"Gauntlet Du Gag" LIVE at Clusterfest

a bigger and boulder question. Who here even knows what this is? Or listens to our podcast for several rows? Okay for several rows? Who has no idea? What the fun? Yeah? Okay, um, we we're lost culture rest. I'm bow and Yang and I'm mat Rogers than We've got some fun mask growls over here. You don't have to pretend here. Okay, there are no masks. I am so excited to be here. How how do you think? What do you think? Your best? So far? Oh? My god? I think it's beautiful in

some parts? Sure so Union Square area, Oh baby, you could eat off the ground and Tenderlot area. You could do drugs right off the ground. It's but it's beautiful. It's beautiful. I see beautiful, but it's it's it's um original, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I I came I when I touched down. Um, it's just something felt different. Is I'm like, I'm gay Asian person who used to work in tech. Like I should be the fucking mayor since you're sitting this is my city. Um,

it feels really special to be in New York. Is my city even more now because there's a Jimmy Buffett Margharitaville musical. So as you know on Long Island trash or if you don't know how in the background Long Island trash, uh, just memorize it can that to memory. That's the persona. Oh my god, you guys, we're about to do a show full of I don't think so honey. So who here? It does what I don't think, so honey. Okay, the front Rolls are living for everyone who doesn't I

don't think so honey. Is when we take one minute to rant feverishly against something in pop culture that we cannot stand, that grinds arguments, makes us feel some sort of a way, makes our skin just crawl. Bitch, let's have been and I don't think so, honey, that you've been moved by to also hate that topic. Oh um, god, you're bringing on the spot. I don't think so, honey. Someone someone did. Leo DiCaprio. We have said, you Washington, who's gonna be on stage soon, convinced me to hate Leo?

What about? Yeah, he's not environmentally friendly Leto. He's got his yachts. As much as he loves to talk of a game, I recently didn't. I don't think so, honey. On the ASoP fable when the tortoise beats the hair, because funk that. How will the tortoise beat the hair physically naturally? And also even if the hair took a nap, it wouldn't be that long, it would not be that Loan, the tortoise never beats the hair. It's fucking crazy in

these tables, fucking tortoise spats the hair. Well, um, we're gonna do that. And then we have incredibly special guests tonight to help judge the proceedings. So this actually is very We haven't actually been able to check in with ab how crazy this is that there here? Um, are there any Rupole's draggers fans at all? Who because of us? Yeah, oh yeah, we're Oh my god, oh my god. Oh third row, third row. You are a queen. We are your a queer shirt. You know who's now obsessed with

RuPaul's drivers, Leslie Jones. Have you guys seen her Twitter? Did you guys say her? Twe She loves you guys, finally caught on um. Well, anyway, we have two Incredibly She's like, RuPaul is funny. We're like, yeah, we know, okay. Incredibly special guest, incredibly special guests. I mean, we're not even gonna sort of just blow that much smoke up their asses. We'll do it when they're on stage. But please welcome to the stage to winners of RuPaul's Drag

Race Alaska thunder fucking Oh my god. Have some respects, some respects, some respects. Yes, you should be standing in the third roll. I'm telling you, the third row. This girl on the third row, she's the star of the of this They're turning out, turning out, all right, So you guys, this is we're so to you. Yes, absolutely, James, I agree. Can we ask you, like this show is about pop culture grievances. What are some things in pop culture right now that you guys say you know what, No,

you know what I can say right away. And why I'm so excited to be here with you guys is I don't know if you've noticed this, but there's a little bit of like interior homophobia amongst gay celebrities right now because I listened to a lot of podcasts with my friends, and a lot of the gay guys who are on successful podcasts like decidedly don't watch Drag Race, you know, like as if like I just don't, I don't watch it. I'm not that kind of gay or

like and and it's so hard. It's so hard to like trust them when they're like just like, oh, it's just not for me. It kind of seems like you're upset that, like, now you've got a whole lot more competition, you know, more people that are a lot fucking more talent than you. They have they have jaws, that's all they have. I'm not going to name any podcasts specifically, but it's like there are a lot of gay guys out there who like they're they're female friends who do

their podcasts with them. So you're already thinking, like the top three, like gay male female duos out there, but like a lot of the women are like, well, you gotta watch drag Race and then they say like no, I just really don't get into it. Drag isn't for me. And it's like, okay, so drag is for thirteen year old straight kids, but not for a nelly queer guy like you do you hear me Senser myself on the spot,

not a nelly queer guy. There is let's coin for queer right here and queer queer the queers when you want to just really say the slurb, but you're like, let me. You're in mixed company. Not everyone is like on the inside of the communities, so you don't want to like ruffle their feathers. Wait, can I tell you

what insecurity? So we did the RuPaul's Drag Race panel at Vulture Fest, which Jax was on it, and then I started reading The Diva Rules by Michelle Vissage, and when we all came out, I said, the faggotree has begun. And then I was like, oh no, because I felt Michelle give me like a dirty look. And then in the book on page eighteen, she's like, I hate the word faggots and I hate that word too. I just

came out. I was excited. Well, here's the thing. I mean, it's honestly, it's one of those things that's from person to person. I think we should respect that there are people who hate the word within the community UM. But then those people should also respect the fact that, like, there is something to be said to reclaiming the word and taking the power back for yourself. You know. I

think there's a lot of merit in that. But I think it's the older generation within the queer um community who have watched people be beaten to death, who have lost friends because of homophobia. That word resonates with them very differently, and it kind of speaks to our millennial privilege that we like use it like yeah, fag. Yeah, it's like, actually your father died so that you could use the word fag. That's why. No, And now we have for Queer, So why would we need queer Alaska?

Do we start making jewelry allah your snake accessories that have a queer on them, But talk to talk to us a little bit about the pieces. My my favorite drag race queen is Madam for Queer season five, season four three, Yeah, four four, yeah, what are you in pop culture? What are you not liking in pop culture?

