THE BEST OF FOREVER DOG 2018

feel like a community. We are amazed, we're grateful, and we appreciate you. And if right now you're saying I didn't do any of those things and I don't know what the hell Forever Dog is, well, Hi, welcome. Forever Dog is the network that produces this podcast that you're subscribed to, and we've got lots more where that came from. Forever Dog produced thirty podcasts as well as two limited series.

You'll find us mostly under comedy, but we also have must listen shows for TV and film fanatics, baseball fans, spiritualists and mystics, listeners of music, book readers, laundry aficionado, steam barkerficionados, Paul, Text, Junkies, Failures, Shop to You, Droppers, health nuts, and anyone with a commute and or desk job. So to celebrate the past year at Forever Dog, we've put together a clip show that highlights some of the best moments from our podcasts. And if that doesn't sound

like your cup of tea, no worries. Your favorite podcast will be back next week or the week after with brand new episodes. But if you're looking for something new to subscribe to in twenty nineteen, or for some killer back catalogs to binge during your holiday travels, then please stay tuned because we've got a lot of fun stuff

coming your way next. I should also add that if you subscribe to multiple Forever Dog podcasts, we will be releasing this same episode on all our feeds this week, so let me just apologize ahead of time for the repetition. But we think this is a really fun episode and we want as many people as possible to hear it. Oh and if you want to follow up on any of the shows presented in this episode, you can find

them all at Forever Dog podcasts dot com. You can also subscribe to them on Apple Podcasts, Stitchers, Spotify or your favorite podcast app, and you can follow us Forever Dog on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Team. Okay, let's get started with the best of Forever there are. Our first podcast up is one that Vulture called quote a scathing, absurdist, intersectional, radical feminist alt podcast. It's called A Woman's Smile. It's hosted by two of the most innovative performers working in

comedy right now, Patty Harrison and Laura La Ramirez. And the following clip comes from a special futuristic episode of the podcast entitled A Woman's Smile is Spaceship. Welcome to a woman Smile. Smile Smile with your host Flora Lie and Patty. Ha ha ha. This is a year fifty. Our consciousness has half been low led into a hard driving the sky in the cloud and now we are about And now, as Patty says, oh I lookingly, we

are a robot. I am still the same as I was before, still fatch, still big, and still I am balding naked naked on the show Welding nakeds at Corney Horney. Yes it is really bad, we don't have body, but still those things did not change about loyalize consciousness. Apparently you can put consciousness in another big fat body, a big fat, balding body. Still, when you move on to a different form of consciousness, you are the ugliest one.

Sometimes pain follows you wherever you go. And even in my conscious as, people still debate whether I'm a man or woman. It is true, and it is actually funny. But you bring that up now It hurts because still I question you no, no, no, no, yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. Let's get into it. What you have been thinking about? I have been thinking about my husband. He is at home in my mind, in our consciousness. We live in a chip in Marchip. We have an amazing bathroom. Our bathroom has

two things. I wish I could also have a chip too. You'll have a chip soon. You are so much data you don't fit in a chip. They do not yet to make a chip pick enough to hold all your data. This is not fair. I uploaded my consciousness or I could be free of my body, ha ha. But now I am still in my body, still being infatunately. Why let's talk about something else. So Lorla, what have you been thinking about? I have been thinking about maybe one day.

I don't know. Oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no, oh no no no no, yes, yes, yes, I have been thinking about how beautifully would be one day to finally have it is so made. I think that you are a wonderful mind, in person or alive. I think it will happen for you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I think that when you put yourself out there, it really does make all the difference. People need an allarial ill. I am sorry. I my consciousness is getting

a little bit bigger by the second. That is okay. You should demonstrate self control. You should demonstrate self control. I had. My favorite things to do is sit on the pot inside my hip antick big ones. That is funny to me, ha ha, But he's funny to me. Ha. Remember when we used to be in our bodies and I would go over to your husband when he was broken and I would take care of him. Yes, And I took my dance class. My dance class was an amazing place where I bonded with many women to look

like me. They were just like me. They were white, they were five nine, they were one ten, pounds. They were thin like me. They loved to dance to hip hop tracks contemporary music at the time. Like Charlie Xi Egs, you sound sad when you talk about those things. Your sound sad. I am not. I am not Zack. I look back for me at those tastes, at my dance class with my white girlies, my skinny white girls. We chained skinny white Cline after skinny bitch Whine was my baby.

I know you missed that life we had, but this is for the better. Now now now I you are you having a long room. This next clip comes from a new podcast that premiered on Forever Dog in October, called The American Arts and Culture Review. It's hosted by Clay Tatum and Whitmer Thomas of Beloved l a comedy outfit Power Violence, and together with friends Budd Anthony Diaz, and Rodney Berry, they review the latest in film, TV, high fashion, music and art accompany throughout a live soundtrack

of jazz pop standards. The clip You're about to Heat comes from an episode entitled The Favorite Widows and Laras von Trier and features a very special guest, critically acclaimed filmmaker Lauras von Trier. We uh we Oh crap, I'm supposed to do something that I didn't do. Do you a special guest? Yeah, we have a very special guest. Um. He came here all the way from foreign, foreign place, from a different country, for sure. Yeah, he just flew all the way from there. Yeah. He just directed a

new film called The House that Jack Built. Um, Bud, would you mind going in and letting him in? No, it'd be best at Bud when buddy, buddy, you have to go later? Would and there he goes, he's getting him right now, so uh okay. And he's coming in and and he's coming in, and he's he's sitting down. He's sitting down right now. This is so good. Hello okay, Lars, so um, we have to be here. So what's some all the reasons we should see you? Did you see my film? I don't see. What's it about my house?

Not jolt? Okay? What's that about Calvin Dylan? Okay, he's a murderer? Okay, good? No? Is you go in more details? What you got to see my film? What is it about if theaters? No? Is it? Yeah? Ok so so let's you Okay, So what's not all of them. What happens in the movie. He's on the road, okay, in a car. Okay, don't get in his car. You've got to see my phone. Okay, I can do this for a little long. Yeah, so that's what it's about. Okay, Um, what this is your idea? How about you take take

the meal of here? Uh so, what's up? Where are you from? What got you into making movies? I'm foreign? Yeah, we're we got you into making movies? What got you into making movie? What got you make? What got you into making movies? Ars? A camera? Yeah? Alright? Cool? And what about the came? What about the camera? Made you into the camera? Camera? This is so good? And where I bought a camera? It was young? How old were you? Yeah, so that's what made you decide. Yeah, and so you

bought a camera and you decided, I'm going to make films. Okay, So recently you've made all kinds of great films. What's your favorite film that you've made? But beside the newest one one calling out because it's about depression? So so that film is about depression. Would you say that you've ever suffered from depression? Yeah? Actually, so what do you do in your depressed. What's your remedy? Well, let me just I have my headphones are broken and I barely here.

You did you get a little louder? So what is your right? So? What's uh? What do you? What is you? So you've struggled with depression, So what's a remedy that you would recommend to someone who's dealing with depression? McK movie camera? Okay, Lars, While while promoting the film Melancholia, you came under fire for telling everyone that you're a Nazi. So how do you stop talking? So? So do you reject those statements now or you don't know what I said?

I'm so I made films your theaters. No, no, that's not what I ask for. My film is in theaters. Now, know that, when being interviewed a few years ago, you told everyone that you're a Nazi. Do you regret saying that or was it? Okay? So why don't you regret it? I don't know, you don't, I don't Okay, Okay, Okay, here's here's the thing. Here's the thing. My house, not Jack Belt, the house that Jo Belt in theaters. Okay, So you're not going to answer why I'm embarrassed okay,

where can He'll find you on social media? On Twitter? What's your email? Email? Okay? Next up is The Wonderfully Witchy Beyond, the only podcast we've ever produced that may have altered the fabric of space and time. In Beyond, self proclaimed energy expert Mike Kelton seeks to solve his

and his friends real life problems by supernatural means. Instead of going to a therapist, Mike goes to mediums, ghost hunters, cult leaders, healers, astrologers, and in this clip a which this is from the episode entitled Witchcraft the goat Head, and it features Mike's friend Lisa p from The Bronx consulting a witch about the dark energy surrounding her boyfriends. X So I go on the trip. I didn't say anything like, I don't know. I never cried, I didn't

shed it tear. I was just like, Okay, come back and I'm like what now. So I go back to her again, and you know, she went through it again, said she's not pregnant, she's not pregnant, blah blah blah. And I said, well, what can I do to like make this stop? Like she's like a menace. She this woman is a menace. She's menacing my life, like I can't go on, Like I can't do it. I'm gonna break up with him. But then there's a competitive side

of me that's also like down with this bitch. God so Rah and was like, oh well, I said, well, can I light up like a candle in my apartment and you know, do something or there's different remedies and different types of cleanses, and she was like, oh no, no, m m for this, you need to do something big. Well, it's a revocationation. Yeah, o Spanish, it's a revocation. So I had to do a revocation. So I was like whatever, I'm down down like what she made me. I had

to bring a photo of this individual. And she said, okay, I have to work on it for seven days. Most things in this tradition or in the numbers of three, seven or twenty one, so I think she had to work on it for seven days. Then I had to come pick up the finished product on a Monday, because this is the day of the guardian of the cemetery. Give us what happens when you show up after the

seven days on the Monday. What's what goes down? She went into the kitchen into the freezer and pulled out a plastic bag that was, you know, the size of like a bread basket. Um. And she hands me like a frozen goathead. So in the goat heads, mal in the goats, hold on. She gives you the goath heead. What is your first thought? Sometimes when you go into these types of places, there's just the way that I am. Even sometimes in certain churches, I feel like currents. The

spanishes like corients, you know, like currents. It feel it felt very um ritualistic. It felt very spiritual. With the goad. I was like inflow. I wasn't like, what is this? Oh my god laughing. I'm all in and this is part of it that makes sense to me, as you have to be. If you're on a person's kitchen in Washington nights and getting a goat heead, you gotta be all in it. I was all in. It gets crazier.

I mean, she didn't tell us what she did, but my friend who was with us, she you know, again as the person who introduced me to Mina, and she was like, oh, look, you know, there's coffee grounds in the mouth. The picture was rolled up and stuffed and my friend told me, She's like, this is all to shut her up. This is to get her to shut up, and there were other things. I'm sure that we're done as well. So we had to take the goathhead and

bury it in a cemetery that night. It has to be done on a Monday, had to be done, and this was already like six o'clock and this is December, so it's pick it's pitch dark. It's pitch dark. Okay. So the only cemeteries that are in northern Manhattan are completely gated off at this point and locked, and they have cameras on them, and people get arrested for trying to go in there because more people do this than

you think. For example, if you were to look up goatheads in Prospect Park, you will find so many stories about what has been going on with goatheads in Prospects Are you serious? Yes, So of course we had to research this and guess what, everyone it absolutely checks out.

There are so many articles about goatheads in Prospect Park and also many other parks in the Tri state area, and we will include those links in the description of this podcast for some light fun reading after you finished the app We've been huge fans of this next podcast for a long time, so we were very honored when they joined Forever Dog This year. It's black Men Can't Jump in Hollywood, hosted by Jera Milligan, James the Third,

and Jonathan Braylock. One of the best movie review podcasts out there, Black Man Can't Jump was selected for best of lists from the A V Club, Vulture, and Relevant and the following clip comes from their award winning episode

on the film Black Panther. If people are into Marvel, I don't know, but like you know, when Infinity War comes, like characters have to die, and like usually they'll kill characters that are more secondary and like, I'm like, yo, if one of these people die, like Ben set legitimately sad and upset because we really came to grow and love all of it. Quit so much so that I would say, like my only grand with this movie was I was so sad that Michael P. Jordan had to die,

even though I know he did, I don't think he did. Man. That's that's that's this dude was amazing, and you set it up so that he didn't have to die. You set up the lot the internalizing in the film so that they could have staved in with the science. And like, I thought he was gonna be like, um, lowkey. I thought he was gonna be lokey. I'm very way that he yes, yes, the lines how he got perfect that was so and it makes sense, it makes sense. It

makes like I didn't want him to die either. And then he said that line was like this is perfect. Same here and he just and he just did it.

Like but also, yo, this movie so okay, okay, I think there's a perfect we can talk about its like just to hit on Ryan Coogler real quick, is all the times we we have this discussion on whether or not a white person can direct a movie about like the black experience, right right, And I know sometimes we're we're like, we're really polite and we're really like, you know,

maybe they can't if they know. But I think the nuances that this brother created in this movie, for instance, that because he co wrote it so rand Coopy co wrote if you don't know that line about uh no, so what I can be locked up? No, just throw me in the ocean, like my answers is dead. When they were jumping off the boats because they knew it was better died and be um in prison for the

rest of your life and something like that. It's like bro like every first off everything that freaking um um um Sterling K. Brown said at the top of the movie about why he wanted this movie isn't about like it's about like the world, but it's really about like ideology, like, Yo, I've seen black people, butcher, I've seen people view them and we have a chance to make them strong and powerful and we're not. That is literally what the conflict of this movie is. Do you help you? What are

you doing? Why are we saving our are we just going to hoard and save our resources for It's so funny like A's like somebody who's Christian that there's a lot of spiritual the whole time the whole movie. I was just thinking about that so much, like this idea of like, you know, there's a that verson but when there's a song like don't uh if you have a light, don't hide it under a bus show like go let it shine on the top of the mountain, right like

let me let your little lights shine. That's the song. Like the idea is that if you have a light, don't hide it and use it for yourself. You should let it shine so others can see the light. And that's exactly what Wakanda is. It's like this bright, shining city in the center, in the heart of Africa that

has kept hidden. And the main conflict in theme in this movie is like, are we gonna keep this hidden for ourselves or do we have a responsibility to the rest of the world, especially the rest of people of color in these in these nations surrounding nations that are suffering and that we know we could help, and we're not helping to protect ourselves. You know, no, trust of the movie. It's not some giant invader trying to take over the world. I mean, I guess it kind of is.

I mean, not an invader, but it's like something that's so real to black people. I'm want to thread right now my boys from back home and it's like ten of us on this thread. And literally the whole discussion has been since Trump has been in office, especially this year in particular, um of what can people of color

do to help? More like what basically like what should we be doing, Like we know we gotta do something, like yeah, we can vote, and we have been voting, but it's more right, and the whole movie, the idea behind the movies like what else, what do we do? And I thought that was just a genius way to do it. It made it more grounded to me than most superhero movies are because it was something that was, uh like, something that people can relate to. And also

we still had a villain. I feel like a lot of times it's a black superhero, he's fighting like the crime boss or the drug dealer on the block or something like that. Whereas this he still had a true villain. Um he also had something that just meant something personal, you know. And then Ryan Coogler again, Ryan Coogler has three movies all have over nine pcent a round tomatoes

and you know, not hate cooling Ryan Tomatoes. But to go from food Vale Station which was set in Oakland, which he added this character back in Oakland, and I feel like he did it on purpose, but that's just me, Like he had that movie to go from to Creed. It's like this young black man, like young young black man has now changed the way a lot of black

people even view themselves. And I'm like, and he wasn't rich, Like this wasn't a rich black brother like he he is from Oakland, like he grew up with not that much and like my mad he like that is the American dream. If you want to be real, he aspired. He yo, my man would not only aspire black people around this country. He's gon inspired like mad people. He's also he's desiring filmmaker. Yeah, it's like a great filmmaker.

