"I Don't Think So, Honey! 13" (Part 1)

is a cis gender mail. But because you know it's passed over, it can't forget. I can't forget, except I fully did forget. And my dad on Friday called me and said, hey, Matt, trying not to eat meat? And I was like, to l bitch and I said those exact words. Wow, we have an amazing relationship. What I can call my dawn a bit? Wait? Um, I think we will probably get sued for talking about this soon from what the tailor of it all? Okay, so you know, hold on, hold on, hi. Everyone knows, first of all,

there's a tailor of it all. There's a tailor of it all. But are people are where their tailor is counting down to something? Oh, we know of the countdown. Everyone thinks that the countdown is for new music. But okay, do we want to do this? We risk a lawsuit. We risk a lawsuit if we continue. You I think she would actually benefit from this. The scuttle butt. The scuttle butt is she's actually counting down to coming out of the closet. I found out about this seconds ago,

and I am intrigued. But have my suspicions. I think is would she really do that? Probably not. She wouldn't be She wouldn't count down to well, right, so would say for anyone to come out as like a libertarian and to count down to it, to come out as anything and have a countdown first, There's a question to ask once we engage in this kind of logic, and it's does she want us to think that and then do it? And we think, well, there are no rules or are there currently no rules? You know? Did did

everyone watch the Jacu Peterson debate the other right? You know? I don't know what was sad, but I think the moral was there are no rules? Well, there are no rules. But here's the thing. If Taylor comes out as queer, I don't know, because it's then we will literally have Apple presents all gay things. Then we're out what then at least then we get Buddha Judge. We definitely get Budda Judge. If Taylor is here, we definitely get Judge. We get him. Okay, he wins. I think that's what

I mean, and I think you know that's what I'm meaning. Great, Um, I would love that. I would love it. I would love for not only Taylor to come out as clear, but for Pete Buddha Judge to win as a results. I feel like if I'm her brand manager and she's political now and she says I'm queer, I then say, okay, queer plus I'm political. Now we're stumping for Buddha Judge Baby, Her and Shaston would get along truly, So well tell me that Taylor and Chaston that wouldn't be like a

full thing. Yeah. I think Chaston's edging for a talk show. I think like there's a conflict of interesting that's unfolding right before our eyes in the Erica, and it's that Chaston Buddha Judge wants to be a something. He wants to be a first gent which I hate calling it. That I got Chaston's whole thing was he wants to be called the first lady, but we'll be will present his meal. He refers to himself currently and I can only say what and current events are happening as we

first Lady, it's not them. Current events are happening as we speak. It's actually real culture number three. Current events are happening as we speak. And I can always speak to what's current. I can speak to what's current. And he is currently on his Twitter claiming to be the first gent of South Bend, and you have to think that would translate to the White House, that you can continue calling himself first gent, which I guess that's what it would be, right, gentleman, lady would be first man,

first gentleman, first gentleman. And that that's that's what the whole that's what the whole conversation was around. Bill. Yeah, how dare you bring that up? Um? I I think I would actually be a really good political husband in the new era. This is where you emphatically agree. Okay, talk about what what does the White House look like? At Christmas? You went right to decorating ship and I would obviously get someone for that, but I would have like say, I say, I like, I don't know, wait

what did it be iconic though? Because you this is just you and I'm thinking about you decorating the White House an Ikea Christmas. Yeah, and that would actually be inspiring to the nation. Yeah, because it brings everyone down. It unifies people to have everyone have Ikea furniture, that would be a unifier. I'm very good at this, truly already already. But I would be good at my message because you know how every first person has to have

a message. My message would be bullying to troll Millannia, and I would truly get nothing done. I would just it would just entirely be about saying I was trolling Millannia. And we would not tackle a bullying because you can't pitch. You can't tackle an amorphous thing. It's like people are gonna bully, okay. Yeah, and aren't we all happy we went through adversity? Maybe, um, Brooklyn, how are we doing tonight? Can I tell you? You said, Brooklyn, how are you

doing tonight? And my instinct was that Brooklyn Heights, the drag Queen was here because I can't stop thinking about her after that episode. That was good, It was it was good. It was good, a lot of fun moments. What's that the face? You gotta speak up it you have everyone's attention. Now okay, now it's fine. What okay? Now it's fine, It's fine. There there there there's a hand prison happening. Um, it's okay. Are you a Brooklyn Heights fan or no? Yes? Okay? Did you guys watch

drag Race? Shocking? Um? Who likes Brooklyn? Who likes Silky? I like Silky? Who likes Evie Carrier? Who doesn't care? End of an era? Drag Race is dead here and now tonight? Well what bitch that? They just did it? They did it, not us. No one declared anything. Okay, I'd like to declare something. Yes, did you guys notice my jersey? It was ninety dollars? Yeah, you know the nine. You know when you stare at the ninety dollar jersey,

that nine jersey stares back. I wanted a TACKI shirt that said l A on it for the show, and I want to go buy it, and they said it's ninety dollars and I didn't want. I don't know. Something very insane happened to me where it made it made it meant more to me to be cool to the person at the desk than not spend ninety dollars. And I was like, what is it? Like, what's that's exactly? That's too low? Actually, here's here's my whole wallet. Wow,

you really really showed them that you were cool. What's up with you? Bitch much? I had a little staycation here, which what is this? But I had a staycation and um and I got it. I got I got myself a nice little room. I heard the Hotelian Williams Bird. And what happened when you went to chicken? Oh don't no, I did. Was this lovely person named Owen? Hot? Name can we say? He said? He said? Um, he said wow, I listened to the pods pl um what other pods do you have? Well? You know, he said, he said.

