“Doyenne” (w/ Ira Madison III)

Here's what you do. You got hate as soon as you sit down, do you might have? You put my headphones in? And they have no choice, say, And I'm sure the listeners would think I would be the one who's like much like more direct, and I would think that they think you're the nicer one out of the two of us. But apparently that's not true. Um a rule of culture number fifty as nice as Matt. Okay, Um,

well we'll we'll contest that, okay. So we have an amazing guest with us today, amazing, truly, truly a taste maker, truly an arbiter of the culture. I mean dilatant. So we are not the Doyens, shall I don't know one of the words means but I'm happy to pretend. Sure. Okay. So he is a writer critic at The Daily Based. You've seen his work on MTV News BuzzFeed. It's also the host of the Amazing podcast on Crooked Media. Keep

it um. He's an icon. Here we have Ira Madison the Third Yes, hill h Hello, you know I love the word doyan doyane. Yeah, okay, great, what is it? What is it? It's like the highest act they do. Yes, okay, yes, yes, okay, sure, but like just in terms of skill, there's no like as Australian theater. Because she bought her husband a company. Unbelievable. Do we see oceans eate? I did? Okay, and believe that she was the Doane of the group. Who was

she was the fashion Diana of the group. Yes, the suits, the track jacket, yeah, it was all the boots on bang Yeah, the lesbian cut. She was giving me lesbian energy. I thought she and Sandra were former lovers. That could have been a good platform. There weren't any plot points in the movie, actually, very very few. My favorite part was Rihanna's sister. Yeah, she's she turned it. She was great, and you believed that they were siblings. And that is

a testament to Rihanna. Brianna is a natural actress. We want to see more Rihanna performances. I want to know can she do more than smoke a blunt on screen? I mean, and have we seen Battleship? She apparently punches punches the buttons. Did you see Bates Motowel? Okay? Wait, apparently really was good in Bates Motel? Yeah, what did she do? I didn't? She plays um the Yeah? Cool? She does not die. There's a twist. She realizes this Norman Bates as creepy as fuck. Yeah so, and she

literally says something like funk this. There's always but this is what we like about Rihanna as she she brings to the role, each role some layer of herself, some some some dosage of her. She's an Addison esque actress. Oh she's not a Blanchet, you know. I think it's very fair. I think Kate brings Kate. I do not you see it for the white Hollyberry? Is that? What? Do you think? I'm tired of her? Are we all? I'm tired of her being in the papers. Get out

of the papers. Like, first of all, we're also always being like, oh my god, I love Jennifer Anniston. I wish she could, like, you know, find a man, because like I feel like people think that she's like a surrogate for them. If she can find a man, I can find a man. It's like you had Brad Pitt, you had justin three you had friends. All three of them are over. She couldn't keep a man or a project,

just like Hallie Berry. Just like, here's the thing. I don't believe that Hallie Berry and Jennifer Aniston are comfortable because I do think that Hallie Berry has quite the range, right, I just mean in terms of in terms of the public losing things. What what can we say that Halle Berry is also Jennifer Anniston has been walking around with that what we call the Rachel for a long time. Is the Rachel. First of all, is a is a black girl wig bear around for decade and it's and

it's and it's black girl's quick drag too. It's quick drag, and it's you would not come out the house in that way. It's shaking up white people walking around with the Rachel. I will say, I think the iconic Yeah, I know for sure, for sure, I think the iconic hair style in Friends was actually Monica's hairstyle, or when Phoebe would put her hair up and use like the pencils like cute little, Yeah, she had a cute up, dudes.

This was back when they would do like little they would wear like a cheap how they would do like an appropriatively Asian bun and like, do you feel that it was appropriately I mean a little. I'm not going to say, and I will say that Friends with all the cats getting the chopsticks put it in my bun?

There you got just I think I think, Look, it's fine for Nikki to use that because anti anti Asian, because um Asians have profited off anti blackness, but black people have not necessarily profited off anti Asian Asian nous, right, But Friends with an all white cast, it does profit off anti Asian nous that they also? Were you a Friends fan? But you weren't things standing for Friends? Like I look back, and I'm like, I don't care. Really, Yes, I watched every episode at some point, and I don't

watch it on Netflix though. Sure. Yeah, the other day I saw someone shared like a quiz like these are You're a real fan if you know this whatever. In Friends, I was like, are we still talking about this? Damn? People can't let it go. When Fraser is streaming, when Cheers is on Spin City, Spin City? Where's news radio? Where's Caroline in the city. Oh, I didn't watch that,

but I will say Friends, she doesn't hold up. She doesn't hold because no, because commonly, commonly a large plot point and most episodes will be that they are panicked over, like the gay panic type of comedy, like the three of them, like like like one time they woke up in a bed together and it was hilarity. Honey, the audience was eisode. Yeah, there was a there was a nap episode where Joey and I think Ross were like napping together and then they realized they really enjoyed it.

What if in the last episode, like Rachel had run in and should I got off the plane and Ross is like, actually this is oh yeah, I'm gay with Joey. With Joey, that would have been hot. I loved Joey too. Did you think that Joey was the comedic energy of the show. No, you should not have gotten a spin off so stupid, I mean r I p dre damonteo though. Oh, my god. And also Jennifer Cool is there for hire

all as they always do. But um no, if anyone should have gotten a spinoff, should have been feeding right right right. But I believe that a spin off parent trapped that show, that act apparent. But I would say, I would say that we are more thankful that we had to come back. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I don't believe we would have had both. I'm sure. I think. Here's how I know that, I mean, it's for your consideration.

Season here is because you see Megan am Ram posters everywhere. Yes, we see Megan am Ram posters everywhere on Hollywood, And it's just a reminder for everyone that's maybe an EMY voter that listens to the show, you can vote for Megan m Ram and outstanding Actress in a short form web series from comedy or drama series. Unfortunately, I am not in the series enough to be nominally in the one episode. But if the series wins you you can go to the ceremony and I to tell people nominated.