What grinds your gears? Yeah? I don't know if it's a pop old your thing, but um, I find it really difficult and challenging when I'm trying to like watch a show and I really love it, and I go to look it up and Okay, it's like it's not on iTunes. So I look on Netflix and it's not there. And then I look on Amazon and it's not there, and it's been scrubbed from history. Like right now, like we're doing a reading of Spiceworld. Later, you can't watch

spice You are not allowed to watch Spice World. It doesn't exist. You know it's going on. This is how it starts. People. The Nanny, The Nanny, the TV show. I was like, I want to watch The Nanny and scrubbed from history. So I went on fucking eBay, I think, and I bought the box set, and I went on Amazon and I bought a portable DVD player and it's in my kitchen and now whenever i'm making tea or doing the dishes, there's Fran. Yes, Fran, alright, only it

starts tomorrow. We'll be living in Fahrenheit for you will be able to get a single bit of queer literature anywhere. Drag queens will memorize mommy dearius, so that future generations, David, if there is a technological stone Age black out, like a lot of people are saying there might be, UM, I think I'm sorry that I'm terrified people saying that I'm here, I'm hearing whist springs and um red is going crazy. It's going crazy with the technological stone Age. I think I think it is on us to um

pass that down into like recite um bullshit. Have you seen Bowen's lip sync of the Tyra Banks. He can do a perfect lip sync of the Tyra Banks America's Next Top Model meltdown. You can't see it here. You have to subscribe, all right. So let's move forward with this competition, which is called the Gauntlet Do Gag. So we're gonna have twenty one commas come out here in three groups of seven. They're all gonna go. They're gonna

do there. I don't think so honeys And at the end of the group's Alaska and Jinks are both going to choose one of them to move on. To the finals. Now we've given you Pen's ladies to write down your goddamn thoughts, um, and also you guys. They can either pick a pre selected topic to do and I don't think so, honey on, or we have this the troll Ball. Tell them about the troll. The trouball is a bowl of topics that we've written out that are meant to

be hard to go negative on. Some past entries have included Sasha Mailio, Obama, Julie Andrew, David Bowie, UM, the women of Broadway. Like things that you have to go negative on no matter what, like unanimous celebration surrounds. Yes, and I think we should probably just get write the Helen. We'll get right to Helen. So we're gonna welcome our first group. Yes, and we have these little paddles made of shitty paper to let everyone know when their time

is almost up. We were just we were playing Ruined Michelle, because they do this constantly, never make it, never makes it to air. But what they do is they hold up random things and just so you're standing on stage, your feet hurt because you've been standing there for forty minutes and they're in between shots or something and but they're they're looking straight at you like, oh you better stop, you better stop. Can I tell you something? And we're

just gonna say this because we're unshackled by people. But when we had to do the panel with Jinx a couple of weeks ago, PR people were like, you cannot ask anything about behind the scenes like BTS. They can say nothing. So I mean, we're not going to teach this out of you now, but this is interesting. This is stuff we could have never gone from the pan. Oh well that's why they come to these things. You know. We're bringing on our first group and this is Team

Shark Truths. We don't do straight colors. Please welcome Marie Faustin, Amy Miller for Molly Okay, Ray Straight, Duayne Perkins, Juke, Kim Boston, and jul Stay Sway Bay down their chairs. Okay, okay, okay, we've got enough chairs. We don't have enough chairs to the crowd show off. We make it approximate estimation. Okay, here we go. The first person to the mic is going to be Marie Faustine. Welcome Marie. What's going to be pre selected? It's pre selected, but I wrote it

on the stage shoes, by the way, Thank you so much. Okay, are we ready? I'm prepared. This is Marine Foston's I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. All the people who went to Wyoming for Kanye West album released, Kanye Elizabeth West invited a hundred and fifty people to Wyoming and flew them out there to listen to the album. First of all, Wyoming is canceled. Okay, we weren't going before. We're definitely not going now. For fresh air and mountains and the great

lakes are those in Wyoming? Don't nobody care? Okay? Let me run through the trash ass guest list for y'all real quick. Kim Kardashian was there with her fake as hard ass, but because she's his beard, right, Chloe Kardashian was These are facts and affects facts facts. Uh. Chloe Kardashian was there alone because the man don't love her. Chress Jenner was there with her new face pulled tighter than a virgin's ass. That's my butt, right, dear, and uh and north south east west five seconds? Let me

tell you something, can you West? This trash people continue to be trash. Nobody that is better than me? Was there, Michelle Obama? Wasn't there? Beyond incompas you don't have with them? They book busy and bliss how Sandy? All right? The game is a foot, everyone giving up from this any Miller, prove it to us girlfriends, thanks for having me preselected or the do we love you pre selected? This is a Millers. I don't think so hurting your time starts now.

I don't think so, honey, San Francisco. Oh shoot a born here bitch, and it sucks now. I used to be sexy and dirty and now it's just a pile of fucking boat choosing app scooters. The text seed, Oh, I'm sorry you don't want to see homeless people when you're getting to your startup job at eleven am. Maybe you should give them some of your fucking bitcoin. Travis, I hope a men's ill veteran thrust. Come on your Patagonia,

you balding in so Oh, I'm sorry. You've lived in the Bay for two years and you're a Warriors fan. Now suck that dit you know like men used to do here fucking learn how to drive, learn how to parallel park, learn how to cross the street. You live in a city, now, honey, I have an idea for an app, Honey. It's called Jump off the fucking Bridge. Travis Secker. Here's a man of being San Franciscans. You're not Chinese or gay. I don't think so, honey. They

we are currently chess. But she's a lad, she's a native, she's a local. Nets up, Molly, it's my fashion, okay, So talk to us about your decision the troll ball or a preest the topic. I did a pre selected This is Molly Austin's. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. Hello, honey, it's me and I don't so. Justin Timberlake, he's not good. He's not good. The Mirrors album, I don't even want to fucking hear it. You put

it on the party parties over. He built his career on appropriating black culture and on the backs of two pop icons and national treasures, Janet Jackson and Britney Spears. Everybody blames Britney Spears, meltdown on Kevin Federline. But no, but no, but no, it was justin Timberlike. He would trade her, He could trade her in her most vulnerable hour. Okay, justin Timberlike didn't have a career when he left in Sync. He came out on stage all by himself. And what

do people do? They boom boom boom, right, and he cried, he cried, he cried some what did you do? He framed Britney Spears in a Crimeer River music video. Then he has done nerve to be a Kate Spade person, not pa version of Michael Jackson. And what does he do? He raps his sisters titty out in the super Bowl and then he gets the Timper Bowl. Yeah and that Yes, I'm neither saying, oh that was amazing, well done. We all hate him now and please welcome to the stage.

