"Farm To Runway" (w/ James Anderson)

you like come back around? Like? Oh, I actually like the entire time I was in New York, I was like I'm never leaving New York. And then I left New York for fifteen minutes and was like, oh forget it. Okay, that's how that went. Because now it's like now it's just like you guys know you don't have to live here, right, yeah, well you have to live here. Our guests has to

live here, right for work work. But in general, it's like there's so many more habitable places elsewhere, but there the habitable, the habitable places aren't too far from here either. I also, I'm making a mental note right now to ask our guests where he actually lives here around because I think I know the answer. I think I might know the answer. Okay, well this isn't but we haven't brought her in. We haven't brought her in yet. That's it's not time for her. So this is what I

want to say to you. I'll be back all the time and you'll come to me. See. That's the thing though, is that like on my time off, I don't know if I'll want to be in l A. People necessarily allay, Well, the thing is like, you'll make sacrifices for our friendship, right, yeah, and you'll make sacrifices, right, But I won't be coming here all the time. This is the way, will be going there all the time. So who said all the time?

I said sometimes get I actually said the next time that we should record a bunch of episodes because we are backlogging famously, that you should come to me because we have we we've interviewed every every bit here we have, We've done it. We've talked to everyone in New York. Meanwhile, we have people in Los Angeles. When's my turn? And I got I Los Angeles led when's my turn? When's my turn? I'm just saying we need bonwe Yane to come out there because I'm not hosting it with Jokim Booster.

I'm not. Oh, I'm not doing it. He's got his own podcast. He's at his own podcast. Now. Well, um, okay, I'll do that. I will do that. We have to make it work because a lot of people are are, you know, questioning me saying what about the pod? What about the pot? Said? The pod is something that we put up on a high pedestal and we will do it until we die. Yeah, I think, what what? What is your thing with l A? You feel like you

can have a vacation there. It's not my thing. It's not anything about l A. It's just that it is such a I go there and I think, okay, it's it's you're not relaxed. Not relaxed. That's that's all it is. It's a frame of mind. Okay, all right, see yourself in a good friend of mine, how about that for once? Okay. I just I just think there's just so many hurdles, so many little there's a thousand you know, points of a thousand little needles, a thousand little there's a confusion

saying a thousand daggers. It's like a thousand dollars said, life is a life is a thousand joys and daggers or something like, you get the good, you get the bad, but it's all life. Yeah, so that's what what what? What? Come to a later record episodes of me okay, bring Confucius into this? Oh my god, um, we have to bring well are the most perfect person there is? This is the thing. It's like, do you remember, Oh, I know you do? We before you worked at the institution

when we met him. When we met him, we were a guest of Sudi Greens and we said to Sudi, hello, we're here to be a guest for this episode. We were in the writer's room and she said, let's just go to my office. My office, and which are my Which is my favorite series of word? This was? This was the Jeweler Julia Louis Drif this episode of season forty one or something like that. And we went up to the writer's area and we were introduced to this man, our guest today today, and we got to talking and

then you and I both had this feeling. I had this feeling in my brain, heart and Lloyds that I needed to ask a question, and I was like, do you remember a sketch called Deep Past Dish? And he said, yeah, that was me, and I was when I realized he had written Deep Past Dish. And then you guys went off about Deep Past Dish, and that's when I realized he also had written Gays in Space. And then I think I'm going to say that I was the one who asked him and were you did you have anything

to do with gays in Space? And from there it was revealed to me and to you that he had written everything I connected with throughout my whole pretty much like awareness of SNL that this man had written for me. It was just like he had written everything that I was just like he because you know, it's it's this thing that we talked about all the time here where it's just like you latch onto something growing up and you don't know why, you don't know why, and then

like when you grew up, it all makes sense. I mean, like that's that's what that was. That that was that And so I think I even had like a moment of factortory where I was like, he hasn't understand how seen you made me as a gag and he was like, wow, this is a lot, but it was. It was a very fun moment to have that well because and then I think you and I talked about it for like so so long afterwards. We were gagged. We were just like, wow, what what would have true true joy? And how lucky

are we that we got to tell him? How veteran veteran, legendary SNL writer, SNL writer, star of Hudson Valley Ball love Hudson Valley Ballers. Yes, I stand Paula, and we stand Paula. You know, I met Paula. I interviewed her at Sundance. Huh and um. I was too like sort of like, yeah, the boundaries are weird. Yeah I was. I was just like kind of did tiptoeing around it. But I was like I was, I wonder what would I have said, I've met James, and she would have

been like like, fuck you out of my face. I'm here to talk about wine country. I'm here to talk about wine country. I'm here to talk about documentary. Now, documentary right the way, anyway, who are we talking about here? We're talking about the one, the Only. Please welcome into your eight years James Anderson. Hi, don't do this. No, I'm gonna have this voice, don't have this mask. Drag here. How dare you stop say the masculinity knocked your head?

Funds right off your damn head. Okay, James, was that night like truly a lot for you these two? No? I loved it. I I don't think of anything like that, And you know, you guys were so wonderful that night and talking about it. It It just made me feel like, Oh, I'm doing something more than just being silly. Maybe I don't know, but I actually think it was like it probably like when you were writing that that stuff, like, it didn't feel like it just felt like, oh, finally,

thank god I got something on. But for watching it at home, I was like, oh my god. And I remember like my this is like whatever. But my straight friends like also liked all those sketches because I think they weren't thinking of it as like like gay humor.

They thought about just like SNL. I mean, while I knew it was like inherently queer, like watching Maya come Out and space like that was like there was something about that where I was just like, this is for me in such a deep way that I could never understand all the stars are out tonight. Moonlight in your hair feels right. If the thing is like now you have to like really dig defined it, but you shouldn't

dig define. Oh my god, those were so fun. I mean it was just like a bunch of divas on a spaceship having their you know, these girls were just at each other's throats, that loved each other in exploring space, yes, and had their exploring space yeah, and had their diva like that. You know, we all have like that that gay icon and that was their gay icon. Yes, yes, yeah, So that's what the story is because because she's on

a different sets, she's not from the narrative. If we had to know, she probably is like a Katie Perry that that came in and not maybe not that big. Days in Space was probably not a big show. It was on a channel that, yeah, MTV Plus. But I'm I guess what I'm asking is like in the narrator, in the world of the show of Gays in Space, Maya's character, who is not does not figure into the actual story, is just a pop star and that you well,

the writers were like, we love her. Yeah, the writers of the show, they were like, yeah, we have to get her. We have to get you know, the enders sends. You know she has to do it, so you um, I have to ask more about the name. By the way, the one line I remember from Gazes basis well, listen, I took my moon pants into my gravity boots. Shania so like Shania Twain also is a figure in this. Yes, but maybe Shania was just like a name that you

toss off. That's true. You are iconically good at naming characters. I think you know that. Tell me more about me. Stop you take it. We're gonna we're gonna get this out the way. Just just up top. So Beginnings chang as I feel and I feel like it's recurring beginnings chring Latista stro Oh, yeah, she came back this year, didn't she did? Beginning? What she was in? Was she in the I don't know she was. Yeah, it wasn't a grounded sketch. Oh, but oh she was. Oh she

was serious. Was she was like a serious person. It was like, I don't remember, was it my name is Beginning. It was like it was like, hi, I'm my name is Beginnings chang The Beginnings chang by Everyone who doesn't know is again another My Rodolf character in Deep Past Dish. Literally, I remember the episode with the Matthew five episode and Beginnings.

