"Milky And Slide" (w/ Milly Tamarez & Alise Morales)

Look man, oh, I see you my own line and look over there is that in the culture.

Yes, goodness, lost culture.

Ding dong, lost culture calling tactile tactile.

Hey, hey, we're in strike mode.

We're in strike mode, and we're checking in with each other and you out there.

People are asking what you can do to support the w G a strike that is officially happening.

We're where it's.

As of twelve oh one am C S T E T. Yeah, we're on strike.

What can you do to support?

Well, I guess you can be like missus Betty Gilpin and destroy AI for one.

Yeah, we need to get rid of AI once and for all.

And this is what's really making me see that finally, it wasn't it wasn't clear to me by Centennial Man, because that was a parable that movie.

Can we wait, hold on, we don't talk about bi centennial Man.

We literally don't talk about bi Centennial Man enough. And we'll get back to the writer's strike. But but first we have to just touch on Bisentenia Man, which speaking of writing.

Speaking of writing, Oh, fabulous writing. This was an epic space film.

This was fantasy, it was drama, it was comedy, it was it was science fiction, which is another word for technology. It's actually real. Coach are number nineteen. Sci fi is it another word for technology? That movie never forget the iconic Celendion song at the end, I'm forgetting. Then you look at me and I always see I'm so close to about.

What I have been searching. Fun gag. Listen to it.

I'm telling you, and the Celene Dion belt are tities off.

Why didn't that movie sort of hit more? I guess is what is my question? You had, Robin Williams. You had a Celine Dion song.

Yeah, it had all the makings.

I had Mbeth David's Mbeth David's period. Children are not called embth anymore. That's actually really culture number nine. Children are not called anymore. And we have an announcement. One of the nominees for oh my God, our best name that people are not named and will not be named going forward anymore, is mbeth.

I think we took that category out. Oh my god, can we just say. On the flight back from Orlando, Matt and I sat, our flight was extremely delayed. We sat on the plane. We wrote out the entire list of new categories and old ones remaining categories for cultural awards.

Stay tuned because you are in for some old favorite categories and also new categories that are sort of more newer than the older ones.

Yes, and we did do that.

But anyway back to the strike, So, yes, the Writer's Guild is on strike. And basically what happened was the studio's response to us was, in a word, pathetic.

It's very demoralizing to see where we're sort of at.

I guess I thought that it was going to be way easier than it seems like it's going to be. I had heard from my sources, which I now confirm we're bullshit, that like there was like one hold out or like that we were almost there on every issue except one or two, and like it seemed like it was feasible we'd reach a agreement. But then the response was just pathetic.

It was very much giving the thing of like, well I heard from someone in the know, and then in the next breath going, well, no one really knows anything.

And then one in Hollywood is a fucking liar and also stupid. So why would you turn to your friend who's involved in Hollywood or or the entertainment industry, which is another word for Hollywood. It's a real coachure number eight. Hollywood is another word for entertainment industry. They're the dumbest people in the world, so why would they know what's happening. I'm just kidding me, really, but we need them pretty dumb.

Check your sources. Not one of your sources has been good in this or any issue.

When a sort of gay guy comes over to you, like shaking their shoulders and doing their gay guy thing, because gay guys, I don't know if you've noticed, they shake their shoulders, they move it sort of gaay way, you know what I mean.

Like sometimes I'll be at a bar and a gay guy will sort.

Of gay up to me and I go, what are you gay?

And like hit me with justice here it's just like this, like explain to the readers what I'm doing.

Okay, Matt just hit me in a sort of gay almost faggy way.

And I sort of say and I say something like this new Ari album Wednesday, and you're like, gay guy, get out of here, because you're a liar, first of all.

And then Wednesday rolls around and then it's like, oh, you meant Zora Larson.

No, missus, Zora Larson has been dragged because her name is Zara Larson.

Zara, That's what I meant. But now it doesn't matter at all.

We actually loved Zara Larson. We love Zarah Larson. Yes, wait, that's a good one. What's a good song We've been listening to and you know what I'm talking about.

There's a's a tie between two Go Ahead both by Mazy Peters period It's Lost, the breakup and Body Better the way I became so proud to see literally Bowen become like amazing Peter Stam like in hours.

We're seeing her at Radio City, Yes we are.

You should all come, speaking of live performance before we bring our guests in, and we're lucky to have the guests.

We're so lucky.

The Tony nominations were announced. We want to say congratulations to many of our friends who have been on the podcast who earned nominations today.

Ben Platt, Bonnie Milligan, Amber.

Ruffin, Amber someone Yes, I mean just shout out to and like other people we don't know and have never met and may never meet, or have you met you've met Sarah Burrellis.

I've not met Sarah Burrellis.

Oh oh we know, Oh my gosh, of course I've met Sarah Burrellis. But it was in such I met Sarah Burrellis at Elsewhere because that's what we shot our episode of Girls by Eva, and it was very much I was like, what am I?

I was like. It was also my first time back at.

Elsewhere since since Lockdown, and I was like, god, I remember all the parties that used to happen here. Yeah, and it was like Sarah Burrells being so chill, cool, normal, cool girl, Sarah Burrellis. Okay, can we spoil a category. There's a category called Alison Williams Cool Girl Award.

Oh my god, are you saying that Sarah Brellis isn't any Williams Cool Girl Award?

Absolutely?

That is so amazing and I can't wait for the awards. I also want to say shout out to fucking Julia Lester who slad a little red and into the woods and they remember her, and also Ruthie and Miles did the Begger Woman and let me say this as a sort of Asian guy, me, yeah, And that was like a sort.

Of gay guy me. Ruthie is our queen. Ruthie.

Wow, that's amazing.

It's amazing. We intersected, Ruthie, you.

And I, You and I. It's great to have something in common.

Speaking of Cool Girl Award, Speaking of Cool Girl Award and people having things in common.

Our two guests study hosts a podcast.

They hosted the podcast on the huge, major, huge betches platform betch'es up This up.

It's where you get politics, pop culture.

News, topical queendom. The vibe is group chat. It's giving Hey, everyone, gather around, we're talking.

Hey everyone, I'm changing the group chat pick and I'm adding a couple more folks to this.

And you're gonna want to add to contact.

Whenever I see someone be so bold in the group and I'm on record on this, oh yeah, to change the picture, I go go off or just add people, I say, Okay, my god, I can't imagine being so confident something to leave the house. And I think I'm not the person who's going to add people to the.

Group chat today.

Our guests are our guests do it all the time. This is the Betch's Sup Podcast. And you know and love our guests from their other work as well. And listen. One of them is even a return guest on the podcast and the other had the Janellis j Show on the Clown Parade, And I'm telling you that shit made me laugh so funny.

Really really really really well, well I laughed.

Well, you know, we were in Disney and we kept saying, wow, we ate Well I laughed, Well, I laughed. Oh yeah, Janella's together. They are a force, absolutely, and actually they're a threat to us.

Threat. Well, we're very excited they're here, though, very.

Excited they're here.

And there is a category at this year's Cultural Awards it can spoil, which is biggest current threat to us. Yes, I don't know if they're nominated, but I think there's gonna be a lot of sort of let's call it, you know, comedy comedians podcast are definitely threats to us, definitely. Can we have our eye on them and we'll see, we'll see, and we're watch the space, watch the space.

We're so happy they're here. Everyone welcome atlic morale.

Goodnesseration.

I you've threatened us in the past already.

Yeah, it was just off handedly, like I can't remember exactly when, but I'm sure like individually and as a duo. You threatened us like I'm gonna come to your house Bowen.

Do you not remember our first artistic collaboration with me?

And yes, yes, yes it was Rally Williams were to play about the Chilean Miners that we did at the Annoyance Theater.

Latino cast who was the director.

When directed a show with an all LATINX cast. But it was so so funny and.

It was an interactive like sleep, no more like play at the Annoyance.

It was an immersive play.

We took over every room and then in the end we all got out through like the hatch door.

Yeah. So we would re enact the Chilean my collapse every night for every second.

