"I Have Had Three Arrests" (w/ Liza Treyger)

And honestly, if you're a recent listener to the podcast, you maybe you didn't hear Anny Donley's episode. That's the one you go back and start on that because that is a funny, funny into it. That's a funny, funny person. She is. Oh, we're so happy for her. Annie asked Queef had an asked queef baby She queaked the baby out of and it is beautiful, beautiful ass child. My god, that's so fun beautiful ass child. B a C come um, we have this is our first episode that we're recording

back from JFL. Yeah, honestly, we haven't set at this table in a in a in a minute, a couple of fortnits and a couple of fortnits. That's true. Um, and so on our next our guest. This episode pretty much like ruled the fucking school. She she got to take over the Instagram handle. Yes, yes, and you were also, um, you were the host of hosts with the most that one night. Okay, and yeah, and then we ran into

and there was some trouble going down. We ran into Andy Hands in the airport and he just like, yeah, and so he mentioned what happened at that show. We don't have to go into it, we can if we want. But then there was lots of controversy at the JFL. She was like, he was like, man, LEAs is just one of these people. Was just like, she can go up there and just talk so funny, and she's just so goddamn funny. We're like, yeah, that's good. Stand up.

Let's go through the credits really quickly. Wait, hold on, super super quickly. You just wait and then you can respond. You can clap back Chicago. You can see her at the at the link launch August. Please go. Um, she has posted up there for two nights. You must go see her and her Netflix already Half Hour comes out in the fall The Degenerates and god what she has an incredible album and it's the Handle too. I think you would be stupid if you were in Chicago and

to not go see her perform. I mean, it's and she's it's a hometown, it's homed her for her. Yeah, so it's actually real culture number fourteen, I think you are stupid if you don't go see Lisa. Please welcome our guest Lisa Treger. Hey, I'm so happy to be here. Oh my god, Lisa, you were like the beam of light of the whole. I had so much fun. I love going there. It's like summer camp to me. Yes, and I like I did two outfits a day. Oh my god, Bowen brought looks too. I didn't think to

bring looks looks looks. Yeah, I had an next to impress. All right. You had to have an evening and an afternoon in the outfit. Yeah. Hey, So was that stressful or was that fun for you to be? Like? Next is here? I betterr fucking working out? Well? We were long distance. She lives in London, so I was excited to see her. We hadn't seen each other, um since like we broke up over the phone, you know, it's um. So it was nice and I liked the bit of drama and I definitely acted up crazy. There was the

night of the Funnier Die party. I was like in the back crying to Megan, like my agents assistant, like she's not hanging out, like flipping out crying, And then I checked my phone and there was a text from her being like, hey, where are you lost at the party? But I was like minutes. Love. I gotta say, one of my favorite things to do is to literally immediately know you have emotionally overreacted it so intensely that you're like, wow,

I'm a monster inside. Yeah, she's like the moment I saw your face, I could tell you're already furious for her no reason, but it's funeus. Yeah. I think she likes it. Yeah, yeah, I mean she likes people doing mean to her. I'm not that mean to her, but I'm just she likes. I don't think she minds the crazy. You're just being real. You're just being real with her.

And it was fun and it's weird. It's like a festivals are already so fucking overwrought to begin with, like it's it's tough to have an ex thrown in there, no matter what, totally you were turning out the looks for her. But I definitely yelled at another person in an elevator who didn't deserve it, and so there was general crazy. So what was going on? Unpack this? What? Why?

Why the screaming went down? I just didn't like her, and she came into the elevator to smoke weed with us, and I was just like, I think it's crazy that you're coming with us. I like Ramona Singer. No. I had ten minutes later, I was like, was that crazy? And everyone was like that was insane. Look, if you have to ask the question was that Ramona Singer? Was that Ramota Singer? That was no, Ramona wouldn't say that. I don't know. I think Ramona would go there, but

maybe not this last season. But but do you identify as the Bethany I hope not, because Bethany I want long term friendships and she can't do that. So I don't want that. Although you hear that, you hear, and I don't want to have multiple homes and complained about them. I hate that. But you hear that Joe's Erin's coming back because they fired Carol, right, but so, but that's a long term friendship that Bethany just sort of just paused on. It fell apart though for so many years,

like they were only recently even chatting. I think the funeral was it took the death of Joe's Erin's husband to even start talking again. But I do think and she, yeah, she needs a friend. That's exactly what's gonna happen. So they're gonna bring back Jill. I hate that they got rid of Carol. I'm a Carol. I like Carol a lot. She wouldn't accept the book cameo requests I send her. Really, she's too popular to write on your book? What does

that mean? I wanted to send a congrats to Sabrine and Shawna for having a baby, and I wanted Carol to do it, but because my friends got Sonia, they said Sonia was one cheaper, but two responded within the day with a video and Carol didn't respond over a week. How much of those cost Carol's only fifty bucks and then they'll do that for fifty bucks. Well, Carol didn't, but but like in theory, Yeah, god, that's crazy. Durn is all over that. Yeah, Drenda is my favorite. I'm

a Direnda. Okay you are would say it's insane that you're coming with us. I think drunk Diranda would be like, oh yeah, one one sip of whatever it is, and yeah, I want to throw night like over the top themed parties for sure. So mad the second one thing goes wrong. The thing about Torenda is like, I guess, like remember that whole controversy when Sonya had made a mess of the of the room and then left, Yes, yes, yes, I made it nice? No no, not that that wasn't it.

It was Dorinda was so infuriated because Sonya had stayed at the Berkshire's and when she left, the room was like allegedly destroyed. But like, but I don't know if it was like Dorinda blowing out a proportion. Did they not show the room they like? I guess they did. I guess they did. I don't know. My Bravo, my Bravo of fans. You gotta right my wrong here if I'm saying they didn't like show the evidence. But I remember, like it was so crazy because you really believed both.

You believe that someone would end a friendship over like things being a little messy in the room, and you also believe that Sonya would have destroyed the property. Yeah we've seen her house, suck it up. Wait, Um, but I do, like Tinsley is saying the why why, I do relate to that, but I'm not a When she was crying over the frozen eggs, that was one of

the saddest moments on television. If you're a Tinsley, you need to to quote another podcast seament because that's not good on my On our recent we were going to go to fire Ownard. I was going to join them. I didn't end up going, but like Joel called me the Tinsley of the trip, and it was Joel Kim Booster. It was the lowest point in our friend moment in our friendship. I think you are a Luan or no, you're not a Luan. I think you who are your

snobby You're not. Maybe I'm Louie I have HIGs. No, I think I'm Luin because I have highighs and lolos and often demand to be the center of attention. Um, but like in a fun way, in a way that's ultimately endearing in a way that I'm still a star. No, I think snobby overtakes everything like her delusional snobbiness. Okay, I just love how shady this season has been because they keep throwing back um to Louanne giving etiquette advice constantly, and it sucks up her life. The next take, well,

her kids are suing her. Now, I actually did not watch this season, So what's what's the latest? What you really pretended for the cruise? Wait, what happen? What happened to see? What happened with What's happened with the kids? That's happening right now? She's gotten into some deep fucking ship, like like she basically not that this is like deep ship, but she relapsed and it wasn't even it was like

a it. It was like a thing where that was such a mess, and her family was like really really really kind of coming for her, like how dare you? Like it was just such a bad relationship. And then she goes out every night and performs on like the cabaret stage and all the audiences like cheering for her, and she's out there being like, yeah, I left rehab early, and they're like it's terrifying. Yeah, and she's sucking her agent. They're moving up the state. She sold the home and

refused to give money to her kids. It's like while and this is all not being drinking. Yeah, this is not being filmed. But she didn't do the reunion allegedly because she had to go back to rehabs. But that hasn't Oh, it hasn't been It hasn't finished yet, hasn't aired, but it's been shot, has been shot, and so that's why they announced Carol was leaving. That's what they do. They wait till the day after the reunion shoots and

