"Pis Sussy Cis Pussy" (w/ Patti Harrison)

their pubs and make a little pube house. I felt like, um, I felt like I was supposed to just communicate the information and like that was my role and that was my That was like where I fit in straight man. Yes, you with a straight man was in every improv scene. Guys, there's a straight man and there's the people that want to kill the birds for their pubs. Yes. And if you think that's not a seeing, that's actually happening right now on the you see the stage, you'd be wrong.

Bird pubes the new the new one go to topic. Yeah it's the new pineapple. Oh yeah, um, guys, we have a very special guest with us today. Um our friends over at story Pirates are employers, as you might even say thousands. We have nines with them, is what we're saying. UM or W is a W nine W nimes.

I'm so sorry, but we have but story parents just did their change makers benefit recently and um, they asked us to offer up an auction item which is to be able to sit in on one of our recordings and then be um attend one of our live shows for free, and we have a winner. You guys. Yes, everyone, please welcome. I hope I'm saying it right. Moser Travis Moser House. Hello, now listen. I was very gooped when I heard that someone bid on the item because did

you hear how much he did? Can you? I actually don't know. I don't want to. I don't want to because imagine if it's like five dollars, I'd be fine with that, like it goes towards a good cause. I believe I'm more than that. I will find out find out. I don't want to know. You tell them that I don't want to know. What if it's also a thousand dollars and I'd be like, no, I don't think people would be bidding that much. Will never know, but I'm

we're very happy that you're here. You've been surprised. I'm so sorry, but you're you're surprised. This was a surprise. Yeah. So basically I saw it on I think it was Matt or maybe you're. Someone tweeted it as I care about you care about people, specifically benefiting children and their education.

Everything's my support story parts where I tweeted it. Um but um, so I saw that, I think, and then I mentioned it because I was first a fan of your podcast and I got Mike to be my boyfriend of this in a couple of weeks, we'll be fifteen years. What so, because it's been so long, it's like he ignores ninety eight percent of the things I say. So I thought this would kind of go into the ether. And then, um, your relationship is older than a lot of kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a lot of children

running around. But so then I I mentioned it to him and then he kind of I thought he forget about it. And then someone he works with is somehow involved with or does you know, stop with story exactly, So like um and um so he um bid on it without telling me? And were you at the benefit? I was not at the benefits, So you didn't see my performance I did not. I'm sorry, that's okay. Oh that's so sweet of mine. So then he surprised me on a couple of days ago, like the day. I

guess it was Sunday, so I was thrilled. This is like a bizarre but I I do want to if I could just say, like, I really appreciate this podcast. An amazing guests like Pad and everybody you bring us, and I love hearing you guys your relationship and um being part of it and hilarious. You love it. You're the best. And also you've got us some you brought a very nice gift for us, some HELLI Hello Dolly

themed thank gifts and thank you for that. You're a sweet And also I've been listening to your music and I think, yes, Travis is very accomplished cabaret singer, tell us about about you, So it's very like cabaret Broadway standards type stuff. So it's not you know whatever, but

um so um. I just did a show Joe's Pub a couple of weeks ago, and then I'm doing a couple of shows out of town with Pittsburgh Cello, and then in August I'm doing Madonnathon so yeah, so that and that's a great Tickets like are on sale for you know, a couple of months or whatever. But it's an amazing fun party. Um it's we get amazing people like um, Molly Pope and a whole bunch of people and it's a really great time. So that that's coming

up at the end of the summer. And they can find your music on Spotify, Spotify, Alblem Music, iTunes, anywhere you can find music. There you go, oh my god, wait, those are some solid plugs. I might look into the Madonna. You might have to go. You might, We'll go, We'll go. I'm actually putting an auction up pirates so hopefully you can get on it fly away with joy. Um Travis, So you're going to hang out with us, Yes, that's cool, but at this time we have to ask you to

switch chairs for the day. Switch chairs of the days. Thank you, Travis, Travis. Oh my god, but these these gifts are so so wonderful, are beautiful. There's a coffee table book of Broadway of spot Co. Is it Spoco? Is it Spocco? Spots? Is the thing is you, guys, he went all the way over. If you want to sit in those chess because they're comfier you can, but also you're allowed to be right here and hanging out with But this is this is truly wild, truly amazing.

Well it's there's there's a David Sadarius word, and there's there's stuff by chip Kid, chip Kid, I can't wait, pro Lithic poster designer, and Percy's go to Broadway care is equity. Oh my god, so so great, Thank you, Travis, and now we um move on to really the reason for the season season. Oh my god, she's I mean, she's one of the return guests. She's a return guest. She's not sort of pantheon and that sort of pantheon like an I have the credits right here. Listen, writing

for High Maintenance. Currently very excited to see you can see this individual performing alongside my co host Bow and Yang at the Up Next showcase at Clusterfest. It's going to be on Sunday, June three, and that is actually going to be the night after our Cluster Freest performance on Saturday June two, because these guys are going to be um Up Next character performers. Yes, this is amazing, It's gonna be amazing. Showcase other incredible performance in there.

And also she's hosting It's a Guy Thing on May if UCB Sunset with Miss Catherine Colin. Check that out in just a few short weeks. Our favorite and I hold on, I have to let's my favorite credit hold on um, which is she looks ordinary right now? It's her star turn in that video that we all know and love titled No Stupid naive Slot tries to do the splits epic fail. It's I think it's I think it's I think it will be studied in school. Has the Instagram of the year, that's for sure. Okay, and

please Slot, let's stay together. Here we go. Stupid naive Slot tries to do the splits epic fail. I was going to introduce our guest here. Please everyone welcome stupid naive Slot. Patti Harrison, thank you so much. How are your naive? Well I'm not naive anymore. Yes, now I am a cultured, altered middle aged woman who is a slut learned from my epic fail. Oh boy, what did you used to Guy's spoiler alert it's um. She tries to do the splits and then she finds out that

she shut out blood or she's started out blood. Um, what was the what was the material for the blood? Exactly? I do want to know this. It was go job ko yeah, um it was yeah, just smeared and you know, far away, it just looks like really thick, thick blood. Yeah, blood and tissue. To see that blasted out of my ass connected. You can't use nowadays catchup for blood the film because now we have color, so you can see very much that it's not the color now now we

have color. Now we have color nowadays televisions and color. Back in the day, we used to just use you know, catchup and when we have black and white film. I miss, I really miss back in the day when things weren't so complicated. Then you go off, born in the wrong era. I was born in the wrong era. I miss back then when we the conversation, the public conversation, you know what it was about. It wasn't so dark. It's so

dark now everyone wants to talk about these things. And a lot of times it's like it's inappropriate, appropriate in front of my children, and they're rubbing it in my children's face. Back in the day, you when you opened up your phone, you can see abbreviation. No. Let me tell you something. I don't care if you're different or what. Just don't bring it into my kids school. I don't care if your purple, if you're gray, if you're a B, C, D, E, F G if. I don't care if you're a cup

of piss. I don't care if you're a couple of pis. Don't bring that into my familyhood. Don't bring that into my family. I have to say something that's really scary that has shocked me off. My phone used to be in black and white, and then it updated and now and now it's color. Wait, I'm actually teared up because you guess you have a color phone? Exactly right? Can we talk about this. We have a friend who remember this.

