Look mad oh, I see you? Why why? Oh? And look over there? How is that culture? Yes? Goodness, culture is just calling and it's a little bit of a tradition. It's a little bit of a yearly tradition. It's a bit of a yearly tradition. As I think, what's space, Teva said, I'm sorry, I did not understand. I believe it was Teva who said tradition, tradition. Oh is this from Fiddler? Fiddler? You need to know more Jewish culture? I do, I do, and especially after I mean, Jews
have been trending. The word Jews has been trending all week on Twitter. Isn't that? Our guest is already shaking her head, being like, why are you going in this direct? Because Nick Cannon popped off and said all that crazy stuff. Yeah, I have to say, celebrities have been losing their minds. It's almost like they two as human beings, are going through the same things that we all are. You know, you have to kill the Karen inside your brain, your head.
Have you killed your Karen? Oh? No, she is. She is going around shutting down, shutting down everything, shutting down everything. You know what gags me that that sort of Kate Gosslin haircut. We talked about this. Yeah, but okay, so I have something to reveal. So I am working on a new show. It's called hot Dog. It's going to be on HBO, and you talk about this. I actually I asked if I could talk about it and they confirmed that I could. God bless, how much can you reveal?
Because there's so much good There's so much good stuff to reveal. And I'll talk about it on the app because it's part of my summer of count Yes, spoiler alert, but I wanted to just say up top that I had my hairstylists on the show. His name is Dean Hi. Dean. He did the original American Idol Season one hairstyles. So when he talked for everyone, for all of them, so including like Tamira, including Tamira, she okay, I'm telling you, like iconic, Justine Justin, he like they were like they
basically were like Nicki. So this is this is where it all connects back. Nicki McKibbin had the original Karen haircut. Wow, and we can confirm because you can't really thought it was Kake Goslin. No, it's Nicki McKibbin I mean famously really, as our guest actutely put it in the sketch um the Mother's Day Sketch and SNL years ago, cascading waterfall on the front and knives in the bat that is pioneered by Nick McKibbin. And this gentleman Dean who is
now doing your who does my hair? And I said to him as a joke, I was like, so did you give Kelly Clarkson her iconic chunky blonde highlights? And he was like, actually yes, And I was like what he was like, but that was a mistake, And I was like, it was not a mistake. It was, in fact one of the most iconic thing that's happened in her history. It's like the event to penicill and it was by accident, but it was it changed the world, I mean. And then I told that to my mom
and my mom goes, well, he started a trend. Yeah, It was like, did it really started trying? Did women start getting those blonde, streaking, shrinking highlights? Our guest is shi taking her head. Yes, I think we can give Dan the credit end, but for to originate the chunky highlight and the Karen haircut and the Karen haircut and not for nothing but maintain the integrity of Justin Guarini's curls.
My god. He also was responsible really for like the Ryan Seacrest hair moment, which was the flat iron of it all. Think about this iconic person. Was was you have askedine if you worked on season two as well? Because he didn't work on season two, and I got I got more intel about that about Clay and Kimberly law. You know that he was responsible for Kimberly lacks glow up. I got all the t a lot of which I cannot say on here, of course, because it's too go
o O D D D D D D good. Um. I was I was going to a Trenise rabbit hole the other night, and she had she had some. I was voting for Trenise. I was voting for Trinee several weeks. I remember I was very crest fallen when she was eliminated. Crestfallen, Crest fallen, and wow, Dean, what an impact, an icon and you've got an iconic beard. Um, but listen, um,
speaking of iconic, we have the third of our series here. Well, this is her fourth time on the fourth time on and I guess, like what like six or seventh time on the podcast, six or seven time on the podcast she was okay. So I think she planted the seed in the way that we on this podcast have talked
about Ellen. This actually is huge. And I was thinking about this because look, if you go back all the way to Lost Culture, is this third episode which had our guest fourth I believe, oh yeah, fourth episode because it was an Andresen Daved Mazzoni, then our guests. I think, so something like that. Anyway, very early on we literally have an episode called Ellen and the Ellen, and we were speaking out even then it was me who was saying I had a bad feeling about Allen, and you're
so right. I was dead on. You were a thought leader in that way. I mean, here's the deal about the Ellen of it all. And after we say this, well, we can talk about it for this for a second and then we have to bring him a guest. But here's the deal. I feel that this news cycle about Ellen's show, how being a toxic behavior, being a toxic workplace reported on by busfeed, reported on by busfeed. If by the way, if you're curious, yes, we are drinking
on this episode. We're having a brunch moment. I'm having a vodka watermelon cayenne drink bone and our guest are drinking watermelon vodkas. You're so you you're drinking watermelon bourbon drink. Oh, I'm drinking so you already see its effect. I'm drinking a watermelon bourbon. They're drinking watermelon vodka. And so let's
understand that as as you listen. But I um never had a good feeling about Ellen from the beginning because of the way she handled the Matthew Fox alleged, well, that punching a woman in the stomach incident, and then and so now a public transit worker, public transit worker, you know, alleged. I just didn't love the way that it came off on. The thing that I'm reacting to about this Ellen moment is it's being very pawned off
on her executive producers. And here's the deal. It's like Ellen didn't get to be Ellen by just clocking in, coming to work and doing Ellen and going home. Ellen, if your name is on that show, you are responsible for the workplace environment. And you've got more than ten people saying that it's toxic and not appropriate and so and just in terms of the culture of like bullying there,
so she is responsible for that. And also things trickled down from the top, so it's not this thing that just the executive producers on her show have to deal with. It's something that she has to deal with. It's really disturbing and really disappointing, and it feels like God, I mean, the comment that's most chilling to me is, um, one black employee I think a writer or someone uh walked in and then producer was like, oh, you have boxed breads too. We'll we'll get you confused with the other one.
Come on like that. It's like that point of ship. It's like, wait, it's not even like sophisticated thought, not that any racist thought is even sophisticated, but it's like just it's just so crazy that people feel comfortable to make comments like that, and it is her responsibility because it is her face and brand. And I'm sorry, but what's bothering me it always has bothered me, is the dichotomy and what appears on screen and what goes on
behind the scenes. Because everyone knows that works in this industry, that she has a reputation for not being nice and so for her brand to be I'm the nicest woman in Hollywood. It just it's it's it's lies and it's it's just the sort of stuff that I hate about the industry, which is that no one is actually projecting reality.
Sure except our guests, except our guests. You know, the only real person in Hollywood is our is our guests, And um, we should say that the Ellen discourse, which we started on this podcast eventually led out into Patty Harrison's feud with Ellen. That she's accounted, but it all started here. Before you start to give Patty Harrison credit because talk about toxic mean that one and toxic fultree fultry and someone who has contributed to the rise of
Patty even our guests. She was like shaking her head, like what the fuck I say? I don't think our guests had anything to do with Patty And for you that, I'm gonna Patty, if you're listening, you owe our guests. This is so career you do. I think that Bowen is saying that because our guests is, you know, iconically and famously a writer on Shrill, a real mover and shaker.
And not only that, I mean. In addition to that, she is a writer at the Saturday Night Live, which I think you know you know more about how she moves and shakes over there. Yes, she's um. She's very much leader, thought leader, thought leader at SNL. Um has influence over the Thursday rewrite table lunch. Wow, it's just sort of press with them on the scale for the kind of really how to eat. It's very important, very important.
This is why I want to I really I feel like I have like a proximity to the show because you guys are on it. But I also like don't understand like what you guys are eating for lunch, you know what I mean. So there's always more I could know. Very important. This is the split Sider article that we're missing food like bad. Alright, So before we start to absolutely give too much sorry because the wall has already been broken, let's just say, um, lots of things uh
in store in the future for our guests as well. Yes, that's true. Um. So, yes, this is our third installment of Summer of kunt We'll get into that in a minute. For people who are new to the concept, she's one of our best friends for over a decade, well from let's just get this straight for me over a decade and what about for me? I don't know your life. I don't I don't know the intimate details of your life. But what can you say the first time day that
you met our guests? Yes, I remember, I've told her this recently. I was like, I don't remember. What can she finish your sense? Okay, so let's bring her into the conversation. Everyone, please give a welcome into your ears to suit Green. Hi, how are you even? Oh god, I'm so good. I'm thinking about lunch now. Sorry to be honest. Wait, what is the deal with SNL lunch? It's bad, that's a deal. It's that like we don't get fed there. It's so funny. Apparently like the it
has to know. This is what happened with guilt, honey, up the guilt started on the guild. Because you know, I'm now all guilt. You are what they call it, captain. You are the w for shrill as of um three days ago. And then that morning I was told, and then that evening honey, I'm at the meeting and you would rather be at the meeting than not because I told you. I was like, you were immediately like, that's fucking disgusting. No, I didn't say that's disgusting. I said,
I said, you already do so much work. You have two jobs, you're so you're so busy all the time. I just know that like adding another thing to your schedule, which is like another duty. I was like, is that something you want to do? But you said absolutely, the Fight for Justice, Unions, collective war, Writer's Troumbo, Honey Tumbo, never forget, Never forget Trumbo, number four, never forgets Trumbo. That is not a burden, Okay, that is actually that's
actually a purpose. Okay, that's duty. Collectivism, collectivism over individualism. Funny, actually so funny because I mean, we gotta started off talking about the wa all connected. That have you guys seen when Chelsea Peretti hosted the w g A West like w g A Awards, and she's it's the funniest monologue in the world. It's like joke for jokes, so funny. It's also like written like to me for me, like so that's why I love it. It was, it was and probably the smartest kind. She comes out on stage.
She comes out on stage and it's like a ballroom people are like eating eating dinner or whatever. It's like noisy, and to get everybody quiet down, she goes lunches here. Sorry, I just wanted everybody to pay attention. Oh my god, Writer's room. Absolutely joke, absolutely joke. I love that she's so good. She's so good. Boone and I have been doing a bit because we're now roommates. Yes, so we
should just say be transparent. Study and Bowen. As you know, Boonen is here in Los Angeles as of the moment, and Studio is here as well. There's staying together in a gorgeous sort of home and Altadena gorgeous sort of home. I say sort of home because it's the home in the back. It's a prefab home built in the forties by an architect, Gregory Aine. He built a bunch of architectural park formats. Are you fucking kidding? You know all
this our airbnb host Randy. We have to talk about Randy soon, but hold on, let's put a pin in that Randy is an iconic airbnb host. We have to say, um, but yes, Study and I are are. Study and Iron have been in each other's cohabitant hating pods. And then of course, Matt's in our Grando who wasn't really in our pod. It's US two, US three, Jared Booster, and then we see Louis for drag race, and Lewis comes over for drag racing, and and Lewis is also being
very being very Greta and Greta. I mean, I guess it's going to be up to the listeners. I feel like I've seen consistently, I've seen between five and six people who have only seen us, who have only seen us, and all of us in the pot are getting tested weekly.
