"Daddy" (w/ Brian Faas)

I just want to say, um, we have not technically been on a full hiatus since last episode, but it's the liminal space between a non hiatus and a full hiatus, but still so much longer than I than I want to be what I want to be talking to you all. Yes, Um, so much culture has happened since the last episode, A ton of culture. By the way, I just want to say, Um, my name is Matt Rogers. Um. By the way, I want to say, my name is Bewen Yang. We are two best friends to host a podcast together that dives

into culture. And wow, has there been a lot of culture these past days. These past days, there's been a lot of culture. And UM, I also want to say this, but I think it's very important to remind the listeners who we are, what we stand for, what our mission statement is, what Our value proposition is yes. Absolutely, See, in the beginning of anything, you want to establish who you are, what your relationship is to the other person, what you have to offer, the value proposition. We're using

business terms here, honey. Yes, this all seems to be a very fitting introduction to our amazing guests. I'm so excited about this guest. I love this guest so much. He is a true guest. Let's left us. Let's let's off the credits. I get off on these credits. I get He is a legendary Yeah, I said it. UCB

Weekend Team, the law Firm. Yes, mythical. The mythical nature of this team brings true He hosts the character wheelhouse show a uc BE called Ding Dong Ding Do and you can see that at U c B Chelsea and it's coming up and maybe even yours truly will be a guest. Okay, girl, Okay, it's a little teasing. Okay, it's teasing. You know, Tickle tickle Um. You might have known him from v H one's Best Week Ever, which is,

of course famously the best show ever. And what a what a little heart throb truly got a lot of community gays, a lot of u c B gays. A lot of people out there, these gays, they have a crush on Brian Foston. I don't want to blow up anyone's spot, but but multiple sources have, multiple sources confirmed they have crushes on Brian Fosseway his name. Listen, you've seen them in videos on above Average all the DUDA it is Brian fix crush Yeah, crush alert. That was

the first time I've heard that. Really, he must have known, you must have had admirers. Well, I think Janie and Kelly, our friends mutual friends, have a bit going on where they pretend to be attracted to me because any time I post like a shameless is yeah, they both will comment and tag each other unbelievable no matter what, And so I feel like I'm being made fun of. Brian wields the power well though, of the thirst trap. I

mean's true. And we we actually got to know Brian will because we were in Brian's Advanced Study performance class at UCB called brunch where we basically did it was the official titles Brunch with Brian. Okay, yes, amazing, I like that better. Um, But and I will say when Brian entered the room, yes, I exclaimed, daddy, and stuck caught on to such an extent. And how did you feel when I said that, because you gave me a look like you didn't like I don't think I feel

like Brian didn't like it. But I'll answer. Here's the thing about nicknames. You can't pick your own nicknames, even sting everyone's like you're still Gordy, you know what I mean? Like you can't pick your own nickname. It's not okay, so it happens to you and I accepted. And no nickname truly, in all of my years, no nickname is stuck except for me. That's unbelievable. I'm so and you're

sort of the king of nicknames, you know. Well, this is my thing is when I feel an instinct, I follow it and like, for example, Bowen has many nicknames, Boby said a lot of Bob said Bob's. But then, as Matt has mentioned before, um, you know he comes. The nicknames are out of complete effects right now? Oh yeah, I mean when when I when I feel a burst of love in my heart, like some word will just

fly forth. You don't tease someone you don't know. But that's the thing, like I mean, there's a fine name between a nickname and a teasing nickname. Girl, if it's not, if it's bothering you, then I think daddy is hilarious. Not a father in real life, but when you're a teacher in a class, you're sort of like you're a daddy.

Everyone goes into their old like psycho sexual and it's funny how some people become like the rebels in the class, even though outside of class they're like, I have no issue with authority, and they don't think you that way, but because suddenly they're like in ninth grade and they're being told what to do. Yeah, no, no, no, I mean there is definitely. I've actually always for as long as I've been in a classroom, I've always always had

a thing with the teacher, absolutely, like I have. I have always thought it was like a thing with authority, but like I've never not been like a little sexually intimidated by the person that was teaching the classes since I was like in first grade, I had a math teacher and I'll use her old name because she's had like other uh okay, Mrs Mobley, Mrs. And now she's someone else and uh, but she was this like a hundred pound little like probably twenty seven year old hottie

math teacher. She did business school, did corporate World for like a couple of years, and then I was like, you know what, I'm going to go back to the kids. And she used to make eyes at me in our precalc class. That's right, pre calculus. And then I took a pcalcu with her, but she s, yeah, you know, I got a five. So did you a a P cow someone? And I are very smart. I took regions statistics. It's like it's like statics. You can either do calculus or you could do statistics, and I chose to do

statistics because it was easier. And I also statistics. Probability is like the hardest part of math. Conceptualizing probability is nuts. I mean, think about I don't want to bring up the election in the first minute of every conversation, but perfect example, it's like people look at the percentage on New York Times and they think Hillary will win by It's like no, no, no no, no, no, it's five elections. She will win four of them and lose one of them,

and we got the fifth one. People like, wait no, and it's like, she has the chance of winning by only one percent. Now if we said what is her chance of winning by five percent, the number would be very different, and people's confidence would have been varied exactly. But it's it's very difficult as humans to wrap our brains around Brian can teach probability, which is why I've famously taken to the woods and now I listened to nothing. I only come out for this podcast. Sure, so listen,

we're talking about daddy. And you know Mark has a beautiful husband. I mean, Brian has a beautiful and you know Mark has a beautiful us both ways, so beauty of homosexuality. So what I guess this naturally goes to is children. When I get it. We get this question all the time. I'm sure you do, um and it's a compliment to be like, you would be great parents, but it's also sort of a backhanded I didn't mean it as I didn't mean it as that I didn't even say I would be a good parent. I like

put that in your mouth. We don't have kids now, and we're not planning on having kids. If we did, we would The only thing that we have decided on is that we would adopt, we wouldn't do you like this surregacy route. And then the only other thing we've talked about is like, if we did have kids, we would probably not adopt an infant. Okay, like an older

kid that can already talk and ship talk comma and ship. Yeah, well hopefully it could be it could ship, you know, otherwise that be a whole other issue where we get this kid you can't ship, doesn't even ship talks, doesn't ship. Unbelievable as kid or kids ships doesn't talk. That we were doing a good thing getting him a little bit later in life. You know what kid doesn't ship? That's yeah,

like three four or five six. And so we recently had Beth Newell on the show and we said to her, like, all right, how many kids she has got to but she gets to expose these kids to culture. And we were talking a little bit before we got on air, and um, Brian foss Y, Um, you know what is the culture that made you say culture is for me? I know you you have a certain love for a certain pop star that we share, right that would be Maria. Would be Mariah. Now I don't know if she's the

thing that the first time I realized. I definitely she was defining that. When we remember watching there was a v h one or MTV Mariah Carrey Versus Whitney Houston music Video Marathon. It was on a Saturday or Son the Great program, and I like I had to mow the lawn that day and like hid in the basement. We're trying to watch this thing, and it was it was great and that was what was that like third grade? But I would say there was similar. It's like culture

to me. Um the first time, I was like, wow, I want to do that. I don't know how. I was probably watching the movie Heathers. And what's crazy is like we didn't have, you know, streaming every time you had to go out and get it. I watched it for the first time on TBS censored, so it was like watered down house, you know, and there's something gently with the chainsaw wasn't in it, you know. It was

like they had all these cutaway shots. And actually I read later that like Shannon Doherty, she had like a stage mom that didn't want her to say any like bad words. I thought you were going to say Shannon Doherty actually improvised of her and I was like there's no astutely not that script is perfect. And the writer for that movie also wrote Batman Returns. And there are things that when I was like a young Galing, I was like, didn't realize. I'm like, Michelle Peiffer is a

gay icon like Catwoman is. I mean, that is such a brilliant for the ages. And even the penguin is so funny in that when they it's so funny. I became fixated with Michelle Phiffer. And then in my room when I was by myself, I pretend someone was pushing me out a window to my dad. I would do that too, like, and then you become a cat. The amount of backflips when she put when she had women, hear me you were and then she just back clips away. Yeah,

Like the amount of backflips is so hilarious. Six seven Good Girls Go to Heaven truly iconic. I would reenact the scene where she yeah, where she would go home to her apartment, and then the cats would all like she basically yeah, yeap, yep, yeah. I mean, so it's it's it's a great game, great game. And Heathers is so smart. And I remember being on a vacation and my whole family was sort of sleeping in. We were visiting family in Long Island, Suffolk County, Bay Shore. Respect

one talent over from growing upping Ice Slip. Actually we might have been an Icelip or West Icelip. Okay, then that's even your girl, No, it's okay. And I like it was the youngest of four. I would wake up early. Remember when that happened. We would like wake up before the parents. And I went over and it was like maybe seven in the morning, and I went into the room and watched Heathers for the first time, the real Heathers or TBS the TBS Heathers, and I was like,

the volume is probably on like one or two. I pulled up like a chair to the screen that watch it. I remember being like, what is this Christian Slater was making me feel things? The writer was making me feel different things. Yeah, I loved it. Wow, that's amazing. That's a very one. Yeah Heathers. I mean yeah, I feel like there might have been some generational that definitely wasn't mine. But I was absolutely infatuated, infatuated with all things clueless.

