do free up that space, because I mean, you're you know, you are setting these limitations on yourself for very good reason. And I'm not saying that you're setting these restrictions in order to develop something

very specific, and I mean that's that's all you need. Well, sometimes it's actually kind of a good idea to develop inside this box because because it actually you you place rules on on yourself without thinking about the rules that everyone else will taste. No, I developed actually my own way.

I've heard about a lot of people who actually toured doing a Christian comedy and then when they come of age, and they get old enough, they break out of that and they they feel the freedom and they feel the individuality, talk about whatever. And because they had so much training, like playing to a specific audience or like doing whatever. I don't know, it's just it's for some reason just kind of sets them free in a way. Bass Layer, So Ruby, you should toward towards some Christians totally, My

Rabbi would love. Yeah, absolutely, yes, of course. Wait what was your tour passage? It was Jonah and the Whale. That's a good thing. It was a good one. I did it based on the Veggie Tails movie. Oh yeah, how do you know about this? Oh right, okay, So just this is a this is a quick story. My sister who's twenty nine, um, just had her adult butt mitzvah. Oh that's the thing. That's a thing. Well she she

threw it. She just wanted the party and wanted That's exactly my twelve year old self did that for the exact reason exactly what your Oh was a musical theater. I didn't have a theme, but if I could, it would have been musical theater. Good And I'm actually really glad that you didn't have a theme because My sister didn't really have a theme for her. Themes are a little a little weird. Sometimes they get a little weird.

To get a little weird, and you're I feel like you're going to look back and it's always going to be embarrassing. I wanted to wear a pants suit. That is the thing I wanted to do, but I didn't end up doing it. That's okay, And this was what five years ago. I think, yeah, yeah, what's the end, you know what. That's awesome and I'm glad that feels very contemporary for you not to have a theme. My sister did not either, but she, um, yeah, she just wanted the party and it was so fun. It was

christ She married a Jewish Man. She married a Jewish Man. She wanted to converge. She um, she was doesn't mean anything to you. Oh my god, No, I'm being sope being that person. Um doesn't mean anything to you. When I when I say that, she she's such a Charlotte. No, I'm the worst. He's referencing sex in the City and oh I love sex and the City. It was like a Jewish Charlotte, like a thing. No, Yeah, she's um, yeah, she's a she's a Charlotte. I completely understand. Okay, great,

and I'm so sorry that I had to ask. And I feel like such a fucking oh no, no, you were because honestly, there's people haven't seen sex people that honestly was before our time as well. It was a little bit. I mean, that was literally the first show where women all sat. That was like one of the first shows passing the Beck told test there already even trying. Yeah, yeah, yeahs and so like, and that was a rerun show

for us. Well, here's the thing, Ruby. We were told that you know everything, I mean, like you that you have a pretty that's a lot of pressure. Not everything. We were told that you have a very broad scope of popular culture. Yes, would you say that's true? I would say that's true partly because I like to spend my free time in my room watching Netflix series. So I just feel like I am cultured because I just

like have seen mostly everything. And your mother is prolific magazine editor founder, you know, and so you are you are passed down this sort of pop culture. Yeah. Well, I also just like I've always had an interest in

what's happening in society. Yeah, the book, Yeah, well, because you know, a lot of the reason I really wanted to write this and agreed to writing it was because there are so many people talking about teenagers and writing my teenagers and being like generation whatever we are like all these things about us, but like no one knows anything about us really because no one's living through it.

We're really one of the first generations to truly live through Snapchat and Instagram and Facebook in its like ultimate prime, where every single one of those apps is a big deal. And I felt like I didn't want to be that person who was like I understand teenagers. I'm with you, guys. I literally truthfully wanted to just be like, no, these

are my experiences. Here's some humor, and like here some advice. Right, So you're saying that you wrote this book with um this this sort of point of view of it not being tied necessarily to like this very esoteric, like mysterious part of team culture that is like you just want to write something like, well, the other thing is like people don't seem to understand that, like, yeah, we have social media, Yeah there's all these new things, but at

the same time, like we're still teenagers and you all were teenagers once and really, yeah, they're social media, but it all comes down to the same five things everyone else was freaking about when they were teenagers, which is parties, whoever they like, school, their family, and then whatever their extracurriculus are, and getting into college. Like truly, other than that,

there's not that much that we hear about. When I was reading the book today, I was thinking to myself while I was reading it, you know, there's not too much in here that's very different from what we went through. I think, I mean, just to run through some of the topics. I mean, yes, there is like and there is like a new lens on it, of course, but you know, it's about social media bullying. There's a lot

about it. You know. She has a large section about just unrequited love and like going through that, so I guess like my question for you. And then there's also topics which we didn't even talk about as teens, which is, you know, embracing feminism. Oh my god, you know, and I think this is amazing for for people not only your age to have your voice say to them, but also it's cool for people our age and older to hear that this generation is talking about these kinds of

things and and also having those dialogues. So, Mike, to you is who do you want to read the who's the audience for this book? Who do you hope will read the book? And what do you want them to get from it? I feel like I want a variety

of different people to read this book. I feel like the most one of obviously, the ideal person to read this book is a teenager who feels like they have no one else to talk to, because a lot of what being a teenager is is no matter how many people love you, no matter how great your life is, you still have moments where you're like, wow, I have no one. Even if you have the most loving family, even if you have the best friend in the world,

it doesn't matter what. Whatever you're feeling is so extreme in the moment, but everyone tells you that you can't feel those feelings. All adults will just be like, your hormonal things are just happening. You're just none of this is going to matter in ten years. But the thing is it matters now and obviously, and I say this in the first chapter of the book, none of my

problems are real problems. I am totally privileged, like none of these things are real issues, but they feel really real to me, and I'm going to talk about them. My god. I mean and that never I mean not to like sound too ominous, but that never goes away, that always stays with you, and like those those problems will like ripple out into your life in the future.