I actually get tested every day. Then you get tested every day because Matt's in production scandalously, and you know it's not we're being as safe as we can, you know, I mean, I mean everything has risk, right, everything has a risk, But I mean we're really saying we're being safe. I mean as safe as you can as you can. Yeah, absolutely, I mean, like you know, we're it's all that are.
You gotta communicate to be transparent and and like you know, we're moving in too, We're moving into a phase where where it's it's it's not absence, it's it's safe sex. It's safe sex. It's safe sex. And and you kind of and your mental health and you gotta balance it. Yeah, you got a balance. But I'm not seeing any old people. I'm not not seeing all people. No, no, no, no no. And I have to say, if you can, to be totally real, I would not see anyone if I felt
there was risk, and I feel risk. Um, it's just it's just just of course, really, the conversation around coronavirus, it does start with that, well, and it doesn't end with and you know, so you know, so we can be but we're really we're really grateful and we're really lucky. Really, you know what we should say on a serious on a serious note, we are very lucky, the three of us, very lucky, very lucky girls. I literally do feel lucky to be I'm I'm actually working right now and it
feels very good to do that. And I will say in terms of like the set is run so safely, yea, So can I talk about the show a little bits? Talk about the show right, because I've been telling you guys about it, but I do want to tell everyone about it because I'm so excited about it and like, you guys are gonna love it. And I feel like everyone's gonna love. It's a hit. I think it's a hit. So it's called hot dog h a U T h a U t E hot. Which is it hot or is it see? We are not pronouncing it like but
the references, but the pronunciation is hot. But there's an alternative pronunciation, which is you split the difference in its hot. It would be it would be see and it's not. No, it is see. It's like it's pronounced hot dog yeah, spelled dog yeah yeah. But I will say basically what it is before we get to off that damn rails about the fucking title is it's a dog grooming competition show. It's nailed it nailed the picture nailed it. But it's
dog grooming. And I'm not talking about people that like have never No, it's really competitive, like skilled skilled groomers from all across the country that come to compete. Three competitors compete. They have a first round which is like they all get the same dog and they have to do like a cut dry wash like basically breed, same breed, not the same single dog. No no, no no, they
all get the same breed of dogs. So for example, like three West Easill come in and the job will be like y'all have to cut, dry, wash the dog, and show us like the breed standard of that dog, etcetera. And then the second one is the main challenge, and that's like they get to bring a dog of their own, choosing whatever dog they want, and they basically style it, cut it like color it into a theme. So if the theme is like a Hollywood glamour like, the theme
is like, I'm serious, it's the cutest ever. It's like gathering up ready for the Oscars Red carpet. The greed standard of Hollywood glan Yeah, and that of course is Margot Robbie. But basically that, it's like every episode is a different theme, so it's like a toy theme is like a disco theme. I love as long as it's not Circus. We were talking about the way we hate circus.
My god, I literally thought to myself yesterday as I was like getting out of makeup, I was like, I realized, I don't know all the themes, and I was like, I wonder if they're doing Circus because we all hate Circus Legendary. Ever since the Circus theme on Legendary, we've all agreed that like I don't like that aesthetic. It's a bad aesthetic. It's a limited there's limited motifs within that aesthetic. It's like, okay, you do like a clown
clown or stripes or top hat. It's also like, you know, Brittany did it, now Katie Perry is doing it, and it we don't need this topsy turvy kind of like big top aesthetic anymore. It's done. We've seen the skirt, we've seen the little like baton. We don't need it. And also I'm going to put a caveat on that, and I don't I don't like magicians. I don't like magic.
We we don't like And I were watching Me Night Gospel and that it's that show that I'm Pelican word show, but it pulls audio from this this podcast that's like about meditation and transcendent old stuff for me past. But it's it's great. But the third episode is that he talks to a magician and I was like, skip it. We're so high. And I was like, I don't like this. I don't like magicians. You need to skip it now. Study shut it down very quickly, and I was like, okay,
so there's something going on. Here. You know, there's also like what is funny about like a very successful magician, is that like showman trickery kind of like it's not art and it's not real magic and it's trickery, which I don't like. And then there's that like honytail showman vibe which is really gross, and like sleight of hand,
which is I don't trust personally. Then you have like popping off of that base reality, you get like the cool magicians, which is like I'm not your standard magician, I'm actually a cool magicians. Yeah, and and and then and then don't even get me into the subset of women who date magicians. I mean, it's it's what it really is is it's a representation for me of male privilege and the fact that you can be kind of the worst type of man in the world, which is
a magician. And um date David Blaine found dead. David found dead. Well, this is the thing because magicians they do well. The magician culture has Magician culture is circulating yourself with a hot woman. Now it's sort of bled into TikTok culture where this the origin of these are all cakes is magicians on TikTok, and I called this out back in January um with Miss Morendown. She asked me, like,
what's freaking you out right now? Is like magicians on TikTok who will pour water into a glass and then take a knife and cut into it and it's a chocolate cake. And you're like, how they did they do that? But it's this is what it's. It's them distorting reality and making you question reality. And also my thing with the cakes on the Instagram that they cut over, which is where is the frosting? Where if there's not a
layer of some of them are just fond. It's some of them that you cut them open, and it's just like Betty Crocker cake. You know, if that's a dry just material that's not cake. You need at least one layer of frosting in the cutting cake would agree. Otherwise it's just it's just like it's just a brownie basic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like a banana bread. It's just that cake. I
totally agree. I have I actually have a little bit of tee to spill about the which I forgot to say on the last episode, but concerning the circus aesthetic with pop stars, get this so at the era of time when Brittany released Circus and Pink had Funhouse Out. You'll remember this also was the era when Kelly Clarkson released All I Ever Wanted, her album, which had the singles my life would suck without you, I do not hook up, already Gone, etcetera. Not a good album, no, no, no, no,
I think a great album. You know, she did not enjoy that experience. Well, this was her sort of like white flag album because she tried to do My December and then she came back and she was like, I'll be a pop star again. Fine, but one thing she did not submit to was that album was supposed to be called Masquerade and the front cover was supposed to be her like with a little like Phantom of the Opera sort of mask on. And she said, too many
girls are doing this circus thing. So no, but if you look at the sort of album art, it's her like a black jacket against like a sort of orange. Yes, like a circus thing. So they kept the circus color store all her story, but she was like, I want to be styled normal, and we'll call the album All I Ever Wanted. We're not calling him Masquerade. But the album was supposed to be called Masquerade, and she was like, too many girls are doing the circus thing's too many
circus girls and we need a pivot. Wait did I finish talking about Hot Dog? Well, the I mean, the last thing I really have to say about it is I'm having the best time, and it's it's me Jess Rhona, who is like incredible. She's like the head judge, she's like the expert. She has got it really amazing. You should all follow her on Instagram if you don't already. She's like a celebrity dog groomer. So she grooms like Katy Perry's dog, nugget, she grooms like you know, Jane
Lynch's dog. She grooms like Megan Malali's dog. She's like a celebrity dog groomer. And so she really knows what the she's talking about. And the other judges Robin Feedy, who I fucking love huge, and she loves you s I fucking love Robin and her style. Yeah, forget about the fashions on this show, forget about it. It's she looks, she looks, and she wearing fascinators. I think she's wearing some and headpieces, some little small little hat you can you can look forward to to at least a couple
of tiny hats. And she remembered you from when she interviewed you for the nightly show. Oh shit, I forgot about that. She said that she remembered you from when you guys like had coffee and talked about you years ago interviewing for the nightly show and like a job you didn't get, but she said it wasn't because you weren't amazing and she remembers you from that. Wo oh my god. Okay, so I remember this was like I think after w KML Bell. This was after w KMAL Bell.
So like I showcase for SNL one summer and then the next summer I submitted a packet and I got it, and so like there was like that year where I was like going out for things all the time. And so they did the nightly show. This is why I'm a hack and this is why um I'm bad. Um they did a nightly show showcame at UCB East and this was UM did this yeah, yeah, yeah, to be a correspondent. And I was like, okay, bitch, you gotta pull out your damn Middle Eastern ass mustache. Jasmine bitch material.
And you know, I had multiples upon multiples of being like salo salom salm, you know what I mean. You absolutely have to get the dance. And before you said before you went on, you said I booked this. I said, intill I book this, and I said, Mercy larry villemore. I am not saying he's he's He's comedy is very political and um anyway, so I did like all of my like capital P persian um material, and I was like, they're going to eat this up and guess what bitch
they did? But was I heard for the job? No, I don't think started out on the second season. I think she. I think she. I think she got in later on. It was a really great experience on and and I think I even went in. I didn't. Did I screen test. I can't remember. I can't remember. I've I've blocked out most things from my entire life, especially what has to do with my career. I don't know. I don't like to go back there, but now I am, and you can kind of see it in my head.
We were talking. We went on a hike. We went on a socially distanced type with our friend Billy Domino the other day. Um, and then you did very naturally. Yes, Oh, I guess I was working. You were working very naturally, like college stuff came up and we were just like, oh my goodness, remember that trip and that trip very naturally and then Sudi and I I support this move and this instinct with Sudi immediately was like I don't want to talk about the past. And always study is
so comfortable ending a conversation. I really I love it. Well. I think it's because I'm a big compartmentalizer and I really need to talk about this in therapy because I've been thinking about a lot because like, you know, yesterday, who were we talking about. Were we talking about palm springs or we're talking about somebody that has to do with s n L. I can't remember, and I just like kind of like shut down and like didn't want
to talk about it. And I think that I'm like such a big compartmentalizer that your world can't collide my I don't like talking about like work, which gives me the most stress possible. And I also think, you know, like working at SNL, you're constantly confronted with the idea that you have of that place growing up, the image that people have of that place and the people that work there, which is like, you know, mostly reverence and positivity and like people love the work that comes out
of there, which is great. But you're constantly like kind of grappling with your own experience, and I think that that causes me stress. Of course, it's also your job, you know what I mean, And anyone talking about their job, no matter what it is, it's going to be like
that's work. And when I'm not at work, I prefer not to like get into it because there's complicated things about it, you know what else I also think it is and I think this is how it is about like talking about college too and like being nostalgic for that time, which is I constantly have this anxiety of like I didn't enjoy that enough, or I didn't absorb that enough, or I wish that I had made the most out of that experience or done it again, or
I didn't do it right. And I think that's a big thing with the SNL stuff, which is like and that person was there and that show was so amazing
and blah blah blah. But all I'm thinking about is like how stressed I was how stressed I was, or I didn't want to go to that after party because um I was like really bummed out that day, or I was exhausted, or like, you know, we were talking about Skidmore and I all I could think about is like the anxieties that I had at that after party, or like that I wanted to go home, or like I didn't you know, want I didn't hook up with that guy that I want to hook up with or whatever,
and like what is that? Why? Why why do I only focus on that? Well, I don't know what the answer is into why we focus on it, but I actually do think that there is something to be gleaned from that, which is I need to just let things go more in the moment, like in the moment of things understand later there will come a time when I wish I had enjoyed this, So why not enjoy it now?
