"I Don't Think So, Honey! 9" (Part One)

a gift. I like everly and stuff. Bye. Hey guys, this is Matt and I just want to tell you about a new Forever Dog podcast network staple, and that is a new pod called This Is What Democracy Pods Like? And this is gonna be one of your new favorite podcasts. I'm actually sitting here with one of the host former Lost Cultures discuss Billy Domino. Billy Domino say something, I haven't done anything since that episode of Lost Culture. I'm

structurally unemployed. And with that, check out This What Democracy Pods Like, also hosted by Oscar Montoya and Kate Friedman, who are right now late to this recording of our episode featuring me. We're gonna talk about everything on this podcast. We're gonna talk about democracy. We're gonna talk about what it's like to be in democracy. We're gonna talk about what's like to hold a democratic of views and then

to work to uphold them in a democracy. What if you were to combine pod Save America and uh pod Save America, God Save America, you would get this is what democracy pods like. On the Forever Dog podcast Network, hosted by Billy Domino, Oscar Montoya, and Kate Friedman, and featuring on an episode Fucking Yes, Matt Rogers, He's just gonna get Jay Leno. We've got him so many times.

He keeps coming back in a new car every time he where We started recording to the outside to do here beep beep on looking at the look Oh Jay, look man, Oh I see you? Why why? And look over there? How is that culture? Yes? Goodness, let's calls. Welcome ladies and gentlemen. Please welcome Matt Rogers and Pat Regan. Okay, okay, hold on, ding done last Caltursta's calling. I was gonna

see if you even knew it. I knew it even though I don't listen to the podcast less I'm on or I mentioned no. I Actually that was gonna be the first thing I asked. By the way, my name is Matt Rogers. My name is Pat regain Hi. The way that I usually start the show is by asking who listens to the podcast? So, who listens to last culturestas, Oh my god, and then I was like thinking, thank you. By the way, I was thinking, I guarantee that does not listen to this podcast. I listen to any podcast.

I guarantee you listen to your own. Sometimes I do if I'm on a podcast, or I mentioned I listened after I mentioned I stopped listening, might come back in Welcome to our seminar and narcissism. Do you ever do the thing where you you hit fifteen fifteen fifteen and so you hear yourself talk. I live in that space. I don't do that. That was a guest for him. I don't do that. I don't, I don't. I don't do that. I'm so thrilled to be here and kind of pitch and I don't know my Bowen was unwilling

to do the show. I feel like it begs the question, like I guess I want to take an audience poll. Do you guys think that Bowen is a busy at work tonight? With his new best friend Claire Foy, looking forward to their podcast more. Do you think that we finally killed him and I finally one took my rightful place as the lack culturally star bowen as um the queen. I'm I'm a Stone and your the other one. Rael. Yeah, that's how you feel. At least that's how you feel. Wait,

you feel that I am? You feel this right? I am Rachel? Um? Actually, no, you can get the march now. I got a cute little pillow. If you feel this way on it. I don't know pillow. Who know? You're right? You're Rachel. I'm no, You're I'm a I'm Rachel. You feel this way? Okay? You feel that you are the schemer out of the two of us. No, No, that I just twitched how I felt. Oh so you're Emma. This is like very the queen right now? Maybe I am the queen in a way now that you say that,

I think that's how I feel. I think you are the queen, although I don't think that Bone and I like compete to like curry favor with you. That's Sudi and Catherine. Um. Anyways, but anyways, Um, we said we did see you the Favorite together, which is why you're getting all this favorite. Yes, we have one day on the front like this snapping for the Fave. Um, did you guys like the Favorite? I love that we're talking like this is a gay podcast, you know, because like

we're not like did you guys like? Venom? Were like, did you guys like the Favorite? Um? I didn't know what the Favorite was until you told me do you want to see the Favorite? And I said what is that? And you said a movie? And I said sure, And so I'm going to just get out not isolated, and that's why they're in The Favorite. Really is helpful. Yeah, I'm a good tool to get kids out of the house. The Favorite. My issue, my my issue with the Favorite

is that we're doing we're doing reviews. We're doing reviews? Are we? Are we not reviews? I felt like this film was enjoyable, great so far at some though it did at some At at certain points it was three hours long. I felt like, um, the runtime was two hours in one minute, but at certain points it was three hours long. UM. And that was hard for me as someone who struggles to pay attention to even anything. Yeah,

never mind lesbians. I actually had a different. I had a difficult time with the favorite, because this is me with all Oscar movies after they're over. I don't know if I actually am trying so hard to like them so that smart gay Twitter t M doesn't get horribly upset with me, or if I really enjoyed myself with the cinema. And I feel that I enjoyed myself with the cinema. And I think I'm a Stone Game Tony Force, and I think she's the m v P for me. My m A Stone movie is still easy A. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. And as someone who did meet Penn Baduley in my former customer service position, I love Penn bad I do love Penn. She wasn't like, um, he wasn't hot anymore when I saw him, and that's and guess what, like that's okay, wait he did. Okay, I'm not going to say, because you know, hot is subjective. They say, they say, I'm saying they said. People are saying this right now, People are saying this right now, are happening right now as we speak, and they are saying this,

which which is that hotective? And also I do believe that Penn Badgeley was once irresistible to me, and now I feel that maybe I'm a Chase Crawford gay. Yeah, okay, hey guess what. Every everyone's safe here. I for me, in my experience around pen Badgeley, he was at one point I feel irresistible to me, and now absolutely I would suck his dick. I am able to resist him. Today you would suck his dick. But but but but you wouldn't have to. I would not have It would

not be a compulsion. It would be a choice today. Whereas let me tell you something, this is I suck on that dick, and it doesn't matter what I feel. It's not a choice, and it wouldn't be a choice a choice, and he doesn't. It wasn't a choice to suck. And that's actually a culture. It's rule culture number seventy one. It wasn't a choice to s we have it. I feel like my back is to y'all. Hey, this thick over here? Are you guys comfy? Great? Cool? I'm really

comfy in my ever Lane denim jacket. And you can use the promo code ding Dong at everland dot com for some percent off stitch your premium. That's one of them and I'm comored with. This piece was ten dollars at Uniklo. It did come in a packet. There is no promo code, but it was ten dollars, so in a way, you don't even need one. There was drama backstage because I Forever Dog produced asked if I was wearing Everlane and I said what, and she said Everlane

and I said what? And you didn't know Everlane. And then I come to find out that Everline is sponsoring Forever Dog and I've not been told, and I've been It's taken off absolute storm. I have yet to be taken by storm by ever Lane. I'm still sifting through the packets of teas at unclose. You are awaiting the storm. I'm awaiting the storm. You are currently your status is awaiting the storm. And that's actually a beautiful fucking space to be, to know the storm is coming and to

sit on the beach like Taloni in Deep Impact. Let's go thererestas I knew a movie. I never saw a deep M. You've never seen Deep Pimp. No, I've never seen Deep M. I. Um, you have to force him to get culture. I've seen um is that Lily's sobe What did you just do Lily sobe and that wasn't agree for Lily Sobieski. Yes, I love Lily, but she what she? What did she do wrong? My scence? She still here? I think I think I think she cross in Hollywood? Is my question looks like a little Helen Hunt.