That has implications on um future work that you're going to put out like on every just no, I mean, yeah, I totally because when you're growing up in those four years in high school, that is the most you're going to grow as a person in your entire life. You are going through the most changes in those in those four years. Then you will ever that fast because yeah, you grow up and yeah things happen, but the way you are raised, in the person you become because of

those years literally affects the rest of your life. And people don't realize that because people are just so obsessed with statistics and what's happening with teens and what's cool, but no one's taking time to be like your is the actual emotions and what's really happening in the mind of a teenager. And I think that's why I hope that people that our age and older read it too, because that's an actual account from someone that's your age. And to be honest with you, I was thinking of

myself earlier today. I was like, when's the last time I talked to a seventeen year old and really talked to them, not just like a so how school, Like he really had an actual conversation because people don't think that teenagers have minds because they're just like, oh young people. But like, no, like all of my friends can have

good conversations with people above the age of eighteen. Now that being said, well, before we got on the air, we talked a little bit about um you know this year year you're we talked we're talking about Hillary's book, We're talking about you know, politics and general in some roundabout way. We're talking about how this year you're going to be taking the ap US Government in History or U S History or is the government US government? Well US Street was last year. This year's US. Yeah, right,

there's a GOV. So UM I also took this class, and I took it in two thousand seven, So this was UMU when Obama was rising. You know, this was when it was either going to be hillaryal or Obama. And you know obviously we were faced with McCain and I actually Sarah Palin didn't become a thing until until college. But it was I remember thinking to myself, I wonder what my ap GOV class would say about this, because I actually went to school with people who would have

defended someone like Sarah Palin. Now this brings me to this question. So you're in these classes right now where you have these kinds of opinions from everyone about politics. Now, I from my perspective looking back, I sometimes think to myself, like, wow, how insane that a group of seventeen year olds were asked their political opinions. However, I think what I'm actually saying to myself is wow, how insane that a group of seventeen year olds were so conservative? Because I went

to school is so like, what's it? What's it like where you know, you'd think it was progressive, but it's actually rather conservative. So what's it like right now? What's the political climate right now in that class, in your in your GOV class. Well, the thing is about I've I'm growing up in New York, which is the most liberal place you could possibly go to school, and then

you're going to LaGuardia, which is, which is even more liberal. Yeah, Laguarty is a performing arts high school, so everyone at the school has dyed hair. Everyone's very culturally aware, very politically correct, like, you will get attacked if you say the wrong thing. Ever, now with that being said, in these ap GOV classes, it is rare that there will ever be someone who is not a Democrat or doesn't

have very liberal democratic views. But what happens in these classes is someone will say something in the wrong way, something that it has clearly good intentions comes out is weird, is worded wrong. They get attacked, like people go off on them. I had a girl in my class today talk about how we can't attack Trump supporters because then we're stooping to their level and that they're people even though they like have believe what they believe. And you know,

I like understood what she was saying. I mean, like I kind of agree in a way. But there were some people in my class who were like, oh, so you support racists, you support racism, like all this stuff, And I was like, okay, let's take a step back,

let's breathe a little bit, talk about something else. But that's it's either it's so funny because teenagers now are almost too politically correct, like we're so socially aware to the point where it's like people don't even it doesn't even seem like people want to be politically correct anymore for the sake of actually being politically correct. People just seem to really, yeah, people like want to be like, no, I know more about feminism than you do. And it's like, Okay,

we're losing touch of actual activism. Because activism and if you're actually not a racist, and if you're actually a feminist, you want you just want equality. You want people to just have good morals and be good people, which a lot of people aren't, which is their thing. But people get to a point where they just they start attacking

each other. And really, if we want activism, if we want to make a change, we need to talk to each other and have a conversation and be open minded and be allowed to listen to each other's opinions and take them in and have a calm, civilized conversation. But now we're all so self righteous and so entitled to our opinions that no one can seem to be able

to take in what anyone else is saying totally. I mean it's so interesting that you say this, And because I was talking to this good friend over the weekend. We were taking a while in the park and he is this sort of and I would say his name, um, but he is he is this pretty like, you know, uh, prolific sort of presence and like someone even call him a social justice warrior, not even pejoratively, but just like that's part of his like um on social media and

he's just he's just well known in that regard. And he was he even realized and I means, I'm not saying his name because I feel like maybe this is like a sort of a semi semi controversial thing to say, but he was just like I feel like everyone is

just losing their minds, even on our side. Like he was just at this pride event, uh in this and in the small town, and then there was just a group of like there's a group of sort of like activists who were there who went up to him and questioned him and they were like and it's just like a normal pride event, talk like talking about like being

a person of color who's queer. And this group of people go up to him and they're like and they're just and what he notices that they're they're they're trying to find their words, and they're these young people who were just like struggling to be like to just figure out what to say to him, to be like, so how do they were like, how do you stay in

your lane? You know? Like how do you how do you stay awoke but stay like you know, And they were just sort of like pulling these these borrowed terms or these past down terms, and it's like and I think what this person realized was, Oh, everyone is a little bit confused and a little bit frenzied because we're

all figuring this out as we go. Like everyone across all age groups, across all like you know, political backgrounds, whatever, Um, they're losing how to express themselves because I think we're still figuring out how to and I think that that applies to everybody well. Also, so much of what I talked about in the book, and so much of what's going to help my generation really make progress in activism is having a voice and using that voice to your advantage.