So let's sort of shift the conversation to why you thought you why you thought that it was a good idea for you to take on that responsibility of leading that show.

That's an amazing valid question. Yeah, I know my answer. You know.

Rollie Williams came up to me said, I have this show in mind.

I love when a conversation starts like that.

It's about this, It's about the Chilean miners, And I go, my dad works in mining, I'm the perfect director.

For it, and he said, you're the gay guy to director And that.

Is my only that is the only time I've like really had nepotism work in my favorite you know.

And that's what I'm saying, you know, and that's part of my I don't think so, honey.

She launched into it now.

No, it's like I'm the nepo baby of Dominican hair salons and.

Exactly, yeah, comedy entertainment.

No, but if you want to open a Dominican hair salon cal Florida, I'm your fucking there's royalty in that head. And that's what we're not talking about. No, Stiller, and that's your example. Well, because okay, because the neo babies I'm coming in, come on, we're not ready. They're like, oh, it's the same thing, like oh, if your parents a doctor, then you're a doctor. And it's like, well, first of all, no, second of all, yes, yeah, you know, definitely, my dad's

And I remember you bringing that. It's the hatch.

I was the one who opened that, and no one else could have done that.

If only someone with a father who works in mining could have done.

That, would even know how to hold the call it the lever on the hat.

But we did that show every fucking Saturday for like a year and half, like.

A year and a half.

Crazy, how there are more stories of people falling in those hatches on the street.

Those are everywhere, but one of my topears falling.

Through like one of the greats. Yeah, it's really crazy to think about that. It could happen at any time, and it's something.

The city is full of holes. The city is full of holes. Actually, Ruler coachure number fifty one, this.

City is full of hole.

By right here, you'll notice that I didn't say New York City is full of holes. Every city is full of holes. You have to watch out for where you are stepping or standing and hearing on this podcast right now, because you don't think about this in other cities necessarily as much as New York.

But there are holes everywhere.

And you know what, and that's why we're all desensitized because constantly showing hole on timeline that doesn't mean anything.

I know, I could see this walking outside my apartment.

Excuse me, and guess what. That hole ain't gonna kill me?

Well, you don't know. Wow, well you don't know.

You're right, You're right, coachre blind spots.

Some of these holes are out to kill.

I know firsthand. Well have you ever had hole?

Ever?

Have you ever seen that hole?

No?

You know what. I just read too many revenge ports. I don't play those games. I have pictures and literally anything.

I think like maybe the four of us all before, like I think we all had the sense early on that we were like, let's not let's not pass these.

Oh I didn't have that sense. I was sending a lot.

Of can I say I was not into pictures to the pandemic, And then you know, it was very much a game of like what can I say to this guy to get him to send me a picture of his day?

Right?

And then he's like sort of that.

The whole is like what you have in your cards of death.

But I never do it.

See.

That's the thing though, I don't want a return image. Like whenever I sent photos, I just was like, gaze upon me. I don't need anything in return. And I remember one time a guy sent me something in return, and I was like, yeah, I guess.

The ideal thing is to send a picture of yourself and have the response be somewhere along the lines of like fuck or like fuck babe, like wow, or like holy shit. And then if you get send something back from a guy, what you're getting is a dick.

Pic right right.

And I'm not blown away by dick. I've never really been like.

A There's some good ones, but I'll say this. One time I set a picture of me in a bra and the guy friend zoned me.

So because.

No, He's like, you know what, you're a really great friend. And I'm like, okay, I'm never doing this again.

Picture of you and a bra. Like it was just the bra and nothing else.

It was my face and me and a nice bra, and he was like, hey, we're good friends. The thing about being friend zoned by a straight man is that when you're friend zoned by a straight man, they'll still fuck you. But that is what friendship is straight men. It is like, we're still go in a bug. You're just my friend. And also it's so hard dating straight man. We can go into that, but it's just the whole thing.

I would like to go into it because I feel like I've lost touch. I genuinely want to get back in.

Well, you've been with for many.

I know I'm married to one here, I committed myself to one, and I was just thinking that I have like one ancient nude on my phone and the person who receives that nude is now my husband.

So there you go with that.

You will, So you're saying if I'm just sort of like excavate what you're saying here, you've sent nudes to only one man.

No, I've sent I've sent nudes before, but I only have one nude on.

My phone that I keep because I really thought it was a good one and I angles are great and check it out.

The flashing of it really is good.

Emerald band reader, it's beautiful. This one's for you.

Actually, we got it off Jared dot Com previously used collections WHOA.

And you know.

Someone either died or divorced and now it's mine.

And I'll just say this, you know me in a lease. Two Latina women, really funny, know a lot about the news, really well informed. Our only toxic trait is that we're straight.

Unfortunately, but even toxic when you know how to handle it.

You know what I mean, We know how to handle being straight. I don't find it to be toxic.

At all.

So how does someone not know how to handle being.

Straight the same way that someone can bear? A gay guy can barely handle being a gay.

Guy because like I imagine, imagine you saw me out of the bar, you didn't know who I was, and I'm sort of moving over to you.

Like a gay guy.

Because then is that the Babba duke?

That is, when gay men are acting like the Baba duke, they're like okay, they can't handle it, and when stray people are it's like the opposite, right, So the gay guy, he's sort of coming over to you like this, just get to the point and get over here and say what you need to say.

So much like, first of all, well, first of all, I'm in a gay club. They're like okay, Jennifer Hudson, and I'm like, okay, God, okay, Jennifer Hunt. Listen, that is happened. It's happened.

This is what we're saying. Gay guys don't know. So then tell me about the streets. Straight this is what they do.

They come in and amble over and they take up a lot of immediately, at least gays know to like only take up some rooms.

Gay guys are baba dukes. Straight guys are like the.

Minions, so many of them.

Yeah, it's very Can we talk about the Minions phenomenon because I don't think we ever have.

Okay, the minions are only men. The guys that created the Minions are like, there are no female minions because minions are stupid and women would never This is literally quotable, like, fucking look it up.

There are no Minion reproduction, I guess, Or does that guy just.

Create that guy created No, it's okay.

I think we all have this blind spot in different ways, but like, how do they get created? Well, the Minions movie is a prequel to Despicable Meat before Groo finds.

Them, he finds before they go to groove?

Is it?

Yeah, it basically is. But they're all men.

Oh my god, Wait you know what I just realized?

Minions is ripped off from the Yep, guys, Wait a second.

Yep, let's talk about it.

Let's fucking got the guy who created Despicable Me is.

His name is Sinko Paul. He's wonderful, created schmigger dude.

So what you're saying is we have to walk this back.

No, no, don't walk it back. We walk what back mallans is.

It is an interesting thing because I guess it's one of those things where it's like Republican, No, it's Facebioper, it's Facebook, where it's like I created it, No, I created it.

What we need is we need to get to typing again so we can have the Minions social network.

What's dominions?

What's the monologue for the Minion social network?

Moawyer up, asshole?

Yes, well you know it's like it's not Rooney Mara but Kate Marra and a scene like dumping him by being like and all you're ever going to be is been not a loving freak.

And so he's like, how do I take.

This banana in salt and make it into sorry but a franchise frand.

Yeah, and then like hearing somebody speak Spanish, not understanding what they're saying, it's like what if there were mine? Because half of the half of the little when the minions are mumbling, half of those words are Spanish. And I'm like, really, is this racist? We can't unpack, we can't unpack, we can't go there.

God, I have you and I have let's just say been racist? No, no, no, I'm sure, thank you but but Matt and I have done. I don't think so Honey's in different city. I don't think someone shows in different cities. There was someone who, unfortunately did I don't think so many minions. So it is a well meaning, I guess, white woman who said, we all know that they're supposed to be Asian people. And I was like, wait a minute, they're seeing an Asian language, aren't they.

But you know what, I don't want a victim blame here, but trying to find fifty unproblematic comedians in each major city a challenge.

It wasn't that she was, it's her interpretation of minions was like, wait, no, they're not supposed.

To be.

I do love a well we all know, and I'm saying something completely fucking nuts like that is.

That's happy TikTok.

