“Summer of Kunt” (w/ Sudi Green)

And I can, I can trace it back and located to a specific moment, and I think our guest was actually in the room when this happen. Oftentimes, Well, this was when we realized that, like, this is why we have this sensibility that we share. Is because we were watching one night we got we got a little stones like five years and we were watching we were watching the season finale of a season two finale of Grayson Anatomy, and we watched the part where as he says, um,

it was me. It is all bad. Why I didn't No one helped me. I thought I was a surgeon, but I can I thought it was a surgeon, but I'm not, so I quit. And then we realized we laughed at that because we like, we're just like speaking along with it, and we were. And then you said, the reason why we find the same thing is funny is because we we listened to that cadence do those things.

It's about the cadence. In fact, the funny thing that we've been saying over the past couple of days and you know what I'm gonna say is and this is a great segue. It's a phenomenal segue. Is in the promos for the SNL episode last week, you know what I'm gonna say Tina fe and Nicki minaje. Yes, Tina goes out here. Do you want to be ten? Or should I be? You'd be you'd be nicking Albina? Okay, okay, great. Hi, I'm Tina Fean. I'm hosting us all this week with

musical guest Nicki Minaj, Nicky Should I say it? Yes? Really? Yeah? I say it. It's gonna be let. You shouldn't have said that. Nicki Minaj is so good in these promos. She's an actress first and foremost an actress. Now we say Saturday Night Live and it's a phenomenal, phenomenal our phenomenal guest who we are proud of realizing her destiny each day truly, and I mean she's she's not gonna agreement, She's not gonna It's been a journey to get her back on. It's been a journey to get it back

because the bitches book. The book is. The bitch is booked and busy and can't be bothered the credits. I mean, let me tell you something. One of the like writers Dujore of Saturday Night Live. Okay, you've all She's also written for Maya and Marty. And I'm proud to say that we have a web series out and I will remind you of this till the day I die, called

Power Couple that is featuring Bowen Yang. And listen, there's many, many, many fucking things to come because our guests, as Chris Allen one said in a song, no one remembers, there have no boundary. Boundary. It bears repeating. He says it one more time, there are no boundaries. Well, let's introduce her, shall we. Everyone. It's Sudy green Ship, a two time guest Chris Allen. Remember Chris, No, I think the winner of Season nine? Oh No, I think he was the

winner of season. Well, this is funny that we say this because last night they crowned an American Idle winner. Sure, and then did we and then who is it? Do we care? Her name is Maddie Pope. Come on, Maddie Pope? Wait do you do? You know what the tea is? Though? So this is dating the number two guys dating in the runner up, which they revealed live on the air. It's like a Justin and Kelly called when you are like in um, like in a you're in a captor situation and yeah, like they were like in a in

the trenches together, you know what I mean? And it's kind of it's actually exactly like not kind of like, but it's two people on American idol ending up. Dating is exactly like um, when they liberated the Jews from the camps and then so many of those liberated Jews um moved to towns together and created new families. So well, because oh my god, you guys. I did the show this weekend called You're the Experts, a podcast hosted by

Chris Stephie guy um. But he always brings on like some academic, some scientist, person specialist whatever to come out and then like it's a panel three comedians that sort of play games to sort of talk about and riff off of their profession. And it's usually some like cool esoteric scientists that like it works with like brown dwarves and space and like that kind of stuff. But the doctor for this time that I was on was the

most success. Like she she is the scientists for match dot com, she is the eight Books, she's a p about love, she's the love anthropologists. Basically, she's a doctor. And she was in love Doctor like fifty cents and his song, and she was she was amazing. And what she said was that like people who go through these like very not traumatic experiences, but like us, just what they like I mean that is that is something that just sort of triggers some susceptibility to get it. I

get it. It's like it's like, um, why so many co stars get together? There you go, there you go. It's a way to hack love. If you so wish to do you hacked love? Well, do you think that she can help us? Because for the first time in a long time, three of us are all single, single together. Oh oh and you oh y'all, And let me announce and I was not the person who came up with us. I believe it was Matt. But it is the summer

of kunt. Can we reveal? We can reveal it is the summer of kunt with a K. That is the title of our group chat on the three of us yea, and there's many different Um. We're also in a in a group chat with a bunch of gay boys you know and love called twink corrors, like when you core a twink do you know? I thought it was called twink choir, which would honestly which cho They could be a beautiful choir. Um, But summers twinks when they get had sex toy, they get a cord Oh gorgeous like

an apple? Yeah? Like cop, did you ever have like one of those slicers in your kitchen that had like all the little segments just like push it over? And my mom eventually got rid of ours because she said, too hard to clean. You hard to clean to get in there and rub every surface. I just put it in the dishwasher. Is it dishrusher safe? I believe because bone is rich, very wealthy, but inswasher, like we can just run it every two minutes for one item. You

do have a dishwasher? Don't you may play in Brooklyn? Yeah? Wait, did you guys ever remember that song that you guys brought into pop Roulette one day about the dishwasher. You know, I'm gonta dishwasher? Oh my god? Was that I got a dishwasher? I'm going on a Washersha, That's not how it? How did it? Okay, you guys start in and you get the two of you wrote. We did write it together and it went like this. Then I got a dishwasher and it changed my world. Then I got a

dishwasher and it changed my world. Cool boy, Oh my god, I remember, and remember had a harmony because I had a really good hartment. I went up on the third drink. Oh boy, yeah, wow, oh my god? Waits a hit? Was the game? Got a dishwasher and it changed my world? Yeah? I got a dishwasher and changed myl was the game? Just that we had a dishwasher? Was truly a nothing song.

The two of you knew it was never gonna go and um you came in and you were like, I think Matt was like, I'm going to go first, and we're going to read this song. And I really viscerally is like imprinted. You really remembered it? Oh yeah, definitely did. I gotta say I brought in nothing but turd nuggets to Popularly because I was still getting my sea legs in terms of being a writer. But you were already the beginning for you. But I was just like, what,

how does this work? But I also think you were super in your head as always be like get out. You wrote a couple of really good things. Though I loved your Grinder song. Grinder was fun. He wrote like a fifties like you about being on Grinder. My favorite part about and I'm sorry, but the Grinder does remind me of this My favorite part about the sketch group that we were all together and which is called Papulett,

which you guys have talked about look it up. Yeah you know do or don't, um, but we did take But the best part about Popularlett would be we performed a lot of this space called pit and um, we would all be backstage because not all of us would always be singing at once, and um, sometimes you would just be hearing the performance going on and you would just hear somebody eat it just one hot And I did like a million times in Big and Beautiful, which is like big is and it I'm hand and then

like they like you hear the pieces laugh on station. I just remember there was one time that we take grinder.

It's like kids know, I know, because sometimes bombed so hard in that space that like I could hear people and then we would all be backstage and like look at each other and it would be so funny because everybody would just be like like this these pieces that these pieces that we would rehearse to death, like because we used tracks, it wasn't it wasn't like a band situation where like there was a mess up and like you can look at the band and like you can

jump back in. It was like no, if you funked up to the track, you were done that. We everybody did it. I mean everybody fully ate it um at one point. But also the fact that we were so overrehearsed at times or very well rehearsed at times, and it would be like Dave Mazzony like you know, just like his head blown up with power, like in the basement of Tish and being like you move on fart and he pops up on Come on, come broken doll.

Tess up, broken dolls, your parents buying new stuff at Christmas. Okay, I'm all gonna be little Elf seven. Hey, it's so wait. I will say this, though, I think that popular Lett was my personal creative peak. That's not true. It was one that's not true too, when studio is like, you know, look up at the videos are don't didn't the three of us on Summer of Con before it with Summer of Con like do a little exchange recently of like video links like within the last like a few months. Yeah,

remember this video and like the consensus so much. And you know, also the thing is that, well, we are incredibly young. He still me are very young, but also like it's weird to say that we were so young when those were coming out, Like I'm watching I remember, like, you know, entire weeks of my life being like rehearsals, preparing for the show, preparing for video shoots, you know,

putting money into this, and I'm like twenty two. Yeah, I will say, I'm really I have no paper regrets about pop. Did that because I knew City would hate it, But that really was like that was rigorous. I mean we we met twice a week for a long time we were coming out of I think like also an advantage that we had was we were coming out of n y U, where we were used to that rehearsal schedule. And I feel like a lot of times when people start comedy, they didn't necessarily go to school for like

the arts or whatever, so it's not that mentality. And in fact, pap Roulette wasn't really a lot of people that identified as comedians, Like there were some people that were like dabbling in both. I would say like half the cast hadn't even thought in themselves that way before the group, and now everybody is like so funny and doing great things. But it was like, oh no, this is like first and foremost an acting and performing group and we want to just be snatched. Yes, it was

that really was. It was kind of just like especially those first few remember that, like when we put the show up at the pit and we're like, yeah, I'll see what happens. And then people actually liked it and it was it was cool. I I liked it. I mean, just the fusion of sketch comedy and music so many times in the first couple of months, Yeah, I think

it was. I just remember really viscerally, like you guys had maybe met a couple of times, and Matt was like, come in and like do musical sketches and I can't sing and all this stuff, and then I think I wrote a song about like finding Mitt Romney sexy or something. Murray Hill was the first one, really good one that yeah, oh you wrote a really good song about murray Hill.

