“KUNTUMN” (w/ Sudi Green)

Look, maher oh, I see you.

My own look over there is that the culture?

Yes, Wow, Lost Cult dang dong Lost CULTESA is calling.

What's a call when there's one film and then there's another The sequel, you might say, this is the sequel to an episode that we did a few weeks ago in my Long Island City home. Because now we're in my Franklin Village home.

This is an important cultural heritage site for Lost Culture. I don't mean to self pathologize, but I think you too. This is the room where we did top two hundred. This is the room where it happened. And I hope that we all know what I'm talking about. Of course, the musical Hamilton's the musical Hamilton.

Well, there was also a room where another thing happened, and it was this room, and it was the top to under moments in culture. And this episode is not like other girls either.

This is an episode that is the sequel to last week's episode or the week the week where we did from your apartment of Island City. It's also a sequel installment to a long running series.

This is the long running series. Except here's the thing. Because it's not summer. It technically is no, and can we have this discussion for me?

Summer's over? Are you one of those people? Counterpoint? Are you saying it ends with Labor Day? Because there's another third camp that's like no, they say, you know, pride isn't over to Halloween. There's there's prime, it's over to Halloween. It's a certain kind of individual individual who to them, summer means dressing up in outfits that you coordinate with your friends. Do you know what I mean? And that spirit lives on through Halloween. We need to lengthen fall

Okay, I guess I am coming out right now as like a hard summer ends after a Labor Day person.

Well you it couldn't end soon enough for you because you really came out. You liberated a lot of people. I think you put a voice to this movement of like, Summer's not not really that girl, and I see it.

I'm looking for cleansing. I guess where I am in my life right now? My sister is I need a cleanse?

Yes?

And do you remember we've taken iconic trips and sort of the wilderness of Upstate New York. Yes, and I need a fall moment. I need a I need a rebirth. I need to walk out into the briskness. I'm tired of all this heat. I want a fall moment. And that is part of the reason why I'm so happy that we're doing this episode not in the throes of summer or with summer to quote unquote look forward to. It's a new era for the quote unquote Summer of cunt series.

Oh my god, And so were we saying that it's Countum. I love this Cuntum cuntum so ku n ti you m n. It's the first Countum. It's not Summer of CNTs. It's the first first count And I am so excited about this.

So to bring in the Cuntum season, yes, not.

Our guest just threw a fucking throw around her, so that was it was actually giving. It's really giving comfy vibes. You know, it's giving.

I had a chill, so I got my throw. I love to refer to things as a throw sometimes, even if I have a hooded sweashirt.

I call it my throat. Like I only got my throw. I forgot my throw. You know, kind of a violent where I never liked that word as it applies to like a layer, you didn't like it. I didn't like it, and that's okay. Yeah, I love it and that's okay. Cuntum also reminds me of the contoon the whales. The whales has hard the wave of water they passed. We can't talk about it all, No, it's gonna be too sad.

The only media I want to talk about before we get into it with our guest is if you thought the third graders were not going to understand the assignment on The Morning Show season three, you know they have more faith than my Christian, my Christian.

These third graders are in the honors program, or not the honors program, that Gifted and Talented program. They are GT. They're GT.

They're doing an incredible job. I am so proud of my girls, my third graders in the Morning Show writer's room because Bradley Jackson was at two places. Off screen, she was at the insurrection inside the Capitol getting footage, and on screen, she was in space. They launched Reese Weatherspoon into space on the program with the first episode.

The only other two people in that chamber was the Elon Musk equivalent of this world and for some reason, the head of this legacy media network, Yeah, why are these the three people in space? Oohen? And then while.

It's happening for there to be a cyber attack. This was a bad day for TMS.

This was Uba. This was a rough day for UBA.

And I was so saddened when I heard that Reese withtherspoons. Bradley Jackson was caught diddling herself on her phone. And now there's a video of Reese fortherspooning herself and maybe she sent it to Julian and Margles and it got out. It's being used as revenge porn against them. Fifty million dollar ransom. Oh so much happened in the last episode. If you're not caught up with The Morning Show, please,

To get you. It's it's all the craziest flot ones. But now they get it. They get it, I think.

So anyway, we are chomping at the bit because not only is there like ripe culture out there, but there's also our favorite guest of all time.

Our favorite guest of all time?

This is and we're being serious now. A lot of you have been asking for this episode. A lot of you have been saying, where is the Summer of count episode? And then someone on the Reddit, yeah, we look at therough adit. Someone even said.

There's probably beef. These girls always go to beef.

Here to squash the beef is our guests. You know, are your lover, Welcome her into your ears, squash the beef.

What's so fucking mad at you? Guys? Why just kidding him not?

Did you feel you had a summer of count even without this episode happen?

No, I agree with you that summer is a lot of pressure. I think we take the era out of summer because summer there's like I remember every summer when I was a kid. I was like, this is the summer that I transform and everybody gonna go, who's that girl? And you know follows a return to self. Yes, it's a return to baseline. We don't have to constantly be inventing ourselves.

People.

Sometimes what you got is good.

Yeah, totally, And I would argue not to blow up your spot. But you've had a pretty county summers.

It's strike summer. Yeah, but for the strike.

County, for the strike strike hunt. But you have. But I think you've had a wonderful, fabulous summer, and I think that we should celebrate just him between ourselves.

Are you being public about your boyfriend? Well, so here's the thing about Summer of Cunt.

I didn't want to go out.

Summer of Cunt used to be an episode we were like, now, let's really self examine and then I think about doing that on this podcast nowadays and I'm like, no, Wow, some things have to be held sacred to the chest.

But this is what Sudi is saying, is that like we all think of summer, we all want summer to be this transformative experience. And it's like, to quote another SUITI thing, not everything has to be important, right, do you know what I mean?

I forgot I said that it's one of the most.

Important things you've ever said. And not to be iron but that is an important quote. Not everything has to be important.

To say, not everything has to be important.

I think you've said it many times over the years. I can't get.

Back to the things that I saw.

I got to get into some.

Like human life is suffering, Human life is suffering, which is the two of you talking about mad Men in college when it was on. She said mad Men is a successful show because it understands that human life is suffering.

She was, you know, also said that was Stuts. Anybody watched Stuts, like Jonah Hilldock.

Don't guess what was about to And then the text came out and I said, I don't need to watch. I feel like.

I've met three people who are like, yeah, Stuts is my therapist too, Like I don't think it's that big of a deal to have be like with Stuts, he's like the guy.

They literally see him, you know, he's like.

LA therapists like everybody going to Stuts.

It's like I personally know people who the aorna. Really, yes, I told you about.

That, but it's just so surreal to be a famous therapist and then have celebrity clients, right patients. So I go to therapy here in La, and I recently asked my therapist do you have any like a list clients?

And she just did like a solemn nod, like she broke kippa. She didn't know.

She would never tell me a name, but I was like, do you have any like big, big, big big names, and she was basically like yeah, And she said that one person is dating someone that's really really really famous and exclusively what they talk about is her relationship with that person's fans, Like.

It's, oh my god, I wouldn't. I feel like my therapist has me in a trance that they've never heard of anybody that I talk about, Like, I don't think that's true, but I love that she likes professional is basically like when you say a certain person's wor name certain person's word, when you say the word of a Yeah.

L Cudi was like, what if I'm not up to date on the culture, And I was like, and there's only one thing I really want to talk about to anyone who listened, and you mentioned it earlier, which is Lauren Bobert getting her jugs felt them oh.

At the musical in Denver.

I started to feel fucked up about the amount of times I'd watched the video today.

I was immediately it immediately crosses the line, what are you saying, Like I'm.

Saying for me watching the icy watching it, it is like really shocking, how like it's so collegiate it is they are college students.

Do you remember at Disney when we sat next.

To and that felt by drugs and I said, hey, stop touching my jugs.

You I'm trying to watch beetlejuice. Do you remember we were at St. K Disney Springs.

H huh and.

We were next to this Orange County Yeah, those.

Couple sitting on the same side couple, a.

Fair couple or second marriage couple.

I feel like you might be onto something with I think.