That's what I try to feel about. Like whenever I am feeling anxious or uncomfortable or feel like challenged by something, I just try to remind myself in five years, you will be laughing about it, or you won't remember it, you know what I mean? Either one of those two things. You'll either laugh about that thing, or you won't remember that thing, or it'll be like a negative experience. But that's literally the opposite of what I'm saying, you stupid bit. Yeah,
that's true. That's true because sometimes I think, no, no, well bone yard stupid and um And honestly, man, what you're saying is true because I look back on the darkest days of my career when I was shipping water thinking about like the Emmy's. So that was that? Would you say that was the most challenging thing you've ever think that? That was the first week of my none of life, but there was the most stressful career situation.
Why Well, Okay, basically it was the year that um, Colin and Chay hosted the Emmys and I will never so then that was the year that they had the most diverse nominees that the Emmys had ever had, So um, I kind of came into that. I wasn't like at first hired to write for that Emmy's because I was at Shrill. This is the first season to Shrill, And then I came back from Shrill and then I was like, Oh, everybody that I know is we're on the Emmy's let me be a dumbass and be like, hey, do you
guys need me to like come and help. Also, like fran Glaspie, my writing partner was like writing on it, and I was like, I feel like, why aren't I going to go hang out with that girl? And I was like, Oh, it'll be fun. L O L literally l O L E L O H. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah,
we're there. So because this was like the most diverse nominate nominate group of nominees that they had ever had, we wrote this like ironic like fun song for Kate and Keenan called We Solved It, which was like we solved diversity, which was like l O L. Of course we didn't, ha ha ha. You know, we went and
kaepernaked it like we didn't solve it. And also like cut to like all of the nominees like all the winners being white true, and I was like sitting in the writer's room and like I like remember turning to sam J and me being like what happens if they're all white and her being like, Suti, they are going to be all white. This is like how it happens. And it was like such a moment of like, oh my god, like she wasn't fooled for one second. And my like dumb liberal pant suit nation asked, was like
it's happening. She was like, no, bitch, absolutely not. So in like truestinal fashion, you know, Lauren was producing the Emmys and he wanted like every celebrity under the sun to be in this opening number. And I was like, great, it's going to be a pre tape, right, and I like remember the day, and like Fran was like, no,
it should be live. And Frans like it should be live, and I was I was like, or it could be a pre tape because we had like watched these other like opening numbers and like like Colbert had done like a great opening number that was had La La Land been out at that time, Yeah, it could have referenced Lalla Land the beginning of that yes, m yeah yeah La La Land. What I'm saying like, I'm saying like
it could have referenced like that number in the beginning. Alright, keep going with your stupid story and and and Fran was like it should be live, and everybody was like, yeah, it's SNL We're used to it being live. This will be like something that we bring you like no, and so then cut you like the worst week of my life. Okay.
So first of all, the stage that they had they had these like big screens and it was like all of these different like ten like separated LT screens that would open in this like cool accordion way and clothes and oh my god. The guys who produced um the show were these this British production company called Done and Dusted who were all like, honey, absolutely, and they like
produce everything. I think they produced like the Oscars, the Tony's, like Dancing at the Stars, like they're like huge, the Oscars, the Tonys and everything and dancing with the stop Everything's time Banks. We'll talk about that later. So we're talking with Jenna Dusty guys about these about like the choreography and like what's going to happen, and they're like, yeah, they won't. They won't be able to make that entrance. They won't be able to because see the screens they
take um about thirty seconds to open and close. And we're like okay, and then we're like well, then John Legend comes out on the piano and they're like no, he can't come out on the piano. Because because of the screens. And I was like, okay, so you guys coming down from like a thing from the ceiling, well that they could do. They could carring Andy Samberg down,
like you know, hundred feet from the ceiling. He's also like hanging out up there and like the tea is that we almost cut him and he was like, no, don't you dare fucking cut me, because I've been up in the rafters of rehearsals plummeting into my death like five different times, like don't make all in vain? Yeah exactly.
It was like basically, are you fucking kidding me? But that was like the chaos we were like and then maybe we cut Andy and like you know this, the British director was kept telling us that we had to cut two minutes and he was like, I'm not being funny, girls, I'm not being funny. But like anyway, I'm not being funny.
I'm not being funny. He was like, you need to cut two minutes and which means you have which means you have to essentially cut major celebrity out of the number exactly, and like well, also, the funny thing was that like when they were like you need to cut two minutes. Fran and I have like you know, sn l PTSD and people come up to us all the time and say that we have to do it, and we nod our heads and we say okay, but we're
gonna but it's hell. I mean it's hell. But we were like okay, yeah, and the director took that as like, these girls aren't listening to me, and because we were so calm, and we were like okay, yeah, and he was like, I'm not being funny, and we were like no, I mean, he wasn't yelling at us. He was being like he was at work and he was trying to direct was like the day before the Emmies, you know what I mean. And he was like he didn't understand like that we had understood it, you know what I mean.
And he was like, I'm not being funny, and we were like yeah, no, we're going to do it. And they just like didn't clock that, like you were used to that level of pressure because they felt like these are two young girls, like they might not understand the gravity of what I'm saying. God is gender, I mean, the girls is I'm not being funny girls, I mean, come on, come on, but whatever, what are you gonna do? So ultimately, what was what was it like rehearsing that
number with all those celebrities? We couldn't make entrances and exits on this stage and we had like a million celebrities that we're honestly like so fucking down, Like Kristen Bell was there, Ricky Martin was there, I mean everybody was really I think Rue Rue was there, everybody. I think kind of John Legend, everybody kind of like absorbed, especially like the morning of the Emmys, kind of absorbed what is happening And we're like all pros and we're like, Okay,
we're gonna make this work. But it was just like one of those things that wasn't working until the very end, and we really almost cut it the whole, the whole number, the whole number, which would have felt awful, which would have felt horrible. And so the reason why I was like kind of the worst week in my life was that every single morning I was waking up and having to go to these rehearsals, that everything was changing at
the SNL. You know, we changed things all the time, and our crew can handle it, and our wardrobe department and everybody is just like, yep, this is how things work. But you know, at a major award show, everything is locked and loaded way wait wait wait wait before and we were working kind of SNL style at a place that wasn't I didn't know that that was going to be the deal. The flexibility wasn't built in, and the cruise and the departments were not people that you were
familiar with. Yeah, and they all did an incredible job, but it was all like a lot of like, well, we can't what are you talking about. It's two days before the fucking Emmy's We can't fucking change that. Um. So it was a lot of changes, a lot of changes, a lot of changes and um yeah, like the night before we had done a run through and um it was so it just like didn't work. It just wasn't working.
It just like wasn't working as a piece, Like it wasn't funny or wasn't didn't really probably never funny, but the entrances and the exits weren't working. The timing wasn't working. Certain people's parts weren't um um quite fleshed out. Or it was felt sweaty, That's what I would say. It
felt sweaty. And when you say sweaty to find that for the for the late people, it's overwrought and makes you nervous because it doesn't quite click, and the audience is nervous for you and the performers because they know it's which is the number one thing you don't want just for the audience at home or in the audience watching to feel nervous while they're watching something happen. Yeah, totally. Um. And so the night before it was like do we
cut it? Do we not cut it? They really didn't want to cut it because they wanted Chay and Jost to come out and be able to do their monologue with the audience already warmed up, and also it was
hosted by Changes. But something that they were really into was like showcasing Keenan and Kate, who were both nominated and like they were starting off the show, and I think like in theory, it was a really great idea to do this musical number at the top, and um, Jos took the script from me, which had like a million rewrites on it, and went through it and cut things down and move things and you know, cut beats and everything. And I really was sitting there talking to him,
being like, you can't change that. You can't change that because that person has rehearsed this number and tomorrow is the Emmy's And he was like, if this piece is going to survive, this is what needs to be happened. This, this is what needs to be happening. This is what needs to happen. And I was freaking out, and the
are incredible head of Snel costumes. He sat down and he could see how nervous I was, and he turned to me and he said, like, you know about all these like celebrities and amazing performers that were about to perform, and he said to me, they're all pros and they're
not going to funk it up on TV. It's their job to do it, Tom said Tom, And not for nothing, but you got talking about pros, like anyone who even volunteers to do the number is going to be someone like Kristen Bell, you know what I mean, who has like a theater background and is a professional and is ultimately a machine or Titus Burgess. Right, And then it was like and it was a fucking miracle because we
did all these changes. Then the morning of everybody comes for the rehearsal, and they think that they're just going to be doing what they did, you know two days before. Almost everything is different, almost everything, and everybody was like okay, okay, yeah, okay, got it. And then we ran through it. It went great. It suddenly worked, like you're looking at it and you're just like, oh yeah, and then this person comes in and then this point is made, and then Andy comes
in and it all just like something's happening. Something's happening. The dancer has come out. It all worked and like everybody, you know, all of the producers, everybody was like looking at us like it worked. It worked, And in that moment I realized that like, oh my god, I might like actually have if this didn't I had the thought of like if this hadn't worked, I might like be fired like period, Like this was like such a like big undertaking that really wasn't working. My ass was truly
truly saved. Um one of each dancers is such a funny the one of each answer and then then everyone comes out and it's like all is representing pereographed by
Mandy Moore. God bless Mandy Moore, who was the Mandy Moore the Mandy Moore, who absolutely absolutely took every single change and was like, Okay, um, what's your I mean, we're sort of talking about it now, but like you look back on it now and you're like, Okay, a very challenging week of my life and career, but I've learned something like what's like, I do have this healthy
distance from it now two years later. I think that my takeaway from it is that that was the most pressure that I ever felt, and it was okay in the end, and I survived, yes, but like shooting water, panic attacks, not sleeping like the whole sheb Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And I think I got so wasted that night. Yeah, I would imagine absolutely, and I was thank god it was like the first number and they did it, and
then afterwards I was just like I was shaking. And then you're also nominated as a as probably a writer, right and you lose? Oh yeah, I already knew. Did you know who was going to win the awards? Do you know that? I think those are all sealed. I don't think anybody knows except for basically than the presenters because they have they hire like independent Okay, but you know what, even with these shows I never I never
know like exactly how real they are. Sure, Like with the Neil Patrick Harrison at all, speaking of magicians, um it's twenty minutes ago, but um yeah, that seems like I was very confused. But and see that's the thing with magicians is that I'm like, I don't know what's real and we're talking about it like four years later. Wait, what do you mean? The Neil Patrick Harrison when held to the Oscars and he was like, in that briefcase over there on stage left, like that's where like the
best picture envelope is, and I'll make it. I don't remember what the funk it was, but I was just like, I like, what is this for? Well? I always just wonder, like because the Emmys, Oscar's, Tony's Grammys, etcetera. They are all ultimately television shows, which you probably never understand more than when you actually write for it and are producing
it and I like behind the scenes. So for me, it's like it's not that I questioned the validity of who wins are like who gets nominated or what happens on the show, but I also know that like it does have to adapt and be exciting for people to like it at home and watch it. So I wonder if there's ever any sort of stuff going on with
like who wins to make it more exciting. But then I realized that can't possibly be true, because sometimes you do see someone win, like and this is not knocking her, but like Julia Garner from Ozark wins and Emmy and everyone's like who, But if you watch the show, you
would know who that was. That everybody from Godless one yeah, yeah, yeah, nobody had seen Yeah, Like, it's not every year is a year where it's like everyone watched um Friends and the whole cast of Friends one, you know what I mean. It's it's never like or like there's a narrative, like you know, it was the most diverse nominations that we've ever had, and that resulted in the most diverse winners ever.
