"I Don't Think So, Honey! 9" (Part Two)

is that nult? Yes? Goodness, let's calls. I don't condone this fandom sick treatment all of you. Yes, dude though, all right, so you know what. I guess we're back. I know. Wait, I actually have an um. I actually have to announce something that's actually gonna be interesting to you guys. All he has and how some of it's actually going to be interesting to us? So up the ears. I literally found my phone literally so right my cuts and texted me, do you like Jane Austen? We don't

have that relationship. Can you respond? Can you actually respond? Why? And I want to know what he says? Here's what I did choosed to say back, I said, for some okay, So I said, okay. She answered, but I said back, I said, I said, yeah, what I've read, I think just Emma and Pride and Predge and sense and sense a Bill, I can't believe you've read three of them. Autocract tried to change it to sensibility and I said, no,

it's sensible. And then and I said, why two questions marks because she's sucking psycho And she said, for some reason, I associate you there. I didn't know if I imagined that she did imagine that, Um, you are very much like a Jane Austin protagonist. Absolutely, oh yeah, in a way that I can't say why. Because I like drama, because I like draw. I don't think that Jane Austin protagonists like drama. Do your Emma's and who lives for drama? I don't know. I don't think Elizabeth Bennett was a

messy bitch who lives for drama. Then you should know that I know actually nothing about her, despite writing my ape lit essay on this very book and getting a firm yes, decorum, decorum. Alright. People assume I'm literary because I don't use product and I rely on natural oils for my hair. That reason. People think that means I'm an author. That's what I found, Like one of the main things about me is the amount of product in my hair, and so I wonder what that makes people

think about me. And I'm very scared to know the answer to that. It means you're like on screen, you're hosting, you're for me. It's like I'm in a cottage writing a book and like a warm sweater next to a candle, right, And I'm like, it's very Jonathan Saffron um hot man who dated a movie star Michelle Williams, And I guess that is like very much our dynamic. Wait, because I'm the Michelle Williams of this night. Can I say something? We're in Brooklyn and I took the gig. Can I

can I finally say something? All right, go ahead and say something. Semon said no and that was cool of them. Um, and actually whoever said no, I actually think it's hot um. Um, what do you have to say? Fine? Show Williams did amazing work in Dawson's Creek starts to end to get amazing mark every single day. And I also think we could have never had Michelle Williams if we didn't have Rene's alllwigger. And I think Renee all over the map paved the way. Renee's wigger paved the way for people

with that bone structure. And I will say this, I will say this, we need a Renee's lagger comeback now, yesterday. And I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear any criticism because Bridget Jones's diary is a slay and a half. And and if that person here said no, it says no, we don't. What then is going on here? David Mazzoni trying to steal the spotlight? The fuck? There's only perfectly good back row. That was not Renee. That was not Renee at all. That was

Catherine Zada. That was That was a Catherine Zada move if I've ever seen one? Right? Wait, I love Renee? Do you love Catherine Zaida? I love Kevin. I don't love Catherine's Ada. How I can't go on? And I love like she's like relentlessly Broadway and her singing and she's like, oh she she doesn't even care. She's doing a warrible bitch. You know, when I think about Catherine's ada and my thought is like, yeah, she like got away with it well and I not famously okay, And

I'm actually gonna odd Pat on this. Pat once said to me. Pat doesn't understand singing. He doesn't get the difference between like when Whitney Houston sings and when Britney Spears sings, like you think, respect that And that's why I got extra time on the S A T. S. And we had to go to and he had to

go to the board of bed for that. Yeah, you had to go to the board of And my mom said, my son can't hear the difference between Whitney and Selena Gomez and he needs extra time on verbal Wait, oh my god, this is our new producer, Emma, producer Emma, and this is amazing. Can you show them that this this like fringe top? And yes, thank you, Emma. Emma always looks amazing. Emma always looks Amazing's ever Lane? That is ever Lane? That is? I don't think it is.

She was actually the one who told me what ever Lane was. And she is the one I learned that I'm entitled to ever Lane clothes that I haven't received. Is did you not receive them. And I'm not trying to shade you. I swear to God, I'm not okay, all great because you didn't fill out the form. That's something I don't know because I can only read some emails,

depending depending on if it feels like it's scary. Um, So if the subject and suggested I was going to have to send something back, there's a chance that I didn't read it. Can I say so? I will say right now. So of course you don't like Katherine Zaida because you're afraid of danger, and Katherine Zaida offers danger. It's actually real of culture number two. See what Katherine's

Zaida offers dangers? See when it comes to Catherine Zaida, I actually feel really bad for people like you, because like you, because like because like you fell for it? What did I fall for something that the Oscar voters also fell for? You, stupid bitch? Like, like what did I fall for? Abject talent? Seek treatment? Stop? But thank you for creating a space for me to say, listen to my podcast. Listen. I think we've really come to

a lot of um important points here. This has been an important discussion and exchange, but still a proposal, and it is coming, and it's coming, but first I think we should get started. And also, everyone raise your hand off your single like looking to get married tonight, somebody

meet tonight, okay, okay? Can I say something. A lot of my a lot of my crushes in the audience that I think are hot didn't raise our hands and that isn't And I want to say, and I am talking to you in the front round, sorry, and I want to say I know though, I wait, Oh my god, is that whatever? It's harmless, it's fun. I'm sorry. His friend is saying he's married, okay, is marybody's open? Okay? Cool? And I want that is that that's gonna be our ours to discuss later, okay, can you stay out of it?