But if people are afraid to use their voices because they're afraid of getting attacked or being called aggressive or any of these things. People aren't going to speak up because they're afraid because they don't, they're afraid they're going to be wrong or be politically incorrect. But the thing is, if you're politically incorrect, let's have a conversation about it, let's talk about it, we can, let's work it, let's

work through it together. But instead everyone has just converted to this fear factor because everyone's so afraid of saying the wrong thing, when really we should say the wrong thing,

get corrected, and then work our views out. Yeah, I mean, it seems to be a problem that you know, the right wing doesn't have, because it seems like they are able to just march in that like someone who's like really happy, really proud to like put a Confederate flag on their house can and and who doesn't maybe understand

what that means. We'll just proudly walk next to a member of the literal KKK in the streets, and it seems like nothing goes through their heads, and no one else on their side is gonna be like, hey, that's actually hey. Yeah, they're not going to call each other, they're not having these discussions. They just mobilize and go and it's I think a reason why they, for better or worse, seem to get things done, whereas on our side it feels like, you know, still to this day.

I mean, with what Hilary says in her book about Bernie and the way that the Bernie people are responding to her even now, and the the the jumping down on Kamala Harris before she can even be a candidate. If feels like it's it's a huge reason why we can't get things done is because it seems like it's stopping conversation from happening totally. And the other thing is like everything I'm saying is directed towards people who like

have the kind of views I have. Like, obviously, uh, it's a very different conversation if we're talking about someone who is actually a racist or actually a misogynistic person. Everything I'm saying is I know a lot of people who really want to be politically correct, but they just don't have the information or the resources to understand what that means, or what feminism really means, or what it means to be a racist or not be a racist.

So everything I'm saying is directed towards the people who actively want to be politically correct and be people who have views that are progressive. The people who don't have those views, that's another conversation, because those are people who have been raised that way. They've been raised that way the way I've been raised to be a feminist, and

you can't change me. If if someone came up to me and calmly started to speak to me about being a being anti feminism, being racist, I would obviously be like, absolutely not, you psychopath. But in terms of making progress on the liberal side of America, we can't make We will only make progress if we do it together. And if we're splitting each other up because some people are more liberal than others, that's not progress. That is actually going backwards. It's it's it's now. I do have another

question about your APO class. Y'all know you have a test to take at the end of the year, right, So here's the deal. When they put that test in front of us at the end of the year in

two thousand seven, I looked down at that test. We hadn't talked about any of it come on that, but we had so many conversations about whether it was going to be Brock or Hillary, and like whether or not like whether or not we should be pro choice, Like like literally my teacher got us off one day and I was like, Okay, everyone who's pro choice, get on that side of everyone, and if we're on decided and

stay in the middle. He did this about issues and then maybe the worst thing a teacher, he was not good um and oftentimes, like I responded to one thing in your book, you were talking about how you had this teacher. This is in the book and this is so fucked up. So so Ruby has this Actually you know, do you have to take a break. Let me let me say this tidbit and then we'll take a short break.

So a teacher of about thirty years old, you said, um, was speaking with you and then recommended to you that you not be too feminists because it comes off as unattractive. Yes, yes, this happened. She also called me a dumb blonde for two years, just so you all know. I'm a brunette. But I was a child. And the thing is, like, the thing is like these teachers are everywhere everywhere. I mean I had them in my high school on Long Island, like you had them in your liked New York New

York City middle school. New York City most progressive middle school you could possibly go to. Don't be too much of one of those feminists because it could be unattractive or aggressive. Yeah. I was taking a woman's suffrage class at the time, and she pulled me over and she was like, yeah, because that was like the social studies course that I was taking. And she no, she was like she was one of my teachers. That was one

of the teachers in my school. And I was like, yeah, I'm really excited because I'm taking this awesome woman suffrage class. And she pulls me over and she's like, just say, you know, you know, men really don't find feminists attractive. You're gonna don't become one of those aggressive feminists, you know. And I was like, what, let me tell you. I had a teacher at one time in high school. Um, and we were we was just gotta say this, and so listen. We were talking about and Culter, who was

literally the garbage of the that were earth. So she had said something about how like all all the Jews in the world needs to convert to Christianity, like like you know, her whole m o, like she just was going on about that, and I was talking about how sick that was. And my teacher at the end of class pulled me aside and he said to me, the thing is, um, everyone does need to convert to Christianity because then there won't be any more cancer in the

world and sickness. And I was looking in his eyes and I was like, oh, you're like a religious like that. You know that's against the law, right, I mean, it was fully against the law, I said. I didn't know how to handle it at the time, like I kind of just like okay, and I left the room and I think I ran down the hall. I was just like,

that was so freaking scary. That's shocking. And you know what I mean, if there's any come up ins here, both of both of those teachers are being put on blast now and your teacher is being put on blast in your book. So there you go. Oh my god. We'll talk more about the book and we'll talk more to Ruby Carp, who I'm so loving this converse, and we will talk more right after this short brief abbreviated break. Okay, jam and we're back with Ruby Carp. Now, Ruby, we

want to talk to you. We want to ask you the question we ask all of our guests and we're doing this in act two, which is great. Um, which is Ruby? What is the culture that made you say? Culture is for me? This is the the culture that made you decide to step in a cultural direction? You said to yourself, Wow, I love media. I love film, music, television, the stage, cultural life. What have you? What have you m?

