"Hogbook" (w/ Maria Bamford)

can sub. You can sub the XP for other sounds as well, like I tried out today on a text. At least I said, oh my gox, which I liked when you did that, which sounds fun. Yeah, I really like it. Yeah, and our guest is into it. I believe our guest is into it. Maybe she's giving me, maybe she's going to fake us out and say I hate it. We'll say, I have a feeling this guess is gonna like it. Our guest, Um, wow, this is this is this is really special. This is a moment. Yeah,

this is a moment. I just to like, we'll bring her in. But you know I just have to embarrass her. I will embarrass her. No, I mean her specials, her albums, incredible, how to Win Unwanted Thoughts, syndrome, old baby like it just such good stuff, the special special special like truly what like a pre eminent mind, I think really really such such an admire many many of our finest comedian's favorite comedian there you go out of course, Lady Dynamite.

Just an incredible, incredible show. Um, and so we're so happy to have with us today. Maria Bamford, I feak so great folks, Yes, great folks, great folks. You know it could it could mean something else, but we know in context you can. You guys have used it as so good so well honestly up. Yeah. The what it really takes it to the next level is the of corks of course cos. And you think maybe we know wine corks, quirkboard, it's of cos and people have um

been tweeting yex of corks and back to us. After we announced it at our live show at the we announced it as a new thing in the cultural canna, which is how you things catch on. You have to force that. I'm going to take that home and I'm going to at least say it to seventeen people. Seventeen people, and you know, five of them. I think five of them will continue on. You know what stayed with me. One of your phrases that stayed with me is um,

I don't know if you remember this hog book. Oh yes, hogbogg book true words together that are delightful to say. It was my screen name for my Okay Cupid problem, which is your husband? How I met my husband? One guy responded to hogbook and it was the right guy And it was the right guy my because you put some vague on there on your profile, like uh, I put thoughtful, funny or something yeah too wide a net. No, no, no, everyone everyone wants thoughtful and funny, but not everyone wants

hog book. And if you do want hog book, like you know, you have to connect with people who like the same words as you. Yeah yeah, and I love or yeah love the words in the same way that you love words. And he is like hog book? What the who is this lady? Right? And which is where some people wrote me and said hog book. Did you know that's the word for a log book that a pilot keeps in the cockpit. Yeah, I don't care. I

don't care. I like how it sounds babe okay or the oral a you are a l experience, thank you? Or you're not trying to bag a pilot, are you? No? No? No? Can I tell you my favorite word? But it is a Spanish word mola backpack. Yes, Sheila. When I've heard about la mochila, I was like, that's it for me? Was it do the explorer thing? No? You know what? Ideo was mochila. She often says mochila because she has a mochila. I believe it's a Tienna mochila. She has

a mochila one backpack, short, good one. I guess I have to give the credit against She's going to make it on the podcast against Senorita Ford. Seniory to four or sixth grade? Finished that was ninth grade, ninth grade. But I love that she was Senorita Ford. That's another that's like a hogbook situation where it's like two words that just you know, they don't You don't think they would go together, but then they comically they work. There's a comic dissonance to it. Wouldn't you say, oh, yeah,

I was sure. Um grew up in California, Maria. No, no, you were born here. I was born here. I grew up in Minnesota. But I get my dad was in the Navy, so I grew up or born in the naval hospital. My god, No, you shouldn't. Nobody should know any of these things. Aren't anyone? Absolutely? My spouse maybe maybe invasive? Now this invasive and now it's too much. Now I know too much. Know the mystery is gone gone.

We have a friend who has long the silhouette of Long Island tattooed on his bicep, and we said, when did you get that? He said last year? I was like, okay, and and for what reason? Long Island pride, not even gay practice? He grew up there? Or Okay, so it wasn't it because of a certain seminal experience, he said? He said, right, I had. I went to Long Island and I thought this is a beautiful country. No. But honestly, if I could have a state or a region tattooed

on me, I guess I would have to be Florida. Okay, but that is that is because you have had seminal. I'm I'm a Disney person. How does that make you feel? Well? Mixed. I did work for Disney as a secretary in the very boring part of the show. I was in the show that's very quiet and grim, a lot of getting coffee and hustling experience. It's not fun um, but you're

still a part of the shower. When they tell you you're a cast member, that has to feel exhilarating in some way, even if you know the reality is a lot of sitting and an administrative work, administrating and still answering phones when somebody says, yeah, there's a lot of legal um where people can't use anything that has worked in the legal department, where it's like anything that looks like Mickey So like some poor lady in Guatemala is just making like Mickey Mouse, you know, quilts just for

funzies out of her and they came for her. Oh yeah, no, no, no, they everybody goes down. So wait, here's a question. Working for Disney, even in the legal department, do you still have to be like this? Well, I mean I tried, I tried my best. Um, I've certainly I did almost get I I didn't get fired. This is one of the worst things that I ever did. I was a receptionist, and I was substituting for another woman who had left

a half eaten chocolate rabbit from Easter on her desk. Now, albeit, I need to bring my own snacks, okay, but I cannot bear when someone leaves something delicious. You're gonna just you're eating that slowly. I ate it up. She tracked me down within the mail system at Disney called me and said, what the hell you ate my chocolate rabbit? And and I was very ashamed. It has not stopped me from stealing other people's food. And you have to keep being you who you are and this is what

you steal. But this is what I have to say, and not to not to put this in a victim blaming situation. She left that on display. Also, I love the grabit on display. You're not gonna not eat it, It's not for nothing, But you don't just leave chop it out, because honey, it's real culture number forty four. Sure Easter don't and I was gonna. In addition, it's chocolate will melts. Absolutely, she didn't think of that. That's why she didn't think of that. But it's chilled, it's

chilled inside them. A Mauschwitz it's like very that. It's very nice conditioning system, but not inside those suits. People in those suits who have to live in the tunnels. Are they air conditioned? Though? Because I also I never like whenever they say, well, don't worry those suits because you see them and they are in Orlando, Florida, which is a tropical climate decided, and they say, don't worry, the suits are air conditioning, And I'm like, how could

that be? Do you have in tell I don't have intel. I have been inside one of a suit like that. Uh get me the Minnesota pickle, thank you. But it was hot and awful. It gets to be like a hundred degrees. You don't know which way you're walking, kids are kicking you. It's not no, yeah, it was okay. Would you does that rank as one of the worst odd jobs? Well? Actually just auditioned and then I heard the war stories and other former pickles in the audition

