"Break My Arm, Sexually" (w/ Max Silvestri)

out which is the Sesame Street. You know, the writers, the producers, they all come out to say that Burton Ernie are not gay. The Sesame Workshop has released his statements saying that they are not gay. They are best friends. But the writer, the creator of Burton Ernie um a gay man sort of said in an interview with Queer Ta, I believe that when he was writing, when he was conceiving them of them, that he had no other way

to view them. But as a couple, I have hooked up with Burt consistently since I moved to New York City, and I am willing to take a polygraph to that at Bert I will share this. His penis is shaped like a mushroom toadstool. Oh, we're really not unlike synthesizing news stories today, truly we are and I'm like I said, I'm willing to take a polygraph. I just think visibility is so important. And a lot of people have been asking me what I would say to Ernie. I don't

know what I would say. I don't know him, but this is but this is I don't know what the nature of the relationship is. I just know what my nature of with my relationship with Burt was. He's my lover and it's been like that for ten years. So I'm sorry, but it's it's really about truth and people understanding the truth. I am the Stormy Daniels of the

Sesame Street universe, and I will burn this to the ground. Actually, this is the thing about this is this The thing that I have an issue with with the Sesame work, with Sesame Workshop statement is that they ended by saying they share they identify as male, they share many qualities with human as humans that humans have um but they are puppets and therefore do not have a sexual orientation.

But then can be autistic. Puppets can be bitches, and dumpsters can be you know, birds can be walking around. It can be like Puerto weekend like whatever. Like they have race, they have mental, they can have every quality except not a sexual orientation. Interesting, and I'm here to say I'm so sorry that is Actually it might hurt a lot of people, but it's Ara. And then you know that we love to come out and scream erasure. Yes,

and we will continue to do that. And I, as the Stormy Daniels of the Sesame Street Universe, will continue to blow the whistle on this. And you will see me on television and on red carpets with my lawyer presidential hopeful Michael Abanati, who could break my arm. Sexually, I'm into it all right, Um, we don't have the time to impact all of that. I'm sexually into Avanati. Um okay, and uh, what's that. I don't know how our guests is going to feel about the title of

this EPP being I'm sexually but we'll find out. I would let's let's let's try to center on on his experience. I'm sorry, I'm just so emotional about today. So emotional. Okay. Our guest is a really really, really great This is a big big get funny man and like truly legs and dairy legend, dairy you know what I'm saying. Would you go to big terrific shows back in the day. Oh my god, Okay, so him gave Leeman Jenny's slate, like,

oh okay, one triumvirate. Truly, like in my conception, I'm a little zigo, like the first great Brooklyn show that like like came to my mind like that like Crops that like came on my dumb little radar back when I was like twenty in this stupid town. But it was I very much enjoyed the Comedy Lineup special. Oh and the Comedy Line Up special on Netflix. Maybe the quartadater space is open it up. He's the quarter hour space is really opening up, but in the digital space.

But I have to talk to him about some stuff that he covers that you're because he's here. He's here. We have to talk to him to talk about the school. Um, the school that he talks and I always think about that that's school and that was brave to cover all this. Thank god, he's a game. We can talk to him

about it. And he's a writer for the amazing show Big Mouth A season two drops October, the same thing, which is really kind of kind of Tago war from my attention on that, You're like, oh, do I go for Bradley and Gaga or Millennium and truly the the the Bradley and Gaga of the of the ligital space, digital space. Um, he's so funny, he's so great, he's just really the best person. Cut cutie. Everyone, Welcome into your years, Max. Wow, thank you guys. That was a

really really wonderful intro. You know, that's we we here's the thing. Just to make it clear, I liked I like my arm being broken sexually, so that is helpful, right from Yeah, he's the type I would like, you know, yeah, if you were to swing that way, yeah, it would be you'd be an avanti gay. Oh. I don't think of it as like, okay, yeah, being gendered or any kind of binary. It's more just like, whoever is going to break my arm sexually needs to be strong enough

to do it. It It does seem like he could seem like the Sesame Street. It doesn't matter what's going on below the weights. It's just about that he physically has the power to break the bone and muscle. I mean, there's so much sin you it's like difficult. There's a reason we don't just fall and break all the time.

There's so much you're talking about your own sinor yeah, all of if you've ever just like asked a friend like break my arm, Like even if they're trying, he looks like guess, And maybe that's what we need in someone that's going to head up against Trump. And I know it's too early talking about guys. The mid terms right around the corner. Oh my god, fifty days now

less when this one comes. I'm doing a weird d register campaign right now, which among people in my community, I'm just like, the roles are too big, you know, unless you've really thought it through, get off those and mail. It's more about the environment, and so where where are you doing this stuff Florida? Like what like taxes? That'd be smart to actually do it on the ground. I'm more just like I'm reaching out to people over d M and being like, are you registered to vote on register?

Here's the link to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, if you, if you, and then and then it's like a sort of like a not a pyramid thing, but it's like you tell them to go to five people, and the truth is is like if you know, um, very little information about someone, you can just de register them on your own. I mean, you know, like if you like look at someone's mail, you have most of what you need. You listen to podcast, I probably know all your security words. Anyone out there could do you

register us? No, I'm certain that you could steal my identity. I'm certain of it. You know what truly happened the other day, I want to go cast my vote for Miss Cynthia. That it didn't go our away. Didn't go our away. Um. By the way, that's what my mom texted me the day after the Electuly. She said, well, that didn't go our way, but no one asked for my ID. Really, no, I know they've been that's not I also heard that a lot from people. It's a fame.

The General's people. People in your district are like so I think are They were like, um, yeah, we know who you are. Oh my god. People volunteering. I'm sure right, Um. But the thing is I was like this is crazy, and then a dark thought ran through my mind. Yeah. I was like I could go to so I could just be like, my name is um and just know my friends that aren't like growing kind of scoop, right,

in there vote twice. You have all your various wigs and costumes on like a like a you know, like a thing you're pulling in like a big chest on wheels or whatever. You're like, I gotta run outside for a second. Yeah, A lot of my wigs are like kind of red and curly. People like, oh, wow, Benda, you haven't wrote it in so long. We're so happy to have you back here. You are registered in South Slope I and technically committing voter fraud. I will say,

how is that. I will just confess it on the pod on the record, and I will just change this. But I'm registered in Colorado. I pay my taxes here. It's it's voter fron California voter. I am a California voter, which is you know, there's a rule following part of me that was just like, well, I want to get a Actually it's because I wanted to get a marijuana cart, so I had to change my d m V stuff.

So I was like, well in New York, it's just as useless in l A. But um, my partner of many years, like, she has family in San Diego that is like, and I'm like, oh, we should we're there a lot, were there enough that it would not be fraudulent, like like it's her parents spent half the year there and we're there a lot, and it's just like I should do. That's just as much as being like I never unregistered from my college town or whatever, like, just to actually have a vote that matters. So the point

is if you are registered, get off those roles. It's it takes five seconds registered? Do you registered to vote? Um, I know someone that just reregistered in Michigan. That's all I'll say about that. I think I know who this is, and I think it's a smart strategic move. But he doesn't live there. But there's very much not living there, all right. But we have to fight fire with fire. In fact, that's what Michael Avanadi said. That might be

his campaign slogan, no joke, fight fire with fire. Otherwise they're going to break your arm and you're not gonna like it as much. And I always say that I saw Darren Chris in his suit last night on the Emmy's I said, I'd let that man break my arm, you know, like give him an extra Emmy for the performative heterosexuality. I think he I think he's the real deal. I had a barbecue at my house and I'm a fan of his work and I loved American Horror Story. Um.

He a friend that came invited him. It was the day after he'd gotten the Emmy nomination. I think they they'd had a bit of a party the night before, like a surprise thing for him, but because it was a party, they didn't eat the cake that was made for his uh, that his like wife got for him.