Chang in Deep Past Dish performs tiny moves about how you have to make move very small in the clubs so that you don't hurt someone when you dance, because she had had an experience where I tweaked out queen while with a glove stick. So you don't understand, like this is like, this is like deep in my heart. Yeah, this is like deep in my heart and soul. Yet to me, they really were like, I mean, this is taken for what it is like, but it did like

I mean I'm able to say it verbatim. That means they have like a formative impact on They burrowed into your brain. Yea um. But yeah, so we had also in that episode of that that sketch had Latisa stro played by Amy Poehler, who fell down some scaffolding, who sang cologne. Oh, and I used to wear this. I forgot. I forgotten. Yeah you forgotten, cause it's like years later, but I mean iconic to me. But and then I think,

I don't think I've asked you. This Christian song fashion was also you uh like something like wait, what was that diamonds fashion or like it's something It was some some sort of like it was not deep past dish, but it was just like a music video set where she was just like a dynasty type. I don't know. I think that may have been Emily. Yeah it no,

I don't know. Do you have like because I I like, do you have like a cast member like throughout, like because you're Christen a lot like you were like a team is there you work with Cecily a lot? Now? Yeah? Can do anything? So good? Yeah, it was there. It was like you guys had the idea to do mean meaning in the Ladies Room. Oh yeah, you know that was kind of uh well, Gays in Space was sort of based a little bit that little talkie part, you know when she counts down yes, yes, yes, oh no,

it's going to get intergalactic. It's scandalous is climax? Oh yeah? Wow? Right right right? Oh so that is the inspiration a little bit because I just love bitches like just talking through a song. Yeah yeah yeah, I'll never forget. Like under I didn't know what Meeting in the Ladies Room was until they did a lip sync of it. On RuPaul's Drag Race, and I was just watching it like

I was like, what the fuck is this song? But like the Queens knew it like down which now of course I get why, but it's just like watched Queens just know that whole spoken word part like truly good telling someone off someone Stacy Lane Matthews doing it. Yes, Stacy Lane is so good. Now I'm even thinking it's even funnier that, like, um, gays in Space was so iconic to us with no reference for what May was doing, just like like I love this and it's just like

doing like something we have no reference for, etcetera. We tried to do it after she left and Will Forte went into that part had a turtleneck, you know, it was it was pretty good. It was harder to get gay stuff on then, Um huh not, well that's interesting. I don't think so it has gotten gay or in the past time. I think I think it was just

here and there. I don't recall being I didn't actually, um, you know, that was always like the little gift like when I got to write something that that I felt was a part of me and I was like, oh that's fun. But a lot of times. You know, you were just doing you know what I wanted to get out. Yeah, yeah, just whatever. Um was not necessarily there was an a gay theme to it, but just something that had a concept or whatever to get on the show. But I don't,

I don't know. I can't, I can't. You know, it's all such a blur. It is a blur. It's like I can't believe I've been there twenty years and I'm sitting there and I think back on some of the things that have that, um, you know, all the I'm blessed to have had this job. It's it's an amazing experience. But then I can't believe. I'll go back and watch something and um, I'll be like, oh, I think I think this was me. Like the NBC posts a lot of old sketches, and they posted one the other day

of musical about spring break I am. I know it's called Woo. I don't think it got a lot of laughs. But Maya Rudolph at the top of that doing this time I've got the springbreak Fever. Yeah I can. I can sing the whole song. Can I sing the whole longing? I'd love it? Who spring break Fever? Sleeping on the floor, y'all, hysterious bruises, intestinal parricides, who Mexicanglin eating the worm, y'all losing McKees, losing my person maa Jinnah at spring break?

O good James. Let's shift it over to your summer. How was it were you? Were you upstate the whole time? Even? What did you do? Oh? God, I just tell me, I didn't. I know, What's what's up with that? Where? Where? Where have you been? I've been here complaining, he is and had to I've been complaining. I mean, did you know from the get go? I mean, I'm sure you had was where you were, like we shot huts and valley ballers or whatever. But it's like, do you take

the time to just fully yeah, clear the whole summer? Yeah? You people learned. Sometimes I just kind of go into a vacuum chamber with like cold fluids and just try to get my remote youth back. But that's but that's like that's like the right way to do it, though, I think, because I'm so I'm like annoyed at myself that I didn't give myself that I don't know, this is this is what I wanted to ask you do you live upstate. I I kind of go back and forth, but we do spend quite a bit of time up there.

We live on the well, it's Accord and I just found out that we live on the Fruit Loop. That means there's a lot of gaze on a loop there and you just do the loop. But you know, I don't know any of them and all your all your life. I met one the I found one. What's wrong with me? There's you know, the damn bathhouse. No, um, I uh. I knew him from the city and I'm like, I know you from the city and He's like, yeah, and he said he lived near Accord And I said, um,

do you live on the Fruit Loop? And he said he was the first fruit on the loop? Oh how everything? Every queen thinks of the first fruit on the loop? Sam Smith? Sam Smith, how are you at you You're not Howard Ash Honey? Honey? Wait? So then, how I mean is it like, are we talking like a dozens of gays or hundreds? I think there's quite a few. Yea. I know some gays that have flocked up state. Yeah, yeah,

and um, you know the Swishouts, the Swishops, Swishouts. But no. When I'm up there, I'm basically just you know, really bird dugging for like some animals, I'm just like, oh god, I hope a bear comes up today. Who's waiting at the window. Get some damn excitement in the loop. Come on, are you your cat up there? Oh? Yeah? We bring them back and forth. They hate it cat folk. Yeah, oh god yeah. We have three three, um well, two rescues and one bought kitty. The bought kitty just happened.

She he he. He had his big paws on the window, the window, and you were like, okay, yeah, I couldn't resist. What are the names of the cats, Jasper, Odie and Dinah Jasper Jasper's name. Yeah, Jasper is the glamour kitty. None of them like me. Why because Mike feeds them. I'm always you know, when I'm working, I'm not feeding them, so they love him, and um occasionally they'll look at me like all right, I'll lay on you for a song,

I'll lay on you for a second. I would rather you would rather day lay on you like four hours all the time. I had a cat like that. Pam, Yeah, Pam. I adopted a cat. Her name was Pamela. And I took her to the vet and then um, I gave him my last name. When they came out to they said, Pamela Anderson, you did that on purpose. I well, you know what, I think. I didn't. I did not know. I didn't know until it happened, and then I was like,

oh god, I love that. I wish I but she already had the name, you know, and she was Pamela Anderson. The cat missed pam Yeah. Do you remember a time when Pamela Anderson was the queen? The queen that was? That was an era. I think she still is. I don't know about that. She's been doing a lot of She's been like showing up. I mean, this was a few years ago. She like shoot up at Windy Wendy Williams talked about. I think it was either like I think she was a victim of breast cancer. She's dating

Juliana Sang whoa never mind, Okay, I remember that. Yeah, now we remember why she's relevant. Yeah, and that's that's not great. Yeah, she's like he's a really good guy. It's really nice inside. You know. Her poster was like all the dudes band lockers, you know, I was the only one who didn't have her and I found I believe it was Joan Collins from Dyna. Yeah, I wanted a woman, of course, throw everybody off because the year was nineteen whatever. I'm not gonna say, but it was

Joan Alexis Carrington. Yes, yes, but oh you know what this is. This is a beautiful connection. Is that Matt and I will constantly watch the Aloxis and um, caro d Carroll, I freaking that seems it's one of the best. What is it? She goes, it's petruscian bluga. No I prefer Patriciana. And then they say the champagne it's burn must have been burned in the bottle, it's been frozen to the bottle. And then and then it's just this moment of like and they don't even they don't even

fight in that scene. They don't fight. It sets up a scene a few a few hours later where they do fight the bedroom. Common misconception about Dynasty they don't fight. Ever, they don't fight in every episode. It's real culture number nineteen. Common misconceptions. They don't fight in every episode. Um, but there there's But Diane Carroll does leave that scene saying for now the best scene ever. So that scene should

be encased in gold. I don't know. I watched. I have watched that more times than I should write hundreds. I prefer Patrician. It's very good. What are you doing in Denver? Oh my god? It all takes place in Denver? Right, that's the stupidest, most unbelievable thing, as a Denver and like this would no place in Denver looks like this. No one dresses like this. And everyone in Denver's talking about like a mid Atlantic accent to why are they talking like that in Denver? There's no mansion like that

in Denver. You're an artest model and what is it? That's what she goes wrong. I also like, she goes only small yachts, and you get sick yacht only small, And she goes what everybody's saying is true. You have the most beautiful condo and Denver, you're one of the most beautiful ladies. And she goes, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. It's a perfect scene. We need a return of the soap. They really tried to bring back the soap with Empire and with Dynasty when they

rebooted Dona, Right, they did reboot it. But the thing like, have you watched it? Have you seen any of it? Have you? So the thing is like, I guarantee it can't actually be like real camp, you know what I mean? Like they're not doing real camp now. I guess Riverdale is like, is the closest thing we like heightened? But it's not. Well, maybe it is camp. No, because you're the you're the last word on camp. What is that camp?

I'm the last pardon? I mean you should have seen him during the goddamn met Ball He was like, that's not camp. That's not when Metall was happening. I was at it was at work, and then it was me and Chay watching it together and I was explaining too. It was me, Lauren Mandel and Chain. I was like, and he's like, what's going He's like, he's like he turns to me, He's like, is that good? I was like, no, it's bad. Actually it needs to be bad and it needs to be in poor taste, but like it needs

to celebrate poort taste. So no, it's not on theme. And I was like, oh god, I'm telling Michael Chay like whatever stuff. Um so who wasn't camp? I feel like most people weren't. It was Lena Dunham was camp. She looked like bad on purpose? Is anyone who looked bad on purpose? People who try to be like gay kind of misunderstood. I feel like, what's his face? Like, um, Ezra Miller? I thought Era Miller was camp. Don't know. I had like ten eyes, which I thought was camp.

