What's up, guys. This is Matt from Lost Culture Stas And as you know, we had a little bit of a special episode yesterday with me Bow and Cat and Pat called Seek Culture. That was part one and part two was about hit you right now, right across your dumb little face. So if you haven't listened to part one of Seek Culture, please listen to that episode on Seek Treatment and uh, here we go. We're about to do part two of Seek Culture right here on Lost Culture Stas. Look man, oh I see you? Why Bow
and look over there? How is that culture? Yes? Goodness, We're gonna move on. So this comes from Canada. This comes from Canada. This person provided their own um. This person provided their own pseudonym. It's Canada. So this is um what they say, Hello darlings. As a forty year old woman, I'm coming to you tiny young things for advice because I'm absused. I have been working in the creative arts as a theater director for more than fifteen years,
working with youth. There is a woman in the same community that used to work with me and now actively disparages me to others in our small theater. I love drama. I hear this from people that I work with, as well as thinly veiled social media post that she makes about our productions or as a person. I believe that this behavior comes from jealousy, as our shows are well attendant and quickly acclaimed. Her negative attitude towards me makes me feel nervous and I'm welcome in the theater community
in our town. Despite having a lot of friends in the community and having worked with many people, I worry about her gossip spreading and it discourages me from getting involved with other projects as an actor or even continue with my own. I rise above it and continue as a creative contributor to our community. Signed I'm not good. I'm not bad. I'm just right Canada. I'm like acted to her. We love you, love you. I'm so sorry that's happening. That's so shitty. It's like this person clearly
has needs so much treatment. I feel like the only thing you can do is just continue to be kind to everyone you come across, and yes, just they'll they'll see that it's not true and truly this sounds so this might sound simplistic, but it is one of those things where you just stay in your lane. My mom, for some reason always tells me, reminds me just like God,
work is really stressful. I have these enemies at work, but you know what, I just stay in, Like I keep my eyes on my own paper, and I smile at them. I'm nice to them. I do everything I can to just also stand my own ground, stake my
own claim on things. But like, all you can do is just ignore those fucking shitty people and also always remember that people can see that behavior, like you're not the only one who's not Like people can see that like passive aggressive and even sometimes flat out aggressive behavior on social media, and they talk about it amongst themselves, like hello whenever, like anyone's acting crazing in our community?
Do we not all talk about it? Yes, takes all the fact that this person is getting ship talked on her for sure. Yeah, it's just she sounds like this person sounds like a mess. It's definitely coming from jealousy. It sounds like your shows are great, sounds sound untalented. Can I ask you guys, do you guys have haters? I have one specific hater. Really, when I said screen grabs and sent to you don't remember remember like shape treat the screen grab and You're like, no, that's intense.
Oh that random person. Yeah, oh yeah, of course, I think sometimes will you talk about this sometimes, Like it's just like, it's not a hater thing. It's just like obviously an insecurity thing that we hear that we then hear about and it's funny think we won't hear about it. Yeah, or it's the people. It's yeah, it's not hate. It's just people putting certain things on us that aren't necessary, blowing off steam and maybe the maybe to the wrong person. And I get I don't forgrudge them of that. I'm
only just like, wow, that's just not true. And like at a certain point, and Study says that said this to us when we when you and I were complaining about this stuff, Study was just like, at a certain point, you just have to realize that the other person is just wrong and like there's that's you just leave it
at that. And that's the thing too, is with this situation, it's like all you can do is stay you're right in your lane, stay creating good stuff, and keep a positive attitude, and then you can go to sleep every night knowing that same thing. Yes, and the classic keep your side at the street clean situation. Don't let her
discourage you from doing other projects. That that that really breaks my heart if that's if that's true, and you know if it is, like try to just I mean your shows are well attended, like you are a successful theater director, like just really really past on that. If anything, let it fuel your fire. Yes, that that whole person? Okay, truly yeah, C I'm telling you please email back in. Some of my closest friendships start with drama and I'll talk about you, see, yes, I mean hello, alright, So
this one's from j D. I want fun name. I I loved Nana one two Simone. This this was from Simone. Simon is such a she's in a ninety Simone right one. I'm a newly graduated young professional l m F a O. So I have my first real time full job. I got dump by my college boyfriend and in my crazy post break up stage, I started sleeping with my coworker. It was supposed to be a one time thing, but it has turned into more than that. I stop too. I just got a bad haircut. It's way too short
for me. I continue living now. I love all of you. Thank you. I would say there's no reason to stop sleeping with him unless it's making you feel bad. If it's fun, yeah, I don't. I don't know about co worker. I don't care about like is this right. It's like, just do whatever you want. If no, if you're not hurting anyone, that's mine. But that's how I'm very selfish and I live for whatever feels good in the moment.
