"Choppin’ It Up!" (w/ Jon Gabrus)

doesn't draw for some people. No, But I'm about to say, like, I cannot with these gorgeous these young girls, these gorgeous baristas who spend like twelve minutes on an espresso cocktail. It crazy, who whatever? But we will say this, if you work in service in l A, you are drop dead gorgeous? Is that? Because they're all trying to be models, actress you know, the glamorous roles in entertainment. The producers.

The producers are the hottest people in Hollywood. This is something that you don't know about about l A. You get here and it's the producers who have the star quality. And how can you tell that their producers? Because they're hot. This is fake. But the other day I saw Kelly Quocum on the street. Now this is fake, but this is fake. But next to her was her producer and oh my god, she made Kaylee Kuoko look like a dog. And this is fake and this is fake. Um okay, listen,

but you know what's real. You make me feel my hoty real because I feel validated. Yes. And speaking of money, well, first of all, what a great segway, m h. I commend you on your segway. I get myself a seven seven, but if you're over A qualifies is great. Yes. Um, oh my god. Speaking of Mighty, we love him. He's the host of the High Mighty podcast. Ah he is. Oh my god, I didn't even realize I did that. You didn't, but there you go. He didn't even realize

your own segway. If you can't realize your own segway, how now, how are you going to realize? I got an amen? Amen. And he's a co host of Race by TV gorgeous podcast with ms lap and oh and and this guest. And we had a little key Key had a dressing rooms at Cluster Fast. Truly, what a beautiful moment. We were a dressing room neighbors. Yes, and I always feel a connection to our guests because of our long island roots and culture, your culture, and so

please welcome Amy. So let's talk politics at Uncle Chuck. Yeah, Uncle tell us, come on, let's get real. Our guest today is John Gabriel. Oh, guys, thank you so much. Listen having me on despite my inability to get laptus in the room. Let's stop. It was not about that, but but but Laura Labkis was a busy girl this week. You're telling me, you're telling me it's a nice reminder what the career is supposed to be like. But can

I put you on blast? Please? So we were in the dressing rooms having a key key and then I know exactly what that is. It's a hangout. I was gonna ask what John, I was gonna q is it spelled q I q I? So I wish it was. That's like more LGBT. It's more wo. I forgot the queue. Damn it's key I can't. Yeah, it's it's less interesting. Well, I guess you should give the definessition. A kiki is a party Wait what really? Kiki is a party for calling all your we're spilling tea and giving just deserts.

It's when people hang out together and they talk like old friends call it chopping it up. Are you serious? Some people call that chopping it up, choping like to get on last culture East isn't chopping my buds. But I love it. I love it as I'm at the water fountain in high school and and John Demos is walking over to me calling me a fagot like this is where it's. That is the masculinity, that is like a pall, and I feel comfortable. This is, by the way, my move though is to do podcasts like this so

I can feel masculine. I got called a fag at the water fountain too. Yeah, I was straight and just at older. Let me just explain why how I'll put John Gabrison blast right now because lap Gust was at a rehearsal working hard, and you got a text from lap Gas. I said where are you? And he was like, I'm having a Kiki with the girl. I'm chopping it up. I'm stopping it up with the boys. I'm having some greyhounds with last we were drinking greyhounds. We earned it.

I had a little screwdriver. I don't know about you, guys. I think I think I technically had a screwdriver with some soda water. I think Greyhound is grapefruit juice, right, yeah, technically yeah. Yeah. As you can tell by my low level of attractiveness, I've never been a bartender our barista here. Don't don't you do that? Don't you do that? Are you kidding me? You're prized you'd be. I can show you my d M S right now and tell you that I have a fandom of the club in there.

Really you know the deal? Okay, So how does that make you feel? I mean, are you is there a discomfort with with the way that the years absolutely flattered? Good? Be honest, I'm serious. Okay, great? Being good then? Because I don't care. I mean, unattractive women tell me that they think I'm sexy too, and it's not the same thing I'm type you are. Who's Michael Hartney? Oh that makes sense. I find that it's really money in the bear world that bears are attracted to other bears, you

know what I mean. It's sort of weird, narcissistic thing in the backdrop of it all. They're so narcissistic. It's actually a real little culture. Number bears are not narcissistic cubs. Um No, but like there is I think, look, I think this view being here is really good. Widen the scope of other cubs seeking out another comedic cub. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Anyway, that's cub cub comic, cub comic. That's a riff on

on club comic aunt. And you know it's a good one when you have to tell you tell the audience where you started. And actually kind of funny because now let me tell you why this is funny. You know who apparently did that? Oh, Marcia Belski was telling us that, um, like recently, like Ricky Gervais was like having a talk and he was like explaining why whose problematic jokes were finding it almost like you fucking suck. That's so. But yeah, this is a Long Island connection. And you have a

tattoo of Long Island. Yeah it's my only I look hot sunburned by the way, Yes, that's good. Honestly, Like my my big struggle is that I'll go out like and I'll wear you know, two shirts, tank tops whatever, and I'll get the really bad tan line that's like not attractive. Yes, you know that's why you gotta go shirt off as soon as you can, as as soon as possible. If I had Rogers, if I had your body, I'd be shirtless so often do you mean I'm already and look at my body, I'm like a fucking white

Rick Ross or like he's fitter than I am. The thing is about the gay community is you're never happy, You're never satisfied because the people that you're attracted to or else you can compare yourselves to that That is hard, right, and also like is this an over generalization and you can you can spill tea on me whatever we will

tell you, we will spill tea on you. Because because men are maybe a little shallower or a little more visually stimulated too, So like men being attracted to men, you're it's you know, like that first impression that looks things is even more important. Well that's what I no, No, you're right like that that's pretty on point. Like like gay culture, well, like the sexual aspect of being gay

is like the patriarchy turning in on itself. It's like, oh, we were we want to fuck And that's sort of like for some people like currency because it's urge driven because men are just like I think with my dick, like I think that that causes them to make like decisions and like it allows them to get on grinder

and be like no fats, no fems, no Asians. I have a dick that telling me what to do and guess what, I'm upfront about it, and that a lot of dudes would be turned off by someone who said that because it's like I'm a guy because yeah, right, because they're like I feel the same way, and it's it's sort of like a racism just like wild, like like I don't know, it's it's crazy. The apps are crazy. I am a big proponent that everyone should delete the apps.

The apps are apps are a weird situation because as someone who's like I found my part, Like I started dating my wife when I was twenty, so I'm still with her fifteen years later, and uh, don't remind me.

It's just a bigger, bigger chunk of my life every year, you know, like the fraction goes up, and uh, but like if we were to try to meet on apps, she has a couple of traits about her that I would have written off not knowing her, you know, or you would be like, for example, women on apps they want to date a guy who's six ft tall or over five ft ten or whatever, um, and everyone like you might be missing out on someone who's five eight

and a half who's perfect, Like I'm not. I never wanted a like growing up and still to this date, Like, makeup is not a big thing to me, but it is a huge thing to my wife. And I was like, if I were just swiping on an app, I'd be like, she seems difficult, and she is difficult, but in like the best way. But but I would not know that if I didn't give my chance a chance to get

to know her. So I feel like, if you're swiping and you're just like I don't really like like light skinned guys or whatever, You're like, you don't know what if that guy? What if? I think you should be okay with five things being wrong with your partner, because we all have things wrong with us, so I might as well be like, hey, look, Bowen is my type, but it's weird that he does He does this for a living, and it's like, you know what, that's one of the five things I gotta be okay with I

don't want a performer for a husband. Well, it's like, wait and find out. You know. Maybe my favorite thing is when there's like a profile that comes up and it's like if you have a head shot, forget it and okay, so unpacked that oh you're talking about this is for other people like apps. I'll go through and it's like and it will say like I'll be like, oh, this person looks interesting, and it says they'll be like, if you have a head shot, keep been moving, Like

I don't want to date an actor. I don't want to date a comedian. I don't want to do someone in show biz, but like, I guess what, honey, A lot of businessmen, real estate people, they of head shots. Yeah, and I feel like I get why someone might not want to date an actor or a comedian. I totally understand that. But that again, isn't that an over generalization? Yeah, because it's like, of course I know what the negative

aspects of dating an actor. I have been demonstrating them for a decade, But why not just be like, well, what if this actor is cool or perfect for me and every other way except that because I feel like the same thing goes the other way, where creative sides are like I want a partner who's like a creative I want someone who works in the creative field. And then it's like you can meet someone who uh scratches all those creative itches, but they could be a real

estate Everyone contains multitude. The good thing is I think we're everyone multitudes. The good thing is that, um we are. I think we're like a post app were hurled where it's like when Angelum is swinging back the other way, well where where it's like it's just apps for like a thing of the past, where it's like, now people are hooking up through d ms alone. D ms are a thing. Now, sliding into the d ms makes sense because then it's sort of more open. And yeah, also

now I think we're at the point. I agree with you because I think we're now we're at the point where a lot of people are having these conversations about the apps, and yeah, like it's now the narrative is like apps aren't cool, and that's the number one thing is people just want to be cool and like apps are for fucking right. It feels not even anymore. Well, this is a thing apps for for like I missed apps complete right and like and and their their son setting.

It's fine, but like apps now are for like and I love this. This is great for people who make this work, but apps for for for like agend daddy, which means like he wants to like spoil you and pay you. It's like for very specific niche things, someone can approach you without any sort of um, we don't have to hide who they are. Ye in where it's like I'm looking for blank. You want to the other end of that puzzle? Exactly? Can you piss on me and do this and all that stuff? How much have

you been walking today? Great? What are your how big are your feet? It's which is you know cool or some people? But now we're now we're in this post up Apple world space where everyone's like, um oh, I will slide into your d M because I like your Instagram and let's talk which I which I can support. But here's support that because that's that's dialogue, right, That's that if Instagram is the new bar that everyone happens to be hanging out, right, yeah, there literally everyone everyone

is at the bar. Everyone's can go back through and you can see if they have like a highly curated Instagram or they like, look they seem to hang out with friends. They take pictures of other things besides themselves, you know, and the verified people are like out on the back patio yea, and there's like a really like a nasty bouncer that's like no bit. Yeah. The back patio was formerly called RYA. How did you meet your wife? Um? Communications principles A communications one on one and what a

fitting place to meet a partner? Communications principle And we use with my way into her group because she was hot and she had like some hot friends in the group with her, and I was nineteen, any of you, I'm like to dude, exactly, I'm like the dude in pajama pants who shows up the class. And I'm like, I think I'm Van Wilder, but really I'm going to have liver issues in the you know. And I just saw her and she had like this will date it too, since it'll put it at like two thousand and two.

She had like a studded belt and black chucks and like a full tron T shirt or whatever. And I was like, yes, you might be the one not to mention a great assent tits and the ass. The belt is the belt had to go. The belt you can use as a problem. Yeah, oh the belt is still in play apart. Man, we don't wear it right. So you guys were in New York for how long we we? Uh? After college? We moved in together, like a year after

college we moved to me. I lived with some guy friends for a little bit, just because I knew we were going to move in together eventually and that'll be it. So I was like, let me do one time living with dudes, and I like lived not at all, not at all. In my head, I had the I was ready to move out because my my family I have. I have a harder time getting along with my family than my wife did with her family. So I was like,

I need to move out sooner. She wasn't financially ready, but she expected me to wait for her, and I kind of was like, let me do one year with some friends. And it was the hardest part of our relationship. She's living at her mom's house in Westchester. I'm living in Brooklyn and Aloft with some friends. It's all new to me, you know. I went from a college dorm to my mom's house to that and and then I was like, moved in with my wife, and I was like,

and another dude, some Brooklyn ass ship right there? You know, three people living in a two yeah, a thruple um and thruppy one toilet. Three humans brutal that when everyone ships in the same spot. I would like from my life to ship into my own place. Yeah, it doesn't have to be a toilet, it's your where, your ship. I now have one and a half paths in my house and in my apartment, and it's a goddamn dream. We can we can stay together forever now, especially because

she's a makeup focused person, She's a get ready. Her getting ready process is a long time, and it's that something I had to resolved to deal with over the years. I've learned to cope because I'm a anxious when running late. You can tell if you listen to the voicemail I left your producing I heard. Because when I'm running late, I get so panicky. And I don't even care if someone runs late on me. You can beat twenty minutes late to meet me, but if I'm five minutes late

to meet you, I'm in the car going out. Fuck, you know, and I don't know what it is. I think it's because my dad was German or something. And I'm like so stressed, and I'm like, I'm like, Brett, you know the fucking parking lot is clothes man. And he's like, I'm like, oh, I found another one. He was like one minute later, I was like, wait, here's another one. The whole he was like, I was panicked.

I just don't want anyone to think I'm rude. I mean, unless I am choosing that, I'm the same way as you, In the same way as you don't care if someone else is late, I will. I will be as chill

as hell about that. And the thing is being with him in l A is funny because I've kind of made the decision like it's okay if we're late, because that's l A. Yeah, and eleven, like you know, ten after is like on time and bowen when when we call our lifts, but when we'll be running into the street, like he's run into traffic several times, and I'm like, no, no, no no, it doesn't work like that. Here, they're going to pull over, don't slow down. I had like pull

him back and I said, we said yesterday. He was like, what if you watched me get hit by a car. I said, I would look down at your ass and said, I told you, bitch, I don't I don't know. I don't know if I like it's like that pace of life thing I was talking. Yeah, No, it's different, it's different. I know you guys are still young though, right, we're still Yeah. So because I always I now with hindsight, being thirty six, have a little bit of New York in your twenties, l do you feel that's the way

it works? Because I was ready for the pay shift. I didn't realize it at the time because I was so New York centric, and then moving here, I was like, oh, I kind of like that. Everyone is stoned, and Joe, you know it is. I think overall it's a dumber city, or at least uh less of a priority put on

intelligence or demonstrating intelligence in any capacity. Like like you get in the f train in New York and everyone's got books and and and then you get in a car and LA and everyone's screaming and blasting music and driving like fucking lunatics. Know they drive crazy here, But here's the thing. There is a theater of like New York per performing New York. When you're in New York's like you're on the F train. Everyone has a book.

I guess this is what New York is. And then when you come here it's like, oh no, everyone's just on their own, on their own sort of wavelength whatever, like udence, and it's great and like you don't feel guilty wasting a day, not wasting, but like spending a

day to smoking and like, yeah, playing video games. L A has like that weird thing where you don't have to actually like new One time when someone said to me is like, I'm like, yo, people at l A dress crazy, and they're like, that's because there's not gonna be a fifteen year old Blackett on the subway going what the funk are you wearing? You're not gonna get

You're not gonna get roasted by high school. You're in your car, you get out of your car, you go immediately to the vegan restaurant, and you get back into your car. In New York, it's like you can't dress like a true free because you've gotta like kind of walk nine blocks and whatever. But here in l A you can have like eight inch platform Chuck Taylors and it's like that's reasonable. Yeah, you've been into your platforms lately. Yeah,

but they're they're cheap. And I brought so many looks to l A like I thought, like, I'll bring I'll have something good to where every single day nobody fucking cares. You can things about l A. You guys need to learn you can literally wear whatever you want wherever you want. It's literally like what kind of place is this, And it's like some somebody's gonna be there in a tank top, a woman's you're gonna have visible nipples, and someone else

is gonna be in the tucks. They all get served the same food or And the other thing is you can create the climate you dress. You dress for whatever weather you want. Like if you're like a cart again, it's like it might just be cool enough for a card again, or you might be a little warm, or you could be like I'm gonna wear shorts and a tank top today and it might be a little but you can just like call it because it's a dry heat.

It's a sure Speaking of speaking of wardrobe choices, I'm looking at two products of Long Island Glorious Long Island Masculinity Wearing tank tops, boots, hats down, and then like maybe Chuck taylors On on John and then some like incomparable denim sneaker on Yeah, a little denim van talk about let's bring it up Long Island. I have a

theory about this the gay community. If you go to like a gay club, it's so funny to watch how everyone is dressed, because we're all addressing up like our high school bullies, Like we have like the backward like literally like not that you were a bully. I don't know you in high school made were a bully. I could be both. Yeah, I was a bully, but not to gay people everyone. Yeah, but also I was a member of the Gay Straight Alliance nine. That's pretty crazy

to be the one straight kid in there. And also you're the kind of person where it's like, I bet like everyone was like that is like a really good guy because like because it's so true, like when straight men are like they get it, like we were graded on such a curve. Yeah, you're like if you're a white straight male, who's like, yeah, well you know actually Stonewall was, They're like everyone's like, holy ship. He should give the speech to the event. It's like he has

a black friend, he said. Honestly, he gets the leader, he gets his own float in a parade. Yeah, it's such. That's how low the bar is for ally ship amongst fucking you know white We love it. It's true though. I mean, like my best friend in high school, Kenny, I was so nervous about telling him that I was gay that I didn't make it through it. I started to cry and he was and he just like and he gave me a hug. I was like, it's okay, I know, and it was just like I'll never forget

like that experience. But it meant so much to me, I think because like, well he was he was who he was to me. But also like being like a straight guy, it's like I know that you guys don't have to accept us and like love us, and you could just keep on living your life, you know what I mean. That's I think that doesn't affect you. It doesn't affect him, or at least that's the mentality at the time. It's like the thing is like I'm taking a huge risk here by like literally being myself and

it doesn't affect you know, straight dudes. So that's like a. I think that's that's something that's like in US, which you know, I don't know. I don't know how the kids feel nowadays. I don't dress like my bellies. I dressed like my fucking self anyway. Well, you're the hardest bully you've ever dealt with. Wow, he you just you

yourself talk about dressing like your bullies. The other day, I Sunday, I was outside my apartment I live in West Hollywood, smoking a joint, and I was in my traditional housewear, which is a tank top, short flower print shorts, uh, sockless shoes of some sort, and backwards hat, and like seven dudes start walking down my block, all dressed exactly like me. And I'm like, and literally, it looks like we are a group of cartoon dogs, are you know what I mean? Like where a cartoon cast about like

surfers who you know, got gained weight or whatever. And I was just like all these like big dudes, stocky muscular guys and walking by and the smoking to joint and them waving to them, and I'm like kind of like, hey, look at our outfits. And I'm like, oh my god, am I I'm flirting with this is And it was it all coming back. It was like the Pride parade. They were walking back to their car and I'm like,

who are these bros? What's up? Guys were oh, never mind, put it all together, and they were like, but that's how it should be. Yeah, it was so awesome. I was like, well, fun, I've talked about this and let's fun. I talked about this on another podcast once. But I just want to say the bear community has done so much for my fashion, you know, because now there's cool clothes that comes. You can get short shorts in a forty two ways now, and I think it's because big

dudes are started dressing like that. And it's for a straight guy who's always dressed like a gay dude. I just never had gay dude bodies. I was like, this is so fucking awesome. Yeah, that body positivity in the community. Sure, although, oh my god, I have to read this. Hold on, I have to pull up this, this into headline and this is me being shady, but whatever. And while he's doing that, I want to ask, when did you get the tattoo? I got this tattoo at thirty last Christmas. Okay,

so it's recent. It's a reason it's my first tattoo, me and both my brothers. We all got them together, and it's a large one. It's a big one besides my whole ba. The world is changing. That might be very real, God forbid. But that's why I've always loved This is so stupid, but I always loved living on the island because I was like, I mean, no natural disaster can really get us, except that a huge tsunami, Like, well could a tsunami happen there? I don't know how

it works. The way I read it was like there was no fault lines like in the but so we were kind of safe from sandy, right that until Sandy happened and I was like, oh no, we can get fucked up. I moved to l A the week of Sandy. It was a very weird experience because I lived in like Red Hook, Brooklyn. There's waste deep water in the streets.

One day and five days later, I'm flying. I'm paying a hundred and fifty dollars to a car service because gas is still not able to get anywhere, paying a hundred fifty dollars to take me to JFK from Brooklyn, and I'm driving out of the city. Leaving the city, I have like pots and pans in my suitcase with my wife a dog in our lap, and the city is black. There's no lights on. It's like a five And I'm like, this is an insane way to say it was wild. Well that's how you know you gotta go.

He lives in red Hook, Yeah, like Carol Garden's Red Hook Border. Like I worked at Brooklyn Crab, did you Yeah? I worked there for four years. Holy hold on, we have, I guarantee we have. Do you know do you know the Rob them Rob, Rob Robb who built the place built the place. Yeah, he's an old Do you know Justin Tyler from New York? Because you guys did, I was welcome. Oh awesome, we all met. I met y'all

know at UM that weird Comedy Central pilot. I yes, over and I was so pumped to have met you and that I didn't even know you guys were UCB guys at the time. Too. Came up and I was like, oh ship, we have so many friends. But Justin Tyler and I were are old friends Rob because we all lived in that neighborhood and the Carol I didn't have

a bunch probably before honestly, Job built the building. Well he was like a co owner, co manager, but he's got some title there, this guy, and he was like always like I never really knew how to interact with him. But then later on like we kind of you know, just assume he faced way to deal with. But like always, like whenever there was like a straw true problem with the building, everyone was like, well Rob built it. He's good. He has He owns his own restaurant now, and like,

uh yeah, like what's the neighborhood four Green his own restaurant. Yeah, that's awesome. Lot's changed there over the past two years. And they went through like a couple of general managers. But I think it's like on its way. Sarah Grace Wellborn works there another up. I got her the job and then they kept her for the winter and not me, and I was like, well, I'm never coming back. What

kind of business does it do in the winter, shitty? Yeah, I can imagine, Like, but the summer is popping off all day, dumping off the amount of money Corn Hall literally, and it's good for everybody, you know what I mean, Like it's good for families, it's good for like you can get ship faced there. You can also take your kid thereoutely, and there's like so many different levels. Well this is a big um, I guess ad for Brooklyn

crab check out. So here's the fucking deal when I get back in there, and I don't know if anyone from the from the place listens, like the managerial staff, but I still want my employee discount as a result. There you're an ambassador. Yeah, why don't you pull up? Okay, So we were talking about bout it body positivity. I just whatever, maybe this I'll get some ship for this. But um, this this Okay? So there's this twurtter can I follow um and she and they tweeted um no

tea or shadow? But what do any of these words mean? And it's this into headline that says thickness is getting co opted by the mask muscular gaze, gay body fascism and the gentrification of body positivity. And it's like and this is this is like another care account being like what the funk are you talking? Like like you get like John, like you gotta know that, like there is this like there there is some degree of infighting in the gay community where it's like you gotta like get

off this look. Just because it can be a headline doesn't mean it should be well and the guy and the guy who wrote this article also is a great comedian, but he um confused me and Joel Kim Booster. He introduced joelkin Booster wants at a show by saying, this guy's great. He's on the sketch group called pop Roulette.

Please welcome to the stage of Dool Kim Booster. So I'm like, okay, well that's that's that's where we're at now anyway, But like that happens all the time, happen I'm assuming, Yeah, I get confused for John Gemberling all the time. Oh yeah, yeah you and definitely I'm sure are always confused. And I'm not saying like that's allowed. And three times, like several time, that's racist, that's racist, and several times it's we've been most recently this last

pilot season it was down to the two of us pilot. Literally, yeah, he booked. You know what that means. It'll open up the doors for something. I know that's all the joke is, because it's happened now like two or three times. The joke is I'm like, I need you to get a show that goes two seasons, so the next pilot season, you're not available. I felt like that about He definitely

doesn't feel this way about me. But I'm so happy, like he's gonna work now because like it cancels him in the equation or you kidding me, Like people the Gaze in New York are just picking up the crumbs that are left that were left behind when John like moved to La John Early. Yeah, they'll tell me sometimes they'll be like, yeah, oh my god, I'm so happy to have you. John couldn't do it. Take it books something where I looked the the script is like, where's

my part? And then it was literally the name was John and I was like, oh, really couldn't do it? And then Cole Scholler couldn't do it, and then joe Kie Booster couldn't do it, and then but when Ye couldn't do it, and then Josh Sharp couldn't do it, and then Aaron Jackson couldn't do it. So we thought, oh my god, we love that Rogers. You're allowed to love ten comedians are I don't want to know on the tenth hap to you know what it was it was like, shot I shot this thing with Linda Donald

for funny or diet. Was like she did a rap for the Hillary campaign. Finally why she lost? Um, but you're you're like, why can't generally be available? But they like um by the way that she was great? Though. Can you imagine saying that sentence to like a cousin from Tennessee. I was actually in a video with Lena Dunham where she would they would hate it. We actually can I just say, Tina, they did this? Um did this?

Made this joke Once she was giving like some like speech out of breakfast, like a variety women and women in Hollywood breakfast, and she goes and this is right after election, and she goes, you know, it's really tough, like we're going through a tough time now, and like, you know, I just think like Hillary would have one if we had just had one more music video of a celebrity wrapping about Hillary. And it was like, like,

why am I talking about someone? But literally it's like is that spilling tea by the way, Yeah, well here's the thing. Spilling the tea is just telling the truth. YEA spilling tea isn't like burning someone necessarily you know what I mean. That's reading them, Okay, burning someone is reading exactly like when you go out like you burnt by that person, like they've been read someone else read

them to filth um. I love this, I think. I think I can't wait to bring this back to all my nearly forty year old straight friends and explain it. Can I tell you something I think I think Gabris is, I think we should start handing out an award another award here Lost Cultures? Does all I have the year? I'll I have the year and gave risk I think Gabris has ever said yeah, all over the year. I

knew it would be here, of course. Yeah, I'm not surprised. Member, come on, that's crazy, I mean, especially because like even doing that, you had to have everyone saying you are a fagot. Yes, yeah, And that was part of the fun for me though, was sort of like trolling them. Yeah. It was kind of like, well, if you're going to call these guys the F word, I'm going to stand

there and take it alongside them. Because also I feel like too at the time, because it was the g s A was made up of maybe just also a more broader thing than gay, and it was more like these people feel not home. Yeah, they don't feel comfortable here at school because there was people who I'm like, in hindsight, I'm like, I don't think that woman was

gay as much as she was, you know exactly. I'm sure. Yeah, especially now with like all the all the letters, like you know, I'm sure there was an umbrella we were all covered under. What high school is that? That was map Um High School met him War Americ Central High School District. Yes, I went to ice Lip, Oh you did. I grew up in a Freeport. My parents both went to Freeport High School. Well, my mom went to free Port High School. My dad would have gone if he had.

That's kind of w T I'm from. This is my favorite thing about being from Long Island. It's like you're like, where are you from? And someone says a town, and then I say a town and then we go, oh, yeah we know that town. We call it Jewish geography. Okay, do you know Brad Brad Brad? Of course that's my mom. Uh. I was in Vegas. Took my mom, me and my wife, my mom and her friend. We went to the like the restaurant in the Eiffel Tower. Because we're staying at

the Paris, we went to the restaurant, the Smilier. There it happens to listen to comedy bank bang in High and Mighty and knows me, and he's so excited and he's like, I just want to introduce myself, blah blah blah. And then I was like, oh, that's so nice. He leaves. My mom doesn't react at all. A stranger came up to me in a suit and said he was and he shook my hand and Paris and then uh, he leaves. And then the woman comes over and she goes, he

was so nervous to talk to you. Was so he was being so cute backstage, Like back in the backstage in the kitchen I still called. When I played sports, I called rugby practice rehearsal and they were like, all right, boy in trouble um. And she's like, and he's from Long Island too, And my mom goes, he's from Long Island. Kept him out here and then he goes out and then my mom goes, where are you from? And he says some town and she's like it's so and so.

Still the music teacher there he was, and he was like, I don't think so. And my mom was like, that's weird because I think he's I think he's still there. And I'm like, she didn't react at all to her son getting recognized, and uh, and but she's going apeshit over the fact that she's playing Jewish geography with a ram. Long Island people are very proud to be from Long Island, you know what I mean, like if they're still there. A lot of people who leave. I it took me

a while to gain the pride of I found. I want to do good pr from Long Island because there's a it is Tim Tim Dillon one time Long Island, another Long Island comedian. Uh he one time said, uh, thirty minutes subway thirty years behind, thirty minute train ride thirty years behind. Because it's so close to Manhattan, you would think it would be more progressive. It's really, but it is people who choose not to go to Manhattan

despite living thirty minutes away from it. And that blows my Like my family will be like, it's too much traffic. It's like, it's fucking Long Island has traffic. This is New York City. There's the fucking Natural History Museum is here at the moment, Like, that's in New York City. You can go to that. You got to name any food or bar you want to try, it's there. And they're still like, no, I like to see food place in my hometown. You know, all right, well then what

can you do? I don't know. I definitely like I didn't realize this growing up, and then afterwards, like I kind of was like, oh, wow, that was actually really hard to grow up there, Like you're not hard to hard to go up there and be different, right, you know what I mean? It's because it's it's blue collar

in like in like a prideful way. Yeah. You know, even though even though maybe maybe the person is a dentist or a hedge fund operator manager or whatever and now they make they have a million dollar home or whatever, but their parents were probably Electricians or Irish or Italian immigrants of some sort, or Jewish or whatever, and so

they are have that weird blue collar attitude. And I think that you can have a negative side to it too, just sort of like I don't fucking want this fancy shit, fucking oh you know, chicken on pizza, having chex with men. You know, I feel like the people who like chicken on pizza having sex with men is the title of this Oh my god, I like chopping the block, chopping, the chopping, the chopping it up, chopping it up, I'm sorry,

chopping it up. I'm sorry. Chopping it up is the title. Yes, if you know what's insane watching the same people who like like Bill Clinton become the people who liked Donald Trump one and it is just because the white male choice on right and right. And also I do think it's the blue collar people they they've Hillary lost them. Yeah. Trump is huge in my family because of casinos and all my family like and the people I know who are into Trump are before they were became closed minded

sort of bigots, like anti immigration. Before that ship didn't even matter to a lot of these people, I know. They were just excited that someone who they knew, who's from New York makes a bunch of money and despite the fact that he doesn't like we finally a business like that ship. A businessman is running America. It's like he was a businessman who burned businesses to the ground and became and he got money out of it. Yeah,

that's so funny. That was such a narrative too. In high school, when Mitt Romney was running and he was like, um, going to be the nominee, everyone was like, you know, the country needs to be run like a business. And I'm like, wow, your parents are like really brainwashed you with yeah, it's great. And then people are so adamant or so anti Hillary or so pro this idea of Trump business that when he got elected, they just adopted

other ideas of theirs that they never even had before. Right, You're not so Christian relatives who are conservative all of a sudden are like have like these weird Christian values that are like You're just You're like, because you don't have to just wholeheartedly adopt every belief, you can be like, look, I I like this Trump thing. I like the tax breaks. I love that I'm rich and getting richer. But let's let Mexicans live here. You know, No, you have to

like you have to swallow the whole pill. And you I'm just rambling now. I'm on my second coffee. I realized. But when you were saying like that weird headline where inside the gay community people are still like they're picking you see that ship amongst liberals too right, you can't

back Kamala Harris, she said this five years ago. None of that, yeah, exactly, And where I'm like, I don't think this is the time for us to like be hemming and hawing of like we're not going to build the perfect candidate that scratches all the liberal itches because that we're all too fraction because we're so like, well, that's Bowen's belief, so let's support that. That's Matt's belief, that's Gaber's belief. Let's all support those. We can't go Bowen,

shut the funk up. We need a person who can win right now. Or if you do say that, then it's like how dare you? And that that is a little yes, you know what I mean? Like that is like this kind of like thing of you know, like I don't I don't even really know, but I just feel like if I would feel more confident going forward if there was someone we could all agree on. And

the thing is, there are so many good choices. There are so many people that like I feel like could go up against Donald Trump, and I can't believe we're gonna watch him campaign again like that when what the day he wont I was like, what I'm so scared of is like that we're gonna all have to watch this again, like and it's gonna get worse because if they put Kamala Harris up there, you I don't know

what he's gonna say. And also Kirsten Gila Brand, he's gonna like make comments about her voice, you know what I mean? You can just see. And that's what sucks is like everyone that we have as an option, I'm thinking to myself, how is he going to be horrible to that person? Right? I think we need to like and look, I'm all for whoever can win can win, So I'm you know, I'm open to whatever person we need. But part of me thinks like we need to fight

alpha with alpha, you know what I mean. Gavin Newsome, get like some fucking street tough training and be like, you know, some sort But again, I don't know anything. Everyone is going to have a problem with some somebody. It's almost like we're in a huge street fight and we keep getting mad at each other for bumping into each other, like we're being surrounded by the other team and we're fist fighting, and then we bump into each other and it's like, can you please stay over there?

You know. It's like, guys, we're gonna She's gonna hit the fan asap. Let's just make sure we beat the other guys. Guys, we were all supposed to be in the shame shade of blue arguing about that you are an eggshell, um Robin egg show. Yo, No you didn't. There are no mistakes which actively will just make that the truth. You know, when they said that Oprah, like when she made the speech of the Golden Globes and

everyone was like, oh, bro, we'll be president. I literally said to myself, I was like, maybe she's the only person that is the answer to That's why people, that's why the enthusiasm was there, and because everyone who can argue with like her what she's done. Like, I mean, it does feel like the answer to Trump. It scares me. It scares me though, like what we may find out about her if she were to go, you know what I mean, I can't have one strike against her in anyway.

It would hurt too bad. Like and also if she were to lose, that would feel I think even worse than you recover from that. Right, it's not worth it. It's not worth it for her. No, no, and she knows that, and I truly don't think it was ever an option. She should just come out there and fucking who back somebody hard and go in. But then there's the thing, like we said about Lena Dunham, it's like

I think Lena should Lena should run. Oh my god, Yeah, that would be a weird like sort of sacrificial lamb. Let's put her up early and just have her get thank you for taking all the slings and arrows for us. A Republican she would probably that would be awesome. She should. We should sucking go troll. We should go troll on these guys. Honestly, they fucking that's how they want that

way trolled their fucking way into the White House. He is a good bully, he's a fantastic but he's very still at being all yeah, yeah, he's very good at like I feel like I know your weakness and I'm gonna just keep saying it until other people are saying it. Yeah. All you had to say was the word emails. All you had to say was the word. He's still like that, like it was Patlilvian, Like no one on the left is saying collusion, Like, that's not even what Mueller is after, right,

he just keeps saying no collusion, no collusion. Now it's of now that's a phrase because Republicans are too stupid to say obstruction of justice in one sentence. Just in general. Also the thing we just talked about this the other day. But honestly, like you can't even I think almost think there are so many controversies almost on purpose, because it's like you can't even remember one of them anymore. There's so much bullshit every single day. Yeah, it's a needle,

and it's needle and a stack of needle. Yeah. Like I feel the same way, like, uh, you know, saying something problematic on a podcast or on a tweet can get you fired or unhired from something like as for most people, I feel like I've said enough pseudo problematic things that it's sort of like everything else gets put under the umbrella of like, wow, what are we gonna do? It's got three of podcast content where he's got stupid views.

I think Trump is like the peak version of that, where you're like, well, are we really going to get mad at him for this? Because he just did this thing that was worse yesterday, and it's going to do a worse thing tomorrow. We didn't do anything. Then it's weird. You can get fully fired for one bad tweet, but you can do thousands of bad things, and everyone's like, well, that's what it is. Yeah, you can't you can't be if you're super, you can't have You can't get a

nineties seven on the test. You can either get a hundred or you can get a zero a thousand times. You know what, I'm truly and I'm gonna admit to something I'm truly horrified at. Is like the enthusiasm, my own enthusiasm of like activism, just like getting out there and like doing doing the work is like has just tanked in the last three months because you get tired. And that's what I'm truly fatigued. I'm with you. It's like I'm sober in town. I was. I would listen

to him. I would watch Matter or listen to the podcast version every single night and be like with it. And now I'm just like, oh, what New York is? Because it feels food feels because you're like honestly, and also you have to remember that's also an industry, so they want you to keep watching. So she has watched this space, watch this space, and it's like we're watching

the space. Nothing is happening. And so it's almost like every day since he's been elected, they've been promising that it's gonna end, and it's like, this is what's gonna but it's gonna be. This is what it's gonna be. That we're exhausted on it now and they won't get they won't get advertising if they say, look, it's gonna be a slow fucking grind some information over the course the next few years. Hopefully we could trip this guy

and his cronies up. Instead, they go, tomorrow, we have tax returns, and it's like a page that was upsetting. That was a very upsetting that I I was like, well, I'm pumping the brakes on Mattow. For a while after that, I was like, you you used us, you know, I felt I felt used in that moment. I felt like, yeah, you fucking snake oiled me. You said like, I've got the cure for what you're feeling right now, tune in tonight.

And it was like try this, you know, I mean, the only good thing that came out of that was that she was able to get everyone to watch at the same time and explain very cogently like Okay, these these are the things that have happened that have lent up to us. Um. But yeah, like I'm just I'm just I'm just here to say, like I feel a certain amount of guilt to with that fatigue, which is

so dumb and layered. But like it's like it's like you think back on then you think you think back on like the day after he got inaugurated, the week after the Muslim band, and then all of us going to JF, like New York going to jfkra people go

to ALIAX, Like like I don't know what. I don't know if there's gonna be another thing that's gonna like ignite that same passion and like on like a mass level, I know, and I don't know, Like it seems every time it seems like, well, if it's not uh, if it's banning people from arriving in the country, that's all.

If it's making Mexicans build up, if it's separating parents from their children at the border, and it's like all the ship keeps coming out and you're like this has to be the thing, and then it's just sort of like next you know, it's a month later, and then you start to feel fatigue with so when you're like Michael Cohen has been indicted or whatever, you're like, Okay, well nothing's gonna happen, and then you you talk about

the guilt with fatigue. I've started to get so far around that where I feel guilt with the bullshit that I do for a living, you know what I mean, Where I'm like I can't be at the protests on a Saturday because I have to go do a show or whatever. I'm like, this is awful. Also, I don't have enough free weekends to be a full time activist,

like it seems crazy. And then also it's like you find like I just saw people chemically changed before the election and after the election, like especially a lot of comics to like all of a sudden, like what that what they were talking about exclusively with political stuff? And I'm like, actually, maybe this is what you're supposed to do. And it's like how do you say that to someone, But like you really get a sense that they might

be more useful like that. And then I did see a lot of them land at jobs where they can be politically active. And I saw that with a few people like Buddies who ended up at like Pods of America, Like this is the job I need right now. There's some great folks working at Samantha by which I think it's exactly where they're supposed to be, right, But like you know what I mean, it's just like you know, it was a confusing time. It's through we just talked

about this. Actually the world just felt differently before and after, like it was like a nine situation. It was like the chemistry change, Like it was just darkness. It was weird. But then there's also like an odd like hunger game this kind of thing to it now where it's like what side are you on? Used to you're not used to not even ask, and now you're like, no one wants conservatives. Super conservatives don't want to do with super liberals.

Super liberals don't want to deal with super conservatives. And that's why going to the island is so hard because I had, for the first like twenty six years of my life just like loved everyone from for their like if they were had different views, it was just like not it didn't really matter because at the end of the day, we weren't gonna die. If Mitt Romney was like the president, you know what I mean, Like, it would have been fine. It would have been hard, but

it would have been fine. And we lived through George Bush and there were differences and opinions and like, yes, that was a very dark time and it felt bad. But Trump, when you understand that someone supports Trump and then you start talking to them about it, and you realize, oh, this isn't going to be as simple as me expressing my feelings and then expressing them. Our feelings are not

getting to a place. It's like when you understand that there are ideological, lived in differences between these people that you loved so much and still loving anyways, if you're sibling, like so when you grew up next to and you're like, I thought we had the same exact point of view on our fellow people, you know, like or you're in laws, You're like, Okay, well, how do you feel? I get like some element of what you're feeling because you're just

we have a different life. You're from like a little bit more of a hick up here in upstate New York or whatever. But why the funk, like, how does how do you expand all the way? How do you get like, how do you bring in that other part of you where? Because there's always it's always bubbling on Long Island too, where it's like when your uncle said, I don't know that place gets a little dark on

the weekends. You're like, oh, you don't realize what they're talking about it first, and then you're like, wow, okay, you felt good enough to say that. Yeah, yeah, you felt comfortable enough to say that. And then now you're like, you feel like these people are just getting more and more embold And I'm like, if that's what they were saying in nine, what are they saying now? First of all, I put on a red hat this morning, and I was like, can I even wear this? It's a surf

shop corduroy hat. But I got panicked that. I was like, I can't wear a red hat. I'm a fat white guy with a red hat on, and I'm gonna get a I have an eleven year old cousin and right before the election, my mom was like babysitting him and he's in the back of the car and they're driving somewhere and he starts talking about Hillary and he called her a murderer, And like, what's going in about how you know Hillary is a murder This is an eleven year old kid, And I'm like, this is what's really

fucked up. It is that you can just casually pass down to your eleven year old child that Hillary Clinton is a murderer and that he thinks now that he's like informed about this and it's eleven years old, and if that's just I can't let that go. I can. It feels that's like I will leave the person out of this for their privacy. But someone said to me

it was like someone uninformed about politics. I was talking in them and they were like, uh, They're like, oh, you're probably gonna vote for Hillary, right, this is before that. I was like, yeah, I mean, what's the other option? They were like, well, what about the bombs? And I go, I go, what bombs? They're like the bombs and they're Hillary. My friend was telling me that Hillary was dropping bombs on something and I go, and why does that have

set you? And I know they're wrong, and I know I think this person was talking about Benghazi and just didn't even understand what it was. And I'm like, so, what do you think happened? You think Hillary Clinton as secretary of State dropped bombs and now we're only hearing about this days before the it didn't happen, and like, uh the stock like uh, the same person went The stock market went up when Trump got elected on like one percent of the world owned stocks, you know what

I mean? Like you happen to own stocks, so you feel a direct benefit. And that's the ship that drives me crazy is where it's like I love a direct benefit, but I can't help but think, like what about these other sex amount of people? What if we all benefit totally or just the lie like it none of that. That's the thing. But here's my thing too in now thought experiment, what's our liberally like when we say ship, like oh, Stormy Daniels or whatever are we is that

are BEng Ghazi over? Are we getting caught up in some bullshit too? Yeah? You know the crazy thing that we believe uniformly right that they would that conservatives. That sounds insane, You're nuts. Honestly, I think us us all the tape maybe like that, yes, yes, maybe the pe tape. But even that's like that's in adoscia there's like that was investigated. I don't know. And we don't even feel the way about the pe tape as these monsters felt about.

We're not saying I'm not gonna vote for Donald Trump because the hook or piste on. Yeah, as a matter of fact, that's one of the more humanizing things about it. And honestly, I feel like, I again, my sister was like not for me, But then again, neither is conservatives. I even tweeted like when when the dossier came out and like pe tape was like the word I was just like, but honestly like kind of like kind of kind of happy for Trump. It makes him more rounded,

like makes more well rounded as a person. And it's the thing I mean, I mean, I'm not saying that he's like not know you love him Donald Trump. And he has a funny story about he was at the after part. I've told us a million times, but I

will say it to John. So Donald Trump hosted us an L and that was the episode that Bond happened to go to and like they had like a he had like an interaction with a Vanka that was like insane, and then Donald Trump was leaving the restaurant, and I was, yeah, great, um, and yeah, you know he I was hammered and like and like like people are just like he didn't have secret service. I mean, he has his own security, but he like Keith Um. But yeah, they just just like

pushing people aside. But then like I was like along the procession of him walking and I was hammered. And he passes by a go great show tonight. And you guys, thank you didn't doesn't make eye contact, complimented Donald Trump on his comedy after his show, your comedian Jimmy fallon you guys in the same Um, I do think the Stormy Daniels is the thing that they can't believe, Like why are you guys, like supporting a porn star? How

could you? Because they they don't understand like the idea of like, you know, um, embracing sex work as like a thing that like people do and pay her bills. Like I don't think people think porn star. They think or they think like and that's like a horrible thing, Like how dare you like? But it's Trump is like porn star. Like the thing you liked about him in the eighties and nineties is that he was more a

porn star with Yeah, Um, it's so it's so weird. Also, that's my favorite ship too, is like, I think the thing that drives me most crazy about this DIVI and amongst sides is like the reason we're into porn stars is because I think we're all honest with ourselves. It's like, we watch porn, like the least you could do is respect the people in it, you know what I mean. Like,

and the other side definitely watches porn. Yeah, and that's what bothers me where it's like they definitely watch pornography, they definitely watch sports, they definitely watch entertainment featuring minorities and LGBT people and they can't see also that it's like, hey, maybe I should support them outside of you know that, I would be more stars struck if I saw Carter Dane than I saw Julia Roberts star I assumed card. You don't have to do. We haven't asked this questions

two grays anatomy names good. We should ask this question before we get into I don't think so, honey, So we ask all of our guests that come through, Um, what was the culture that that you experienced that made you say culture was for you, Like what was the defining thing as you were growing up, Like there was a movie like Musical Artist, a television show and it was like defining for you kind of like made you follow it in a way that was like I'm yeah,

that's really Oh that's a very good questions question. I like that question. I guess I would say the first time I saw like, uh, like I watched action movies with my dad growing up, and I'd be like, this is so cool. And then I remember when I saw a comedy movie I was watching, maybe it was like a cable guy or like, you know, one of the dumb and dumber at one of those Tommy boy that generates movies, like these are so funny, These are so funny.

I was so into comedy. And then my dad said, uh, and we didn't have a good relationship, but like movies, where are connection? And he was like, oh, you should see this movie called Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And I was a little D and D kid and a budding comedy kid. I didn't know it at the time, and then I was I watched that and I was like, these guys are adults being silly riding horses, carrying swords. I don't think there's a cooler thing you can do.

And I felt in that moment. And then when I eventually came to UCB as as unlike what it was in my head, it still was, Hey, we're all a bunch of comedy people. We have like sort of the same reference points. And I felt and I was like, oh, this is this is the AMA And then I sort of just felt that vibe and continued that, like continued that and the and then did that open the door to the Monty Python stuff? Oh yeah, But like I've

eventually got all of Flying Circus on DVD, you know. Uh, And even late way later in life got into British comedy more. But for me that was more just about like, hey, this comedy movie is. And then also another one, another version of that was when I first saw the movie hot Shots, which is like a top gun parody. So it's parodying films that I love, like the mask bullshit

mask in action movies. And I can get the both the comedy, but I also love all the reference and I'm like, oh my god, I even though this is a thing you could do, it's like, hold both of those believes. I've sort of always been as uh, now that I'm less cultus ally the year, I've always sort of been like this weird dichotomy of like meathead and nerd or like yeah, you know, like I was a theater kid and a rugby player. It was like I

did short form improv and drinking games. Yeah, so I was like I was kind of was always had like a foot on both sides, so I felt. And then when I found those like parody movies and I was like, oh my god, like in Monty Python of course stands out like right, yeah, that's I'm glad you can textualized it with um that the action movies was the thing that like major Dad say, oh, actually there's this, here's this totally different thing that sort of has some connection

to it, like spiritual connection to that. I fucking love the moment that I rented Monty Python and the Holy Girl from the library and like popped it. I didn't really know like people were like kids at school be like oh it's so funny, and I just like read it from the library, popped into the DCR fucking lost my mind. Like the the opening title cards, like he's been sacked, like that person has been sacked. I was like,

what is this right? And it's really you would I would have written it off a year earlier just based on the lighting, you know what I mean. Like when I was a kid, I could not get my head around seventies ships, you know what I mean, like even classics. And then now I like, yeah, I really, I'm like, this is not a multi camp sitcom. It's super well lit, so it's garbage. I remember the first time I saw like a Doctor Who episode when I was young, I'm like,

who watches this? And then when I got like, as I got older and you like get appreciation for that like look and all of a sudden you're like, oh my god, this whole world. Yeah, it's just man. I have to ask you about your preferred drinking game in high school, um or in general. In high school it was beer pong was the big one. And then when I was eventually here some long island ship, when I was eventually a Jones Beach lifeguard, Oh, we would do

a hell of a lot of beer pongs. Shout out to my I'm not even to give his last name because I feel like he's a businessman now Shout out to my s or beer punk partner. Five summers running kicked ass every time. Shout out to Joe. See I was a flip cup bit. Oh I could play a game of flip cup. And then in college we got into rugby team did boat races, which is just chuck a beer and put it on your head. See I haven't a college was different because we went to n y U and it was like we did the more

cerebral drinking games, like like Kings. I love Kings. Is that like a cup of death or whatever? You like when you flipped the cards over? And like every every does something different. But flip Cup I loved because of the racing as when I did cross country and so I was on the track and I was like, oh yeah, it's about speed. I love it. And it's just like I love that you only had to drink like a

little bit. Yeah. And then it was also there's like a performative aspect and a sort of like you get to be you're you're kind of always playing with flip cup. Once you flipped you can just you can hang you can Also like when you got it over on the first try, that felt that there's nothing There's no better feeling in the world. Truly, There's not a cooler move than casually drinking your beer, no rush, placing it down

and then just flipping it. And you're a flip cup assassin, right and you can take if you take your time and do it with confidence. It's the coolest looking Did you play those games? Now? I was the only time I remember ever playing flip Cup in college was when we went to d C d C together and like we went to some kids basement and like we we played it on a door. I mean there was beer pong that was played on a door, remember that plays horizontal, And then like played flip Cup once and I was like,

oh yeah, I don't like it. No, we would just we would just be like fucking idiot theater kids in high school and just do like never have I ever and like I like that, Oh my god. We would when I would my friends in high school, we used to get like a beach house on Fire Island every every year and like we would just have like twenty four verse twenty four, you know what I mean, Like

it would be tables aligned. Honestly, I loved it and I still would love it to this day, like that's just a part of that's like a part of my history that I'm still like my days doing that are not open, but they can't be. I think the gays can reclaim beer pong. I want, I don't really need flip beer pong gays. Fire Island. We're gonna go to Fire Island in a few weeks, I think. I think we propose that. I think you're going to Fire Island. We're going we're going from the fifth to the twelve,

so we're gonna miss the fourth. I'm from the first. Oh, that's cool, that'll be great. I think we're gonna be there for the invasion, which is when they get all a bunch of drag queens on the ferry coming in Hell and then everyone's in Dragon. So we're probably gonna go and Dragon and go to the pier and that's amazing. I'm gonna get like, I'm gonna get my eyebrows blocked.

What's the which beaches that the Pines and then Cherry. Yeah, and then people talk people on any other beach like they talk about like Fire Island and then they have they associate gay with it. But you know from growing up there, you know it is mostly yeah, or like Tina Fey as a house, and because I went to Kismid every summer. Kisman was where we went as eighteen

year olds and got so fucked up. I had my one of my best friends in high school, Carl, went to r p I and he was like a sick engineer and he made this funnel that would had two handles and they held six beers, three on each side. I used to be able to take three natty ices to the chest. No, I was a tank like I would have We would have hard right now because I got a guy in the tank top telling me takes three nat lights natty lighting the needle of sexuality and homosexuality.

In my mind right here said if Jesus turned water into wine, the devil turned water into natty ice. And we would do a beer sickle course which was flip cup into beer pong into like some other game, uh into It ended in the and it was epic. We should do insane bullshit like that. Yeah. One time beer pong tournament uh at a friend's house. His mom was out of town for weekend. Like twelve teams. Me and my buddy, We're like, we're gonna win this. We're better

drinkers than everyone. Here's the plan. You have to you have to drink the cups at the end. So we thought we'll fill our cups up to all the time and then if we win fast, someone's gonna drink six beers and not be able to play the later round. Instead, we want to buy one cup three games in a row, and had drank beers just just the two of us. No one else was as drunk as we were, and we were throwing up in between rounds. And we actually left that party and stole the entire bar. And they

were like, did you guys take all the Bailey? Like we like grabbed two bottles of liquor each out of there, like parents bar, Like did you take the Bailey's Amaretto, blue Curasao? And just drinking And it was just about taking it. I just wanted The last listeners are like, who the funk is Matt Rogers, We don't even know. I'm having like an out experience. Yeah, your octaves are all over the place. Literally, I knew when you came in.

I was like the Long Island and me is gonna come roaring out that to other people also, and me on this podcast is bringing out all my late and Almo sexually. Wait, and that's the crossover, and that's the costsover and that in the middle. Yeah, me and me, I think it's time. I think it's time. I don't think so, honey. Now John is now a seasoned veteran in thefore, I know what I don't now, I know what I don't think so so funny you m you slipped into my d Hell, yeah, you're like, what the

fun is that? I was like excited for the show? What is? And I don't think so, honey. I don't know if the Custer first episode, no, they will have come out. I don't know. Can can confirm ors and I we're not sure. But the best part was also that I was like a third two. Yeah, you were like. I was like, I think I know what it is. We didn't we didn't set the order right, but anyway, I was fine. And I said to him, he was like,

is this the most hetero sexual question ever? Asked like, what isn't I don't think so, honey, And I was like, no, I'll tell you why. It's queer because you want to put yourself in a position to win and want to be cut throat and that, honey, it's quick. That's exactly what you wrote to me, and I went, it's actually a rule of culture number forty seven. Being cut throat is queer. Okay, okay, great, this is a we're doing all. I don't think we're doing some relegance culture. You know

what it is. So if I don't have anything planned right now, but maybe you can always great. This is not Rogers. I don't think so, honey. As time starts now, I actually don't think so honey. Karaoke, and I'll tell you why, because I'm a perfectionist about these kinds of things and when and the songs that I want to

sing are very commonly out of my range, honey. And so unless it's a cutting edge karaoke machine that I can lower the key, which is often what I need to do, honey, because I can't sing if I can turn back time and the original key needs to be like a step down, like maybe get half a step down. If it's not, I don't think so, honey. And I don't think so karaoke because oftentimes at the end of then I will have a ruined voice. I don't think so, honey, that karaoke is taking my gift and stomping on it

and stomping on it. And also, I don't think so, honey, when you go to karaoke with all your gay friends and you know it's a competition. So I don't think so honey when it becomes a competition bitch, because guess what, it's about the joy of singing. And also, if you ever hear me sing in a real way, you will know I am a shanto. But unfortunately I am the elusive Sean Too's like Mariah carry herself, honey, because guess what a lot of times I'm just on karaoke and

I have nothing to offer you. I don't think so, honey. Karaoke also a lot of times the bad fonts on the screen, And that's one minute. I don't like very much seeing it live, seeing it up close, seeing an official loss culture stas, I don't think, sony happening on my face. I can get it now, it's intimate, get it, get it now. But you got it in the beginning. I got it. You did trouble. What did you pick out of the trouble? I got people named Tori, people

named Tori. That was Matt Rodgers was like, I tried Gavers made it work. Okay, this is Bowen Yanks. I don't think you already and this is gonna this make me some enemies. Yeah, you're making a lot of enemies on this podcast today and his time starts now. I don't think so many fucking food halls, bitch, I'm talking about Grand Central Market, talking about fucking Decal market in Brooklyn, bitch, I'm talking about Italy even let's let's throw Italy in

the mix. It is perfore you are watching, You're watching people eat, people are watching you eat and slurp up some poke a or whatever the fuck. I don't think so, honey. It is theater, but it is bad. It is theater of mastication. That's what it is, honey. And I do not like excelet At eight in the morning that we tried to go to car breakfast, we thought we'd beat the rush. No, the line was around every fucking booth,

and I was like, this is bullshit. Was excellent. I can fry an egg, and I can make what do they calling Bohemian eggs. Fry my egg with the bacon, put it on between two pieces of toast. I don't think so many food halls. I do not like the culture of having to like pick out. It's listen, it's a mall. It's a fucking mall. Don't glorify it. Give me a Panda Express and then I'm going to go that far. Give me some actual options. I don't want to have to figure out your menu and decide for

all that. I don't think, so, honey. And that's one minute. Wow, I wanted. I was started off disagreeing with you, and by the end, I'm like, there's nothing more humiliating than walking around with a tray of food trying to find a place. High school. It's the worst part about high schools. It's strangers and it's kids, and it's like all the bullshit. I don't know, I don't think so, I'm going to save this for another episode. Can you preview what's the topic? Okay,

I don't think, so honey. Of the name eggs, okay, it didn't make me want to eat the food, that's fair enough. And literally we went I said this, we were hungry, and then we got to that food hall in l A. What's that one called? And then I saw eggs, and I'm like, oh, I'm not hungry anymore. It could be called bacon slut and it would be less bad. Egg. It's the it's not even the slut, it's the egg. It's it's the idea of being a slut for Eggs where we're gonna do an episode with

Frank Glaspie. That's gonna be there. You go, okay, great, And this is John Gabs's Ally of the Year. John Gabers is, I don't think so honey, and his time starts now. I don't think so honey. Chatty Uber drivers, I'm sorry. I don't even use lift anymore. I know hashtag delete Uber. Sorry, I just lost my ally ship because I found on anecdotally that lift drivers talk more

than Uber drivers. Because I'm I'm in here, I want to talk to New York versus l A. I miss a fucking harrowing drive home from someone who doesn't even seem like they want to pick me up. I love someone that's mad that I'm even making them do their job here. And when I get an Uber driver and it says armand it will be there in five minutes, I'm pumped. I want to dude in a Honda Civic who is talking in a different language to a fucking cousin back home. I don't want him to even look

at me. I want to watch movie. I'm stoned, I'm drunk. I'm in an Uber for a reason. I want to be just looking at my fucking phone. I don't want to get in the lift and fist bump you and then here or you wreck, ignize me, or tell me about your podcast. Put on second Uber a one dollar up charge if you ask for a quiet driver and a business proposal to end the whole thing. And you know what. Today my lift getting here, his name was Charlie, and I was like, fuck, Charlie's gonna talk. Yeah, he's

gonna talk. But he didn't. And this is I think Joel pointed that out, pointed this out for us. An Uber lift driver with with to bring it back to head shots, a driver with a head like an actual head shot. Bad. They were going to talk to you about their podcast. They're gonna talk you about whatever. I cannot listen to another conversation about a small business. I literally I love small business. It's insane. But I also don't want to hear like how long you've been driving for?

Like I just want to just I know more about my lift driver Jasmine from last night than I know about Bowen Yang. Yeah, who really does know Bowen? Though? Here you go, who really knows you? I'm intrinsically he does. I've been Joel combusted this whole time. Oh my god, it was Joel. It was Joel. Um, oh my god, these I was. I will say some solid I don't and I'm going to include myself in this solid. I don't think yes your own I'm not great. Thank you.

This was a dynamic episode. I pick a political honey. Yeah, we got a little pop cultural honey. We talked about our upbringing. Honey. That's an episode of Last culturesas right there. This is quintessential Last Colts, and it took a straight man in a red baseball cap to bring it out. We were wrong before and now we're right. John Gabriel Gabriel listen, raised my TV high mighty and just and Oliver TV. Everywhere you go. Um, this man is going place there. What do you want to say to everyone?

I miss you, guys, everyone people in general. John John Gabriel misses humanity. He's married, so I don't really know. Yeah, we'll catch him smoking out a joint outside and outside of his house in Hollywood. Draw us like you catch catch me walking in short shorts with a tiny dog smoking a joint in West Hollywood. Name Arthur. Oh, that's amazing, Arthur. I used to want to name my dog Anderson Cooper. But now no, Anderson Cooper. Dude left left hay out

to dry and I don't like that. Bring Arthur next time. We're gonna have gabs back, please, And you guys should come to high and mighty. At some points, I am very high, and might I have I have some littletables in your purse. Sativa. That's what I remember. I can't do. I can't do Indica because it makes me anxious and tired when it. Sativa makes me fucking Mattie and horny. That's what it is. That's what is right, Brett. How chatty and horny can I get? But not very? But

not a driver? You know you're never a driver if you're chatty and no, no, no, no, okay, Well great, this has been lost. Culture is death with John Gabriels, let's sing a song to close out, as we always do every night. In my dreams, I see a fear you. That's how I Know you Go on, and if you want to hear the rest of that song, go to listen to the Titanic soundtrack. Fye Bye Forever. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham,

Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.