"I Don't Think So, Honey! 10" (Part 2)

you guys ready to resume? And I also just want to do say thank you guys so much for coming out and bow and Yang does send all of his love. He's busy spending time with his new best friend and podcast partner Jason Momoa, who will host SNL this week. And I think we'll be good. But you know what, you guys didn't even notice Bone was gone right too much?

All right? So this next group is called Life Style and Lifestyle give it up for Jackie Johnson, give it up a title man, Emily fight Master and calls that are man, oh my god, oh ladies, no ladies, stand up. You gotta give it up because when we asked for a look, this is why we asked for our match, and that's why I instinctually new to put them together. Yes, because podcasts are famously a visual medium. I'm gonna say

this is stunning on the eyes, stunning on the eyes, truly. Now, I would say, why don't we go ahead and bring Jackie Johnson. Jackie Johnson, get up, beauty very Hello, Jackie, you're hung these are here, I do think, so, honey, appreciate that. Yes, okay, So Jackie, listen, we got a trouble here. We also have I'm sure a planned topic. What do we think prel okay, okay, dat drama. I love the drama. So Jackie Johnson, it's your time to I don't think so, honey. Live your time will start now.

I don't think so honey. Celebrities doing podcasts, Okay, listen, listen, we are all you see me improvisers trying to sell fucking quick tooth brushes. Just fucking pay our rent. Okay, fuck you on embarrass fucking coned. I really thought more of you. Fuck you, dat Shepherd and you're fucking armchair and you're fucking matching that. Kristen Bell's frozen residuals bought

come to my fucking apartment pretty seconds. I don't have a c I don't have a covered parking spot, so fucking us natch okay, by square space, by fucking blue Liberty and Oprah, Oprah. I'm really disappointed. You're worth two point eight billion fucking dollars and now you're selling Caspers. Have you ever stuck? Got a Caramader's oper now, bitch, second one every fucking night, use code match support comedians and that's one minute, Jackie Johnson, it's rule of culture

number forty nine. Use code nash shite, Jolly john please run for president and can start a podcast. And that wasn't what we wanted, our men. Here's an old pro coming to the stage, one of the icons of the form. The skin on these ladies. I could really teach a college course in this bullshit. You really could run back to. Don't be nervous, you're just like souling everyone. Now, you said you weren't sure, what are you gonna do? What

are you gonna do? Right now? You're said I had a pre select, but I'm a crazy bitch and I want a troll bag. I'm a rich ind and I'm don't know it though you know it, Oh my god, you know this is gonna be This is meant to be. I'm so happy you did this title. Man, you're I don't think so, honey. Trouball topic is Gwyneth Paltrow in

the lifestyle category even and your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Gwyneth Paltrow, because you fucking suck and we all hate you and leaking unite on that, okay, with your jade egg and your goop and your beauty secrets and all this ship. I look hot fucking too if I had a chef and his staff and I used to fuck Brad Pitt. The best you ever were was when you fucked Brad Pitt, and I'm sorry that you let him go. Seven was the best time for

you because your head got cut off. That's seconds. I don't even know what else you've been in. So you wear Calvin Klein and symmetrical bland colors. I don't give a funk about you change your hair. Black Danner is hotter than you, and that is something you have to seconds. You want to know who's a good actress your mom, You want to know who's a good musician. Your ex fucking husband named your kid Apple, and then you have the audacity to name your son, Moses, they will hate

you big that one minute. That was one minute that and I want to say something. I want to say something, right, heir? And now that was a real because she went negative. She went for Gwyneth Patrol's whole life. Who knows? Who knows how Greta really feels about Gwyne's Okay knows, It's unclear, is what she just did. And you know what it was like watching a new supreme come into being. Okay, And with this in mind, everyone, Emily fight mass I don't rip that suit right off? Okay, Emily, what are

we thinking? So there's a bowl. It just produced quite a result. There's also the pre planned, pre prepared if you will, option whatever you want. No, I've been upset for a while about this, and you gotta speak. So this is Emily fight Masters. I don't think so, honey, time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Fucking Oceans eight,

fucking lesbian melo drama. You play k Blanchet and Sandra Bullock in the same movie, and you refer to them as partners, and they get this close to each other, but they never fuck man fuck yes, yes, And I'm so tired of I love Kate, but she can't be a queer icon if the only thing she's known for his big Dike energy. But she's not a Dike in real life. Okay, that doesn't count. Okay, And Carol, I did some scientific research and it turns out I'm the

only fucking person in the world that's saw Carol. So how the fuck is Kate a queer icon from this movie? Y'all? And I don't think it's so honey. If you put Kate Blanchet in her fucking cheekbones in one more movie and she doesn't wear her female co stars pussy like a glove. Five seconds watching and that's one minute. Emily fight master, I'm Master of the farm. Unbelievable. It's true. She asked real questions all of a s and she's a queer icon. Have we seen her, like, really kissed