But it doesn't sound like it's turning in haircut, you can just kind of get on the side of the all bad haircut and just be like, you can always do something fine, then you can spin it. And looking back at my life now that it's over thirty and and with thirty, looking back at my life with thirty, I think that some of the happiest, most productive times of my life where when I had a bad haircut and then just funny how things work out. And also I think with the cowork, I think, just yeah, just
keep doing it. See what happens if you, I mean, if you realize you don't want to do it, then don't do Both of you guys are like, no, I don't. I think there is like real truth to people saying like don't where you eat. I think I think because I think I think someone who's done it, I can't stop doing in an office environment. I mean like like we we we get to now like have these loose definitions of like what work is and like what work coworking space cissar okay, um, padstope and very he's going
to set this one up. So but I just think every workplace is different. It depends on what your workplace is. Like. If you're if there is potential for this to end poorly and for this too, for this to like repercussing some bad way at your job, then that's a little risk. And I'm so sorry about your your college ex boyfriend. Um, but it's for the best. It's for the Yeah, it's for the best that you guys maybe aren't together. But I I just I don't know. I I think it
really depends on the circumstances with the coworker. Well, it's like this, it's it was supposed to be a one time thing, but it has turned into more than that. So it's not that she's saying it's become okay, fucking more. It could even be feelings. So if it's feelings, then then negotiated like and also like you can't deny what you're feeling. And also just check in. I think it's a good check in moment because there's a reason to check in, because you work together. And it's also never
beat to check in. Yeah, I've never stopped doing something, literally my whole early twenties and my actually it was all sucking my bosses and literally the last boss I had at this restaurant I worked at, I wanted to fox so bad, like, and I was like, this is a bad instinct, I think, and I think it would have been bad head I had sex with him. Ah, can we close the door? Sorry, it's insane. No, you're
making hot produced good. I'm sorry, hot produced. I'm sorry. Like, the instinct to keep it open is so crazy than me. It's like the stepping over her bag. It's like the opposite. Do we have anything else for this? No? I feel like you're in a great place. It's exciting that are single and working and young and hot. I think I think, especially when you got to college, you you have to have those ship where you eat moments from them. Will it turned out? Will it be easy? Well? Will it
create problems? Maybe? But isn't that what your twenties is for ye problems? Problems? Can I read one? Yeah? Okay, what's this person? Everybody? I'm going to call this person CUTI? Cutie? Matt saw his photo and truly it's just because he's blond and I don't and white. Stop it? You always do that to me. I have d colonized. I don't like what's that? What's his name? Bonds? Really? Either? Okay? Stop now this is and you cannot and if you
like blonde? If every okay, guys, what's their name? Cuttest? All right? The cutie fest? How do I move to NYC? As a CUTI fest? Ask you, guys us? How do I move to NYC? As a dumb person without money? No, you're not dumb. I'm twenty two And people used to always say I have potential, but now they don't say it anymore. Weird what kind of potential? Let let's see if and then cutiefest continues? So how can I get discovered or at least make friends discovered? Also? Like, where
do I live? Literally? How does New York work? I feel like New York City is at least three states big xo x new York works? Like this? Wait? I want to hear weights up. I want all of us to go around and one send to say how New York works? And so New York is, um really just like a vertical, like it's just stacks of people, and um,
that is horrifying if you think about it. It's just people living on top, literally living on top of each other, and that really informs the whole sort of politics of the city and how that's people really to each other. How the infrastructure is crumbling literally as we sit here, um in an old building. So that's that's how New York works, Catherine, How does New York work? New York is emails, coffee is crugslist, New York is walking through the garbage and saying, let its know, you can't find
that anywhere else New York. New York is Oh my god, it's fabric. It's now as it's music, but it's also rhythm. And you know what it isn't no no, no, no, okay. Is that helpful? I would say helpful? Street easy dot com where you find But that being said, I'm looking for the partment right now and I found So here's let me ask you what we're all going on and saying, ok, you started that one thing you're bothering, bathering my ass. I found a great place and they send me the application.
I'm like, I don't know what any of this means. What's a letter of employment? I'm serious. For me, well that's your freelancer. So what I would do for you is that this is my advice to you. Your see culture is I would have Joe's Pubs. Yeah, I wasna say the exact same thing, maybe even email. Take a big whatever your biggest check is. Showed them that paste ub. You know what I mean? Like you you're your most
recent largest checks, showed them those paste ubs. It's different for you because when Henry and I were looking for an apartment, he had to go to the end of the earth to prove his income and it is annoying. But you can do it, and I think it would be rather easy for you. But my voiceover stuff is what I would say. Yeah, you have the voiceover stuff, Just where do you make the most consistent money live performance voice over? You should do the voice over and
you should you should literally ask just sense. Yeah, I would do that. You should do the voice over, and you should do the voice You should do the voice that's okay, well was more after thank you guys, What is New York? Now? She's addicted to me again? It's so so they make it so. Why do I need to know everything about my life to give me an apartment? It's especially the government owned building that Henry, the one that used to come to when we lived together. It
was psycho to lockdown that apartment. It was a three month process. Then they took a month to even decide and they needed they needed my, Um, they needed my like w nitance. It was fucking crazy crazy at York. Um, New York is a ton of contradictions. Everyone's gay and no one's gay. There's always a place to charge your phone. There's never a place to charge your phone. It's good, it's bad. Everyone's hot, no one's hot. Everyone's obsessed with you,
no one months to fuck you. Um, everyone's a comedian, nobody was funny everyone. Um, yeah, that's New York. That's so good. I love that now. New York is an epic song and the verses are all um, the versus all detailed people acting like they know exactly where they're going. And in the verses of the song that is New York, you have people who are welcoing confidently upstairs, downstairs to subways, standing in subways, sometimes even using both their hands or
leaning on the subway poles, taking up space. New York is a lot of people taking up a lot of space. But guess what In the chorus of the song, it's a lot of indecision, honey, it's all a lot of just ordinary people. It just outdinary people. And guess what, So are you, baby, And listen to what I would say to you, cutfest, just do it, because the way that you moved to New York, there's no one who can ever fucking tell you. Here's how you do it,
here's what to do. Get a relatively cheap apartment. You're twenty two, like, be resourceful. You're gonna have to get a job that you don't really like in the beginning, and you're probably gonna have to have that job for a little bit. That is part of the grind. What I would say to anyone that wants to move to New York City is prepared to not fucking love your life for the first three or four years. No twenties hated my life. I worked five days out of the
week at a restaurant. You worked at nine to five word, I tempt at the shittiest places, and I worked at nine to five where I hated my life. I currently nanny. Yeah, and what did you do before? Like you were making money like and and wait at table day baby, I was. I was a career waiter, like we were all we all fucking hit like you know, mopped the floors and ship you know, you gotta be prepared to come here and like just do the work to build a base.