The token straight of this script, John gave straight. I'm straight. I wore the hat like this so you guys could know. Yeah, it feels good to be a diversity higher. We bravely, we bravely offered you one stage to the crowd. Is it it's about time a white straight mail got something? Yeah, I want to take a hit of the ball. Here we go. No, I pick for you. This is not your rules, this is our I picked the ball because I don't know any of the rules of this. Okay,

bitch your I don't think so, honey. Topic is the name Tory and John Gabrie's your minute starts now. Hi, honey, it's me. I don't think so. The stars are overhead. Listen for a second, Tory. Um, I have a question for you, Tori. You aren't either what Tori spelling, a political party or a white dude with flip flops on. Uh. I think now. There's only one Tory I know in my life, and he's a male, and he died of cancer, so I feel uncomfortable riffing on him. But he was

such a douche before he passed. You know, when you die, you get retroactive kindness where everyone's like my father's funeral, people would go like he was a great man, and I'd be like, he wasn't. Like I get it. Today, we'll say it, but tomorrow I'm telling my therapist Barry something else. Um, all right, let's be honest. If you're Tory or one step away from being named Tanya. I'm sorry, Tory, but there's only so many jet Ski instructors you could

fuss on. I think that's sound, Tori. The troll ball works do we have an Tories and the Tories here, Tori, it's okay space, Oh my god, thank god. Next up is Joe Wayne Perkin jacket. What do we think pre selected or the trollball pre selected Perkins. I don't think so many as time starts now cool, I don't think so honey. White women, I mean not all, just most. Um, either they're terrified of me or too friendly. I'm wearing a Puerto Rican grandmother shirt. How can you be afraid

of me? But I will take your purse. I mean at least fifty three percent of you have to die. Um. I mean I mostly just want to be you, and I'm very Joe. This that you have privileges that I don't like. Um, speaking to managers all the time, um, wearing broods, um, not having lips, um, Oh my god. But um, for a second, I want to give you some encouragement to like, go out there and thrive. But stop calling the cops on black people. Thank you so much.

Message delivery okay, next stop it is our good Judy, Joel, Kim Booster Spice or out the reading later. M I think I know what this is? Pre selection? Um, yeah it is. I didn't realize the trouble would be an option, and I also didn't realize Matt's family would be in the second room. This is gonna be rough for you guys, but this is Joe can boosters. I don't think so, honey. As time starts now, I don't think so honey. That fart that comes the day after you bought them in

a little come comes out. I do not think so, honey. I have trying to live my day after I have given it up to a man the night before without a condom. Yes, I know that's dangerous, but I am on prep so I do not think so honey. This come coming out of my asshole, ruining a pair of underwear and reminding me that I will not get HIV, but I might get that super gun to reastrate and die in a hospital because I couldn't get a ship transplant.

I do make think so honey. This seminal experience that every gay man in this audience has experienced at one point in their life, not being represented in mainstream Hollywood game films, Lap Simon, give me the scene of love Simon cleaning out his dirty dress. Don't think so, honey, Call me by your name. Timothy Shallow. May I know you've got some army sperm up in there. Yeah, I want to see you talk about the shrip factory that ends up in his underwear. I don't think so, honey.

If people come for me because this is in pop culture, my ass is culture. Bit yea woman, my asses culture bitch, child booster. We have now to close out group one, giving up for Tuesday slow, all right, so talk to us. Is it a pre slightly topic or the troll ball. I'm gonna do pre selected because it's something on some of my heart right now. Okay, let's hear about I don't think so many her time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Broke dudes talking to me crazy? What

the fuck you're in my house fucking me? You want to pay me back for a toothbrush? Your broke bitch? The funk? Are you talking about? Talking about how much water you using the shower? Honey? I've been getting money since the Clinton's was in office. Do not funk with me? All right? And now you want to come in my house arguing with me about my curtains and everything that's

going on in here. Honey, I don't even know if you have a place to live all right, because you walked to my house with two backpacks and that should have been the fucking warning. Thirty seconds thirty seconds. Now I know you've got to see you on a regular basis because your girl is out here working in these streets. But I promise you won't give a funk about you, your ex wife, your baby mom, and I'm two kids

because I ain't gonna be my ship ever. Seconds. You want to come for me, you want to do all of this, you want to stay bro garden with me, sweetheart, I'm too pretty, I'm too famous that you found the right fucking one today. God five seconds selling closing. If you got a nice rich Jewish man with a boat, hotel him the highlight your girl later on tonight. Wow, the team Start Truth really came for a wide ranging variety of topics. We're gonna go to Jinks in Alaska

for some feedback and your decisions. You each get to pick one of these folks to move on to the final round of the gaunt. Let's get some let's get some thoughts, some some impressions. Well, there is a lot of good stuff there, you guys. There's a lot of good things coming out of some of you. The straight guy went on about an ambiguous Tory figure. Is it weird that the one straight male was the one guy who pulled from the troll ball? Is it like, is

that saying something about straight male creativity? I don't know. That's for you, the audience, to decide, but I'm not mad at you, because well, Alaska, I just want to say, I wasn't expecting this to be so hilarious and amazing, and I had I had no idea what to expect coming in here. We were literally were just like putting on Jinx's panty girdles two seconds ago, and then they thrust us onto this stage and like, I'm just dying, Like everyone was so funny. Thank you, you give it

up for Alaska, enjoying alaska pleasant surprise. I just want to say that no matter what happens, they think you all are winners. With that said, we must each make a decision. So Jinx, who have you chosen to go on to the final? We actually agree on both our decisions, so we just we just we each picked one, but we both pick both of you. And I'm going to announce Mary Fouston, Marie and you'll get you'll get ten extra points of you bring me a glass of wine

next time you come up here. And Alaska Molly Austin. Moving on. Thank your team Chartruse Abe, John Gabris, Dain't Perkins, Boieva. We have too finalists, y'all. All right, it's time to move on to team Azure. Wow. I know her. He works in Tampa. Yes, was in the house, actually in the house. Thank you name Pete. Please give it up for Megan Gaily. Megan Peter Smith is in the house. Get a load of this hero for Rachel Pegram. Give it up for our token straight Ray, and give it

up for Daniel Webber. Please give it up for miss Patty Harrison. And finally we have the Shears of may Night. Yeah, Fanny Pack follows the clear back policy rules. I love it well. Thank your team as your as your first up, as your is it as yours? I'm sure it's a call. It's it's various from persons to the culture. Culture, Welcome to the d We have Megan Gaily, come on outfit.