room and they're like yeah. I mean sometimes I was at the Iowa State Fair and I just started running and I was like and these were grown man, and I was just like, you know what, Um, I'm a tony Leddy. I'm not going to drive down to Iowa and do that kind of nonsense. Take a tour like that, Yeah, I'd rather do it without the suit, you know, like if you're going to chase me, I want to be known for who I am. So you had in the suit, Yes, you have to put on the suits. That was the

one time you had it. Yeah, yeah, I just imagined all the horrors, so I didn't. But I have been a costumed character in a park. I was a bare in the Star Trek Deep Space nine franchies, very briefly was being showcased, I believe for a number of years, a few years, and I came out to Los Angeles. Was one of the reasons I got to move out here. They're paying six hundred bucks a week for you to

walk around with a vulcan and a kling on. I just had to wear a tight space outfit with some false false breasts because that's part of my culture and do Jack in the Box openings, and it was it was a delight. That's I mean, it is a pretty good gig, like you know, and you bring people joy. I guess that's my thing. With the Disney employees and

like people that do that. It's always like I don't understand how you maintain a level of almost manic positivity and joy even when people and you know, look the people that go to Disney, especially the Magic Endom. It's a lot of families with tired kids. It's stressful. So I don't understand how you can have guest interactions which most of the time like probably are frustrating, but keep up that level of Disney happiness. Well, aren't they They

they're silent, right, nobody says anything. Well, but then people in the suits, but on a customer service level, like you can like walk up to a hostess and just be in the worst mood, be the biggest jerk and be like I want a table now, and then they just have to smile through it. Yeah, well I did

send some passive aggression. We went to Avatar Land because now they have I don't know, Animal Kingdom has like the World of Avatar Pandora, And there was like a very long line for like the State of the Art attraction there, and one person came up to a cast member who's like smiling through it dealing with people who don't want to wait, and the guys like is this seriously? The line um can can I have my drink in there.

She goes, actually, no, you can't bring an alcoholic beverage in um and like or something like that, like some beverage. But she was like, and he was like, what are you talking about, Like that's not the policy, and she was just like that's always been our policy. And you saw that little glimpse of like, I don't like this, but but she had the smile and like, as far as anyone could tell or report, she was happy when

she said it. Yeah. I mean she has her finger on the button if anything goes down, if any woman starts to get a gro like, she just shoot opens up and you're taken out of the magic Kingdom. Yeah. Um. Then I also heard about their the underpaid people at the parks and people are yeah, and people are living in their cars, uh to work there. And I thought to myself, that's that's not happy. That that can't be happy. Yeah, that,

oh my god, for sure. Well, the the New York Times is gonna a serious about it, so it has to be true. Do you consider yourself an adventurous theme park type or you kind of when you have a vacation, like the silence and the quiet and the books. Oh, I do like a book. Unfortunately, but unfortunately well, I mean for you guys. I mean it's not I'm not, that's not. We're embracing it. Okay. This last weekend we went to see Yola Tango in the Desert and that

was fun. And I don't know anything about music, so I brought my scrap booking supplies where I sat in the back when it was at Papian Harriet's, this desert outpost place. And I sat there and then the man came, you know, people who were sick or taken out by

security sat by me on the bench. I got vomited by and I got and uh center for outcasts, Center for outcast, and I just anyways, I was my version of scrap booking as I cut out pictures from magazines and then paste them inside of of used books and

then give them to my friends for Christmas. That's lovely. Now, what is what is the visual visually compelling thing in an image that will make you want to say, I'm well because my lady, my friends with middle ladies, It's always something, you know, like an adult diaper or like a not your not your daughter's jeans. Okay, okay, so it's not like Jonas as a hot boy Charlie Pooth. No, No, although he's very they're very cute boy. Song attention is

very attention. Do you have a favorite hot young new star. Well, I really loved watching um I'm the one video with Justin Bieber and all of his pals D and DJ and its just the discomfort they had as they were kind of like standing around casually as this gorgeous woman hanging out on a horse. It just it was so bizarre and really uh, it was very sweet in the discomfort. Yeah, I just they didn't look that. They were definitely looking

at the camera really hard, like this looks cool. Yeah, we're playing it off the music videos these days they're getting pretty cool. Yeah, did you They just get cooler and cool. They just get cooler and cooler. I believe because of the money. The money. Yeah. And I tell

you what, what what music video just made me cry? Which one in five They have a neuvid music video called girls Like You and that they have it's like and Levina is like singing and being handsome Adam Levine And that's a very good It was impressionist, um clearly, but the cameras circling around him, and as it does, you see like another Like every revolution there's a new sort of famous celebrity woman. And you know it's just kind of like a it's kind of like a name dropping

music music video. But I believe the intense is like all types of like all types of what do we just see? Its like what we all types of beauty? Yes, and the inner beauty and they're just dand singing, being themselves and being celebrating different individuality and wonderful. And then the last shot is him with Bihati, his gorgeous wife and their baby, and he gives a hug and it's you can that's his girl like girl like you sure

will cried it got me, I don't. I don't know if I love that about myself that I crowded a Maroon five videos. No, there's nothing wrong with that. I watched Maroon five video with Cardie B. I love Miss Cardi B. This is the one that's comes in. Okay, yeah, so you will. You watched the Cardi part, which is kind of the best part from Cardi. I'm a Cardi fan because I think I saw it on her Instagram feed. Yes,

she comes in and she has a lovely verse. She rhymes her own name with Harley Harley Cardy CARDI like Harley Harley. That's a good um. We call that a slant rhyme. It's not a slant ruy. Well, what is a slant room. It doesn't have the exact same syllabic um, you know, analoggusness. I'm just calling words out and now

La goose. Wait, one more thing about the the I'm the one video I think out of all of them, and let me know if you agree with me, Maria, I think Chance the Rapper is the least comfortable to be. To be there is the guy with the elaborate teeth work, not the elaborateeeth work, this guy in the baseball cap and in the facial her and he's just kind of an adorable guy, just like kind of dancing around. He's just like, I don't really, this is awkward, this is strange.

He's the most like he's winking at the audience the most. But anyway, did you happen to see the new Jennifer Lopez video. It's called dinero. And let me tell you that's another good word. You care mass. That's basically the chorus, You'll want money, and then she goes which is of course money three times. Now. Jennifer Lopez is absolutely a fabulously wealthy woman, and she shows that off in the video.