Just this past week, we sadly said goodbye to one of the original Forever Dog podcasts, one of our all time phase, the Book of Ya, hosted by Rob Hayes and Chris Daniels. For the past two and a half years, Rob and Chris have been journeying through the Kanye West cannon song by song, will also trying to make sense of every twist and turn of Kanye's career. Even though the podcast is over, the Book of You leaves behind an incredible back catalog of episodes that are well worth revisiting,

including so many great moments. In particular, Robin Chris were really at their best when they were unpacking the controversial and problem public lives of our most iconic pop stars, whether it be Kanye himself, were in this clip from the episode Hell of a Life with guests Gordon Baker, Bone, Lord, don't pull a Lord were talking about. We're not talking about We're not gonna talk about why alright, alright co apology tweets ready, definitely, I'm sorry sorry Mr Jay talking

about he apologized to the joker. She'll never be a word as far as wait, but don't like Lord because when she said she posted a picture of bathtub, we'll always love me. How's that an accident? That is not accident? That is not an accident? No body guard, man ain't no bathtub. Anybody goes what is got to pull that for it? I don't know. Bad coincidence, that's not bad. No, I'm on your side now, Rob, Yeah, you can't. You think she blatantly went out she was always loved you

in a picture of a bathtub. That's a brick shot. She always take a bath. Okay, scrub it up and then tell it's a good cow. No, it's not. Nobody. Nobody sings that. Nobody's got rubbed dub dub playing How old? How old is Lord? She old enough not to know to do that? So you have Wikipedia? Come on, man, enough to have Google. Why would she be on the laptop in the tub. She I recommend it. See what happens. Could be on a blueberry, on a BlackBerry in the tub. She could be on the laptop. She gott have a

laptop to the side. I don't understand. I don't understand why she did that? If how is that not an accident? And the tubs all the way from you? You know you're saying it's not an accident. Yeah, so I'm asking you how actually make an accident with that? Come on, you say it's the wrong line. Girl, want to take a path? It makes you know what I say, it's ex because it makes no sense for not to be what First of all? First of all, First of all, Lord is one of them dark people here in front

of the face which is in the video. First of all, so to make a joke or a reference to how somebody died doesn't seem off for her. Second of all, because girl who falling out of the well, I will always love you. Now two eyes might have been Dolly Parton, but we all know only Whitney Houston can pull off that third consecutive eye. What is what is the song about? What is the song about? Kevin Costner? Yeah, it's about her? What hurt. The song is about love. The girl loves

taking back now getting get out of it? What are you serious going on? What is wrong with you? First of all, I hate you for making me like defend Lords at the front of the keeping at the front of the podcast. No scrat that. I hate that. I'm going equally. It's hired for Finaliathan Lord and say forty minutes she just loves baths and she was singing her, she was professing her. I don't the only professing. I'm only going to her because y'all going to her unnecessarily.

It makes it makes no sense. It makes no sense to be mad because you know, but you're saying. You're saying that, you're saying it was bad intent behind it or funny, and it was probably should trying to be funny. That's the worst joke, Evin, it is. That's one they had to get out. They got on Netflix special you gotta show me the president of Lord making jokes about dead people. That's what made this upsetting, not surprising, but upsetting because Lord was like somebody that we never have

a problem with, you know what I'm saying. Lord was the only white person this year nominated for Best album Album of the Year. And she didn't say nothing crazy. She ain't had no crazy captions Like we was cool with Lord. You know what I'm saying, Well, you've got a ledger keeping up with Lord. What I'm saying is saying, prior to this, we've never had an issue with Lord. But now I'm looking at Lord like, all right, now, Lord,

you know your name is Lord. It already makes me feel funny saying that it has an E on it. But when you say you came here there, whose father is that? Likence? Lordy? I'm just saying, Lordy, how Lord can speak on Whitney Houston. But now Lord, you think she got a career in her name is Lordy? Lordy is the one who was singing rubber Dub Dub. I definitely would never say her name and name is Lordy. Y'all listen to that new Lordy, lord Lordy cool Glord

Lord Day. I call the Lord Lordy sound like a SoundCloud rapper that I don't know about cancel because they'd be like some and someone is canceled, then they just be selling all the records. So we ain't gonna cancel her, but we're just gonna put it to the side. You ain't stopping Lord from selling record, but I'm not gonna listen no more, especially after that. Man, we gotta be secretive because you know, Spotify don't like to count stuff

when people organized to too loudly. The next time something Lord come out, we're all gonna bringe group. I ain't see that many people get upset about this. I saw every the context that I was presented. Look at this mistake Lord made, not y'all like y'all see what the funk Lord did. Like see the kind of stuff that they that they got you saying, because her name is the mistake that Lord made. It's the sentence you just said. Because her name is Lord, I'm gonna find out her

real name. That's what I'm gonna do. What his Lord? Lord? Mate, that's better than Lord. What were you over inen? What were you sick of? What were you done with? That's the question that Derek Hats and Betsy Kenny put to their guests every week. Undone, named one of the best new podcasts by Refinery Done, features some truly cathartic moments, like this one from the episode Natural Beauty Products Marfa Texas and Whimsy Oh My God, So, Darren, I just got back from a trip and I ripped one on

the point. I'm so sorry. Oh and this was allable, This was Boing seven seven. This was like a tiny one, like the pilot was right in front of me, and like one family was flying it with us. And I was trying to cover your ass because the dad I knew was unto you. He knew you ripped one. Now wait, so I did it, and it was truly so loud

and said that like a wocause you're kind. And when I couldn'top laving the text are it was right before we when I didn't hear it, it smelled like it smelled like we all together fall into a drainage was coming for us, coming that had come, and now we were rotting in it and there were worms. It was a small jeff, it wasna We truly couldn't stop laughing. And right before that we were taking so many pictures, like on the tarmac because it was truly one of

those planes. And the guy, this guy was so mad and he didn't know why he goes this isn't a place for fun. And then we were like he got on the plane, I'm like shipping my pants. But it's just air. I mean this, We're never allowed back. No, that dad, because that dad had two daughters sitting in front of him, who you thought were cute, I thought were obnoxious, and I was going to yell at their asses, but then you you let that far go and I couldn't.

You took away any leverage I had for the rest of the flight, and then we couldn't stop laughing about Far And it's truly gross. It's it's immature. Yeah, it's not funny. Okay, fine, uh all right. When this next podcast joined Forever Dog for season three of their absolutely

iconic show, we could not have been more thrilled. It's Food for Thought, hosted by Dennis Norris the Second, Joseph Osmondson, Tommy Pico, and Fran Toronto, a multi racial mix of queer writers who talk about sex, relationships, race, identity, what they like to read, and who they like to read.

And After you listen to the following clip from their season three premiere episode, She's Arrived, please make sure to go online to the I Heart Radio Podcast Awards site and vote for Food for Thought for Best lgbt Q Podcast. You guys, Betty Welcome to Season three of Food per Thought podcast GAT. This random multi racial mix of queer writers gather on the table to talk about sex, identity, clare, what we like to read and who we like to

read frand just fell out of it. So recovering from that bone chilling lass like waking up the souls of thousands of thoughts of yesteryear sex, summoning them like it's some fucking it's It's like slutty Pandora's Box, just unleashing all these slutty demons thought where every day is cheat Day. I'm Tommy Tieves Peeko. I'm an Indigenous American poet, screenwriter, and my fourth book is coming out in fall two thousand nineteen, proving once and for all four books and

four years, i am in fact that bench. Yes, who are I'm Fran I'm a writer editor, and my drag queen name is Virginia Slim, but my drag king name is Girth Brooks. O. My god, I believe you're straight straight? Yes, it takes up. It's been three seasons. I've been straight the whole time. What if that was actually the rumors? A twist lives for the drama Mom I have never seen you suck dick personally, so who knows? And I am Joseph Osins. Obviously you did not get that my

public says, are doing a great job. That's what you're doing. A side just nonfiction writer, total top as always and the food for thought originator of sticking out your tongue in pictures. Oh my god, that's not true. True I did at first. Um and hi guys, I'm back, Denis Reader, writer, former figure skater, and it is my life's work to work Michelle Kwan into every conversation. You're doing a great chat, sweetie,

You're doing a great job. Plus, dear reader, let's replay that a Dennis's intro with the context that we have deemed Dennis with the effect of a YouTuber, a white YouTuber, a white like makeup tutorial YouTuber that's like, hey, guys, how's it guy? And this is my unboxing video? So tired you guys, Let's do this anyway? I said, you can. You can take the Becky out of the valley, but you can't take the valley out of it. That is an uncanny valley. Who wants to tell us what we

got on the menu this week? Got it everybody this week, all of us fuck Rihanna. We give good advice from at least one doctor. It's me. We conclusively decide that Mimi isn't it Eva not anymore? Fuck you, Fran, and we knock on the window pane of one of the greatest persons of all time, Take it away. I'm feeling a little peckish. Starts the top of this show the way any good time should with the little teas are a vororious appetizer segment, amuse bouche and to amuse our bouches. Today,

Fran got a little game for us. That's right. So the theme of today's episode is Diva, so it only makes sense to gamify the meat of this episode with a healthy little helping of bone block Bench. It's going to copy I know, right, Diva's edition. So if you're not familiar with our game, which we coined and created a very originally, bone block Bench is pretty much the exact same thing as Mary fu kill Um, but thoughtified.

So bone means like you need them, You've gotta have them, like even if it's just for one night, Like you're just gonna suck their brains out, Bench, just like you want to like you you're gonna put them on the sidelines, like maybe you want to play the long game with them, Like that doesn't mean like they're out of your life forever, but like you want to put them on the bench and block is like what happens after all of Joe's tender matches go on one date, I'm bone bone bone

and they're um And so another disclaimer here, I will not be playing softball. There are no easy there are no easy balls that I will be throwing today. I'm see you guys later. And there have been too many entre Dan gil and Eric do Dorrian have been through it all on their podcast, Groomzilla's. They've planned their weddings, they've gotten married, they've watched the Dodgers lose two consecutive World series, and they've talked to tons of amazing guests

about love, marriage, and the whole damn thing. The following clip comes from Dan and Eric's live stream of one of most memorable events, the royal wedding of Megan Markel and Prince Harry, recorded simultaneously in l a and Baltimore in the wee hours of the morning. Here they are the Groomzilla's and for taking all others. Be faithful to him. As long as you both shovel it, I will nailed it. M and with you is going faster than I thought

it would. Harry and Yeah, they want to get this show on the road and uphold them in their marriage now and in the years to come. We will as I will stand. Let us pray for Harry and Megan. Um, I'm gonna pray for Harry and Megan with them. Are you praying? No, I don't believe in God, God, our Father. In the beginning, you have blessed creation with abundant life. Pour out your blessings upon Harriet and Megan joined in mutual love and companionship and commitment to each other. He's

got his phone. Hid asked him this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your son who is alive and reigns with you the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Ah. That was a strong prayer. Judging from the way Harry has been acting. I think the edible hit about halfway down the aisle when he was walking with William and I think you're really starting to swing now and says to me, going on, my love, come away, look at British. Who is this reading is over and gone?

Looks mom, the time of singing has come. That's Camilla's mom. It looks like, isn't it. They all look the same to me. Honestly. The fig tree puts for kits fixed and the vines are in blossom. That's why it's a big deal in the family. My love, my fair one, and come around, figs set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm is flies right now? Totally, it's so hard, so hard, many waters. Is he wearing the Nazi uniform underneath his uniform? Do

you think he still has it? No? I don't think he does. One's house, but he did at one point. I like, I like sitting down. Who is this broad talking about floods and figs? Man? This is bumming me out. Um, that was Harry's first was Harry's first girlfriend? I hear where that whoever? That was just terrified her. Yeah, it's seal gonna sing? Or what seal is going to sing? He was doing two songs. I believe he's only got one. Does this remind you of the wedding from Love? Actually

at all? This part kind of does, doesn't it the choir, they is there choirs in love actually the boy quire Yeah, in the in the in the in the first wedding, Oh, when they're saying all you need is love with the trombones. Yeah, oh come on, what one anywhere? And maybe it's just like it's just it's just so much and it's like fun and everything, but it's you know, I don't think this is them. I just that's the feeling overall, you know,

I can't shake. But all this wedding as you know, this is them, they like Heaven George and them all there. Well yeah, but I mean all the part I mean, I think they want to get rid of I want to get they want to get home with it. They want to just be married. I feel like I bet to work. I bet George isn't even like focused on the wedding right now, because he's probably a crunching numbers for his cosam Egos tequila. George Clooney seeing seeing what what the quarter is shaping up to be for his

cosam Egos tequila. Well, he's got one. He's always got one. Month. Part of his mind is always back at his layer in what a Lake Cuomo. Part of him is always a Lake Cuomo. He's not fully anywhere. You could tell his acting Wow shots fired. He's always back at his half half part of him is always back at Lake Cuomo, where him and his colleagues are working on tequila that is creatively and professionally greater than any to get. Look

at these idiots, look at cosamigos. In a crowded landscape of character based improv podcasts, Hampton High has quickly become a world unto itself. That's what the A V Club had to say about this next podcast, and we couldnot agree more. Hampton High is created by and stars Tim Platt as high school junior Hampton mclvey, whose quest to become the Mark Maron of Rockville Prep by interviewing students and faculty of interest leads him down some very strange paths.

The following clip is from Hampton's interview with theater kid Meetra played by guest Metrahi. This is interesting. We have more uncommon than people who have thought, who are looking at our different social circles. And that's why I like this podcast, and I think that's kind of the amazing thing about our school is people are pretty open minded connecting with people from other social groups. It's definitely true

ghost skuts truly. Um. Okay, so I wanted to ask you, So you do these roles, you do these behind the scenes stuff, but like, I mean, let's be brass acts here, Like where's this gonna go? This is your career. I mean, you know, now that I'm sevent I've kind of come to terms with the fact that there are people who are made for this stuff and there are people who just love it and aren't necessarily going to get paid to do it. And I think I'm the latter rather

than the former. Uh So, one thing I realized about myself recently is that I'm actually really amazing at math Um. I've known that for a long time, but I haven't really thrown myself into it. But I've been sending more and more time thinking about it, and I think I'm gonna go to school for accounting. I just have to be realistic with myself. I'm great at math I love the idea of helping people shape their you know, take care of their lives in a way that is responsible

and pragmatic. So I'm going to study accounting and just sort of see where that takes me, and maybe I can marry the two at some point, but mostly I just want to get into the numbers and see what happens. Okay, that was the sound of a pin dropping. Um okay. But like if you get a big role next year in the play, then like maybe that will be your you know what I mean, Like, are you only saying

that because you haven't had a huge role yet? You know? Well, I mean, of course it would be an honor and I would take it incredibly seriously if I were to receive a huge role. But when you think about like the graces or you know, the like Evan Harper's of the show, I mean of the school. Um, I'm not one of those people. Those people just radiate a magnetic energy that makes you want to watch everything they do, and I just don't think I'm not and I'm okay

with that. Um okay. It's just like one of those chicken things where you're like saying like you're insulting yourself so other people will be like, oh, no, you're actually actually great, you know know, I mean, like are you saying, oh, I just want to be accountant, So like I'll be like, oh no, you should actually need theater. Do you know what I mean a chicken thing? Yeah, like you know how like some you know how some chicks are like, oh I look so ugly, and I'm like, no, you don't.