Can I say something? Where is the lie? She's saying? Absolutely right? That silence? Say something? Okay? I saw an image is that Dwayne read recently all great stories begin And the image that I saw at the Dwayne mood line was an image of Kate Hudson, and I was struck by how much Hudson looks like Goldie Hawn, her mother. Oh yeah, that's always been the narrative, always been narrative. But I never agreed with the narrative. I was like, okay,

you're telling me their mother daughter. I'll believe you. But I never saw it in the bone structure. And then imagined to be standing and Dwayne read a game out and finally realized that, wow, Kate Hudson looks like Goldie Hawn. Was shaking. It was shaking for you, it was shaking for me. Yeah, I actually think that Kate Hudson is brilliant. So do I and I think she is good and has a great inge and if if I think so too, and if Fabletics made men's wear, I would be taking

my storm. Or now you must have waited the storm for now. I am who I one time saw in a restaurant. Oh, this is T. This is like mean T. Should I spill it? Yeah? I saw David Ducovany in a restaurant with his kids and then a leone came in and she like sat down with the kids and he left and they didn't speak. I feel really bad. That's like family drama. That's like that family can look like anything and that's what works for them. And I just thought it was crazy to see like a celebrity

divorce kid handoff. That is crazy in dojo on the lowery side, you maybe you could have stepped in and kind of facilitated a conversation that needed to be had. It happened so quickly there was no opportunity to step in. Okay, well maybe digitally, I don't know. I guess I just stepped in. Yeah, you know, you just stepped in, which is actually important and you actually are a social worker,

thank you. And speaking of stepping in, really can we all just give a very warm, loving round of applause for Pat who stepped in and it was my true sister tonight. Really thank you, thank you. You know it's funny. I feel like I I identify as my I don't think so any career being over. I've retired and this is all just fun now, Like none of this affects my legacy. I don't feel the need to perform well, um, but I'll step up to keep to be a pillar. You're like when Barber stris End does a movie. I'm

like a barber Stricken does a movie. And um, and that is so free. Um. But when I got the text, when I got the several texts, it was several texts, in fact, panicked texts. I found out that bone was going to be held at work only hours ago. And I find panicked texts to be a potent for dasiac. And so did you get a warning when you when you received a text from me, Um, no, that we do need to address the elephant in the room. Yes, we made out for twenty minutes on a downs and

why are you bringing it up? And we both had the intention of doing it. It wasn't like a mistake. It wasn't like, oh wow, we found ourselves doing this. We had the and and and and Matt did very much say I would invite you back, but I haven't a morning tomorrow. And that's cool. And if you can be saying that tonight to any of you single gaze, just come home with me anyway. I know not what I do and say, I don't know my words in my heart. I love it. You can get that on

a phone. Case. Um, so what do you say? Should we? I don't. I mean, you're kind of steering the ship. I'm just here to support some right. Why am I even asking you? Should we get started with the show? So? Who here has ever been to I don't think so, honey, lie before? Who's been here before? Who's new to the event? Okayshman, Um okay. So basically what's gonna happen is you're gonna

see a roughly fifty comedians get on stage tonight. They are all gonna take one minute to rant against something in culture in a segment that Bowen and I call, I don't think so, honey. It is um the I guess uh climax of our podcast every week we're doing it here tonight, fifty of them fifty two if you count myself in Pat Regan, because we are about to demo them for you. I'm gonna go first. I'm gonna do a prepared one than Bowen. I miss him? Wait wait? Can I say? Can I say I miss him? That's

really hurtful. I just gave you so much props. You gave me so much props. Can I wait? Can I say? Why? I am mad at you? Because I came out here and I turned around and you were back there and like as if you wanted like a more fans. I didn't know. Okay, someone who was once brought on stage to a smoke machine at this at this show, maybe did come to expect that. But maybebe should do Maybe we should do a little segment called are you mad at me? Uh? Or maybe not? I guess we have

to do it at the end. This is this is now a crossover episode. It's it's allowed to say that. At the end. It's about to see what happens over the next hour and a half. And I also just want to say this, Um, I don't have the spatial awareness to like talk to sit into this and talk into this microphone. I feel confused about. Well, this is part of the gig and if you can't handle it, okay, cool, cool, alright, So I think it's probably time. Okay, So I'm just

this is like behind the scenes bts. You're gonna time me. We didn't have time to go over this, you guys, all right, So, um, I didn't know I was running tax Pat also lost his phone in true classic fashion, and it is in the back of his mind. My phone is summer in this building and if you see it, it is an iPhone se which is yes, in between five and six. And well does this I'm gonna go up there? All right? Do I give you? Did I give you warnings? Thank you? Dad? Um? All right? Get

what warnings? Any warnings like seconds? Fifteen seconds and five seconds when there's five seconds left? Not at obviously great? So um perfect. So this is this is a very current event, and I'm very sorry, but I have to attack this one thing. So now you say this is Matt Rodgers. Don't this is Matt Rogers. I don't think, so, honey, your time starts now, I don't think so honey that

thank you? Next video, Yeah, I do remember the movies, bitch I saw them, and all you did was remind me that it's better than the bullshit you put together. Regina didn't have a dark route. You picked the worst scene in thirteen going on thirty. Okay, not the worst, but who cares about that scene? Everyone knows the best scene and thirting going on thirty is say it with me when they dance to thriller. I'm sorry, but what the hell was going on in the Jennifer Coolid scene?

They wrote that that day you had months to prepare. Are you kidding me? And the big tooth? It's a confusion over big Dick. And with the amount of promotion that we had for this, you would have thought this would have been the deep impact of music videos, would have done very well Justine family commercially, and would have made a huge crater in pop culture. But I don't think so. Honey, Thank you next, Take you next? Do you feel this way? I feel this way as you

can tell. All right, So let me just talk to you a little bit about did you watch the video? I haven't seen it yet. I'm definitely kind of a blue collar comedians love a day job, wasn't um? I was at Chalty Pierce at the soccer part us of the kids that I nanny um down to earth, still a hometown girl. And it's not like you can just whip out your phone and watch it, because what if it gets lost. I try to be present. I try to be sent you that, I try to be present

with the kids. Yeah, that's actually probably okay. So now um Pat is going to take the mic and he is going to do a troball. I don't think so, honey, topic you don't. You can leave that here, baby, because there's one up there. What the funk am I dealing with at this moment? All right? So a little bit of background on the trouball. The troupe ball is filled with topics that are very difficult to go negative on. It is a brave, not for the faint of heart

moment to choose something out of the trouball. Past topics have included Julie Andrews, John Benny Ramsey, and Princess Diana. So let's pick one out for my friend Pat Regan, who looks good. Can we talk? He worked out? He worked out two times today, before and after the kids, before and after the kids. I worked out, all right, he's so bashful? All right? Here, I don't think you're gonna know who this is? I bet I won't. What's

so annoying about standing here getting it? Okay, Pat Regan, you're I don't and just tell me if you don't know who this is back in you're I don't think so, honey. Trouble topic is Henry Winkler a k A the fon? Yes, okay, great, here's your honey topic and your time, Pat Regan starts now. I don't think so, honey, Henry Winkler. Like what you're supposed to be, like the comedic voice of your times, you're sucking, lame and not that funny. I don't think so, honey,

Henry Winkler. We saw your button the water Boy, and I didn't want to see it. I never asked you actually but your ass away, Henry Winkler. I don't think so, honey. You're not that hot, you're problematic and happy days. It was rape culture what you are doing, Henry MC. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey, Henry Winkler. Your hair is um. Your your hair isn't that good? I said, and I can tell that you think it is. I don't think so Henryminkler, what have you even been

up to anymore? Like I feel like you just make money for no reason at this point, and that's not fair. Eye Nanni, I don't think so, honey, Henry Winkler. I don't think so, Henry Winkler. You have no star quality and somehow you made a fortune off of having and that's not fair to those us you have star quality. I don't think so, Henry Winkler. I think that you probably like, don't love gay people. I don't think so, honey, Henry Winkler. Five seconds, I don't think so, Henry Winkler.