And then the last shot, the very last shot, she's in a saw anna and next to her is a unicorn, because of course she because we're to believe that she has so rich that she has a unicorn, and Mariana confused. Do you look confused, perturb I bet she thought unicorns. Everyone has different, uh, different definitions of what luxury means. That having a unicorn in a sauna with me, that

doesn't That's not my go to. But when you're Jennifer Lopez, I guess, like when you have everything right, what's the one thing you don't have? Something that doesn't exist on this plane of reality. This is a fun little and with an animal, let's put it somewhere it can't live. Now, this is this opens up a good discussion. Let's I think we each go around and talk about what our idea of luxury and wealth means in in one setting.

So I'll start. I'll say I've got um on one hand, uh, a diet sprite, another nice coffee, a little bit of a little bit of half and half. Just um, cold brew or ice coffee, ice coffee, coldbrew. I can't, I can't deal with just the It makes me crazy. Just it's too concentrated. But it's a nice coffee. But it's not a water down hot coffee either. So um. And then I'm just you know, I'm just at home playing playing a great video game. Um, and then just eating

a gorgeous, gorgeous pasta meal. All right, what about you, mail, Let's let's go, let's go this. So I have a disease where every night I dream about theme parks. I can't explain it, but every single night of my life there's a theme park in my dream. Have you been to the other theme parks abroad? Like the way I sometimes do travel around? Like one time I was in um Ohio and I wanted to go to Cedar Point. Yeah, so it's like it's like the roller coaster palace of

the world, but it was too far. So I went to Paramount King's Island by myself, and I like I was being a nerd, like writing these like wooden roller coasters I had always wanted to do my whole life, and actually behind me in line or like other like coaster people, and I got into a discussion with them that I couldn't believe I was having about like the angles of the track, like it's really tortu. Yeah, like it's I it was coaster talk. It was um and

it was of course in two thousand six. But I think that my idea of fabulous wealth would be to be able to after the after a theme park closed, is to be able to rent it out like you know these whenever I'm leaving a theme park and like you see them setting up buffet tables, I'm like, whose it for? I want to be invited to that wedding and to be able to do whatever you want in the theme park, like even a major one, like I have it for the night. You want to run out

all of them the Universal City Walk. Yes here and just for me, and honestly by canet, just for me. It would also be about hundreds of my closest friends and then being able to walk down from ride to ride and be like Stacy Mark Giovanni, you know, like everyone's there. Have you met Stacy Mark and Giovanni had something? I don't know one person named any of those things. You know a mark, you must know mark. I don't think I've ever met a mark, but just know that

when you do, it's a sign of luk. Here, I'm gonna be like, you're all coming with me to the buffet tables setting up at City Walk. What I mean. What I mean by that is I'll just it'll be all my people. And you know, my senior trip. We went to Hershey Park my senior high school trip, and I was like, yes, but then it got very dark

because the bus broke down on the way home. And I'm from Long Island, so it was from Pennsylvania's Long Island and the bus broke down on the side of the road and we had to walk to another bus, which didn't get there for two and a half hours. So we were just like it was very like this is how a horror movie starts, and horror movies don't end well did anyway? Is it a memory though, that everyone connects within your class. I think that, um, we

all have that shared experience. Yes, except the people that didn't go that day because they missed the bus and you really you can never miss a bus, and they really missed the bus. Yeah, they really missed the bus actually real cultural number one N one, you can never miss the bus, Maia, what is your idea of fabulous? Well, well, I was going to say something really uh uh shallow. I mean, don't worry, no, no, no, I was going

to say something that is the opposite of shallows. So that looks like a nice person like affordable housing for Los Angeles there are a hundred thousand people living on the street, which there are, but okay, luxury, um, you know, uh, I think it would be you don't want to be. It would be having tons of energy. I would love to be someone who has a ship ton of energy. I'm on I'm on a number of medications when which just an antipsychotic which I love, and it clocks me

out at the end of the day. But the problem is is I'm a little tie tie all the time. I would not mind having uh the go go Chihuahua. Energy of what I've seen of many people on the planet. Sure, I mean energy is the currency. That is. We are very tired right now, and we promised you, Maria, we can't bring oh my god, talk about we are so tired. So we're from New York. We're only here for two weeks. So basically like we just well we were We did a live show on Tuesday, and so you're got to

meet with the industry. You have to do with the big right, what's your story? And we were happy to tell them our story. In the process of doing so, mentally, you're just no, it's Austin. Yeah, and then you get a free bottle of water, and then you go, what's happened? Yeah? Do you feel that when they offer you a bottle of water in the beginning of the meeting, obligated to say yes because the other day I said no and the girl looked at me, like, you don't want water,

and I was like, I mean, I'll take it. Oh shit, I've always taken the water, so I don't know what it feels like to not take the water. I always want something. I want whatever I can get out of that thing. I took two Dolly ranchers out of your cup out there, yeah, are no, there's a grape and a cherry, and grapes are my faith. I'm not a grape girl, okay, all right, I'm not a seer apple girl. I'm very specific with us and cherry cherry, cherry, Okay. I may have not eaten all the cherries. Okay, I

hope so. But also I'm color blind, so they all look the same to me. I looked on the thing and I'm like, no, those are all grape. But anyway, we understand being tired, but my tiredness does manifest in doing more like I'm a I'm a person who's on a lot, and then when I go home, like I have to be by myself, like it's the whole day of extrovert and then like really, like now let me conk out sure, I mean what what? What is like? Um? What is something? Like? What? Like? How are you? How

do you even combat that? Like moment to moment Like that's what I That's what I'm That's what my struggle is. I can't combat it. Um. I see my friend Amy who has she has a small business. She wakes up at five, she feeds over twenty five million animals, and then she goes to your small business talks with people all freaking day. Then she goes out to a ranch where she volunteers and cleans horses and goes on horse rides, and then she finally gets home at around nine o'clock

a night, and she tips over. But if I can do, I'm going to do this podcast. I'm going to go home and take a nap. Good. Yes, that's that's it. I sometimes feel exhausted, like we're talking about those meetings, like we leave the meetings and we're like, because they are a performance. Yes, yes, and podcasting is a performance. Oh sure we're all performing now. Yes, it's actually real

culture number ninety four podcast performance. Yes, I missed some of the syllables there, but that's okay because they got well and some people miss I've been on some podcasts where it's it is more just a chit chat, and you go, okay, we gotta we gotta step it up a not yeah, because who really wants to just hear chit chat? No, you want to hear something that has been really and you can can serve you the extravagance.