There you go and you are in a pivotal episode where she finds out she is Korean, um and you give her the permission to um. But we should say that, um if that becomes a problem. It was Lena Dunham's idea, yes, and that is those are iris words, right, Okay, but I want to say that I think of her. Yes, let's go watch. Finally watched because I was in yeah, yeah, yeah, talk about what we felt about Lena on Drag Race.

You know what I am. I tried not to be one of those people who mean to her, mostly because she follows me on Twitter and I find it hard to be mean to my Twitter followers. Right right, celebrities, there is my kryptonite. All right, follow me on Twitter. I might not be mean to you. Try it Trump, But she seemed so uncomfortable, uncomfortable, and she also just seemed like she was paid to be there to stand

Eureka ya original and you're doing because she's a big girl. Yeah, honestly, it really was too much from it well, and during on Touch, she goes back into the into the untucked room and she's like, she goes up to Eureka. She's literally like, I knew last season that you were going

to come back and take this whole thing. Like another contests are like, oh my, um, Lena, we wrote in our in our recap for Vulture that um, like Lena probably went on on SAT and like went up to the sound mixer and was like, I'm such a fan of your work like that. I worked with her before on one thing and she came up and she was like, I'm such a fan. I was like, what have you seen me do? Yeah? She can't wait, to be honest, and then she followed me on Instagram and then unfollowed, unfollowed.

I don't know why it kept be my oppressive Instagram stories. Hairs Hers isn't oppressive. They're a lot, but you know what, they are a lot? Thank you for bringing the truth. As long as Jim Henson is off the air, I can get my daily dose of muffet? Do you feel that I give muppet? I am a wide mouth, You've got a long face. I am constantly like, who has their hands up? Math? I'm constantly like that. Sometimes I don't even know. I'm like, who has their hands on me?

To night? Um? Okay, so listen, UM, I just want to say really quickly before we ask the question, UM, it's for your consideration season. I feel like, um, oh my god, where was I coming with this? Never mind? If you remember it's bring it up later. Yeah, it's appropriate. Um, when we have a note, we'll take that note and we implemented in the next performances. Because you can't go back. You can't. I was going to drag some some TV show for not being emy worthy, but suits, suits, Oh

my god, suits, Yeah, cancel it. Not without Megan Markle exactly. Mark was in the pilot of the reboot a character head in a jeep. Oh my god, she gave head in a jeep. And now she's royalty, the Duchess of Sussex. I remember literally zero things from that night or two pilot. I'll watch this. I did tune in because I wanted to see, like Shannon already slay Yeah, but she did not. Really, I don't think that you can't. Actually, this is the rule of culture number. You can't slay if the material

doesn't allow you toye. But also that's not always true. Sometimes I think someone takes something on slay worthy and they slay the cast emotions A there you go, But the script was bad. Did you think the direct there was bad? Really? Ross is a bad director. You don't like your games in the first two No, they're pretty good. They're fine, but like the real Hunger Games is three

part one give you like seventies psycho thrillers. I thought Catching Fire was legit good, I think because of the material, actors, and it's hard to talk out like a movie like that. This was just like this needed to be a heist, it needed to be sexy. It was just there was also no plot. There was very little plot there was,

that's true. And also I thought it could have gotten interesting there at the end, like with um, James Cordon coming in, But then I don't think James Cordon is going to come in and make anything like more interesting. I don't even want to think about James honestly, Yeah, it was I thought, why wasn't that character a woman? Why?

Why are and also why is it Cordon? So where was the Andy Garcia character where there was no villain and there was no villain trying to catch sand Rain like this, and James Gordon should have been a woman, and she should have been like waiting for her outside the prison like I'm gonna get you and just so yeah, and she should have been played by Penelope crew Now I think for the sequel there, okay, Penelope great, I'm thinking Angelina comes in for nine A guy, I guess

I would see. I'm always down for Michelle. We used to say the children have forgotten Michelle, but this year, I feel like the children remember Michelle. I love I love Michelle. She is. She is a white auntie. Um, but also supported Angelina. You know, a guess a fucking bad bit. Black people love angel she is well. First of all, she is a light skinned, white woman of color, and um, we love um. Black people watch like action movies.

Yeah yeah, yeah, and so she give you. Some people are always confused about like what white stars we love. It's just like I grew up watching my uh my mom and like my grandmother and like my aunts and stuff like they will love them some Angelina Jolie h A friend asked me last night, or like, is Jennifer Garner a white gay thing? And I was like, currently, yes, we love Alias, we love Alias. And also did you

see the trailer for her new movie. I know, but she's just like shooting up Mexicans and I don't think we can I don't think we can support that. We don't know there, we don't know. I think that it was like these Mexicans kill her family, and then she's like, I'm gonna go kill the cartel. Okay, I'm gonna go get us, and she every Mexican, I see, it's racist. What are you doing? Don't we respect? Don't we respect that?

She's been able to combine her brands of doing like every month, kick Flip with a gun and also mom because she's taking her entire brand from her early career and her entire brand from the last ten years and combining them to make something super Jennifer Garner, Yes, you know, but black people don't respect that. Every black person has to multitask. There you go, there you go. Okay, I don't know if I mean first first of all, I mean, okay, you know what it owns like several countries, Yeah, she

owns them. She she Pie Piper, multiple children. I didn't know, Salt changeling. She managed to make people still like her after making out with her brother. She fully did mouth on mouth, carry blood around on red carpet, and then she went to glam like like Ampham or whatever that

places that gives food two kids, lamb fan. She like category is she is walking at every category is international, savior, beautiful, She's giving Honestly, I'm very up and down with Angelina Jolie because and it's interesting we talked about Angelina Jolie after discussing Jennifer Anison earlier. They're often discussed side by side, and this podcast is no exception. Yes, you're well, that's okay,

So that that that's been you know, declared. I have always identified as more of an Aniston than an Angelina because I feel that if I become successful in an acting capacity, it will be You're going to pretend to drink smart water to yes, because I don't, because I don't think they'll give me Like do you know the only time I drink smart water is when I buy a bottle of water before I get on the airplane water.