But I also think because there's like this weird thing where it's like no one really knows or kind of because even that definition that you're going by for camp is like Santag's definition of camp, and she doesn't define that word for everyone. That's her. That's her interpretation of what and what she says that it like it changes with the times and that it's yeah, it needs to

be contextualized whenever. But we were talking. We we had an episode with Betty Gilpen and we discussed this for a little bit, which is like, um, you know, like the met Gallet takes itself so seriously that nothing it ever do can be camp, even if it calls itself camp. It's like, because it takes itself so seriously and we're gonna watch it with a critical it's not so they're getting photographed and it's like, how camp be am I

gonna be? Because I really don't want my you know, I want to look just so Yeah, I don't want to be like camping it up so much that everybody's like, what is wrong with her mind? Totally well with Lena as she was wearing a tight silk bag of flower and like like elbow length gloves and just being like like that was kind of funny. It's like very the intention was all there. And what about Jared Leto, Yeah, I liked that sort of like that can't be, can't

be anyway. But I thought holding her own head as you go into the met gartlet was camp. I wish it had been a puppet m could have his finger up. But something we've all thought about with Jared Lito and I'll be the first to say it. I'll be the first to say It'll be the first second. He actually is someone who I believe is so hot that he couldn't do it for me. He could take my head and slam it into a wall. Yeah, I think he's so hot. Jared Lee, though you know, I'm I agree

with you. You know, there was a point, probably when I was younger, that I'd be like, oh no, no, no, no no, but now, oh honey, anything anything below forty'll do? I get that for me? For me, it's like I don't know. Well, you know, he also has like a like a big big They say he has a big, big, big, big, big penis and that you can see it often in photos. And I'll talk about this apparently it's apparently it's like

a damn elephants trunk. If you look at pictures of this stuff, you'll be very surprised to see how large that is. And um, he's the ranks among well. So once there's a there's a couple of photos that are like, look at these photos where you can tell that Jared Leto has a big cock, and it's like, I'm like a human being. So I'll just like like yes on that, and then I'll look at all the photos and I'm like, look,

these photos would suggest he has a large penis. Also, the fact of the matter is there's those John Ham photos too, right, thing is swinging around and it's like at this point, when you're in your florities, you know about your penis and if it's large, you know, so you wear underwear to like sport. You get the support, you get the shape where you pull it off. You know you don't unless, of course, you know it's that bad. It's like, you know, well, I almost said if I

have a big dick, that's hilarious what I do. But anyway, I would just let it probably swing to Yeah, I would love the publicity. And it's it's that these people. It's that Jared and John aren't wearing their underwear. I feel that they are letting a fly disrespect. No, no, it's not. I actually have fine with it. But I'm always mortified when like someone says, like, um, like I did a show recently and someone said, people people are comment I'm sorry, really quickly. I want to speak on

your behalf. I'm sorry, but people keep commenting on social media on Matt's moose knuckle, and it's got to stop. Moose knuckle. There you go. I have um is that like I wear tight pants? Let me see so up? Okay, alright, alright, now pull him up. Oh my god, James, Oh no, you don't have it unlets you pull it up. Well yeah, but the thing is like, right now, I'm wearing boxer briefs and I've actually recently switched over to regular briefs.

Are you is it a kay that we're talking about this? Yeah, okay, I just want to be I just have no restrictions. But but I did a show recently and for us, Yeah, you know what I watched the other day. Jared had never seen Bruno. So you ever seen Bruno? Is Sasha Barren Cohen. No, it's it's like you would really like it. He it's like Sasha. You've seen Borat? Oh God, come on, James Anders. James is truly he doesn't He's not beholden to any other Okay, so there's it's literally it's Sash.

He plays like a German um German fashion. Yeah, and so he like there's a scene where he is he has put together a TV pilot and um, they're like a focus group and these people have no idea what they're going to see, their real people and it's just him swinging and then and then the cop points to the screen and then this is why you'd like it. Funny. It's so funny. And then they go into say, Okay,

what did you guys think of that? And it's real people and they're like, worst piece of crap I've ever seen that person's obviously very sick and like it's just so dick centric. And then he goes in and there like mortified. Anyway, we had to turn it off because Jared was like, I can't watch this anymore comfortable. I was so funny and no. Instead we watched The House Funny and he thought it was so funny when she goes, um here introduced yourself to me? When when she says

the names I am Bowen. Yeah, yeah, it's her waynemonic device. Remember watching him discover that was so funny. I was like, you didn't you don't see you've never seen this funny with Anna Faris's very funny saying you know, but James is up on the gay culture. Remember the first thing we did the night we did meet you, we talked all we just talked about the dragons and we were like, girl, yes, come on, have you been watching it? You have watch every I watch every season and you know I have

season was weak. You can say, can I say it? You can say that, um, well, you and I want it as weak as some of the weaker seasons. You and I would show up to work and I'd be like, I just didn't watch. Um, I still sort of was there for it. Yeah, I mean I'm trying to be there for you know. There. I love it. I love it. You can really Oh my god, what I almost okay, forget it. Almost I almost called, oh my god, I can't even think her name has slipped my mind. Oh

my god, Okay, forget it. No, come on, you could finish it. I I almost slipped and called her another name, which is just dumb. We know, and you know what, the most acamic thing about her is her damn name. Rewinding,

So just so I can finish this thought. I was recently told at a show that my dick had been showing the whole first half of the show, really and then somebody said somebody said it was called game show and I did it in Los Angeles with with Dave, and then he was like, you know, your dick is showing and I was like, okay, well the short and it was a pant but I was wearing, and I was like, and then someone said, well, we thought that's

what you were going for. And I would never want people to think I was the type of gal who'd go up there with this thing swinging around, not that that's a bad thing. No, and I think it is a bad thing. I don't think. I think like, did you see that the poster for that new show The Boys with Chase Comfort and his penis is out? Oh? I didn't see that. I gotta see you gotta see

it now and you want to see it? Um Amazon, it's on Amazon, the show and you see his butt two and the thing um So basically like, but I think that when you present penises, that's like, first of all, I'm not like a fan of penises. You're stigmatizing ananomy. No, I'm just saying, like, penis is not my favorite part of the man's body. What do you like? But back, chest, arms, face, face, hey, face hair hair hair hair hair hair. Um, then like penis like way down on the list after like knees

and toes. You know what I like? What do you like? What do you like? I like? Do you like the blight? I like thick? I like, it's for real talking about the length, like length and thickness is okay. So the other day a pizza guy served me and his eyelashes so gorgeous that I fell in love with him, and then he took his break outside the window where I was eating my pizza, and I just stared at his eyelashes some more, and you know, huh, they were just gorgeous.

They were like dough, big brown eyes. And then um, I went on to Amazon and I bought myself some eyelash growth gel. Yes, lash can go a long way, does Mike kevlong lashes? Oh? Yes? And that's beautiful beautiful blue eyes. Yes, blonde lashes. We have the gel you have? This is not this. This just reminded me that I need to put on some of the eye rollers. It's a deep puffer, but I want I need to put it all over because it's cooled right, It's like it's well,

you keep it in the fridge. It is would you like to try? Have you ever have you always been someone that has like because only recently in the last year have I been someone who buys like like face creams and like stuff. Have you always been into that stuff? This is ridiculous because even in high school I would buy like under I creams, and I had learned I would listen like from a distance, like at the clean clinic counter. Yes, to go like this, you know with

your ring fingers. But is that the ring finger, Yes, and both ring fingers. You rock them towards your nose and push up. But you know why, why is that? Because it's it's not putting, it's controlled pressure. It's not like if you're using your mile, your pink. It's too much like you have too much control, muscle control. Why was I worried about skin at sixteen? I mean I think I don't know. I think that's like a thing. Where are you from? What? Kentucky? Okay? So are you

in the sun a lot? Oh? Yeah, so there you go. But you know, you have people in your life being like, yea you certainty wong, you're gonna get all face. Well. I did keep a bottle of bendisol a jelly number four in the tool tractor box, and I would hide it under the tool and then I would put it on, slathered on, and then just go out and plow and turn on the radio. Turn on the radio, just listen to Donna Summer and get the sun and plow. If I'm going to have to do this, I'm going to

do it my way. Yeah. So you were out there plowing? Yeah, I did all that stuff. I plowed, I cut tobacco, bailed. Hey, and I didn't really enjoy any of it. And you know, I was the number one son of my father, so I was I was going to inherit the farm and work the farm. And everybody's like, you're gonna work part Yeah,