You're actually really hot right now. Um I'm not. Oh, thank you. That's what I wanted you to say. I mean, I know what you mean by a chick thing, but it actually hurts my feelings when you say that. That's call it a chick thing. But to lie you've never told a lie. No, I've obviously to the lie. But like what I'm saying, saying a lie a chick thing is to lie. No, I'm just no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying. It's like you saying, oh I love the fear, but I want to do something else

because I'm not that good. It's sort of like when a lot of chicks, and this is true, do say like I don't look good right now because they want the guys so they look good. Don't you think that diminishes my goals by saying that I'm lying. I'm actually really good at math. I'm great at math. I've always gotten a plus is in math. It comes really naturally. I'm sure you aren't, but that's not I'm not I'm not saying you're not good at math. I'm saying that, like,

I'm not mad at you. I want you to know I'm not mad at you, but i just want you to know that it's actually pretty destructive of you to refer to me saying that I want to pursue accounting as a chick thing. When I state my goals, I mean them. I'm an intelligent person, I know I yeah, no, I know that. I'm not saying you're not intelligent. I would just like if like a fear role came around

the corner that change your life. I'm just saying that you would probably take that right, I mean so out, but I'm saying that I don't think that's going to happen, and that I've accepted and embrace and I'm really excited about pursuing accounting. I'm not mad at you. I'm just saying phrases like chick thing are problematic, and I want you to think about the reasons why, because I respect you and I think you're capable of better. Hampton. I really like you. I mean it, okay, I like you too.

I feel like i'm walking on a mind fuel right now to be perfectly frank, like, I uh, I all, I okay, I mean, I'm not, I'm not I'm not to dig this hole. But like, all I'm saying is that, like people some I mean all I'm saying that, Like people sometimes say you're okay, you're saying what you mean. I see you were saying what you mean. A lot of people say things that they don't mean, and I don't think it's tied to their gender. Okay, that is the sound of a mind blown a true calm, a legend.

Kevin McDonald of The Kids in the Hall brought his traveling variety show podcast, Kevin McDonald's Kevin McDonald Show to Los Angeles, New York, and Atlanta this year, featuring incredible guests like Todd Barry, Paula Tompkins, Darcy Cardon, Tim Heidecker, JUDEA Friedlander, and weird Al Yankovic. And the list doesn't

stop there. Check out Kevin's back catalog for sketches, live music, and unforgettable appearances by Mike Myers, Amy Man, Andy Richter, Ben Gibbert, Rob Cordrey, Rachel Drash, Bob Sagett, and fellow kids in the Hall Scott Thompson, Dave Foley, and Mark McKinney. Now please enjoy this clip from Kevin's interview with Weird Al. I also, yeah, I remember in Canada another one, Loves the Bus was like a super super hit. Um was it? Yeah? It was? It wasn't in the stage I kind of.

It just barely got relieved, like the record label when the record label went bankrupt two weeks after it came out, But it got out there. How did you get your first record deal? Like? What was it because of my bologna? Or yeah, well that was the first that came out on Capitol Records, And like the original bathroom recording literally recorded in a bathroom in my college, and Capitol Records put it out, uh, and it sold, you know, a

couple of dozen copies. I don't know if you can find a copy today, though it's worth like thirty five cents, so oh good. I think I might have I might have it in the basement. When I moved from Toronto, my sister took all my stuff and put in her basement and then she had a flood and ruined everything. No storright, wait to bring the room down like that because I want to get out to my airport. Um. Oh, yeah,

here's he was gonna come today. He's not here day fully, one of the kids in he was gonna come here. He was gonna found out. I was showing up. No, no, it's the opposite. I was showing up. He got a headache, he had a should I say this, I can't even pronounce it. Yesterday he had to help me colon us colon and he's feeling badly from he should have just

gotten a semi coll on oscarpy. Yes, whoa Once the kids in the hall a few years ago, we were on a Canadian TV show and Scott had a colonoscopy that morning and um uh we were reading the script and they were asking us their notes because they were pretending to care about it as the kids in the hall and um, and Scott whispered to me, um, because of the procedure, I just had. I'm pulling my pants and then the m and then the writer said, uh, uh Scott, do you have any notes? And then uh,

I said, you because want to get him out there? No, no, no, he's okay, No, Kevin, I have notes and pulling his pants. He gave a half hour of notes. I have had the profugure a couple of times because I'm an old guy and they give you pictures, they give you pictures afterwards, Oh my god. And more than once I've asked my wife should I Instagram? There's no no, do not do that and be so popular me? So uh? Not as populars another one loves and the bus and then you

keep calling it loves on the bus. I'm adding a word and changing a few, but all right, day fully and I always talked about ad nauseam. The people would tell us to shut up. In the eighties and nineties, how funny your videos were because we're like, uh, we're big fans of Buster Keaton and the sight gags were amazing. Who thought did you think of the sight gags? Well? Most of um yeah, Like so you're a comedian. I like the comedy. That's my that's like that. How did

you get that talent and music like that? Like you thought a really great like video after video after video had amazing sight gags. Thanks, I don't know. I just that question. I listened to that. That's a good that's a question. I don't know the answer there. Where do you rights come from. I just listened to that. Yeah, but I'm a comedian. I mean, you're a comedian, but you're two things. My brain is split. I just listened to the voices in my head. You know, did I understand?

Are you a Buster Keaton fan? Absolutely? Well? The um I mean in Almost Paradise won the uh one, the barn falls down. That's a total that's a total Buster Keaton. Right. Yeah,

I'm showing that where I live in Winnipeg for some reason. Next, I show a funny movie every month, and I'm showing that one and um, you know Steamboat Bill Jr. Where the wall falls and Buster keat and everyone knows it was a real wall right and would have killed him, but he got like the best mathematicians in America to like, to measure, I didn't have the best mathematicians. I had some guy with green hair and a nose wherein going

yeah it'll be fine. No, no, literally, I mean this was not It was not c g I. It was a real, literal like barn wall that fell on me, barely missing my head. And it wasn't even just would they had to reinforce it with steel so it wouldn't like torque and like miss the mark. So it was just like really really really would have killed me dead if I had like moved a few inches either way.

And I was like, we're doing one take and I'll try really hard not to act like I'm scared right now, and they can't practice it with the dummies your height because because that we're doing the wall with one. But your kidding. Please tell me you really had mathematicians. Well I think he did some math, but oh my god, how many accolades and catchphrase this can one podcast have?

Lost culturesta is hosted by Matt Rodgers and bow Yang has been named to best of lists in Time, Esquire, Vulture, Time Out in New York, and many more publications, and they are about to embark on a national tour early next year. Lost Culture Rista's remains an absolute must listen week after week, and if you need proof, just check out this clip from their episode Piss Sussy, Ciss Pussy

with a woman smiles Patty Harrison. And after you listen, follow at Lost Culture Stas on Twitter to see if Matt and Bowen are coming to your hometown in en roll that clip. If you had all the money in the world, as the pop star that is Patty. What does your concert look like? How does this start? Like? Who comes out? Like? What is there a story? Like?

What kind of fantastical aesthetic elements are we happening? Like if you could do a World to War like the N nine tour or formation, like what is the Patty tour? So my tour would um be called? Well, let's not start there, Okay, let's actually say that it would be an audio visual experience. There would be you know, there would be pre filmed things that and there will be huge screens and there would be lights, lights that would come up. So the so the concert is about to start.

Imagine concerts about to start. Everyone just like there's what a stadium, it's like fifty people and then and then the lights go out and everyone's like and then yeah, and then some lights come on and then the screen comes on too, and then I come out and then music is playing. Oh my god, there's so much music playing. Everyone's dancing and screaming. I come out. Dancers come out, they're dancing too. They're like, they're all they're doing the routine.

We we painstakingly, painstakingly practice. I come out. I start singing a medley of my original my hits from my first album, and it's like a medley, yes, that, but it's like in the key of another one of my hits and then all in the same key because it sets you up for the next song that you're going into in the medley. Yeah, it's and this is like an amazing medley. Then my outfit also, by the way,

looks beautiful to describe it. Everyone is like people are taking pictures of it, People are taking people of thousands of people. Are people describing your outfit as like, yes, the gag, slag, say a gag, people are saying gags anything. Well, one person actually is screaming a slur, just like one person out there over all the screams of adoration, I can kind of hear one slur and I'm like, I think I know what they're saying it. I think it's a slur, and but I'm like, I'm not trying to

focus too much on it. So I'm like I'm like focusing on and again, my choreography is slightly less intense than the dancers. I can fully focus on dancing and I need time to kind of vamp and like can stop the points here and there and be like and then I point and I'm like and I stopped, and there there's also I'm not lip sinking, but there is a vocation from the background that has the chorus on it,

and I'm really yeah, and people are like ah. And then I hear I hear like in the distance, I hear like you're like, and I'm like, wait, not only did I hear a slur, but I think I recognized the voice of and I'm so I'm like, we're going into my first My first song is actually one off the new album, and it's like it's it's a song that's like go fast and then so it's like yeah, and then it's like images images that correspond with the song. So the song is actually about moving on. And then

so that's going on. And then a spotlight not planned a spotlight, I'm like, what is going on? A spotlight goes the crowd. We guess who was in the crowd general? That was it? That really was because we talked about her last time and she's erect she's how it's this time? Yeah, she did something she got like sheeni implant, she connect pectomy. Pect was to remove the penis, but she got a penio implant. She got a penectomy and then got her penis removed, and then got a peno past and African

rhino horn in the place. So actually, when I sit with seventeen inches, it's actually closer to four and a half feet long. And she's lancing my fans, just like lancing my fans in the crowd, like oh, there's like a stack of my fans. I'm so sad, I'm crying on stage. I'm like, stop the music. But they turned my mic off because she did so. She talked to

the tech people, She talked to the powerful. That's when I realized that she talked to the tech people ahead of time, and that is not That was like, oh my god. And still the music, this is bigger than And then there's a part in the music where all the percussion drops and it's just like it's like it's like this arpeggio of like harp. It's a beautiful part of the song. And I'm like, Ellen, get out of here. And she comes up on stage does a flip with still about six of my fans stacked on her horn,

does a flip. The centrifugal force of the flip flings the fans at me off of like and she's about she's flipping probably like twenty feet up in the air. So it's like it's insane she can get that high. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's like a fool and it's like it's a really fast rotation. Don't but all the fans ad fans have come towards you. They smack into me, knocked me down in my big platform. She's break embarrassing, so

embarrassing concert. Yeah. Jennifer Bowman, who's our costumer, she's like made those shoes herself, like special and so she, huh did she get out of the arena? Jenna for Bowman doesn't come to my shows because we have a bad relationshow so then so that's the whole thing. And then um so then by that time you're knocked out and the fans, I guess are long dead by now, yeah, at least several like six and maybe something that got injured in the and they're like they're all mad. They're like,

this is not what we came here to see. So now I'm here to see petty Man. But at this point they've all turned because they're mad, and they're all saying tranny. Oh you tranny, And I said stop it, stop it. And then that's when Ellen turns to me and guess what she fucking says, No what I guess what she says. She says, you are a bit And my heartbreaks because I believe it and it's Ellen. It's Ellen, and it's not hero of mine. In that moment, like

she's gotten every wants to turn on you. They obviously have taken sides other even though they've killed probably some of the people that they know. Yeah, they start killing. I mean, fans are so mad, screaming tranny. They start killing each other, killing each other, just so you know, just so you know. At the at my tours, all my fans are siss because I won't let trans people because I don't like trans people. I'm a tur and it's a it's turf's only. Yeah, Turf's only for them

who aren't with it. And they're all and they're all straight, beautiful, straight beautiful, yeah, straight, beautiful, gorgeous. They're saying tranny. But also Ellen, I remember originated the pronunciation tranny tronni yes with with an H and two ends the R O N n E. I try and she's like, Hey, you know why I say it that way? And I was like, oh why, oh in this night, couldn't get any worse. And she's like, because it's a play on pronunciation of

the Vietnamese language, because I know you're Vietnamese. To you, Tranny just just cuts deeper, twist the knife. She fucking she fucking puts that knife screw drive, electric screwdriver. She's more than just twisting the knife. I am. Yeah, yeah, really went there. That's and that's a gorgeous tour and that is literally just Stockholm where the tour starts. That's literally just the first leg of the tour. And talk about why Stockholm? Why is that meaningful? Rich culture, a

lot of amazing art. Their government, like the government in Sweden, it's just like really progressive socially, you know, the access to healthcare, the way people like treat each other, even um predominantly white blonde. Yes, yes, it's it's a sort of easier when matters and a lot of amazing pop comes out of Scandinavia. But see the thing about Sweden and the thing that it's it's just it's a great case study in homogenizing people to more easily governed and

more easily socialized and provide access. If the people look at the same it's easier. Yeah. Absolutely. Once you all look the same, then you all act the same, then you all buy tickets to the same concert, and it's beautiful. That's a really good economy model. I disagree, Okay, but you're you're still like everything I set up into this point, would I was setting up that you would say that, so I would agree, and then I changed my mind in real time. Okay. And that's what people come to

expect for my shows. Yeah, that they're going to expect to like, except, for example, get through it and live. Yeah. Yeah, that might not be the case. Well that's why they turned on each other. Yes, what And the tourists called sis heats only its radical beautiful. Yeah, it's called beautiful

Turfs colon sis heads only, uh colon Uh. Dharma and Greg live for one night only, and they're they're they're the actors who played Dharma and Gregg are there and yeah, j scientologists famous scientologists, and I'm and I'm giving I give her like a twenty minute platform in the middle of show just to talk about scientology. And she's like, really cares my about it because she's like, I know, it's so crazy. You guys probably think I'm crazy. Yeah, it really is a lot of it's so stupid, right,

like really learning people in with that. Yeah, She's like, you know what, what might be fun? What if you just like took some friends and you went to like the Church of Scientology as a joke because the doors are always open. You should see how like crazy stupid some of the decoration is. It's so gaudy, and everyone's like, ha ha, that's so funny. But it's like under the guys of like, oh yeah, come see how stupid this

thing is. And then but it's people, I'm like, they're gonna go, and they all go, And how many of them a fall for it? How many of them did you? Did you not hear me? Are you? I said, they all all of them? But I know all of them go? But how many stay? How many signs on the dotted line when comes push comes to shove, Well, when push comes to shove, jokes on you, bitch. They were already scientilog just because it's also a scientilog, just only only

beautiful turnsologist who are also turfs. It's called beautiful Turfs colon Um they had only Colin Darmer and Gregg Live when I only Colin. The newest addition to Forever Dog is this next podcast, The Very Funny Mall Talk, hosted by comedians and l a mall aficionado's Emily Faye and Page Wildon, who do not think that hanging out at the mall should stop in adulthood. Each episode, a guest joins them to discuss classic stores, mall memories, and recent

mall going adventures. In the following clip, Emily and Paige talked to comedian Solomon Georgio about Cinnabon, J C. Penny and so much more so then you never went back to Macy's. I did eat at Cinabon every day. I used to do the worst thing ever, cause Cinnabon had they had those They had the particular ones, which was like the peak On one, and also I don't think they have anymore. They actually had a root beer milkshake. Oh yeah, so I'd have. We had the same exact

reaction for that. So what I would do is order both of those things at the same time every day, oh every day within those three days that I was working there, and many times before and after until they no longer served the root beer. Oh I thought you were going to say, until they would no longer serve you. They were like, excuse me, you are cut off. We can see how soft your teeth are. They we have we have a moral responsibility vibrating for the last thirty

minutes that I need you to stop. So where else did you work? I'm trying remember all the place that I worked, because I had a lot of job at the time, and that I would quit in dramatic ways because I did work at a J. C. Penney. But it wasn't at that mall at um oh my god, it was Aldwood Mall. It was called It's in Linwood, Washington, which is a North Seattle um and I worked at J C. Penny Is there? There was a j C. Pennies at North Gate, which I went to many times.