It's a weird question. For me. It was definitely being raised by a single mom, because the thing is, when you're when you're, when you are Rory, Rory and Laura, like Gilmore are, you are living a very different life than basically everyone else. Because the thing is, I grew up always being encouraged to talk about my feelings and tell my mom everything that was happening in my life and tell her every all the drama that was happening

and everyone that was being mean to me. So from a very young age, I just I was open to talking, and I was open to discussion and wanted to have conversations with people and really learn about them because my mom would do this thing where when I was little, even though I would be talking about nothing, my mom would just ask me about my day and let me just talk for as long as I wanted, so that from a really young age, she was always encouraging me

to express what I was thinking. That's such a great answer, And then it's so gilmore girls and and because you're because you're saying that, that made everything else all into place for you, like your love of movies, um, you know, comedy, everything else. Yeah, self expression in general too. Sometimes I think maybe because there are two parents, when I'm asked how my day was, it's like, well, it's a different

story at all. Yeah, because especially when I was younger, it was like it was no matter what was happening, was my mom and I against the world. Like my mom was my best friend. Now it's like my roommate. Like obviously she's still my mom. We fight all the time, but now it's like we're sisters, like we know each other so well to the point where it's like there's no question of whether or not I'm telling her about

my day. She just knows everything and not. And the thing is I tell her everything in that she trusts me to have no curfew, to come home when I want because she knows where I am because I'm telling her what's happening. So the relationship we have is based in trust, and you're very honest with her, And I'm very honest with her because the thing is like, I'm not a bad kid, so there's nothing I really need to hide from her. And all of the things that

I'm doing are teenage things. I go out with my friends, I have fun nights, I go to the movies with people.

I write books, like all teenage things. And my mom also, like, you know, I work pretty hard and stuff, so my mom lets me be rewarded with not being very lenient about curfew and coming home and stuff like that, and really having that sense of independence, having my own room, really being my own person has made me who I am because without that sense of independence and really learning what it means to be alone but still have a lot of love in my life has really just shaped

me as a person. That's beautiful. So you're you tell me you're studying drama at LaGuardia, but acting is not necessarily like the yeah, well for me, I just kind of I feel like in terms of breakout start like ales and stuff, I really I mean, I'm not going to speak for the future because like I don't know what's going to happen, but I really I love writing, and I also love television and really studying what people

react to and what works. And I feel like if I'm going to act and be on TV, it's going to be my story or what I like, my character that I'm writing for me, and that's the direction everything's going in anyway. So you're what are you liking on TV? Now? What shows are you liking? Well? I don't really watch that much live television. I really watch a lot of Netflix.

So what have you been? Okay, So right now, in the middle of Handmaid's Tale, it is crazy hands it is I am so oh my god, so much is happening. We're also discussing it in my home class right now in school, which was so awesome. It's so awesome, right. I wish I had done that. I always for that when I was in high school, Like you have a class where we could? I mean in my apt class one time, my Aplow teachers like exposed us to Stephen Sondheim.

We started talking about Sweeney Todd and then I went to go see the movie and I was like, I wanted I couldn't wait to come back to class talk about it. I have a whole class about stuff like, Oh my god, it's it's so great because we just have conversations about all this stuff. It's so fun. But I you know, I've been binging Parks and rec for like the second time, the Office for like the fourth time. Uh, you know, Secret Guilty, Pleasure, Gossip Girl, Guilt More Girls,

all those. Weirdly, I like go in and out of Gray's Anatomy. Sometimes it's like it's back when it was good exactly. I'm trying how I Met your Mother. I just I'm trying everything that's on Netflix. So you really are like trying to like broaden your skip like it was really cute. We are trying to like get this good media diet of stuff that's come that's that's not necessarily of your time. And I'm not saying I'm just saying that that's like that. It's like, yeah, like it

was on like when you were certain. It's like when we watched like it nailed. But The Gray's Anatomy when we were sixteen seventeen absolutely nailed me to the wall. But that's because that was season two and three. Well that's that's essentially like because for me, it's all about finding my voice in terms of writing, because my voice in terms of stand up comedy is very self deprecating, like my humor is. My My view on humor is why offend anyone else when you can just offend yourself?

Because everyone, especially now, everything's a trigger for people and everything brings things up for people. So why make fun of other people when you can just make fun of yourself when there's no risk of And also it's just fun. It's so it's so fun to just like laugh at yourself and tell funny stories of things that happened to you. But in terms of television, my I love My favorite movies are like Francis Hall in Manhattan and Moon Rise

Kingdom and movies like that. And I really want to one day find the media between Francis Hall and Parks and Recreation. Oh great, specific good? Oh, I mean like yeah, because that's like a crazy median that's like where do you find that one? I mean, I love like I've been watching Girls because I think the way it's done, directed, written, everything about it is so exactly what I hope to

be one day. That's great, It's oh yeah. And because the thing is, there are so few and that's why master of None there are so few people making comedy shows that are based in truth and based in real things that the way real people actually are, And like, yeah, there's this thing of like comedy aturs now on TV and um, and I feel I feel like Girls I get paved the way for the show. But in a sense, you know what I'm talking about Insecure and Secure. I

was going to suggest it to you. Have you started watching Insecure. It's a show with Withsa Ray. It's based on our web series called Awkward Black Girl. It's essentially like I don't want to like dumb it down this way, but it's essentially Girls in l a Like it's like an all black cast. It's really really great. It feels it feels like like what would you describe almost like the second season feels a little bit like Sex in the City, a little bit like there's just a lot

of love triangles. It's really fun to watch. It's um, it's just it's yeah, it's one of them. I think you really liked the show. It's also a really and I don't know how much of this you've experienced in high school and stuff, but it's a really good examination of what it means to be faithful and what happens when someone cheats and the psychology of that. I just

think it's really good. And I actually tried to watch it a year ago and I kind of didn't give it a chance because I just didn't buy it totally. I wasn't on board. But I gave it a shot and again like two or three days ago, and I love it. And I've and all of this week and I was binging through Atlanta and that another show. I think it might be sort of the closest thing that's in that liminal space between Frances Hat and um Parks and Recki's head where it's like it's it's it's funny,