Like it's not always linear like that, and that makes me feel like, oh, it must be them going by the book and like the person who gets the most votes wins. But in terms of like you're talking about, like the producibility of the award shows, it's like it's like with that year at the means, it's like it was the most diverse nominees, ever, and then it ironically
ended up being the whitest wins. It's ironic, but it's also that's this is what Sam was saying, which is like the voting body is the voting body, and it's still Hollywood and like kind of what I realized was that like, in that moment, even though the whole we solved it thing was like very like ironic and like tongue in cheek and like we weren't being serious about
that at all. But what I realized, what I learned in that moment um was that like probably all of the non white people in that audience, we're like, yeah, I was nominated, but I'm not gonna win. Yeah, you know, and even if they thought they were gonna win, Like I remember that being a particularly being a year where it was like there were a lot of deserving people of color that were nominated and that did not win.
Like and that's what's frustrating again and again, is like and I say again and again, but the facts of the matter is like in recent years there have been a lot of amazing people of color that have won and deservedly, so like, for example, like I was so happy when Tandy Newton won because I thought that she deserved it for the first year, and then she won for the second year, and like, you know, Uzo Aduba has two Emmys, and like we saw Viola Davis get
up there and win, and like there's so many. The only person that I feel like has constantly gotten the shaft year in and year out is Sandra Like what the funk is going on the weekend? And well, keen In not winning that year? I mean, and what was it was? Henry Winkler, right, which is like the voting body. It's like old white guys being like, we're not dead yet.
We love this, you know, television legend, but also worry he And that's the thing about like, you know, Claire floy Is, It's like, yes, she won because she deserved to win, but there were also women in that category who also deserved to win. So it's but it's the reason why you have Kamensky method making it pass first, that is, the Globes is like a whole different thing because it's like six people, you know, they're from different countries.
It's literally sucks up. It's literally it's literally like older white male foreign d method even makes it to the Emmys. But I do want to say that the for every last year, for example, for every kind of multiple awards um rapup of like let's say when they yes, which
was such a moment last year. I have and I'm not saying I'm not knocking the winds that you have a fleaback where it's like all these like white people, it's like Phoebean women women white women, Um, which is I mean like fleaback like deserved a lot of those awards, but it's like it's there's never I don't know, I don't ever envision a year maybe at any awards show where it's like, um, I think it's not balanced out by like something like but as people are voting, it's
not going to be good, you know what I mean. No, igree, I think I think it does defend. I think it does depend on the voting body. And I think that people that are artistic, if in a diverse voting body, which is where it lives and dies, will vote for the best art. Like I think that like if we can get like yeah, the diverse voting, which I think
they do try to do every year. I mean you see like the Academy announces like the new members that they're inviting and it is always like majority people of color as of the past few years. Like it seems like they really want to make this not a thing like where every year they're humiliated because yet again they can't they can't do this correctly. But I think that
if MICHAELA. Coel was not was eligible this year, I may destroy You would get tons of nominations and it would do just as well as Fleabeg did last year in the Comedy in the Comedy series. And it has nothing to do with really like Capital R Race period.
It has to do with the fact that she released the art of the comedic art that said a new thing that was performed, written for a new perspective and was the best and had people talking when no one was in the beginnings too, is that it's like bottom up, you know what you mean, and it's like it all starts from like the ground, which is like if if the independent films in the ways that people get to that Emmy nominated, OSCAR nominated level are not also are
are if if the gates to those things are closed for people you know who aren't, then the studios have to say we're gonna put for your consideration, time, effort, and money into these projects as well that are that it's not just are really commercially successful all white, Downton Abbey asked ship, you know what I mean, like and and Downton Abbey was great, But I'm just saying, like, you know, it has to be equal. And that's where the campaign gets weird for me, Like I wish it
wasn't even a thing. I wish it wasn't a political thing. It's like, if we're gonna have an Awards show and it be authentic, then like, let's just do this completely even and out. But I also understand the needs of campaign and like why people do it. But in terms of voting bodies, like I think this is not totally along but with Grammys. With the Grammys, it's like, oh, Beyonce lost to beck annidel Um, Kendrick Lamar lost to Taylor Swift. It's like there's these there. I don't know.
It's like these voting bodies are going to be these hegemonic things that live on to spite all these social changes. Well, there's still institutions, and I think it's important to do the work to dismantle these institutions. But I also feel like we need to place less value in these structures of power, and that to me feels like, Honey, the one the solution. I will fix everything, That's what I'm saying.
And yet you also like care and like want to win if you get nominated, won't will be bad if you don't get if I don't get nominated, care for what He's gonna say that he doesn't care, but he's going to have about three days where he likes rebound
from you. Definitely will because you guys get nominated every year. Yeah, yeah, but it's also maybe it's comforting to know that, like, well, we know almost know what the result is, like you'll get nominated and probably lose because they can't get over John Oliver, Honey, I am happy to dress up and eat a Wolfgang Puck little pudding. If after what are they going to do this year? We don't know. I don't generally have it, but they know they're going to
have it. And Jimmy Kimmel is like the host, and they're going to try to not do it over zoom like they're going to do something with it. That's what Robin was saying. Robin was saying that she thought they were going to do something. Um, we'll see. Okay, we have to let's see a quick break and we'll come back. Okay, we're back. We have to have to talk about summer of kunt This is ku three nt year. Many will say it's a lost summer, and perhaps it is, but
we are student and I still have a studio. They've been talking, we still have mission driven things to work towards the summer. I think we were talking. Let me over, do you We have movies we want to watch, and we have things we want to develop. That's the only thing we've been watching is the Disney Magic. Oh, Disney Fairytale Weddings gonna be the most amazing that I have basedly been enjoying. Disney Weddings with these two over while they've been here. Well, you have to say Disney Fairytale
Weddings because it is a fairy tale. Disney Fairytale Weddings on Hulu. Plus it made the list and it's what we really have been enjoying together. And now it really is what I'll put on when I'm when I'm in my excuse me, in your trailer and when I no, not my trailer and when I'm here at home. That's why I put it every narrative I love, which is
theme park wedding. And then there's a special series that is Holiday, so then you get the Christmas element and I'm I mean it's so you ultimately are rooting for them every step of the way, are you? No? Not at absolutely not. They always have a hot, non white couple that was clearly cast that are like smoke shows. And then the other couple and this is you big witnies, dud lipless whites with no lips, always something going on with the teeth, and also like you and this is
you know. I don't mean to be disparaging of this, but it's part of like the nastiness of Disney, which is that middle class people put all of their money into Do you think if they're on the show, they're paying for it? Think? I think that they applied and they probably got it, and Disney was like, will pay for your whole thing because you're on the show free
though I really don't. None of these couples seemed to me like couples that could afford this, but they But that is the demographic of the people that are that are doing Disney wedding. You think that the demographic of people that go out and get married at Disney are people who would save up and pay well beyond their means to get married in Disney. And that's what they do for the vacations. That's what they're I mean, they're
saving up for the American Yeah, it really is. Disney Weddings is the American to get married at two a m in front of Cinderella's castle is the American dream. Especially guest Olivia Newton John and Frizzy Barrel curls because your hair and makeup was done in nine PM. It's the new distortion. It's the new prism through which the American dream is refracted. What's been your favorite episode of
Disney Very Tail Wedding. I liked the first one, I believe, where it was the interracial couple, the Asian man and the that was and it was revealed that it was his dream to get married in Disney. So and she was so supportive the entire time and got very emotional about like how much she loves him, and it's a beautiful,
beautiful story. They loved Hockey. I also love it when like a couple's entire love and like foundation of their lives is based on like hockey or like you know, that's like a big thing or Disney in and of itself. But that made them more likable to me, which is that there. It wasn't their singular and Disney was not. They're only in No, they also liked hockey. And then they brought the Stanley Cup to the reception. Yeah, they
were freaking. It's like if they if I would have, if they had, if they had an oscar, if they had like Betty Davis's oscar on your wedding cake, I would not if let me say this right now and be very Julia Roberts's acar, No shut up. If I let me be very clear, If I ran out to the reception at my wedding and everyone that I knew and love was standing around Julia Roberts's oscar waiting for my reaction, I would be mortified. What do you mean? You would like? I My jaw wouldn't drop, and I'd
be like, oh my god, this is my dream. At least laugh I would ass off because but ultimately I would laugh my off because I am such a joke. If you all thought, you know, what Matt would really love on the biggest day of his life to run out and see Julia Roberts's Oscar rented sitting in the middle of the I would be literally, what prop do each of you guys want back to the future. Um, I want um come back to me, come back to me. I want to get married at Barbra Streisen's house. And
that's not a problem. You should get married in the mall downstairs, which is real, I've heard, I've had it confirmed. No, I mean it's known real. It's what what do you do when you own them all? Like so basically if you have a ma all underneath stuff. Well, it's not a mall per se, it's a it's actually very Disney because it's very turn of the century, kind of like, um, early nineteen hundreds. It's a Victorian kind of walk about.