You want to listen to something that's been rehearsed. I don't want to hear any improv podcast conversation and a good sign this essentially that don't tune out, don't tune out, don't tune don't Now to have a producer just laughing and rocking in his chat, his little shoulder shaking, he's on he's on his phone. Now he's gotta he's got to take care of him. This is this is Brett. This is who we were lovingly referred to as HPB

Hot Producer Brett, and he's an all. You haven't met them, but we have lovely producers out of New York name Joe and Alex who are referred to as j and HP A Hot Producer Alex, how do you feel about

us objectifying them in this way should be pumped the brakes? Well, my husband I were just talking about this last night, about how women are sometimes predators, you know from the me Too move it, there haven't been as many talks about how like this woman she we were dating and she she she preassured me for sex and that happens too.

So I just I want to say, Brett, this is your opportunity to speak up if you feel unsafe and um uh also yeah, I mean I just know that uh with with everyone uh talking about that, it doesn't make me I know what made me think about some of the things I did in the past as young. Yes, yes, but let's just let's just I guess scope in on just me and Matt as two gay men just sort of like playfully praying on these poor unsuspecting what's flirtation

and what's intimidation? Oh yeah, well, and that's that's I think the I had a I was at a comedy club in in Houston, Addison, anybody listening, and um, the club owner led me up to the stage by the small of my back. I know where it is, buddy, not touching at work. But I think, oh, this is the definition of flirting that my friend Accucation heard in order. Flirting is when you've succeeded in making the other person feel attractive. So if you if the person hasn't feel attractive,

then you have not sued in flirting. Jackieason's eighty one year old father is a great flirter. Like, he's not a creepy flirt. For some reason, I just feel like a hot, hot baby, and um, you know, and he's just saying how pretty I look? And where'd you get that blouse? Um? But uh, it does make me feel good. So perhaps you know that's the thing you need to ask them, do Brett, are you feeling at okay? And I know I knew it. I knew it. And you know what there's basically a little half smile erupt on

that face. There's a little bit of jealousy that's being sort of drummed up between the producer, the producer and other producer. Joe has texted us and said, well, well, wow, it looks like I've been replaced. And I'm saying, listen, there's there's a room. There's two of us. Yeah, there's room for everybody. There's love enough for everyone. There's everyone. And of course you are in aged to a lady that we love to propose on the Amalfi Coast, I mean,

Bratt big Reville. It's gonna be a long engagement. We had a whole discussion about late two nineteen oh interesting the service. I don't know, I'm like, I have any thoughts about it. I didn't get married till I was forty five, and my husband and I had never had anything last over a year. He had never had last anything over three years. We are now at four and

a half, longer than one and longer than three. New records, new record, yes, because I'm I'm working with like my longest thing has been like three months, and me being like, oh, is there any hope? But I mean look, it just takes a guy who looks at your screen name hog book and says, yes, yeah, you have to lead with your weird Yeah. You know. That's the thing too about like dating is like, that's amazing that you guys met on okay Cube, but but okay Cupid like didn't really

work for me. And then I met my my ex boyfriend who I was with her over two years. I met doing a show and being very insanely weird on stage, and I kind of was like, oh fu SI, now I don't have to like let them know that I'm a performer. Was that like a weird did? Like, you know, he had already he watched comedy, so he knew that I was a comedian, and he was and uh, and he's an artist and he works for some famous like

painter artists who are cuckoo for Coco puffs. I mean just in terms of a wonderful creative people like um. So uh, he had no problem with it. Had and he loves comedians. He says, the comedy world is just so much more friendly, which is true. It's a lot more accepting than we went to. We've gone to some art parties and the art parties are it's hard, like they're just uh, it's a little stressful. I think because there's so much money involved comedy. We're all we're all

getting twenty bucks. Maybe after the show. It's not to drink tickets and don't lose them because if you lose them, you know we're going to believe you. But you know what I do is I pick up Usually no one wants both. Yeah, I'll just take them all drink tickets and cash. Uh yeah. I think when in comedy it's still always humbling, like I can bomb. Well, I just did you know, like if the other night in a small bar and lost, feels like people weren't on board

and really I just kept talking. Well, you just you do your time, you feel the time and uh um and people have seen a lot of famous performers here and you gotta be something real special to get anybody's attention in Los Angeles? Do you let the bombing? If that at first of all, I can't really picture your bomb, but I know it's being having done. We will, I mean, we will believe it that anybody can bomb and at whatever stage. But I mean, when were we gonna ask you? Um?

But what I was going to ask, was do you let the bombing like roll off your back or do you kind of like really sitting there, I question of my abilities? And what what the point is extensionalism? Nihilism? Uh? What? Uh? Yeah? What what is the function? What is function? And feeling guilty like put these people through something? They had gone out to have a good time and here they were trapped um for fifteen to twenty minutes with my nonsense and but I I don't know, but that's also part

of the machismo of doing. But actually, I actually there's nothing attractive to me about bombing. Like my my friend just told me they bombed, and she was like, I bombed, and you know what, it felt good. I felt knocked down. I'm now I'm hungry again. I was like, see, that's not how I am. I'd like to be loved all the time. That's and that's usually what I create for myself, as I create like a small cocoon where I can just be in a black box theater and everyone's like,

it's amazing that you're alive, You're a legend. Good for you. Do you feel that, like now that people have known who you are for a very long time you get that, like you're an icon, your a legend and thank you? Does that ever, does that fault your feet a lot? I don't. I don't know. I don't think I've got that, but I would. Um, I can't wait we bring out

a huge trophy. Well, I think it's just get you just realize and how lucky you are just still be in it, and and how unbelievably talented people are starting out now. People are just so good and and that's that's very inspiring. I mean, I feel like I don't feel like I'm I'm at her at it really on some level than I was when I started in terms of like just I probably had more passion when I started,

which probably helped things. And now I'm like, yeah, I've got a pool, paid for the pool, so maybe we can slow down. We got we got we got the luxury. Yeah, no, I've got the pools though. Yeah. Now like, well now the up my husband and we're going to do uh, we're trying to build a cooperative of our house. Yeah.