then the announcements go out about who is back. Like that's what happened in Atlanta when it was announced that Sara wasn't coming back after they had shot there. The seating arrangement is going to be it doesn't matter, like in the middle, it's going be Carol, Andy, Bethany. But I was rooting for Bethany always. I felt like I defended her for so many years and it's just like appalling. I can't anymore. She stared back, I do have a

fun thing. So I was flying um first class ones from l A to New York and Gary Shields, her ex fiance, was Kitty corner for me, so I was thrilled. We get um, what's it called? There was weather issues were in Detroit, but for some reason they wouldn't let me in the lounge. But they did in l a in your I don't know. It was the only time I had flown in the flatbeds but like I should have been yeah, but I should have been allowed to

the lounge and they wouldn't let me in. And Gary Shields threw down his Black American Express and was like I got her, so he yeah, you guys fucked him and his old friends didn't want to give me that much attention, but I wouldn't leave them alone and I just kept asking questions. But he was a name dropper. He has a photographic memory, so we kept wanting to play trivia because he knew all the ants. Yeah he

trivia people, I don't think so, honey. Yeah. No. The only game I like is UM, and I hate when we came up with it. Well, I love UM. It's Mark Norman's game and he's the worst. But but it's a fun game where you name an actor and then a numbers would be like Tom Hanks twenty five and then we can see if we can name twenty five Tom Hanks movies. Oh God, should we do one round? That's yeah, okay, by the way they mark Norman Inventors. Okay, let's make it easy. Let's make it easy. Let's do

Julia Roberts. And the number is leave the sand number. No, you do it? Okay the number I was going to say nine? Okay, yeah, I think this is gonna be lunatics. Do a zero or a five ending number? Okay? Ready? And or is it like a race, know we work together that I think it should be. Let's just go into sir w this is gonna be crazy. Okay, I'm just gonna start it off. My best friend's wedding Runaway

Brian pretty Woman. Um oh uh, I believe there was one called um Oceans eleven, Misstic Pizza, Aaron Brock, um oh, Sleeping with the Enemy, August oh Sage County, um u um fuck man, hold on, hold on, hold on hold on Mother's Day, Mother's Day, Okay, collateral damage, the Mexican Oh my word, um oh, I have one in my turn, American Dreams, America's Sweethearts Tea means American sweearts. So the American Sweethearts that was mine. Fuck, um, Oceans twelve? Are

we gonna We're gonna let that slide? No, I don't. I don't have to get to there was there was mirror mirror where she was the Cinderella. That's what I was going to say, Like I was like, that's third two more baby, Yeah, I'm really Oh that movie, that movie, that movie, Um that it was Steven Soderberg and um he directed it with George it was George c was different. Oh my god, No, there's another one full frontal. I believe it's called Okay, well that's Leasa's turn. No, no,

but the full frontal Joe, can you check the front? Mom? Can you just check that full frontal? Is is Julia Roberts movie? Isn't there like a jackal hide one? Or is that mirror mirror? Like? Oh no, that's what that's that's Mary Shelley, No, no, no, no no, Mary Barry, Oh my god, what the Mary Steenberg? No no, no, it's full frontal. Yes, we did it. Wow, beautiful. That was fun. But to go back to also kept lifting his shirt to show his abs um and then the lawyer was like,

you know, oh you do comedy? Do you know Jeff Ross? And like, but that was like you. He was this lawyer who was really proud of to know him. But yeah, it was a fun layover in Detroit. For sure. Do you do roast stuff frequently? I used to and then I lost one battle and I've not recovered. But that I've been it like destroys me when I think about it. But um, I would do it again. Yeah, I think for sure doing I think that that would be something fun to get into. Um, why don't you have you

ever battled each other? We've done competitive shows together and read each other all that we've done, like weirderations like Battle to Die as we did. I want to see what is it sluck? I would like to see slu It's retired, Like it's retired. But here's the thing. People come out of retime. It's actually a rule of culture, number sixties six. People come out of retirement. But I think it's because what we kept doing was it was like physically not feasible for us to keep Like do

you have the dilder? Okay, I've got the lipstick, you've got the eyeliner. Okay, great, and then do you have the shirts? The baseball cap? Great? And I was on trash dooms and Bone was on makeup and often he was on the track too because my garage band is a nightmare. My my laptop won't allow me to do it was just a lot of homework and we were like, I don't think this is worth it. People love, but here's the thing. Okay, so Lisa, like you get to go up on stage and just talk and people are like,

is that is that oversimplifying it? Like, and people like no, but it's definitely jokes. But you guys are definitely the most talented. The fact that all the choreography is so crazy, there's barely any what do you mean with that? I was paying attention on Instagram? Well, yeah, that was a lot of that was fun. That was something we worked out. Honestly, I didn't you know all the words so fast things. I think we bring something fun, very fun to the stage. Wait,

did you love your outdoor show? Oh my god? What Lisa was show? And I wanted to meet with my ex and her agent friend. But it was good of you pop by and literally to stay. Had it been half an hour earlier, we would have just brought you on, would have done it would have been nervous. But I've never seen someone slutty dance to Selene like that. Before the French it was an outdoor show. We didn't we didn't. Yeah, we didn't outdoor I don't think so, Honey, Diva's Edition.

We opened with that's the way it is, and it was just outdoor showpen to the public and people were just confused. Yeah. Well, I don't blame them for being confused. They were a majority, like like family, and we were like saying, that's the way it is. And I literally was dropping it and dragging it. I was I dropped my hole to the ground listeners and dragged my hole on the said ground. I just don't get why they didn't. Isn't that their queen, Like, I don't get why they

were never got excited. We thought they were okay, but then we had this discussion when we were at the pool. We had the Steva's discussion. So, Leasa, you used to be I mean, you love all the divas, but I think you're number one in the past, used to be Miley. You have this whole you love Miley. What's what's give us the scoop now, like who's your favorite, who's your least favorite? What's going on? I mean she's not a diva per se, but I love Lizzo right now is

a Lizzo I like a lot. I saw her and then we watched one Song of Time and we're like, we gotta we gotta go. You're not the first person that said that that, Like she came after Lizzo and it was like, wow, that was a rough transition. Yeah, I love Lizza, would fucking twork, would be one of the twerking girls for Big Freed to back in the day before her career, like Big Free, like she like will constantly be like Big Free to like help me

out like in my career. She like, I love her like she was like shaking her ask for Big frieda and I love backup dancer success story Yes, Jenna Dwan Ye, she was now channing. Also, what's his name? What's his face? That dated j Loo for so long? He's probably still a backup dancer. We know him. Casper Smart. Yes, he didn't have a career, He just fucked his way to the top. Britney's doing that now. It's a personal trainer who I hear is a gig up boy and is

gave her pay. Also, I don't know which is true, but I heard he's you know, okay, where are you getting all this scoop? Um? I thought it was from you guys know who told me about he's kept. No, it's someone I don't trust. Actually, it's I'm happy that we're spreading. I think she's, you know, kind of an airhead. She found a young personal trainer. Let them fucking work out together. Her back looked so good, like she looked good? Did I did? I went on Monday. I went last

right before, Yeah, right before. I've never seen Brittany, so it was like huge. It was kind of like, um what I feel like I've been working my whole life to finally get to do And I went with Jake Wilson, who's and that's his number one. He's got every single tour. She looked incredible. The Dance Moves Around Fire was a

two hour show. She did fix her ponytail a lot, so there was a lot of like of the ponytail and then looking at herself at the monitor like it was the eighth Like we called it the Big Show, like the Talent Show. Bitch. But it got me back to listening to all this Brittany I hadn't listened to in a while. Like, I've been really feeling some stuff, but I wish there was some stuff. I wish she played a little bit of Lucky and sometimes. But there's

no ballads. It's all like the pop party, like, oh you know, can I think all My favorite Brittney song is that I actually have on a playlist called now. Which is it? It is Don't let Me Be the Last? No, don't hold necklety. It's a good. God, it's a good ballad. But I mean god, it's so cycle man. I went cycle by Brittany Soul Cycle. It was largely britt It

was like a Brittany. It was like Brittany Medley and it went from like sometimes first of all, sometimes so good on the bike, on the bike, it's great, and then like it just it just it's everything. It's all her, it's all her big head, ay el padilla, everybody, we're giving him another plug. Yeah, I want to go to Brittany soul cycle. Do you do cycle? No, it's very fun, it's cool. I think you would like it's hard. Yeah.