And there's a place for her dolls, and there's a place for her costumes that she's kept a lot of period costumes. There's an old fashioned andy store. It's kind of like, um, a theme park more than it is like the Americana. Well okay, so but is it staffed. I'm saying it has to be. It's been staffed and
it's been maintained. There's an entire plate about like the guy who Um, I forgot what it's called, but Michael Ury was in it, and he is that that that's the play that is based on are you saying things that are wrong? I'm always saying things that are wrong. But but I guess my question is like does she call and advance like to it? That's what I'm thinking it is. And it's not like they're just sitting there
the whole day. No, they can't possibly be. Remember in UM, I believe it was very rich where he went down and there was a McDonald's and it was like a huge roller coaster and it was like he owned it all. And I was like, so this is like a bustling McDonald's, and where to believe that they're all working at a McDonald home. By the way, I want McDonald's so bad right now? Oh my god, how bad do you have McDonald's now that I said it? Zero point zero zero?
Usually I want McDonald's so bad I've fucking going on. I want it so bad I haven't eaten it. Every time I eat a McNugget, I'm like, this is just chicken. Paste. But that's because you're eating the McNuggets, bitch. I've always been the McNugget burgers. You need eat that, the most amazing burgers, chicken fingers all the way, the most amazing burger.
If you're a chicken finger bitch, pop off in the comment I have a chicken finger absolute bitch, But that doesn't mean that I can enjoy the most amazing burger from McDonald Although I love chicken fingers, but I judge other people that love chicken fingers. Yeah, study uses chicken fingers as senect to key for like trashiness of course classes. Um well, I don't like picky eaters. No, But she'll
go like, she'll go like, I can't marry. We were talking about Indian matchmaking, I think, and somehow I'd let into like the types of partners we want, and she was like, you know, I can't date. I can't marry, Like no chicken finger eating dude. It was it was that I was like going, I like met, like went on a socially distant state with a guy who was like, I love Budweiser. I was like, okay, is this classes to me to be like so unattracted to this person
for liking Budweiser. But it's like I can't be with no chicken finger picky eater. Ass bit like chicken fingers does not mean they're picky eaters. I'll eat everything fingers with no sauce, though, with a piste beer like Budweiser, it's not beer, I don't think so, Honey, Anheuser Busch queen. Look yall in Fort Green. You can't be drinking Budweiser. Sir? What kind of beer are they to drink? Literally anything? Yes? All day? I a founders, honey. Well, know what I'm
saying is that if you like Budweiser, that's fine. But if you have tasted other beers beside Budweiser and have said, no, I actually prefer the watery piss, then there's a taste level there that you are lacking. Some people like what they are used to. People like to drink a lot, and so they have, you know, things like bud light things. I want somebody as my partner, I get it. Who is going to expand their horizons? Audacious? You want an
audacious drinker? Yes, I want somebody who's an audacious drinker and at least at least orders a fucking Coroni got. There was a time where I think back in college, like when I was first we were talking about college. Sorry sorry, bit, there was a time when I had discovered Kraft beer and I thought it was like, this is the coolest thing ever, like like being like you know, like able to draw was like the peak of That's when the craft beer was. Like, remember I worked at
beer craft. I do you you are trashed through and through? Why? Because I worked in a Parkslo beer craft store craft beer store anyway, So what I'm saying is there was a time when I went to college and like I was able to drink, and I started to really like craft beer because I didn't know that it could be that. Yeah, I had only ever grown up around my dad drinking cords light all the time. And then you're like it can taste like pumpkin and I was like, oh, pumpkin beers,
you know, is my ship? I love pumpkin beer. Stick over the eight where they would get cinnamon sugar ram. Which is why am I popping off on people? Like when I'm like a cinnamon sugar rim, It's fine. The judgment level has to get way down, so basically I went I went back home for like a family thing, and I remember like my aunt's friend that was there. I was talking about beer with her, and she like
exclusively only drank Chores Light. And I said to her, like, I love craft beer, like I love this, and like I love have you ever tried, like, um, like this type of beer, this type of beer? And she looked at me like it was like a political thing and she was like and she was like, I don't know. I just like to drink this because I can drink a lot of it, and like walked away, and I was just like, okay, So like culturally it is a different thing, Like that's not my partner. Person is not
my partner. There's a whole Gia Talentino I see in this where she talks about sweet green being like the perfect food for millennials or for this like dissociative time in the world where it's like for for that for your aunt, she can drink a lot of it, and that's why she likes Scores Light. That's the reason why are you cold? Is that why you're doing that? With
a little bit a little bit. When I when I worked at beer Craft, um, it was like this craft beer store in Park Slope and you could taste the beers before you got like like a Costco. Yeah exactly, we tasted beers before we got it, and like it was awful of these like um functioning alcoholic dad's in Park Slope who would like you know it was it was fine that they were drinking a lot of this beer because it was crafty beer. It was like very clear, like that that was the deal. Um, like getting drunk
on a Sunday with the baby, God bless. I mean, we all should be able to do that. I mean, we are getting drunk on a Sunday, come on picnic tables, do you know what I mean? But they would be like, oh, what's that one? And I would just lie, I would just make shut up and I'd be like that one's happy.
And then they would be like drinking. They're like hoppy, and I'm like, well it's it's a cask barrel, and they like okay, no, no, no. We have to talk about the the performance of Sudi when she was working at Beercraft. I went in there once and she was truly wearing like at least two layers of flannels and a baseball she was someone else like that. It's so funny to see her, like I think she has like
a refined tation. I saw her when she was like covered in flannel on flannel on flannel, like mopping up. And I used to wear your shirts. I used to wear your flannel shirts energy though, thank you for saying. Um. The reason why I was wearing this was like right after I got like fired from being a not fired. Camal Bello was a p a there at his show and it was canceled, and so um, I was so
so poored. I got a job at beer Craft, and I would drink the only way that we could function because you had to like mop down all the beer at the end of the night. And the only way that we could function is if we were like pretty drunk at that point to like hot mop like sticky beer off of every surface in this place. And so also you were encouraged like the barrel the barrels like changed every day casks. I forget what the words the cats,
there's a whole different thing. So you would have to show up and like drink the new beers so you could tell people about that, and everybody was just like functionally buzzed the entire time, and I gained about thirty pounds, so I was only wearing like jeans and a flannel
for good like seven or eight months. We were like beer friends because at that time I was I was waiting tables at Ulysses in the Financial District, which was like an Irish pub slash like really big beer bar, and there was like different beers on tap at any different time, and it was just like or not that much, but there was a ton and I remember my favorite day would be like I think it was Tuesdays or Thursdays, the like reps from the company would come in and
that we would try everything we were getting and it was just like I also used to drink at that job so much. If you were in the service industry, you're drinking where you're high. I mean, that's like there was a there was a time there was like I think it's six to eight month period where I was
so high at work. Every day you guys would talk about I would I would come and smoke with you guys in that period and you guys would talk about going to work Stone And this was right after we went to um Chapel Hill North Carolina to go perform comedy with our sketch group. And then Study drove us back in her van and we were talking about and Tessa Scara smoked us out and it was the craziest we'd have ever smoked. And Study was driving and she was talking about the like the band, yes and stuff.
You weren't driving, you know, you were sober and driving, we must say, But I was. I went on a greyhound, you guys hot box that van. Yes, Oh, I'm sorry. You did get so weird because you know what, I was so stoned and I kept saying, I'm experiencing reality in three differently. You did keep saying that, and then you kept that somebody should get that high and then go on a greyhound from Wilmington's Della experiencing three different realities. Is so we get back in on the screen smoking,
We get back on this. We get back in on this greyhound. The driver was insane by the time we pull into the port authority. One of the passengers had called him out and said, you're driving sucked, and then he slammed the brake and was like, who said that? And it was I was too stoned for it. I go to sleep. I wake up the next day still stoned, going to work and was freaked. And then literally weeks later, you guys were like, yeah, I go and I go
in the work stone all the time. I was like, how the first couple of times was not great, but then you do get used to especially because you're waiting tables. It's you're not using your brains, which Study told me a million times. I'll never forget the microaggression that was I I used to wait tables for a decade and then Study was like, I don't know, I just feel like I'm not using my brain and not putting my roots down in a career. And I was just like,
it's like, I'm not. I can't help it. Okay, I'm always thinking in that way. Okay. It was so aggressive towards me. Let's quickly quickly try to, like, uh, set an intention for our summers of count this year. It's it's not a lossome tradition for I'll start. I want I was talking to Study about this. I want um. I don't want this to be a summer of productivity. I want this to be a summer of coming into my own and knowing what I want out of relationships.
I was talking to studio. I was like, I can't believe. I can't believe I'm still like dealing with the same dating bullshit, which I know, like does not change with your circumstances necessarily, but I'm like, I have to change the circumstances of my mindset and the dating sort of lay of the land and all that. Well, because you were like, well, I was saying to you that you need to break your pattern, and I'm also talking to myself in that same way, which is I need to
break my pattern. I need to break my pat What are the patterns? My pattern is uh kind of second guessing. As soon as it starts to the germ starts to grow, even a little bit of of intimacy, you jump to this person doesn't like me, and also jump to it's like just a sex thing, right those That's that's the that's the binary. It's either one or the other. There's no room for this could be this could be something.