And I want to say that my current primary crush is in this is in the area tonight on a date with someone else. What And that's okay? And that's okay, that's okay. I have no crushes on the agenda. You don't have any crushes. I have one second, one primary, two secondaries, and three tertiaries. I would say I have about seven hundred tertiary crushes and no one that I'm

like staying up at night thinking about. So what I'll give you this advice, this treatment is you need to cultivate one of those tertiaries into a secondary to write stories about them in your head that make them Okay, we gotta you go to therapy like and that that's what my therapist advice is one of those tertiaries secondary primaries, and that's why I'm functional. And with that, let's move forward with more. I don't think so, honey is yeah? Alright?

This next group is called get all the Good Juice. Well, please give it for Andy Ward, please give it up for any which, Please give it up for Chris Laker, please give it up Revegan Marrow, and give it up for my sister Silasium. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, and welcome. Now I want to say to Andy Ward. Step to the mic, please, hey, hey, how are you? I'm doing great? I'm great too, And I want to know what are we doing a trouble? Are we doing a pre? Select the topic? We've got a pre I love that it's

not a controversial kind of controversial. So if you can like contact your senator after that would be great. We all have Kirsten Jellabrand's number in our phones, right She text back, and that's why I love her. Um oh, she's my senator. Okay, here we go, Andy, Yes, here we go your I don't think so, honey, top. It's pret selected and it will begin now. I don't think so fucking Instagram ads, bitch, Okay, yes, alright, it's like

I don't fucking get it. Um I um just like, oh my god, I'm bombing U. No, So I what. I don't fucking think so Instagram ads because it's like I think they're listening to us, and I'm like, hello, bitch, I'm like sick of getting all these fucking fat pants and erect how this function? Uh pillars. I'm like, I don't think this is for me, honey, okay, this is I think you have the right seconds, the wrong guys. So I don't think so Instagram ads because I hate

scrolling through Instagram. And then I'm like seeing Anthony's Instagram profile okay, and then that's just another fucking ads and I'm like, excuse me, uh, thank you Anthony Anthony for like being a person for etcetera, because now I need etcetera. Okay, five seconds, So I fucking I hate that's good, mad, thanks so much, anyone's I don't think so honey that Actually I have to say, you gave us a rule of culture. It's rule culture number ten. Anthony is an ad.

He's an ad. Everyone, please welcome the stunning addiewhere. Oh boy, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. What's the story. What's the story, what's happenings? Let me tell you the story is the story is I cyber Monday and Monday Monday. But but none of my ship came, even though I expedited. So you know what email customer service, I said, please refund me expedited, I know. And then I got this at northstron Rack about two hours ago, and I'm so happy.

I asked for the story loom so good. Yes, stuff and it's actually real. Culture number seven. Let's get into your I don't think so honey. So of course as a bowl. Of course, there's a pre selected option. But I'm unfortunate. Hashtag pre for she for me. I love that. Here's addiewhere, riches. I don't think so honey, addie. Your time starts now. I don't think so honey. Oceans eight, what the fuck? Sorry? No, sorry, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry honey, have you been super excited for an amazing

heightst movie starring women all fucking summer long? Yes, honey, I was. I'm sorry, honey. Did you when you got to the movie theater where you like, Wow, this movie has no adversity. Well, it's almost as if these women, who are amazing actresses, were like just kind of dragged on a bad script that had no problem. There were no problems. There are absolutely no problems. There was one problem. Sorry, if this is Sportler spoiler alert, it's bad. Uh sorry.

There was a moment where they're like, oh no, the necklace, you need a magnet, and then Rihanna is like, it's okay. I got a sister who is super good at tech even though she's a team and can just fix it on the subway. I got sucking. Any is a stupid movie. Also, I don't think so, honey, and Hathway being the best part of the movie when you have all these other skirts write better lines for these actresses five seconds. Oh, I don't think so, honey. I saw it twice, and

we have to be honest about that. We have to be I said, it's just I don't think so, honey, honestly. Yeah, a movie that I didn't really like, but I would see again. Yeah, you're right, we wanted to like it more than it was good. Everyone please welcome Chris Lake her to them. Mike, Hello, Chris, Hey, how's it going. It's good, it's good. But I got a pre that I feel very strongly about. But I want to know what's in that fucking bowl. That's the thing, Chris. That's

a thing, Chris. And you know what you can't have. You got a ball. We're going to the ball. Okay, So Chris Laker, your I don't think so, honey. Topic is Natalie Portman and your time starts Now, that's actually the one I was gonna do anyway, I don't think so, honey, Natalie Portman, you made the worst Star Wars movie. However, wise, why she personally did? What's that? She personally wrote that she was involved. She should have seen that ship and said, I can't be a part of this. I'm rich already.

I was rich as a teenager. I don't need to ruin star Wards thirty seconds. I don't know a lot of movies she was in, but Black Swan, black Swan, I thought I didn't like but then my girlfriend convinced me that it was good seconds. But if I can't tell it's good, I got to be convinced it's good. And I like every movie I ever see five seconds, but nothing personally against her, because somebody here probably knows her due respect, But I still don't think so, Honey,

Natalie Portman, that's what manute. I love it. We got the important part, which was those Star Wars movies were not good. Now I want to ask, does anyone here know Natalie Portman? You really do? Wow? What if she was like I do and came forth like Leanne rhymes herself, Oh foul, Chris Laker, thank you? And now? And then what if she proposed to Chris Laker? Oh my god.

I just want to say that I thought Natalie was really good in that movie with um I don't say with Ashton Kutcher where they hooked out, but they were just friends and it got really complicated. I like that movie. I thought she was good. Well, I have to say we as we as a podcast do endorse that movie because it has our our uncle Guy Brandham in it. So I have to say I publicly endorsed snow Strings

attached privately, I might like friends with benefits more. I think I like that one mar because Natalie's like a doctor and she's always like um, getting texts at work in her like lab coat, and that was fun for me as if aware. Great, all right, here we go, continuing with Irene Fagan Merrow, Irene. Oh, yes, hello, how are you hello? I'm so good, thank you so much

for having me you were being here. Now listen, as you probably know by now, there's a multiple options as the trouball and there's also you know, there's pre selected. She's a pre selection and mainly because I was afraid that Ariana Grande is going to be in the bowl and like something I cannot risk she's in there. I can't risk it. She's in there anonymously as Ariana, and that might still happen. So think about that potential trouballers. But it sounds like we're not going to do that. Yeah,

you know, I've got a whole thing plan. I got a lot to get off much thing. Here we go. Listen, Irene, you're I don't think so many time starts now, I don't think so, honey, straight man eating ass and thinking it makes them a fucking ally. I want to be clear, I am an ass eating stan, but it does not absolve you of your straight male sit honey. Okay, okay,

I don't think so, honey. This coming after years of women being like, can you please, for the love of God, find my clit and lick it and they're just like, Okay, yeah, cool, I'll eat your butt. Are you fucking kidding me? And I don't think so, honey. This is another gorgeous example of men just just just refusing to listen to what women so clearly and directly ask of them, Like we're like, hey, what if you just stopped raping us at an alarming rate?

And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool, listen to this, uh ladies night at the club. But when we get one free jello shots, huh igan merrow. Okay, we could get into a symposium right now on but eating and that would be helpful, and that would be helpful, but that'll be a top back after the show in the bar. Great, everyone, please welcome. So last Yeah, oh I love that. I love that. I love that piece. I love that piece. I love that piece. Thanks boys,

I'm addicted to that piece. Addicted to the piece listen, Celeste. Yes, what I love about this night is it offers a choice, um, and one of the choices is the trollball, and the other choice that's offered is the of course pre selected by all fucking means take a Yeah, there's a stool, it's here. I'm not going to sit. Absolutely, I have a stall moment. Now tell us, pray tell because it also going to be pre select or it's not the bowl. Okay, it's not the ball. Or it's not the ball, it's

not the bowl. Okay, then fine, Okay, it's the last him. Your topic is pre selected, and your time starts. Now. I do not think so, honey, anyone who just this year discovered that Asians are hot, we are. We didn't want you to know. We wanted you to think we had bad skin and small dicks because our mom's told us to keep the best things in life for ourselves. That's called strategy. I had to endure being lumped into

people of color instead of people. Now I'm supposed to get it wet for a white guy who says aquafina is actually really pritty. Second, I know that. Now I'm like gonna get the gig. But Sandra Oh has taught me that being a sexual predator still makes you more likely to win an Academy award than being Korean. It's too much to ask that I would be rich, Asian and hot. Are you fucking kidding me? You'll deserve us. Okay, I got mistaken for Chloe Kitchen for Olympic gold medalists.

If Asians were allowed to be ugly, still, Boean would be here tonight. And that's one minute, so last him. So last, Yeah, I'm god, thanks, thank you for saying his name. I missed him. Can I say that I love you? Okay? Everyone giving up for this group? Get all the good juice, Andy Ward anywhere, Rich, Chris Laker, I mean fake and Marrow and so let's yim. Now that was startling. That was I'm shaken. I'm shaken. You didn't say shook. I didn't say shook because that didn't

fur it. But I was shaken by that whole thing that just happened. Just happened the whole group, honestly. So let's spoke Bowen's name. And I'm wondering, like, what's gonna happen? Are we gonna see Bowen show up? Bowen and Natalie walking hands and united and they're like, it's a united front. And also I cannot something about the guy who told me not to talk, because I'm like, does he hate me? Like? Can I get him to like me? The guy in

the back, I know, I don't know about him. I'm only sure about like one person in the front row. I'm teasing you. Okay, he's just seas how many years I've had it on this way? Okay, okay. This next group is called the Duchess's Sussexes. Please welcome Lauren Magnusson, Please welcome, Katie Michaelson, Amanda schecked man like Patricious of us, Rachel Rosenthal and Katie Barry, each and everyone, the Duchesses

of Sussexes. Wait, can I say one thing? The reason this is a group is because today and who wants to be a millionaire? Thanks? I do watch ABC during the daytime, as we know. Um. They the question was what is Kate when Kate melt it? What is Megan Markle's title? And the guy got it wrong. He guessed, he guessed the the Baroness of Bedminshire. Did he talk through it? He talked all the way through it. So he gave a shot. He talked through it as the loser on who wants to be a millionaire? I know

that it's hard, it's true. Um anyway, uh, everyone please talk to the mic. Lauren Magnusen. Oh we asked for a look, and there's off look A wild look appeared. All right, here we go. So, Lauren, Hi, you have a phone in your hand with I would assume notes on it for a pre prepared on headlines, just headlines one word. I love that, Okay, so listen, it's a pre prepared topic. Yes here, Lauren your I don't think so, honey.