You are bad. That's one minute. That was Pat Regan's. I don't think so, honey. From the Trouble. Okay, so just quick update on Henry Winkler. He just want an Emmy for being in Barrie. I don't watch that show. And that's okay, all right. I think that's ready to get the show started. Okay, So we have Arbiture really named all these groups. This first group is called shut

Up Susan. Please welcome to the stage in Lockwood. Please welcome to says chess Tom Please, I'm gonna stage carmera Loogala please come on to this stage, Charlie Todd and please not gonna sayge Cody Linquest. Yeah, I love it. Okay. The very first to the mic is Ian Lockwood. Everybody, Okay, Ian, Hello, Hi, Hi, I'm shy, I'm scared. No shy, comedian, comedian. No, I'm actually confident. You're very confident loving the code. Alright, so listen, Okay, are we gonna do the trouble or I don't think

it's a honey prepared topic. I got something to get off my chest, had a feeling that was true. Okay, this is Ian Lockwoods. I don't think so, honey, and his time starts now. I don't think so honey. We work and all coworking spaces honey. No, it's just people buying into bad corporate culture in a way they think is really alternative. But honey, it's not. Also, my we work is full of weird guys. Like I walk into the we work bathroom stall as a guy is exiting, and he goes, I warmed it up for you. I

don't think so, honey. No. Um, Like I see a man having a public meeting in the kitchen, which like no uh, and he responds to a woman's comment with I'm laughing because no, I don't think so, honey. No, My we work is full of weird neon signs that say like you do you and like no bad days. Seconds. But the biggest one is fifteen ft wide truly and I should you not? It says amber is the color of your energy? No five seconds, I don't think so, honey. And that's what law quod taking down we work. And

now to the mic. Everyone welcome. Jess, Hello, Jess, Hi, how is it going? I'm really scared genuinely, No, don't be afraid, and it's this is my terror face, alright, Jess. Is it going to be pre prepared or it's going to be pre prepared? To pre prepared? This is Jess Toime's I don't think one either. Time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Cinderella. Cinderella is the original problematic

white feminist. She learned she yearned to escape servitude, but was willing to get there on the backs of brown mouse women using their free labor. She was like, I need to go to a ball. You can make my dress for free. If you reverse the narrative of cinder Ella, it's about women working in a sweatshop under a seconds and then after they did all that work, she had a fairy godmother the entire time. That's intergenerational privilege, honey. But the fairy godmother didn't help her until she was

an adult. That's exactly how I trust fund works. You cannot fool me. You cannot fool me, honey. And they recreate in real life. Little girls dress up like Cinderella for Halloween, and Odio thing makes those costumes, so I don't take up dress time. Everybody, unbelievable Cinderella take that and there're many iterations. Everyone, they love you. Give it up for carm It go, here we go Carmen. Hello, wow, yes, same, alright,

are we doing a pre prepared in our trouball topic? Um, even though I don't know any celebrities, I'm going to try the trollball. Well let's see. I mean, I did not think Pat Regan would know the fawns. I can't believe you thought that. I didn't know he was in Bowerie. But yes, I knew who he was. Okay, this is great. This person, this this thing is not a celebrity, but there were worldwide known and that thing your trouble. I don't think it's any topic is kangaroos and your time

starts now? I don't think so. Kangaroos going around with your hopping and your big why are your feet so big? And then they angle back the other way like an upside down L seven situation? Ship just regular feed kangaroos, think so, kangaroos, you don't have to deal with regular cargo shorts like the rest of us. You get to just carry your ship on the front of you. Everything so convenient for you, kangaroos. I don't think so. Kangaroos been in Australia. Why aren't you here so I can

hug you drag down? I don't think so, honey, kangaroos. And second, beautiful beautiful brown fur and you're just you punch people in cartoons, but probably not in real life. I've never seen it on YouTube, so it must not be real. I don't think so, honey, kangaroos. It's really done. Kangaroos are shock giving up for Carmen coming to the stage. Welcome Charlie time. Hey, I am loving it. What do

you think? Preselect confidently pset? So this is Charlie Todd's I don't think so, honey, and his time will begin now. I don't think so honey. Just salad. If you think we're just gonna be cool with you guys stopping to chop salads, then you've got another thing coming to you. Okay, all right, I'm not coming back to your store. I'm gonna go to Chopped, I'm gonna go to Hale and Hardy Soups. I'm gonna go anywhere that chops a fucking salad. You have one job and it's just salad, and people

want their fucking child salad shopped. All right, I'm not gonna be I'm I'm not gonna bitch about you guys having great I'm not gonna bitch about you guys having wraps, you guys having smoothies and a lot of things that aren't just salad. That's fine, I'll let that slide. I'm a fan. I've been a fan for five years. I bought my orange bowl five years ago. I up, I get my two choppins or maybe one free cheese, and

I'm a happy customer. But don't you dare tell me that it's better for me if you don't chop salads because it's faster. Oh, thank you so much for spending less time on my salad. I don't think so, honey. Yes, it's true. It's true. Pad. There are not just salads there, They're not just salids. And I think that it's I think that this is true. I know my words, I know my heart. I don't know my words. I think that is true that a rat was found in a

just salid. Rob Really, I don't know if that's true. Upset. I'm gonna let you guys work it out later, and for now, please welcome Cody Linn quest Hi him. Also, my mom's name is Susan, so this is a very perfect Yes. I'm constantly saying to my mom like, stop it. Yeah, I should have called it. Stopped it, Susan, because shut up with me. And no, that's more what Charlie, my husband will say to my mom. Oh now, now the family dynamic is spicy. No, he's nicer to her than

I am. Okay, alright, so Cody talk to me about this. We have a trollable here, and we also have you know, probably a mindful of oh my god, oh my god. It's a it's a snap decision and I'm gonna do pre prepared, prepared. I love it. This is Cody Linquist. I don't think so, honey, and her time starts now. I don't think so. Male movie stars being in movies with women that are twenty five years younger than them. Yes, I'm sorry, honey. I get it. You're fucking hot, but

you have fifty and if you have fifty, you have grandpa. Okay. If there is a five year old woman in the real world who is dating a fifty year old man, that is the only fucking thing that we talk about. Okay, so much goddamn money that we all go that makes sense, Okay, because you know what, if he's fifty and he's just magically single because he hasn't met the right woman, like, no fucking way, he got issues. Yes, okay, man, that man has a fucking problem with every woman you've ever seen.

And there's not some dumbass twenty five year old who's gonna come around and change his life for the better. So thank you, and you know what, fuck you, because it makes every goddamn fifty year old man think that it's okay to leave his wife because he thinks I he's gonna get that twenty five year old woman. How many people have a goddamn dad who has left their mom because he thinks he's gonna go out with Anne

Hathaway Like I do not fucking think so, honey. My husband, My husband is a year older than me the way God fucking intended. And that's one minute given up for this group. Shut up, Susan in Luckwood. Just Tom, Charlie Todd and Tony link Wist. Unbelievable. Oh my god, I think Hollywood just healed a little bit. I think Hollywood is now gonna change. I'm so excited. And you know what. We are awaiting the storm. We're waiting the storm. And we actually have a rule of culture. It's rule of

culture number. If you're fifty, your grandpa write it down, Kelly Joe, Yes, honey, I see you girl. All right, everyone give it up for our next group, and it's called say it with me, Pat Gorgeous Delights. Everyone. Welcome, Griffin Leads, Welcome, Lisa Kleinman, Welcome, Casey Dost, Welcome, Amanda Jobby, and welcome Becky Broom. This is the dance I do when I feel the energy, when I'm engaged. I raised the roof. Yeah, have you seen that Pat Regan has

brought back raising the roof? Can everyone raise the roof? Yeah? It's four okay, cool? Everyone, please welcome up to the mic. Griffin lead jumpsuit a jumpsuit moment. It's a fake jumpsuit? Is it really? You're telling me that thing is two pieces? It's two pieces? The bathroom. Yeah, I'm practical, and speak about the sash. Speak about the sash. Listen, someone else dressed me. I can't speak. I love that he's got someone else to dress him. That's the rule of culture

number four. Get someone else to dress you, all right, Griffin, So talk to me. Are we gonna do a pre prepared topic or there's a trouble here? And I'm just saying it's here, there is a trouble. I haven't really done short from improv since college, so I'm gonna stayed. Its important, it's important. Short forms important. It's important. But