So Megan talked to us. Will you be giving us a pre selected topic or the trollball I'm gonna do a pre selected topic that I have a lot of passion on that I could go on and on and on no, no, no, no, no and on. Oh we have a minute. This is Megan Gailies. I don't think so henty. Her time starts now. I don't think so honey. The way that Disney has tried to erase Daisy Duck, oh what the funk are they doing? She is a feminist icon. She is one of the most incredible cartoon

characters of all time. She has a purse, she has meals, she tells don on when he has fucking in the wrong, and she is just gone while they celebrate Pluto. Pluto is barely literate. He is a dog. He is jump and I'm not trying to be shitty to many. Mini is clearly created by a white man with an Asian fetish. Okay, No, that's not okay. Daisy is here. Do we need her? At the most? She is speaking truth. She is out there going No, you are a deadbeat. Look at my

duck boote. Watchall invite her anywhere, and you know what, Daisy Duck will not go quietly into the gentle, night y, tough feminist icon speaking truth to power. In each of her days. Incredible. Now, let's welcome to the stage. Peter Smanach Peter, Peter were gagged for the way to talk to us, talk to talk to you, talk to you about about Is this gonna gonna be um precently select recently. I love that about you. This is Peter Smans there.

I don't think so, Honey starts now, I don't think so, honey. Wine shops. I know you've Northern Californians thinking, don't fight the hand that feeds you. We all paid for tickets today the Land of Sideways starring Sandra and nobody else VJ. Madson. For sure, you walk into a wine shop and say do you need help? Like, yes, I fucking need help. If I didn't need help, I would have a wine shop, thank you very much. And then this white supremacist bullshit.

Each and every bottle is a different special snowflake. It's a grape. You are turning grapes into poison. Okay. I don't stick my nose into a sun made raisin box. And I'm like, oh, leather and cherry, you know I don't do that. On one end of the spectrum, We've got it dry. On the other. We've got it wet and on the wet side, what they all become different, special little things. No, it it is poison. There are millions,

millions of people in jail for selling weed. But you some dude named Vladimir who's like, I think you're like the grenache. You go to jail. That's what we're talking about, the grenache, Vladimir. I can I can tell you. Thank you, Peter Smith, and now please talking to the mic. Rachel. Oh the jump suit present? What are you thinking? You? Yes, you know, I didn't know that the bowl would be here. You know, she's always here. But we're gonna go pre select.

She's in my head. She let her out. We'll let it out. Okay, so honey, her time starts now. I don't think so, honey, eggs from real last farms, okay, I don't want it alright. That yolk is too yellow? Is mi A or no? Blast? Yellow? Did open? And I said, I don't recognize that egg. I want my eggs mustard yellow. Okay, I want my government issued eggs. If I go to one bar and I don't want to act that like, oh what chicken laid it? I'm opening out. I don't know what it tastes like. Craziness,

madness in my mouth. I'm recognizable to anything I've ever had in my whole life. I want an egg to taste like water, all right, I don't egg. I want my nastiest ship that I get hell coming out of the little star with the thing. One of them is cracked in the back. I don't like this. Every egg is a special and individual bitch. Nor I guess if the eggs, if the chickens being all close together means I get an egg that I recognized, And I guess you can call Peter and arrest me. Okay, and that's

what arrest colored egg. Everyone, it's our streets in the scoop. Look, no friends, Thank you so much, Luke. Pleasure to have you. Okay, what are we thinking? We're going for preeslected topic or the trouball Luke? I was thinking about it, and I think I feel like I could get through my pre selected topic with enough time to do an addition to do a trouble Wow. So what are you saying? You want to do the preest topic for thirty seconds and then at thirty you want me to pull something out.

I'm talking this is thinking like like forty five, forty five you want me to pull it? Okay, okay, all right, okay, all right, we're no no, we're doing plect never been done before. Seconds of your topic and then a fifteen tall which will shock you. Yeah, it will shock you. Okay, this is Luke Knole's I don't think so, honey, because time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Adults like grown esque men and women who are super into Disney. I'm sorry. The movies are made for children, I'm sorry.

And their emotionally manipulative, and they're killing people's grandma's. They killed Mulan's grandma, they killed Pokohama's grandma. They're turning grandma's into skeletons and man raising ship. If you commissioned like a minimalist poster of Leelan Stitch, you shouldn't also have like a really nice exposed brick apartment in Atlanta. Also, I know grown ass woman who has Kuna Matata tattooed across her bood zone and she has that means no

worries for the rest of her days. But she has a child, So like, maybe some worries for some of your days. Also, it's like they call it Peter Pan syndrome for a reason. Your topic is the First Amendment, the first Amendment, guys, I don't think so, honey. For semendment not everyone should be able to say what they want to say. I'm like, there are so many people every day on Twitter who are making that more and more evident topic from Luno, thank you, Evader Wow and

all in time amazing. Well, next up we have Daniel Wow to the stage. Hello, So what do we think the topic or the trollball? Pese lax, I got all the trolls in my ball since Danna lives. I don't think so many A time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Dead Barbara Bush, that's right, the bitch. We invaded a rack and she dressed as a dog and wrote a book. Fuck dead Barbara Bush? Are you kidding me? That bitch

the pearls? What a statement are you? Are you? When the bitch should have used their old Nazi money to give that neck of hers a luftansa. That's a that's a three generation bilingual joke. Fuck that bit. She was surrounded She died surrounded by family and loved ones and