a woman? I don't know because I haven't seen Carol Mae. Alright, here she comes. I'm true icon at Suko. Oh my goodness, here we go and listen, we got the trouble, probably mini rule. I don't know what I see you. I see you trouble, but I think I'm gon troll on something. Here, Okay, troll on something there. Your time begins now. I don't think so, honey, Julie Chan, move this Asian wife, Asian wife of Let's move ves. That's why you're gonna hear

it twice tonight. Why, Auntie Chan, I do not think so? What did I move to the States illegally live in a garage for seven years? That's right for you to turn your back on me? What do you mean? What? Girl? We're both immigrants, grew up in poverty, both married a white man. Why we should be the same person? I mean, have seconds got through the same trials and tribulations? You turned your back? What? Oh to only to watch you on Big Brother signing off as I've been Julie Chan

Movis that hurt me? Oh, Julie Chan Movis whatever happened to Julie Chen being an independent woman? Oh? That really hurt me? And also what a shitty way to find out Big Brother was still on air? I have no happy take that sh off. Five seconds, Julie Chen, Let's just move this out of here one minute. Give it out for her, Julie one more time. Let's say one more time, Julie Chen, history will remember you, and I'm sorry, but we have another rule of culture. It's rule of

culture number ninety eight. Julie chen moonves at it here with that, and the obsession continues because Nicole, it's here, you are here. I make up inspired by Tracy Ellis Ross. Thank you, thank you. Tracy's gonna be doing and I don't think so, honey. So what is it gonna be? Is it gonna I'm a little scar but I think I'm gonna do the trollball? Yes she is, Yes, she is pry for me, right for me. She got training, she got training it. Okay, I like this one. I

like this one. I think this is good for you. Okay, Nicole, Yes you are. I don't think so, honey. Trollball topic is the legendary Clint Eastwood bring him down that your time starts now. Okay, I don't think so, honey, Clint Eastwood, listen up, bitch, your old ass bitch. You don't think that we don't know you an old ass, Rice is bitch. We don't like you. You still and look like my grandma. And you know what that is said for you. My

Grandma's hot. You got a problem, dude. I don't think so, honey, Clint Eastwood, you used to think you were some big, badass guy and I used the little man. When you get Clint Eastwood thirty seconds, I don't think so, Honey's old as dude. This ain't a Western anymore. Okay. I saw that movie where you're sitting on your porch being racist for those Asian people. You think that was okay. You directed that movie and you think that was okay? It was okay, Pleaswood, you're trying to play your stuff.

You're trying to play You're trying to make us pay sixteen dollars se see her racist movie. Five seconds Eastwood, I will say that your son is very freaking hot and you can call me anytime you want. Man, think so honey, yod you and even more extra points. You know what men shooting on Grand Torino. That is intersectionality. Okay, thank you, thank you. Please give it up for lifestyle Jackie Chompson and Title Fights. That was an extremely strong good.

That was the way to come out the gates Trump. But you know what, I'm excited about this next group. I'm excited about this next game. The next group is called ak Bar Trash. Everyone give it up for Jimmy Folly, Jerry Goldstein, John Hartman, Peter Kim and Justin Say, look at this act bar trash. Not one of these insight. Look at these act bar trash. So many sisters on the stage. So I with some trash. Let's start with Jimmy Folly. Please, Hey, bitch, we have the trouble here,

celebrated improviser. We also have I know, some fucking fabulous ideas up in that head. I don't know. I'm actually undecided. I don't know if I should do the trollball trouball. They're always gonna say, they're always gonna Okay, well, we'll see how this goes. I'll do the troll ball. Yes, here we go. You've ordered the troll ball. Okay, ball, it's giving you something. I think good. Your I don't think so, honey. Trollball topic Jimmy Fowley is Abraham Lincoln

and your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Abraham Lincoln. You think that you're so great because you're tall, is adding honey. I'm so tired of you coming around here being like I'm the sixteen president. Bitch. I've been following the elections and I'm not that impressed with sixteen. As far as I know, it's sixteen. You're on the penny high me. Oh wow, wow, that's really I mean, honey,

you're not to me anymore. Honey, I saw your face, and this is rude to call someone ugly, but that mole, like, there's other stuff you can do. Grow the beard up, I mean. And I don't think that I haven't heard the rumors about you. Honey. You're married, she loves you, be loyal. I believe you're married. Yes, honey. It's all gonna come down to this. That cherry tree, you chopped it down. Honey, I'm gonna chop you down. That's one minute. You guys don't say anything, don't want to say anything.