And it was our first like big production number. And it wasn't like you didn't come in with like a realized song because you had never written a song before, but um, it was so good. There were people in the group that had real musical talent, so it was this thing. And that's why I wanted you to come in so bad, because I knew that we needed like people to come in with really really really good communic ideas.

And this is even before you were in the group. Um, but I knew that there was something possibly to that fusion of like good sketch comedy material and people that could execute performance on a high level. I was like, there's gonna be something to that. And you know, we were committed to that ship for a long time four years, and probably two and a half of those years we

met twice a week. That's a that's a lot. And like, look like my dream is to like do a little like reunion show where we just love to do like a live band and then we just sing the songs and like maybe do do a new one or two. And I would love to do that at some point A great, great time, great time. Great. I also honestly, like I look back on a lot of those videos and I do. I feel very proud of them, even if some of them I will give. I'll tell you the one that I like that you wrote. It's so

fucking stupid, you guys. It's called name your Baby something weird, ridiculous. It's just like this, like have to be high. Surely, surely the moment that is a snapshot of time where I was a walking, breathing marijuana leaf and like I just had no money and like was wearing a nineties

romper every single other day. My parents are probably gonna listen to this my deepest darker secrets, So it's all right, But um, you know that was truly we would get Oh my god, you I remember one time you went over This is maybe so inside baseball, but whatever, it's the three of us Um, I remember one time you went to my apartment that I think you're going to village and we got so stoned and watched Serena William's documentary and then we were like, okay, we have paper

lett the Serena Williams Netflix documentary. What was about being this hand? Serena? And um, Matt goes, okay, we should write something, so we like go I think we went into separate rooms or whatever, and you wrote this monologue which was like, I am the Serena Williams a bar tending yes, And it was so funny. It was so funny Serena Williams of Mixology. So I guess what we're saying is that you need drugs to be creative. That was I also at the same the same day, I

wrote Freedom Tower. Oh my god, Yeah, that was sedome to Dick of America, Penis in the Sky, Freedom Tower, Penis of the Gods. I'm wagine it between my cars, all so many feet up, baby, sleeping me up, fucking me talk Esa Freedom Tower, did of America, Penison the Sky. There we go for Talk of America Penis in Lost and I'm so glad our parents paid for Tishe it's worth every penny. It's worth every god damn the penny.

And I was just saying the other day actually that I had been, like, I think college up until when I got SNL, such a stoner. And the minute I started working at SNL, I like I could not smoke wheed. It made me so paranoid. I mean I would never, like, you know, go to work high, but like you know, you get home at like you know, ten eleven or whatever, and I was just like smoke and watch TV. And the minute I did, I just think everybody hates me and what am I doing tomorrow? And I'm not funny

And I would just spin spence. Since been spin my wheels. And now I feel like it's kind of set a thing where like it's not as casual for me anymore. Like I truly need to be in vacation mode and have nothing on my plate. You need to be out and off week on a dark week, on a dark week, and not even have like a phone call that could happen. That so clear. I mean I'm the same way now, truly, like I don't do it. I have not smoked in about a full month, and I don't like that's just

because like the last month has been crazy. I think smoking during the day too. It's just like a different thing. You can't do it anymore. I can't do anymore. No, you're right, it wasn't. It was a thing for your early twenties. It was. It's not a thing anymore. It has changed. And once again we're bringing back the fact that we are young. But at the time we were younger, we were younger crazy anything. We actually also just talked about this with Franchise Ramsey because she was on the

podcast UM recently, great app very very good. Hm. You honey, you gotta respect hm. You always respect him to get some lamare out of it there the eyes and ears, trust they are. But she was also saying that she used to be a real fucking stoner and now you know not. But yeah, it does change over time. So young kids, go ahead and get your toke on. So we're so young now. I wanted to go to go around the table and ask what does summer of kunt

mean to you? This summer? What are you what are you hoping to get out of the summer of kunt? I will go first. Um Study texted me today and said she she always what I love that study is she always frames thinks as a question. Okay, so she said she yes, she and she goes, should we get snatched the summer? And I was like, yeah, definitely we should. Um it's not like, you know, let's get snatched this summer. Should Um, yes we should. And my plan is to

um transform my body. That's my plan. And talk about how your body has transformed up until this point, which is I feel like you kind of have experienced something where like your constant diet of chicken, fingers and cheese has a little bit. You still look very good, still look very good. That's the thing that was like, Matt has all basically nothing to complain about. But I understand

wanting to aspire to something better. Here's what I think. Um, you know we're talking about being single again so young. You know, with being single again, you know you want to impress, you want to be the best version of yourself, and you know I would like to do that. That's all. And you know it's interesting like lately and this has been happening more lately. But and then of course we'll

continue to go around the circle. So I'll make this very quick, but I I I compare myself to to other people a lot, like on Instagram, and I'm like, oh, they have a much better body than me. Yeah, it's definitely a sickness and I know I need to get out of that. But really I would just like to look better for my for myself, and I also I also I'm not stupid, like I know that, like in the grand scheme of things, like I don't have too much to complain about. I'm lucky to have like the

tabolism I have. We should all accept our bodies as they are. And radical self love is the ultimately fuck you the patriarchy um, but also a healthier lifestyle for you. I love and you know, to see you, you know, just even wearing a soft short, you know, with the promise of maybe going on a jog. I've actually gone on two jogs months. This is what This is what you and I have to do. We should go in on like a cute pair of outdoor voices shorts top

for Matt, and I think that will be his starter pack. Yeah, you definitely need a cute but you need like the ship that will make you say, like Anthony, you need to like it needs to be the ship where you're like, oh, you know what this is. I gotta put on my outdoor Voices shorts and my Lulu Leah top and I'm going to go for a make it a lifestyle moment. I relieve your honey. But here's the thing, Like I feel like I am. I'm very on the go as

a person. I am a very physical person. When when you don't when I close the door, I'm dancing when I'm in my room, I'm dancing. When you say you're a physical person, you mean your horny all the time. Yeah, it's definitely true. Um like what I am. But okay, I know I said, but but listen, when I close the door, I'm dancing when I'm in my room, dancing. I'm always moving. I love to pace around, you see me. I love to pace around. I love to walk. I

walk sometimes, like when I can take the subway. I like being on the What I need to do is change my diet. You are right, it is bad, okay, But here's here's what I want us to do in this exercise as well. I want the other members of the circle to offer one suggestion of what they want the person to get out of Summer of kunts Okay, so now that we're talking about me, you guys go

and then you guys. So for you, Matt, I want you to just expand your scope, your scope, your cultural scope just a little bit because we because you and I had to be on the view because no, no, no, no, no no, no, beyond the view exactly. Um, just because those six women all have a different perspective doesn't mean that you're getting all the news exactly. Thank you for saying there's six of them, because everyone forgets Paula Faris

sometimes as long I never forget Paula Fis. Matt and I did um this assignment for this podcast, this other podcast where we had to watch this documentary on Netflix about K pop and I loved it and Matt I could tell what was interested. But I think I want Matt to see those as opportunities to widen his cultural a scope and maybe read and listen to, you know, did different music and that kind of thing. I want

Matt's cultural palette to increase, expand. I famously like what I like, but I hear that for you, this is my wish. I want you to write. I really want to write more. I want you to write something specific every day. That's probably a good one. And when you write, I won't want you right to be you. Thank you, No, I really agree that's the most important. It's important to be you. I agree with you in a real way. I think that you're so this is like kind of

becoming a little self helping with I love it. But I think that you are so funny and creative. But I feel like when it comes to pen to paper that you are not assigned. He needs an assignment. I am the same way though I'm very I'm very disciplined at work and very like ship like you know, but then when I'm writing on my own, it's a completely different ballgame. And I, um, you know, watch garbage. And I used to write for fun more when I was in college and after college for popular I would write

for fun all the time. And now you know what I think happened. And then when I have a show that I want to put up, put up. I always impressed myself with what I can get done. But do I miss I miss writing stuff. You were both always so disciplined and that was that was inspiring, honestly, And this is this is maybe now a little inside baseball, And then we'll move on to we'll go around the table,

go to study. We'll continue the baseball, but baseball the podcast and doing like all this kind of stuff around the podcast and you know, writing the recaps and stuff like that that takes a lot, takes a lot of her time. And then it's like a lot of things to manage and like, you know, all these things, and all of a sudden, you're like, Wow, when's when's the last time I wrote something fun for for for me?