Like when I first saw Alicia Silverstone, I was like, who the funk is she I was like, I need to know everything about what that is about? Why are they talking like that? She looks like I've never seen anyone look and then styling it being like that's not really what high school kids were definitely not. You know, it's like it is and you know, but apparently they did.

Amy Heckerling who wrote that and directed it, like apparently she did hang out like with those I don't doubt that those kids existed, but their heightened versions of what those kids are. I mean, is there a guy that wears like a nineteen fifties Mattenee idol outfit to school? Like I don't think so, honestly, what was that choice? I think that movie is genius in every way. I remember being truly surprised. It was like the gay friend didn't get that he was gay until many years later.

I was watching it was like a six year old. In fact. I remember they have a euphemism in it, but they and ticket holding friend of Dorothy you know what I'm saying, And I was like, don't know what that is? He's gay And they said he's gay. Yeah That's what I'm saying, Like, yeah, they expec Oh my god, shared the boy Ken dress. Oh my god, I'm totally bugging. All these words meant nothing to me being seven or

eight years old. In the fact of my parents conversion van on a trip down to Florida because we decided to drive that year. Why wouldn't you drive? My sister and I are watching it in the back on the television that was like literally put in the conversion van. And we finished watching it and I turned to my sister, who was like five, and she I was like, I liked it. She goes me too, I want to watch it again right now. And we put it back on and we watched it again, and we didn't get a

second of it. But it was like visual too, which is like a sneaky trick to make it a visual snack. Yes, yes, you've got to have art direction, girl, Rule number twenty eight of culture. Culture tricky snack, tricky snack, tricky snack. Absolutely, that's a new one. That's that's why satire is so like Brilliant and the Trojan Horse. It's like, look at

this thing that everyone can enjoy. But then we're gonna slip in something that Stephen the Cheese see that actually, I think was a cultural high point that year because Clueless was the same year that also Scream came out, and it was these funny, yeah genius, these funny genre heightened stuff that was like really good for so many other reasons besides like how like amazing they hit their genre and like how funny they were, you know what I mean, Like what a good time. I guess, yeah,

that's a fun time to revisit, like and Clueless. I think now you can watch and it's on Netflix and you can watch and it it holds up every time. And the jokes, there are so many jokes. We were living in like a pre Columbine world. It was just the right time in the podcast to bring school absolutely this is like about the time when we talked about

school shooting. I will say, so maybe this is the generation gap, but that was sort of like a big turning point in my high school because our high school was like demographically the exact same as the ones we saw on TV and then the ones and where a Columbine happened, just like suburban mostly white high school and you grew up Atlanta, Georgia, Roswell and there it was like we started to have to have mesh book bags and or clear book bags, and certain clothes like overalls

and trench codes weren't allowed. It was very We talked about this last week because Abra was on and about why you couldn't wear hats, and then one theory that was positive was because you could sneak a gun in a hat. And then Obera goes, well, then what the fund do you do with the backpacks? That and springing in like what about those? I was like, there's no way I'm hiding a gun under my hat. Oh my god. But um, I remember we I was in third grade for Columbine and my teacher made us stand in a

circle and hold hands and sing Jewels song Hands. That is the that is a gay teacher. It might have been one of her worst songs too. I like a pedophilic A little I'm not familiar, it's I know every word. Hands are small, I know. And the video was literally her walking through like a bomb site. Do you remember that? I think Foolish Games is great and that was for one of the Batman's soundtracks. She got bank for that. Oh, Foolish Games is one of my favorite songs of all time.

There's a thing and my standing still Okay, keep going. That is that the title amos one of our songs, but that's I think. I think it's one of her a weaker after I don't know. Up there with she was like, I'm gonna be hot. I will say this is I'll never forget when Jules said that she was pressured into singing like a frog by her record producers, and then when she finally was a star, she could say, I don't want to do the frog voice. Do you

do you remember this? I don't remember. So her first album she does a lot of the who will sure. So she hated going into her head voice and doing that full round sound, and she wanted who will see That's what she wanted to do. She was wrong, because, as we all learned, Jules stopped making good music. Yeah, well, that's actually interesting because you know, there's two versions of

Foolish Games. There's the one that's on the first Pieces of You album, and it's it is it's more classical sounding in terms of the composition of the music, and also she sings it differently, and then they re recorded. I think after the success of UM I want to say it was Batman forever. It was on one it was and Rob No, it was Batman and Freman forever um. But what was her first pick? You were meant from me? So you were Men for me became like huge, I think,

one of the best songs of the nineties. And then after that they kind of like we're like, okay, we have to look at your album again, and they were like, let's make this more commercial, and she re recorded Foolish Games, which was like a big adult contemporary hit, and she did sing it differently and they cut a whole verse out of it. Really, yeah, it's amazing to me that you know this. Oh, I'm a huge for me. It's like I didn't listen to MTV. I I didn't watch

MTV because I wasn't allowed. So I was like, well, I guess I'll watch a v H one. So I was like very familiar with like Leanne Rhymes, Juel and Shania Twain and Mariah Selene like I was into like what the like, yeah, I was and sing And when Diva's Live happened, that was like that was like a huge moment for me. Oh my god, Mariah sing the Wreathaea. That was like Shannia is like introduction to the mainstream. I think that was when everyone was like, oh Shania.

The next year of faith Hill, they brought her in and there it was. I think they were trying to. I think the next year they did faith Hill and Leanne. They were trying to kind of the year. The next year was the big one was Whitney Houston. So the year prior had been like it was like a wreath this night, and then it was Whitney Houston and the young diva they had was Brandy and a faith Hill was on it. Not a fan of Brandy, Well, okay,

so we'll get into that, I get it. But did you know that Brandy is actually heralded by like many R and B singers and like having like one of the best voices of all time, Like I do not agree, well,

her riffs are like statistically on point. Um, okay, but do you hear the advice that Winnie Houston gave to Brandy on the I think it was like, you need to support your notes and she's and Whitney has said it in interviews on camera that that was it was like, so you're performing with this, you know amazing, you know legend. Did she give you any advice? And it was like, uh huh, what advice did she get? It's like she said, I need to, like, you know, be louder and I

need to support my notes. But maybe she's that was a corrective piece of advice and she's now she's belting it out in Chicago. Was terrible in Chicago. Well, not an actress. I think that I think that Whitney wouldn't bother with advice unless she saw something that is a great point. That is a great point. I'm not going to spend this podcast taking down Brandy. I'm on te Monica. Oh oh yeah, I'm Monica all the way. Because Brandy came into that situation of the boy's mind a real victim. Hi,

excuse me, um, can I talk to you? I'm just I'm sorry. And Monica's like, what, bitch, what do you have to say? You're going to say no, no, no, no, no no, no, honey. Brandy was coming into that situation being respectful and you and you cannot twist her to be a victim. Honey. I'm team Brandy in this situation. Why she comes in there, Brandy comes in here with her shoulders hunched and says, when I please talk to you?

For a minute, and Monica says, when she's getting right to it, let's do let's do this because we we've done this before. Let's let's do it word for word. Okay, because I will show you how, Brandy, let's go, let's do it. This is why this excuse me? Can you please talk to you for a minute. M sure you know you look kind of familiar. Yeah you do too. Um, but um, I just want to know do you know somebody named you know his name? Oh? Yeah, definitely, I know his name. Well, I just want to let you

know that he's mine. No, no, so here we go. Let's do a little play by play, Brandy. The inflection point in that exchange is Brandy saying, well, I just want to let you know. I'm asserting to myself. Is that a victim? No, she's saying, I just want to let you know that he's mine. The intro is passive, but then she gets aggressive. Well, here's the deal. When

you listen to it, tell me this isn't true. Before Brandy walked into that coffee shop and saw Monica sitting there, she was in her car doing laps around the place, like, okay, when you go in there, you're gonna say, um, excuse me, You're gonna be played and no matter what you feel, and then you're gonna just assert yourself. You're gonna assert yourself. Brandy and Monica is sitting in there like this coffee is wrong because this is not what I ordered. Excuse me, Hello,

conjecture and that's what makes me. Monica and Brandy and some of us are some of us just Brandy's. I have that. Now, I have that Monica song in my head. I shouldn't make a move, but I won't. I know you're probably thinking something is wrong, knowing if I do that, it won't be right. I want to get down, but not the first night. Yes, I love that. I love that message. Should the second Monica's Monica's Monica. This is my favorite Monica song of all time. Angela. No one

shouts it out. What do you mean? Some me? But no, now you have me gro sho, well stop you show great great vocal He'll tell you something. Great vocals also for you. I will go to the ocean every sign in the night es yes, oh my god, wait what rule number twenty? Monica? Bitch, she doesn't get the credit. No, you know what that sucks. Monica's the best. Yeah, but you know she lives in Atlanta. She's still like a celebrity. Atta girl. I didn't know that Atlanta takes care of

Donald Glover talked about this. What do he saying? He was saying that Atlanta is where it's at right now because they people stay, They moved back there, and they support their artists. That's funny. I recently had a friend moved to Atlanta because he said the work was better there. There's I don't are a lot of opportunities growing up there. It's what is it being called Yollywood? Allywood, Llywood, that's what they call it. That I thought my favorite plan

on Hollywood was Dollywood. I went to Dollywood, all right, So we went in May and recent two things they didn't realize. There's not like dollies walking around. No, it's not about Dolly. It's it's about supporting that. It's about supporting the mountains. And there was a bunch of gay couples walking around that were stone sober, all looking like we'd passed and they'd look you get that icon like we thought this was going to be something else. There was definitely a bit of a trick that said. So

that's one. It's not as much Dolly as I want. They have like one dress store that you can buy things, and that's it. There's no fierce Whigs, no no it. So we're nail pressing. The other thing that is crazy about Dollywood is that there was a look another amusement park like a town over that had like a fire or went bankrupt or something. So Dollywood bought all of

their employees their roller coasters. So Dollywood like twenty years ago, had like five rides and it was mostly like the kitchen, like, oh, there's a folk band and eat some you know, pork rhymes, and that's like part of it. They bought all these insane roller coasters and then filled in every possible inch of Dollywood with roller coasters, and it feels incredibly dangerous and I recommend that did The best part like it was I've never felt like I was going to die

more like a rickety like hill Country roller coaster. There's one called like the Screaming Eagle that that like gave me whiplash and I was just like, I don't know who I would tell what I'm in the middle of Tennessee. There's no alcohol here. I mean it was it was wild. There's no alcohol there. It's a dry ament. I mean that doesn't seem I hate that. Did you ride They have like a nationally recognized wooden roller coaster. They're called Thunderhead.

Did you ride Thunderhead? Yeah, that's like that's like her crown jewel of that park. Yeah. They have a lot of rides in a very small space and so you could do the whole park if you wanted to, in like two hours. Where is this Tennessee? Yeah, it's Is it outside of Nashville, No, it's it's closer to Pigeon. Pigeon And then the fires recently it were in Gatlin. This is the fire as we recent like the acquisition of all these crazy Maybe I'm I'm confusing the recent

fires with the reason the other a part. But yeah, Dolly donated like a thousand dollars to everything by the fire. She's Dolly is truly amazing and also she actually I'm adding her to my bucket list there to see live. I was scrolling around on Spotify and I listened to she They have a concert of hers that she did in London, and it's such a gag because like the last I wouldn't think she'd be popular there. I don't know. I think she's internationally popular. And also there's a lot

of the British love country. Yeah, and also Canadians love country too. You know who's huge in Canada. Still there are the Dixie Chicks. So they still go on huge North American tours, but they just do most of it in North America. Like with Dixie Chicks do a European tours too. Still, I think last year when they were when they were touring last time, well, that's where the controversy happened, was England, right when she said that thing

about George w because it was interesting. So then she came back to the States and everyone was like all fired up and insane. But I think they still do really well. I mean they just did a huge concert at Madison Square Garden that I was supposed to go to. Yeah, last year is right after Landa. What we were going to say something about Dolly she her She has a concert on Spotify. It's like live from London or something.

And what's such a gag is the last seven songs are like huge hits that you can for that like nine to five when you heard the beginning chords, You're like, fuck yes, and but also her introductions and outros of all the songs, Oh my god, I love singing and I've always loved to sing, so it's so right to be here sing with all of you. Here's my next song, and it's just like it's insane. So the Great Dolly's

story real quick. So she came to New York to UH to meet with the Broadway producers for and they like, add dinner. She's like, I love New York City, time spare or whatever. Right, so like, obviously nine to five will be in the show, but we want to have all original music, and she was like, sounds good. Yeah, I'll go back to my hotel. The next morning she showed up with like thirties songs's. They were like what She's like, I just went back to my hotel and

got got to write. And yeah, also there's one song. I hope my friend Amanda Shack is listening to this because we always gag over this song, which is get Out and Stay Out, which is like the eleven o'clock number in that in that musical where Stephane J. Block is just like, I'm not going to be abused anymore, and she kind of she's like the Jane Fonda character. And it's such a fierce like singer's number. Literally the end of it is just this woman like belting her tips.

I'm like, STI, it's just so good. I recommend everyone go. And it's like like fall tips. They one of her tips fell off at the end of the number, and then everyone just it. But I never saw nine to five, and I mean mad because I would gag. I'm a

recent Dolly convert, truly and like. And then I watched like a bunch of her interviews like last year and like her and Barbara Walters, like in the eighties, and Barbara's asking her these truly inane questions like well, what's with all the makeup in the wigs and like, and then Dolly is just like very like measuredly and like gracefully answering everything, and she's I just Dolly's. Dolly's still making jokes about her chest. Yes, she was in a

word show like a week ago. It takes a lot of money to look this cheap, a line now co opted by drag Queen Alaska Thunderfunck. But I mean that as a tribute but of course Dolly is. I just got mad. Second, I was like, like, Alaska watched I watched her YouTube channel with her brother. Yes, um, who seems gayer than Alaska? Right? Is he Gay's supposed they call him Alaska? And so it's a lot of like he said, she said about like what they grew up,

how they grew up and sex practices and stuff. It's cute. Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, God, world of World of Wonder. Did you hear about the tunon Green Lights? So there's gonna be two new shows coming out on YouTube. There's going to be a House of Edwards, which is Elissa Edwards show, also featuring Yes, also featuring Lega Astranga, And it's going to be about She's all set, She's All Stars three. I think, Um, so she's a great story she is, and I think I think things are going

to turn out really really well for her. Um. But it's gonna be House of Edwards with Liganda and Alissa, and it's about them running their dance studio. So it's essentially Dance Moms, but with a Lissa Edwards. That's and it's going to be apparently like all about all the Cookie parents and like their employees, the children I love well she teaches like she teaches like K through eighteen

and they all worship her. And you don't. On Drag Race, there's a few like classic drag queen skills you don't really get to see, yeah, exactly like on the show.

Obviously lip syncing you get to see if you're being kicked off, but there's really like a lip sync challenge, you know, right, Like a lot of the I don't know, a lot of the challenges aren't what these performers do every week, Like working a crowd, like working a room is not something they ever get challenged on doing every now and then they'll do like a stand up challenge

and they'll really some element of it. But you know what's crazy is like, for example, Violet Shoshki, her number one thing is her like aerial sill, and she never did it on the show. So the folks at home are like, why did she win? And it's like, well, we didn't see. It's like people keep saying course, it's course it's and it's like, well, that's not what she

does when shems. She's incredible. David Yeah at a gay barnet Alanna Atlanta Um it was sort of sad because there was like she wasn't in drag he was like, but he wanted like people to still like take pictures with him and stead it is Yeah, it is weird. Um,

what was I gonna say? No, David, previous guest of the show said really, and I think this is a great point, but it's also maybe not feasible, where like the one of the final challenges should be the queens just craft their own live show, but if it means like lip syncing to their own numbers and they would have to like just go through all like the rights

and the ruin. That's the thing is. It's like even Bob the Drag Queen, like you see Bob the Drag Queen live in New York, which we did all the time before he was on the show, like you truly, even after watching the season and knowing how amazing Bob is and Bob obviously won rightfully and earned tons of new fans, you still don't know how fucking good Bob. You still want to tell people still Bob does this

and this and this and this. I have a question for you, Matt, because I know you're an idol American idole savant huge part of my life. So Bob the drag Queen was the fan who who became the winner, right had seen all the That's sort of this sub narrative, who is that for American Idol? Who came in and knew exactly which kinds of songs to flip? You know.

It's it's so interesting with American Idol because that has so much less to do with your creativity and so much more to do with like how lucky you get on the shelf? It was a favorite or not? Could it be like a David Cook? Well, yeah, But the thing is I doubt that David Cook actually watched a lot of it. I think David Cook just just like was given the opportunity to take a lot of artistic license.

David Cook like famously at the time they did a Mariah Carey Week and he was thinking he arranged always Be My Baby, and it was like an emo dark song. And also nobody covers always be My Baby, because how did you do it? I mean, like it's one of those songs. And this is like with a lot of especially without backup singers, like so much of it's about the backup and they say this and they used to say this on the show, and I think I think still for a lot of uh talent shows, they say,

you know, don't do Maria. It's just it's too hard. People are expecting to hear certain notes and if you can't hit those notes. So then was this successful? It was hugely successful. And she was even there coaching them this is before as a and you could tell she legitimately was like really into it. She was like, wow, this is really cool. She might have even said we should put that out. Yeah, and they did and it was a hit, like when they used to release them

on iTunes and stuff, which I was I love. Christie Lee Cook did Forever as a country song. It was said, literally, I like that better than my version that well, because Forever like is a country It's like and it's a country song from like the sixties, you know, it's like Elvis. You know, Um, this is Maria. I just I just want to say this about so amazing. I just want to say this about Mariah. I mean the fact that she was able to like concede that like these interpretations

were like really novel and really great. Um without like I mean, like that's how you know She's like that that's how you know she she cares about the work first and foremost, and it's not about like because even then, even that Mariah which was like two eight or nine, Mariah is like a different Mariah than now like reality stars. She's gonna go two kids to two husbands. Yeah, she's got two props kids famous lean. On the first episode of Maria's World, she was on one yacht while her

husband was on another yacht. So it is so annoying when you can't decide what she ought to be on and then you have to just agree to disagree and go on different yachts, and the yachts drive past each other and you're like, you come to mayacht. No no,

you come to literally that happened. And wait, but Mariah, this is an interesting Like I was listening too, I guess What's the t or something or some interview with RuPaul, and she was talking about how no, no, no no no, like this is like at some point I heard RuPaul say this on during some interview maybe on ther podcast What's the t um and saying, how you know they always want to do Mariah songs as lips things for your life, so they always want to include Mariah in

some way. But you know it's just they will never clear her song because maybe because she has at least fifty percent songwriting credit on every song, it requires her approval, which means emailing Maria here. No way. Can you think she's good with email? You think she gets to you? I think what delicious irony would be if Mariah was like great at email and responded right, yeah, representing herself Okay, yeah, totally looks like actually putting this in my Google cow.

Oh my god. I've I've seen her in concert a few times. It's it's a bummer because so much time spent off stage, and then you think like she's going to come out with like a full mermaid costume with wings, and it's like the same thing with different shots, like famously, like what is she doing back there? And they have this DJ that's like, hey, guys, you remember this Jackson five song? And then he'll play like non Marian music just to keep the crowd going. And it's very much

the R and B crowd that still comes out. My first concert, Maria her first word stepping onto the stage. Do you like the ensemble B versus Maria dress to his dress? As a sailor and the threat of the concert was Bianca versus Maria the first words do you like the ensemble? And for those who don't know, it's from the Heartbreaker video. Bianca is the brunette version of Maria that is evil and they have a fist fight in the bathroom at the movie theater over Jerry O'Connell

for those who don't know. And I mean, this concert was truly bizarre. Talked about it before, but the thing is, um wait, Mariah though she there's there's I guess get I get upset when I talked about because truly, like my life was changed by the Butterfly album. And then also uh, the like the lyrics and the Butterfly album.

You listen to the lyrics and like, yeah, well, my favorite, I think of all one of my favorites of all time is the Roof and I also love Breakdown, Like those are two like kind of deep cuts on that album. And then also she's got this ballad on that album called Whenever You Call, which is so good, and Brian McKnight does a duet and that's even better. I went, I kind of prefer it with just her. And also if Adele recorded whenever you call today, people would be gagging.

But Mariah did that ship literally literally twenty years ago. I know, isn't that insane? And also that's why when people are like truly gagged over like all I ask, I'm like you, guys, Mariah was doing better work than this, inn Like she had these kind of soaring pop ballads with R and B influences in this better voice than Adele. But her brand wasn't the authentic like black and white walking along the river with a trench coat. I mean, that was Adele. That was the someone like you moment.

The video is as important that that song are the granitic tonight. Holy shit, that's insane. Okay, So you you guys are gonna listen to this today when you're to have last night. If that happens, it might happen, and you know it's going to be such a thing like

like that. I mean, the recording industry, they vote right, and they are invested in artists that make money, that make money, and also they want more artists that don't require a ton of production and a ton and so like Beyonce like like to spend so much money on her albums. I mean, every song has a video, like

she doesn't give interviews. I think the machine of it wants an artist like Beck wants an artist like you tell wants an artist who plays all his own instruments, Like they want someone who's it's about the music and

about the recording. I believe that. I don't think. But that's the thing is like I just feel like at this point, like you gotta like and it's so weird to say this about like the contemporary artist who's literally one the most Grammys of anyone, which is Beyonce, but like she should win Album of the Year for lemon You have to have some respect, like, like, have some respect, like Lemonade was it and honestly true everyone honestly and Trump's America. You have to expect Peper is going to

win Album of the Year at the Grammys. The rules are at the door. Because it's interesting. It's going to be very interesting. I blame Bieber for Trump. Oh sure, I think this year. This is my this is my book, right, I'm pitching my book. This past year, we didn't have a Bieber to hate, we didn't have a Miley Cyrus to shock people. For months, there were here's some pop culture stories that happened in two thousands sixteen, and you tell me if they made a splash. Kim Kardashian was

hog tied in her Paris hotel room and robbed. How much did you hear about it while it happened? While it happened, but then it died down after two days? But two days that the biggest like social media reality star was hog tied in her hotel room and robbed in Paris at gunpoint. Both Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom released to like compete with each other because they have a feud over Orlando Bloom's baby mama. That happened this year.

Do you remember talking about this? I mean, keep keep listening, but I I'm gonna Ryan Rock. This was actually one of the bigger ones. But still two weeks Ryan Lockty like vandalized and pete all over a Brazilian gas station and then lied about it and then went on Dancing with the Stars and was almost punched by an audience member. Remember that two weeks and it went away. It's like

we needed a Charlie Sheen this year. We needed a but you know what took up way too much time in respect to all that was when fucking Kim Kardashian released the clip of Taylor Swift in Kanye West phone call. It's like that was a great story. That was I mean, it was it was so satisfying, But that was that was probably maybe one of the bigger ones that and and Beyonce and jay Z did he cheat? You know what I mean, Like that was like a big one too.

But it felt immediately like once her song came out addressing it, it was like, huh, maybe this was all part of the marketing, the marketing ploy. What I'm saying, there wasn't something that felt truly like a train wreck except for the obvious story that we saw on the headline,

you know every day. What I'm saying, we needed like Bieber like got a good album and stopped driving drunk, you know, and like a lot of artists that we are used to having those crazy moments like just but it's like you but it's like nothing can really break through the noise anymore. That's why it all dies down.

Like even and I'll say this, like even with like the whole Trump like piss play dossier that died down after three you know, like it because and the pacing is no one can keep no one can keep it. Like I don't know what the shelf life is anymore

for any sort of like big crazy story. Like we'll talk about it for sure, and they'll they'll be a spike in in in the in the discourse or whatever, but like you can't nothing lives on anymore, and that's that's kind of tragic, Like we can't really like let things simmer and talk about in Saturday is the new normal? And what's going to be the response to that? Like in two thousand seventeen, Like what are things going to be? Like?

Like that's that's that's what's crazy. It's like, are we gonna go back to a time when like things were simpler? Likes like is by Adele like a kind of this is gonna be what things are like now? Like we're gonna go back to a simple time. We just like kind of like have basic ship because you can't expect

to grab headlines anymore with your like insane behavior. Well, I mean there's a you know, the theory of the tipping point, and like if you look at the tabloid culture in the UK, they've always been like a decade or two ahead of us, like what they're willing to do. Like their biggest magazine has topless women on page six, you know, and those those women become famous for a week and everyone's like, she's from Bright and she's one

of us. Look at those teats, you know, and like they've been doing that for years and they've had obviously the super obsessed celebrity culture, and then Prince Diana happened, and then people started to pull back, and then they still entertained it with like the reality show characters and all of those TLC like my eight hundred pound wife who does ballet shows British, they're all from Britain, Like they're just we're stealing from American Idol too, Pop Idol

and X Factor Huge. So I think there's there will be a tipping point. I just have no idea what it is. I never realized that. And I think, thank you, thank you Brian for bringing that true, actual, profound piece of cultural knowledge that was insane right there. That really suck to me right there. Okay, I mean Matt's making a face, but like really just got sucked by knowledge, honestly.

That Yeah, I if you and if you look through history to like there's a liberal time, and then there's a conservative time, and then there's a liberal in culture,

you know what I mean? Like like it's true the sixties and seventies were a thing, and then there was like the eighties and nineties were kind of pulled back and then you know, right now you could argue that in the ofs and what we have now, we've been in a super kind of like very boundary pushing time and you have to wonder are we about to see that return to something else, which is you know, something's interesting? So um, okay, this this is a very fair like

scary question. But let's say someone raided your house says you only get to keep three pieces of culture, books, movies, TV? Oh my god? What do you keep? What do you keep? Well? This is interesting because I am I keeping them for sentimental value? Or am I keeping because I'm gonna use them? Um? And also am keeping them for the apocalypse? Like? Am I Fahrenheit fort these? Or is it just from my house? What do you want people to think of you when they find this ship you were super smart? Or do

you want to be truthful? I think you want to be truthful. We want to be truthful. Let's be truthful. This is a very kind of question I wish I had. Okay, so I will, I will go out of fairness. I want to keep the legend of Zeldacna of time. I want to keep Does that count as a book, movie, or TV? Video game? Okay, so I mean we'll include video games, multimedia, multimedia. Um, I want to I want to keep Lady Got Got born this way. No, I want to keep Fleetwood mac rumors. No, I want to

keep up speech boys, beach boys, pets. The thing is, while you've been making the decision, you unfortunately did burn. Okay, okay, Zel talking your time, beach boys pet sounds and yes, no it's not No, come on, I had a moment in college. It's pretty silly. It's a it's a great what No, I mean I'm saying, it's silly and a good way. It's a silly fun it's even it's a pretty gay um album and uh, I will say, um oh god, uh I can't do this. This is so hard. And then a book. I want to keep a book

just to balance it out. Um, you know what, let's do? Uh Harry Potter, the definitely Hallows and the Goblet of Fire. I was gonna say Harry Potter too, but actually it's what's the most important to me is that people have a misconception to me that I was much smarter than I am. So here's what I would do. I would take Henry's picture that's hanging up in our apartment of Leonard Burns to I would take in Cold Blood by Truman Capode and which I have and it's one of

my favorite books. Four real Knowledge. And then I would um, this is just about image of this. That's not the question, Okay, I'm kidding. Uh, this is a weird one. What's been most important to me that I feel will represent me? Yeah, I would probably grab Butterfly album by Mariah Carry. You must probably like Gobblet of Fire by Harry by Harry Potter, jak Rowlings by Harry Potter, and the Goblet of Fire

because I do believe it's the best book. Shout out to at least Morales, who we did an entire episode of US Cultures that's about Harry Potter, and I probably would bring would would Oh man, it's not useful, but I still keep my um uh like old tickets to

Universal Studios, like my room. Yeah, just like take them with me because I always have this irrational thing like if I ever do show up in Orlando that that I don't have tickets, I can just somehow whip out my old things, my old like park tickets, even though I know you're holding onto them presentimental value, which is which I am a hoarder, though Henry will tell you I'm a full hoarder. There you go. Those are maps three.

This is this is a tough question. It's a weird question, I know, because we have no I don't mean weird, like it's weird that you said it. It's like a weird one because it's hard to navigate. Also, like hard media is are already irrelevant, Like you have all of the media. Like if this person is robbing you, are they also robbing of your ability to watch any movie you want or stream any song you want, Like is it just the thing that you want a hard copy of.

It's also so weird now because you don't need hard copies of anything because everything is so accessible. So you're saying, I mean, unless there's like a backlash, and you know, unless it it's a fair hund for fifty one thing streaming service servers are destroyed. No, no streaming, all right. The book I will keep is the two thousand and sixteen Fall Restoration Hardware Catalog. It's seven hundred pages, it's beautiful.

It's beautiful, and if all goes to ship, I'll still have those chandeliers to work at beautiful um In honor of the Grammys tonight, which will have already happened by the time you hear that, I'm going to say in an Album of the Year, Beck's Morning Phase Scientologists. Beck he was a child of scientology, was Remy and she's still iconique. She's still leading the charge, she's still saving live. But it's the kind of album I could listen to

every day. That's great, it's beautiful. He plays every instrument on it. It's I feel like it's an everyday album. And that if this is what I'm holding onto naked with no furniture in my house after being robbed, I might want that and then like the piece of like film or this is hard film or TV Heathers. Sure, I'll take it, yeah, Heathers on DVD. Now I'm fixated on the fact that the Grand Research tonight, and you guys, we just want to go see Marion Morris nominee for

Best New Artists. Do you know Mary Moore? Yeah? Church Yes. And also eighties Mercedes one of the best pop soil Eighties Merseidies, Yeah, I love it. And also the Miranda Lambert um Like Triple album that she put out this year was very good, very good. I've been listening to that a lot. There's a song called in My Pink Sunglasses. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard of that. I've heard anything Miranda. I want to love more than I do. This album turned me. This was the Bill Compton to

My Sulky stack House. That's a little Matt Rogers. Oh my god. I was so with I think I got my wisdom teeth out and was on heavy drugs and the congratulations, thank you, my life has never been better. No more cares. Recommend everyone gets them pulled. Seriously. I always thought it was Kenkare because my mom is from Yea. Um no, man, if you if you want to fucking fuck yourself, then then on heavy drugs. Get on heavy drugs, not just get on HBO now or HBO go and

watch True Blood. Oh my god, I was I love Ani Paquin first two seasons. I only watched the first two seas. I don't recommend the show to people because it doesn't get better as it goes. But we were Mark and I are needed an escape show and we were asking around everyone's like, Yetta watch the wire, like we don't want something, So we actually picked up this is This is too dark to its it's real too. He literally has like a math there's in public health.

Like he's like studied, like you know, statistics of poverty. Like this show is not going to be an escape from there. Like, but we picked up Penny Dreadful. It is for sure mixed, but it is an escapist show with supernatural characters in Victorian England. It is true Blood meets down to Abbey Josh Harten. It's in it but

you see is but yeah, and but I heard. I mean like, I have a screen cap website that I go to every now and then called superhero fan dot net god where they screen cap the nudity of the week. Although the guy that runs it has been slacking and there hasn't been any There was one called one of these like tumbler type blogs called Square Hippies. Yeah, I remember it, and it was like the guy just like curated cute guys from television the moment they take their

shirt off, not much more. That's exactly what this is. And it's like weird that I like, we have literally all the porn in the world and that all that website is more appealing because like it or not, there is something about seeing a celebrity and a real person. Yeah. Well, this guy that runs this website superhero fan dot net um he um plug. I don't know who the he's like. He's like he's like some like lonely gay like that

made this website. I just want to say, what a misleading I think it probably started out like pictures of Brandon Ralph, but it became does anyone remember Brandon Routh? Brandon a motherfucker to Aaron Jackson made this joke about that that woman on Survivor but Brandon mouth. Just remember who Brandon Routh was? Keep going. They tried to ye

that couldn't happen. But the last update this guy did on the website was a picture of Chad Michael Murray like shirtless around and then you see Chad Michael Murray's but which is like such a thing you wish for when you're like fourteen years old, and now that you see it, you're like, okay, Cinderella story. What what he like? He had like sexual power over every teenager in the world. Absolutely, he had full dominion. And now it's like there's no

capital there anymore. Yeah, I feel like that a little bit. Jesse McCartney didn't have that moment. He tried real hard, but he went sexy so fast, and I guess we're okay with like you know, Selena and Ariana doing it with mass different. But then it's sort of like shocking because he still looked like a kid. He was like I'm wearing a suit. It's like whose cousin's wedding? Are you going? Well, what didn't work for Jesse McCartney did work for Justin Bieber, and Jesse was about being sexualized.

Jesse was a little precursor, was like a little experiment to be like, all right, we're going to test it out here. It's funny because like the perfect funk boy. Yeah. So the aesthetic though, is like he's not I mean, he worse. He can wear a suit, but that's not his look. He's still like active where it's like I'm bleaching my hair, I've got tattoos. Yeah, it's like I

don't know. And he's not trying to look adult in terms of sex symbols though, we're truly settling for Justin Bieber, like I'm not come on, it is not that good. And those pictures are full on retouched. You know who's actually doing a no, not the dick pick I'm talking about, Well, his shirt potos, He's like, um, what's Mark Warlbert Kevin Klein ads are ridiculous good angles. Yeah, I mean lots of were touching. But you know who's kind of assumed that position now is Nick Jonas? I think who works

for me? Man? But Joe Jonas is trying to get in there too, and that's not what Joe has an eight pack and no one cares Joe's an a pack, but his whole frame is like not right, he has an aid pack because it's drawn on people. He looks like fucking Aladdin. He's as much of a cartoon as a Laddin in those pics, which he makes sound like

a bad thing, which is not a bad thing. A reason why we shouldn't listen to Network notes because he was the one they put their money on they were like he's the star Nick will like, you know, have the floppy hair, and and then there's Kevin and but then Nick when Nick came up, but like it was like, oh it turned out Nick had like the real talent, he actually liked. Um, how long we've been talking? Keeping turned out like Nick had the you know, the fact,

the X factor, the hook that got people interested. And I think, I mean, yeah, well someone's on the star you can tell. I think I think that it was pretty obvious, you know who's a star who's making a comeback. And I can't even get through that sense without laughing. But um, one, Aaron Carter came out with a new EP this weekend. Trump supporter or Aaron cars the support, I don't care. You know what he's he's he is not a bad single from this past year. I haven't

even attempted to listen to Aaron Carter. I thought you were going to say, Mandy Moore, Well, Mandy Moore I will always stand for But this is us she's doing. That's what I'm saying. Like, but like, now are people taking full on serious? How mad you think? Like? Is it?

Zachary Levi? Zachary Levi who was entangled with her Tangled, and then the next year Frozen became like a billion dollar I don't think the movies are that different, but the mommy blogs pushed Frozen so hard because it was not as romance stories about sisters and that sisters, and it was a news story. It wasn't just Rapunzel. That's true. A lot of people didn't know the snow Queen. Maybe people in Denmark that story. You're right, it was a new story. But to me is like someone who doesn't

have kids, like, they don't seem that different. I think the music is betteran Frozen interesting, like obviously that song is so catchy for little girls, like all my nieces can sing every single word and they don't know how to like wipe their button. But I will say, if I were Mandy or Zachary, I would be hating myself.

I mean, if it's any consolation to Many or Zachary, what I think if you're listening to Mandy and Zachary Tangled as narratively a tighter film, I think, whoa Matt and I can disagree on, you know, we'll agree to this. I just feel like, I don't know we talked about this several times, but Frozen to me, frozen Like people that listen are gonna be like, oh my god, again they're going to talk about Frozen, But like, Frozen to me, is there's something about it, like the way there's something

about Nick Jonas. Frozen is a star Jonas of the Disney canon. Absolutely, we talked about Bieber and I wanted to find this picture. So Brian is fully showing us a picture of Biber in the water with his little dong out. So he released this the week after Orlando blooms. Weird, Katie Perry wake, I mean that's definitely his dick. That's definitely him. Did he release this and then the week later he let that happen? I mean this is a post photo. Absolutely, he's in like a lagoon with the sun.

It's a healthy cock, you know what I mean. Like, it's not, it's not not it's not a bad dick. I'm looking at this and I'm like, we there are better ones out there, better dick, but just better like stars with who can just like like or when old the whole Orlando thing came out, I was like, great because because we all I want to say, I feel comfortable talking about this because it is so obviously staged. Yes,

it wasn't stolen off of his phone. No, yeah, I mean yeah, but yeah, the Orlando Bloom thing, it's when he's literally dick out, like his dick was literally it was so bizarre. They're both so fucking weird. And also this new Katy Perry's song. Oh right, we didn't talk about Katy Parry, you guys. And she's gonna perform it night. I mean, she'll be there. The first few notes, I was like, oh, is this like a fun eighties song? There was like a like a piano synth drops the

fucking ball. The first I heard it, I really didn't like it, And then yesterday I did find myself listening to it more. It came on in an Uber. It came on in an uber pool on my way home, and I was like, I hate myself. Barbara last night said she loves she loves it. That's well, okay, we'll take that into account. But I was in an Uber on the way home two nights ago and it came on. I was like, oh, this sound's catchy, and then I realized it was Katy Perry. Changed to the rhythm what

it hate? And also chained to the radiator. Yeah. Also when you listen to the lyrics a little bit, is it hinting that it's a little bit political. Yes, we're living in a bubble, bubble like when you talk about

the bubble. And also now I mean, oh, I mean I've I've quoted this on the pot in the past when she performed at Hillary's benefit concert every US city, that favorite story she just because every because Audrey Day was there, Elton John was there, um, and they all sort of had moments in their sets where they just talked about how great Hillary was and they've made very cogent,

you know, uh statements or whatever. And then Katie, I guess, decides she had to sort of get in there too, and she just in the middle of her set, stops and tries to sound political and fails catastrophically. She goes, don't you know when you have the blueprints that you have to know how to build the house. You need to know where you're putting the bay windows, and like

that's the bubble right there. So anyway, Um, Katie's in your campaign messages when you're building a house and you need blueprints and the degree in architecture and she's like, this is how we're going to get this. Mite have to talk about when you construct the house and get

bay windows. My friend has a theory about Katy Perry is that she doesn't think, like whenever she's interviewed, what's your favorite song, it's never the song that it should be, you know, Like her best selling song is et Extraterrestrial featuring Kanye West. True story. Now, part of that is because she had like five singles in a row and had the momentum and that was like the fifth one, right, But she thinks Wide Awake is the Katy Perry. It's

a good song. I don't think it's These Awake. I wish you'd come out right, Henry, You're a Man did a piano version on Instagram today of the one that Got Away. Oh, I haven't seen it yet, and like, I think Katy Perry Henry's dream is why do We is like to me, it's like Selene Later Celine Dion. It's adult contemporary, it's overproduced, it's vaguely inspirational, like walking on Air. That song. I think Katy Perry wants that to be Katie Perry and she'll do roar. She just

didn't she just but that's like the hook. What she needs to understand is that when she takes herself more seriously, we're out, We're out. We don't we don't want that. We literally want you to shoot whip cream out of yours. And she's pretty funny, I will say, Yeah, she's got a great sense of humor, and when she's tongue and she can like kind of blown up and like whatever I mean, I do want to see her enter a

stadium riding a huge lion like that. To me, is Katie Perry her first two songs where You're so gay and you don't even like poise and I Kissed a Girl and I liked it. She had a point of view. Definitely, she might have lost the narrative and teenage dream. The album like really heightened that and like blew it up all the And even when she was taking herself seriously, you could still laugh. Like but now it's like I think in her effort now to become more adult and

take herself more seriously, she's become more washed out. And look this perfect example. Oh no, who even remembers rise Um. It was the worst part of the d n C was when she's saying it. Yes, it was like lost tell the election, Lost Tellery the Election was Rise by Katy Perry, which was meant for the Brazilian Olympics. Now they said no, literally, I don't think Portuguese, but I'm

guessing it's just Spanish. Um. But like, I feel like you could say the same thing about Gaga maybe, like maybe she was taking herself a little too seriously, and but then when she came out with this video for John Wayne this week, it was return to form for like this goofy crazy. And I said this last night

to to Sam when we were out last night. The reason I'm wearing a Taga shirt right now, the reason I love her so much and I will always stand for her and Shares because there are goofiest pop stars. They are goofy, goofy like Madonna has never been like she's been. Madonna has been like cheeky, tongue in cheek, but she's never been like a goofy, funny pop star and mean, while Gaga and Share just like just uh ru. Paul says, the fear of your fear of looking stupid

is holding you back. Gaga and Shared do not have that fear and John Wayne like for a second, like every now and then dip back into that, you know, very I like a million reasons though, I love it, and everyone so shaded a million reasons and I'm like why, I don't understand. I think it's so good. I think it also speaks volumes that it is one of it's

one of the most covered songs of hers. Yeah, already every time you walk into the Duplex and Henry's playing, I literally walked in and there was someone singing A million reasons. I was like, yeah, this is a song, this is the song of other people want to sing it. I mean that's like you take the Beatles as a great example of like awesome songwriting. It's like the Beatles song the records probably in a thousand years, like, no one's going to be turning on heyge dude, but they

are going to be aliens like my old dude. Yeah, I do aliens and and bad British. I would say, Brian and like Portuguese. With the Portugese was that the Brian should put on a whole live show with aliens singing Earthling covers. Yeah, it'll be totally in the dark and you just stand on stage and you'll just do your Thingum, I love it anyway, I'm not I'm not a fan of this new Katy Perry. I am a huge fan of Lady Gaga returning to what I think is so special about her, which is her full on whacko.

Can I just say I don't like songs that describe a fun night rather than just being fun, But I like that Last Friday Night does both. Right, That's okay, I take it back. I like Last Friday Night. Don't I love California Girls? Teenage Dream Eats a Grower. It's pretty good. Deep cutting from that of the Hummingbird heartbeat. Yeah, there's a there's a nature science motif and not like

the movies. I like the movies famously. When Bowen and I were talking and he's singing not like the movies, and it became clear that he thought the song was about sex, it didn't fit. It wasn't right. He thought it was about penetration. And I was like, I was like, wait, do you think this is about penetration and not someone putting a ring on a finger? And he was like, it's about penetritions about sex. I was like, that's disgusting.

And no it's not. There are things you say for someone you love and look, maybe it works on both loves. He put it in me. He put it in and it had a ticket out. It was too big. I want to know, what are you watching? These are like them? I will Superheroes dot Net. I turned around. We're recording here, and I turned around and was gagged. Netflix is on the TV in the background, and can we gag for a second about Santa Clarina Diet Clarina Diet. Oh my god,

are you guys gag? Are you excited? I haven't gotten a chance to watch it yet. I heard it's disgusting. I heard like, it's so graphic and gory. It's about cannibalism. Yeah, I heard, and I heard the first scene is literally her throwing up everywhere. And I can't I literally can't do it. And I was like, why did you do that? Oh show with Drew Barrymore. Of course I want to watch it. Of course I want to watch Timothy Olifan. He's so Yeah, he's great, and he's a great talk

show guest. Really one of those guys that's just totally winging it. I love that, you know who crushed on the Tonight Show. The other night, Clarendanes rushed and on the Tonight Show and then did a sketch and I was like, where's snel asking Claire James, the host, because

this woman is a sketch. We're not going to I'm a fan of the talk shows that just interview them and like Conan, I love, like, I love, just like just interview that Matt trade, Matt uttering the words, you know who crushed it on the Tonight Show Claire Danes and I just did not want to get into that at before you guys, I'm a fan of the show, and it sounds like you are maybe shilling for Jimmy Fallon right now that he's a fan of the show, and I'm just going to call it out right now

that I think you're better than that. Thank you so much, Bryan. I agree. I just want to say, Jimmie, if you're listening, um, thank you for everything that you've done. I think that you really bring a lot of personality and effort Festens to late night. So, I mean, the only one I truly watch regularly is Sam Be but it's both. And the rumor is that Conan's going weekly as well. I think that's that's that's confirming, and I think it's it's gonna make his show that much. I think that's a

good move. Yeah, great move, because I it is appointment television for me to watch the NB alrightay, so let's move on to I don't Think so Honey. Yes, okay, So I don't think so honey. Brian has come in today with a list of topics now and I don't want to hear them. I want you to pick the one, which one that you think is the best now for our listeners who maybe a little bit unfamiliar and then literally under rock. I don't think so honey is the centerpiece,

the cornerstone of our show. It is, um, it's it's amazing, and it's where our guests and ourselves would take a minute to rail against something in culture that is really, you know, making us, uh wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of an absolutely and we have to fully take it down. You have to say I don't think so honey as many times as possible while also being natural about it. And um, there's a lot

in store for I don't think so honey. But let's let's just say that and uh, I think it's time. Are you ready? Brian brought Bowen. I'm ready. Would you like to go first? But I can go first. I mean, look, this is what always happens. I've noticed this. I always go first, keep it very measured, and then um and then Matt. Will you know just by all means telegraph what's about to happen. Okay, well, maybe maybe make it

less fun for everyone listening. Okay, um, all right, I think I'm just ready to say I'm ready to go. Oh um, alright, I have one in it on the clock for Bowen yangs. I don't think so, honey, and it starts No, I don't think so, honey, sweet green honey. I am watching my Macro's right now because I am trying to eat more protein and cars, but trying to cut out fat. Not completely cut it out, but hear

my macro breakdowns. Two grams of carbs, two hundred, two hundred grams of protein, two grames of carps, six two games of fat. Everything on your menu has fat, and you try to pass yourself up as a healthy salad restaurant. No, bitch, you're all Your salads have so much I'm talking fifty

grams of fat. Can you believe that? I don't think so many speak green trying to just calm the American public and to walk into your fucking restored wood bullshit salad restaurant spaces and think, oh, look at this rad tie salad. This was not a fun play on words, because we're fucking basic like that. I don't watch your rat tie. I don't watch your spicy sapsy. I don't want your seasonal fucking falafel salads. And I don't think so, honey. I don't think so honey. I don't want this boogie

ass salad experience undercutting my quest for nutritious food. Honey, I don't think so honey, sweat green. You are a forest and I'm see right through you, bitch. That's one minute. Oh my god, I think they're gonna close. I think they're gonna close. I think that's one of my best I think that that you should be very proud that I did not prepare that, but I don't. It came to me within the last two minutes before we were came to you, and you knew, yes, that's what you

had to do. You. I don't think so, honey about God yes, God, God, alright, I'm proud of you. How what do we think about sweet Green? I've literally never been in my life. I have the app, and I am okay with spending seventeen dollars on a salad that that's the other thing, and then five times dollars on an infused iced t No, thank you. I don't think so honey. All right, I gotta I gotta say that was very effective. I have one. Okay, great, and I'm

gonna put women in o'clock for Matt Rodgers. I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. I don't think so honey. The new version of Beauty and the Beast sung by Ariana Grande and John Legend. Bitch, No, I don't think so honey. With your fucking cassio keyboard sound effects in the back, you better hire real musicians, Disney, I don't think so, Honny. You've done this before. You know what it is like to be on the top of your game. Why then, why why do you give us this bullshit,

this garbage. Someone tell Ariana Grande to use her diction and crunch her fucking consonants. You can't understand the words, You cannot come to me after Angela Landberry slays the gig in the early nineties and Piebo and Celindi on to give you an iconic pop version and give me this garbage. Obviously, Ariana Grande and John Legard, we're not in the same room when they recorded the violin sound fake. Keyboard sounds fake. It's something a keyboard, not a piano.

Give us Disney magic. You're losing a Disney You only care about the bottom line. You need to do this right. I'm serious. It's a shame that you keep making these Disney remakes when you haven't figured it out. You're missing something. Fuck you. I don't think so, honey. I don't think that's one minute. Wow, Matt, I think you nailed it. I mean, what happened to Pebo? Can we talk about Peeble?

He nailed that? Well, let me. I just feel like we're headed into a catastrophic thing with this Beauty and the Beast remake. The dolls are any indication God Lover, but you know there's dolls. I just God lover. But Emma Watson, like these snippets of her singing, they don't sound good and it's like she was supposed to be

in La La Land. You know this right that she was offered the other one someone I think they would have I think that it's a good thing they didn't do that because I think they would have hated each other. Oh sure, and the movie would have been bad. I love Emma Watson by it, like you know what it's there's no shame and just I guess, um, I don't know, having someone else sing it, this is a roller coast.

Oh yeah, having like Natalie wodding it you basically, like I guess, I mean, or just like, do hire someone that can sing there out there expect and you know, La Land is one thing. I've given m Stone a pass for not being the best singer in the world, but like this is this is like and you know you can guarantee the movie is gonna hit less hard when you hear these songs sung much worse than we're used to, Like, it's such a shaming because there were

there really was so much promise. And Matt, you've been on a documented on this podcast. You've been on a roller coaster with this movie. Honey. I'm excited about it. I was excited about it, but now I just can't ignore every sign being bad like she does not Emma does not sound good. She doesn't sound good. They didn't make any effort to make it sound like it wasn't

sunk through a fucking refrigerator. Like and also, I'm sorry, but when when the New Beauty and the Beast remake, the pop version sounds and it's like and all of a sudden you hear like ding ding ding ding and it sounds like an effect on a Cassio keyboard. I'm like, no way, yeah, sure, it's just so unless it's deliberately a throwback to that sound in the nineties. So the point where I might not even so did they go with Dan Stevens because he was like affordable? Is he

the guy playing the Beast? He's playing the Beast is because he's a British accent. He's definitely, He's definitely super handsome and talented. But I think, yeah, maybe he was Legion's show. Disney only cares about the bottom line. You see it in all their products now. It's so disappointing. You see enough theme parks Switch are now officially malls. You see it. I mean they used to they had this really kind of classic um little coffee shop on Main Street, USA, and the magic in them. It's now

a Starbucks that's real. Um yeah, it's just it sucks. And it's also of like you know they action fairy tales until they stopped making money. Yeah, there's no like and let's only do the good ones. It doesn't matter how good they are, you know, expect the little isn't made like the most and it was a bad it was horrible. It made the most money like it made Angelina Jolie like an it reaffirmed her A list movie stars. Yeah yeah, yeah, but but I mean it wasn't good

and it could have been good. It could have been great. Alright, it's Brian Foster's time and I don't think so, Honey, I cannot wait for this. This is going to be and you've got to make a decision, Brian. I think Brian's gonna I think no matter what, Brian is gonna gonna do great. And not to not to put too much pressure, um, but here we go. This is Brian, not to put too much pressure. But we did just do two of our best I don't think so. Honestly, that was really great. Now this is gonna be great.

And look we're gonna. You better believe Matt and I are going to gasp. And this is also the chance so you're I don't think so honey, to go out on history and potentially be animated. I want that. Okay, here we get to see by Lou Crouse. Here we go, Brian Foss. I don't think so honey. Time starts now, all right, I don't think so honey about adult birthdays. You're not a child, Okay, why do you deserve cake? If you are a good person, your friends will be

nice to you every single day. You shouldn't get this magic wand where it's your birthday. So if you say I want to go to a ninja theme sushi restaurant, you get to have all your friends show up and and throw down two dollars for your fucking birthday. How old are you? You should stop celebrating birthdays. You should

have friends that treat you nice. And guess what if you're turning forty, I'm not gonna fly in to the fucking Kira saw Dutch colony and and and like these are the same people, by the way, that make you know, put on a birthday crown and like march around like everyone suddenly in their slave that the same people that bitch about destination weddings. It's like, you have a destination wedding every single year and I have to like come

up with some excuse to like not go. And then there's sort of like there's that moment where they're like, well, I think I'm gonna open presence in front of people. It's like I didn't know that. What I mean, my present should be your presence. Fuck your birthday, you're grown up. Oh that's one minute. Wow, my gosh. You know what I think that people that take them birthday seriously, and it's not a bit I actually think they're crazy. It's one thing. I mean, look, I'm be at this bar,

come on by, let's get drunk. I'm about that any night of the week. But this thing where like I literally texted friend like let's go see John Wick and then he bailed. But okay, can we just point out, just for context, yesterday was Brian Post's birthday. Keep going and it's thank you. It's one of my least favorite days of the year. I'm like, beholden to acquaintances texting me saying happy birthday, and you have to text back.

I feel like I'm like, this is not anyway. So randomly this week I wanted to go see John Wick. Two friend bailed. I saw him in person and he was like, why didn't you tell me it was your birthday? I would have gone. And that's by this point what I said, Look, you had something going on. You had like you didn't bail because you didn't want to see the movie. Your one now is this Karmen Christopher Karmen.

And he said, but look, I'm on your boys. If it was your birthday I would have canceled my other thing to show up Karmen impression that ene one of your boys. Look, I'm one of your boys. We love Karmen. But Karmen, though this is not just specific to Karmen, because I probably would have. Everyone feels that same way where they're like, oh, the obligation factor, there you go. But it's Brian saying if you're a good person, then they're gonna want to see down with two with you

no matter what you know. I guess I'm a great person then, because I literally went on Facebook and so fifty people have written on Brian Foster's a well happy birthday, and I was like, oh, Yeah, I'll talk to him later. Yeah, I mean it's not this is this is what Brian is getting. This book is sort of ruined birthdays. But that's a whole other story. I'm talking about the we can get into it big performative aspects of adult birth Oh.

I think it's the stupidest thing in the world. And when you when people get mad that you didn't do go out of their way for their birthday, it's like, you gotta be fucking And there's a thing that millennial girls do, and I don't want to say millennial like a dirty word or gendering girls. They post pictures of their friend on their birthday to prove that they are close to them. And I feel like that is a that is not exclusive to millennial girls. That's a millennial

gay thing too. Yes, it is a power move because you're afraid of this friendship. Like the subtext is like the birthday, the birthday power. Now great. I love celebrating people, you know, famously love Langon Kingsley's fifty one Gay People after Orlando. She did not continue made the list, never made the list either. She got through what three people. Um, It's like Josh Aaron Brandon her gaze, you have forty something more people to celebrate like, she's got a long

way to go. I'm all about celebrating people, and we fortunately in an industry where we can always like say I love your video, that was a great song to your new paint thing is amazing, and we have this opportunity. And I realized regulars um don't, and so maybe birthdays occupy that space. But it has turned into like a pageant that is like it's like, you don't it's the thing I like, well, it's my birthday weekend, or it's my birthday week, it's my birthday month. I had someone

that's like, it's my birthday month. Surprised me, it's my birthday month. It is a very basic thing to do. I will say this, the posting the photos and like the tribute, maybe I went too far with that and I don't think I think there's there's a grain of there's definitely a grain of truth to that. But like when Matt when when Matt, when it's Nott's birthday, you best believe I will post I always go in for Bowen's birthday, end Sud's birthday. Well, here's the thing I

will go to my people, your best friends. You have pictures of each other, and sometimes you're like, I don't know what to put on Instagram, and so when the birthday pops up, you're like, oh, now I have something fun to put celebratory. There you go. It's the it's the things that feel like just obligation. I had a friend where I saw him only at the only time we hung out was at his birthday. And on the third time, I was like, I don't think we're not friends.

I'm only seeing you once a year. And as the same, you know that fucking bar Hotbird everyone has their birthday at because there's like a fire pit in the backyard and it's in the part of Brooklyn that no one can say what neighborhood it is. Yeah, and everyone's like birthday a hot Bird. I was like, if I have to go to Hotbird one more time to like pay my respects to the birthday king, I will kill I do not think so. I don't think so, honey. This

isn't it. This is real, This is it. This is my birthday is coming up, and I never know where to have it too, And it puts the onus on you, like figure out what's central for everyone? We had my birthday, Matt, what are you doing for your birthday? Can invite? And literally I panicked last year because a few years before I had had my birthday Union Hall and it was during the week and so it wasn't crowded at all.

And then last year my birthday fell on a Saturday, and I was like, We're going to Union Hall and it was so crowded, and I was the first to show up and I was the first person. I was the only person there for the first half hour. And I'm like, I don't even really like being here when it's this crowded, and it's this crowd yeah, I would come.

I had to fucking travel for it. Again, if you turn thirty, if you have like an event and you want to like make it fun for the people coming, and and sure plant things like I'm gonna have it at my house this year. Also, I will say this, I realized this and my most recent fort accounting it's not my parents, my most recent birthday, I realized it was lovely, uh lovely. Great people came. It was so nice to see everybody. But then I also felt like

I didn't have enough, like actual face time with anyone. Yeah, you can't. You never can can You're making the rounds if if if it's your birthday, you're making the rounds. And it's like, truly not it can be better. There's there's gotta be something better. So anyway, you know what, I get stuck talking to like a friend from a different group, right, You're like, so, how do you know Bowen? Yeah?

And it was okay, and why are you cool? And then always that person that shows up and like love you for showing up, But that person that shows up, and it's just like, oh no, am I gonna have to like maybe said this person a little bit because like I can tell they don't know anybody. Yeah, And then I have a few friends who love them. They like want to rage. They're like, it's your birthday, I'm buying you drinks, and it's like I have a drink.

I will, I'll have the right amount of drinks. I've never had trouble like, but it's the thing with like, no, we're going to make a fool out of you, this extra attention. Everyone has their own version of it, but it is I think it's childish. I think I nailed it two years ago when I just invited like seven people to go out to dinner. That's cool. When we went to Tall Day that one time, that great. Yeah, it was just fun. It's Tall Day. Can I ask an expensive restaurant you know it's it airs on the

side of like a little bit nicer. I wouldn't say, it's it's like family style. I went to your friend's birthday, get this getting it had like a sign seating No, that's unacceptable. And I was put at like the side of the table without the people I knew. I just don't and also on the upper west side, and I

wanted to climb up the wall. Is the thing with weddings too, though, don't make it hard for people socially, Like like, I get that it's about you, Like if you want to make your birthday about you, sure, but like, don't make it weird for other people. I hate the assigned seating thing. I went to a friend's wedding at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens this past year and it was definitely sad at like put at the boring couple's table

and I knew it. And guess what, I didn't sit there did a chair to the fun singles dummy, Like I see what you did. I love it. You got to spread people around. But like I was, like, it's a party. This is supposed to be a party, you know what. I guess that's what it is. If you're gonna assigned at least people were the fun people. And every when I got wedding, I've been to the probably with the finn people. So thank you to all the weddings. Of table you're at becomes the fun table by that girl.

That's a little bit true, all right, you guys, And well what a good I don't think funny because it promoted a conversation. Yes, that was a troop seedling. That was a master a culture rest true culture and what I lost? Culture restas episode Absolutely, guys, Brian, what day is ding Dong? Ding Dong's February February? It's Oscar's weekend Friday, So ding Dong are co hosting a pre Prectors Oscars party Domins a little that's a sexy boy, I've heard,

I've heard. I can't tell by his pictures, but I'll keep looking and see if it finds so many sexy little straight boys names. But you know, well, name names off the air you know, we do. There's more of them, their chances are higher. You know what. You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. We're not thinking about all the unsexy straight people. Sure, we're not thinking about You're not thinking about you. We don't think about you. Boys.

Um uh, this is this has been so great, Brian, Thank you so much. Set at Ding Dong and we'll see Brian soon. And you know what, for everyone listening at home, there's a big announcement coming where we can announce I'm going to say, but we'll announce them. But there's a big announcement coming. Yeah, oh my god, Brian, where can people find? Alex just freaked out a little bit? I know, yeah, yeah, yeah, we just gave him such a heart attack. But no, but I must saying what

the anounces is. I'm just saying it's coming. Okay, what's coming in a way is ruining the announcement? Who knows? No, it's not. You'll be gagging when you're here. You can find me Instagram, Brian Fostagram, Snapchat What Brian FoST snap Twitter is Brian underscore fast? Facebook? Sure you follow me on Facebook two if you want Wow do it. I recommend that I love so media. It's fun. Yeah, it's great, right and all right? Yeah, this has been Bowen Yang,

Matt Rogers. You know what, I have a great day. I have a wonderful day. Enjoy the Grammys. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsay, and Brett Boum. For more podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Productions dot com.