That they were both divorced and both very much working on their bodies and both like I can still turn this around.

Yeah, it was giving like Orange County is exactly.

She was wearing a white IRV Laire dress. Memory just well, I don't know if you guys know, like the iconography of the dress and the fact that she was wearing one. I feel like it's so important to talk about because it's.

Your special occass.

It is the timeless. Yeah, if you're Lauren Bobert, or if you live in Orange County or you live in Florida, the biggest night of your life, you break out the Vlaire.

You break yeah. Yeah, And this was a huge night for Lauren and this man.

I want to know what her shoes were I bet they were like low floor Randall.

There's sorts of her being escorted out.

You see, she fully that the woman doesn't understand what this is. Lauren Bobert, who is a congresswoman from Colorado, a third district, basically the half of the state.

Yeah, you know.

Her, but if you don't, she's like an MTG type and she's kind of like leading the charge. She's the one that's like, you know, drag queens are grooming kids. She's one of the worst people in the country. And she was recently felt up in such a disruptive way in the audience that Bealjuice the musical when it came through regionally in Colorado that she was asked to leave. She was also vaping in her seat and they were

Footage of her vaping according to what I'm looking at Twitter.

Well, so isn't that so considerate of the theater or whoever, I love it, whoever had to put out this news or whatever to be like she was caught vaping, Like you didn't mention the craziest part, which is was that she was getting her jugs felt up and she was like finding the sausage. She was finding the sausage. You know.

I couldn't fathom the video. I also, I can't describe it. But the funniest thing about it for me is how much her hair like.

Moves in it. It looks shorgeous, it looks like stunning. Her wig is so.

Top notch, and just the way she's like moving, she's the government.

This is why I say our first female president will be a Republican.

Yeah, because I think it will be Miss Haley. I'm not going to put that out there, but no way, I think, no way.

Well, I just feel like people can rally around that type of image.

Yeah, totally. Everyone has an understanding of that. It's not like something, Yeah exactly.

It's so funny though, Like it's truly part of me is like I hate her so much, but I kind of in a way makes me like her a little bit.

I have to say, I think I can I'm going to be really careful when I say this. I definitely am like, yeah, for sure, I recognize this behavior, and I know even now more than ever she should not be in Congress or just like.

She's a hypocrite. It's not that she did it. I have no problem with somebody doing that actually, but it's that she's such a fucking that she's like drag accusing everybody of being.

Yeah, yeah, did you also see by the way, we're being facetious? But nothing about this woman is likable and at least she's one of the most evil people in government. But I will say that there was something about her explanation that she released where she was like, I don't know if it was the excitement of a big new production like this idea that like, you could get so excited about regional theater that you're actually horned.

Can I say something? Theater is back, okay in a huge way. The Princess Peach Game that's coming out next year takes place at the theater.

Wow.

She has to save the theater because this the villain is ruining the production of the play that she's seeing, and she has to get on stage and like fight enemies. Isn't that genius? That's a theater is here to stay?

Oh?

Did I tell you the plot of the new Splash Mountain Ride. They're turning into Princess Tazzi's bayou dad.

What's the plot?

She is sending you out into the I guess the bayou to find ingredients for gumbo, for her gumbo.

I Loveleigh obsessed. Sudy just made us an amazing chicken.

It was a really good chicken soup and I described it as vegetable forward.

Wow, well, you know, I know my boys love soup. Yeah, And that's kind of been like you guys are talking about like pop culture like stuff like that, like these shows and like that stuff, and I'm kind of like talk about tomatoes because that was my summer.

You really do you love your little I am like, like gardista, I've become such a woman in her thirties so hard this year.

I really am feeling like just being home and making soup and tomatoes. But also I do go out and I do party. But that was like my summer.

Your garden started to take up not only more room in terms of physical space, but also more room in terms of emotional space.

Absolutely yes, contum.

That is contum. That is soup is kantum symbol. Yeah, you know you understand, and.

I know my boys love soup. So what am I going to do?

Sort of?

You both be sup peopoth iconically love a hot, frothy thing. I bet I could go to a restaurant and guess what you guys were going to order off the men.

Do you want to bet? Yeah?

I always bet I could know.

What you what.

We're going to McDonald's. What are we ordering? Yeah? What's McDonald's order?

Big Mac?

She's looking at bone right now. You have to say who you're looking at. That's okay.

I think you're both getting Big Max, and I think you're both thinking about getting too.

You think I'm getting a Big Mac. Yeah, there's too much tomato on that.

You don't know.

There's no tomato on Big Mac. There's way too much of what I think is going to be tomatoes.

Tomato.

So, Bowen, you're actually not listening and you're being very sanctimonious. I'm telling you for a fact, I think there is tomato on the Big Mac, and so therefore I would order it.

Can I tell you something?

You know what I'm saying you can go to McDonald's and order the Big Back.

And and so what I'm saying is that she's wrong. I would never have ordered the Big Mac because I think tomatoes, honest, So she should have known that I think tomatoes on it.

Can I just say, I've never seen them react like this. It's like closer to real tears.

I'm crying.

These are real tears. I'm saying, this is crazy.

I'm saying there's no tomato, right, And so what I'm saying is I don't think there is. So if Soudy knew me and knew what I was going to order at a restaurant, she would know he's not going to order the big Mac.

He thinks there's tomato on even though he's wrong, makes yeah, it does. Do you have to go this thing that comes to your mind? You don't think I do?

Oh my god, Sorry, I don't know why that mine is a number that's chee cheeseburger.

No, but it's harder at McDonald's because all the foods are kind of the same. But like I know, if we went to like an Italian restaurant, okay, you, Matt would order like meat, red sauce, whatever, pasta had like meat red sauce on say the name chicken and chicken parmesan.

What side you can do this spaghetti good?

Yeah?

Okay?

And at an Italian restaurant, I know what he's getting. You're getting like a beef short rib.

Okay, close ish man, you know I think you're getting like the white sauce. You guys don't know me. This is crazy? Are you getta? I'll get an arivazza. But mostly I'm always always people. It's always the bolonnies.

Literally you, I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry. Okay, guess me, and please say Briansino because if you don't say Branzino across, I.

Say bran Zena with broccolini.

I don't know about the broccolini. I think you went too far. I think you overcorrected.

Yeah, I would definitely definitely getoni or like you know what I love, like a white sauce with shrimp.

You also love to suggest sharing a solad. And it's always that thing of like do.

You think it's performative? Say it it's not.

I know.

Sometimes you need a little ruffius. You need a little ruffiage at every meal.

I still don't eat enough vegetables at this age, am I big age?

We all could be eating more honey because it's got to be half that plate, I know. And is that number correct?

Yeah?

What are you better at making sure you drink enough water or making sure you eat enough vegetables?

Water?

Water?

Water is so easy. I always want it. Water is so easy.

Do you remember those massive water bottles? And I love that for you that everybody had? Yes, Oh, tell me about it?

It was what was it? It was? Was it? Put them that had it?

And I think Vanessa hot one, and Vanessa had one and Molly had So it's this.

Water bottle I've seen Molly.

When Molly came to host, she had Yeah, that says the time, and it's it has these like phrases like you go, yeah.

You're doing great. Yeah.

It's like an affirmation water bottle that has the time on it and so basically like as you should be.

They're huge all the water you need to drink that day?

Yeah, And then she ordered me, Celeste and Sarah those exact ones. It's too much water. It's actually too big of a bottle.

I think that it got to a point where so many people on set were carrying a full on personal and chow. Now, actually everybody just looked like hamsters walking around wearing like pants and stuff.

Yeah, it's totally hamster in the cage.

I really don't like the straws that come with those things.

Say speak on that.

And I want to say, like, I have a Stanley over there too, and the straws that come with the stanley.

It's my one thing I don't love about.

Why are water bottles one hundred dollars? Can we talk about that? We have to get to the bottom of this we're willing to pay for?

Well, think about this. Could you live without them?

No?

Exactly.

It's crazy to think about a time where we weren't all carrying around water.

Bottles, but people kind of have been. Do you know what I mean?