that's what we don't work farm anderson happen. Yeah, and I go and when your MoMA goes farms yours and you're gonna pick up a farm and you're gonna rice crops and cows and tobacco, and you're gonna make sure that everyone that's left in the family has tucking curves. Yeah. And then your son your biological soon yeah, and then you're logical when you have him with the non existent

female that you're dating. Yeah, we'll take over that farm. Okay, I need to know more about these these crazy, crazy, fun odd jobs that you had up until you like it started like until you were like doing like comedy writing, like like what like what was like, I don't even know this about you very much and I don't I don't know whatever you want to reveal. Okay. So I went to school to be you know, studied theater with

miss Paula Pellas. That was the connection, and we're best friends So then I moved to New York to be a musical theater performer, and I did some I worked on cruise ships and um did cruise ships, did dinner theater all in New York? All well, no dinner theater. I did a lot away from New Yes, yes, but it was hilarious because I remember dinner theater like I did. I was casting a Vita as of course, like I

got a lot of chorus and dancer, singer dancer. I was a singing dance and um, it was just revealed in the musical that Avita had died. And then the front row I just heard that, like you know, the clicking of forks and stuff, and then someone saying, you know, just passed me down over there they were finishing up and click click click and like after you know, Evita peron de yeah click click click click click, I'm not with my say then yeah yeah, and then requiem Atterrana

don't know whatever the thing is saying. And so I did all that, and then while I was doing that, um, I had to have a little I did like catering, and I did um oh, I did sample sales. I would um yes, I would do these because she miss thing knows her fashion. You've known your fashion? Well, I you know what in the eighties the supermodels drew me on. You know, the Trenity. It was Naomi Lea and um, oh my god, Christie Tarlton at least sorry, I'm sorry, but I used to buy Bizarre magazine for them. So

this is right, This is before miss Cindy. She Cindy was there too, She was she Actually maybe it wasn't Christie Turlington. It was Sindy and Linda. I feel like the trafic that does include Christie Turlington though, right, I want to say it does. Yeah, but they were all this is when this is like the birth of the supermodel, right yes, wow, And so that for you because you because you pepper in those fashion and I did fashion shows, I did back stage work at fashion, loved it. I

was always peeking out to watch the walks. Yeah yeah. You you look at it on television and you think, oh, yeah, they're walking whatever. But that is like there's something powerful. It's crazy specstake yeah yeah, seriously, outfits aren't done. Yeah, and they're being like like safety pinned on yeah yeah. Yeah. See.

This is the thing about James is that you've you've seen the culture from all signs I want to I want to say the theater, the fashion, the film darling, all of that farm and from the farm to the runway. Um so farm too, runway, Oh my godm um. But we got to start this to runway. Honestly, that's for you guys to figure out. I think that big old at that Ivory tower, I think it's got to be a restaurant or it's got to bring something from the farm. And your your servers are marched out and they stomp

the damn yard, clump it. They literally stomp the yard because it's set up like a barn, and so that the servers like stomp the yard and they walk over to you and they never say, oh fucking words. Of course, everything's ordered on an iPad. Yeah, it's ordered on an iPad. And then all the food is served at once. Yeah. They come out on masks. Yeah, and then the food is down. Yeah. I love. Actually the song has no words. It's like jo and they're like exactly, and they come in,

drop it down and then everyone eats. Yes, sort of speaking of because this just reminds me of the Versace sketches. Was that you and Maya coming up with that together. That was Maya, me and Emily and I love that because I mean those I mean that was like near the beginning of my you know, yeah, how did it happen that? Because you weren't you were doing like theater and stuff, and you had already met Paula at school. Now how do you get to snl? Like, how does

that happen? What got you into comedy? I'll tell you if you really want to, I do well. I did a little of this, okay, and I did a little and then I went a job and Lauren was like,

you got it? Um no, I was friends with Paula and Paula I went to the musical route and Paula went to Florida and she got into some uh um was called it an ad lib troop ad libs, but she was she was doing you know, there was some television down there, and she was in a few pilots, and one pilot got into Lauren's hands and he called her up to audition. She auditioned, well, she did an audition. He just said, I want you to be a writer on the show. And she was scared to death and

she took it. And of course she's iconic. She has all those characters under her belt. Um, from you know, cheerleaders, what were they the Spartans Spartans to Debbie Downer and all that. Anyway, so I started hanging out with her and um people met me and uh, Mike Shoemaker asked Paula if I could put a packet together because he was head writer at the time. Yeah. Now, Mike Shoemaker was a producer and I Jessie thought it was cute. He thought it would I think he thought it was funny.

Whether that's you know, yes, well, you know whatever, it's well anyway, so he what did he do? He I put in a packet and in that packet was corn chip nail tips. And that was the first episode it got in. Yeah, and it was with my ratio and um, I can't remember. Yeah, it was it's fashion, it's food, it's corn chip attitude, it's flavor on the run, it's corn chip nail tip fun. You know who I just met with, met and worked with a little bit was

Anna Gustare. I fucking love her. She's amazing. She's also such a good writer. Yeah, singer well iconic, So her and um, Maya had the idea for Gemini's Twin. That was them and that that I worked on that with them, that that was like, that was and still sometimes somebody will post a video of that and I'll be like, these look great. Yeah they're so they still hold up to me like whack whack, ain't nothing but a flat jack. They're like they're on TRL and they're like and someone's like,

what is this song about? Like, it's about it's about what a man does you wrong, and blula bla, and then then Anna goes, it's also about a pancake back fast, so so wait. So the thing with that was they always rotated out the third memory literally did I'm gonna do it? Because basically, like there's a dance move that Lucy lu does that I have done in my show. I literally ripped it from her and shows and here it is, I'm gonna do it. He's taking the headphones off.

So what Matt did reader was wide stands, bend down, asked up, fluttered his fingers spirit fingering my asshole, which literally she did in a sketch. And I literally I remember just like following back over my chair because I couldn't believe how explicit the movement luks and I was like, this is insane that Lucy lu just did it. It's about who Stewart is a I'm a Steward. Oh I push your card and push your card, bump them. I'm yeah and yes we love So it was so funny.

So then you get there and it's really easy right away, it's so easy. It was a breathe and it gets easier as you go. Oh my god, do you still feel twenty years in like you're like, like, it's it's still like a stressful Oh, it's it's you know, it's the most amazing job on earth. You have to preface with that. But then it is also live and it's a weekly you know, adventure, and it is it is like, oh boy, when Friday and Saturday get there and then your thing doesn't work, Like say, it goes to dress

and this is the worst case scenario. It goes to dress and it's dead and you're like, well, that thing is going to get cut. It was a piece of crap and it gets on and then between dress and air you're supposed to make it better as what's his name? Nix it and uh, it's the nerves kick in and you're like, wow, this is really and I've never had this, but Paula did rewrite something and was putting it on cards and they were holding up the cards as she was making me. Yeah, I remember that. That's got to

be insane. Yeah, I mean I had, I had. I've talked about this. I think I had. I had a moment like that. For the Christmas episode with Will. He and I wrote that Theresa May sketch, and Lauren like kept it in the show even though it was it was fine addressed, but he kept it in the show and he cut other sketches in favor of our sketch because he was like, they're going to show the some BBSO tomorrow, so we better, we better make this work.

And I was like okay. So then Will and I are in the control room, Lauren's right there and basically like and then were you cutting it and cutting cutting it as the sketch was bought, and then they had

to dump. They were counting dumping into it, dumping away from it, dumping away from it as we're making the attitude like we're dumping in and five four, and then they just jump out in the middle of Kate's line and then the audience, the plots, and it was truly like and then Will and I just look at each other and laugh, and Lauren's right there. And then later on that night, I'm out after party and then comes over.