I've been culture nu short form. It is important. It is um But no, I've been a fan of the pods, so I've I've had I've had some topics and so I hear I think we're gonna do pre selected This is Griffin Leeds is. I don't think so, honey. Starts now, I don't think so, Honey. Those straight girls from high school who suddenly gave a ship about me one word

to go out that I was gay in college? You think I didn't know what was going on winter break sophomore year, when I start getting all these friend requests from want to be Lena Donhams. It's the social media equivalent. And when you have a group of people clearly talking about because they all turn and look at you at the same time, Listen, I am not some object to be collected, stuffed and mounted above a fireplace. I'm a human being to be mounted, then stuffed, buy a fireplace.

Thank you. I could have been an ally to you, because you know what I could have told you all the times I cacked your boyfriends in the school bathroom not washing their hands. They're going the hallway and touching your hands gross fifteen seconds the tea. You know, my true friends, they knew early on, and when I did come out to those true friends, they thought I was working with him. Because my true friends, you know that

first and foremost, I'm a tricky little jokester. Second, second, I'm a mother and third, I'm a fact who doesn't think so very good different using Lenora. What did you say using Lena, Dona Pejora, of losing Lena using Lena. You know, that's just that's a discussion to be had, that it's gonna have it right now, trying to say talk to me after. Yeah, no, we're really down to talk about this, all right, everyone, please welcome to them.

Like Lisa's man in a pattern, pant so much, long time listener, first time calling, and it's time to call out. Now talk to me about the bull versus the pre prepared topic. I love that. I love that journey go forth on it. I love that for her, love for her alright, so at least the kind. I don't think any topic is pre prepared and her time will begin now. I don't think so, Honey, Harry Potter, I am so sorry, but I cannot believe a story about British teenagers that

were Catholic school uniforms does not make me horny. But that is the magic I guess of Harry Potter. I am sorry, I am adult, and I don't need to read a glorified picture book about people that don't fuck and do drugs talking about butter beer and I don't think so, honey. J K. A Rowlling, we get it. You lived in your car, but you know what's did Jewel?

And I would rather listen to Pisa then fucking a story about a version that bumped his head and play sports in the air and Broadway broad choose, I can hard play like you're fucking angels in America and you are not angels in America and j K rattling, you are not Tony Kushner. Wow, Wow, I had Wow. That was Lisa Climate and she didn't have me. He didn't have me. And then she said Jewel and she had me. You know what, it's actually rule of culture number fifteen,

So did Jeel. Thank you Lisa, and now welcome to the Mike Casey Jewels. It's Casey. Everybody, please give it up for your fantastic hosts. Oh my god, you guys. I love you. Um straight male appearance which I celebrate, straight man a straight man some say, some say, and did very well in the straight pageant which I just held. Thank you. Next one, Janu, please, I heard that announcement right here and the amount of growth I saw in pageant. He grew from when he started the pageant to when

he finished the pageant. He was still straight by the end, but he was but he had grown, but he had grown as a straight. It's a real spectrum. So absolutely, it's a spectrum. And that's actually real culture number three, it's a sectrum. Um, So casey um listen, Yeah, celebrated improviser. I mean, we have, of course the option to do the troll. I will say that no one's ever celebrated improv. But we just said short form was important. We haven't

even gotten to long form. You're right, that was maybe the first time ever that in short form Memba celib I have prepared. I mean, is that okay? It it's interesting that I'm following Lisa my my my actual wife, Lucky man. Oh yes, I almost just said proposed to her. They're married. But it's interesting that I'm following her because she was so articulate and intelligent and well, let's see what happens here. Here we go, this is Casey Joe's

I don't think so honey. As time starts now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I don't think so honey. Books I hate books. Books suck. Why are books so long. Make books shorter. Yes, infinite jest more like infinite, that's how long it takes you to read it. Warren peace more like Warren Peace out. I'm not reading you four more like nine eighty four, which brings you to my point. Books are boring. Every time I start to read a book, I immediately want to do something else. I think to myself,

I'd rather be painting. Am I a painter? No? Do I paint? Hell? No, that's how much I hate books. I'd rather paint. Next, it takes so much work with your hands. Self explanatory. Next, the good books don't have pictures, and the bad ones too. That's ridiculous. Guns ahead. If I have to pick a favorite book which is a hilarious scenario, I pick Go Dog Go that describes the actions and interactions of a group of highly motivated dogs who operate cars and other conveyances in pursuit of work,

play and a final mysterious goal, a dog party. That's a good book. And that's one minute. Wow. Wow. The Kleineman Jos are not readers. No, and I famously only ever read nine books in my owl. Yeah, besh, you in it now? It was a phone the whole. Their kids are getting screen time, yes, which is huge for kids. That was amazing. Everyone up. Give it up for Amanda Job. Oh my god, darling, this is a thrill. Yes, move

it out of the way. I can't have it in my way of my When an icon steps forth, appreciate culture. That's a culture number nine. When an icon steps for you appreciate. You know, if Leanne Rhymes were to walk into the room right now, we would appreciate it, maybe and rhyme, Yeah, Liann, just say I see her, I see her, my girl after my most said night, Oh my god, I mean and so listen, there's um you know, famously, there's the trouble prepared. Yes, I have a pre prepared

because it's serious. So let's do this. Okay, here's Amanda's UM. I don't think so, honey, and her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. The United States of America, a country with a problematic start, built by immigrants and founded on unalienable rights, which is now consumed by hatred and exclusivity, not to mention supporting a nation that is

facilitating the greatest humanitarian crisis of all time. So I don't think So, honey, I'd like to make a list of the states that I believe can be doing a better job. Okay, Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Canada,

cat Delaware, Florida, Georgia. How I can just Kentucky, Louisa, Animated, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Massora, Mantanna, Nebraska, New hampt New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Hi, Oklahoma, Horgan, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Towna, sat Texas, Virjunior, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, hen Wi. Man, thank you very much, man, And let

me tell you something that was all the states. So I think what she's saying is we all could do a better job. That seemed to be the message. That seemed to be the message. You've gotta think when you come here, be prepared to think. Okay, So who's next year? Okay, it's Becky bro Oh wow, what do we think? Are you? Well? I was gonna do Bull, then I was gonna do pre Now I'm gonna do Bull. Just told to tell us all this time at this show us Bull Okay,

here we go. This will be coming up soon, this event. Okay, we'll have to tell you if I don't know what it is, well, I think you know. I don't think so, honey. Topic from the troll bull Becky Abrahams the golden globes shorts. Now, I actually don't think so. Golden clothes. What do you think you are? The oscars incorrect? Are you the I don't know. Wait a minute, it's golden gulds part of egot Remind me, remind me knowing that I don't think so you better read think golden gloves. Then they get

like good gut and it's not that. Yeah. I liked it when two female comedians hosted it, and then some reason I went away last time. I'm not sure why. Maybe some rethinking is in order. Not sure, sweetheart, but do think again? Did last name making your raised? Well? The office in England was so amazing. That's why everyone on bumble is talking about the British office site. That's why five seconds five seconds, golden gloves were like golden boobs.