And it takes longer in New York, but the rewards are really great. And I would say this town anything anything, it really can I'm serious. I get really emotional, I think, and also want more contradiction as yours. Your wildly delusive of everyone, but everyone also it is very sad to you keep your head down. It's like I'm even saying everyone else and just keep your head down and work. And then I feel like, you know, people used to tell you always have potential, but now they don't say
it anymore. That's not true, I thought, I thought, I thought, sorry years old. Thought. Pat's contradiction was to me, you're wildly jealous of people, but you're also very happy for everyone, but then and everyone's very I had to say that I will say, go listen to the company's soundtrack, play another Hunter, people, and book your ticket. Bitch God, yes, come to New York. Show up places. Yeah, just just show God. Force yourself to go out, even if you
feel awkward, even if you're alone. But also know that it might not Like I don't know, I did. I did those things and then it didn't work out for a long time and then I had to complain and figure out again. But it's like, um no, but I mean I like fully crashed and burned and had to be out of New York. And it's like I think
that it is. I will just come to about for the fact that, like, um, sometimes it's easy to make just make the leap, then net will appear, and sometimes it doesn't and you kind of fall on your but how are you here now? Hey, that's if you will kind of allow me. Got to it. But then you come back and rework and we figure But but I'm saying even now, like I that's part of my ethos is like um is whenever I'm thinking about a big decision like this will work out, like I'll just have
the hustle. It's like that that doesn't always work out. That is not um a functional place to be to think it will work out. Yeah, that's my point. Necessarily, I disagree. I always think I always manifest. I don't know. I'm always like it's gonna be Okay. I'll add, like you have to. One time, one time Brian treated and this isn't a comment on anything. One time Kate Briland treated.
Did you manifest that or was it white privilege? That's also true privilege, but um, cutie face has white privilege. Ute face stop. I mean, I'm looking at it, perfecting cut And I also want that when he gets to a New York he can contact but also we can also be just be friends. Have let's have pat red their one Okay, okay, okay, let me find it. Okay, here we go, here we go, and then now create a nickname for him. Okay, no, so ok. One to
three asks what subject line? The subject line is, um lal s O S do you guys say l O L or lalol? Ever since met and set the set after we did a comedy show the two days after the election, and then she just kept saying in her set L o l at these people wearing pins safety okay, and also met Whitmer Thomas fucking Love addicted. They're going to do game show New York Fun. I really want to go. You know what I was thinking when he said, like I just had this like flash, I was like, wow,
Like we've been doing this a long time. There was a lot you guys. RABA needs our help, hey, folks, bigs ups, big ups for this idea. Love any therapy that doesn't dig into my crippling student debt. Okay, yes, queen, go off and say, how do y'all, How do y'all as creatives reconcile your desire for fulfillment, success, and even a certain degree of fame. We don't know what you're talking about, the fact that artistic ability is not much
of a rarity these days. In other words, with so many other talented, paranthetical, and beautiful people out there with brilliant ideas, how do you find the value in your own art? Slash voice at positively you drag us rara um? Does this read as a cry for help? Question? Question mark live lave law of excamation point, keep doing what you're doing. I'm not sure I think I'm offended. I think is asking art. Art isn't easy. These look at the premise of the question is that we were not
for unique unique talents. No we are. No, no, no, He's saying, how do you just keep on? I think really the root of this question is when you know that so many people around you are so talented, and like, when there is a lot of ship going on out there that is good, and now there's so many channels to put it on, how do you say the course and not get unfolding. Robert's asking this for themselves, you
know what I mean. They're like, I think what I'm getting is Roberts saying, I know so many talented people. It's so easy to be seen by people nowadays with social media. But like, how do I how do you still make whatever I want to make space? So I think that's tough, I mean, but I mean that's another thing where you just do it. You can't let it. You can't let the scale of things keep you from
from from putting stuff out right. Also, I read it more is with with all the with all this stuff happening, sometimes just feels like more opportunity. Sometimes it feels a competition.
Sometimes it feels an opportunity. And they also think that I caught Shades and Ra's message towards us that it was like, um, like I get in these conversations with people who aren't in the field the industry that they're like, it's like people people that don't know I'm not to be like, I just have like so much respect for you kind of like pursuing pursuing your dreams, really going for it. And I'm like, I feel like I never
made the decision. It's like, I feel like everyone does have an artistic ability, and so to me, part of the question is how do you want, Like why are you choosing to pursue his career if everyone has that some people are other jobs, and it's like and you trying to look at it like, well, they can do whatever they want. They could do this too, Like I don't.