She's like, I just talked to Lauren and he said it was really entertaining to watch you and well and they control and in a way that she was. She was like, you know, he was like impressed but also entertained it how like maddening it was, and it was and like now I I've laughed at it since it happened. I'm like, what a crazy thing. Well, that's like if you're in that last spot, yeah, and you don't get cut, but then you have you have to cut two pages. You have a three minute sketch and you got to

cut a minute out of it. It's like, huh, okay, well this is not going to make any sense, and I wish you would have just cut it. Yeah anyway, just you know, I could just walk out there and go it didn't work. I'm sorry, I'm in the contro I can figure out. So I'm nervously out here to life telling you nervously out of your life telling you that my sketch, I don't want to I don't want to show it. I don't because I don't want to read all your reviews tomorrow, every person on earth who

will review it tomorrow. Culture, you'll tweet about artist. The age of Twitter. It has to be so hard. Oh it's you know what it is different? You know how freaking old I am. And by the way I would look at men over forty I said that earlier, and I'm like, what's wrong with me? Just people over forty

Radley appear Georgia Clooney, Georgia, Georgia. Yes, Um, And so what you're saying Twitter Now, when we first started, um, you would get eight track tapes of your scene and they would stack them up on the table and then you would go take this clunky thing and put it in and watch your scene to figure out what needed to be cut. Now it's all like on a server and right right. And then back then, you know, it was like you felt like it was the forties, the

review came out, here's the paper. You know, they lovedays and right right, you know. But now it's like, you know, everybody and their mother will have an opinion about and that's why as soon as your sketches done, you do Twitter search and you see what people are saying. No, I don't do that. I actually I fear if I was there, if I would do that, you probably I've

done it. I've done it where once it goes up to YouTube at like three in the morning, like I'm an after party and right on my way home from after I pull it up on YouTube and I read the comments, and I'm just like, why did I do that? Why did I do? Yeah? I mean sometimes it's great, especially if you have something that you're like, I'm not so sure that it played like I wanted or whatever, and and then you're like, I'm just going to peak and then people are like nice, They're like this is weird,

which then you're like, oh, good, weird is great. Yeah yeah, yeah, good, good, good. Well we love weird. We love weird. And now we ask the question. Okay, so this is the question that we ask every single guest that comes on this podcast. Recess is what it's called UM, and the question is what is the culture that made you say culture is for me? This is the piece of pop culture UM that you felt like, if you look back on your life, like, is still that thing that you think may have defined

you and sent you in a cultural direction? Well, this is there's two things I think um dance and music both played a big part. Because the first introduction to it was I went to my parents took me to Opera Land, which no longer exists, and it was a theme park that had a lot of shows with theme park entertainers, and I was so in love with the show called I Hear America Singing and I eventually auditioned for it. I snuck away, snuck. Can you snuck? Snucked?

I snucked? I snucked away, snucked. Towards the audition, I walked in the door, snucking in all the way when when I had snuffed as much as I could snucked, you know, it's still there my way all the way up to the casting director her face and they still don't know him. There everything everything to do with school up when everyone's smoking door in the broad away intermission and snuck in anyway, So that was and I love that.

And then I remember Gypsy, the movie with um with a how the movie was with Roslin Russell and oh god, what is her name? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, come on Oh god she died, would god she's dead. It's a culture number forty one. Natalie Wood is dead, thrown off a boat. It was we all know what, Christopher walk In Wagner. We're all right off that somebody, somebody snucker. This woman was snucked. All right, we've got all right, thank you all for this is obviously a snuck. I

just I would like someone to snuck me. Oh you don't get snucked. Oh well, miss Johnson's the other one, honey, yeah, okay, so listen and Margaret and Margaret bye bye. She's actually a sligh in those okay, so you know how in by By Bredie the film, Yeah, there's the first thing

where she's like, oh, being one of the girls. She's like she's like giving you like ainu like hopeful, and then at the end she kind of becomes like a bit of a strumpet, and it's like and then she's, okay, she's kind of like being more like I've grown during

this film, right, I love that. And they even changed her makeup a little where she has a little bit more of like an eyebrow raise and she's like she's and Margaret was in some other like movie musical where she played at full full ho and it was beautiful. I don't know that like um and Margaret Well. I love her number in Viva Las Vegas. Okay, it was

to show me his appreciation. The thing is, she starts in Hell in dance shoots like the PC and she has a little rap and you know, if a woman is going to sing a song, come down the staircase and toss the rap. So she did that, so I'm in and then suddenly it becomes very bossa nova the Okay, she's in flats like at some point she went she went, no, no, no, no no. We are taking these capezios off and I'm putting on my ballet slippers because we're doing something, and

it just cuts to the flats. Yeah, but does she dance on the tables and ship and in this too, I know she's just doing I think she's just she's just doing boys. The boys are behind her and she's just in front, like and suddenly she's just in a leotard right the transition, the transition. I love boys in the back. Yeah, I'm just doing like like um Um like in Roxy even as Yeah, yeah, I love I love chorus boys. I guess and that was that was me.

I wanted that, That's what I wanted. I mean, chorus boys met a coorse boy means like you are like a lot of snug and you're hot and snuck in. Yeah, and you had to stretch. You had to have stretched. You had to make sure those hammys were long and lean and could conk. You know, you had to crack punk at the audition or you were not getting it. Now. I at the point, at that point, I haven't sung in forever, but I had a good voice, so I would always be like, Okay, I'll get a call back

for the singing for yes, the singer. I mean, I've got a call back for the dancing. And then I thought, if I can just make it through that. And I was pretty good dancer, you know, but I was gonna say, like like you you are like you were probably like perfect, you are a perfect course boy, were tall, lean, and and then you could just move those limbs around grace. There were so many of them. Yeah, the chorus boys, you going. I had dreams of it. Oh, you had dreams.

How did you meet Mike? Oh at a bath house? Yes? Is it true? Oh? My god, is this true? She put her head on the table. Is this true? I love that it actually is true. Yeah, and I've had I've had some fun meet ups at bath houses and it happened and we grew too, we kept started dating and then I love I love this. Oh my god, girl, if you want to do what, I been to a bath house, because I always I always get I don't, I don't guess, I care. No, No, it doesn't matter.

I mean I've never I've never been to a bath house, really saying I can find my husband there. People now do um the apps more? Well, yeah, bath houses might be having a combat because I've been to two in the last year. I went to one in Vancouver. When we were there, you were I think it was it was like you were like asleep. No see, but this is the thing you often do weird ship without me without telling me. Because I'm not gonna be like, do

you want to come to the bath house? Not because it would both be us, like we can split up. I'm gonna embarrass you. Okay, So you so this I can't believe. While we were in Vancouver, you up and went to a bath house and didn't tell me, Like, Okay, here's the thing. You and I can't share a hook up, but for some reason we can go to a bath. How you Yeah, I don't want to hook up with the same person as you wanted to go to a bath. You can go over there and I'll go over here.

I'm just saying it's weird that you didn't say you were going. What is sharing a hook up? Like the same estim the same at different times? Yes, yeah, like like okay, I'm I'm you have done this person, and then a few months later like oh no, no, no no. So that wasn't the situation. The situation was Bowen and I were hooking up with someone and I was hooking up with him first, and then it became apparent to me that they were flirting, and I said, okay, well

you can hook up with him. I'm just not going to anymore. And I told the kid that I felt this way and he said, I understand, I won't do it, and then they did it anyway, So what Yes, that is to go on a day and it's like fine in you said fine, you did it, and then the day after I was so racked with guilt that I told you was like, hey, your progative thing you should have stayed away. Okay, James, James is the arbiter in this and anything I know. I think I agree you do.

I did. I did, I did. I did a bet thing. I did not do it. But I will not apologize for going to the bath house without you because I would have felt uncomfortable. It's not that I wanted to go with you. It's that it's weird that you went without telling me you were going. It's not and we were there together. I probably was like, where's Bowen? You were literally asleep? No, I wasn't literally Yes. Did they have entertainment? They did not have entertainment like music videos? Wait,

what are you talking about? Ages ago? You know, armed at whatever? The Continental baths? What is that like? Because you know, I don't know. It seems like you're you have a focus when you go there, and you're not like, yeah, I'm going to sit here in my towel and listen to Buck Yeah, or a yodeler or a yo yodeler. That would be bad. Yettle, Oh, the first time you've ever ever tried. I think he's got it. It's rock. You forget the farm sent a classical channel. We've got

to market you as a gay yodeler. We got to put this to a beat. Oh my god. Imagine also like you can wear like gorgeous like later hosing, but like some sort of like fashion. Take on it. Come on a symmetrical like yeah, dig ours deconstructed. Can you yodel and say yeah queen on a screen? No screen, screen, you get it? Come on that range. I'm a tenor, I'm a solid tendor. I don't think you know it's not I don't know my range, I don't know my notes.