I don't think so, honey, But that's what great golden gloves are not and that is why I don't think so golden gloves. Becky Abrams capping off the gore. Just a light group, give it up for Griffin leads, Lisa Kleinman, Casey jose A man of Jobby and bye bye back. I love you. I missed them. I miss them too. I wish that Casey didn't miss them. I miss you, guys. That was so good. What I would say is, even if I'm already married, if I'm ever on stage with

my husband, yes, I'm going to propose again. Yeah, and it's going to be beautiful because I want them to know I still care exactly. And also I want uproarious applause yeah, from those around me, from those in front of me, from those to the side of me, even even even over there. I'm just saying, we're not opposed to seeing a proposal tonight. All of a sudden, We're like Chris whatever, who Chris Harris? And actually I don't

know if that's true. And actually, what I will say as a guest host is I will guarantee that there will be a proposal by the end of the night. It will be a proposal, you know. Bow. With the year wrapping up, it's a time to put a bow. If you will. Oh my god, was that intentional word play?

You know what bowen it was? And it's because I'm really literally trying to get at something right now, which is that if you're doing your holiday shopping and you want to pick out a new outfit for that special someone who needs a new them, you gotta go to Modcloth. Mod Cloth is your go to. I love Moncloth so much. You can transition from layered looks two looks you can wear as the weather warms up. And if you're jonesing for a getaway, Modcloth has a collection of amazing swim

were suited just for you. I love that suited. Yeah, So hit the site and discover something uniquely you. Oh my god. Moncloth is truly the best. Yeah yeah, I mean, if you want to start with the new year with a clean slate, here's the thing. It's going to be cold soon. And I went on there and I was looking for a gift from my mom and they I just got heard of the real cutest code. I hope she doesn't listen to this because I don't want her

surprise to be ruined. But this is the time, you guys, where you have to start like looking for stuff and they have really amazing including for all different body types as well, which is what I really like. I mean, everything looks very comfortable, and so you know, you know, Katrina Roger show us to be comfortable. She loves to be comfortable. Now, I went on Moncloth and I bought this gorgeous knit dress for the cold weather. It's so cute,

it's so gorgeous. I'm not going to reveal who it's for when you dare reveal because because the thing, here's the thing, anyone could be listening to this podcast famously, you know, available to everyone. You are just free. That's it's it's the it's the blessing and the curse of Podca. Anyway, I love. I can't wait for my recipient to receive this and for them to just really take in the

gorgeous quality and style of Moncloth. You could wear this look when you're going to see what the famous Rockefeller Christmas tree. That's true. Now here's what you're gonna do. To get off your purchase of one hundred dollars or more. Go to moncloth dot com that's m O D C l O t H dot com and enter code ding dong at checkout Yeah. This is valid for one time use only and it expires on March nineteen. So one more time, m O d C l O t H dot com and enter the code ding dong at check

out olo. Okay, so this next group, Wow, I guess this is a perfect lead into this group, which is called Drama Tonight. Please welcome, Julia Claire, please welcome, Michael, please welcome, Margaret does please welcome, and and please welcome Gena Bloom huge Hello everyone. Okay, so I guess the very first to them like is MS Julia Claire. Everyone, get that up. I said, this is the sweater of my dreams. I do feel like tonight was the wrong

time to wear a turtleneck. Who I found out when I got here, And everyone's like showing their tits and I am just here not showing my neck. It's it's actually rule of culture number eight. Not everyone can show their tits we need. It's like a logistical nightmare. Yeah for sure. Alright, so listen, I think it added a new perspective to the night. Oh thank you. I'm I'm pretty countercultural and we and we love that. And listen, speaking of culture, yes, we actually happened to be here

doing I don't think so, honey. And so there's two things that you could do given given your choice. It's two things that you could do give in your choice. I don't know wears that git on my heart. Okay, so listen, we have the trouble, we also have a beautiful brain. It will be pre selected. I love it. This is Julia Claire's I don't think so, honey. It's a pre selected topic kind of night and her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. People who can sing.

I know you've had eight years of lessons and win to tish, but no one needs to hear your hauntingly beautiful version of Madonna's like a prayer. You're ruining karaoke, Honey. We can all hear you harmonizing during the Happy Birthday song. You're committing war crimes. Honey. You have a beautiful natural talent that I will possess, and frankly, I'm embarrassed for you, Honey, deconds. See. Also,

I don't think so. White people who can dance, Honey, you're throwing off the graining curve for the rest of us. If you're a white person who can dance, that is cultural raser of me, only Julia clear, everybody that needed to be that needed to be said. Do you feel you feel this way? He feels that certain type of way. Al Right, everyone, please welcome Michael Deliah. I love a sweatshirt over them the moment, the moment. What are we calling it a flannel? What is it? I'm just saying,

I'm admiring the look. I love a sweatshirt over a button. I just think a tasteful crew neck. I'm sorry, thank you, thank you. We love everything about you. It's a short sleeve shirt, is it? Yeah? Okay, your secret save with us. That's a very phone on a clipboard thing to do. Listen, you shouldn't say that for a reveal at thirty seconds like it was. You know it was a short sleeve. Um, but listen, we can do pre selected or Michael, we could do the troll ball. Uh let's do the bowl. Okay.

I love you doing the bowl? Alright, So here we go. Okay, topical as well? You think, pat um, I think it's topical. My barometer is topical. Okay, so Michael, you're I don't think so, honey. Troll ball. Topic is Christmas music and your time starts now. Okay, I don't think so honey, Christmas music. What the hell? I'm actually I'm really fucking pissed right now because I've heard a lot of Christmas

music already. And yeah, there are a couple of good ones, but you know, it's not a one the Paul McCartney one, Oh Heart. Agree that one sucks. That one has so much synth that in it he should change his name to synth McCartney. Think so honey, um, there's so many other songs. There's a song about rein deer. Oh yeah, that's bad. There's too many rain deer. I don't think so honey rain deer in songs. The one song and

then they're done. I don't think so honey, um. Christmas music is um some of it and some of it actually is really good though seconds. Some of it actually is really good. It makes me feel good, especially like when it's sad and it's snowing. It does make me feel good. But also I don't think so honey to it as well? Any you know, I love that to give it up for Michael Delisle. You know I like that Mariah carry tune. I did I like at tune. I recently was in an uber with my entire immediate family.

Yes and um on the radio as an Adina Menzel Michael Goo Boo bleat version of baby It's cold outside. And I was like, is this helpful? Did we need it? Because I didn't know they did it? And no one of my family would answer me. Um, And that's you asked the question out loud, is this helpful? I was like, I didn't know they made this? Did we need this?

And I know I answered, I just kept saying that, um, and next to them, like everyone please well on the phenomenal Margaret Dodge, I said in the email, kindly turn a look and this is what we have. You are welcome, Margaret Sunning. Unbelievable. So listen, Margaret, It's an honor and a privilege to have you. What do we think about the choice before you troll ball or pre prepared? I have something to get off my chest, So I'm gonna preselect.

I'm gonna preselect Margaret with her I don't think so honey and her time starts Bradley Cooper's Ripped Abs and A star is boy think so A? You really want me to take you seriously as a director, you had to show your body in the movie. Let me ask you this was this your directorial debut or was this an audition for the next Magic Mike? Uh? Yeah, so, um, you could have made a brave choice. And I don't know, not showing your body, but the actor Bradley Cooper just

had to get in a subliminal ad for cross fit. Listen, those are not the the abs of a forties something alcoholic entertainer. I should know because I have dated's been a forty something alcoholic entertainer. One minute, Bradley, Bradley, what happened Jackson Maine? More like Jackson Vain? That thinks? And Margaretage agreed absolutely or maybe I don't know, eat a couple of bags of chips. I thought his stomach was an important part of the film. It was, It was

not the part I had notes about. And as someone who is bravely in my cover, I will say there are people who managed to like beyond math and also have truly poorn caliber bodies. And I don't know how they do it, but um, it is possible. And with that, Andrew Buffa takas the hat, the hat, the hat, you can tell I have a mes body clearly, here we go. So let me tell you, Andrew, Yes, there is a choice.