I feel okay, now can I tell you something? You can always tell me something about and my best friend? Oh my god, thank you. Okay, this is a sponsor that I truly love because it has impacted my life in a really, really tangible way. Are you talking about Quip. I'm talking about Quip because she talks about Quip. I talk about her all the no. I love my Quip toothbrush so much. I used to be pretty touch and go with my toothbrushing habits. I'm gonna admit it's gross, disgusting,

It's just truly vile. But now Quip has sort of changed the whole brushing game for me because it feels so fun and so easy and so simple and it's because most of us are brushing our teeth all wrong, not for long enough, and forget to change our brush on time. And most brands focus on selling flashy gimmicks rather than better brushing, But not Quip. So what makes Quips so different? Oh? I think I know. Quip go

off all right For starters. Quip is an electric toothbrush that's a fraction of the cost of bulk gear brushes while still packing just the right amount of vibrations to help clean those teeth. That's right. Quips built in timer helps you clean for the dentist recommended two minutes with guiding pulses that remind you when to switch side. Next, Quips subscription plans or for your health, not just convenience.

They deliver new EQUIP brush heads on a dentist recommended schedule every three months for just five dollars, including free shipping worldwide, no matter if you're in America or East Asia. Quip also comes with the amount that sections right to your mirror and unsticks to use as a cover for hygienic travel wherever you take your teeth. And also, you, guys,

everyone loves Quip. They were on Oprah's Oh list. They were named one of Time's Best Inventions, and it's the first subscription electric toothbrush accepted by the American Dental Association, the first. Plus they're backed by network of over twenty thousand dentists and hygienists and hundreds of thousands of happy brushers who use Quip every day like me. Uh huh. And we have a little bit of an offer for

our last culture recess little baby listeners. Quip starts at just twenty five dollars and if you go to get quip dot com forward slash ding dong right now, you'll get your first refill pack free with a Quip electric toothbrush. That's your first refill pack free at get quip dot com forward slash ding Dong. That's spelled g E t q u i p dot com forward slash ding dong d I n g O. Thank you, Get quip suit. He's turn for summer of count. What are you hoping

to get out of that? I'm well, First of all, I feel like I should say that my breakup is very real and very raw, and that the other day, um I cried in whole foods just looking at foods that I used to eaten by with my lover. It is truly was weeping in whole foods because I saw like a fond du kit and I was just like he used to eat cheese off my nipples. No. Um, So that is the caveat which is that I'm raw

figuring it out every day. Um. But what I want for summer of cunt I keep thinking that I would like to make love with or two a thirty seven to forty two year old man. And I don't even know if I really want to. I don't know what that is. I don't know, you know, south of the border what that means. I don't know what above the border that means. I don't know what kind of belly situation I'm talking about. I don't know if I'm gonna have to be on top on my side, you know

what I mean? What what are the mechanics of that? I don't know when all that ship kicks in either. I feel that what I want is a man with no roommates to worship my body. That's what That's what I really mean when I say I want fourty year old man, which is like no roommates. I want you to have like liquor, like I want you to have a bar cart. Yes, I want like different brown liquids, you know what I mean, Fasten me a drink and then and then be like, just you know, I just

have that. Have to be wearing a bathrobe in the morning. Oh absolutely, put the T shirt on immediately when it's done, and have him say to you the morning after, I gotta go, but stay as long as you want. I just came. Yep, I just did. That's those are the best. That's the best thing you can parents gonna listen to this episode. They listen to you guys, and they listen to you guys on their road trip to Miami. Oh my god, I'm gonna have to warn them about this. Whatever.

Who cares? This is my truth. I don't want. I was cutting strawberries today and I wept. I wept. I wept for what I've lost. It is really hard, very hard hard. Anyway, whatever breakups are hard, this is a big breakthrough that I've discovered. I don't know if people have talked about this before, but breakups really don't. I think this is the first time people are really getting I should write a book. You should write a book about it. I should be the love anthropologist because I

went through one breakup. Okay, what are you going to do for summer? Okay, okay, well tear me apart. No, I'm not going to tell you apart. I'm not going to tell you apart um. What I wish for you is that I hope that it's very similar to what you said to me. But I want. I think that what you really want and something that you crave is to sort of make a name for yourself again as a performer, and I want you to do something fun

on stage. I want because what people I think, like you know, in terms of what they might know about you now, is that Sudi is very much a boss at SNL and as a writing supervisor. And you know you might have seen, you know, the feature on the Kanye Quiet Place sketches she did, and that has many images of Sudi being a boss director like on set

and etcetera, etcetera. But Sudi is also a phenomenal performer, and it like, you know, before SML happened, you were very much like performing a lot and on big stage

as y'all and really killing. And so what I and I know we talked sometimes about how you know, you're grateful for what you're doing and everything, but you also like miss that and I saw I want you to have that opportunity, and I think you can give it to yourself and book and also know that we are working as well and trying to create our own projects. I'm creating our project the Air that we get to

do our project soon. There's some good things coming between the two of you with some good people hopefully involved um My studio. I think for you is um for you to find other other um avenues of joy and of relaxation, getting deep and gorgeous. I really love this. Yes, find other avenues of join relaxation that go beyond and listen. This is so necessary specifically for you to travel, but I think I think you can find the things that

make you, that bring you joy, that makes you happy here. Yes, okay, I'm so happy that you said that, because you do. You travel a lot, and I think you should rediscover New York. Yes, yes, I wanted to do that because you know, there's places that I've never been, places I've

never gone. Also, you know, not to be um a classist, but there's also I feel like a difference between having a little money that you can spend on the place in the restaurant, and it is kind of annoyingly like a thing in New York where it's like there are certain things that are just closing. You can go and you can see the Yeah you know name I think. But I think I'm very open for a Staycasian, I'm

I'm leaving my day job soon. All the time in the world, I don't think they know, not the listeners know. I want you to let your graphic design firms quitting his day yet, because this is hum there's for almost five years, and so this is this is a big one. It's the right move. I claud him. I'm very proud of you. Alread thought Summer of come was just about us getting horny, but really it's about his getting deep and connecting his sisters. I think this is a big

summer for us. I really do. And also I hope this conversation is entertaining to literally anyone because really it is really giving me life. Okay, that's the first time that's been said on this podcast, giving me life. I like it. Okay, bo now you go, Okay, um my

summer of khunt Um. I am looking forward to some and I'm already feel that I feel some sort of sexual loosening and I mean that what I mean by that it was just like dusting off the cobwebs, like figuring out, oh, this is what a successful date looks like. Oh like this is Oh I am good at flirting, like I am good at these things. Um, so that's fun. I want to existing that as long as it seems like in the past it's only ever sort of come at me in little spurts. I want I want that

to be something. Um. Obviously, leaving the job is a big deal. Having more time to myself to write. I mean that's kind of the like the the main goal out of all this to just have stuff. But um yeah, that's it. Yeah, just just to just to be more in touch with yes, myself. I mean that sounds so broad.

And this is my dream, thank you, is that you are free every day every day, and when you are free, you are you because I think that you needs to just let go and have fun, honey, because sometimes I you can you miss the forest for the trees, and sometimes the call comes from inside the house because you're your inter saboteur, and I want you to be fancy free and say I'm Bowe and I have a lot going for me. I'm cute, I'm fun I'm funny, I'm smart, I got no day job, and just be like living

that life. I just have this image of you very Cary Bradshaw, you know, Carrie Bradger, like the musical, not Sex in the City of the Musical, but Carrie Bratchaw on the musical trademark. Nobody can write this now because we're going to write it. And you are still like masculine man, but you are wearing a pink layered chip on skirt and you're just kind of walking down the street and you're really working the skirt and you're just like in cobble Hill and people are just like clocking

you and smiling. And that's like my image of your summer Closer at the end when um, when when Natalie Portman is walking down the Times Square and everyone's turning around and she's in that like white T shirt that that I love that movie. Yeah, oh my god. I saw Closer when it came out, which I think I was pretty young. Okay, well once again we're young. Um. That is the theme of the EPP and I remember

watching that movie with my dad. Nalie Poorman like up her crotch and like tells Clive, oh, and her pussy taste like sweet cream, and I just feel like I don't even know what that means. Later on, there's this scene where Clive Owen is confronting Julia Roberts about her affair with Drew Law and he's like, what his come taste?