Now we really are Now it's like everybody has a water bottle in the hand.

But I'm saying, like one hundred years ago, people were carrying around little you know, little little canteen.

Well, I was one of the biggest users and consumers of plastic in the country as I was growing up, Like I was.

Oh me too, don't worry, would you?

You'd be sure to find me surrounded by plastic plastic water bottles, plastic gatory bottles, power ray bottles. Really, that's this culture you grew up, and absolutely it was a society more and more what.

My family still does. And I don't have anybody to say anything to them. They really go crazy on those Kirkland signature twenty four pack water bottle boxes. Yeah you know what I'm saying.

Oh, a suburban house will be having a twenty four pack of bottle water for sure.

And you go, you don't need that.

No, you don't need any of it, right, you need a tap and a filter, yep, just to make things remain safe. Oh my god, my mom comes to my place. She goes, you're sink it doesn't have the detachable nozzle. I go, no, mom, because we're not in the suburbs.

I don't like the way you speak to your mother. I didn't say it like that. I said, did you see that? That's not It.

Feels like she made a comment on your nice home that you very excited to show her.

Maybe that I wasn't actually hurt by, but I was like, well, mom, we just my mom.

Like the minute she walks into an apartment of mine, like if she's never been in there before, like this kind of happened like brother, when I moved to La and then she came, and it's just like the eyes darting to literally every single corner of the home. And

If I have a kid in my thirties, that moment before I see their place, it's loaded. It's loaded, you know what I mean.

Loaded. One time, my mom walked into my room and I had a power cord connecting my laptop like you know, over my room to my bed. And my mom walks in and she says, you're going to trip over this in the middle of the night and kill yourself.

And did you yet this is the current place?

Said this was like in my early I think it was in a in the parks place.

As a result of her saying that did you make a change. No, yeah, not at all. It's always for parents, you're gonna trip.

My dad is always like when we first moved to New York, he was like, you guys are gonna trip on the subway platform and fall onto the track. I go, no, is.

It because when you're a parent, you just always think about that.

Yeah, you know what about my parents though, because for me, it wasn't you're gonna trip or you're gonna fall.

It's you're going to choke on that. Oh wow? When I was little, I.

Think I they didn't trust you.

Well, maybe I guess I was just orally fixated. I've my parents are still Yeah, maybe it was that. Maybe it was that I think you just.

Were putting a lot of things in there that maybe she didn't have.

A pacifier though I was never a little trump. Can I ask was there an incident where something was stuck? Because I had one of those and that has defined as altered the way that my parents talked. I've talked about on this pod. No.

I ate a Costco dollar fifty Costco hot dog and I bit a huge piece, didn't chew enough. I was like eleven.

It was not stuck in my windpipe, but it would just would not go down the esophagus. I would try to wash it down. I was in that Costco bathroom for two hours. My sister still remembers it very well. My parents are still like bow when you have to chew your food. Still they're talking to a thirty two year old man. They go bo when you have to chew your food. When I said, I know, and I don't yell at them, I don't say stop, I say I understand because you've been really true.

It's so funny when your like family knows a deeply personal medical thing about you. Oh and then it's like now we're at dinner and now we're talking about yeah, my toe. I know I should make an appointment. Okay, I know, I know.

It's a really if you're rolling the dice when you say any when you open up and share any detail, that's like that, because then they will constantly check up. Like I can't even cough on the phone with my mother without her being like, what's the cough?

Uh huh? What's that?

You open up, you roll the dice, You roll the dice, You rolled the dice, you roll the dice. That You're not gonna be facing an absolute arsenal of questions to ask about travel.

She's like, what time is the.

Fight, what gait is it? When is it landing? Are you on the plane? What's ger you in?

Well?

What's the fight number? What's this?

Well?

Will you text me when it takes off? She's when it lands. She's a good flyer.

Every single time I land on the plane. This is my mother is really Every single time I land on the plane, she text me and says landed.

She's always right on. I think she like goes on the website to see that it lands.

She absolutely does. My mom doesn't like that I get on a plane and don't tell her.

Oh yeah, I think I think that there is something to the PA.

One time I went to like New York last minute, and no, I'm not telling my phone that every second that I book any travel well, And then she was like, well, you should tell me.

Yeah, I think, because like when I was little, you can get a sense of this by the way I sometimes behave on planes around new guys. But like when I was little, I was a very uncomfortable fire and didn't like it at all, was very afraid of it.

So I think about it.

It was the fact that how do I explain this? It doesn't make any sense that those things can stay up there to me, like I know, hunk a metal in the sky, and I don't really trust it.

I just you know what, I give it my God. Apparently it works on my edible today when I sat down and I see I went, we're in a moving hallway.

I can't believe you were high on the plane. I haven't done that in years. I like to say why because it makes me more comfortable and relaxed.

I'm relaxing. I was watching the Morning Show on the plane, on the plane, on the edible, just going, what an experience. Yeah, that's beautiful.

I can't be zoomed in public anymore.

Just just like oh I was. I was with some friends and I was like, I'm so stone right. They're like, really, oh, we can't tell. I was like, great, anyway.

That's beautiful. Do you think it's because we just bring you upwards bring you down?

It was settling me into the flight, which I think, like, no one minds if you're like just minding your own business, even no one cares. No one's clocking you on a plane at least that's what I think. But keep going about this childhood thing. Oh, I think that's all it is is that she knows that I was really fucking scared to.

Fly as a kid, and like mmmmm, she just checks in about the flight of it all because when the words Matthew and airport are together, I think it triggers her.

Oh okay, I guess our moms like really care about us.

I guess we're mothers after all. That didn't really work, but I'll work on it.

I guess they were mothers after all. I guess they were mothers after all.

Yes, it's getting closer.

I guess they were mothers after all.

I wrote an a new song last night, actually with my friend Brendan Scanel.

Do you want to hear it?

Yes, When two men kiss, it is amazing. It is beautiful.

Oh my god, when two men kiss in parentheses is amazing.

That is so beautiful. And you're just singing in the home all day. Yeah, and you really you channel that way?

I sing from my spirits, you both do.

Do you remember Popult when matt would always give me the.

Raps, when I was giving raps, that would always rap. I gave you the material that was going to highlight your strengths.

Wow, you are looking at me with so much fire in your eyes right now.

Okay, look, And also I always told you that when you committed to singing, you were a fabulous singer.

When I committed, well, when you.

Because when you get nervous, anyone when they're really nervous is going to be like tentative when they sing.

I can't sing, and I kept you know, but I think that I give off the vibe of someone who can't because I'm so charismatic.

You've written songs, You've written songs, and you've made other people sing the things you've written. You know.

What is fun though about that is that the fact that I can do that means that anybody can learn it. And I really feel that way.

Well, that's not true, and that is a real concrete talent. And yeah, but also.

Though, like I remember when I first started trying to write songs and I was like really bad at it, and I really had to learn what that whole thing is. And it's like also the fact that I have truly no musical talent and have written many songs.

We're saying, we're saying that first part is not true, but keep going.

Okay, no, but no, like formal training, I like don't know, Like you know, I took choir in high school and like it was to be with my friends, and yes.

You know what I mean.

The fact that I did that means that, like do you ever just have that feeling where you can mark a point where you didn't know how to do something and then later you're.

Like okay and you learned.

Well.

Literally, I think that what's cool about songwriting and also comedy sketch writing is they're like sisters.

They're in the same family.

I still feel this way today, absolutely all these years of doing both. Yeah, I actually think that that's for some reason. It's what you didn't know at the beginning of how to write songs was you didn't understand necessarily.

Like song structure like verse, chorus.

Stuff like that exactly, like in terms of like exactly how it worked. And so I remember you would cram a lot of comedy ideas into the song and like if ever there was something that needed to happen with your material that you were writing as songs, it was just that like they had to be put into like a song structure. I don't how to do that, like you were off.

To the race as mama.

Yeah, I didn't understand that.

Well, if you're a musician, you would think unless you were a musician.

Do you remember speaking of comedy as rhythm? Bonen, I wrote this sketch when we're at SNL for Regina. Uh huh, the disco one.