There's the trouball, and there's the pre pre selected. I think it's my first time first time, or everyone on stage tonight first time, or I'm gonna go pre select selected. So Andrew your I don't think so, honey. Time it will begin right now. I don't think so, honey. Social media stories, Um, calm down, James Joyce. I don't need to see what you ate for lunch today. I have a dancer friend who will post fourteen stories of him lip sinking to Ariana Grande. We get it. Queen you

have abs, we get it. Queen, you look good in a job strap. Thank so, honey. Listen, Kurt Vonna Gut. I don't need you posting snaps of you on the stage of SNL with Aquafina, Miss Bowen Yang. Listen. J k Rowling. I don't need you posting snaps and stories of you with a bad hair day Rogers. You're gay and white. You're perfect. And that's one minute and your Bama talk is everybody, and now to the mic. Please get ready for China Bloom. Let's go. Whoa jacket Central?

I love thank you, thank you, my gosh. Okay, I'm very excited. So what are we thinking here? I have a lot of bitch about the bitch about it. I am doing pre prepared, pre prepared, Gina bloom your I don't think so, honey, time will begin now. I don't think so, honey, Big Little Lies season two. Let's just say I'm a little bit skeptical. Okay, I'm a little

bit skeptical. It's like getting that second picture mimosas that brunch sounds like a good idea, but the next thing, you know, you and Kyle are enough fight, neither one of you can understand, and the experience is fucking ruined. From now on, I don't think so, honey. Have we learned nothing from literally the second season of every Ryan Murphy show? Have we not? By the way, watched postseason two.

Trans Representation is very important. I promise you'll be flaming hot dogshit watch it anyway, because that's how it works out. But back to the topic at hand, hbo, it's next Sharper objects five seconds. Oh look, Amy Adam's sister is fucking hitler this time. I don't think so, honey. Good night, Boom, give it up for drama Tonight. Julia Claire, Michael Dulo, Margaretage, Andrew Paper, Takas and Boom. Thank you. Oh wow, that

was an electric group. Oh I think we're okay. I would actually have a water if you can kind of get your hands on a diet coke. Thank you so much. Just kind of work your imagine. It's a true alley right there asking us if we need a drink, and it was Casey Joson. I just want to say that for the record, no one else here tonight has tried to buy music. And it's that little ship that you have no idea a little how much that meant to us. It's that little ship. It's that little ship that can

change your whole fucking day. It's actually rule of culture number it's that little ship that can change your whole fucking day. Arounds. Okay, wow, this is crazy. Another insane segue. Oh my god. That's so they're so hard to come by, and it we've come by a couple of tonight and they're like, it's almost as that there are natural resources or something. Alright, So this because of the sharp popics mentioned before, that's what makes us good. This next group

is called and starring Amy Adams as Amy so stupid. Okay, everyone, welcome Megan Meadows, oh, Jenny, Rachel Winer, Welcome Hallie Kaiper, Welcome Les Archery, and welcome to the stage. Rachel said, do we have everyone? Megan Meadows is not here? Cool? Well, guess what she's here in spear. Maybe she's with Bowen somewhere. Maybe it's wow. Maybe maybe if Leon Rhymes were like to come up, she's made of what? Yes? Are you team Brandy or Lean? And only answer if you feel safe? Brandy? Cool? Cool.

I wasn't until Celebrity Big Brother, but that's not what we're here at Virgin And I have to say I'm happy that Leon and Brandy aren't here because I am not trying to see a fight. Al Right, can we get going? All right? This is supposed to be Megan, but everyone, please welcome to the States. The Glory of my Heart, Jenny Rachel Whider, Okay, the Glory of my heart, Evenny, I don't know where I get off wearing fur and

a Calvin Klein jump suit. Okay, I I really, I mean it's a it's not a jumpsuit, it's a it's a it's one piece one. I love it though, and I'll tell you exactly where you get off. I don't think. I don't think the honey live I am. I'm I'm giving you kim Kay vibe. You need that vibe at every show, all right, listen. So we have the trouble, and then we of course have pre selected. So what's up. Okay, here's the dail of you guys, talk us through it. I'm doing trouble like a true psycho, like a true

psycho path. So here we go, Jenny, here we go. Okay, you're I don't think so, honey, trouball topic is going to the movies. I don't. It's so, honey, going to the movies. What do you think I want to get off my fucking couch? Honey? I have Netflix, I have Hulu, I have Amazon Prime, and baby, do you think I want to go through the movie? Then pay fifteen fucking dollars for a ticket, I'm sorry, eighteen dollars at some places, and thirty motherfucking dollars at I picks. Okay, honey, eye picks.

You can lay down, you can have a waiter, but it's thirty dollars. I'll say, on my couch. Thank you, honey. Okay, I don't think so, honey. Going to the movies, Okay, I want to watch TV. All right, TV isn't its prime. We are in the Golden Age. I don't need to go to the movies to have a good time. Also, am I trying to get fingered in the back like in high school? Maybe? Maybe I don't think so, honey, to the movies alright, btch one minute, Thank you, Jenny

Rachel Honor. Wow, Wow, you owe me nine dollars? Were always all the Favorite agreed to? Would inventymuch charge me. I'm not saying you haven't pay me back. I'm just saying it's fucking crazy. He us me nineteen dollars when we saw The Favorite square, what is this an adoption? Like? It's like I better be getting fingered in the back and we're past that. So I famously did not finger him. We saw The Favorite. I left the movie theater bravely unfingered.

You also bravely used your phone on full brightness. Okay several times. I'm so sorry to stop this, but I I want to publicly say he in a packed packed honey theater full brightness texting. Okay, and I think I want to tell you firstly, I would never ever do that to you, And I want to say secondly, I can't. I can't figure out how to get my phone, not on pop artness. And let me tell you something. If we ever find the phone, and please everyone look under

your seats. It is not a safe stake. You need to give it back to me. We gotta go. Everyone, please welcome Helly Caper to them up. Yes, you are you good? I didn't have a look, but I did have loft. Anyway, this is a fool. Look what are you talking about? You know? It's like you wear to the office. You wear a dress your life and this is the office. If this isn't a look, I'll eat my hat. Oh my god, just shrieked something. You're a star, says the audience. Everyone. Yes, Hallie, I feel better that

I have notes. All right, okay, here we go. Listen. I have a note, and it's we have to say, are we picking out one of these notes? No? I have notes, and I have thought that I have pre prepared, pre prepared. I love that. And here's Hallie keeper's pre prepared. I don't think so. I don't think so, honey. Adam McKay's upcoming Dick Cheney biopic Vice, starring Christian Bale. I don't need a dramatic reenactment of something that happen been nine years ago. Honey. We all lived through two terms

of Dick Cheney. Okay. I don't need someone to uncover he's in citious genius. I was there, honey, uh were actually, Holly, But like, if you think about it, like it's only by exploring histories villains as truly understand them. Yeah, sure things, sweetie. That's like when the Big short one for Best Screenplay and then the vps of all the banks went to prison. Okay, I don't think so, honey, I don't think so. Panthering movies about recent history that make people think that they're

actually doing something, Okay. And if you're going to pant or, you can go ahead and be a Condoleeza movie. Okay, that's Adam McKay. If we're like Adam, Okay, hollyber And I have to tell you what I saw a Vice, and it's it's good and advice is good, and also Conda Lisa is in it. But they don't make a big deal about it. I'm like, you gotta make a big deal about Conda Lisa. What do you say that. I would say, rule of culture number five two. I agree,

Rule coachure number one hundred seventy two. You gotta make a big deal about Conda Lisa. And this is for the straits and the audience. She might coach an NFL team, Wait a coach, Yeah, she might like coach like you might see her on the field like this, oh my god, but like a headset and then whisper something to the other coach like this podcast or offgual media might just been a really good impression of a coach. I love that act out. I love that act out. The sound

of tooth brush goes buzz buzz buzz. Khalee Matzi make them good. That is just a little song about brushing teeth. What do you think of that? Bo I loved it. And not only was it a song, it was a Christmas carol for the holiday season. The thing was it was wheels on the bus, right, But then I think, because it's about a buzzy toothbrush, the buzziest gift to this season, it is a holiday a carol. Oh, it's a holiday carol. All right, you know what I'm saying.