So we've got one comic in Carmen Morales lives with us, and then maybe get a second one and maybe get another old pug if we get three old pugs like a little pug old ranch pug ranch um oh, I love. I think pug ranches your wealth setting. I think that's what it is. And that's fiftd bucks a month. I mean just for drops. I mean seriously, they are dying from birth to death. It's not a good situation for them. Those are the eye And tell me if you agree

with me. The thing to admire in love about puzzes that they are constantly suffering, just constantly, like they can't breathe and they're just like confused adult or like what's going on? That's like and you are, but yet you keep going and you keep going, and I am I mistating anything that is that's like looking in the mirror

to me, you know, like it's I'm struggling. I don't know if I'm going to make it like I'm the person like you know when they have those survivor stories on the sea or something like I'm the person who eats all the chocolate and goes I'm so sorry and then dives and is eaten by sharks like I just I'm not. I'm not a survivor at something. I understand that I watch Life of pie and stuff, and I'm like, no, I watched I saw like Us, like a zombie movie,

and people are like, character, would you belie? I was like, I'm not in it. The second I hear the zombie apocalyst is happening, I guarantee I have a heart attack right away, and I'm gone. Like a shark movie. Now I see a shark and I'm gone. Yeah, I don't do anything heroic or yeah, it's been a good run, like you just got to hang out, come here, I am. I don't. I probably would just walk out. Yeah, zombies, it has to happen. Now, just take me early. I'm

an early adopter. Yeah, yeah, you guys hungry, that's it. That's it. Pugs though, pugs, Pugs are Pugs are emblematic of survival. Maybe is that is that? Yeah, where they're struggling and they're adorable, and they're also super accepting and loving of our most most of them. I'm sure there are some growling pugs, but I don't know them, and I yeah, and I feel weird about That's why we get old pugs because I don't want I don't want to bring any more babies into the world unless because

I think it is a little odd that we breed. Honestly, it feels weird. Like I we have gold we have Gold Retrievers all growing up and they are the best. But watching what happens to their hips as they get older, I mean it's like a very hard you know that was it's really sad. I know, Maggie, my dog just passed away last year, but that wasn't even a hip thing. It was stomach cancer and literally within within weeks, and it's just like, yeah, it's just so sad. And then

it's hard to you know. Of course, the suggestion is, well, you know, get a get another dog, like you know, but then it's like you're signing up for that again again. And yeah, this is after we had lost our first dog. They got Maggie, and now this is the second Gold Retriever they've lost. And I can tell my parents like, we're not going to get another one. It's too hard,

too hard. Yeah, well, maybe it's like when people have babies, like my parents, they knew there's tons of mental illness and you know, addiction on both sides of our family. Why they why they bring more suffering into the world. Why did you do this or just adopt, like at least somebody who was already here. But then but then you don't know what you're getting. Yeah, yeah, well but then at least you've you've done somebody else solid by

uh being there for him. And I don't know, though, I don't know if my parents, I I thought for a long time, I got very obsessed about becoming a foster parent, so much so that I listened to forty episodes of the Foster Parenting podcast, which is recorded here in Los Angeles by a lovely Christian couple. But they don't talk too much about Christ, which for which I'm grateful. And but it turns out, um, being a foster parent

is a ship ton of work. Yeah, and uh, and you have to be very stable and patient, patient and show up to court dates and a lot of emotional energy yet a lot of yeah, keep a relationship with the biological family. And it's oh yeah, that's the the rules in UM are the law in in l anyways, it's it's open adoption for their whole lives unless the parents ever the so, which which is good for the kids. I think, so they know, but uh, it's intense, like you're signing up for a lot of hard work. But

I did listen to forty episodes. Yeah, so you're prepared if it, if need be to tell to encourage someone else to do it, let's do it. You know what. Oh gosh, someone sent me that New York Times piece about or was it in the New Yorker anyway, one of the New York's it was, But it was this whole piece about this mother who is, who has who is in this open adoption sort of relationship where she visits her biological child like every twice a year or once a year, and it's it's just I mean, it's

a beautiful setup. It's that's it's wonderful. But like, gosh, like just a got punched like to your emotions to mine as a reader, I was like, oh, this is so complicated and so and so generous and beautiful for the adults to sort of opt into this. So anyway, it makes you feel horrible about complaining about being tired. Interesting, have you guys tried cold brew? Alright, wait, one more thing about cold brew. When I have cold brew, I become a killing machine. You're on, You're on it, You're on,

like you know the movie Lucy with Scarlett Johansson. That's me. I have not seen that movie. Can you act it out? Well? The tagline of it is you're only using a human Beings only used ten percent of their brains, and this is a situation where someone is using their brain. So that's like me for fifteen minutes when like a cold brewster it's in, I'm like, what we're going to do this? And I would love to take that meeting and we'll

look at that. There's the treatment what I'm doing, and also I scheduled to vacation and my flights landing, and then it's like I've completed the paperwork for yeah, yeah, yeah, and then there's the whole bathroom experience that follows a cold brew good okay, okay, you get a stomach disaster. Now as a person, I'm I'm embarrassingly I have too massive cold bruise per day. Again, I'm on sarah Quills, which is the non generic antipsychotic that is very power.

So is that so those are that's what that's you combating them? Yeah yeah yeah yeah, But I still I do have that same experience of like having a boat of ideas. Yeah yeah, glorious moment and do you look back at the ideas and say, oh, those are cold brew ideas. Um, my husband sometimes has to stop me and go, why did you invite twelve people over tonight? Well? How else are I gonna we need twelve? Yeah? We just I want to meet people. I want to get

into community. Well this is I'm so. We get a ARP magazine and one of the things they say is the more relationships you have, the longer you'll live. So Sunlight started seeing human beings as life expenders. Let me tell you how many days are you getting out of us? I don't I don't know. We'll get I guess we'll find out. We'll find out some day. I think I'm getting a year at nine. Oh boy, it's so It's so creepy though, because my yet Carmen uh Morales, who

lives with us. Now, this is how much time do you think you're getting out of me right now? Well, if we make eye contact the three to five seconds, maybe another week. You know, you gotta this is what you do, Maria people. Yeah, you ask those those New York Times thirty six questions or whatever you all fall in love and then to make to make you fall in love with someone or is that No, it's that's

not the function. But it's like thirty six questions to you get to know someone as completely as you can in that in a structured setting. Wait, is that something different than the Vogue seventy six questions? Well? Those are videos, okay, but the thirty six questions like what are like? Should we look them up? And we'll know? We can't do this on the podcast because podcast famously not a visual medium.