And so just in this last minute invite to come to this barbecue at my house, they brought the cake and they were being silly about it and embarrassed, but ultimately did put down with like a handful of homemade complers a cake that said like congratulations on your Emmy. No, no no, Darren, like my barbecue. Yes, it wasn't like my birthday or anything, but it was just like this beautiful like Matt chocolate. It was like a gorgeous cake but next to like you know, stuff that friends and

I had cooked. And it was appreciated, but also like they suddenly got embarrassed and we're like should we wipe the words off? And I was like that feels you don't have to do that, but then they did. They felt so bad because they didn't want to be It was just like, we have a full cake. Straight It would have been way more queer and radical to just lay that cake on the table and be like, this is my party. Now, I take it back, I take

it back. He seems um. I loved his sou and I was like, but he was very you have a fly suit. A straight man who wears that kind of suit is too much of an ally and there might be such a thing. But the suit of the night was your friend John Malanya Emmy winner John mulaney, can be unbelievable. That light blue suit. That was? That was that was. I always say if I ever go to the Emmy's I'm wearing a color. Yeah, I'm wearing a

canary yellow. And I think it's hard for like kind of like boring ish white guys to pull off color without seeming yeah ironic or like, oh, like, he looked good. I thought it looked classy, not just like transgressive or whatever. Well, I feel like in the past few years he is up to the glam factor in a major way. Someone's styling kid gorgeous, kid gorgeous? Is that Karat is that the doing of Kara Maslin. It might be Kara Maslin

got a shout out. Kara Maslin's and our sister, Our sister are What I loved about his speech is that he thinked the assistance and they and I got an applause break. Huge deal, um Max, we have to talk about the school. First of all, everyone should listen to. Everyone should listen watch. You could listen to what you could watch it. It's a it's an audio visual experience. I think Netflix stuff. They don't. They should advertise more. Just put it on while you drive, as long as

you don't lock the screen. It's like there's some act outs, but you'll get it. You're not staring at the TV at home now. But it's it's noise. You know, you have your car iPad, you put in your headphones, you throw it on the passenger sides, you know for footwell, that feels right. Yeah, a lot of ways to enjoy this one totally. Anyway. This sponsor podcast is sponsored by Footwell. Um they send you socks perfectly molded to your feet once a month Footwell. Check them out. Use code. Wow. Wow,

she's gonna she's gonna love that. He's gonna text us immediately. I see Max can read ad copy better than we can. Ye, honestly, you want to be improvised it. I mean, you know it used to be a bad TV host, you know I can. What did you host on the television? Was? It was a cooking show. I had three food shows, all failed after one season very quickly. Let let's let's run through them, because because I I needed I need

a little because I'm fascinated. Um, and let's let's first acknowledge that this is brave for me to acknowledge this. I've been obviously spent years trying to rebrain it, get people like you younger up and you know, like the future, to forget that. That was sort of my path. I had a show with Gail Simmons and Marcus Marcus Samuelson, like a talk show thing called The Feed. The Feed, that's a great title thing. It was kind of like top Gear, which I also don't watch, but about food

instead of cars. Uh. You know that audience is almost too obvious. It's like they're all right here, you know. Uh. And then I did a show that was kind of like the amazing Race meets Chopped that was like dangerous it was called pressure Cooker and couples. God, I've done. Do they run with cutlery? Kind of yeah, yeah, culture number six you cannot run with cutlery, You're gonna stab an eye out, which would have made for good television.

More people would have watched the episode where they had to like have v O at the end explaining why there's no footage. But no, the idea was like a couples like brothers, sister, husband, wife, etcetera. One who's a professional cook, one who's bad. Three teams would be dropped in a state they've never been in. Um. They would get like clues basically to um where grocery stores were. They weren't allowed to use GPS, only had to flip phone, so half of the show was kind of like a

you know, like the like weird uh. They'd be trying to get to some grocery store, but then like a herd of sheep would cross the road and they're like honey, and they'd be fighting. And then they got the grocery store and they're like, we're only liquor store and they're like we only have twenty minutes to get and then the and then it was outdoor cooking for the second half in the vista of like we did Portland, Maine, Philly. It was like then localized. I mean it was crazy.

That's incredibly you need so many skills to be good at that. Oh my god. Yeah. And then I did a show on Bravo called Recipe for Deception that was even more complicated. What's the deception? Okay, yeah, what is this? So it was kind of like chopped and that you had, like I guess it was four shift was like one on one, one on one, and then the winners would face off, so three rounds each had to make a

dish with a secret ingredient. The trick was they didn't know their own secret ingredient, but the other chef did, so they were allowed at the top of the show to ask three questions of the other chef yes or no questions to narrow down their secret ingredient, and that chef answered with two truths in a lie. Jesus. It was like you needed to paper. It was a mob

a mobius strip of a reality. I had to do so much a d R trying like as they tried to piece the story of each thing because they'd be like so like the whole show is that weird, hushed padma Top Chef style like a d R done years later. Uh, just me being like, so right now Doug is trying to cook a shrimp dish, but he misunderstand the clue. That was the lie lie clue. His ingredient is actually marshmallow. He's got nothing sweet going. I like it was the same,

Agree it was. It was a lot and then like at ten minutes they got to ask one more question if they got it right, if they guessed it with this a lie. They then got to ask a fourth question. It was it was a little bit doomed, just fun to make, manifold. Are you a food show fan? Now? You know? Um, that stuff came out of me, like writing Eater and grant Land recaps of shows for many many years, and I think all that time spent watching and having to be like, you know, look for the moment,

find the animated Jeff or whatever. Um. After those shows, I like, I have not watched any of them, but not out of any like I'm above it or beyond it, just being like I can't jump back into Top Chef. I think it's a good show. But yeah, yeah, totally I have to say, I have a blind spot for like food show same. I try to watch Nail Did, but I feel that the stakes are I know that the whole point is that like it's it's their stakes

aren't there. But and I do love Nicole. That was also my fourth show The stakes aren't there, which is people. It was like a butchery cut off, but they didn't know where their stakes were, so they would have to follow a map that was only half real. Live stare there.

And so someone would say that in every episode organically they would be would it would be like a plate and they revealed the plate and the stakes wouldn't be there and there, and then the show would begin, and then I will say that, um, speaking of stakes, A Great British Bakeoff has turned me around. I watched that religiously now because it's sort of like diametrically opposite from what we're used to. It's just so it's so genteel

and it's so like lovely. And I used the acronym incorrectly all the time, I'm sure, but it's a like a SMR, you know. Like we literally in our new apartment, my girlfriend and I like we were like, we're not going to have a TV in the bedroom. We used to we watched too much TV in the bedroom, but we put one back on the dresser just for ten

minutes of Great British Bakeoff before bed. It is the most soothing tonight cap It's a it's a fun little I think what's missing from Great British Bake Off from me is the cutthroat, bitchy quality that I need, which is why I think I'd like Top Chef. You're never going to get that from g BB. No, I'm not, I know, but like I didn't think I was gonna like Project Runway, and then I started watching Project Runway and I loved it because they're truly nasty, right, But

Padma's Padma's fantastic. I haven't seen that much. Top Chef either was wonderful. She's really really Yeah. I got to meet her and hang out with her once, since she

was everything I wanted her. What happened was is that like, uh they I got to guest judge on an episode of Top Chef, like kind of his cross promotion from my yes, so um, someone in the Bravo marketing department was like, you know, we've got you there where we're filming for the day, we should do like kind of a web you know, like, well, let's do this thing where you maybe do like a funny kind of sketch with Padmo. You know, we have her for twenty minutes

or whatever. Right, So, before I even pitched anything out there, like and just you know, some ground rules with Padma, you know, you know, like obviously she loves to great sense of humor about herself, loves to have fun, you know, like she's up for anything, though, you know, no jokes that makes it seem like she doesn't know about food. Uh, no jokes that undercut this nothing that points out like it was kind of an intense, like calculated like don't

do that. But then the idea I pitched was like, well, I am genuinely in awe of her and not as experienced as her. Why don't we do a thing where I play up being like a nervous new food host interviewing the queen, and just like I can just be kind of bad at it, and she can be a little like condescending and her and they're like, yeah, we're totally gonna tell her about that, Like that'll be great, and like it seems easy. She can just lean into

what she does and I can do whatever. So we're placed in this tiny, little unair conditioned green room like that clearly interrupts her hair and makeup for the real and she's like, I'm doing a favor for the like Bravo Web department, but obviously yeah yeah. And she's sitting there and like her, you know, like hair and makeup birds are flooding around, and I'm just like, no, it's fine,

I'll sweat through this suit. I don't care at all. Genuinely, I'm sitting there kind of almost like knee to knee with her because it's like a tight one camera, two shot or whatever, and no one really introduces me or someone's like, uh, patma, this is Max. He's he's he's gonna be judged it, but he's also he's hosting Recipe for Deception. She just kind of does like a nod and looks at me, clearly not prepped, not ready to

do the sketch, and so off camera. Um, she's like looking at me and she's like, so, like, so, what is what is your show that you're hosting? And I say, well, it's called Recipe for Deception. It's it's gonna be on after Top Chef this this coming season. And uh, you know, so it's a it's a food competition show. I mean, it's not like yours, it's not Top Chef. It's kind

of more like Chopped, kind of like one offs. And she's like, I've never seen Chopped such a neverent way, and I was like, yes, of course, I guess what I mean is it's not a King of the Hill. Is just there's four chefs, and the thing is they don't know their secret. And she's just staring at me like unblinking, you know, statuesque as I just like bluff burr and fast talk and like blank blank blank blank. And I'm like, so anyway, they're really getting away from you.