But I also said that Bowen is okay for me, that Bowen is not really going for people that are on his wave length, and that he could form those feelings for and I feel like it's it's it's whoever happens to be, you know, your current romantic you know, dalliance. You know, either it's a fun hook up or like whatever. Part of the fulfilling, self fulfilling prophecy is that, well,
this person is not on my same wavelength. They don't fulfill me, like intellectually, I can't really see myself, like, you know, falling in love with this person and like finding a partner in them. And so then of course it falls into the binary yes, yes, and I and I think, you know, with myself, I like fall into the pattern of like I say that I want this partner, I say that I want this developed, whole person. And
I date comedians. Know, I date the same guy that I've been danged since I was nineteen years old, And it's the same issues every time you do tend to date a very similar person. But it's different variations on that same person. So there's there's the Texas man and the checks Hello, I was gonna says, you must discuss the checks um. There's different variations on a theme, yeah for sure. And it's what's comfortable when I meet a funny man who like I can do bits with and
I think it's cute. It just it just happened and and and it's easy and and you know, I love that guy. But I can't keep complaining about not being with like um, a fully developed person, which is my main thing, and then keep dating comedians male comedians like it's it's well, you know what though, Like I think that I think that what we're experiencing at this age, which is like, you know, becoming thirty, I think that what we're dirty cusp, dirty cusp for me, third fold
blown thirty K three anti colon thirty cusp. That's the title. I don't know about that. UM. I didn't sign off on that. I'm not seeing discussion of UM. I think that what we're realizing is that at this age, those people that you've tend to go for, they can't fake being Okay, I'm cool anymore, you know what I mean? Like at thirty, it's like people are starting to really feel like, why haven't I figured it out? Or if I have figured it out, did I figure it out
in the right way? And everyone is very much facing their own stuff right now at this age and going forward, you know, it's not once you move through your twenties, it's like you can't blame it on your twenties anymore, you know what I mean. It's like so I think that's why it's frustrating to deal with the type of person that is um uh not has not figured it out. I think this is a time when they are confronting
that hard. Yeah. And I also find over and over again that, like I have figured a lot more out than maybe other people my age have. And that's like, it doesn't matter too if I'm like with somebody who maybe isn't like as financially stable as I am, or isn't as like far along in their career as I am. Like, I acknowledge that, like I got to those places very early in my life, and I am very much willing to be with somebody who is not at that place in their life you know yet or ever whatever, you
know what I mean. I I feel like I'm that's not a big deal for me, it's a big deal for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's totally a You're a fixed point and they are trying to find themselves around lative their circumstances relative to yours. It's hard to date men when you're a woman who is successful Dixie Chicks. Dixie Chicks, tight on my bon. You don't want to be doing any man's taxes, Matt, what's
your summer of kunkle? Okay, So I would say that it's almost weird to even have a summer of kun goal because I feel that everyone summer of count ambition should just be to survive. But I would say, um uh, my summer of kunt goal is staying positive, and my summer of cunt goal is to be more honest with myself and um uh, to stop letting myself off the
hook so many times. Like sometimes I will like let myself slip in terms of um like I think I could probably like be indulging a little bit less, Like I'm like sort of eating my diets not great again in quarantine and like I do smoke a ton of weed and like sit around and watch a lot of television just like and I feel like a lot something a lot of people doing is like it's quarantine, It's okay, and like reaching across the table and grabbing your hand to me, and like it's okay. All you have to
do is survive right now. All you have to do is make it to the next day. This is unprecedented what we're going through. You know, like no one has a rule book on how to do this right. It's quarantine. It's so different. And I'm just like, you gotta stop saying that at a certain point because this could be for a while. You know what, I think we're all just saying, like, well, the vaccine is coming. Who the fuck is the doctor here who knows that the vaccine
is girl? And now how you're gonna get it? And you're gonna take the first vaccine? Girl? Okay, girl, Astra Zeneca has a two billion dose commitment to the Oxford vaccine. It's gonna come eventually. Just because you say that does not make it true. I'm the authority of you actually
are deeply not. All I'm saying is that, like we can't use this complacent time to be complacent, if that makes sense, Like like, yes, a huge focus of our lives should be just like trying to find like our little moments of positivity that keep us going day to day. But also like I want to make sure that I'm still taking care of myself, you know what I mean. I I don't want to It doesn't need to be your default, which is like full hedonistic debauchery, you know
what I mean. We don't always have to go there, you know what I mean. And I feel like people who ordinarily would deal with stress by like going out and dancing are going on and having sex, are going out and like you know, drinking or like going on and doing this. Like you're facing all those things and you're supposed to be in your house. And so for me, like, um, I'm the kind of person that doesn't have great impulse control when it comes to like eating stuff or um,
you know, like indulging or whatever. And so for me, I just want to exercise a little bit more self control. And just because someone else is like um, doing one thing doesn't mean I have to do it. And I just want to stay more positive. And I think the way I can do that is to sort of be a little bit real with myself about the fact that, like, you know, just because I'm in this apartment all the time doesn't mean that, like, um, my life has to feel sloppy or I just I don't have to feel
sluggish or you know, like I I do. I did start like working out, um, you know, Ariel again on the Zoom with him and like he like I work out with him. In the first day we did that, because I hadn't worked out in so long, I felt awful. I had to stop like three quarters of the way through and like almost threw up because it's been so long. And also there's and I really wasn't but I just kind of like a wake up call of like, really the way I've treated myself over the past four months.
And for me, it's like I had made so many positive changes in that area that I don't want to fall back to like me and my mid till late twenties, where it was sort of like I can do whatever the funk I want, like my metabolism is good, Like that's not really the case anymore. Like I'm thirty years old. Like again, I am thirty years old, not thirty costs, like he keeps kind of like taking the narrative the
cusp of your thirties. We just don't want old, asked a race that you can do and feel however over the age that you want. But me, I'm not gonna again. This is this is the accountability of self, Like I am thirty years or I'm saying that the three of us are bound to a common identity of thirty cuss. Okay, well you keep dressing. You know how I feel about the thirty year old narrative. And I'm not saying that
means old. I'm just saying it means that, like I can't get away with the stuff that I used to get away with, And that's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. I'm trying to be accountable. Um, you know what I mean. I just I just don't want to feel like shitty and then then the what I feel shitty when I eat table bell at one in the morning. Yeah, because it's not good for you, hunt right, And I know that, but but like that's where my
impulse control falters. And like I don't feel good when I'm up till three in the morning and then wake up at noon. That's why, like I'm so excited to be working again, and like I'm really excited to be like doing things again, and like it's great to remember that that will return because I like to go to bed at ten thirty or eleven PM and then wake
up at seven thirty eight o'clock in the morning. Like I like that, Like I've really discovered that about myself and moving to Los Angeles, Like I like a routine, I love to work. I loved having a social life. And to be honest with you, like, before this was all happening, I had never been happier. I had been never been so professionally successful, you know, like things were going great in my personal life. You also love being busy.
I love being busy, and I had a whole I wake up in the morning and be so excited about the day, and there was so much going on, and like so much stuff that's still going on in the future, you know, whether it's delayed or finding a way to happen. And I just you know, And it's so funny because while all this good stuff was happening, Like you got me that little tower of terror bell and I ding it. It looks like a little like what would you call it,
like a bell hop bell? And I started digging it every morning for luck, and I was like, I gotta dig it for luck. And then one day I ding the bell and I was walking out the door and I was like, well, I mean, all this good stuff is happening now, but it's gonna end, Like there's no
way I can continue to be this happy. And then I had my thirtieth birthday, and then three or four days later, it was like quarantine went or the coronavirus went from something that was like not our problem to like very much our problem, and they were saying in
a couple of weeks, they'll be fine. And then when it was clear that was not the case, like I did, like there was like a period there where like every six seven days I would have like a very very dark day, and I was like, I can't believe I worked so long and so hard to be able to finally be self sufficient and happy and have a nice apartment and like, you know, do all these things. And I finally, after a decade of like really struggling, was here and now like you were, Yeah, I mean, like
and you know, lots of things. It's a huge setback for everyone, and like you know, so many people. It's just stopped momentum for everyone. And I and I am totally aware of the fact that, like you know, for so many people, that stop so much more than just momentum or or joy. So but in the way that I'm dealing with it, I just don't want that to um continue to dominate my life. Yeah, just like just or just like the like I can't stand it when people are like acting like this is going to be forever,
like it's just even if it's a joke. I I hate it, and I think less of people who talk to me like that, okay, and people who are negative towards me around the coronavirus like it's something that I can't get over, Like I I if you talk to me and like spew like sort of terror speak about the coronavirus and quarantine, like I'm done. I'm out, like like your threatened my happiness and I can't talk to you.
So as long as it doesn't hold you back from confronting reality is about no, I can confront reality, like I'm aware people want to live there, and you know, some people can't help it. And that's just like how they process it like this and like you know, they need to keep up on the well those people can get but but those people can get the funk away from me, is what I'm saying, Like I don't want
to talk to you. I don't want you in my life if you're going to be some sort of like someone who's obsessed with fatality, I'm out, Like I don't like you. I don't like negative enage. You just don't want to talk to like a black pillar who's like, Okay, this is like every we're fucked forever. Yeah, I don't want anyone that's I don't need anyone in my life. That's like thinking we're going to be living in COVID
soup for the rest of our life. Even if that's true, I just don't care to engage in it because of what I know it does to me, and so keep it away from me because that's just the way I feel.
And so what I feel like I'm focused on for summer of kun is just making the world a beautiful place that I can still positive for myself, which is hard yea um, but it's hard to have goals in terms of like, you know, interpersonal relationships or my own body or this or that the other thing without without relating to the coronavirus, which is what we're all going through, because for me, it's like that is the dominating thing that is the equalizer of everyone right now, and for me,
it's just like trying to find a way to live with this understanding that it might be however long. Yes, you you don't want to plot your your your personal growth without considering the monoculture that is, well, how could you how could you how could you live like that? Like, how could you actually live thinking well, this is what
life is now until the day I die? Like I don't get I mean, some people, in the same way that you function that would rather stay in a bubble of positivity because you're very sensitive to those kinds of thoughts. Some people get comfort in the reality and knowing what's going on. Some people need to know the facts, live in the facts and think worst case scenario so that they can they can prepare for that, and that is
how some people function and cope. I mean, I think the bottom line is that people we all know how horrible to situation is. People are dying and the government is failing us, and you know how you live with that every day. As long as you know that and you're like responsible for that, responsible reacting to that, then
I don't know what I'm sucking saying. I'm just like you're trying to present like a logical reason for why someone would be obsessed with the situation that we're because because they want because they want to understand what's happening, and they want to feel like my whole family, it's like it's another case here, another case. They're like, I mean,
that's the text. Threat is like anything you bring up, it's like, well, yeah, I mean, and we're never going to get this, and those people are dying and like, of course they won't wear a mask and everything. I mean, my entire like extended family lives in that every day. But they're also you know, that's just how they function. They are news uh sponges, and they need to monitor the situation. And let me make clear that I am not someone who doesn't watch the news. I very much
know what's going on, and I is the news. I keep up every day with what's going on, and I am doing everything in my power, like to stop the spread in my own life. And but what I'm saying is when people are comfortable with negativity and fatality, which is different than reality. Reality is, we are in a horrible pandemic and every single day there's more cases in in the United States because our government is famil that's reality.
I'm comfortable with knowing reality. What I'm uncomfortable with is people submitting to the idea that this is forever and like that's what's going to be top of mind forever. I just don't understand how could you what are you looking forward? You need to see a light at the
end of the tunnel very much. And I don't think that it's I don't think that that's accurate to say that this is the new normal and everything, I mean, huge cataclysmic events happen, you know, in the world, and then you adjust to a new reality and some things are different and some things are the same, and that that will probably be what happens here. I just get frustrated when when there's sort of a resignation to death, Like I just like that because I need to. I like,
I like living. If that sounds m basic or whatever. Um, Sudi, let's let's go to your Sudi, what's your summer count? Um? Well, you know, I was thinking about this today in the shower, and I was thinking that, like a big reason why Bowen and I were like let's go to l A was that we were you know, you know, um, everything is well, you know, everything's a risk, so you you'd be as safe as you can and still things could happen. You gotta mitigate the risk. Gonna be like I don't
know this is women. You know what weird decided was um but uh, you know it's because like Bone and I were like in our apartments in New York and we're both single, and like a big thing for me was that like I kept having these dark, repetitive thoughts, like just living in like a dark thoughts cycle. And I would like work, and I had like the Shrill Zoom Room and like a running joke that I would say, like if I like talk a little bit too much or told a boring story like in the Shrill Zoom Room,
I would like say afterwards. I was like, you guys are the only and first people I talked to all day, and so if I seem crazy right now, like that's why. And one of my like recurring dark thoughts was and it sounds like so nasty, like in the world of COVID to like think of this, but also like this is what summer of cons about it, and it's like often about our romantic lives. I think also because like career wise or like life wise, we feel good and so like we tend to focus on our romantic lives.