Do you remember what what's on there? Yeah? Like one of them is like, like the worst moment from your childhood? What uh? What do you want to do with your life the next five years? Where do you see yourself the next five years? Um? But these are things that are deeply intimate and I might not want to share in it. That can never answer any of those questions. Do you believe in God? Yeah? Do do we believe in God? Where I think I believe? We're a table

of all atheists? What's happening all atheists? All the time? The thirty six questions that lead to love? Oh gosh? Um? Okay, given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner a dinner guest question? Um? It's one person. One person. Oh, I want somebody like my grandmother who died in the fire of her own making while drinking and smoking. Yeah, because she needs a break. All right. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

I mean? I like to be universe, universally beloved. I believe I said this before. I want to be I want to be. I want to be beloved by the question. It's this is tough. These are like a little too soul bearing in a way. I want to be famous. Oh, yes, in the sense I want everyone to be because I can't. I have sometimes difficult saying hi to people, and so if everyone can say hi to me, that would really break the ice. That's why I've been inched in show

business social efficiency and this is a good. That's a good leading to this one. Before making a telephone call, do you have a rehearse what you're going to say? Why? Get you with the why they're And the answer is for me is like yes always because I'm anxious. Yeah, it depends on what the phone call would be. If it's a phone call to like a girlfriend who's mad at me, well then of course you gotta go. You gotta work it all out and go. But maybe, uh, I guess I try not to have a plan, and

then then I just you're supposed to just listen. Honestly, it's about listening and reacting, and I think that's a conversation going to center on me and what I'm saying. Jumping around here, here's a good one. Um, if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know the concrete truth about one thing about yourself about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else. You know, this

is like a broad question. If I don't know the truth about myself, I don't know. That just seems like a gimme like or it just seems like I think I know. I'm selfish, I'm self absorbed, I'm I mean, I think those are the two main ones. Do you consider yourself? Vein? I vein in a different way though, in a way where it's like I don't want to look vain, you know, like, yeah, I'm just I don't want makeup because it doesn't matter to me. But check

it out, but don't you? But really inside You're like I'm coming off really naturally right, I am check it out, Queen, I would say, I would want to know how much longer we have on this planet the planet. It is morbid, but that's the truth I wanted. If I'm being told that a crystal ball, I don't know if you heard about this crystal ball, but the crystal ball doesn't famously knows and famously doesn't lie. So I probably just want to know, like, okay, like what's the what's the gig here?

What's the grand scheme? Because feels like every day, like sepeep deep, we're getting closer to you know, it's headlines I hate the most. The doomsday clock took one more second towards the end of the world. I don't want to hear about the doomsday. Yeah, yeah, well that sounds like you know, a v science club telling us. I mean, not that it's not true, but like, you know, wake up. I don't know. I don't know. I just think I don't think i'd want to know anything. Actually, okay, from

from the ball at all, ignorance is bliss. I would rather be surprised. It's like, oh, you're gonna die on the way home today, or or you know, whatever, your husband leaves you. It's like Oh, that's weird, Like I want to know, I like a surprise. You would rather not. I wouldn't. I wouldn't have thought that's how I wanted to wrap up. But all right, it's cool. Makes three true we statements each. For instance, we are both in

this room feeling this is this is tough hot. You are all hot, we are all and we're all admitting that, admitting that. Yeah, we're being honest with each other, ourselves brat and we're all ignoring and we all spoke for Brett. Wow. Interesting, But you are a piece of meat and that's it. I hope you feel attractive hearing that. Okay, pick one more and we'll ask the question. We'll do the last one. This is number and if they stole our question? What

if they if they're number thirty six? Was what is the culture that I know? That's hashtag no no, that's trademark TM little TM in the corner of the prem community TM trade market. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she or they might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you would see I you seem to be feeling about the problem. A lot um, but I'll do it. I have a ladies night where all the ladies are coming out of my house. I don't know

how many ladies is going to be. It could be two, it could be nine. It is people from all parts of my life. So it's people who don't know each other, and it could get weird. And so I feel and I'm also I already have social anxiety. Uh. In terms of I, I I love controlled communication. I love a podcast. I love a stand up I love a step program. I love a list of questions. Yeah, oh god, you know when do we stop? Where do we start? Thank you? I don't like like an you know, just chit chat

in the street with my neighbor. One is one's a heart out on this. So um yeah. So I don't know what to do to prepare myself for tonight. Okay, Well, first I would say that you seem when you because you knew what you wanted to say right away. Yes, I think you are actually on top of this, more

on top of this than you think. And I think that being conscious of the fact that you're going to have many different sort of like temperatures in the room, potentially, I think that you're going to be a solid base for everyone and they'll come to you at your level. And to add to that, that's how I feel that you're I think it's gonna go well. Am I like the Ralph's grocery store roast chicken in the middle of the room. I was going to say exactly that. Who's like, Yeah,

that's that's good. That's that's the level we're going to be eating at tonight. You know, if somebody want to bring something fancy, that's up to you. But this we're going with roast chicken. With the Ralph's roast chicken. We know what it is. There are no there are no false pretens It's about it being a home roast. I would I will add to that that, Yes, the fact that you are aware of your sort of um, your

your grip on control. What am I saying? Um, It just means that you have the awareness of the concept, which means that you will have control in some way, not maybe not in the ways that you think right, but in w I identify with that because last night I was going to meet up with some new friends and while I was getting ready and before I was going to get in the lift, I was so panicked, and I was just like and there really wasn't any reason to be nervous, But when I got in the room,

I could, and even just seeing what the room looked like and looking at people in the face, I was like, I'm okay now because now I know what the rules are, you know what I mean, like the spatial rules, just like the idea of interacting sometimes will terrify me. And then I don't think anyone would think that about me when they're interacting with me, because I'm pretty good at either faking it or doing it whatever. But beforehand, I do get very nervous and I start forcing. Sometimes I

do this at a party that I've hosted. I'll start forcing people to do certain things, like, um, you guys, let's just let's do a game, just because I'm so freaked out that I don't know the conversations died or or somebody's yeah, and I want to not do that, like just let it, let it be boring. Sure, the game is, the game is a parameter. The game is kind of controlled environment. And I don't even like games. Yeah yeah, yeah, because that game means competition, which and

you don't know how everyone's going to handle that. Yeah, and it might be just fun to chit chat. I love to chit chat. And I tell you what I really don't like the most when someone says, hold on, you need to see this video. I don't like to gather. I don't think so, honey. When people gather around, we're forced together on a computer unless we all are emphatically enthusiastically consented to the video. But suggest or like when you're at to dinner with some of the they hand

you a phone and they say, watch this video. It's like, I'm not gonna be able to hear it the way that it was intended. Maybe this isn't the moment. Maybe I've already seen it, you know. Yeah, no, rack a raccoon on ibs watch it later. Yeah, that's something I can do on my downtime, right, raccoon with ibs would be fun, honestly. No, No, it was it was up this just skyscraper that it was. It was an international sensation.