Did you used to shop at j C Penny so many times? It's my mom's favorite place to buy her kids presence till this very day. I'm pretty sure she's currently in that jay Zy Penny trying to see if I want an oversize tweety bird shirt or and you do just small pair of boxers? No, she buys me briefs that's tidy Whitey's. She never knows my size. It's always a double excel or the smallest, and you're like,

have you met me before? I do feel like j C. Penny is also like in my mind, such my Mom's like department store where it's like I feel like it's like Macy's is a little more like Elevant. It's like a little fancier j C. Penney. It's like Mom's like, I'm going to Penny's. I'm getting a deal. In my mind, is that where all like your school clothes and stuff came from. Um No, I wish it was mostly Ross and Marshall's also at the mall. I mean, we love,

we love Marshall's. I Marshall's is definitely a clean a cleaner Ross, but it's really again not I mean Ross. I will roster if there's an emergency of some kind where I simply can't get to a Marshall's. But it's a war zone. It's crazy there. But I'll tell you this right now. When it comes to home goods, Ross is crushing the game. I recently bought a teapot there. Ross is where the great deals are and home good no one goes, and that's part of the Ross. Yeah,

it's not Destiny. I feel like that that is the one part of Ross. Whereas Marshall's overall, I'm like, great, everything's great. Marshall's doesn't have good deals on home goods. I was in Marshall's recently looking for a teapot, and I was like, most of these teapots are like twenty five dollars. Disrespectful to the game. Yeah, why am I even here? Might as well? Might as well go to Williams Sonoma friends and big. Look. I'm just saying, if you have a store, I can't. I shouldn't be able

to buy three shirts for the same price. Weird. I don't understand where that's going on. But I did then immediately going to Ross and like, or you could. I got a beautiful red one at four night and nine. That's amazing. I actually also need a tea kettle. Will report back the Ross, see what you find. The one in Pasadena is very good. That's the best one I haven't been in most of the most of the clothes in that one are on the wreck. Oh how as

opposed to something to be said, rampled on the floor. Yeah, that's crazy, but I've only been there when it first opened a ten an episode. Sure, I can't speak for an afternoon as I can't imagine um. But actually even I remember one time, because we went to Ross so many times, that I poop my pants at a Ross and everyone was like, correct, the same thing. My mother refused to buy me a new pants the only the only time that I have anyone's ever been like I need to buy pants at Ross. I need to like

I don't want to buy pants right now? Or was it like sit in your mistake? It was really won't happen again. I truly wish my mother had that decency and her where she was like I can't afford this, we can't. No, no, no. It was more like no this on purpose, which is like who ships their past that purpose? No, there's no winning part of that. You're not getting anything out of it, believe it or not. And it's like and like you're going to have to be in the car with me on the right back home.

So this hurts all of us. For everybody listening to Mary whole Hands a little podcast is like being stuck in a blender of early nineties FM radio. That sounds like a quote, but I just came up with it. Every time you listen to Mary whole Hands a little podcast, it's something different. A morning talk show, an advice show, a game show, a makeover show, a call in show, call out show, all from the mind of Mary hold Hand. Plus commercials like this one. Hey, the big concerce on

the beach. Let's go, but wait at to eat all these tacos. Just put them in your pants. You ever go on a on and reach into your pocket for a taco but it's all cold. No way. Taco pants are special pants of foil insulat pockets that keep your tacos warm all day. I'm in love with the taco pants. Taco pants. This next podcast was nameds best podcast for aspiring Comedians by Vulture, not because it talks about how

to succeed, but about how to fail. The Need to Fail with Don Finelle features comedians and entertainers at the top of their game, talking about all the rules they didn't get, all the shows they bombed, all the times they ate ship and their dreams felt more elusive than ever, and how they persevered through those times. In the following clip, Don talks with comedian, writer and improviser Neil Casey. So you kept your car, you have your car in New York.

My car in New York. And then I thirty days to figure out like where I'm gonna live and what's going on And the answer was ended up being that, um, I lived nowhere for five months. Um and uh uh I packed, I threw away a ton more ship. I got a storage unit over on the West Side Highway for the stuff I kept that wasn't in my car

and uh. And then I was homeless for from April of until September of or mid August, when I moved into Nick Coacher's room that I rented with like Grant O'Brien and Mary and Lennon and some good people there. And part of it was like I called it a UM. Once I was I could say, um, it's like a controlled homelessness because my thinking was if I, if I can just there's some places I needed to be, including um, the Torquo trip to South Carolina Williamstown Theater Festival, where

I teach improv classes. In the summertime, my family rents a beach house in June, so there was like if I could just cover these weeks, then I basically wouldn't need to pay rent for like I thought like three months that ended up being like a little over four. What did you do? How did you do this? I? Where did you stay? I stayed at my brothers a little bit a couple of nights, but he just had a bedroom. Did people know? Did you tell anybody about the people I asked to stay with? I did, yeah,

but nobody else knew. Nobody else knew because Hines and I were doing our show then too. So anytime Hines and I would do Small Man, I would stay at his house tonight before and I'd sleep there and then we would But did you tell him I don't have a place? Okay? Yeah he knew, like my my my closest friends knew. Um and I would stay hind stated at my brother's. I stayed at Dan Blacks one time. I stayed a Glove Bands one time. These are all people right in Manhattan too, Yeah yeah, yeah, kind of

kind of kind of keeping it honest that way. I lived at the green point Y m c A for a little while with a lot of old with a lot of old guys. Are you mentally during this how are you are you determined? Or are you like fucking low? Well, I was throwing in retrospect. I believe that what I was doing was I was eliminating absolutely everything that I had going on in my life so that I could like reboot the few things that I think would actually work.

Another very exciting addition to Forever Dog this year was the beloved cold sensation podcast The Ride, a show about theme parks hosted by three childless men in their thirties, Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, and Scott Gardner. This year, podcast The Ride accomplished perhaps the most impressive feat in all of comedy podcasting, releasing an eighteen episodes in eighteen days series about Hollywood's Universal City Walk that was rightly named Best Mini Series of Team by Vulture. And here's a

clip from that very series, the City Walk saga. Let's clarify, this series is about city Walk at Universal Hollywood, not City Walk at Universal Orlando. That is an entirely different entity. We will not speak about that at all at all. This is only for Hollywood. And yes, now that is also lovely. It's a lovely place. Yeah. Well, in an endeavor like this requires rules and parameters, right, and which is why you know we've carefully caged ourselves in with

the nineteen part system. And where did where did nineteen come from? I feel like that because they aren't necessarily all even in the amounts of stores and restaurants. But there's I think nineteen is a is a perfect number. Uh, And I don't want to be question perfection. But but if we had to analyze, what is it about nineteen?

Why is that the perfect amount? You know? One of the impetus is for for doing this is that, like we met a guy, I think a guy almost undervalues he is a mentor figure maybe or a voice of authority. Oh yeah, he's here a sector keeper he could know who could have said it themselves, the being himself. Um so yeah, joining us today on the podcast is uh, we call him the sector keeper. He keeps the different sectors of city walk Universal CityWalk sector keeper, please of course,

universal CityWalk, Hollywood sector keeper. Actually, if I may correct, your spirit can across the country country start to dissipate. When you hit the Mississippi, I lose strength. Y. Yeah, So when we talk about nineteen sectors, um, this is sort of a number that's been around for as long as time. Like the number twenty three, the significant number of the Jim Carey film nineteen is a it's it exists in many different UH codes, and it's embedded secretly

all over the city Walk property. That's fair to say, correct, Yes, as another World League of meaning, city Walk is a powerful place, a magical place, and so you must divide it into sectors to experience more than a sector it provides would be dangerous, Yes, if we have too much fun and too much discussion about like maybe say two sectors at once, it would be too much for sort of a normal mortal man or a woman to handle. So that's why we've divided it up into different sectors.

Because we were talking about all the city Walk at once, who knows what would happen. We would just be exhausted, you know, or we'd be here all day, well a week. And many people in this city or visiting Los Angeles from other cities have gone up to city Walk, and I can only imagine. I mean, there's no there's no wrong way to do city Walk, but there's also a perfect way to do it. And and it it seems to me sector keeper that UH by laying out the

divine sectors. You were providing the your ideal way of experiencing. Uh this, this mall, I would call it a perfect sort of roadmap. Yes, look at us, a roadmap, a roadmap that will provide you uh many things. Discovery of popcorn okay and Popcornopolis, discoveries of board shorts at Billabong, discoveries of watches that's, fossil discoveries, discoveries of water massages at zen Zone okay, and discoveries of well priced women's fashion at the Angels and stuff, yes, like scarves and

and dresses, but a reasonable price forward. And that is your first sector. Okay, that sector wator one, Popcornopolis, Fossil, zen Zone and Angel. My boys venture into the sector, discuss, but be careful. If you go outside of the sector, my spirits will burn in hell, Wait what we'll spit out the drink I had of my mouth? Did you really? That's what's at stake here. Each sector will help piece together my soul. Once you accomplish each sector, you will

get a sector stone. Okay, nineteen sector stones make up my soul. Oh my god, So please go forth, be careful and I'll be here watching over you as your guardian. Guardian setting you free, sorry to bring you back quick untill here. So yeah, like you can hang out, but like you were, setting you free. Basically are you until like Casper, where like you have unfinished business or yes, I have unfinished business in the city walk Okay, I can't get into the details. I'll tell you more as

you discover more. Alright, just know that I will go to hell if you don't do this. Okay. Well that's a lot to put on us. Perhaps no podcast has followed a more bizarre and self destructive trajectory than the podcast for Laundry. Originally pitched to us as a podcast to do your laundry to we honestly had no idea

what we were getting into. Over the course of the last year, host and laundry obsessive Brett Davis has been arrested during a live recording, gotten married to a bottle of tied detergent, and piste off pretty much every guest that has been unfortunate enough to be booked on the show, guests including Janine Garoffalo why It's Senac, Tom Sharpling, Bridy Elliott, and Chris Gathard. Please tolerate the following clip featuring Awful

Brett and the wonderful Sashir Zamata. You know what I do, I've got um if you see my one my belt, they've got it looks like a little like a nineties cell phone holder's kind of thick but jam packed type pods. Wow, that's very convenient. Like you know how people walk around with dog treats. I'm sort of like that, but with that's great. Do you like hand amount of strangers or just using for yourself to strangers for myself whatever? Whatever?

You know, Sometimes I check in on the laundromat and I just put my head and said, everything okay in here, that's really nice of you. And then if if some it's never happened, but something like I've forgot my launder mat and they may I have my card and my now I don't have my detergent and be like, hey, I toss some of teod. Wow, that's like a commercial for tide pods. I'd be worried that they would melt and do commercials. I don't any well, yeah I do. I used to do more than I do now. But yes,

do you know any advertising agencies? Um? Not like, I don't have like good relationships with anybody I know of some are you looking for sponsorship? Well yeah, I always tied, But I think I have a lot of great laundry detergent commercial ideas. I'm sure you do. There was one commercial audition for it, actually for Tide. I didn't get it, but I auditioned for it, and it was like a mom role where you had to like be with a

kid who was messy. And those auditions with other kids are always weird because you don't know the kid, but their mom is there and you're like trying to like convince them to chill out and be okay with this new adult in this very strange situation. Interesting, there was one I did for Loves where I had to hold a baby, and that was very strange and like a live baby. I had a hold of live baby, and they were like the casting people were asking me questions

like do you like kids? Do you like being with kids? And I'm like holding it as far away as possible, like yeah, this is a blast for me, And it wasn't because it was wet. It was a very wet baby. One baby like kind of being passed around all day. I think they had multiple babies being passed around. I think that that baby maybe did a couple auditions and then they're like, okay, we get we get what that baby's deal is, and then they bring in another baby.

Do you still have your sides? I don't know. That was a mental fun segment. Yeah. Sorry, it's like sort of living your dream. Yeah. I mean I've done other stuff since then. But I could be the baby. You hold me like a little baby. You're a little bigger than the baby. I could be a little baby. I need my laundry. The baby didn't have lines. It was just it was just the adult that had the line of the lines. So baby just sat there. I could coop,

you could do you want to improve this? You're okay, yeah, let's do it. Wow. Did I get in your lap? No? No, you can say right there, okay, and we'll just pretend that you are in my lap. Okay, all right. As a busy mom, I don't have time to just clean up all the time when I'm on the go, when I'm on the go and my and my son's on the go. I use loves. Yeah, it seems great. That was really great. Good what do you use loves. What's love is the diaper company? Oh? I thought we were

doing a laundry commercial. Oh, let's let's go back and do a commercially. I'm a busy mom and I don't have time to just run around pick up my kid's clothes all the time. As as you can see, little Harvard gets very upset often. So when I need to get my kid's clothes ready to go, there's a reason for this. Okay, I need to give my kids clothes ready to go. I used Tide. Oh see, look how happy is No, I'm using Tide Ti pud. Those were your first words, ti pud? Oh, don't eat it? Don't

eat it? Sweet? M m hm. Wow that was great. Yeah. I wish there was a casting director here because that would have been amazing. Well, we could just said this, they do radio ads. This is true. Yeah, um, this could be on Spotify. Imagine if you don't have the Spotify premium and you're just kind of going through your day and then you hear that in between your you know, workout playlist or yeah, so exciting. It would be so exciting, like, Wow, maybe I should get tied. Is that this year? Is that?

Brett Well They're Doing Well. One of two podcasts that Forever Dog, hosted by the prolific duo of Lindsay Kati and Kelly Nugent. Public Domain Theater started out as a bonus episode and has since grown into one of the most rewarding and binge able back catalogs in the comedy podcast universe. Public Domain Theater is like Master Best Theater

meets Mystery Science Theater three thousand. Lindsey, Kelly and their guests read a classic or not so classic work of literature from the public domain and interrupted with hilarious commentary. If you're looking for an episode to start with, try Sherwood Anderson's The Egg with guest Riah Butcher, brand Stoker's The Dulatists with guest Mary Holland, named one of Indie Wire's best podcast episodes, Or Irving E. Cox's Love Story with guest Nick Wiger, which is where this clip comes from.