it's funny, it's observed. It's also like so so textured and real in that way. I think you would love Atlanta. It's like there's some like crazy fucking ship that happens in the show. And but I think I think you would love it. I think it's if you can handle Handmade's Tale, you can handle Atlanta. It's it's really really good, and I think I think it's like operating that space that you kind of want to go for, yeah, exactly. Also,

like the new season of Master of none. I loved because it tackled real life problems, both socially like politically and stuff, but also just real moments like he was freaking out about one girl and then ran into his ex girlfriend who he hadn't thought about in a while

on the street, because that's the thing that happens. You're just like, you're freaking out about something and then you run into someone who you totally don't expect to see but I have thought about so much, Like those are That's such a real moment, that's such a thing that happens,

especially in New York. I feel like that. I just feel like there's so many moments in the show that are so and like when he's freaking out about the girl and then he starts writing a pros and consolist and then he's like, wait, no, I like her, Like there's nothing I can do about that, Like just like little things like that that it's like the show is so funny, but then there are so many moments where

he just lets the show get real. And I think that for so long, a sitcom was like a funny show where people make jokes and like sit around and drink coffee. But like now we're finally realizing that comedy is about truth, and comedy is based in reality, and without that based reality, there's no comedy because there's thing to make fun of. So I think the fact that we're finally making shows that appreciate that and that like

really bring that out is such a big deal. That's so cool that that that's that this stuff is resonating with you especially and I'm sorry to bring up your rage again, but your age, you know, it's like that. But that's very encouraging, and you know, it's huge, it's huge, it's huge, Thank you. It's such a good time for everybody, but like especially for like people who are going to be sort of you know, not defined by this by this era, but like sort of it's going to text

urize there. Also, when you're seventeen and when you're a teenager and young, you're feeling everything you're feeling for the first time. So everything you're feeling is so intense because we've never felt it before, which is why your first love, your first heartbreak, your first everything resonates with you so

much because you've never experienced it before. So your emotions are so heightened because you don't know how to deal with it, and you become so impressionable with what you consume media wise, because for me, Grey's Anatomy was like the first show that like fucking blew my fucking mind.

I was like, this is the best show I've ever seen in my It was so crazy, and like now looking back, it's like I have such a nostalgia for it, but it's like it's no, no, no, I will say the second season of it, the production value was way higher than what they give it now. Now it's fucking Meredith Gray standing in front of a green screen and she's like, it's great to be in front of a waterfall. It's like they had they spend no money on it

now because didn't none other have to. Back in the day, it was like remember that Nember, that fairy disaster, Oh my god, that wasn't forget Yes, definitely, but like that was like the last throws of them having a budgets sucking moment. The fucking Code Black episode where there was a literal explosion in the hallway and that was a real explosion, and I was like, how about like two people got stuck on a pole and one of them had to die? Episode I ever watched it, like, this

show is amazing. Yeah, and that girl that that girl should have wanted my to but didn't. Wait, I have a question for you, Um, do you have a lot of gay friends in high school? But I mean maybe you don't. Maybe you would be surprised at how many kids are straight at a performing arts school in the drama department, because because you think they haven't come out yet, or because you think they're legitimately straight, and right, I

think I think they're legitimately. Here's the thing. I I have a lot of gay friends because I went to Performing Arts Camp, which is so different than performing art

high school. Because the thing is about Performing art high school is that a lot of these kids either aren't out yet or honestly, because the thing is, it's not that I don't talk to people or don't see people outside of my department, but it's really hard to have classes with people not in the same department as you, so you don't really really mingle that much outside of your department, and really in the drama department, especially in my read, there's not that many kids who are out,

which is fine, which is totally okay performing arts camp, though the ratio of straight boys too straight girls. Actually, no ratio straight boys to not straight boys is zero to one million. That's going to be frustrating for someone. Oh,

you have no idea, You have no idea. I think there were maybe maybe two straight boys at camp who I don't even know if they're straight, but they weren't even that attractive, and they got girls all summer because they will continue to keep putting themselves in performing rule number nineteen of culture. Straight boy going to arts camp um um. But that's see. I ask you that because I feel like if I'm in high school and Rubies there, I go befriend Ruby. Oh yeah, think that's how I feel.

I feel like you'd be a great friend for a gay kid. I mean, you're just You're just an interesting female and honestly, like I mean, I mean I'm not that's not saying that that's all it takes, but it's like that you gravitate towards that. No. But I feel like, also there's a lot of people in high school that are like they're super smart and dynamic, but there that's also closeted, you know what I mean, Like that's another thing that stays inside when your closet. It's about your sexuality.

Is you also don't say how you feel and don't say what you think. So it's just interesting to talk to you and hear all all of this because I think about myself at that age and I think, wow, I was not even close to being ready to be myself and say the things I thought. Well, the thing that's hard about the high school is that people make their friends and then they don't really feel the need

to go outside of those friends that they've made. Like I really didn't find my group of friends until like last year, and even then I don't really have a specific group. I kind of just have friends that I like who I hang out with, and like they're all they all hang out with different people. The problem with

conversation is I don't say these things in class. The impression, the impression people at school half of me is I raised my hand all the time because I always have something to say about whatever book we're reading or whatever US government topic we're talking about. So people at my school are like, oh, yeah, that girl, do want to that the one the teacher's pet, when really, like I could care less about what a teacher thinks of me. I want to like have a conversation and like discuss