And You're like, I'm totally. I'm like, so, you know, they don't know, but it's kind of fun and they lie, and so there's a little bit of pustling and uh and she's just just like, you know, if you're going to be hosting the show, a lot of people are going to be asking you what the show is about, so you should probably get good at answering that question in under twenty seconds and then looks away from me and the producers just like, yeah, that's the energy we

were thinking Padbot, like perfect, perfect whole interview when it's just me motor mouthing. The thing is, I've there. I have one experience, um where somebody I think they didn't mean anything by it, but shook me to my car, which was my Seinfeld experience. I booked a thing Comedians and Cars like years ago, where I played um, Jerry Seinfeld and Michael Richards Michael Richard's assistant and so Jerry, I guess you're crumbling down all my beliefs about the

veracity of comedians and cars. Jerry, I guess, doesn't shake hands. Yeah, So I went up to shake his hand because he actually had cast me for the part like he was when I when I auditioned, Like no one knew that was gonna happen. It's like for this tiny part like thing Crack days right well back when they were doing like sketch and Michael Richards was like he played like the head of Crackle. That was the whole thing, Okay, And so basically what happened was I'm there on set

and I'm excited. It's the first thing I've ever booked and it's Seinfeld and so I booked it in the room, I mean he chose me. And then then he called me and he was like, Matt, come in here. I was like, he knows my name. Oh my god. I go up and it's him and it's like, um, this like a guy who's like his head writer. And I go to shake his hand and I say, this is so, this is such an honor, thank you so much. He goes,

I don't shake hands, and I was like okay. And then I was he goes, this is my head writer. This is so and so. And I go to shake his hand and he goes, I don't shake hands either, and I go oh for two. And they cocked their head and they were like, well, this is gonna be great. And I was like, okay, hadn't shot one thing, and I was like ruined that man. My energy in those situations is I would be like, well, I ope, you're

a hugger. You know. I'm always over, Like when I sense a waiter not liking like light bits at the top of the I'm just like, well, I'm I'm doubling down, like I'm going to have like a whole routine of where the menus are like it's as she just loses patience and I just keep like getting sweatier and like my collar getting looser or whatever I've taken as well, What do you have any experience with the celebrity where you were like, throw you you have to see a

lot of celebs. But what are my experiences? I don't know. Here's a good one we can share, Okay, what So we did Vulture Festival. We were like hosting at Vulture Festival. We were doing like the press room and Julianna Margharie and the publicist runs in and she's like, I don't know what this is. But Juliette coming in and you know, she's Julianna Margolis, Like she doesn't do like this. She was like, she's like what if you guys have planned, she's probably not gonna be game to do it. Just

just forget about it. And she's really cold, by the way, it's really cold in this place, and she's freezing. She's freezing. She has prepared answers about process and we were like, oh my god. We were in these ridiculous suits, were like not journalists were like, oh my god, it's like Vulture fest, like right, the RuPaul's drag Riss recaps, that's

the only reason. First move is to touch everyone's hair, like literally like we had just done something with Jonathan Jonathan van Ness where we were just like screaming, like screaming, and then Julianna comes in and we were so terrified. It was Marty Well, first it was Marty Knox in yes, who was a queen legend. And then um, oh may may something that actress in Dietland. Yes, fantastic, So it

was it was for some Dietland pressed thing. So Marty and this actress come in and then Julianna comes in just clenched at her biceps, just like it's so so cold in this room? Is is it gonna be as cold and this from as it is in the other room, And we were like, oh my god, no, this is really going to happen. Were journalists were also in charge of the temperature in all these rooms, so glad you asked? So then she sits down and then like the cameras

start rolling and then what do we do? I mean like this is all blurting me honest, Well, basically it was like at that point it's like, well, we're still going to be us, you know what I mean. So then we start playing going to suddenly I'm not gonna like I don't I wouldn't know what to ask Joanna

Margarlies about her process, like we we didn't know. So we end up doing like a bit with her and she actually was gained to do it, and then so basically like by the end of it, she was like, oh, like super like down the clown and like, why doesn't my team let me do more bits? And then like that that kept happening to like throughout the thing, like the publicity people would come in and they'd be like, m this is gonna be the way it is, and

don't straight from it and don't ask this question. And literally one celebrity came in and we were asked explicitly while he was right there this the publicist was like, do not ask any questions about their personal life, and he made a face at me like I'm so sorry. I was like, yeah, I mean of course we would. I feel like, yeah, publicists are often those people's worst enemy of like they're being they're making everyone hate that person on their back. But it's like about the publicist thing.

But I also think it's probably there's some actors that are like, I mean, it's just so fun comedians, I'd love to do bits and then like having the past done the like Liam Neeson and that Ricky Gervais show where he's like wants to do an improv and just like keep saying as full blown age. There's clearly actors who like should be protected from riffing off the top of their head where the publicist is like, you were going to say such a horrible thing if you're allowed.

And then but by the end of the Julianna interview, she came over does and she said, quote, well, you two are a hoot and holler. And then she said she said to me and she goes, you know, you could be Matt Bohmer's little brother. And I was like wow. I literally looked her in the eyes and I was like, that's the best thing anyone's ever said to me. She was like very kind. And but that's the thing is, it's like you don't know who's who's telling the truth there.

It's it's a weird situation because it's like the publicists probably has been told by the celebrity before, like how dare you let me do that? But also you know they're overcompensating because they don't want to be put in that situation. I always think every like I watched all of the Good Wife really like Julianna Margarlie, She's amazing. But I remember reading a thing um probably on Vulture that like uh Les moon viz r I P thank god had had. I guess the only way Julianna link

was is it Julianna Julianna, Juliana, Julianna Julianna. The only way she was willing to do The Good Wife after obviously being doing the grind of an hour drama for so many years and she didn't want to get back on those waters is she's like, I'm not gonna straighten my hair and do hours in the chair to play this like waspy, like whatever's wife. So she's like, if we can figure out a wig situation and didn't like her, you know, her hair the whole time. It's like a

very expensive wig. So she could go up and plug it in and save herself like you know, over the eight seasons, but that it was like such a success to convince like this lead nervous about the TV that we like that wigs or the future that Les Moon Viz would like farm out Julianna Margati's to like sit down with other actresses nervous about doing TV or taking weird character swings, being like, no, no, you can do

it in a wig. Like Julianna will have like show and she would she be like, I'd love to talk to other actors about how great it is to just wear a wig every days. But I just what used to like imagine these like weird generals or whatever at the self Beverly Grill just being like, you know, oh my god, that's crazy. Your kids go to cross roads and like, oh we thought it anyway, bigs Okay, yeah,

we'll do the Artichok tips of wigs. You know, like, what is your experience in the past been with the whigs? Because the technology is whatever, That technology is crazy. It's moving quickly. Because now I'm trying to think back to the Good Wife and think, was there ever a time when she was I was like that, when it was like pulled back or something. Yeah, your kids going to cross roads? My god. And the thing is I'm happy you brought up Less Moon Vez because I've been waiting

to talk about this on the pod. So Julie Chen is going to leave the talk. Just saw that headline today, right.

We're triumphant about it because she came after us. She came after us because at that very same Vulture Festival, we interviewed Tracy Morgan and maybe you don't remember this, but there was that weird thing about Tracy Morgan's talking about Tiffany Hattish like that, but they worked together, yes, And so we we were doing and we didn't even know Tracy was coming, and no Harry publicist ran in and said, we were told all day Tracy is not doing this room. Were like, great, and was he doing

press for? And so then he finally comes in and then he sits down and he's giving us great vibes, and then like we start the interview. And then the first thing we asked him is, uh, congrats on the lasto G. How does it feel to be working with all these great actors um like Tiffany Harnish And then

he goes, we're not going to talk about her. He said that, Yeah, he said that, And then but then it became this thing that he became this longer meditation about how it takes so many people to make a successful TV show, and he's memorized every crew member's names, and it was a beautiful sort of he was on that if you're going to ask about Tiffany, asked about said, ask about the crew, asked about craft services, and he's like, I know all their names, and so I'm thinking, like

we're doing a little bit of a bit now, but he's hard to read. So then the way it was edited down and the way it got picked up in the media was like Tracy Morgan talk about Tiffany Haddish. So they planned on the talk and Miss Julie Chen says, I'm sorry, Julie. Sorry, Julie invest signing off confidently standing with her abuser husband important to nail this home is

the real big brother. So Julie Chen Moonves says, you know, I thought it was really kind of disrespectful of the interviewers to ask a question about the co star when the star of the show was sitting right there. When meanwhile, a to act like she's never asked someone about their co star and her entire journalistic career is truly insane and be the whole point of what he was saying was shine a light on other people, all the stars.

So it was truly insane. So like Julie Chen Moonvez's downfall is one that we are we're we're just fine with, We're just fine with. I mean, yeah, he's the Howard stuff today was interesting Howard Howard sting that came after and after and both of them. I mean it it feels hard to it's hard to separate the total him when you're you know, like a badass unit. Yeah. Well

he was like, how are you going to leave? Like you're going to leave the talk and like where women talk about these things that to slap in the face two women, you know, to side and he was mainly saying to side with Les Moonves right now. Totally truly crazy. Yeah, but I mean, of course, like, of course she is right. Of course, of course I think she's old school. But that's a very good wife narrative, very good wife narrative.