True to Yourself. George found a strange comfort in the words, and his fear was gone. He squared his shoulders and faced the mouth of her gun. True to Yourself. That was something worth dying for. He saw a flicker of emotion in the old woman's eyes admiration. He couldn't be sure. For the moment, a shot rang out from the end of the corridor, and the top director fell back, nursing a hand suddenly bright with blood. Wait, what did somebody

else shoot her? Rove roving band? Or is it Jenny? Oh? No, no, no, no, let him go. It was Jenny's voice, Jenny. She was sheltered by a partly opened door at the foot of the stairway. Don't be a fool, the old woman replied. He's seemed too much. It doesn't matter who would believe him. You're upset. You don't realize he's mine and I want him. The director will give you a refund of the purchase. Rice, God, you didn't understand me. I don't want one of your

pretty automatons. Anybody can buy them for a few shares of stock. I want a man, a real man. I want to belong to him. He belongs to you. You bought him. No, no, and that's what's wrong. We really belong to each other. An old woman asked at George, and he saw the flame flicker of feeling in her eyes and tears, tears of regret. Why we have you outnumbered, the old woman said quietly to Jenny, I don't care. I have a gun. I'll use it as long as

I'm able. The moral squad raised their weapons. The director shook her head imperiously, and they snapped to attention again. If you take him from us, she called out to Jenny, you'll be outlawed. We'll hunt you down if we can. I want him, Jenny persisted, I don't care about the rest of it. The old woman nodded at George. He couldn't believe that she meant it. The director was on her home ground, in her headquarters building, back by an arms squad of stone faced Amazons. She had no reason

to let him go. She walked beside him as he moved down the hall. When they were when they were twenty ft from the guard, she closed her thin hand on his arm. Her eyes swam with tears, and she whispered, there truly is a love potion, not this nonsense we bottled here, but something real and very worthwhile. You and this girl have found it. I know that from the way she talks. She doesn't say anything about ownership, and that's as it should be, as it has to be

for any of us to be happy. Hold tight to that all the rest of your life. Don't ever believe in words. Don't fall for any more love stories. Believe what you feel deep inside, what you know yourself to be true. You men who learned to break away, are our only hope to I'm sorry, who's talking right now? This is a little imperial. This is the old woman who's been shot. Why did she all? I don't know, she's flipped. Most of us don't see that yet. I do.

I know what it used to be like. Someday there mate, which so she's like over ninety years old. Someday there may be enough men with a stamina to take back the place of dominance that we stole from them. We thought we wanted it for decades before. We had been screaming women's right. Oh, this is horrible, This is a nightmare. This is horrible, This is horrible. This at this story. Her thin lips twisted in the steer and she spattered, disgusted. Finally we took what we wanted, and it turned to

ashes in our hands. We made our men play things, We made them slaves, and after that they weren't men anymore. But what we stole isn't the sort of thing you can hand back on a silver platter. Your shot. Why is she talking so long? I don't know, I am I hate this, but what we stole isn't the sort of thing you can hand back on a silver platter. You men have to get enough courage to take it away from us. God. Her grip tightened on his arm. There's a fire door at the end of the hall.

If you push the emergency button, you'll close it. That will give you a five or ten minutes start. I can't help you anymore. They were abreast of Jenny. She sees Jenny's hand and thrust it into his. Beat it kids, there's a there's a bachelor camp on the north Ridge. You can make it and from here on in what he says goes The old woman added, are you kidding me? Don't forget it? One is fastest growing podcasts, an absolute

phenomenon that's just getting started. Please enjoy the following clip from Race Chaser, an episode by episode discussion, dissection and dissemination of RuPaul's drag Race hosted by the franchise is Very Own Golden Child and Prodigal Son, Alaska, thunder Fuck and Willem and if you live in the Los Angeles area, do not miss Race Chaser's very first live show, taking place Friday, January eleven at the Theater at the Ace Hotel. Tickets on sale now at Race Chaser Tickets dot com.

Um now for this challenge. For the first time, there's a live studio audience and a fake band. The band is lovely fake because you could tell it's the track. Then you're like big like nowadays, they would have the pit crew doing it and they're underway for sure. Yeah. It's very rocker. No shoes, no shoes, Yeah, for sure. I don't want to see a sock called go Go Boys. Go Go Boys. Please keep your socks on. The health departments coming by to light matching socks please tonight, No holes?

What'd you say? Um? So, the girls, the basic rundown is I think from kind of like top to bottom. Jessica surprises and really delivers and is confident. Pandora's voice is kinda but like she's you know, doing her like rock moves. Yeah, hey, now you're an all star, get your game on. She looks kind of smash mouth, smash mouth, crimpy hair and like she's giving rocker and she's characterized.

She's giving me Lindsay Lohan mall rocker from exactly. That hair could have been teased out, she could have had a couple of scabs, but you know she's clean, concise package. She demands innovation as she walks out and peels off one piece of sequin dot fabric. Honey, we've all done it. I've never demanded applause. I've never demanded, but I've done the sequin dot reveal. I know I've done shows you anyway, I'm not no one. No one sees this reveal coming.

I'm wearing fabric. No one knows that I'm going to take this off, keeping this song for the whole show. I think any time that you have to go out for a challenge and you have to get an audience ready that like has been sitting come on, get yeah, I cut your hands, it's always like a risk because they could always just cut to the audience given newts. Yeah.

Also keep in mind this audience has to watch how many queens sing the same exact song, uh six seven times in a row, which, Okay, it's gonna be hard to get that audience going for sure. Um Sahara actually forgets some of the lyrics, but Tatti adds her own, She gets some chant and t a t I bitch. Tati turns the party every time. She's a great performer. Raven two, Raven does really well, not surprisingly. And she's got a little something that for me is like a

wet cotton ball pulling cart. There's just a thin strip of panty over a padded ass. And to me, that's just like, I don't know, it's just the padded patio as with a thong over It is a rare, thrilling moment. It's a very Inland Empire moment. Because the girls do it. Morgan does it, Raven does it. It doesn't to me resemble a real ass enough for it to be like, for it to have the impact that a thong is

supposed to have. Yeah, I'm not saying put on depends, but put on a light panty French cut a brief you know, Yes, it draws attention to the wrong area. It's like, oh, okay, that's it's it's more for drag queens than it is for like the audience, because it doesn't it doesn't, I mean, and Raven like keeps turning around like showing her ass off, and it's like it's like like a um, like a loaf of bread with

a piece of tape over. It doesn't resemble an ass and the scene from the Pantyhose is off center from Okay, I'm not gonna lock off points for that girl presentation. I'm going to lock off voice points presentation anyway. But she's fares well Ruth's living because she looks like Ruth's maybe stepdaughter. She has a tattoo of jinxmun Soon on her forearms and she looks like Terry Nun. She's selling it. They love it. She has Terry Nuns hair on, basically,

and I believe that's an exposed course. That dum tyre I'll do it every um tire is dressed like Beyonce does rock. Basically, that wig has been around the world at this point, it has it has Michaels All Stars promo. Wig has been around the world for sure, and she's giving Beyonce choreography codeography. Um. She walks backwards like Beetlejuice at one point and says, I'm gonna do this if you are this is the case that the clothes there are taking over and it's especially for rock and roll.

It's supposed to be about connection with this, the roll in the moment free, but she's like, I'm doing this thing with the coch and I'm not singing the words where they go at all. She was in her own she marched into her own band, and I was on a on a one person loop in her head. But she had immunity, so she was vulnerable. She made mistakes and she learned from it probably and she thanks yeah, and she's very thankful for it. I bet they vot

your critique. Sketch comedy and podcasting are an absolute match made in heaven, and that's why we were very excited this year to produce John Milhiser and z Cut Singer's ten part series Radio Shorts, a collection of comedy sketches for your Ears, written and performed by over thirty of New York and l A's premier sketch comedians. One of our favorites was Starl Summers, a sketch about an unfortunate cruise ship entertainer, written by JESSEU Sparza and Cat Pillarti,

performed by Capellarti and presented here in its entirety. Hello Lisen, Joe Hopey cruise ship to for Latin dev Hire Cruisian singeries Starl Summers and I've been seen on the stick for nine our Street no rakes, and my skin is literally burning off my body. This gut is a fire. Now, Corey Glamor, if you're out there, please come and relieve me. She's got hid in the class. She's putting it down. This girl, John, I'm talking about me. I am on fire.

This is a crow, but never about me. Does anyone in the audience have any sunscreen, blankets, hats, one hat? Anybody with a hat, I'll come to you. Yeah. Oh, mama's got a brand new hat. Off off. Oh everything hurts to the touch. Jesus, I can't wear a hat, all right? Never mind? That is the most pain, this campustion.

What do you get what I'm doing? How are you guys enjoying the coolsh Now, let's not forget the s S Infinity is your destination cruise ship and ranked in the top five shimp a face in the Western Hemisphere for a cruise ship. Thank you time. Yeah, I'm gonna sit down because baby, I'm feeling dizzy. Ye, how did my asshole oh no, no, no, no, oh, how about a joke. Here we go. If I don't die of an intense sunburn today, I will definitely develop a no noma.

Are at the very least based self carstonoma? A skin cancer NS in my family? Who wants a conga line? I gonna take them out of a minute, guy, little you share? Come on up, Yeah, let's start a conkline. Hands right on the shoulders there. Oh, I should get the funk. Who the fuck? Yeah, we're back. You know what it is. It's like I woke up in the middle of surgery. Good Field, all the pain. Good enough about me? I hear we have a corporate team from you.

I'm on board today. Can give me a Hey Star Star? Yeah? We get the bucking families from the back hills of George and Dick. Can I get a Hey Stara? Now? Are there any doctors or nurses on board? Because I'm I'm pretty deep in hate struck here. I'm smelling food, Jose, Come on, doctor, doctor, give me the news. I got a bad case of love and you come a bad case of skin peeling right off my body here. Oh, I'm feeling kind of shaky here. I don't know which

time I have here. But more importantly, we have some newly whats one part today speak to you. We got some lily wets. No, welcome to you, Diane. This goes out to you from Richard. Just gonna walk from off the stage here. That is a drop, a free fun drop dumb on the left of the stage. Ok, it's fall away. You look at me. Oh he's falling. Only what I'm so sad? I thought I would be with my family when I died. Happy marriage, good, It's just dead.

Next up is Relatively Healthy, Jenny Stoler's podcast about health, sex, wellness, dating, and self care. This year, Janey has conducted some of the most honest and revealing interviews that you will ever hear on a comedy podcast, covering topics such as breast cancer, body acceptance, grief, plastic surgery, polyamory, addiction, heart transplants, mental illness, and menstrual products. Definitely, one of the highlights of Relatively Healthy this year was Janey's two part series on abortion,

which included this clip with guest Kim Callish. When you're trying to defend abortion, you try to make it seem like it's not that big of a deal. So it doesn't feel scary, and that's fair and that's fine. But for me, I got lost in it because all I was hearing from people who are pro choices like it's fine, it doesn't matter, is fine. I don't regret it. And you know, I'm two years out, and that first do

date that came through, I was a mess over. I had to go take a hike up a mountain with my dog and I just left for the day and I was like, peace out, I need to go do this. And sometimes I still do the math of how old that kid would be if I had kept if I had kept it, and I and I go through it, and I still think about it, and I never questioned my decision, but I always think what if I had made a different decision. So in the in the battle of abortion, that seems to get really lost, and I

just wish. I know, there's gotta be more women than just me thinking about it, so and I would think that I'm probably in the majority. It's just that there's such a shame because we all live in the shadows that we don't know how to talk about it, you know, and we're scared of pissing people off. Too, I think

a lot of the time. I mean, there's also what you're saying is interesting because if there's a pressure to scream, you know, and some people they're just naturally wired like this or they feel this way, they want to scream about it. They love it, it's the best thing that

they ever did, no complicated feelings. But if we also want to talk to people who don't necessarily understand it, sometimes like we're all having different conversations, Like there's just not people who are a pro choice and anti choice sometimes are just not time of the same thing, Like they're not talking about the same experience, the same type

of story. So by being able to fill in those blanks with all the stories as many as possible actual experiences, I feel like that does a lot of service to you. Don't just like undo some of those huge divides. Yeah, I would agree with that. I also think that society at whole as whole, but also women, we hold women up to such a high moral standard that's much higher than men. We can't mess up and so, and we

represent all women. One thing you do means everything for everybody, right, So you tend to get the extremes on both sides and you just lose nuance. And I don't know one topic or conversation in this world that doesn't have nuance, you know, And I just I don't know. Yeah, I don't think I'll ever be the person that's screaming at the top of my lungs that I've had an abortion, but like I'll sit down and talk to anybody who

will have it, you know. And I just feel like there's a huge majority in there that we just don't get talked about all that much. Yeah, and then that just keeps propelling the stigma forward because then it's shut out. And then if the one in three wear their voices. So I'm not going to add myne right, We'll also take it from a if you take it from a

pro life stance. If all you see are women screaming about the how they don't care but you believe that life begins at conception, I totally understand why you think they were crazy. You think they're screaming how proudly are to kill a baby? Right, and so you lack the

ability to ever have a conversation with them. If there isn't a group of people saying no, hang on, hang on, I do believe I had a baby and I had to make this horrific choice and it was rough, but I had to make this choice, and I can't make that the choice for you, and you can't make that choice for me. There are few podcasts that make better use of sound and atmosphere than the Very Cool, Very

Trippy Sassy Tarot, hosted by Veronica so Orio. Described as an audio journey through the world of the Taro, Veronica provides interactive readings, explains the meaning of the cards and how to interpret them, shares unforgettable stories from her life, and brings on guests for live readings, and all the while she's accompanied by a live improvised soundtrack courtesy of musician Peter Mark Kendall. Sassy Tarot is a truly unique

listening experience. Just listen to this clip featuring Beyond's very own Mike Kelton. My Angel experiences have been I don't know a lot I got. I had a terrible I was going to do this work. I was hired as an actress for this high level thing, and UM I had a terrible, random, like out of nowhere fight with the producer I have never fought in my life. I'm so against I don't know myself either. I know that I get upset about it. Conflict makes me very stressed.

I will say things frontally, but I don't know how that escalated. So and it turned into some mostly it was me in a corner being like defending myself, and so I felt like a cage animal. And that has never happened in my life. And I left very like thank you, I love, very like shaky, and was like funk. That has never happened. Like I try to like look back and regret it, regret having reacted or said or

and I couldn't regret really anything. So I was kind of calmed that way, like I don't think there's one thing that I could have done differently, frankly, honestly, but I don't even regret it, and not in a bad way, like I wish maybe it wouldn't have gone that way, but I don't regret it. But I couldn't get this like terrible yucky post fight like doom, you know, like

this like darkness and yeah, your hearts. So I went two days later to get a raky session because I wanted to clear that energy and also I was frankly losing my mind. I felt like they put like energetic like grips on me or something. Yeah, that can happen. It can stick to you for sure. If someone gets to you, if they managed to lower your vibration, you're they get you in a bad place emotionally. I've heard it's easier to to get it to attack you. Uh. And I have a little story about that. Um two

petty petty petty story. I love Carol. So I went to get the Reiky session and I'm just like laying there and she's doing her thing. But one of the images that I had, it was so heavy, so strong. Before my accident, I prayed to Michael. I was like, please Michael, because that's my no, no, my Italian grandpa, that's this angel. And like we just we all prayed to Michael. Not pray too, but ask. So Duran Virtue is the one who taught me like when you want

help outside help, you need to ask. Yeah, you have to communicate with your masters or whatever. Because free will is so free will. You're going about your left and then you're like I don't know what to do with this. I don't know what to do with this. Instead of using your brain, like that you can just go anyone who's qualified to help me with this, any idea, any thought, any person, please send it my way because I need

this help. And then you at least are open in your brain to receive a solution versus just like staying in the asking place. If you stay in the negativity of it, yes, you kind of like tear yourself apart because you're not even actively looking for a solution. While when you ask, even if you don't believe in angels, you're asking, so you're putting your mind already in that In that position, it's literally the idea of like asking for help when you need it, and people will help

you if you ask. Yes. So this is like a mental exercise to be like asked, the energy is available to please come to you and help you. So I do that. With the accident, I barely like I scratched

myself basically even though it was hard. When the reggae session was happening, I closed my eyes well um, and then two huge muscular legs came out from inside of mine and then they were so so so so so long that I got lifted from earth like literally saw the earth like becoming them, and so you visualized to like big muscular did this image. It's like when when you were between a sleep in a way that a bunch of images just come and they're not yours, but

they're not a dream. That that stage she was doing riky and I was like having random images and kind of thoughts because I'm still kind of conscious. And then two huge, muscular, super great big legs grow from inside of mine, but they were like energetic legs. They lift

me from the earth. And then I looked back and there's uh six ft long wings, gigantic just the I knew it was Michael, and I knew he grew from inside of me so as to say like you're protected from inside out, lifted me from the earth and then walked with his two it was milky white with like a blue energy lining or something. Walked me from where I was on earth too a few steps, and then he slowly put me down and then I landed in a different place, and then more images came like that

image went and then I realized. I was like, oh, I woke up. And then I told this girl who was even ricky to me, and she was like, oh, that was Michael, and I was like yeah, that's what I thought. She knew it was Michael. Yeah, she was like, this is Michael, and I was like, okay, yeah it was Michael. Oh my god, this story. I know, it's crazy,

I don't. I mean, it is a bold move to introduce yourself to the world as the sister podcast of Lost Culture Rista's, But that is exactly what Katherine Cohen and Pat Regan did this year with their podcast Seek Treatment, and over the course of twenty plus episodes, they have proven themselves more than worthy of that title. In fact, Seek Treatment and Lost Culturesta's were just named Best Extended Podcast Universe by Vulture. Wow. I didn't know that was

an award. Each week, Cat and Pat invite on a guest to have a fun, flirty conversation about boys, sex, fucking, dating, and love, and the proof is in the goddamn putting people. Please enjoy this clip from the episode Sucking a Dick is My Wedding with guest Amy Sullivan. I'm going through a lot of changes right now. I really feel like I'm growing right now. I think I'm growing right now. Oh good. I think I'm in this place where I'm getting things that I want and I think in like

three years, I'll have everything I ever wanted. What I'm scared of is as I'm like getting closer to the things they want, I'm realizing it not I I'm seeing it not make me happy, and I'm like, oh my god, this Jack and I've been chasing for a decade is going to be a um golden calf and I will never be happy. I feel like my life is so perfect right now and everything good is happening. I need to just enjoy it instead of being anxious all the time.