You know, wheels on the bus. It's reminiscent of many holidays. Absolutely, And had someone told me that was um, you know, ding dong in the bells in the halls or whatever, it would have believed them. But it's as good as ding dong in the bells in the halls. Matt. Here's the thing. There was a buzzy gift on everyone's list this year. Of course, that's that's I guess the reason for all the buzz humor. Yes, it's something we'll use twice every day, and it was featured on Oprah's Oh List,

and it's perfect for everyone with a mouth. Yeah, making a list, brushing them twice? How about that? How about you think about that? And you know, let's just let's just get to it. This gift that we're talking about is Quip, the electric toothbruast designed to make brushing beta and Quip makes holiday travels clean and easy with a multi use cover that mounts to mirrors and unmounts to slide over the bristles for on the go brushing. Then

you know all about their sensitive sonic vibrations. Gentle enough on your little sensitive gums, and there's a built in timer with guiding pulses to remind you went to switch sides. You know all about Equip at this point. If you're a last cultureman or even a podcast man in general, you know all about Quip. Oh baby, we love Quip. We've loved them for over a year now. Yeah. You often will just start conversations not with hello, but with

I love quick. I'll say I love Quip. I love that they're one of the first electric toothbrushes accepted by the American Dental Association and have thousands of verified five star reviews. I love that. And you know what, I you know what actually is a controversial thing. What I said to you, Merry Christmas, and you said, I love Quip. And you know what, they don't say Mary Christmas anymore in America. You're right, that's the war on Christmas is We're losing it. But we love Quip so much and

they have over five thousand verified five star reviews. And you know, Quip looks like a big ticket tech gift with the stocking stuff for price starting at just twenty five dollars. And if you go to get Quip dot com forward slash ding dong. Right now you get your first refill pack for free with a quip electric toothbrush. But you don't have to tell your gift you that

don't tell that. We have a little mystery and that's your first refil pack free at g E T q U I P dot com slash ding dong d I n G d O n G. You better get going and dick your teeth and here we go and welcome. Let's accurate to the mare. And I see in the mirror when I look in it. Thank you. They want to be ins, Oh great, I want you to be my pants. Oh okay, but we can work it out. It's a one piece, thank you. These are men's shoes because I wear a size twelve and a half in women.

And I love you now, Liz. We have, of course, two options. We have the trouble. We do have pre prepared. What's your deal? I'm going to be pre prepared. I love it. Here comes Liz, Here comes her. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now in honor of Mickey Mouse's ninetieth birthday this month, I don't think so, honey. Disney quest niche thing disney Quest. You billy yourself has an adjacent VR experience to the Disney World parks in Orlando.

I don't bitch, you are a You promise that the magic will continue once you leave the parks for the day. You know what I have news for you, honey, The magic comes to a three ching fucking hall. Ok. Hey, you you promised that you're gonna be this beautiful. You get to ride a Laddin's Magic carpet that was built, motherfucker, and it's not been updated. You are a dilapidated arcade and town Disney. You're nothing more than a soda stained,

over priced David Busters. Bitchy, Hey, Disney Quest, are you a guy? I'm fucking because I'm tired of pretending to like video games to feel close to you. Y'ah. No, No, she's right. Disney Quest is not the fifth theme park. Bitch what it's torn down? Right? It's not? It is, it's not. They're good. Make room for the big gass chilies or something. I love Chili's. Wait, I love Chill Culture number nine. I love Chili's. Okay, gird your loins, everybody,

and welcome Rachel. Send hello, Rachel, My god, I'm so excited to be here. The material on my shirt is aggravating my backs it but other than that, I am amazing o my god. And with that, what are we thinking? Prepared? Pre prepared me, Rachel Simmons, pre prepared I don't think so, honey. Topic begins now, I don't think so, honey. Girls who post dead birds on Instagram? No way. Okay, you are compensating for not having a personality. First of all, I'm confused.

Do you like animals or not? I don't know. I don't know. Second of all, are you trying to prove to me that you're sad? Because if you were sad, you wouldn't see the dead birds because your eyes would be filled with tears. Yes. Also, these girls, they're not just person dead birds, okay, they're posting dead rats, other dead animals. Like you can't identify pictures of trash? What is going on? These things I see on the street, I look away. I don't want to see them. Okay,

So why are you attacking me in another medium? I should feel safe on my phone. That is the only place I should feel safe. I don't a dead bird, a dead rat, dead pizzash. Okay, I don't think. Don't any girls post dead birds on Instagram A great co sign grey. Oh my god, I would never look at a dead thing. I wouldn't look at I would never ever everyone given up for this group and starring Amy Adams as Amy. We have Jenny Ritchel Winer like Gaber,

Liz Archery and Rachel said it. Goodbye fabulous girls by guys. All right, now here's the thing, speaking of the film that we saw together as a platonic come this is the other Segway. I'm gonna freak out. You're about to freak out because this next group is called the Favorites with you. Please welcome Miles Robbins, Please welcome Shedswanathan, Please welcome Ali Cobert, Please welcome Christina Hudginson, Please welcome Melinda

tab And, please welcome Courtney Soliday. We are all here together. Now here we go, Miles Robbins to the mic, Please police hello. Why wasn't any circus in the EMERGI movie? Wasn't the Way movie and circus? Why wasn't he in the Emogi movie? Why wasn't he? I don't know, what is it my bit? I'm just asking. I mean, I guess he should be in any movie where they need someone to act out things that move around. He's very good at it. Yeah, wait, who I miss Andy Circus?

Do you know Andy? Don't know that person. He's the cartoon man. He's the cartoon man. So basically what he does is he will act and then from his acting they create like King Kong. Oh. I don't like that as a job. He doesn't be a job. I think that. I think that the people should just draw what they want to draw. You don't like it when they put like dots on. So we tell Donna and then all of a sudden, there's avatar. I'm gonna make a bolt

choice that I don't like that. Okay, So I think we haven't we haven't answer to your question, and that's lasts welcome alright, So listen, are we gonna do a pre sleight the topic or do you have an idea about the show? I have notes, you know, and I don't have any short term memory. Okay, perfectly, so you're going to read them. But I like that. There's a printer at my mother's house. Okay, brag where I live, brag brag again around so I have a pre select

pre selected This is Miles Robbins pre selected. I don't think so, honey, And because time we'll begin now. I don't think so honey. Carbon footprint shame. Yeah, I don't like global warming, but there's no way that I am accepting responsibility. Okay. I am one little worm with a television. Best Buy has a hundred televisions and they're playing Sports Center all day every day. Okay. I will not feel bad about flying to California to visit my dad while