I never I like you, uh, probably not even as seriously as as but I dip my toe into trying to do musical theater a little bit. I ended up realizing that nothing made me more nervous than those because I feel like there's not a lot of like a room for and this is probably not true. It's just not a skill I naturally possessed. When you're auditioning for musical theater, there's not a lot of like um availability

to be spontaneous in the audition. You kind of have to, like, I just felt I'm also like I can sing, but I'm not like a trained class singer, like whereas some of those musical theater guys, like you hear them warming up and you're like, there's also like eight bars like bars, and you gotta hit them. And then there's a table they're just sitting there looking at your resume. It's really

like demoralizing. Yeah, it's like that stereotype of show biz like yeah, and you're like, no one's looking at me. I'm up here doing eight bars like you know, I'm watching six Yeah, wanting to kill yourself? Yeah, going, why did I choose this dumb song? It's not a dumb songs And every song I ever tells productions, I was like, why did I do that? Like one time for an audition,

I sang Sunday Morning, the stupidest I've ever done. Like, I don't know, I just felt like I'm so in control of like myself when I do like comedy stuff for acting stuff, and then when it's like musical theater or something, all all my like like ability, and though I could see you, like especially one of these new musicals are so like the and they don't have that Broadway The Broadway voice has changed. No, it's totally different, Like I, um, you know, like I really wanted to

audition for a Book of Mormon. But then in order to be in the chorus for that, you have tap and I can't. Damn, I'm on the mover. I'm not like it's a dance studio just down that, so I shouldn't rull in class, tap tap clap um. But like that Andrew Reynolds part, I feel like would be really um. But yeah, no, I mean it's just I find them so nerve racking. Those auditions like scary, like nothing else I've ever experienced. This is when I thought, oh, it's

happening for me. I did it off Off Noise, off off Broadway and it was called box Office of the Damned, and Christian Channawith wasn't it. It was her first gig. What really, box Office of the Damned together? This is huge. Yeah, and you know she when you heard her in that, you were like, oh this girl, this girl is going from the University of Oklahoma. Yeah. And you know, they kept saying we're going to move it to off Broadway, and I kept I had my fingers crossed. I'm like,

it's happening. I thought maybe because she was there, they would that it would ride well. I thought everybody in the cast was so brilliant. There were some old school Broadway people in it, and there was another girl in there that had the craziest belt. I cannot think of her name, but just an amazing voice on a gost ire young who went by you know, Kristen Stone. I'm Kristen Stone. But you know, that was something that I

was always like, Oh do you do you miss? Did you miss like the theater like company like feel of it? Like I do I miss? Like there is sort of a family feeling, but there's also and when you are rehearsing something and you're like, I'm the wheek like in that. I really did feel like I am the weak link in this thing and you're I also was playing a character that I was like, I don't really relate to who I'm playing, and uh and so I I always

felt like I was trying harder than everyone else. They all just kind of were floating around and doing a great job, and I was out there really are working it down, chewing it up, trying to make it work. You're probably fabulous. It's just that I got great reviews. You got good reviews. I don't know. Somebody liked it. I don't remember his name. I think he's dead now, damn another death Natalie would and that Natalie she reviewed it snucked good. Yeah, they snug that review out before

I could make any changes to it. Oh, I do want to say, I'm sorry, I'm still talking about the bath houses. But oh, let's go back. I love it. They're gonna have I think, I really because you know what, and this is the thing. This is like the this is the modern day thing of Bette Midler performing at the Condonal Baths. Um Nympho Wars just did a live podcast recording at a sex Are you serious? And it's called the Fisting Special Casting Special. It's another podcast, fabulous podcast, wonderful,

artful podcast. They had a Hammel and Macy Rodman but they um did this whole show at at a sex party and like no one was paying attention. How do you not say attention to podcast recording? Will explain the bath house? Like, I actually don't know what the layout. I guess they're all different, but like what happens then general layout? You walk in, you show your I d's, it's you get a stamp at a tank top. No literally, they give you a key like a little phone cord

like a coiled little thing. That's your locker. And then you know, you take your stuff in. You either you either pay for a locker or you pay for a private room where there's a little cubby there. You change out into whatever you want to wear. If it's nothing great, if it's a jocks. Do they give you a contraceptive, you can buy them. Okay, they give you a towel. They give you a towel, and that sometimes can be a contraceptive. What I do is the towel towels. Well,

the towels are always see through. They're not plush. They've been washed over and over bleached into transparency and losing hose. And then you can walk around, check out the trade, the trade. There's a hot tub, there's a pool, people talking or is it mostly silence? Silence? But others sometimes people are talking about you know, where are you from? How are you? And then and then with me, it's normally the people you don't want to talk to you. It's always the people you don't want to talk to

that are like the most inquisitive. Yes, And then there's rooms that play. Is it a large space depends on the depends on what's the popular one in New York that I'm going to go to. I don't know the Turkish ones, but those are those are like general public, but then like Thursdays or Sundays or like the men only. Yeah, but it's never been. I've never been. I don't think anything. Sometimes some some cruising stuff happened the Turkish bath Turkish

baths in the East Village. But now, like I feel like, I mean, before the Equinox show went down, like the modern like modern gay sort of cruising scene is just in the steam room. Yeah, and sex happens there, and sex happens there with steam, with steam? Are you got all your pores open? Sound like a true baby? No? No, no, I just feel like I would pass out. Yeah, I'm hot, and then I'm getting all flustered and the next thing you know, I'm lying on the damn ground to damn ground.

I'm laying on the damn ground, lying on the damp ground, and someone's gonna have to call what on Someone's gonna have to call nine one one stat honey because I got snucked on the ground. Or three one one who is this bitch? Or four one one Get a damn clue? I feel like it'sbestos that's what I'm calling three one one I'm calling I'm calling a building violation. Damn damn, I really do think I'm I'm just gonna come out and say I'm a big bath house boy. I don't

go to them that often. Bath house boy Denver swim club in Denver's fabulous, because like I'll go home to Denver and like sometimes I'll like chat up guys and I'll be like, I can't, you can't come over. I don't want to go over to your stupid apartment the damn house. Well that is the good thing about it is you can, you know, try the trade out. You try the trade out, and then you then you get to know their personality. There you go and then you're like, okay,

well that worked out. Okay, so now tell me a story. Are you hot? Can we talk? How are you as a storyteller? Exactly? Then that I'm going to sit here and now I need to be entertained. Kill me, spin me a damn tail after you're done with Matte fable me. Friend of mine went to Berlin and said that was insanity, like, well, some sort of I guess it was a bath house but he had all different kinds of rooms, like it seems very German to me that you would categorize your

rooms like this room. This room is just anal oh yeah, okay, okay. And he walked through because he was looking for his boyfriend. He and his boyfriend went together and he got splashed with lube, no extra loop. He gets splashed with extra lube. But how did he know that? It wasn't well, it could have been anything, could have been anything. It could have been anything, but it went and like, oh god, now now let me ask you this. Come on, I hope Michelle Obama is not listening. I don't think she is.

I think she listens to other podcasts like Two Dope Queens. I think she listens to Guys We Fucked. I think she listens to you talking about I'm talking about the lube that when somebody pulled out it flicked. O. Lord, that's gotta be some real water based stuff. And now you're asking, like what kind of lube that might be? If it? If it, I'm interested because if it's silicone based, I don't think it's gonna splush. So it's either a water based or it's I don't even you know, there's

probably you know, it's modern times. I think if it was calm, he would have known bo it's stuck. But know I had that well what was it called it cold? Yeah, but it doesn't remain cold because it's been in the warmest place on Earth depends on the kind of lube. The warmest place. That's what they call my asshole Disney World's the happiest place on the warmest place on earth is my asshole, asshole, my yes, my yesh. Maybe do that in yodle my asshole, my assholes on it. Um.

I think it's a water based lube. Basically talk about lube a lot. Yeah, we talked about the thing is I don't know. I actually don't jack off with lube. And then I heard someone someone said to me, that's crazy, and I was like, what, No, it's just it's extra business. I would also think it's a waste of the loop exactly. But somebody literally to me like they never jack off. Act like you're you're doing like you're going to do something bad to your member. Yeah, I mean it's like

check your skin because mine's just fine. When I'm a tug and check your skin. Lout is expensive. Hello, I use Kram de mare, I onate with petruscan baluga two hundred bucks, a little bottle of Lamire to jack off with its seven I'm the share of jacking off. I only use lamare bitch, fucking share bitch? Oh did you Share show? Yeah? I was supposed to see it, but then that was the night at the blackout he was supposed to bowen. Yank's father is a huge Share fan.

You know. Oh he's not a fan of homosexual really. Yeah, how that is? That is a very large dichotomy that That's what I'm saying. It's not so funny and iranic. I don't have it in me to tell him that like shares a gay icon. But he just likes her music and out of context, has no idea what Share means culturally. But it's like, I love her music. He loves Believe, he loves that whole album. He likes auto tune, he loves auto tune, he loves give Me Right remember

that song? Does he like a lot of Share songs? No? I mean we just we just had that album, like my mom bought at a yard sale in Canada, in Montreal, and we just like played it. I remember like, like Princess died just oh god the year. Let me set the scene. Princess Die is dead, Natalie. She died when I was at a club. Princess Diana couldn't happen. It happened when I was at some brand new club and uh,

you know, one of these gay clubs. And then it just you know, there was there wasn't social media, so I just went through just everybody whispering, and finally you just saw a lot of guys trying to dance through tears. Oh, such an icon. I think, I don't. I think we

don't realize. We don't realize that that like, well she was like speaking out about AIDS or yeah, and really and when that happened, you were just like, oh, and then I you know, I didn't know I felt one way or another about her, but when it happened, I didn't realize how much she actually meant because she was, Yeah, this is speaking out about the AIDS from like like

a former member from like royalty. Huge deal. And then like and then yeah, you don't realize how much she what she stood for in this community that she wasn't necessarily a part of, but she advocated for anyone to do that. She just stood up and did it, you know for sure, and then for us, For me, it was just like this beautiful woman. Honestly, I did kind of dialogue onto yeah, right right. I think I understood that she was important to people in England, but I don't.