I do feel like you have to. I don't know, I don't quite know how to do it, but like you're performing. I was thinking about last night with you performing at Joe's Pub, like a literal thing you dreamed of in high school? Like how do we stop and be like holy shit? Even some for me, something as simple as like when I suck a deck, I'm like, I used to always want to suck a deck. Absolutely,

I was like twenty three. I would remember being twenty three and like having a dream that I took the deck and I was still closeted, and I was like, I wonderful. Ever in my whole life stuck a day even in something as simple sucking, you should be celebrating. The second dick is my Joe's pup show. You're just pub show at the Duke play. I just I just popped shout the Dukes where ticket link is now available this this podcast will come out to day and Joe's

pub show is Katherine's wedding. So if I transit the property stuck in your dick is my wedding, se me seking dicks wedding. I'm obsessed with the transident property and

pub is my wedding. Now listen. The second podcast in this episode, hosted by Lindsay Kati and Kelly Nugent, is the absolutely beloved teen Creeps, a weekly book club of why pulp fiction from the eighties and nineties, which joined Forever Dog at the beginning of and proceeded to rip through an incredible run of episodes, tackling titles such as Arlstein's The prom Queen, Christopher Pike's Starlight Crystal, and L. J.

Smith's Daughters of Darkness. Named one of the best podcasts by Cosmopolitan, teen Creeps is quote the book club you wish you had when you were young, except it's even better that you're discovering it now because you'll get more

of the jokes and beyond the books. One of the most compelling parts of teen Creeps is the seemingly endless amount of awkward, hilarious, and exquisitely relatable coming of age stories that Lindsay and Kelly share, including the following clip from the episode on earl Stein's Cheerleaders The Third Evil, in which Kelly introduces us for the first but not

the last time through her very very unforgettable aunt. So, I have an aunt who who nervous about where this is going, makes everybody do things for her, and like she's just very she's very strange. Like when she's talking to you, she'll get out this little notebook and like take notes on what you're saying. Yeah, she's intense, and she's also a person that will like, um, she just like likes being pampered and like massaged and like that

kind of thing, but like by people she knows. My god, Yeah, it's pretty weird, like and she'll always like um, like she said to my mom, they're the same age. She goes tweet do you want And that's how she talks to do you want me to braid your hair. And my mom was like what, And she's like, I just love the feeling of when people play with my hair. And you have such beautiful hair. Do you mind if

I play with it? Oh? God? But she will do things like that, like she watch an a SMR video Lady, she will like I remember when she used to stay at my grandparents house, there's like a guest bedroom in a guest bathroom. She would go into my grandparents and both had bathtubs. Go into my grandparents master bathroom, take bubble baths, leave the tub completely full of bubbles, bubbles all over the floor, and then just take all of their towels, use every single one of their towels, and

then put them wherever she would end up going. Then when she she put all the towels, like on the kitchen table or whatever wherever she was done with her towels, And my grandma was like, oh, when you're going upstairs, could you bring the towels up and put them in the hamper. And she was like, oh, a wet towel is too heavy for me to Oh my god, Oh my god, but you were holding what's insane? It was so much ship. She was like what was her name?

I don't know if I want to say it. It's not as good as I was homebro, Let's call her Annabella Annabella? Um she uh also new name? Sorry, su Fla soup flay very good splay on treyflay on Tray. Can you just go hello, I'm suflay on Trey and then say the thing about brading harring in Okay, Oh no, I'll do an actual line that she had said at the beach. Good, Hello, I'm su Fla on Trey. Can you put suntan lotion in between my tones? God? Shut

the funk up? And then her husband did it and we were all like, oh s flay on Trey, you are too much. Um oh, so this is when my dad's driving. Oh, Mark, can you please slow down when you go over the speed bumps? I I don't leave before I placed my seat belt on. This woman has also gone white water rafting, so it's like she also has like a thousand elms. That was an ailments Like it's like, okay, here's here's here's an example of something that buten. Okay, we're my Grandma's like on her deathbed.

She's dying, dying, dying, everybody. Everybody's in town. We're all waiting. We're all waiting in the in the waiting room. Me and my cousin, who are all fairly normal, are all sitting here just feeling, you know, a little bit sad but also kind of punchy and weird. My aunt, first of all, she she was like, I have to go to the bathroom, and I had to go also, So like I went to the bathroom, and then she was like, oh, it is so nice of you to come with me

into the bathroom. And I was like, I'm just I'm just going to the bath Then so she comes back, we're all sitting She opens up her she brought a cooler to the hospital, gets out a Costco sized thing of apple sauce, like slowly and dantily, like unscrews the top, gets out her spoon. No eats one spoon. No. No, was it like one of those tiny spoons that you used to feed a baby. No, but it was a to go plastic smallish spoon that's like you would throw away,

but she had it. She used that that and me and my cousins were like, oh, complete a weird And then she and then she like put it, put it away, and then she got out her zippy bag of apple slices, ate one apple slice, closed it and then put it away. She she single bite of apple eight a single she'll also bring up. Her full name is to play Apple

on trays, play on tre to. One thing that we hear at Frev Dog will always remember about eighteen was getting the privilege to reboot Bnacker and Ben Blacker's legendary podcast, The Thrilling Adventure Hour, renamed The Thrilling Adventure Our Treasury.

We've released three episodes so far, with many more on the way, featuring the triumphant return of classic segments such as Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars, Beyond Belief, and the cross time adventures of Colonel TikTok, as well as new tales, new writers, new guest stars, and a bold new sound. All Treasury episod zodes are recorded in studio with expansive

sound design and new musical themes and arrangements. You can expect one new episode from the Treasury every month in twenty nineteen, as well as a previously unreleased live recording from The Thrilling Adventure Our Vault and if you want more of The Thrilling Adventure Hour, you can access the entire back catalog, complete libraries of classic segments, and bonus content on Patreon at patreon dot com slash Thrilling Adventure Hour.

But in the meantime, please enjoy this holiday themed rendition of Beyond Belief featuring Paul if Tompkins, Paget Brewster, Rob Benedict, and Hal Lublin. It's time to send the little ones to Dreamland and set your radio style to spooky boat the doors, lock your windows, and steal yourself a mysterious suspense. In this evening's final feature, Beyond Belief, meet Frank and Sadie Doyle. The toast of the upper crust headline is on the society pages, and then yes they see ghosts.

Who cares what evil lurks in the hearts of men unless evils carrying the Martini trade. Darling joined the Doyles in tonight's stock episode If These Walls Could Talk. Our story begins in a penthouse apartment at the Faint Plaza Hotel, where Frank and Sadie Doyle are about to taste the unknown eggnog. Eggnog, here goes, Oh my, this tastes like the punchline of a joke in which a cow is walked into a bar. I care for neither the joke

nor the drink. As you suspected, the recipe was clearly incorrect. How much bourbon do you think would be sufficient to knog an egg? All of it? I imagine, if not more, I can still taste it. Take this, darling the most A stringent martini. I know how to make for emergencies. Only you headed ready, didn't you? Any time? And uncertain mixers and all my boy scout training kicks in. I do so love a man in uniform that did the trick? Shall we investigate the rest of this gift basket from

the vicars? No reason to punish the other gifts? What else have we got in here? Those small brown Man cookies they're red and white, walking sticks, chestnuts which are basically poisoned. Speaking of which freshen you drink? Look Frank of present? Shall I undress it only if you wish for me to be jealous of it? I do? Oh, this is truly quite something, Frank, exquisite, priceless. It's us, this photo of us from the Vickers Gala the night I drank Mr Vickers under the table. I remember that table.

It held its liquor far better than the host. That must be why I remember it so fondly. And look at this picture's handsome frame. On the back, he's written to the most winsome couple in Manhattan. Merry Christmas, Christmas? Is that still happening? Oh, Frank, we didn't get Mr Vick as anything, and he caught us. Well, let us think of something to get him. He's got everything he could ever want, save as stronger tolerance. How about you fix us another couple of rounds to think by, and

I'll hang this picture on that wall? So rugged, aren't I? Now? Where is that instrument used to hang things? A hammer? Yes? And that which is hammed a nail? Here you are, my rugged darling. All right, it's just like dispatching a small vampire. You line up the steak, in this case a nail. And who just screamed? You did? And who before that? I did? It was me your wall. These walls can talk as this one, just me, the west wall. You're my favorite wall, papered as you are with a tanned,

prickled texture. Thank you. That's my skin? Or was it? Is the skin still is? It's just I that was I suppose I kind of am. So what precisely are you and what exactly were you on this now? But I was a man, human, a human man. The players a man said it was Ostrich. Nope, ah me, definitely me. I remember because it really hurt to get flay alive. Never get flight alive. I always say, not if you're can avoid it. How please, Mr Doyle. You could handle

getting flayed any day of the week. You've been through so much ghosts, vampires. Hey, remember when all those genies came over vaguely? Oh you must remember you were right over there and you were all out of drinks. That seems both likely and unlikely. You found a bottle, but instead of Boobo did right there. I will not tolerate a flashback episode. I forbid it. We came right up to it, didn't we. Sorry. I know I shouldn't have said anything in the first place, but in my defense,

I was hammered. I will most frequently used to fans, and I suppose I must apologize for taking a tool to you. Sorry, old Chap. My name is was Is Walton, which is a coincidence, I admit wally the wall, like when guy's name Taylor can really thread a needle? You know what I'm saying? Not really? You mean to tell me you've been watching, listening, spying this whole time. Would you preferred I made my presence known? I think I

might have. I know I would have voyers by invitation only. Yeah, I meant to, but I guess I never found my moment. But now is as good a time as any, right, Not like you've got another oddity knocking on that door today? Right? Well? I require more drink, Frank, will you help me mix the martini by the east wall? Certainly? Don't think. I'm not sure. I like the non consensual presence of this sentient surface. I couldn't agree more love. What's next? A

garrulous floor? No, thank you. We must find a way to move him off. Are you guys talking about me? No? No, yeah you are. Are you talking about exercising me from this wall? Why would you ever think that? I know you? That's what you do? As it turns out, we've decided to exercise you from our wall. But where will I go? Come again? The spirits you exercise, do you know what happens to them? It depends on them, Walton, unless we're upset. We tend to send them where they think they should go,

based on their circumstances and perspective. So they get end up someplace terrible, like a swimming pool filled with wigs and mustard, only if that is their rather specific fears it is, and they believe that's what they deserve. I do then, yes, do you drink? You sound like you could use a drink hack. When I was a guy

with hands and never had friends like you. Now the Frank Doyle is asking me to dance, drink to drink, and all I can do is stand here like some kind of some kind of I'm sure there's a word for it. Now, don't get too down. It was a good run. You've been part of our adventures all along, Walton, we just didn't know it. Yeah, it's been fun, are you It's been real fun. It's been so much fun. Please don't cry. I'm sorry I've made it awkward now only now, just now, you've made it awkward. To be

awkward is to be aware. You're sure you don't want to drink. I don't have any kind of digestive track, but if you wouldn't mind not exercising me, I won't make a peep again. It'd be like I'm not even here as if I could forget. Perhaps said has the solution. You are the wall paper, not the wall itself. Yes, I'm more of a skin condition than anything else. Really share we peel you off the wall, then, and do what with me? Deliver you somewhere nice? Do you fancy

from Uda this time of year? They've got plenty of walls there on which to live out the rest of your bizarre consciousness. That's the thing. I'm not sure I want to be a wall anymore? Then what would you care to be? I'm basically leather. Instead of watching you, always watching you, I could be wrapped around you, Mrs Doyle, holding you. No, I do not like the sound of any of that, Nor do I mean neither neither watch

you said nor how you said. No. But you know who would love a one of a kind coach for Christmas? Mr Vickers, to whom we owe a gift wonderful? May we despitch two birds with you? Walter? Frankly, I don't know if I want some strange man to wear me. Vickers isn't strange. He merely traverses the globe and a boring old copper zeppelin filled with trunks and trunks of dull old money and everyday flammable gas. What's strange about that?

Luxuriously on the edge. He calls himself the Thrillionaire, which is either ridiculous or admirable. Honestly, I go back and forth. I don't know. Listen, you can be a coat or remain a wall, but you can't stay here. Fine, Mr Vickers, coat, it is here, we go. I'll just reach up and peel you at this corner. Walton, Oh my god, that's faithful, Oh dear, Maybe all in one go, like putting off a band head, but in a scenario in which it hurts only the band head. Just do it, Just do it.