Yes, I love that one.

Okay, So do you remember we had written it and we loved it and she loved it. Yeah, And then we had what was it?

It was basically I was Regina King, Regina King, Regina King was playing this like disco queen to The sketch took place in the seventies, and I was like the tour manager.

Yeah, and she was going through her writer, her.

Writer, and then it was almost like a pattern sketch if that it it was a list.

It was like it was like totally like a song. It was like this did they do this?

Do this?

Ye?

It was like we had and we had to be in that rhythm.

But yeah, so we loved it. She loved it, and then it kind of didn't do like well at the table for whatever reason, which like can happen for a million reasons. But then it got in and so we didn't really have like, even though we believed in the sketch, like we didn't really have like a good sense from the table of what worked and what didn't. So I went to Steve Higgins's office, who is a producer at SNEL, and I like to think that I was also sort of campaigning for the sketch by being like.

I just don't know.

I mean, I'm just trying to get not that I was using that voice, but just being like, hey, what do you think I could do to this sketch, because we're coming off.

With Steve Higgins likes to help, likes to jump in and help.

And this is what he said to me. He said, comedy is not he.

Ho ho ha ha.

It's ha ha ho ha ha ha. It's not he he he ho ho ha ha he it's not that. It's ha ha ha he ho ho.

And it made sense and it made total sense to you, It really did. Yeah, but he also like that's like literally Forbade.

And what he said, no, I know because you came in because then like then later that day, Study comes into the office and like Higgins just said this, and I was like, what.

But it made sense. But yeah, and it was because the patterns were inconsistent with the rhythm of the sketch. And so if you just got into the music of it and surprised the audience, it's like almost like it doesn't matter what you what you said, it was the rhythm of how you said it. So the audience would be like, oh, that's funny.

So instead of.

Saying it just feels like the rhythm of the comedy is off, he said, comedy isn't ha ha he ho hole, comedy is ha ha yeah he he ha ha ha ha ha he Exactly.

I can use that better than it's about the rhythm of the piece. Sure, so is sex? Did you know what I mean? No?

Absolutely? I mean okay. So I was watching the Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman doc and Joanne Woodward has this quote where just like acting is like fucking don't talk about it, just do it.

Don't talk about it, don't think about it, just do it. As I'm getting older, I'm talking less during it. I used to think it was like so cool because like you see it in movies and like that's what they do in movies because you can just show to you people fucking wordlessly in a movie. Yeah, then it's important.

They have to say we're having sex.

They have to say we're having sex. I love this, I'm having fun. Yeah, and I did not not that I did that in my day. That's pensively not And but now the fewer words there can be, I feel like usually it's it's better I just let my body do all.

Of course, you know, I just let my body speak because I find that one I'm having sex, it's really because my body has been wanting to say something, you know, Like I feel like sex is such an amazing excuse to just communicate feelings. And your body is your power, you know what I mean? Like, sex to me is not just about mutual gratification. No, No, sex is about expression. Sex is about showing just how powerful you can truly be.

Oh my god, wow wow, look at that pillow in this lab.

It's covered in my word? Am I going to pick.

So words?

Semen and penis are so disgusting? I don't like it. That's it.

Yeah, the vowels are about penisism.

Does a guy you're ever hooking up with ever say yeah my penis?

No pens their penis? When you'rehurking up with them.

Never, not that I can recall.

Never for me. Never for me. Someone posted on an Instagram like an old HR video from like the eighties where it shows like, you know, like some things aren't work appropriate. It's a woman in the copy room and then another woman, another woman steps in and goes, ooh, it smells like vagina.

Here, what did you say? Yep, pure vagina, Like this is amazing.

Jina has a more fun word to say.

That vagina is so much because you can say.

Like vagina with like some aggression, you know what I mean, Like you can be like vagina.

But like penis, it's like, yeah, yeah, penis is terrible.

It doesn't sound like that's what it.

Should be called, you know what I mean. It feels like it should be.

Called like a cock a dick.

Well, not for everyone. Some people have a penis and that's okay.

That's fine. I want to think, I think, but we're just saying languages failed us in this way. We're the actual where the term for it doesn't sound beautiful.

I think you should call it shusha Becker shusha.

I like you Susha Shusha.

Shusha feels feminine. I think is for everyone, for everyone, I shouldn't say masculine and feminine. Come on, what year is it? What year is nineteen ninety four? No, it's twenty twenty three. Remember the era of when little boys would call it the hina?

No, what is that? A lot of a.

Lot of my little friends, these rascals that I remember. I'm wondering where you guys are right now. I'm thinking about all of you very fondly and thinking about wonderful men you've all probably grown up to be. I remember that when I had a lot of like boyfriends when I was younger.

They yeah, actually, so my mom's china. Oh my sisters was shina?

No, your sister never had.

I'm not I'm saying I remember like little boys would say vashina.

No.

I remember one time this kid John in school said vashina, and my art teacher turned around to him and she goes, She was like, first of all, that's.

Not even how you say. So you sound stupid.

Do you think that they knew? Do you think that it's.

A vagina not a china?

Second of all, don't say that.

I like, there were like girls that I was friends with that like called it a taco. No.

No, so what's what's the age those women are calling it?

Was like seven or eight.

We were calling it a stupid girl. You have to be at least twenty seven years old to call it.

We were definitely calling it a taco. And one time I.

Remember a girl a girl means there's meat in it. That's like weird, that's well like.

Taco burrito, Like you're in there's folds, you know, it kind of looks like a taco. Anyway. I remember one time I was on the playground and I heard a girl call it her pocket book.

I didn't know that. I didn't know kids were being this creative.

Like family has like a word for it. I feel like I feel like also like you just sort of naturally.

That was one.

Language I think my mom called my sisters ahoo.

These words are uncomfortable and they also like hold a lot of like meaning for kids because kids don't understand it, but they're well maybe they do, but like it's something that is exciting to them, just.

Inherent name for their area. Yeah, it's their name for their mysterious area. Well, you know what's so funny is that the what we called my penis or anyone's penis when I was growing up, and Mandarin was your and that is your J I E R. Basically deer deer and then and that literally translates to like your little chicken, which is like a cock. Cock is like male, big.

Chicken, your little chicken. But it's like I just don't I don't know, I know venus being a little.

Chicken, but that's what a cock is. Jeer, Yeah, you got it.

Wow, that's incredible.

How cleckly do you think I could pick up Mandarin pretty quickly? It's very musical language. You would love it. You're getting the tone.

I know tone, I know tone, I pick it up from both of you. Okay, well, well listen. Another thing I wanted to talk about on my list. So that all was the conversation about Lauren Bobert's getting felt up.

And we did end up on the China on.

Your InnoVision on deer and so Drew came back to work, huh.

Yeah, and then she came back to work and then she pause, So that's good.

What were your I know that you had a lot of thoughts. Do you want to tell anything to Drew bagymore right now?

Do you want to say.

Something Drew girl? What's going on there.

Well, now she's now she's done the right thing, right.

What is going Okay? What is going on there?

Though?

Like, why do.

We think she literally was like I'm not talking to my publicist for some reason, So that was her first mistake. She's doing all this sort of off of her own instincts, which cannot be told.

I just can't understand it. I can't understand how anybody thought it would be a good idea in the first place, and that they would get away with it.

There's only one explanation, and that's that they were probably threatening her with cancelation.

Well that sucks and that's awful, and that's not on her. Yeah, if that is the case, But also it just is I wonder what happens in these rooms when they're like I feel like they must get themselves into a little tizzy and be like this will fly, or they're just not thinking about it at all.

Yeah, I think that she probably is, like we said this last week, she's like a bleeding hard person who is thinking about like the positive shit that comes about with her show, if she.

Feels doing the show, and you know what I mean, and like she.

Probably feels responsible for her crew and then like, to me, what was crazy was the video being like I own this and then that coming down and her saying never mind because like and her saying in that video like I didn't want you guys to think this was a PR thing. It's like, Mama, this is the your video right now was the reason why we need PR. Right, PR could have gotten you out of this like this thing of like and I'm not actually not using my PR isn't the flex I think people think it is.