Handmaid's Tale and like really talk about Trump. But the thing is everyone's so focused on seeming cool and not seeming like they're too aggressive that when people get very passionate about their points, everyone's like, oh, yeah, this guy again. Making friends in high school, it's not that it's hard. It's just difficult to make new friends outside of friends you haven't had for a while, especially when you know you feel like everyone has decided whoeveryone is already exactly

what I what I will you? You'll go to college? I mean, where are you? Where do you want to go? I'm only applying to six schools. I'm applying early action, which just means I'm applying early. It doesn't mean anything. Um yeah, it's not really. I'm applying early to Emerson for comedy because I have a comedy major, which is awesome. Yeah, and it's in Boston. I can continue comedy and stuff

that would be awesome. But I'm applying to Yale, Wesleyan, Columbia, Columbia College, Chicago, Northwestern USC, and Emerson And that's it. And don't worry. Um and college. I grew up at I grew up in the city and I don't have the money, go go to Emerson, go else. Okay, let's pray I get in, guys, you will be fine. Wait, okay, say those school again, because those are all pretty good comedy college I want to be. I want to be

I want to be a comic. So, like I'm applying, the thing is, there's no comedy major at schools other than Emerson and Columbia College Chicago. So if I go to scoop, everyone learned about my college future life. So I think I'm in a major in film. If for those schools that I don't major, when did you go to Emerson and see and everything already? Yeah? So you toward and when you toward? What did they say? The

comedy curriculum is like like who teaches? They're like what, Yeah, it's um, it's a sketch writing curriculum, so bit not like not the whole thing, but basically, you have a class in improv, youw class on history of comedy, of a class on writer's room. They basically teach you everything you need to know and help you craft a portfolio to go into the real world and just pursue comedy. There you go, hug. So basically, I went to school for writing at n y U and you had to

fight to get into classes that were like that. And I went to school for it and NYU and literally major with a concentration in television writing at ny U Tish dramatic writing, and I didn't even ever get to take a light late night writing course because it was competitive to get into and I was in the department and I was alphabetical the way they decided who got the classes that my name started with R. So yeah,

by all means you should totally go. Yeah. A lot of people have been telling me mixed things about majoring in something like comedy, because the thing is, I mean, you can't learn comedy. You're either you are. You have to either be. You have to learn it obviously, but you comedy isn't a thing that you can take a class and you have to learn it through doing it. You because you form your stand up act by trying

get out on people. But at the same time you have to master your craft and you have your gaining so much practical yeah, exactly, And like you need to build a portfolio, you need to learn how to be an ensemble you need to learn how to not think you're the best person in the room. Like, there are a lot of things that you need to learn. A lot of people have been like, no major in something else, you'll get material for your comedy. But I don't think

it's about that. I think it's about really learning the format of writing and sketch writing and all of the different kinds of improv and teams and all of the different things that go into it to really go out into the world and be a formed like understanding comedians. There is an academic and classical training knowledge to it. There is a history of comedy. People who take who A, take theater b f as, they have to take history of acting. They have to learn all of that. Comedy

is the same thing, just more concentrated. It just feels frivolous and you're like, oh, you don't have to do that comedy. It's actually there's gonna be a lot of commiss listening to this wishing that they could have gone to or could still go to Emerson. I mean, we have some Emerson alums who have been on the show that we're comedy pats. I don't know if comedy major is like literally a new thing. It literally started like a year or two. Yeah, that's but it's still so cool.

Like can you imagine going to one class and it's like sketchwriting and I have friends who are freshmen there and literally they were like yeah, or eight am tomorrow is called like why did the chicken costs? Across the road? And it's literally a joke writing class, and so I would I can't put a price tag on a fucking professor telling me or an adjunct whatever just being like, yeah, um learned to be humble you askhole, Like if someone had told me that, Like I don't know, just like

way ahead of time, like what huge? Also someone being I'm like, you don't need a spec script of Parks and Wreck. What you need is a writing example of your own ship, which we were still writing fucking rocks when we were in college. Yeah, it was like all about the specs, all about the specs for an existing show, and they don't look at that anymore. It's wild. Well it's also it's not even about because you can't you can't teach someone how to write. That's a natural thing.

You have to do it, but you have to learn about who's done it. Before to find your own voice, because that's the thing. I used to want to go to college for writing. But the thing is, I don't think anyone can teach you how to write. It's just about learning the formats and then finding who you are

through that. God, that sounds so like weird. All the all the reviews of my book have been like great book, cliche person, And I've been like, you, my god, well because yeah, well all the reviews have been like three point five or four out of five stars because they've been like, sometimes the book gets a little cliche, and I'm like, yeah, it's an inspiring book, what do you expect? And and I was six when I wrote it. That's not cliche, all you fucking jack, That's what I would

have said. Oh my god, I'm that's stupid. So you've decided to read the reviews. Oh here's the thing. I am a people please or I literally have a heart attack when people are mad at me or don't like me, which is awesome because I want to go into the entertainment, which is maybe the worst pre place to be for someone like me. But that's okay. It's awesome that I'm a very very very sensitive person. Like I will hold onto grudges. I will remember everything. I have done a

lot of cool things in my life. I only remember the times that I've messed them up, of course. And you know what, this is just something that you will also learn that maybe they'll teach you in college. Is that like just that that is something that you just steal yourself against, Like like I would say in the same way as you really in that in that basic

way maybe and that is too. But like we've had to learn, like don't read the comments, like it doesn't I learned that the hard way when I was literally thirteen. I mean because I wrote I wrote an article for mash double when I was thirteen about how teens aren't using Facebook anymore and I literally like kind of got death threats and it was like it was awful, And I would read all the comments because like no one told me not to. And then Tommy Gevinson, I was

like I was interviewing her. We we used to both like being in the Hello Giggles world, so like we know each other, and I was talking to her on like a panel once and she was like you can't do that. She was like she was like it will kill you. And the thing is like I read the reviews because I want to know what my friends are seeing when they look up the books, you know what

I mean. Because the thing is like I don't really care about the reviews, but I care about my friends being like, oh, yeah, the books not even that good because that that sounds awful and like I shouldn't think that, but like I do because I'm still in high school. Like it's not like I wrote the book and now I'm off, Like it's like, no, I'm still in school.