Like you watch that with your dad. I feel like my parents and I had like this very this like dynamic were like something would come up on the screen and we didn't want to watch next to each other, and then it would just be like this like kind of silence and like people were like kind of side eyeing people. And I feel like my my dad or like my mom would eventually just got you know, like

like I'm gonna put your hands up. But then also I remember one time my sister and I were watching The L Word, which was like a sexual awakening for me. We were watching The L Word. I really I really used to just feel things watching just like sat down. I'm just kind of watched and it's like, okay, I

shouldn't know. When I when I was first getting into True Blood, I was home because I got my wisdom teeth out, and I was just like watching so much True Blood and every time my dad would walk in the room to check on me, it would be like a scene of like exclusively vampire sex. And there was one part where that was like it was the scene was only about Jason Stackhouse's ass, and I'm just watching

and he's like, are you watching porn? I was like, no, Like every time you come in and it is porn, like for sure, but like it's it's really dramatically potent when you're not here. Um, I have to say what I want from Bowen, I agree with I think you need to give yourself a fucking break. Oh my god,

I've been so tightly wound for the last Yeah. Just like oftentimes, like oftentimes I think like you're not thinking about the good stuff, you know what I mean, Like there's so much good stuff happening, and there's so much fun to be had, and I sometimes will think like I wish that like Bowen wasn't fixated on like the things that are like, um, not of a situation and just have fun, Like we have such a like a

fun summer coming up. I just want like you to embrace like you know the good stuff that's that's happening, and I think that I want that to bleed into all aspects of your life. Like obviously I think that the boys are in for it. So this summer, Honey, when Bowen Yang hits the club, I think that all are you need to be surfacing him immediately, bitch. I think that everyone should get on the knees. I think that everyone should flap the mouth. Let this character, this character,

who am you should do Paris is Burning? This is a character that you're gonna right now because I do like to also assign Matt characters. You should do Paris is Burning? Ball mc giving giving financial advice. Oh you bank and ask her what you can do to know all the insurance rate. Matt was doing a character this weekend during during downtime at fult Freestival. I have to do it, and I think it's worth doing. Fine Matt

one on this run. It's like a stupid track queen character whose catchphrase was there is nothing wrong with trans there is nothing wrong with tran but so but the cadence. What the vocal affect was, there is nothing wrong with tran. It was this was the pitch is here. Just let me tell you something. There is nothing wrong with wild Okay, but this I'm so glad we did. This feels like a real therapeutic Honestly, I hope so many comments felt a conversation with three best friends because I love that.

I love it when people will like, um, come to work or something or whatever and they're like, you guys just seem like friends, and it's like, yeah, bitch, we always been every fucking day together. There was a time when that was true. And who isn't who isn't friends? Who isn't friends with their coworkers? I don't know. I guess a lot of people I do. Do you feel very tight with people at work? Yes? Yeah, oh yeah,

like more so this year. I feel like, well, fran Glespie might need to have her She's show, I know, but I want to have a run as a g She is truly the Actually, on Monday, I had an audition and she walked in to the audition. We were auditioning for the same part, and it was just so funny and we weren't even really excited to see each other because I spend every fucking waking moment with her.

We write a lot together, and like when you're producing a sketch together, especially if you have a video sketch and another sketch. And then she's just like she's my whole world. The bitch buys me juice. She just text me. She'll just text me juice press and I'll go yes, and she knows what to get me. And I saw her and we literally weren't excited to see each other, and then we kind of started chatting and then she had to go in, and then I was like, i'll

see you tonight. We literally had a dinner that night. It's just so funny when when you see somebody every day and they're just becomes like an unspoken language and also like a shorthand of like telling people to shut up or like we can't we well, we communicate so much like I'll just say a friend, okay, I'm not going to push it, which is like, oh I like that joke. Oh yeah, well it didn't work. Okay, I'm

not gonna push it. We don't have to have a five minute conversation about you know what I mean, Like Okay, that's it. And and literally like I catch myself just saying the friend and she does the same thing to me. No, just that, just that, and you need that, you need that. We have known that from the very beginning though, because when when Sudie and I were in Hammercats, that's something that the director who made me director said to me.

He was like, it's really important that the people who will make decisions creatively together are just able to be super honest and say, I don't think this is it. It has to be let's move on to do something else. And that you're just like, you can't be precious with ideas like that. And so the fact that there's someone at work that you can work closely with that it's like, well,

you just can't tiptoe. And it's not about tearing somebody down at because also the minute you kind of go in on somebody for like who they are, what they've written, even if you think it's stupid, like that dynamic is ruined. It can be a judgment thing. It's also not about you. It's not about you, and it's just about like, okay, once I feel like and this goes for like everybody.

Once you've been in comedy for a while, you know when something feels right, feels funny, you know when something feels like it's not there yet, and so it's just all about like d and you don't even know what you're doing, and then you just get to that feeling that it's like okay, I mean maybe, and it's not always brilliant, but it's like, okay, well I think we can turn the way that we are. It's like if it makes us laugh, that's how we know it's good.

And even like this weekend during Vulture Freest, like you and I had to shoot out like a bunch of segments like games where we would play with these celebrities, like what if we played clingon or clingy And then like like I pitched that and then that was like no,

And then I was mad for like a millisecond. I was like, well come on, and then I was like, yeah, I know he's right like that, there's always another you have to get to, but you have to get to that place of honesty and for the other person to accept that this is all this is. This is not about something personal. It's about just coming up with something funny, because I mean, you're both there because you had that relationship to begin with exactly, you know what I mean,

And truthfully. I mean that's like when anything that's ever been successful, like with this podcast or any of our creative endeavorsity like with Night Sober or whatever. Um, it's because it's made us both laugh that you wanted to do it. And I genuinely hold will always say if you're having fun doing it, everyone that watches it will

have fun. And also, if you want to do comedy and you want to be successful at it, you have to sleep your way to the If you are a woman in comedy, and I will say this, you know, two kids have sex with you're a woman in comedy. The thing about comedy is that it's a male Dominican industry, So there's a lot of things and places and people to do, even if they're not funny, you know, just do it to prove that you're cool. Yeah, exactly exactly, and to get better at sex, because guess what, you

might you might not be good the first time. That having sex and being funny are separate, because let's be honest, a lot of people that are funny never have sex. But actually the more you buck and come, the funnier

you become. And it has been scientifically proven that like comedy, is income and like you as if you get the calm, then you become And also you might be thinking that like what I'm saying is like crazy and untrue and like obviously ridiculous because you're thinking, well, SUITI, what if a woman is in powering comedy And the thing is that that doesn't happen exactly and if they are, then eat that pussy will but you will know of her

ever see a woman? No, never ever? And you know what they say, um come is a great source of protein. And also comedy and you know what they say, there are only two genders. Yes, of course only two absolutely to maybe just one which is men, which is men. Yeah, well in comedy there's only one gender, right, there are only two genders outside of that, but in comedy there's only one gender. May we legally need to say we're kidding,

We're kidding, were kidding, We're kidding. Now, that's on the record. Everything the HPJ given the thumbs up. HPJ is a witness, and he actually has a notary here that is writing down that we are kidding and that we are being dumb stupid bitches, and we're all going to sign it. Okay, Sutie. We've been asking all of our guests recently this, um, and especially because you went to this very sort of apocryphal No that's not the right word it, but this

very consequential showing of cats. Oh my god, watch, oh my god. Yeah, so you went, you went to go see Cats with our friends Patty and Mitra. Right, um, so tell us about your experience with the musical Cats. Well, I mean, what else is there to say? Have you been asking everybody about cats? You would be shocked how many times the musical Cats has come up on this podcast. It's so stupid that many times. How many times come up? But let me just say when Patty, when Patty talked

about Cat, she said that we went to lunch. We didn't just go to lunch. We went to a cabab Persian grill. Okay, we had some nice jab. He had a beautiful hair, you know, Rice, We got ahshresh day, you know all these things. And she is trying to hide that she had a passion Patty. Patty too before fit Your revision is history. This is like talking about revolution without saying America had c I a coup in Iran. Okay, we need the whole context. Patty June La Patty comes

back to the show. She can explain how she can explain why she does not like pession. Why do Also another thing that we must talk about four cats is why there is no passion cat. Yeah, that's actually so. There is in in in Cat, in the cat, in ben affleck Argo, in Cat. There is fun cat who is white cat. And I am thinking maybe this is passion cat. But then and everyone you know in cat, the white cat is the dance Captain Kent and a persimp. You cannot dance like this one cat. So I said

that this cat did not put out any child. This cat did not put out any nuts, not even no fruit. So I said, this cat is not Persian cat. Well, that is all that's crazy because we we've been like to believe there's so much to say about it. But that was your big problem with it? No, I mean, okay, it was honestly the best day of my goddamn life. Um, did you like it? Yes? Okay. So my family does not like musicals. They didn't. They never really cared about them,

and they had no idea. I mean, I come from a family that like everything is kind of I was the youngest, and my dad is you know, funny, and my sister and they would just basically make fun of everything I did. And um, like all of a sudden, when I was like really into Barber Strizing at like seven years old, it was like, where did this come from? What is this? Like I saw a funny girl at a friend's house and I was just like, this is the most amazing movie. You guys all need to watch it.

And my mom works at a library and they would get like donations and stuff, and I think that she found this like VHS copy of Cats, and so I had this VHS and Cats also is like, you know, for my dad and my sister, like that was like a musical. Everybody made fun of like it it is stupid. But I was like every time I was sick, I was watching this VHS copy of Cats, and I like it was like came from nowhere, you know what I mean? So you get the show, you understand it? Um, yeah,

I do. I think that it is really Um, I don't know. I think it's like early nineties like British kitch. I think it's like very British and charming in that way. I think that people love Cats, and it is when you go and see Cats. Everybody in this show is so amazingly talented and everyone is doing Cats like that's the only thing you can think of. Is like the training, the fucking pirouettes, the flexibility, the range, the choreography, everybody's

on stage the entire time, the makeup, the bodies. That outfit is not forgetting. And everybody's putting all of those resources and putting it into Cats. And that's so stupid and funny and up to the objective of all of that is just cats. It's art. It's truly art and commerce. It is just like And also Cats is good because I think that, um, you know, you can go and see it and pretty much get it and not really

speak the language. And there was a lot of foreign tourist groups and I was sitting next to a couple that did not speak English. I don't know where they were from. They were Asian and they um didn't speak well. I didn't hear them speaking English. And the husband was asleep for a lot of it. And then the woman nunched him when Memories was playing and they both hummed along to Memories and I was like, this is international Cats. The Grizabella good. Yeah, she really was. She really was.