People immediately exposes you to being like, well, you need it, no matter how air tight your thing is, Like everyone's going to try to poke a hole in it. Yeah, one hundred, you know, one hundred, one hundred.

But now that she's a hero again, I think that we can all say that Drew love you.

Love you, and the open invitation stands. Give it for Rosie O'Donnell, for her. What do you think that's about. I think it's Rosie being right yet again.

Rosie's always right. I was so obsessed with Rosie O'Donnell as a kid, so obsessed.

Did you ever get your hands on a coushe me a couch, a coucheball, a shina.

Yeah, they were around. They were for sure around. She I remember like also when I was young, one time I said to somebody that my idol was a rosie o'donald. It was my swim coach.

It's a great name. Was just some coach read about it.

My swim coach made a face and made like.

A face now, like like a do homophobic face.

Yeah, honestly, it was like I could not fathom why I would look up to her or find her likable in any way.

Oh was.

Donald Trump? It was Trump?

And I remember I swim it was.

Trump.

It was so cool, like you putting out a tell all book. My swimming coach was Trump.

That would be that'd be really swimming coach was Trump. I can't swim.

We were talking about this suity both of the lifeguards. No, there was someone else. I was like almost at the point where I could have I was a swimmer. I did like heavy swimming, not like the greenery over here.

I had a moment where I could have, really my life would have taken a different trajectory. But you talk about I think you being a swimmer, is this identity? Is this part of you that like.

I'm a water girl.

A water girl. Well, Sam, me and your sister was a champion swimmer.

My sister is a really good swimmer. She okay, So this is the story, which is that she was like just swimming in the pool. One time. We used to live in Africa and we were in I think they were in Ghana or camera and I don't remember. Maybe I wasn't born and uh, but you remember it, but I remember the story, the legend of the family, which might mean you were there. I was there. My sister was just like swimming in this pool, and this woman came up to my mom and was like, she's going

Swim lessons, she was thrust.

And then my parents were like, if she does an activity, you're going to do the activity. We're not figuring out two activities. So then I just followed her on her way. And I do think that my whole family is just kind of like we love to be in the water. My mom grew up going to the Caspian. It's like we like to post up on the beach. That's a nice day for the family, lizarding, sitting on the beach, having watermelon, going for a quick dip. That's that's our little pattern.

Scorpio child's scorpion child.

I love to be in the water, and I love to swim, And if I'm at a pool or if I'm at the beach, there is never a day that I don't go on the water if there's water.

Yeah, this woman who came up to your mom, this is such an eighties nineties thing of woman goes up to a parent with their child at the grocery store, at the pool, wherever going.

Your child has something.

Wow, that doesn't happen anymore, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, you'd be too shy to like, if I was ever gonna lost to someone and their kid, they'd be like, grew Yeah, they say groom they'd say groomer.

They say groomer. I say, I guess they take that kids right away.

Well, what about like you remember when you were a kid and like your mom would meet somebody and all of a sudden you'd be like on a play day with a stranger.

Yes, that was so frank. You know who I used to play with. It was the kids.

Sometimes the kids of the women that my mom would do their hair like. They would bring their kid over and I'd be like, well, I guess I'm hanging out with.

Flop a goose?

What sharing my toys, playing my games, literally trying to be me at the car.

It makes you more selfish.

Absolutely, it made me much worse as a person. I was like protective of my things. I was like, I didn't know you existed until five minutes ago, and now you're in my home.

Now you're in my home touching because.

Were both kids were supposed to hang out. Discuss the implication of like, the kids will just hang out, the kids will just my type of kid.

Imagine being put on a random Yeah, imagine being put on a random playdate with an adult. Now, just like you're gonna You're gonna be with this person for the next two hours. We might have nothing in comment, but it wouldn't matter because it would be what you had to do. Well.

My mom very sweetly, I feel like was always meeting. You know, we grew up in Delaware. They're not that many Iranians around. My mom is Iranian, and anybody Iranian in a forty mile radius was like invited for our house, yeah, or we're going over there, yeah, and so, which was wonderful and how you build a community. But also that

That's beautiful.

And I wish I remembered her name, but I don't, but it was like Halloween, this is what this holiday is. I'm all in.

I think I was so exciting to hear the costumes.

These after house after house, getting free candy and getting to wear a princess dress.

And you said to her, diva and you showed all your star starbars and you said welcome to America, honey.

Literally, and you kissed her on the cheek.

You said welcome to America, baby, literally, and you said, guess what, it's just more of this.

Well, here's the thing is that. Then the same family who I'm sorry, I don't remember their name, but I was very little and this is happening.

It was a long time ago. Please call yourself some slack. The same family, my friends.

The same family came to Thanksgiving and the little girl showed up in her Halloween costume with a basket, thinking that it was gonna be like the same thing.

I am gonna cry and and their parents said to you, did you tell her that America was like just more of this?

It was?

She was on the cheek.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's my daughter on her cheek. You fucking little girl. You a little pervert.

I wanted to show her, little girl, need to show her the way.

Yeah, we found out about you with Sudie, that you were a little girl.

What is what if you killed the guy?

Silence? If you killed someone, honey, No, I'm going to go on the record and say I would right now. I would never betray you. If you killed someone, I would support you. One would support you, my girl. This is goodbye, Earl Vibes, the three of us. You would only kill someone under very bad circumstances.

Do you remember when we were in Charleston, South Carolina when we were in sketch grawed together.

Yes, and they were.

Very drunk sane.

Sorry, it's a different story. Sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm just study was really drunk.

No, but that was one of the drunkest times I've ever had.

I will always remember that night. But keep going. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to take us on this path that let's correct.

Okay, Well, Matt, there was like this crazy big highway that we were crossing to get to our hotel, and Matt runs across this highway that was like full of cars, and we were all just kind of like fucking it because we couldn't figure out like how to cross this highway. We had to get to our hotel. And Matt crosses it and he screams.

Yeah, live live, thrill seeker. There is a large life where I lived for the thrill. So true.

I'll never forget Matt looking at my face and screaming live.

I don't remember this. Maybe I wasn't there.

I live for the thrill.

You're drunk, I was.

You're so wasted.

I used to get drunk and make you take care of me. And I'm sorry for what I haven't had to do it. I definitely like would eat your grilled cheese and throw it up two minutes later.

And we know it was that night. Yeah, it was that.

And there's a picture from There's a picture.

I can count on one hand, which is to say obviously that I have not had to do that very much to like nurse you at all. You're very responsible.

I just think you and I are people, Yes, you and I are people who would get fucked up, but it would not be like bad.

That's true, you know what I mean. But there was That's true. I feel like now also because I'm a lightweight, so like no, same, I can't go really to the point of really bad because I get drunk before that happens and fall asleep. Yes, but there was a period of time where like every time we would go out out of town, like with pap Roulette, that I would get so blackout and puke somewhere I shouldn't. Like, I

You always get the staying though.

I puked outside of that cab in South Carolina and we got kicked out of the cab and had to get like an uber.

That was my time of supporting you.

Was grown up in Greyhounds. I've thrown up in city banks.

You know, I don't really throw up city banks. Sorry, sorry, I just caught city banks.

Two city banks. That's that's how many city banks are in New York City. That's not really so much about me. You're talking twenty fifteen.

Uh huh.

New York is covered in city banks. You're bound to throw up in one.

Oh, then therefore you're puke because you go where you're comfortable, in the city's city banks.

Yes, yes, I have to say. Yeah.

I wouldn't describe you as in that time as a low maintenance drunk person.

Yeah no, I think I was a nightmare who couldn't handle her shit.

But now I think you're right.

The way you've grown, and this is kuntum is you will just take yourself home. Oh oh, maybe like you will just take yourself home. Honestly, same, there's actually nothing more I love than getting home, Like before twelve, putting on my end all. Yes, I wanted to look you in the eyes where you realize you influenced me to download the app end all because Bowen and I had such an amazing time sharing a space in Fire Islands, playing soothing music that would lull us to sleep. And

Bibig girl, you gotta put your shaly every night on Fire Island? Would go? Now, put on the beautiful music? You called it? You called it the beautiful music.

How did you find out about.

Beautiful Instagram targeted apps?

Wowies, you you absolutely have to.

You have to. I'm getting a lot of Instagram ads that are weird. I'm getting really like in selly AirPod alternative. No like AirPods suck real men? Use this, No, that's interesting. Ozembic, A lot of ozembic stuff I like interesting. How do you know that I'm a little paunchy? Do you look at this?

You're looking gorgeous.

Look at that. It's fine, we both said.

When you just said when you walked in, you looked stuffed al so you can.

Be gorgeous too, news Splash.

No, no, I'm but I'm just saying, like such a mind fuck to be like, wait a minute, what makes you think? And then I'm scared. I'm scared. Left for the hydration and ivy services. Oh I wish that's a nice one to have. I don't get that.

Your house was absolutely well thank you for letting me stay in your New York place, by the way, and you're your place was absolutely covered in liquid iv Yeah.

Liquid ivy, Oh so good. That stuff is really good too.

But take good about like it's the service where they actually come to you and give you an IVY in your arm like a concierge. Yeah, Like it's like one of those things.

And do you really really feel better after.

I've done it a couple of times and I have to say, it really works and.

Does it get rid of your hangover?

It's just like straight up definitely does.

And also like there's one I did once and it is a little bit on the pricey side, but when I'm really feeling like I really need like it to be like a rejuvenated, full restore moment I get NA D plus, which is like this, it's pretty wild, like as an ivy like it's and as a vitamin it's it's pretty insane.

We don't know what it what's in it, and we never will and there's no way to know.

When I get it an AD plus and while you're getting it, you feel very heavy and a little bit nauseous, but you afterwards you feel like you could lift a car.

What's the plus?

I I guess I do have to say that Concierge Medical Service has saved my life in the past, absolutely, Like they just are like, here, this is the craziest antibiotic that we can mainline into you, and it did turn my sickness around.

So you're kind of getting like like you know in a each true Hollywood story where there's a singer who like loses their voice and then they're like interviewing the doctor who gave them the shot in their throat so that they could sting at live aid.

Oh my god, I pray that I never have to have a Katy Perry teenage dream in the movie moment where she saw like they're dragging her onto the platform before she has to perform she's a nicon.

I want to have it, and I want the cameras to be following me out before I go on shows, Like, I want a camera following me and I'm having to drag myself to the stage. You have to perform my pop music. Have you had a moment like that pre performance breaking?

Wait a minute, something happened this year a Culture Awards, Like right before we went on stage that I was like, fuck, what to you? Something happened to me? Oh yeah, you got a text and I was like, what the hell I did?

I gotta, I gotta, I gotta text. I got a text that was suspiciously time right, but I stayed very strong. You did, I said, my girl's gonna pull through. No, I feel like I'm not the kind of person that gets like shaken before things happen, only because I'm so occupied with like nervous, anxious energy that like there's no space for anything else.

It's just like okay, mmmmm hmmm.

Floating above.

We're all anxious, the three of us.

No.

Yeah, I would say you more anxious than depressive, and.

I might be more depressive. Maybe that's maybe I'm like the little different.

But you can be both.

English social studies, Like that's more what I am.

I'm going to do shop.

And I'm taking shots. What were your elective Oh this is a good one.

Always art, baby, And then you know, I was that girl who was like all about Jim pe health.

Was your dad a teacher at your school?

No, he was a teacher at another school, which I think was probably for the best.

That is really nice.

But was he at all your games?

Is everything he could be at? Yeah?

Wow? And did he give you a lot of pressure? Was it like varsity blues? You were quite the athlete.

Yeah, so I was, and he was often my coach for things, So I guess that was like it was never like, oh, daddy's watching because he was always the coach. So it was like I just accepted the fact that my father was the coach.

What were your elective city?

I guess I did art. And my school didn't really have a theater program, but then they always kind of like tried a little bit. So I remember like a group of us kind of being in an English class and I think like each having to read a play it didn't matter what play it was, and then like write a report on it. Yeah, that was our theater class. They were like, instead of English, you'll just theater it. But of course I wasn't gonna like do anything like physically active.

But you had to. This is one question for this question. Question for this question. Didn't you have to take all the electives? No, like you could not do gym?

Yeah, you had to do you had to do gym.

But then your electives were like am I going to do shop? Am I gonna do? Am I gonna do yearbook? Home?

Eg?

That kind of thing. What did you do? So I, so, my sister said, a precedent within the family, I will say, and some kids did this, but not a lot. But some kids would take two foreign languages instead of just so we did Spanish, and so I did Spanish in French.

Genius boy.

No, but the French was such a was such like a l O L because I was like, I already know it. That's that's very beautiful. And then the choir's a big, big choir.

Boy.

No, he florted.

Something happens. My body knows to fart when I'm around you, guys, you're.

Feeling relaxed and welcome and more.

I just landed readers Katie's publics the finals. So I landed and I dropped my things off at the airport, ran off to see my friends.

Fresh off a plane, fresh off and also having like the labor of having to give like constant updates when you're having like a travel thing.

I know, it's just all been there, guys.

Sorry, babe, you're not in control.

I thing you could have done in that situation. I just want you to know that I have my list of topics that I wrote down for today, because sometimes I do do that. Let's go, and one of them is Riba has no top lip? Did you guys know that Riba has no toplip?

What do you mean by no?

Apparently Reba McIntyre has no top lip.

And she's talked about this recently. Yeah, she has almost no toplip.

Look, why is this just like her top lip is really small?

Or does she mean culture?

Someone just said this to me and I wrote it down because I said, it's really true.

She has no top.

Lip, and it is part of when you actually think about it, it is part of what makes Reba look like Reva.

And she I would not change a thing. No, I let the record, I really hope you're not suggesting that I'm not saying Reba get Lip, I'm just saying my icon she does not have a lot of top lipts. And she's so gorgeous.

She's so iconic, she's so amazing. She was the queen of that short kind of early aughts mom haircut that's spiky, little shaggy bob. She rocked that. She would have invented it.

She might have. She definitely was a pioneer woman that.

You know when I feel this way with my bangs, that I feel like a haircut came into fashion that ended up being my haircut, you know, like I worry that my shag will be like the swoopy bangs of like the future and.

All the timeless haircut. You know who has this haircut? Carries downstairs neighbor.

Yeah, absolutely carries downstairs neighbor. Yep, this hair because now you really know it's a haircut because you're seeing like one of the girls in the Verizon commercial habit. These are like modern cool now hair.

What is she? We don't know? Very ambiguous, very very yeah.

It's very What is she? We don't know, but we're excited. That's really good to number thirty eight.

What is she? We don't know? But we're excited. Wow. I don't think it's held her back one bet.

No.

I think that she has gone on to do amazing things despite what her lip. But let this be a lesson limitations wise, right, whatever you personally think your own flaw is, it's not relevant.

They told Cindy Crawford to get the mole removed? No, and where would we be?

No?

If she had done it? Okay, no, Kaya.

Gerber, no, Kaya, you don't bottom anymore.

Bottoms would have been very differ. Bottoms would have been very Tidey had removed her mole. Cindy would have been destitute, out on the street.

Yeah yeah, yeah, go go forty bottoms would have been very different.

If Cindy had removed her mole, Cindy would have been out on the street and no position to have a child. She would have been destitute as.

She was.

Institution, destitute, institution, horror.

No costame egos no where I said it because Randy Gerber is cosamegos with George Clooney.

I know he was the guy.

Yeah, they love to ride motorcycles together. And then they were like, let's start a tequila company. And even though that's Gerber, I think his name is Randy. Maybe it's Dean. Who knows Gerber, Yes, Kaya's daddy. I feel like even though Cosamigos is his without like Cindy, it just like wouldn't have all come together because totally it's probably her money.

I mean, definitely, he's not. He's like a thing.

Okay, let's google. Yeah, rand Berger money.

How he's an American businessman and former model.

Okay, my little husband. All right?