Every day. I have to go home right now and do my ap government home or I have like I'm still a student, and like people follow me on Instagram and I'll go to parties and I'll see people and they'll be like, hey, you're publishing a book, right, And I'll be like, oh my god, let's die now. Well that won't go ah wait either. You're always gonna want to be in the know. You're never gonna want people to like know things about you that you don't know exactly.

And the thing is like reviews hurt a lot because it's like, you know, I'll read them and I'll be like, do you understand that I spent a year of my life, like putting everything I had and like all of my personal stories, because if you read the book, like it's very personal, it's about the common teenager. But I I said to myself before I started writing the book, there was no way I can write a book about all

teenagers and not talk about my personal self experiences. Because I say this in the first chapter, I'm so sorry. I I'm not a girl who likes girls. I'm not a boy who likes boys or a boy who likes girls. I can only tell you what I've been through, and I can only tell you my personal experiences. So I use what I've gone through to just help people get through what they're going through. I can't know what it's like to live in a household where there's five people,

and I've grown up with just my mom. The family chapter was the hardest chapter I had to write because I had no idea how to relate to people who didn't have relationships with their parents, but also people who had dads who were present, people who had siblings. I had no idea what to do. And then the way I figured out was just like talk about me, talk about what I've been through and how I got through

it and be honest with that. And then on the flip side of that, it's like, just like how you feel, like, well, there's no way I can speak to all of these different experiences, Like I mean there there is some onus on the reader to be to just be open minded and accept your experience is something that they should hear about because they should and so like yeah, I god, I yeah, we fully hear you. And like, I think it's super cool. And I encourage I've I've read quite

a bit of it today. Um, I really encourage everyone that's listening to preorder the book. Um, earth hates Me? What does the title mean to you? Earth hates Me? So originally the book was titled Braddy, which is my mom's nickname for me growing up. But then in one of my chapters, I write and I and in the heartbreak chapter, I was like, sometimes I wake up and I feel like the earth hates me because everyone hate them.

I'm like me going on some stupid brant. And then the woman who is the book cover designer was reading through the book to get a sense of the book so that she could figure out what the design was going to be, and she was like, hey, I know you like the title you came up with, but what do you think of Earth Hates Me? It was a line in one of your chapters, and I really think it's funny. And I was like, oh my god, that is so my book. It's self deprecating, which is exactly

my humor and basically is the whole book. And also it's exactly what every teenager feels like, Oh yeah, but it's so funny and specific to that sentiment at that age, and I think I think it's a fantastic title. Well, you should all pre order the book Earth Hates Me. It is installed, whereas on October three, Earth Hates Me.

True Confessions from a Teenage Girl. It is super great, and I think it's really really cool to, like you said, here a perspective from someone that is your age on this stuff, and it's nice to check in and understand that, like you know, they're having the discussions to about what it means to be, what the word cis gendered means, you know what I mean, Like, these things aren't just exclusive to and I think in the millennial generation we

get kind of wrapped up in ourselves. These aren't conversations that we're only having it's a worldwide discussion and it's super exciting and the book is awesome. Um let's move on to I don't think so, honey, So Ruby, I explained this to you a little bit. So this is I don't think it's funny. This is our segment where we take one minute to rail against culture. We've done a live show with this. We'll have to have you on the next one. We'll make sure it's a venue

we can get you into. That's some shade, will be like and that's the at Um people. But yes, we will get you in the next live show. Thank you. So basically it's cla I don't think so, honey, we take do you have one say? The silence is deafening anyway, So yeah, we take one minute to rail against something in culture. I loved, um, I loved what I do you had before. I don't know maybe it's changed. But we're going to go one by one. Bang would you like to start? How one ready to you? I guess

I could do one? Okay, alright, let me let me let me get the timer for you. Um, here we go, Oh man, what aving to do it? Okay, I'm gonna do it. It's gonna be on theme for this episode, so we're just gonna repeat I don't think so, honey, as many times as possible as we as we eviscerate this topic. This is Matt Rodgers is I don't think so, honey. Time starts new. I don't think so, honey. Almost all of the teachers from my high school. I'm putting you all on blast. Mr Brown, you only wanted to be

our friends. I'm sorry it government. Mr Brown. You had a test and preparis for and you just reveled in watching everyone tear each other apart. And you know what, you were the tennis coach and you did nothing. I don't think Mr Brown, I don't think so, honey. Mr Riley, my tech teacher who engaged in a Facebook comment fight right before the election and posed the election with my friends, and then you got into a huge fight and you are not on the right side. I don't think so, honey,

Mr Riley. And also, I believed in you, and you abandoned me senior year when I needed you as my track coach, and I had a shitty track coach my senior year. I don't think so, honey. You Mr Riley, I don't think so, honey, Mr Rozani, who was my cross country coach in high school, you tried to use me for political reasons that I can't remember, but I remember that it wasn't good. I don't think so, honey.

Um five seconds? Uh, this one miss the woman who ran the education department and English department who took the job away from my ap let teacher because she didn't show enough movies. Mannet. That is I don't make, honey, high school teachers power plays. You have, no These teachers use abuse their power. Yes they do. And also it's like house of cards. They try to mar and manipulate.