I have one friend who's really like drank the kool aid and she keeps offering to pay if I go, so I will go with her. It's not like it's not cool, like people like it's like a cult, but I'm like whatever not But I walk in and like, Okay, I understand how this is lame in its ways. I understand how it's cool in its ways. But I like, but as long as you don't fall for like exactly, anything could be a cult, like like watching a certain

TV show. We could call Riverdale fans a people like they just like it, people like like a little works for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um So the reason why we were digging into the Brittany being critical thing, like you should be more critical of Brittany's we had two people go who were like it sucked. Yeah. I saw that story too, did not go lightly. I watched all of it. I wrote to him on Instagram. I I had a great time. We had great seats. We were like when we weren't in the pit. But we're

like a throw orchestra, so that might be different. But she looks happy and cool, Britney Defender. Yeah, she's everything like I just I like her a lot I've always liked her. I like her denim shorts. I like it so much. She's a good mom. I like that she's still eats a cheesecake factory. Yeah, I love that about her. Yeah,

she's always like a trash Leviasiana girl. And yeah, I mean it was weird to see her like sort of start her adult years as a pop star, like, for example, when the album in the Zone came out, like to see her sort of begin this sort of intelligent adult

we were to realize, like her full potential. What do you remember when we were in the van coming back from the Gay Board in Montreal and we talked about how Brittany there was this interview with Diane Sawyer Brittany and there's a there was a song on in the Zone about masturbation. It was called a Touch of My Hands, Yes, And so we remember that song being very much about masturbation, and so Diane Sawyer asked, Brittany, you have a song about masturbation on here. This is a different like can

you explain? And Brittany goes, well, the thing is about masturbation. I think it's kind of sacred. And what she's saying there is like maybe not the smartest thing in the world, but it is like an original, intelligent thing. She has an opinion for the first time ever, and Diane Sawyer was like, you think it's what and she literally you saw Brittany go, oh you know what? Actually I got confused.

I'm sorry I got confused. So like her, this poor thing, like the first time she has a documented opinion about something, and it's about sex, which is like should be even more empowering. Someone is there to be like, what the funk are you talking about? They changed her, like I don't know, like it's it's so well documented the ways that she was like broken down and like it's whatever. They were awful to her, um her a break. But

she to me, why I don't I don't care. Whatever she does is not up to part all the all the time, Like she did something that no one has ever done ever again and ever did like she was the hottest thing that's ever happened in this trime period it and it was just like she heard her peak to me as the hottest person that's ever lived. Yeah, like boys wanted to fuck her, girls wanted to be here. That's a very rare thing. Parents like like the gays, everyone, everyone.

It's true she was at her peak. She was like the ultimate sex symbol and also like Maryland probably and probably still at the same time, still somehow be able to maintain America's sweetheart. Yeah that's crazy, but it's but they did her the worst, like I think they I

don't know if they, I think they. We treat pop stars a little better now, but like making her say that she's a virgin, and just like the majority of them seem to have creative impact now, or at least the really famous ones, Like I'm sure it's still garbage when they're developing artists and then what they make them do,

I'm sure it's sucking insane. But in terms of like the big pop stars now, maybe it's just because the world is matured emotionally and intelligently at least like the liberal world now, it seems like what we react to is at least maybe this is people our age too. But it's like Beyonce's intelligence and the kind of like ways that she's pushing forward, like the way we think about the world. That's like a lot, but like that doesn't seem to be something we valued back in the

late nineties. Okay, so you don't think Beyonce, like at her peak or her current peak now is not like the same thing as like Brittany back then, maybe because I was in junior high. But to me that moment with Brittany is just because Beyonce grew in her career and his Destiny's child for a long time and like she grew to this place. I mean, Beyonce is everything, but like it took her a decade or Brittany was just muscular, tan, fully developed, sixteen year old and talented

and talented. People are always like the thing about Britney, She's not talented. It's like Britney Spears is extremely talented. She maybe doesn't do exactly what everyone else, Like NTV wouldn't have been anything without like her making of the videos, right, she was a true video vanguard. You know who's getting that award this year, Jennifer Lopez. Okay, I like that don't cost the thing. I love, I love I remember

that making of the video. We remember also I remember her picking the horn necklace, Like I just that that was peak. That was I think peque Jlo really and she's she's grown and changed in the Valve Tube and she she like, I had like a low moment in her career, but that like Benefit Jlo remember that that was before I think Benefit. But he was in he was in I Think the Love Don't Cost the Thing video. He was in the run. But yeah, what was that one that was a later song? I think it was.

It was off the same album as UM right, I think, I don't know, I think it was all. I think it was that love album she put out Jlo was the name of No not Love. It wasn't. It was an album called so Much Knowledge. No No, no, no no. I mean we're literally just like searching, you know what we Okay, we did. We did a show recently where it was likely she's hunting renditions and they did a cover of um, I'm real by job role of featuring.

I love that, but of my favorite I totally forgot that Jlo fucking drops the N word and she totally

really says it. I literally turned to bone and I was like I realized it, and I was like, Jail say the N word in this song and he goes no. I was like, no fucking way, And then I google the lyrics and I'm like, oh my God, like well she well, she like it's his hook where she's like, well, she's like like referencing like, oh, he's not like others or something, and like she like throws in the word as a way to be like it's really sold to. Like the delivery of his of it is like really

like soft falsetto. It's that part where it's like, um, now I can breathe again, baby, now I can breathe again. It comes in somewhere there and she drops in and then people just have this like weird amnesia about it. And then so then when I googled this, I was like, did jail say that? Really? Google? Did Jayla say the N word? In jaw rule? And get and I'm real? And then this article came up where it was like Jaylo is having a tough week after after taking some

fire for tweeting an all lives matter tweet. People are now like hopping on her old lyrics like she apparently tweeted some all lives matter bullshit, Like people, I mean, did you remember when her mom won the lottery? And it's like just stop it when the lottery and her sister is like a popular like local news anchor like in the Bronx. I'm not kid, it's so funny. Oh my god, her mom won the lottery. Yeah, that's insane. Jlo, she's Jaylo is one of the legends of all time.

She is, but with with having the least amount of talent too, she can dance. She is at least Brittany level at her peak and dancing she can. Like the acting is I live for the acting? I do. I like enough. I like when you said sleeping with the Enemy. I love those movies of like domestic violence, coming back at him. Remember enough enough she had literally yes, okay, but just scary. But I think they should just show it at school when men are like, why don't you

just leave? Like, I think everyone should just have to watch enough and then inside out. That's great children, we're gonna like literally the only movie I ever watched that they ever showed popular movie was probably like we Saw Roots and We're Saw Glory and they were like and we're adding to the cannon enough and us Mooses Jones like, oh my god, wait, we did watch because it was literally how to Do the Body? So bad? Though so often a bad movie? Was it Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock,

Chris Rock? Yeah, yeah, and then they had a TV show and it was just bad. It was bad. Oh man, I gotta tell you about this meal delivery service that I love. Tell her about it, Oh, tell her everything you free, honey. Well, I think we should all say hello to Hello Fresh because they are seriously I mean this, honest to goodness. This is not on the sheet. They are my favorite meal delivery so well, Hello Frish, Hello Fresh.

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x dot com slash Lost Culture Eastes. Okay, but so fades now, Brittany, but that when you were talking about how pop stars now have more agency, like I feel with Miley, Like when people are like she's naked and young, it's like she's pretty a drogynous and weird and like not wearing makeup and being kind of gross and creepy, and um, I think she's not doing it for like dudes. I think she's just being naked. And that was a

cool old time. I thought, big fan, that was Yeah, that was such I mean, for a second there she was dominating the conversation, just like August August. It was just like nons. She had an amazing quote because like weeks later they're like the performance and she goes, listen, You're still talking about it and I'm onto the next thing.