Oh my god, he's from Shulett. He's from Long Island. Oh that's nice. Well, I think it's mostly her money. I think it's mostly hers. What else is on the list?

The other black girl on Hulu? I watched all of it. I loved it. Garcel gets to do it all. I love that. I love Eric McCormick in it. Oh, Eric McCormick. I actually think he has the look.

The look is the look.

I love Bellamy Young. Oh, Bellamy is wild in it. Bellamy is doing great work. Bellamy's choices in some of it. I'm like Bellamy we forgot about her.

She is the one and only Melly Grants on Scandal? Did you watch Scandal?

Who knows? Who can never be sure?

Who can say?

I feel that you might be super thrilled by like a season one, two, three.

I think I did watch.

The first two to three seasons because I watched the first four to five of Grays right.

First three seasons of Scandal were fun. Oh the second season especially was Quantum. Yeah, kuntum kantung kantum.

But that was all I had on the list, And then the last thing I had on my list was actually to remind myself of my I don't think so, honey, because I've actually been meaning to do this.

I don't think so, honey.

I've said this to Suti for about a month, and I keep forgetting because there's something in the culture that's been popping up for the last month, literally popping up, and I have to expel my anger.

Oh my god. Okay, so it's time. This is I don't think so, honey. Where we take one minute to rail again something in culture. This is Matt Rogers is I don't think so, honey, Matt, your time starts now. I don't think so, honey.

The trailer for Exorcist Believer. It is on every single YouTube video I watch. It's almost like the algorithm has found out not what I like, but what I hate wants to demonize and terrorize me like a devil, like a devil that's featured in Exorcist. Believer, by the way the little girls are getting absolutely inhabited by demons, and the way that horror mover trailers are all just this,

It some words. Why am I getting screamed at by the devil?

This trailer is the loudest scared, yes, most evil trailer.

Congrats to Ellen.

Burston on fucking the gig and closing the loop, But I don't think it's on any extras. Believer, you are scary even in the day. That's one minute. I'm so sorry. Is there a little thing you can click to say?

I have to.

Run either to my computer to put the volume off, or I have to run like away and hide from my computer for the fifteen seconds until the trailer it's traumatic.

I can't believe that's sensitive.

That's so sweet, it's so sweet.

I can't watch horror movie trailers. You should see me in the movie theater at horror movie trailers.

We've never seen like, Wow, you're always at a twelve. Yeah, you just feel everything so intense.

I cannot relax. And when i'm when when a horror movie trailer comes on, I'm actually like in the worst place I've ever been in.

You so much.

Oh and then you can't help as his friend, but to sort of absorb some of that. Because we went to go see Thoroughbreds and Matt turned to me and I've never been more scared or anxious in my life. He goes, is this a horror movie? I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not a horror movie. It's not a horror movie. I was so scared that Matt was gonna be scared. Isn't that so funny?

But you like roller coasters.

I like roller coasters, and I like haunted houses. It makes no sense because you want to know what it is. It's the static nature of sitting and watching a movie and like the enveloping nature of cinema.

It's because you love cinema so much.

It's because cinema is something that I experience and I commit and I am there, and so for it to be scary is so painful for me emotionally and physically because of the tension that I hold in my body. Like I literally I can't watch these things because it harms me physically, like I'll need to go like to physical therapy.

You, yeah, you would need to be in a roller coaster seat.

Maybe I need like a horse tranquilizer or something. No, no, I don't like that. I don't like that either, Bro, and forget I said it, Okay.

Do you you haven't. I don't think so, honey. Topic I do, I do? This is the one.

I don't think, so, honey. His time starts now, I don't think so, honey.

The way the texting is depicted in TV shows, people are always responding immediately. The platform doesn't look quite right. Everyone's spelling with perfect punctuation. I don't like it. And the emojis look like they were drawn by a child. It takes me out of it. This is how it has to be. A character texts.

Someone cut two seconds cut to an implied time jump. Let's say this person's at the desk text their friend a character cut to five minutes later. It doesn't need the five minutes later. But then butzz a person's texts back. That is realism. Text, that's text realism. We need it in movies and TV shows. Otherwise I'm out. Otherwise I go, I'm watching a movie or TV show. My disbelief has been not suspended, has been into the damn ground. And

I love it and it's literally just like it shows what it's true text.

And then this is what happens in the trailer. It goes the exchange ding, that's the ding the next ye.

And then this is sort of the soundscape of the movie. Right, okay, ding.

Click click ding click click click click click click click click click click. From that's it.

Oh my god, that was that was really good. You're not allowed to do that during the strike, though, Fuck you just made a movie.

That's idea. My god. I also just got a text that Hulu bought it. Damn it.

I just got a text said, I'm Hulu. I just want to say that if the writers would just be more reasonable, getting just skinning alright?

Was that a fart?

No?

Was the ice machine? Quickly?

I want to I want to know, no, no, no barting quickly. I want to mention something funny I saw on the internet. As it relates to Lauren Bober. Someone tweeted like a joke in the Fraser reboot, like hypothetical joke pitching.

This is not scabbing. This is the person just tweeting a hypothetical joke. In the Fraser reboot, Fraser.

Says Lauren Bolbert was caught vaping and groping someone at Beetlejuice.

It was in the front of the sanctity of theater.

Nile says, yes, but it's no reason to start vaping and groping referring.

To Beetle Juice. Isn't that so funny? That was really good?

I know it's that multi cam humor. We bring it back. That's why we're bringing it back. That's what we wanted to say. The strike is over bringing back multicas. Well, now Studie did you come to quantum with some topics at hand?

I didn't. Actually, we perfectly segued into what I'm.

Doing perfect We love synerg and this is kuntum, this is cuity greens. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now.

I don't think so, honey. Being bored during the strike, uh huh. I mean the strike sucks. We all know it sucks. We wishes it would end. But I have organized my closets. I grew tomatoes.

Say it, okay, I have time.

Hey, guess what. I didn't finish a couple of screenplays, but they're there. Yeah, the docks are open.

Okay.

You tell me that all I have is time, Well, I'm going to use that time. And if you're bored, you're boring. And I just feel like if people looked at their shoes and they said, do I need these shoes? Really? You would pick them out and you would take them to out of the closet and that would be a day.

Yeah, it would so like.

There are constant things to explore. Knowledge is infinite. The silver lighting is time to be with all the things.

Read the books you wanted to read, Read the books, pottery.

Pottery, It Okay, buy a new couch.

And that's one minute. I interrupted you.

Knowing you were feeling the spirit.

I want to say, you know what, this is a major moment because we have to say, get up, do something. Not since Kim Kardashian has has it been so clear people don't want to read these days. I want to read these days. They don't want to do pottery, they don't want to get up.

I have a running list of like things that I'm going to start getting really into.

Like what what's the number one thing?

Crochet?

Are you actually going to get it?

That's the thing, Like I've spent so much of the strike talking about it and thinking about it, you.

Know, and that kind of is a cure for boredom, is even just talking and thinking about it out of the top. Like three things that you say you want to get into, which one do you think you could actually do and actually want to do? You could crochet.

I could crochet because I could do it while I watched TV and it would replace me looking at my phone. See I've thought about this.

I want to buy one of those little crochet packs where you make those little animals they were on Shark Tank.

Yes, hosstitch. I also hear is really easy anyway, this is why I really need to get back to work.

But you're saying until then.

No, I'm saying that, like basically, I understand that the strike is super hard and it's been really really fucking hard and it's terrible, but I also feel like there's infinite time a little bit and it's kind of a fun opportunity and I feel like instead of talking about how bored you are, maybe like we aren't meant to like work all day like fun. I don't know, I just feel like, aren't there things that you would do

Like Okay, I think that post pandemic is a whole different thing, honestly, yeah, because I think that like things really sort of got back to normal there and then now again and it's just triggering. So I have I'm going to use it, use this word. I have compassion. I have compassion for the restless. But I will say it's shocking to me, like how you can really be given all the time and still not do those things well, like you know, for me to read and I still don't do it.

I also like didn't say like, you know, like I don't think so, honey, like depress people in the strike, bored people. It's different than depressed. You're allowed to be like too depressed to any.