My god, that's definitely like an easy thing to put in the like, like, well for season three, we're thinking that, you know, like just really thought it out. But how was a good show The Good Wife? Huh? So I haven't watched the new Yeah, here that's great. Yeah, I I never I never got into I'm still in the the first couple of seasons where it's still like a procedural.

I still like The Good Wife. I feel like the reason it's hard to get into The Good Wife is because now you have all these prestige shows that are like twelve episodes, and The Good Wife was still harkening back to the era four episodes seasons, and it's just like, really, we'll see. I don't love um cooling out with comedy as far as binging goes, like, that's just like if I'm cooking or whatever, that's usually not what I want

to put on. But Good Wife is a show where like, because it's twenty four episodes, because it's only semi serialized, it's not like, well, I gotta sit down and watch my homework. It's like blowing through four at a time while I'm like half paying attention. You know, I maybe have missed some scenes totally. That's interesting that you feel like, So do you feel like when you are watching comedy shows, other comedy shows that you're not working on, it feels

like homework. No no, I was talking about prestige drama homework, but comedy is just it's more the serial serialized thing where I there's so much TV to watch that people will be like, well, you have to check out this comedy show, and I'll watch it and like it, but

it will never occur to me to keep watching. So why I thought Search Party was so effective of just like give you the thinnest not that it's thin, but just like just a little bit of a thread that I want to watch the next one, rather than being like, okay, that felt that felt good. Anytime I do watch good comedies, I enjoy them. I just mostly I'm like, I'd rather watch this show about you know, a pile of dead British children found you know in a rectory or whatever.

You know, I don't so fucking into When it was on The Killing, Oh my god, that was the thickest, darkest show you could ever imagine. It was truly like and then that show would happen because it was it was thirteen episodes whatever, they would just have three episodes were being like, oh, you know, you know, like you know, when we found that like the pile of kid toes, we thought that was probably the guy that has been

cutting off kids heads. It actually and that was just a separate, separate kid toe thing that's not really central as kids are alive. And and by the way, here's thirteen minutes of the mother from last season still heaving. Stop. Remember remember all the deep grief we thought we at least would move past that. We'll just come back around

to scream about you know, I love that. The height it was like the first two seasons was still based on that first case of the girl, and then the third season was I think they took like a year off and then they came back and they were like the heightened was fifteen times more dead kids. It was like you thought there was just one. No bitch, we're killing a lot of kids. And we had to get a bigger back co from Oregon to come clean out

the dead kids. We filled a swamp full a dead kid and some of the dead kids had kids, and like their kids are underneath. Did you watch the Killing? Now? I watched the Killing with someone I was dating, and I remember it was I guess we were in a dark place because I was dating this guy and we were watching the Killing and then like the first time we were gonna like hook up, he goes you know what album we have to listen to Adele. This this is the real thing that happened. This is a psychopath.

And I was like, okay, so our life is devastating. It didn't work out. But I mean like every time he said that he heard from a friend, it's like like that that was the good album to hook up to. Know why I did that? That is like your your Pavlov That sets the mood. Anytime it's like, you know, an album, we have to listen to Adele and you're like, you know what, I'm gonna take a quick shower of

hand job too, don't you remember? Oh my god, that's like someone yeah, wanting to get blown to, like Blue by Joanie, Like yes, put on put on de'angelo, anything else. I masturbate to bosh the show on. I don't watch it. I just need to have, you know, some saxophone sounds of him driving around away. Here's a sexy question. Music or no music during the sexy time? Oh, I've done either, but I love it. I love a good little soundtrack soundtrack.

I almost never listen to music, like there's something about it. There's music on in the house, but like there's there's such an artifice not that like sex, especially in a long term relationship, doesn't have quite a bit of artifice around right anyway, But like there's such a I've always felt so self conscious about the vibe of like picking a playlist any time I would read like a New York mag sex diary or something like real thing of someone being like, oh they always had sex to like

this R and B album. I'm like, you, like go to your phone and like cast it to your Apple TV, Like you know this song is a little too like bass heavy or like I just also the intensity of it can creep up on you, Like I remember my ex boyfriend, like the second or third time we had sex like one plus one by Beyonce Come On, which is about being eternally in love and having like true ground swell like love making, And she's like, what should

you want to hold Beyonce thing? You might do a shuffle and like like one of your own like voice memos, like there's a good bit a voiceover audition from your voice memo, just being like you whatever, like trying to like something. It's a footwell and so the footwell. It said that they were looking for naturalistic, but then the guy they went with I mean this guy's theater train. I mean he's booming here. I'm like, you're like in someone. Um wait, but that's not to say that you have experience,

of course blasting the classical music. So that the Now we're going to get back to what you said, Bowen, which was about in the special, it's revealed that during during metime you had to block out the sounds of the children who went to the elementary school that you lived next. Literally, yes, that's a horrifying thing. Yeah, so I mean, do either you guys live in Williams work. Okay, So it's the school on Metropolitan and Leonard. It's like

it's like a it's a grade school. And like something I forgot with the bit is that most people that know schools and like the suburbs, like there is grass and there are like things to climb on and fields like city schools are just like sound. It's it's asphalt and like cage and brick, yeah, and traffic right there and like so this sound was that much and the kids didn't have anything to do except scream run around

in a circle. Yeah exactly, just screaming each other. And like I was writing at home alone and constantly procrastinating and like ten feet away and was always I don't talk about this as much in the bit, but I like I I like, at some point, all these people that have come out as um like dark perverts in a way that's gotten I don't want to misuse a term perfect brix perversion implies a certain normally you know, but that have come out is like, oh, there's something

graduated to like sexual assault or like disrespect other people. At some point, like at some point they did cross the threshold and just be like, oh the thing that I I didn't mean to jerk off in front of someone the first time that I did, but like but it didn't kind of have huge consequences and that was like definitely the best time I ever jerked out. Like that's at some point, as circumstances came together. They weren't like I imagine and I don't know and not a psychologist.

They weren't born with an impulse to just be like, you know, that's specifically what it's you know, like it things happen and escalator whatever. So I weirdly like always living next with school just felt like I'm just an adult with weird thoughts, and I watch pornography and I like, but there's just innocence there and I don't know, you're giving this all the the appropriate contours, I think, so

thank you for doing that. But that is crazy though. Yeah, they're there, and also they're the that's the loudest stage you can't and you're in your special about like it's truly just when you get to recess, you just scream and the kids just screaming, and you're in your home that you own. Yeah, and you're well within your rights to procrastinate quote unquote any time anyway you would like. If anything, they've transgressed by putting their screams into my

personal space. I'm doing due diligence to keep my business out of theirs. You know. If anything, they should come knock at the door and thank me. You know what, that's exactly what I want. And actually that's the thing I just discovered. That teacher knocking on my door and thanking me just as I finished is my thing. Hey, just we all very much. Yeah, it also used to be and I don't I guess it's because I would

like be thinking about weird stand up premises. Well, there was children around like they always used to park busses on my street and around the corner that would have these signs in the back that said um, like printed out on paper taped to the back door window that said, um no sleeping children inside. And I think it was a thing of like just someone has checked, the bus can drive away. There's not like we know all the

kids are off the bus. We don't have a situation where it's like in the heat of a depot in Queens. Just like the idea of like that was like like who would volunteer for that job? Just like I love to check check for kids. Yeah, and they're these kids are like exhausted, they haven't had breakfast. They just oh my god. Yeah, I'll carry them out. No, no, no, trust me, trust me. I'm really good. Yeah, I'm really I can respond. Yeah. No, I'll take my shoes off

before you get in the bus. So I don't wake them. You're welcome to wake them. That's actually a big part of it. No, you can't wake they're angels because then we won't know if they're sleeping. Were the sleeping So anyway, I got fired because I kept putting up a sign that said no sleeping angels, and they said, you have to say no sleeping children angels. So take yourself back

to the time when you were the angel, the angelic Cheruba. Sure. Yeah, And now we'll ask you the question that we ask all of our guests, which is Max, what is the culture that made you say? Culture is for me? This is a piece of culture or just a larger cultural concept like the town you grew up in, or a movie, a book, a play, whatever it is that sort of

set you off in this path. Um. You know, I gotta say the culture um for me, that both kind of like I don't know, taught me about the first culture I got obsessed about, obsessed about like part of the fun for me and culture and Internet has made it a little bit easier. Is like searching out more of a thing and being able to find a thing and knowing more about it and being a completist. In this collection vibe, it's something millennial and I'm right on

the edge. You guys get it. Uh, But it was goose Bumps, the original goose Bumps here mr st Mr arl Stein, And you know I never got into the later like he you know, he continues to create the franchises keep like bubbling out. But for you know, when I first got into them, and like I guess maybe it was like the fourth, fifth, sixth grade. Um, I was like always a super reader as a kid, Like

I was an only child. We did a lot of like road trips for my parents, like work and stuff, and I could read in the car, so they library books and books. They were always happy to like whatever you need. But that was the first thing where I'm like, oh, this is number two, and like you go in a certain Walden books and they have like one, seven, ten, and fourteen, but it's like, oh, I've never seen six around. Like the idea of ordering online and all that stuff

didn't exist. So like it was this excitement of like collection, a collection of like I want them all, I want to read them all. I want to have a bookshelf that shows all the pretty colors of like one through forty.