No one say God damn working. Here's the thing, I Jimmy, I wish Abraham Lincoln had chopped down that tree. We wouldn't tell you. And then at a hundred points, Jimmy Fairley, everyone but you had amazing points about the fact that he was gay. Oh really, another sister coming to the stage. Please give it up for Jared gold See look at those locks. Oh best tear in the room to male female non binary doesn't matter best hair. J you can decide. I've decided pre select that. So listen, Jared, You're I

don't think so, honey. Time we'll begin now. I don't think so, honey. The leper Con from the movie The leper Con. You are ugly and I don't like you. Bitch, you are too scary. I am still scared of you too this day, and I am thirty. It is not okay. It is sad. A friend of mine sent me a gift of the leper Con. It scared me so much I had to run up my stairs every night for three weeks. I'd don't think so, honey, You're too scary.

The only thing scarier in that movie was remember Anniston's original no, I don't care and to quote to quote, sister Pod seek treatment the leper Con. The leper can look at me, look at me, fix your face, fix your body, and stop scaring everybody's look. You have had so many sequels, but you will never be Glamor. In the fourth movie, you went to Space. In the fifth movie, you went to the Hood. This bitch went to the

Jupiter before she went to Compton. That's fucking racist. I don't think the Hondadson briefly seek treatment here tonight coming for Jay Anniston. Okay, another great cardigan coming to the stage. Please give it up for my friend art Man. Okay, I love City. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. Gonna be again another It's like it's crazy. The Trouball is screaming out. But you know what, I don't want to take the fact away that you might have an amazing professor.

He's got a great brain. Well, I'm going to do something near and dear to my heart. Um, it's the Trouball. Oh, I love it. I love it, I love it. We're getting lots of people. I don't know. Okay, maybe one of your idols. Yeah, I don't know. He's a Second City alone, is it, Julie Chen your I don't think so, honey. Trollball topic is in fact Steve Correll and your time begins now, I don't think so, honey, Steve Correll. Okay, maybe we both did come from the same hollowed institution

of the Second City. Let's forget that right now. What happened to your wife, nan Sea Wall? She had a wonderful career going and now she does opening bits on SNL for you, and you get to do everything serious movies, funny movies, theater. You know who else does theater that we aren't talking about thirty seconds Cherry Jones, the first woman of the American Theater. But we can't talk about her because Steve Correll is doing something instead. So I

don't think so, honey. Steve Correll. You brought your children to SNL, which is fine, that's a lovely gift for them. But I don't think so, honey. Welcome to Marwin. I don't know what it's about, but there's talk of a hate crime in it, and it doesn't look like you're doing something five for gay people in that five seconds left, I don't think so, honey. Over fifty years of L O L at Second City, only about five of them

were from you. That's what I'm so happy you brought this up, John Harmon, What the fuck is Welcome to Marrowin? Is your next favorite movie? Okay, I'm gonna see it probably opening day. I want to see it midnight midnight? Is it Barbies? I think it's Barbie's. I think it might be Barbies. He is supposed to be gay. To be continued anyway, Sister Peter can get up here, Hi, Peter Caim. I love to share the stage. I love to share the stage with What are we doing? Um?

I have something I want to rant about. Okay, I get Peter Kim. Your time begins now. Okay, I don't think so, honey, Tops who refused to eat? But okay, are you fucking crazy? My ass is like a hoofy in the winter. You gotta warm it up before you take all ride on. Okay, what the funk? Tops who don't eat? But what else do you bring it to the table? Residual misogyny? I don't think so, honey. Okay, bottoms have to do everything. We have to eat right, We have to clean out. We gotta sprints the hole

with the rosewater. What the fund are you bring? You come over with your dirty asked dick that's been scrunched up in box the briefs all day, and you set me to suck it. I mean I will because I was raised with manners. Honey. Okay, let me tell you as my body the cave of wonders and the secret pass code ain't open cess to me. It's I like rosewater on your ass, Honey. I don't think so, honey, that's culture, that's we just spent a long time, and that I don't think so, honey, grilling our friend who

doesn't eat butter. There's a few tops in here who aren't eating ass and we see you, and history will remember. Oh my god, the stage, this is an icon. He's the children. He's about to feed the children tonight. I am so sad he only gets a minute. Justin, justin, thank you for gracing Thank you? Do you like my outfit? I dressed as your mom doing a community theater production of Greece? And that is and that is exactly what she wore. That is what she wore. Were worst things

she could do? Justin, justin, there's there's two options, as you're probably well aware, Yes, I prepare something because it's my birthday tonight, and can we say happy birthday? And can we say happy birthday on three? One two three? And we don't have time? Justin, what are you gonna do? Oh you're gonna go your own pre select? Yes, your time begins now. I don't think so, honey. Planning your

birthday as an adult, I'm sorry. I don't want to clean my apartment for two days and buy a mountain of humus that nobody's gonna eat because your boyfriend's still on method. We're all not talking about it. I'm sorry that I'm gonna invite you over to my house and put out coasters, but nobody's gonna sucking use those coasters

because they're all ethens. And I'm sorry that you're just gonna sit around my house and bore up the place when we could be at a restaurant where when the bill comes, I watch you nickel and dime how much you love me. Birthday to me, for Christ's sakes, And I don't want your presents from Urban out there there said.