I never made the choice. I truly never, at any point made a choice to try and do comedy and have actively tried to quit comedy many times, and and so it's just like, um, I don't know why I'm doing it and they're not, but it's their choice to do it or not. Like I didn't make you do marketing, you know what I mean? Like whatever addicted you? I think, I think you're like, Um, I don't know, because I I just try and I just try and not think about I just try so hard down to compare myself
to the people and just have a psychotic amount of confidence. Um, even when the world tells me you shouldn't be that confident, which happens all the time. Can I say something that really helps me? Because I sometimes do fall victims to the thing of compare just and then you despair when you see someone else like that's really shining, Like embrace that. Like if you see like that, there's like a video that someone wants to share, maybe share it, maybe like
give it a like, maybe tell someone you liked it. Honestly, that thing that you're afraid of, which is someone else's success, you'd be surprised how much you can actually be a part of that, you know what I mean. And that's contagious. I think that when you go out of your way and you do you celebrate someone else, it only pays
off good dividends for you. So this thing that you're afraid of or that maybe isn't iimidating to you, which is like other people starting to pop or like you know this thing, it's really it doesn't exist and it's not taking anything from you. And in fact, like you can choose and opt into being positive. And I think that that reverberates in a really good way. Good energy is a real thing, you know what helps me And
it sounds like it's unrelated. I have found that it helps to have like some internal physical anchor in you. And this sounds crazy, Okay, So I've been meditating and then one of the guided things for like compare like for like something to listen to, like before you go into like a creative setting or something, is like they tell you to like find like a point of focus in your body and you just rest your focus on that. But for me, literally it's from my groin. I feel
like I just like anchor. I do a kegle basically, but it's a mental cagle where I just like as soon as I happened to that, like everything else falls into place, and like I'm on and like I might make me horny. I think I'd have to drugle. No no, no, no, no, it like it really like as soon as I like, like I anchor myself into my own body. It's something that like no one else can take away from you.
It's like it's something that's only about you. It's like not about your extenuating circumstances, like find that in yourself, whether it's from whether you're going to perform from from your groin or from your shoulder or whatever the funck find add to that, I also think that you just has to keep going back to like I'm doing this because at the end of the day, I want to do this and I want to create something meaningful to me and like um, and yeah, I think that the
question about motives and like fame and career and stuff like I've recent like Trulli in the last month, gotten to this place where it's not um, I don't feel a need to chase that anymore. I think it's like even just doing the pod, like having a small, little, a small broaden of my scope, like um of people I'm reaching, Like, um, it's a huge it's a huge deal. It's it's it was a jump from where I was before the POD, and I was like, oh, this is like what I wanted, like having people know who I
am more. And then even that small thing, I was like, oh, I actually like, I don't necessarily like or want this. I just thought I didn't. Yeah, and then I'm like, well, I'm not doing it for that. While I'm doing I'm like, oh, because I like to try to make people laugh. That's really what it is. And I've had the same realization it's never been Actually I thought it was about like fame and attention, and that's been like annoying to deal with.
But really, like, even as like our audience has grown, I've still had this thing, which is like, how am I going to creatively like fulfill myself? And that's how you're That's when you know you're a true creative is it's like you're still craving something. So this thing of other people, it's not necessarily about them. Just celebrate them
and find what's gonna like make you better. And I was just gonna say one of the like most interesting things I've felt the past few years meeting people in the biz, I feel like the most successful people I've met are the most complimentary to other people. They're the nicest. It's like crazy when someone who I think it's so successful and talented like says something nice to me, I'm like,
you did not have to do that. I think that's why people, some people like that get to work so much, because there's such a delight and they bring this good vibe and they're they're really happy for other people. And I, yeah, I've been trying a lot more lately to really, like, especially younger comedians, to like, you know, give them opportunities and be like, yeah, totally, I can't wait. I really
want to because I can help other people. That's been so different thing about like I don't think so honey, is knowing that, like, yes, that's fun to be a part of. It's like, you know, we give a lot of people like not even opportunity. You know, I don't giving them that, but it's like, you know, it's cool to know that it's a place where so many people can get it there and say they're feelings. It's really we have a good question right here. Okay, who's it from?
This is from? Okay, Johnny, Johnny pass the left of it makes me? Here we go, hey, Cat, Pat, Matt and Bowen? Is it weird to listen to both of your pods religiously? If I'm straight? Okay, I'm horny? Oh my god, never mind. Also, if I'm in high school, I'm no longer horny. Even when Catherine is coming to Chicago, I can't go because I'm not over love both pods. Mike, I think you are, Oh ship, that's his name, Johnny. I think we all when we do you wish? Do
you think we all knew whose name was? Mike? Okay? John I want to say, I think you're evolved, your ahead of your time or an ally, you're doing important work. You'll be twenty one soon, you can come hang out all the fun shows. Um, I think you are. Yeah, you're ahead of your time, and I thank you. You get it and then you get to know that you
get it and not everyone else. And I love people like Johnny because it's like when you find when you find a straight who just like he gets it, it's you know, like I had a long chat last night with and you will shout him out Martin Nirvana, a rare straight who just like completely gets it, and it's so fucking funny. I die every time I see him, and like the stage friends are good and then just chatting with it, I was like, you're you're a diamond in that you're a straight man that you can actually
talk to and he's so he and Kelsey are so sweet. Yeah, they're great, And I just think like, yeah, I think it's faking great that that you're straight and you're like these pods, and also that's cool that you're in high school.
I think you're obviously developing into an extremely cool person and get a fake idea and see Catherine, And I think depending on where my clothes that could be important to people in high school for there to be straight people that I think it's so important that there's I mean sorry, I think it's so important for them to be straight people in high schools all around America that listening to our podcast. Although here's my thing with the
straits that let that get it. I'm often so attractive, so horny for them, and then I get angry, Wait, who is your straight? Who is the Who are other straights who got it? In the commune? Tim Platt, Matt Grossman, Bryan Heaney, Oh in our community? Yeah, Tim Platt, he gets it. And everyone that's been on Game Show gets it. Brian and Nick big at it. That was so fun.