That is half a TikTok. Really the dumbest person you ever met, putting on makeup, saying the dumbest shit you ever heard in your fuck.

And then they're also proud of that because they're like the thing about TikTok is people just really respond when you just don't care and it's like, here's the thing about creating content when you hashtag just don't care, is that you're gonna say some shit that like you're barely thinking about and but you are still responsible for, and then it gets tiktoked out into the world and there you go.

Well, that's the thing about like, that's the thing that sucks about Twitter being dead is that like it's just like it's so much easier to type of you fucking words and someone might screenshot it, but it's just less. It's just like, Okay, now, if I want to make a joke or something, I'm gonna have to fucking make a video editing on fifty filters, have some guy call me a fat hoo eight times, and.

Then like have a gig guy be like, okay, Jennifer HUD's okay.

Jennifer Hudson. And then it's just like this is so much effort. So it's like for you to keep up, the way that you keep up with the algorithm is you have to make a lot of shit. And then after I make a lot of shit, it's like the hashtag just don't care. But then you just don't care. You're gonna say some dumb shit shit, and then while you know, you know, you're like, let me tell you about this girl's like, let me talk about the worst fucking date I went on. He let the door close

Fucking TikTok or just pop up on.

Because I'm listening, like you're making sense, and then then I find out at the.

End of the video that you're twenty two. Yeah right.

I was very disturbed the other day because I, you know, I'm scrolling through TikTok and I got a girl. I mean, she was clearly twelve years old because it was get ready with me to go to a bat mitzvack, and I was just like, I can't.

I can't because.

Ohso the fact that like a person of bot mits for age is like a makeup experts, I know. I guess that's the That's another thing for me is like when you peek into TikTok and you peek into like gen Z or like super young culture, it's like they look so much older than they are. I think because like and That's why the twenty two year old of it all sneaks up on you is because oh, these are kids, like young kids, but they look thirty two.

What age is everyone trying to look like? Twenty nine?

That's actually a really cool.

I would say twenty seven.

Yeah, I think that twenty seven, that's yeah. True.

There's a girl who this is I mean, and this is like symbolism to everything, symbolism. Ready this girl. I was watching her get ready for her little fucking tryouts for this Alabama like dance team for a college. And

Yeah.

So I'm watching this bitch get like beat her face, talk about this weary outfits whatever, and then someone's like show us the tryout like you know whatever, and each thing is getting like three hundred thousand likes. When you finally see this bitch dance, You're like, girl, spend an hour less the pat you.

Know, and you gotta go to nursing school.

Yeah, not even nursing school. Just rehearse the dance more and do less makeup. And I feel like that's that's half of the thing with TikTok and me and Alsa have been in the game for a while and we talk about it. No shade, you know, this is now. We're gonna keep it real.

But keep it, keep it fucking real.

You know, there are people that you know, the pandemic happened, and then you get out of the pandemic and I'm doing shows and I've been fucking doing comedy, doing comedy over ten years, yep. I get somewhere pack fucking theater and this person just bombs. And I'm saying this person because it's like like this is a multiple people bombs, and I'm just like, yo, what the fuck looks great? Looks great, feet, feet, banging face, beat, whatever looks great?

Young comedian who's listening to this?

It's done a show with Melee sweating bullets.

I And the thing is, though, like I've reserved my eye or less for them and more for like the fact that like it has become like sort of acceptable enough to be like, well, they cut their teeth on TikTok. We know that they're a certain level of influencer. But then it's like, yeah, I guess that's good for the show because it puts butts in seats, are good for

A week, like it's it makes you good at it.

And so these people that had to come during the pandemic, like I'm actually even more blown away when they actually are good because yes, they don't have stage time.

They don't they don't have the hours.

And I don't have ire for them. I'm just like and like people do like a copy pasting of like, oh this thing with this person, Like they're good at Instagram, They're going to TikTok. I'm gonna copy them and do this myself. And it's like you still have to do the thing, honey, Like you still have to show up and do these like three shows or at least like put a little bit into the art.

Pay four grand for improv lessons we did go up every week. Don't get paid?

Do sol?

You know? That an interesting question though, that aren't we also let me did that because like I don't I.

Don't don't regret it. I kind of threw that away, but I don't regret it.

But I do think like there wasn't I don't know that it was set up the best way and that's okay.

Well, I don't regret it, but I do look back on it and go like it's fucking nuts that we.

Were doing so much for free.

And and once it actually shifted to people starting to put up their own shows where it's like, oh, you can get a cut at the door, like just once that like mental shift happened. It's so wild to think back on the time where it's like, no, but it's right that we're doing all of this for free and the shows are sold out.

But no, it's good, it's good.

I guess I have a different experience with it because I think that it wasn't set.

Up in a way we're talking about the way and then pay it like theater schools and.

The theater system, but it's just like it was set up in a way that made you think that if this place doesn't fuck with you, and if and if you didn't make it here, you'in't you ain't shit. And the thing that I personally had a problem with as a performer is like a lot of those people did not get me. They didn't get what I was putting down. They didn't get my energy. It was like a thing that they never see.

You know.

A lot of the people making decisions were white men, white women, and it was like I was coming with a different energy and all that stuff, and I didn't fit into what they thought, you know, so I just was never like fostered into the you know, it wasn't like let I see who you are, and I'm gonna make you into the best version or like the funniest version, or here's the fundamentals, or this is a place where you can learn these fundamentals of comedy that you can

It's not like this thing anyway, the developmental track is not guaranteed or it's like if you can't clear a certain stage gate, then like you kind of are left to like your own devices. And I think, like, at least with someone who like went off on her own and like started her own shows.

And you were always doing, We're always doing, you were.

Well a lot of it was because of some of the stuff Milly was saying, because I like I got to a certain place within the UCB system. Lloyd Knight, thank you so much. That's junior varsity improp. And but then like I started pitching to the theater and they would never put my like original ideas up really, so then I was like, Okay, well I'm gonna start putting my shows up elsewhere. And then I was like, oh, I'm actually getting money.

Even if it was a little bit of money, it was something and like literally saying at least your dinner and cab could have been paid for that, which was so you know, it felt really bad.

It did, it did.

And one nice thing that I will say is that I've done a couple improv shows in the post pandemic environment, and I think the vibe is really good.

Good and it's because the hierarchies have been burned down.

Well, yeah, they are trying to come back, but in right now, right now, there's like I think, a good energy where it's like no one's trying to get on, like yeah, there's no you're not really trying to get anything out of it.

It's all it's all love of the game.

And also the thing is when you say they're trying to come back, I feel like, you know what good try and come back. But also with knowing what you know as an organization, like whatever organization you're at, if you're some if you're rebuilding now in the Year of Our Lord twenty twenty three, like understand that you need to build from a diverse and like welcoming and like well rounded place and not just like restore what was because look like, of course the pandemic was a huge

But also I don't think that was the only reason. I honestly think like.

There's a lot of reasons.

Yeah, tons of reasons.

And like we all started feeling like power in numbers for people who felt like they were talented but not feeling like they had a place in a certain area, and they were amazing people.

That are like I can say, like I think the people that are like Coterie Millia whatever.

Yeah, everyone was so good. So may people are doing so well.

Like whenever I realized like the first place that I met like Darcy Carden, you know what I mean, like was when she was hosting like Backyard Brawl at Midnight, which was the sketch competition u s B. That was I believe on like a Monday at midnight or something or like yeah whatever our Friday maybe it was a Friday or Saturday night, but like a late night show.

Like lol, like a bit.

But then like also they did it, they did, you know what I mean, And then they also went on to become iconic.

And I do think that that that Abby and Alana never made it on a house team, yeah, is why our improv grade ultimately generation was so like personally motivated to do other stuff and start other shit and do this and that and the other thing because we had this like big example, well yeah.

And not needing to make it in the hierarchy exactly. And I mean I think that like they get on university and practic I.

Well, I think it's just like with the energy of like these people do not fuck with me, These people don't see me. What can I do? Can I kill myself to try to like make fit in their mold, or can I just go do my own thing or start my own shit. And it's a lot of people are like, you know what, I'm just gonna do my own shit. I'll get money, I'll get twenty dollars at the end or like I'll create it, you know. I mean that's like half of my shit is like how

To gatekeep right, and there's people talking about us.