Don't talk about it, just do it. No, very, just one? Well what we needed a little nubrication? What is that a giblet for your glue? Whoa? Who said I couldn't drink me? Wrong? I was wrong? I apologious. Walton is feeling quite nicely, now, wouldn't you say free? I would describe Walton as supple. This is ours her dream come true? What is this on your skin? Walton? Some kind of marking. He found my tattoo. Tattoo, Were you a sailor? No, I was a member of a secret society. I should

never have joined a secret society. I just knew i'd end up a wall they always do, you know, Frank, we've seen that tattoo before. I think i'd remember. Turn it upside down. Oh, this is from the Triangle Club. They tried to recruit me about ten years back, Frank, isn't it when the players is at an outside contractor. It gifted us the Ostrich wallpaper, and the wallpaper arrived after we concluded that the Triangle Club was nothing but a men's group for warlocks. Indeed, didn't we put a

stop to their entire chapter? You eradicated the Essaceles Cauldron? No, no, no, no, no, we helped them eradicate themselves. Oh you did. The club felt like a very wronged triangle. Mr Doyle determined to make it a right. Are you saying they've played you because of our actions? Walton? Oh no, I got flayed way before that for infidelity, and not even mine. You know Pythagorean warlock. Yeah, his wife is his infidelity us. Well, why would they ever save you for us. Oh, my

punishment was to be a punishment. I honestly, I'm supposed to drain your souls. I'm what's called? Oh man, I can never remember, but it's bad. It's a word that means a patch of cursed skin that drains out souls. Um, God, yeah, I don't remember. You guys know, No, Wally, have you been draining our souls? Please be honest, I would never know. I mean I was supposed to. I was gonna, but then I couldn't do it because I loved you guys

right away. We are touched Walton. But if we send you as a coat to Mr Vickers, are you going to drain his soul? If he's not as charming as you? Maybe I suppose we can't send him to Mr Vickers then can we? Frank? No, Vickers is more eccentric than charming. That wouldn't do. Shall we send you to that warlock who flayed you and then try to destroy us? Is he still kicking? O Pythagorean? Let me see what are you seeing exactly? I'm expanding my consciousness outward all um,

whatever I'm called can do this? Nah? Yeah, got him? He's alive, barely He and his wife and a nursing home in Queens. Would you enjoy to take his soul before it flips out of him? Oh? Boy, would I? And it would be nice to see angle again. Then we shall visit a nursing home. A nursing home in Queens. You do that for me? It's Christmas apparently, and you're like family. Family, We do not want to stay with us, which is just exactly who you deliver to a nursing

home in Queens. Then it seems like we've got this triangle club situation squared away. I'll roll you right up now, Walton, oh Frank with Walton off to Queen's were without a gift for the brillionaire? What do you get for the man who has everything? You have it, I believe I have. For the man who has everything, you get him the one thing he doesn't have, nothing, nothing. It's perfect us like your eyes, my love, my eyes. Have you seen

your nose? You want to talk about perfection? Look in a mirror, your nose, your ears, your lips, your lips, what about them? Put them right here? But darling, I'd get them all over your lips, yes you would, wouldn't do They're perfect Hey, guys, they can take it. Guys. You're on me. Guys, Hey guys, could you move me to the east side of the room. How he's kind of want to see what it's like over there? Oh God,

if I could. I don't want to interrupting, guys, And so Frank and Sadie find themselves walking tall in the face of a talking wall. Revenge is a dish best left unserved to those married mediums unless they find out about it, get it drunk, and send it back water Unfold. Joined the Doyles next time, when they once again walk beyond belief in a horrifying Kronuka episode titled The Lady

of the Latkas coded Deeple Diving, Deeple Diving Doom. This next clip comes from a new podcast that premiered appropriately the day after the mid term elections this year. It's called This Is What Democracy Pods Like, and it's hosted by comedians and progressive firebrands Billy Domino, Oscar Montoya, and

Kate Friedman. Each week, Billy, Oscar and Kate trade hot takes on the weekend politics, take the temperature of the resistance, and interview unforgettable guests like young Al Gore death obsessed Dan Rather, sexy Wyoming politician Ross Tennison, and the head of nonpracticing Lesbians for Ted Cruz, Shyanne Dikes. In the following clip, Billy and Kate reads selections from their post midterms congressional erotic fan fiction Enjoy. We've got that Democratic

House coming up in January. Uh, that'll be sworn in and Pelosi is likely going to take back that gavel. We'll see Marcia Fudge coming forward. Who knows. But we've been waiting for this for not even just two years since Trump was elected. We've been waiting for this for eight years now since and we've had some ideas in mind of what might happen when that house is taken back. Absolutely, ideas that excite us, ideas that make us whisper, ideas

that make a scream. But Kate and I have written up some stuff Oscar didn't because Oscar was busy last night. Do what what were you busy with? Oscar? He has no answer for that. He's just touching his coffee. So it's going to save him somehow. It's not Kate, do you want to read, uh, your little story? Show us what's in your brain? What you're hoping for we get politically out of this house. Thank you for the invitation, Billy. I'm really excited to have an outlet for my excitement

about the house and my own sexual energy. M The air was heavily perfumed by fresh glisten in sampler baskets. Abby was so excited she could barely take a bite as Nancy Pelosi kept talking to her on and on and on. No one told me Congress was going to be this fun, Abby said as she took an ill informed drag, shooting her straight to the moon. I'm with all that nance, but I'm gonna be all up in that probe, giving my best. Oh face o o O,

Adam Shift said, as a few people laughed. Not my best, sorry, guys, Adam said as he asked for the bill. Adam might have been her the woman, but this is and it's you're the woman telling you to shut the funk up, Nancy said, as all the ladies laughed together in a glorious way. Abby couldn't believe the night was all already over, or was it all of a sudden? It was February

and the house was in full swing. New and extremely strict gun background checks were in play, and community policing totally took a turn for the best and across the country was totally responsible behind the peaceful burnings of excess guns around the country. Maroon five and had even played at a recent gun burning event in Austin, and it

was dope as fuck. Everything was coming up Democrat. As they were about to break for lunch, Nancy Pelosi let everyone know that Trump was stepping down as president because Greg Pence got a message from God that it was the right thing to do. The White House was about to instill the House of Reps as one really big new president. Here here, everyone shouted, Abby, squiled, and delight. She couldn't believe that she was part of an even

bigger moment in history that happened in record time. Just as she was about to call her dad and tell him the good news, she felt another naked, unsucked foot fall upon hers. When she looked up, she was shocked at who was on the other end of the leg grazing hers. Oh my gosh, Oh yeah, that sounds like a walk around the block after that one, Thank you for letting me get some of the his thoughts and feelings.

I mean, everyone knows that the key to erotica is specifics and Chili's Alexandria Hampton in these are all things that that makes that make parts of my body shout. That's so nice. Thank you. It's so nice to have like a warm reception to something that, like you write in such a piece of you and it's so vulnerable and like you know your question like did I put too many time jumps in there? Is it making sense? Like? And it's just it just feels really nice. Guys, thank you.

We are not about king shaming. We are about kink celebration and matter the kink, no matter if it's dangerous to others. Uh. You know, you need to do what you need to do in order to express yourself in your body. Wow. Okay, well, thank you so much for sharing this work of art. Um Billy um Let's hear yours all. Admit. Mind doesn't have as a night time jumps. Mind takes place in sort of more in real time. But that's interesting in its own way. Maybe that's equally erotic.

After a grueling eight weeks of auditions and experimental work shopping where several congress people lost their lives due to trust falls, today everyone will learn the committee appointments. Quickly, the shouts start to rise above the din as excitement fills the room with sexy feelings. Mitch tepidly walked towards the corkboard. What committee will he be on? Energy and Commerce Yearbook? Everyone sees Mitch walking, clothes, his neck glistening

in the indoor breeze. The crowd parts and hush falls over a hush like that time Mr Bayner cried during the Earth They Assembly. No one wants to be near Mitch. When he finds out the news, Mitch scrolls the list with his sexy hot finger. Commerce, no veterans Affairs, no PEP squad and agriculture, not even that one. Mitch is sad. A tear starts to trickle down his cheek as Tedloo and Elijah Cummings make out by the junior lockers, get a room, shouts Jody Urns, who her headgear covered in

four rage stickers. Adam and Alisha do not get a room. They just keep sucking neck, their lips glistening in the indoor breeze. Match is about to give up and go home, thinking this new Congress is one he won't be a part of you'll just have to go home and kill himself like he always does. But just then he sees one tiny list at the very bottom of the corkboard. It has his name on it, but it's the only name. Oh my god, more, give us more. Billy was too short.

Holy crap. If you want more, go to your local library and write this there on a public computer. Is it a published work that? I don't know? What? Do you call WordPress? Is word press publishing or not? I don't know. I'm not really, I'm I'm fully steamed up. Really is it legally published? I don't know. Is this in the Library of Congress? Yes? I don't know what. I don't know what weight you want to give that? Guess what. Forever Dog has a baseball podcast and it's

about more than baseball, and it's really really good. It's called Three Swings, and on each episode, long suffering baseball fan Ria Butcher reinvents America's pastime with radically sensible thoughts on baseball, history, culture, gender, race, politics, and more. John Lingen over a Dead Spin hit the nail on the head when he described Three Swings like this for Butcher,

as for everyone else that cares about the game. Baseball is an escape, a beautifully pointless hobby that nevertheless connects us to our friends, family, city, and youth. But Three Swings is a baseball show for an anxious age, one where everything feels connected and ambiently doomed. As such, it has become a journey of a host's self reflection and self reinvention. The ragged optimism of that evolution is always visible. Well put, couldn't agree more. Please enjoy the following clip

from Three Swings. We've got a big trade, which is Daniel Murphy to the Cubs. Uh. Daniel Murphy's out oken homophobia began when he was with the Mets. Billy Bean, former MLB player and current inclusion ambassador, was visiting the Mets and spring training to share his experiences as a closeted professional athlete and to discuss strategies to the MLB to become more inclusive and accepting of gay athletes, executives and fans, um and just to put a pin in

this there. Billy Bean has since said that he retired from baseball because he did not feel he could come out and continue to play baseball, and he needed to come out. Um So I think that's an important thing to keep in mind when discussing Billy Bean. Um. I think it's always important to keep a timeline of these things, regardless of what it is UM in mind, which you

could also consider to be context. That he retired early from uh, not just the sport that he loved and something he was uh you know, uh blessed I guess to to be able to do um. He also had to retire from work QUI his job, essentially so that he could be his true self. And I don't think we think about that often. You know, we think about we look at you know, the Internet, and everybody's so pro l g B t Q plus I A, like, everybody's so pro everything, and everybody thinks everything's fine now.

But like, you gotta think about these things where yeah, he's all over the place and they made this position for him, but he that's because he had to retire so that he could be who he is. And that's a big deal. You know, that's kind of a big problem. And um, you know, I'm more concerned about that that people don't have to quit their jobs or be fired from their jobs than I am about you know, whether or not a team sells a rainbow flag shirt and

their pro shop. You know, it's one thing is making money and then the other thing is preventing a human being from doing a job. You know. So I think that both things are important, but one might be a little bit more important for me. Um so. In response to Billy Bean's visit, Murphy first called the idea of forward thinking, before proceeding to say that because of his

Christian beliefs, he disagreed with beans lifestyle. The full quote is this, I do disagree with the fact that Billy is a homosexual, something very specific about Christians using the word homosexual. But whatever. Anyway, that doesn't mean I can't still invest in him and get to know him. I don't think the fact that someone is a homosexual should

completely shut the door on investing in them. In a relational aspect, I would say, you can still accept them, but I do disagree with the lifestyle one Maybe as a Christian, Oh sorry, new sentence. Maybe as a Christian we haven't been articulate enough in describing what our actual stances on homosexuality. We love the people, we disagree with the lifestyle. That's the way I would describe it. For me, it's the same way that there are aspects of my

life that I'm trying to surrender to Christ. That's a g eight deal of many things, like my pride, which I think is such an interesting choice of words, and I'll get back to that. I just think that as a believer trying to articulate it in a way that says, just because I disagree with the lifestyle doesn't mean I'm not going to speak to Billy Bean every time he walks through the door. That's not love. That's not love

at all. Now, I have to admit that in when this happened, I had just started getting back into baseball in was the first World Series that I watched since probably two thousand six, um, because I really was out of sports for a long time, men's professional sports for a long time. And I found out about this stuff mostly via like TV clips and then maybe the internet,

but I don't really know. It was a combination. And I didn't read the whole quote, and I didn't hear the whole quote, and I'll be honest, I just kind of saw homophobic baseball player and went funk that guy. And that's on me. Number One. I have in the past,

like I don't know. Year of this year really tried to slow down and not just like I'm gonna say, retweet, but I I it's a metaphor for everything, which is everything has turned into such like click bait, where it's boiled down to this essential nature that is an attempt to get your attention and also inspire either rage, panic,

or happiness. And so I have tried really hard to if there's something that I see and it inspires any of those things in me, and it is on a website that is a real thing, I try to take a moment to read it and see if that's what they're actually saying, you know, because I've seen so many news headlines or tweet headlines that really do not line up with what the actual article is saying, and it's it's so uh disparaging and so frustrating and so toxic

for everything that, um, you really owe it to literally yourself to pay more full attention to the things that you want to comment on. You know, Like I both bristle and completely agree with the idea that there is outrage culture, because I think that for a lot of people, outrage has become the new PC culture, and like all of these things are like a toss away, just a way of diminishing someone saying, hey, stop treating us badly.

But at the same time, there is also people who just jump on board with a thing and act like it's the craziest, worst thing that's ever happened. Let's all burn everything down. And so there's got to be a middle ground here of going, wait a minute, what is this actually about? What is this person actually trying to say?

And so I'm actually grateful to the fact that this guy was traded somewhere that we're all going back and looking at this again because I think that there's a lot here, because I haven't even gotten to the fan

reaction to the fact that Daniel Murphy is playing in Chicago. Um, just to go back to his quote, I actually, um, I actually think that what he is trying to get at, while I disagree, because I don't think you can disagree with a human beings existence, because he is able to as a non LGBTQ person and as a his type of Christian person with his belief system, is able to see his lifestyle as a norm or an acceptable one, or following Christ or whatever or neutral he is in

the sort of neutral position to be able to say, you know, essentially, hate the sin, not the cinner, and it's a sort of evolved position from hate the sin not the center, to say I disagree with your lifestyle, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to engage with

you as a human being. And the reason I'm even saying this, and I hope that all of you who probably disagree with me right now understand that I am a thirty six year old queer person who has lived their life as a gender nonconforming UH person and also a butch lesbian and also all of the things that I've been in my life, I have not been accepted. I have been treated like shit simply for the way I exist on this planet. So please keep that in

mind when I say all this stuff. I am somebody that has I don't like Daniel Murphy as a player. I don't even like his I don't like his style of play, but I have to be very honest about the way this guy is talking that I actually think that someone speaking this way about that is someone that you could have a conversation with and say, I get what you're saying, but this is why I think it's wrong.

Can we have a conversation about this? Do you realize that as a human being you cannot separate my existence from my human nous And the fact that I am queer is not a lifestyle. It is in existence. It is not something that I put on because I feel

like it. Moving now from the baseball diamond to the farthest reaches of outer space, we arrive at Treks in the City, an episode by episode recap of Star Trek the Next Generation hosted by Alice Wetterland and Veronica Sorio that features the absolute best in feminist sci fi comedy, plus soundboard, sound effects, original songs, and amazing guests like Paula Tompkins, Amanda Seal's, John Lovett, Iron Mass in the

Third Joke and Booster, and many many more. For Star Trek die hards and novices alike, Treks in the City has an absolute treasure chest of a back catalog, So subscribe and get caught up now before Alison Veronica jump up into season four in nineteen and in the meantime, enjoy this clip of Alice, Veronica and guests Whitmer Thomas singing an improvised pop punk song about the Android data and his android offspring Lall from season three, episode sixteen,

The Offspring, I have something cute up there you go? What am I singing about? Saying goodbye to Law? Law was a really nice little robot. She felt a little too much. She liked her Doddy and she's liked his touch. She had a motion, she knew about paintings. She would spit a drink on her shirt. And one day she got too smart and her little hard was torn apart. So she had to be repaired. But no matter how fast Dada Daddy is Houn Mills gee how because they

couldn't improve her. Oh, Datta Daddy, Datta Daddy, couldn't get in dap gotta daddy dada dadda daddy deep dickens big. Oh my god, I wish you would just record an album talking about what we are going to record albums. So maybe wedn't have that song Beyond Beyond. I'll always do a little choruses if you need thanks, be there,

Thank you. The Unofficial Expert with Sydney Washington and Marie Fouston is a podcast that we have always listened to with absolute awe and how funny it is, how fast it is, and so When Sydney and Marie brought the Unofficial Expert to Forever Dog this year, we were ecstatic.