I don't want some stupid mug that has some funny saying on it or some RuPaul's drag rags jot if you want to buy me a present and Harry stuffs to sit on my fucking baste, because and that's what I want. I don't want to travel with you because you don't travel well, just like the Hummus. I'm stuck with my fucking reference my birthday, and I want to celebrate how I like. It's why I always carrying my keys in l A because I'm always going the fuck home.

And that's one Man Sayer and a rule of culture. It's rule of culture number one hundred. If you want to get me a birthday present, have harrys I'll sit on my face. Give it up for this off bar, Trashi Valley, Jared Goldstein, John Harden, Peter Kim, Iconic, Justin Sayer. Oh, he is not invited to my thirty feet where we will be going to Key West. Okay, this next group coming to the state. What what'd you say? I'm just sad. We're almost We're all like there at the end we

have three more groups of sucking Iconic. I don't think somebody's through it. It's really sad. This next group is called screaming infidelities. Give it up for Jan Salami, Breath Brewett, Drew Craft and Medicine Shepherd. Come on, iconic folks, now listen. I heard we have a one Jim Salami here, Jan Salami, here we go, get over here to the mic. Do you want some of these your condition condition? She did? Oh my god, Jan, she did a one in each nostril.

She's ready to go. Jan Salami. It's an honor to have you here first of all. J or Ms Salami, how do you prefer. Okay, So, Jan, you know how this works, right? You know where you are the Whole Foods. Yeah yeah, um so at this Whole Foods. We got a troll ball and that there's topics in it. You can talk about for sixty seconds, or you can do your own thing to talk about something very important to talk about. Okay, Jam, okay, Jam, one minute, Jan, you

got one minute, and that minute begins. Now I'm really feeling that thing. I snowed o. I don't think so, honey. The big fake teeth from Bohemian City. I wanted to ride my bicycle out of the theater. Now take it from a woman who has snorted cocaine of Freddy McCurry's ass and spit it right back into his mouth. No, no, no, no, no, those teeth were not that big, because sorry, Rammy, Rammy, schmummy, it's not art or method. Okay, uh, it's distracting. The

camera adds ten pounds and it adds a few molders too. Okay, Scaro, no one's going on fandango to go back. Now, let me tell you how many times I'm so hot hive seconds? Can anybody fathery someone who won't made the movie about do it right instead of about Chris Lions who designed the teeth. That's what the movie was about. Thank you, I'm sorry you got so high. No double scorpio there real ammu nitress. Okay now, breathe, bruett Oh, I didn't know it was a two piece. I did not know

it was look and thank you for delivering. Thank you, thank you for feeding my family. What is it gonna be tonight? Is it going to be a pre selector? Is it going to be? As much as I want to make you happy, I have to pre select. That's fine. It all makes us happy. It all makes us happy. Breathe, you know what you're I don't think so any time

it starts now, I don't think so, honey. Movies in which someone falls in love with a fat woman because of literal magic no no, no, honey, no no no rom com rebel Wilson vehicle, no no, no no no. Here's a list of things fat women do not need to fall in love. A magic, a brain injury, a gypsy's curse, high stakes bet, an emotional connection. Bitch, there's a man in Seattle wants to marry me because we've made out one time on me. No, no, no, honey,

we're not doing it. Honey. We're not shallow howling, We're not I feel pretty. In fact, we're not even referring to Amy Schumer as fat anymore because she's a white person who upholds normal beauty standards. Honey, she's gone an outsider on the answer. Honey, you have to tell real stories about fat woman, Hollywood. Buy them from me. I already wrote them. I tell you about the bad meetings all that time that feel bad for fat woman in two thousand nineteen, because we're coming for your men and

your money. Honey, I think that makes you some sort of alderman in West Hollywood. Yeah, I don't know. I felt that one in my toe. I don't think somebody did it for me. Alright, Mr drew Craft, please get to them. Thank you for this top. You are welcome, just for you. Thank you, said fashion. And I brought as best as I could. And hello, fashions don't stay just this moment. So it's subjectives that the fashion means blue camo, so we have you know, famously, there's a

troll ball. I'm going to do a little pre selected drew Craft, your time begins now. I don't think so, honey. People who stay dumb shipped to Ginger's yep, okay, I'm sick of your ship. No, just because I'm the only Ginger and my family doesn't mean I'm adopted. It is a recessive trade. Bitch. Oh you you want to know why Gingers are hot headed? Because every celebrity quiz tells you that you look like Karen top That is off and said bait. That is offensive to any human alive.