I get it. But you understand that like these actresses, in order to make their supplemental income, they can either decide to do the shitty romantic comedies and the product placements,

or they can become fashion icon of the world. And not everyone can become fashion icon of the world because they don't have the bone structure, honey, and so I feel a haircut, yes, and so I feel that if I were to become successful, I would unfortunately go the route of product placement and dumbass movies and not fashion fashion fashion, fragrance, fragrance, fragrance, even though I would love to have a fragrance and will be called gay son gay s U n s O N. Okay, this is new.

This is you keep changing the fragrance name and it's what was my last fragrance? Um? I was gonna have one called bold? Uh you you were gonna. I can't keep track of them. I'm sorry they can't. That's your job is to keep track of my products. Um three that basic, That's what That's what it was. That's what the last one was. Basic. Yeah. Well, last night we were on pop Rock and he said, what would your house be called if you had a house like in Pose?

And I said, house of Basic? Are we watching Pose? Of course? What do we think? What do we think? What do we really think? I? Okay, great, how do you do it? Well? We live for it, We live for it. The writing is like very classic Ryan Murphy writing. Could you believe? I mean it's I call it the Dynasty reboots. That writing is very original version of Dynasty. I mean I'm living but I'm also I mean, okay, sure, original version of Dynasty. All right, now you're as opposed

to the rebo. I think it depends on whose mouth it's coming out of where whether the dialogue works, like we're pretty iffy on Dominique Jackson in the first episode. But then I looked back and I loved when like, um uh Blanca was leaving the house and um uh, what's elect her just tosses her head back over our shoulder and goes, you'll be back. And I was like, no, that's good, No, it's good. It's good at the museum, yes, shack pot, Yes, it's too good not to be seen.

I mean, yeah, it's pretty great. And also, of course the famous like mini monologue she gave I come up into anyway, I passed, gorgeous, this is this is on her? Yeah. And then in the second episode, um, oh my god, oh oh yes, this is on her. It's on the house. I love it. And then she has another you missed this, but after she bails um blank at a jail, she goes, um blank, is like, are you going uptown? They're getting in the car. Yes, the subway is that way? You

should get um I love it. Sure, I mean, okay, that's a great way to put it, though, it's it's the Dynasty rebit we deserve. It is like so like and as in as in Dynasty, the writing works saying swims depending on who is delivering the line. Right, true, it is like you have either have your dying Carols or you have your whoever that bit was, who played Crystal Carrington? Like, wow, that's shady. Crystal was always like

boring as hell. You were always on Alexis side, always always yes, I mean they tried to make as the villain and it was like for her. Yeah, that's true. We did a show called Nights when we were both in full drag performing an episode of an episode of like a soap that we wrote. And now I'm feeling the shade from you because you told me that I was the Linda Evans and you were. No, I've always

said that I was Linda. The Linda Evans was the crystalas between the guy Brandham has said that you are the Alexis, I am the Crystal, Like that is the trust anyway, another arbiter of dominate Champagne. It's barent. It must have been frozen in the can you know you've seen the same clip as us Okay, bit John Blast, I've watched every episode. Are you like a big fan? Yes, I guess my favorite. Okay, well this is where we

ask you to follow me on Instagram until after. But last year I watched the entire series of Dynasty, and my Instagram stories were just clips nine seasons. You were doing what Phoebe Robinson did with Game of Thrones there for quite a minute through it. Okay, this is where we ask you the question we ask all of our guests, which is what is the culture? That made you say

culture is for me? Made you step in a cultural direction. Yes, it was like that moment in um in Pocahonas when she rolled when she rolls up, when she rolls up to the two paths, and one path was the culture and one path was you know, a life you'll never know. Um. You know, my my father wasn't a part of my family life, you know, UM for much of my childhood.

And I remember visiting him in New York and um, the streets, you know, the streets were bright and they were sunny, but you know, just down the corner you could see the decadence of New York and the pain. And you know, he took me to a museum and there, of course we're the luminaries Andy Warhol Baskuyacht and we we all hung out and you know, um, I became part of Andy Warhol's factory and um, you know I become famous ever since that. And you know, Gretchen Mall

played me. We are really were living at culture. What really got me in it was probably just like Buffy honestly. Yeah. So Sarah Michelle Geller is someone that you love. I love her, Yeah, I'll never forget her. I helped her on to what I used to be a barista, you know, before my come up and um, and she came up to me once when I was a barista at this place coffee Commissary in Burbank and this was when she was on The Crazy Ones with Robin Woods. I p. She came over to me with her iPad. Mm hmmm,

I don't know how to get on the WiFi? Could you help me? And she gave me her I've had part of me wanted to be like scroll with me and like but I logged her onto the WiFi and you sent her on her way. Did you tell her that you were a huge fan and then one day you'd answer with her name as to what culture influenced you know. But then I met her again when I was at BuzzFeed after the Glow, after the and I

did not get to interview her. I remember being really pissed that the people who ran the parents section at BuzzFeed had her come in and talk about like mom stuff, and I was like, bitch, we could have talked about Buffy yea, um, but so I have a lot of like graphic T shirts. I was wearing a Buffy shirt that day by accident, but it was the Christie Swanson ninety two Buffies Okay original movie, and she saw it. That's not me, did you really? Yeah? But I was,

but I was able to tell her. She stopped over and talk to me and Louis Pittsman who worked with me, and he and I were both like, we love you. Oh my god. I mean I love telling someone that that. Yeah, it has to be the right moment, but you gotta, I feel like, you gotta get that out there for certain people. Yeah. Yeah, I did it to Eileen Davidson because I've watched Days of our Lives, so you're a stand in the correct way. Yeah, she's I mean, winner

two times. That's right, she's serving on on Days of World Lives. I was, I told her. I interviewed her when she was on rest Beverly Hills. Then I also saw her at the Days of Lives fiftieth anniversary party. Um, that's a ticket score. Also Hall Marlena Um came over to me and was like, excuse me, you just take a photo of me, and oh my god, wow, And there was that that that's a truly after the glow moment.