I didn't know but to the gays like she like could you imagine? I mean, But also it's just weird to think about these people as like, you know, this is different in random But I was recently like I like felt in like a Wikipedia wormhole and I stumbled

upon Brittany Murphy's Wikipedia Brittany Murphy passed away. That's like it's so crazy under such bizarre circumstances and like so young, like ever, well, that that's the thing is that I was actually looking up what it was and she died of pneumonia and the toxicology report said that it was mostly natural causes. But also, and I think this is

a little bit throw people off multiple drug intoxication. But then as you read more, people would write that off as being like, oh, well, she was a drug addict, and there were rumors of that because she had lost a lot of weight um as she got a little

bit older. But then her husband died of the same thing, and um, then there was rumors about black mold being in their house, and I think that and and then apparently there there has been um reports that confirmed that there were some type of mold in their house and that the multiple drug intoxication was not because she was abusing drugs, but because she was taking a lot of

stuff to try to get better. So I think that that might have been what happened was her and her husband were very sick because something was sucked up in their home. And um, that's what throws people off as like, oh they were they must have been on drugs, and the celebrities, etcetera. But I think that they were very sick and it was a lot over the counter stuff that she that was in her system. And then there

was weird rumors. Her father, who was a strange for her mother, made these strange allegations that like her mother had poisoned them and like really weird stuff, which I think spun it all offensive directions, But I don't think anyone's ever really come forward and said this is what happened. But reading it, my gauge is that something was going on in their house where they both had the same ailments like that had to be atmosphere. I'm no fucking doctor,

I'm only a snook. But you know, well, at least she didn't get thrown off a boat, yeah, I mean, or worse, Yeah, or worse, you know, sucked up in a tornado like build, like a like food. Remember the scene in the beginning of Twister, Yeah, where the gut with Dad gets sucked up on the twister. What a horrific death. Horrific to go there. You hate to see it. There were there are fates worse than death. What the funk happened to Natalie would We'll never know? That had

to be. I just want to believe she got tipsy and fell off, But I don't know. I mean sometimes that that happens on boats have all the time. But then for them to I don't know, it sounds weird fishy to me. Christopher Walking has a blood on his hands. And with that thought, it's time it's time to move on to I don't think so honey. So here's the deal. I Don't Think so Honey is our segment that we do on every episode of this podcast. We just called Lost Culture rests um. It is a one minute rant

on pop culture. We take something in pop culture, or culture at large, or life in general that we are not necessarily liking too much, and we take one minute to dress that thing down with the words I don't think so, honey. Um, I have something. Okay, I have something. It's a little specific, he said, here we go. It just came to I don't think Sonny's time starts now. I don't think so, honey. That goddamn Hollywood Walk of Fame. Don't make me look down while I'm walking. I want

to see where I'm going. Now I look down and see, you know, Tommy Chong's name on a tile. Okay, honey, Hollywood Walk of Fame. You're on the worst street in all of the world too. Why do I why? Why is it gonna be a fucking vape store everywhere I go nowadays? This is trash, terrible. I want to be able to go to the damn on you without seeing the name of our president, Donald J. Trump. Boo for shame, shame. Where's the committee the community board to destroy that one? Hud?

And you know what Hollywood Walk of Fame. I used to want to I used to I had a little gay boy dream of having my name on you. I don't want to be on you at all. It would be the biggest shame of my life if, if, if you decided to put me on you Darling okay, officially on record does not want Hollywood welcome, which actually is fine because you know those things are paid for. Ye, you're like agents by them, right. I mean? Also that is there's no good spots left. Yeah. Oh god, that starts,

you know, hanging them from wires. Yes. I would love a little mobile movement. Yeah, come on, give me a Hollywood move Put me on a drone, around me around. Yeah. Yeah, my little plaque on a drone. Fly it sideways so that you know people see it, bramp Yeah, flying around. I love that. I'm ready to go, Ready to go. This is Matt Rodgers. Don't think so many as time starts now. I don't think so, honey. But death penalty, yeah, we shouldn't have it. It shouldn't be up to us.

I don't think so, honey, because guess what it's costing us taxpayer dollars to say, let's put someone in the damn chair and hit the button. Bitch. I don't think so honey, because guess what, we're using good rope to hang these people. We can be using this rope for boxing rings. Get these men in jail, put them in there, put them rehabitlets it in the goddamn ring, goddamn ring. I don't think so, honey, that penalty. I am a liberal goddess. I think that we should absolutely not be

killing men. And I have heard eye nine eye that's the way they say no in Australia. Guess what I don't think, so, honey, the death penalty. Guess what if you killed someone you rotten, don't think about it for the rest of your goddamn a life. I don't want to see the light, girl, I don't want to see the light. Continue you to say in your eyes, you know what you did? You think I what you did for? I don't think yes, Come on, wow, the energy. I

loved the energy. Political fish, don't you think? And now, actually I just got a text that lawmakers in Tennessee have changed their have reversed their position on what the abolished. Oh my god, they're not gonna do it anymore. Look, no, that home when we stopped him, always stopped him. And we can't do. I took my daughter down there to the courthouse and I had her do it cheer and it was about abolishing the death penalty, and she went, D E A T H, let's abolish it. But she

didn't say, let's abolish it. And then they decided with the abolished death. Yeah, you're saying shit. I know she said abolish it, but her out at that point they said, just get rid of her. Well, we're not going to do it. Yeah, we don't want to hear her do it anymore. And her life. So I lost her her life to spare all the others. They were like, we're going to take your life, honey, but unfortunately took her life. But she's she's a messiah. I feel really good about

my aunt. I feel really good. I think she's so proud. I feel great about yours. It's gonna make me feel awful about just now. You know that's my at least savorite energy. Come on, James, James Anderson, my least favorite energy energy. Oh god, James, I think I think you might have something. I'm going to try something. I'm realizing that one minute is a long time. That's longer than you think. But it's just long enough to get all

your thoughts. I'm thinking that content wise, I don't know what's going to happen, so maybe I should do it as Marilyn Monroe. So I love that, so that there's something and you know, I don't have a great Marilyn Monroe, but it will make me feel like that. Honestly, Marilyn Monroe had barely had a good Marilyn Honey there. She was normal Jean in her real life and people don't know it's actually real culture number four, she was normal Gene in life. Marilyn Monroe was a character. Yes, that

was an affect. Actually she wrote poetry, did it was good poetry as Norma Jeane, as Norma Jeane. But I think it's under Marylyn Monroe. But I think it's from her heart. You know, it's from her heart. Actually love Marilyn Monroe. Have you ever seen the movie In My Week with Maryland? Michelle will isn't it? And she says, she says to Eddie Redmaid, shall I be her? And she says Maryland? And then she goes out in front

of the press and she is Maryland. Amazing to great actress that Michelle Williams actually nuwelve, great actress, Michelle Get ready for this, Get ready for this. We've got a new Maryland iconic performance from James Anderson is. I don't think so many time starts now, I didn't think so, Henny. You may think it's cute to put something on the back of your toilet taint to decorate it, but I don't think so. The only thing that belongs there fresh

flowers or maybe perhaps a crystal. Don't put some sort of what not scenario like straw or anything purus like you know, straw, jaws or yarn. Don't do that, because when a lady sits to pippy, she has to think what is going on behind me? What is all this jump behind me? And then when a man stands to peek,

he could splatter on it, and that's no good. What I don't think about is that, so, Honey, really put any sort of collection or doll or anything that can gather dust and back your gelatic that was fully embodied. Oh good, it was Marylyn. Marilyn was here, Oh my god. And honestly, I don't believe she would raise her voice more than that. I don't think so. No, she was no, Oh my god, oh my God, that got me through it better than you know. I think that you made

the right decision. I also think I can understand from her point of view why she wouldn't like it too. I can't say why. Well. I went to a coffee shop the other day and they had artificial flowers toilet the toilet and it was covered in dust, thick layers of dust. And I'm like m And you know what it makes you think? If if these are dusty, right, anyone, anyone worth their salt who works there comes in and

sees the flowers or dusty and cleans it. So that makes me think, how many times do they clean this breathroad? So can't you just shake it off? Yeah? Right, pull those dusty flowers out? Dusty flowers. That's my name, that's my drag name. I'm so happy we found dusty flowers. I have diffused on my toilet. Is that okay? I think anything like that is good. I think a good book, not the Bible, well maybe the Bible. No, No, I think a nice Bible. Did you wipe your ass? No?