It was cool. Do you remember like there was like footage of her preparing for her performance, like I think after it came out, like maybe it was on MTV or something, but like it was her meeting with Brittany and like she was like, yeah, this is what I have planned for my performance, and Brittany was literally in her eyes were just like yeah cool, yeah, you gotta

get their attention. She like literally you could see her like remember like, oh yeah, I remember when I used to do crazy fucking shot at the VMA is like I came out with a fucking snake. You gotta get their attention. And there was just this understanding of the industry that was the m which is literally create controversy. Yeah, yeah, it's wild. They understood the assignment. Yeah, like Gaga. Gaga

would do that. Gaga understands the assignment perfectly. Yeah. During the concert, Brittany reminisce she like, you know when I was here at Radio City and talks about like the Kiss with Madonna and Madonna was the first Radio City though, but the Oops I did again where she like fucking goes,

she goes, no, no satisfaction into oops. That was radio that was Radio Oh yeah, I guess I think that The Kiss was Radio City for sure, and I think Slave for You was Radio City maybe because I know I remember when the Backstreet Boys did Larger than Life. I remember that was at the Opera House, I think, or something like that. I remember the Outside Shot. That's when we got cable. They do it at Radio City now, right, I think they switched things around. I think it's in

Brooklyn sometimes and that's where it was. They just did it an l like I think it's just in Arenas now they did the Grammys and Mantain Square Garden. Yeah, but then v as they were. I think they're gonna do in Brooklyn again, but I haven't. It's not the same culture. It doesn't mean the same cultural thing, not since Miley. Truly. Wow. The last time I think there was something that like, I think like cool people our age cared about for a good reason was probably the

Miley thing. And I guess like Beyonce's performance last year when she won the Video Vanguard. Oh that's the one thing about Gaga. I like her so much, but Chris, she makes me cringe so often. And one of the cringing is when she brought up Britney Spears for the Vanguard Award character and as that, yeah, the character, and it's just like and then I think she asked for a kiss and Britney was like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was actually the perfect move for Britney didn't to not play ball and be like no, no, it's so weird. Why are you taking away from I don't know that was I hate when she talks Yeah, Lady Lady Gaga. I I have never been a bigger fan of Lady Gaga than over the past four years because she's not doing like art pop. I think is actually underrated. And I love Joanne, but the bourdest Way are a huge

pop star. Gaga, she was being she was being a year old, yes, and I think now looking back on it, it's not genius as much as it is just like a pop star being immature, and I think it's like sucking around. And the work was amazing, the music was amazing. I think one of This Way, the music on Born this Way is totally amazing. But the antics and those antics did go into art pop that era. I don't miss the one that I feel embarrassed about, but I love that song with r Kelly. It's such a good Well,

then listen to the Christina version. Does she do it with Christina Christina Guile that I didn't even know that they sang the first time they ever did it with Ay sang live together on the Voice like came in and they did a performance of the Voice together, and

it is such drag. It is high drag. They act to they go they go over during the bridge and they sit on a cha's lounge and they turn to each other and they like act the song like it's fucking dynasty and it is high drag, but they well, they like like like Christina rests her head, Ganga rests around on Christina's bosom. I wonder if Christina thought should be a bigger star for longer. I think so too. We talked about this. I mean, her most recent album

is trash. It's bad. I don't I can't even yeah, because you don't even care, right, But she's trying so hard at like relevance and coolness and like edginess. But it's like no, like who would have ever thought she would have been the one that got left behind? You know what I mean? Like back in the day, like when you when you used to see like even Pinks doing better than Pink performing, Brittany performing justin performing, Alicia

Keys performing like all these artists. Now you can see the performing onun on an award show and you'd be like, oh, yeah, I get it. But with Chris Gina, it's like it's because she never had anything to say, like she stripped. It's the best album ever. But I think that's a lot of Linda Perry, you know, I think it's a lot of her. But you know what's fun is we're rewatching making the videos and diaries because these girls are twenty two and so self center. It's really funny even watching,

like talking about the depth of these albums. But no Stripped is so good. I went to the I remember I had a T shirt with the Christine I get the cover of Stripped and my history teacher was like, you know, you shouldn't be wearing that, and I was like why and she goes because the lace looks like pubic hair. Honestly, teacher, because the lace looks like pubic hair. Just like the teacher. She did good Mrs. I forgot her name, but she was Bonker for sure. Were you

guys in high school? I was a theater person. You didn't. I hosted the Talent Show once and I was in Peter Pan and seven The Greatest, like one of the like um parts that died. What were you doing in high school? I did sports? Yeah, he was like he was a classic Zac Carefron high school musical like situation. My identity was completely different. I've changed a lot. It's crazy.

But did you sing ever in the locker rooms? I would sing every now and then, Like when my friends would go to karaoke, I would really sing and they'd be like Wow, you're a good singer. And I was always like, no, no, no, that's just for fun. It's karaoke and then and then, but I think not even like that. Track and cross country and I played baseball for a long time. But my you know, I had like a sports dad. Did you do like theater or

what was your deal? In high school? I did theater, but I was on the swim team and then I quit two weeks before senior meet. I think you're like because I went to Oprah and missed practice to go to Oprah. Absolutely and it was and it was the episode it for Save the not Save the Lesson. It was the Just Dance. So it was Richard gear j Lo and Susan Surrando. Oh my god, yeah, shall we dance? So we got to go to the movies, We got box lunches, and then we got to go to Oprah.

Was my mom and sister and like my sister's husband wrote to Oprah was like we love Susan Surranda. And so we got to go and I got the next day He's like, where were you? And I was like, I told you into Oprah. He's like, I thought you were going to try to make practice. I'm like, yeah, I tried, did you want me to take a private jet anyway? You know what, I'm sick of your attitude and everyone's stick of your attitude, and I went, I'm stick of your attitude. I love it. I love it.

And I didn't get all the attention of senior meat. And it's like, what have I been doing for four years? Just swimming NonStop? Just look at your varsity letter? Um no? And my record got beat pretty quickly after. But I had a j V record. I was fine, like I was for Butterfly. The good good girls are like a minute and I was like in a minute thirteen, So

I wasn't terrible, but I couldn't. Oh my god, I was a lunatic though I had so much right, I mean age, Yeah, I would fight a lot, just not not not just like yeah, there was a lot of screaming matches on the pool, like or if like someone would touch my feet that means I wasn't I was slow, and I'd like get so competive. Yes, do you feel that that competitiveness has carried over into your professional career?

Have you mel? Because I'm really not competitive and most heads up, maybe I get competitive because I tried swimming at the Metropolitic at the Williamsburg Public Pool, and I got into fights with people there. I can't people touching, you know, because if I touch you, or if you could tell him fast moved to the sign and let me do a flip turn. Why are you grabbing? Like, get the funk out of my way? So like I just ended up. I mean to pull someone. Oh my god,

I started like a grown person. Is the pool brings out, honestly that that is a real true fact, which is that once you start doing something that you were an immature part of your like that was an imature part of your life, you go, you go, but you revert back to that behavior. Really, Oh my god. Like whenever I'm with my parents, like sometimes I'll hear my I'll hear the way I talk to them, and I'm like, am I that's what I do? But I didn't really do. Are you mean to your parents? I'm trying to be

better about it. Every time I go home, I'm like, I won't yell at my dad. I won't yell my dad. He's eighty, he's trying doing great. You've got to be kind. And then it's just I just explode on him every time because he doesn't know how to communicate. So everything is like a child, did you read that? Do this? Can you pick up that? Go through that? Are you going to eat this? And it's like I just lose that.

Russian immigrant parents, yes, okay, so are they so? Are they just they're just they're not used to like this Western like these Western ways of like telling saying how you feel? Is that it? Or is that? You know? My mom is trying hard and now I'm uncomfortable, but because my dad's training that now and I'm like, this is okay. I love I love that you're putting in the effort, but like something's off. My dad's not going to synagogue I know. But my parents are there there.

My mom's seventies something, my dad's eighties sixties. So they once you get that close to death, you kind of start being a weirdo. I'm gonna try to get them high this next time I'm home before. No, they're so against things, but they're just dumb and don't get it. But like my dad's in all these in pain, watching Russian TV all day. It's like might as well be stone drinking pine classes of vacca. It's like just smokes.

I smoke in adable. I'm gonna get them some gummy as I think, and then they get on each other's nerves. I just feel if they're stone, they're going to enjoy their lives. Feel the same way. Not that my parents need too much help enjoy their life. I think that they're doing great. But the thing is, like my dad has back problems and they were in my apartment the other day after we taped Falon and like, your parents

came they came to the show. Yeah, yeah, well Bone's parents are all the way out in Denver, Um, but my my parents are Long Island, so they came in and they got to go to the tonight show, which was exciting. Um. But then afterwards they were in my apartment and they like all my weired is like I really don't care anymore. I used to care, but now they know fully, firmly. And I was just like making a joke about smoking, and my mom was like, oh,

your daddy and edible and had a horrible experience. And now I feel like we got to the point where he tried it or like I don't know if he doesn't do it, but like they told me he did and they had a bad experience, and now I feel like it's ruined such this week and then me, wow, I can't even five kills me. Ten makes me a stone bitch? Fifty How are you leasable? You're the kind

of sour No, it fux me up. And then my friend Ricky Valez gave him to me and he said when he was on vacation of the Hamptons, he would eat four of those a day. And I was songs. I was. I went to the Mindy party and I was like, I gotta go there, and then I laid on the velvet there. I got there after So we performed at a car club garage, so that's where I got I got the edible. So basically we performed at this and the piers on Sen yards and it's like all these fancy cars and all the people that have

a car club. Yeah, and so we performed with all these cars behind us. I felt like like Lamborghinis, just old Mustang that's so weird, yeah, so funny. Yeah, and we only got twenty five bucks. And like you will in air pieces, it sounds like gala. Yeah, okay, so great drinks and then he gave me the edible. I went to the party and I don't think I was there even forty minutes. We didn't see you this. Yeah, and then people were going to someone's house is and

I was like, I can't. And then I did order food and that, but I passed out and I was awoken by Oh, that's always my greatest fear, that I'm going to be asleep when my delivery comes. Yeah, it was a lot. I mean, my therapist is so madam smoking weed, but it's like so crazy. I mean, I'm you know, I'm gonna smoke a joint again when I got home. Here you go. You gotta know I can tell. Okay, we we gotta ask you what we ask all of our guests, okay, which is what is the culture growing

up that made you say? Culture is for me? What made you such an angry pool fighter? Was what was like the book, the TV show, the movie, the neighborhood you grew up in, whatever it is that like is the formative thing that makes you so, I think the number one formative things. So when my mom moved to America, well she loves something like like like she loves movie stars and she remembers so her like ol her Russian friends, like you're going to move to America and be amongst

the stars. And then we were like in Skokie, you know, but that's when we saw Richard gear drive by. My mom was like I've waited. Oh oh, alright, right right, alright, I thought, no, but we saw John My sister saw John Q. Sack at the Value City once and that was like funny to me. But no, so my mom just like loved movies. So we went to the movies

every Friday as a family to Peter. But then every day my mom would cook dinner and we would watch Entertainment Tonight and then um, on the commercial breaks, go to Access Hollywood and then we watched all the award shows and then on Tuesday's would go get all the Best dress List. We got all the People's Most Beautiful, like all of that. Let me subscribe to US weekly and then um, so that was just like me. And then my dad would like flip out when Leonardo DiCaprio

would lose an award. He loves Leonardo DiCaprio, so she would yell at us and we and go to bed if Leo lost, and he would just like flip out. So when were he was even Titanic and he lost to Tommy Lee Jones, which I just this pre Titanic he was obsessed with. We've always just like loved Leo as people. My dad's also trashed you because like when Helen Hunt won for Best Actress and said, okay, win's that. My dad was like that flat chest had been like it was like mad someone without tits, one like he

would live it. And they gave it to the flat chest and one. Yeah, the flat chest. The TV stars, not the big breasted movie star plays a rose. I mean a thing. Well she people were very had strong. They were I rad but that's only because you know we were titan You watched the performances back and Helen Hunt is amazing, amazing. I was pissed when Kate Blanchett lost Gwynanth Paltrow. That was my big thing that I was doing. This is a controversial for me. You don't

like Kate Blanchet. No, it's not that I don't like Kate Blanchett. It's just that Cape blanch It like now has two oscars. Because I feel like you get this, here's my thing with the oscars and I've said it on the show, you should win an Oscar if no

one else could have done what you did. And I feel like part of the Gwyneth Paltrow Shakespeare in Love performance is that movie star energy she brought to also being so good in that part, like you believed her in the part, like I really did, like the romance.

I feel like it one best picture because well, cheating aside, and however you wants the aside, like I buy it winning because just the romance that swept you away, and like Gwyneth is unique and I thought iconic in that role, Whereas I think Elizabeth was masterfully performed by Kate Blanchett, but it wasn't necessarily keep Planchet's like signature role that forever. Other actresses could have done that, and other actresses could have also slayed as Elizabeth. Now I like that thing.

Could no one else have done it? That's I think That's why I stand by Jennifer Hudson winning for Dreamgirls, because it's like, yeah, maybe it wasn't the exact performance or like you wanted to win, maybe you weren't the biggest fan, but literally, could anyone else have done it? Isn't Jennifer Hudson a bigger star she is, and she's fine. She's gonna be in the new Cats movie. She's fine about that. I've actually never seen it or care. I

don't know about Cats, neither of we. But we did this run recurring bit in or show where everyone, all of our guests have some emotional connection to it. I'm so happy. No, I don't care at all. Wait, but so we'd go to the movies every Friday, meet my parents. Um, but they are so foreign, so they would take me to really inappropriate movies and once they don't know anything,

but then we didn't talk about it. So we went to see like Erotica or some or exotica, like something crazy, and everyone in the movie theater was so mad at them, and I was humiliated, and I just was so upset, and never we never a discussion about what we had just seen. Ever. Dress one time it was dead Man Walking, and finally the ladies that work they were like, she just can't go to that one. So then I started ripping tickets at the movie theater while my parents went

to movies that were inappropriate for me. So then me and this old guy we're working at the because we want every Friday, and it was like the dollar fifty old Wrung movie theater. So everyone just kind of knew me and it was all these old people. So then I was just sitting ripped tickets until I was old enough to go to the other hairs, and my parents were obviously against buying snacks. I hated when like the

click of the can would happen. You want it? I yeah, once when I went with just my mom, we would get popcorn and stuff, but my dad would not allow us. But then you grow up and then you realize everything's a pr scam and it kind of loses everything, even the snacks, you know. I mean like the Oscars, it's literally PR scam, big popcorns trying to get us. Then yeah, you realize that the Oscars are all bought and it's a it's an industry. It's kind of like the v

m as. It's like this exists to every year there's going to be a moment like you can see, like when they announced the wrong name for the Best Picture at the Oscars, I was like, you gotta be fucking kidding me. I was like, nothing is normal anymore. Yeah, I was happy when that happened. I was like saying, in the room same and adults is the best moment of like, that's the best. Those moments are like authentic adult. It doesn't lose it because you could. You know how

much it hurt her heart. I've never and then she had to just sing to cut to her face and the terror in her face and the humiliation her face. I've never been happier in my life than when he said adulta's hem my, I know that before I died. The moment that will flash before my eyes happened. It was the most happy I've ever been. The way his head bows, he was positive. That was positive, he was positive. I saw her once at Ravinia. Um. Yeah, and it's

this venue where you can't see anyone. You're like blankets with cheeses and stuff, and um it was Megan Gaily Matalane. And the moment she winds out, God, the moment she walked out, MATEO grabbed each other. Something's wrong. She sounded like ship the whole concert. She was barefoot, sounding terrible. She did a yeah, well that's that was the tour

before that. Probably she brought up children to sing for her that were better than her and Mark Hamlets was conducting it and we were just making fun of him. And then he died that oh god, that loser. And then he was dead and literally Barbara Stresen did something. So Barbara a photo of her when she performed at the Oscars in Memory and Memory and she and she's singing in the way we were, and she goes, um ah, if we had the strength to do it all again,

tell me, would we? And she goes, of course we would, of course we would. She just that's pretty. I love that. I love classic. She's classic. Yeah, but yeah, she's so cool. Adina Barbara, Barbara is so cool. She's cool. Adina Menzel just has failed at every opportunity given to her time and time again. Part of I don't see that play with the billboards that are brown about the sponsored us. We liked, we liked it. It It was she's great and she's got good timing. She's like, she's yeah, she was

really good in it. She's fantastic. Yeah she was. She and there was like some really solid man candy in it. Yeah, she's sucking t digs. I'm sure she's cool, but maybe he's just a nerd loo I know, but like I wonder what I just wonder every You're sure she's like cool enough to like fucking or does it mean Digs isn't as cool as he looks? Maybe both. I bet she smoked weed. Oh yeah, I think Adina Menzel is

like everyone smokes sweet. Yeah, I mean that's true, but I mean, like, I guess I bet she gets into it. She was whatever she's on watching. She was on watching Happens Life once and she just seemed super down earth, and I think she's good people. I mean literally, for that to happen to you and you not die on the spot, yeah, you have to get a purple heart. I don't know why. I hat she just sounded so bad at this concert. And then she closed on the

sun will calm out. She closed on that, and Matteo and Megan like, we need to see her, So they ran up to see her, and I didn't want to, and they said they turned next to her them and there was a girl hysterically crying for the sun will

come out. Literally, I think that I saw her and if then and she did sound pretty okay, but literally the top note was just like, you know, if you had to for five hundred, six hundred performances hit that note, defying gravity, every fucking jag there for a second, you know, in London, and it's just the whoever was I saw was better than like I've just seen people be better than. Yeah, you guys need to give give Adina a pet us. There were some goddamn credit were some god fucking killing

ourselves out there on that stage. And if you if you're gonna come in here and you're you're not our critics. We have the press for that, and if you have press credentials then you can say that, but you're you're just an audience member. Meanwhile, what the funk? It's not like I get cheered any better than you. My toilet has been broken for two goddamn somebody fix toilet. Sucking on the phone with them and they said they're on their way, and you know what, it's fucking ridiculous. We do.

We do a share impression. We're working on it. You do a lot of them. We were we were trying to sto't what's this body dysmorphia thing that happened at the Diva. Okay, we may not even be able to release the episode. We might not be, guys, because because the performers. Some of the performers were not gonna name names. Some of the performers at the I don't think somebody Divas show, multiple performers had reservations about what they said

about certain deva because here's what happened. We did. You only were there for the beginning, so and everyone at home if we don't get to release the episode because it's up for debate. There was some because they were in being since what's three round? There were three rounds. The first round was just I don't think so honey on a diva that they pre selected, that they that they vetted to, that we vetted and we were like, yes, you can do that. That's great, so there's no overlap, right.

Second round was I do think so many for a diva that they loved, that they worshiped. That was a really good round. That was that was really fun because it was positive. And then we did I don't think so honey troll ball and I had put like a bunch of iconic divas who like have their staunch fans in the bull and somebody somebody picked Madonna and I think you just went stream of consciousness and like kind of went in on but like it was pretty amazing.

But after he won, he won, but then afterwards he was like, I don't know if I feel comfortable with that being released. And we were like, okay, alright, respect. But I literally said to him, I was like, it's up for debate. Because I said to him, I was like, you don't want me to put it out, it will not be out. But the body is more of your thing. What were you saying? Like? Why don't how did she cause people have body to share? An know? Who do we say that about? It was so bad that was

said about Madonna though I don't know. Matteo is hilarious, like like, no, don't say it because you might one the one line that the one lie I think is perfectly Finey he goes, your hands are from the devil from the Mateo just like came up, pull that out of his ass and it's like a goal. He was the crowd favorite. He was the crowd loved. It was so fun. It was Me Bowen, Joel, Kim Booster, Dave Holmes, Eli Glazer and Matteo. And after every round I would

go and I say, who votes for this person? In the crowdould scream and Mateo won two rounds and you and I won one. I want for my I do think Sony about Gaga, and I came in second for that for I do think so honey, Selena, Yes, Selena Antonia, Antonia. I don't know much about her. I love at the Clock and I feel like it's time to go and I don't want to. Okay, No, it's fine, it's fine. You know it's not time to go at all. Book don't don't put chains on us, all right, I have

a showed a catch, so maybe it might. I don't have anything my spots not till past eleven. We're going up tonight. I'm going up put the Village Underground in the West Village and that'll be fun. And then maybe I'll do a few errands before that, but I doubt it because I just love smoking weed. I'm going to say the show on the shows I'm going to tonight. I'm going to see The Bongo Hour and it is every month. It's Peter Smith and Sandy Honick and I

and Ben Moss and I love this show. I went to go see it last month when the Three Busy Diverse hosted because Peter Peter was that it was doing Peter Pan but they're back and I'm so excited and literally my favorite show is also on Wednesday nights and it's every week and it's Cabinet Cabernet Cabaret, which is done so tonight. You would, it's all. It's all. It's like a small cabaret space all gays. Catherine Cohen and Henry Coperson love you. Oh cool, Yeah you have Henry

reach out. Yeah. I started following Cat on the internet and she's so good. Last night the sleigh was existent existent. Yeah, there's so many fun people with many different talents out and about how does it exciting to tell funny and are singing and dancing too? I want to know your trusting good. Um. I'm a good gift giver, yes, Um. What goes into a good gift for you? It has

to be just like super personal. I don't do time like constraints, So it's like if I don't find the perfect thing for your birthday, you might have to wait a bit. And it's just it is what it is. But it's something that's like you just see it and you know it's for the person. Um or cute things. I don't know, just um, I'm good at presents, like people are usually happy and or you're they're using it.

Like there's a lot of arts, so like, um, you know, I'll get someone, I'll get some artists to a drawing of your dog and a cowboy hat, you know, like great Matteo probably do that really well, yeah, it's done a few, you know. I don't like to bother him too much. Yeah he's busy. He's a busy boy. Yeah, but that's that is a skill. Because I fucking hate like buying gifts. Well maybe it's because I have a shopping addiction. Um, yeah, I love going out and buying stuff.

Is there a general category that you will always like a general like I like the stores that are just made to spend money on gifts. What would you buy us? Um? I might go to my frame guy and well recently he had a cool street sale. Um, I would buy like vintage magazines from him with cool people on the covers are old. Because I just bought an old Vanity Fair with Madonna on the front and back cover and that made me happy. So I was thinking that would

be the thing. Okay, so you have taste though, like like not that Like this was in question, but like you're bringing your tat your own taste, like Shawna. My friends Shawna. I was visiting her in l A and she's like, I want the Bowie Metro cards. Can you get one? And then I found a glitter my frame guided a glitter frame piece with all of them with

the back part was like the back splash. I don't know what it's called, but when the sun hits it reflects into rainbow and it's a glitter frame and it was all the Metro cards and I was like, I gotta get that. Okay. I got her the Metro cards and a frame. Shopping Addiction inc. With Mega I mean for new houses, I usually do crystals and like like cool candles that are you know, house blessing. If anyone ever gives me a candle, it's the best day. And

anthro candles always make people. But they're there, just the giant ones are, but like the normal ones are under fifty bucks, but some of Like God, I was reading do eat Strategists a lot. I don't know what that means. It's a strategists like a New York magazine vertical. It's a site where it's just about e commerce. It's just about things to this person thinks to buy that person.

It's it's amazing. I love reading it. But they did a whole list of celebrities favorite candles, and like some of these people just have I mean they're still they're famous and rich, but like these candles are like three d bucks for like a fucking thimble, and I'm just like, someone gave me an expensive candle base I don't know how much. But when you light it, it smells like a sexy guy like you, like a beautiful cologne. I don't know. I love that. This is what I want

to say. I didn't realize this about you, but I found this out because you were coming through. We were coming through customs together, and then like all the international upborts, I always look like a big duty free section and there's tons of fragrances. You are a fragrance. You wanted to spend time looking at the fragrances, Yes, honey, I never think to do that. Which they're not that much cheaper.

They're not that much cheaper. Like all this all I want right now is all these tom Ford dude things and they're like fucking two ounces, not even two like one point seven and they're two fifty. Is not insane that i't I do eleven eleven? Mmm, I'm still using my like it's like just like a basically Calvin Klein vel up. Honestly. Then then I was like, oh, I like colognes. Let's let's go smell. And there was a couple that I was fabulous about. There was a couple

that I was fabulous about. I like that, Um, the one thing you're fabulous about that I like talking my my ex smells like laundry always at all times. And that's that's basics. I don't think so Okay, I love good. Yeah, I like it. I like when someone's natural a little bit. Yeah. Oh that's the best compliment. When with someone and they tell you that you smell good, yeah, and I'm like, fuck me that you told me I smell good. I want you to be in the maid it works. I

know I need to hook up, but don't worry. It's it's summer of kind. It's still in affection, summer of Oh. By the way, please buy our merch. I designed a lot of it. Spoone has designed a whole ful. It's so exciting. Is it's selling off the shelves. It's doing okay, it's doing well. HPJ confirms it's doing Yeah, yeah, there's HPJ. You still like baseball? Would you go to baseball games? I would actually really like to go to a Yankees game before the season. Yes, I'm a White Sox fan.

But my first summer moving to New York, I did a full birthday Mets at the Mets Stadium and I still get ticket sales call or was it City Field? No, it was just city It was City Field, but it was like cheap tickets that included food. Yeah, and I just want to Fenway for the first time. But we do Father's Day always a Mother's at the base. Have you been wonderful? I've been personex. I'm a White Sox fan, but like I'm not. I don't know anyone's name, So I'll go to I'll go to Wrigley Field. There was

just the food for me. Yeah. I just want to eat and drink and watch and ice game. Really, I just want to like and their butts are fun. But I've been kicking out a lot of games. I used to be wild. Arrested once at a White Sox game and kicked out of two others or being like drunk and young and getting wild. What does your record look like? I have had three arrests, and then I I have had three arrests, that's it, and then I had to take a greyhound back to I would have served two

days in jail. That's wonderful, yeah, queen, queen. But I always am like, so thankful my parents paid for all, like the lawyers and stuff. I'm like, I wonder if my life would be ruined if I didn't. I mean, I'm watching Orange is the New Black This Have you watched this new season? It's a little bit more OZ than I mean, they're good at making it light at my moments, but it starts they're just like getting beat

in maximum security prison with no end in sight. I'm fucking I don't know what, Like, I have a hard time watching it. Remember that it was the first season that they decided to go really bleak with it. Actually, you know what it was. It was after Black Lives Matter, like really came to the forefront and they had they're making a show about largely like POC women in the

prison system, Like you have to show the realities. But that season, I think I had stopped watching the season before and I didn't finish it because it just didn't dramatically compel me. And honestly, like it's hard to get back into because it's so hard to watch read read new Jim Crow honey, and then get back into it. You've got to swallow that. Okay, Yeah, I remember that sad scene happened and I had been watching all day and night and the sun was coming up, and at

like five in the morning that happened, and I just bawling. Yeah, no, that was I can't really season. Our friend Alan actually is the actor that played the direction of Alan. He's cute. He looks like a Savage bro right, like one of the He's like truly the nicest guy. No, but like the brother looks like the Savages, one of the Savage brothers. A little cute little Back in the day, I used to say, I would hop on Fred Savage. He was like most adorable little kid. I thought he was cute.

I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when he got older, when he had the mole in Austin Powers would hop on Who are your number one crushes right now? Right now? It's tough. I'm basic. Um, Yeah, Matt's gonna say, a white guy am Sean Mendez? Really? Okay, that's good. YEA man's who I'm permissible. I don't know have one right now. I don't really have a Seleb crush. Actually, you know who I like pretty much always want to fuck,

but I like rediscovered recently is Sean william Scott. Oh, yeah, who en. I don't know. We can't say it, we can't say it, but I recently he came. He came to mind for good reasons, for good reason, and he's and you know, he was a sex symbol back in the Brittany era, remember for me like number one with Shawn Williams Scott hottest dude really yeah, or something about Stiffler being like the emblem of toxic masculinity. Yeah, but like just the tortured, abused boys in US are like,

we want to stiff we want to stiffler. So bad. Yeah. I watched Bad Bad because I do a lot of material about porn and I've been researching in like the baddest porn that the most women watch it, it's the most viewed by women. So all like the rough, fast gang bangs, and you're like they don't care about women. It's like women are watching the gang Bangs. Whenever I watched straight porn, I am always it's always like rough. I don't know. Guys, come on, you are obsessive being woken,

obsessive with your woke image. Now come forth, it's off it. You watch um really bad anal straight porn? Come forward and say you watch it? I don't, I truly tell what poorn do you watch? Um? Get into it and be very real. Lately, I've been like, I just I'm I'm researching, and I'm fascinated by like group stuff and like three like three or three and three and up. I'm just like, what are the politics at play? There's so much going on. There's like, okay, how are these parents,

how are these permutations happening? Why? How is the person being left out feeling? It's there's so much going on. I've had so fascinating really I've never done it. Was the best thing in my life. Chasing that again and it will never I don't know. It's because then I had I had a threesome and it was bad, bad, bad, Before it was the perfect number. Well, I would have another season, but the foursome was like, I do a

joke about this, but legit. They were in the front row of a comedy show and the guy was so hot that I walked on stage. I'm like, you're fucking hot. Like I don't know, I'm gonna do my set. And then um, after the show he came up to me. I was like, I'll be at this bar. Was at Caroline, so it's like, come meet me at Little Is Oh my god, And so we met and then the four there was like a girl and two guys, and then after we all had a drink there like, listen together.

We're actually all here from out of town. We have a hotel room with coke and Molly, and we would love for you to come. And I was like, all right, have you ever had group sex? Um? God, but the politics are nice because what do you mean, yeah, recently, And my sister is gonna listen these people on this this, these people on grinder are like, hey, we we we have this like monthly like meetup of like all Asian dudes.

And I was like, great, that's yeah. This was It was like the most pathetic thing I've ever been a part of. Continued that might be a whole page this is okay, this is this is all you need to know.

I walk in and everyone's clothed and everyone's just everyone's cloth and they're in their underwear and they're sitting there, and then there's like one It was like a fucking it was like a camp icebreaker where this one guy's like, hey, so alright, so what we're doing is you're new, so um you got to say what your name is, w you're into, and what your name is, how old you are and what you're into. And I was like fuck that. I was like, okay for the cameras at that point,

I yeah a little bit. I was like the fun is that? Is this like a social experiment? And so it was dumb. It was dumb, dumb, dumb, and I like for many moments, like I only stayed there for like minutes and I just like put on my clothes on and nothing happened. Stuff happened. But then I was I was just like little little pole. But I felt like neglected. I was like no one's like, no one's really doing it, like no one's paying attention. And I was like, oh, this is so interesting and I have

to like look into this. I have to look into case studies, and I was just like, Okay, I have to go. I've only had sexual with one other person, and I've been in love every time, and it's sacred and it's sex scre I've had sexual hundreds of people and everything one of them. I've been in love with sex and sex sex scre what you think? I'm sorry, I was confused. Okay, all right, we have to do I don't think so honey, we have to I forgot s Okay, So what show were you saying tonight? I'm

doing this caveat show called unteachable. Okay, Oh yes, I like unteachable. Another plug, great Rogers. I don't think so honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey flakes. Here's the fucking deal. Here's the cute human being thing to do. Guys. If you make explicit plans with someone, show up, because I'm going to show up and guess what, I am a human being who could have done something else with my night. Also, I don't think so, honey flakes.

When you flick a second time on top of a flake, then imagine the audacity of flacking out three. Maybe this is like one of the worst things you can be is a someone who is not reliable. How embarrassed a thing for you? And how I don't think so Honey worthy to be known for the fact that you cannot be reliable. I pray for you. I pray flakes. There's a reason that you're named after something that fucking sucks, which is five flakes, another serial I don't like and

flakes on Dan draft. Bitch, you are that? And that's one minute. That was a very slow burn. You know, I never am slow and controlled and loopy doppy, loopy doppy, fast and loopy doppy, feeling feeling a cucku lu luis Catherine coming? Have you been flaked by this guy for multiple times? Honey? Oh yeah? Romantically? Yeah, Okay, you know this isn't just flakes. But you know what I hate on top of that, and but I don't want to. I don't think so Honey is like, let's stop texting

and come hang out with me. Yeah, why we're new? Like what we come over? There's something wrong with us at large? Come over? Do not say what we want? We don't, we don't, we don't. I've been on dates recently and I'm just being gonna be like, I just kind of want to ask this car to come over, but like I have to get so drunk to get there, and I have to, like I have to like have a full fucking douche, Like my whole needs to be squeaky clean. Why don't you just invite someone over and

then not have sex with them rubbed dicks. I've done that. I've done that, but I just ever known that. I'm like, I want to have sex. I'm what's wonderful? That is? Okay, I gotta we gotta go. Okay, this is don't and as time starts now, I don't think so many people who knock on the bathroom door of a public restroom. Bitch, I'm inside my fucking speaking of my whole being squeaky clean, it is a fucking you gotta dredge that ship out

because I'm having the most erratic ships. One day, it's solid, little little DIBs the other day, and then today it was green and all liquid, and I can't. Lisa's disgusted that You're just sorry, and it's just I have to. It's an emotional roller coaster every time I walk into any toilet, much less a public one where I am my most vulnerable one for you to to break that to to and just encroach on that peaceful time in my life that I'm trying to make sacred for myself.

Taking a ship is sacred. And I'm sorry what I'm sorry, I just I think I got confused. But if you knock on the door, something that's wrong with you, the door is lost. To take a fucking hint. Don't knock on the door. Don't rush me unless you're spending a lot of time in the toilet, in which case thing isn't when I do not when they do not, Sorry, I just don't trust that they're not just sitting on

their phones. And if you're sitting on your phone, I need to pee, fine, fine, But I'm just I'm shooting there and I know that there's people waiting. If it's a Starbucks, then definitely I will try to get out of their ace app But how dumb would you feel as someone online who just saw a closed public restroom door and just stood there waiting and then like someone was like someone in there and you open the door

and there's no one there. Happens because we not You know, you don't have to knock first first, You just turn the doorknof and if that's locked, then you don't have to and then that's the end of the road. And then the person inside here is that you've you've sort of jiggled the knob, and that's that's all they need to know. I think this is all routed in the fact that you're having bad and I think I think

your brain is crazy right now because your ship is wild. Yeah, that's probably my brain is crazy because you know my situation is very similar. Are you ready? Yeah, okay, great, this is the trigger. I don't think so honey, and her time starts now. I don't think so honey. Comics that fight for that, that think PC culture is ruining everything, but then we can't make fun of them. I'm sick of all these people that are like, let us say faggot, but then hate Hannah gats to be special and it's like,

why can't she say what she wants? You're fighting for your right to say awful shit about anyone, and then whenever anyone says anything about white men, you have meltdowns. She was treated awful at the show I hosted. Um someone went up after I was like, I hated that. I'm not I'm just a white guy. Where unique. She got heckled at her gala multiple times. These dudes are They stalked the guy at Netflix being like why would

you give her a special? They're wild and out and then they're fighting for like Chappelle to be able to say tranny, but not for a woman to just talk about her experience. And then they say it's not comedy and it's annoying, and it's like, you're just not funny enough. You're not edgy, you're the you're not playing devil's advocate, you're the status quo. You're saying the things that people have been saying for fifty years. And it's annoying. It's

not PC culture. You're not good enough when you're boring And that's one minute and you're fucking sorry, I said all the bad words. And that's not the point. You. This is the thing. This is why everyone j was sucking all these fucking dipshits were freaking out overhanded gad Speed was because it's a woman that they looked at and they're like, I can't fuck that. Oh, but why is she successful? They don't they don't have a problem with Eliza. I don't have a problem with all these

dudes not being funny? Yeah? Literally, why can't you just move on the point you are not? You're proving if you're saying Hanna nothing Hannah Gatsby has ever said it's funny, that's not funny, hilarious joke. Why are you spending your

time then on this like statement? If your problem is the fact that, in your eyes, she's spending time talking about her reality, what you were doing right now is what you're You're taking space to talk about your quote unquote oppression, which is a fake and be not a joke. So where where is your point? Shut the funk up? You are like anyone who thinks they're the gate keeper of comedy. Do funk yourself? Oh fucking and everyone yesterday retweeting Leslie Jones like yeah, we should be able to

say whatever we want. It's like, why doesn't she have those rights either? Exactly? Why are you spending your time

shutting her down? But you just want to scream at people and say awful things, and then you get mad when people talk about white men and you don't want to be grouped in, but you want to do jokes about I don't know, I mean I'm not gay, but if I was, you want to do that and you still see it so much although these men are just proving Hannah's point in the end, where the whole point is like white men like just like common deer every fucking thing, and then for them to react this way

is even like whatever, even like these other people in the world. Do you guys know him talking about this guy who's defending Southern Mama on social media? Is that a comic way? Now, it's crazy to me. You've got to check this gatekeeper thing. No one owns art. This is an art form, and you want to stand up there and you you stand up there and you get a reaction the way that you can and you're just jealous. Dude, You're just jealous and not like if it's this successful,

that means people reacted to it. So it's like, what, move on, move on? Um wow, we were we're ending on a fiery fucking I love it, Well, come on, this is not you loved. Oh yeah. After the show, after I left Jampa, I was just like annoyed with because someone was like, I think it's just traditionalists and not I'm like, no, these are fucking hateful, big and something like, I can't give them space. You can't. The thing you can't do is hear these people. You cannot

hear these people out of giving them space. You can't be like, well, we need to listen to all perspectives. No, if there's if you tolerate intolerance, intolerance ones. Literally. The last thing I want to say is when you look like that variety show the comics to the comics to watch. It's so crazy to me because he did this thing that was like, um like he obviously was the one of the people whatever. Also, Taylor Thomasone was on that show doing class doing but also doing classic stand up comedy.

You know what I mean. If you want to just go up there and tell jokes, that's how you do it. You just didn't have any jokes. You just didn't. You're not You're not at that level. Like you know, not everyone is sucking alternative or whatever. There's a lot of really amazing stand up comics right now. That was That was a show where all that co existed beautifully and exactly until that last moment, and it was so to such garbage as fucked, sucking, sucked, sucked. Glad you want

last pretty cinematic though truly it was true. It was that no had to follow him. We said, we said this to du Say. We were like, it was a thrill to just watch him and watch anyone bomb like that. Hard at all. I've never seen someone something like that happen anyway, Oh my god, well we have. We had a true legend with us tonight. This is and also literally I looked at her at the pool and I'm like,

why the fund hasn't you know? Well, because so the first time I was booked too, I don't think so, honey, I had to cancel and I thought you guys were mad at and that's why I wasn't at the podcast. I never dozens of people have to do it like people do, like ten twelve people do everything, killing me. This is one of the funniest people in the world. I truly think that if you don't go see her at Lincoln Lodge in late August Chicago, I I really

think you're really stupid. Don't respect you if you don't go see her show. And I'm sorry. That's my truth, and that is I'm the gate keeper and where we are the gatekeepers? Yes, okay, well we love you. Lesa Let's end in a quick a little ditty, Go ahead, who do you think you are lodging in on me? And market talk for the rest of that song. Got the rent soundtrack, Bye Bye Do. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Silio,

and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.