You feel that someone company and be like, excuse me, couldn't mean that you are being recognized in your moment of glass. She was like, now I'm gonna throw a bone under the bus. We recently were at a party for Vulture Festival of the opening party and someone was like, Hi, can we get a picture? And Bone was like yeah and put his arm around me and like posed, and I did too, and then she goes, oh no, I meant, could you take one of my friends? And we literally screamed.

We were like, oh my god, We've never We've never felt worse. He was like literally like sure, and it was just like such a Snapling twit moment culture number four field. Yeah, wait, hold on Sally is slang? What is she doing when she said on Twitter, um, the thing about Samanthay was wrong to call cunts are powerful, loving, be unfl gorgeous queens or something like that. And I was just like, yes, Sally Field, so you know what shots me something? Black people Sally Field action after that?

After that, you know we love you know not all listen, bit don't you be reductive here? Ah couldn't walk into a store front the Los Angeles Sally Field just because after that tweet, like so many different black people being like Sally is a savage, but she always love miss Field. I'm like, oh, miss Field, it's actually a real coachure. Num,

I've always loved Miss Field. People loving. You know who's like killing it on Twitter right now is the Wendy's Twitter again Wendy's because oh my god, yes, Wendy's the restaurant. Wendy's the restaurant is killing it on Twitter. Is being savage savage, and um, it's inspiring. We won't get into it, but because we have to say, now why because I hoped changed to I hobb in the stupidest fucking move

I've ever heard in my life. International Burger Burgers and um, somebody was like, oh, Wendy's, are you like shook that that I hob is now a thing? And they were like, we're not scared of a chain that figured out that pancake was too hard for them. Oh my, it's great. Wendy was feeling some kind of way. Wendy was out. I feel like I was for a while. I was like, who is robing the Wendy's account? And I feel like it's some like white girl in the more, probably feeling

herself watching old episodes of Noah's Art. Yeah, and she will move to l A or New York at one point and get a few general meetings and be like and they'll be like, so tell us about you, and they're like, well, I ran the Wendy's Twitter and they'll be like, I like it honestly, but not but not you. We're going to call Wendy's get that I p and make a show by girl called Wendy Takes Hollywood. Honestly,

I I see it. I would speaking of Hollywood. Okay, bitch, you introduced me as a Daily Beast writer and I am no longer as a friend. I'm okay, we have a new gig announcement, new gig alart this and I don't come on got a rename itself on Hollywood. Oh my god. Okay, so what's what's the gig? What are we? What are we writing? On a Netflix untitled teen sci Fi Robbery, I said, I was like, I love a

good teen in sci fi peril. I'm saying like that is the like perfect convergence of genres that we need or I mean whatever, like I love age genre whatever. That's amazing. That's so quite excited. I'm very excited. I just left my job of five years two weeks ago before, I like, before I flew out to the West Coast leaving the show. I'm not the show. Oh my god. Can you imagine I'm replacing him with you new giggler? I feel like so, I I have a little panic

about it. I'm just like, what what's going to happen? How long are your dearly beast? Just like a year? Just like a year? Okay, but it is no real Like I'm a year, girl girl? So how Long's keep it going to? Long? And Lewis know about this? Oh honestly, Kara and Lewis keep it mad and Bowen, We're coming in, were coming in. We we fill those roles so smart. I just grave shake ups, you know. So it's you know, after years, something needs to happen to shake it out. Yeah,

I agree, I agree, shake it out. Okay, what's a verdict on Zindia? You know? What do we like? I do like? But does anybody remember that that bit she used to be a singer? Yeah, I such the greatest showman and Kara, she added the album when she was at Disney. I'm like, where is the music I studying in these little roles, in these little roles being some fashion icon. I want some bops? Okay, but we can. She can give you the bop in the greatest show in the Gretish money. How could we read stars? I

would have it Sandia. I can admire her focus on her on on whatever vertical of a career she wants to focus on. But like you compare her to Selena, who is like all over the place. It's not really even doing movies anymore. But I'm saying I would rather have a kidneys. Yea, she got a kidney. She received a kid She received a kidney and also a huge check from those Pantine commercials girl, Yes, yeah, and her friend Pat Regan says, no one slays a hair commercial

like Selena. You know what I will. I will actually always stand because I watched every episode of which got it okay, and it was good. I was more. I was more a oh my god. I almost just called she should act again. She should, That's what I'm saying. I believe that she is a more powerful actress than she is a singer. But I think money isn't he she saw like a whispering read where she sings like a branch from the willow tree in Pacahana. He was like,

you didn't like bad liar. I was like, I mean it's fine, like chanchanging thing, like it's what it's yeah, what do we care? It's um it is. If you can't sing, at least do us the courtesy of knowing how to dance. Yeah, okay, she tries to give you a little bit of hierography, not dancing. She remember her era where she was um wearing like the bendy Oh yeah, like I'm just like Middle East. That was when they were there, was doing like a burgership like she was.