two war criminals, Fuck you dead, Barbara Bush. This we are nuts in this world about like making martyrs out of dead people when she died, right, I mean, remember when Paul Walker died nine thousand Fast and Furious movies and they all sucked and then he died and the world lost its mind, and then two days later Nelson Mandela died and nobody cared. Right, It's like in the fucking nineties when Princess Diana died in the world lost its mind, and Mother Theresa died two days later and

nobody cared. We always lose somebody gorgeous and fussable, and then like two days later, we lose somebody you might have sex with because they did something nice for humanity. I mean, because nothing. Man Della was a handsome man. But let's be honest. The only reason Mother Teresa I ever got any dick was because the woman had no teeth. They get to think about it, about Mother Teresa something to think about. No one talks about that. No one

ever talks about that. They don't talk about that enough in schools. They don't teach a whyt Really well, let's welcome to the stage, Patty. Oh, they're doing the ruined Michelle. Okay, listen, Patty, are we doing priests like the topic or the trouball um? I wanted to do the trouble, but I think that there's something that I've been thinking a lot about that's very important to me than to get it all right, Patty her since I don't think so, honey, her time

starts now. I don't think so, honey. The sloth bear of my store, no egg, queen, Yeah, you all know what it is. In case you don't know what the sloth bear of my store. In nineteen fifty seven, a sloth bear in India and they did a village and killed in a twelve people and named over twenty seven and not on my watch, queen, no way, bitch, nasty bear. I hate that bear. And some more contexts on a

sloth bear. So what makes us bears so violent is that sloth bears have really lost and a lot of bears, even grizzly bears, have shot enough cloths that they can climb trees to escape, so they have a fear response. But sloth bears response is always to fight, and that's a lot of time. It doesn't just eat you, it'll it maim you and leave you live show on your face and all your sensory organs. And I get so fucking worked up over this because they're allowed to exist.

So if you see a fucking phlo bear in said Francisco, do what you need to do, bitch, So sorry gonna put you through that. Thank you for sharing. Welcome of shears made. Oh my god, it is jumpsuit season. I love Okay here you're an old pro. What's it gonna be? Got to pre select, pre select? I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Trees

in cages. You know, when you're walking down the street and you see a tree minus own business on the sidewalk and it's in a full last cage around the trunk. What are we so afraid of? What do we think it's gonna happen? It's just trying to live its life and give us oxygen so we can breathe. Honey. The worst that could happen is that what it grows like it's supposed to, and the roots up. Uplift the sidewalk, well, good,

uplift all the sidewalks. We shouldn't even have them. We're invading the tree space more than the trees are invading our space. And really this is all a microcosm of the American justice system. And then the black treak, just like that man didn't ask to be brought to this country. Break tree, did not ask to be inside walks, sidewalking sidewalks, did not land on wad on sidewalk sidewalk, landed on tree. Yeah. Yeah, something to think about that. No one ever talks about.

No one ever talks about that. I just tied. Just heard a peep out of Alaska. She said, Oh my god, this is too hard. This is a good GRIS is a very good group, but we need some feedback. Let's start. Let's start with you drinks first of all. Um, Yes to every queen who came in a panted romper today, reclaiming your femininity and your masculinity at the same time. Okay, I think there's just so much good stuff off I'm gonna just make I'm gonna claim my winner right now.

And it's because I fucking hate eggs. It's just I hate him so much so, the fact that you hate any kind of egg, whether it be farm fresh or government issued, I feel like we're on the same team. So my winner is Rachel. I'm not going to pronounce a single name correctly tonight, miss Alaska thunder fuck um. Our other winner is and I kept I kept mishearing her name on the mic, and I thought that you were saying Patty Hurst. But I was like, where, but

this is this is our other winner, Patty Harris. Up for everyone and team I'm sure heck Gilly, Pierce Smith, Rachel Pegram, Lukens, Daniel Web, Patty Harrison and the shears. Wow, this is you guys. It's a tight competition, isn't it. I mean, can we give honorable mention to um gives a sheer for the treason cages? Come on, I never even thought of the wild card round round people. Okay, so listen. Now we have Team FUSHA, Team FUSA. Tell them all about This is a pretty stacked group, so

please welcome to the stage. First up, Sydney Washington. Yes here you god, everyone, what's up? Saying hello to Sam Taggerts. And then please welcome Laura La Ramirez. Come on, Laura La Ramirez. Everyone giving up for Andrew Mukes. Who is our straight group? N check it though, Oh you're straight fall on the ground, on the ground. The next up, we have the great Jabooky young Wife. Yes, we have three time last cultures, I kind of award winner Pat Rigan, Yes, honey.

And finally we have the Star of Ocean's a crazy rich agents up. Yeah. Oh all right, people, everyone welcomes Sydney Washington to the mic at this time. Yes, yeah, what have we got? What have we got? We got pre pre hold on one second, this is Sydney Washington's I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Mary Kayton Ashley. Yes, I could drag them on the minute they choose or their terrible clothing line, but this ship is personal. These two bitches

came to my job. I'm away triss, right. They came in. First of all, I didn't know who they were because they had dusty ballet flats and they looked like too homeless little boys. What everybody knew who where they were? And I was like, who are these dirty people? Why are they here? Why are they here? Right? So they come in and they keep king and with the entourage, they got their fifty thou dollar bag, right, they get all the ship. I give him the bill I was like, okay,

they got coins, they're gonna pay me right. First they put eight hundred dollar over tip. I said, yes, I'm going on a trip. Yes, I'm paying my rent. Then one of the twins, I don't know which twin it was, but she said no, no, no, that's too much. What that's just enough? I need more. So then they scratched it out and put six hundred dollars. I was like, okay, I can still work with that. I can still work with that. Then another funk from the back was like, no,

that's too much money. They scratched that out. They scratched that ship out so many times. They left me fifty fucking pitch. It left me fifty dollars. And it don't be very black white dress at work. I don't think so, Honey, Mary Kane fucking ask me. But I have to hear the end of that story. This fuck that blast. But those ghosts, they are ghosts. We love them, We love them though, no, we love them, No, we love them. Next up, we have our friends, Sam haggling, so nervous.