I know we were on their night. It was truly, truly, truly, and I gotta do another one, and then I got to judge Straits pageant and it was Brian and Nick were there, and Brian made it to the finals, and I wanted so and I wanted I was like, I felt like a judge at the end, being like being like, I watched your whole straight pageant journey and I'm so pleased the next pageant. Literally, Catherine, I made like a list of like my guest the judges that I wanted
the next straight pageant. It's on a Wednesday. What did janus so sad sa when I couldn't come to the last one. I know, I just got triggered. I just got because you know when you go skiing and there is they give you a lift ticket and has the date on it one how it's on February and for an entire and I just left it on my jacket and for like an entire winter. This this kind of like bully hid would it come up to me and flip it and like February are yeah? Crazy? And I
know that was January. Put me back in that place. Okay, I'm sorry. We can hit that out if you want. Do you know in high school of my guy friends, this thing where you would they would flip our boobs and go flip the burger and we thought it was funny and we left. Isn't that we have a question that's sort of seek Treatment centric? But I also think because Boonen and I have been on a Seek Treatment pod, we can it's it's forever one for everyone everyone, So well,
go ahead, Okay, what's this person's name? Jo Joo definitely doing that kind of J exclamation J very much. Jo Jocko Joco asks what qualities are you looking for in
your crush of the Week selection? They my dick move. Um. I think it's a it's like it's like a thing of Um, what depends because sometimes we do kind of kind of you a little cop out one, or it's like someone we just want to celebrate, and sometimes we do like someone I'm watching TV and like something really turned like I was my most recent crush of the week as Aita as Ambross from Sabrina the Teenage where it either you watch it, the New New Adventures, The
New Adventures, you know, the t g I f ABC Melissa Joan Harten vehicle. My crush of the Week was from that project, and ultimate crush of the Week is Harvey though from the originality I know, yeah, no, I know. He never was someone who who ignited my loins. I was much more of like um, Steve from Full House. It's my kind of but I get, I get what
you're qualities. But so it's like so it's like Ambrose's Sabrina's cousin, and like he's British and like, um, he's chopped in the house and he is gay and is like hooking and he's like cooking up with this guy and like you don't and he's like just sitting in his room. They had this like flirtation and then and the guys in the far areas you can tell. And
then like he's kind of like the other guy. And then like Ambross is sitting in his room and this like silk robe and the guy just shows up in his room and they just like start hooking up and it's like exciting, exciting. I'm looking for excitement and a crushes. You're looking for excite, something excites me. Speaking of British, Katherine, did you hook up with any British? Oh my god, really, it's so jealous. Oh my god, I've never hooked up with the British. She held up her She held up
at number with how many again wow in British. Really no, just just for the just for the moment, but no Els l baby L was fleeting. I was beautiful, l lns, blonde, Catherine inequalities that you look for. So we've got dick move excitement. For me, it's about it's an eminous surprise. I like and if I like, if I see a picture of you and I don't feel anything, and then I meet you and I'm like, oh shit, like that
that confidence that we have, that chemistry with someone. Like I remember meeting someone at a show once and I didn't I was like not, I was like not thinking about crushes. I was like thinking. I turned and we made eye contact and I was just like oh some things. Yeah. And then when like you're sort of like drawn to someone, you have to keep talking to them. Oh my god, I'm the horniest one in America right now. Yeah, I
have to say. I it's an intangible thing for me, like and I'm kind of missing it right now, Like I don't have like I mean, I have that one person that I like think about a lot, which is toxic, but I'm missing like a crush like I'm I really like I don't know, I just missed that feeling of like liking someone in that way. I'm coming out of a very deep, obsessive crush that, um, I'm coming at a catel. It's ending and I'm excited. It's I'll have some Do you feel like you're getting over it or
you're like you're letting it go. I think I'm letting it go. I think that I was just I just I texted to Cathy the other day. I've reached the point of I've reached the point of the obsession where I don't even I can't even keep check up if I like the person or not. It's not about that, And um, it's been pretty intense. Yeah, it's been really intense. It's it's been one of my most intense ones. And it's I think that I think that I'm just letting it play out however it will, and I'm like a
piece with it. I have one loose end of where I discussed it too much on a podcast and I'm hoping they can edit things out, but we need the producers working all hands on. I texted the team and I said, this is an all hands on duck situation, can't clear your week, cancel your obligations? Speaking to do that with thirty still is homosexuality. We have another question. I feel like we answered that, but what was your crush? What do you look for? Oh? Next? Also it's would
I think we should just point for transparency's sake. Often won't say your actual crushes as right? I mean, come on, let's do two more? Um hi, big fan? Oh this person is um asks Hi, big fan? Also, could you please tell Patty Harrison and Loria La Ramirez to release more a woman's smile? Please? Thanks, We'll tell them, We'll tell them. Question. I'm mad at that one, but my friends my question why from question? I am a gay that hates anal sex topping the whole thing. What do
I do? It doesn't necessarily turn me off. I can do either fine, I just don't really get anything from it. Everything else is great. Sometimes I feel like a fake gay because of it. Tell me what to do? Let me have to You are not allowed we have to talk about this, but I have gone through. I've taken a turn in my journey. Um, because you both kind of expressed to me that you didn't love a grew. I used to be so secretly closet anti anal um, and I was like, it's so messy, it's gross, like
just and blah blah blah blah blah. And then at a certain point, I don't know if this is like politically to like controversial to say there's some there's some level of like there's some level of like internalized homophobia there, and there's some thin level of it where you're like, what I do with my sex is disgusting for me. It just hurts, and it hurts. But here's my talking exclusively and here's my turn. Um gotten. Some guys they there's such a thing as a trainer dildo. I bought