Yeah, yeah, we're talking about you guys.

How are we going to handle this?

How are we going to handle that? They just want to gate keep so much, I know, but it's like, you know, my whole ethos is like how can I make it easier for the people after me? And also like as a teacher, it's like I'm not going to try to change anybody's shit. I just want to make see what people are giving me and and make that better, like you know, like bring out what you're trying to say, you know, in this stand up set and see if you can say it more efficiently or something like that.

I mean, I'm pretty to the question it's a full time job exactly. And then especially when that comes to the time and this is okay. I always felt a certain type of way about people that did not have to work as a rival job or I did not have to be.

Grinding, because I was just like oof, like it's and it's it's no one can.

Whatever, Like I don't know what this even means.

No one would, no one would like avoid that kind of thing of like, oh gosh, I'm in a cushy situation.

Let me actually like reject you.

Let me foss away this privilege and this like blessing I've been given, which is all this time, but it is different. And I also I just remember the idea that we had to constantly pay and obviously like this is part of the cutting teeth of it all, which is just like I would work all my shifts at the restaurant so I could make sure I could pay rent and pay for a UCP class and then my bank account would go down to like twenty dollars and I would start again that literally.

In checking so much and like well, first of all, I was also hopping the turnstile at First Avenue.

Great turnstyles, the MTA, the great one. You still do that, and I do it just for the thrill.

I worked, so, I mean most of my jobs were like after school programs or like nannying, because they gave me, like the mourn. It was like a good time period to be working because you're just it's in the afternoon, but you get out in time for shows.

But I also worked crazy weird side hustles.

I worked for this like company that sold Broadway tickets and it was just now they're like a legit company, but I was there when they were like in their startup era, and they would hand me two thousand dollars in cash. I would go to Time Square. Oh, I would go to Times Square. Someone would use the app and like I think the person who was using the app would think like a purchase was automatically being made,

Was really really crazy.

And I remember one time, like the CEO was in the office and he started grilling me, being like, what are you going to say if they ask if you're with our company? And I'm like, I don't know. Am I supposed to say I'm not with the company? Like I guess it was a secret for some reason. And then I ultimately did have to quit that job because they made me work on Thanksgiving, which you know happens.

Wow.

My crazy Times Square job is that I worked at Dave and Busters Square as a photographer.

So he was a creative.

So I would go up to tables. I would work David Muster's Time Square, Dallas BBQ, Times Square and the Dallas BBQ and Chelsea Ratchet as hell, go up to tables and.

Be like, oh, I'm doing a promotion.

Can I take your picture? Take the picture, print it onto a keychain? And then I try to hustle them back, like get money, and like there were so many rules and like I couldn't say this cost to start, there was like a way because basically, if you say this for tip, people will just give you a dollar. And I have to from whatever I make that day, I have to give somebody a cut. This woman I've never met gave me the camera, who gave me the printing, surprise, whatever.

Time, Yeah, isn't funny. It's like it's like that gets you like a margin into what your rent is. But like I'm thinking back to it, that would have felt like one hundred dollars would have been like actually, yeah.

No, that was like all my extra ship. So that's what I'm doing right, I'm working nine to five in a fucking office, people treating me like shit. Then I go to a fucking Time Square on Saturday and worked the stupid ass job. And then after work once a week, I would do these improv practices and I'm paying, paying the coach, paying the place, and the people I'm with like, I'm like, oh, what'd you do this week? And they're like, oh, yeah, you know, just hung out.

Yeah.

And then and then like I'm like, yoh wait, how does this girl pay rent?

Yeah?

And then it's like they don't. Oh, her dad copyrighted. Yeah, a term that's used to her dad copyrighted and march madness, and.

I'll just never forget.

Like going to n Yu, yeah, literally going especially going to NYU were like I guess I didn't understand because growing up like very working class on Long Island, like I wasn't around just like wealthy people. Yeah, and like like I would have friends that lived on like the South Shore of Long Island that like had money, and you knew it because you could see their homes. Then you go to school and you can't see people's homes where they come from. Like, yeah, I kind of like

Yeah, and like how many rich people are in Ohio? Like right, I like it, just like how does everyone fuch?

And You're like, I mean, I guess if this is all you know, then it's all you know. But like I'm seeing it and I'm calling it out. And whenever I found someone at that school that was also like from a background like me, we always connected about it totally.

But like, I guess that's part of coming up in comedy and a place like New York where it's like it is kind of this big like hodgepodge of like people from different classes and mocks and like all this stuff, and you're like, oh, it is sort of an eye opening thing. I feel like there was an awaking for me after college once I started taking UCB classes where I was like, oh, like yeah, there's a whole other yeah, of people who like live completely different lines, right.

I would overdraft constantly, yeah yeah, all the time. Yeah yeah.

And it was such so shameful, like to have to like go to someone and ask for money or like you know, ask for like it's just like I remember my parents, Like I think it was two times I allowed myself to like go back and ask them for money because I was always my I always wanted to do it myself because duh, like you know what I mean, Like you want to feel like, especially in your mid to late twenties, like even though you know you picked

Yeah.

Yeah, I genuinely do feel bad for truly anyone even slightly younger than us going through the pandemic. Like I feel so bad for college kids who had to go If I had had to go fucking home and live with.

My mom and during that time college, forget.

I would have gone insane.

And then in those first years, yeah, where it's like I needed a like service job, I was nannying or whatever, like I couldn't just lose my job. Talking about all this reminds me that I when I first moved to New York, I got a stupid credit card that it should never have been given to me, and I cash advanced my rent for like a while, and I just paid that bit job.

Ten years in the making.

So god, well, and.

That's normal or abnormal, you know.

Well, I'll just say that, like during the pandemic, I was teaching virtually like comedy classes, and a good thing was Like what you're saying is there were people I don't know. I'm just like, yeah, I think that they're missing. There was something they missed out on, which is like the community, which I think that is what the theater

I mean back and like these young girls out here, any young girls, I think that like what I observe of them is that they have like a very tight community. Yeah. I feel like I watched over them. I'm on Instagram store and I'm.

Like God, and they're all like starting and again they're starting from a place. I mean, in some ways I'm like, oh, they missed, But in another way, it's like, oh, they're already starting with like this consciousness of like I don't need this old white guy to tell me that I'm not funny. I'm gonna make my own shows and I'm gonna do my own ship, and I'm gonna dress pretty and I'm gonna look nice, and I'm gonna do my

Or you don't know this episode of The Simpsons I'm and it's.

Like, oh, this is you know what I mean.

Name the sex and the City girls, name.

Fu living single girl, name any Latino like you don't give a ship about when talking about culture, that's like my barrier of entry to be able to do this comedy formed this art form that has nothing to do with specifics.

There's literally just like a plus peak.

We'll see. That's the comedy formula. And all I needed to know was that. And you're telling me I have to know white male culture to be able to engage with it, but you don't have exactly I have to read the Hobbit and Jack out to the Lord of the Rings, but you don't have to know any of my ship. You don't have to know anything about South Florida. You have to go anything about the Caribbean or Latin

Yeah.

This is the perfect segue into asking Millie because we've not asked me, and then we do hear at least once in adendum.

I mean, yeah, million, what is the culture that made you say cultures?

For me?

I'm sure someone said this, but the Muppets.

Yeah, well, we were just talking about the Mappets when we were in Orlando.

Yeah, we were in Hollywood studios and we were walking by a sculpture of a fountain of Miss Piggy dress as the statue, which.

Is exactly how she deserves to be immortal.

Yeah.

Well, so my parents, my dad, I mean, I don't have to get super into this, but I'm one of six kids. I'm number five. So when my four brothers and sisters were all living in Harlem, in East Harlem, it was like the eighties and it was not great in New York City, so my mom and my dad did long distance. My mom went back to Dominican Republic with my four siblings, and my dad lived in New York because he made really good money as a graphic

Is my favorite, one of the great and.