Time begins now. I don't think so, honey. Pepe will who pretend that the opening lines to the song Circle of Life aren't real words? Okay, we all love the Lion King, but it is not nostalgic and fontest butter out nonsense. It's embarrassing. Okay, we know that you don't speak Szulu. That is not give you permission to tell your head back and scream now and then a bunch of sounds that you made up in your head like

it doesn't matter. Okay, have some fucking respect. It's a real language and By the way, the translation is actually quite beautiful. By way, you wouldn't know that you've never given yourself a courtesy Google check. Have you bitch all right? You love to write it out to okay? You have an instagram of your friend holding out your feral calico mingo simba. No, you write out a caption that has an incoherent mix of vowels and continence in all caps.

I don't think so. If you think that it's too much work to learn more than Hakuna Matata in one movie, think again, bitch, I don't think so. That's magnusen. Those are words, the words I'm I have been. I have been guilty of that. You've been guilty. I've been guilty of that, And but I definitely learned tonight. And that's what's important to be And that is about. This whole night's about and the whole night has been has been about education and will continue to be a bad education.

Get to the mic kicking eagleson Now here's the real t Here's the real ty. I just mentioned millionaire. Kiki and I were on the same episode Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Castmates Castmates, and I won five thousand dollars and she won a hundred thousand dollars. True story. You didn't have something fun about that hundred thousand dollars. It's gone goodbye bye money by money. Okay, So Kicky, listen,

I love it. You've always made great decisions before and your tenure on and even in just the choices that were a tasteful choker as I think, thank you, ne belt a neck belt. All right, so listen, we have, of course the option of the troll ball you're celebrated improviser, or we can do you know, the pre selected. It has been pre selected. I love that kicking. Here it goes, here's your I don't think so, honey, and your time starts now. I don't think so honey. Not looking incredibly

hot after losing a ton of weight. I've lost over a hundred pounds in the last two years. Clap about it, and my body looks like a melted candle. I knew I wouldn't look like a victorious secret model, but I did think i'd look like an airy model. Those pitches aren't air bros. I don't think so, honey. I ran the New York City Sucking Marathon, and like than and my tants look like pancakes with pencil erasers attached to them at that point at the floor. I don't think so, honey.

I haven't had full calorie ice cream in two years. Just halo top. That tastes like someone thought out ice cream and burped in your face. Seconds the sluth skin on my stomach hangs down so far that you can't see my pussy from the front. I don't think so, honey, you can't see my pussy from the suckers? Can you keep us? And everybody? Thank you? Amazing, amazing, thank you, amazing, unbelievable this night, This night was scorching us all. I

didn't continue to squatch with my sister Amanda set Man. Hello, Queen, I just want to first say I think my group is like a whole viye yes, groups five you guys, the Dutch says, because I'm obsessed. Amanda. Okay, So I have a question, and that I think you'll know what that question is. It's they love you, alright, So listen, we have either a trouble or a priest. Let's a topic. That's the choice. I'm literally going to read my notes like word for word. It's going to be so I'm

gonna be attached. We love that. Here's Amanda second. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so honey. The Instagram explore p Yes, none of us are talking about this. Why it's very dark. It's quietly, quietly ruining my life. Um, you don't know me, Okay, You're like most of the men i've dated. Okay, This identity that you have curated for me is based on lies.

This is about you, sweetie. Who is she? You actually are different from them, though, because sometimes you make me calm, fuck me with memes, I'm absolute trash. One time you showed me a video of a woman getting a fun haircut by having it set on fire. You are the ID of the fucking internet. Based on your algorithm, You've pinned me somewhere between gayten and a middle aged woman from Florida. You're where my depression begins and ends. And while we're on the topic, I don't think so, honey,

social media exacerbating depression. You are a collage of shame. No thank you, my Instagram explore page, you are interest without consent. You're my best friend of my worst fucking enemy. Honestly yes, and they are listening to us for sure, because I said the words Patricia Clarkson near my phone one time and it was like, do you like Patricia Clarkson? And I would never say Patricia Clarkson. And this is

not the only Clarkson I say is thanks bitch. And I once said near my phone that I needed new underwear. And now all of my ads are like porn, like softcore porn um. That is different. That's a different experience. But I knew that since my experience was different, I had to share it and and thank you for that. And then I continues to be about education. Everyone, please have a my friend, put shuts up your list of them by giving you arms. This bit the Duchess is

a girl. Is a girl group. This is a girl group. This is what Danity Kane should have. This is what Danity Kane should have been, the Danity Cane we deserved. This is a little mix. This is the Danity Kane. But everyone's all brief. Wow, And I think, and I think that's a good thing. Famously about being in a car and not at a club is a song about being a woman, and yes, in a car cars for you yes, So, Patricia, I'm here and I'm asking you, is it pre selected? A trouball? It's got to be

pre selected because I'm surprised that no one's done this yet. Wow. Okay, here we go, hot take coming, here we go, Tricia. You're I don't think so many times starts now, I don't think so, honey, Amanda By, we were all rooting for you. Listen, we loved Guda and we all were confused as to whether we wanted Calling Firth to fuck us or be our dad. Listen, you did not start Channing Tatum's career. Channing Tatums Dick started his career. Guy. Listen.

What Britney Spears did when she shaved her head with that did to game In is what Amanda Binds his tweets did to white women who were growing up being quirky and wanting to be funny. Bit So, you know, when she was like, oh, I want Drake to murder my pussy, we were all like, live Amanda alone, we all want Drinke to murder our pussy. Then she got cheek piercings. We were like, listen, woman's right to choose. And then and then she's like Michelle Obama's ugly, and

we were like, no, you see this whole. This is where Dustin Diamond, mcaulay Culkin and the fucking Halts and Twins go. You go in there, you don't come back and your own fucking words bringing the dancing, fucking lopsters. I don't think so, Patresia. Wow, here I thought Amanda Bond goes back, and now I'm convinced that she's not. Yeah, I don't know that she's back. We can't have her, we can't, but be sad. It makes me sad. I need to go to a space and get to the space.

I need to go get okay. You need to go get okay. And while you're getting okay, please welcome Rachel Rosenthal to the mic. Hi, come on high. So I know nothing about pop culture, Well, I'm guessing you're not doing the ball, but let's do the fucking ball. Yeah, but first, but first, but first, I wish how to ring on me because Kiki Michaelson, you're my Oh my god, will you she said, yeah, oh my god, wow, that was so important and special. We're going into the bowl

and I'm picking it out right now. Kurt and I hope Henry Winkler hasn't been chosen. Okay, Okay, Rachel, this is really good for you. I doubt you know you know, you know your I don't think so, honey. A troll Bowl topic and it's seasonal and topical as my fault. Don't think it's rumbling. Is Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer and your time starts now? Fuck you, Rudolf the motherfucking red Nose Reindeer. I'm a jew, My nose matters, all right, all right, I don't think so. I don't think so, honey.

I don't think so. You couldn't see, they couldn't see. Anyone can take their fucking iPhone out. Something is wrong with your face. Also, what is your voice? So it's just so high? And also how many songs do you need? Okay? And come on, name one fucking reindeer game? What one? Al right? What scrapple? No, that's a human game game. You know what. I don't think so, honey, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. First off, Rudolph dumb name, call yourself, Rudy,

call yourself rural, give yourself something snappy. I will find my own way home, Thank you very much. That I man, that was amazing. Rachel Rosenthal, that's a troop of that. To know that is true professional trouball and coming to the mic is the hurricane that I know. And her name is Katie Berry. Touch me, Katie Berry. I love you, I love you. And by the way, I also won five grand on millionaires. Fairly at the fucking footage because it's embarrassing. It's so embarrassing. Did you lose a lot

of money and then get bumped down? I I got up to like the ten thou questions bumped down, so it really wasn't that as keeks. I was up to the K number and spelled something wrong and got it and got bumped. I'm sure she's fail. I'm so sick of being the only person not on Millionaire. I'm so sick of it in this town. Town you can't win in this town. By the way, really quick about education. I just want to say, I'm really sorry I have in my life posted to ted Bird photos to Instagram.

I can't believe I got all down. I was like, oh my god, I'm sorry. I'll never do it again. And I'm a better person because it is shook sucking all right, Listen, Katie Berry. We have a trouble here, we also have a beautiful, gorgeous mind full of I know, grievances. So what are we doing? Make your own choice. IMpower you to make your own choice. I had to pre selected, but I feel like Katie, Katie, what the fuck Katie? They want? Because everyone's screaming, I how do I selected?

In my mind? Chris, what the funk? Am I thinking? This is insane? We are very topical and seasonal. I don't think so is the North Pole? And your time starts now? I don't think so, honey, north Pole. The only north Pole I want is my boyfriend's hard dude, that canny ship. That's a patriarchal society led by one sat white man with a big old beard, shaking ship Santa. I don't like all that hair. Damn. Mrs Claus is sitting at home bacon cookies and ship and range and

find around. And you've been slaved an entire society of little people who are just working a fucking figure to the boat for our super consumers children, so I can have the fucking iPhones for Christmas. North Pole? Fuck you, North Pole? You know what global warming is coming for you, North Pole. It's coming. You're reaping what you sow. You're in Dutch, You fucking war complex. It's melting those and you live on and you are going down. Sit. I want to fucking cookie, want to spit and eat you.

I'm gonna fucking true on your I hate the North Pole. I don't think so. Hon name, Queen Diva, Katie Berry, Queens God, thank you for pushing me to have that experience and give it. Magnusen, Kiki Michelson, Amanda Settman, Patricia Sabulist, Rachel Rosenthal, and the Queen Diva Katie Berry. Oh my god, that that was harny. That was harny. That was so horny. Oh. So, can I say if the North Pole votes, they go red? Conservative people up there at the North Pole just saying

a traditionalist, Um yeah, white, why it's very white there. Now, you were very shook by one of those. I don't think so. Honey's about Amanda Binds, Oh yeah, I was affected. I just um, I just feel like if I could have just met her earlier. Um, it's just so crazy. It's this is not my fault, it's not my business. But I can't help but feel partially responsible. I could have done something, um, but that's you know that you're wrong. It was your responsibility. And actually we're gonna move on.

And I struggle with this anymore. Okay, I struggle with that, and let's move on, right, everyone, give it up for this group. We're just called the boys in my band. How do we feel? Oh sorry, it's the boys in my band? Ha ha. Give it up for Kevin A. Give it up for Alex Gibson, give it up for John Graziano, give it up for Taylor Rivers, and give it up for Sam mar Listen, Yes, I plucked the screenp together. Boys. I feel like I'm on gay Bachelor. It's very much that there will be a proposal tonight.

Will be another proposal tonight. That's the reveal, and that's there will be a second proposal for a marriage tonight at this show. Yes, everyone, please welcome Kevin A to the mic. Hi. Hey, Kevin, Now we talked backstage and you want to preface your I don't think so. Yeah. Yeah, listen up. A couple of nights ago, I had a very vivid dream about this night. Oh my god, and you were there. You were there, but you were sitting there, and so in the dream I picked the trouble, and

in the trouble I got Andy Garcia. Andy Garcia. Yes, and I need to make my dream come true. You want to do Andy Garcia, I'm gonna do Indy Garcia. I'm not gonna have sex with him, but I will him in terms of the hunty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's selected from a trouble from my dream. Yes, I'm with this, Ken. I don't think so, honey. And if time starts now, okay, a grown man named Andy, I don't think so, honey. Unless you're making pop art out of Campbell suit cans or making old rich ladies fight

on TV, you didn't need to be called Andrew. You're a man of a certain age, Andy Garcia, come on, Okay. So here's a fun fact about Andy Garcia. His first acting role was in the pilot episode of Murder. She wrote, Yeah, I learned that today, and I think I know what's happens. He's on set. Angela Landsbury calls him Andy, and it got stuck. And you know what, if that's the case,

I don't care if you're a dame. I don't think so honey, you cannot be renaming our Latino actors to talk about Mom and Mia too, Fernando share Abbott, they sing about that Andy Garcia plays for an Ino and Mom and Mea too. So now I had to picture Andy Garcia every time I hear that song five seconds that's Jimmy Schmits for me Yea. And the season three episode of Murder, she wrote, who at sixty three should

be called James? You know? Angela Lansbury called him Jimmy, and once again, Dame Angela renames are Hispanic beloved actors, two kids names and and it was an education kis. And we can't have Angela Lansbury just doing whatever the fun she wants Shels Island. Angela Lansbury needs to be doing what I want, which is being in The Beauty and the Beast remake, because I didn't need whatever Emma Thompson was doing. See Me After, Yes, See Him After? Why was the song so slow? The Beauty and the

Beast song and the movie was slow? I didn't see that film, okay, but but I've also is It's one of the greatest honors in our culture to be in someone's dream. And I feel honored to have been in your dream. Is there going to be a proposal right now? Wow? Okay, oh my god, Oh my god, it's okay. Just do my nicotine. Yes, yes, he said yes. Most he is gonna be on the Toughest Way podcast, and Kevin actually asked my dad if he could ask me to be on the podcast. My dad actually said yes and that

I love traditional and that was important to me. So I'm glad he talked about other podcasts. Is a raiser and we're gonna move on. All right, here we go, Welcome Alex Gibson to the mag I like this outfits. I was told to prepre Oh, you know what's happen, you know what you know? What's good? Okay, here we go, Alex. Yes, I'm excited to hear what you're doing. Well. True story. I had two different prepared ones that were both done previously. Tonight.

That's hard. So even though I famously do not know celebrities, and the terror fills my blood. Oh, I love that. I'm gonna go ball. Oh, and my hands in there. It feels good. It feels so good to have my hands in here. And as I pull it out, you know this celebrity, bring it on your trouble. I don't think so, honey. Topic is Mark Wahlberg. Thanks so, honey, Mark Wallburg, Hulk was middling at best, was he and home?

Fuck you for making me think you were the Hulk Monk, Mark Wallberg, because you know what, you're an average white guy with brown hair. Every average white guy with brown hair has played the Hulk. Mark Rolberg has done the following under that one, Mark Lberg, you seem like a

straight tu bag. Mark Wallberg, you were Marky Mark. Oh, you had a big penis, but it was fake, and that was a lie to fifth grade me who looked up a Google image of you with that giant penis and expected that to be how they all looked fifteen seconds. Fuck you for lying to me. I have a queery bees wax. Why did you have a rap career? That's appropriation? Booms um, Marky Mark sucked my dick and that's that's

one minute. You know what. That wasn't impressive. I don't think, Sonny, because for the first ten seconds we didn't even know what Mark we were talking about, and then in the last fifty seconds we got a full I don't think so honey, just to be celebrated. And I didn't know about that. Um, I didn't know about the fake penis penis picture at all. So now it wasn't a picture, bitch, it was a live action moment. He whipped out a fake cock in boogue. I didn't know about that. I

did not about that. But also the movie Ted was very bad and not enough people talk about that. And also he famously said he could have like stopped nine eleven or something. He's like, if I was on the plane, that wouldn't have happened. Okay, well, that don't getting mad at me, he said it. Okay, that's how I feel about Amanda Bynes. It's John Graciano. Hello, John. It's lovely to see hi for having So are we doing a pre slet the topic or the Trouball? So? Okay, I

too have some context, added this. I want to do the Trouball so badly because I love I know, I love danger. Let's here, let's have something. I had. Something dramatic happened to me on the subway today. No, God, no, I wouldn't be here earlier this week m and my therapist canceled on me. So I'm here to hell, okay, he gets it. He doesn't charge me nearly as much as these ships, so he gets to buy a great

So here we are. We're going to act as the therapy, and this is I don't think so, honey, John Graziano, and your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. People who clip their fingernails on the subway? Where the fund did you come from? We're on the a train that does not stand for anything goes. It stands for act like a fucking human. I was on I swear to god, I was on the sea train the other day. Has anyone here ever been on the sea train before? Don't don't ever go back on the fucking sea train

was on. I was on the train and they stopped it because of a sick passenger. Give me a diagnosis, Get you a diagnosis. You know why, because I'm now trapped underground with a woman clipping her fingernails on my car. That's a sick passenger. Now, I think every time they say, every time they say we're sold because there's a sick passenger, I'm like, Okay, this person is not having a heart attack. I'd stopped for a heart attack. You can stole my

car for a heart attack. Now, when they say there's a sick passenger, I just imagine some woman clipping her fingernails, making so fucking mad. I don't think so, honey, clip your fingers on the goddamn train one minute. Don't do that. Are you fucking crazy? I will say I do crazy ship on the trains. I become something on the train and it's I don't clip my finger nails or my tone alice, But yeah, I would hope not. Or you're on someone else on the trains, I go into a feud.

Say it, um, So you're saying you can't be held responsible for your behavior on the trains. Yeah, And I think that that would hold up in a court of law. If I'm on the trains, I'm not present myself. It's martial law when Pat Regan is on the trains. All right, everyone please welcome. Is that right? Martial laws? And I use that right? Or do I not know my words? Okay? Well fuck you everyone, please welcome. Taylor Rivers in from Toronto. In from Toronto, Taylor Rivers, my friend from Toronto to

me about your your decision. Select ah, Okay, he's had this on deck, so Taylor, you're I don't think so, honey. Time starts now, I don't think so, honey. The theme of my high school prom being old Hollywood glamour. Sorry, the only thing old Holly. What about my high school was like I didn't feel safe to come out. Also, you know whose idea that was. It was like this weird, horny girl named Rachel who was like on prom committee and like got a typewriter, so she felt like she

was like born in the wrong decade. My high school prom was so not old Hollywood glamored, and I literally got puked on on a fifty person party bus by a woman named Kelsey who had a two year old at home. She went on to get breath of lies and thrown in a cop car. But you know what, Let's celebrate how beautiful Judy Garland was when she was a kid. Let's focus on our problem. Committee was literally like, you guys are horrible kids. No one's graduating. But like,

you can't deny that Audrey Hepburn wasn't a fucking icon. Also, I don't think so many Marilyn Monroe r I p not to be a bit. She seemed really stupid. I think of you I think I think give you like Marilyn Monroe, you also think that like brunches. Fancy that's one man. She didn't seem smart. She didn't seem smart. All right, everyone, please welcome Sam Morrison to the man. Come on the leather jacket him since he said bunch. But what's uppen? All right? Here we go. Listen. What's

up is we have a decision here to make. It's the pre selected thing or you know, we have a trouble here. You know, I was gonna do I have a pre selected I was gonna do having seven no, no, stop it. I got you to talk about it, and I'm like so drunk, but I wanted to mention having seven white men on his stage at the same time. But that felt like a little much to talk about in front of everybody. Oh my god, thank you so much for having me. I'm kidding by that's my time

and seen select. Okay, cool, perfect, So Sam, your time starts. I don't think so, honey, straight people taking the word daddy because y'all are not. You're just talking about something like adorable little twenty eight year old born star daddy And no, no, no, no, no, I want somebody who's like confused by his iPhone? Do you understand a father with a baby. I want Peter Griffin from Family Guy.

I want an old fat Harry daddy bear. Don't come for my word use psychos Okay, that is okay, And Joe, before you judge me, just know I don't say daddy because I want to fuck my dad. I say daddy because I want to fuck your dad. Seconds seconds okay. Oh, and it's not like straight people nicknames are any better. You say what like baby? Baby? Baby? What? He's that? What? Five seconds? What a baby is? You're seen a baby? They're so like pudgy and illiterate at like best, that's

what a baby is. Stay away from my word weird. But that's why Morrison give it up for the poison my band ha ha, Kevin a, Alice Gibson, John Graciano, Tell Rivers and Sam Morrison. Thank you hot boys boys. Kisses back literally, kisses back. I love how they um

literally if you want kisses back, um. I like how the group of all the game is like every single one was like, let me tell you the story of the journey of how I came to my decision tonight, um educational I'm telling you it continues on and who better to educate than white gay man. We have so we have a story to tell. So listen all right. This next group is called have you heard of Christmas? Which is also a plug? Are you she been? Bits? Have to do? Pleas playing in December. There's many things

you can come see. Thank you everyone. Please welcome Chanel Ali, my co host, Please welcome, Yesmin Garza, please welcome, Erica Hernandez, welcome, ari'all, Gitling, welcome, Sunny Yes, and welcome chat Seagull. This is the last group of the night. We are looking good. Let's bring to the mic Chanel Ali. Wow, that mike is very high. That that's very high for you, my Micael. Yesel a fan favorite. Already. Yes, here we go, Chanel A. We're doing a pre prepared topic or a trouball topic. Oh man,

I'm worried. That's something in that is something black people don't know about. I already got a thing, so I'm might think your thing. At least I don't think so. Honey. Your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Pigs in a blanket, it's very divisive, you know, you think that's what they call them, but not the one per centers, not in their homes. They're gated communities. Not pigs in a blanket. No, they call them crescent dogs. Crescent does.

And it's that type of elite. It's dope activity that's responsible for unemployment in the Midwest. I'm sick of it. I don't think so, honey. Pigs in a blanket and not bacon, not sausage, just pig pig wrapped in a buttery, flaky crust. Just because you want to get married, I don't think so, honey. You and I both know your fiance Hello is gay. And just because you want to basket and denial, I gotta cloth my honories. I don't think so. Five seconds, I thank you, Chanel Ali. Everyone,

it's actually a rule of culture number seventeen. You and I both know your fiance Paolo is gay. I love that. Everyone welcome to them like yes, man Garza, Hello, how are you doing good? It's mean usman. I'm so sorry, honey, people who mispronounced my name. I don't think so, honey them, and I don't think so honey. Me all right, So we have a tropal decision or pre selected Kasman Garza. Here we go. You're out on the honey. Time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Ariana Grande, pony, Tell what

are you doing? Ain't bitch you call yourself an artist? What are you doing innovate? I'm not asking you to get bangs, I'm not asking you to get layers. Just take out the goddamn pony. Tell what the fuck she acts? Dude, she likes her pony tells the same way she likes her men Hi as fun seconds Hi. Has she even gone through puberty? Yet? She even she has no himps and she she took out her fucking Mickey Mouse ears. Take out the goddamn pony. Tell are you an artist?

I want to see it. Ariana Grande. She has long, brown, shiny hair, and she's putting it up in a putting that's like having a fat ass and wrapping a flannel around your waist every day. I don't think so, honey, that's all right. I think you're honor. It is a really, really high It's so you think that's something about the world, but it does. It's heart, I know. Everyone. Please welcome

Erica Hernandez Erica. Listen, we have a trouble here full of topics, or your beautiful brain with whatever is in it. Thank you for trying my brain beautiful. No, I thank you for the choice. But I'm going to do a thing. You're gonna do a thing translated to pre selected. All right, here we go, so Erica, your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Men who jell their hair back hy under. Why why do you have to protect your head from with all that jew You want to protect

your head? Where a fucking helmet? No, that's if you take a picture and the flash reflects off of the top of your head. That's a problem. And you know what. I know you think it looks all wet like you put water in it. But I know your secret. You didn't shower, You put some water on your hand, and then you put off up jel on top of it. That's not clean. Guys who don't jel their hair the same guys who wear a whole bunch of acts and DJ and show their chest hair wochs and gel. There's

only one thing. There's only one thing. I wanted five hard on a man when I walk up to him and it's not on top of his head it's his abs, but I'll oh my god, unbelievable. And now please welcome area, good loud hi high. All right, here we go. We're doing either a priest like the topic or you know, there's the trouball here pre for shame and here we go, ariel Getling, your time starts now. I don't think so, honey,

Ansel Elgort. When I saw the fault of dart Stars, I was happy when your character died because I didn't get to see your stupid fucking face anymore. I don't think so, honey, Ansel Algar. Do you think you're cool because you got a Golden Glove nomination for baby Driver? Well maybe they should have given it to your stunt double who probably actually did all the work. Look, Barney a high school? Do you even happy driver's license? Anyone could have played that role if they just put on

rabians and headphones. Okay, I don't think so, honey, Ansel Elgor. You're not an edip musician. You're a rich kid with all laugh t seconds. I don't think so, ansl al Gore. You're a bad influence on Timothy shall Im five seconds. I don't think so, honey, Ansle alcre and I fucking think you bombed in What Side Story? And you haven't even felt that good love? Unbelievable and now please welcome Sunny Ray is hey, hey, hey, hey oh the look is present. Hello Sunny Now. I have a question for you.

Is that the trouble or preselected reselected Sunny Ray? Is your time starts now? I don't think so, honey, West Side Story, remake what it is happening, Google it. I don't think so, honey. Okay, it was a really problematic in nineteen sixty one, honey, Okay, every actor that played the Puerto Rican roll were role face, including rida'm Alrina. I don't think so, honey. So Steven Spielberg, you're bringing back West Side Story without a Puerto Rican writer or

Puerto Rican coreograt practice. I don't think so, honey. Okay, I don't think so, honey. You're bringing West Side Story a year after that my President Trump through paper towels at Puerto Ricans that we're dyeing with no electricity or water. I don't do so, honey. I don't think so. I know you're castor Rina whatever in a made up roll that doesn't even exist in the original. No, honey, she's a fucking national treasure function. You didn't hire her back

after she wouldn't asked her for it. I don't think so, honey, say no to the west. And now with the final I don't think so, honey. Of the night, please welcome my friend, chat siega o, my god, Hello, chat Hello listen, this is the finale of the night. I want to know are we doing the ball? Are are we doing? I don't think any pre prepared? She came prepared. Okay, here we go with the prepared. I don't think the only topic here is chet Siegal. Your time starts now.

I don't think so, honey. The people who say, oh, don't mind him, he's from another time. Oh oh really, Oh really, then show me his motherfucking time machine. I'm sorry. Unless you can show me that time machine, I don't think so, honey. The only thing your racist old ass has in common with Marty McFly is you both have Parkinson. Yes, okay, if you don't think you can behave and exist in or follow standards and rules, then fine. You don't get

the perks. Okay, you don't get medical advancements, you don't get Dick pills. You don't get pulled up if you racist old ships have the balls to tell me that I have a nice nose for a keke thank you. Then then you can piss it a ball next to your bed and die of polio. I don't think so. That's one minute, everyone, and can you give it up

for this group? Have you heard of Christmas Chanel Ali? Yes, me and Carza, Erica Hernandez, Harrya Gitling and chats go and with that we have I don't think so, honey Live pett Regan. Thank you for being with me tonight. And again, when I first heard Bowen Yang was unwilling to do the show, I was like, I hope the show still goes off, and I'm just so glad that I'm so happy that we did that. Guys, thank you all so much for coming out. Please listen to the

podcast I'm like and subscribe. Thank you so much. Have a great night. We'll see you out there in the bar. This a DJ. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcast, Spotify,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook. H