and it's changed everything. Trainer Dilda, I got a trainer Delda. I got a good lube. Just go to your look, go to a local sex shop. Trainer dildo, good lube, and poppers And like I said, I just clock clock on my computer, stick it up my ass, do poppers. And then I get and then I'm like, oh wait, this is I'm meant to this. And now I'm like kind of ramping up to like being intangled, but but nothing I want more than to enjoy getting fucked. I look, it looks so funny. And the guys that like it,
they say it's like being on a wild ride. Yeah. But what I will also say, though, is I think I think we're just This question doesn't read to me as h no, no, not that it doesn't read to me as um, bottoming being painful. It reads to me as a conceptual kind of oh yeah, disconnectedness to anal sex as a practice. But but what I will say is, um, I think that's fine. I think that I'm in a place right now with thirty where where like, um, I
think that's fine. You don't have to like anything. And I think that maybe you'll have to find someone who likes the ship that you like. But everyone, you know, I'm in this place where I'm talking to someone and they were like a total bottom and I generally would probably be that too, but like but they were like, yeah, I were like this guy, but he's ver us. I need a total top, you know what it's like. And I'm like, well, if you find someone you really like,
you'll figure out how to get each other off. And if they like you back, and they really it's like, don't worry about to cooking up I think it can become warped your brains how important it is and how important these roles are and like, um, how important, like what the kind of brass tacks of what we do is and like ultimately, like if you find someone that you really like, and even if you like different things, but you really like each other, you will figure out
a way to make each other come. And like don't overthink it. You know, your sex is your sex, And I think, like, don't ever think that you have to do like what's important that ship is crazy, Like I could never you can't physically do what they do because they're also like nothing, they're professionals. They do that they live. They have to be able to perform that way. And that's sort of like fantasy sex world. And also I think sometimes it's like something they have enhancements that they're
able to do the things that they do. But also this trainer Dould, I'm going to have to highly recommend it, but you don't have to have You also don't have to have anal sex. You don't have to partake in it. Um. For me, it's just if you if you are in a place um grew, if you that you want to arrive at that and enjoying it, then I would recommend if you're if you're open to bottoming more, just doing that, then the trainer DELDO has leveled me up to the
actual deld that for the longest time. Yeah, it sounds like he doesn't even just like it. It sounds like glue Um has come, has top has bottomed, and it's like, I don't really care. It's not my thing. Yes, no, And I know I get that, and I get that. I get that about glue Um. My thing is sometimes with the anal sex thing is like, because I don't like the way that we have literal intracourse, I sometimes get sad that I will never be able to experience
true sexual connection. And I'm just like that makes me very wait because because you don't think because I don't want, because I don't, I don't know, Like it's it's it's like a weird thing where I'm like, am I missing out on I've had sex with a woman and it was not connected. Yeah, I think there's been there's been things that aren't full penetration that are so much more intimate pleasurable than like, so I mean it doesn't matter. I mean I'm just thinking of the people I sucked,
know how deeply disconnected? Okay, so one more and this one. This was a simple fun one. So um, what's this person's name? Oh, Barbara Gina Barbara's as Gina Barbara's has asked well says, my favorite thing to do in the world is to go to the movies by myself and Nari sushi and then have a little cry over the end credits. I even did this during TAG. Not my finest hour, but I guess a more functional adult human would seek out other people and try to convince them
beyond my person nod into my body. How do I switch modes from socially anxious and fond of snacks too slightly less likely to never need a plus one invite to a formal social events like she's putting crush on herself. Solitary Gene Barbara's as Gene Barbara's evolved, We're all working towards being okay with our solitary. What I will say JBZ is that I'm someone who swings back and forth
Gina Barbara's as. I'm someone who swings back and forth in a pendulum between someone who who isolates very much and like, well, well, we'll not we will not respond to emails about hanging out and will not make any plans to be alone for an extended poo of time. And then sometimes I'm central place where I get done what I have to do for the day, and it would be nice to sleep, but I can't just go home and be myself. I have to be around people.
And then and then there's that compulsion and I kind of go back and with me those two things, and I think neither one of them is better than the other. But like a balance is healthy and like if but this sounds like a uh self care thing that you do once in a while and it's fine, it's fine. I just think it's like you don't want to always be alone, maybe, but you don't have to always be with people. Being invited to events is one so overrated.
I don't get invited to ship. Also, whenever I do get invited to ship, oftentimes you go to events and speaking people is like, it's not enjoyable. I've been going the last three movies I've seen Anyone alone to Alam the Drafthouse. I think movies should be seen alone. I'm gonna don't want to see happy that they do alone with me? Is it not yet? I just had a preview. I think happy that they was so good. I want to watch. It's really like movie, Catherine. It's not the
idea I do, but I don't. It's honestly not that they came me up at night, but I like them. It honestly is not that scary. It really is more of it. It's really more of a think piece. And um, it's a vibe for you because it's at AIG it's a college college, which is even more fun because it's rarer and it's it's rarer and June, um. But for that, they was so good and I think that they too will be so good. Well, um, j June. Barbara's is
as I think you. It's can Katherine's completely right, your revolved. Let me just finish this, um And I was going to okay, no, you literally cut it in. Stop you. Cavin's right, you were so evolved for being for finding this comfort like sushi and a cry at the end credits sounds so perfect. You are really getting to the emotional honest of who you are on a regular basis, and you know what what triggers it and I think you have nothing to do. You don't need to do anything.