Were you curious if the carpet matches the drapes? Yes it does? When does it not match the drapes? Why are you asking? You're not gonna see and you gaze, don't fall for it. Debra Messing is not a natural redhead. Gay emojis were released and we have two options male female, and Mermaid is the third because wouldn't be true. Craft crafts crazy and and l A comics singing unbelievable. That's gonna be in fighting now, in fighting in the community. Speaking of an l A comic, Please welcome the very

funny Jonathan right. Oh ja, he love the girls, love the love your choice. Someone stole my fucking topic, Kim, Peter, Kim stole my topic. So what now? I mean the question we have to I don't know what to do. I'm doing I I have no trolls choice. But did you Troball? I love it when you're back into a corner. I love it. I love it when you're back into a corner. Joel Kim Booster said that I love it when you're back into a corner. Alright, fight or flight?

Fight or flight? Okay, Okay, I don't know actually how this is gonna go for you. You might have a lot of different feelings, so your I don't think so, honey, Trouball, topic is vegan is um and your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, vegan iss um. Okay, we are animals. What do you have against eating animals? Okay? I would eat most of you in a pinch. Okay, I don't care about a dog. I don't care about a lamb, and I don't care about a cow. I

definitely don't care about a human. I am I eat meat, bitch. I don't fucking care. How many of you guys are beating? Raise your hand, Raise your hand right now? One person? Everyone else tail here eats meat to people, but she's drunk as fuck. I don't think so, honey. Vegan is of me is how we survived, It nurtures us. It's how Joel got this fucking leather hat. It's made of real cow. I know the name of that cow. The name of that cow is okay, that's one minute. Thank

you say their name. Their name was La and Joel killed them for this. It'sleather. It's leather. Note all right, he killed. Closing out this group is please give it up for Madison Shepherd, giving you just a peak, just a peak? Hi, Hi, can we do for you? Look? My manager's here, I'm I'm pre selected. What's doing it for Madison's manager? Everybody get her that temper? Madison? Your time begins now. I don't think so, honey. Theater coming

for you. Excuse me. They say that the theater is dying. Honey. Well that's the case. Find your light and step into it. Honey. Fucking cross over, bitch, because you're done. Do you know what theater is? Okay? Um? Nobody wants to see your gender swapped color blind production of Grease near the airport Honteing. Not for fifty dollars a ticket, not even with a

promo code. Honey, I can't Maria from accounting. I haven't never wanted to know what your lady McBee was like out damn spot indeed, honey, thank you ten um okay, okay bye for the theater. And to be honest, I would see that gender swapped version of Grease by the airport terminal to thank you up for screaming inftalities Cat Party, free true Crab, Jonathan R. Medicine Shepherd and it's cat polar Party. I'm sorry, cap all right you guys the penultimate group coming to the stage. Are you ready for

a Legends ball? Please give it up for Casey Salva, Sorry, Jesse Davison and Frances. Come on, y'all come up the different there to find the fact that no one has come here before. My god, and we got a wild

card on the stage as well. I'm so sorry, please, Fresh off the heels of seeing the Queen herself Dolly Parton, she saw Dolly Parton, didn't think she can make it Dolly in Earli and now she's here Lydia Papovitch right in case you are first to the should have been in the act bar trash group because exactly have some hi take some to and then tell us what you're gonna I don't think so, honey. Your troll balls so my head, okay, so pre selected. It sounds like, oh, there,

go for it, and your time begins. I don't think so, honey. Shaming plastic straw use, it's fucking discriminatory against those of us who want to drink a zesty blood orange diet coke while wearing lipstick or full face. Okay, if I want to drink cancer through a piece of trash, my body, my choice, and sure, straws are just disposable pieces of thin plastic. But so has half the population of los angeless.

Who's gonna be in all the movies if l A starts banning plastic garbage, just regular looking people like Jonah Hell and all the straight boys from your Mad team. Gross fucking fucking what ever? Um, Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm still more concerned about years of discrimination, years of institutionalized race, years ofalized racism, instead of what some sea turtle got stuck up its nose. And I am I the only person who saw that sea turtle with a sucking straw

up his nose. It was like that reptile knows how to party way not everybody shall be drinking juice. Think your juice shall be there. We go, Casey Lie Health is coming to a little Miss America wave just to say, hey, Asha, what are we thinking? We're working. We're going to use the thinker and give them something I thought about, Asha Alfa, your time begins now. I don't think so, honey. Women in two thousand and eighteen who asked me when I'm

going to change my last name when I just got married? Okay, have you heard my name Aisha Alpha? It sounds like a name that I got to choose and did. Okay, I sound like a bond villain from Wakanda. I mean, people tell me, but it's okay. You can go buy Asha Green. Nay Alpha Alpha, bitch, I was Nay Alpha. I'm gonna die Alpha. It's insane. All of my social media is my first and last name. Everything at Alpha, not I Sha Underscore Alpha sixty nine. It's just me.