Oh wait, yes, you don't remember this, the raccoon crawling like fifty stories up to the top of a skyscraper in St. Paul. And no, not, no, not. I think that the towers called the IBS can't tell you what my mind's I saw a raccoon running up a building having ship the time trickled down, leaving a cascade or waterfall for those that don't know the word cascades of ship, which I would imagine it's watery for some reason. Well, well, look what they eat. They don't have good diets to

get on keto. But wait a minute, did we just admit to ourselves that maybe we don't dislike chit chat? After all? It has it has this moment I have, But I know that it's not my strong suits. Sure that I sometimes well, yeah, I'll try to connect. Either I've gotten into monologuing a little bit as you've gotten older, which is super embarrassing when I was shy, or I never did it now I'll hold court. Do you believe you've become more outgoing over the years out going? Or

have the idea that what I'm saying is interesting? You just got to get the yes men out of your life and just have People will be like, Maria, this is your this is too much, this story about the raccoon, I don't stop right there, stop right there. We didn't know what the IBS was. Yeah, no, no, no, yeah, if I can't, if I can't describe it, you know, just let it go. Let it go. I think it's time to ask the question we must ask. This question is what we ask all of our guests, and it's

a question of culture. Maria Bamford, When did you decide that culture was for you, like growing up, like you saw a movie or influence in some way by music or particular television show or something like that, something in pop culture that you feel sort of steered you in your cultural direction, maybe even change your life. This is the first thing that came to mind when I heard

that question. The show Three's Company. I just I love the camaraderie of the show, and then it had a little bit of sexiness, sex and then the physical comedy, and that he would keep falling over the couch, and that it was in CALIFORNI born yet, and I knew California was an interesting, dangerous place. So it was that element of there's something unknown. It's an edgy show. We've been we've gotten We've gotten some flak in the past

on this very this show for missummarizing. Oh yeah, I thought I knew what It's been a very long time. I was watching on Nick at Night. Yeah, and I thought I knew what the plot of the show was. And you you said, I was like, he pretends that he's gay, so so you can live with the two hot girls. Is that right? No, the guy, they won't rent to him if he's a straight dude with two hot girls, so he has to say that he's gay so that he's not hooking up with the two straight girls.

Which so it's really weird moral window in our culture where it's like, I don't ever remember that being a thing. I don't know, at least that's what I remember what it was, but I don't remember that being except for you, the goofy like upstairs downstairs thing where people would be switching places because he had to be gone and they had different beds, different places. Yeah, he was. He was one fierce physical comedian. Oh my goodness. Yeah, so good. But I never thought I could be on a show

like that. But I just thought, oh, that's I mean. I had listened to stand ups like Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy with my dad, and uh that that was heartening. But it never I guess I didn't really think. And I watched Carol Burnett. But anyways, I would just remember I loved Three's company for some bizarre reason, and it was and Peppi Lapew do remember that was my my

sexual awakening. I was like, what is this feeling that I feel when he was painting that cat to look like a skunk and she was trying to get away from him because she was in a skunk, and then like somehow, I mean, it's the weird. It was his bravado, it was his confidence in the pursuit, confidence and and yeah know he knowing that she loved him even though anyways, and a bit I'm sure it's a bit of that romance novel rape fantasy thing, which I think not the greatest.

I don't know in this social climate how Peppy Lapew it's holding up. Sure Peppy Lapew is on a list, but I mean used to say that the cat didn't even feel attractive, wasn't didn't. That's the thing is that it's not for us to say, and we never heard it, and therefore the look on our face, though, was of confusion and shock. Of course, it wasn't of delight. I

don't know if there was enthusiastic consents. So we always say on the show podcast or a visual media, and we have to make the visual emphatic that we were all confused and shocked and upset at this moment. We're very sturred, very sturred. I honestly Three's company. I'm very grateful that I was growing up in like a time when that was on Nick at Night, like, because I actually people that are even a little bit younger than us don't have any idea what that is, what I

love Lucy is. I can't believe that people don't know what I love Lucy is. But where would they have access to it? If they're if television just isn't showing it um or people don't watch TV anymore, they watch YouTube, or they have to like opt in through several filters to be like, Okay, I'm gonna go on Netflix and then I'm gonna and then I'm gonna decide on't want to watch where it's like you just turn on the

TV and then it would come to you. Yeah. I try to think of what I would watch if I were a baby today, and I think of our baby today, I would just watch Swedish murder shows. Right, Honestly, you know what's funny is like the old shows. Now there's something they're showing. I did air quotes, y'all. The quote unquote old shows are like friends, and I mean, you know,

the old Will and Grace and the right. But it's so funny to think about those as like the classic shows that we're showing you and not like even the facts of life. Yeah you know what, I'm not even like cheers like yeah yeah, And they have to be seen. I love Lucy has to be seen. Every wants to know Benjamin, Yeah, yeah, I love Lucy is very good. The only thing is I compare myself with her because I'm a lady of the comedian. I go, oh again,

she has the kind of energy that I will never have. Sure, okay, I'm a one podcast day lady and I'm not even hosting it. But hey, you're not wearing yourself out with cigarettes, like you're not chain smoking like Lucy all dead right? Well she a chain smoker? Oh yeah? And then her voice got all got all sort of raspy and gorgeous by the end. Yeah, John Rivers too, to the very last day, was gotta keep the way down grinding. I saw her, was she was? She important for you? Joan Rivers. Yes, yes,

I didn't relate as much, sure, because she was so different. Yeah, she's so balls out or whatever. I am much more demure, passive, aggressive, and she was aggressive. Yeah, yeah, which is awesome. I wish I would like And I think that's more genuine sometimes to be. My husband's from Philadelphia originally, and and I'm trying to learn from him, you know, like just say it, Hey it sucks. Yeah, yeah, well you did it.

You're an idiot. You're going to get a chance to do that literally right now, because this is the time for our segment I don't think so, honey, which is our segment that we do on every episode, which is you take one minute to rant, or if you don't want to rant, to emphatically state or plainly state something in culture or something in life that bugs you. Like nothing else. You say, I don't think so honey, this thing bone and I will demonstrate. Would do this every episode.