You have nothing to change June. Jabba isn't June a thing? J June means like um, like really like basic, basically simplistic, like so you were using you brought that word into my life at the annoyance June about your old boss annoyance pot WERENAE never told me about June. Well we don't. We weren't close friends about He kept that from it. He wasn't ready to share that part of his life with me. And I hope one day you're ready. Okay,
were you gonna say? I can connect Gina Barbara's as our last question back to one of our first questions, my on to get off again kind of sister, I kind of fight with e C. What was the name? You see? But I think that was the start of the episode. I think thematically you can connect to two questions because Gina Barbara's as feels so much guilt doing things she wants to do alone. That's why we get to this place where we need our partners to like the same things as USO, because we can't just do
the things ourselves. We need to have our person that we're dating. We can go as two people, but on some level you do want to share those things on some level, on some level it is it adds meaning to the relationship, and I understand that. But there's no requirement, like what the compulsion as long as the compulsion doesn't consume all of it. Thank you? Can I just say I saw one more question that's really good, and then we can we can, right, this person asks, and this
person is named this person this person. Is it bad that I want someone who's done me wrong to suffer? Oh? No, not at all. No, But I think think it's wrong. I think it's I think it will ultimately make you sadders. I just don't want everyone to suffer. I want every single person. Besides, I just think that everything it's so hard, Everything is so hard, and everyone's everyone's inst level. Everyone. You can't live in a place where negativity. You just can't.
You're right, You're right to quote the series finale of Hbos Girls, everyone's an emotional pain. Yeah, go ahead, You're going to sit in the seeling and it's going to hurt you. Girl drinking boys and helping other person dies. But also I get I'm saying this intellectually, but I fully do this every yaday. We all trap ourselves in that thought. But you're right, you guys, you guys, are you guys are teaching me compassion? And thank you because I came in hot, like yes, it's fine to do it.
And actually, none of these mikes have been on this whole time. This has all been a forest to teach bo. Yes, thank you, Um, this has been seek I don't know. I think it has to be an event. It must do you want to It's like a wrap up where I like, like a garden are you mad at me? Or like are you mad? And then and then we'll
all do one. I don't think it's any at the same time, alright, okay, if you're holding my hands like which by what I said, if you're holding me, what I meant was, can you guys who wants to go? I want to say when we all yes, it's I'm happening here. I honestly, I think this is like a very vulnerable and nice episode. And I think it's good that we can all talk about our diseases with each other. And I'm open to um. I'm always open to all of your critiques that I trust your opinions. I feel
the exact same way. Are we doing? Are you? Are you mad at me? I don't know? That wasn't really one? Can I see that? Can I know something I was? I was reporting Bowen's hand is so warm, Pat's hands. Are you feeling this at all? Are you feeling this? Yes? For I'm like a pizza. I'm got pizza cooking for me. Cathain's hands room tamp and Matt's hand is a little warm. Matt's hand is warm. So the hottest person name is Bonn. Then that that made them? That's it bad? And that tap?
Who are you? Okay? So Pat, I'm not mad at you. I feel like we still haven't hung out, I know, even though we spent truly most of making got back from Britiship love all. There's so much to talk about. We've also been in the company of others I know, which is good, which is fine, but we keep having one on ones where there's another person there, so definitely sex the one on one, Okay, I'm not. I was like, actually, there's like, where's Matt been? Like, I haven't seen you
in a while. I'm and you seem really good. I'm the last time I saw you, you were and now you're great and bo like everything. It's such a such a treat to see you, such a treat. You seem so good. And the last time I saw you was the car ride. And I'm glad things are are good. Since I'm glad things are with you. I'm not mad at you, and I'm I'm so in awe of all you do and I'm sorry that you were distressed. No, you came in. Thank you, UM, I love thank you
for saying that. UM, I love you very much for saying it's an old catch phrase, thank you, thank you for saying about that. I do remember, Cat. I love you so much. I'm so happy to see you. I'm so happy that British was such a good trip, um. And all the success that you've you've been experiencing lately so deserved, and I'm so thrilled. UM. Not mad at you, Cat.