People's one. You think I'm gonna change that and then confuse and disappoint my literally dozens of fans seconds. I don't think so, honey. Okay, it's just the patriarchy trying to make me feel invisible again. As a woman, but I have a strong alpha female that's not gonna change. And I'll tell you this, it's not my husband who asked me to change it because he wants my last name. That's one then as alpha Alpa, I want your last name, marry me. People think I made up Booster. Okay, oh

my god. We got another bi coastal beauty kind of stage her name and she just moved. Here is me. She was bi Coasta currently. She was like, is it me? She's by UM's by me? Famously trained at the Annoyance Theater in Crooklyn. True shady bitch for three people in the audience. Um, I ever did poppers only time with Joel Kim Booster during Yeah, because he forces you to do it. It's harassment during during I'm concert. I don't think so, honey, you went to an eminem concert. You're

both discussed. When he says bitch, it really does sound like a slur. We left early, okay, we did go um um, I am gonna I'm gonna do trouble. Wow, Yes, it's my I never do trouble. I'm gonna do it. You never do And you told me you had another thing, you know, and I'm just gonna say for the fans it was new Grinch. Okay, I do like this for you, though, Okay, I don't even know what. I don't think, so honey. Trouball topic is the Atlantic Ocean. I don't think so honey,

Atlantic Ocean. You are cold, you bore me, your sand is bad. I don't like you. You're by all the worst dates. How about you be buy a hot place. Okay, Atlantic Ocean. I haven't seen one dolphin in you, and my family went to South Carolina all the time. Atlantic Ocean, Um, how about be a more interesting ocean like Pacific where you can actually surf. I never heard of someone surfing in the Atlantic Ocean, and if it is happening, no one's talking to me about it, and I would like

to know. I don't think so honey, Atlantic Ocean because you touch. You touch the Cold States too, and an ocean should be hot. I should be able to swim in an ocean year round. I don't think so honey, Atlantic Ocean because you go all the way over to other countries and I don't feel like I don't think so honey, Atlantic Ocean because if I want to go to Europe, I'm gonna fly. That's one wants nothing to do with the cruise across the Atlantic. If she's going

to Europe. Fuck you for putting the Atlantic Ocean in there, you stupid bitch. You're the dumbest bitch I ever met. Chelsea Davisson. Please come to the stage. She is getting us full SAG Awards beauty though like your heels three times? You do? You want to know what great I bought these in eighth grade. Yes, they're back, Horner, I said, turn look, she said, I'm going to get my eighth grade shoes. Okay. So, Chelsea, yeah, a bed of the show you know about? You know about? You know, I'm

gonna go with with my own way. Your time begins now. I don't think so, honey. Pugs, Okay, Pugs, you look like a burrito someone dropped on fresh asphalts. Okay, Pugs, you look like a potato left in a bathtub. Pugs, you look like fat Mr Bean. Okay. And why do you have so many health problems? Pugs? Were you exclusively bread and chair noble? I mean, guy's wrong. I've seen tumors healthier than you. Pugs. I mean, have hurt yourselves. I mean plugs. Do you sound like that weird guy

on the bus who's just sweating everywhere? You know, what is wrong with you? I mean pugs. You can't even be born naturally. Most of you are delivered by six pugs. If you can't find your way out of a birth canal, maybe you don't deserve on this to be here on this earth pugs. And then I don't think so, honey. People who buy selling pugs. If you're buying a pug, you're basically dr Moreau. Okay, it's just a thousand dollar fuckut evolution. It's in bread and that's one people loved

dogs us on fire. If you love pugsuck you my favorite name of the night coming to the stage. Chessca ane in my mouth and our next are warm? Yes? And our brands are they warmer? Or do we need the trollball? We need the trouble? We don't need it. We've been thinking all the way over here, and Francesca, you're I don't think sotime, Honey, time begins now. I don't think so, honey. Coca Cola Polar Bear ad campaign,

you're still here. You know who's not Polar Bears? Okay, what kind of sick corporate fuck wants to feed corn syrup to an endangered species to put us in the holiday spirit. That doesn't make me want to deck the hall, to make me want to deck an oil executive. Honey, fuck, have you seen are bears recently? They're emaciated. They don't look like they drink coke. They look like they do coke. I don't know whether to save them or a fall them into the bathroom. I don't think so, honey, Coca