Boy who cares whatever it means to you? Oh well, it means to me that they're trying to double cross because I remember that we had like a student student union president that was one of the teachers and teachers in the school and then to gain his favor, like teachers would do shady things. And I was like, this is not about the students. And when you're a senior and you come of age, you know that's true. Okay, I think I think I think we're sticking to a

theme here. Okay, are you going for it? I'm going for it. But yeah, I'm gonna stick. I'm gonna focus on one. Okay, here we go, Okay, bow and Yang. I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Dr Peggy Lane, who insisted on her calling on us, her students calling her doctor Lane because yeah, cool, she had her PhD in English literature or whatever the funck. But she kept lording it over us and making and and you know what, here's what she did, talk about

power place. She politicized the entire class. Because here, here's what she did. She would always every class say, Maria Celeski, she's superior, guys, you gotta follow her example. She's writing these really cogent arguments about stying, beck fucking who knows what. And she made us feel bad. She shamed us in class for not reading the books, which maybe she should have shamed us for anyway, who who knows? But I don't think so many doctor Lane. She talked like a

fucking cartoon mouse and she was. She was ridiculous, and I just everyone hated her, and she intimidated all of her students. That is not the nurturing environment that you should be fostering. In your schools, in a public school, I don't think so. Only doctor Lane, Oh my god, I have a lot of pent uppers for her, and I do. I wish her well. But she she was ultimately a benevolent force. But also the way she went about things was pit her students against each other. And

I don't like that. You. I don't think so, honey, A woman who had a doctorate and only wanted the respect that she was owed and you, But was she never even shame? Was she that? Because my mom, my mom, fucking she has her doctorate and she doesn't. My same goes from my dad. I call her doctor, I call her on the phone, everything. But she wouldn't care if you didn't. And that's my point. Some people demand respect

when it's not necessarily totally earned as it there. That's rule number one earned that fat coined by one Ruby carp Thank you Ruby, And I want to throw one more teacher under the bus. Mr Holdsworth used to make the quote unquote cute girls sit in the princess chair. And yeah, whenever a girl was are illegal at that school, Yeah, you would make them sit in the princess chair. And then our principal, Dr Aileen Rossman. Dr Rome came to our came to our classroom one day and said that

had to stop. And you know what it did, and it did stop. And teachers of the world, if you are isolating female students and putting them in a chair in front of the room, sorry, I don't think so, honey. Now it seems like Ruby is ready to go. Okay, this is I don't think so, honey, Ruby car time starts. Now, I don't think so, honey. College application, Yes, excuse me, the s a T. Thank you for defining my intelligence

based off of a singular test. What happens? My test is seven hours long because I have anxiety, so I get seven hours of the s a T. Excuse me, no calculator section? Are you kidding? I'm defining who I am based off of my math grades, based off of a six D fifty word essay about who I am. You don't even know me. Please define my intelligence, Harvard. Have you seen the movie The Hunting Ground? You suck, Harrid. How how are you supposed to define how I am as a writer based off of how I analyze an

s a T? Say? Are you kidding me? Authors who have written sa T articles have tried to take the sa T about their articles and failed. The is correct and as well as the college process. There you go, oh one minute, I think now they'll stop doing it. They'll stop administering it because of me, because of my I don't think so, honey. All it takes is one voice to take down the college board. They let me tell you something that isn't just a money making machine.

They all they care about is money. That's all it is. Yes, it's a money making machine. And the thing is, I like, I consider myself a pretty intelligent person. But the thing is, because everything now in education is memorization and test taking. It's not education, it's just memorization. And then colleges are seeing my scores and my grades which is like a ninety average and like a hundred, which to Yale is

not enough. And the thing is, it's like, you know what, what if during high school I published a book, I did a comedy show, but you know what that that's not enough for those schools because my grades and my scores don't define them. But take the a C. That's no, I couldn't. I couldn't. I well that. But also I have anxiety, so I need extra time on tests or I will fail, and the A c T denied me extra times because they didn't believe I actually had anxiety.

A week before they test, they revoked my extra time because they were like, you're lying about having anxiety and I was like, what hey a c T um we hear last culturest just believe women. And when they say they have anxiety issues around testing, when you like me to have a panic attack in front of you, I don't know what to tell you. I run a note from my therapist like I didn't understand what it would take. No,

I don't know. Oh my god, that's but I say I recommended because it's it's actual test based on comprehensive knowledge and not just supposed to take the S A T which is a game. Yeah, a week I was. I studied for the A c T all year. A week before the test, they sent me a letter that was sorry, you're not You can't have extra time and I literally can't take the test without it, or I like legitimately would fail. Oh my god, that sucks. Let

me tell you something. I got a perfect score in the A C T. Oh my god, because it's a bullshit exam and you're not missing anything. And if I could get a perfect score on that, look I got thirty one. I thought it was a champion. But look here, here's the thing. Really, all the tiff about you publishing a book, about you performing, about you doing all these amazing, incredible things that goes in the personal statement, and you're fine.

Thank you. I think you'll be fine. I also I hope that you'll be a fool if you don't take a Ruby carp. I don't think so, honey, don't even think about trying to come on. Last culture Emerson College, the entire faculty of Emerson, and they're all. They're all. They've all been emailing. UM, okay, so this has been so fun. You guys the second Monday of every month, told your ass over to UCB East and you check out. Um,

we hope you have fun. Which is the stand up show hosted by a Ruby, and pre order Earth Hates Me Now, which is in stores on October three. Ruby, thank you so much for doing the show. Thank you so much for having We are huge fans, um, and we hope we've made other fans out of our listeners. And um, my name is Bown Yang my name is Smith Black Smith Black, that's Ruby carp. This has been a Forever DO production, Executive produced by Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey,

and Brett Bone. For more podcasts, please visit Trevor Dog Productions dot com, M dog h