And you know what you should you should talk, you should have and Drazin back on the podcast because she has like like seminal cats experience herself. I need to hear about that. And also my favorite part of Cats is um there is a part where the cats get sleepy and a little sexy and they go to sleep on the stage and they kind of roll around on each other and I was like, are the cats sexy? Yeah? I think they are. Rum tum tugger. Isn't he like a tug There's sexy. I'ld have like a like a sexy,

spoony cuddle. Sudi famously once told me a friend of studies I think had like a crush on me, and Sudi was trying to and I said to Suy, I just can't picture having sex with him, and Sudi said, well, Matt, everyone has sex, So I love it when you quote me back to me, I love it. Well, Matt, everyone has sex, and they do. Everyone has sex, And if you want to make it in comedy, I feel like what I said before, no, because I feel like what

I said before was kind of sexiest. I'm not very progressive, and I want to get a caveat on what I said earlier, which is that if you are a man again, there are only two genders, and I will not go back on that. If you are a man, you can also sleep your way to the topic. I think that that is actually feminism, absolutely, and I think that's like America,

that's actually really brave. We have a friend, and I will not say who it is, but this friend one time, like I said, like, we were talking about how another mutual friend of ours had allegedly stept with the director and like got apart, and I was like, did you do that? And they were like, absolutely, that's what you do. And I was like, no, I don't know. I don't know if that's what you do. I mean, we're also old, and like it was not a thing. I mean, I

think that dumb. You know, if you want to do that, go ahead and do it. But I don't think that that's how it works. No, it's not. But it's summer of cunts. It's summer of kunt. And what if summer of kunt means that we book I don't think I probably won't book this summer. Love that I love that I love looking at I love looking out on this summer and just saying, you know what, the summer I'm not going to book. I didn't book. I signed on the dotted line and I can't book. Wow, okay wow,

And look at him and he's feeling exclusive. Honey. Wait. I want to completely change the subject because I watched something before this, which is I watched Kelly Clarkson's Billboard Music Awards perform. Wow, thank you for bringing this up. Sang a medley of other people's songs, kind of being like I can sing all of your music. But did you notice that she had like a lot of like sweaty costume changes. Yes, she had a lot of costume changes. She had like they were kept cutting to the audience

a lot. Well, mostly because you want to see, like Taylor Swift here Kelly Clarkson, like, you know, sing what you made me do and like lip sync to it herself. I don't know her whole life as a performance, but like then they were cutting away because it would be like, oh, now she has a hat on and glasses because it's

Bruno Mars. Now there's there's there's feathers, And it just reminded me of like you know, like when you're seeing somebody do like a JFL character and there's like a warm pots while they're like putting on a full flight suit, where it's like you can just put on aviator glasses and we'll get that you're a pilot, you know what I mean. Well, Kelly's costume transitions were quite seamless at the JFL callback I went to recently that wasn't well, how is Kelly Clarkson's JF It was really good. She

her impressions were weak, but her ragional characters. That if you can't do impressions, don't do them. That's what I always say to Kelly Clarkson. If you can't do impressions, have a take. Let me get a character. And a lot of people on sn can't do impressions, but they have takes. No, No, I bravely am going to say it. A lot of people that are famouslyssion on SML can do every voice and person in the land. You're right, suit. He's on record for saying that even the celebrities come on,

oh yeah, no, every host is killed. I don't like this. I don't like this. Wait wait okay, so what about what else? About Kelly. Was that what you were going to say this? And also I agree that she has gotten a new stylist. Oh, there's a new stylist because they have found out how to dress her. There was a ten year period between my two thousand seven seventeen were since she has had the baby, people have not done her right styling Lise. And I think it's fashion people.

I mean, I don't want to throw out generalizations, but I do think it's fashion people. And they see Mom and all of a sudden, their brains get scrambled and they see Mom that you know, it's in a size too, and it's like and then what the funk? That's what it is. And this is this is something I would really like to say, and I almost would do, and I don't think so honey about it, but I have a prepared topic, so I'm not going to But I will say this, the industry has done Kelly dirty for

a long time and taking advantage of her. And what's kept her in the game as long as she is is her talent, because she will She's the one who every nine months or so she'll have like a viral singing moment and then one will be like, oh my god, Kelly Clarkson is amazing. Now. I think what happened is America has sort of rediscovered her in like a renaissance because she got out of the American contract and Meaning of Life is so amazing the album, and she loves

Meaning of Life. Yeah, oh my god. Oh wait. Can I just really quick say one time I saw Hoda in Bertie Rock and I was really starstruck because I loved my best friend and I am my best friend Janan. We always say that we're holding in Kathy Lee, although in our dynamic I'm Kathy Lee, but I really do identify as a Hoda. Well, you know, compared to Jennanna. I kind of amath because she's like a mental health practitioner.

She's yeah, she's definitely the Hoda. But I saw Hoda and I've never seen Hoda in the building before, and I kind of got like starstruck. And she walked past me and she's on the phone and I hear just say, I don't think it's a big deal, and I was like, how does chill? Hoda doesn't think it's a big deal. Whenever she's talking about she doesn't think it's a big deal. She's so chill, chill. I think about she must be chill because she fucking drinks every day on that show.

I can't believe how much they drink. Well, you know, I think it's a beautiful art of like being a boss bitch but also just being I don't know. I hate to say likable because I think likability is like a ruse, But I mean she's likable. Everyone who's quote unquote likable is not actually likable. That's a performance. I

don't think being likable matters. I really don't like Blair st Clair on her you know, final episode when they were doing the drag con um uh panels, she was like, I think the really important thing is to come off as likable. And I think that the minute you're doing a performance to cater to people, it's a trap. I think that people see through it. I think as long as you're being yourself and being vulnerable, people are interested.

And I also think that likability is like a trap, like especially for women to be like accommodating and sweet and like, I don't find that interesting, you know, Like I don't find like, I here's the thing somebody that people always say is likable Kristen Bell, who I do like. I don't like Kristen Bell because she's crying about a sloth on Allen or she's doing a cute Whirlpool commercial with Dax. You like her because she's talented, because she's got great on The Good Place and that's a good

show and she's good on it. We had this discussion. Actually I forget which episode, but we were talking specifically about Taylor Swift. Uh. We were talking about whether we preferred the Taylor Swift Disney princess or the Taylor Swift reputation. UM Like I'm like, like, yes, I actually um not an easy person as opposed to the filter. Yeah, and

I it's it's it's a weird. It's a hard one to answer because I think she's now as of recently, like in the new social climate, I think she's pretty problematic. But I do prefer someone who's real. But also you have to think about and this is like something I think now, like in the era of times up, this is like definitely something that matters, and you can't separate

what people do from their art. But you know, outside of that topic, you kind of have to ask yourself, like sn l A lot of people like, um, you know, like my parents, friends and stuff will ask me is that person nice? Are they nice? And like, first of all, even if they weren't, I can't say everything, you know what I mean? And also I don't need people to be nice, people to be assholes, but I don't need like the performance of like, hey, how are you blah

blah blah blah blah. You know what I mean, Like, I mean, you just want something to be on the show and be like, you know, easy to work with, and almost everybody is. And it's like, I don't know that. I never think that. I never really like see somebody that I really like, you know, I never. I don't care if Nicole Kidman is nice, but I'm sure she is sometimes and I'm sure sometimes she's not being What does that mean? How does that prove out to you?

There's no like agreed upon like action. I think that some people. I think that like maybe the more you care about celebrity and the more that you care about if that like who that person's real personality is sure, But everyone's curious because I think the media now is so sensitive that like we know almost everything, So why don't why shouldn't we know everything? You know what I mean? Like there is so much access and so much coverage,

so it's like, well, we know this much. Why not find out the truth that, like anybody who is successful and powerful can't be nice all the time because the world isn't nice and sometimes you have to blow us up. Stops stop. Can't be drinking pickle juice, can be drinking pickle juice. I truly was like on set um Nicki Minaj did that. I did not co write a song? Yes, she did. I did not. I wrote because it would say it would say lyrics by and did you write

lyrics to that song? This revisionist history answer the question did you write lyrics to that song? Yes? I did? Did Nicki Minaj also write lyrics that are on that side? So the technically yeah, which is whatever if the E God willing, you will be nominated together and inshalla it's nominated, and you and Nikki stand up on that stage together, okay, and she's we don't play with these April fools. And Nikki would definitely go to the Creative Arts m She

goes every year, whether she's nominated or not. I think it's important Creative Arts because she really wants to recognize, you know, the best web series of the year and the best like digital content that was paired with the show versus the digital content that's just purely digital content, right, you know what I mean, not like you know, exclusive to you know, you guys know the difference and the Emmies. Oh wait, no, yes, no, I'm talking specifically about digital

content and what those categories are. Okay, Yeah, she definitely goes in, you know why because she really wants to meet Tom Calichio And every time she goes to the Creative Arts Emmies, you know, it's always like a thing with her people and his people, and she never gets to meet him, and so she goes the next year's just like I really want to meet Tom Calikio. There's

a lot oh yeah. Um. But so Nicki Minaj when she was like kind of early in her career, she put out this YouTube video that three of us are obsessed with ya. She talks about bossed up and she talks basically just she's very eloquently explains how like they're different stands between men and in and when when men are Yeah, she does pre Donald Trump, when men are bosses it's a good thing. And when women are bosses

their bitches. And I was watching Nicki like slay on set and I was just like thinking, oh my god, how many times have I watched that boss up video? And like also thought to myself, like, you bossed up, you bossed up? And if I had accepted the pickle juice right now, spill a little t She's slate on set. Oh, she's slide. It was crazy. She shows up, drops her black chinchilla coat, hands it to an assistant, goes, this is my mark sits they play the playback sl slight

every time, I mean every time. She's a superstar star. We were watching um she knows. She's been kind of absent for a couple of years after pink Print. Now she's back. But I was over at Dave's and we were watching Chunley and Barbie Thing's the videos. She is a superstar, and it makes you realize that all these other ones, you know, there's there are stars, and there's a talented artists, and then there are superstars. Nicki Minajh is a superstar. She's a superstar. And I have thoughts

on this later. I love that, I love I love a tease of a thought. Um, let me finish my thought about Kelly. Yes, I don't like that people got rid of her, and the only reason they got rid of her because she was the biggest pop star in the world since You've Been Gone era. She shot, she closed the v M A s and all that they got rid of her because she wanted to God forbid, make her own choices about her third album I December, and Clive Davis like tried to ruin her. And I

don't want anyone to ever forget that. I do not like Clive Clive Davis at all. He killed Whitney, Okay, I would say, you know, it's one of the reasons she was unhealthy with him. Okay, But anyway, but but I don't like and her death and the details of it,

I don't. I don't. I don't like him because he of what he did to her, And then I think she had to throw up a red flag and she had to put make all those shitty songs by the way with Dr Luke, who she said I don't want to work with, and they forced her to work with him anyway she knew because she had a bad Kelly has now come out and said she had a bad quote unquote just bad relationship with him while they recorded Since You've Been Gone and Behind These has Allies, those

were her two biggest songs, Like she didn't get a songwriting credit and like he pushed what happened was, you know what happened was those songs were huge hits, but she did not like the experience of working with him. She said, he's quote not a nice guy, not a good dude. Um. And she said after the third album was was not going great and she was like, Okay, you guys win, Um, I'll make another like straight up pop album. I just have one thing. I don't want

to work with Dr Luke. They said, okay, on the schedule Dr Luke. My life What Stuck Without You was produced by Dr Luke, and she said, I told you I don't want to work with him, and they got the song and it was written by Dr Luke, and so you know, because it was written by Dr Luke, it was a lot of sexy lyrics that didn't weren't her brand, and so she wrote rewrote a lot of the song. That song was a number one hit. It kind of like made her like a pop star again.

There for a while, but she said, don't put my name on the on the uh songwriting credits because I refused to have my name next to his. I'm embarrassed that I even worked with him and I and she just she says, now she probably missed out on like millions of dollars from that song because she said, I don't want my name next to fuck Dr Luke. And also fuck Ryan Tedder for doing her dirty too. Ryan Tedder did her very dirty because Ryan Tedder he is a I'm sorry not to throw shade, but Jack anton

off in that all that ship sounds the same. The Ryan Tedder shut ship. Halo what right he does? Halo already gone? And like they snuck up Ryan there. It's really really I'm like, no, it's mad about your embrace And now you saying, umm, already gone? Oh, how does it already gonna go? What you know? Right? Of course it's one of my favorite songs of hers. I can't

believe I can't just spit it out. Um. But anyway, so she had like another bad experience on that album and her being quote unquote difficult because they were making her douche it. She said she didn't want to do ability again. And also she gained a little bit of weight, because God forbid some women do that, Um, how dare they? And they get smaller. You never groll a woman. If she starts out, then that at the end she must disappear. There's nothing wrong with grow there and then and then

you know, she became a mother and forget it. Like it was like, we'll put out one single for me say it was painful. It hurt me to see Kelly in that first week of the Voice auditions in that bedazzled football jersey. I think it looks cute. No, I think I got to say to you and start off the shoulder bedazzled football jersey. I like Kelly to give me a dull level glance she is, Well, that was part of that. You know, she was a sneeze. She was a sneeze away from doing a cold shoulder top

all right. Well, Also, if you noticed this about the meaning of life, should not be wearing at Taylor Loft, honey, if you notice this about the meaning of life? Also is there letting her have her hair bigger and like like she should have while they straightened the ship out of her hair on all the album, Like what doesn't kill you yea, which, by the way, thank God for that. But they put her terrific bang this brown hair that

didn't work her. She should be blonde. I love it when like somebody with a voice, truly, like the set piece is just their look, their costume and they don't move and they sit there and they just play Ibara Barbara share Elton John couldn't move on that piano and so then he would do all these outrageous things with this outfits because that was part of this show. Kelly is amazing for two reasons, her incredible talent and her amazing personality and and she right, and she's in this

moment now where she gets too on the voice. They just booked her again for next season Honey with Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Hudson Kelly and then but Kelly and Kelly and Jennifer being on the same season as Good Kill Me. Wait, okay, you know what I also watched was Christina and Demi. I gotta say it is Demi Levado. The Billboard Music Awards are truly her night. She is the queen of the Billboard Music Awards. She was not at the Gray Music Year and Demi Levado is the queen of the

Billboard Music. You see her face when Taylor won and she didn't know the cameramen were shady. They cut to Demi and Demi was stone faced because Demi does not like tell us what because I'm sure Taylor her life in somewhere. Did you guys watch the Demi Levado YouTube documentary together? Simply complicated, so good. It was so like I thought about that, Yeah, me too, I stand for Demi was always Demi. It was nervous to talk to

you today. Why because the last time I sat down and talked to someone this long, I was on cocaine. First three minutes of the documentary And my favorite thing is that in the documentary and everybody it's on YouTube and it's called like can I Be Me or something, which I also have to talk about. Okay. Demi in the YouTube documentary is super super fascinating because she talks all about like her addiction issues and she's like super

candid about it. Her eating disorder. She still battles with that. Yeah, like she really really goes in and the first hour of the documentary they talk about her whole journey that you know them covering up the abuse and all this stuff and it's super super real and Row. The second half of the documentary is more about her like life today, and it is just a series of photo shoots and like planned music video shoots, and it will and it corresponds with each album, so like the song will be

like only Forever, which is like a bop. That whole album is really good, Only Forever, and she'll be like, I guess um, but they won't like talk about that song and it'll just be in an interview with her and she'll be like, I guess I'm still kind of looking for that person that I'll be with forever. Cut cut to her in a nightgown all of a sudden, in like a bedroom, like with a four poster bed, like looking at the camera and it's like she's also so fucking she's so hot. She's so hot. Okay, wait,

and then this part is like a creamy surface. Yeah, her skin is like her face is beats. Her face is so beat. The best part is when she is singing only Forever, and she's singing that big note where just she goes and then she goes down, She goes down, and she just says she like takes her headphones off and she's like how is That's like amazing and he's like freaking out or whatever, the producer, and then she goes, I just want to make sure that vibrato was consistent.

And then they see on the computer like her sound waves and it's just like perfectly space and it's like, you fucking bitch knew your vibrato was consistent. I love that. I always wanted to say that. I wish I were in a position in my life where I could just be like I just want to for me, like and hanging like this, Like whenever I write music of the show, it's like, um, I think it's kind of like how does it work? How does it work to write a song of the show? Do you have to sing it

to the talent? And then like, well, you know, I think, well, I mean I've only ever really written songs with um cast members, and bad Cast is just so like musically talented, and it's like, oh yeah, she is Cecily and eighty of really strong music backgrounds. I mean like even Melissa can sing so well. Chris Red like used to be a rapper, Like, um, yeah, it's kind of just and then we also have a musical director and kind of

all in that way just like all comes together. So most actors, even if they say like oh, I'm not a singer, like they can sing well, they have some sense of I love I love when I really can't sing and then like a very limited range that is super high and like hard to hold on. Wait, can you watch the screen. We're just gonna make sure my Robarto is consistent. Olivera the wave it looks good. Consistent. Wow, and you were worried that your vibrato wasn't going to

be consistent. Brata vibrato. She's not a woman. Vibrato is a man. She's a man. Okay, so um wait what were like just there was there was something we were talking. Oh, Christina Aguilera, we can before we move on to voice memo, you bitch her. Two songs that she's released are both flops. What I like accelerates, No, it's bad. You know what I about to say for Summer of Kunt, The Summer of Kunt I want to be Christina Aguilera and I want to be new Lips Forwards and I'm going to

get and I'm gonna do know, I make up. So it's all about my lips. And I'm just gonna lips. You already got them, can't you see? My god, can't you see? I have no like dip in my upper lip because it's so full. But they told me what do you want to get it filled with? And I said candy. Oh my god, I was gonna say candy. I was gonna say like skittles. Today today I had a mango and I was like, oh my god, fruit is what candy is based on. Oh my god, this

tastes like a mango. I honestly have that. It's actually a rule of culture number sixty six. Fruit is what candy is based on. I do have that thought regularly. I'll eat the most delicious tanderin. I'm like, oh, this is as good as candy. We'll also half the time that I crepe gummy bears. I realized, I'm like creaning fruit. Should the title of this be simply complicated? I think summer of simply complicated or um consistent vibrato, but about

there are only two genders. Um, okay, listen. It's at this time where we have to move on to a segment that we like to call voice mem oh you bitch, and today are voice memo is coming to us from a friend named Christie Cello. Christie and she is excited to call in and she has some she's got a great voice, and you guys are all going to hear it, and you have heard it if you listen to her episode. And I'm excited because she's got some tips for us

and she's excited about us, but she got tips. Okay, okay, let's listen. Hey, Matt, Hey Bowen. This is Christie Cello. First off, I just need to congratulate you on all of your success as of late. I have social media, I'm connected. I know what's happening. And Vulture Fast looked incredible. It looks so incredible, and I'm so happy for you guys. I saw photographs of many important celebrities in attendance. I

saw a photo of Donny Osmond. You know, I just saw the stars of Nickelodeon's Drake and Josh and I think I actually saw the Michelin man with his family, which is really sweet. Like I love when stars bring their families out of hiding, when they you know, let them out of the closet and the cages that they're held inside. But I'm just thrilled for you both, and I can't think of two performers, to thespians, to artistic souls more deserving of success. But I'm gonna be real

with you. With success comes a lot of pressure, Okay, a lot of pressure, a lot of ego, right, and a lot of fame. Fame, it's what's going to come. Fame is knock. Did you hear that knock? That's fame knocking on your door. I give you, guys, approximately three days to two weeks, and you're gonna be superstars. And as somebody who has lived it, because as you know, I am incredibly famous, my advice to you both is to absolutely let the fame change you. Let it change

you entirely. What do I mean by that? I mean the old person you know, the mat and the bowen that you are. Now when you become famous, those people die, you hold a funeral for them, You mourn them for about a day, and then you never think of them again because now you're famous and you only talk to people who can help you emotionally financially. If somebody can

offer you something, they know it exist in your world. Okay, So let that theme change you and if you have any questions you can call you know what, as I was gonna say, you could call me, but you know I'm very famous, so I might I might be too busy for you. Actually, what what was that? Well? Is that someone someone famous is Okay? Well, guys, they have to go because somebody famous is here to see me. Um, but congratulations, and I'm looking forward to your fame. Okay

to lose I'm coming. Oh my god, famous famous, Well, thank you, Christie. That was famous celebrity Christie Chellow and I have some tea spill. Christie and I crushed a white Castle commercial audition and they told us we could release the dates. I don't understand what happened. Are you going to say we crushed a white Castle like just rolled in? No, no, famous, don't even white Castle. But I was thrilled to be the face of it for

a moment. Well, now you can never be because you said I famously don't like like now I'm holding out for that McDonald's money. Oh yeah, you'll get that McDonald's money. And really, if McDonald knew how much I've supported them over the years, they would be asking me. It would barely make it back. Oh you know McDonald's by my

house just got renovated. Yeah, but McDonald's, Yeah, no, it's like new and improved and gorgeous, the one that you always used to go to, which was like a true nineties mc nineties McDonald's chaos everything on Graham Avenue, Baby Grand Avenue where I live. Um, so we should let fame change us. We should, we said, well, and it has already. I love that. I love that for you, and I wonder for you guys because we I feel like our celebrity adjacent. Yeah, not adjacent, that's almost like

too close. I would say that all three of us have talked to somebody insanely rich and famous. Is that anything to brag about? We don't know. But when you go home, does anybody in the grocery store that maybe was a soccer mom or hockey mom say famous, own famous, famous famous. It hasn't happened yet, not from a soccer mom. Wow.

I feel bad for you, guys, but I do I do want to spill a little bit of tea about Yes, Hillary Duff gave us hugs, different, Sutton Foster loved us, and Julianna Marghalie told me I could be Matt Boehmer's brother, bo Bo Burnham and that that's huge. That's a huge deal, man, huge compliment that you look like Matt bomerum Bo bo Burnham recognized me and from the Tyra Banks and he was not the only one one of the girls. Oh my god, you had a viral vid. We haven't even

talked about the viral, did? I mean? You know whatever it happened. Aisha from the Bold Type also immediately people know what the viral man. I mean, you guys know about Bowen's lip sync to Tyra Banks is famous. Meltdown, different model, you seem thinner and what happened? Richer, tell them what you mean and that this weekend was in an all sort of came full circle entire finally tweeted back. She said, I mean dot dot dot genius and the cycle,

the cycle is complete. You're done now. I feel like I have a chief sentience and I don't really know what that means, but I do throw it out a lot. You've achieved knowledge. When I am like Evan rachel Wood in West World and I'm like, there's so much beauty

in this morning. Okay, yes, and can I spoiler alert this episode which is spoiler alert, which is the Showgun episode which I watched Evan Rachel Wood and James Marston and James Marston like they have this whole scene where he says to her, I'm going to botch the line, but it really filled me with something where he says I'm going to see the world with you or whatever, like basically saying like I know that I'm a robot

and I'm going to see this truth with you. And I was just like, I just want a man to say to me that they're going to see the world with me, like for everything it's good and it's bad and it's hard truths and whatever, like I'm gonna walk and step with you. And I was like watching them make love and it's like you don't really see her body, but you see his butt at the end, and I was just yes, you see his full butt. Yes, yes, I've not seen that. This is spoiler alert? Have you

do you not watch? I love Celebrity Men's but I know I know. So it was so gorgeous and I was kind of feeling like those notebook feels where just something just like hits you deep in you and you're just like that man, you know what I mean. And then she takes a moment I know it, into a room where there is a dead, rotting cow carcass and she says, this can't be you. I know this is you.

And then men come in and take him and she they made love and he said that whole speech to her and everything, and then these guys like take him and like are going to reset his brain or something, and she knew that was true. She planned it, and I was like, this is good TV. I'm sorry if I spoil I definitely spoiled. We spoiler alert rule of culture number ninety two. If you say spoiler alert, that's all. That's all you need to do. It's time to move on to I don't think so honey, Well not yet.

This is alright, so and tell them what I don't think so honey? Is I don't think so honey. Is our segment in which we take each one minute to rail against something in culture and repeat the phrase I don't think so honey. So m I have something? Do you have something? I do? Okay? So then this is the first who would like to go first? Then um, I can go first, as can a custom. Great, this is okay, great, that's not true. You always say that I always go first. That's not true. Okay, all right,

well anyway, I will crunch the numbers later. Real tension is the actual tension. But anyway, this is Matt rodgerss with Matt Rogers and bowen you and that's alphabetic goal. Yeah, but okay, no, we're not getting into this. Um. This is Matt Rodgers as I don't think so, honey, and his time starts now. I don't think so, honey. The people on the street who want you to like sign their petitions or give money to a cause, not because

they're doing that. When I say I'm so sorry I have to go and then they say something snarky or bitchy, I don't think so, honey. That listen to me right now. I am not the unusual thing for needing to go

somewhere while I'm walking down the street. You are for standing there trying to get me to stop and sign your ship, and you are really pushing it, honey when you say, like, okay, when I am trying to go somewhere, and let me tell you what you don't want me to do, which I will do next time someone does this to me, turn around and say what, because I will bitch if you say, okay, fine, I'm going to turn around and say what was weird about what I said?

I polite you to politely told you I needed somewhere to go. You should get a fucking job. Okay. I am not weird for needing to go somewhere. You're weird for standing there with nothing to do in a clipboard in your goddamn hands. I don't think so. And also, like when they give you shade and you give them shade back and then they're shady. It's just like, look, uh, I am walking somewhere with purpose. This is New York City and I am going somewhere. You're like, hey, can

I stop you for a second. I say, no, I actually have to go somewhere, which I'm actually in the process of doing, which you can see and you know, being on the streets of New York, this is what I'm in. You didn't even owe them that respond no, And I said, I'm so sorry, I have to get somewhere, and they do, Why are you doing that? Now? You have made it unpleasant? Like and guess what, I there was no social contract that said, like I had to

stop and listen to what you had to say. I know what you have to say, and I don't have time for it. I think eye contact and you have headphones on, and then you avoid it all together. And let me clarify, it's not the people that are doing that that I I don't think so, honey. It's the people that do that and then give fresh attitude and I wish don't be fresh. It's actually real coaching number seven, don't be fresh? Don't be fresh? Day. Did your mom used to tell you that when you were a little

don't be fresh? My mom said that all the time, word for word and perfect English. Okay, so this is bowen yangs. I don't think so, honey. Ready, your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Getty Images, who do you think you are trying to sell a picture of me for five dollars? Dollars in some cases? Look, have you heard of miss Mindy Tucker? Motherfucker? She is one of the best out there. And guess what she does hug gig fulfe most of the time. Mama, we'd

pay her every now and then. Bitch, Getty Images, I don't know who the funk you are? Your camera people having to voice tag or whatever the funk it is they say when they talk into their cameras and say names, looking like a fucking lunatic, bitch, Get your ship together, get over yourself, stop, get your water marks are off. I can hack it, and I can get those watermarks off myself. And fifteen as long as I know some of my way around photoshop, but most people don't and

don't have this prohibitive thing on your site. Five five dollars more like five hundred reasons to fucking hate Getty Images, bitch. I don't think so, honey, Getty images. I have a great, great love for getting images. Now that we've been in them, I'd like to keep being in them. But I um do know we love Getty images, but that is no. But we love after every I don't think so, honey. You just went no love, no, but we love. OK, we're gonna do this. We're gonna do this, but we

gonna wait. Hold on someone's face timing us? Who's face timing? He definitely made a mistake immediately, it was a FaceTime. I know him alright. So this is Sudi Green. This is Sudy Green's I don't think it's so honey, and her time starts now. I don't think so honey. People saying that we can't have Nicki Minaj now that there's Cardi B. Listen, it is being talked about, and I absolutely disagree. We have two female rappers in the game right now, and the fact that that is like revolutionary

and like mind bawling boggling for some people is a bullshit. Okay, just because you had a pastrami sandwich for the last seven years, which is Nicki Mina, and all of a sudden you got tuna salad which is Cardi B, doesn't mean that you're only eating tuna salad out because guess what, how many male sandwiches rappers are out there, so many different We're not saying that we can't have me, gooes

and common, you know what I'm saying. Also, Kanye West, who as we know, is very wise and present, on Twitter, said that he wanted to see a tour with Nicki Minaj and Cardi B. And I agree. I think that they are powerful. I think they should release a song together. I think their music is different, and I want them to exist in the same space and unite together because they have more star power than all of those men in the game come by. I don't think so, Honey

to queens and I want a new era of queens. Yes, and that's one minutes. Also, you know what, there's a lot of ones that like got pushed out, which really they didn't leave voluntarily. I mean, you know on them, where the hell is Eve? Where the hell is Foxy Brown?

Where the hell is like Elliott Elliott. I don't mean to say that there are only two women, but because honestly though I love no but you know what, it's it is true we've like done this thing where and you know what people I think people think like it's because they wear fun costumes and wigs, which all the white chicks wear fun costumes and wigs. And you're not saying that music is different. To say that one cancels the other out is such bullshit. Their styles are very different.

What was the situation with them when they talked at the Metcalo? Did they have a beef and they had a confrontation? No, no, no, there there there was no beef. But Nikki was on Beats one radio she sounded heard about something where um like Cardi maybe just maybe it

was about motorsport. It's about motorsport and about how like they couldn't get them together, and how the media narrative was, oh, Nikki's being Nicki and Nikki and doesn't want Cardi to be in the same room as her, and no one, none of the Mei goes and not even Cardi, no one backed her up and support her and say, actually, no,

this is a total lie. I really think it would be so cool if they released a song together, because they really are both stars and they really like It's like when I remember when it was peak Gaga and peak Beyonce and they released video Phone Phone. I don't think that that would be a good idea for Cardi to go on a track with Nicki Minash. Why because Nicki Minash is a beast. Yes, that was card She's not. She's not, Matt No, you haven't even given her album

a full listen, Yes I have. She She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not as skilled and I'm seeing in the way that Nikki is and that's fine, you know what I mean. I think I think Dualipa is amazing. I don't think it's a good idea for Dualipa, a duet with Beyonce Cardy. Yeah, I don't think that she's at Nikki's level. She's not at her level yet. And also Cardi has a real like pop poppy or like catchy commercial rap album. I think a lot of her songs are good. Be careful with me, That's all I

have to say. And I don't say to everybody, Hey, be careful, studies Anthem and also, guys, check out these other female mcs, Jungle Pussy, Lizzo amazing, like even Azalea. Still, I mean, like whatever, if you're willing to forgive and Yang endorsing Azalia, oh my god, truly maybe yes, um, but there's so many options out there. We still then it's a whole deli. It's a whole deli. There's a notary here. There are stars, and then there are superstars.

Nicki Minaj is a superstar, hardy as a superstars. But I don't I don't know. I think time will tell. I don't get why you're being so shaty with Cardia. I'm not being shady. I'm just saying she's been out for less than a year, Like you know what, I mean, like it's like chance the wrapper coming in and then it's like jay Z. I mean like, obviously there's a difference. We love right, right, But you have to acknowledge that one of them is a legend and one of them

has promised to be to get there. That's all I'm saying. Yes, it's a difference between icon versus legend. And I think that Nikki is an icon and a legend, and I think card okay, So then let me ask you this. She doesn't tend Nikki just just released Pink Friday and there's all to speak between her and Lokim. What about that? Like, isn't that an iconom legend situation too? I think that. But I think that well, and I think the fact

that they were pitting against each other whatever happened. But then, but now it seems like you're the one who's pitting them against you know, I'm not pitting them against each other. I'm just saying I don't think it's a good idea. It would be a good idea for Cardi to go on a track with just Nicki Minaj, because I don't think that Cardi would benefit from that just yet, until she cultivates her skills to that level. I think Nikki

is a beast. I think she's an actress. I think she's like a performer and a like artist in a way that like we we haven't seen that fully fleshed out with Cardi. I'm not pitting them against eachither. I'm just saying one is on an no way another level. The same way that when Nikki was on that Kanye Monster song, and Nikki had that like star turn moment because she was being brought you know, it's preparation meets the opportunity, and she had the oppertu and then she

stay up and she had that amazing, amazing verse. I think that Cardi would turn out a Bodac yellow for Nicki Minaj, and we've seen Cardi slay and that is Bodac yellow. I mean, that's a slick. That's what I'm saying. And I feel like I'm I can't believe I'm like

an expert on wrap. You are insane. I want to say that Barbie Tinks and Trenley, they're both like pretty middle, middle of the road Nikki songs in terms of skill and dexterity and flow, She's not like doing the whole monster level things she's not doing, even stuff that she did on pink Print, like Cardi on on what is it called her album? Um, no one's gonna help me out? Forget what? Oh? Um? So how come? How come I'm the one attacking Cardy But I'm the only one who

knows how album are you are attacking? She's just it's so good and has blown is like is spitting fire. But anyway, that was no one's gonna help me up. That was no one's gonna help me out, Like when that that video Christina Aguila when someone cost during her interview coughing during my interview. Really, I think that Devon is just Christina Aguilar being funny and being joking, being like coughing during my joking. That's clearly. But when but when Boone said no, he's gonna help me out, he

was not kidding. It's gonna help me out. I'm a bit bitch. But the bit that ye and who are we whose songs are saying you are careful with me, You'll be careful with me. Don't bite the hand. I don't nobody in here bite the hand? Why are you seating me? Chick? Don't nobody We had a great time with nobody in here and nobody in here bite the hand. And you know that's one of my famous catchphrase, stupid, don't bite the hand. I don't know my words, but

I do. It's like opportunity have been since you were both young children. No, I mean, look, I'm gonna start listening. I invited no no, no, no no. I invited you to the what was that place went? I don't started your career. This has been a great time with episode marks a seed change in Last Culture Resta's lore and the Last Culturesta's universe and the l CU. Because Matt has had a monopoly on all the catchphrases, I'm going

to start turning out the phrases. Bit. No one's gonna help me out with this, really really, so stay tuned for that. Um oh my god. This has been such a fun episode. Just a reminder. Really, I really have enjoyed this time. I feel like the worst side of me has come out, and I want to thank you for giving me the freedom to platform to say things that I will definitely regret absolutely and that you will call us that a week later to be like can

we take these parts out? We'll be like, yeah, of course, I don't know. I don't think anything's nothing nothing. I'm kidding. Well, I'll only request certain things stay in of course, and we'll we'll make the choices. Ahun went to cot. Yeah, you guys make the choices, but I'm I'm on the side of a rob here truth. Thank you, unfiltered, unedited. Um. We do end every episode with a song, and I think we know what song we're gonna end it with. And I got a dishwasher and it change my world. Yeah,

I got a dish washer and change my Oh. By by Forever. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Bohum, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our age on Facebook.