But I was like this was this summer or whatever. I was like I was gonna get find a fucking boyfriend, and I was gonna, you know, like I was gonna
be over and I was gonna get fucking snatched. And then this was gonna be my like slutty summer, which you know this is a pattern for me, is like I have slutty summers, which is like a god bless and I was like, this is gonna be it, and I'm gonna like fun and I'm gonna find a husband but also like fun and um, like I just kind of was in this thought spiral of I'm alone in
my apartment. I don't have a partner. I'm going through this alone, and I'm going to be alone because there's this window that I have before I have to go back to work and work like a thousand hours a week and um be so burnt out that I can't even like see let alone like touch a dick, and um, you know, they really don't talk about and they need a chapter in the SNL book about like how to fix your sex life. I mean, come on, how to
touch a dick? First of all, um, please let me know. Um. But then you know, it's funny because like just the other day I was in our Airbnb and you know, it's COVID and I'm talking to this guy and we sort of had them go on. There was there was a phone sex situation and you know, I love I love it, I love it and after word, okay, so I'll say it went there. It absolutely went there. Did
finish there? Oh yeah. And and the next morning, you know, he texts me and I was very much like I'm defining this experience for him in terms of like me, and I was like, look, it's quarantine. I had never done something like that before. It was fun. It was a moment in time. I got my damn night, which I didn't say, but like I was like, you know, I hope it was mutually pleasurable blah blah blah, and like that's great. And I was like I'm sucking empowered
with my pleasure. It's quarantine. And I'm like, you know, doing this And then you know he's in New York and like with the time difference or whatever. The next day he like text me at like two pm and like I'm busy and horned up and he's like I'm thinking about blah blah blah, Like come say hi, and I'm like this this this can't this can't be I just it just um. It was clear to me that like the experience for me was different than the experience
for him, and like that's okay. But I just kind of realized because in the end, it wasn't that satisfying of I have no regrets, but it really wasn't that um satisfying of an experience. And I think that I was like, what if I just stop seeking this? What if I just stop? And I should have come to this so much earlier in quarantine, But I was like, why am I obsessed over finding like some dude to like fuck and look at when I wake up in
the morning. Who the fuck cares? He's probably gonna suck anyway, So like, why don't I just be absolutely one hundred percent okay and happy and exta attic that I'm single, be happy with myself, like celebrate myself. And then when a great other soul comes to me and I see that soul and I say, I want to share my like joy with you, and I want to share your joys and your sorrows. When I meet that special thing,
then I will be like, let's do this. But if I don't see that thing if I don't see that special soul, then I need to be like celebrating my ass and not worry about nothing's missing in my life. That's what I need to get rid of. Nothing's missing in my life. Yes, but it is understandable to me to want to seek out some quick little dopamine headward different different, but then you're nut is different. But you build, you build your channels for people who can help you
get your nut. And so you and so you communed or you whatever, you connected with this guy and then you got your nuts. And then the next day he was like, hey, it's two pm on the Pacific coast. Why don't we blah blah blah, And you're like, wait, no, Like it's just it's first of all, you're allowed to say no, of course, and also to be honest with you. Like I kind of think it's nice to have those relationships where it's like, oh, that's the guy I get my nut with online, you know what I mean? Like
I think it's fun. No, nothing feel absolutely fun. It's fun, and it's it's just like it's also it's its own real little relationship and it's like I don't think of that as a thing that's like, I don't want to do this anymore unless it's making you feel bad. It's great that he exists there and he wants to get
his nut with you. I guess I just felt that I wish and I'm not going into d D into d D D details, but I wish that the attitude on his part had been let's get our nut together and let us be like a happy fun But it was not that way from him, and that was what was he to me, which is why I'm kind of like I gotta be good with myself and also like yes, and also like I don't regret the experience and don't
put any extra stress on yourself. That that's part of kind of what I'm saying is it's like, you know, let things be easy in that department because it's so hard of everywhere else. And also like I think like ultimately, if you have the attitude that it feels like some of these guys might have, it might lead you down a road of like funk, I'm single, Like wasn't this wasn't what I needed it to be, This wasn't what it really is and there and I might never have that, etcetera.
Just like don't live place. Wish that I just wish that men understood where I come from with a lot of hookups, which is like I think that there's this binarya of like where either just fucking or we're dating, and there can be an in between where you are.
This is my ideal, which tender pleasure giving, caring. You know, the most natural thing in the world is to have sex, you know, to explore, to be vulnerable in front of each other and have it be this um good experience for both people that is like two bodies, you know
what I mean, And it's very natural. But once you get into that like um vulnerability with somebody, I think that a lot of times they're scared that it's going to turn into like a committed relationship thing, which is like, first of all, why are you so scared of that? Like that's also a natural human pattern to find love
and to connect, you know. But also the other thing is like, once you are that free sexual woman in front of them, that's all they think of you as they think of you as just like this woman who is down to do those things where it's like it's not that you get to benefit for the fact that I'm sexually liberated. But that doesn't mean that I am the person that you think that I am. Wow, this
is the thing. The market is constantly fluctuating around the value that we place on intimacy, sex, single hood, whatever, and so there's no fixed anything in our journeys around relationships or not wanting a relationship. Um to put this in economic terms, it's like the value changes in all of those areas. Also, intimacy and sex are two so different things. Everybody, there's the understand that they're different things, that they're two so different things. They're two so different things.
There are such different things, and I think that like, ultimately, like if if if the way that you have sex is like intimate always like and you need that, then that's great. But I think that some people could like it's lower the stakes a little bit by realizing that not everything has to mean like so much. Well one,
but yeah, I agree with you. But also it's like I also think deep deeply what it really is is it's like we all wish for that moment when sex feels like more, and every single time we have sex and it doesn't feel like more, we have questions with ourselves about why that was was it my fault? Was it his fault? Could get better? And I feel good about this, So I feel bad. I judge myself about it. And that's something that's been like a whole journey I
think for everyone. Is it's just like especially living in a culture where sex is like vilified, you know what I mean, especially being it is made to look like a bad, illicit thing. And well I think also like in as a woman, as a woman, it's worth having sex with straight man. The what what I take from what you're saying that is like the intention versus the
aftermath is often too things. It's like the thing where like you're watching porn and you're like typing in your search words, and then afterwards, once you're not, you're like, I don't even know what the like who is that?
I don't know who that is? But it exists with just you and you, and so you don't have like a narrative back and forth about it, whereas when you have sex with another person, you have to leave that situation knowing that you shared it with someone else and they have an emotional conversation that they're having with themselves about which is worse because when you're just left with your own thoughts and search words. There's no exhaust fun.
So you're just like, well, this is my ship. I think it's always going to be worth worse when you have questions about what someone else felt about it. I kind of feel like the pattern that I get stuck in is that I feel sexually free. I also like am horny and a sexual person, and so when I'm attracted to somebody who are on a date, that's something that I'm looking for, is like that fun hook up at the end of the night, whatever like degree of
hook up that is. And I don't like to do the mental game of commodifying access to my body in terms of a relationship. I don't like to hold back to get something down the line. I don't like to engage in that. And I think that men are very excited when I am sexually down and excited and want to fuck, but then they get into this narrative of the commodifying of my sexual access, and then once we fuck,
it's like you are fuck. You are no longer like And you know, maybe people would say, like you have to let the emotions grow before the physicality grows, And I think that there is um you know an argument to that, and and and and you know sex is better when you have a deeper connection. But I'm not always in that place. And that's why I have sex with a lot of people once because I see the look in their eyes when it's done, and I'm like,
this is of me? You feel like they come out, do you feel like a notch on their bed post? This has changed your view of me? And your view of me is not accurate. And I think you a favor and like you're not even paying me like the respect that I deserve for Like why can't this just be a mutual nice thing to do to somebody to make somebody else come that it should be mutual aid? And that's a rule of culture number nine, sexually mutual aid community. It's just so different in the community that
Bone and I are in. It's so different because it is it's like transactional is not the right word. It's just so like, um, the the the the term to arrive, the terms to arrive at the finished chroducts, let's say, are like constantly fucked up in weird. I don't know,
I think it can be. There's no set terms of agreement to arriving in sex, yeah, I think, which also applies to heterosexual I think that for for a woman entering sex, though, just just me guessing, it must feel like, you know, as I'm entering a sexual situation with this man, this heterosexual man, like there is a lot more going on interior because I, as a woman, like have something to sort of like lose here because this guy is just that's the narrative. That's the narrative that I reject.
That is the narrative. And don't get me wrong, the narrative seeps in and I can go there, you know what I mean. But as a fucking liberated woman who has done the work and educated myself with my own oppression, I reject that narrative. But I'm confronted with that narrative with the other person constantly, whether it's conscious or subconscious, and you know, maybe sometimes it's in my head. I also feel like I try, you know, sex is complicated
for men too. I think that there's a lot of like nervousness and performance anxiety, and like, you know, I think that there's a whole bag of worms. There's there's so there's so much on either side, you know what I mean, I guess my ideal sexual situation and you know, if you know somebody, if you're listening right now and you know somebody who's down for this, its reach out and if they have a good job and they're well educated and read, that's that's really kind of a requirement.