I'm sorry if there was a little bit of aggression today, But that's that is our that is your that is your tenor with all three of us, and then that it is beautiful because you know what, at the end of the day, all three of us love you. And I'm not mad at you, but I'm always willing to exchange candor with you, even if it means that some barbs are are barbed. Um, Matt, I feel like this is the same thing where that Katherine was saying about Pat. I feel like I haven't seen you in so long
we will we literally have not. I I miss you every day. I love you so much, and I broke my heart that I wasn't able to come down and think so Honey in New York last week stepped in, thank you so much, and you have so much. I love you so much. I'm not mad at you, but are you at me? You couldn't you go? Now it's my turn to go, not mad at you at all, only overjoyed to see you. I'm happy that you had um a good, nice piece in the show last year. And um, I have a lot to tell you about
l about l Well. I was gonna say, also, yes, sorry. My last thing is you look great. You. I feel a difference. I feel a change. There's definitely a change. And it's almost like there's such a change where I couldn't possibly be mad. And even if I was, and I'll say this like my spirits were truly lifted. This morning, and I am only on two hours of sleep I
can believe. So it's crazy. Catherine literally not mad at you at all, only overjoyed to see you and gotta say like, like we will have to carve out some time maybe for one on one time for us, because I sometimes feel that that has the monopoly. What about
odd Fox? I would love I would love Odd Fox, but we just need to go at one time because often no, because often times I'll see like it'll be crazy because and this is not jealousy, this is just a foam a moment where literally it feels like Cat and Pat always are together and Bow and Young do to the nature of his schedule, cannot always be available to me. And sometimes I'm like, I feel I look at you guys whatever this well, the thing is you also have friends at your Yeah, I just got okay,
so and then just to go around the room. So Catherine, absolutely not mad, Pat not mad, not mad at all, Always a joy to see you. Always make me laugh, and I love this, this moment of all four of us being together. I think that if I was mad, it would be like that you had to go to the bathroom that other time. But it's only because I wanted you in the room the whole time. Okay, I'm a little bit mad that while I'm talking to you, you decided to do a duck face while Hopper I
takes a picture. I wonder, I wonder if you heard the last So I guess now it's Pat's turns' going to my toolbag and take out duct face every time there's a camera. And that's okay. If we haven't we invented that. We all you have to use the same old wheel. Okay, find your groin. I feel something You're special. Find it works. I'm finding my grain. And then do you feel something emanated out? You feel something like energy emanating out from your groin. My daughter's name will be
my groin. I don't feel my son. My son named Chris and Mike and Chris and Mike. I want to be gay. I want to be straight. Famously, it's a real culture number sixteen. All Chris is our gay straight Pat. I'm going okay, Catherine, Yeah, I'm not mad at you at all, but no, it's no. But I miss I know, I don't know why we were in this place. We keep hanging up, but we keep missing. I would like when we were at club coming I was, I was with you and no, um no, I just I think
it's like we're getting Um not mad at you. I think this whole thing has been so special. I know. I think we have this extra level of safety from our special and it's going to become an from Lady Mom's restaurant. Who I just saw it did the show in l A. She went last. She was a closing number. Okay,
here's the thing. Every single I don't think so, honey, I forget because you know this, we have to present for every single one and then it's like a total until I have to like put so much energy into listening to every single one so that I forget them. But um, she she I remember hers, she literally did. I don't think so, honey. The fact that I'm the closer of this event. Um and Uncle b s J was there too, anyway, Okay, now go back, and I'm not mad at you, and I have to say this
is the both of you. I have a new foundress fact for what you guys do. I don't think the only live because when I was sitting I was like there were so many points where I was like, oh my God, like I can't believe I'm still on stage. I'm so hard. I'm so tired. Sometimes Matt would say things and I would just look at him and not respond, like I can't do this one. I'm sorry, like and I would just like say another thing, and I was like, but it's so hard, that's sorry. I'm on all the time.
It was I got and then I got off and I was so tired, and I was like, I can't believe they do this regularly. It's so difficult. Um, but I'm not mad, not at all. I do enjoy your kind of tip for tatt mouse spander, Tom and Jerry Beach. I don't know who's the cat and who's the mouse, but um, but yes, definitely there was a little bar when you just let me finish, because I definitely feel like there's a narrative that gets constructed that I talked
too much. And I was like, okay, you're definitely kind of adding a brick to that house. But it's a note that I need and I know what I thought today, but so connected to you, and I felt like scorpio sisters, we have similar diseases, were bonded through that our struggles. I started different, but similar are different strains of disease. I can have my kids to hear this up. None Chris, who is going to live on for two hours and four doors, just jerking themselves off on a table. Addicted
Matt Roger could never be mad in the mill. I was so thankful when you asked me to do I don't think so. Did we have such a fun time, such a fun time. It was so fun special and talk about giving an opportunity because I got new fans at night, Yes, absolutely, and their friends. What's the different? It opened the door to kind of smoking a cigarette, no hands, It's one of our talents. I think it opened the door and we decided that we are going
to do a show together. Yes, the incredible chat pat the incredible that I know, also saying that one bone my Matt and Cat have their one on one. Yeah, and I gonna have one on but then ends. I want to say that when Patent have their show catam Bow, catam Bow and the great show, and that we sometimes collaborate because of the Cabernet chops. Whenever you need me, yes, and He'll be opening for me my little show and I will. I'm always there. I'm sad that you're going
to be gone gone in fab and March. Well, aren't you also going to be We're gonna be an We're gonna But then who's going to do the show? Now, I'm mean, sorry, who's going to do the show? And you'll find someone they'll be but your number one? Okay, so the final bit, let's le raise hands. Here's what I think we should do. I think we should each do a fifteen second I don't think so, and that'll be one minute, all right, okay, okay, so okay, so, um god, I have one one. I don't have one.
I don't have one. But here we go. Um, I'll start, and then Pat goes, and then Katherine will go and then close. Okay, this is Matt's I don't think so, honey, times It's okay, I don't think so, honey. Welcome to Marrowin. What the fun is it? Seriously? Trailer is so unclear, Steve Carrell, It's maybe not always just a good idea to do a drama just because you get a scrimp that is a drama, is it? Barbies? I have no fucking idea. What's happening? Literally, Janemo, n I'm so happy
for your Grammy nomination. I don't think I wanted to live in seconds. I don't think so honey, hybrow culture, it's pretentious. I'm so sick of people trying to make themselves better than other people by like assigning more value to but they like them when other people like. I think that everything is a construct, especially taste, and I think that there's no value in any taste. I don't think so honey. Meeting a stupid bitch ordering food and I have to keep myself awake to receive my food.
You drunk, horror? Why do you need Indian food at two am? You dumb? A salute? I don't think, so, honey. Mean buying a pack of cigarettes last week, finally smoking, finishing it. But also I've bumped it to a lot of people, and this is the last one I will ever smoke. I will never buy another package. Segrets ever again and point in my body and truly I have one body and it is the one body I have to live in this life. Wow, you guys, we maybe
we'll do more if you want to. Fine. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Silio and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.