Shut up. I'm an idiot. You believe in you so much? Can you look amazing? To shut up? Looks so good. Absolutely, I'm sure we're gonna talk about how could you look? I love you an idiot? Okay, what do you pick? Do you? Big priest liked it? I thought about this a lot, okay, and I'm gonna pick priest. Okay, Okay, interesting, this is Sam Taggards. I don't think so, honey. As time starts now, I don't think so honey. Sir Nicholas Jonas and the gay men who allow him to continue, yes,

does he even make music? I just see these gay men worshiping him and his fucking hot asked body like, who cares. I'm not trying to be a bit, but if you're a gay man and you want a hot ass patty, probably just look in the mirror. You probably work out all the time. You work out all the time. Nick Jonas has a hold over you. It is a spell, and I feel that there is something larger happening here with the government. I don't want to talk about conspiracy theories,

but something is up. I honestly feel that at the snap of Sir Nicholas's finger, you would kill. You would turn to your partner and you would kill. And look. I don't want to get into these conspiracy, but you are under a spell by the government that controls Sir Nicholas Jonas, look inside yourself, and that's when I didn't. It's a call to act. It's true. We all need to really think about where we're at. Okay, coming to the stage is Laura La Ramirez. Everyone, Laura La Laura.

Do we know what we're doing is gonna be pre selected or trollball? It's pre selected. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. My big big bonner I cannot control. It's so big. It's so big it hurts. Every time I think of men falling from the sky or sexy ladies. It just gets bitter and get bigger and bigger, and then it goes into side of my eyes inside off act bread. It comes on my ears. You know what I'm talking about.

You know I'm talking about you know I'm talking about. Let's cheer my big big botner. Yeah, yeah, I don't think my big big bonner goes down when I think about Christian Stewart. She's bad. She supports one ellen that's really bad. Did you know that there's a tape of Christie Stewart as a little kid. Su did It's all my Apple TV. I got it and I watched it and I got a big, big, big big ball. Lord. Oh yeah, I don't think so hard me. Wow, I wanted it. Whoever that little boy was. That little boy

was funny. That was beautiful, all right, and now give it up for Andrew Dismuyes bravery. Okay, okay, Andrew, Hi, Hi, we have something written down on some on some paper, so it seems like selected. Yeah. I couldn't even memorize a minute of material. Okay, it's okay, baby, It's okay baby. Okay, Andrew, this is your I don't think so, honey, and his time starts now. Okay, I don't think so honey. Escape

room familiar with this white nonsense San Francisco. Yeah, um, escape rooms are a proof that white people will pay money to feel like they can't get out of something. It's not just white, it's also nerd ship. What are you doing? On a website for an escape room in l A. It says it's great for dates, family outings, and corporate team building events. You know what's never good at anything? That's all three of those. If you've ever been on a date and been like this would be

a great corporate team building exercise. It's probably a terrible date. It's nerd ship. You wouldn't wear a fedora on. You wouldn't wear a fedor on a date. And going on a date to an escape room is like locking a woman inside a fedora. Everybody doing that's that's real good everyone. It is time for jabooky young Yes, yes, yes, what's up? What's up? What's have pre selected? Okay, I'm gonna read it off my phone like a two thousand eleven Drake

free stuff. Okay, jabooky, jabooky turn on Drake so fast, so quick. I was his biggest supporter. He's the light skinned queen. He is our queen. We answer to that, jabooky young Whites. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Lattis you nasty bitch? Lettuce is the honeydew of leafy green one on. She just sits there and she takes up space and she lets the other one shine best. And you know what's sucked up. You know what's sucked up. Miss Spinach has

been out here putting in lurk for years. Miss Finish has been doing so much. She's crossed over. She has done smoothies, wraps, motherfucking cass who rose? Okay, okay, but look, but look, people say that she doesn't play in Middle America, so she doesn't have as big of a career as Lettuce. Doesn't you know how funked up that is. That's fucked up. That's fucked up. Also, Iceberg, Lettuce, what the funk are

you doing? Bitch? I don't think so, honey, Like you could be using that water to like give to thirsty humans instead. Like that ship tastes like come druns cardboard and like that is on a good day, honestly, Like that ship is so nasty. Um, that's one I did you dirty? But I think it was enough. That was that was a good placed. No faith of vegetables crossed over, the faith till of vegetables. That's spinach, spin dep spin dip exactly. It's it's become an appetizer. She's crossed over.

She's the face she showed us verst atility. She has the rain, and now it is time for pata. Okay, pat, what's this going to be? What I've selected is pretty sell. Okay, but I don't think so money. As time starts now, I actually don't think so honey, Troy Savan Okay, first, you're like a twenty two gay successful already. I don't think so honey. Okay, no offense jabooky, so honey, I don't think a choice Savon. I mean he started this fucking epidemic of these young girls, did I going platinum?

Sucking blond? Okay, dying your hip pot and blonde is not a fucking personality that that makes you interesting like it is the new like going abroad for twenty year old game man um, I don't think, so honey, like these over dramatic like scoop knights, I'm done with the scoop. Next, let me see a flor, a floral butting down. I don't think so, honey, I don't think so many traits of on the metaphor bloom for bottoming. What is this

mysticizing of bottoming? Okay, this artful metaphor like bottoming isn't art. Okay, it's implorant. It's healthy, but it isn't art, and it's pretentious. But a second to bloom for one person? Have you ever seen choice of on? Timothy Chilly in the same room at the same time. I don't think so, honey. On expiracy theory ECO, and no one ever talks about that. You've never seen them in the same room, and no one ever talks about it. Please welcome to the stage,

fey already, so bad? Be good? Okay, like half a trollball and half like a alright, so first thirty seconds will be your regular topic, and then first thirty second shot out. So I have to like yell and speak really fast. Okay, whatever your pace is. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now, Okay, I don't think so honey. Pigeons, um, they're so fucking disgusting. I was outside of Ralphs in