Maybe not No, No book? Diffuse's okay, Candles okay, it's a cent. Yeah. I think anything that makes you feel like, Oh, I'm in a clean spa. There you nothing that's like, you know, the like I don't know a nativity or like or like a bunch of barbies, like having a conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just have an entertainment weekly from No not, I have a national inquirer from that, says Jennifer Addison ate her toe and that's what's on my toilet? Did Jennifer

Addison eat her toes? Is this a real I wish it was? Did Brad Pitt is gay? Did Brad Pitt is? Brad Pitt is gay? George Cody Monster Drama? George Cody? Yetty up in here? Yet? Up in here? Mark Helgenburger is a cake? You guys? This is live, right, this is live. This is live. This is beaming out two millions. We're gonna take some We're gonna take some calls now, okay, first call, Hello, Hi, how are you? I have a question? Go ahead and ask where here was James Anderson, Bowen

Yang and Matt Rogers. I have a question for Bowen and Matt. Sure what you're signs? We're both water signs. Can you guess? Are you an astrology person? Yes? I am okay, thank god, okay, so okay, water. We're both water into an after I don't think something. I love that. It's sosive. That makes you're both Aquarius, you're both Pisces. I'm Pisces and you what's the less scorpio Scorpio? Mr

Miss Julio Torres is an aquarius. You know who's a Scorpio and who's the queen Scorpio is Miss Sudie Green Scorpions. RuPaul herself is a Scorpio. I am Pisces, Pisces rising cancer Moon. I'm water water water water. I started crying. And it's kind of a homebody too, aren't you does At times I'm a little bit of home body when I when I'm I'm an extrovert and when I'm out, I'm like out. But when I'm home, it's like it has to be you, like it to be your next Yeah, yeah,

what about you, miss thing? I am a liberal? Oh that tracks That means that you are measuring the scales. It's stable and like measured and like just just I don't know, is that is that fair? Yeah? And like really good about listening to others and like weighing it out for them, But I really wishy washy when it comes to our thing. You know, it's hard for me to figure anything out. What's your partner sign? He's cancer cancer, that's nice. Yeah, cancers are cancers are loving? Yeah, so

you data water sign? Date married too? Yeah, married too. You know you're rising in your moon? My rising is Sagittarius. I'm not sure what my moon is. Great Sagittarius. If you're right, If you're rising Sagittarius, that's downward projecting out. Yeah, co star. I mean it's also not great because they I guess they steal a lot from other astroll which

one this app called Costar. But but our friend Joel was telling me that it's like we've we talked about this on the pod where it's like they're like the fun Jerry of astrology where they just take other people's work and they just like, what about that app it's called um oh shoot, somebody was talking, oh god, it was What does it do it? It gives you your day by day but um, all it does is take your your information like the time you were born, month, whatever.

But what who was it? There was no god? Who was in magic? Mike? What's the guy Tatum was talking about it. I can't think of the name of it. It might be Costar. My horoscope today says, no need to be so polite. Oh, I haven't been ployed at all. Mindset, mindset, and so I opened my eyes today. I was like, it's it's done. I mindset, take yourself to a movie today. I was like, absolutely not. Tell nothing's out. Tell them hustlers doesn't come out yet. What did your say? Mine

says snuck. It says don't snuck away from a situation, and it could mean so many things. A good snuck ing. Maybe that's a good title of app A good snucking Come on, we have that down hot producer Megan Megan than do you go? You go by Megan, not Megan Megan so commonly Megan's can go buy Meg Megan Meggie peg pag. Do you have a a nickname? Do you

have a nickname? Megan? Your whole life? Okay? So what do you think it was about the energy that you brought into this space that they started calling you Meg? How would you do differently? Don't have that's not unheard to do anything differently? My horrorscope said, don't need to be so polite for you. When have you done? Have you done that? Yet? None of us are going to buy our horse. This is a serious question. Now, Like when you're editing this, can you, um make my laugh

sexy and deep? Um, there's sometimes I cackle. Can we do that? I cackle? Have let's just laugh one time? Yes? Okay, so take that and just make that sexy now. Um. I love James Anderson's law. This was Um. I have to say, what a joyous time to have you here. Thanks for having me. I was a little nervous, but I don't know. I'm very I you know, I it's the whole theater thing, you know, I for some reason

chose that path when I left my house. But it's like standing up in front of people and performing is the most nerve wracking thing on the like when like okay, so we're not actually too but it's just like in the moment when you're about when you're when you're on your way to do it. Oh, you know what the thing is because we do this so much like this is literally like the hundred episode of this podcast or whatever.

This is my first podcast ever ever, literally so embarrassed for every other podcast have they asked, um No, I'm sure that's fun. That's stupid crazy. I'm dragging all of them now publicly. I think so embarrassed to be in this podcast community. I think any opportunity to sit down and listen to James Anderson talk, I I think it's just I think it's just like what a what an embarrassment of riches for your mind? Well, I'll be for

endom embarrassment and at an embarrassment, it's just humiliating and humiliating. No, you're the would be very real and say that you actually, we're very important and our continue to be very important to um me like, and I'm sure bowen when we were younger watching watching US and Now, because it gave us a time when we were to laugh at ship like, especially with something as mainstream as S and Now like, it was nice to be able to like join them

with everybody and have that one and it feel real, you know what I mean? You know it was coming from Yeah, yeah, and that's good. I mean when I was younger, I always was looking for that, like, what where is the gay voice in this? I I actually found a bookstore that was selling a romance novel and it was by Gordon Merrick when I was in high school. I don't even know it was Gordon Merrick. And it was in the religious section because the title of the

book was The Lord Won't Mind. And I was so excited that it was in that section, so I thought, I felt like I could buy it, you know, and I, you know, I bought it, and I took it home. I read through you know, you know, went through it though really fast, and then I took it to the trash and I burned it. I burned the thing down because I didn't want my parents to find anything. Yeah, I mean, it's just during that time, it's so good to have just like a little respite, if you will,

and like definitely like that through God. If you ever can think about that and your stressful moments at work and you tube bitch. Well, I know there's some little

fag out there watching checks. Well, I just want to say really quickly because that story is, first of all, I meanwow, and second of all is reminding me that the first gay book I ever touched, like it was it was at they had it at the Smokey Hill Public Library, and it was this trashy, trashy book about this guy who falls in love with a gay club owner and they whatever. But I I just throw it into my mom's pile that day and I'm like, I want to check out this book. It's about um, you know,

two guys who are friends. And she's like okay, and then she brings it over. I cannot be. I'm usually stating right next to her when we check out, and I just I did not have anything to beat to stand next to her while she exchanged and passed this book over to to librarian who was scanning these books.

What you okay? Great? So it was just this clear moment of shame when I was four shelves away, peeking past, like peeking over the shelf, watching this go down, because I was so afraid that this was like going to blow up in my face. But then the librarian sees the book and like glances over at my mom, gives her a weird look, and then like searches around, scans

around the room, and locks eyes with me. And in that moment, I was like, fuck she was She knew she knew that it was because because we we we went to this library all the time, and she knew to look for me, and she like found me and she was like, oh m hmmm, and it was this like deep deep, deep, deep deep moment of shame, and like it was like and I basically like went home and read through the book, sped through the book in like two days. And then yeah, I mean burn because

I couldn't but I would. I would have. You just didn't know how to make fire. I just didn't know how to make fire. And then that librarian is the only person I think should get the death mental for the trauma, for the trauma it anyway anyway, but it's like it's like, I mean, you know, you grew up in like when you grow up and you like truly like cannot bring yourself to like openly like the things that you want to like terrible, terrible. You need these

moments and anyway, James, who make you happy? But James, James would give us these moments that like we could openly love because it was being seen and embraced by everyone else. And that's what that that's what's important. That's like the case for mainstreaming something. I know people are like, but it's it's the case for and James is I mean just what I what I meant to say earlier was the opportunity to sit down with James and just hear him talk about anything as I think, like very

very very special and I love it. Every time you walk into my damn office, I'm like, what have I done to deserve James? Anyway? This one, this one, this one. We love you, unlucky readers, lucky readers, very lucky at home. Thank you so much for every episode with a song. We had every episode with a song. Here we go, wonderful shim life, life, Take me forward because I'll never

change oh my cover. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Ballum, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.