So that like prime set of goose bumps, like was when I became in middle school in high school, like obsessive about my fandom about or just about the completest thing is important here because it's just about filling a set or of just having a thorough breadth of everything about this one thing and saying I know every thing about this and saying I'm the guy that has like more goose bumps than you, like, you know, like a kid being like, oh I read that one. I'm like,

well did you read all the other ones? And you know, and I feel like that weird. I'm a little o C d uh, just a little obsessive in some ways. And there's the ability to be like, well, I want to read them in order. I want I want to know all the side stories. And you know, I'm just gonna like and going this little thing and I'm gonna write I'm gonna a word document that has the list of the ones I had, Like all that's mellowed in my adult you know, learning about priorities and such, But

as middle schooler, that was the beginning of that. So there's a lot of things that came out of that. That's a great one. Was that an entry point until like you're liking more scary ship it? Weirdly it like for me. For me, it wasn't because as a fellow goose bumps, now this is it's all coming not to me. It wasn't about horror. It was just about the franchise. But yeah, and they were like I think it was definitely about getting into novels. They were page turners in

a way that not all chapter books. Y a chapter books, I don't even need all that why it's almost younger than that. But like a lot of times they weren't scary. They're almost silly. But every two page chapter just ended with like uh And then Shelly opened the closet and there was a shark and you turn the page to be like, actually, it was a stuff Doug left that

I forgot. They were like that are like foll your feet out from you, like nothing there, Like it's just like the thinnest of mysteries and you go to the next gooey number and the chap and also like that started my my fandom for trippy fonts. I don't know if everyone knows that I love trippy fonts. I think letters are melting, or they wet or they sweating. I think that's kind of a big thing. I think they're gooey. I think they don't think. I don't think it's more

more complicated than that. Okay, best in the series for you, um are you staying out of the basement? Queen not of the Living dummy, not living dummy. And I actually like, I haven't even seen the new Ghosts goose Bumps movie. It's like it's not hitting like it no longer. I don't have that connection to it. When the I saw the trailer for the new one, say you were like, oh yeah, it like brought this stuff out and sloppy

as iconic, sloppy as canon slappy, don't. I mean he is the like iconic scary ventriloquist dummy, you know, like that those those eyebrows, the mouth, I looks like us. He looks like he looks like Teddy Perkins from Atlanta. Right, did you watch it this season? Like I've seen that episode I watched, but but Donald Glover is in whitefaced as this crazy looking person, and it just looks I think whoever vision boarded this, whoerever like whatever sloppy on

his reference absolutely guaranteed. I was talking with um somebody the other day about like they were like, why isn't there like an alt comedy ventriloquist, And I really think that like ventriloquism, like I was into magic. I was into comedy as a kid, Like I like the idea that stuff like vul it seems so hard. It seems so hard, Like, no, no person who's doing a joke about ventriloquism is going to learn how to do it,

to learn to be good at both things. Yeah, I was trying for the longest time to either build or buy or commission like a robot like like like a like a robot head face thing that would just like do comedy with you that I would like program things to say, but also like you could program it to blow you. I couldn't mean that's what he's eventually and like you're like recursive learning it like it would you wanted to. I wanted to. You want it to decide to learn to blow You don't want to. You don't

want to. You're not. It's not your because then that's just too much of a god complex. But if it also want it could it could replace carams lit Oh my god, wait, goose Bumps, Okay, you guys need to

say no to more things. Oh my god, wait, but you know what, you know what I'm realizing now it's goose Bumps is bleeding in with me with are You Afraid of the Dark, which also was for you that was very like are you afraid of Dark as a weird show where I used to babysit on Saturday nights, um like when I was maybe in like a second grade or something like that. And snick and are You Afraid of Dark? Was like big, that'd be right before they'd come home. That would be the last thing I thought.

People in Hollywood like, I didn't know it was Canadian until I was like nineteen years old, and like everyone is just like, you know, what are you being so like nervous about it? Like come on, like it's just a deep Canadian show. But I thought that's what Like the child actor accent was, Oh they talked different. That's like, I don't know, it's not the Valley, but it's like that must be just l A not knowing it was just it's a weird It's it's like this. It's everybody

just like, come on, we gotta be serious. I just didn't know. I don't do a great Canadian But they don't sound they don't sound like that show was truly scary. Are You Free of the Dark was you? We've talked about this on the pod before, but there's also sticky letter also are You Free of the Dark? It was the Magic Match a slab Sarah. Fun it was big and bold design queen slap Sarah. But of course, I mean, listeners,

you've heard us talk about this episode before. But the iconic episode for me is the ta and or one of them one of a lizard turns into one of them, and then the girl has to decide which one is her friend, which one is the lizard, like who has become a Maori sister? Like in the talking you know it's she has to shoot one of them with water and guess what she shoots? You find out the wrong one? Oh my god, it ends? Why does it? Why does

water kill the real one's? It was a signs type they had twenty three Wait was Are You Afraid of the Dark? Do they have like three stories in each episode or was it? I think it was full. It was full. The first anthology, the first anthology theories. I mean that's and Tamara, Are You Afraid of the Dark was a precursor to everything. Ryan Murphy is just that

claim bold claim. I claim it boldly. Also, I just like I remember being just jealous of the bumper, the idea that like these it's kind of know each other and they all just like meat in the woods and it's like it all worked out with no cell phones. They're allowed out, like this is there a sexual energy here?

Like whatever? You know, Oh you're finally here the spot in the woods, sitting on the rock, boys might behind perkin, you know, the rough Yeah, and we throw sand onto the fire, and the sand was always the sexiest part. They would know the stand on the thing, snuff it would snuff it would. I forgot about the frame. I totally forgot about It's it's a sexy frame. But yeah, those kids, those kids had something. Man um, did you

watch the goose Bumps TV show? I watched the originally, but I think made me realize it was like after I kind of settle on the books, but they were doing one to one adaptations of the series I've read, but I remember realizing I'd gotten better reading. I remember realizing like, oh, these books must be pretty thin if they can get everything in one app sure, Like it wasn't like, well, we're the first book will be the first season we're thinking and it was just like, yeah,

that was it. That was There were two turns. You know, I've never thought about that, Like a good feeling that comes with like watch seeing your books in a row. Oh my god, like gorgeous. I don't even I didn't even realize I was doing this, but I do it with Harry Potter too, I like line them all up, and mother's me to to this day. I know, I know, I can totally, I can feel that in my body. How good that probably feels. But it bothers me so much that my Sorcerer's Stone is a paperback. Yeah, you

need them are hardcover. I need to go buy the You know, now that you're a successful adult ran with a wildly successful podcast empire, there is this company and I'm sorry I plug it correctly. I got in a gift from my girlfriend. Uh. They basically they will take any book you want, um and they will make a custom like binding and uh cover four it that you can have like four your like uh like art that

goes across all the books. So like my girlfriend and she especially loves the like Elena Ferrante novels, and like they have only ever been out in paperback in English, but like this company made hardcover versions and then and then made like a cover that like sits It's almost like an art piece that sits in your shelf. And like one image goes across and they do like custom

that's not like the catalog. It's worth it just to get the catalog on the mail because they like obviously have these demo wall bookshelves that are like all the classics but like all in like Sepia with the same fonts and just like batches of images across five So it just feels like looking at this like mural with your books. It's so hard. I'm rock hard. Promo code caramels. That's it. Okay, Well I have we we need to talk about Goosebumps more. Was it was it? U? No,

this is huge for me. This is huge for me Max because the series was very good. The series was a Fox. It was Fox. I was in Canada, it was white TV for for a minute. That's much where I watched it. But um, the Haunted Mask adaptation was masterful because the mask that they got, so it's basically this, they get this mask, they put it on. It's haunted, it's crazy, it has it does crazy things to the kids. Well it turns the kid evil. And the mast for it was truly like Emmy worthy props. Wait, was it

like a large mask green? Yes? Remember they it's like green Goblin style. It was like, yes, the art, like the art is very evocative, Like I would show you a picture and you would be like, oh my god, yes this is I think I also remember reading and this could be apocryphal. And all Stein's on Twitter, I'm sure he can correct this. Uh that for a lot of like that series, he would come up with the title in the cover image before the reverse engineered from there.