Of course, of course that's what you're saying, boredom. Yeah, yeah, throw the frisbee. Throw the frisbee, Throw the frisbee.

You know what Patrick said to me the other day, He goes, I've been throwing the frisbee. I said, what Patrick House? He said, he's been throwing the frisbee. I was like, literally, I would never even think to go out and be throwing.

You're all entering. I think summer of kunt Fall kunt Kuntum that there is kind of a sea change happening return to and I think.

That is that what you mean?

No, No, I absolutely agree. This is what I'm talking about, which is like everywhere you're hearing your friend kind of be like my tomatoes, you know, or like all of a sudden, your friend is like the other day at acupuncture and you're like, when did you start doing acupuncture? And they're like because of my back. And then they're like, what's wrong with your back? And they're like, oh, it's been messed up for a really long time m hm.

New threads are entering your friend's lives that they will never tell you about.

Season thirty three is about to get way more interesting because it's like season thirty three in our lives. Yes, oh that's what I was basically trying to be like an ABC promo, I see, but for our own lives, like and when the drama heats.

Up, right, Oh my god? Whoever cut together those promos each week for Desperate House for the ABC line They were amazing.

They those were amazing. They were amazing artists. I'm not kidding. Yeah, no, I would never joke about this.

I even I didn't watch Loss, but I even, like, you know that the Lost ones would come on and be like that looks good.

There was one like extended commercial for Loss, which was a David la Chappelle ad.

Oh my god, fabulous old you're talking about this.

The season season promos for those ABC scripted dramas, they were like a music video. Yeah, they were like a music video Desperate House visualizers, but Desperate Housewives had County. Yeah. Absolutely, it was always then like catching an apple on the street and biting an apple and being like Esa Williams, there's a new housewife in town.

So incredible. Imagine like your day is that you got into hair and makeup and got in front of a screen with a fan and then kind of stepped side to side. Yeah, and just like gave it. I mean, I'm sure that they were also very busy, but no, no, the part of their day and I bet they fucking nailed.

They nailed, and it's impossible for them to not have enjoyed that day. I know for a fact.

Terry Felicity marsha Eva, We're all so excited for promo shoot day.

And you left out Nicolette. Was that on purpose? Well, Nicolette wouldn't be in all of them. I'm saying that the ones that were in all seven seasons, oh my goodness.

And they stood in front of the fan.

They stood in front of the fan and they looked the apples.

They had to catch the apple.

Yeah, they really did, because.

People needed to watch. They had to watch.

Yeah.

I mean, my mom probably should have known that I was gay when I started referring to desper Housewives when I was in like freshman year of high school, as quote unquote, my show, Oh, my show's on, and I'm a fourteen year old boy.

Listen, You're right, soap needs to come back, and it is back morning show we have. All I want is for you to understand the joy.

It's really you have to bathe in these waters.

Everyone is committing.

I don't know why I haven't.

I think that there's so much for you to enjoy.

I think I just have to do.

Don't you think would be like screaming every episode? I would say the only person that I'm curious that I think I want Sudie's opinion on and I want your opinion on too. I feel like they're all committing to the same idea, except for she's not doing it in the wrong way. I think Greta Lee is kind of like, I'm gonna approach this as if this is like doddaiism. She plays a weird character.

Yeah, she's also got I'm sorry, but the weirdest, the weirdest character the world in the show Greta Lee.

And in some weird ass dialogue and then.

In this second episode of the third season, they throw this kind of like big twisted at the end, like they're like something with her character that makes her a lot bigger. But I think they saw past lives coming and like beefed her up or maybe.

Or something like that.

But her start, and I just want to say, I know that I'm on record as saying that Jennifer Aniston is the most watchable person in the world and that's why the Morning Show works. Reese is recing in these first two episodes, Reese is definitely.

When Reese races, it's truly beautiful, and she goes, you have to be the rindsome you have to be the Rinds. I'm terrified.

Do you think they know about your last year telling me.

Didn't you have to be the Ransom? No, that moment, I was like, I was peak peak Stone on the plane.

It was really Reese was racing. Yeah, and look out for the season. Also, I love so in the first season she had red hair, her character had like red hair, and she's wearing one of the worst wigs in modern human history. And then in the second and third season they just changed her hair to reach Wetherspoon's hair, Like it's just Reese and what I love, Yeah, what I love is like you can sort of see her roots growing in and even the roots are like obviously brown,

It's the perfect show.

Going up to the showrunners and she's like, I feel like next season, like I'm blonde, like she tried it, and like, you know, like women change their hair like all the time. You know, it's not I mean, I make that buy. I don't think it's like a big deal. She changed her hair, her hair, and.

We think that that works force. We can work with that the best.

I love energy here, Bradley Jackson is in with even in a fictional setting, a remark one of the remarkable historical figures of her timeline. Let's say, because she moved from being a nobody to anchoring the evening news of a legacy media terrestrial TV linear TV news program, and she went to space and went to space within three years. Within three years, she her career has been president. I wouldn't be a Republican. She's kind of centrist, she's sort

But what these characters always say to her is they go, Bradley, You're the only person in America who can speak to both sides.

And in the first season, Kelly Clarkson cameos as Kelly Clarkson and after she sings her song heat, she turns to Bradley Jackson and says, your truth teller, Bradley, I stim few.

It's an amazing show.

It's one of the best shows on television bar none.

Kelly Clarkson says that.

Kelly Clarkson, Yes, no, Kelly, Kelly sends it Kelly, Oh God kills it.

God. Well, I wish that that person existed that she's supposedly talking, and.

She kind of does in this little world on TV on the screen and it's it's right there waiting for you. You're gonna love it.

I'm gonna dive deep. I'm gonna be texting you guys. Blocks of texts that you can answer much later. Is yes, you're so right about that text thing.

I always think that I'm saying, like it kind of they did it on the other well, good.

Way to do it there is, Yeah, the exchange, it's just just cut, just cut you a little time. We're going to get you know that that's not feasible because then it's a whole other setup for one God, and you're I've never produced.

I've never produced.

All the time.

That's you would not set up a whole new angle, a whole new shot just to do this ridiculous And I'm sorry, but it's ridiculous.

I just wish that like action in television and movies didn't have to happen over text because it's like even phone calls were kind of like now we're watching a phone call, but it is like how people communicate, but it's very hard, like unless somebody is walking really fast while they're texting, it's hard to give it like immediately.

Yeah, there's like a lot of like so fast android users in the films and televisions.

Like I saw someone speak on like a Motorola phone. I'm like, what are these crazy phones?

That's how I know it's a movie.

Yeah, well, you know when the villain has a Samsung, you go Apple didn't want the villain to have an iPhone.

Oh my god.

You know what I'm thinking right now, Like the fact that like we're watching the Morning Show it's on Apple TV Plus and there's this like cyber attack thing and they like give us all your phones like they got through the wireless. It's like, is there anything there? That must have been a huge meeting. It was a big meeting. They're like, how do we handle this.

Between the EPs and the Apple exects. But Tim Cook was saying.

I don't know about this. Why are you doing gay voice? All Bow and Yang's characters are gay. I don't know why all his characters have to be gay.

You know what I mean.

It's just like play something normal, like I know, doesn't have to all be gay.

That's my crutch. Yeah, stop doing gay voice. You're even doing it now. This is not how you talk. I know. This is I'm doing the accent. You're doing the accent doing the voice. Well, what enjoyous time. I love getting together with Mike Coven and Spooky Season together.

Spooky Season, does anyone do you have any words for people going into fall.

For Countum, I.

Would say, be in your spooky era. Don't be afraid of the ghouls and ghosts inside of you.

But do be afraid of the ones in the Exorcists trailer.

Say that, and I.

Would say, this is America, baby, There's much much more, just more of this, more of this, It's more, just more's this every day, whatever you say.

It's just more of this Halloween, It's just more of the real beautiful.

We end every episode with, of course, the song Yes America of Meriica Guys Race song Me.

And crawdnagot Wro from See to Shine Nme See thank You. Patriotism is back.