Los Angeles and I saw one pigeon. It was fucking another pigeon, and that pigeon was sucking a dead pigeon and the dead pigeon was squashed like a fucking pancake. You guys are so discussing even want to vomit out of my fucking asshole. I fucking see pigeons in New York. They fucking walk around and sucking sixty nine fucking dead squirrels and ship like that. So I fucking hate pigeons. I wish they all die. I don't give a funk

kicking one of the going live on Instagram. Going live on Instagram, you know what you look like, You're fucking idiots. Going live on Instagram is well, you look like, yeah, you guys so stupid. Going live on Instagram and anything you want to come up with stuff, there's all you're doing, like, oh, what's up? You're on seconds cool? You act like you're

not reading the compliments. You are reading every single coment coming down, and you're just like, yeah, yeah, it's it's a new it's a new cuts five seconds okay, uh yeah, um okay, all right, yeah, I as respect another strong group here, but all right, let's go jinx some feedback for these young these young girls. I can't believe, Okay and Ashley did that to you. I'm so upset. Um okay, there's a lot of good stuff. I circled literally, everyone's like, yeah,

but I do have a favorite? Um okay, so do I yeah? Okay, So Andrew dis mucus, how do you say dis mukes? Okay? Wonderful. He moves on to the final round. I didn't get to say anything. Okay, first of all escape rooms. Yes, that is white nonsense. Trixie Mattel describes this like puzzles escape rooms. That's white people

creating problems for themselves because they're so privileged. And you may be the token straight appear, but many wonderful love affairs have started with me dressed as a milk and some straight guy looking kind of uncomfortable and frightened, and then it led to nine months of sheer bliss. So this is my Instagram handle. You can direct message me. There you're going and you win. She's amazing. Wow, Wait later you were were you stirring a cauldron earlier? Oh?

Circling everyone? Circling everyone because you loved everyone so much? Feedback from you? What do you think of this? Because no matter what happens, Um, you all are champions. You are All Stars. You are and if you don't win this time, you can always come back for All Stars and possibly win that. Yeah. Um, if you don't do it right the first time, just come back and try at it, or if you lose first, you can exit the stage saying your last name over and over and

be canonized. Stream season. My choice, my choice, my choice, My choice for winner is Sydney Washington, give it up for everyone, Sydney Washington, Sam Taggert, Lorlier and Pat thank you. At this time, we are going to welcome our finalists on stage for a troll Bowl only final round, and at the end, you guys will have to agree together

on a winner on one win. All right, everyone, please welcome Marie Fallston, Molly Austin, Rachel Pegram, Patty, Harry Soon, Andrew Disney and Sydney Washington, Sydney Washington, this crew, this is all stars. Okay, let's just get right into it. Um, we don't have much time left. Let's start with Marie fall Marie Fauston to the to the mic, and this is a Trollball only round. Oh sis this well, I didn't get that email. It was in the email. It was in the email. The email culture read the fucking

email email or my Yahoo. I don't think so, honey, having to okay, alright, okay, I'm not ready, All right, Marie Fauston, Okay, currently these people are performing outside your I don't think so, honey. Topic is salt and pepper, and your time sharts now. I don't think so strong black women killing it in. We got a lot of nerve to be up here, just Megan, White people like us. I don't think so soft having found Jesus and not

doing all how freaky f reps. No, I don't think so Pep and spindle Ella and all of other people that are just thriving with matching haircuts and checks. I don't think so black girls were too magical for these white people. They are not prepared. Okay, do you see this pilt that I'm wearing. It's not even mine, but it's cute though. Fifteen seconds here thriving like a queen should be. Okay. I don't think so Salt and Pepper and Spinderella, because that's not a splice. There we go.

I don't think some white people who don't see any food because you need salt and Pepper's on a competitive final round. Everyone for Molly Austin in these finals. Molly, we've drawn a trouble topic for you, and your trouble to is another email MC Nicki Minaj and your times starts now. I don't, I don't. I don't think so Nicki Minaj, and I'll tell you why real fast. I do not like a fake British accent because I do

not like England. I would tell you why. I don't need to be reminded of a place that reigns all the time, people who think they're funny for no reason. Okay, Honey, I don't. I don't need it. I don't. I'll tell you what else I don't need from you, Nick, NICKI minaj is that I don't think and I think, God, I don't think I would like to be friends with you. I don't think that would be fun. I would. I think you would say not nice things to about my shoes a lot, and that's what you are not. She's

probably very critical. And when it comes to Wardrob, oh my god, that was very hard. Okay. And now to the mic is Rachel Pegram. Okay, okay, Rachel Pegram. Your I don't think so. Any trouble finale topic is Terry Gross and your alright, it's fine, it's fine. We're gonna for something else. Not everyone knows Terry Gross. I'm sorry, fresh Air. All right, Okay, let's see she has Okay, Okay,

your trouble topic is Bobby from Queer Eye. Bobby is the one that does yes Bobby for the most unimpeachable one. This is. I don't think her time starts now. Yeah, I don't think. Honey, Bobby, what's up with you? You are here on the show doing all the work. Well, you should do less. You'll see all of your cats faces. They gotta do a little bit and they get a lot of credit. Anthony Avocado's life, Uh fucking He's like, yes, put this shirt on. Fucking Jonathan, He's like work ok.

Like Corebo is like, wow, your life is going, Like, come on, Bobby, do less. Like look at that house and be like, I don't know, slap a ConA paint. Let's go home for the week. We've gotta been a shooting. You's out here. You're doing work outside. I was not getting paid for it. Who knows what that rate looks like? Is he to Sam? It better be after at least? Oh my god, Bobby's doing too much work out here, not enough credit? Man? About was Bobby? I don't signed

with so many people. I get more fun than I man, And I was Bobby gotta be a damn maskuly man. Yes, yes, come into the My for a trouble is past, okay, alright, Patty, your trouble Finelle topic is when people say peace out and it's just here. Things at times starts. Now, I don't think so honny people who say peace out, Okay, the idea of peace doesn't exist. No, no, it can't exist because you know why, capitalism, my favorite thing of

all time exists. Oh more capitalism. Everybody loves it. Oh, and I have to say this is not And I don't think so many. I love war. I do think so, honey. I love war the way people go out there and they're kicking stuff down and like just like dragging whole like communities of people. It's so. I mean, chef's kiss is a little hack, but I'll just keep doing it. Anyways, My I don't think so honey. Uh yeah, saying peace out, what do you have else to offer? You know what?