You know, like just this idea of like you know, the boy with the you know, wasp in his brain or whatever, but like and they just have like an age of like wasp eyes or something, and then like be like, okay, I can imagine that, like a kid's at camp and he gets whatever. Like I'm always very impressed by the business. The business you can pump them out. But because sometimes I'm gonna say something, sometimes the content

of the books didn't live up to the art. I mean it can't possibly, especially when that idea comes first. And I will say that, like part of this collector thing at birth in me was like the object, the physical object, and the hunt was as important to me in my fandom as the content. You know, Like I I in middle school in early high school, I got really into like Star Wars novels, like the expanded universe before all the prequels can for you, you know, I

I see that's another fandom. I like pulled my foot off the like I'll see the movies, but I'm not like, well, I've got a delete thrawn out of my database, like I live in a very casual way with that now. But I liked um. I liked holding them. I like the look of like it's trilogy and this like that. Even if the book was weird, I still was like, I'm still gonna read it all. I'm still gonna put it on the shelf, like I liked finding it and having it as much as you know, I was really hard,

like I was like on the Star Wars website. So it's very kind of and I know all about the novels that extended the universe and everything. So it's hard to see the movies now because they've literally thrown that all out, which is very confusing. Yeah, and I liked some of the choices they had made back then. Lucas, yeah all that. The kids, Yeah, the kids were great twins. Jaden and right, yes, Jaden and whatever. And now it's like in in um My God, what was the name

of the last movie? Last Jedi? You spoiler alert for people haven't seen The Last Jedi you find out that Ray has no familial connection to the Skywalkers at all, which is I guess was like their big reviews. It's very it's very uh, it's the big sci fi eighth grade. All our stories are important, and the point is you shouldn't just you shouldn't judge your own story if it doesn't match up to the ones in the big screen. It's true. Bo Burnham, What's up at Me? Following that

was the movie what I mean? And he was a great interview at Multura Fest. He was so nice. He was a sweetheart, so sweet. Have you met him? No? Yeah, yeah, I know him a little bit. Oh No, I didn't want to ask you. I want to ask would really quickly?

Have you met all? That's what I was. No, he is at really he has done the monologues for ASCAT I think a couple of times, like one time he did that shown, which is like they do a monthly late night show with I've been there, I've been at u c be like several times when he's like rolling through when they're like preparing the green room and everything, like r L is a he's a little I mean that's like all the more power too, and I'm sure that would be delightful to you meet him or see

him on that stage. He's someone that like I liked. I liked the lack of access I had to his persona, his process and was like, Oh, you're a spooky man that just like, where do these ideas come from? I bet you live in a weird like main Stephen King scary thing and just like I don't know my fingers one stuff typing. And then to have him just be like, you know, follow me on my Space and like I'm doing a meet and greed and like very out and

about like people that like are into knowing. Beverley Cleary is not who I'm thinking. Who's just like Judie Blue and that she's like on Twitter and like we d M or whatever. I'm just like, I don't interesting. But arl Stein statement out speaking about statements about who's gay and who's not. Because every spec pilot I've ever written, I years later sent all the production companies had gone

out to a statement about who's game. You know everyone you thought was they wasn't that you know, this never went beyond the second drafts in our meeting didn't go great. But I just like you to know that those two characters they do end up getting married. There was a great ClickHole thing. Whoever wrote it, Uh, ClickHole was like

a cross crossing a line. Dick Carroll has revealed the has crowns um because okay, but he always had so he peeled back somewhere even back in the day where at the end of each Goosebumps book he'd be like, now and come join the Goosebumps fan club, like remember those pages like those, Yeah, he would always want he always He's always been this person who's like wanted to interact with the Yeah, and I think like publishing as a thing, pre j k. Rowling has always wanted how

do we get people? Like even more on the train of like he was an early guy that had a website, like if there had been social media, it was like, you know, like there's a mailing list, we'll send you a newsletter, Like you know, they want that engagement. I just like always had this thing of being like I don't I'm happy with the books and I don't look look new creators, and I'm down to find out more

about them. I'll stalk anybody's Instagram like a weird like director of a movie that I kind of like, would be like, well, I want know about you know, his life, but for that stuff from childhood, I'm like, I don't. I don't need to, like now be your peer, wouldn't interesting? Like I never? I never, yeah, I never. I have never sought out information about J. K Rowling's life. I'm a Harry Potter person. But like whenever she's like has an interview, like and they're like, this is J. K

rowling story, I'm like, I know her story. Her story is Harry. You don't watch the interview? No, I mean I've watched the interview, but oftentimes is great. I did watch the one with Opera. Did you like Harry Potter? You're Harry Potter? You know I enjoyed Harry Potter. I love the uh Cormer and Strike novels. Oh, what's those are? Robert? She wrote it under the super right, like they are fantastic,

better than the Casual Vacancy. Uh. It's like it is like truly great, great detective writing and a sort of pulpy but she's like a very very you know, great great literary writer. But they're straight for their mysteries, but like super well done, very re British, they're like and she like pumps them out almost the first three were one a year. I think in the midst of everything else,

she's putting a play out in writing screen like she's incredible. Really, Like there's some writing in the Harry Potter books that

is stunning, like when when when he died? When he dies and the ghost of the ghost of his last laugh still on his face when fred Fred Weasley dies and then um, just like the whole imagery around Cedric dying, Like how sudden that felt, and like that that just felt like she's good, the whole chapter where he's where, where he's dead at King's crossed, Like do you perfectly match up with my girlfriend's sister who is the biggest Harry Potter So is my girlfriend, but the sister is

the exact age. Actually I do perfectly match up you do. I never even thought of that. I was like, oh my god, that must have been unbelievable to get that book every August or whatever legitimately start seventh grade legitimately

did you read it as they came out. I grew up with them, but that one was so That's what was so weird about it is it was like when that the tone of the books changed, I almost didn't notice because my kind of perception of of of like the dramatic sticks was also changing, like I felt like, and then you read them back and that first book is genuinely written at a different reading totally well, but like they matched up for us towards the end because the last one came out when we were seniors in

high school. I think that you're right, yeah, because the first one I read in fourth grade would have been a little bit younger totally, So they ended up matching towards the end. And then like when the movies first came out, and that's when they matched. When they cast the kids as the actors, they were the same, they were the same age as It was crazy, and I remember reading a reading like a casting breakdown or whatever. It was like only looking I don't know why this

is coming out in British, only looking for British actors. Yeah, it was like heartbreaking. And my dad said to me, you know what, if you worked hard enough, you could be Harry Potter. I was like, I don't think they're checking from me. Dad. He's like, if you worked hard enough and you put your mind to it, you would be Harry Potter's casting guys. They're on your side. All they want to do is find a good tape exactly. They don't know what they want until they see. But

wait now, I do want it. Before we got on, before we started the pod, we were having a really good conversation you guys about Mr Holland's Open and I want to share one thing. Well, one thing is my dad. We were watching Mr Holland's Opus and there's the character of Rowenna, who is the teen girl that Mr Holland almost fucks, he fully and then he encourages her moving away to the second act, temptation of being like your man with a kid and a wife, responsibilities and just

but you got the student. It's just like, I mean, she's got something in her eyes. I mean there's a spark and when she left the town. My dad had a classic land which I only just recalled in this conversation before, which was, let me tell you something, I don't think she makes it because I don't know anybody out there named Rowenna, and what's like, like, does he mean and he could mean both make it that if the character had made it, she'd be famous, be like, oh my god, this is from or that she in

some weird time loop. She the character makes it so big that people are now naming their children after the fictional It's a weird world within a world. I don't know where his mind was existing at the time. I just remember he was like, well, she shouldn't have done that, because I would tell you something. She didn't make it. We don't hear anyone named Roguanna, like as if she was supposed to be like a share Madonna. That's a classic Rich Rogers. I cannot work out the logic of that.

This is I'm sure you guys don't watch this. Uh. I very much love the show Bosh uh. And it's based on these novels named Bosh. But in the novels, originally the character of Bosh is Rich because there was a Bosch TV show based on a case of So the TV show starts and he's got a Bosch poster in his house and you're kind of like, okay, so there's a different Bosch TV show in the TV universe. Okay,

I get it. But another weird thing about the novels, and they've sold, you know, a hundred million copies is The Lincoln Lawyer is the half brother of Bosh. It's written by the same author. They also made a movie of The Lincoln Lawyer with Matthew McConnelly. Yes, and they do overlap in some of the novels. I guess I

haven't read those, but in a recent Bosh book. I'm reading the book which is narrated by the actor who plays Bosh an audiobook, he calls his half brother Mickey Holler the Lincoln Lawyer, and his half brother answers, uh hey, like hey, little brother, alright, alright, alright, And then in the book it says his brother has taken to doing a Matthew McConaughey impression after they made a movie based

on him starring Matthew McConaughey. So like in now the universe of the Bosh novels, they there's the real Matthew McConaughey movie, but it's nonfiction. It's nonfiction, and there's a Bosch TV show that's not this. It's like strip and you know what that is? Also it's in the Oceans franchise now where there's Julia Roberts exists in the Oceans universe, but Anne Hathaway doesn't. But then meanwhile, fucking Daphne Kluger does.

But then it's all, wait, okay, so you're saying, because I been seen all the Oceans movies, Julia Roberts the actress exists in the Oceans universe, and Julia Roberts plays account.