the NFL flies military jets over their stadiums. Just their fans can come for the national anthem. Yeah, okay. Brushing my teeth in the shower to conserve water will not do much when there are golf courses and fucking Arizona. Riding my bike to save gas doesn't do ship. While NASCAR exists, I don't think so honey. Nascar. We do not need NASCAR. Only people in Florida like NASCAR and fuck Florida while I'm here. I don't think so, honey. Florida, if you want to come sucking elections, you can at

least get erect. You have flaccid schmeg behavior of the state. Florida's best asset is that it is a place where art Basel goes to score coke. I once tried googling best artists in Florida and auto corrected to arsonists. Okay, I guess the good news is that it will be underwater soon. Anyway, thank you very much. I don't think so, honey, I don't think son. Wow, very good. It's actually a rule of culture a number ninety. I once googled best artists in Florida and an auto corrected to arsenists. I

really enjoy that. Alright, everyone welcome, jem want to them. Hello, Geraldine, how are you doing? And how are you feeling about the trouble? Like everything going and everything on the proposal, it's a prey for me. It selected and here she goes, here's Geraldine's I don't think so honey. Time now, I don't think so honey. Babies, UM, I'm sorry if there are any like babies in the audience tonight. But um, every time I hang out with a baby, we have

nothing to talk about and it's super awkward. Um, it's actually really bad, like like of babies don't work, umly don't have jobs, and like the one percent of models and actors and like that's basic as fuck, Like get a real job, babies, um, and like don't talk to me unless your baby is mixed serious um. And I'm not saying that because like I'm mixed serious. I was actually like never a baby, um. And I think that's

why I can't relate Umi. The The only baby that I am here for is gay icon baby Prince George. I am anti baby red prow Prince George. I'm a royalist, Yes, Queen is a Royalist. Wow. I love that. I love that baby George, and I also would love that he's a gay kind. And I also think that Generaldine kind of maybe offered some in's both for a new Lost Culture March, which would be it's a pre for me. It's a pre for me. Thank you for that merch. I will make money off of that, all right, everyone, please,

Well I'm a very excited time. Ali Colbert here tonight. What's up? Hi? Hi? Hi? How are you feeling? And it's exciting to have an Alley on the stage, Ali, because I love an Alley in film and I love Ali on the stage, thank you so much. And I love an Alley on stage in the film. I love that too. Yeah, and we are, Yes, exactly, that's what we're going. Can I say similarly to help Bradley Cooper shot the film, we're behind you and now we can see the perspective of the audience, and that's why we're

both going to show ours to the entire far tonight. Perfect. Okay, so listen, are we doing a pre selected topic or the trouble we're gonna do pre I love that it's a free for me, Ali Colbert, here you go. Your time begins now. I don't think so, honey. People wanting to date people who have nice families like I'm going to do with my family. I don't want to deal with another family, you know what I mean? Like, the best person to date is someone whose entire family has

died in a car crash. Listen to me, find yourself a sexy and capable orphan. They are single, they're available, they are free mother in law's. I don't think so, honey. I have a mother. I'm not looking for another one. I don't want to spend the holidays with someone else's family. I don't want to talk to my boring ass uncle. Why would I want to talk to yours? Thanksgiving with your family? When my mom is at home serving her stuffing and her mashed potatoes to the people who raised me.

I don't think so, honey, that's all I have. Honey, I agree. And I once met this really hot guy who as an orphan and it was the hottest thing I ever heard in my life. It was like wrestling around the foster care system as a youth. And now he's like succeeding, I think, and at least being really hot. Yeah, that's good. At least at least that al right, everyone, I think about him all the time. I think about him all the time. Please welcome a true icon. Christina

Hogs into the bag. Hello, Hi, hi, oh man, oh, here we go, Here we go fishing. Oh she's mad. I think that's pre selected. I got a pre selected topic, and I'm really going to try to get in every word that I wrote. I am like excited. Here we go, Christina. You know, I don't think so many time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Tampon commercials as someone who was actively bleeding right this very second, tampon commercials can suck my fucking clips. They're all like, what's the day

like on your period? And then they cut to a shot of a girl in a white bikini to the limbo at a pool party, with a smile on her face as if she's smoking a blunt, riding a sippi, and on the deck of her fucking summer home. Fuck you, honey, what's it like when I'm on my period? I'm gross, I'm angry, I'm bloating in the true irony of all this is. I'm the horny as I will ever be. Oh goddamn month, I am hornier than a fifteen year old straight boy sitting in between two pairs of titties

of the Playboy fucking mansion. I'm not running through a park walking my ships in a white pair of jeans. Every sneeze is a gamble. Every cough is a lightning bolt of fear that I'm gonna go full and carry in my underwear. While I'm standing in line to the grocery store, I'm starting a baby bump full of angry air. And I got Ben and Jerry's in one hand and a tatchy magic wand on the other hand, and I want to punch everyone in a fucking face that they're

on their feet. They're on their feet. Christina Hutchinson. Wow, I haven't earned noble. I haven't heard the term sibian, and along, I haven't heard the term cibian. Do more with sibian. We need to do more recipiens. Everyone write that down, getting your little notebook? Cool? All right, everyone, Melinda tab is coming to the bag. Hey, hey, hey, how are you feeling real good? Are we doing a pre sleight? The topic or the trowball? Which is here? I'm gonna do pre prepared? I love it. Here we go,

pre prepared topic from Melinda and your time. We'll begin now. I don't think so, honey. Airplane safety videos. First of all, how dare you suggest that if I'm in a fucking plane crash, I don't get to die. I don't want that. I don't want to survive that ship? Are you kidding me? Best case in are of surviving a plane crash is like slowly bleeding out while you get in my sharks, or like ending up on a confusing island seconds. I don't think so, honey. And what if you're telling me

that if the plane crashes, I have jobs? I don't think so, honey. My only job is to go to heaven, and I don't think so, honey. On paying celebrities to be in your video. However, you fucking however much you fucking paid Jillian Andersen to be British for the day, you have to expend it on giving me a centimeter more of room because my knees are in my armpits. I don't think so. In the town, everybody very on point.

I want to die if anything one thing goes wrong, I'd rather I let her our dream, my literal dream to Okay, okay, al right, here we go, everyone to close out Act one. Please welcome to Courtney Saliday. Hey, court Hey, Hey, it's so much is a good time? Yeah, we're having to alright, so listen to continue the good times. It's a trouble or for me, it's gonna be a sorry five all right, So your time, Courtney will begin. Oh my god, my phone, just do something insane. Your

time begins right now. I don't think so, honey. Cab driver asking me for directions, yeah are you? First of all, I don't have a lot of money. This is like a huge luxury for me. I was told to be relaxing. It's like a spy and now you're giving me something to do. I can't listen to music. I can't listen to a podcast because I can't play the directions out loud. I don't know if you can hear it. I have to like repeat them. Allowed to you do? I expect

you to know every every stream the city. Yeah, things that goes on your air with the GPS, Like people complain that Hooper's killing your industry. It's like, step it up, so honey, so rude. Ten seconds okay. So also five emotional labor women. It's not fair. That's what I made. Give it up for the favorites we had, Miles Robbins, Generaldine Roswanathan, Ali Colburn, Christina Hutchinson, Melina tap and Courtney Soliday. Thank you? Okay? Can I ask you a question? Are

we having a good time? I need you could have said no. If you could have said no, and the fact that you would that means everything to us. That could change change a whole day. And let me tell you, y'all are gonna go to the bar right now during our ten to twelve minute intermission. Jessica's back there. You're gonna tip haw and we're gonna come back here and

we're gonna do what I don't think so, honey. We'll see you guy, and you're not leave and ness the marriage proposal that will happen on this stage tonight in our second half. We'll see then on the batchelor Forever. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get

your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook. M