Honestly though we're talking about like that was a thing where it was like wow. You know, as a kid, you're like, I like puppets and all this stuff, and as an adult you watched that movie and it's literally about making it in New York City. They think that they're gonna they're like, oh, they're the best in their college and they come to Manhattan and they're like we're gonna be on Broadway in two weeks and they're like eat shit, they and it's just like wow. And you know,

And the thing too is just like it was such smart sketch comedy in that it was so simple and that also like the characters never exhausted, like they were always funny, like because they all had very clear specific games that they were playing, like loll game. But it

Well, yeah, the guy who you know, Jim Henson. Yeah, like the Muppets for a while had like one season where they did SNL so like yeah in the seventies, and then he like absorbed all the SNL and then they went to London and made that Muppets Tonight show, yes, which is like, yeah, it is like literally sketch comedy.

I did one episode of Helpsters, which is a Jim Henson production, and it was so cool to see like the actors who do the buppets like they're in character the entire time in a way that's really really awesome. And it was like the most amazing environment. I worked with a live parrot named Sarah. Live parrot was real and her name was Sarah, and.

She was wonderful.

They like brought her to my trailer so that we could get to know each other, and like I put her on my shoulder and we walked around and I was like, all right, Sarah.

Is no joke, Pavy actually on your shoulder.

And I did actually need the practice walking around with the parrot, and I did feel very like I felt like I was walking very slowly and deliberately.

Well yeah, because if you're on TV not holding the animal correctly or like that, that really makes a lot of people just widely nervous. I remember like when I hosted Hot Dog and Beyond that same built into the schedule before we would shoot time for me to like hold the dogs.

Yeah, be with the dogs.

It was literally like Matt plays with the dogs for twenty minutes so they would understand who I was and I would learn how to hold them because if you're on TV holding an animal, crazy the audi.

Yeah.

Well, also I did this show, this pilot that never aired, but it was like so crazy and they needed like three people on staff. I'm sure like you're saying, working with animals is no joke, Like the three people like the animal experts, right, that have to be there because it was like kind of a Disney shoot and there

Yeah, I don't think so hony like war scenes and like fantasy shows or whatever, or any show where it's like the horses have to fall, Oh my god, like how do you.

I also feel that way with like babies hysterically crying. Oh, whenever a baby is hysterically crying in a movie, I'm like, all right, what you'll have to do? At what point are we like that's a little human or any living being that's in distress.

You know, some actors won't do movies at all where there's where there's animals.

Yeah, animals or yeah, I don't know about children, but animals like people like.

They're like, yeah, I kind of get that, that kind of like ruefully.

No, Well, my whole thing, my whole philosophy is that there are no child prodigies. They're just mentally ill adults pushing their kids to fucking act because that shit is like, I mean, there are kids who are naturally talented blah blah blah, but you really do need like a every fucking autobiography from a child actor is like my mom.

Myself fucked up, like she is just there is just like that's that's another thing I think about in terms of like the privilege of it all. It's like you also had to be if you're someone who came to college ready with an agent or something and god bless whatever. But I'm just saying, like my my I was a little kid who was like interested in acting, Like I always wanted to do this, but my.

Parents didn't have time to take me.

I didn't have time to like, you know, be involved in things because everyone was just doing their best to.

Like, dude, day we barely like we're talking about doing self tapes and all this shit balancing like it's so hard. I had a nephew who, like there was some online thing and he, you know, he was seven at the time. He lived in the Bronx, and he got cast for like a gogurt commercial thing or something for like new media.

Like no, I have my own dreams, and then later.

And then I dreams and then like now he's twelve or thirteen, and he brought up casually, like over this holiday. He was like, yeah, I really liked acting, but I guess I wasn't good enough to do it. And I was, well, I was a little high, so I was like I was laying down in the bed because I got too high for my cousin's vabe And he's like yeah, and we had like this heart to heart and I'm like, no, honey,

Into until yeah, you can make your own sacrifices. Yeah, like that's when, Yeah, it's a weird, weird line.

Yeah, in some way.

A little known part of my origin story is that I lived in la until I was twelve, so and while I was out there, I was a little kid who was really interested in acting. So I went to like Lee Straussberg, Yeah, and we did the Hobbit as a play so I am familiar. And then I did this like kids Comedy Connection thing that was like an improv thing for kids and all that people would come to.

It all the time.

I was just thinking about it, and the big thing that like I personally was like Mom, you should like make me do it. Like there were like other kids who was like parents had agents and we're doing all this stuff, and my parents were just like, no, we have lives, right, We're not Like my mom was like I work, your dad works.

We're not spent.

Like we'll send you to these after school things because you like them, but we are not gonna be hustling you all over downtown and doing all this shit, like we don't have that kind of time.

Well, even like after school things I used to do baton.

Oh I love it, Come on, you know, were you good?

No?

I think I was good at the dancing thing, but not like the actual baton, But like even to do like after school things. Your parent has to pick you up from school, drop you off. The competition that this, and not the disposable income to get you the new universe. It's just like there's a lot of things, a lot just to even be the basic like whatever.

Yeah, I remember watching all that and like Disney Channel and everything, And we were just in Disney World last week and I was thinking to myself, like they would shoot there, they would out which I think got lost and like I feel like when I was little, I always thought like, oh, these kids they live at like Universal Studios or ny World.

That must be so fun.

And then you see like the backstage of those places, and it's just like this is not really a place for a kid, which is really the whole thing with those theme parks, right, they project all this stuff for tourism, and then when you get there, it's like either a

It's complicated to child.

Well.

Yeah, also I like to think that like we're all gonna make it. I mean, we all have great careers. But it's like then now you have this experience of like hustling and working hard that you can relate to, you know, and then also like grit, which is like you do need grit even if like that's the thing too, is like I used to get really jealous of like people, you know, like we're talking about people who didn't have

Like constantly eating shit you have always, which.

Is just something. And then also like yeah, like I know what it is to work in an office or this and that or whatever, like I have these steaks so I'm able to write, perform whatever from this place of wanting yeah, wanted it bad, but also like having this universal experience which not a lot of people were, like grew up in this industry, is like don't know that, like what it's like to have a real job or not care.

Yeah, that's what makes Alison Williams and her name's like for the cool girl the world because she did the one thing that I wish more people would do, which is just to be like when she's confronted with the NEPO baby of it all, she's like.

Yes, and I love what she said.

The one Happens Live. She was like, look like totally I had advantages. And the way I think about it is she was like I started on third base. Yeah, other people started her home base like that's the thing.

It's like yeah, she literally and she also said this line which I thought was good, which was I get it. It's less fun to root for me than other people. I completely understand that, but I do work hard and so whatever. And so I was like, yeah, good, don't be annoyed that people are pointing out the fact that you started out. It's how it's how the world works. Just acknowledge it. That's really all people are asking.

And that's for me.

Acknowledge me is just like just to say like, yeah, I did, I did have all this stuff, but like I do work hard, and a lot of those people do work hard or like are talented. Like it's not necessarily about talent or whatever, it's just about like the acknowledgement.

Well, I think that when a system makes it seem like it's a meritocracy or the people who work the hardest or the whatever are the ones that get it, And it's like really not, you know, I think that's

You know what it is?

It's like it's like, you know what it is, Like the entertainment industry is so publicly merit based or pretends like we have the Oscars or all these award shows, and we talk so much about what does well or doesn't do well, and so we have this idea out there that like this is a business that rewards the best in its field.

Extremely publicly.

And when that is true, that would be fine if every industry was like that, but obviously not all industries are as public as this one. And so because this industry is just like other industries, which is like, oh, it was a family business, et cetera. Like the reason why it's annoying for the entertainment industry for these people who are nepple babies to be like, well, it's a family business. And no one says anything about doctors who

And it's also like the people who are voting like publicly awarning you are your dad's best friends. And also like it's on a board of white people that are like only care well, like you know, again the whole Andrea Risebarrow of it all, you know what I mean of like five white people have to say that you're great for you to even be concerned, you know what I mean? And it is not it's not a meritocracy, and that's fine, that's what it is. But it's like, don't play it off like.

It it is.

And I think that's don't play in our faces, don't play in our faces.

Before we move on and think so money, I think we need to give the word too. We need your okay, okay.

So I have an addendum to my original answer because when we did this part the podcast like seven years ago, my answer was, Harry Potter, you guys actually didn't even ask the question.

We just don't know.

That was in the day when we were like like okay, So I guess we went into the episodes being like we're going to talk about.

This, yes, And while that is still true, I cannot be officially associated with the franchise any longer.

So it's tough. It's tough. It's a long conversation show about I.

Wonder like how because we've talked about this as this has become a progressing story, the jk rowling of it all, and Joanna Kathleen is of course sort of growing more nefarious.

By the day.

Yeah, she aligns herself with the forces of darkness more and more every single statement. It's very, very, very upsetting, and it is genuinely like it is something that has coused me genuine emotional pain, right of course, because you know they're like whatever the kids on like TikTok and Twitter or whatever will be like read another book, and it's like, totally, I can read another book.

I can't read another book as a nine year old, right, you can't.

You can't. I can't.

Like, that's just that lives where it lives.

And at the end of the day, like I do still think the books themselves are a beautiful piece of work. I think that there is really explicit messaging in there about acceptance and loving people. It doesn't have a very like nineties ethos behind it, yes, but like, yeah, that's what that's where, Yeah, exactly, like it lives in the nineties.

That's when it was made.

It's not gonna progress or change from there, because it's a written down book. But the fact that the creator has refused to progress or change, and actually I think has regressed as a person, Yeah, that is extremely unfortunate. And it is as much as like, I will never not love the books. No one can take that from me.

Yes.

So with that said, my addendum, my new answer, I decided, I said, Okay, what is something that affected me before Harry Potter even got into my little brain? What is a piece of media that really got me before I even had gone dog or yeah.

Before before that envelope, even a ride by owl to private Drive?

And the answer is be.

I get that.

Yeah, was owner Writer an iConference?

Absolutely?

Yeah, when that moment where she's just like I myself strange and unusual, just like something has changed within me.

Yeah, she really was, Like between that movie between Heathers, like someone recently mentioned, like her back in the day when Wena was exploding, as like the thing about it is it's like it's one of those things that's like film entities like or types of performer that just arrives and you sort of assume like that they were always there or like there was always a blueprint for that, Like no writer was an original girl interrupted.

Yeah, I also was a big little women that one really me and my mom would watch it every Christmas.

I love Little Women in Atlanta or.

So, yes, that is my answer.

Beetlejuice. Okay, I think Beetlejuice is a Valentine's Day movie.

You do?

It is the ultimate love story, the red recip the end. Well, no, it's like the couples like they love each other so much. They're like fucking going through Helen back and all this stuff, and they lived and they whatever, and they stay in the house and they're together, and I'm like, this is a Valentine. This is a love story.

Alec and Gina and of course Icona Catherine O'Hara.

Yes, and her outfits. That's how I want to dress.

I was like kind of a Macobs little child, and like everything about it imprinted on me. My mom went into labor with my little sister while we were watching Beetle Juice as a family.

Wow, she's the beetle baby, but she also well I do remember like.

Not really understanding what was going on and being like, well, it was the part where he turns into a snake, which is a really really scary part where he's the banister and he's a snake.

Yeah, and my Mom was like, Felix, we have.

To go to the hospital, and I was like, you associated it.

Yeah, yes, Like that moment is like seared into my brain. And also I was like, well, but the movie's not over, and this is a really good part of the movie.

Yeah, that is gonna stick in your head. Yeah, when mom's having the baby during bedle.

And you know what's cool, it's like creative new. I p like, they don't do that anymore. It's all fucking they don't even try. They don't even try, you know, it's just like fucking new. And then now there's a show and there's like it's just I don't know, it's.

Just like you must have been horny for this. Michael Keaton come back.

Then, I mean I wish him all the best always I do best, best beetlejuice.

Batman, best beetle Juice.

There was a cartoon.

There was a cartoon. There was a best bird Man, Best Batman. I guess what you know, Guy Fieri? I think, listen, you're at a are No, no, no, let me set the scene. Let's see set the scene, because I know everyone has an answer for this, okay, but it's like, who's the person who you know? Not necessarily like, oh, this guy's so sexy, but I'm like, this guy tucks game.

You know who's mine?

Who's yours?

Adrian Brodie he's cute though, but yes, but you know what he's got that like big old nose. He's got like the weird he's very skinny, like you know what I mean, you can tell he's like not really someone that like is classically handsome, but there's something about him I find so hot.

But okay, this might be too explicit, but he has that pussy nose where it's like when the nose is big like that, You're like.

Great, this is great for eating.

That's straight man, that's straight culture, a big ass, You're like pussy nose.

I mean, I have a good bu all that you're knows him. It's not quite the same, not the same, but key but okay, Adrian Brodie. But you know Adrian Brody has Game. You know he has definitely spitting game.

Somebody who has Game?

Who is game?

Boeing. I can't think of someone, I really can.

I know, I'm like trying to rack my brand for who I would say that's on the level of guy here.

Tomorrow you're gonna text me. But there's some Yeah, some people have Game, and I'm like, guy, here is game?

Damn right.

I never thought about that, but now I'm not gonna stop thinking.

He gives like pretzel machines to different high schools to like raise. Instead of like giving a school two thousand dollars, he buys them a pretzel machine so like at all their like events, they can like fundraise.

And he's very smart about the way he likes quote unquote gives back in terms of like food and in terms of the things that he clearly loves.

Yes, he's an amazing person.

So I'm saying, if he's like spinning game at a bar, I'm going to flavor.

To speaking of it, speaking of his time.

I don't think so, honey.

This is our sixty second segment where we take some time to enjoy the view, just kidding, rail against something in culture that needs it, that needs to be railed, like all over us, and then we'll go, yeah, let's start with natural.

So I have something that I witnessed in Disney World.

And I just feel like I have to speak on it on the last day.

On the last day, you know, you know, because I pointed it out and I said, this has been I don't think, so, honey, don't let me forget, and I haven't.

I didn't remind you, but I'm glad you didn't forget. It is Matt Rodgers. I don't think so many time starts now.

I don't think so, honey, mothers and their sons being too sexual. Like if I see you standing in mine a Disney World and you're looking like a couple and you're a mother and a son, stop like stop separate and just literally, we need like that junior prom rule of like between mothers and sons, like you need there needs to be two bodies between you.

A couple of these mothers and sons.

I saw like the son would have his hand around his muther there's waste, and she would have her hands around like his neck. And I'm like mother and son, I understand, we're like close, and like I understand the contest of mommy's boy, like I get it, like I was a MoMA's boy when I.

Was little and still identify as that.

But like when you're being romantic with your mother or you're in a position that's romantic, it has to stop. I also, I'm sorry, don't love kissing on the mouth between parents and children. I understand this is their own thing, but it's just like I'm not ascribing any weird value to it. I'm just saying, it's just like the mouth feels like it's for lovers. I think we should save the mouth for lovers and romance and sexuality. Mothers and sons separate.

And that's one minute.

I don't think, no, no, no, it's getting Matt Rogers does not Oedipus, not here.

No, I just it's something that just like I don't know what it is. It's just like I feel and people should express, you know, affection whatever. I love that And maybe this is me just responding to I think as I get older, like being less and less of a tack dial person. But I'm just like, I don't know. I see it in some situations and I'm like, that's your son. I think you don't need to be touching like the small of his back. I know, and I noticed it several times.

And talk about another challenge of dating straight men. They love their mommy, and everyone's looking for mommy and mother a mom they can cheat on, that's what they're.

Looking I really, I really like when a parental relationship is too close.

I get the.

Yeah they kiss on the mouth, will lose me every time. Yeah, I don't understand real.

Chill when people like what about like people who would like tell their parents like, oh I just had sex less like like like you know what I mean, Like even in high school people would drink with their parents like oh the cool mom.

Yeah.

I feel like when we were younger too, like probably when we were all in high school or middle school and stuff like that, like was really a thing that

But it just I crossed the shame.

I crossed a line that like y'all embracing in this way where it's like, you know, bodies fully facing each other.

Like I don't know, I think in.

The lobby we checked out of the hotel that day, it was the sun had his arms up around how old, how old he was?

Thirteen? It was tough. It was tough. I read it the same way.

Yeah, right, And it's like, I guess that has to be a weird transition, right from like you're the mother of this child, you like obviously clean the baby, like you know, you're holding the baby, you're rearing the baby, You're.

Like obsessed with the baby.

That's the baby.

But then like as it gets older, it says like, I don't know, once.

He's old enough to get a boner, yeah, there has to be something has to change.

Yeah, yeah, yes, just something I noticed bowen Yang, Devin, I don't think so, honey.

They do, and it is a little self indulgent, but I have to say this because it really really bothered.

I don't think so, honey, met ye, I know, right, I think you've done me before I have all right, well, this is bowen Yang's I don't think so, honey, it's time starting out.

I don't think so, honey. Peacock, you know, I love you, Peacock.

But Peacock on May first, the first day of a PI Heritage month, put me front center on their AA p I Voices collection or whatever, next to Crystal Kung Minkoff in the Rock. And then I found and people are sending me photos all day like look, look, I'm like, oh, that's so nice.

Then I find out that there is.

A Bowen Yang collection on people that features you know, my skepches or whatever. Then I'm like, I had no input in and what was featured in this, and not that they had to like consult me.

But I go, I don't want. I don't want people seeing that sketch. And it's the thing where I'm like, you know, not all sketches are gonna be hits.

You're gonna get some DUTs no matter who you are, no matter what fifteen theory we were on in the show.

But I don't want.

And there's some sketches that I'm like, why is that above the fold? Why is that in this row or that row? And I go, yeah, yay.

Collection sounds like a Bad Coals clothing line for gay boys.

I don't. I don't think so, honey. And that's a minute.

First of all, I love the Bonyang Collection, but I do understand.

I love Peacock, and everyone over at NBC knows that I'm a company man. I will keep we love but the Bony Collection to shock me.

On it's real close number one.

But I will say I did go on Peacock last night to watch vander Pump, your face popping up immediately you were the It's so jarring sometimes where I'm like, oh, there's him right away.

And We've been at least four different conversations this past week. I've been like, Peacock's my number one streamer, Peacocks the streamer I used the most.

I mean the other day, Oh yeah, she.

Said, she said, but you know, how else do we celebrate a A PI.

There are no other Asians on the network on Bravo on like, you are one of the most prominent ones.

Would Crystal.

For the first time ever? Yeah, let's actually put the light on Crystal Kong mink Off for once. Yeah, And I'm like, do it literally on the show.

Well, that means Kyle has to let her talk first yeah, boo Blue Blue blo. But second of all, it's like, how else are they going to celebrate API heritage went without giving an Asian person any agent.

No, let's listen, it's not.

Actually it does just make me feel because I had the same thing I put on Peacock last I.

Was like, oh my god, yeah, and you were like, there's me.

I was like, you know, I want the heads up an email that's like, hey, by the way, you're going to be the face of Peacock tomorrow.

And also we're doing not usable.

Yeah that's what I'm saying an email and then be like do you and like, oh, I would love these sketches.

I don't even have to, I just I would have loved like a little of a head, I will say, though, pretty cool to have a collection, Yeah, like you basically you basically could have one of those DVDs like the Best of Amy Polar DVD.

Which is my favorite DVD that I ever.

Read DVD, the Best of al the Best of a Polar DVD was like formative.

Yeah, oh god, it's cobble something.

Because you do have a lot of stuff. And I'm saying like, like as someone who's been there for.

Four years for seasons on camera, Yeah yeah, so that's like.

You got a collection, girl, you got a collection on us.

That was I did not mean for that.

No, no, no, no, that's your life though, that is your I mean, that's the reality is that, like people are gonna oh diversity. Listen. I someone who went to college and every time I was in the cafeteria, I get this campus photographer like get in that.

Picture, you know what I mean, ye hold the chery smiling.

It's like yeah, we get it.

You know.

It is it's truly like the diversity campus, like photographer of the industry.

All these months, my thirteen year old son and I wore matching and collection.

It was so horny.

Well, the thing about mothers and their sons is like, then you're dating these guys. These guys don't know how to wipe their own house because mommy did it for them.

That's like literally what I'm saying, so.

So boeing collection.

Or they have weird because they were too close with their mom. And then they're like, every time they fuck a woman, it's their mom and they get in their head and then.

You know, let me tell you, well, that's how Millie is with six two guys. And somehow every time I wake up, I'm big Spoon. I'm like, how am I big spoon again? And it's like these guys.

Want mommy look at spoon every time, Like I.

Attract a small spoon energy, which is fine, But I don't want to be big spoon every time.

No, no, no, because you have a big spoon personality. Are they misinterpreting both?

Yeah? Both.

I don't have big spoon personality, but that doesn't mean you want to be bigspoon all the time.

To change, change up.

Everyone has a big spoon and a little spoon inside of them.

Yes, yes, yes, And with that profound comment, I'm we're ready to hear you elaborate and be even more profound with at least your I don't think so, honey, I got it. Yes, this is yeah, I mean a competitor, competitor in the past, at least morales.

This is your I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now.

Okay, And I think this is important to say on the eve of the writer's strike. I don't think so, honey. Spelling and grammar. Listen, there are so many words, so many, and I am supposed to know how to spell all of them, and also the little symbols that go in between.

I don't think so. I don't think so, honey. Okay.

I believe I believe it was Matt Rogers who once said I may not know my words, but I do know my heart. And if you really can understand what I am saying, let's move on.

Yes, okay what I have said.

If you know what I am typing, we can move forward. We're understanding each other. And as an addundum to that, if you are a person who cares about someone using the word literally when they actually mean figuratively.

Okay, I want you to take that thought. I want you to hold it, I want you to choke on it.

Just stop, just stop.

It's it's a figure of speech. The word has evolved. The word has evolved, and.

Thank you for saying it.

And I also want to say that in addition to that, we've had two people on this podcast do I don't think so, honey, when people say the word like a lot that.

Night freeze, it's so chilly, we're just like.

Homophobic, groundbreaking cares. One time, this girl was like, I sat one time and counted how many times you said like, and it was like one hundred times in like five.

Every language has filler words, yeah, every And it's part of the huge like the human brain operates in a way where like we have to take breaks in between our words as we express them.

That's just having filler words.

When you're used to being interrupted a lot, you use more filler words. That's why women queer people use a like about young girls.

I know.

Yeah, but anyway, Spelling and grammar, first of all, dating apps, when people are like like people who look they're there and they're or like they know the difference, it's just like fuck you.

No, it's just superiority.

And there's I have always said elitism, superiority, the idea that you are better than someone else. There is no more unattractive quality than those things. Yeah, superiority is.

The least attractive, least fun thing to be.

And I will say I will put myself on blast.

You can grow out of that because I used to be someone who is like, you're not using literally right, yeah.

But when I was like I'm sorry nineteen.

Yeah right, and when that was a hierarchy, yeah, when there was a higher when like the thing you have control over was like, oh, like the way you like write words?

Who cares?

I'm texting lowercase, I'm not putting spaces between my emojis or afterwards, and there are no rules anymore.

Let me tell you something too. As a bitch with acrylics, I'm gonna spell ship. It's gonna be all over the fucking la. You know, the if you and he's the producer knows because you're you look like you pull some bad bitches. And let me tell you, bad bitches with the crylics are not gonna spell things correctly, and it's not because we don't know.

It's because the nail my nails, my fat fingers.

Bitch, you know the first three letters of the word. You fucking know what the don't try to tell me, and that is exactly what I wanted to com exactly.

Wow, bitch, wow, bitch. Now on that it's time for millies. I don't think so much. Yeah, militarymaries, I don't think so, honey, for time starts now, I.

Don't think so honey. Sliding into my d MS asking me for favors and you don't even follow me to Hello, Hi, I love you, I loved you on blank.

You know what.

We all can agree that grooming is wrong, but you know if you want me to do something for you, you better groom me.

Bitch, four or five weeks.

You better have liked everything on my fucking you better have bought a ticket to all the shows that I've got coming up before you come into my DMS.

I have two non three thirty seconds that help people of.

Color get careers and marketing and entertainment. You better have donated before you come into my DMS talking about oh, put me on or this and not who the fuck are you?

Who the fuck am I?

You're spelling our names because me and Elis.

You spell my name wrong in the DM and you're asking your name not fucking thing.

Who the fuck are you?

Like my shit? Guess me up, please before you come through that and try to ask me for some shit. Okay, that is just tacked.

Okay, and that's one minute because guess what not everything is tran actional. But if I don't know you, then it kind of.

Has to be what is my benefit on helping you out?

You want me to get you a job? Doug?

Who the fuck are you? And then then I look, I look at your profile. You're not even following me. You want to eat? You're sending me a damn word an email being like, hey, can you help me get a job at this one place that basically only hired you because you're a diversity higher.

And then and then it's just like, oh uh, you don't even follow I know?

Do you?

Guys? Also?

Do you guys have those people that come in and like your photos but don't follow you, Like there's one person.

There's one person who keeps.

Returning to my profile to like photos or like and I see it because the person is verified and an actor that I know but doesn't follow me, and I'm just like, what I will tell you, and it's just like for me, I'll tell everyone, but my thing is just like, why wouldn't you just follow?

It's like a weird power move that's not really a power move.

Yeah, I don't believe situation, but Millie knows that. I get all the time people emailing me, d ming me asking me for ship and they spell a lease looking there And I've said on my close friends story, the only misspelling of my name that I will.

Accept is slide because that's what it autocorrects.

Slide milky milk, slide that side. But wait, that's actually really hot.

Yeah, the company, and honestly I don't The only one that I don't even call out is the Russian lady that does my laser hair removal because she has all the power. Talk about money, I mean mother, but exactly no spell my name wrong. Mother. Listen, Irena, she she's mother, and she's seen my booty whole.

You know what I'm talking. That's showing hole. You talk about showing hole first of all, the dangerous hole.

And let me tell you first time I was laser hair removal, completely open. I'm like, this pussy price gone up? You know what I mean. But we'll talk about it. But no, well she ice is it?

So no?

But I.

You know my pussy before. So if she calls me milky, fine, you bitch. I don't fucking know you and you don't follow my there's a there's a whole other thing about peers. I'm talking about industry peers who don't follow you back, and then they do the like shows like okay, fuck off. But it's just like if you're asking me for a favor, asking me to put you on her, asking me blah blah blah, you want me to get coffee. This one guy's like can we get coffee and talk about things?

Get coughe like the follow and the follow back that's like the handshake yes and like you kind of that is like this weird formality. It's weird that it yes, and that it's it's part of it, but it is like, unfortunately the way you like initiate that kind of conversation, well, that's funny, is like.

We just brought up like the Beverly Hills Housewives. Remember that they're they're constantly obsessed with who's unfollowing and following.

I guess what, Crystal Coff doesn't follow me, so I'm there therefore, I'm like, wow, well, why is she.

Next to you in the aa P I voices?

Why why is she taking me into? Why is she dm me? I mean, exactly did she?

I don't think she's like seen my stories and stuff. And I'm like Crystal, Crystal, she doesn't have.

To do the seeing of the s.

But not following is a power move, and I'm just like, don't you know we could be more powerful together.

It's a very wicked. It's unlimit if you.

Followed me back together, think of all we could do well, dream the way.

But people people, but people again, you're talking about competition. They get scared.

They don't what Alphaba and Glinda were so much better as sisters than they were as enemies, and it's a rule culture number six. Alphaba and Glinda were so much better as sisters than the enemy. And when Alphabet I'm gonna started following each other, uh huh, that's when I was ready to follow them.

Well, and you know some say they only follow God, but no, not here. No, you know what, And I I won't get petty, like, if I really do believe that we are peers, you play that ship, I'll call it out.

I'll be like, do you call it out?

Asked Jared Goldstein. Ask Jared, we were at somebody's birthday, Kiki, Well, because I saw, you know, we did a show together three years before, you know whatever, He's really nice.

We're gonna have him on to respond exactly.

No, but I you know this and that we were kekey and then follow this motherfucker did not follow me back, and I was like, okay, motherfucker. Three years later, at Ja Cornell's birthday, I was like, he blather you talked about in I'm like, oh, that's funny you brought up into because you don't follow me back. You don't follow me back. And then he's like and I'm like, listen, I really do feel like we're peers. We have a lot of the same friends. We're doing the same ship. Okay,

Also, it's just like the thing too, I think that people get a little obsessed with when they get a little bit bigger followers, like their ratio. It's just like that doesn't matter. And then I'm like, but if you do think that matters, then like maybe you need to check that I understand the ratio of like photos of posts. Like sometimes I am like, let me clear some of these pictures.

I love the archives.

Love archives.

I don't even know what.

Oh yeah, I love looking back at me, like what was I doing? That's archive is good because you can go there archive.

But the public doesn't know.

Archives.

You know why because I look back and I'm like, oh yeah, because before Instagram Stories, we were using Instagram grid as Instagram stories. I'm here today, blah blah blah blah blah. But this is what I'm saying though about the people that ask me for favors. There's some Honestly, I call them the ukulele white girls, who like the white girls who do musical comedy with ukuleles. Yep, So they'll follow me. They'll follow me, just ukulele white girl.

Me?

But that's what I'm saying, ukulele white girl. There's a lot of you know who I'm you know what I'm talking about? I do you know what I'm talking about?

Anyway, Well, we're gonna have.

No. He did really well and then he did follow me.

But that's why I brought him up, because because you know, you know it was an oversight.

Yes, you felt comfortable bringing it up, and I feel comfortable calling this a landmark.

This has been incredible.

Follow Slide and Milky Milky Slide, Milky and Slide host, that's just up.

We talk to politician and you know, we're talking about abortion. We're doing a lot of ship.

But it's like it's the way in for like it's for me. It's like, oh, let me like, let me understand this. Yeah, way that like my friends would let.

Me understand this. Finally, Yeah, well, we love you so much. Thank you guys for thanks for having.

Course, we love you back. I mean, this is this is just the beginning.

I've been so excited.

I I know you, and you know when I.

Realized I was like the way I've known you for like thirteen a long as you've known like I remember like when I went to like u D for like like Improv festival.

This was like two thousand and nine. I know, Wow, Wow, I know.

Wow.

And then for seven years ago, which is probably have that time for you to come on here and say, Harry Potter, for you to come on here today and denounce that.

Is the growth exactly from at least an improv.

Who did not know what was coming to at least the last coach seven years ago who said Harry Potter writes to now at least saying no, Potter.

That's evolutions, progression.

I could never yes, And then meanwhile sucking Bellas Strange, Voltemore, fucking Helena and Ray for the ones who are keeping for joe Ane.

You're like, wait a minute, are they like by her?

I'm not surprised Helena was miss Johnny Depp and also Helena tim Burton is a little problem my cheek, but.

You know whatever, villains looking a little like she don't vaccinate and no, wait, can I say something?

Luna Love Good sucks. I don't like Lunda love I never liked Luna Love Good, not like actually talk about.

Ye, that's what libertarian.

Yep, yep, yeah, give me libertarian and guess what, Actually, it's a real culture.

All raven Claus were libertarians.

Number thirty three libertarian.

But you know it's a genre of white like when they're talking about like white people don't wash their legs. I don't believe that.

But Luna Love Good type people, they don't watch it. Well, now you sound like Luna. Al Right, I have to go to therapy.

We had diver episode with the song un limited Together.

We're live together, will be the greatest team. There are bad Glena dreams the way we plan if we were good.

If you want to hear more about that, you can listen to the Wicked original Broadway cast. You can go on YouTube and YouTube in Wicked define Gravity my tutorial.

Yeah, all right, fe