The big twist of the second movie is they keep referencing talking about I think her name is Trish or something cast you're going to pose as Julia Roberts, but being like, you know what we could do because test does, and everyone keeps being like she's not gonna do it, no, and then they finally are like will you and they and You're like they must not be talking about this, and then it's like they are so like Bruce Willis plays himself, it's like a whole because she happens to

be her identical stranger. It's like, it's so because in any other movie where there are real celebrities in there, you can like make some logical you can you can suspend some disbelief and say, oh, every other celebrity accepted that the actors who are playing these people exist in this world. The only thing that would have made Oceans a better is if Anne Hathaway that's true. I think it would have made it so much funnier. And I already think that movie was great and huge amazing for her.

Like I think, I think the public narrative on Ann Hathaway right now is like so positively down for because I like, she also got to play the I've only seen half the movie. I'm sorry, but the heck, but she gets to play She gets to make fun of totally without having to be literal about it. She's not so indulgent that she's playing and Hathaway is a big buffoon or or whatever public I and she's playing this

like fake version. It's perfect. I think the way that the character was conceived and presented and performed would have been such a funny comment on Anne Hathaway. I just think it. Soderberg would have taken that swings a little Gary Gary Garry Ross, Cooper, Ross, very Ross. How many carrots? Is it enough enough? She's very good, it's towards the delicious, very good. Um Wait, we were having this conversation about

movies that unfailingly make his crap right. I was saying that Mr. Holland's Opus is one of two films that has a scene that I can access any time and like make myself overcome. And it's not a movie that I'm like, well, it's the most important movie to me or the yes, we're Mr like like to win a

fight with my girlfriend, you know, like a yeah. Mr Hans opens when he uh he discovers that his retirement ceremony is actually the first performance of his American Symphony and he stands in the current raises and it's all his former students grown up and he chokes up Richard Dreyfussance and then Forrest Gump when at the end he meets Haley Joe Osmond and he asked Robin, right, um, is he smart or is he stupid? Like? And She's like, He's one of the smartest boys in this class. That's

a really good one. I'll say mine is the culmination of Big Fish. When the father is dying and the son has to tell him a story and basically he just reveals that like they had this great adventure to take him back to the river and then when they get to the river to put the father in the water so that he can be the big Fish. Um, all his family and friends had were there waiting for him and cheering, and none of them were sad. They were all so happy to see you. Oh my God.

And just the music. I can think of it at any time if I want to cry, you can find me in my room listening to the big Fish track. So a question about that, because I don't remember that scene perfectly. Is anyone on camera crying? Because that's my big thing, Like if not that, any time I watched

someone cry, I cry. But like in those two movies, it is like the first time you see those characters like Buckle and like I was at a wedding this weekend and like looking at an aunt I've never met start to cry during bows when kick into me, Like it's like laughter, begetting laughter, Like I get very social about it. So it's interesting that you're big Fish has to be honest with you. They weren't crying, but they

were very sure yes you know what I mean. And I think there's a shot there's a shot of Helen a bottom carter and she's like trying in of happiness, and I'm just like and I honestly, I'll tell you what what what's doing it for me? There? The thing that I'm like keying into is the father son thing. Also, have you ever seen the movie? I often talk about this movie? Um, oh my god? Why am I not able to think of Kira Sedgewick, Robert Downey Jr. Uh Uh sorry sorry? Um, oh my god, Oh my god.

Heart and Souls. Heart and Soul, No, I've never seen it. Heart and Souls is one of the like suddsist like soapy kind of movies. It's like literally it's Alfrey Woodard, Um, Tom Sizemore, Uh, Kira Sedgewick and some other actor from that guy from this. It's just the movie in general is like they they're in a bus accident and they die and their souls are latched onto a young child,

Robert Downey Jr. And he starts to see them around. Wait, so this is super young Robert Downy Well, but he's a child playing Robert Downey Jr. And then this this the parents start to realize that their kids like a little funked up because he sees these ghosts, but they can't see write them. So he is all he's all weird, and the parents like get divorced and it's horrible, and we've got a whole crew of ghosts. He's got a crew of ghosts that are like attached to him, and

they don't know why. And so they when they say, we're kind of ruining those kids, like we have to leave him. And so they make a conscious decision to all one time tell him we're going to leave you. And they're his best friends. And this is the beginning of the movie. So as they're all leaving him one by one and Alfrey Ward is the last to go. Alfree is the queen. It's actually culture number four is the queen. And they all leave and this kid, this

child actor is just crying weeping. This one from me but you need to see it also has Elizabeth shot Elizabeth. Yeah, it's really really really my god. But and then so then us go on from there. It's so the ghosts are then they're able to see him, but but he can't. So they essentially grow up with him, or they don't

grow up them. They're there as themselves. But he grows up into Robert Downey Jr. And becomes like a douche and so then they hear to him again because they realize they need him to help them do their unfinished business. And then the movie gets going. It's a really good movie. It's really good, and it's like weepy and like early nineties, like when they used to make movies like this. But

Robert Downy Jr. You're so good. There's a lot of good scenes of like the ghost taking over his body, so he'll like take on the characteristic stuff like Hera and Alfrey and Tom Sizemore, who's like crazy. Were they were going to make that now, it would have to be faith based, like yeah, they're like, you know, Katherine Hegel and like another TV actor, and it would just be like, why isn't all the scenes in the daytime? People would make it more complicitive. Enjoy the movie. Does

it exist in the vacuum that it currently exists? Is my recommendation. Do you have one of those movies but it's a weepy one for you? Yeah, but they're they're and but we were saying this before off off Mike that it's they're not prestigie films, but yes, but mine are so so basic and it's fine, but without fail and I did this before a scene where I had to cry, Um the fucking this like when just what I got you there on high maintenance? This is this

is high maintenance. This was um. I was literally in the kitchen, I know. I was like, I'll do it on the day and then was like, what are you doing? I was like, I need to watch this clip this part and inside Out when they're in the bottom of the pet and I was like, and then and then it's it's amy just like sobbing and don't you remember like when she used to do this thing? And then and that part unfailingly makes me cry and I don't

cry it stuff. And then the other one is these are both Disney movies twist for you never really when she yeah, when when she loved me, it was great. But mulan on at the end where she brings the sword in the metal, she's like, father, I brought you back this and then he takes it, doesn't even look at it, throws it, throws it to the side, hugs her God parents stuff gets me. It's yeah, and that's a parent stuff too. That's that's a parent thing too.

And then the inside Out thing is a childhood thing. So it's it's it's all, it's it's that. That's what I'm working with, very good ones, but they're both like both like super like Blockbuster Disney movie, right. I mean, to be honest with you, those prestige movies that are that are that would make me cry. They just kind of sit in my gut and make me very They're heavy. I just like, sit with in my despair. Yea you

you walk out like stunned or whatever. And I mean, I think Hollywood it's a criticism of them, but they're like they're wilfully taking like narrative coding steps to manipulate you in a way that I think artsy tour people are like, well, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna like have swelling music. I'm not going to zoom in on a trembling lip. I'm gonna play it truth or cut away or let you think about it. It's like, sure, do that, but like the manipulation work works for that

if you want to get people like tissues. You know, Also, it's a movie, and whenever people are like, oh look, it's like, yeah, it's a movie. Like people like the early reviews of a Star is Born. They're like, it's a little like treakily at times, I'm like, yeah, because it's a melodrama, like it's it's a it's a musical, and it's a reboot, it it's a it's a bunch of things. And I will weep at that movie. And the way that I will get my spirits back up is I Wild Binge Big Mouth season two, which will

be premiering just minutes after we get home. I'm sure. Oh my god, oh my god. I mean, you know, listen to it on the drive and it's it's not even a visual medium television cartoons. I mean, it's just come on, all right, is it time? I think it's time. That's time for I don't think so, honey, nervous. This is our segment Max. We we kind of know what Max is is. But it's gonna be great. It's gonna be one one for the books. I have a concept but and I don't know what i'll say, but I

know how I feel. I don't know my words, but I do in my heart. I don't know, do you know my heart? Okay? Great? Um, this is Matt Rodgers. I don't think so, honey, his time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Robin Right, because I could smell it on you. I could smell the Kevin Spacey apologism when you said you didn't really know him when they asked you, you worked with them every single day, and now you're saying he deserves a second chance. No, Kevin

Spacey does not deserve a second chance, Robin Right. I'm sorry. Also, I don't think so, honey. I'm gonna come for your performance as well. I've kind of been doing the same thing for five seasons. Very good at sitting stone face and receiving information coldly. You are one of the best in the biz. But honey, nah. Also, look, you're not doing much more to lift the material up from where it's been for the past three seasons, which is not that good house of cards. I don't think so, honey.