It was why Katy Perry was an Egyptian woman. She was an Egyptian woman literally has a song she wails about underneath the bark crop like nobody called the bitch out on that you're Orien. I mean people, people did never forget. I don't know. Oh my god, I I am not going to get into this with Matt. Matt loves the word Chola, and no, don't throw this to me. I always thought that you were ethnic too, and I was shocked to find out that you were just some

Staten Island gay island guy. I am a Long Island guy. I am a Lotland white gay and that is my mind. Arm, thank you. I stand with my sister and asked ray Soddy. I was like, it's Matt and She's like no, but she literally she was like absolutely not. Wait, but what what did you think I was? I thought you were just like some sort of some sort of like Latino mix, very happy about I'm Greek, so that's where this comes from. Yes, and we're we've now been in this on the West coast,

so we've been in the sun. So the Greek nature is coming. The Greek melanin is you know bone, there's no one on the planet like me. Yeah, I'm talking to you. Sorry. I was thinking about how there's no one on the planet like me. You know, there's no one on the planet like either of us or you at home listening. And here's my question. Because there's no one on the planet like you, why would you buy a mattress that's built for just anybody. You don't want

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the beautiful darling mattress experience. Go forth. Didn't you school together when we did? I recall because when did you graduate? Yes? Together? But you were in grad school yes, from two thousand nine. Were you in dramatic writing. Oh my god, hello, and now it's all coming back to me. Now, my god, this isn't the first time, your wife, because you weren't you worked in, Um go there, I worked in. I worked in the front office as my you know, student work,

literally on the seventh floor of tissues. Oh my god. I handed out the cameras too in that little Yes, this is so for people and you. So you were there with like Liam Dempsey, but he moved to like San Jose. So this is so funny because now it really does will come back to me now, Honestly, I felt like I was very transient in that department. Like I really wasn't ever in it. I was like off doing my sketch comedy thing and like really wasn't very present.

It works out quite well. Actually, have a podcast. Now I can go any pass I passed as someone who knows anything about culture. I can be up there with the Catra Browns Lewis Mortels and be treated just like Anny Lewis Mortel. Don't make that the callback. I need that two more times. The rule of fours. Okay, um, this is such just now this is huge, yes, because okay, that is so funny. Listen, bitch. Okay, we're gonna we're

gonna get into it. Okay, So unfortunately it's gonna be a little bit of a truncated episode today, but you have to. We must do. I don't think someone must now listen, this is coming out just after our l A. I don't think we want to thank you guys all for coming out. It was so much, it was so fun. We're just gonna assume that it was. I was there, and this is our segment. We take one minute to

rail against something in culture that's sucking pissing us off. Um, so Bo and Yang, do you have, um something that you'd like to do? This is gonna be this is gonna be very specific to where the city we're in, but um, but yeah, we're gonna do it. Okay, and um this is Bowen Yang's I don't think so honey

and his time starts now. I don't think so many of the Starbucks on Grand Avenue in Sixth Street here in downtown Los Angeles, Bitch, I had to wait twenty five minutes for this goddamn iced coffee, tall iced cop unsweetened, and a fucking banana. Do any of those things take more than two minutes to put together to assemble, no bitch, And I don't think so, honey. I think his name was Richard. Someone over there is managing this very poorly.

You had a whole line of people of sucking suits and the fucking dredged up filth of the city waiting in the line with me. And I don't think so, honey, that it took me so long to get this, and any know, it's very well traught territory to complain and didn't shoot on Starbucks, especially when in an urban center like Los Angeles, like d T l A. But I

was truly shook by the incompetence, the mismanagement of the Starbucks. Um, you know, Starbucks five, maybe you should close your stores for one day after the racism seminar to also teach your fucking employees how to run a goddamn business. And that's one so much. That's why minutes because you were waiting for a coffee and ice coffee. As if my time isn't valuable, respect that queen, You don't respect my time. I don't. Um, okay, this is your turn, Well hold on, wait,

let me just make sure I want to do this one. Okay, I want to do this, you want to do it? Okay, okay, And this is Matt Rodgers is I don't think so, honey. As time starts now, I don't think so, honey. People who are not rooting for Lady Gaga to be a slay This woman is literally shaking on the couch, bitch, because her body hurts from giving you entertainment. She wakes up every goddamn day of her life and tries to slay you. And you're gonna see this trailer and be like,

m that'll be pulpy and bullshit. No bitch, it's gonna be good and she will win the awards. I am rooting for her and I want her to succeed because I believe in rewarding extremely talented people who work extremely hard. My dad always said, um, hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard. And guess what when you have the talent and you have the drive, boom, bitch and she's out there slaying it. The trailer looks great by Cooper, have the chem Street here, there's a scene with a

single tier. She is going to uniquely slay you. In terms of the live vocals and then if you really pause the trailer when there's the montage at the end, it looks to be some fierce acting. So I don't think so, honey, if you don't want to have joy in your life and watch Lady Gotta Slight and Stars, I just think that it is ridiculous that you wouldn't want something to be good. It's like, who is rooting

against her? Though? I feel that there are people who are watching the trailer and then they're saying Lady Got about trying to act, or there's people that are like, yeah, well, it's like people who are like people who say, how dare Lady Got can come in here and think she can win an acting oscar and take it from Glen Close. The gays are out there saying it. They think it's Glen Close as year. Well maybe it's not. Let's watch

all the performances. I think. Um, I think Glenn Close is probably like depleted all her good will ever since Albert Nams with the queer community. This is a hot take. This is a hot take. But everyone if if if you're supposed to have an oscar, you'll get one, okay, whatever that means, get one. And if you and if and if you don't have one, you're not paying the right people. This is Hollywood been a scheme. Okay, well well well we can talk about this some other time.

Let's table that. But now we have to go to Iron Madison the thirds. I don't think so, honey. Are you ready? Yeah? Really unprecedented. His time starts now. I

don't think so, honey, Neo Patrick. All right, First of all, he is out here tweeting about I don't know who Rachel Bloom is at the Tony Awards and then Tony and then Rachel has to respond like you know me, My husband wrote on your show you've met me, And it seemed like he was tweeting while high, and he was also like Gideon was like talking to me that did should know who the fuck she is too. This is ridiculous. I don't think so, hunting Neil Patrick Harris

tweet tig in general. Last time he won viral for a tweet is when he tried to drag Wesley Morris for saying that Black fifteen did not like um that fucking Billboards movie. Yeah we didn't like it. Sorry you liked it. You don't even have any black friends. White chorus dancers need to watch crazy girlfriends. And that's and I guess what you did? The one I was going to do tonight at the live show, and now I have to do another one. Thievery Okay, thievery and trickery