He showed us his phone. It was all unplack and white and apparently it's supposed to make you less addicted. This is true. This is something that we did here. It's like he black and whited his phone out so that he feels less like addicted to the screen. Because we are addicted to our screens, each and every one of us. Is it? Because you're your bang bus videos and black and white now and you can't see all the hues of the of the of the seat belt. Yeah,

of the seat belt. That's what I'm guess I'm getting off on. Let me see the color of these seat belts on my beat bus? Is it? Bang bus is the straight when bait bus is the game. I believe bab bus is the straight one because they bait the Yes, Travis is confirming. Okay, but I have to say and we can talk about this. Um, I'm allowing ourselves to have I'm giving ourselves permission to talk about Oh and the first thing you have to do is just give

yourself the permission. It's actually rule of culture number forty four. Give yourself permission to talk about bait bas talk about the acting is very good. I love it so convincing. They seem shocks and then so willing to fucking ask. Yeah, it's really it is really like get it's just frustrating when you're watching other porn and then you're like, oh, your mindsner showing h Yeah. I hate when it seems like they're acting. It's like okay, still, okay, Stoslavski. You know, imagine,

imagine a dick in my ass. I can feel the lemon in my but and sometimes kabuki or no theater training is sometimes sometimes actually truly did now now here? Let's go around the table. Who has formal acting training? Oh? Not me? Not me, Travis, you have formal acting training? Guests? Who has formal acting training? H In fact, I've actually seen HPJ act and it's a powerful experience. And actually, like we used to do um Volcano Town, we did, yes were you would well here? No, no, no. I

was never Joe and I were. Joe directed and was also in it. But Joe was as a very good actor and a fantastic director. He and Alex actually are really really good theatrical director. Wow. Little known fact about HPJ. What kind of what kind of productions? What kind of Well that was like a heightened sort of like comedic sci fi soap opera actually episodic. Lie loved it, Thank you.

Comedic sci fi soap opera. That sounds bad. It sounds like like, remember, okay, so I'm gonna mention this, she's kidding, She's kidding. Also, but you know what's cool about it? It was it ran for a year and every month was a different episode of the show, so it ended up being a twelve part installment. Yeah, it was actually really cool. Three full my character. I think I was in three episodes, Like what was that in my character? Pop TV? It was lux offer. I was the lord

of the mountain. Yeah, because I'm very powerful, um performer. I clocked that. I Well, I clocked something about you like evokes mountains. Yeah, I think so. I feel like, well, can I tell you something in Emokemo mountains? God so stupid When you go up the mountain, it's harder to breathe. Yeah, you need someone with very big lungs to play a part of someone who's going to be on top of a mountain. Okay, well without formal acting actors training, show

us what that looks like. Would you like to see? Look how open I am when I make this sound is for those who can't see what's going on. Loosening up his shoulders, he's just his head's tossed back, big grin, his asses out, his asses out. Oh my god, Oh my god, oh my god, there's there's and now in his jeans they pulled themselves back up. His ass is no longer as he sung his pants. He sung his ass out of his pants and then back on back

into his pants. Wait, there's blood dripping out of your pant Oh no, oh no, out of out of your are dungarees. He's a blood pool of blood, black blood, blood, dark blood. It means it's from your liver, right your kidney. Can I taste this? It grows? It is? Oh it? Can I tell you guys something? It's already filthy secret. But I would never tell anyone else but you guys. That what I just saying was the note from Sex on Fire, That Sex on Fire, right, that video? I have a vo x of a god. Oh my god?

What is what do we thinkings of Leon is doing right now? Probably five different things because five different people, you idiots? Okay, I don't know. I just mean even collectively, just like, what's the best descriptor for what they are each doing, Patty? They are each separately networking with hives of teen models at at a pop up event for like, I don't know, a denim phone case. It's like this

pop up event for this new Denom phone case. And then there's just like all these team models there with like cocktails and then the band. But have you've been spending time in l a? Can you smell the tea? Do you enjoy it or do you want to come back very bad? Okay, here's the thing. I love it. I love it. I really like it. It's very you know people. Okay, So the most born conversation you can have about l A is that the weather is nice.

And so that's what I'm about to talk to you guys about for the next It is really really nice. It's really nice. I know, I know. I just feel like such a New Yorker that I don't know if I could ever go. But it changes everything everything when you wake up, when you like how you feel. I don't know. Someone told me, uh, someone told me that New York, the hustle of New York is what makes your art good. The stress and depression is what makes

your art good. So if you go to l A too soon, you'll be happy, but your creativity will die. But so you feel like you already at the peak. You could not get any better. You feel like you are the most cultivated version of yourself, articipating communically, and therefore you there's just so much better than us. So you can just go out to l A and sell yourself. That's what you're thinking, man, I don't believe that at all.

I actually think I'm doing a bad job. And the thing is is, I don't know if I want to get better. I don't know if I want to get better. I think I want to stay bad. I want to get worse, stay bad. I want to stay bad, stay bad. You're doing great. I feel like, uh, it's I do. I am sure that there's truth to that, Like, you know, being around so many people who are like, you know, yeah, really like everyone like clawing in that l a is very like breezy, and you become more relaxed and maybe

you lose perspective a little bit. Sure, but uh, you know, it's it's warm. There's little lizards running everywhere. That's a huge they have those in Florida. What kind of lizards? But I think, did you size? I started to say small ones and then I said tiny ones? I ended up things. When something is small and signy, what about something is small and tiny? What about what what if something is huge and big? The booge? Oh they are she had them booge and that's so yes. She had

a yes say it, patty. She has titties and its sign thank you Gosh. That tea's a disgusting coming out of my mouth signing ass front runner for you guessed it? Title of that. Okay, So then what what if you untrained actors? What's the script or for her siss pussy for her for her ciss pussy? If you untrained actors? Okay, you're an untrained actor, but I thought you are an actor. So my assignment to you right now, at this moment is to describe this person who has bush titties and

signy as what their siss pussy looks like. But the subtext is is that your boyfriend just fell down a mountain and he's in the hospital, but there's no more news from that because you're not allowed to be in the room because you're not family. So you're I'm describing someone else's her his person with the booge titties and the signy as. No, it's not anybody connection to you. It's just this person. And separately outside of that, your

emotional state right now is your boyfriend just my boyfriend? Yes, and you don't know, you don't know if he's okay or not. You can't have more information at the time. Now, describe the cis pussy, Okay, Well, I just want to set this up so I'm just gonna provide context. Um, okay, so here we go. Oh, she's got that booge than booge titties, that signy ass and that pistis says pussy pistol. Seisus pussy pussy pussy. It sounds like a human took me. What is that? That? That is a mudhah Hagen. That's

Udagan sussy sis pussy susy sis pussy. I love your excuse me, it's bully. He's my favorite song, stand up fights back. I don't know what to talking about. We have to talk about Patty Harrison's run gay as on her ancestory months ago. She has a bunch of if you don't follow party Harderson, you should do that, because you should just do that. Familiarize yourself. Pause this come back. Oh my god, I am crying. I am crying about

Patty hat. Patty had a song that was called the Queer is Beautiful and I wait, can I just can I cover it right now? Cover it? That's so much honor as an artist to have your song. Yes, absolutely, here we go. Who you always beautiful? Being queer? Queer is beautiful? Yes queer. I don't think that's roughly, that's queer. You also did like her face good, you were you were in character fully really you embodied Patty. That that's mysner.

I think you have to because my face contorts around the nose to do that, and you did it, and you sing it in a better key. No, but I don't. I don't bring it to that same register. Um with that usual, that's that's straight. Yes, it's queer. I think I think it's the same. It's clear. I don't think there's a different Patty my assignment to you. And this is just offline. This is just on your own time. We need a pisto seesis pussy song. I don't know.

I think I'm not. I'm not. Like. My favorite song that you ever did was you perform this live and that I never saw you do it again? Was do you want to see my ass? Do you want to see a pick of my asshole? Well? I so many. And the thing is is I'm not allowed to make music legally because of a sex crime that I did to Jimmy Iveen. But you, Jimmy I the president of the under scope. Um, okay, but you own up to

the sexual crime. Yes, what it was? It it was Okay, so I actually, how did you attack this vulnerable white man contractually? It's so if anything that I say technically legally about it is retaliation, consider retaliation. But I will say is that, um I I bottomed his entire torso consensually, and I made him come too good and then and he got mad because he's like, you know, I hate

when the coming is good. And then he dropped me from the label and just like just like fucking burned my career, potterized it even Yeah, oh my god, just like just just bled you dry. Yeah, truly, I'm not allowed to make music anymore. Okay, Well it sucks your respect, It sucks. It sucks mostly for us, the listeners. I was I wanted to ask, and if you're not at liberty to talk about this, that's fine. Um And I'm sorry, Uh what what? What? What is the songwriting process for Patty?