You died with Bo william I am absolutely not watching this last season now that you said what you said, I don't think so. Money. Please tell victims of assault that they are not as worthy as Kevin Spacey of a second chance. I could I could smell it on her for months before it came, this like thing of her saying I think everyone can be rehabilitated and should be given a seconds. I could smell she said she did not. She was very tight lipped about the whole

thing and never came out with a statement. And then she got a lot of praise for like being the one to spearhead the fact that like the show was going to continue, people were going to lose their jobs. But she could have done all that and said all that without saying that Kevin Spacey can be rehabilitated, deserve a second chance. Go ahead and think that in your own time. Don't make a public statement about it up.

Don't bring that opinion to the table at the seller. No, and you know that Robin Wright has been trying to get just because just because we gave you a little bit of props for being part of a scene that tugs at the ear the tear ducts of one Max Silvestre, not mean you're getting out Scott free in this episode of Last COI. You're just a tool to Max. Somebody says, somebody tweeted how about Robin. I was like, I mean, I don't think honey, that tweet. But they weren't wrong.

They were They weren't wrong. I was a fan of her earlier work on the show. No, she's not growing and changing. I'm gonna watch the new season, but like, do you think you will? You're gonna watch it? I am. I'm genuinely curious because it's not that far away, and it will be the first mass product with like mass money behind it that is trying to you know, it's

not going to be a Pucci thing. It's not gonna be like minute one, they're just like the bus just hit them and then they just don't talk about it. It's gonna somehow being mentioned in it. And like not that I think that show is pitched perfect. I've always found it very like binge able. But I'm like, how are you how are you guys gonna try to stick

this landing? Like putting aside over trying to save jobs or it was already it was her story anyway, I'm very curious and how people accept like I'm I'm the rationale. I don't want to just read the headline, you know, so I and I so often have just it's been easy to just be like, well, I don't care about that person's work, so I don't need context on the bed put them in a bucket um. But this, I'm just like, how are you gonna do it? Prediction car bomb,

but there's see, I think there's no way. I think it's like a gun in the mouth. I think there's no way that they can make the character a hero without like awkwardly, if they make him a martyr in the show, it's going to conflate mourning Kevin Spacey with Kevin Space's character with morning Kevin space the actor's career, like like it's gonna have to be like something terrible comes out, like murder, sue or whatever, and just like

everyone tried. Like I think they're gonna do a meta swing where it's like them trying to cover up what he did to just like keep the country. I don't know that's me being optimistic, but it's a huge opportunity, Yeah, huge opportunity to kill the man. Yeah, to figure out the way. I mean, I think there's those scenes in movies where someone's on top of the train and then

they look up and their head gets snapped off. Like I think I think you could have a sort of satisfying Dennis Hopper, phil Seymour Hoffman just take the top of the head off. Do you think with that crazy accent he does, it would feel right for an anivil to come follow him. I feel like that actually would feel right. He's doing barbershop. He's doing barbershop quartet, like the reunion of the Military Academy and like the anchor on top of the school like kill yeah, he is

just Yo Semin Sam. Why did we Yeah? Anyway, Okay, this is Bowen yangs. I don't think so, honey. His

time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Joe Biden, you know what, all these tapes are coming out from minding anyone stuff and I didn't I didn't follow this obviously because it wasn't but like he's asking her some like bullshit questions and like he was supposedly the good guy on the Judiciary Committite back then, and like because then like Manner did this thing last night where she like cuts between him and Arlen Specter and Arlen's a

full monster and he's he's being awful. But then like but then you google, if you google Joe Biden old photos, you see like the ones where everyone's like, oh soon Joe Biden his bay, but then they're the ones where he's just has some shit eating grin next to Clarence Thomas, like whatever, Like it's just I don't know. Joe's Joe's great. Study's gonna kill me when she hears this Delari and study Green. But if she stands for Joe Biden in

the election, I'm gonna freak out. Continue God, but like I don't know, Like it's all this sceneded hell stuff is like really upsetting me, and like, oh my god, if you go, everyone should read her op ed today in the New York Times. It's fantastic, and that's one minute. You know, this definitely doesn't help him. Yeah, it's not

a good luck, it's not cute stuff that's good. I don't think he survives, you know, correctly, like critical rethinking of like the buddy buddy, like we're all different sides of the same, you know, like it was it was slimy in collegiate and like you put up and smiled at a lot of gross stuff like maybe you thought you didn't have to judge it, but guess what now, And and then you helped and then you let through

some fucking sexual assailant into the Supreme Court. Already, did you see confirmation the HBO movie with Kerry Washington where she now but literally today after after I read this Need of Health and I was like, I have to watch Everyone should watch that movie. It's a really good remind did she win an Emmy for that or no, she was nominated, not she was nominated. But you know who else is in at Jennifer Hudson as the woman who also was allegedly assaulted by Clarence Thomas or he

made advances on and they don't allow her testify. Which people also don't understand is that there was more than one woman that was willing to come forward and they kept her in a room and told her you're going to testify, and hours and hours and hours went by. Watch the movie. Jenn For Hudson plays that character. I forget who plays Biden, but um, Greg, yeah, I think you might be right. Yeah, Number one hundred and three books. Okay, it's time for Max Silvestris. I don't think so, honey.

This is gonna be really good. Okay, okay, go no, no, no, this is Matt you call it off. This is Maxilvestris. I don't think so, honey. And as time starts now, I don't think so Honey, honey, you taste weird. You are annoying sugar. You are sugar that refuses to own a TV. You are sugar on rollerblades trying to explain to a group of girls at a party what inception was about. You figured out how to make tea worse.

You are bumblebee ship. You answer the question what would it taste like to felch maple syrup out of Jeff Goldbloom in the fly? Also, I don't think so, honey, you are not healthy. That is some debunk to eighties Newsweek cover story snack well Ship. You are for people on a diet who also move their lips when they read. You are a y for British grandma's with dementia. You are sweetener for basic people. How dare you get served at a restaurant? You are brief cheese. You are sun

dried tomatoes. You are spinach flavored wraps. You are an egg white omelet with a scoop of cottage cheese in the middle. You're a sticky thigh master covered in flies. Kids, look at Winnie the Poo's asshole. I don't think And that's one minute, and it's gotta be one of the best water, the best ever. You know what, you are single handedly changing the way we attack. We attacked this

on the podcast. We have to come in with with good ones from now we do because this was a sleigh and I can tell you know it was a sleigh. I can see in your eyes athlete is coming out and I'm like trying to catch my breath. You look at Serena. I'd rather lose Max sylvestryst Thanks guys. That was But I will say this, I like, honey, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. No, no, no, I don't. I mean that was not this, not me. I just wanted to be clear that this was not like a

meta joke writing exercise, likeney. I don't like honey, honey. It's ruined, like ruine, Like I lost security deposits and more than one apartment because of some shitty thing of honey. I bought for a recipe that fell over on the pantry and like takes the pain out like it is always annoying to me. Wow, I never thought about what it can do to a home. Yeah, clover, honey, the whatever plain honey is bullshit. I understand everyone's Max's Reservations

with honey Manuka honey from New Zealand. It's it's it's not from a come, it's from the minuca flower. It's still bubble, Okay, I eat literally eat it from a spoon. You're disgusted. No, because not because I like the taste, kids that listen to them. Not because I like the taste, but because literally I've been getting sick all year, like once a month any time over the summer, when I felt a tickle in my throat, would take a scoop of manuka honey and the next day would feel fine.

It's just it's medicinal. It's not homeopathic, it's not any of that bullshit. But it's like, oh this is there's just like literal and I'm out. It's no, it's not even that. It's like there's there's stuff. There's stuff in it because it's a lot, because because like alive, it's flower sort of right exactly. Like it also tastes like me to being forced to drink lemon honey, like when I was like a kid, just being like no, no, you have to have lemon and honey and stop making

me drink this. It tastes like medicine. I understand that, but Manuka, honey might be sort of not not the gateway, but an exception. I'm willing to there's so much to explore, there's so much willing I'm willing to open my mind. Okay, you know thinking next, open your mind, open your mouth and open your mind, your big mouth. That is Oh my god, zing zinging. That was one of the goats, one of the goats, greatest of all times. Absolutely, thank you, man I was guessing at wut goat. Yeah, yeah, And

I'm really proud. You should be so proud. You're the athletes here. This is huge, Max, It's this is such a pleasure. And you are only the third straight man to have Tim Popular Domino, John Gabres and finally, sorry Bill, I forgot you. Guys are true like American Canadian treasure. You have the most sterling reputation among Pierre's friends and fans that like I have ever encountered. People love you, and you know we're going to have to award you yea allied the year you take it away from who

do we give it him? John Gabriel my brother. Now he doesn't need it, he doesn't need it. Um Wow, this is fantastic. Please check out his comedy line up special on Netflix, Big Mouth on Netflix October five. Yes, and I'm very excited to say that we're going to be ending this episode right now with of course the song, which is the theme from A Star is Born. And for the rest of that song, you go see the film.

Go see the film. This has been a Forever Dog production, executive produced by Brett Ballhum, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.