It's our one minute to rant about something in culture and I have something, you have something from years of experience. I have something, Okay, so um, we'll demonstrate. This is Matt Rodgers is I don't think so honey. His time starts new. I don't think so honey. Couples who give p d A in restaurants, I don't think so, honey, because as a server, it's very difficult for me and my tenures serving to engage with you while you are

doing this. And also I don't think so honey. If you tell me that you didn't get good service, but you were clearly engaged in p d A the whole time when I was trying to do my job, I think so honey. Myself, as a server for many years, I was very good. So it's the end of we care less. Yeah, but I don't think so honey. Also, people are eating and like it's distracting. Not that not that affection is disgusting, but I don't think so honey. In a mixed company setting, you come out to be

in public. And also I don't think so honey, when people sit on the same side of the booth, when couples are sitting on the same side of the booth, I'm always just like, I don't know, because now I feel like interacting with you both is strange. Maybe I'm thinking too inside the box in terms of rents, frstaurant interaction, but I don't think so honey. These couples who make it about them in restaurants let people die. And that's one minute, wonderful. Gosh, that to me feels good to

know selfish. Yes, So when I see you in the hobby out there, oh god, our tongues out, yeah, your tongues wagon, eyes flapping, husband's peens peeking out, his pains, peeking out, peens poking everything on ahead. Your boob's on his head, his butts on the plate. I don't think so. Your your foots in his mouth. That's fine, listen, nothing like a prune feed. That's what we do. We I feed in prunes anyway. That's an old Christian uh teen

Christian church game feed. Yeah, it's just something fun. You put a plastic bag on your foot and then you feed the guy's prunes. That is fun. And see who you can eat the mouse? What did you do with the lockout? We did? Prue did prune feeds. I used to try to bite Henry's toe, and he really didn't like, Oh, your your ex boyfriend. It's a little sharing. No, No, that's awesome. I just thought, sometimes, well this is sometimes when he didn't like he didn't like to be tickled.

And I would say that most people don't like I don't like it. It's a good thing. You're not in a relationship with me, Um, Matt, this is a this is an issue of I will say there's some element of consent in tickling where the tickled party. If they don't like it, you gotta stop. Well, he would laugh. But that's the thing, that's what. It's a physiological response. Even though you're laughing, you're not liking exactly. Well, well, we're all learning more. Um this is I don't think

it's money. And he has one and his time starts. Now, I don't think so, honey. These small ass headphones, I don't think so many normative head sizes. Even I can't pull off baseball caps for my life, and now I got to deal with these headphones all the week that are just constricting my blood flow to my head, my most important part of my body. Shall we say? I will go go out on a limb and say, my

head is the most important part of my body. And to have these small headphones that press up against my ear, that jam my glass, my glasses into my skull, you know the pain is you know, insidious, It's not it's not painful, but over time it can really can really drive you, drive you drive you to madness? Shall we say? Because my head, the headwearing were in general for me, I've I've always had to walk through this life and

navigate spaces with nothing on my head. And sometimes I want an extra layer of protection that I can't have because the market is working against me. And that's one minute. That's one minute. And you know what, We are all privileged to have tiny heads, absolutely you all are in mind is too big and the giant head too. I got an extra large graduation cap in order it specialist what I had to do. I do the same for me, and it's just my whole life. It's been this thing

that I've had to accept. But no longer I think my head is also big and look at the back of my skull juts out. Oh, yes, you see it right. That's it's not normal. That's a fund up pillar your mom put you on as a child. Maybe that deform saying my mother didn't raise me perfect. You'll have to answer to her. What's her name? Her name is Katrina? Katrina? He love Katrina, such a lovely job than Maria thinks.

So yeah, and now we're going to find out what else Maria thinks, because it's time for your I don't think so, honey. This is my first one, first one, first of many. We hope your time starts now. Okay, I don't think so, honey. Every time I go for cold brew at Starbucks and they are out, they're out at ten a m oh, that is unkind unfair. You have this big poster, this Florida ceiling poster that says cold brewd has a beautiful picture of a foaming cold brew.

I will foam on the top. I've grown addicted. You've given me the substance that I have to otherwise I'm going to feel really depressed all days and and I'm genuinely depressed. I've tried to have an iced coffee. It's not good. Oh, an iced air Americana. Do you want an iced Americano? Do you want a cup of spit? That's no, it's not fair. I do appreciate that you create the pint size bottles that take to go. Thank you. If you could have that at every Starbucks in every

airport that I'm at, I'd really appreciate. Thank you. And that I bet every listener is nodding their head in fatly because I don't think so, Honey, when people advertise things that they do not have. If you're if you have a sign, it should be there at all times. And I've been I've been a terrible restaurant employee. I respect what you did, but I was not. I was not good at it. And and there were times when I didn't do a good job where I'd say, oh,

we're out of diet coke. That happens a lot too, he why don't you isn't there a thing where you've bring it up from the basement and then hook it up to the machine. Oh, yeah, I guess I could do that. Anyways, I think it's it's just me being irritated with my past self, looking myself in and you know, in real time, and going, you're out of cold brew. I know you could make it. Yeah, that's the thing is,

it's like you are a coffee place. I don't think it's acceptable to be out of what is essentially coffee. And yet, um, are they being fairly paid? Probably not, probably not. I don't know. I think the people are depends on a living way, just twenty five bucks an hour in New York in Los Angeles if you want to live in I think it's a share one. You know, I think you're that's definitely and it's definitely that's definitely not what they're Yeah, um, I will say, you're you

contending with your own service past, food service past. It's about it's not about inventory like like like it might be at Starbucks where they might just be out of cold brew and they have to brew more and we'll take home however many hours that is. That is just them just sort of not not having their inventory straight. You know what I'm saying, No, when when they're not on top of refilling supplies. And it's also like ten in the morning, it wasn't like you know, you know,

it wasn't like five pm. It's like I and I think as an addict, Um, it doesn't feel fair. Right, You've set me up to meet this and then the bar doesn't open till four. Yeah, that's all right. This isn't okay, This isn't I want to congratulate you. I'm being very aggressive. Thank you. You are incredibly aggressive, very complained. Yes, and I'm not. I'm not. I was. I was worried that I wouldn't be. Thank you so much. Pro that was that was a good one and a pro through

and through. And also it's truly our honor to have you. Thank you this podcast Less culture. Thank you. I'm grateful to be a part of the Less culture. Yes, my dad can't say either. And some people I was like, I think you might be doing too much. You're trilling a little bit too much on it's just culture East Culture East. Maria Effort did an impression of me. I'm honored me gooset we finished. Every episode was a little song bowen yes and what will that song be? Oh,

that sound will be? Um, here we go when a girl like you, the girl like you? No no no no no no no no no no like whoa Listen the music videos go. We don't know the word another word. That's a comment on the song itself, but the music video made me cry. I love you, Room five, love you, Adam Vine. Thank you so much, Maria Bamford, thank you for having me by. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey.

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