And I I'm even half genuinely asking this, um So, I think a lot of times it's I hear a song, and I hear a song like that's playing, you know, over the radio at the store, in a car, and then I just steal whatever its bit about that song, and then you don't have to talk down to us. Um, I have a lot of I I really think it's funny. Uh when a song has a bad point of view.

So whoever sings in a song, if they have like a really bad point of view and they really um if if if there's just a song that was like the the the the the the, the, let me hit my kids please, It's like someone asks me for a permission to hit their kids. They haven't done it yet, They're going to do it, they want to do it, and they're they're they're just asking the general problem. I realized now that that was that was I just lifted the melody of that what's that song? And that makes

me hiving? And that's what takes me. Oh my god, what is this? I feel the beat in the group next, Yes, I love the song. Just my kid please? And then the police as well, is what sort of keeps it driving? I love it. I love that. Oh my godet this year, better vote this year. There's nobody good who's running. There's nobody good who's run. It would take a lot of time to get to the ballot. Who cares? Who could

benefit from your vote? We just a brainstorm. We deserve an idea logical match in Canada and idea logical mats. Thank you, hey, this is this is why, this is what I need. I need some some workshop environment I don't have. Here's one. Can you just um slide into like is a beautiful man with the trump? Is a beautiful man with the football? Troup Brian, God what I said? And it's grand and bigg All of the blood and Math's body is in his face right now, all of

it's in his head. But here's the thing, and I want to consult Travis on this as well, so everyone hears a recording artist, Yes, when you can make the sound, you do it no matter what it hurts your body. Travis agrees, Yeah, And sometimes I hurt myself trying to make noises. I know I can't make like what Marita Karry whistle tone. Patty is dead in the eyes when she that's my no wait you hear you hear this

really cool noise I can make that. It's it's basically, I just vibrate my throat so hard that the tissue in the back comes loose, and it like it comes it like I can. I can spit it out later, just like tissue now that's that's a whistle. Though, when do we become a shock jock today, bitch? Since today your fault, Travis Travis brought this energy into here with his gifts. Travis. Travis famously did not get me a gift. Travis,

we will rectify this in some way. And I'm saying we, the three of us, Me, Matt, and Travis, tell me out. So I really do I have a complex about gifts because when I was little, gifts, gifts, gifts. Now with the tea, you always have to make that distinction. Now, I want to listen to this getting gifts because I when I was little, my sister and my older sisters or my mom. Uh if I had older sisters and then I had one sister, there was an age gap.

So like all of my sisters were teens except for one who was like two years older than me, so she was a kid when I was a kid. Everyone else for teenagers and they would get us gifts together, Like on my birthday, my sister would get gifts, and then on my on my sister's birthday, I would get gifts every year because if I saw her getting gifts and I didn't get gifts, I would have a meltdown understood, and see I never learned that, Travis, I never learned that.

And what happened today is that Bowen got an amazing gift. Matt got an incredible gift. I did not. I didn't see the gifts. What happened today was one of the most disgusting displays of nepotism, Yes, nepotism and favor currying, and we were all dancing around it. What happened today was clearly I'm invisible in this room, so I have to talk twice as loud to get half the attention. I think three times as fast, and I think very fast. Wait, is this thing true about growing up? Oh? The gift

things true? But I I know it's like I mean, I understand why I didn't get a gift. I will do self harm later because of it. But like, stop doing self harm. No, no, no, stop stop announcing that you will do self harm. Do self harm, stop announcing it. Thank you for the permission, Thank you for the permission. Oh no, we already said this. Yes, I know, I'm just I'm referencing it. Of course. Of course, speaking of self harm, did you see the trailer for the new

HBO limited series Sharp Objects. Oh, it's a another Gillian Flynn novel Amy. It's directed by Jean marc Veli, who directed Big Little. So this is a prestige HBO limited series event that's happened to have. It produced from a producer from Get Out Yes, starring Amy Adams and Patricia Clarkson. Oh, Patricia, Miss Patricia the original Clarkson. We love Patricia, We love Patricia.

And it's it's about like Amy Adams is like a very dark past and she has like a history of cell pharm but she's also like very very obsessed with like solving the murders of like young kids. So that sounds like really fun. Okay, okay, it sounds like a light watch. Well you um, you you did read Gone Girl. It's one of the few books you've read. And are you excited? Can you believe what he just said to me? Can anyone believe the audacity? Are you excited to embark

again on? Gillian Flynn? Do you believe that I could read a book? I've bought you many books as you bought me a book? I did you bought me a book recently? Wait? What are you guys hear that? What Okay, sorry, this is really is that another bird? Okay? I have no idea what's going on? And it's good. Are they going to be able to hear that on the pod? I hope. So it was like this good double double, this busy susy suzy. It's like a Bavarian dance. I

love it. It's fun. There's so many See this is when I'm trying to the point I'm trying to make music is all around. Well, that's the thing is when you brought up sharp objects, I didn't. I thought what came in to mind to me was box, a box of sharp objects by the used. How does that one go? You take a pill to feel better? Oh my god, nothing else matters. John's feels stronger. Eat sharper box. Oh sharp bump jacks. What a beautiful whistle tone. I actually

consume Mariah whistle tone. Guys, we're redefining whistle tones. That is reclaim. But this is all about this is this is music positivity. This is vocal positivity. Anybody any voices valid. I love vocal positivity. Any voice is valid. No I like a skinny voice. No I like a thin voice. I like a thin, thin smell. Waist on the voice, A little tiny but beautiful hips wide hips tiny waist perfect. It's perfect natural tips o wine hips, natural wists perfect,

little perfect. That's my voice. This is this is a musical episode. The earth is fertile with music, Impregnate it with at your will? Do you believe that Travis believes that Patty he makes legit music? Though it's true we're all doing not to say that we're not all making legit music, but it's just something a little bit different, right, Um, I mean, I mean we're I was saying, we're all dilatans. We're all I mean, we're all dabbling. We're not what

is what is like? You're you're an amateur. You're just you're just sort of like posturing as someone who's doing something instead of being the actual thing. But I do believe that of us all sitting here, Patty is the closest to being a pop star. And therefore I do want to ask you a certain question, which is, if you had all the money in the world as the pop star that is Patty, what does your concert look like? How does this start? Like? Who comes out? Like? What

is there a story? Like? What kind of fantastic esthetic elements are we happening? Like if you could do a world toar like the Night Tour or like formation, like what is the Patty Tour? So my tour would um be called Well, let's not start there, Okay, let's actually say that it would be an audio visual experience. There would be you know, there would be pre filmed things that and there will be huge screens and there would be lights, lights that would come up. So the so

the concert is about to start. Imagine concerts about to start. Everyone's just like, there's what a stadium, it's like fifty people, and then and then the lights go out and everyone's like and then yeah, and then some lights come on, and then the screen comes on too, and then I come out and then music is playing. Oh my god, there's so much music playing. Everyone's dancing and screaming. I

come out. Dancers come out. They're dancing too. They're like they're all they're doing the routine we we painstakingly, painstakingly practice. I come out. I start singing a medley of my original my hits from my first album, and it's like a medley, yes, that, but it's like in the key of another one of my hits and the all in the same key because it sets you up for the next song that you're going into in the medley. Yeah,

it's and this is like an amazing medley. Then my outfit also, by the way, looks beautiful to describe it. Everyone is like people are taking pictures of it. People are taking people of thousands of people have their are people describing your outfit as like, yes, gag, say a gag. People are saying gags. Well, one person actually is screaming a slur. Just's like one person out there over all the screams of adoration. I can kind of hear one slur and I'm like, I think i know what they're

saying it. I think it's a slur and that I'm like, I'm not trying to focus too much on it. So I'm like, I'm like focusing on and again, my choreography is slightly less intense than the dancers. I can fully focus on dancing and I need time to kind of vamp and like can stop the points here and there and be like and then I point, and I'm like

and I stopped and there. There's also I'm not lip sinking, but there is a vocal bag that has the chorus on it and the really yeah and people are like ah, and then I hear I hear like in the distance, I hear like you're like and I'm like, wait, not only did I hear a slur, but I think I recognized the voice of it, and I'm so I'm like, we're going into my first My first song is actually one off the new album, and it's like it's it's a song that's got fast and then so it's like yeah,

and then it's like images, there's images that correspond with the song. So the song is actually at about moving on and then so that's going on and then a spotlight h not planned a spotlight. I'm like, what is going on? A spotlight goes the crowd. Guess who is in the crowd? De general? That was it. That really was because we talked about her last time and she's erect she's how big is her? It's seventeen this time? This time? Yeah, she did something. She got like sheen implant,

she connect pnect. Pennect was to remove the penis, but she got a peno implant. She got a penectomy and then got her penis removed and then got a peno plasty and African rhino horn in the place. So actually when I sit at with seventeen inches, it's actually closer to four and a half feet long. And she's landing my fans just like an sing my fans in the crowd like oh, there's like a stack of my fans. I'm so sad, I'm crying on stage. I'm like, stop the music. But they turned my mic off because she

did so. She talked to the tech people, she talked to the powerful. That's when I realized that she talked to the tech people ahead of time, and that is not That was like, oh my god, it's still the music. This is bigger than And then there's a part in the music where all the percussion drops and it's just like it's like it's like this arpeggio of like harp. It's a beautiful part of the song. And I'm like, Ellen,

get out of here. And she comes up on stage does a flip with still about six of my fans stacked on her horn, does a flip. The centrifugal force of the flip flings the fans at me off of like, and she's about she's flipping probably like twenty ft up in the air, so it's like she can get that high. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's like a fool and it's like it's a really fast rotation, right, but all the fans, the fans have come towards you. They smack into me, knocked

me down in my big platform. She's breaking embarrassing embarrassing concert. Yeah. Jennifer Bowman, who's our costumer, she's like made those shoes herself, like special and so, huh did she get out of the arena? Jenna for Bowman doesn't come to my shows because we have a bad relationshow so then so that's the whole thing. And then um so then by that time you're knocked out and the fans, I guess are long dead by now, yeah, at least like six and

maybe something that got injured. And they're like they're all mad. They're like, this is not what we came here to see. So now I'm here to see petty Man. But at this point they've all turned because they're mad, and they're all saying, Tranny, oh, Nonny, you tranny, and I said stop it, stop it. And then that's when Ellen turns to me and guess what she fucking says what guess what she says? She says, you are a bit and

my heartbreaks because I believe it. And it's Ellen. It's Ellen, and hero of mine in that moment, like she's gotten every wants to turn on you. They obviously have taken sides to her, even though they've killed probably some of the people that they know. Yeah, they start killing. I mean, the fans are so mad, screaming tranny. They start killing each other, killing each other. But just so you know, just so you know, at the at my tours, all my fans are siss because I won't let trans people.

I don't like trans people. I'm a tur and it's a it's turf's only, Yeah, turfs only for them who aren't with it all. And they're all straight, beautiful, straight beautiful, Yeah, straight beautiful. They're saying tranny. But also Ellen, I remember originated the pronunciation trawny tronni yes with with an H and two ends the r O N N E. And she's like, hey, you know why I say it that way?

And then I was like, oh why Ellen, This night couldn't get any worse, And she's like, because it's a play on pronunciation, of the Vietnamese language, because I know you're Vietnamese. To you, Tranni just just cuts deeper, twist the knife. She fucking she fucking puts that knife. She screw drive, electric screwdriver. She's more than just twisting the knife. I am. Yeah, Yeah, she really went there. That's a went there, and that's a gorgeous tour. And that is

literally just Stockholm where the tour starts. That's literally just the first leg of the tour. And talk about why Stockholm? Why is that meaningful? Rich culture, a lot of amazing art. Their government, like the government in Sweden, it's just like really progressive socially, you know, the access to healthcare, the way people like treat each other, even um predominantly white blonde. Yes, yes, it's it's a sort of easier when and a lot

of amazing pop comes out of Scandinavia. But see the thing about Sweden and the thing that it's it's just it's a great case study in a homogenizing people to more easily governed and more easily socialized and provide access. If the people look at the same, it's easier. Yeah. Absolutely, Once you all look the same, then you all act the same, then you all buy tickets to the same concert.

It's beautiful. That's a really good economy model. I disagree, Okay, but you're you're still like everything I set up until this point would I was setting up that you would say that, so I would agree, and then I changed my mind in real time. Okay. And that's what people come to expect from my shows. Yeah, that they're going to expect to like, except, for example, get through it and live. Yeah, yeah, that might not be the case. Well, that's why they turned on each other and the tours

called sis Heats Only Radical Beautiful. Yeah, it's called Beautiful Turfs Colon sis heads only, uh, Colon uh. Dharma and Greg live for One Night Over Me and they're they're they're the actors who played Jarman and Gregg are there? God? And yeah? Scientologists famous scientologists and I'm and I'm giving I give her like a twenty minute platform in the middle of show just to talk about scientology. And she's like really charismatic about it because she's like, I know,

it's so crazy, you guys, I think I'm crazy. Yeah, it really is, a lot of it's so stupid, right, like really learning people in with that disarming disarming. Yeah, she's like, you know what what might be fun? What if you just like took some friends and you went to like the Church of Scientology as a joke, because the doors are always open. You should see how like crazy stupid some of the decoration is. It's so gaudy

and everyone's like, ha ha, that's so funny. But it's like under the guys of like, oh yeah, I come see how stupid this thing is. And then but it's fifty people and like they're gonna go, and they all go, and how many of them fall for it? How many of them? Did you? Did you not hear me? Are you? I said, they all all of them? But I know

all of them go? But how many stay? How many signs on the dotted line when it comes to push comes to shove, Well, when push comes to shove, jokes on you, bitch, They were all already scientilog just because it's also a scientilogists only only beautiful turenceologists who are also turfs ciss head. It's called beauty turfs colin Um. Only calling Darmer and Greg live when I only call in seems can I say something? It seems like if you wanted to touch more people with your music, you

would open it up to more people. Yeah, you have a very niche fan base right now, and almost no one knows that you even are a pop star. Yeah, you know, and it would seem that way. It really seems that way. I know. It also seems that I'm making this up and I am actually Do you hear that? Yeah, it's like a truck backing up. Yeah, that's the sound of my brain back pedaling. Oh wait, you're you're gonna, You're gonna. I'm gonna change the name of the show, Patty,

you can't do this. It's gonna be called on the c W. I'm and Barberagene comes out. I love Barbage really, so beautiful, funny, talented, so funny, so talented, comedic timing. Here's what I'll here's what I'm gonna say. I bet your ass actually really watched Reba. I bet you love it. I bet right before dinner you watch Reba and then what I like about starring Amanda Bin I guarantee you watch shut up, shut up, you fucking bitch, fuck you shut up, shut up? Now you fuck you you shut up. No,

I did not, Yeah, I did watch Rebo. Okay, so yeah, I didn't watch it. Okay, it was on the TV when I came home from school. Sometimes what was that? What else it was on that block? It was Reba? It was Reba? What I like about you? And then I believe the hope in faith is ABC yethen no on the you know what? Maybe then they sorted over their dramas and it was like ever one time? Oh sure, did you ever watch un Touched by an Angel? Yes? I love me some Roma. Do you ever get that

you look like Roma Downey? Do I ever? Never in my life? Do you think that's true? Because I would ask you the same thing. I've heard it every day each day. I can see the way your eyes are glossed, you sucking ling. Who did they say you look like? Because I know who I think you look like? Um? This is I have. I've been told that I look like Um. I get the actor who plays Winnie Cooper as a child mckeller. Yeah, I feel like I look

like her. If someone put like Buffy the Vampire Slayer prosthetics makeup on my face where like when they transformed they have those like big brow ridges and like all bony. It's like yeah, maybe if her face exploded from the inside and her bones exploded, but her skin caught all of it so it didn't exit the skin, then I'll take that is what I need from Patty. That's what I need from Patty. It's actually not a debate, per se. Okay, we need Patty to do an impression of Nicole Scherzinger

taking herself seriously singing. Oh that's I feel like we're putting around the spot. Not right now, I'm staying down the road in your career. Do you mean like when she sings Andrew Lloyd Weber standards from like Cats or Avida. But we'll get a Froe stage in a beautiful gown? What was the song where the all the men are singing around here like she's beautiful. She's doing the notes from Phantom of the Opera and they're like sing to me. She's like, you know the video we're talking about, and

there's all the smoke. Yeah, wait, where was it you and Joel that was watching that in l A and you posted you posted it? Yeah, I was on my Instagram. Sorry, but I wasn't with Joel. Yes, I remember, and I was just like I wanted to I wanted to be like, that's you. Oh my god, whistle Town. Hey watch this pushing on my buttons? Baby, pushing funds. I thought it was pushing up my button. I want you. I'm telling you to loosen pushing pusends, bab, push push, It's like

pus buttoned, babe? Why do you keep for running me? Wow? Say what you're gonna do to me? Wait? We have to talk about something with Patty that it's been like for some reason of recurring theme in recent episodes. You saw Cats with Sudi that one time in Metro? Right, yeah, what are your thoughts on Cats? Why? Why do you guys even? Okay, So here's the thing. Uh we got we were at dinner. I've never seen it or not.

We were at dinner. We were at lunch and Metro was like, my mom got me and my sister tickets to see catsut was like, it's really funny, it's really dumb. You should see it in SUITI with like, I'll get tickets right now. We should like eat edibles and go, and I was like, okay, I will. Seems dumb enough. Um, I think Cats is the only only musical I've seen on Broadway. Okay, it's the only thing I've seen on Broadway. I guess, Um, it is the anniest thing I've ever

seen in my life. It really was one of the best nights of my life. I laughed so deeply in the moment. Yeah it was, and I was high, but it was. It was nearly you know, it's nearly seventeen hours long. Uh. There are over three and a half million characters. Each one gets their own song. They either sing about themselves or another cat they adore in their community. Um, there is a villain. There is a villain. They a cat that they sing about for about seven and a

half hours. You never see him that he's this villain, he's evil. They sing about him. He comes out, he does this really gay damn He chokes one cat who lives, and then he runs away and you never see him again. And then they vote an old cat in the heaven and she floats through the ceiling of the theater. And uh, it's just like at one point the cats come together and make a train. They make up and not like

they make a train, like they're lined up. Their bodies come together and they form the shape of a train. Talk about the scene memory the song beautiful song Memory. So I thought I was laughing so hard, just because this musical is, you know, the most insane, like brilliant over use of resources, Like it's the most brilliant waste of resources. Every dancer is. They're all tense, they have perfect bodies, they're all like like doing all these front

walkovers and the splits. Every single one of them can drop into the splits immediately. And I was laughing so hard. And then Memory, when Memory came on, I did get quiet and I teared up. Oh my god, it's a beautiful song. Any So any song, I have to say, if any song where the first chorus is in a lower octave and then the second chorus they like bump it up, it's always very powerful to me. So that happens in that song, very cheap in a cheap way, and made me cry cheap but still earned um. Because

you had a sustained obsession with the Jelical cats. You might still you might still have this. But I remember there was a period of time when I would get text from you, or you would post photos on Instagram of like a Jelical cat jumping, or you you posted tweeting a picture of a jelical cat and like capturing it with like me catching other people's come like you you are you have like you? This affected you? It really did. I think. I think the meter of jelical

songs for jelical cats is the like best comedy. It's like jellical, jellica, jelical, jelical, jelica can and jelical. We got just sing that for a sketch on Mad when I was on Mad like a two years ago and they were trying to explain like the pattern of the song. I'm like, this is fucking unsingable. How do people know it? And it's like there's nine key changes, it just keeps going up and up. It's it's like the what if the baby ants? Are you of our generation? I want

to turn? Have you ever performed Cats musical theater? That production of Cats? Wow? Okay, so yes, but this is nothing. But there's nothing but a ringing endorsement. This is a beautiful endorsement. Yes, you get an amazing time, But I will physically attack each and every person who was cast in that musical because you want to because their tens. I know why why do you want to attack them? Because I'm a ten? And when I see other tens, you got to get rid of them. There's no So,

how do you feel about us? You don't think that we're times? You don't feel there an by us? No, we're not times, we're not ts. You both combined are like a hard one together. Combined you are a one, and we're both integers. You're in you on the ten scale. I'm an integer. That doesn't feel good? Fine, now I can I agree we're we combined our one? Fine? Fine, Hey, but you know one's get fucked. You know what you know? How you know? Because pigeons are ones on the ten scale,

and there's pigeons everywhere. Fine? Fine, Do you feel that living in l A hasn't made you a selfish, self induligent, naive, naive, Hollywood hungry, power hungry, social climbing motherfuck Ris, motherfuck Ris? Or are you still the innocent lamb that we knew? So? I want to let you in on a little secret. When I was born. When I was born, my mom was in labor. I was birthed vaginally. My mom is

sis and pieces sis pussy. Uh my mom was giving birth to me and um the it I had breached at one point so that was scary for a little bit. It was a longer birth than they planned anyways. Um, so they were delivering me and at like as the doctor they got me unbreached, which was incredible, like it's

like a great thing. And as they're pulling as they're delivering me, um, they might they said that my eyes were open as I came out, which is like insane because usually it takes time for your eyes open, but my eyes were open. And as they were delivering me, I said, I haven't seen you in so long. We should get coffee. Are you around? What's your schedule like next week? We should get coffee and and uh, yeah,

I really mean it. I know. I know, let's just like not make it like a big thing, but like if you're around, you can just text me and uh And the doctor was like you feel climby especially, so no, I really mean it. Let's get let's Oh my gosh, there's where What are your like spots? What are you like spots? I don't have spots yet because I'm new to town, but if you have some spots that you love.

I love tapas. I came out. I love tapas. Um. But I do think I think if anything, l A has made me more earnest really and this is this is, this is real, and you know this podcast would denote that because you two are evil slime and draw that out of me, make me evil slime. I'm kidding. I love you, I'm earnest. I love you, We love you, We love you, love you. Do you know? Do you know? We just had to like earnestly interview some people we didn't trybeca film festival. Yeah, okay, how do you feel

about this? We interviewed Paras Hilton. Oh what wait? Okay? I was I think, Patty, I want to know your Paras Hilton insights. What are the things that you think about her? Because according to her, there are a lot of misconceptions about her. I think that the I don't

remember the second season a lot. I thought The Simple Life was very funny, very funny that maybe you know that is I'm saying that as someone who saw it when it came out, and I haven't revisited anything other than a couple of clips, and so I'm sure there's stuff in it now it's like, but that being said, which and I also think it maybe that show was really funny because of Nicole Ritchie maybe more. But um, I mean I think stars are blind. Is you know great?

I think, uh, she she is. Probably it seems like in her career she has she was born evil and then became self aware that she was evil, and now she's like kind of self deprecating in the way that an evil person can. I know exactly what you mean, I would say that, Well, all I know is I really hadn't thought of that her in so many years, to be honestly that I know. She's extremely famous with

the people that she's famous with. She's got like ten million followers on Instagram, She's got like this whole billion dollar empire. She's internationally like booking DJ spots, Like she's like extreme, really famous with the people that care. Yeah, but I hadn't thought about her in years, and so I kind of didn't know what to expect when she

came in. But she came in, and she was Paris Paris, and the first thing she did was how I guess, which I thought when she was the only one that we interviewed the whole weekend, that the first thing she did was come over and give us. I think that is so ingrained after years of like having to meet a million different strangers, and it's like, in a way, I think in terms of press like it is a I'm convinced it's like a disarming tactic. Like it's like

I'm it's like, look how nice I am. Like I've got this horde of pr people behind me, Like, well, what would you what would be an authentic I don't know reaction that she could have to you that I kind of thought it was authentic because the thing is, it seemed like she came in it was being ourselves. I mean. The thing is when I say she came in and she was Paras Hilton, I don't mean she came in and she was a nightmare. What I mean

is she was not a nightmare at all. Came in and was like really kind of a nice version of what you think Paris it would. She came in, she said matching Blazers loves it, and she said like all the Paras Hilton lines. And then she and it was like it was warm in the room because of the lamps, and she was like she's like, it's so hot in here. We were like, yeah, we know, which we had been talking about all day. It was hot and that's hot,

and then like kind of get going. Yeah yeah yeah, but like and like then she went in the bathroom, got ready, came back out and we had like a good interview with her. She was no, she was she was great. She was great. It's just it's like, you know, so many little contours around her fame and around how she moves like navigates any space. Yeah, I don't know. She was the last interview. We did it the whole weegn.

I think it was good. She was last, but she obviously was like the most famous person we talked to. But then after having done it, like it was a good experience. We also sang her song with her, sang nothing remember nothing in this world, nothing can stop us tonight I can do what she can do so much better. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, I remember it because of what she just did. Thank you. UM know, this is what this is what I think? What what were you going to say?

This is who I think Patty would be excited about, because we quoted bringing On in her last episode. We talked, oh my god, round up that spring step out, had step out? What is it backtuck half springing layout or something like that. I don't remember the whole thing that I just remember, your school has no gymnastics team. That was the last reader I transferred from Los Angeles. Your school has such gymnastics team. This is the last resort.

Oh my god, fucking roasted that dumb little cunt, roasted her cunt, her little assist um. And she has not aged a day, not a day. Anyway. She's smoking, She's absolutely smoking. What what did you guys? What was a surprising about that? Didn't she like surprise she was she she was producing a movie about Robert. Robert Mapplethorpe. He's a party's like like an eighties photographer in New York

lower side photographer in the late eighties. He actually passed away and maybe seventies, but he took a lot of he took photos of the New York underground. D S. M. Very famous photographer. And I think her brother, Nate is um in the gay community, and I think that like it was obviously important to him. Maybe he brought it to her and like she's helped like it and become a thing that was like kind of I think the idea.

But it seemed like they were super close to the project and they were having the after party for the Tribeca premier at the Eagle was in New York at like, what is that the big gay leather bar franchise around the world, but like every big city has an Eagle. It's like the Javis is nodding that he knows of the Eagle go to leather bar. But it was cute,

like they were just they were very like. They were just very like they were there to talk about a queer project, and it was just you felt that openness and that difference and all and Allies asked for a picture after, which which was just like a truly starstruck thing, not because not because she wanted a picture with us, because she was like, oh, let's take a picture. It was like fun. It wasn't like I need a picture with know. She was like, like we cut we like

it was a great interview. We caut they haven't posted it but wet. And then she was like, um, oh my god, that was so fun. Can we take a picture? And I was like, oh yeah, she was. She was great, like I've never had a picture with Integers before. We did one person, well two people that give us son of a salty vibe. Do you want to say I won't say who. I don't I will not say I don't want you to. I will not say who the guess what. I know who it was, And I'm going

to put them on less right now. It was um It was not telling you it was it was it was. It was what it was Nina from tech in and Yo she Mitsu second and Maria's Marie Osmond. It was Nina from Teken, Marie, Marie Osmond, and Yoshi Mets from tech Stole Calibra slash Shule Caliber Important and they were all they were all really nasty. They came in all together for a project they're doing called Umu Who's Talking?

Three Look, He's talking talking? Remember Luk Who's Talking? Actually has nothing to do with Teken and they're really trying to break away from the town, and Marie Osmond is trying to break away from you know, singing and dancing and dancing with the stars and put home with her brother and stuff like that. So they're actually doing a third movie of Luke Who's Talking, um yeah, with you know the movie with Kirstiality and John Travolta and the Baby.

But the thing about John Travolta and Kirsty Alley is there, you know, kind of both going through hard times. So they're not going to do it, and so Marie osmond Yoshi from tech In and they meet. Did you ever play Debt or Alive? I loved it. All of the women were fucking like just looked crazy. You could my dick all off. O, my diick fell off. Oh, this conversation made my dick fall off. Stop. The chips are big there. You could go into the settings and make

the boobs jiggling. You could not. There was boob jiggle settings in this video game. And like the later like Dead or Life Too Deader Life three. What do you think about that patriarchy? Huh patriarchy? What is that where it's so it's um just like the sort of trying of balloon pops when it gets too high in the air. It's when it's when what's when tis jiggle and my dick doesn't get hard enough? You know, I actually don't. I actually don't think it is the patriarch. I think

it is. I think it's a woman's choice if she wants to be a six ft tall, fourteen year old one hundred pounds ninja with seven pound TETs. Yeah, like like no discernible scale to measure them, yet they're so big. Uh yeah, why not? We don't know. We don't know real in real ninja. We don't. We don't. We don't know real and we don't know what they look like. We don't know who they are, we don't know what they're all about. That's true. Um, is it time to

get into our new segment. It's time. It's time to get into And by the way, someone left a review saying that they hated this segment. Well, guess what, we're gonna keep doing it. Someone we can't blast a drag cock. They left it. They left a nice, a nice review, but they said caveat. Um. I love last culture is just but I do not like this voice memo segment.

But hey, but we're gonna keep doing it because I feel that this last week's was really good, and the week prior to that was really good, and the week prior to that was really good. And oh wait, I think all of them have been good, so you can just, you know, give it a chance. We're trying something new. And today's voicemam oh you bitch comes to us actually from Friends of the Show, guy Brandam, So let's see what Guy has to say. I have not heard that.

I have not heard it either. Here we go, Oh hey, Bowen and that it's Guy Branda. I'm your old friend. UM, just calling to say hey, and how uncomfortable I am made by the sheer number of times since Nathan Lee Graham I think that's his name that you guys have said this is the best show ever. Um that really, you know, I think steps on the legacy of those of us who really you know, UM built lost culturestus the best newels of the world. Ums like with her them?

What about the Marshall Bell's case? What about the guy's brand? Um? Also, hello to Patty. Patty, unlike your voicemail from a couple of weeks ago, I'm not going to be doing a fun little skit where I prevaricate, um to sort of like emphasize the ridiculousness of of of what I'm saying. My my aren't and comedy is rooted in truth. Uh, And so I don't play little games like that. Hey,

And why aren't we talking about blockers more? You know, like we'll go, we'll go as a people and we'll all watch love Simon and will be gently disappointed by love Simon. But it never crosses our mind that Kay Cannon, in making Blockers, has given us a much better gay teen comedy. Is it because it centers on a woman? I don't know. You would think the fact that it was mainstream would make like gave people more into it, because all we fucking want is for the mainstream to

pay attention to us. Um. But I don't understand why only only Riley Jeff Silverman, she is the only queer voice who has been calling out to America and saying, hey, Blockers is a good movie that you should be excited about. Um. And it's really funny, and I co parent Holts is my friend and my friend Dave Stasin worked on it. But I'm not just being enthusiastic about it because m my friends worked on it. I'm being enthusiastic about it because Blockers is a very funny movie. And I like

I like a nice mainstream comedy. I like getting Stone and going to a mainstream comedy Brooklyn children, do you feel that needs to be better than mainstream culture? You only want to approach things ironically or at a distance, or in your stupid boxy sweatshirts. Um, let me tell you like this whole Oh look at how dramatically oversized my shirt is thing that is sizest. It is fundamentally sizes. It is just one of many ways that you say, oh, look at how thin I am, funk all of you.

I probably shouldn't get into rag threats of how I will start crushing your bones between my gigantic media fists. That's probably not what lost cultures this is about. But when I went and saw Blockers, I wasn't stoned. So then I went and I feel pretty stone owned. It was really good. It was really good. She's a good action. In conclusion, Patti's comedy is rooted in lines, as is

my gender. My life is a God has come such a life, And I will be doing a show heard it here first, I'll be doing a launch show at Union Hall. But I don't know what the day is saying that. But you guys should all come to my launch show and buy my book, especially Patty, so she can learn how to make a comedy that is rooted in true Oh my god, by guys. But I make clear that I'm in Palm Springs and have been drinking since ten this morning. I don't know if I made

that clear. I went to Palm Springs in the middle of the week for no good reason. Luxurious and also gets stoned, but not watch I feel pretty okay, okay, And that's our voice from that he's having fun. I agree that that we're not talking about Blockers enough because I don't think enough people have seen it. I haven't seen it. I heard it's good. I heard it's good. Our friend Emily Schmidt wrote for it as well. Um,

a friend of Kake Cannon, Um, Patty. Let's talk about well, let's talk well, first of all, let's there's a lot to unpack. Yeah, I will say that it does make sense learning that he was drunk recording that, and you know, m hm, because I was wondering, I was like, why would he think I would buy a book? Must have been drinking heavily. I would buy a book. As for a comedy, my comedy being based in lies. Yes, as

is your gender identity, as is my gender identity. As is I mean everything that I'm saying, everything that I'm doing, the way I wear my hair, the way I'm talking to you right now, the way I'm looking at you, even though people are just going to be able to hear this. The way that I'm looking at you, all of it is acting. This goes into some like J. D. Salander territory. We have an unreliable narrator, you know, in Patty,

but she's narrating her own life. I don't know J D. Sundress, And I don't know what prevarica he wrote Catcher in the Rock and the Right, Well, I know that book. That book should we look at prevaricate just to like humor, look that prevaricate, prevaricate And what is Catcher in the rye about? Catching the rise? About a boy who's mad, annoying, very annoying. Here we go prevaricated, and I'm going to read that verbs speak or act in an evasive way.

He seemed to prevaricate when journalists asked pointed questions. Okay, I do do that. It's a word. It's a word for dodging. There you go, deflecting. Provaricator. That's all you want to me when I come to with my questions. Prevaricated, that's all you lose me. Well, I come to you when I'm big true? Who who? Who? The truth? Who? Who? Prevaricatea prevaricated my first single. Now I thought that who who Who was the good hook. Yes, we're time, it's time to move on to I don't think so honey.

This is the segment where we take one minute to rail against something in pop culture that is bothering us, that we're not really loving. And this is our safe space, one minute to really go for it. And I ready to go, um, yes, okay, great, you have one. So a woman that's going on the clock, Matt Rodgers is I don't think so, honey. As time starts now, I

don't think so honey. People who can't give Melanni a Trump credit for at least looking really good, Like, listen, you can say what you want, but you cannot say. You can't factually say that she doesn't look good. All of a sudden, the conversation has turned to Milannia Trump's wardrobe. And we always discussed the first ladies in the way they present themselves. And you know what, you can't say

that she doesn't look good. She does look good. Whether or not the outfits mean more than just looking good, that's up for debate. If it's more interesting for you to say she's wearing white, and that's like a statement. The strong hats are a statement. The retrofuturism is a statement. That's fine, but just like, don't make it more than it is. She looks good. You can't say she looks bad. You can have your opinion on Milannia Trump, but you don't need to say that she looks bad. The woman

is dealing with enough. You don't like Donald Trump. Guess what, she is married to Donald Trump, y'all. She hasn't much worse than us. Just give her a fucking break. She could be an evil person. We don't know, but like, let's assume that you heard it here first. Milannia Trump has it worse than most American people. I'm just saying that she has to be married to Donald Trump, and that's got to be hard. And I'm here right now. I made a surprise. Want to thank you so much,

Matt Bouts for standing up for me. I love you and I will be by your side as you have been by my side. I love you. I want to be here with you. Please look at my outfit. What do you think of it now? I think it looks amazing. It's a red, really strong shouldered um ensemble that looks like it was made. Yes, oh, it was made. Come to Sam. Wait, let me clarify. And I think I

know what you're trying to say. We'll go. I don't think that Melannia Trump is like an innocent but all of a sudden, every news channel I go to the road like Milannia Trump's wardrobe, what do we think? I don't. No, It's like, no, you can't argue that she is presenting herself well you know what I mean, she looks a lot more expensive like like and she looks like a lot better like, more presented and more proud of the way she put yourself together. Then fucking garbage that she's

like next to all the time. And also today will be Goldberg compared to Jacqueline Kennedy. Okay, here's the thing, though, you're Matt's media diet, and you know news diet is still the view. Um, he's not really evolved since eight years ago. Um, you can't. You can't have that set the bar for what the conversation is. And with the tenor of I don't want to do this show, stop, I mean, Matt, you can't like stop wait are you mad? Okay, Matt's leaving and this is real Matt. Matt, come on, okay,

this is wow. What Matt got up and left? I think he probably has to take a shut I think he's I think he just actually needs to expel fecal matter from his body. I had to fucking ship since I texted you and told you I was here in front of ability? Is this true? My comedy? My personality is lies? It is lies? Um? Fine, fine, okay, Well it looks like I've really heard Matt's feelings. Um. You know, I thought I thought this was just part of our you know, our our banter is just is Oh my god,

what is this? I'm a ghost of who? Oh my god? That died? No, Matt, Now you never got to tell me in life what you really wanted to tell me. And I was your transfer for I crossed over? Oh my god, man, what do you want? How did you die? Um? A broken heart? My friends didn't support me? Oh my god? Who are your friends? Patty and Boy? Oh my god? What about Travis? What about Travis Moser? Oh? Hey, well we just met earlier this yevening. Hey, I would just want to clarify to you a ghost, that I wasn't

actually your friend. Well, this is your moment to tell me what you really want to say before I cross over to the other side. Matt Waite, the view is news. The view is news. I didn't mean what I said. Thank you. Now I can go wa what were you going to say? I wanted to tell him I'm back to listen. Oh now he's listening. I just wanted to say, like,

I think that I don't know. Sometimes he does this thing when he talks where he like rotates his shoulders and it's like, I don't think he realizes he's doing but it is so jarring and it like makes me mistrack of what I'm talking about. He just like rolls his head around sea and now that he's dead, he's not going to be doing that anymore, which is like, I don't know that you're norther. How I can cross on?

Oh I he heard Afterlife. I don't think Oh my god, wait wait hold on okay, alright, uh yeah, okay, hold on, hold on? What the fund was that? All right? Hold on? My phone is being crazy? Do you want to take mine? Can this? We're keeping all of this? I don't think any time starts now. I don't think so, Honey. Book Club is Okay. I was foisted with this, you know, invitation to join this Asian book club, which I thought was a great I would be a great idea, But

guess what the meaning is. The first meeting is May twelve, which is to two and a half weeks from now, and I'm expected to read the eight hundred page monster brick that is Pachinko within that time period. Bitch, I

have so much reading material to sift through. I have Jumper that New Yorker article that came out a few years ago about about how the Golden Gate Bridge on having railings to prevent suicide and how uh that is uh, you know, a sociological issue about aesthetics and about mental health. I have. I have some some great new stuff for authors that we're going to interview for this podcast that

I'm so excited about. I do not have time to sit and digest an eight page book about a multigenerational story about Asians to talk about, because I dee prioritize my own race, and that is a choice I'm making. That's one minute. Wow, He's making the choice in two d prioritize his own race, Patty, And that's okay, But your race is like my race. Race. He's just like my race. That's cute. I like that you added an extra like few words. Um uh no, you know what.

I just I don't have time. It's about time, and it's about deep prioritizing race. I don't know what is prioritizing race, you know, leading with it. I don't know. But here's the thing. People of color can't turn it on or off. It's it's part of it's part of him there. It's external identity. Patty, are you ready for your I don't think so. Funny, yeah, okay, then your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. What Ellen Degenerous did to me in that hypothetical concert situation that

was wrong. The way she went she got a pnnect to me. She went and she got a pennect to me. She got her penis rum moved Ellen Degenerous, and then she replaced it with a Rhinos horn and proceeded during my opening during my new song. It wasn't my because the meddling was over, the medley was over. She I was from my and then no one was talking about it. And then she impaled my fans and then did three front flips. So fast rotating, so fast flung my weaponize

my fans dead bodies at me. Then proceeded to get the whole crowd chanting training before they attacked. And then and I think she said something about my race too, right, she said, because she's poking fun of my Vietnamese origin. And that is something I don't think so and that is something I don't think so honey, it's wrong. It's wrong. Now I have a surprise, Travis. Would you like to do and I don't think so, honey. Do you have anything that I don't think so honey about? You can

also say now or we'd love to hear it. Can I do it? Yes? But like it has to be something I don't want a thing like where it's like I hate. It has to be something where it's like okay, okay, fine, fine, And can we cut this if it's horrible? No, we're keeping it because it's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. Okay. Um oh, here we go, here we go? Um uh. Can I select from a few Yes, let's give you options. Okay, Um, I don't think so honey. Expensive tableware, Um, okay, that's

that's that's that's niche that's niche on what come on? Okay, I don't think so, honey. People who walk and lines on the sidewalk side by side, I don't think so, honey, people who walk in lines on the side. It's like we are native New Yorkers, Honey. We need you to move to either the right or the last, and we need you to stay not mom and dad on the right, and sister and brother and that we need you all to go on the right or so that we can we New Yorkers who are getting places can then trudge

forward to our destinations. We're going to our ripley greers, going to our dearest darling forever dogs, going to our our patties, beautiful concerts with impaling and different different activities with Ellen degenerous. Were where we need you to move to the left. No lines, No, this isn't you know a daisy chain of people just moving along. It's like, please get out of my way. The world's ending. I need to get to my destination as a motherfucking p

I don't think so, honey. Yes, amazing daisy chain of people. No, no, no, no, no no. What was the Joe the Joe Wrigley? What have you been there rehearsal space slash sometimes audition space for many, a musical theater rehearsal, many, a play rehearsal many even a comedy rehearsal actually in the same building. And oh, I heard about this fire. I heard about the the there's always like a fuffle over there. Ripley Greer is like kind of insane, Like being there is

like an insane heightened experience. It's like a multi sensory experience. It's in the way that that movie about the pill that makes you access all of your brain. With Bradley Cooper, it's exactly like exactly is now a show? Is it? Really? Is he in it? He's very famous? Does anybody I've never watched it, but you know Bradley Cooper is going to be in that A Star is Born movie with Lady and I hear it's really good. The trailer brought everyone to tears, as can you believe that was it?

That was? That was that? No, it was a cinema coon. The trailer and the reactions were over the top. And also people that have seen the movie have said that it's amazing and that Bradley Cooper is incredible in it. And doesn't make a great job directing on that. Stephanie germanata a Lady Gaga is a breakout performance. Was an actress? Would you support that and celebrate that. I think that she is an incredible performer singer. I think she has paid her dues. I think she deserves to have a place.

I want to see Bradley Cooper nut. I want to see him nut at the end where I do want.

I am curious. I've always wanted to ask Patty this because I think she's a very interesting complex relationship with the song I'm Born this Way and with Lady Gaga in general, because I talk about that because she is able to constantly just like mine it for some comedic value and just with how fucking stupid the lyrics are hot to follow in My Way nor orient like Oriay, so talk about like what like what is it about Born this Way that you keep coming back to you? Okay?

So the so Lady Gaga, you know that song was on Born this Way, the album you know, coming hot out of the fame monster and game changing album. This is like her her big com her big her big comig, big second Nuts. She was jacking off on the first album, and then she finally and she would probably say that too, that a Lady Gaga who was always saying really you did. And then she also had like a weird accent interview.

Did she like say something like that. I think Born this Way, you know, and the it's the first pop song, top forty pop song that used the word transgender in it maybe also the you know, first top forty pop song that referred to your your orient Also, I just think Born this Way is uh, it's just the song. The idea of the song is is really fun, like i'd great, and then everything else about it is you know, there's a there's a wrap break where she's talking like

she's recording a voice memo in her phone. It's like weather Leve's disabilities Live you podcast yourself today because and then she likes comes in like guys Transcendaga and there's a live version of it. I think she did at like the American Music Words or something, or the Grammys where she's in that like foole textus and there's an organ on stage and and she's just playing star. Yeah. I love I really really really loved late Born This Way era Lady Gagaa I one I think Shy Say

is a great song. I think Bloody marries an incredible government. Government. Yes, I was a baby and I let room okay, but do you balance that out with like, oh, Lady Gaga's sucking ridiculous. So that era of her was also you know, shys really like nice feministic, yeah, really like thoughtful. It seems she was trying to be subversive and like. But after that she started dating the gap tooth model guy and she engaged. Then she started doing all those interviews

where she was like, I'm not a feminist. Yes, I love to cook for my man. I don't like folding on everything. I like being sexually submissive. And it was just like she defaulted all of it. It's not the weird art pop phase. This was like between Our Pop

and Born this way. She she was dating Taylor Kenney and she was like, because she met him on the You're Okay, So that that's interesting that she was mentally all funked up like while she was creating art pop. Sure, sure, I think yeah, I think she folded to the pressure of her celebrity, the celebrity that she was commenting on in the Fame Monster. It's like the all the nut

was being put back in. Well, once you to clean up the mess, and it sounds like she a really hard time once you once you're not Yeah, once you know you have to just suck it all back in. Yeah. Once you not, you of course have to gather all the nuts into your hands and slurp it up. No I was I was saying, like you you don't do that, your asshole, to just inhale it. Yeah right, you don't

eat your calm. Yeah, you don't do that right well, for you know whether or not you your come ye, whether life's disability leave you outcast, or eat your come tonight baby baby, you are born this way. No TRANSGENDERO the right come come you sing for me as h J lurches for the controls. We have to be wrapping up. Um. Travis, thank you so much for coming today. It was an honor to have you. Thank you for being here, and thank you for bringing this this great stuff for us.

And also please check out Travis's music. Is the song that you just feels like Home? Is that what it's called? It feels like Home. It's very beautiful and as is the rest of his little catalog that he has on Spotify and go check out his shows and everything. It sounds like Madonnathan is gonna be very Madonna thought. I can't wait. I'll be there. And as for you, traitor risk ho, how dare you come in here? I'm gonna come. I'm not saying nasty things about Ellen. And it's introvertive.

That's what she said. She said that to us before she came. Yeah, and that's her real voice. Did you know that I'm dating Ellen? Fuck Patty? Yeah? Yeah, and she she refuses she's a condom. Well, because what condom is going to and I did too. Yeah, I'm like yeah, and she just spits on it. That's not safe. It's not out on this for the end of the episode every time, okay everyone, and then I love it. Sometimes she'll like put her finger in and then she'll pull

it out. Also, I also go see guys show, go see guy random show. And by his book, by his book, and by his book for me, oh yes, by his book for the audiobook for Patty. Because she does a read. She does a read. If you're going to read, well, she doesn't read. She didn't read in the morning, she didn't read, dog not read never where. Yes, this has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham,

Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Modify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook. M