He was like, I listened to you guys. I listened to Cat and Pat and then he give it up for cat cats here Pat is not does not Pat? We Pat made a choice to actually know it's a legitimate choice. He it's his last weekend, it's his family's last weekend in his childhood. So I don't care. I thought he shoid. I thought he showed it on the show. Bitch ashes to ashes. It's a fucking house, your old house. No,

not at all, where to see where I was very sad. Yeah, I was very sad in my childhood home growing up because I'm gay. If you didn't get that from everything about me, and he's gay too, Bowen's gay. Oh actually, can we talk about this? We said we're going to address this. Yes, So Matt is this just beautiful rude Goldberg pr machine right now? And he's trying to push this nere three things that I am. He's trying to

push this story that I am white and white. Okay, boy is white and not only is he white, but he's a white bitch. You say, unpacked this it's plains Bowen's white. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Um, I admits it. What's I mean is there? What are we? What are we going off? What is the you? You have tricked us and you're a betrayal. There's nothing more to this bit. That's truly just a bit. And you and you as an audience have to embrace the simplicity of the Flatten City.

I mean you have to. And you have who bought something with the words Taylor Swift on it? You bought it. Can I say I just lost mine in high tops at West Hollywood. I lost my tailor Swift sweatshirt. I have to pay forty five dollars, which is too much again for another sweatshirt of my own. Yeah. People, people should know that we spend our own money out of pocket to buy our own merchant and that is not good. Okay, let's just get to it. Ego, let's just get to it.

This show is called I Don't Think so Honey? Now, yeah, who here goes? But I don't think so honey? Do you guys even know what I don't think? For those that don't, for those that are not, I don't think so honey is a unit of time, and it's one minute for someone to go off on a unit of culture. Um, that is getting their goats, that is pushing their buttons. Something they hate in pop culture, something they hate. It's

got to be addressed. Um. I mean, listen, you're gonna see truly a bunch of catharsis on this issue and they will feel good for you. Now, before we start the adom think so Honey proceedings, we do have a friend that joins us for most of our lives shows. She is a very famous actress, I know, very exciting. Um. What yes, and that's not coming. No, she's not coming. She's not coming. Um our friend of wait, you are seeing alive, Emma? Can you edit that out? Yea happen

right before your eyes. We're talking, of course, about our friend, the famous actress, the troll moll ball. Yes, the tall now the troll ball. Oh. I feel like we to explain, okay, okay, So every time we do the show, we have a net Benning come out here and it's Peter Smith playing in net Benning. But Peter doesn't out of the costume tonight. So and that's not coming out. But I wasn't told that, and so this is an edit that out moment. Yeah,

and we're gonna proceed. We're gonna proceed. Who's high? It would really help me? Thanks? That matters. Dust to dust. We're on a big rock on this guy dust. So we skip ash to stash as we go straight to dust to day. I have to get to rock on this. So there are two types of I don't think so, honey, there's two options for all of our guests tonight. They can do it pre selected. I don't think so honey,

it's a topic that they've chosen ahead of time. Um, that they've probably beat out, as they say in the industry out. Or they can pick from the troll ball, which is right here, the troll ball. So the troll balls feel with a bunch of topics to go negative on that would ordinarily be difficult to talk badly about. So, for example, past trouble topics have been Princess Diana, UM, Alexandria Casio Cortez, Um, John Bennet Ramsey, we don't care at all. I don't care at all. We don't care

at all. It's better yeah, um, and I'm token. Brittany Murphy hasn't been in there, but that's what I'm looking for, you know what I mean. So, um, they have to go negative on this this topic. It can be conceptual. Past uh, conceptual topics have included diversity, affirmative actions. Yes, um, And so they have to shoot on it. They can't do a work around where they're like, oh, I don't think so honey, this person, why don't you work born Now you have to ship on the very essence of

that thing. And so to exemplify a pre prepared I don't think so, honey. Please welcome bowen Yang, bowen yang. So you've prepared and I don't think so any topic. Okay, Well, in that case, your time will begin now. I don't think so, honey. Toilet paper you want to get in my asshole, but I have to do all the work. No, thank you. I don't think so, honey. I see you every day, and yet you're trying to get all bug

by being like to ply quilted tofted charman. No, bitch, your job is to wipe the ship out of my asshole. You don't get to be fancy. Okay, look other cultures of advanced to bid days. The future is the days the day culture. I don't care that plumbing is already started to hack. I want water in my asshole. That is the only way that I will feel at least anally stimulated while I here bang. So, I don't think so any toilet paper. You're on your bust, your dropped

second hair left. The Sharman bears are um fascists and five seconds they represent something that is fascist to begin with. I don't think so on toilet paper. It's like a nice plane. Don't know yourself. It was fanc the best of the night, Thank you very much, And now to examples. Wait, but I want to talk about toilet paper for a second, because I agree. I don't think so, honey. Um, the

shitty toilet paper hurts, but cleanse your ass better. Yeah, the good toilet paper feels like a dream and it stays in your butt hole for two to four years. It's like gum. It's like in that way. Um, you're right, You're so right? What's so right? Oh my god? What a fun paradox. Now, please welcome to this microphone. Matt Rodgers should exemplify a trollball. I don't think so, honey. Okay, this is never my favorite thing to do. Okay, one

time I got diversity and that was a display. And that was a display, Matt Rodgers, here, I don't think so many trollball topic is the actress Julianne Moore and your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Julianne More, you weren't good enough for n call hall oftener for can you ever forgive me? You're not get enough for me. You wouldn't even be able to touch him a Listen to Carpes performance in that film. I don't think so, honey.

Julianne Moore, I was gonna say something about your freckles, but that's me in a real way, all right. I saw the movie Gloria Belle. You were good. It was no Alia Coleman in the favorite Julianne more. Now that you've won an Oscar, I expect that every time. I expect an Oscar winning performance. Every time you dance rounding Gloria Bella look kind of sad. Oh, he're seeing Gloria Belle more than I thought. Wow. I don't think so, honey. You all get more shipped to do. We all could

have done better things. And seeing Gloria Belle, though I was happy to be there, not seeing Captain Marvel, I don't think so many. Captain Marvel, you looked vague anyway. Julian Moore, You're amazing and Boogie Nights. You were not good in that movie where you were blind. I think it's called freedom. I'm gonna walk off the stage and that's one minute. Do you we have anyone from four in the audience. Gloria Bell just treat by a Bell I live from Gloria bell It was fun, was it?

Is it like a comedy where I'm truly, truly I was gonna ask, is it like it could have passed as a comedy because someone smiles in it? Because oh is it a comedy in the transparent way of like, oh, someone smiles, and now it's a comedy of the Emmy was like yes, yea, and Mike and Orange is a New Black way was someone smiling? Right? Right? Actually, the first perpetrator of that was I think weeds. Weeds was and I think Genti Cohen um ruined television, ruined television.

She should be put forth in a television tribunal. How dare you conflate genres? Um? How dare you put us in this position now to call Orange just the New Black a comedy? I know they shifted genres recently in the twelve Cohen? How dare you all right? So we're gonny to start? I don't think so, Honey, live I am too. We've named all the groups and we're bringing up by groups of five groups of five. As you can see, there are five chairs, are gonna be five

people and everyone, please welcome to the stage. This group more like Booty Judge, Welcome, Pierce, Come, k rostrap Amzimmer welcome to stay shut Washington. Oh what a beautiful group. What a beautiful group, and the very first to them like otherwise known as a net benning, but not tonight. Peter Smath, Oh my, oh my word, boys, Hi, you have a net? Were you in the net costume before

before this or no? I think we were very unclear with you about what you were supposed to do tonight, and I believe the last thing we ended on was that you were not going to do in nets because you have somewhere to go. You have a stay year ago to happy passing. Put on blast bone, listen. I don't know. I'm happy to hear from Peter instead of in that in fact, a net benning. I don't think, Sonny, but I do alright, So don't my bills sometimes, Peter Smith,

are you going to be doing? And I don't think so. Any trouble or you get out something in that beautiful brain? Oh wow, the beautiful brain, the beautiful brain. We love that. This is I don't think so many time starts now, I don't think so, honey, going first, Okay, the cell has been broken here I am thrown out on top the lamb the martyr. Interesting tomorrow pretty timely, don't you think here? I am ready to be nailed to that cross of comedy. Hey, hey, oh, what time is it?

Everyone ready for the rest of the show. Two hours of people screaming at ship. I'm keeping it pretty low to start because I don't want to blast everyone's ear drugs out. By the time I get to the end of this. Thirty seconds, we're gonna be louder and louder and seconds for the folks told, I'm wearing a T shirt that has my name on it for the folks here, yeah, hi, hi, seconds, ten seconds, I'm gonna get louder and louder, and louder and louder. You get louder to louder, louder, waning up

the crowd. I don't think so, honey. Positions and one up the crowd. Peter, you love that, Peter. That was beautiful And now you have to Katie Ruth ashcrack o, kat Ruth, We're so good in fact, would you like to do I'm going to go from my brain, from the beautiful brain. Oh when I reached into the trouble and this is Katie, Katie Ruth ashground Katy Shoes. I like Katie Shoes. Her time starts now, Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey, people who mistake my optimism

as maya the tay. Okay, all right, I have but one life to live and you're gonna tell me to not get my hope up, bitch, It's up and it's rising. Okay, my hope is renewable. Get it in the Green New deal. Okay. Alright, Yeah, I believe in love. And if that makes me childlike that Google Gaga, bitch, I'm a baby baby that Fox people, she loves Okay, alright, and I don't want you maybe mistakenly thinking that it's a response to instead of sorry,

let me start over that. Um. Actually, I'm gonna calm down for a second, and in my true whimsical, optimistic self, I'm gonna end with a poem, okay, or I'm gonna say I'm going to recite Ross Gay's Sorrow is Not My Name, which a response to Okay, but look, remember my ned she's running through the field calling my name. My angel's voice of a singer of fuck. We we got the poem, we got it. It's about it's about being positive. I was gonna let her finish. Can you

can you in the end of the palm? Okay, it's ross Ga sorrows my name, and the end of it goes. But look, my niece is running through the field calling my name. My neighbor has a voice like an angel. At the end of my block is a basketball court. And I remember my color is green. I am springs Trap. That was lay ash Trap. Beautiful. Please welcome to the microphone now, Amy Zimmer, poetrip Zimmer. Hi Amy, Oh no, and no, she's done. It's water, thank you, so Hi, beautiful, beautiful, Peter,

Peter's got it. Well listen, here's the thing. We have two options for you. They are the trouble, which is here, and then of course pre selected. I don't think so any topics, thank you, Peter. I'm gonna go pre selected, pre selected as what she's gonna go. This is am. I don't think so many of the times starts now. I don't think so, honey, the past, okay, pay to wake it to you, honey, But that happened, Okay. I'm right here right now in the present, honey, you hear me. Okay,

I'm not thinking about what happened before. Right now I'm trying to guide us in the future here, honey. And how can I do that thinking about that old thing? Okay, I can't. I'm all for history, but the past, my therapist is I have to go back into that second and talk and learn more about covert narcissist. Honey. I already learned that, Honey. I won't go back there. It's pass over, okay, and it's for twenty and may I just say free everyone incarcerated four drugs. I'll leave it

at that. I don't think so, honey. Yes, it's more. Thank you Amy Sinner and thank you Christie Sallow for being there. Christie? Are you doing baby? Hi? Hi? Less culture? I love this sell, we love you. Now. Here's the thing. There's a bull here. It's the troll bull and um. You can do that or you can do a priest like the topic. And let me tell you something. I've seen you do both, baby, and I know that whichever

one you choose, you'll excel. Yeah, you want to know something crazy, I'm doing a troubles all the night away dere touch up? Ye, yes, yes, yes, Christie. Your trouble topic is the city of Paris, France and your time starts now. I don't think so honey, the city of parents France bore more like no, Paris France. I just don't, you know, I don't really get what the big deal is Croissance. I don't think so honey, Paris France, because it's so far away. I don't think so honey, Paris France.

I can't afford you. I don't think so Paris France. I thought power is tacky. I don't think so Pires France, because you know, you're not. New York, which is the greatest city in the world, starts bread in the nooning today. I'm good for a part of it. I don't think so honey, Paris France, because you can do my dress your Paris, you can kiss my food. My bad good of you did not mention the Notre Dame. Where did you just forget it was even there? I don't think

so Melocot in the room Notre Dame pretty forgettable. Also, I mean, try not to be a cathedral, a Gothic cathedral made of wood. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, trying not to try not to do that as you lay ashes on the ground, trying not to see you in fifteen years, even fifteen years. Yeah, when you're made of metal in a museum that costs eight hundred dollars to get into. I don't think that's true. Now, please welcome to the microphone our friends, Sydney washing a bad Yes,

he's back. Okay, it's no way high. What's gonna be pre selecting trouble? Oh you know I got my notes here. I got my notes pre selected. Baby, this is Sydney Washington's. I don't think so many here. I don't think so honey starts now, I don't think so honey. Destination wedding okay, Fitch, I don't care if it's in a Ruba, Jamaica or can coon Wait is it Spring Bay Bridge? I don't care. Listen, I don't care. Stop telling me it's a vacation. It's

not a vacation. If your mother, your sister, and your annoying friend Forbiddle School is there, it's not a vacation. Stop telling me that I have a whole year to save. You don't know my finances. My debit card just got declining. Duncan donuts. No, I can't go to your destination wedding. Okay, I am not going to your destination wedding that costs two tho dollars to watch you in a man named Ted that wears crocs on Date night, tell your drawn

out bounds. Okay, listen, listen, I don't think so, honey, my edges can't take it. All right, Wait and stop asking me to be a bridesmaid on top of your destination wedding. All right, listen, I don't want to be stuck with your six friends that all y'all got a common is peanut grieg your honey, I don't think so. I don't think then he doesn't want to go nowhere.

It's tight. Everyone give it up for this first group more like booty Nay right, Sam Washington were beautiful start, I'm believablebow Truly, we're off to an a basic storm. I say, if we get our next group out there, what do you think will just give it up for this group? Friday night Light stoody green, ain't go whoona, Gary Richard said, and will stee there Friday night Lights Friday night Light her Now welcome to the microphone, our friends. Hello, Hi,

there's a big studio. I heard a rumor at brunch today with just you about what you were doing has that stayed true. First of all, I just want to say that tonight on stage we were all family. Yes, the groove here tonight, and I'm gonna be vulnerable and for the first time ever, I'm going to do the trouble Wow. Thank you. I feel I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous, competent your I don't think so, Honey. Trouble topic is Chrissie Teagan and your time starts now. I

don't be so Christie Teagan. You will lay out for literally any brand, honey. You and John Okay, Pampers, Target, fucking your Skin, Bronzer, fucking even John Legend sponsoring Christmas. Now that two of them all Christmas. Also, she is not eating have food every night to nightmare chicken. We have pasta, garlic and cheese. Don't babe, Are you excited? Babe? What do you think? Luna? I do watch every single Intervira.

Oh girl, you're funny, but like you're funny for a month. Okay, funny like a guy on my improv team's girlfriend is funny, like witch up. Yeah that's technically isn't Joe. It's just coming out to somebody with the most symmetrical face you've ever seen. So you're like warty party and now also for the stage the man responsible single handedly for as revival. You like hyot Ah, thank you, my beautiful trend. They've done more for me than I. That's not that's not

your eli. Okay, you have two options. Pre select your trouble. I'll say this. I did something kind of wacky and outrageous. Okay, UH would see I I pre I wrote out a statement, but I didn't. But I would love any topic that I could say it though. Oh so you want to here and you're to you, and I am confident that my pre written statements. This is a this is an interesting one. This is this your star of Roma, your Aorisio. Her first name is Yosa Yao. And you're and you

like how until times starts? I don't think so, Anny, you, Lisa Aperisio. You know some might call it or them a coward's endeavor. I didn't thinking, kid didn't even with this crowd. Not only does that thing or person suck as for reasons I think we all understand, but the people who enjoy it are fools, cowards and quite frankly

race it. I mean this topic as if if I were stuck on a boat with this person thing or idea, And also Hitler was also on the boat, and I had a gun, and the gun had two bullets in side of it. I popped two in my own head. So Hitler had to be with this thing for five minutes. I yield my time down. Well, you're really gross in her. Now if you want the steps whatever rule of culture number seven and if you like, you'll need to ABARISO you are racing in? Are you ready for what? Heo?

I fell head you'll invented the highways to j I just I invented it in my basement in Baltimore. Yeah, so he go, Hello, and we have a trouble here that's full of topics, or we have a whole probably mindful of ideas you can spew on. I have some ship to talk about. Listen, goods. I don't think some one of your twin stunts. Now, I don't think so, honey,

motherfucking dating apps. Okay, okay, I know this might not be an original idea, but I'm singing as ship men are now cowards, all right, So I don't think so, honey, men, you need to talk to me in real life. Okay. We I don't need a pen pal. I don't need a man to text for a few days at a time who then falls off and reappears months later. Bitch, I thought you were dead. Second, I have friends to text. And if you see me in real life, come up and talk to a bit, okay, because I'm looking for

some dick. It's been a damn drought, okay, and this is the one time I have to tell people in the public a public places that I need dick. So fuck you're dating app and talk to me in person. Steps got in the person, y'all. Wow. I am very excited to welcome Gary Richards. Gary always looks he always looks exactly right. Come back kind, you're too kind. What's it gonna be? Um? You know I live above a bodega, so today I was thinking about this. I don't think

so honey. It's time starts now. Okay, Um, I don't think so honey, honey. Dew melon okay, for real, let's keep it. Let's keep it in a buck right now. Okay. If I get a fruit, stud of the kid want grapes, the kid want watermelon. Okay, But I'm staring at the fucking Wizard of Eyes with this fucking green nothing. That is honey melon. Okay, alright, playing simple, Okay, honeydew melon is the produce equivalent of going to the bathroom taking like a tiny ship but you're wiping for days. What

it's like? Hold on, like wait, how the fund just pop off? Why is this going down like this' say? This ain't how this should be. I've live my whole life living one way and they're gonna blast me with this like showing of nothing, taking up of the fucking smathe. Its praised out of control. And then I'm talking to my guy the bodega, like, yo, why are we doing this? And he's like, hey, I don't make it. You gotta live with it. And I'm just like, I don't know,

don't suck my pick? Now? What do we have? The Prince of my heart? Please? Micro on? Well, Dina, Oh well, I definitely believe you're I love, I love very much. What's going to be? You know, I'm gonna go with the trouball I do, bitch, she's a break bitch, let's do it. Okay, Well, your I don't think so, honey. Trollball topic Serena Williams and your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Serena Williams. And I'm gonna tread

real lightly here. I don't think so, honey, Serena Williams, because guess what, You're too good at your sport and you make cool instagrams that I like. Uh look, Serena Williams. She's the best of what she does. She might be the best athlete of all time. And how fucking boring is that? I don't think so, honey. Being the best of your field. Two thousand nineteen is not about perfection. Two thousand nineteen is about struggle, about the wrestling with

what's going on in this country. Serena Williams does not contribute to that. Serena Williams is a scourge. On twenty nineteen, fine said, and I yield my time, will see that beautiful men. I love it st degree well. I love Friday night light, Love those Friday night lights. Serena Williams is a scorge one. She does not represent struggle, No,

not at all. Everyone, please love theme on that screw clamb up, push Tim Gerbois and Anne Marie you but I'm here By keeps Emory right now, Ma, they're demery Bob Matthew fantasy. Oh my god, whoa you maybe see that? Did you wait on purpose? You can all make hut? Did you wait on purpose? Fish for your moment? Yeah? Yeah, please welcome to go on your phone, Tim Grba, I said, whichever, Tim, Hi, what would you like to do? But select your shoulder. I am gonna do pre salute to this Tim Urbox.

I don't think Sony's turn strips now. I don't think so, Honey. Matt Rogers on Tinder four years ago. That's right, This beautiful bitch and I matched. Oh my god, the possibilities are endless. The first thing he messages me is I didn't know you were gay. Guess what. Neither did most of my friends or my family, because I was steeping in a sea of self loathing. I then reply to him, I say that is way harsh. He says, I think the line, honey, is that's way harsh. Tie. Don't you

try to out quote clueless bitch. I was fucking ten years old and saw that movie in the theater with my best friend, who are her older sister and her older sister's hunky as boyfriend who was already get cable. This Twitter that I could not stop watching, and I was only ten years old. It was a confusing time for my body, on my mind. And in conclusion, may I please remind you, honey, that it does not say R S V P on the statue of there. That's my true Oh my god, god. I was wondering when

it would come on. What just happened was Larry Owens lovel pa, welcome to the stage, dressed for the occasions? Thanks, oh thank you? What's the Oh? I prepare and I premollow starts now. I don't think so, honey. The holiday for twenty I don't care if your little celebration is today.

I am coming for you. Oh you were started by a bunch of privileged white boys who could just hot class whenever they wanted, I called themselves with the wall does no And I don't think so, honey, edibles, because at any time I eat you, I either feel absolutely

nothing or everything. I did not want to eat the rice rice crispy treat and be playing Russian Roulette with the rice krispy between that tastes like grass and c b D c b D. It's a lie nandy war do not tell me about how when you got CBD lotion and wear stilettos, get your feet on her, bitch raising her fat on vernice because your shoes costs more than I left up anyway, Happy Hi Holidays your podcast.

Oh no, wait, that phrase doesn't belong to you. You stole it from the two Everyone showed her up here tonight. Please please welcome Nil the sofa. Oh hi baby, we had all year. We got a gorgeous sign. Truly, the world is your oyster right now? What do you want to do? Troll ball to go to the bottom ones? Okay? New singer World by Storm tell me, tell me? Okay, her name Billy, I knew it. I don't think so, honey, Billy Eilish speak the fuck? Uh? What are you saying?

I am thirty three years old, you are seventeen. If that's how you speak to your friends, I'm sorry because you clearly don't have anything important enough to say. I hear it. Ps I follow you on Instagram. I don't understand the references to the office you're with Ray Wilson, Like, I really don't get it, and that's a part of millennial culture. I don't get if seventeen year olds were allied in the mid nineties, you would all be closeted and sad like I was twenty second Um. I also

don't understand Billie Eilish, but my mother does. And that's really upsetting because she did an episode of Ellen and then my mom was like, do you know this girl Billie Eilish And I was like, yes, I do. How do you understand what she'm saying? So I guess just I don't think something the Eilish, But if you're seventeen that you want to explain it to me, I'll be out there any seventeen year olds asking Mark Bagatt, oh

here for a seat? Me there, and Mark is about to strap Oh is the spice Rous tour singing, dais this is the this man in the Spice World movie? Right? Yes? This is the fifth grade choreographing everything to Chicago. Yes, yes, we all see it. Well, what's it gonna be? I'm gonna do pre planned, planted another way to say that in another language, pre planned This is nothing. I don't think so, honey, And as time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Cutting the gay sex scenes from Rocket

Man the bio pick for Elton John. Yeah, we're gonna do that. You might as well just rewrite the entire tale and bring in a white blonde woman named Mary and tell us that that what's the love life of his entire life? Because the best choice. When we did it with Bohemian Rhapsody, we were all absused. I don't think so, honey. If you're going to do so, like, I will go see this movie and I would start

having sex in the theaters. I will go to every AMC in midtown and I will have sex, and I would reprove other men to do so, because that is what sex is. More than one person it looks or two or three, and if you want four, just call me after the show. I understand. Great, I understand the latter behind it because you do want money. The cleaner it is, the better. But think about this, but you do you have history to make. I could, by chance do anyways, who's upsetes in my outfit? That's why I

want this. That's what I'm everyone honestly, because I don't think so. Honey was a feature length film and couldn't fit into the one minute, and we ended on the album and we love and now please welcome to the stage, and Marie, I am, oh my god, nothing more to say. Fashion? Is it? Is it also a blowout happening? This? Yeah, lift blowout fashion, all of that agree. Now, I don't think so honey, all Asians look alive. No, I don't

think so okay. Frants Becky who pulled on a jetic cam account when I'm trying to check in, and then I can you saw it? I'm going, that's not me. You doubled down and go, all that's crazy because you look just like her. So I don't think so okay. I don't think so honey. Old white man who says, oh my god, that girl and you must be sisters, And I'm like, no, guess WoT only are we not related?

My parents are from Korea, hers it from China. So no. And then you man, you doubled down and go that's crazy because I was watching you both talk the other day and these similarities are just so uncanny. I'm telling you you must be sisters. You're telling me that I have a sister. Oh my god, thank you so much, old white man. I'm sorry you're not apology and you fucking raise his fuck and you're staring at mean talking

to someone, you fucking creeper. It's so honey, okay, but when and I are not related, although I wish we were. Pusskir Twitter, Mark McGain kiss is all kiss us, all miss you off the show, seventeen year old you know who to find? His name is Neil. Yeah. Now, welcome to the stage. The next group called foolish man to pray on? Just sure, pull let's go shore that a Polish school sweeter, Joe Castle, George come off, Look at these foolish boys to prey on. They were dumb enough

to come on stage. Now, well, now will pray right, we will prey on our first charge with Josh come on, Josh Sharp and Adam Selman. Yes, it's my signer pajamas tonight, honey, real love it. Okay, so listen, Josh, there's a bull here. It's been rarely used. It's got fulla trollball topics. You can, of course. Are you feeling trollish tonight? Are you pre selected? No? I've pre selected, okay, Jo, I don't think so, honey,

remembering any of your names. I'm sorry, I'm here. It's a deficiency, it's a mental illness into the handicap, and yet it makes me rude. The burden you have put on me. It's crazy. You've given me a full make trips. Some words I have to memorize because you've described the personal meeting. If I slep up one sun, asshole, No, that's on you. You don't because most of them aren't even words. Their sounds. Like Peter, Sure, that's a word. I guess I'm gonna go, But like Megan, that's a sound. Megan,

that's a sound. I don't use that anywhere else in my life. They're not gonna remember it, you know. I can try. Imagine if I him up to you and I said, you met me, and I said for the rest of my life remember this? Yeah, And then a full year and a half later and are I said, what was my sound? You went ye, damn, you asshole. I'd be crazy. Album steeped in white supremacies are non as logan harder for me. Yes, I hate my white bread. Whiteness is a cancer. But I'm not an asshole. I'm

just stupid. It's rule of counter number an eighteen. I'm not an asshole. I'm just stupid. And now welcome is a microphone call leus go it's so well and relate in febox. I was so excited to touch him. Cool, it's gonna be I've pre selected we love that love that well. School. That's five starts now. I don't think so, honey standing up to peace. I don't care. I don't care how good your aim is. There's always back splash.

There is always backsplash. If I wanted to get piste all over my legs and feet, I'd be going out with Matt and bowing to bubble Tea after this show tonight, you're not coming my uberus three minutes away and another three second. I work so fucking hard at everything I do. I wrote a therapy with a list of things in order of which they are causing me pain. Okay, I pay thirty dollars a month for Tinder Gold so I can match with people in other countries, so I can

choose my vacations based on hot guys I match with. Okay, So if I want to take five seconds to sit my fat white ask down and take a breath, I will. I deserve it. I don't think so. I'm mad nothing the babe I sit down every time. I'd be each and every time. Think about that. Every time I pee, I'm sitting. I'm understanding, I'm standing. But the more I think about it, the way a way to queer peeing is to sit down, take back. He welcome thread mats

match man. Okay, Max, yes, men it out. I'm sorry it so stressed out my step I'm just called me a backstage sobbing. It was like somebody just died. But but my little brother just want a volleyball game. It's great that So that's coming into visit next week. Anyway, she was doing sobbing solving. She shouldn't know better. Should I just say, I don't think no, sorry, you want to do if it is a late, you can do a late, you know, Okay, Well you can pre select

your trouble. I want to pre select, but I don't have anything so kind of trouball. Yeah, he wanted to do pre select that. However he has nothing. Okay, Max, I feel very confident your trouball topic. I don't think so, honey, springtimein time and your time starts now. I don't think side right. Oh. Everyone everyone's like, oh love just like

a light jacket and I love light layers. And he's like you don't know what you're doing with your layering, nobody, you don't know how to later like when what do you think is? What do you think is? Larry? You know you just like a cover up as much as

you can't because you gonna have to shade. No, you know, Oh, I don't think funny springs up all the flowers like here, you know that's all things like YouTube, thank god right here, And it's like okay, But then you leave two weeks scitter and it's like, okay, t were is gonna be a little taste of the floral arrangement around the idea. Now I've just said to stay a good bind to it, and then I'm just boiling the line or the rest of the season. Are you sucking hidding me? I don't

understand a springtime springshowers and may powers my answer? What? And then like everything and honestly, allay, where are you? Where are you when I a chocolate gray points all around from match Winnard great point? Oh my, oh my god, please brock up Joe Castle, babe, whoa where are those

pants from? Um? I stole them from a rockabilly couple. Yeah, okay, a rockabilly couple that had a flattering in Simon you Joe, It's gonna be okay, I'll be pre selected, alright, alright, coward, no, no, honest, time starts stand. Okay, I don't think so, honey. People that don't want to hear about the dreams you have last night, oh, I'm sorry that you actually are a

fucking bitch. How don't you learn about the internal world of your friend instead of pretending like I imagine waxcape a friends and here I've got my friends pulling dreams. Those are her fucking dreams. That's her unconscious mind saying, hey, put down the fucking booze and I'm gonna show it to you in a fucking butterfly. You listen to your friend instead of thinking that you're self fucking burnt out that you can't listen to dreams anymore. Okay, now to

Ted talk All right, listen dreams. People have realized that dreams are actually really real, and whether we like it or not, is that it fine? Okay? Cool? By wow, beautiful times my word, my word? Well everyone, please welcome George Svera, George Sords, just shut George. We love beautiful Matt. Do you remember earlier when you asked if the movie where Julianne Moore was blind was called Freedom, it is,

in fact called Blindness and Blindness. Well, I'm hope, I'm happy I'm not his first thought as the executive producers of that movie. I don't think so, Hey, George, it's gonna have to be prefera. You know this is George Sparris is. I don't think so. Many's time starts now. I don't think so, honey. People who say just let people enjoy things, guess what, bitch, do you know what I enjoy feeling morally superior to people who have that tank? Oh? How dare I be dismissive of the Marvel d C

Game of Groans, Harry Potter, West Wing Cinematic Universe. Guess what? All of those movies are funded by the military and big oil. And that's a fact in my opinion. Oh, I'm sorry criticize your favorite live action board game, get Away for the movie adaptation of Settlers of Katan Storry. Sorry, Chris Pratt as a racist log And guess what enjoying things is straight and not enjoying things it's queer, That's what George Paris and we also have a Rome culture.

Rome culture number fifteen. And that's a fact in my opinion. Get it up for Josh Sharp call let school, last Sweater to Castle Baker George scenario. They are foolish men to prey on our next group. Our next group is called something inside Me said yes. And the first to say it is Katherine Going and calco Very Fastay, Melissa's sakask Rosebud Baker and christ and Puckas come on up, Bucas, God, come on first. The microphone is the very shy Catherine Cold.

She's so shy. Oh my god, shop wait, she says, She says, Catherine's going to be trouble. Basily, oh my tits out, Katherine poets, I don't think so, man of your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. The Moon, Why you always make me the bad mood? The Moon? Why you always make me feel like a bit and act like a bit even though my life is very easy? The Moon? Why have you thrust me into the deepest,

deepest depths of a spring spring? Spring depression? Absolutely? The Moon, I don't think so, honey, the Moon, The Moon, I don't thinking the moon? Why? Why? Why? Did you make me this morning? Wake up and say, hey, today is a good day to attack the person who asked me to be his girlfriend. And then I'll ask me four days later. Anything wanted to go to the Google have to see Hilda Auckland. I think, John, you go Moon? Why you make me buy a sixty fi dollar candle?

The moon you swing your little ass around all day? The moon, you make the ocean go boom the moon. I don't know. I don't thinking the moon you go up, you go down wherever you like. No, no, the moon, No the moon groups. I thinking you fall in love the moon. You're stupid, stupid bitch. I don't think. And we have a new culture culture number second five, You and everyone chi came to Google hide your check out held off? But the time please want the Marie fausta

Marie and she's got her phone my world. You know, she came out here and she's unprepared, so so she was like she's gonna do the ball. But then she had an epiphany. Oh I cannot wait to find out whether epiphany had been This is Marie Houstons. I don't think so many your time starts now. I don't think so honey, People who watched beyoncee Homecoming and dancing it

inspired them? Bro? Where inspired you? How you won't give up meat and carbs and fish and alcohol and greens, beans, tomatoes, potatoes. I don't believe you, because I looked in your cart at trendor Joe's and I saw cookies. I don't think so, honey. People who watched it and said and changed my lap. Okay, so you won't call your two friends the one that can't dance that well, the ones that dance how you dance, and you wanna bring them out at Coachella? Where are

you gonna do that at? You want fake of practices, You want fag up practices, and then get pregnant for real with twins and take all the photos like you just got practice for Sime. But the first time, I don't think so, honey. She's the queen and we get it. And y'allow shocked that black women are goddesses, but we already knew that more fast, very fousands Spisy Ferris w IV was not with f was not pregnant with the conspiracy.

There was born here tonight and one please welcome, but less come on, oh Sarious and the mentality of the boot. Come on, it's everything in more. And here's the question we gotta ask, it's the bull or it's pre selected. What are we thinking it is pre selected? Selected? I don't think so, hony. Our time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Grocery stores in my neighborhood who do not sell miracle with absolutely not. Do you think I am proud of this purchase? Do you think I am brown?

I went to leave my neighborhood, go to a different burrow, the fancy borrow, to buy a Midwestern delicately, No, I do not. I don't think so, honey. You're the nineteen different types of artistanal mannaise, nineteen different types extra virgin olive oil mannise speaking manny that is not a thing, that is not possible, does not exist. Truffle mannies. We are over truffle. Nobody likes truffle anymore, Rosemary, I don't think so, honey. America whib is the share of condiments

and last for seventy two years. And it's the Mama me. Here we go again to a helicopter. It is share? Are you too good for share? Williamsburg? Are you too good for moonstruck, for which is of easy. Absolutely not. I don't think so honey. Every grocery store in my neighborhood this cast. How dare you these grocery stores unreal? I mean miracle whip is the share of condiments, and that's actually real culture. Never miracle whip is the share

of confidence. Now, welcome to the microphone. Our friend bacon. Okay, but I think I'm just gonna go with my heart. Yeah, you gotta go to her just pre slept in her heart. Yes, this is I don't think now. I don't think so honey making new friends. I can't do it. I was told tonight was a fashion event. There's cat hair on my sweater, and I put my cat down three months ago. I don't think so honey being funny. Um, I don't think so honey being charming. I am single for the

first time, and I can't fucking do it. I don't want to meet new people. I don't want to I don't want to meet new I don't want to learn your personality. You don't want to learn mine. Trust me. I can enjoy a massage unless it sends me to a women's shelter. Thank you. So much you want don't get to know her? And now microphone christ Puca, Hello Puca, it's honestly share and clueless. It's today ever start alright, so listen, here's the deal. We got a preslected option

and what else do we have? Bow, So there's two prelected. I'm so sorry. I make up my own decisions, thank you, Christophe. Okay, I don't think sunny. I am going to use notes. Sorry, I've had for eight hours of no sleep, so I gon an adderall unrelated. It's a drug holiday. We all are here, okay, I don't think so, honey. People who think they're better than me because they're not on their phone, I'm so sorry. If your phone is on gray scale right now, I feel fucking bad for you. I'm so sorry, Becky.

But deleting your Facebook and your Instagram off of your homepage, god an accolade, it's a handicap. I'm sorry. I don't think so, honey. I have to work harder now to start a conversation with you. My friendship with you is now to fucking burden, think Sonny. I'm so sorry. So you know this is the girl who doesn't watch Game of Thrones and you're fucking proud of that. I'm so sorry. You're not special. You're the same girl who didn't watch

Titanic in fifth grade. Fuck you. I did masturbates Leonardo Caper for the first time. Then, I'm so sorry you didn't get to do that. Here's the thing five, No, keep going, I'm so sorry. Absolutely just I'm just saying that my phone is a personality trait. Look at this, dude, What's what was happening here? Yes? Look, and that's it. I don't fucking thingmit it. My my phone Christmas was And honestly, it's a rule of culture number thirty. My phone is a personality trait and that's that. Give it

up for this group. Something inside me said, yes, Catherine Collins, let us My Baker and christ Ye please welcome our final group for this half half. Please welcome to the stage. Kelly right about good never Eva picture, Seprita, christ Murphy, Natalie Walker, first, Victure Victor. Oh my gosh, this is simply late time. Wow, Okay, what's gonna be pre selected? Your name? Yes, this is I don't think so your

time starts down. I don't think you won't even ask for Carlton's a thousand miles, bitch, you can't fall into the sky. Second, nobody in the history of the world is worth more than a twenty minute walk or a seven dollar lift. I don't think someone even as a Carlton's a thousand miles bitch. Okay. Also, did you know a thousand miles would take five days to walk? When I say a thousand miles, you say that's unrealistic, Vanessa, A thousand miles, that's essad, that's a good as. Also, bitch,

you know what the truth is. You know what the truth is? What the pranessa? Also, if you walk a thousand miles, he'd better make you come one billion times once you get care. I don't know what you're thinking. Maybe it's not he won't. It is because if it was a she, she would say that of the making the sense, let's meet in the fucking mid all. I'm so fine, no FSA, get out of the fucking truck. Let me help you carry your piano back to your apartment,

and let's take this through like a jump. I don't think so even as a college without the bottle oh ship, that's realistic, that's real. Number one hundred that's unreal. Listen, Pranessa, Oh that's so large. We have a trouble here. We have to selected topics up there. Maybe what do you

say re selected? Yes, we got up there. Time starts now. Okay, Um, I don't think so, honey, Anti abortion propaganda conservatives gonna tell me what I can do with my body when y'all don't even know how to fund your information is bad, Your logic is weird read on tweets, and I don't think so. Also, you have black ass confusing branding. Y'all heard of Mike Moon, Okay, he is in Missouri who went on face Supplive. He was like, this is what an abortion is, and we headed a chicken. I don't

think Also, I don't think so. Science, I will say that. And also, yes, if I had seen that video before I had my version, I would have walked into that clinic have been like, yes the guillotine option please, okay, because I love the trauma. Okay, Hi, it's a cluster of self and abortion of healthcare, folks, fol culture zero. There's a lot of heself, an abortion is healthcare. Welcome to Tafrida. Well, hello, what's good? We got pre selected? We got trou bow. It's up to you re selected.

I don't think so, honey. Widely taught, critically acclaimed children's book Ticky Ticky Tembo. For those of you don't remember the first sentences, There once was a Chinese boy named Tiki Tikky Tambo no sambo cherry berry rauchie pamberry pampo. Oh what a swur. I want to do a real Chinese man when I know what his game was. It was late and the the ager, in response to criticism, said, I'm sorry, I don't speak Chinese. I just wrote down

what I heard my neighbors saying. So I'm gonna say real Chinese and then I'm gonna switch to knock quite Chinese. But I won't tell you when you tell me when. What it means is, she would you when shoes she ware hurchin, you think you would take a shoot you out? Tikki Tikki temp Oh, my bro, amazing pelics, Welcome Christmas, free dinner, okay, past come on, okay, listen, tell m to us about what we're doing for your follow Yeah. Yeah, I have a song in my heart, so I have

to get it out and heart. I don't think so many times charts. Now, I don't think so, honey. William H. Macy ober Rate and piece of ship letting your wife Felicity Hufman drowned in the court of public opinion over Operation Blues. I'm sorry, Felicity Huffman loves your idiot daughter

more than you do. The only reason you weren't indicted in this case is because you weren't engaging your daughter's educational future and says, all right, you're nothing but a dead beat, fucking dad, just like the wet board of a dead dad dad beat bucking dad that you play on shameless alright, and Babs, maybe if you're a real like aless actor and not a seedless character actor, you'd have enough money to sort of get your daughter to schooled the normal worst person away by buying a fucking

build here. Also, apparently he's on RIAH and like, guess what Waves basic, No one wants to fuck you. You look like you're the turtle bas Rias on Riya. Sit in your bad it's bleak self awareness, Chris Murphy, Murphy, who is the poem? It's Natalie Walker, Yes, thank you, Thank you Walker, Natalie, thank you, and truly as the Oscar gone close loss. It's the visual medium. I'm dressed in called sequence and I look magnificent. Ball. It's gonna be pre selected that I thought of thirty minutes before

the show. Going to my heart. It's fresh, and here is Natalie Walker. Certain I don't think so. Tommy Chevinson, thank you for those of you in the audience whose minds don't desire hell and therefore are not on Twitter. Chevinson had a very successful fashion magazine that she then ditched for a very successful acting career in two Broadway shows. But she is now abandoned to do titters front facing camera video. This pivot to video just like the pivots to video of Mike a buzz speed of FMTV news.

It's hurting hundreds of people, including bitch me front facing video. And if I had been a tool from my shows, which I didn't go to school and train for, I would not be doing my front facing video. Tommy hurting me, you're hurting the masses, and I wounded your your snapchat builter comedy. I don't thank so too. A fact all pretty well, Chris Hollo over here, it's a very quick break the short show. Please fig around and we love

you so much. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Bahum, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.