and tomfoolery at the ball. Um we I have to say, I'll be right there. Okay, is here everyone tonight. This is something we're gonna keep recording because you have time to fill you love you. This is so fun and he looks fierce and you'll see photos of it at I don't think so, honey. Let's take our fake photo. Let's take our fake photo. Let's do it there unless you want to do a live photo right now. Okay, okay, but we'll see you buy doyanee. Everyone give it up

for the doyanne. Okay, listen, can we spill a little bit of tea about no Patrick Harriss because I was going to do that as my I don't think so, honey tonight. By the way, that was lovely and this is very new for us to have a ghost. You know what. Let's start drama. Iron Madison stormed out of here. He stormed out anyway. Um No, there's no drama. It was fucking amazing. And also he's wearing a gray jacket with a Beyonce shirt underneath, and the nails are painted

and nails are painted lost top coat is electro worthy. Um, Okay, you go. Here's what I have to say about No, Patrick Carss. Neil Patrick Harris is a fucking board game. Why are his kids named Gideon? And are they for sale? Are they fucking pre anti? Are they sucking Antebellum slave owners? I shouldn't say that, No, listen, I support you saying that.

And also how producer Brett is like hates that we should mention how producer Brett because I literally just just walked in and it's gonna be a long engagement along engagement. That's beautiful. They're thinking end of the year. Two amazing. I love it. Make a drawn out like a have a long engagement. Honey, it's a Pixar movie engagement. Yes, honey, make sure we are anticipating it as much as we are anticipating incredible to Yes. Okay, So Neil Patrick Harris,

I mean just I called him on Twitter. Hello, Milady Gay. Here's a hello, Milady Gay. Fuck you suck you from bitch magic isn't magic. Magic, it's not reorry. Magic doesn't suck. Magic is great. No, Neil Patrick Harris doing magic sucks. Magic does suck. Also, that variety show he had, he tried to have, here's what's wrong with that. How dared you, as a gay man get on the same stage as Nicole Scherzinger and say, go stand on the side and

comment on what I do. Every gay man worth their salt knows that when you are in the same rooms Nicole, you left her up. You left her up because guess what, she fights tooth and nail. She hasn't got that type where she has the talent and the hard work. And people still are like, no, you do not do that. Ever, Neil Patrick Harris, Like even sucking him on How I Met Your Mother is just such like a I'll tell

you what's bad, bad performance. Here's what's funked up about about Neil Patrick Harris and How I Met your Mother? That was misogynny honey, And they were able to get away with it as intensely as they did because he was a gay man and he is party to that. Oh, he's a he's a womanizer. Let's make him a reprehensible character on TV that we will allow because he's gay

and real stay in real life. Also, like I'm trying to be I'm I'm sort of backing up a little bit with my um sort of vitriol for white gayness. Um wow, But with Neil, like the Neil is just emblematic of no, no, no no. I think he's exactly right. He does not have one. Maybe Beati Wong. He's been invited to one of the parties. Yeah, but then he's like, oh yeah, Beatie makes kanji, Beatie makes porridge, and you get I learned, I learned how to use chopsticks and

beats parties. Fuck you. I am no longer a fan, and honestly, I have Rachel Rachel's family. I haven't even Rachel his family, and I haven't even mentioned the garbage that was this tweet. Why are you sitting at home? Especially and also this is punching down what you know? I hate um. Why are you sitting at home and you shitty asked kids who by the way, fucking kids, bitch, you are trying too hard on a Halloween Okay, look,

I got it, and you are gay. Um, Like, it doesn't have to be that couple assists for your children? Fuck you When he sits there and tweets who is this woman hosting backstage in the top hat? Gideon says, she says like, and oh my god, a lot. I'm confused dot dot dot, So what are you suggesting that she shouldn't have the job? Also, why don't you know who Rachel Bloom is? Also why like stop letting your child like dictate a woman's words. Honestly the whole stop letting.

It's actually rule culture N three, stop latting your child dictator woman's words. I couldn't believe he had like just like the like self assurance to tweet something like that. I was like, this is so stupid. Obviously this person is like having fun doing it their way, like trying to spice up the tonies, which God knows and needs. I really didn't like that, really didn't like it. Neil always had a bad taste in my mouth, always always

had a weird feeling about Neil. And he's canceled for me. Yeah, And then I had people coming to coming from me on Twitter being like, why are we deciding I was Neil Patrick Harris the new celebrity. We're all deciding to day hate for no reason, and I'm like, honestly, why we all? Why not we all decided to hate and half away and she's half as annoying as him there half has always been half as annoying as about three times as telling did. I'm gonna say more than that

by by fucking orders of magnitude, honey. I just feel like it is this thing where we decided, like, let's have no Patrick Harress beloved, And like, I guess, yes, it must have been hard to be the first like well, you know, super openly out you know, male gay celebrity in a while, or one that was like a successful in the mainstream way. And like I did love him for so long, but here's the realty. I would have kept loving him if he hadn't shown that his personality

was so shitty. Also, I don't know, I'm about to say something weird. Oh my god, I think yes, I think everyone should stay in the closet for as long as they need to, for whatever reasons they need to. But Neil, I mean Press Hilton, piece of ship, like outed him, outed him publicly, and that's sort of like through Neil Patrick Harress's life into Ti molten he had to deal with that sucks. No one should go through that.

But I can imagine a world where he just would have stayed in the class the whole time and like not been like Halloween gay dad, like parading his kids around in like like little Baker costumes. Like that's I can imagine. But that's not fair for me to say it would have come out at some point and been the Halloween gay bag. Sure, but I'm saying, let's not like,

but okay, no, this is the thing. This is why you're bringing up because when you're like because when you say things like he was one of the few gay men at the time out there, like is that that's not that's that that wasn't on his right, It wasn't. He wasn't brave and doing you know, but he didn't meet that head on dead. He did that situation itself. He did meet head on and like that is honorable. But like to say, like, well he was a pioneer, it's like yeah, but he like if he had his way,

he would not have been visible. Yeah, it's a Roseanne getting canceled where it's like, had literally not everyone quit, maybe the show wouldn't have been canceled. There you go. I don't know. I'm literally just going off like his behavior in the last years. I'm like, god, you are you love yourself? Like and yeah, go ahead and love yourself. Everyone go love yourself. But like he's arrogant to me, like to sit there and feel like you could say

that about like on Twitter. And also you have met her and you worked with her husband for years anyone who I don't think that people have I don't think somebody before people being like we've met. I mean, Rachel did that in a way that was like, actually, no, funk you, this is fucked up. Um. Also, it's a different situation when you're tweeting it to your millions of followers. You have to be able, you have to respond to that.

And also, Rachel Bloom is a celebrity. Yes, she is the star and writer and EP of a critically acclaimed show that the fourth season. Um Golden Globe Winner, Golden Globe winner. Well, I loved Ira, Let's just become wonderful. Let's recap the up. Um. Well, I mean like Ira is just one of those people you know who just has such a fun like trove of cultural knowledge or can just like you can whip it out, can can

can measure it. We have to get her back when she is in l A, when in New York, when she's in New York, will get her back, um, you know, and now with the new gig, with a new gig, also keep it like what like what an elevated discussion like we we we keep you over here and we're just like a little little little little dummy. No, honey, I pass. I could pass. I can marchin to keep it. I could stay Kara Brown right in her eyes and

I could intellectually match her. I could look at Louis Fortell in his face and he would turn to sand I could look. I could walk into the Crooked Media offices and Sarah John love it and the eye and say, bitch ay love it or leave it? Love it or leave it? I say leave it. The subways over there, I say leave it, keep it. I don't think so, honey. All gays are just using different words to say the same thing, which is we don't like things, which is we don't like things, but um, but now we love

we love everyone over and keep it. I feel so close to them, so close to them, just kidding, um, I have to make care of Kara. I love Kara, has a great podcast voice, gorgeous, gorgeous, tambergeous. And they took some fierce pictures at Boroto. Did you get to ask about I did mention to us before we had record that? Um? They that the Southern humanity did wonders for his skin. I love that, which I don't think applies to me when I'm down there. Um, but I

love that for him, you know what I'm saying. And they they did. We They turned out some some looks for those pictures featuring Joe Kim Booster, who I said, is giving you arms and also is giving you a face that he was trying to pass. He was pay he was passing. He was passing as what as a straight young man? Joel Kim Booster Joe kim Booster not clear. Chilkim Booster says, I come up into any straight amount and passed like any other white straight man in there.

They sent me down. I could look, um, I almost said Jonathan Graf as an example straightment Yeah, Jonathan Graf, perennial straight. I can look Dermot mulroney in the face. And he turned to Sad Honey I'm tried, like any Dermott, Moroney, Dylan McDermott, these are white actors in this town. Yes, yes, so Joel can pass UM well anyway, we're sure there's a lot of there's plenty of overlap. You just slurped into that, Mike, I'm I'm dealing with post nasal drop.

That's it's bad, UM. But we're sure there's plenty of overlap between our audiences and keep Its audiences we were. I would like to UM storm the keep It offices. I will stomp the runway I keep it UM if they still have us UM anyway, if they want their discussion like knocked down eight or nine UM intelligence levels or intelligence. I shouldn't say that. I shouldn't keep you back because you could go in there and I feel that, literally,

I feel that we were a pop rocket yesterday. I was like, I do not have anything valuable to say and mean while you were getting in there with some opinions and some well thought opinions. Were you surprised that I was able to I'm not. I'm never surprised. I'm listeners if you're if you're still listening at this point, post I relieving, UM, I always say this to him and he never chooses to accept it. Matt as one

of the smartest people I know. That's very he um And No, it never surprised me that you have the intelligence I don't have. Um, I don't have the critical brain, Like you're able to watch something and be like, um, Okay, here's what I'm noticing. This is this is something that is that should be discussed. I'm always like, yeah, um m. J. Rodriguez was really good. Like I'm just like, oh my god, I feel that A C master you. Um. So I don't have the critical brain. I have the analytical brain.

But no, I think the same thing. No, I mean I have the computational brain. Can I tell you what I think? Yes? I think when it comes to intelligence, you're either an S A T bitch or an A C T bitch, which is which is yes, I'm sure you did your bitch, which is the capacity to learn and the access to your knowledge already. Okay, so you're an ACT bitch. I am an A C T bitch, but they is a ceiling Well, I don't know. I did better on the A C T than I did

the SA. Should we bravely share our scores. Okay, would you get in the A C T thirty one? Okay? And then what do you sh That's great? Those are good scores. I did better when they added in the riding great. Um. I had to take the set twice. Um, but combined my best scores from all three I got perfect. And then and then for my A C T I got a thirty four. Fuck you, Oh my god, how

could you ever say I'm smart? Because you sit here on the pedestal, You sit here, and you have A C T and S A T learned experience, you were able to slay them both. Um. I oh no, I'm sorry. I have to correct myself. I got a thirty five. And my god, people stupid, the people, the students, the people out of school, who got a thirty six perfect thirty six? Um, we're able to get inner at the

governor's house. And I was so mad that I wouldn't the Governor's house for dinner for dinner, And I was so mad that I didn't get I was one point away from going to the Governor's house. Do you know who? I have the same exact essay T score as Sudie Green really sued the same exact God, which I think she might have had a bad day because I think she's incredibly she's she's smarter than both of us. She could defeat us in the in the in the contest of wits and the contest of wits and the challenge

of wits. She would rise. She would as the victor. She would stand up of our bodies as the smartest of the three. This is I guess like something is like wucked up, Elicita Edwards, like if she melted into group impression. Yeah, um, excuse me, Brett, can you come over here? No, Brett, do you want to talk to Come on here. This is a glimpse inside forever l A. Now, this is beautiful. This is Brett who, Brett Baum who is the one of the producers forever to We just

want to say that quick hello, thanks guys. And how does it feel to see the rise of culture this? But I mean it is it is truly a sight to behold. Um, it has been amazing. We just, honestly, the three of us, Joe, Ax and I just bask in your resplendent glory. Oh my god, it is the one of the great honors of our lives. Too. Much. This is this is this is overcorrecting for something I think.

Tell us, tell us about your beautiful bride to be Amy. Um, yeah, so Amy and I we got engaged when we were on vacation in Italy on the a oh my a Mufi coast farther south. Yeah, right, it was. It was wonderful. It was. It was a very nice um location, but it was also very private kind of engagement. We found a nice little moment to ourselves. Um. And we were there in the off season, which I kind of like better.

There wasn't a lot going on. It was a little colder, but there's you know, the place to yourself a little bit more. And um, it was, it was wonderful. I'm going to get engaged under underneath the incredible help coaster and I'm the adventure. That's beautiful and I'm trying going to get down on one knee and there'll be no one there. I'll just hold up a ring and like there'll be no one there will just be me under

the coaster. I'll be like that. But that's great that you did it in a graduate that Thank you so much. That's beautiful, Bratt. We're so excited we're so excited. And look, what I want to say is, um, I'll come to the wedding. Okay, Um, I will not invite myself, No, I will say, but um, I mean we are looking for an efficient Still wait, okay, how hard is it

to create some sort of informal competition here? But because I don't think I don't think you have the desire to get on there and want to become an efficient. I fucking love weddings. Now that you don't have a day job, you have the time to get on Absolutely. I weddings are like where I thrive. I know it's very cliche for gay people to be like, I'm great at weddings, but it's will you always turn to look. It's not even about the look. It's like my sister's

wedding was one of the wedding. My sister's wedding was a moment for me that I was like that. I thought to myself, Oh wow, I'm I'm I'm like, I'm I'm worth it. I like, oh my god, Like this sounds so dumb, but like my brother in law's side of the family, like I gave a toast at the rehearsal dinner and like worked in some jokes. Of course, as you do. They expected that from you, so well, they didn't. They didn't know who it was they rehearsal.

The rehearsal dinner was at this fancy Chinese restaurant. They didn't know you were one of commons. Up next, shut up. The rehearsal dinner was at this fancy Chinese restaurant in Cleveland, and literally all these sucking Jewish people thought I was the goddamn help because I was certain I was like helping open bottles of beer. And they were like, this

one fucking idiot. His name is uncle Harvey. Oh my god, yls us Um Yang, let me text me when you hear this, because because Yang is Yang is texting me like and anytime she finishes an episode, it's truly like a beautiful moment in our sibling ship. So she so um. So this guy comes up and he's like, um, hey, by the way, you guys shouldn't keep these beers at room temperature. You should put these on ice because it's beer. And I was like, okay, yeah, I'll do that next time.

Oh my god, you didn't look him in the eyes, and like I wanted, I don't work here, you fucking because because I knew I was gonna go up later and I was like, he's going to feel like a fucking idiot and about him later. No, because no, he came up to me after my toast and he was and he was like that was one. Like he didn't even apologize, he was just like, that was a really great toast. And I was like, um, oh my god, mess Oh no, no, no, no, it's fine. Um that

might have been such not my style. But the wedding, that wedding was a moment. I'm sorry, Bratt, We're just not taking up all this time. But that wedding was a moment where I was like, oh, yeah, okay, these strangers, this general audience is into this. Great I can I can pursue this still. It was It was an affirming moment. But Brett, this is just to say, I think it would be a fun forever dog challenge to see who

who between the two of us might get. We don't have to necessarily be the winners and be efficient the actual efficiant, like make that decision between you and Amy, but whoever gets further along in the selection problem. I mean, she is a big fan of the podcast. It is a it is a something that we share. So I mean, I can't imagine that she would be opposed to this. I mean I could see a sort of war. Here's

what we could do. One of us could be the competition and one of us could perform at the reception. You would rather perform and instead officiate. Yeah, I have a several songs that I could really do, really very well. Um. I could give you everything you wanted a wedding like you know your sign still delivered. I could give you um a slow song like All by Myself from slandy On and I can't hit the notes um in the

original key, So just think about that. I actually really like that because I really like like the engagement, like having sort of private moments in a public space. So if you could sort of take maybe the attention away from us, we can kind of enjoy it all. You know what song I like to open up every wedding I do with Ghostbusters. Yeah. It gets people up and dancing and then like a yeah, gets people shaking their ass. I love to shake my ass to to the Ghostbusters theme.

Actually Real culture number seventeen, I like to shake my ass to the Ghostbusters theme. Okay, we're said, sorry, we're taking up all this time. Thank you for joining us, Brett that we've never done this. Thank you well of course. Um and for all for people who listen to the whole Forever Dog catalog. You you are very familiar with Bratt Bret's work, just producing all the l A stuff.

But this is a moment where the Lost cultures, its fans who maybe aren't familiar get to you can get they can get to know hp B, HPP worlds have colloided. I appreciate it, hp B, don't be scared of it. Everyone has it. Everyone has it. Thanks, It's okay. I think I think this is what a historic episode. This is a historic episode. The forum has been broken. Bit Um, we're excited. We we're feeling feeling a little giddy because

tonight we're going to go do um. I don't think Sonny Live l A and then it'll already have happened. Um when you guys listen to this. But the anticipation is thick, thick in the air. And um, we hope you enjoyed it. It will be coming out very soon on the pod and then the release schedule and Iram Madison the Third will be there rocking the jacket. Look, we just saw which was fierce, and we'll take our photo much later. But um anyway, uh, we'll see you

next time. What lost culture? Wait, hold on, we're not signing off this, but you gotta sing. We have to sing. Okay, Um, what do you want to do? No? Oh my god, I know what we have. Okay. Did you watch the Tony's Did you watch the performance of the band's visit? You don't know that song? I'm ms shty no, never mind? What shall we say? Um? Hi, I'm in the deep band watch us, I dive, I never leave ground. We're far from the shallow. Now star is born coming soon.

Forever This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boum, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at forever Dog team, and liking our page on Facebook.