Some other things you can say is by you can says nice Sissia. You can say, um, I'm actually not that culture. So I don't know other languages. And that's a choice I make. And that's that's strong. Anyways. Yeah, don't say peace how saying something kind of say um, I'm she's crying again? By cheerfully, she so moved, she's moved to tears. We all were um now Andrew dismukes. Come on our only now. Oh my god. Okay, now

here we go. The trollball topic is as follows. We're gonna pick it right, how okay you're I don't think so, honey. Finale topic is Hillary and your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Hillary Duff? The fuck you doing on TV lands you are, Lizzie McGuire, Why are you on Younger? Y'all seen that show is actually great? Um there is a marathon going down in the Holiday Inn right now. Yeah, I just watched it. It's getting bad for Lizzie. No, I don't think so, Honny, Hillary Duff,

because I just don't think so. Overall this whole Disney Channel. Actors are awesome musicians, but then they're back as actors when they're adults again. I don't get it. I don't know any of her songs. Uh. This is just I'm just I'm happy to be a part of the show and uh seconds keep going even like make it to the finals is like incredible. And to be here with five second, to be here with what I call the future.

The future is on stage, every one, Thank you, thank you, And now finishing up the finale round, is Sydney Washington? Sidney a crowd favorite, A crowd favorite? Okay, bone, what do we have here Sydney? Or I don't think so, honey. Topic is Melissa Joan Hart another nineties darling? Your time starts now? I don't think so, honey, Melissa Joan Hart? Because who are you? You can never be your mother? Why don't you do something else? Why am I thinking of the same person? Are you thinking? Was she on

et Norina? The Teenage Listen? It's too many white people on TV. I can't. I don't think so, honey, you white women that got the same names. I can't keep up. It's too much. I'm too tired. I got too many jobs. Okay, I got two kids at home, just my titties. Anyway, I can't. Melissa Joan Hard? What is she doing? What is she doing for us? Can she give me her Netflix password? Because honestly, what are you doing? Said? Get your name? Do something? I can't? Did she have a

shoe line? Jeans? What can she do for me? Can she give me a swipe on the tray? What is she doing? Can she give me your uberpool code? Like? What's going on? Melissa John Her? Who is she I don't know who she is. I still Y'll tell me who that's she's really super tract here Melissa Johns her and Terry Gross, we don't know who the fuck you are they all right, So listen, this has been the final round. This is the time when we are giving out the winner and this person will be named the

third last Cultured Recess Icon Award winner. So Jinx and Alaska, let's give some final thoughts and then some final word and if you win, come to the front of the stage and have your fucking goddamn moment moment um. I I commend you Molly for having to talk bad about the we Nicki Minaj just you have way through. You just hated yourself, so you get my honorable mention. Oh God, all her songs just rhyme words with themselves. It's just like cake Boss. I'm the cake boss. You want a

cake boss because I'm the cake Boss. And then the last time she says it, she says it in a weird voice like Kate Moss. You can't just you can't just rhyme a word with itself over, Yes you can if it's got a sick beat. O. Um. Well, but I know. Okay, so you got my honorable mention? Do you have an honorable mention? Before we announced the winner? Yes? Uh, silly for not knowing who Melissa Joan Art was still thinking it worked. Yeah, why doesn't she have a shoe line?

I would buy them. I don't think so, honey, Melissa Joan Hart because she has never been in a movie, a TV show, or any project that wasn't produced by her father. Look at it. He's the executive producer on every single project she has ever worked on. Anyway, wait, hold on, wait, before we announced the winner, So you guys want to agree us and I don't think. Yes, we wore my comfy shoes in my pants for this, Yes, and this is her seems I don't think so many

time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Giving drag queens an inch and we deserve a mile. Okay. You have carved out this tiny little market that we get to inhabit in mainstream media, and you have deemed us a novelty act, and you gave us a TV show, but you still put us in the background and treat us like we are fless celebrities when we have two

times the Instagram followers is half of these celebrities. Yes, I know that there have been many queer people making it big in mainstream media these days, but Neil Patrick, Harris is Jim Parsons, even though they are extremely talented, are still white cis gendered men. So it's the only way you can be queer and make it big is if you are non threatening. Then funk that. I'm happy being in fleis celebrity because at least my community knows how hard I work for them. Yeah, she did. That's

one man. That's why I'm gonna Alaska. Could you could Alaska Thunderfuck? Yes, she's gonna pick from this ball cotroball she's doing. She's gonna do it herself. Everyone Alaska thunder And I don't think so, Honey, Alaska. I'm gonna pick it out ourselves, all right. What we can do I can do? Okay, Ready to go. I'll have to UNDERFROMPT I think so many times starts now, Glenn Close, I don't think so Glenn Close, more like Glenn far. I fulled him up real good. I'm sorry, bitch, Candice Bergen, No,

I do think so. Robert Mueller. I think it should be pronounced Mueller that show full House. You know how they did the reboot Fuller House. Do you know why it's called fuller House because their last name is Fuller in that that's true. I'm not even making it up. That's why they call it Fuller House. Duchess of Sussex Megan Marco. I think she was on the Let's Make a Deal Millionaire box, which I think is really cool. One more, one more Cinderella, the girl not the movie.

She left her shoe at the club. Girl, she's that girl and she's like getting the prints, like she's getting rewarded for like getting wasted, and like that one rapid fire troubles never been done before. All right, Oh my god, that was unbelievable, breaking all the rules but making them really alright, So ladies, it is now time to announce the winner. Everyone please rise and hold hands like your best fucking friends were. Okay, everyone, okay, what who have

we decided? Is the last? Culture says kind award winner here at cluster fs and thank you cluster Fes for having us the winner. Six finalists sound before us. Prior to this evening, you received an email explaining that the finalists round would be chosen from a bowl of blue pieces of paper. The time has come for a winner

to be analysis. The winner tonight one thousand true. Our winner tonight is Rachel Peganait it up for Rachel First Playlist, Thank you so ch and We'll give it up for Drinks a month soon and Alasta thunder Fuck, thank you so much. My name is Matt Rogers, Test Fast, tell us World out for this Spice World coming up Forever. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by

Brett Bahum, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.