Cola Polar Bear ad campaign. Co Cola, your carpet footprint is the reason that the Polar Bears are extinct. Okay, that's like if Odine made mac Miller the face of their new campaign. Thank oh yeah, I guess what. They don't give a funk about Christmas because they are white, fierce, and they are always under attack. They're Jewish. Bit that's one man something to think about here tonight. I hope, I hope, Arianna, here's this episode and close out this

group of budgeons ball please welcome Lidia. Hello, Hello, queen, Hello there, what are we doing tonight? Now? You're high on Dolly? So I am high on Dolly and I'm torn because I kind of want to talk about it, but they're also angry about other things. Who knows, you know what? Go with what you're most angry about God? I mean Dolly Parton. Okay, I'm ready, you're ready. Okay, Lydia Popovich, your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, James Gordon, who the fund do you think you are?

You don't have a motherfucking icon like Dolly Parton on your show and then have the audacity to sit her next to Twiggy, asked Jennifer Aniston, and then talk over a bit? What is wrong with you? Dolly Parton is a shining beam of original God light. She is here to light the entire earth that we can find our way and know the pure joy exists on this earth. Sconds, And you want to talk to this bitch about ghosts in a house in Laurel? Can you get the funk

outta here? Dolly Parton relieved that she actually has tattoos all the way down between those precious titties under her stuff, like and you didn't have the time to ask her about that, but I know that Jennifer Aniston's roommate was a cut fuck you Chans called it. I want to hear this bitch sing. She didn't sing one fucking note. He had her hum into a kazoo, which is adorable.

And I get it. I love the pan. But if dolly sucking part and that's what that's what dolly fucking parton man, it's rural culture number sixty eight, it's dolly fucking part. Jen Aniston is some real collateral damage tonight, she is. This is not a safe space for her. Here's the region under that bus that Mary Holland does not want to see her. Is she here? Imagine she were to step forward, we would all lose our minds.

We'd all take it back, all right, you guys, that was a let's ball casey Lie, I Shall, Chelsea Davison, Francesca Fiant. Unfortunately, y'all, this is gonna be our last group coming up right now? Are you ready for it? Are you ready for it? Oh? Wow, that's a funny, that's are you ready for it? Because this group is called Taylor Swift, Tay Taylor Swift, Swift Swift, and please welcome Alexandra Ford, Sue Elisa in Paris and Tammy saying, oh, some looks, some looks like Alexandra. Thank you, my very

exciting Alexandria. Hello, now she brought the jumps to what are we bringing? Are we bringing your idea? And you're percolating with no. This has really been hard my heart. For months. This has been and you gotta get it out, girl, You gotta get it out. So get it out right now your time begins. I don't think so, honey. The romanoffs on Amazon Prime. If you don't even know what the funk that show is, congratulations, But I do. I

am a real Anastasia head. I have a gorgeous thirty two bar cut of Journey to the Past, so I know I know what a show called The romanofs about

the last Imperial family of Russia should be. Bitch And it is fur, it is snow, it is sex, it is Samovars, it is Winter Palace, Summer Ballace, and Jude Law has a hot resputed Do not give me what you gave me Amazon, which is ten episodes ep by noted creep Matthew Weiner about a bunch of boring white idiots who think they might need be kind of related to the Ramazon Also, if I wanted to watch a show where boring white actors go over who their relatives?

Right be, I'd be watching who do you think you are? On t S. Also, every episode of the show is ninety motherfucking minutes long. Do you know what I want to watch for ninety minutes? Paddington? That's it. That's one man. Alexandrasandra Ford stunning. We're gonna need to hear that. Thirty two bar cutoff. Journey to the journey to the past, whispered into my year later. All right, another bicoast of beauty, Saith, Now you've got the red pants, we've got a red ball.

What's it's crazy going to be? Sorry? She she knows her, she knows her heart, Sue Smith, your time begins now. I don't think so, honey, adult to her into Disney, I'm sorry, it's fucking weird, it's creepy. You're a pedophile. We'd get it. You had a happy child, hud You you came from money, your parents could afford the channel. We get it. Meanwhile, I'm sitting alone in my shared living room with a TV watching fucking snack. We get it. You had a pool, you went to our Lando every year.

We get it. Also, Walt Disney is fucking problems and also you will never be sitting cerella. I don't think so that's quite enough that you know what, that's quite enough. There's been a lot of attacks on me personally in a night. I'm glad someone finally took down Matt Thank you, Sue. Are you kidding me? Someone said, is singing funny? And

there wasn't. I don't think the many New York comics, and now I have to deal with this fucking bullshit attacking Disney, which honestly is having birthday parties, and that's my thing. Was he what can someone answer me? This was he buried with Nazi Ship. We'll never know, We'll never know, we'll never know. A group later at the time, Ship, please give it up for a listen in Paris, love to bring her up to Nazi Ship. This is a talk about later at precincts where we'll discuss this in Paris.