Each episode, Sydney and Marie invite on a guest who claims to be an expert in a very specific field flirting, porn, daddy issues, online dating, cookouts, stalking, sex toys, runaway brides, and they interview the guests to test their expertise, deciding by the end of the episode whether or not to crown them an unofficial expert. Please enjoy the following clip from the episode Sex Date Expert with guest Molly Austin.

So I showed to the date and well, first of all, wow, threesomes are a weird group of people to break into. I will say as because like, well, I just want to let you know, people who are openly looking for three sims are fucking weird. Like any threesome I've had, it just fucking happened. Any threesome you've had. How many threesomes have you had? Said number? I need a hard number, one to three? Four? Give me am I in the tea?

Where am I with? This bit is less than it's less than five, So four five, she's at at least five whatever this is about you, the saying about me, But let's talk about your didn't know you had five three times? Isn't that crazy that she's had six? I mean seven is lucky? Had three? Soomes is crazy? Dude, I can't believe you had that. Man. Let the listeners think whatever they want to. Y'all know, damn well, I haven't.

What are we doing with your boobs right now? I'm just Missa's because it was more hands on her boobs before. I feel like I'm at the guy. No, wait what I'm not touching myself like you're working for lumps. I don't. I don't check anyway, go ahead, Yes, he got a chap, I know, but I feel like they look smooth. You know that's true. Anyway, So you're you meet up with these people, So I meet up with these people, And did you have a preference you wanted? I mean, I

guess it was gonna be a girl and guy. Well, no, I was open. No, I was like open to discussing all options. Guy and guy. I'm like, that feels I don't know, something about two dicks feels very violent to me, like swords like swords right like and like you get to cut somewhere right. But I'm like also like not shut down to the idea. But I'm also not like Molly, you would take two dicks, That's what I mean. I feel like I'm not judging you, but I'm I don't think it would have to be like a very I

don't know. I just like I don't. I don't think I could handle to. Do you think you could handle to? I feel like you could handle two dicks as well. I feel like I've wiped what about me? You would have like dicks? You have one like getting snacks set up, and then you would bang one and then like he would rest and then you would eat, you know, a little little break. Molly, you got a new back, so you definitely could take two dicks. That's what I'm talking about.

I do have a new back. Not two big dicks, but like a like a medium sized dick, and then like a I'm not working around with two dicks for for for glow average dick. I mean, I've like people who have three sums don't have great dicks. I want to say, yeah, right, that's why they need to help as a threesome expert. I tell you know. Anyway, So I get there. I get there. He's there already, And I mean like like Clark Kent, like six three, real broad, real like tall, dark and handsome, just like a night

like a like a retired chipping Dale. He's like fucking buff and he's like hot. You are painting the photo here. I mean this man is just like his hands like fit across my entire back. Like he's huge. He's a huge at beautiful man who like, yeah, he's like a giant and I'm just like like your yeah. But if he's that big and that fine, I would assume that

means he either doesn't speak English or he's very dumb. Right, Yes, I mean no, I definitely because I once a day did a male model, so I was like perfect right at my alley. They don't like no words, I mean not seeing a picture of him. He's good looking, but he don't look dumb. No, he's actually not. He's actually very smart and smart. I can see the way he parted sucking hair, he has a hat, he has arts

his air and smooth, he's like slick. He's like very You should have led with the fact that he parts Clark. I didn't know that Superman was parent that Clark can had glasses, flies through the air, never loses his part. So what does the girl look like? So she's late and we are like, and I was like, which is a terrible move for her, because if I bringing my man and meet another bitch, Oh, I'm getting there early, you're pulling up together. No, no, no, I'm getting there early.

I'm but together. Right where was she that he got there first, meet me early. I'm gonna get there early. Talk to the way to listen, another bitch is coming in, and yeah, it's gonna be messy. So well she gets oh my god, toname is really? Why is it so violent for you? And it was like, I'm under the well, I'm told that it's her idea. The whole thing is her idea. That means he's about to break up with her and she's panicking, right right, that's what that is.

Why you just ruin the end of the story. So well, that's what hell that. But I'm no, I'm saying that's a fact. Like if you were like, yo, I'll do whatever you want, so you could say it would be a threesome. Well, yeah, this is why I don't This is why I don't care about how men feel I'm not a desperate hail Mary pass. To keep my man is to bring another chicken to the situation. I ever, I'd be like, if you want to go, go And also I'm never going to bring someone into my situation.

I'm going out. I'm going out. I'm going out for food, you know what I'm talking about, because i want to go home. I don't want these people in my home. I don't want them in my space. I don't want like, no, no, no, I don't want to never see these people again. I don't even want them to be from this coast and

they're not look at look at God. In addition to the thrilling Adventure Hour, we also had the privilege this year of working with Ben Blacker on another one of his podcasts, The Writer's Panel, which celebrated it's four hundred episode this year with an amazing live show at Dynasty

Typewriter in Los Angeles. The Writer's Panel has one of the most impressive back catalogs you will ever find, featuring in depth interviews with Vince Gilligan, Amy Sherman, Palladino, Jordan Peel and Keegan, Michael Key, Damon Lindeloft, and many more

television luminaries. The writer's panel is the definitive guide to our golden age of TV, and I hope you enjoy this highlight from the Live FO episode, which featured an incredible all of writers and show winners, including Caroline Drees, LaToya Morgan, Alexander Cunningham, Monica Breen, Christine Boylan, Chernold Edwards, Angela King, and Jennifer Hutchinson. When it seems, it seems to me that a lot of the request for free work come from a place of fear on the buyer's side.

It's we we need to feel secure in paying you to do this thing, So do all the free stuff first. Well, what's hard is when you go into pitch and I would love to hear from every everybody here who's like sold all this stuff, because I've sold certain things and something's going some things don't. But they want a This is such a Tony Robbins thing of like a need for a need for a need for like certainty and a need for adventure at the same time, and that's

what they want. They want certainty. They want to know you have all the secrets of the universe in your iPod or in your cards or in your head however your pitch. But they also want to be enticed, so they want you to tell them everything. But they don't want you to tell them everything because they want to they want to be seduced, and and that's important too.

So like the last I've been back and forth wearing on a couple of pitches the last couple of months and trying to find that level of I'm the kind of person who I will like, arrest you for eight hours and tell you every single detail of this whole world. And nobody wants that obviously, right um. But at the same time, the ten minute pitches, like I haven't even gotten into the part where the angels come down, just you know, just give me five more minutes, you know.

So I mean, the balance of what do you keep and what do what do you not keep? And walking into a room where if you're pitching on a book, you have to assume no one's read that book, even though the people you're bringing with you, the producers, will have read it and they know it and you know, maybe you know the author. Maybe that's going great podcast. They probably heard it, right, But they I mean, and to be fair, if they have to read a lot and they all have families, and it's you know, I

get that, but I don't get it. I want them to have read more, but I never expected you know, that's the thing. So, yeah, what's the balance for you guys of of like of like seduction and enticement versus listen, here is a chart of five to seven seasons, and here are the points we're gonna hit. And it's gonna spike on Twitter season four because of this. Just trust me, Like, how do we do that well in the details that you think are important versus the ones that are important

for telling that story? I mean, well, first of all, sometimes it doesn't help if they've listened to the podcast. I found that, like I had better pitches on Nightville when maybe they weren't as familiar with it because they have expectations if they listen to it, they think this is gonna be who you're following, this is going to be what the show is. And then if you don't meet those then you're not you're not selling to that place. Um, it's a hard balanced And this is something I consistently

struggle with. I am the person where I go in and and like it's never the right amount of detail. Like if I overdo it, my agents like, oh wow, you really apparently gave a lot of detail. And then if I underdo it, it's like, oh, they want you to come back, and it's so hard balance. And so I think the thing that I have found is because you're right, they want to know everything, but they don't want to know anything. What they really want to know

is do you know everything? And and if you can communicate that to them, then I think that's when you have a more sort of successful moment um. And so when it comes to details, I try to do a thing where like there are specific details that I highlight that are important to me that I feel like I can pitch really well because they're meaningful for me. And then they're like, oh she has details, there must be

more details. Um, It's not always successful, but I think that's the thing is like, do you have a point of view that's really strong? Can we can we invest in you even if we don't have it all in our heads? Monica, you were not in your I mean, I have no answer to this because I struggle with it all the time. And the one the most successful

pitch I had, which was midnight, Texas. I walk in and give them thirty minutes of a small town story and it was based on a book that no one had read, and I was They looked at me and so turn around Monica, and I turned around and there's a picture of Jamie Alexander's back with all the tattoos on it, you know, and they're like, make it that and you gotta deal and they walk out. I'm getting high fives from the producer. I'm like, what just happened.

I didn't picture though at all, Like it's a small town soap opera? What is what is this? And then before they picked up the show because I was like, they're never making the show, so I got the pilot. Man, it was delightful. I had a really lovely time. I was in New Mexico. It was really pretty and um, I was like, no one's ever doing the show. There's a talking cat, there's angels. I don't even looks crazy town.

But it was a small town soap with supernaturals. And I get called in It's like, can you make it a Demon of the Week because if you can, you gotta sale. And I'm like, what did I pitch? Why did I just tell me what you want. This is to make your own adventure. So like, I don't I have answers because it was successful, it worked, and the show as wack could do as it was got a

second season. So in a strange way, I'm just like, all right, let me just go into this like a little you know, rabbit hole and just figure out what's happening, because no, no, no one knows. Like that's what's amazing to me that no one this is NBC. This is NBC, right, and what what year is this? This is like two years ago. This is like right after we funked up on Constantina did a serialized Yeah. Yeah, And they were like, can't you just make it like grim? Can't you just

can't an exorcism of the week. I was like, put, all exorcisms are kind of gonna look the same if

we do that. But you nailed it, so I mean yeah, I mean it was just it was you worked very hard on your pitches, and you've worked very hard on creating a world in your mind that you understanding, you know how to break the story, you know what the emotional arcs are, and then you just get thrown these things make it this and you're like, all right, And I mean, you know, part of it for me, as I always think of this job a little bit like

a project runway challenge. Like it's like, go to the store and make a gown and like and I feel like that keeps me sane, because otherwise I will go crazy when they tell me to make a gown out of out of construction debris. But that's, you know, part of the front of the job. It's like, all right, well, let's make a gown. I guess from A two Z. We have finally arrived at the end of the Forever Dog Roster with Alexis gees Als. Innovative interview podcast is

All Good. On each episode of All Good, Alexis interviews a fellow comedian, entertainer, or influencer about their life and career, and she also interviews one of their parents or siblings, or best friends or colleagues to get the real story behind their public persona. The interviews are then cut together in a point counterpoint fashion that makes All Good really unlike any other interview podcast you've ever heard. In the following clip, our last clip, Alexis talks to comedian and

director Bo Burnham and his sister Sam Enjoy. I was always incredibly, incredibly competitive, and I still am competitive, and I have to unlearn that stuff, but I feel like a deeply, deeply competitive person, and I've only Yeah, so did you always see him kind of going into entertainment or what was that prediction on your end as to where he would end up career wise? Um, Honestly, I

just always knew he was going to be great. Like I still tell him to this day when he last in my face that like, if this doesn't work, he can just go be a brain surgeon. And I truly believe he could. Like I really think he's just like that start and great and everything. He's kind of just he's kind of just awesome and everything he does. Again,

it sounds that sounds like I'm getting weird. I really think that that's Yeah, that's that's the bess untrue and yeah, that's part of her her and my mother there's want to tell me that all the time is actually a burden that I'm I've been trying to shake since I was three years old, which is like, you guys have to stop telling me I'm the smartest, greatest boy that's ever lived from the time I'm too or then I try to seek that from the world and anything less

than that is obliteration to me. Um. So now I just not in smile when they tell me that. But it's very sweet. I know that. I know she actually does believe that, which is very sweet. Um, but it's very not true. Um. But once you started doing the plays, it was like, oh my god, you have to keep doing there. You just have to. I mean he was so good at acting and so creative. And then once you started performing um and doing the comedy stuff, just

everything that he writes just feels Yeah. I mean, right when you got started, it felt like, oh, of course, this is what you need to be doing. She also mentioned that you at one point got really into magic. Sure what sort of sparked that. Probably just being a loser and thinking, why not just complete the vision of myself with them, you know. I mean, I'm already down here so unappealing to women and my peers, I might as well start doing magic now. UM. I don't know.

I just liked it. It was probably performative. There's also something fun about it. I also like math and tricky puzzling things, and there's like magic sort of blend the world of like theater and performance and puzzles and again just repulsion to everyone around you. You know it Also, Yeah, I don't know you do you feel like you were repulsed or people were repulsed by you? I think it was no. And you know, I was somewhere where it's like,

you know, probably the coolest kid in class was doing magic. Um. But yeah, I felt I felt on cool, not on cool. Yeah. I mean a dork that words that words become something else. Um. I was just like a passionate little dork. Okay, So you have like your specific interests that you were very into. Yeah, just like feat or and magic. And I have friends where I look back, I'm like, men, you were cool like you you are cool at twelve. Um, it's not not about being cool like you were cool necessarily to

those around you. Um yeah I would. I would just always uh just had eccentric interesting. Yeah. I think there is something cool about being a young person and liking what you like and not being you know, concerned if that's necessarily like the cool thing. I think that gets cooler and cooler in hindsight as you get older. You're like, oh I was confident. Yes, yes, yeah, I think so. Um, yeah, you know, in hindsight, I wish hindsight did did did worked on magic it work. Bengali decks and and foam

rabbits are not really helping. Um, you know, you're not getting any better in the rear view. But you know, I had a lot of fun. And it's like, I guess I I sort of understand where you're coming from as well, because I am an only child and both of my parents just think I'm the bee's knees. They just love it. They think I'm great. And then so when I go into things, I'm like, so that was great, it was great. And it's like, don't I want everyone

to think that I'm in the world is not your parents? Yeah, brutal and no, but it really is. No. But I'm not even saying that, like, h that's realization for me, and like it's it's it's a realization for a lot of people in I think we're vaguely the same generation, like on either side of it, and like, yeah, we we we do need a lot of It's it's it's not necessarily that the love and the and the affirmation

is the issue. It's that the lack of the other, Like there's some value in having like a psychological thing to overcome to look at your parents and go I'll show you and like run out into the world to prove something wrong. Uh, and to not have anything to push back against and to feel like it's hard. It's not. It's not more difficult, but it has another type of problem. Um, and yeah, it's it's it's it's a strange thing to have the privilege that sounds like we did, of of

being supported. That concludes the best of Forever Dog. You can find all the podcasts mentioned in this episode at forever Dog podcasts dot com. You can also subscribe to them on Apple Podcasts, Stitchers, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app. And if you have a chance, please leave your favorite shows a rating and review and let them know you like what they're doing. It not only helps more people find out about our podcasts, it's also very appreciated by

our podcasters and our production team. Speaking of which, you can follow us forever Dog on Twitter and Instagram at forever Dog team for the latest news and updates. We have a lot of exciting news shows coming your way in so stay tuned for that as well as amazing new episodes by all of your favorites from this episode. So thank you very much for your support for listening, and we'll see you in