And I want to say that with the caveat um uh because you know we're we're we're trying to find our partner as well. But there's risk involved. And if you know, they don't have to have the peat, they just have to enjoy their work, you know what I mean, and like be passionate about it and be good um um. But like I guess what I'm looking for is like if I can't find that um soul that I want to connect it and be vulnerable with and like fall in love with, I wish that I could find liberated
individuals who um were interested in mutual pleasure and kindness. Yeah, that's that. That's what it is. This is This is summer of count for all of us, isn't it. I think it's just like men just have to not be
like weird stupid fuck boys and which applies. But but if you're gonna be then make sure the other person is a weird, stupid fun boy too, Yes, because because like for me, it's like I think there's like I feel like it's like there's like people that are your friends, and then there's people that are your friends where their sexual chemistry, and then the gay community. I feel like it's like we've sort of figured out because like the the situation that we're in is like so not sexually
standard because we're outside of like a heterosexual paradigm. It's like if you have sexual chemistry with a friend of yours and it's mutual, like sex is part of the way you just hang out with that end, And so I almost wish that, yeah, but I almost wish that was more of an accepted I wish people would just treat sex with the respect that it deserves, yes, but also as a thing that's like natural and could be fun and doesn't have to be this thing after where
it's like someone one or someone like feels like they got something out of it and like took something from someone else, you know what I mean. Like it's it's too it's too um complicated. I think sometimes there's there's there's a there shouldn't be a flag involved. It's not
a capture of the flag mission. Yeah, yeah, And you have to see people's feelings into account, and like you know what I mean, Like it should be a great experience for everyone involved, and it shouldn't just be an experience for an experience as sake because people people a lot of people feel really um invaded because of it. A lot of people feel like like compromised because of it.
Like I don't know, there should be more communication. There should be more communication the best sex, and I think that that is something I need to like really know that I want going forward, and like you have to set the tone. The best sex that I have had recently was like with somebody who I had slept with many times before and had been like a long period of times before we had slept with each other. It was quarantine and we were like okay, like you know,
is this the vibe? And there was sexy communication before rhand, and like I like was like, let's show up for each other and like it's quarantine and it's been a while, and like let's make it worth it if we're gonna like break quarantine, and like let's like really be there for each other, not to not, you're not negative. It is mine is to let's not. Let's not feel like yeah, that's that's it. It's ku three anti colon, let's not
let's not. I feel like it's um important to nut. Yes, I had something else to say, but I realized we have we have gone so long, and we have to get to I don't think so high to get before we do, we should just say gaslight or the album by the Dixie Chicks. Chicks is fucking amazing and we've all been enjoying it, and we haven't really touched so much culture. But that is the culture that we three
are experiencing right now. Yeah, and I would say we haven't touched on much culture, but the three of us together is is a culture. Culture. Shall we we shall? This is I don't think so, honey. This is where we take one minute to rail against something in culture. I have something, mat to, you have something I do. Okay, So traditionally macOS first, and let's keep up with traditions. Since this is a traditional episode, Matt, this is Matt Rogers. I don't think so many as time starts now, I
don't think so, honey. Zac Efron and the conversation around zac Efron because recently I saw a little article that was like, wow, zac Efron's new dad bod. Okay, we have to understand this is not a dad body. This is what happens when you have a lot of help from a lot of substances, maybe illegal, maybe not, and you sort of age this is and you sort of become like what zac Affron is now. You could not
achieve this type of body without outside how seconds. And I feel like there's sort of like this toxic conversation about around, like his looks as if they're natural. His looks are not natural, and so having a conversation with him without saying that is to me dangerous, especially with gay man, which I've seen a lot of gay men actually discuss online, which they should be. Also, I don't think it's on the zac Efron because I can't see him in the musical with this body. He needs to
be slim enough to dance. I want to see zac Efron dance and sing. If not, I don't think and you think that with that body he cannot dance. I just feel like I can't take him seriously if he were to start singing and dancing, and I want zac
Efron saying and dancing. He should be in dancing shape, bulking up in the woods shape, because that's really the only acceptable thing we can accept him as as a screen presence, because we've now seen what happens in the aftermath of whatever he was doing to get his body the way. It wasn't like bad Grandpa, sure, but for YouTube, for you to boxing into a link Troy box, he
should stay in that box. No. No, This is something I really feel about him is it's like that's what he's best, that he's most charming doing that, and it is heteronormative culture. It is toxic masculinity that drove him away from what he's truly gifted from. And then he peeked back in with Greatest Showman and was so charming and lovely in that movie, and it was so fun
to watch him return to that. And now all of a sudden, he's like, what like left being in the Revenant in the woods, Like what the hell is happening in this new show? And then everyone's like talking about his body transformation. I'm like, you want to talk about his body transformation, Let's have a discussion about superhero bodies, about Chris Evans's body and why it is the way
it is, the transformation not working out just naturally. The transformation is going from temper sent body fat to fifteen let's say it's not even that draft he there's not there's not even anyway there's that much of body fat on him. And I just feel like there is a sort of you can really boil down the toxic narrative, which is like, this is what an in shape man
looks like, seeping down to America and the world. I think we can really talk about it with like zac Efron and what he looks like right now, because it's like to me, like I don't want to like guess the way he's feeling, but like I don't know if that he doesn't seem to me like a necessarily super happy person, because I don't know if he's like, if this is him living his truth, then God bless. But like he to me is like someone who got famous
really young. The industry recognized him as someone they could probably turn into an A list star, and they did all sorts of experiments on him to make him what he was, and those have also been social because I don't think he's talking in his natural voice, and I mean his whole celebrity is based around the dichotomy of yes, I sing a dance, but not gay. Not gay. He is literally hashtag yeah, and it's like weird to me.
It's not even be gay because I'm not saying actually be gay, but like it's like but it's like, it's like when guys at uc B would be like, I hate when you call it improv theater. It's like, what you're doing is gay. What you're doing a theater. What you're doing is gay. And so just like fucking own Yeah, there's a rule that you can't wear shorts, you have to wear pants. It's theater, bitch, Like you're up there
people paid to watch you perform on a stage a thrust. Also, every single woman at uc B has a fucking b f a from like Boston Conservatory and like absolutely the most highly trained musical theater actress who decided that she wanted agency and autonomy over what she performed, so she went to comedy and was actually low key the best person on your team, bitch, Becky chokoin sam Ree buck off those funk up to the guys, funk off to
the guys. Okay, thank you many. I just feel like, yeah, that that's I'm standing by that because I just think it's a shame because had he been natural, he would he would be a beautiful man. And I'm not attracted to what he is right now because it's like so much. Anyway, he's not for me. I think I guess he's for straight man only. Now. I don't know anyway, this is Bowen Yanks. I don't think so, honey. And his time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Parking it's the
most inconvenient, stressful part of driving. And why should it be at the end, you know, to end off the journey of driving with the most stressful and that's not how structure, a narrative structure works. It shouldn't. The climax should not be at the end. It's so stressful, and there's no moment to really like, digest and take in
the accomplishment that is parking. If you've parked a car, you are a superhero and you there's no room in that narrative for you to really appreciate yourself and the task that you've accomplished in parking a car in any space, whether it's parallel whether it's in a lot, whether it's demarcated by lines, it is a huge deal. And parking structurally,
it's fifteen. Positioning of parking is flawed, and you know there's a lot of grey areas, and whether or not you pull the emergency break up or um if you're in a stick shift five seconds. You know, So parking, I say, abolished parking. Let's just leave our cars wherever is most convenient. That's one minute. Everyone in l A and and anyone anyone outside of New York listening to this just rolled their fucking eyes. Bowen Yang, the COSP
of thirty finally arrives that parking is not fun. My other I don't think one is going to be the colorism in Indian matchmaking. But that's for another time. I feel like, yeah, that's many for another time. It was important that you landed on I don't think so, honey. Parking the concept as a parking as concept, Yeah, he doesn't. He thinks that the car should just, I don't know, go somewhere else with your drive. There should be you should be able to leave your car wherever you want.
It is it is bad, I'll give you that it's bad. This is Sudi Greens. I don't think so, honey, and her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Organizing your books by color your rainbow ass millennial, ubiquitous aesthetic ass bookshelf. Okay. The first of all, books are for words, not for colors. Second of all, we all know that you're keeping that pink book not because you read it, not because you loved it, but because the pink spine
fitting very well in your literary uh style. Um. If you organize your books by color, you're basically staying to the world. I'm illiterate. Um, I'm only devoted to aesthetics. And like, yes, maybe this is snobby, but guess what books are snobby. They're inherently elitist. And I think that's okay and that we should be cool with that. Um, I don't think so, honey. If you posted about this and um, you're not important and everybody does it and
it's lame and that's one minute. Honestly, organizing books by color that's just so confusing. How would you find anything remembering that a certain book is blue? That's exactly it. It's like, then, these books aren't functional for knowledge. It's purely aesthetic. It's got to be a culture number. Books must be organized by author. No, they must be organized by or at least by general subject. No. No. The rule of culture number ninety four is books are for words,
not colors. Books are not colors. Here's the thing, though, Let's say you have a normal people where the spine is green and blue. What are you gonna do? Then, honey, you gotta figure that break out of some put it on the That's actually an easy one. But let's say there's a two color between G and B on the roy It's counterintuitive. The whole organizations counterintuitctually. If the spine has multiple colors on it, what you're gonna do. You're gonna put it in the middle of where it would
be on the color scale. But this is just to say dominent books are books literally contain multitudes, and so you cannot reduce them down to a single color. I organized my clothing by color. That's fine, because yeah, thank you,
thank you for validating me. Clothes are for color. I mean, as you can see, I do not organize my books by color because I only have two books, Catch and Killed by ronan Pharaoh and Jessica Simpson's autobiography Thank You, called Open Book, Open Book, which I've read neither of them. But it's not that I only own two books. Is that all my books were in New York and I moved and you can't really books don't travel well. And of course all seven Harry Potters were too heavy to bring,
uh to trivially transplant from there to here? And I wouldn't now any way, Yeah, I wouldn't. I would say, I'd rather you have two books than a hundred books and organized? Yeah. And also where would I put them at this place? Where would you put them? You? Get a bookshop? Get a bookshop. It's point, well, this has been our third summer of kunt I think it's probably
one of our most thought provoking. I mean I thought we provoked thoughts for sure, absolutely, And I think that if we've left anyone with anything from this episode, it's that they have to watch Disney fairy Tale Weddings absolutely or shut up and sing Dixie Chicks? Which would you watch last night? And I actually had already seen, so I felt okay to fall asleep during it. He fell asleep. But what did you guys think of shut up and saying last night. I loved it, loved it. I loved
the logistics of touring. That was my favorite part. Honestly, that was my takeaway. It was like the manager artist relationship and the meetings. I liked seeing the production meetings. I liked him that a publicist was a subject of the documents. Sandy, Sandy Burger, and she and her beautiful curls was just pacing around that rolling stone photos shipping link. I the way I can boil her down is just
just in one word, no, no, no, no, that's Sandy. Well, Cindy, Cindy fag fag fucking fagot well, not any closing thoughts before we before we leave, I would say, I have a closing bot. Okay, it's gonna be the most amazing, but Sudi should have the clothing bot. I love you, we love you, thank you for coming back for a third summer of content in a fourth episode. I'm honored. It's gonna be the most amazing.