Here's the thing, What are we fucking doing? Are we doing the trouble? Are we doing you? I can't, I can't, and I'm so sorry to pile on and ruin some people's evenings, but I do not think a GLOSSI A okay, why are your models faces so wet? What happened? Why did they go swimming? Why are they say? You're selling me water? You're like, oh no, it's to make you look naturally beautiful. No, that's a gorgeous model whose face is wat Okay. If I went outside with a wet face,

people would say, sweetheart, do you have the flu? Are you okay? Also also okay, the boy brow, that's their big thing. Your eyebrows, bigger girl. I'm Greek and Italian? Okay. I came out of the wound with a full bush. I don't need your hair. I came out in the doctor. I was like, we're gonna cut the umbilical cord and we're gonna trim the mustache. Okay. Second, I don't need to play forty dollars for your hair. I can just wait ten minutes. I can go from this. Don't free

to callow in a commercial. I don't think so, honey, Paris legendary grief sister, Oh my goodness, another gorgeous woman with a gorgeous brow coming to the stage. Jamie, Please report, Please report to the principal's office. Now, how are you color story? I love the coach story beginning? What don't we doing tonight? J good am? I what may I start? Well? What do you want to just consider? I have a take. I know I'm penultimate, but I have a strong, strong take.

The word will begin now. I don't think so, honey, middle school horse girls, who the fuck do you think you are? I don't know when it became the epitome of young Caucasian womanhood to straddle an oversized dog with teeth the size of my fist. But that's out of my tax bracket and quite honestly, my comfort zone. I don't want to do it, honey. I don't want to go to Bible study and straddle a dog. I simply don't.

I also do firmly believe that every middle school horse girl is actively campaigning a smear campaign on any girl who doesn't also play the piccolo. So, honey, I would like to personally say, why be a middle school horse girl when you could be a middle school back braise o bow players. It's a little too into porny Roman mythology. I don't think so. That's one minute A real question post there now the question of why, Wow, you guys, we are down to our last performer, and this woman

this woman. Her writing on television shows has shaped all of our comedic voices, the iconic Tammy Fanny sega, Oh my god, it makes it makes me proud, It makes me proud. All right, Tammy, we have the trouball here, it be there without you. What are your god? Why do you thinking? What do you got? I don't need the trouble because I'm looking at my troubal Oh okay, I don't know what that means, but your time begins now. I don't think so, honey, making me be the closer, okay, bitch,

I don't do stand up. I can't close anything. I'm talking, not even a fucking cupboard in my home. And maybe I do that so I can pretend I live with an inconsiderate man. But I don't close, okay. And I don't think so, honey. People who prepared and turned to look and emailed you in advance because they have another show to go to the other walk that all night. I see you, Sabrina Jelise, and I read through that sharpie that showed that she took my spot. I don't

think so, honey. People who use the trouble tonight even fucking killed it every single one of them, because I've listened to that. I don't think so, honey, and they have not always even known who they were there, like John for Anderson, I don't know that, or Alex Song. You are an adorable improviser, but here you say what is the trouble? Maybe hate you for a brief second take. So those of you who are plodded cheer when we came at New York Comedians because New York might be

making my hair gray. But you all are not brave for choosing great weather and copious entertainment comedy. That's one minute. You're not brave. You are not it was brave. Please give it up for Taylor swim Smith and Tammy Listen. I'll be the first two minute. I moved here because I'm a coward and not moving here because there's nothing left for me there. Everyone has Abster, Thank you so much for coming here, Bow and Yank senses love. My name is Matt Rogers. Thank you to everyone. We're gonna

say all their names. Lauren Hols, Alexis Cheese, Kansas Thompson, Big Dipper, I'll ask a thunderful gay believe w town Backs Sabrina Julie's just ping a fucking clap, Mean christ As, Tony Newsom, Price, Peterson, Dan Robert, Michael, Benjamin and Milliam Sacknoy Towers, My Castle, It Different, Zaylauren Labkus, Jackie Johnson, that a Title Man, Emily Five Buster at SUSA, Nicole Cleman, Jimmy Valley, Jared Dolson, John Harmon, Peter Kim, Justin Sayer, Catarty,

reprew It, Drew Grab, John Rollo, Casey Liefa Harry, Chelsea Davison, Francesco, Lydia Popovich, Alexandra Ford, su smith A, Lissa Embarrass, Jamie Loftus, Danny say I love you, Thank you so much for coming, Thank you so much, Thank you, by bye. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Baham,

Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook