On The First Day of Culture... August 18th, 1953: The First McDonald's Opens Its Doors - podcast episode cover

On The First Day of Culture... August 18th, 1953: The First McDonald's Opens Its Doors

Dec 10, 202030 min
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Episode description

Welcome to the Holidays, darling. Day 1 of our 12 episode series explores the fast food kingdom with those golden arches. Las Culturistas agree; "This was a day of cultural history, this gift." The girls discuss why McDonald's is culturally significant, how it relates to their stupid lives, and play Marry, Fuck, Kill with figures within the McDonald's canon. Do YOU think they should give two hash browns instead of one with McDonald's breakfast? Do you have a go-to meal or do you shake it up each time, order-wise? If you don't listen to this episode? Precious one, you're without. 

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Transcript

Speaker 1

Look man, oh, I see you? Why and look over there? How is that culture? Yes? Goodness ding dong lost culture? At least just calling this one's a special one. When you say a little unexpected, maybe more special. It's um seasonal as the seasonal. You know. We love to give gifts to the to the readers. I got what they were called. Were called. We call you the readers, not the last culture. That's us, Sorry, that's us. We should just say some magnetically weird things are happening in the world.

Go off hot executive producer and his power just went out in her parents house. She's joining a splain phenomenon her folks home. Matt just got an order of some food that he did not enjoy. How dare you, oh, blocketting my name in the village. I'm not doing anything well Because I came on the zoom with a concern that now that we've done an rib, I was, okay, I'm just gonna come out and say it because you were were you want to cut this out? Just so

I'm not. I'm not because I asked the producers. I said, we didn't add for the McRib for the McDonald's macrib and as a result of that, you can't do it, Air, Yes, I can. It's a well you okay, I have to say it now. I think the McRib is fine. I mean it's not It's not what I would and you love it, which is amazing. It's not that I'm not going to go to McDonald's ever. Again, it's not a sort of criticism of McDonald's. I'm just saying that it's not going to be what I order when I go

there each day. Hold, okay, pause, real fast. I don't I do think we should cut this out and not talk about this, because then it steps on like it's step on the big reveal that the first day of culture is the McDonald is dig reveal even funnier. Well, now we've already revealed it. But you said cut this out. I feel like we should just keep it. I feel

like it gives it away. And then I also don't want to potentially compromise, but Bow and I just want to know that you are the one that brought us here because you said Mac got some food that he didn't like, and then I felt compelled to once I get once I've given the assist, I have to give the spike. You're right, Okay, all right, but let's let's let's let's just in case for safety, let's just reset, okay, okay from the top. No no no, no, no no, no no no, if you want to, I was gonna pick up from

Anna's pick it up. Anna is working in like a power outage situation, explained phenomenon Hans hot, head of Content Hot. No, I think we should, I think we should. We have to go. This is unhanded. We're giving you a special gift this holiday season, which is transparency, transfer transparency. This was the most chaotic. Okay, this really is the most

chaotic we've ever been on. This is what I'm can I just say really, but oh my god, it's so on in what the fact that we are four years into this podcast, on year five, if you want to think of it that way, and we are still we are still giving you, um, we're still doing ourselves in the buffoonery. Gotta hand it to us. You thought it stopped at two moments in culture. Oh no, bitch, We're gonna record twelve episodes in a row. This is so stupid.

You're literally working the most stressful job and entertainment and we're like, let's do this. We want to die. I think it was our idea because we we love the

readers so much truly. Um. We're recording this in the week that everyone's Spotify wraps came out, and I think a lot of podcasters are feeling emotional about their their podcasts being you know what, that is very real and it's so I will say that it has been such a constant for me throughout the really this like whole like of course quarantine, but like this whole like chunk of time in our lives. Like I've just loved doing

it so much. And to see that so many people still care so much or are starting to care about the podcast, that's very cool, and it has been very touching, and Bone and I have been texting each other saying we were emotion so thank you for thank you for listening, thank you for um, you know, inviting us in in whatever way was personal to you, and you accept us and seeing and seeing us. You accept us and you see us and as Diablo Cody said in her Oscar speech,

you let me just the way I am. Remember that that dress was wonderful. Oh I loved it, And you know, you want to know some tea what actually I don't know if I can say this, you probably can't. Well, we got to cut this out, and yet we're doing the miss chaotic episode we've ever done. Let's just say this, I've seen Diablo Cody's Oscar in real life. Oh great, that's that's cool. It was used in a performance I watched. Oh my god, I love that, love it and um anyway,

but yes, sorry, we were. So we're recording this in the week of Spotify rafts um, thank you for listening, thank you. But what we're doing now is we're releasing starting on December, We're releasing a new half hour ish episode every single weekday until Christmas Day on Friday December. Weekends off, okay, weekends off. You guys have the weekends off. The weekends off, so do we. But this is required listening if you're a reader. Required But if you don't

read this, you're not doing the syllabus. Okay, and it's actually a really culture you must dot of culture number which one is that? Yes, rule of culture. You must really listen all of us. So this is twelve days of culture. We are going to be highlighting one date in history, yes, in centural history. I'm sorry to our culture, which is different different. Um, we're doing one day culture. History started at the Renaissance fourteen ninety two. That's right.

Fourteen ninety two was the start of the resident residents. So that's when culture started. You understand, you understand, you understand. The Renaissance was like fourteen ninety two. That's like something my one of my aunts would have said when I was little. Yeah, the Renaissance only fourteen ninety two. On onward from that point, Oh my god. Start with what I was talking to a friend. I'm a guy who

a friend A guy Okay, yes it was a guy. No, no, no, I meant to say, a straight guy who wanted to date with this girl who I'm already laughing was from Long Island, and so it's a lovely man. He married her like recently. I guess it was some event. It was like over the summer. It was like I'm gonna go home and watch like this thing. Do you want to come with? And then she just went, uh, yeah,

I guess that's something that could be interested. Oh yeah, I guess that's something that could or no, she said, yeah, that that is that don't sound like anything I've ever done before, Like something like it was like a fucking hack job Merissa to make character and I but that person exists. Oh No. The thing about Long Island is people will just talk more, to say just the word yes or no, whatever, just to hear themselves do it. That's very the spirit of that's the spirit of Long Island.

That we what were we talking about doing one day in cultural history? For every episode in this special segment series, you should say and what and then what are we doing? Matt? So basically each of these days of culture culture history is of course fourto onward. Each of these days gave birth to a gift that was a gift to us. Okay, so these are each day twelve days of culture throughout time culture history. These are the most twelve most important

days of culture because they gave us these gifts. And today we are giving you the gift of the first day of culture on the first day cure. It was what was it, August eighteen, nineteen fifty three, the first mc donald donald open doors. So at this point you may or may not know the Matt ordered rib. I didn't order it. We are doing an ad for the McRib which everyone should go out and try. Okay, I tried it because we did the add it's not what I would order at McDonald's. Okay, Okay, so that's great.

I'm so happy you do. And I think everyone should go out and try the mcribb. This is me pushing sales for m and try it yourself. And if you decide that the number two or not the number two anymore. It was the number two r I p but to cheeseburgers in a large cheese adopt it's good for you, then that's wonderful. That's what I'm deciding. But if you love the McRib I celebrate. Okay. But this is August thirteenth, nineteen fifty three, the day the first McDonald's opened its doors.

This was a day of culture history, this gift, a day of gifts. So I was gonna this was cons just get um. That's the that's the every every no, it's talk about why McDonald's is such a dream, talking about why McDonald's is such a culturally iconic. Picture this, okay,

picture this. You get out of school and it's the winter and it's like it's the kind of day where it's like by the time you get out of school, it's like dark out Okay, you have a fuck ton of homework to do, like a lot Like that day, it was just like every teacher just leaned on you for some reason. No one was communicating, Like all the teachers gave too much homework, and you had after school, you had practice or rehearsal for whatever it is you were doing. So this was like a day. Now you

have to do this homework. And oh so you know what tonight, mom actually isn't cooking. So where are you in your big jacket in a thick line, getting ready to get that fast dinner that's satisfying fast dinner. This scene I'm painting for you is tied directly to my and then getting that little warm bag after waiting for someone, that little warm brown bag full of you know what stuff that tastes good. It might not be real quote unquote real meat, and what does that mean anyway? What

does that mean anyway? And the soda might be I guess, I don't know. People will say flat. I don't really know what that means, but you know what, it was gonna go inside your gullet. It's gonna eventually, after a time, hit that indigestion on and you're going to be digested and leaning over your work diligently with the energy to finish your task and go to bed happy and wake

up still snatched. That is why Queen McDonald's reign supreme of the day of culture first day, that proclamation with which you delivered that see so pasionately deliver wait like omar rosa managal neuba omar rosa level. That was good. Thank you folks. That was a performance. Oh my god, I might have to release the crack and a k a. The video Oh I want you to give me sort of like that was as vivid a McDonald's experience. And forget about when you get it for breakfast. Okay, when

you get it for breakfast, that's it. Bacon, bacon, egg and cheese on a on a muffin and on on a biscuit. Forget it. It is a treat and a half. You know, I get two halshbrownds no matter what, because you know what one won't do, one will never do, one will never do. And they should actually start giving to. They should just give to Okay, I said, okay, challenge to them, you know, because you McDonald's knows. At this point,

I'm not giving it up easy, Okay, I'll do the ad. Sure, But once I turn around and you see the real me, the Dr Jackal, I'm gonna say what I think about Doctor Jackal. Dr Jackal was the the other girl run the no no no. Dr Jackyll was the good one. Wait, Mr Hyde, I'm sorry, but can I say something. Dr Jekyl sound is like the evil guy. Sorry to the writer, that's just like you, being culturally programmed to think that scientists are evil, which is very anti intellectual of you.

That must be what that is. Sorry, sorry, I hate being in it scien intellectual. I know you do. Tell me what was your prompt to me? Uh? Well, my prompt to you is I want you to specifically draw out for us what your life's sense memory with McDonald's

is um. For me, it was moving from very cold, frigid, dry climb of Contreal, Quebec, and then moving to the other cold frigid, dry climb, more frigid Aurora, Colorado, and thinking and yet still thinking, Wow, this is a shock to me, a shock to me culturally even, And I thought nothing on me looks familiar. I don't recognize these streets, these people, these faces show me something familiar for a change.

Why don't you lest I try and walk out this door of this country right now, across the dawn border myself by foot as a nine year old. Yes, go off. We're looking at houses with my parents who have done a lot of work, talking to a broker, work, exhausting work. They don't want to make lunch. No, not so where did they go? We pull up to the McDonald's on a Rapahoe Road, next to the Dickies Barbecue, across from the Kia dealership, of course, and we see and we

see those golden arches. They're a gateway. They're a gateway in the literal sense, in the sort of color story of it, all organic, warm, inviting colors, yellow and red. Baby, and you go, honey, I'm home. Yes, let's press on towards those arches, for we know the spoils that that trove holds, prayers And what did I order? Filet a

fish for the mom? For my mom. I should say, oh, that took me back, that took me out, girl, that there's a special kind of person that if you fuck, if you funk with the tartar sauce and McDonald's, you're a good person. You're you're a good person. Congratulations. Congratulations. My dad would order just whatever chaotic thing he was in the mood for that day. Sometimes it would be a salad shaker, remember those. Sometimes he would order a different thing, like he was someone who was open to

different things. Well, my dad's only like, my dad was only very McDonald's like ten times his entire life. So of those ten times, I don't really remember consistent order, like like a thematic order being. My sister would always get a big Mac. That's I'll never understand. I used to be a big Mac person and then a college switched the cho cheeseburgers. You got the that's the way. And I also shock everyone in the house by saying another option, the double cheeseburger. Sometimes two of them, you

did not. I just really went there. I said that if you want a big Mac volume and you find yourself gravitating more towards the two cheeseburger situation, like me and my very close sister Bowen, then perhaps what you're saying really is you're ready to compromise America. Mm hmmm. Don't do that. So the centrist, when it comes to McDonald's, it might be time to sort of moving to double cheeseburger territory. Now the chicken of it all. Talk to

me McDonald's chicken. No, I want you to tell me because I feel like, you know there's much I'm gonna meat burger person, and I feel like you might be airing more towards some chicken. Sometimes. I always love some chicken. And look when it comes to McDonald's chicken, didn't we all love it before? And then Food Inc Comes out and everyone's like it's made of pink slime. Guess what?

Guess what happened? Fucking nothing, because we all love that pink slim and as long as you know that it's pink slime, it don't change the fact that we still love to eat it. Guess what, bitch, If you have a problem back then with the pink slime and now you find yourself sort of bling on nuggets. You actually didn't learn anything from those films that were made about McDonald's, Like what's the one with the guy who ate all the supercise super Sionny. You didn't learn anything from that.

You didn't learn anything from Food Inc. You didn't learn anything from anything. Natalie Portman has literally ever said stop so get off your high horse forever. Queen. Queen. Here's the thing. If you did not learn anything from the movie Food Inc. And then you might as well not even watch a single documentary again, because your retention skills

seem to be very non existent. Darling dear, you don't have precious one, precious one, precious one, precious when you're without, precious one without, Oh that's that's that's stupidest precious one pressures one you're without. I mean, if readers feel free to use that next time you need to clap back, next time you needed to shut a young girl down, Just a precious one you're without. I'm literally going to sell it to the next person that pisses me off,

and it's probably gonna be Mitch McConnell. Girl, Mitch, Mitch, precious one you're without, and he's gonna he's gonna not know what to say. He's just gonna stand there like a puddle and and be a puddle. Can I ask a question that will I think cause a lot of maybe controversy amongst the readers. What do you feel about the access to and usage of McDonald's play sets throughout childhood? Do you think they were something that's spread disease like

absolute wildfire. Or do you think that this was a moment in time that you miss and you used the playsets. It was a moment in time when I would the the attraction and the draws they say would be make play place. Wow, So you would maybe even want to go to one McDonald's over another over there play place because one nick play place would have better architecture. You know. Now I have a controversial question, gone Mary fuck kill

mhm Ronald McDonald. Oh gosh, it's already hard, Grimace, it's already hard just to one because I don't know whether I want to fuck him or Marriam. Because Ronald McDonald's make makes me crazy. He makes me sexually crazy. I do crazy things when I think about him. But keep going, but hold on, it's Ronald McDonald. Grimace. Fuck, this is so hard, This is tough for me, Grimace. Oh my god, he's so fucking hot. He's so hot. He's brutal. Let

me keep going, keep going, let me keep going. Finally, finally, okay, Hamburgler. Oh I'm on fire. I'm on fucking fire in my chair. It's crazy, bitch. Oh my god, I've never felt like this. I can't believe I have to kill one of them when all I want to do is fucking tear every one of them apart, with every part of me so so fucking hard to do this. I'm gonna marry Ronald McDonald because he's got the money and at the end

of the day, that's what makes the world around. I'm gonna fuck the Hamburgler because I know he's been some sticky situations, and Mama, the the scenario that I want us to play out can only be described as cops and robberts. It can only be described as, Mama, I'm in love with Grata that unfortunately, I have to kill Grimace because it's just negative energy, which I do like sometimes in a in a vivid sexual way, but not tonight. You like negative energy in a vivid sexual way? What

does that mean? At times? It has been? It has been at times. Okay, Well, thank you for you've you've you've done it. You've answered my question, you've answered the prompt um. So as we move forward into today, what do you think? What do you think of the way

McDonald stands in the world. The critics s is ums sort of you know, attack the the attack by health groups on McDonald O god, oh my god, oh my U is still standing answered, what do you think of McDonald's current standing in the world and the attacks by health groups on McDonald's. Should they chill? Should they relax? Look? Look, McDonald's is listening McDonald McDonald says they've tried to solve these problems. They've tried salads, they've tried. Are they healthy

or not? Asked answer that question, They're healthy if you want to, if you want to get healthy out of it. That's it's as simple as that. Mcdonal is just giving you choices. And at the end of the day, and this is very neoliberal, maybe, but you gotta choose, honey. And if you and if you don't pull yourself and if you don't pull yourself up by the bootstraps mm hmm, then if you don't do that, then then you deserve to be unhealthy. And you really do, you really do?

So you really do anyway? Um? So um okay, yeah, one more thing, Mary kill, Oh my god. The mc flurry regular strawberry shake. You order a small drink and put every soda in it. You you you press every soda and run the soft drink included Oh my god, wow'll see this is the thing I didn't I didn't even know people did that last one. Bet you know, my stupid gay little ass was combining every soda and making creations and drinking that one. Think about how good it

probably is. And Mary, I think I marry then Nick Fleury because I don't think I've ever I don't think they've ever let me down. They've never disappointed, never ever ever deviated um strewn from the path. The steady beating coculum of the three has a beating mm hmm. Fuck strawberry milkshake. Oh yes, get the berry, Get the berry. Why don't And you know it's a nice little hair do I like. I like how it just sort of

swirls and and it pinches off at the top. You'll never run out of That song was written about the strawberry milkshake, and then Taylor and then obviously I would have to know you didn't try so to you son to potion just just fucking rude as shit. You're gonna you were going to call me a name, you were going to call you name. It sounded like rude as ship. It sounds like you're gonna call me a faggot. No, I was never gonna say faggot. I only save that

for my sister. My god, I've never seen you like this. This is a reader and my twelve plus yours friendship with Matt Rodgers have not seen him like this. No, no, what do you have to say for yourself? What I have to say is that I think that McDonald's being a part of the culture was absolutely a really important day. And the day that McDonald's opened its doors was for sure the first day of culture. So we have eleven more of these and wow, I don't know, we'll see

where they go. But McDonald's August eight, the first McDonald's opens its doors, a huge moment. With that boris many gifts. Yes, thank you for the gifts of the select strips. Thank you for the gifts of the sausage, egg and cheese on the McMuffin. Thank you for the gifts of hash Brown's. Thank you for the gifts of just that small McCafe. Thank you for the gifts of honestly, you know, throughout

the world different different delicacies. You know, you get your maca ron France, or you get your terrap pies in Asia, I mean, the McDonald's adapts so well to different locations. McDonald's in America's not like McDonald's in other countries. You know, you know that, No, I do know that, because I've I have distinctly been to Montreal and been in a McDonald's between McDonald's something else, and they were, you know, they were selling some sort of um chicken parmesan sandwich.

And so it shall be, So it shall be, and so it shall be so named. And we just want to say thank you to McDonald's and the gifts and being the first day of culture by singing I thank you song. And this is also how we will end every episode. And you h s see you tomorrow. Bye. They can't see you. Wave grooth wow

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